#I’ve seen it and experienced it and I know our strong woman experienced as well
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november-rising · 3 months ago
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This was supposed to be an ask for @thoughtfulchaos773 but it became something else…
I’m slowly going back through The Bear as I try to make sense of season three and my initial notes. The rawness and vulnerability and bare bones (season one) is what got me. Watching two people trust without trusting was foreign and needed in my TV watching landscape.
Season two was powerful but I didn’t understand why until season three. In hindsight it’s so obvious. As a Black female from the US, having a white male reorganize around your shared dream/goal is fantasy. To have this white male with all the accolades see and want you for your talent and who you are - for your fire…
That’s rarity.
And then you both endeavor upon a shared dream that is sidetracked by a white woman from his past - a safety blanket. A means to “heal” without trying. He’s searching and broken. And he had the privilege to hide and to be lost.
Sydney tried. She tried as all us Black women do. We shut it down. We shut it off. We cut it all away and deny ourselves in the necessity that is called preservation. Success. Some semblance of security.
Season two gave me hope. It gave Sydney hope. Even though this man with mental health and family trauma/trauma-response obligations, she had his acknowledged devotion.
And then the fridge. It was the summation of Carmy using anything (Claire) as a way to stay on the outside. Because, even though Syd and Carmy worked to grow, Carmy and Claire worked because of past hypotheticals.
They just work in the sense that Claire is easy. She is woven into a family he’s wanted but felt afraid to open up to - for valid reasons. This man has seen his older brother protect only to be sacrifice for the family. He found a way to survive and Carmy is living in his example - to survive and provide.
To me, this is the shift of season two and the dissonance I felt watching season three. It’s the progression of Syd and Carmy from togetherness to separation.
Syd was finding her footing and security in knowing that the most excellent CDC trusted her. She felt a sense of purpose in The Beef no matter the shenanigans. This Black woman was given some sense of control of the kitchen. Again, she was trusted. Season two, Carmy is out there processing his grief through Claire (a woman or feeling he attempted to avoid via fake phone number). Season Two, Sydney is out here, facing her fears and supposed failures, starting up another catering/restaurant venture with someone she thought she might be able to rely upon.
Season three ended with her trusting in this man who failed.
And he keeps failing.
Carmy is atoning through self-flagellation. Sydney is turning away to an apology that’s too late and too hollow. Too hollow because the last time someone attempted to apologize in this industry, it was performative. May it be the bank. May it be anyone at CIA. May it be clients prior to The Beef/The Bear. It was something people did for no reason but to assuage their own…whatever.
Carmy, at face value, was different to Sydney. Though an acclaimed white male, she felt heard. She was seen. But Carmy failed like all the others…and this time it hurts because she shared. She cared. Not with some idol but with a colleague and maybe more.
Season three breaks my heart. It’s two people in relation with each other, crying out but not knowing the radio station to dial into for each other.
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cowboyjen68 · 10 months ago
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Hi Jen, sorry for dumping a big rant in your askbox but your blog has helped me figure out my identity and I don’t have anyone to talk to about this in real life lol. Feel free to delete if this is too weird.
So I’m a 17 y/o butch, and I have been masculine since I was a little kid. I always felt lucky to have a family that was generally okay with my gender nonconformity. They treated it like a cute quirk of mine, and I never felt like I was being judged or that I should change the way I am around them. My dad got a kick out of it. One summer he let me help him build the deck in our backyard. He always took me to baseball games, he dressed me up in his old clothes, basically treated me like I was his son and I loved it.
I feel like as I get older, my masculinity becomes less acceptable. I went to visit my paternal grandmother for the holidays, hadn’t seen her in a few years, and the first thing she said to me was “I thought you would’ve grown out of all that by now” (in reference to my haircut and outfit, I think.) I just don’t know how to react to the way my extended family treats me now. They used to be totally fine with it, but I spent my entire Christmas feeling like I was being judged for every little thing.
Like, what’s changed? Why is it cute and funny when a little girl wears boy’s clothes and wrestles with her cousins, but disgusting when I grow up and settle into my masculinity?
It’s like I’ve crossed the invisible line between being a tomboy and being a dyke, and now no one wants to entertain it anymore.
Again, sorry for the rant haha, I just feel like I’m going crazy because I tried to talk to my sister about it and she said she didn’t notice them acting any different, but I swear my aunt spent half of our Christmas dinner telling me how pretty I would be if I just wore a bit of makeup lmaoo. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, because I’m feeling pretty lost right now. Thanks, and happy holidays!
It is not weird at all. I hear that young lesbians, particularly butches, do not have older role models to bounce ideas off of or vent or get any perspective on certain experiences. Moms and Dads and straight sisters and cousins, no matter how well meaning, will just not always "get" what is happening. They say things like "we love you no matter what" and "we don't care if you are a lesbian" and they mean it, mostly. But they often don't see the subtle clues (or blatant ones)they toss around that indicates how uncomfortable they are with you being so visible, but just existing as you naturally are.
AND OH MY GOSH yes I have experienced exactly what you are talking about with the deepening judgement as you move from a cute little Tomboy to an adult butch women. It is almost like they hope to "catch it early" when we are in our teens and redirect us away from the "danger" of being a visible lesbian. And a woman who does not, in very overt ways, conform to their idea of how a woman should be and act.
My dad was relatively consistent in treating me pretty much like he would a son and, to his credit, he did so with my straight sister. We were allowed to do just about anything my older brothers did. In part because my sister was pretty strong willed but also a lot like him. I was less strong willed but she had mowed the path.
Mom was the one who was forever concerned about my looks and behavior, both out of worry I would not fit in, and because she had a certain expectation of how her daughter should grow up. Both normal Mom reactions. She understood bullies and knew that sticking out could be difficult. Her solution was not to strengthen my resilience but to attempt to "tone me down". Her efforts increased as I made the jump from kid to teen and into my late teens. She would discourage me from cutting my hair, becoming almost angry when I brought it up. She would tell me how lovely I was in dresses and skirts and say thing like " a little make up would be nice". It got really old. It lead to us not always getting along even though I loved and respected my mom. She was a great mom. But this one thing made us both crazy. She could not cool it and I could not change who I was.
Friends at school saw hints of my liking girls. I stopped wearing cowboy boots and my favorite horse buckle and it their place went with K Mart Tennis shoes and a generic belt that came with my pants, again, from Kmart. I put away the cowboy fringed shirts and flannel and went with simple jeans and sweatshirts, the acceptable attire for boys and girls in my rural high school. I kept my hair long to disguise my "looking like a boy" traits.
I (barf) agreed to date a boy and spent the better part of that time making excuses to not kiss him or spent time with him. I was starting to listen to mom and do my best to hide ME from the world. Anything (with in reason) to throw the world off the scent, the scent of me being a lesbian. Being butch made that one more step difficult.
It is hard to hide the space we take up naturally.
It might seem hard to see it now by your family is slightly well intentioned, knowing that being "seen" easily as a lesbian can be dangerous. But also, they are uncomfortable with your energy and physical presence because it does not coincide with their ideas of what a woman acts, feels and moves like. This is a THEM problem and I can give you words of comfort based on experience.
The more you begin to be you, and dress in what gives you comfort the more your confidence will grow and be evident. People who are emboldened to try and change you for their own comfort tend to back way off when there is no opening for their opinions. They just sort of realize they are wasting time. AND for those that don't, there are always a few, you don't have to give them any air or acknowledgement. You get to let them waste time and energy while you look great in whatever you wish to wear and however you wish to cut your hair. And in a wonderful turn around, you don't have to spend any effort just being you or trying to defend or correct them.
You are fast approaching adulthood and with that will come even more freedom and independence. Don't rush it but also, work towards that.
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revserrayyu · 5 months ago
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2.3 Penacony thoughts [part 3]
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***SPOILER WARNING*** for the 2.3 story update for all the Charmony Festival cutscenes. At this moment in time I’ve already finished the whole story, so be wary that I may reference later scenes as I ramble on.
Could you imagine us traveling the universe on this luxurious ship instead of the Astral Express? I know that’s probably not the intention Robin had in mind upon gifting it to us, as I’m sure the ship can’t possibly leave the dreamscape anyways, but that’s all I could think about.
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Now the whole bomb scare Sparkle sets up is.. weird. You knew it was coming because it was shown during the 2.3 trailer and all those self-destruct buttons she had passed out to everyone over the course of the whole Penacony story just had to be used at some point, but to have it all happen during the Charmony Festival, something we were all looking forward to experiencing from the very first moment we heard about this planet and to witness as to why it’s such a grand event, only for it to all be interrupted by a fool is kind of a let down to me? And yet.. it’s weird because it’s this whole panic inducing situation that I enjoyed the most during this part of the story..
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First off, it gets everyone to participate in this crazy bomb hunt and help each other out, even characters who don’t know each other well enough or at all, which I love seeing. Secondly, Aventurine.. not everything has to be a gamble, sir! We know from his conversation with Boothill that he’s not even on the ship right now! He’s simply enjoying the chaos from the sidelines, which I suppose is fair because if I was taunted by Sparkle like he was during previous versions, I’d keep my distance too. And Ratio’s bare minimum reply and swift exit? Incredible. Go off king, way to give us nothing.
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We’re all a bunch of losers I swear. What I find most amusing here is Black Swan also joining in with a simple “Haha.” I don’t know why but it seems so out of character for her and therefore hilarious. Also, is this woman even here? I know she has a tendency to show up whenever she pleases but is she actually on the ship lending us a hand or just joining in the fun like Aventurine? If it’s the latter and she’s laughing on the sidelines too, then that’s even funnier to me.
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These messages reminds me so much of those fake ones I’ve seen people make with how random they could be, like I don’t even think Topaz even knows who Argenti is and yet they’re chatting like best buddies, ready to gossip about the wildest drama ever and I love it so much. Someone with talent please draw this for me.
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Breaking news: Boothill turned into a doll. Not really, but hearing a doll say “fork you” along with every other silly attempt at swearing was quite alarming.
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Once all the bombs are taken care of, the last one is of course found by Firefly as she goes off this ramble about what’s impossible and how we have to make our own choices based on what we feel in our hearts or else they’ll never happen and yeah.. it gets you thinking about all the things that have happened in our own lives and gives a sinking feeling that perhaps this girl won’t get a happy ending even if that’s what she’s striving so hard for.
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Seeing Firefly take a bomb and fly high up in the trailer also gave strong implications that this was how she was going to experience her third and final “death” and I was honestly sort of dreading it. Yeah we still might be in the dreamscape but if this is supposed to be the last “death,” then I feared we’d return to reality and somehow find her.. you know, “not well” in the dream pool.
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I love these shots we get of Firefly inside the SAM suit during the cutscene and how even they’re used during her combat and all the trailers she had as well. Heavens know why all the clothes disappear though upon the transformation.
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Yo poor us.. we really thought this was going to be the end of our dear Firefly. We’re either in complete shock that she decided to go through with this decision with such certainty or we’re praying with all our might to whatever Aeon will hear us that she survives this. Or both. And honestly? Same. The music was starting to hit hard around here too huh?
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For a brief moment they actually lead you to believe Firefly actually got blown up alongside the fireworks with how the explosion was times. As much as I enjoy these dazzling pyrotechnics in reality and in any sort of media, this is one show I wouldn’t be able to cheer loudly for. I can’t deny that it would’ve been such a memorable and powerful death scene though.
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Then you got this little menace showing up again, having the audacity to skip so cheerfully up to us as if she’s done nothing wrong in her chaotic life while we’re over here just moments from bursting into tears (probably). 
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Until she decides, hey, you really need to take a closer and WHAM! Knocks us overboard with that large hammer we saw in 2.0.. or the Black Swan and Sparkle companion mission, I forgot which.. regardless, it was so sudden I couldn’t help but laugh because girlie, what’s wrong with you??
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BUT THEN we’re saved by a literal knight in shining armor! Well, not exactly Argenti with that kind of description, but it works with the way we’re getting princess carried!
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Truthfully, I can’t be too mad at how hard they’re pushing the whole possible shipping agenda between the mc and Firefly because they look so darn happy to see each other during this moment, with us actually seeing her alive and Firefly still being alive herself. It’s a good moment for sure.
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I mean.. okay, yeah, the hand holding and spinning among the many flashy fireworks feels very much like a shoujo moment, but again, I’m a sucker for fireworks, so I gotta admit it’s at the very least a pretty scene. We’re also sorta falling together so they gotta hold onto each other in some sort of fashion anyways, right?
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We get quick glimpses of everyone during the show too, such our lovely family watching us free fall.. Hopefully they’ll save us in case a rogue firework gets too close to hitting us.
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Unfortunately, I wasn’t quick enough to get my own screenshot of our IPC ladies sharing a drink but I’m such a fan.
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Argenti, Boothill and Ratio.. now there’s a trio I’d never imagine spending time together, but just thinking about all the heartfelt words of praise, mild swearing and intellectual speeches that would result from such an occasion would be so entertaining to watch and I’m sad it couldn’t last longer. Not only because the scene switched to somewhere else, but also since Ratio was just about to leave. I doubt he would last long in the presence of these two dudes.
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Hearing Robin’s new “Had I Not Seen the Sun” song during this whole scene truly helped bring out the emotions full force. That’s something I hope continues during future story arcs.. wonderful music. The game never misses with its awesome soundtrack, but songs with lyrics that will leave us in tears? Yes please.
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You.. you magnificent and beautiful man. How I wish we could’ve seen you more during the finale! I really would’ve loved seeing all the IPC members working together.. I mean, technically they did, but seeing them all in one place would’ve been nice. Ah, I wonder if he could see the fireworks from all the way down there.. where Acheron nearly killed him.. at the park.. that I helped fix- wait a minute..?
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I’m not even gonna question how Black Swan is in Golden Hour right now. She was participating in the texts during the bomb crisis so I’d just assume she was onboard the ship helping out, but with how easily this woman can appear and disappear in the blink of an eye, she could’ve very well took a drink and teleported herself to a much safer location. Regardless, I definitely need to pull for her on her rerun. I enjoyed her very much.
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Yeah yeah, the ship vibes are as strong as ever here, I get it, Hoyo. Y’all know that typical romance scenario, where two people are looking at something breathtaking and one comments something along the lines of “it’s beautiful” and the second person agrees, only instead of taking in the pretty sight in front of them, they’re looking right at the other person instead? Yeah. That’s exactly this scene without words because despite all the flashy visuals and loudness of all the fireworks going off around her whilst falling from who knows high up in the sky, Firefly is solely focused on us while we’re just living in the moment. Again, I can’t complain too heavily. It really is stunning to see.. and if a friend I knew flew away with a bomb in order to save everyone and they actually came back alive, I’d probably hold their hand too.
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By itself, I think 2.3 was okay, even with the lack of an epic boss battle or mind blowing, dramatic ending cutscene. I enjoyed exploring the new area and the many character interactions, but following everything that happened previously in the story, I feel like there’s a ton of questions I still have and so much more I’d like to see from certain characters.
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Oh boy.. I still have all the stuff regarding Acheron and the goodbyes to chat about next. That’s gonna be emotional.
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piqued-curiosity · 1 year ago
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Dude, listen. Listen closely. I know I’m not gonna change your ideology and frankly, I don’t care. However, I can say this:
You’re not a feminist.
You make out women to be weak and defenseless against the big scary men. I thought empowering women was to let them know that they’re strong and worth just as much as men are.
In fact, people like you are the reason why people laugh at feminists and make fun of them. You hate men so much to the point where, to me, it’s comical. It’s like you forget that women are just as capable of being rapists, pedophiles, and sexist as men are.
You keep on saying that women are powerless in the world, but never saying what they could do to actually improve. And instead, you decide that the whole issue is trans people and men.
Man, I would hate to know your views on trans women and trans men. Especially those that are of color. Like me.
Your views on women are like a man from the Victorian Era who’s never seen a woman before but wants to write one into his story.
You say that young women have been raped, but fail to mention the fact that all throughout history, young boys went through the same thing. Men have went through the same things.
But no. Women are so weak and frail and defenseless against the big scary men, and they have no rights whatsoever, and trans people are so weak but also so scary but also so blind but also are evil.
You’re not a feminist. You’re as sexist as the men you want to complain about.
Likewise, I understand that I won’t change your ideology. But I’m glad we’re able to have a civil conversation about our differing points of view!
Point me to where I said women are weak and defenceless, and I will correct myself because I’d have misspoken, or you’d have misunderstood my words.
Empowering women is about that, yes. It’s also about giving women tools and resources to overcome oppression that is out of their control (and to be fair, out of the average man’s control as well. It’s centuries in the making and can only be undone by a collective effort to dismantle it).
I also never said women can’t be bad people. I agree that they can be. That doesn’t mean sex-based oppression suddenly doesn’t exist, though. In the same way that a gay or bisexual person can be a bad person doesn’t suddenly mean homophobic oppression doesn’t exist.
You’ve clearly never spent much time on any feminist blog like mine, because there’s many posts we make about what women can do to improve our lives. One example is unlearning female socialisation and becoming more assertive and confident, instead of remaining meek and docile like we’re expected to be.
My opinions on trans men and trans women are that trans men are women, and trans women are men. You can see my more detailed opinions on my blog, and see that they don’t change depending on the colour of one’s skin.
If you want to pull the “waaah I wonder what you think of me, you probably hate me card”, I should do the same and ask what you and your community think of lesbians like myself: female homosexuals. Female people who are only attracted to other female people. I’ve experienced a great deal of homophobia from the trans community, as have many other homosexuals, especially lesbians.
Once again…who’s raping the young boys? Primarily men.
I don’t believe that acknowledging sex-based oppression is sexist. I do believe that thinking sexist stereotypes can make one a man or woman is sexist, though…so maybe take a look in the mirror before throwing around accusations of sexism because a woman approaches feminism differently than you do.
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psychelis-new · 1 year ago
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hi, lys. how are you doing? i hope everything’s fine
i was wondering if you could help me figure something out, of course if you feel like it. so, some days ago i saw/ heard a future date in my dream and these days i’ve been searching for interpretations, trying to understand what was shown to me. considering i have no personal connection ( birthday, anniversary, etc) to this date i wondered if it could be a future prediction or something like that, but as you know dreams can be cryptic and symbolic so i’m not exactly sure. the thing is that the person in my dream ( i could only hear their voice) was so loud, almost shouting it and they gave me angel number as well. have you ever had a similar experience, could you please share your thoughts on it? thank you very much :)
Hey! Happy to hear from you. I'm trying to work on myself at this moment, I hope you're doing good. :)
As you said, dreams can carry different meanings and reasons (some totally just help us relax and nothing else) and honestly dates and angel numbers can carry a message but it may not always be related per se to the images you're having/people you're with/things you're experiencing in your dream as they are. It more often relates with the feeling you may be experiencing (and you may even not be there yet in your waking life, or at least not totally). But ofc, I'm not saying it could have not been your ancestor/guide trying to contact you and telling you about something specific. It totally could, I cannot be sure.
Let me give you a couple of examples. I remember having had a dream and someone telling me to keep strong because after a certain date (that honestly I could even relate to someone's bday in my waking life but ig it was just a coincidence), a certain stressful situation would have changed. Now, that situation I was dreaming about, something that back then was causing me some stress in my waking life as well (despite in a different measure ofc), didn't change after that date. At all. Not one bit. It's occasionally still here tbh. But another source of inner stress I had, probably even worse if I have to say, did change after that date. I also had other dreams in the following weeks, especially a bunch of even more accurate premonitory dreams one after the other (I already mentioned that ig, all of them were about me being helped by a blonde woman), that guided me to make a decision, take a certain action and gain more peace (exactly as all those dreams predicted). I imagine that the stressful situation I dreamt of at first, was simply a pretext for my subconscious to talk with me openly about how much stress I was accumulating (despite most of it was originating not from this "clearer"/more tangible source but from another, a more inner/mental one) and to tell me "calm down, it'll go well, listen to me".
Another time, not long ago, someone in my family dreamt of being awaken at night by a phonecall (around 3 am, if I remember well) from their parent telling them that they were there outside in the dark but to not worry cause someone was coming to pick them up. Being this person someone who left the 3d not long ago (and seen the timing), I considered this as a "Don't worry I'm okay, I'm not alone" direct message to their child (the story is longer and more complex, but still...).
So yes we can get direct messages from the 5d. And yes, we do get future predictions thorugh our dreams, and we also do get guidance about it so that we can make the right choices in our waking life to get there. But the most important thing imo, is to not stress over any detail that is not clear or try to find a reason or a meaning, cause other dreams will come if we need to really know about anything. I'm sure you'll get more infos/downloads/guidance through other dreams as time approaches and maybe as you grow more fond of a specific emotion/feeling. As for angel numbers, same thing: feel free to randomly check a bunch of meaning of this angel number (even just reading the first lines you see in your research page without clicking anywhere -I generally do this way) or to try and notice if you happen to see it around you more often from now on (without stressing or searching voluntarily for it ofc). It may guide you somewhere or give you more clarity, but if it doesn't... let it go. What you need to know, will come to you when you need.
(BTW, that date I dreamt of... I had forgotten about it and realized it was connected to the date I started feeling better after being helped by a blonde woman only like... now. So yeah, let things go their way, it'll go well anyway).
Best of lucks!
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a-drabble-a-dray · 3 months ago
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(This is a warm-up.)
It was said to be the center of the world. The highest point in the spiritual realm. The nexus of all that is.
They all made the trek to the tower regardless.
“Heh,” the old sage coughed out, already lacking the strength to leave his bed, “such a crowd? For what?”
“...Master.” His first apprentice grimaced. The young man stood awkwardly, having barely spent a week in the robes of the new royal archmagus. “This… All of us…”
“Yes, yes–” The sage smiled, weakly. “It… I appreciate not being alone tonight.”
A figure stepped forth towards the bed.
The apprentice retreated, quickly.
“This is…” The man hesitated, golden crown held to his chest. “We are… Honor-bound to be here. After all you have done, this is only the respect you… You deserve…”
“Come now.” The sage sat up with a groan, waving off a pair of fretting apprentices and ignoring a healer’s glare at the stress. “You aren’t a boy anymore, you mustn’t be sobbing in front of your subjects.”
The king offered only a silent nod, steeling himself.
“I have seen more generations of your family than I care to count. And you are among the best. Be strong, and true to yourself. You are a noble king, through and through.”
The man let out a long sigh, steadying himself, before finally stepping back with nothing more than a bittersweet smile. The sage was left with the gift of a peaceful future.
“...And you.” His aggressive tone hid an ever-present playfulness. The apprentices, standing off to the side, still could not help but perk up at the accusatory voice. “What are you looking so sour for?”
“I…”
“Do you have to ask?” The young woman’s barb cut off her senior student. She’d been even less accepting of the sage’s impending circumstances, even if she took to the role of emissary between mages with fervor. “This– All of this, shouldn’t be happening! You can’t just…”
A silence hung over the room. The sage broke it with an extra degree of weakness in his voice. “...I’m sorry.”
The apprentice flinched, frustrations cut short by the apology.
“However, you must fly on your own from now on.” A smirk crept onto his lips. “Unless you’re going to say I didn’t train you right?”
“...Ugh.” She grimaced, at least getting some fight back from the teasing. “Well, you didn’t! You could’ve taught us so much more, but–”
“I’ve shared my wisdom,” he interrupted, “and conveyed my knowledge. My answers, however, I feel will do you no good. Find your own. Maybe then you’ll be good enough to take hold of mine.”
“...You could’ve been less difficult on your deathbed.” The first apprentice huffed, forcing a smile from his master.
“I’ll die as I’ve lived!” He proclaimed proudly. “And I would have you two live as well.”
“...We are doing our best.” The young man responded with a strained smile.
“That is not what I mean. I have, hopefully, taught you how to find magic in the world. And, preferably, lit a fire in your hearts for learning.” He paused, thoughtfully. “Now I would have you use that same passion and curiosity to find happiness in your lives. That is an order.”
The apprentices stepped away from the bed. Neither would be seen crying before half of the kingdom’s nobility. However, neither would ever disobey such an order. In their wake, they left the sage with the gift of a strong legacy.
“...I wonder. Would anyone know how the kingdom is doing?” He scanned his eyes over the crowd.
His gaze quickly fell to one of the figures by the side. A small woman, with bags under her eyes deeper than his own.
She reluctantly stepped forward. He had experienced first-hand her thoroughness over recent times, and her anxiety would surely mean she had recently double-checked the information he needed.
“...It, well, is about the wards, correct?” Her voice was as small as her figure, and her hesitation almost gave him reason to be worried for the state of his enchantments.
“Anything wrong with them?” He raised an eyebrow.
“N-No, of course not!” She shook her head. “Every barrier, enchantment, and device is fully functional and reinforced. I checked personally, it’s…” Her voice seemed to wind down just as it began picking up the pace. “Everything is well.”
“Good to know. It seems you won’t mind your promotion.”
“...Excuse me?”
“Did nobody tell you?” He asked, recalling his request not to tell her beforehand. “We will need people specialized in keeping track of magic now that I won’t be able to.”
“B-But… Surely there are others?” She blinked. “More qualified others?”
“Perhaps. But I’d like to see you not overwork yourself to death.” He narrowed his eyes. “Bookkeeping for an entire kingdom is not a job for a single person.”
She paused, before silently sighing in defeat.
“...And I must apologize about your child.” He sighed.
“Child…?” She blinked twice.
“Yes– Well, your nephew. I may not be able to fulfill my oath to lecture him in magic, at this rate.”
“I… No.” She shook her head. “No one would mind. Please, don’t worry.”
“...This goes for all of you, in fact.” He raised his voice. “I must ask all of you, brave, noble, and wise alike, to forgive the vows I may be unable to fulfill. As much as I–”
His speech was interrupted by a particularly painful cough, stirring the crowd into stress and the healers into action.
“Please, lay down.” The head physician helped him down, valiantly attempting not to sound too aggravated over the constant excessive action.
He couldn’t help but smile at the unfamiliar feeling of magic being used on him, though the effect was far less than he’d hoped. “...Come now. You know as well as I that it’s no use.”
“...I still have to try.” The healer shook his head. “You’ve got your pride as a mage, and I have my…”
The physician’s words trailed off. By the time the sage saw the reason, it had already been spoken out loud.
“...Dust…?”
“Heh.” The sage’s laugh quickly devolved into another cough. “Unfortunately, elongating my lifespan had… Consequences for my body. It’s hard to heal a crumbling edifice.”
“...It’s coming, then. Isn’t it?”
“Finally.”
The placidity in his smile said it all.
The dust flaked off his skin and robes alike. Beside the amulet around his neck, the crowd was left helpless to watch the Great Sage of the kingdom dissolve into nothing right before their eyes.
Historians would pass down that night as the end of a centuries-long era. Its catalyst, meanwhile, passed away seemingly without a care in the world.
Beneath the tower, a half-finished magical circle sat alone.
“Idiots.”
The sage stepped forward, levitating the nearby flask of arcane salt and beginning to work through the final stages of the spell’s preparation.
A part of him was disappointed no one noticed the teleportation spell. However, the pride of having developed an undetectable long-range teleport quickly overshadowed it.
He felt a twinge of pain on his back, bending down to finish one of the smaller sections of the circle. Age was catching up to him, even if not quite at the rate he publicly announced. Healing did still help, at least.
Finally, the bulk of the busywork was done. The features had been properly stabilized, physically and magically.
Reconstructing a human body was a difficult matter.
While he worked to fake his death– And prevent the nation from crumbling in his absence– he had begun to agonize over how to make himself less recognizable. It was easy at first, simply redesigning the muscles and organs to be more receptive to magic. The real issue came when having to reshape the body and face.
The youth he’d reacquire might make him unrecognizable. Or his personality might make him unmistakable.
He grimaced. The little he’d learned about etiquette from interacting with nobles left him aware of the frighteningly accurate powers of perception some few carry. Avoiding such eagle-eyed folk might prove too great a challenge.
...Etiquette?
He paused, approaching a certain segment of the circle. A grin crept onto his face.
It would be, in fact, rather easy to fully recontextualize his every mannerism. The gendered divide in expected behavior always struck him as odd– Some physical differences would nearly invert the way high society was encouraged to act. Other mages, sanely, also found it strange; however, those were few and far between.
It took less than a minute.
Biologically, it was that simple. Although the quickness itself only made him more aware of the time.
He was on a timer. The reserves of magic he had gathered at the tower over his life would discharge at midnight on the day of his “death”. The building itself wouldn’t be destroyed, though remaining inside would be predictably dangerous.
Or rather, it would be if you did not know where the energy would be discharged towards.
He had less than an hour. His preparations picked up the pace. The small details could be fixed later, after all. The circle’s integrity had been quintuple-checked. Everything was in place.
Despite how vocally he despised “once-in-a-lifetime” opportunities, he always found a strange excitement in it. The empty, silent, cavernous underground chamber echoed with his breaths. Measuring time in those last few minutes could distort the carefully balanced magical flow. He simply had to wait in silence.
The spark was blinding. The rush of magic wasn’t unlike the rumbling of thunder. A strange pride washed over him as the light followed the circle perfectly; the first spell of its kind ever performed, and it was a resounding success.
He sighed. His body felt warm, pressed against the cold of the polished stone floor.
Perhaps he’d eventually be the one to pioneer this field of magic as well, someday. The mental note was already fresh in his mind.
The first rule of bodily reconstruction: It is excruciatingly painful.
He tried to stand back up. His legs, unfortunately, disagreed.
“...New muscles.” He sighed– Only to flinch at the sound of a voice with all its rasp replaced by softness.
As he finally managed to sit up, he finally began considering that he might have not fully understood what being the body he made would entail.
He raised a hand. Wisps of light quickly gathered around and between his fingers. His soul was intact– And his spellcasting ability with it.
It was trivial to configure a magical barrier to reflect light.
He looked into the conjured mirror.
The capital, once, was a fraction of its current size.
Lifespan was a real concern for those who only were allowed to become mages after excruciating trials.
An experiment was proposed.
A child with potential would be immediately initiated into the order.
A child with potential would have decades more to learn and teach.
A child would have to work far more to keep up.
A child would fail. Mages do not fail.
A child tires, as mages don’t.
A child invents. Masters invent. Apprentices learn quietly.
A child falls.
And when a young noblewoman attempts to comfort a crying child, the child is forced to think of what to say.
A mage says “no” to rest.
A mage keeps studying.
A mage keeps studying.
The image on the mirror had been staring, perfectly still, for minutes now.
She didn’t know why it had tears in its eyes.
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ovaruling · 1 year ago
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to the supportive replies, thank you, and, trust me, i know, i’m an avid absorber when it comes to the data of women’s fitness, and i love and appreciate all that we are strong in and i enlighten others around me as often as i can.
i’m grateful for the consolation but i must say that as an experienced exerciser i simply have never yet seen a woman able to outpace or outlast a man at any level of fitness. i have to imagine it would take a woman at the absolute peak of like, competitive or even Olympic levels of fitness to be able to out-measure one (1) man as far as working out harder and/or longer.
i’ve just never seen it done, even by the fittest woman i’ve ever known at my gym who is consistently top-ranked. i’m familiar with the studies and i’m sure they are true, i do trust the data, but i don’t think they can ever apply to the majority of even women who are above average fitness.
i think it’s ok to acknowledge that men have us licked here without having to come up with a comparative advantage we have. i understand the reasoning but i think we owe it to ourselves to be honest about the physiological differences here and i think it’s ok to be upset about them.
in explanation for myself though, it’s maybe more about the level at which men can exert themselves in their advantage at explosive power with just… so much less effort than i can. even at an advanced age, with injuries. and it… simply demands comparison every time i see it bc it’s almost impossible NOT to wonder what it would feel like for *me* to have that ability (which they barely even seem to appreciate).
i’m articulating this poorly, but it’s just difficult for me not to be impressed by the physical power, and also in a way that incurs envy of that (completely unearned) prowess.
i guess that’s just the nature of our being great apes—what we see, we want to prove we can do, too.
i do know our advantages in flexibility and balance and endurance as well, but i have always had very little interest in disciplines that prioritize those as the dominant strengths. i regrettably like the male-designed sport, unfortunately. i like that it takes explosive power and requires repetitive resetting power of high-impact and gruesomely heavy work.
i guess i just wish i had even 1/10th of what the average couch potato man has sitting in his rotator cuff or even just his femurs as we speak—even if that rotator cuff is chromosomally more likely to blow in ~5 years, i still find myself jealous of what it’s capable of NOW.
and i think that’s pretty normal given the social and the media and the social media value of male athleticism and the fact that most of our popular sports are designed for men and that the overwhelming majority of the people i see each day at the gym are men at all stages of life and fitness.
in my lifetime i will probably never live to see a world where a sport designed to highlight women’s strengths is considered the prevailing athletic feat of the human body, of humankind. which isn’t to discount things like gymnastics and pilates and yoga, because they’re incredible and require talent and power beyond anything in most people’s comprehension, but those are just not my racket and never will be, i guess.
i think it’s normal and ok to be jealous here. i know lots of women are, even when we’re very acquainted with our own biological advantages. i think it’s normal to grieve a bit when we’re irl faced with the very real athletic chasm between us and the most painfully average moid. which isn’t to say we’re inferior in any way—i don’t need the pep talk, i promise. but i think we need to be allowed to admit to ourselves that in this division of potential, men will pretty much always outperform us, and in a landslide.
at the very least it helps us understand more deeply and more personally why sex-segregated sports are so important, i guess.
but i just was expressing a personal grievance about the sport i picked. i still value our advantages as a sex, but it’s ok to admit to myself that i don’t really value them as much as maybe i’m supposed to, even after all of the radical talking points have been laid out for me.
maybe that affords the stage for that growth in the future? idk. but for now, i’m not in denial—i’m simply envious, that was the sentiment.
i know crossfit was invented by a man and i know the advantages women have and i know my chronic extenuating circumstantial limitations i know i know i know i promise i know BUT.
i am still broodingly pissed and violently jealous that the guy who started crossfit at the same time as me and only goes twice a week and doesn’t even do any other workout in between is capable of upper body output and a vertical jump that i will only ever be able to dream of
i hate that so many men are just natural athletes even if they’ve just been sitting on their asses their whole fucking lives
i hate that men who have never so much as lifted a dumbbell can come in and bench twice my max
i hate that men who have knee injuries can still run better and faster and oxygenate more efficiently than me
it’s not fair lol i put in 6x as much work at 10x the effort expended and i get fucking tuppence out of my body for every almighty dollar they cash in just by standing up
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lovingperfectionsblog · 2 years ago
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A Feisty Woman
Max Verstappen x Reader
Request: hi babes how about a fic where the reader is in a relationship with max, and she's like a bad, confident bitch who likes to do whatever she likes. she likes to dress up, show skin and whatever she pleases; but max is confident, he likes that about her, he doesn't mind that other people get to see who only HE sleeps with at night. And other people ask him about it, but he's like why would any of the stuff I fell in love with about her bother me.
Summary: Max gets questioned about you in an interview and gives a surprising response.
Warnings: Language, mentions of sexual activity.
Word Count: 1363
Authors note: I absolutely love men who just stand by their authentic partners and celebrate them for who they are and are protective of them is just absolute top notch for me <3 Slightly shorter than usual but I hope you all enjoy 😊
_____
“So Max, would it be okay if we moved onto something a little ore personal then?”
“By all means”
“Forgive me for saying this, but your relationship as seen some controversiy so far hasn’t it”
Max couldn’t help but laugh at the question.
“How did I know it was going to be about my relationship”
“You’re not exactly dating someone who generally follows the conventions around the paddock”
“What do you mean by the conventions around the paddock?”
Max knew exactly what he meant, but he wanted to hear him say it. He wanted to hear him find a polite way of saying he thought that Max’s girlfriend dressed inappropriately and seemed a bit too forward.
That’s what everyone said.
“Well, the other WAGs are slightly more, and please know I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but they tend to be a bit more conservative, less loud, less out there, more reserved you know?”
“And look how it turned out with the last woman I dated that was like that. I need someone who can take me on, someone strong, someone who doesn’t stand for any shit and takes what she rightfully deserves.”
“And it doesn’t bug you?”
“What? Dating a feisty woman? It most certainly does not, again, like I’ve said, I need someone like her.”
He had meant that. You were like no one he had ever experienced before and finally he found a personal who could truly challenge him in the best of ways. A woman who stood up for herself and her beliefs and was authentic no matter what. Someone who didn’t just, go along with whatever he said. Someone he was sure of. Someone who didn’t just want him because he was the Max Verstappen. Someone who honestly actually didn’t care about any of it.
Just of him.
“Oh, no, I mean, how she dresses and behaves?”
“Is there a reason I should be bugged be it?”
“Well, it isn’t exactly reserved is it?”
“And why is that something that should bug me?”
“Well, wouldn’t you want your woman to kind of just dress like that for you?”
“And not show all of that off? It would be an actual crime. And on top of it, there is plenty she isn’t showing the public. Plenty which is reserved just for me and our home and our bed.”
“Oh no, listen,-“
“No, you listen, what my girlfriend does is her business. All that’s important is that her and I are loyal to each other. While I’m here, lets actually properly get into this. She is an educated, confident, loving, witty, funny, charming, loyal, and passionate woman, and so goddamn beautiful, fuck, I could go on forever listing every good fucking quality about her, but all anyone is focused on is how she dresses and how much skin she’s showing. There are so few woman out there who are confident in who they are, Christ, there are so few people who are confident in who they are and we want to ruin the ones who already are? No, enough, I love her, all of her. She has literally encouraged me to be more sure of myself and honestly made me love myself more than I ever thought possible simply because she is brave enough to be who she is. Because despite what everyone else says and how ever many hits she takes in the media from journalists like you, she loves herself relentlessly and that is what matters to me”
“Max, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend-“
“No this interview is done. No more about my girlfriend yeah?”
Max didn’t even give the journalist a moment to respond, simply getting up to make his way back to the paddock, done with conversations around his personal life and more importantly, you.
He knew he was going to get an earful from his media team, knew that he was meant to invite the public into more of his life, to build a better brand away from the angry Max Verstappen on track, but no way was he going to do that if this is what you had to endure because of it.
And lord knows he wasn’t going to lose you because people were too invested in how you dressed.
_____
“So, I saw the latest interview” you spoke gently as you carded your fingers through Max’s hair, feeling him soften into you as he lay with his head on your chest.
“Jesus Christ” he was so thankful once he had returned to the hotel that evening to find you there, warm, safe, everything he had needed after a day like today.
“The liberal girlfriend who dresses too slutty” you laughed to yourself, shocked that this is all the media had chosen to focus on and pick apart, yet still feeling a slight insecurity creeping up, concerned that, despite all Max had said, he maybe felt the same underneath it all.
“God I fucking hate that word, hate that this is what you’re called” his grip tightened around you, trying to convey every ounce of protectiveness to you that he felt, and if that meant trapping you in his grip for the moment, then so be it.
“If you want, I can dress a little different from now on” you broached the topic with him, not exactly wanting to change how you portrayed yourself, but willing to if it gave him some reprieve. ‘
“Don’t you fucking dare change who you are because of some bullshit journalists who don’t know anything about you. I love you. As you are. Please, do not change a single thing about you and plus, you wear what you want because I know how to fight.” he didn’t intend to sound so forceful, but he needed you to know that this, who you were, was always more than enough for him and he never ever intended on going for less ever again.
“Plus, and as much as I hate them calling you a slut, it wasn’t the word I was referring to” he was looking at you now, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.
“And what word were you referring to then love?” confusing on yours in contrast.
“Girlfriend”
“What are they meant to call me then?” God he loved feeling you laugh almost as much as hearing it.
“My fiancé” the seriousness was just as evident in his voice as the playfulness was, so much so that it shocked you into silence, although you didn’t want to push Max too quickly, you’d wanted nothing more than to marry him.
“Are you saying you want me to marry you there handsome?” neither of you averting your eyes, dancing along a thin line between seriousness and joking.
“Oh, it is definitely in the works I can promise you that” and it was a promise he was keeping, with full knowledge that the ring was busy being made and should be ready for him next week to collect.
“Sure you can handle your wife wearing such revealing clothing?” you gave a little side eye as you began to move your hand lower along his chest.
Max leaned in, lips brushing against yours, a poor attempt from him at preventing the shiver running down his spine as he felt your nails gently grazing his skin, desperate for the moment he felt them along the band of his underwear.
“I fully intend for the first month that we are married to make sure that neither of us wear any clothing at all” his eyes suddenly focused on the strap of your shirt, gently edging it down your shoulder.
“And I think we should start getting used to it now, don’t you think?”
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dialovers-translations · 2 years ago
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Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Shin Maniac [10]
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ー The scene starts in the dungeon
Yui: Stop! Carla-san, cut it out!
Please...Just stop...already...
Carla: ...Nn...Haah...
While we’re at it...we might as well make a child right here, right nowーー
Shin: ...!
Stop! I won’t let you...do that!!
Carla: I do not need permission from you. 
Shin: ...Ugh.
Carla: ...Why are you so hung up on this woman?
If I successfully impregnate her with my child, our plan will come to fruition. 
Shin: Yeah, I’m sure it will. Exactly...
Carla: Then, whyーー
Shin: ...Nii-san, someone like you...
Yui: ( ...Shin-kun...? )
Shin: I doubt someone like you could ever understand. 
Ever since you were born, you’ve been handed everything to you on a silver platter, so you could never understand how I feel!!
ー Carla steps back
Carla: ...What do you mean?
Shin: See? You really have no clue. 
...From the moment you were born, your power was acknowledged...By Father, by everyone else... 
There’s no way you’d ever understand!
Yui: ( I’ve never seen Shin-kun this hurt before... )
( I don’t know what exactly happened between them but... )
( I guess even Founders are capable of experiencing feelings...such as pain...or emotional distress... )
( They’re just like us. )
Shin: I always told myself...That one day I would surpass you. 
I’ve loathed you this whole time, so much so I wanted to kill you. 
Carla: ...
Shin: ...Nii-san, you...
You never once doubted that the children we’d leave behind would be your own flesh and blood, did you? 
I suppose I might have thought the same in a distant past. I wouldn’t have even questioned it.
You are strong. Therefore, your children would inherit that strength. 
But...Right now, I no longer feel that way. 
Back then, youーー
...Ugh.
Carla: ...Shin...
ーー Is that all you have to say? 
Shin: ...!
ー Carla approaches Yui once more
Carla: No matter how much you cry and complain, my resolve will remain unchanged. 
Right here, I willーー 
Yui: ...! N-No...
Selection
→ Carla-san, stop!
Yui: Carla-san, stop...!
Carla: ...Nn...
Yui: ( I-It’s no use... )
→ Shin-kun, save me! (♡)
Yui: Save me...Shin-kun...
Carla: You silly girl... ーー Look, that powerless guy can not do anything for you. 
...Nn...
Shin: Stop...Cut it out...!!
Carla: ...Hah...Nn...
Yui: ( At this rate, I’ll... )
ー Yui closes her eyes 
Carla: ...Ugh.
Yui: ( Ah...He loosened his...grip...? )
Carla: ...Kuh...
...I suppose this is how far I will get...
*Thud*
Yui: ( I-I’ve been released...What exactly...happened? )
ー She opens her eyes again
Carla: ...Ugh...
Shin: ...Nii-san...?
Yui: ( Carla-san...Something is wrong with him. But...How come...? )
Carla: ...Shin. I have changed my mind somewhat. 
I shall punish you directly. 
I should have simply...killed you back then. 
*Woosh*
Yui: ( Darkness is gathering in his hand...!? )
Carla: ーー Farewell. 
Yui: ...!!
( Oh no...At this rate...! )
...S...
Stop, Carla-san!!
ー Yui runs in front of Shin
Shin: Wha!? You...!
Yui: ( I mean, at this rate...Shin-kun will end up hurt again. )
Monologue
ーー I’m well aware that something is wrong with me. 
However, as I watched Shin-kun glare at Carla-san with eyes full of pain,
I somehow saw myself in him. 
Someone slowly losing all hope and suffering,
due to a reality they simply cannot fight back against...
That is why I dashed forward. 
Because I did not want him to get any more hurt. 
There was Shin-kun’s surprised expression, and pain (痛み).
Everything goes black before my eyes ーー The voice calling out my name grows distant. 
I did try to respond in one way or another,
but I could not even part my lips (唇) to speak.
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー 
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fandomlit · 3 years ago
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neutral, chap. 3 (dream smp x reader)
series summary (in game!au) when an exiled tommy finally rebels against a manipulative dream, he finds safety in neutral territory, a place owned and guarded by you. staying in your safe haven opens up the younger one’s eyes to your way of life, while also revealing your deeper past before neutral; a past that involved a war for your love.
chapter summary after teaching tommy how to make cookies, you surprise him with your archery skills as you fight off mobs swarming outside of your house. tommy comes to a conclusion that makes him slightly ashamed of himself; being neutral doesn’t make you weak.
warnings swearing, killing of mobs (zombies, spiders, skeletons), some mental health talk (kinda)
previous | series masterlist | next
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gif cred belongs to @netheriteaxe
it was storming the next night. after a nice dinner of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, y/n proposed that tommy help her make some dessert for them to enjoy.
“you sure i can’t mess this up?” tommy asked warily as she opened her small, self-written recipe book and placed it in front of them.
“im sure,” she assured, patting his cheek endearingly. he made a face. “your face is gonna freeze that way, kid.”
“whatever,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes as she laughed. “what are we making?”
“cookies!” she smiled. “one of the easiest things you can make.”
tommy sighed. though it was embarrassing to admit aloud, he couldn’t help but feel nervous about the experiment. “what do we need?”
“well...” after thirty minutes of patience from y/n, frustration from tommy, and unhelpful side commentary from ghostbur, the cookies were nearly ready to place in the furnace.
“how big should i make them?” tommy questioned, looking up at y/n from the baking sheet she had spread out for him.
she shrugged, placing her hand on the back of the chair ghostbur sat in. “however big you want. measure with your heart.”
“you also said that about the chocolate chips,” ghostbur commented. “now we’re all going to have cavities.” y/n whacked the boy on the back of the head, keeping her expression kind as she looked at tommy. 
“however you want them,” she assured. tommy nodded in return, turning back to the baking sheet just a loud banging came from the main entrance of the house. y/n peeked out of the kitchen. “oh, wow, that’s a lot of mobs..”
ghostbur leaned back to see. “goddamn!”
“tommy, you go ahead and portion and pop those into the oven,” y/n spoke, running a hand through her hair. “i have a feeling my door’s not gonna last much longer.” she rushed out of the room without another word.
“having fun yet?” ghostbur questioned as tommy began to portion out the blobs of cookie dough.
“kinda,” he shrugged. “y/n’s a good teacher.”
“she is,” ghostbur agreed.
“it’s also kind of nice to have a break from more chaotic things,” tommy continued as he worked. “you know, y/n surrounds herself with peace. she’s not a fighter like you were and i am. so, it’s nice to do as she does.” ghostbur chuckled and tommy looked up just as he finished portioning out the dough. “what?”
“whoever said y/n wasn’t a fighter?” ghostbur teased. just then, said girl came back into the kitchen with a bow in hand and a quiver full of arrows slung over her shoulder.
“cookies in yet?” she asked, eyes gleaming with excitement he hadn’t yet seen from her. her words were rushed out, and he stuttered to reply quickly.
“y-yeah, well, about to be,” he managed out. “what are you doing?”
y/n grinned at him as he lowered the tray of dough into the furnace. “someone’s gotta deal with the mobs out front.” before she disappeared, tommy called out to her.
“wait, y/n!” he called. “can i come with?”
“sure!” she laughed. “ghostbur, set a timer for fifteen, please!” tommy rushed to follow her as she practically raced up the stairs. ghostbur grinned after them.
“where are we going?” tommy huffed out as y/n led him down a hall he was yet to discover.
she slowed down, opening up a door that revealed the stormy night to him. “right out here.” tommy stepped out onto the small balcony. tarps covered the sides, preventing them from being pelted by the brunt of the rain and wind, but allowed them access to viewing the main entrance from the side.
“are you good with a bow, tommy?” y/n asked, still smiling as she delicately plucked an arrow from her quiver.
“uh- not really..,” the boy admitted, rubbing his neck sheepishly.
“that’s alright,” she smiled reassuringly as she lined up the arrow in her bow and pulled the string back. “i assume you’re better with a sword?”
“much better,” he nodded. she let out a hum before releasing the string from her fingertips, and tommy could barely keep up with the arrow that flew through the air and lodged itself in between a skeleton’s shoulder and collarbone, causing the mob to collapse into a pile of uselessness. tommy’s mouth suddenly felt dry as y/n loaded another arrow. 
he had never seen someone take down a skeleton in one shot, not even dream.
tommy watched as she closed one eye, aiming at three zombies lined up. she took a breath before tugging harshly at her string, then letting the arrow zoom through the storm and cleanly through the three’s heads. they all crumbled into a mass of rotten flesh.
“four mobs and two arrows?!” tommy managed as y/n reached for another. she looked over and laughed at the surprised boy. “how the hell did you do that?”
“i’ve always been good at aiming,” she spoke casually as she worked to load another arrow, aiming now at a spider working its way up her walls. she managed to lodge the arrow into its leg, effectively tearing it off of the creature and causing it to tumble onto the zombie below. they heard it hiss just before another arrow pinned through its heart and the zombie’s head, rendering both creatures silent. “not so much with close contact fighting.”
“i think this makes up for it,” tommy spoke distractedly, shaking his head with amazement as he watched her fingers move with instinct and practice. she launched another strong arrow into the hoard.
she laughed as she continued to work. “i fumble when im up close..” arrow after arrow whizzed from her bow. “from this distance, i can take my time. i can breathe, i can calculate.” mobs went down, pair after pair sinking to the cold, wet grass below. “and when we can do those things, our work only shows it.” she knocked down one last skeleton before she dropped her bow to her side. there were now only a few creepers and spiders mulling around.
“that was amazing,” tommy spoke after a moment of silence, looking at her with wide eyes. she gave him a smile. “i.. wow.”
she laughed just as ghostbur peeked his head out. “five minute warning.”
“thanks, ghostbur,” y/n nodded. “come on, kid. let’s towel off and eat some cookies.” tommy nodded, following her back into the house. he stayed behind with ghostbur as she went to grab towels.
“so?” ghostbur spoke with a knowing grin. “how was that?”
tommy shook his head, still processing the skill he had just experienced. “she’s the best archer i’ve ever seen! she didn’t miss a single target, she knew exactly where and when to aim, i-” he let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “i can’t believe i thought she couldn’t fight. of course she can fight.”
“neutral doesn’t mean weak,” ghostbur spoke wisely, placing a hand on tommy’s shoulder. the boy looked up at him with pursed lips, guilt weighing in his chest. “y/n is the strongest woman i know; she cooks, she welds, and she can work a bow like you’ve never seen. never expect anything with her, tommy. she’ll never stop surprising you.”
tommy nodded. “neutral doesn’t mean weak, eh?” ghostbur gave him a smile. “of course it doesn’t. it’s not like she chose this life.. there was a war.”
“right,” ghostbur confirmed. “it’s alright to be wrong sometimes, tommy. especially about someone you’ve known and lived with for what, a week?” he nodded. “see? you don’t have to know everything all the time.”
“okay,” tommy nodded, his voice quiet as ghostbur squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “wow. it’s strange to be able to hold myself to a lower standard.”
“y/n is teaching you some amazing things about mental health, tommy.”
tag list!! @vanhakirja @victory-is-here @inkyynki @airiour @sylum @kiritokunuwu @221bee-slytherin @bllatrixcarpnter @soullesstaco @stxrryb1tch @amibismexy @keiarma @akaichi-blog @runningoffofcaffeine​ @nonetookind​ @aquilla-favonia​ @feverish-dove​ @izuruamme​​​ comment below or message me if you would like to be added <3
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jarofstyles · 3 years ago
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Can we get a part 2 of the poc princess one 🥺
Actually… yes! You may! We had this little one on Patreon early access and now it’s time to release it to you all!
If you like this, check out our Patreon!
——
“Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Harry’s hand was threaded through hers, admiring their skin tones against one another’s. If you asked him, it was utter perfection. She was laying next to him in his bed, curled into his side. The silk sheets were softer than anything she had felt in her life, except maybe Harry’s touch.
He worshipped her. Never had a man given her this much attention… genuinely valued her and her opinions. They differed a lot but they meshed so well together, she had to wonder if perhaps this was fate. The first glance had her stopping in her tracks. Truly.
It was as if he was out of a painting. Standing beside his father, strong and regal. His deep blue jacket and gold detailing popped against his porcelain skin. His jaw was sharp, as if carved like the statues in the center square. Pure art. Art that seemed to be taking her in with the same intensity that she was giving to him.
Y/N was by far the most beautiful creation that the earth has ever dealt to him to gaze upon. Her sweet accented voice. Her beautiful natural hair, her plush lips. He hadn’t seen anything like her before and it made him go mad with desire. Getting closer to her only made it worse.
She began to smile. Her fingers gently twisted the multitude of crystalline rings adorning his fingers. The beautiful, long, skilled fingers that caused her the most pleasure she had ever experienced in her entire life. She was obsessed with his hands. Touching them, playing with them, having them graze any portion of her body, she would happily have them on her in a moments notice.
“I didn’t before.” She spoke softly, the words falling from them gently as they hit his mind. “But I do now, I am sure of it.” He cheek nuzzled further into him, now on his shoulder while she looked up from his hands. His gaze met hers with a tenderness she was unaware that men possessed. A loving look in his green eyes that made her feel weightless, like she floated in the clouds.
“I was hoping for that answer, beauty.” He gently untangled their hands and placed his on her hip, pulling her further towards him. “I was wondering if…” he licked those pink lips that had her staring. “You are of the same mind as me to stay? To become my wife?” His voice was slow and soft, as if a little bit nervous of her answer.
That was silly to her because there was only one answer. One obvious, large answer that if he looked properly into her eyes he could see.
“You’d wish that? For me to be with you that way?” She asked, gently placing her leg over his hip and clinging further to him. “Harry… I’d want nothing more. You don’t seem to fully understand my want for you. My emotions. I’ve never felt something this… full. My heart feels like it throbs when I see you. You’re unbelievably kind… you treat me with respect. And you give me pleasures I can’t even describe…” she felt her cheeks heat as she looked down, only for a moment before he gently lifted her chin back up.
She was met with his mouth. A full, warm kiss given to her as their lips met, his warm palm bleeding through her dress and pulling her to be flush against him. Surely they were breaking rules by having him in her temporary chambers but he truly didn’t care for any rule that kept him from being close to the sweetest thing he had ever had.
“Then I will ask.” He panted against her lips, their sticky kiss ending but also never stopping as he laid smaller ones to her bottom lip, excitement filling the air. “I will demand it, my love. I want you by my side. I can’t imagine anyone else. I want our children to have your nose… I want them to speak like you, I want them to be like you. I want you and your guidance to rule this kingdom… please.” He gently rolled them over, caging her in with his body on top of hers.
The thin fabric of her nightgown be damned as he kissed over her jaw, down her neck and to the swell of her breasts. “I want your skin against mine. I want to see your hand in mine and look into the mirror and see our beautiful contrasts… I want your body against mine every single night.” He nipped the skin playfully, making her giggle.
“Mm… my beautiful ray of sun. You glow brighter than any woman I’ve ever met. Body and soul. I itch to be next to you when I’m not.. I can’t imagine waking up to anything but you. Your scent, your lips, your words. I want to wake every day knowing just how lucky I am.” He nuzzled his face right into her breasts, moaning softly as her fingers stroked through his curls. The silky hair gliding through her hands, coaxing him to do whatever he pleased.
“You’re mine then.” He spoke between kissed, breathless as he tried to cover any available inch with his mouth and love. “Mine alone. I claim you. I want to be the only one who ever gets to have you. And you, you own me already. Heart and body. I will never, ever ache for someone the way I do. Just for a whisper, a caress, a tender look. You have me feeling like a boy all over again as a man.”
She closed her eyes for a moment, only to open and be met with the most sincere, sizzling sincerity in those deep green eyes. “I’m already yours, my angel.” She whispered, brushing the hair from his face and cupping his cheek. Immediately he leaned into it.
“Good. My heart could not bare the idea of you with any other person. Since I saw you… I knew we belonged to one another.” His lips met the palm of her hand, kissing all over the lighter skin and moving to the back where the color deepened. “These hands are mine. Will bare my ring and my name. And as soon as we are wed…” his eyes darkened, as he spoke against her knuckles. “I’ll fill you with my child. All of the land will know that I belong to you. That I have the most perfect woman…”
Harry hadn’t ever been possessive of people but this…. This was his soul mate. His entire heart. Maybe he was foolish for falling so easily but he couldn’t help it.
His angel had been brought here and be wasn’t going to let her go.
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nightfall-kachiniko · 4 years ago
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How about mikasa with a Pregnant s/o? I hope you get better btw!
Ah thank you anon! I hope I do aswell! And I love mother kasa concept! :D
『Mikasa with a pregnant s/o』
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[ MAJOR! AOT SPOILERS UP AHEAD! ]
THIS CONTIANS MAJOR SPOILERS REGARDING TO 139 AND CHAPTER 138
- after you guys left the survey corps,she practically BEGGED you both to be parents. And all thought you wanted to, you wanted to spend some years alone with her.
- Ever since Eren passed away, your girlfriend never smiled the way she used to. But that all changed when you told her you were pregnant with a baby girl. This woman bursted into tears smiling a smile you hadn’t seen in a while. She picked you up and spun you around the room kissing you as you to began to cry tears of joy.
- You told her you were pregnant with a small version of her scarf, hinting at it. And as soon as she got it, she looked at you shocked, making sure you were serious, “d-darling are you serious..?” She said a small smile on her face. She looked at the small scarf and the baby clothes that laid in the box that you gave her as a gift, twirling around the outfit examining it.
-you gave her a soft nodd as you wiped away a tear, “Your going to be a mommy” you said with a smile. She put down the baby clothes and looked at you, still in shock. “Your not joking R-right!?” She said a bit more happier. “No I’m serious!” You said, beaming with a smile.
-she scoffed a bit as tears began falling down her face. Mikasa smiled as she picked you up, twirling you around, while crying tears of pure happily ness and joy. “T-this is all I’ve ever wanted” She said, kissing you while wiping away the both of yours tears.
- Throughout your whole pregnancy, all she would do would show you support in every way possible. She may be a bit over baring at time but this woman just wants to insure that your safe and well token care of. If you try to even pick up something, she’s scolding you, saying its dangerous and what if you fall or trip? All you’ll hear is, “y/n! Be careful dear! Let me take care of that.”
-Oh you best believe she gives you baths. One wrong move and you could get hurt, to her at least. Mommas wants to take care of youuuu ૮₍˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶₎ა! Plus, if you think she’s overprotective then, SHEESH BUDDY YOUR IN FOR A RIDE DURING AND AFTER PREGNANCY.
- This woman goes out her way to make sure you and the baby are safe. She doesn’t like you going out into town since a ton of people would crowd there and god for bid if someone knocks into you.. Let’s just say they are gonna get beat to the ground.
- For names, i think she’d like something unique, mystical even. I think she’d like something like a word that means a unique feeling, like the word Heriath; Homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was. That’s my OC’S kid with her’s name anyways lol. Lacuna, Moira, jouska and others i think she’d like! You suggested if it was a boy that you wouldn’t mind naming the baby after Eren. She turned to you and smiled saying that she loved the idea of that, but, she couldn’t call him that without bursting into tears. You understood completely and was accepting of that aswell : D
— AND BOY OH BOY WHEN YOU WERE IN LABOR- Mikasa tried her best to stay calm. You both decided earlier on to have an at home birth with (just in case) a widwife to make sure you were okay. She held your hand and hugged you as you gasped for air, pushing as hard as you could. Mika would tell you things like “It’s okay baby.. your doing such a good job..” hike holding your hand, reassuring that you would be okay.
- When the baby came out, all you both could do was cry. I’d say if its a girl, she’d look more like mikasa with black hair and her Asian eye shape with your eye color. But if it was a boy, they’d look more like you with mikasa’s eye shape and mouth shape.
- She knows how sentimental of a moment you both as parents were experiencing, so she made sure you as the one who gave birth should hold the baby first. She kissed your head as you held the baby, caressing your hair.
- when mikasa held the baby, the first thing she did was wrap the baby in her red scarf. After Eren died, she turned the meaning of the scarf around. Eren showed her how to live, so she made a promise to show you how to live. And now that she has a baby, another piece of family, she vowed over her life to keep the both of you safe and sound.
- Her first words to your both’s baby was “I will always protect you, I promise you, over my life” She was so happy to be a mother. After all the chaos, she was so happy to finally live peacefully with the person who she loves the most.
- She has SO MANY DAMN RULES FOR WHEN ANNIE AND ARMIN COME OVER LMAO- No holding the baby standing up. All sharp objects aren’t allowed on you when touching the baby. No turning into a titan or she’ll cut off your face (these mainly apply to Annie LMAO) But after a while she chilled down. Annie was allowed to hold the baby ofc ofc.... Under MIKASA’S supervision ÙnÚ.
— the day your baby first walked, mikasa Litteraly cried at how big they had gotten and you had to calm her down like “Mika! Chill they aren’t even 1 yet and your already acting like they are going off to join the military!”
- Oh and speaking of military, your baby’s not going into the military- Hell n o. Momma mika would lose her shit even at the thought of her baby going out into gunfire. So if you wanted a military baby, sorry its not happening with her kid.
- The baby’s first words were “Muma” which was when they were referring to you. Everything this child does makes her so emotional. Litteraly even if the baby just picks up a spoon she’s almost in tears. She a proud momma dont let her down >:3
- I think our both’s baby would call her a unique version of mom. Like they would call Mika “Ummie” or “ummuma” But sometimes they’d just call her “mommy” so your momma and she’s ummie and mommy. (Lmao you call mikasa mommy too dont lie ;)
-OMI- YOUR KID AND ANNIE AND ARMINS KID ARE LIKE BEST FRIENDS. Your baby loves when they come over so they can see armin and Annie’s kid :D! AND OML- YOUR BABY LIKE LOVES ANNIE- She calls her “auntie awnnie” and always likes pulling at her bun while mikasa just stands and watches from the kitchen, eyeing annie down making sure she ant gonna touch her bby 😤
- Your child LOVESSSS Annie’s titan roar and everytime she comes over, they beg for annie to turn into a titan and do the roar. All you’ll hear is, “awuntiie awmmie! Titan! Titan!! 🥺” While annie rolls her eye with a small “fine” As she goes outside and transforms into her titan, roaring while your chid giggles. MIKASA HATES IT SO DAMN MUCH- SHE’LL ALWAYS SAY “You better be careful or I’ll kill you”
- of course, over the years Mikasa lightened up to annie and they are now best friends, but she cant help it... Over protective strong momma. but she wont allow armin to do it since his titans to big and dangerous ad trust me armin completely understands.
- Overall, she’s such a good momma. Always caring for you and her baby, making sure you both are safe and okay. She wouldn’t ever wish for a different life when she’s with you, and the sweet little one you two made <3
BRO THIS WAS SO LONG TO WRITE -
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thefirstknife · 3 years ago
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The Fall of a Pyramid Ship
Besties, I have a thought. Many of them actually.
I recently went on a long tangent about how there is a possibility that some time during Season of the Lost a Pyramid will appear in the Dreaming City and we will be bringing it down. That Pyramid will then end up in Savathun's throne world which is where we will be going into it for the Witch Queen Raid. Post with the details here.
The rest under the cut because it's long:
The original post was mostly spurred someone asking about Sjur's dream from the lore on Sleepless. The relevant parts:
"I was dreaming," Sjur says, wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. "I saw you on a great black triangle. You split it in two with your bare hands."
"Mm."
"And I was dead, I think." She cracks her neck with a deliciously loud pop. "Or… trapped? Like in a maze. But pretty close to figuring my way out."
"Mhm."
Sjur stands up to stretch. She does not mind that Mara is not listening. Let her read. "And there was another woman with you."
"On the triangle," Mara murmurs.
"Mm. Yeah. She was helping. Then your brother showed up, and…" She shakes out her arms, frowning thoughtfully. The dream is already fading. "He said, 'Tropaea.' Or maybe it was, uh, 'Tropical.' Anyway."
I bolded the most relevant sentences. The original post really wasn't about the whole Pyramid business, but I had to add my thoughts now that we know more than we did back when this lore was released. Not only the stuff I mentioned in the post, but also now we know that Savathun is (allegedly) trying to help us defeat the Black Fleet and the same was said about the reason why Mara wants her Techeuns back.
And I was just re-reading lore, as I do, and I remembered something. The lore book Stolen Intelligence details some of the records made by Ikora's Hidden and other Vanguard agents. Specifically, the page Fragment is what caught my attention. In it, an agent FEN-092 (most likely the one, the only, the man, the legend: Fenchurch Everis) reports a strange incident on the Moon:
2. Around 1900 hours yesterday afternoon, I began to experience a crushing headache and excused myself from patrol to recuperate. Though I originally intended to lay down for a nap, I fell asleep instead, and experienced multiple vivid dreams over the next 11.5 hours. In all of these dreams, I was trying to catch up with agent ERI-223 in a crowd. She was always out of reach, whether by 200 m or 20 m. I had the sense that I needed to speak to her.
3. When I woke, I found that my headache had not improved. I prepared my armor and exited my bivouac to find a single stationary Thrall crouched nearby. It stood as I approached, but made no motion to attack me. I fired one shot, killing it immediately. Upon stepping forward to examine its corpse, I saw a solid black fragment of an unknown material embedded in its chest cavity. The fragment resembled a flake or a shard of some larger object, not dissimilar to a high-gain photovoltaic panel.
ERI-223 is Eris Morn. The fragment was peculiar at the time this was released (Forsaken), but now post-Shadowkeep and post-Beyond Light, we can definitely identify this artifact as a piece of the Pyramid. Fenchurch's Ghost also reports:
5. I requested that my Ghost attempt to contain and transmat the fragment for quarantine on my jumpship. He was unable to establish a Light link with the object, describing the fragment as "slippery" and "tiring" to try to catch hold of.
To me, it is most likely that this is literally a shard of the Pyramid, like those little pieces you can see on Europa when a Pyramid scale ripples. But more important is what follows:
8. At this point, I broke protocol and did not request additional backup. Instead, I picked up the fragment by hand and immediately experienced a vivid hallucination: I stood over VIP #0704's shoulder as she dressed a seven-inch gash on agent ERI-223's thigh. Both #0704 and ERI-223 were dressed for combat. Hundreds of fragments of the unknown material hung in the air around us, apparent shrapnel from the wreckage of a nearby ship of unrecognizable make and model. ERI-223 looked directly toward me and said, "Патетическая."
Obviously none of this made any sort of reasonable sense at the time. But now?
"Hundreds of fragments of the unknown material hung in the air around us, apparent shrapnel from the wreckage of a nearby ship of unrecognizable make and model" is a pretty clear hint at what we now know is a Pyramid ship. Specifically, a wreckage of one.
As we've established, ERI-223 is Eris Morn. Who is VIP #0704? As of now, it is undecided. I've done a bit of a search and most of the guesses are 2 years old and they usually settled on it being Eriana-3 OR Mara Sov. I think it's pretty obvious that it's Mara, if we pair it with the Sleepless lore tab.
But there's another link. The lore book The Dreaming City has a page called Letters. This lore book in general is kinda all over the place and details some lore that doesn't really have a place elsewhere, but it generally revolves around the Awoken and characters adjacent to them. There is a lot about Mara, including information about how Eleusinia and the Oracle Engine were created, as well as her relationship with Riven.
Anyway, in Letters, we see several letters written by Eris to various people, but never delivered. We kinda have to assume a lot here because nothing is explicitly named, but we can for sure say that these letters were written by Eris. To whom? It's up to debate. Some of these seem to be for Mara, one is most certainly for Asher and one is most likely for Ikora. The one I want to focus on is one I can't decide where to place but it features a word we've seen before:
Undelivered, burnt.
Патетическая. The swelling of strong sentiment in your chest even as you mourn the world that is and was and will be. I did not go to Mars. I will not go to the Dreaming City. There is only the plan.
"Патетическая" is Russian and it means "pathetic." I'm thoroughly lost on why this is repeated twice as coming from Eris in two different instances. Truth to Power claims that Eris was born during the Golden Age in Russia, but Stolen Intelligence disproves this. Hm.
Either way, there are several things that seem to fit together in all of this:
1. Destruction of the Pyramid ship (Sleepless, Fragment) 2. Eris and Mara involved with some sort of an ongoing plan (Sleepless, Fragment, Letters) 3. A battle that involves a Pyramid, Eris (who ends up wounded), Mara and Crow (Sleepless, Fragment) 4. Eris saying the same peculiar word seemingly completely out of context (Fragment, Letters)
I want to point out something about the Letters entry. It's not chronological. As in, the entries in that lore page aren't all from the past or current plot from when the lore book was released. Observe the final part of Letters (which released in Forsaken):
Delivered.
I have been inside. I have nothing but beautiful and violent words for my report. I will meet you at your throne.
Lore book Letters from Eris, from Shadowkeep, page Regarding the Pyramid:
[DELIVERED, RECONSTRUCTED.]
It's coming, my Queen.
It's coming for US.
We have been manipulated. We are right where it wants us. The Darkness orchestrated its plan magnificently; the Nightmares were so impeccably calculated to draw us in, make us vulnerable, and leave us exposed.
The Darkness plans to use us. We are to do its bidding. I don't know how to stop it.
I detect no fear on the part of our nemesis. We aren't even a concern. We pose no threat.
The Darkness needs a reason to fear our Light, and I intend to provide it.
I have been inside. I have nothing but beautiful and violent words for my report. I will meet you at your throne.
This makes the entire Letters lore page entirely up for debate.
I believe these entries are connected and that both Fenchurch's hallucination after touching a piece of the Pyramid and Sjur's dream are telling us about the same future event that involves Eris, Mara and a destruction of a Pyramid ship. And I absolutely believe that we will see this at the end of the season, considering there's a downed Pyramid ship in Savathun's throne world. Other connecting details are very confusing for now and may have something to do with Savathun's involvement. After all, she also claims to be interested in fighting back the Black Fleet and ends up in possession of the Pyramid.
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spencersmagic · 3 years ago
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Middle of Adventure - 505 series.
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(found on pinterest).
masterlist // 505 series // taglist
summary: a part two to "greet me with good bye" (found here)
couple: fem reader x spencer reid
category: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: general criminal minds violence, mentions of guns, curse words (f*ck/f*cking), crying.
words: 1.8k
time to read: 10 minutes.
***
It was quite ironic.
The space between them had never felt as empty, as ruined, as it did right now. It felt like the love, the care that they had had for each other all those years back, all the patience and truth they had shared, had been stolen. The woman in front of them had done it for them.
The last two years seemed empty now. Emotionless. Worthless.
The feelings they had for each other had always been unspoken. Excluding a few instances, core instances that needed verbal confirmation, they had always understood each other without having to share a word. They were both profilers, for God’s sake.
Spencer’s fidgeting in the plane rides on the way back from a tough case was always understood by Y/N. She had always made sure to hold him, caress his hair or read to him when he was feeling anxious. Similarly, when she was feeling weird after an uncomfortable encounter with a disgusting unsub, closing in on herself, carrying herself differently, he would always pick up on it. He’d cover her with a blanket and tell her random facts about the stars, or lemons, or the first shoes discovered… Anything that could get her mind away from the filthy words he had spewed at her.
There were no words exchanged between. Because they always knew what the other needed.
Because they cared. And they wanted the other to be okay.
The lack of words didn’t mean a lack of communication. There was constantly a line of communication between the two of them, established through body language, looks and short beginnings of sentences right before the other picked up on what they wanted. Everything was clear between them. They always just knew.
This had taken time. Of course, it had. At first, they were clumsy. Y/N’s anxiety attacks had gone worse once when he had tried to distract her by talking about the climate crisis (a horrible idea, if you ask me). Similarly, she had learned that after Spencer’s rare, but long talks with Hotch weren’t the moment to make sarcastic comments about, well, anything.
All they had was silence and the promise to love the other if they needed it.
But right now, as they stood in front of the unsub, then woman who had been tormenting Spencer for the past few months with little letters, threats and promises to hurt everybody he knew and loved (or at least everybody who was left), it felt like nothing could ever be the same.
She had called herself “The Woman”, which Y/N understood. She wanted to be everything to Spencer.
She stood still, calmly, knowingly. Because nothing he did could change the course of action that was about to occur tonight. The stillness in the weapon she had aimed at Y/N made sure to make that clear.
“Why would I need to break up with her, Clara? Y/N and I aren’t together” Spencer repeated calmly, trying to focus on his training so he could try to ignore the soft sobs that Y/N was letting out.
The gun rattled as Clara shook in anger.
“Bullshit! I’ve seen you together. For God’s sakes, I’ve seen the way you fucking look at her. You-“she laughed manically “You look at her like she’s hung the fucking stars – like you’re supposed to look at me! So don’t you dare fucking lie to me “. She was met with silence.
“You know…” tears welled in her eyes, strong façade faltering. “You were going to come back. We were supposed to meet, and you were supposed to love me like I have all these years. You abandoned me!” she screamed. “And now you’re with-with her”.
Nothing.
“Do it or I will shoot her!” she screamed, sending spit flying around. Flinching, she shakily repeated Clara’s words.
“Do it, Spencer. I can take it” she spoke clearly, forcing her voice to sound unworried.
It was quite ironic. Because they had been in a similar situation at the beginning of their relationship. And it would end like this, too.
“I can’t, Y/N. Y-you know I can’t! Why are you making me do this?!” he raised his voice suddenly, ripping his lungs open as he sunk down onto the floor. He crumbled upon himself as he sobbed. “I can’t. I can’t do it, Y/N.” he repeated over and over, the last bit of self-restraint leaving his body. “I can’t do it. You are everything. I c-can’t hurt” he hiccupped.
Y/N’s eyes absorbed Spencer every little movement and tremble. She felt as though he had kept her heart right up until this moment, bubble wrapped and intact, but now he was crushing it as he hugged himself tightly. It was too much to bear.
“Spencer, if you don’t do it, I will” she whispered. He looked up, tear eyed, and looked at Clara. Her smile was wide now, red nose, enjoying the scene that was unfolding in front of her. Spencer stood up shakily.
“Clara, you were my classmate in school. Having the chance to go to university, don’t you think I had to take it? Did- Didn’t you want what’s best for me?” he tried to reason. “You love me, right? Don’t you want me to be happy?”. She smiled sadly at him.
“I do. But not if it’s with her”.
He turned to Y/N, eyes filled with tears. “Y/N” he requested. Still, she couldn’t bear looking at him. “Y/N! Y/N. Please look at me” he shook. She turned.
“Y/N…” he whispered, taking a look at her, bloody and beaten. “Y/N, I can’t live without you. Since I met you, I haven’t been able to.” He paused. “You’re everything. I don’t how to live without you”.
“Spencer, you will have to learn. The middle of an adventure is such a perfect place to start” she whispered back. His face changed completely, eyes wide and surprised.
**
“Oh god! This is so tedious. When can we leave?” had whispered Reid, curling a lock of her hair around his finger.
“We’re here as guests, Spencer. It would be rude of us to leave” she had reprimanded him, seemingly unaltered by his puppy dog eyes.
“But-but my love” he all-but-whined. “I wanna go home”.
“Yeah? You “wanna go home”? Or are your pants getting a little bit too tight from staring down my top?” she shot back. He didn’t dare reply.
“Do you want to play, or not?” Y/N clarified. He nodded eagerly. She grabbed him by the hair as they slow-danced in the middle of the lounge with the other couples at Rossi’s new wife’s mansion.
She pulled him close, lips close to his ear in such a way that appeared innocent to outsiders. Her words, though, were another story.
“Okay, love. “Adventure” is our safe-word. I’m going to tease you and, the moment I bring up that word in conversation that’ll mean that you’ve done well and should now play along. I’ll make up some excuse and we can leave this god-awful party. Sounds good?” once again, he nodded eagerly.
**
“You know, Clara. Maybe you’re right” Spencer begun, looking into her eyes. “If she’s so okay with letting me go, she clearly doesn’t deserve my time” he swallowed his tears, hoping he was being convincing.
Clearly, Clara didn’t need a lot of convincing. After all, she had been looking for every single indicator in his words and looks in front of the camera to believe he was madly in love with her, and seeking her out.
She lowered the now-forgotten weapon, throwing it on the ground and herself on Spencer.
“You really think so, my love?”
A pet name Spencer had heard coming from Y/N, and had never felt as disgusting as it did in that moment. Spencer couldn’t even think about what it was doing to her.
He just nodded, hugging her back as convincingly as possible.
Sometimes, we do what we can to make our loved ones happy. Sometimes, we stay. Other times, we leave. We give and give for them. At the end of the day, it’s human nature to want to created strong bonds with those you love the most.
Spencer and Y/N weren’t an exception. They gave so much to each other – to their relationship. They loved with such a love that is only seen in movies, with a passion that only occurs during the darkest hours, and a heart that has only been broken and mended over and over.
In retrospection, Clara is no different either.
As Spencer pushed her off, Y/N threw herself to the ground to grab the gun, did a somersault and pointed it at her. Right on cue, Morgan and Prentiss burst into the old warehouse, pointing their guns at Clara.
“Step away from my boyfriend, you bitch”.
**
It felt almost surreal.
Especially to Spencer, who had been battling with the thought of her for the past three months. It felt like this moment would never come – like a breach in the space-time continuum had been formed and he was now experiencing a reality parallel to his own.
But feeling Y/N’s touch, hearing their mutual comforting words, stumbling like their relationship had been, was grounding. Perhaps not comfortable, or stable, of secure just yet. But it sent a message to both of them. “No matter what happens, no matter how many variations exist in your life, I will never be one. I’ll always be here”.
“You were supposed to come back! You were supposed to love me, and give me a beautiful life. Why didn’t you?” they heard Clara screaming. Tears were streaming down her face as the cop sat her down.
“You could’ve sent a letter, Clara” he reached to grab her handcuffs, which were clasped behind her. Y/N watched the entire scene unfold before her eyes, tears still cascading down her cheeks.
“Would that have made any difference?”
“It’s time to go, Ms. Sondermann”.
“Would it? Or would you have stayed with her?”Spencer stayed silent. “Don’t think you’re anything better than me. You did everything for her! Just like I did. You’re no different than me.” she screamed, as Prentiss pulled her away.
Spencer turned to look into Y/S’s eyes. She looked so different when the fear of losing her wasn’t looming around. Tired, of course, from the three day search, but hopeful.
He hadn’t seen her hopeful in so long.
As he closed in on her, looking so purely loving, she immediately understood. the dust settled and she realized just how much he had been through.
She suddenly understood.
**
The lack of words never meant a lack of communication.
There were no words exchanged between. Because they always knew what the other needed.
She spread her arms, ready for his embrace at the same time he ducked his head to hold her around the waist. His lips twitched, all the unspoken words at the top of his tongue.
“i-i know, love. i know” she spoke between sobs.
Everything was clear between them. They always just knew.
**
guys that's the end of the 505 series!!! i hope you liked it.
i'm super sad that it's ending, but the fics i've got in mind are really cool, and i can't wait to write them + share them with you all <3
(im lowkey feeling nostalgic - i've fallen in love with this take on the characters and their dynamic).
taglist: @lady-anon-x @username2002 @eoupe @galaxydefenderjulia @spencerreid-mgg @spenxerslut @urie-bowie-mercury @onyourfingertips @big-galaxy-chaos @fiftyshadesofspencerreid @tbuhgs @exhaleli
tags not working: @huntheimpossible @idontwantyourcookiesthanks
you can join my taglist on the link at the top
happy reading. i love you. stay safe and happy <3
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perriewinklenerdie · 3 years ago
Text
Now you know (Ethan x MC)
Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale
Word count: 1,4 k
Summary: Ethan confesses his love to Claire as she fights for her life after the attack. Set in Chapter 11 of OH2.
Warnings: None
A/N: Big thanks to @adiehardfan​ for requesting this fic. The stars indeed aligned lol. I got a bit emotional in there, some of my other otp addiction influenced it too. Hope you enjoy it :D
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His eyes stung. The feeling was foreign to him, something he hasn’t experienced in such a long time, that he forgot what it felt like. Only after a moment of consideration did he realize that the wetness in his eyes that made him uncomfortable, was caused by tears.
Ethan Ramsey was crying.
Crying for the woman that was stuck on the other side of the glass. Crying for all her dreams that she might never get to make come true. Crying for all the times he pushed her away, believing that it was for the best. Crying for himself, mourning the idiot he’s become. An idiot that might never get the chance to right his wrongs.
He prayed she wouldn’t turn around to look at him. His tears would betray him, betray his weakness – his only weakness. She would look at him and she would know all that he so meticulously tried to hide from her.
He wanted her – she probably knew that.
He needed her – maybe she suspected that.
But there was one emotion, one feeling that overpowered all the others. Kept him up at night. Made his eyes linger on her every spare moment he could find. Love. He was in love with her.
He wants to do this properly. Sweep her off her feet, straight into his waiting and eager arms. And never let her go again. If he ever gets a chance to touch her again, that is.
As he was spiraling deeper into his thoughts, he missed the moment Claire turned around to face him. She did see his eyes glistening, her own widening in horror. She’s never seen him cry, and the fact that he was crying right now terrified her.
His name barely had the chance to brush her lips before he turned around to put his hazmat suit on. As he did so, his eyes rarely left hers. There was a very strong sense of determination written all over his face, anguish lacing with fear. Moments later, he was walking through the decontamination tent and then he was there. By her side. His hand finding hers and squeezing lightly, thumb brushing against the inside of her wrist to check her pulse.
Weak. But it was still there. And that was all he could focus on.
Her body is fragile and unnaturally small in his arms. Her presence, that usually filled any room she was in, is now hugging her closely. Wrapping itself around her, either to help her, or to suffocate her. She seems small, much smaller than Ethan is used to her being, and it sets off all sorts of alarms in his head.
His arms wrap around her gently, bringing her closer. Her head rests on his chest and, for a moment, he forgets where they are and what’s happening. He pretends he doesn’t hear the heart monitor or the sharp intakes of air her constricted chest makes her do. His only focus is her eyes and how they shine despite being dulled and tired, conveying all her brilliance and all her beauty.
“I look awful, huh?” she joked, her laughter turning into a cough. Ethan shook his head, stroking her arm.
“You look beautiful.” He muttered, entirely sure of his every word. All she did was pinch his side.
“That plastic window of your suit must really distort your vision.” Claire fell silent after that, tracing the creases of the plastic covering his chest. “I know I look like crap. You don’t have to lie to appease me, Mr. Sudden Compliment.”
That made him stop. It was no secret that she was a very attractive woman – she knew that very well. But for him, she was so much more than that. He fell in love with her mind first, everything else came after it.
“I’m not lying. You’re beautiful, inside and out. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel overwise.” His covered hand came up to cup her cheek, guiding her until their eyes met. “I’m so sorry, Claire.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Ethan. It’s not your fault Travis couldn’t let his grief go.”
“That’s not… I didn’t mean… “ he stumbled, struggling to find the words. “That’s not what I’m apologizing for.”
‘Then… what is it?”
He held his breath for a long while before exhaling. It’s not how he imagined this moment to go. He didn’t want to tell her that she’s been on his mind, day and night, for so long that he doesn’t remember what it was like to not have her there anymore. Because telling her now was like admitting defeat. And he was far from admitting defeat. But he couldn’t hold it in any longer, and she needed to know how he felt before he lost all the courage he somehow found within himself.
“I’m not good at this whole ‘feelings’ thing, you know? I’m old and I don’t know what I’m doing.” He started slowly, his rant gaining momentum the more he spoke. And she hung onto his every word, fighting a smile that begged to creep onto her face when he called himself old. “It never happened to me before, and certainly not like this. Not this fast, not this strongly, not this… utterly disarmingly.”
“I’m absolutely useless at expressing my emotions.” He continued, lacing their fingers together, wishing that he could feel her fingers – they were always so cold, a complete contrast to his warm ones. “It’s no wonder that you don’t know how much I appreciate you showing me that little restaurant you found. Or how much I look forward to our evening conversations at the end of each day.” He felt his throat closing and the sting returning to his eyes. He was trying not to cry. “Or how you brighten my day with every smile you give me. You may do those things unknowingly, you may not even notice when you do them, but they mean more to me than you could possibly imagine.”
Claire watched him with glassy eyes – she was on the verge of crying herself, her happy laughter coming out as a series of short breaths. She hugged him, her tired arms not reaching further than his waist.
“Everything is better because of you.” Ethan allowed himself one final breath before he revealed it all. “Because I’m in love with you. There’s not a single part of you that I don’t love.”
Her sharp breath stood out against the otherwise quiet room. Their tear-overcame eyes met, neither sure what was happening around them. The sounds of her heart monitor became more frequent, the last confirmation Ethan needed to know that she might be feeling the same way.
“Ethan.” Claire muttered, trying to bring him closer to her. As close as she could, given their current circumstances. “I might be de- “
“You’re not dying.” He cut her off, pulling her fully on top of himself. As he adjusted the blanket so it fully covered her, he wished that he could kiss her. “I’m not letting you go, Claire. I’ve been an idiot this whole time, thinking that I could shelter you from all the bad things in this world. But I can’t.” he pressed his finger to the underside of her chin, making their gazes cross again. “You’re going to survive this. And then I’m going to kiss you. I’ll never stop kissing you if that’s what it takes for you to forgive me for doing this to you. To us.”
There was visible pain in his expression – something she didn’t get to see very often. Only when he lowered his guard, did she see this side of him. The fragile man, trying his best to not get hurt again. Right now, she could see it again, very clearly, and she couldn’t stand the thought of him subjecting himself to such tortures.
“Ethan.” She tried again, touching the side of this helmet. It gave a soft, hollow sound. “I meant that I might be definitely in love with you too.” Her smile accompanied the pure relief that spilled all over his face. “And yes, you’re going to give me all those kisses and more. I want everything, Ethan. With you.”
He looked at her as though she gathered and offered him all the stars in the sky. That’s when the first tear rolled down his cheek, followed by two others. He inhaled sharply, wrapping his arms around her a bit tighter. They would survive this.
Notes
I always get emo with this part of the story. The best chapter of the whole series, hands down. Such a monumental moment, one thing PB did right. It was a pleasure to go back to it.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, see you soon!
Perrie <3
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Note
I'm not sure Gojo has ever even shown an interest to any girls.
He calls Utahime weak and teases her by making fun of her, essentially- which she hates. Mei Mei is incredibly strong and beautiful, and Gojo acknowledges her skill but that's it. I also noticed that in the anime (the manga doesn't have honorifics, so please correct me if I'm wrong) but he calls her Mei-san rather than Mei Mei. Therefore, I don't think he ever tried to get much closer to her than the interactions we've seen. When she asks him if he'd comfort her if she cried, he tells her that's she strong- she wouldn't cry. I thought it was interesting that while Mei Mei's question was slightly flirty, Gojo answered so simply, without any teasing.
He calls Shoko by her first name, which is understandable since they spend more time together being in the same grade. He realizes that her ability is rare and useful, but like with Utahime and Mei Mei he doesn't go any further than that. He mostly speaks to her about work related things and doesn't flirt or tease much at all.
Honestly, I think Gojo actually respects his female colleagues and mostly pokes fun at Utahime because she's so uptight and strict. Shoko and Mei Mei are more relaxed and self-assured, and Gojo recognizes their skills and compliments them for it rather than teasing them. I doubt Gojo really thinks Utahime is truly weak more than he just loves riling her up. Other than that, Gojo's pretty respectful.
Also, in the Hidden Inventory arc, Gojo was bombarded with screaming from all the girls excited to see him. Other than pulling his shades down so they could see his face- after they asked him to, btw- he didn't really do much else. He didn't even react much to the teacher giving him her phone number. His only comment was "what a fun school," and it's interesting to see that while lots of girls do appreciate his looks, he acts only mildly amused.
Other than that one model as his wallpaper, we don't really see Gojo flirt or show interest with anyone. He only really teases Utahime to piss her off- I suspect he hates how much she follows the rules like Nanami does, who he teases often as well. He likely just enjoys annoying people so stern because rules just don't sit well with him (especially because of what those "rules" had done to Geto).
It's just a possibility, but he could be one of those guys who's more interested in work than pleasure- I know, he's handsome, but not all handsome people are players and cheaters. I think that's a horrible stigma and a lot of attractive people irl are judged and criticized solely for their looks. People make too many assumptions on someone just based on their genes, and I think it's pretty shallow to think Gojo's a womanizer just because he's attractive. And he knows he's attractive- but when did being confident in yourself make you a philanderer? Gojo has never used his looks manipulatively at all.
It's definitely a possibility that he would be a womanizer, but I'd say it's unlikely based in what we've seen. To sum it all up, Gojo doesn't show interest in anyone. He teases Utahime often, likely for the same reason be teases Nanami- they're too uptight. Shoko and Mei Mei are both incredibly skilled and beautiful sorcerers, and he does acknowledge and compliment them for it, but he doesn't tease or flirt with them. He's respectful, and he works with them as his colleagues. He didn't get distracted by the teen girls fawning over him either, or suddenly get overtly cocky or show off, only sliding his glasses down so they could see his face, and even then he acted only mildly amused. Also, when Miwa asked him for a picture, he didn't even stay and chat with her or anything (I know she's a minor, but if he truly was a womanizer, he would have at least stayed to hear her compliment him or anything to feed his ego) Maybe ask her "Oh, you want a picture with me? The strongest? How cute~" A flirty comment, a joke, something to fuel his own ego, but he doesn't do that. He doesn't act in a way that conveys he openly pursues attention from women. He just takes the picture with her and walks off casually.
Therefore, other than the fact that he's handsome- and I know many people who would assume things about someone based on their attractiveness, which is a terrible stereotype- Gojo doesn't show much interest in flirting at all. He could be the type of guy who works more than plays- and there's plenty of guys who are handsome but aren't super interested in playing around. Being handsome doesn't automatically mean he's the type to sneak around and have affairs here and there. It's completely realistic for a handsome man to be uninterested in any kind of relationships- not all men are sex crazed, and being a tease to his friends doesn't make Gojo a flirt either. Teasing your friends is perfectly normal.
Therefore, Gojo being a 28 year old virgin is totally possible- not everyone's a sex crazed teen who only thinks about what's between their legs, and basing it on what normal Japanese teens do is unfair. Neither Gojo or his lifestyle is exactly normal, and there's definitely barriers when it comes to experiencing normal youth activities for Gojo's generation- especially Gojo's generation. Yuji's generation definitely has more freedom to do fun things because of what Gojo has done to give the youth more freedom- things he hasn't been able to experience himself in his youth, like playing baseball during the exchange event. That was the first time they ever did something different to tradition, and that was only because of Gojo's consideration.
Gojo's youth was filled with blood, exorcising, and choosing between life and death. The deaths Yuji and co. witnessed were what Gojo experienced as well, if not worse. Gojo's task in his youth was to protect the weak, and he found that burdensome. At least, until Geto betrayed them, and Gojo realized the new burden he had to bear in changing the Jujutsu world because of what it had done to his only best friend.
There are definitely more important things in Gojo's mind than just losing his virginity, like saving people and choosing who to save, whether he should kill or not kill.
Gojo is the strongest, but he also bears the biggest burden- and that burden is something he chose to bear, and being the strongest is something he chose to be. Because before Geto left, it was "We are the Strongest." Now, Gojo worked tirelessly so that he could say "I am the Strongest."
And that's not something you can do while sleeping around. I think a lot of people fail to recognize just how hard Gojo works for himself and others. They just think, oh he's the strongest, so it should be easy for him. But it's really, really not that simple, is it? Especially when you have to do it on your own, and even then Gojo realizes that his strength alone isn't enough to save people. He can't save everyone by himself- It's not enough for just him to be the Strongest, so he works diligently to build and inspire his students to stand with him.
He's actually a very deep and emotional man who cares about his students and especially, even now, his best friend. Everything he does is for their sake- he sacrifices the normal life he could have lived, like Nanami had done, for their sake. And he fights with the higher ups, takes the brunt of their ire, and laughs it off, acting as if he fine, like a dad pretending he's superman for his kid's sake. But Gojo is burdened, and he's tired, and he hardly sleeps, and he has the most missions- he's the Strongest, which means everyone needs him, and he bears it.
Sorry for ranting again tho. I think I went into two different topics lol oops- 🤔
OUR SAVIOR 🤔 EDUCATING PEOPLE pay attention ya'll another thing I've noticed in the latest episode is that in his phone contacts he actually writes Utahime's name properly like formally no emojis or teasing shit he actually sees them as his colleagues people he can rely on his field of work and yes about the whole thing when he bursted into riko's class man was absolutely clueless just silent as a teacher tries to give him his number. I'm pretty sure as a child Gojo wasn't allowed to attend public schools due him being in danger or putting others in danger so he doesn't know much about public schools or normal people in general since he spends all his time with people from the jujutsu society.
That is definitely true just because someone is good looking that doesnt mean he's some cheap womanizer. I see a lot of people shipping him and Utahime together which is understandable ship who you like but I don't think Gojo as any ulterior motives like wooing Utahime by teasing her he just is plainly teasing ya know like friends do but in this case Utahime hates his guts and he doesnt know. I mean it takes some amount of hate to try to throw hot tea at someone 😂
While certainly I agree Gojo's teen like wasn't the best it was like he literally had a full time job at that age but who's to stay he didn't go messing around one time? I'm sure during his teen days he wanted to experience things he didnt get to to but now could because he lives on his own now. But maybe he didnt at all who knows? Which also raises another question, I wonder if he has any romantic experiences? And this was all before what happened in the hidden inventory arc after that I can see him more becoming invested in his duty and with what happened with geto as well would of definitely had a huge impact on him to try harder even though hes the strongest so that the next generation wouldn't have to experience the things he went through.
It's really sad if you really think about it what hes been through and what he has to shoulder all while keeping the facade that he's okay, I bet there were times he cursed his powers and his life....but he bears with it anyways because everyone is counting on him....
And don't be sorry at all! I am actually really learning alot about Gojo from you. Please continue to tell us your thoughts and feelings. I don't mind at all ❤ and thank you for taking the time to write 💕
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