#I’ve listened to a season and a half of this in two days and i don’t plan to slow down.
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delphiniumjoy · 7 months ago
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You know, there is one thing that gives me gender euphoria: dichotomy.
Which is to say that Juno Steel calling himself a lady feels just about right.
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verareids · 5 months ago
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feel the same - s.r. x bau!reader
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spencer misunderstands a conversation he overhears between reader and derek. tags/cws: misunderstandings, confessions of feelings, use of 'y/n', gn!reader, fluff, mild angst, derek morgan has big brother energy wc: 1708 (much longer than I thought lmao) a/n: I'm truly obsessed with season 1 spencer as of late so I HAD to write a fic with him in mind. <3
also posted on ao3
“You know Pretty Boy likes you, don’t you?”
Spencer had been trying to get some sleep on the flight back after working a case that had drained all his energy when the sound of Morgan’s voice caught his attention. Without opening his eyes, he knew exactly who he was talking to. Spencer had never outright admitted to anyone that he had developed feelings for you but it was getting harder to deny. Once Derek had started pointing out the way he’d look up when you entered a room or the way his eyes lingered as you walked away, he was becoming concerned that this crush was more obvious than he’d like it to be. 
He’s been trying to ignore it, telling himself it’s unprofessional when really it’s because he believes there’s no way you could possibly feel the same. There’s a myriad of reasons why he wished Derek would keep his big mouth shut but honestly – that was probably the biggest.
“Likes me? How old are we?” The smooth sound of your response makes Spencer smile to himself in spite of the current situation. 
“(Y/N), come on…” Derek chuckles and is immediately met with a long stretch of silence. Spencer can picture the death glare he knows he’d see on your face if he were to look at you in this moment. “Look, you know he’s never gonna ask you out himself so maybe you should just–”
“Derek.” You interrupt with an evident sternness in your tone. “I’m not having this conversation with you. I’ve told you, it’s not happening.” Ouch. Spencer had never allowed himself to dream that you would reciprocate his feelings but he definitely wishes he had been asleep for that one. With that, he forces his eyes shut tighter than before and takes in one deep, slightly shaky breath and decides to try to go back to sleep, if only so that he doesn’t have to hear you reject him even harder.
~
Spencer wakes up as the jet is landing and he quickly gathers all of his things, walking out and across the strip with much more urgency than usual. This detail doesn’t go unnoticed by you, not much does – especially where Spencer is concerned – and you make a mental note to check in with him later. He had caught your eye the first day you met him which must be, what? Half a year ago now? And he had been on your mind ever since. You had bonded quickly as friends, being the two youngest members on the team. About a month ago you had finally allowed yourself to acknowledge the fact that you had developed feelings for him. You’d sit next to him at any given opportunity, listen to his infamously long rants much longer than anyone else would, spend just a little too long staring at his lips as he talked you through his theories. It didn’t take long for people to notice. Elle had her suspicions, JJ made a comment every now and then, but Derek – he wouldn’t let it go. He teases you about it constantly. You haven’t given him the satisfaction of admitting it, you haven’t been able to deny it either.
When you eventually make your way into the building along with the rest of the team you notice that Spencer had already left. It’s only then you start to be concerned. It’s unlike him to leave in such a hurry, even more so to not even say goodbye. You rack your brain trying to come up for a reason for this strange behavior. Is he sick? Upset about something? Was it you? You begin to go over every interaction you’d had with him recently when you have to stop yourself before you spiral. He’s just tired. If it was serious he’d tell you… right?
~
The next morning you walk in to find Spencer at his desk working on the report he didn’t write last night before he had basically ran away.
“Morning, Spence!” You greet him, making an effort to sound cheerful as you lean on his desk. He doesn’t look up, like he’s trying extra hard to look busy.
“Morning, (Y/L/N).” He replies without looking up. His tone seems normal, his use of your last name is what sounds the alarms in your head.
“Hey… are you feeling alright?” You ask tentatively, not wanting to pry too much in case you really had done something wrong that you clearly weren’t aware of. “I noticed you kind of left in a hurry last night.” He finally looks up and meets your eyes, easing your nerves slightly. His eyes shift away and then back to yours before a soft smile graces his lips, one that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“I’m okay.” He responds after a while in a way that sounds like that’s not all he wants to say. You go to reassure him, make sure he knows he can tell you anything, but stop yourself when you notice the way he tenses when you place a hand on his shoulder. Retracting your hand quickly, you begin to fidget with your fingers before running them through your hair nervously.
“Spencer… I–” You start and stop and Spencer feels a little guilty as you seem to stumble over your words anxiously. “Is it me? Did I do something? Because if I did I–”.
“(Y/N).” Spencer cuts off your panicked rambling. You take a steadying breath as he slowly rises to stand in front of you, your eyes trailing up when he towers over you. He looks around the room and sighs before focusing back on you. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” You nod and begin walking towards a storage room with Spencer following close behind, quickly checking that there's no one in there before stepping inside.
“What’s going on with you?” You break the silence as Spencer closes the door behind him. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
“I’m sorry if I’ve been acting weird.” You notice the way he dodges the question. He can’t meet your eyes anymore, his gaze shifts around the room and he smiles awkwardly at you.
“Spence, that’s not–” You interrupt yourself, trying to find a way to put your thoughts to words without overwhelming him. “I only want you to be okay. You’ve been acting differently since last night… If there’s something going on I want to be there for you.” When you say that he smiles sadly. He looks down in thought as if he’s considering something.
“I heard you talking to Morgan…” He mumbles, still staring at his feet – wringing his hands together. You furrow your brows in confusion. Talking to Morgan? “On the jet on the way home…”
“Oh.” This isn’t happening. You figure you should’ve known Derek’s relentless teasing would be your downfall. He must know you like him now. There’s a reason you never wanted him to know how you felt. You couldn’t stand the thought of anything ruining your friendship. Spencer visibly deflates even more in front of you at your lack of response. You begin scrambling to come up with a way to get out of this horrifically embarrassing situation.
“Look, I– I didn’t mean to make this awkward…” Oh god. The way he’s stuttering and tripping over his words. You stare blankly at him, then duck your head, bracing for the impact of his rejection. “It’s not like I thought you would feel the same way I just–” Wait what? Your head snaps back up to see his face, eyes widened, which seems to startle him a little. “I wasn’t going to say anything but I guess I just got really in my head about it.” He begins to look a little panicked. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry if I did.” You just keep staring up at him, mouth agape in disbelief. “(Y/N)?” He says your name with a sad desperation and it reminds you that you should respond.
“Sorry, I–” You say slowly while shaking your head. “Are you saying that – Do you like me?” Now it’s Spencer’s turn to look confused, but it was all starting to make sense to you. You had thought he was acting weird because he had found out about your feelings, when in reality, it was the other way around.
“Yes?” He replies hesitantly.
“I like you too.” You say simply with a shy smile but Spencer looks completely taken aback. 
“You do?” The way his eyes light up with a subtle excitement was adorable. Soon after, that look was replaced with skepticism. “But I thought— you told Morgan you didn’t like me.”
“I told Morgan to stop teasing me about you because I didn’t think this…” You gesture between the two of you. “Was ever going to happen.” Spencer let out a sigh of relief and smiled bashfully.
“You could have just told me.” You feel his eyes scanning your face as if he were still looking for proof that you weren’t messing with him.
“You didn’t tell me either.”
“I thought there was no way…” You make eye contact as he trails off in thought. “I guess it doesn’t matter now.” Spencer takes a tentative step closer to you but doesn’t move to touch you in any way, so you reach out to take his hands in yours, lacing your fingers together.
“Well… maybe if we don’t have to fly out for a case today, we could go to dinner tonight?” You’re staring down at your intertwined hands, squeezing once before looking back up. When you see his face he’s still looking down with a big dopey grin on his face and you can’t help but smile right back.
“Yes— definitely.” You giggle at his obvious enthusiasm. 
You both stay in the storage room for another couple minutes, mostly just staring starry eyed at each other. Eventually you both decide that you should get back to work. You try to hide whatever was now going between you as much as you can but like always, Derek Morgan figures you out within minutes and he, along with the rest of the team, teases you relentlessly. (You wouldn’t have it any other way.)
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silverfairywings · 1 month ago
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— IN THE WAKE OF FLAMES. PT II
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eris vanserra x reader
summary: even before you became fae, your favourite season was autumn. it’s a little hard to hide this when your least favourite newly appointed high lord has made it his life’s mission to be the most annoying male in your life.
a/n: this one’s really long sorry!! not proofread and I’ve decided it’s going to be incredibly slow burn… send ur thoughts, and if you want to be in the tag list please send an ask instead as I’m more like to see it :)
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You make the mistake of breathing in deeply through your nose as you walk through the meadow of the Spring Court, the crisp air and smell of wildflowers tickling its way into your nostril and forcing a sneeze out of you.
The long stems of grass, wet with morning dew and brushing against your calves are like little needles poking your skin. The itching sensation in your nose caused by the sheer amount of flowers makes your eyes water and all you can think about is the relentless urge to sneeze over and over again.
“I don’t think there’s a single living thing within 50 miles that hasn’t scurried away,” Rhysand says, as if he’s commenting on the weather. You open your mouth to respond, but before you can even form the words on your lips, the thought vanishes as the tickle flares up in your nose again and another sneeze explodes from you. “I think that was sneeze number nineteen and we’ve only been here fifteen minutes.”
“I can’t help it. How does anyone live amongst all of this greenery without wanting to scratch their faces off?” you ask, sniffling pathetically. “And how long before the others arrive? Surely counting my sneezes is below the duties of a High Lord.”
“Most Fae don’t suffer with your affliction. It’s probably something to do with how you were Made,” Azriel adds, not unkindly. He stands slightly further away from you, Rhys and Nesta and if it weren’t for his shadows, you’d have thought he was too preoccupied with keeping watch to listen in. “And it’s sneeze number eighteen actually.”
Nesta narrows her eyes, peering behind Azriel and then sighing in relief. “Thank the Mother,” she mumbles. “Took them long enough. If I had to hear another word about your damned nose…”
You sniff loudly to make a point. You’re about to reply until you spot the two figures in the distance, walking towards the three of you at a deliberately unhurried pace. You first recognise Helion, the morning rays of sun setting his skin aglow as though his powers commanded them to; you wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually doing as much to make a fashionable entrance. The charming grin he shoots your ways is contagious and you can’t help returning it until your focus shifts to the person beside him and you try not to let your face drop.
Even half-shielded from view, the sight of Eris sets your teeth on edge. His tall, lean frame sharply contrasts with the brightness of the meadow, his deep mahogany tunic making him stand out further amongst the flowers. The way he walks with such easy arrogance and moves with an infuriatingly casual stride as though he just belongs there makes your skin prickle with irritation.
Eris’ sharp amber eyes sweep across the group until they land on you for a short moment, a flicker of recognition and something else you don’t care to analyse in his gaze before he turns back to Rhys. The brief looks feels like a challenge and you feel your irritation growing, so you wrench your gaze away from him and focus on Helion instead.
“My, what a pleasant little group we’ve compiled,” the High Lord of Day says, tone pleasant and amused as always. He tilts his head, considering. “Morrigan wasn’t available?”
“She’s with Feyre, Elain and Tarquin,” Rhys responds with a roll of his eyes, but his faint smile tells you he’s pleased to see Helion, rather than annoyed. Nesta looks as though she wants nothing more than to go home, and Azriel looks impassive as always. “They’re covering the border on the East side.”
“Lovely group all the same,” Helion hums, winking at you, teasingly. You shake your head at him, smiling despite yourself. “Shall we?”
Gesturing ahead of you all, Helion starts walking and the rest of you follow, but not before Eris catches your gaze again and raises an eyebrow in question. Your cheeks warm and the smile you had previously given Helion starts to slip, but Eris looks away and walks ahead before you can fully react. The few seconds at a time that you engage in eye contact with the male have you assessing how his expression is sharper than it previously was.
His hair is shorter, you realise. The fiery red strands are no longer draping down his back, instead the ends are no longer than his shoulders, the tips just brushing against his collarbones. The previously long front pieces have been cropped short, his hair no longer looking long enough to tie back in a braid without falling back.
It’s almost as though there’s now nothing to soften the intensity of his gaze every time it passes over you and if that weren’t enough to unsettle you, it’s the realisation that you’re paying more attention to Eris’ hair than to the main reason you’re here in the first place.
Diplomatic relationships had greatly improved between Tamlin and the rest of the High Lords after many years of healing after the war. The Spring Court, while nearly restored to its former glory, had become the target of some recent attacks near the borders. Thus, Tamlin had requested the assistance of the other courts, with the exception of no outside help, ever the paranoid High Lord. Unfortunately, that excludes the security of the soldiers you’ve grown accustomed to, which has you looking over your shoulder every few minutes.
You knew Eris had agreed to help, but you weren’t aware he’d be in such close quarters. Well, as close as he could be with you walking right next to Nesta at the back of the group as she twisted and turned the hem of her dress keep it from getting caught on all the foliage.
“Remind me why we agreed to this,” she mutters under her breath, not quietly enough.
Rhysand throws a look over his shoulder while walking. “Because Tamlin requested our help,” he answers, his tone carefully neutral. “And we have a responsibility to agree to reasonable requests from other High Lords. If not to keep the peace between the Courts, then to ensure whatever’s happening doesn’t become a larger problem for the rest of us.”
“You know Tamlin’s not here, right?” Eris drawls, sardonically. “Meaning we don’t have to act like we actually like him.”
“What, the same way we act like we like you?” you mumble, unable to stop the words from escaping. You wince when Nesta snorts loudly, hiding her laughter in her hand. Even Azriel’s lips quirk up.
Eris finally looks over at you properly this time with a faint smirk, tilting his head. “You wound me, darling,” he says, his voice a silky challenge that you know from experience is daring you to push him further. “But I wouldn’t expect any less from you.”
You force yourself to meet his eyes, physically unable to back down now that he’s spoken. It’s as though he flips a switch of irritation in you every time he talks, yet you never learn your lesson. It’s something to do with the amusement in his gaze, as if he enjoys your quick retorts that really gets under your skin.
“And you’re irritating as always,” you say, sighing as though you’re delivering unfortunate news. You look away, dismissively as you walk a little faster in an attempt to catch up to Nesta, from whom you’ve fallen behind. “But none of us would expect anything less from you.”
Eris continues walking at a leisurely pace, still closer to you than you are to Nesta and the others. Damn these stupid long-stemmed flowers.
A couple of them are particularly overgrown, the pollen seeming to waft right up into your nose and setting you off sneezing again. One particularly violent sneeze sends you stumbling and the world spins for a split second. Before you can hit the ground, a firm hand grips your elbow and pulls you upright, causing your back to bump against a solid chest.
You steady yourself and spin around to come face to face with Eris. His hand lingers on your arm, amber eyes glinting with amusement when you glance down, frowning before you yank it out of his grip. “I don’t need your help.”
“Clearly,” he replies drily, but doesn’t comment any further, taking a step back while keeping his eyes on you. His unwavering gaze makes you freeze, and it’s like he can sense your confusion as his lips quirk up. Bizarrely, he doesn't seem to be making fun of you, instead he just looks as though you’re both engaged in your usual banter and he’s enjoying it.
“Keep up, children,” Helion’s voice from ahead snaps you out of it and you step away, smoothing down your clothes and rushing forward to catch up with the others.
Before you looked away though, you caught Eris’ expression being schooled back into his usual aloof demeanour. It unsettles you, but you push the thought away as Nesta tilts her head at you in questioning. You shake your head slightly and smile reassuringly in answer, but her eyes narrow a little in suspicion.
The further you venture into the forest, the more your head clears, away from the pollen in the meadow, indicating you’re close to the border. The large trees offer you a welcome shade and you take a deep breath.
You’re grateful when you’re unable to sense any oncoming sniffling, but something else starts to tug at the edges of your awareness. It starts off as subtle and you brush it off, but the closer you get to the edges of the forest and nearer to the border, the stronger it becomes.
Rhys calls for a halt when you’ve reached your destination and your feet start to walk you to the walls of magic on their own accord. No one stops you, but they watch warily as you close your eyes, trying to understand what you’re sensing.
It’s took a while to come to terms with the abilities thrust upon you by the Cauldron, the ability to detect and absorb other people’s magic. You felt confident enough to distinguish what you felt from the magic of the people around you and it makes you exhale shakily.
“What is it?” Rhys murmurs, voice sharp but quiet as not to disrupt your concentration. You don’t need to sense anything else though, and so you turn around and shake your head.
“Fae magic,” you answer, slightly underwhelmed. “Just regular, old Fae magic. I don’t think there’s anything sinister here.”
The group all seem to visibly relax slightly, although Azriel’s shadows are still flitting around him like a flock of birds, some venturing out to explore and then returning to whisper at his ears. “Whoever was here has gone now. It’s just us.”
“What does it feel like?” Nesta asks, directing the question to you. She’s referring to the magic, knowing you can usually detect a type of feeling with each strain. “How dangerous?”
“It’s not that it’s dangerous,” you explain, feeling the weight of everyone’s expectant gazes. “It’s more angry than anything. And there’s so many of them, all with slightly different undertones.”
“Ah, how wonderful,” Helion remarks, cheery demeanour never slipping. “A large group of angry Fae with the nerve to attack the borders of a known crazed High Lord. Not dangerous in the slightest.”
You send him a withering stare, with no real heat in it. Rhysand ignores him, glancing back at the rest of you. “We should split up for a while. If something feels off, send out a message and we can regroup. Stay alert.”
You all nod, about to wander off until Helion catches everyone’s attention when he starts to literally glow.
The forest is darker where you all stand and it looks even more concealed further ahead so you aren’t surprised he’s doing as such, but the bright light is nearly blinding.
Eris scowls, the flames swirling around his own hands giving just enough illumination without drawing attention. “Why not just send out a beacon to alert everyone to our exact location?”
Helion frowns, glancing at Rhys who, surprisingly, just shrugs. The High Lord of Day sighs dramatically. “Fine,” he cedes, dimming his light slightly. “Happy, little Lord?”
“Ecstatic,” he deadpans, walking off without another word. The rest of you follow suit, going in opposite directions to inspect the border for signs of anything.
You’ve only been walking around for a few minutes alone, trying to feel unique differences in the magic that lingers around you, still fresh. It’s harder than you thought it would be and you’re so frustrated that you let your guard down.
You don’t hear the snap of the twig, but from the corner of your eye, you catch movement and reach for the dagger by your hip instinctively, spinning round toward the source. You swing the dagger out in front of you in a defensive position, just to see that it’s Eris emerging from behind a tree, his amber eyes glinting with amusement.
“Did I startle you?” he drawls, his tone dropping with feigned innocence.
Scowling, you sheathe your blade. “Do you enjoy sneaking around like that? Or do you just have an unhealthy desire to annoy me?”
Eris raises his eyebrows and his smirk deepens like you’ve just said something extremely entertaining. “Well, it’s a talent really, but what was that about desire? Because, that-”
“Stop,” you sigh, wanting nothing less than to hear out the rest of that sentence. “Just… go away and let me focus on this magic.”
You turn away from him and shut your eyes in concentration, but it doesn’t work as you dont hear him move. Knowing Eris is standing there watching you is doing nothing to help, and you’re about to say so when he speaks first.
“How do you know it’s not just mine or Helion’s magic you’re sensing?” he asks, seemingly serious. You frown at him, thinking he’s joking.
“Well, I have met the two of you before,” you reply, injecting your voice with as much sarcasm as possible. “I know what your magic feels like.”
“And?” Eris tilts his head in question. “What does it feel like?”
“Helion’s magic feels bright, awake and fresh and yours feels…” Inviting, warm, strong. You don’t say anything, because you can’t really explain what you sense in his magic as you still don’t fully understand it. Why you’re drawn to it the same way you would be drawn to jumping into a pile of autumn leaves outside your home as a child. You swallow, looking away. “Different.”
It’s not unusual for you to gravitate to certain magical auras, but it’s only ever been towards close friends, family, some select strangers with whom you had a kind word, for example.
Thankfully, Eris doesn’t push. Annoyingly, however, he changes the subject. “Have you considered my mother’s invite to come and visit Autumn?”
“Shush!” you hiss at him, shooting a glance over your shoulder to see if any of the Inner Circle are nearby. The last thing you need is for them to overhear your conversation. It would lead to an unbearable series of questions, interrogations and endless teasing.
Eris’ chuckle is soft, taunting. “Why so nervous, darling? Afraid your friends will finally put two and two together and realise how you truly feel about their beloved court?”
The mental image of Rhys being disappointed in you makes you feel physically sick. He took you in, gave you a place to be free and opened up his home to you. All for you to go and feel like you don’t even belong? Your chest tightens and you decide you could never do that to him. You glare at Eris and attempt to keep your voice steady. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Liar,” he drops his voice down to a whisper. “Would it really be so bad if your High Lord knew the truth?”
You swallow the rising panic in your body, the fear that he’s going to use your insecurities that only he can sense to his advantage. You close the distance between the two of you and your voice is low and sharp as you speak. “What the hell do you want from me, Eris?”
Eris’ expression falters slightly, like you’ve taken him by surprise for a split second. “What?”
“What could you possibly want from me?” you let out a derisive laugh, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “Do you enjoy holding things over me? Because I can’t think of anything I could give you that you don’t already have. So, if you are blackmailing me for something, then I’d prefer if you just came out with it already.”
The words spill out of you with an intensity that you’ve bottled up since you last argued with Eris, but your anger dims slightly when you realise he’s no longer looking amused. Instead, he stares at you with a blank expression and it’s somehow worse than if he were insulting you.
You realise just how close you had gotten to him only when he steps back slowly, as though wanting to draw your attention to the lack of space, snapping you out of whatever furious trance you were in.
A moment passes before he allows himself to give you a faint smirk, but his jaw is clenched and his eyes flicker with something you can’t figure out. “We should get back to your precious High Lord.”
You open your mouth to say… something. You aren’t even sure what there’s left to say, especially since the whole interaction has left you more unsettled than ever. “I-”
“Keep your guard up, Archeron,” he just says, cutting you off before turning around to walk away without sparing you another glance.
tag list: @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @abysshaven @nayaniasworld @rcarbo1 @paleidiot @tenshis-cake @bunnyredgirl
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mikeystrawberry · 10 months ago
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Today is Dungeons & Daddies’s 5th Anniversary!
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I haven’t been listening for nearly that long but the podcast and all its characters means a lot to me. Happy Anniversary!!!
Throwing the cropped sections under the cut because there’s a lot of stuff going on and I know Tumblr likes to throw half the pixel quality out the window. And also so I can ramble a bit about this piece!!!
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This piece has been months in the making, possibly an entire year. And by that I mean I’ve had a sketch of the comp scribbled on my whiteboard for ages because I wanted to save this specifically for 5th anni art. Now onto design stuff!
(First off a random thought: I really love how the garlic knot came out, I kind of want it as an enamel pin.)
I knew I wanted to make this a stained glass piece since the beginning, but I was also going to add flowers at one point but quickly dropped the idea. It felt like too much and I also didn’t want to fuss over flower language assignments for everyone. I was also going to add Doodler tentacles, but also dropped that idea pretty early. Kind of on accident, right at the end, I figured out how to make it even more stained glass-like but taking a duplicated lineart underneath the regular layer and turning the brightness all the way down, then setting it to overlay and adding a guassian blur. It’s very subtle but it adds that tiny bit of depth that makes it look more real. As for shading on the lineart/gold, I tried adding more highlight on the characters who died but once I evened everything out it wasn’t as noticeable anymore so I’m throwing that thought here so the attempt at least known lol.
The order of characters only changed a little bit from my original comp, I flipped the Wilsons and the Oaks so the rainbow could work. As for the anchors, specifically in season 2, I lined them up to the teens since the season 1 anchors lined up with each dad:
Tony —> Scary: his death was the beginning of Scary’s betrayal arc and also Willy killed him.
Guitar Pick —> Taylor: it’s not really aligned with Taylor at all, but the anchor was with Glenn so I put it next to his blunt.
Scroll —> Normal: was only because it was the last left to give him, but there’s the whole scene of him and Hermie in the Green Room so it still works!
Garlic Knot —> Link: one of two that he broke, but the more significant of the two with him telling Grant he never wants to see him again.
Small notes on the season 1 anchors: I put the layer of mold in the overnight oats but you can’t really tell with the overlay. And to make the supper bowl more interesting I added the fantasy sodas mix they dumped into it. The lure of actually drawn before so I just traced my own art lol.
As for the other smaller triangles, it took me a bit to figure out what I wanted to put there. I didn’t even think of adding the vehicles until two days ago but I’m so glad I did. I don’t really have my own take on the mascot version of the Doodler (yet?) so I borrowed the design from one of the stickers in their merch shop. Teeny was terrifying as just a front facing head so I made him cute again.
In the outer circles, I put what I felt was the most significant quotes for each family. I really wanted to use “It’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to be cruel” but it was just a little too long.
That’s all I can think of! If you read all the way through, thank you for indulging me in my excitement to gush over this piece.
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munsster · 4 months ago
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Hi I just read fixer user and I loved it! I was wondering if you could do a part 2 💖💖
an act of true love
A/N: (your pfp made me scream and curl my toes) an unexpected amount of ppl rlly enjoyed this dynamic. i suppose i have found my people 🤭 (gif creds: @kingofscoops)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader (Season 3)
Summary: In the dead of winter, there’s absolutely nothing that could keep you warm. After all, only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart. 1.5k words
Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, pet names (sweetheart), mention of toxic ex boyfriend, cursing, gross flirting
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Steve can hear you shivering through the receiver and your stuttered breaths crackling through the cord. You’re begging him to come over and fix your radiator in the middle of a snow storm. The roads aren’t closed yet, but a thin white powder blankets his front lawn and the top of his beemer and he can see the flakes whipping through the stream of light pouring from the streetlamp. So, he piles every blanket he has into his passenger seat and braves the drive to your house.
Does he know how to repair a busted radiator? No.
Is he determined to do anything you require of him? Every single day for the rest of his life.
He’s crouched by the window of your living room, looking for any telltale signs of wear or leaking. You’re standing just behind him, bundled in two blankets and holding a spare flashlight. He’s quiet as he tinkers, but your mind is racing watching his soft toned arms through his cream thermal and his back muscles working when he turns over his shoulder to glance at you with a dashing smile. You nod quickly when he says something, though you’re not exactly sure what.
“Sweetheart?” he coos, raising his brows when you recoil under his gaze.
“Sorry, I didn’t… I wasn’t listening,” you say with a chuckle. He grins, dropping his head in understanding.
“Sorry, I know it’s boring,” he says, “but has it been making noises or anything?”
“Oh, yeah! It kinda groans when I first turn it on and it sounds like it might explode for the first couple minutes. I guess I’ve tuned it out by now.”
“That’s probably not a good sound then,” he teases, turning back to the radiator with a puzzled look.
“No, probably not.” You shuffle off to the kitchen, setting a kettle on the stove and humming softly.
After half an hour of tinkering and a roll of tape, Steve stands and wipes his hands on his jeans.
“That should do it! It’ll probably take a sec to heat up again,” he sighs, and you emerge from the kitchen, balancing two hefty mugs brimming with whipped cream. “Ooh, what’s this?”
“Hot cocoa. Secret family recipe,” you tease. In actuality, it’s just the standard package of chocolate powder and sugar. The secret lies in the healthy dash of cinnamon you mix into it.
“Secret, eh? Guess that gives me a reason to come see you more often,” he hums, following you to the couch and taking one of the mugs from your hands. It warms him up nicely, and he knows you gave him the bigger mug on purpose when you smile triumphantly. He takes a sip, moaning at the sweetness. You giggle at the whipped cream kissing his top lip.
“I hope I’m reason enough,” you say with a faux pout. He sits close enough to share the pile of blankets with you, your thighs pressed against one another in the captured heat.
“Duh, you’re the main attraction,” he huffs, “Your hot chocolate is like the flashy side show. It’s pretty neat but not quite as cool as the reason you bought the ticket.”
You giggle into your mug, face hot in the bellowing steam. Or because of his dimpled cheeks. Or the way his eyes swoop over your face. Or maybe the way he came rushing to your rescue in a storm without a second thought.
“Any new Brad-related developments? Or is he still giving you shit?” he says, swallowing a warm gulp of liquid chocolate.
You groan, head lulling back against the couch. “He keeps calling to say I’m a cold hearted bitch and then immediately hang up. I think he forgot that he’s the one who broke up with me.”
“Right, right. Why’s that again?”
“Something about his family’s values. And how he hates my friends,” you say, “I just remember getting mad because he seemed so jealous and mistrusting. Honestly, in hindsight, he was really childish about the whole thing.”
You shrug it off, but it snaps his heart in two all over again. He doesn’t even want to know the gorey details because he knows it’ll boil his blood. Just knowing that asshole said something like that to you makes his fists ball up in frustration. But he thinks of what you said. What did Brad have to be jealous about; he had the entire world and Steve never bat an eye. Not to you, at least.
“Jealous?” Steve asks.
“Yeah, he’d give me all these ultimatums where I’d have to choose between you and him. So random,” you huff. Though, maybe he was justified in some way. You and Steve have been this close since the day you met. Any love interest would feel threatened by his charm and that smile.
“Oh… weird”—He watches you take a cautious sip from your mug like maybe you regret saying anything at all—“Yeah. That’s random. Had no idea I posed such a threat to that guy. He seemed so… self-assured.”
You stare blankly, shrugging when you mutter, “you can call him a narcissistic prick, i don't care. And yeah, I was kinda surprised the first time he brought it up, because a big part of why I was attracted to him was for his confidence” you chuckle, “No idea what went wrong!
Steve absentmindedly squares his shoulders, sitting up straught on the plush cushions trying to make himself look strong and reliable and confident. You sip your hot chocolate and look at him funny.
“Are you okay?” you say, holding in a laugh.
He nods. “Oh, yeah. I’m just super confident ‘s all.”
You snort, choking on the sip you’d sucked down, pinching your eyes closed when he lurches forward with a worried look slapped across his face.
“Shit, here, let me help,” he huffs, setting his mug aside and wiping the drips from your chin with his sleeve, “Oh, god, are you hurt???”
You cackle with tears pricking in your eyes when he carefully takes your mug and places it next to his. You pat dry your neck, and he watches you softly.
“Stevie, you’re so sweet.”
His heart flutters in his warm chest when you smile at him.
“Well, I dunno about that.”
“No, seriously. You’re so caring and thoughtful, I’ve never met anyone like you,” you whisper.
He takes a shaky breath in.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
You nod heartily and grin wide, and you notice he’s staring at you. So you kick his calf under the blanket.
“Hey, ouch!”
You giggle, but he’s quick to grab the crook of your knee and tug you close so you’re laying flat on the couch. Your hands cover your face when he tickles your sides and leans over you playfully. He’s almost glad you can’t see him blushing or feel his heart racing or hear his head booming with thoughts of you. He gasps when you plant your socked foot on his thigh, but he holds your elbow gently to keep you close to him while he leans over you.
You’re laughing, and he can confidently say it’s his favorite sound. You palm his chest, and he takes a deep breath in. Your eyes flick open because you’ve never felt someones heart beat so fast and so warm just beneath your fingertips. He’s flushed and pink but he looks like a prince in the orange lamplight. And he’s so close to you.
Your fingers curl into the collar of his shirt, barely grasping, and you crane your neck towards him. You watch his honey eyes draw over your lips just before he leans in and kisses you.
His hand molds into your side, melting over the exposed skin like hot syrup. You press into his hold and smile with your fingers drawing up and across the back of his neck.
But the kiss short lived when he pulls away, shoving a hand through his ruffled hair.
“Sorry, sweetheart,” Steve huffs, standing and backing away, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I should go!”
He crosses the floor in a daze, forcing his feet back into his shoes before you even can sit up and call after him.
“Steve, wait!”
But he’s shaking his head and reaching for the ice cold door handle with his jacket barely slung over his shoulders. He whips the door open, and you can see the pure white snow floating down in sheets outside.
“Keep the blankets! Just call me if the radiator breaks again, and I’ll see you!”
The door slams shut.
You tut, hand coming to your lips as you look around at the scene before you. The abandoned mugs on the coffee table, his blankets folded over the back of the couch, your repaired radiator whirring softly in the corner. The absence of Steve. What would the kids say. You know they’d lose it, but would they be upset if you ended up together. Would they realize they changed their minds and you’d jeopardized not only your friendship with Steve but with the entire party.
What if everything changes?
Oh, but what if nothing changes: you and Steve tip toeing around each other, the kids scheming and giggling at your misfortune, but now changed by the fact that you’ve kissed Steve. And he kissed you back. And you like him so much.
"Oh, god.”
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tkwrites · 24 days ago
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Happy Halloween! - Quinn Hughes x ofc
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Title: Happy Halloween!
Author: Tory / @tkwrites 
Relationship: Quinn Hughes x Sarah Roberts (ofc) 
Warnings: None, it's just some silly, kitschy fun. 
Summary: Quinn and Sarah plan for and attend the Canucks team Halloween Party
Word Count: 2,800
Comments: Happy Halloween!
I wasn’t originally planning to write this fic, but an idea lodged itself in my brain after listening to Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper on one of my friends Halloween playlists. It’s kitschy and cheesy, more than a little ridiculous and very, very fanfiction-y. But it turned out so cute and I love it. I hope you do, too!
If you've never heard Feed My Frankenstein before, give it a listen so you can get the vibe.  
If you enjoyed this Snapshot, please consider commenting, reblogging, or sending in an ask about it. I love talking with you!
Happy Halloween!
A Quinn & Sarah Snapshot 
“So I’ve been thinking,” Sarah said as they were on the phone one night. 
“About what?” Quinn asked. 
“About Halloween.” 
A laugh bubbled out of his chest, “isn’t it a little early for that?” The season hadn’t even started. There were just two short weeks before he’d be back in Vancouver, and three and a half weeks before she’d move into his apartment. His stomach filled with giddy butterflies every time he thought of it. 
“It’s a big deal for you guys, right?” 
“Well, I mean, we have a big party. But, last year, I bought my costume the day before.” He didn’t mention that he’d broken things off with June for good the week before the party and had to scramble to find a costume on his own. 
She made a humming noise. 
“We can do it earlier if you want,” he said. 
“From what Bella told me, people go all out,” she said. “We don’t have to. I just thought I’d throw it out while I have the mental capacity to plan a costume.” 
“No,” he pushed himself up to sit against the headboard, “let’s talk about it. Did you have something in mind?” 
“Nothing I have my heart set on,” she said, “but I had a few ideas.” 
“Okay, shoot.”
“I want to hear yours, too.” 
“I just started thinking about this two minutes ago, so I don’t have any idea, yet, but if I think of one, I’ll let you know,” he said, his smile teasing  
Sarah rolled her eyes. 
“What are your ideas?” he prompted. 
“Well, we could do Captain America and Agent Carter,” she offered, “Or I thought the casual look of him and Black Widow from Winter Soldier, with the baseball hat and glasses, when she’s in the hoodie?” 
“Okay,” he nodded, “I like the second one. We wouldn’t even have to go shopping for that.” 
She giggled. She’d thrown that one in precisely because she knew he’d like it. It was her fallback if none of the others stuck. 
“And then I thought about Zombies. Like, we could have someone do skull makeup.” 
Quinn winced. “I really don’t want to do face paint. Brock did it last year, and he was finding blue paint all over for days.”
She figured that was the case but thought she’d shoot her shot anyway. “Okay. My last idea was to go as Drs. Grant and Stattler from Jurassic Park.” 
“That one wouldn’t be too hard, either.”
“Khaki shorts and button ups,” she agreed. 
“And hiking boots,” he mused. It sounded like the most comfortable outfit to him. “The rookies could wear those blow-up dinosaur costumes,” he said with a snort. 
Sarah barked a laugh, “we could recreate the arrival scene in your jeep.”
“If we do that, I’m renting a Jurassic Park jeep.”
She’d mostly been kidding about the arrival scene. “I mean, if you want to.” 
He beamed over the FaceTime connection. “I think we should do it.” It was a unique costume of something he actually liked, and he could involve some of the guys who didn’t have partners or didn’t want to think about finding costumes. Tanev had done that for him his first year, and it’d been a lifeline he hadn’t known he needed. 
So they got to planning, buying the outfits and accessories. He spent way too much money on some cosplay recreation of Dr. Grant's hat Sarah found on Etsy. 
After scouring the internet and going on fan forums, Quinn found a local guy who had built a few replica jeeps. He also happened to be a huge Canucks fan, so when Quinn got in contact and told him who he was and what they were trying to do, the guy was eager to help and even offered to drive so drop them off at the party to make the scene a little more realistic.
Dane picked them up a block from their apartment. Thankfully, the sky was clear. 
He was all in. He even had the hat and sunglasses the driver wore in the movie. His wife tagged along, sitting in the backseat with Quinn, and they chatted as they drove. He’d tried to pay them, but Dane had refused, saying it was an honor. He slipped Andi an envelope with some rental money and tickets to a home game anyway. 
They were headed to a private event space a ways outside the city for the party, and Quinn had organized for everyone to be outside for their arrival. He’d invited some of the single guys to dress up as the dinosaurs they’d be awed at. Silovs jumped on it, not having much experience with Halloween, and eventually, Hoglander and Aman jumped in, too. 
It wasn’t a whole herd of brontosaurus, but it was better than nothing. And Quinn felt better, making sure those guys felt included in a tradition they didn’t grow up with, especially at an activity that was generally so partner focused.
He’d asked Bella to film it. They were putting so much work into it, he wanted to have some sort of record. Plus, he knew his family would want to see it. His grandpa was the first person Quinn watched Jurassic Park with, and Quinn knew he’d especially enjoy it.
When they pulled up and everyone turned to look at them, Sarah felt an instant fit of giggles overtake her. Forcing herself to look at the large, plastic monstera leaf she was holding, she tried to hold it in. 
Just like he asked, the guys dressed as dinosaurs were at the front of the crowd. All three of them wore different costumes. Hoglander was in a ridiculous fabric dilophosaurus costume, while Aman was in a dinosaur onesie. Silovs was in the inflatable T-Rex costume Quinn had sent them as an example. He wasn’t too surprised. It allowed him a certain amount of anonymity, which Quinn knew the shy goaltender appreciated. 
He was worried he would look incredibly unnatural doing this whole thing, but found it actually came quite easily. It’s not like he was making a fool of himself on national television. These were his teammates. 
The fact that he had a girlfriend nerdy enough to go in on this bit with him made it all that much easier. They were making fools of themselves together. While June would have done this with him, she would have taken it incredibly seriously and had a three person camera crew on location to get the best shots and reactions so she could post it on her socials.
When the Jeep came to a stop, and everyone looked over at them, Quinn threw off his hat and stood on the seat before shakily removing his sunglasses.
The whole team started to laugh, but he could tell most of them were impressed with their commitment to the bit. 
Sarah was prattling on about the fauna in her hand, and he reached over to turn her head. Still trying not to laugh, she tore off her sunglasses and stood up, mouth agape. 
They both scrambled out of the car, walking up to their small herd. 
Quinn turned to her, the hand still holding his sunglasses waving, “It’s…It’s a dinosaur.” 
“Uh hu,” Sarah agreed, barely holding herself together with everyone else laughing and cheering. 
“Welcome — to Jurassic Park!” someone yelled in a very bad British accent.
Sarah lost her composure, laughter peeling out of her mouth in hearty guffaws.  
Quinn turned back to thank Dane, who said it was a pleasure before he saluted and drove away. 
“That was so good!” Meghan exclaimed, gathering Sarah into a hug. She was dressed as a beach-goer with a very realistic bite taken out of her arm. Conor was in a shark onesie. “I can’t believe you got Huggy to do that whole thing.” 
“The arrival bit was actually his idea.”
“Really?”
Sarah nodded, “he’s secretly kind of a nerd.”
She laughed, knowing full well how much of a nerd he was. There was a reason he and Conor got along so well. 
Walking into what Sarah knew must be a ballroom, she was a bit surprised at all the decor. The space was completely transformed. Decorated to look like a spooky forest, there was a fog machine and strobing lights and a bartender aptly dressed as a werewolf. 
“How much did you guys pay for this?” she asked.
Quinn shrugged and pointed out the karaoke stage set up in the corner. “Will we get to hear you sing tonight?” he asked, slipping an arm around Sarah’s waist.
She let the subject drop. It wasn’t the way she’d spend her money, but she didn’t have the excess of it most people in this room did. “Maybe once I get a few drinks in me. I’m way too sober to make a fool of myself in front of your teammates.”
His eyes were alight with the memory of her singing in Nevada. She’d been good. Well, as good as someone tipsily singing Time of the Season can be. Mostly, it had been fun to see that looser side of her. 
The party was fairly chill. An open bar with themed cocktails and lots of dancing. Once everyone was a bit more tipsy, thanks to the jello shots that were passed around, Conor started the karaoke with a horribly off-key rendition of  Ghostbusters. Meghan went next singing, Look What You Made Me Do.
The rookies were encouraged (read: forced) up on stage to perform Everybody (Backstreets Back). Sarah felt bad for them. Most didn’t even speak English as a first language and were now being forced to sing an awful song from an outdated boyband she wasn’t sure any of them had even heard before.
A few more songs were sung as Sarah caught up with Bella. She and Brock were dressed as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo. It was an excellent fit for them. Bella looked killer in her little purple dress and white go-go boots, and the 70s style fit Brock better than Sarah would have previously thought. Then again, it was pretty difficult to make him look bad. 
“What is this?” Bella asked when a hair metal guitar solo rang through the speakers. 
“I’m pretty sure it’s Feed My Frankenstein by Alice Cooper.”
When Bella gave her a surprised look, Sarah explained, “my dad loved metal and shock rock. We used to sing it together all the time.” 
The intro started again instead of continuing on and Sarah turned, wondering why no one was singing yet. 
Quinn was standing right behind her, a shit eating grin on his face as he held out a microphone. 
Her laugh rang through the karaoke speakers. Shaking her head, she backed up. 
“Oh, come on, you know you want to,” Quinn encouraged, before starting to chant, “Sar-ah! Sar-ah!” 
People immediately joined in. 
“Oh, please?” Bella begged from beside her. “I wanna see you get your metal on!” 
The alcohol singing in her veins transformed her trepidation into courage. Snatching the mic, she sauntered onto stage, feeling a kind of performance alter ego take root. 
Slipping the mic into the stand, she said, “you owe me, Hughes.” 
He laughed. 
The intro started again, and she pulled out her ponytail, flipping her head upside down to shake out her hair. Someone wolf whistled. 
She flipped her hair back up, grabbed the mic stand to pull the mic to her mouth, and yelled, “Feed my Frankenstein.”
Surprised, Quinn’s eyes blew wide. He knew Sarah loved karaoke. She’d told him, as had her best friend Beth. And he’d even seen it first hand in Nevada, but this was different. 
Swinging her hair and hips grinding with the music, she didn’t sing so much as yell in tune. It was obviously a song she knew well. He’d known she would - Beth had sent him a list of some songs she knew Sarah wouldn’t be able to resist. 
Pointing right at him and tilting her head in a sort of predatory way, she sang, 
“Dude!” Conor yelled, clapping Quinn on the shoulder. 
I'm a hungry man
But I don't want pizza
I'll blow down your house
And then I'm gonna eat ya
Bring you to a simmer
Right on time
Run my greasy fingers
Up your greasy spine
He was too stunned to respond. He’d heard the song before, from watching Wayne's World, but hearing the lyrics come out of her mouth gave them a whole different meaning. 
Feed my Frankenstein
Meet my libido
“She's a psycho"
Not that he was complaining. It was incredible to see Sarah let loose like this. 
Feed my Frankenstein
Hungry for love and it's feeding time
It was most surprising to him that her seemingly mild-mannered, engineer father liked music like this and had shared it with his daughter. 
In the interlude, Sarah decided she might as well commit, and making her way off the stage, she walked right to Quinn. The crowd parted, all cheering. If she was going to do it, she was going to do it right. 
Velcro candy, sticky sweet
Make my tattoos melt in the heat
Well, I ain't no veggie
Like my flesh on the bone
Alive and lickin' on your ice cream cone
She was glad to see a few people had their phones out. At least she’d be able to see just how much of an ass she was making of herself later. 
“Yeah, Sarah!” someone yelled from her left, “show him who’s boss!” 
That almost broke her, and she lost her composure for a moment, looking into Quinn's eyes and giggling. It was hard to want to seduce him while he still had that ridiculous hat on. 
She growled that last bit into his ear as she tore off the hat and threw it into the crowd. 
Meet my libido
“She's such a psycho"
He let out a surprised laugh and someone whooped. 
Holding him by the front of the shirt, she pulled him with her as she got back on stage.
Feed my Frankenstein
Hungry for love and it's feeding time
Quinn went willingly, finding his heart pounding a little harder than he expected. 
She finished the last riffs with a few last whips of her hair and lowered the mic. 
Quinn turned her around, and she took a dramatic bow, laughing all the while. It wasn’t until he led her off the stage and the adrenaline rush of being in front of the crowd began to ebb away that she realized exactly what had just happened. 
Resting her forehead on the front of Quinns shoulder, she moaned, “I can’t believe I just did that.” 
He laughed, running his hand up and down her back, “I can’t really either. I had no idea you felt so passionately about Alice Cooper.” 
She was blushing furiously as she pulled away, a  playful glare on her face, “I’ll have you know I used to sing that song in front of my mirror when I was little. Twelve year old me thought it was very scandalous.” 
Laughing, he leaned in to kiss her. “You did good.” 
“Now you have to get up there,” she said. 
“No.” 
“Yes,” she argued. 
“I paid my dues as a rookie. I’m never doing that again.” 
“You’re no fun.”
“I’m lots of fun.” 
She rolled her eyes and turned to the bar. 
Quinns arms snuck around her waist and roughly pulled her against him, “do I need to remind you how much fun I am?” 
“Uh-hu,” she said, twisting in his grip. He grinned and winked. “By singing some karaoke.”
His smile slipped, and he shook his head.
“Then,” she leaned in, “you can remind me of all the other ways you like to have fun on the way home.”
“I really don’t –”
Her mouth came dangerously close to his ear, “I’ll get you off on the Uber ride home if you do.” 
Feeling suddenly breathless, he asked, “if I do - hypothetically -” he added, not quite ready to commit, “do I have to do it on my own?” 
Knowing she was halfway to winning, Sarah smirked. “Of course not. I bet Brock would do it with you,” she said, stopping the tall blonde with a hand on his arm. 
“Oh my god,” Bella squealed, bounding up to them. “Please, please, please? Brock said he won’t unless someone does it with him!” 
Some kind of teammate telepathy was exchanged through a few raised eyebrows that ultimately ended with Quinn turning to the bartender, “can I get another shot?” 
“Of what?” 
“Doesn’t matter.”
They pushed a purple jello shot over the counter before tilting their head at the group of them. Sarah nodded, and they pulled out three more. 
They all cheersed and shot back the slippery, sweet cocktails.
Smacking the shot glass back on the bar, Quinn grimaced. “Let's get this over with.”
“That’s the spirit!” Bella teased.
“Go get ‘em, tiger,” Sarah said, smacking Quinn’s butt as he followed Brock to the stage.  
Want more Quinn & Sarah? Check out the Snapshots Masterlist 
To read all my fics, check out the Fanfiction Masterlist
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angelsuecult · 2 months ago
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uncensored | s. crosby
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warnings: MINORS DNI! a whole lot of cursing and smut. some roughness, so please read at your own discretion.
summary: sidney’s feeling in the mood to incorporate something beyond what you might expect. a forgotten phone catches all the nastiest details after a nice night out with friends.
wordcount: 6.2k
a/n: plotless smut with a twist, literally nothing more. also anon i saw ur message and i’ve been having connectivity problems all day which is why i’ve only just got around to uploading but thank u for ur kind words!! i don’t even know how i got this idea but.. also i felt bad that it wasn’t uploaded when i said it would be so i made it extra long! hopefully i can get that request one up today too, if not it will absolutely be up tomorrow. i hope y’all enjoy it! feel free to fill my inbox with your thoughts or requests! i love u little sluts🫶
The evening started innocently enough, the restaurant hummed with life, dim lighting casting a warm glow on the surroundings. Laughter and conversation filled the air as glasses clinked together, the smell of freshly cooked dishes floated through the air from the open kitchen. You were seated at a long table with a group of friends, a mix of familiar faces. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits.
Sid sat beside you, his thigh pressing lightly against yours, a silent connection that had been building since you first arrived. Every time his arm brushed yours as he reached for his drink, or when his fingers rested casually on your knee under the table, you could feel the tension simmering between you both. It wasn’t just the wine making your head feel light, its was the proximity, the heat of his body next to yours, and the way his touch lingered a second too long.
Across the table, your friends were in the middle of a heated discussion about the best vacation spots. You and Sidney were only half-listening, caught up in your own bubble as you sipped on your wine. His gaze flicked toward you, his lips quirking into a half-smile as if he knew exactly what was on your mind. The brush of his hand against your thigh under the table became deliberate, his fingers inching upward slightly.
At some points the conversation shifted toward the upcoming season, with Sidney’s friends asking him questions about training. You could see the way his eyes darkened slightly, how his attention wasn’t entirely on what they were saying but on the way your breathing changed each time his fingers inched higher and higher.
”Yeah, training has been good. Hard but good,” he replied absently, his hand now fully resting on your thigh, his fingers tracing circles that made it hard for you to sit still.
You shifted in your seat, your body betraying you as you fought the urge to react, not wanting anyone at the table to notice the dangerous game you and Sidney were playing. But he noticed. He always noticed. His smile widening slightly, his eyes locking on yours for a moment silently telling you he wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.
You learned in close, your voice low so only he could hear. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Crosby,” you whispered, shooting him a glance as you tried to focus on the conversation again.
His response was immediate, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered back, “You love it.”
And he wasn’t wrong. You did love it—the thrill of it, the anticipation, the way his touch made you forget everyone else around you. The tension had been building all evening, and now, with the wine loosening your inhibition and the feel of Sidney’s hand on your thighs, you couldn't wait for the night to take the turn you both wanted.
Across the table, someone suggested heading to a local bar, and for a moment, the attention shifted from the two of you. “What do you think?” Sidney asked, leaning close again. “Should we continue the night or head home?”
You glanced around the table, noting how everyone seemed eager for the night to continue. But you weren’t thinking about them. All you could think about was Sid and the promise in his touch, the way his eyes held yours in that quiet, burning intensity that made your pulse race.
”I think,” you began, your voice low as you reached for his drink, taking a sip before handing it back to him, “we should get out of here.”
His eyes darkened at your words, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Yeah?”
You nodded, biting your lip as you met his gaze, the tension crackling like electricity. He didn’t need to be told again. He flagged down the waiter, signaling for the check, and within minutes, you were outside the restaurant waiting for your car.
The cool night air was a welcome relief as you stood on the sidewalk, Sid’s arm casually draped around your shoulder. You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body seeping into yours, the buzz of alcohol still humming in your veins. “I think we had one too many,” you whispered, your lips brushing the fabric of his shirt as you glanced up at him with a lazy grin.
Sidney chuckled, his finger trailing absentmindedly up and down your arm. “Maybe,” he agreed, his voice low and relaxed. He leaned down and pressed. A kiss to the top of your head, the lingering scent of his cologne mixing with the alcohol and the remnants of your evening. There was something about him when he drank, how it loosened his edges and made him playful—more willing to let go.
The car pulled up to the curve, and he opened the door for you, his hand resting on the small of your back as you slid into the backseat. Once inside, the tension that had been building all night felt even more intense in the confined space. The driver asked for your destination, and Sidney gave him the address. As the car started moving, the city lights flashing by in a blur, Sid’s hand slid higher up you lead, his thumb brushing the hem of your dress, dangerously close to where you wanted him most. Your breath caught, and you shot him a warning glance, but it was half-hearted at best. The anticipation becoming unbearable, the slow build from dinner now reaching a point where you weren’t sure you could wait much longer,
“You’re killing me,” you whispered, leaning into him as his hand continued its tortuous path along your thigh.
His grin was pure mischief as he leaned closer, his lips brushing your ear. “Just getting started babe.”
His words sent a shiver down your spine, your body responding instantly to the promise behind them. You pressed your thighs together, trying to keep some control, but Sidney wasn’t having it. His hand slipped between your legs, fingers brushing over the thin fabric of your panties, and you bit back a moan, your hand shooting out to grip his arm.
He chuckled softly, his lips grazing your neck as he whispered, “You’ve been teasing me all night. I think it’s time for some payback, eh?”
You were about to respond when the car hit a red light, and the driver turned around, asking you if you wanted the music to be louder. It was a surprising interruption, pulling you momentarily out of the haze Sidney had you in.
”No, we’re good,” Sid says, his voice steady, though you could feel like tension could beneath the surface. His hand stayed where it was, pressing lightly against you, a silent reminder of what was to come.
The light turned green, and the car started moving again, the city slipping away as you headed toward home. His hand stayed on you, a constant maddening pressure that kept you on the edge of losing all control.
You turned your head slightly, your lips brushed against his ear as you whispered, “I can’t wait until we get home.”
His hand tightened on your thigh, his eyes darkening as he shot you a sidelong glance. “Neither can I.”
When you finally pulled up to the house, Sidney paid the driver quickly, practically pulling you out of the car and up to the door. Once inside, the quiet calm of the house wrapped around you guys like a blanket. The tension from the night was still there, simmering beneath the surface.
The door closed behind you with a soft click, you kicked your shoes off, tossing your coat on a chair, while Sidney lingered by the door, watching you. And you could feel his gaze on your back, heavy and intense, and it made your pulse quicken. You grabbed a glass of water, taking a sip before holding one out to him. “Want some?”
Sid shook his head, his lips twitching into a smile. “Not really thirsty.” He set the glass down, without taking a sip, his steps slow and deliberate as he crossed the room toward you, “I’m more interested in something else right now.”
The silence in the house was immediately drowned out by the heavy sound of breathing. Sidney had barely let you cross the threshold before he was on you—his hands gripping at your hips with a force that sent sparks through your body.There was an urgency between you, a raw need simmering just beneath the surface, set free by the alcohol still buzzing through your veins.
He pressed you against the wall, his lips crashing into yours in a kiss that was as much teeth as it was tongue, hungry, and desperate. You moaned into his mouth, your hands already threading through his hair, tugging him closer as he ground his hips into you. The hard length of him pressed against your stomach, a delicious reminder of what was to come.
“I’ve been thinking about this all night,” he murmured against your lips,his voice low and ragged, sending shivers down your spine. His hands slid below your waist, fingers slipping beneath the hem of your dress, teasing the soft skin of your thighs.
You gasped, your breath catching as his fingers brushed against your soaked panties, the pressure just enough to make you ache for more. “I need you so bad.”
He groaned into your mouth, his hand still between your legs, fingers pushing your panties to the side as he teased your entrance with the tip of his finger. The slickness made him moan, the sound loan and guttural. “You’re so wet already, baby,” he grunted, his voice dripping with satisfaction as his fingers slid inside you, two at once, stretching you just right.
Your head fell back against the wall as he began to pump his finger in and out, the rhythm slow and torturous. The sound of your wetness filled the air between you, that soft, obscene squelch that had you clenching around his fingers, wanting more.
”Sid—fuck, baby,” you moaned, your hips moving against his hand, chasing that friction as your body heated under his touch. “I need you.”
He chuckled softly, his breath hot against your ear as his fingers curled inside you, hitting that perfect spot that made you cry out. “Not yet.”
Your breath came out in shaky gasps as his thumb pressed against your clit, circling in time with the thrusts of his fingers. You could feel the orgasm building inside you, hot and coiled tight, but Sidney wasn’t letting you go that easily. Every time you got close, he slowed, pulling you back from the edge, leaving you panting and trembling in his arms.
“God, I love watching you like this,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire as he pulled his hand away, leaving you on the verge of begging for more. “So desperate for me. So needy, hm?”
Without another word,he grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the couch. He was unbuttoning his shirt as you went, his chain catching the light as it dangled from his neck. You were too far gone to care about where he was dropping his clothes, your eyes focused solely on the way his abs flexed with each movement, how the thin line of his chain glistened with the dim light, practically taunting you.
By the time he pulled you into his lap, both of you had shed your clothes, the fabric discarded carelessly on the floor. He sat back, his legs spread wide as he looked at you, eyes dark with lust, his lips still swollen and red from your kiss, his dick, hard and ready, pressed against your stomach, the tip already glistening with precum as you straddled him.
Your hands moved on their own, sliding down your body as you ground against him, the friction of his cock against your wetness sending shivers of pleasure through you. You moaned softly, your fingers trailing over your breasts, fondling them as Sidney watched you through half-lidded eyes.
“You’re so fucking hot,” Sidney groaned, his hands moving to your hips as he guided you over him, his length sliding between your folds, teasing you entrance. “I want to feel you, baby. I want to fuck you so hard, you wont be able to walk tomorrow.”
”Wait,” he whispered, his voice rough and teasing. “You know what we should do?”
You paused, your breathing heavy as you looked down at him, your heart racing. “What?” You whispered breathlessly.
His grin widened, his hand sliding up your side, his thumb brushing against the curve of your breast. He leaned in, his lips barely grazing your ear, “We should record this. I want to remember this.”
His words sent a shockwave of heat straight through your core, your breath catching as the idea took hold. The thought of being recorded, of watching yourself ride him, was so dirty, so intoxicating, you couldn't help but bite your lip in excitement. Your heart pounded, the pulse between your legs growing even stronger as you leaned back to look at him.
”You really want to record this?” You asked, your voice trembling with a mix of anticipation and arousal. The idea was thrilling, dangerous, and it made your entire body buzz with need.
His eyes locked on yours, his expression serious but filled with desire. “Yeah,” he whispered, his hands sliding down to your hips again. “I want to watch it over and over again. I want to see how good you look on top of me.”
Your body responded to his words before you could even think. “Fuck yes,” you reached for his phone on the coffee table, your fingers trembling. Sidney was already trailing his lips down your neck, his breath sending goosebumps over your skin. He had that hungry look in his eyes again—the kind that told you he wasn’t going to make this easy. You fumbled with the phone, trying to unlock it as his mouth moved lower, kissing the sensitive spot just above your collarbone. His hands never left your hips, kneading and gripping as you stayed sat on top, trying to balance the need to move against him with the task of setting up the camera.
”Sid,” you breathed, your voice shaky as you finally got the camera app open. But the moment the phone was in your hand, he was pulling you closer, his lips pressing wet open-mouthed kisses up the curve of your neck and jaw. The way he groaned against your skin made it almost impossible to focus. “Fuck,” you whispered, your head tilting back as his teeth grazed your skin. Teasing you as he began to slowly rock your hips again.
”C’mon, baby,” he murmured against your skin, his voice thick and low. His lips found yours again, and you melted into the kiss, losing yourself in the heat of his mouth and the way his tongue slid against yours. You managed to pull away just enough to set the phone down on the arm of the sofa, trying to angle it to capture you both. But Sidney was relentless. His hands roamed over your body, tugging you back down to him, your legs spreading wider over his lap as he continued to kiss you, his lips trailing along your jaw, down your neck, and back to your mouth again. The phone slipped from your grasp and teetered for a moment before falling back onto the cushion.
”Sid, baby, I’m trying to set this up,” you gasped, your breath ragged as you reached for the phone again, but his hands were quick, pulling you back to him with a teasing smirk.
“Oh yeah?” He breathed against your lips. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.”
Just as you positioned the phone, he caught your lips again, his kiss more urgent now, demanding. You groaned into his mouth, almost dropping the phone as you lost yourself in the feeling of him. “Sidney,” you gasped, pulling back just enough to place the phone back in position. You quickly hit record, your breathing coming in quick, shallow-bursts as you looked down at him, eyes heavy-lidded with lust.
”There,” you whispered, barely able to focus. “It’s recording.”
His eyes flashed with darkness as his hands gripped your waist, picking up right where you left off. “Fucking finally,” he growled, his voice dripping with need. “You ready for this, baby? I’m going to ruin you.”
You moaned at his words, your nails digging into his shoulder as you lifted your hips, positioning him at your entrance. Your eyes locked on his as the head of his cock nudged inside, stretching you open as you slowly sank down, taking him inch by inch. He leaned forward slightly, his lips barely bushing against the exposed skin of your chest, your chest heaving in anticipation. “I could stare at you all night.”
The sensation was overwhelming, the stretch burning in the best way as Sidney filled you completely. You felt every ridge, every vain of his dick as he buried himself inside you, the delicious fullness making you gasp. “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned his hands gripping your hips so hard you were sure there would be bruises tomorrow. “You feel so fucking good.” Your walls clenched tightly around him, unwilling to let go.
You could only whimper in response, your head falling forward as you began to move, rolling your hips slowly, savoring the feel of him deep inside you. The rhythm was slow at first, your bodies moving together in a hypnotic dance, the tension building with each thrust.
Sid groaned beneath you, his hands tightening on your hips, as he thrust up to meet your movements, his cock hitting that perfect spot inside you that made your breath catch. His chain, cool against your heated skin, swayed with every movement, brushing against your chest as you leaned in to kiss him.
“Holy fuck,” he whispered,his voice low and rough as he buried his face in your neck, his breath ragged against your skin. The vibration of his voice sent a jolt of electricity through your body, and you couldn't help the moan that escaped your lips, your hands fisting in his hair as you rocked against him.
Your body responded to every movement, every shift of his hips, the slow drag of his length as he pulled out, and the deep, satisfying thrust as he slid back in. Each time he filled you, the fullness made you gasp, your body trembling as the pressure built inside you. You could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly beneath you, his breath coming in short gasps as he watched you, the intensity of his gaze giving you goosebumps.
”Look at you,” he mumbled, his voice thick with desire as he shifted, focusing on the way your body moved over him. “So beautiful. I could watch you all night.” His words sent a rush of heat through you, and you couldn't help the way your body responded, clenching tighter as you rode him, slow and steady, savoring every second.
The sounds of your bodies moving together filled the room—the wet, squelch of your pussy, the systemic slap of skin against skin as Sidney thrust up into you, and the soft breathless moans that escaped your lips as you both neared the edge of release. The knowledge that there was a camera filming every moment, capturing the raw heat between you for him to watch later, was intoxicating.
Just as your body began to tremble on the edge, Sid sensed it—he always knew when you were close. But he wasn’t ready to let you go over the edge just yet. He could feel the way your body was tightening around him, so close to release, but instead of giving in, he closed his movements. His movements became relaxed, deep, his pace deliberately drawn out as he shifted.
You whine in protest, your hands scrambling to hold onto him, but he chuckled softly, lips brushing against your ear, “Not yet, baby.”
Without pulling out of you, Sidney shifted, gently guiding you backward,lowering you onto the couch, with a firm but tender grip. His hands cradled your back as you melted into the cushions, your legs wrapped around him, keeping him buried inside. The change in position was seamless, so smooth that it left your breath catching in your throat. And even though he hadn’t left your body for a second, the feeling of being underneath him now, with his full weight hovering over you, reignited the fire that had been simmering between your hips.
”You’re so fucking beautiful,” he breathed, his eyes roaming over your body, dark and hungry as he took you in.
He paused for a moment, not moving, just watching you. He leaned on one forearm beside your head, using the other hand to gently caress the curve of your waist, his touch feather-light as he traced the contours of your body. His eyes followed his fingers, lingering on every part of you—the swell of your breasts, rising and falling with each shaky breath; the smooth expanse of your stomach, slick with a sheen of sweat; the way your thighs pressed against his hips, trembling slightly with anticipation.
You could feel him inside you, still hard and thick, but he wasn’t moving, not yet. He was teasing you with the stillness, making you crave it even more. The tension was unbearable, the ache between your legs almost too much to handle, and you squirm underneath him, desperate for him to move, to give you more.
”Sid-“ you whimpered, your voice shaky as you gazed up at him. Your hand slid up his chest, your fingers brushing over the hard ridges of his abs before settling on his shoulders, gripping him tightly as you tried to pull him closer. But he didn’t budge. He stayed still, his gaze locked on yours as he dipped his head down, capturing your lips in a slow, lingering kiss. His chain brushed against your skin as he kissed you, cool metal contrasting with the heat of his body, the soft clink of it against your collarbone was hypnotizing.
When he finally pulled back, his lips hovered just inches from yours, his breath warm on your skin, “I’m gonna take my time with you.” His words sent a shiver down your spine, the promise of what was left to come making your core clench around him involuntarily. Sidney felt it, and a soft groan escaped his lips, his control slipping for just a moment as his hips instinctively bucked forward. He caught himself though, steadying his breath, and with a smirk, he began to move again—slowly this time, each thrust deliberate and controlled.
Your heart pounded in your chest, every nerve in your body on fire as he held you there, immobile beneath him, your legs trembling as he spread them wide. Out of the corner of his eye, Sid caught sight of his phone, still propped on the arm of the sofa, the camera lens aimed directly at the two of you. He had almost forgotten about it in the heat of the moment, but now, the thought sent a wave of heat through him. His breathing hitched slightly, as the realization sank in—every moment of this really was being recorded.
A smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at you, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear. “You remember the camera?” He murmured, his voice low. “It’s still recording us.”
Your eyes flickered open, a soft gasp escaping your lips as the realization hit you, and you looked toward the phone with a breathless smile. “Oh my god,” you whispered, biting your lip as your body trembled beneath him. “That’s so fucking hot.”
Sid chuckled, his hand trailing up your thigh as he reached for the phone. Pushing deeper, he shifted his weight onto one arm and grabbed the phone from its perch, his abs flexing as he moved. He repositioned it on the coffee table, angling it so that it captured the entire scene from the the side—his body hovering above yours, your legs spread around his waist, every inch of your connection visible.
His hands slid under your thighs, lifting them higher, adjusting the angle so he could thrust deeper, his movements now quicker and more intense. The change in position made you gasp, the sensation of him filling you completely almost overwhelming as he hit that perfect spot inside you again.
“Fuck,” he groaned, his lips grazing your neck as he buried his face in your hair, his lips brushing your ear. “That feel good?”
”So good,” you moaned, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, your lips meeting in a messy, desperate kiss. The taste of him—of whiskey and need—was a thrill, and you could feel your body trembling with the intensity of it all, your muscles tightening as the pleasure built again.
Sidney’s hips rocked against yours, the rhythm deliberate, his cock dragging along every nerve inside you with a precision that made your toes curl. The wet sounds of him moving inside you filled the air, the slap of his thighs against yours punctuated by the soft moans escaping both of you.
”Look at me,” he breathed, pulling back slightly so he could see your face. His hand cupped your cheek, thumb brushing over your swollen lower lip as he stared down at you with an intensity that made your heart race. “I want to see your face when you finish.”
Your breath caught at his words, your body shaking as you looked up at him, your fingers gripping his biceps, feeling the tension in his muscles as he held himself above you. His arms were strong, veins bulging under the skin, the sight of him—sweat-slicked, muscles rippling with every movement, his eyes dark with lust—had you swinging on the edge of release.
You could feel him getting closer. It was the way his thrust had lost its steadiness, becoming more erratic, how his breaths were starting to come out heavier, rougher against your skin. His hips, though still driving deep and slow, were grinding harder into you, as if he were trying to get even deeper, to claim more of you. The muscles in his arms tensed, his grip on your waist tightening as his finger dug into the soft skin of your hips, holding you down as he fucked you deeper into the cushions.
Sidney groaned, the sound low and guttural, his head dropping to rest against your shoulder as he pumped into you with an unrelenting force. His chest pressed against yours, the heat of his skin mixing with yours, slick with sweat. Every thrust made your breasts bounce against him, your nipples brushing against his firm chest, sending jolts of pleasure through your body. The friction between you was almost overwhelming, the sensation of his hard body pinning you down, his abs tensing and flexing against you with every movement, making you feel every ridge of muscle against your sensitive skin.
“Fuck, baby,” his voice tight, strained with effort of holding back. His mouth was at your ear, breath hot as his teeth grazed your earlobe. “You’re taking me so well—so tight. I’m not gonna last.”
Your body responded instinctively to his words, your hips rising to meet his thrusts, grinding against him in desperate need. You could feel the way his cock twitched inside you, how his movements were becoming more urgent, each thrust harder and more deliberate. Every motion made your legs tremble, your back arching off the couch as your nails dragged down his back, leaving pink trails in their wake.
His chain swung between you, catching the light with every thrust, the metal brushing against your skin and occasionally grazing your lips. The cool sensation of it against your heated skin makes you shiver, your breath barely leaving your throat as it dragged across your bottom lip, slipping into your mouth for the briefest moment before sliding away again.
Without warning, one of his hands slid up from your hip, rough fingers skimming your side until they wrapped gently, around your throat. His thumb brushed over the side of your neck, feeling the quickened pulse beneath your skin, gasping, your body tightening involuntarily around him as the pressure of his hand sent shockwaves of pleasure straight to your core,
”So fucking pretty like this,” he murmured, his eyes dark as they locked onto yours. “You’re mine.” His other hand grabbed at your ass, squeezing hard as he slammed into you, the sound of skin meeting skin was even louder. Your body shook with every impact. You were overwhelmed, consumed by the feel of him—his cock stretching you open, the weight of his body pressing you down, the rough grip of his hands grounding you to the moment.
His breath grew more erratic, chest heaving as he thrust into you, his cock twitching inside you with every stroke. His grip on your ass tightening, pulling you against him with an urgency that told you he was close. His mouth hovered just above yours, the cool weight of his chain slipping between your lips, your tongue brushing against it as you tried to catch your breath. The way his eyes locked on yours, how his gaze flicked between the chain and your flushed face, made your pulse race, your body aching for release.
”I’m so close, baby,” he groaned, his voice thick with need as his hips bucked hard against yours.
You were too far gone to respond properly, lost in the waves of pleasure that kept building with each thrust. All you could do was curse, your nails digging into his back, your thighs trembling against his hips. You tried to speak, but it came out as breathless gasp.
”Fuck—I’m gonna—I’m gonna fucking come.” You panted, your voice shaky, barely able to get the words out between gasps for air. Your entire body was tensing, the pressure inside you folding tight with every deep stroke, his name falling from your lips in broken whispers.
”Sid—fuck—I’m gonna come. I’m—fuck!”
His eyes darkened, his jaw clenching as he thrust harder, deeper, pushing you closer to the edge. “Come for me, baby,” he rasped, his voice strained as he held himself back, waiting for you to unravel beneath him. “Come for me—let me feel it.”
The intensity of his words, the way his chain clinked against your teeth, and the sheer force of his thrusts pushed you over the edge. Your orgasm hit you like a tidal wave, crashing through you with a force that had you crying out, your body trembling beneath him, Your muscles clenched around his cock, milking him with each pulse, your legs locked around his waist as you rode out every last wave of pleasure.
His eyes stayed locked on yours, watching every second as you came undone beneath him. His chain slipped between your lips again, the cool metal catching between your lips as your body shook with each spasm. The sight of it—the way you took it in your mouth, how your lips parted around it as you moaned his name—had him losing his mind. His grip on your throat tightened enough to make your heart pound even harder.
He couldn’t hold back any longer, The sight of you, the feel of you squeezing him so tightly as you came, was too much. His hips stuttered, his chest pressing flush against yours, his abs flexed, sweat slicking his skin as he dove into you one last time, his cock buried deep inside as he let go.
“Shit—I’m gonna come,” he spat, his voice thick and desperate. His hips jerked hard against yours, and he slammed himself into you, his forehead pressed against yours as he came, hot and deep inside you. His cock pulsed, spilling a thick load into you as his body trembled, the pleasure rolling through him in heavy waves.
His eyes never left yours, his gaze locked onto you as he watched you ride out your orgasm, his release spilling further into you with every rough thrust. The weight of him above you, the way his body shuddered with each spam, only heightened your pleasure, making you tremble beneath him as you milked him dry.
He groaned, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his grip on your throat loosening as he collapsed against you, his body spent but still connected to you in every way, his cock still throbbing inside you. His face nuzzled against your neck, placing soft kisses on your damp skin savoring the moment as your hands played with the damp hair at the nape of his neck.
Then it hit him—the camera.
“Jesus,” he muttered, the low sound of his voice pulling you out of your daze. His chest rumbled against yours, his hand sliding down to grip your hip as he slowly shifted his weight, sitting back just enough to reach for the phone perched on the coffee table.
His other hand still gripped your thigh, holding you open, connected, as he grabbed the phone with a smirk. “Gotta finish this off,” he whispered, the phone now in his hand as he leaned back, keeping the camera trained on where you were still joined. Your body trembled under him, still sensitive, still buzzing from the orgasm that had wrecked you just moments ago. You felt the slow grab of his cock as he began to pull out, teasing you with the movement, making you gasp softly. The sensation gives you goosebumps, the emptiness leaving you aching even though you were completely spent.
Sid focused the camera on his cock, still half-hard as he slowly pulled it free, glistening from both your releases. The tip of him was coated in a mixture of his cum and your wetness, his hand gently wrapping around his base as he drew out the moment, making sure the camera captured every inch of him sliding out of you.
A soft moan escaped your lips as his cock slipped free, the wet sound echoing between your bodies. As soon as he was out, you felt it—the slow, messy seep of both of your releases spilling from you. It was slow at first, a thick trail of white slipping from your swollen pussy, mixing with your slick as it dripped down your thighs, pooling on the couch beneath you.
Sidney kept the camera trained there, watching as more of his cum leaked from you, his voice a low murmur of appreciation as he recorded the sight. “Fuck, look at that.” His thumb brushing against the slick skin of your inner thigh, “Look how messy you are—you look so good like this.”
The heat in his voice, that possessive edge, made you pulse again, even though you were completely spent. He zoomed in slightly, focusing on the slow drip of his release slipping out of you, spreading over your thighs. His free hand moved down to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze, as if to emphasize the ownership behind his words. You reached down, fingers brushing lightly against your entrance, feeling the warmth of both of your releases still coating your skin.
“God, you’re so fucking perfect,” he groaned, shifting the camera again to catch your face, your lips still parted, your eyes heavy-lidded with exhaustion and pleasure. “Look at you. So fucking beautiful, so full of me.”
Sidney shifted closer again, his hand slipping up to your stomach as he leaned over, the weight of him pressing against you in a familiar, grounding way. The camera lingered for a few more seconds, capturing every last second of that raw, intimate aftermath before he set it aside.
His body collapsed onto yours, both of you still slick with sweat and desire, but this time the moment felt softer, more tender. His lips brushed against your forehead, and you could feel the rapid beat of his heart calming as he pressed against you.
“That was fucking insane,” he whispered, his voice a low rasp, filled with both exhaustion and satisfaction. His fingers threaded through your hair as his lips ghosted over your skin, the weight of the moment sinking in between you both.
You gave a soft laugh, your body relaxing beneath him, the feel of his warmth settling into you. “We really made a mess, huh?” you teased, your voice barely more than a breath.
Sidney chuckled, his chest rumbling against yours. “Yeah,” he murmured, his lips brushing yours, “but we made a fucking masterpiece. Guess we’ll have to watch this again later,” he suggests, planting a kiss on your cheek. “Maybe even make a sequel.”
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jolalibrary · 2 years ago
Text
arepas
javier peña x f!reader
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summary: when you’re single, it’s complicated. messy. he can’t think straight. Not as straight as he needs to be to keep his wits about him.
an: dedicated to the wonderful, the amazing @halfmoth-halfman - i told you that i'd write you something, and here it is. I hope it makes you smile as much as you make me smile. word count: 9.3k (sorry, not sorry) warnings: developing feelings, slow burn -> colleagues to friends to lovers. usual jo angst, but with lots of banter. fingering, p in v, angst, sweet ending, spoilers for narcos season two.
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friend noun /frɛnd/ a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. "she's a friend of mine."
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It starts in Bogotá. 
His eyes rake over you—the new pretty secretary who won't meet his eyes as though you’d heard all about him. 
It's why he waits. Biding his time before gracing your desk. A file in hand, leaning down—forcing your eyes to meet his. Javi's smirk almost eclipses his face, only doing so when you lift your chin and he finds your lips have slid so far up one side as you stare at his hand.
Agent Pe— I know who you are, Peña. Your reputation precedes you. Good things, I hope?  Depends on who you ask. 
You call him Peña all the time. Even as days slip into weeks, even if he insists you call him Javier or Javi. The tension building, thickening—just like a dish left on a hob. 
He’s used to the whispers, but he’s not used to the ignorance. The way you don’t look at him like the others, instead always trying to find out what he needs from you, rather than what he wants. 
It allows him the chance to study, to watch. Noticing the way you work, the way you converse easily with others and how you walk around the office like you barely notice him. 
It wasn’t through a lack of trying why he hadn’t worsened his reputation. It wasn’t fear of fucking you, of muddying his place of work further—his focus, mission, objective wasn’t to keep the piece inside crumbling Colombian walls. It was more that the fact his usual tactics weren’t working even when his intention was there, clear as the sky on a sunny morning. 
You seemed stressed. Aren’t we all, Peña? I know how to get around that… I’ve heard. 
It’s not that your tongue is quick or icy—it’s that you do it all without looking at him. You bite back without lifting your eyes or turning to him when he stands beside you. An indifference he had usually woven under in the time you’ve been here, but finding troublesome with you. 
So, he tries smiling when smoke swirls around the ceiling fan, and you drop a file off; he drops his voice when he bumps into you by the water machine, holding your sight—commanding it. Which is why he notices the irritation simmering in yours. Growing, and grating more so by his mere breath, never mind his words. 
You don’t like me much.  I don’t know you.  You could. Know me.  What would be the point, Peña? You don’t listen, you interrupt everyone, you fuck everything with a pulse— Tell me how you really feel, hermosa.  I’m trying, but once again, you’re only half listening. 
Determined—that’s how he was often described. 
It was, for this reason, that he has poured so many of his years into catching Escobar. Why he’d looked for whores to get information, not banking on caring and emotions. It’s why he hadn’t looked for anything outside of a quick fuck, a friend, or a sense of belonging—he didn’t have another ounce left in him. It was all spent on the reason he was here: narcos. 
There had been others, naturally. Not all bent to his charm, even if the majority did. He should add you to the list, to the small pile that had amassed through the building and beyond. 
Javi doesn’t. 
And it doesn’t get better, easier. You decline his invites for drinks, even if you do begin to aid him. You refuse grabbing food for lunch with him, even if you have started taking paperwork off him to type up. You’ve even begun making comments, funny ones about his typing abilities, even shooting him a smile as you travel back to your desk. Yet, you don’t even let him drive you home when your car isn’t working. 
Purposefully, you’re a bag of mixed messages. Not because you decline him but because he cannot find a rational reason as to why. You’ve begun moving his paperwork up, but you flirt back. Flimsy, thin excuses find your tongue quicker when he invites you to drinks, not even just with him.  
You’re confusing. A brand of difficult he hadn’t had the opportunity to circle before, something which bothers the shit out of him. 
Which is why he’s coating his throat in whiskey—getting through his pack of Marlboro’s quicker than he usually would be in a bar like this. 
Because, while he doesn’t get you, he hates work functions more. Despising with each growing minute that he’s at one. 
He prefers to choose his company—paid or unpaid. And the sole reason he’d even gone in the first place was to get you to stop calling him Peña—and to keep the CIA away from you. 
He ends up being successful at one of those things. It’s not that he wasn’t sure how to befriend women, just that he usually chooses not to. He ruins any possibility of it by turning on the charm, having their blouse in his fingers and his hand stuffed in their lace. Even for all his charm, it is hard to get them back on his side when he doesn’t call them, or mistakenly calls out the wrong name or avoids them. 
It’s why he knows his name is dirt amongst several secretaries. He’s aware of how gossip spreads like wildfire amongst the secretaries, receptionists, file room assistants, watching it happen as their eyes glisten when he walks past, their whispers dropping an octave when he is within ears reach. 
You don’t partake in it. Digging your pretty eyes into him rather than fluttering your eyelashes. You can put those puppy-dog eyes away, Peña. I’m immune to putas. You can wait like everyone else. Chin lifting at the last second, smothering him in stifled stress and a please-don't-push-me-look. It’s how he learnt you were going for drinks with the CIA, how he discovered the bar and time. 
Why he went in the first place. 
It crossed his mind this could be the night. He could keep you company, find a way in when your wall was down because of the liquor on your tongue. The moment fizzled when he chose to be a gentleman—helping you into his car, guiding you into your place. Even holding your hair back as you vomited the contents of your stomach out. Maybe he should have warned you about doing shots with Jacoby in the first place, but then, he wouldn’t be alone with you. 
See the way you put your weapons down and looked at him pitifully when you couldn’t get the key in your door.
I’ve got you, Bonita.  Bet you say—hiccup—that to all the whores.  You’re not a whore.  No. No, I’m not.
He’d expected you to push him, fight him once inside your place, but you were silent. Occasionally frowning with glossed-over eyes as he continued to help you. You even allow him to help you to bed—without so much as removing his clothes. He’d been almost out of your bedroom door when he heard it:
Still gonna call you Peña, Peña. I know, bonita. There’s a glass of water on your table. 
It played on his mind. 
It wasn’t that he couldn’t be chivalrous, just that it was rare. Stuffed down into his tight jeans and under layers of Colombian grief. While he cares about the people in his life, even the ones at arms reach—the ones he pays and the ones he takes home from a hard day—he doesn’t show it. Keeping it tightly wrapped and away, not willing to let simple and futile emotions blur the lines of why he was here. 
So it surprises him when you leave him a thank you. 
A small note on his desk attached to a bottle containing amber and a large packet of Marlboros.
Still think you’re an asshole, Peña. 
It was the worst thank you note he’s ever had, yet it made him smile. Unthreads annoyances of his day, sewing in a piece of niceness in a tapestry of shit. 
What he did know is that the window of sleeping with you was growing smaller, only fully shutting on him when he uncapped the bottle and poured you a glass when you knocked on his door for his signature. The small office he resided in—all dark, simmering with disappointment and failure after another dead end. Not that you commented on it—even if your eyes narrowed and your lips spread thin. 
You were polite like that. Didn’t call into question or hold a mirror up to him. Just let him be. Tapping your glass against his, his eyes watching as you take a sip—not hissing, not flinching as the taste slides down your throat. Not even when it collects somewhere in your stomach. If anything, you smile. 
Running his hand along his chin, letting his eyes roam as you take in the walls—the files. Your glass teetering on your bottom lip, painted in a shade he wanted staining on various parts of his body—
“Surprised you’re having a drink with me, Peña,” you say, all airy and light—glancing over your shoulder, shining him in mischievous twinkles. “Especially when you could be… paying for better company.” 
He snorts at that, lets a laugh escape—puncture the air. “You know, you bring it up so often, bonita. I’m beginning to think you’re jealous.”  
“Not in the slightest—I don’t do one-night stands.” 
“Two night stands?” He muses. 
And you smirk. Gloriously. Wide and large, the closest he’s gotten you to smile. “If it’s good enough to go back again, why stop at twice?” 
He struggles for a retort, the acidic nature of it being swallowed by whiskey as he raises his glass to his lips. 
Then it shifts the conversation. Returns to normal, safer topics, finding he snorts a few more times as the drinks flow. Even finding you pull a rich laugh from him—one that erases some of the tension, unknots his shoulders from his ears. 
It isn’t until he hears the sweetness of your laugh that he finds that a quarter of the bottle has gone. The paper you’d come in to have signed, still at the top of a forgotten pile. 
You weren't looking, having already turned your back to him, eyes fixed on the wall—the little pins and photos. Allowing him to run his eyes along your back, to your clothe-covered hips and the curves that had been front and centre of his thoughts when he fucked his fist. Your name has been simmering on his tongue for weeks, since you’d been introduced.  
Something stopping him from acting on his thoughts, from standing up and coming up behind you. That very thing being the foundation of what he’d been after from the start. 
“Am I still an asshole, bonita?” He asks when he finally signs the sheet. 
You take the paper, offering a softer smile with a head tilt. “We should drink in your office again. You’re less of one in here, Javi.” 
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“It’s cheaper.” “Cheaper?” You groan, and he slides his hand over his face to hide his smile.  “Fine, Peña—“ “Javi. Come on, bonita. We made progress.”  Glaring, you straighten your spine. “Javi, I wanna eat greasy food in a baggy t-shirt and watch shit TV that I can only partially keep up with. Do you want to do that with me?”  How could he say no? “Do I have to eat greasy food?” “Yes. It’s the law.”  Snorting, he picks up the file, tapping the end of your desk. “I’ll be there around nine.” 
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You’re everywhere. 
He begins finding you at his favourite food stand, conversing with the owner, grin so large it hits your eyes. Another time, you’re at the shop on the corner near his place, brown bag in hand, a knowing nod sent his way when you pass. 
It throws him off, continuing to do so until it changes, and he comes to expect you. Doesn’t brace or freeze, but welcomes you. Leaning into it that you’re there, everywhere he doesn’t expect you to be. Slowly, bleeding across his life, planting yourself in the soil he hadn’t known surrounded him. 
Your name falls from his lips with simplicity, you call him Javi as though it’s all you’ve ever called him. 
Things shifting, changing just like the temperature in Bogotá. He chooses to sit beside you when he spots you at the bar, and not close to the table who were giggling and whispering at his arrival. He opts to ask you for help, over the secretary who has been giving him heart-shaped eyes since she heard something or another. 
Javi is smart, and isn't an idiot. He knows it has shifted. Changed. 
For the better, he isn’t entirely sure. 
He finds comfort in you in a way he doesn’t usually pay for. The desire to fuck you because you were attractive lessening, and rather because, on some level, he suspected he actually liked you. Especially when you invited him for drinks at yours, instead of a bar. 
It was easier not to question it. To not change. To not ask and ruin it. He went round to yours, or you to his. A gap forming, welcomed and strong. Javi fucked who he wanted to fuck, and sought companionship (fully clothed, a glass of liquor variation in hand) from you. The contents of it shifted depending entirely on the situation. Sometimes, it was accompanied by home-cooked food, and sometimes he brought warm trays in a bag that you groaned in appreciation upon arrival. 
Javi told himself you reminded him of Laredo. Of high-school friends and easy laughter. You reminded him of girls who never became more than friends, the ones he’d grown apart from when they settled and married, and he ran as far away as possible. 
That and he just liked your company. You made it easy. You were his… Friend. 
You were something different than what he had with Carillo. Something other than the partnership he was now bedding in with Murphy. 
You had embedded yourself as much in work as you were out of it. As time ticked on, his brain slowly filled with useless information about likes and dislikes in a drawer in his mind, he marked just for you. They weren’t things he usually didn’t care to know about anyone. Not since he’d been in Colombia. Not since he’d been in Laredo, where he’d never been short of a friend to two. 
Being your friend became a thing he suddenly wanted to cling to. Not wanting to lose it—lose you, not wanting to fuck it up. 
So, he didn’t. 
Even if you looked at him with pretty eyes, dragging your tongue across your bottom lip. Even if sometimes the silenced humming with something different, something less friendly. 
He cared. 
Really cared. He found himself annoyed if you seemed a little off, and found himself wanting to make you smile. The two of you spread past the line into an area out of his usual wheelhouse. Friendship. A relationship that had him around your place so many nights a week, tucking into spirits and beer you’d begun keeping just for him. It was normal. Nice. 
Or it was, until you curled into one side of the sofa, him on the other. Your foot isn’t close to his thigh, no leg draped over his—your behaviour not like normal. 
He’d put it down to another shit date. One he’d been tortured with hearing about—the only downside to the arrangement, the friendship. 
But, as you wrap your fingers around your calf, he realises it isn’t the date, the bad food or the day. 
“Being your friend is kinda hard.”
Frowning, he sits up a little more. “Why?”
You shrug. He doesn’t like it when you do. You have answers, usually quick ones. A shrug meaning you don’t or you’re afraid of speaking them—letting them ball and fester in your throat. 
“‘Cause you do thoughtful shit, and it makes me think things.”
He bites his smirk, and savours it. Knowing and understanding more than he can acknowledge as he folds his arms. “Not a smart move, thinking about me, hermosa.” 
“Don’t I know it.” 
"Bonita...."
"Why'd you call me that?"
You don't ask it rudely, more questionably. Brows knitting together in confusion as you watch him.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Not in the slightest."
He smirks, letting out a sharp laugh. "Go get another drink, bonita."
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“So, the two of you haven’t… you know?” Leaning in the chair, he stares at him. “No. We haven’t.” “I don’t believe you?” Smirking, he shifts his hips. “Go ask her. She’ll say the same.” He snorts. “You’re telling me you go round her place, have fun, laugh, and leave—I don’t believe it.”  “Believe it, Murphy.” 
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It’s hard not to call back to the words spoken that night. 
Let them loop around and around, wrap themselves around other phrases—micro-expressions and bothersome avoidance. 
Your eyes were dark, chin resting on your knee, looking at him as though you wanted to burn everything to the ground. He’d swallowed, and hesitated—two things he never did. 
But with you, he wasn’t exactly himself. 
You had found a way to unlock a part of him he kept away from everyone else. He was still an asshole, still selfish and cocky. But he also bit back more around you and found ways to annoy you playfully, rather than to piss you off. 
“Here.”
“You bought me a book?” 
He smirks, gripping his arms as he watches you turn it over, “You like reading.”
Smirking, you scan the blurb, your brain trying to translate it quickly. “What gave you that impression?” 
Shrugging, he trails a finger across his bottom lip. The signature smirk started growing, spreading, eclipsing whatever was there previously. 
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, hermosa. I see you reading on your lunch.” He looks you up and down. “Thought you could do with some fresh material.” 
“So you bought me a romance book.”
Dropping his arms, he rolls his lips. “Everyone needs a little romance in their life, don’t they?” 
“Well, you’re the expert. I hear you’ve been getting some “romance” nightly,” you smirk, placing the book down.
He had. 
Almost determined to do so. Needing to bury himself to the hilt in others to distract him from you. Secretly thinking of you, trying to imagine the way your skin would feel under his calloused palms. 
“Jealous, bonita?”
Smiling, you tilt your head. “Why? I’ve got a romance book.”
He tries to tell himself he’s not affected by you. 
That it’s protectiveness why he sits at the bar in the restaurant you’re in. Why he chooses a seat where he can see the reflection in the mirror behind the liquor bottles, able to see you without watching you. 
He tells himself it’s to ensure you’re okay. Nothing else. The convincing goes well until your finger taps him on the shoulder, practically dragging him outside by his elbow. 
The cooler temperature bites his skin, but your eyes full of fire keep him warm. Digging into him, inflicting flames that lick at muscle and bone.
“Why are you here, Peña?”
He masks a shudder. “Don’t… don’t call me, Peña—“
“—you fucked all the whores?” 
“I was drinking.” 
Raising your brow, you fold your arms. “You’re ruining my date.” 
He lets his eyes drop. Knowing he is. He knew he would when he scrunched the piece of paper in his hand as he overheard you talking about some black dress and little heels for it. 
The same ones you’re standing in front of him in, looking nothing short of radiant—the slightest shiver misting over you.
“You deserve better.”
Folding your arms, you sigh. “What, like you?” 
He runs a hand over his chin, leaning against the wall. “No, bonita. Better than me.”
You bite the inside of your lip, the shiver more obvious. So much so, he removes his jacket, considering draping it over you, but instead hands it to you. 
“Look, I know I ruined your date, but he’s an asshole.”
Swallowing, you let out a heavy breath. “I’m mad at you, but… he really is awful.”
He smothers his relief. Ensures his tone is normal as he murmurs, “Yeah?” 
Nodding, you bite your lip. “Can you… could y—“
“Go get your bag, hermosa.”
It’s quiet, the car ride. 
Your knee nervously bounces, the fabric of your dress rising up your thigh as you do. 
He’s being tested. He’s sure of it. Adamantly so when he pulls up outside yours, and you invite him in. It’s confirmed when you tell him to help himself while you change, stepping into your room. 
A version of him wanting to follow. To place his hand on the back of your neck, the other tilting your chin up, kissing the name of your date tonight. Pulling your body close, making it forget it ever shivered from anything less than pleasure. 
He thinks about it as he fills his glass, and keeps yours empty. Javi thinks it as his jeans become tight and his pulse quickens, wondering if you sprayed your perfume anywhere other than your neck and wrist—whether you’d taste as sweetly as you say his name. Whether you’d dig your nails in when he stuffed you full of him—
“Not pouring me one?” 
Blinking, you’re in his T-shirt and some leggings. 
The former is something you’d borrowed when you’d spilt food on your blouse. A band tee, one from a concert when he was younger and happier, and less confused what the fuck all of this meant. 
He hadn’t realised how much he had been holding himself back until you sank onto your sofa, looking serious—brows and forehead creasing. 
It made him want to nurse it out of you, find a solution to stop you from worrying or overthinking. 
“You’ve never tried to sleep with me.” 
He scoffs, loud and undignified. The sentence catches and cuts through the air. All the letters of it punctuated by a thin silence, lightly chopped—not allowing interjection or regret. 
You're waiting. 
Nervously. Plucking your bottom lip between your white teeth like you’re picking guitar strings. 
He considers telling you the truth. That fucking you had been the sole and only intention for a long time. Seeing if you could bend in two, what noises you would make—see if he could get you to chant his name. 
That had been his goal… until it wasn’t. 
Javi drains his glass, knowing you’re astute. That you work with agents of all kinds—you hold your fucking own around all sorts of them. So you know (of course you know) when someone is lying—so he offers something else entirely. 
A slither of truth, an offering of it—if that. 
“Didn’t wanna fuck this up, bonita.”
You take a sip of your own, not smiling, not smirking. Silence thumps between the two of you as you likely process the information, both in word form and in heavy silence. Then you land your eyes on him, something blossoming in them, spreading and taking over as they seemingly darken like the sky before a storm. 
“That because you don’t think you could make me come, Peña?” 
He spreads his palm against his jeans, resting the glass against his other as he drags his eyes to the floor. Biting the inside of his cheek. Wondering to himself why he’d stopped trying so quickly, knowing he was usually much more persistent. His perseverance was why he was still here, hunting Escobar. Yet, he’d folded like a piece of fucking paper when it came to you. 
“Fine,” you commented, placing your glass down. “If we… don’t want to fuck this up. I think we need a codeword. An unsexy one. One that sorta tells the other to stop doing whatever they’re fucking doing….”
“Because…?” 
You give him a look, a sharp one with soft edges. “Because we’re friends, right?”
He nods. 
“So, as friends, I need a word to shout at you when you’re… Peñaring.” Frowning, he watches you smirk. “Javi, you’re handsome. And I spend… I spend more time with you than anyone else. The whole time I was on that date, I was thinking of you—and then there you fucking were. Being my friend.” 
No. He thinks. 
Knowing inside of him he wasn’t there to be your friend, but something he can’t quite acknowledge. A thing which vibrates inside of him, that gallops when you’re around and worsens when you’re not. 
A thing he cannot give into. Not with what he does. 
Not with what happened to Helena… 
The remembrance, the horrid wake-up call that continues to paralyse him. The larger need to keep you safe. 
“You like whores and quick-fucks. I like fucking one person who will only fuck me while they’re fucking me. And, I need the word—a word—because we spend a lot of time together, and you look like you do.” 
His lip twitches, his moustache moving as he drags his eyes back to you. Unsure how you haven’t thrown it out there that you looking the way you do is also a problem.
As though you’re ignoring how fucking sinful you always look—especially in his fucking clothes. 
He doesn’t because, if anything, he doesn’t hate the idea. Not immediately. Somewhat struggling to hide the way you make his cock twitch when you flirt, when you lean on his desk, the top two buttons undone on your blouse. That he sometimes fucks and wishes it was you and not the woman he’s chosen. 
The two of you toeing the line of being friends to the point it sometimes makes his head hurt and his cock throb. 
“What you got in mind?” 
“Apuñalarme?”
He shouldn’t be surprised you’d thought of a word. Always methodical, always thinking ahead. 
“Thinkin’ that one could be taken the wrong way.”
Frowning, you reach forward for some of the leftovers. “How?” 
He stares, and then he swallows. “Well, I could stab you with my co—“
“OKAY. Fine. Who knew it would be so hard to pick a word to keep our friendship intact? What about… arepa?” 
Taking a sip of his drink, his brow slowly arched.
“Well, it’s food—“
“Food can be sexy, bonita.”
“Yes, but if I said arepas, I don’t think: fuck me, Peña—I think fuck I could really eat some stuffed arepas with my friend Peña. Plus, we can then use it around people, ‘cause they’ll just think I’m after food.”
He plays with the glass, staring at your coffee table as he takes it in. Considering it. Finding it plausible—a good enough excuse. A thing to say other than ‘I don’t wanna hear about you going on a date, bonita’—probably around the same as you don’t wanna hear about his conquests. 
You’re nervous, teeth picking at your skin. 
Something blooming in his chest, smothering warmth across his heart and skin. You want to be his friend—you want him in your life. 
“Alright, bonita, let’s give it a go.”
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You pout, sighing. “You driving me home?” “Arepas.”  “Funny, Peña. So funny.” “You made the rule, bonita.”  Rolling your lips, he watches as you fold your arms under your dress. The fabric flows, blowing around your legs. “I can make this hard for you.”  “That so?” He should have guessed it from the smirk alone.  “I’m not wearing any underwear,” you say, pulling on his door handle and stepping in before slamming it.  Leaving him processing, eyes staring at where you’d just been standing.
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It became complicated in Medellín. 
The routine, the lines—the friendship. 
Everyone is forced all under one roof. The closer proximity means he has to listen to how the others talk to you, how you smile, and how you laugh with every single person. He can’t avoid your laugh—especially the ones you force from bad jokes. Javi has to listen to how others talk about you and how they describe the way they look at you. 
He also has to deal with how your perfume simmers in the air here, how it lingers and clings, even if he does his best to drown it out with smoke. 
In truth, he knows he is just annoyed that you’re even there, to begin with. And, not in Bogotá—where you would have been safer. 
And, as annoying as he finds it, Javi supposes you must suffer through your fair share. His eyes catch yours when someone has called for him, his voice low, a smirk halfway up his face until he sees you ducking your head. 
At the end of the first few days, he realises he misses his evenings with you back in Bogotá. Now, he has to share you in the open office space or hope you’re both free to go to one of the shitty bare rooms you’d both been given. 
Yours at least was more private, Messina having fought for you to have your own as soon as you were relocated to her. 
“Jealous, Peña?” “Yes, hermosa. You don’t have to share with Murphy.”
It worsens when he learns you’re single again. 
You populate his thoughts all over again, having previously stifled them when he knew you were taken. Now that the few month-long situation-ship with someone from the president's building had ended, he found you half a bottle of wine down in your room with several sad Spanish songs. 
When you’re single, it’s complicated. Messy. 
He can’t think straight. Not as straight as he needs to be to keep his wits about him. Before, he could convince himself that flirting is just how the two of you talk. He could comment slyly how he could give you a reason to be silent or him unable to tear his eyes off you when you bend down to get him something from the bottom shelf. 
Even if you’re taken, he thinks arepas repeatedly as you look up at him with wide eyes and gloss-covered lips. But, it’s harmless when you’re unavailable—a foundation of who the two of you were. Now it was confusing again. 
Especially when you begin wearing tight jeans. And you wait until Murphy leaves to pull his chair across and place a bottle on his desk. 
“I need to get drunk.”
Blowing into a spare mug, Javi slams it down next to the bottle. “We can’t leave the base.”
“No, we cannot.”
“Any reason as to why you wanna get drunk?”
You uncap the bottle, glaring at him as you clamp your lips together. The sound of alcohol sloshing into the mug before you begin pouring him one. 
“Hermosa…” 
You take a mouthful from the mug, flicking your eyes to him as he leans back, whispering your name.
“I’m frustrated.”
“Messina busting your—“
“Not like that, Javi.”
It takes him a second. 
A second too long for him, and then he almost chokes on his drink. “Arepas.”
Rolling your eyes, you lean back in Murphy’s chair. “You asked.” 
His thoughts run ahead of him. The idea of pressing you against the desk, hooking a finger in a belt loop as he tugs your tight jeans to your thighs. The way you’d moan his name—not Javier, Javi. Your hands splayed across his desk, taking everything he—
“—so I need to get drunk because otherwise, I’m going to jump someone, because this job is stressful, and I miss my place, my… privacy, and I also miss food truck nights.” 
Swallowing, he places his mug down. 
“I need to have sex—“
“—Arepas—“
“But by someone who won’t lord it over me.” 
You stare at your mug, swirling it—biting the bottom of your lip as you do. 
And he’s all set to tell you that you drive him crazy, that he’d make you feel good—you just have to ask. His hand slides across the desk, all set to tug your hand closer as he mumbles it. 
Then fucking Murphy arrives. 
Him slamming a mug down next to the bottle, muttering about crashing the party as he massages his temple and slides back into his chair. 
It consumes him. The thoughts which he has let run free in the brief moment with you. How he’d fill you and make you hiss his name and make you come undone until you had no thoughts left. 
If he thinks he’s alone, you show your cards when he’s helping you move your bed. 
Your eyes are on him as he leans against the metal frame, staring off as he processes how he will have to move it. He doesn’t notice that the edge of his tan shirt has risen until he feels your eyes on him. 
“Arepas!” 
He flinches, ripped from his thoughts as he blinks, turning to look at you, watching you shift on the spot, a slow realisation coming to him as to why you shouted it. A smirk so large spreading, not even trying to hide it. 
“I haven’t… I haven’t even fuckin’ done anything.”
You fold your arms, trying to ignore the heat in your cheeks, the pulse in your ears. “Yes, well… I’ll move the bed myself.”
“Bonita?”
“—I gotta go—“
“This is your room.” 
But you’re already heading to the door, flustered. He calls your name, but you’re gone—leaving him with only your scent and the last trailing sound of your voice. 
For a second, staring at the empty doorway, not hating it for one minute, all of it evidenced by the growing smirk on his face. 
The one not easily rid, even by the end of the day.  
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“Your room is…. nice?” He sniggers, grabbing his jacket as you stand awkwardly. “Y’alright, bonita?”  Swallowing, you narrow your eyes when they land on him. Not cutting, but assessing. “Why have I heard from two separate people that they’ve been warned from me?”  Shrugging his shoulders, he slides his arms into his jacket, frowning—painting it on thickly, maybe even by too much.  “Javi.” “What?”  You look at him, challenging him. Looking every bit like the secretary he met in Bogotá and less like the friend he’s come to know you as.  “Did you warn people from asking me out?”  Adjusting his jacket, he sighs. “Yeah. I did.” 
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Javi knows many things about you. 
Some he has learnt against his will, others he’s learnt from watching you. One thing he knows, more than anything else, is that you’re never late. Not even if the world was on fire. 
It’s why it coils inside him when he’s standing at the stairwell waiting for you. It chills him, prickles something inside. And then, it knots as his watch ticks on ripples out as more seconds become minutes. 
He must shift, stress rolling off of him as he finds Steve’s brow raised, flicking his eyes up at him before shaking his head. 
“Go on. I’ll let Messina know you’re both on your way.”
He doesn’t thank him, even if he makes a note to do so later. His feet taking the steps two at a time. Palm brushes over people as he moves them so he can get to your door quicker. 
It’s his sole thing, a crystallising focus that glimmers like a goal, a light around your door as he makes a beeline for it. For you. Not slowing or stopping until he’s outside of it, his knuckles hammering into it.
He tries not to smirk at the expletives he hears, the mix of English and Spanish coming from the other side. The beautiful blend he’s heard so often when you’ve dropped food, wine or burnt yourself. 
“One minute—“
“It’s me, bonita.”
He expects to hear a noise. Javi doesn’t expect a pause. A lengthy one.
“Oh.”
Oh? He thinks. 
“Um, Javi, just gimme….”
It bubbles. 
It fucking roars. It produces steam and fire—all of it feeling a lot like jealousy. Because: do you have someone in there with you? His jaw tightens at the idea, almost snapping into pieces, hammering against his feet. He hears a loud crash to the floor, shattering. His mind conjures images of two pairs of feet (at best), two awkward souls trying to move around one another littered by a sea of expletives and hisses.
“Bonita… open the f—door.” 
He doesn’t mean to use a tone. Unable to cage it, the fury which doubles and triples inside of him. Only just about managed to stifle the word fucking from being in the sentence.
Javi regrets it when you rip open your door, standing with more skin on show than he’s ever seen. Your privacy is covered by the thinnest pieces of black lace possible—lace that would be easy to snap, to rip from you as he drags his eyes up and down.
Unable to think; unable to process—
“I overslept.”
“…Bonita…”
“I am running late.”
“I can see that.” 
You jab him, light, making your body twist as you do. Something he can’t tear his eyes from, least of all when you turn, his feet following. It’s autopilot as he shuts your door behind him, not hearing another person—the anger and jealousy simmering at knowing you’re alone. 
You’re just… in your underwear. 
Around him. 
“Arepas.”
“What?” you call out, bending down, grabbing clothes as he averts his eyes. 
His brain forces his feet to come to a stop, his hand adjusting himself as he tries to swallow. Because whatever he’d imagined you’d look like, has just been beaten—you’re… fucking gorgeous. 
“Nothing,” he manages, staring around your place. Finding a bottle of half-drunk wine on the desk—sat beside one glass. “You had a fun night without me?” 
You laugh, turning to face you, finding you with trousers on. “I… I’m struggling to sleep… here.” 
He can relate. 
“How was Gabby?” 
He pulls a face, wiping a hand over his face. “Yeah—she’s fine.” 
You fasten your blouse, moving towards him, closer and closer, until you’re in front of him, and his mind is fucking blank. 
“You’re standing over my shoes, Javi.” 
It shouldn’t stick to him—your words. But they do. How they’re sickly sweet, how they clag and cling to the edges of his mind as he tries to concentrate. He’s typing, and then he’ll replay it, fingers pausing on the heavy keys of the typewriter. 
Fuck. 
Not able to tear his fucking eyes off of you. Not that you have noticed. You barely look his way with the mountain of shit Messina’s given you to do in one day. Hammering down on you, reminding them all they can’t make mistakes—more so since the toilet debacle. The heaviness of how close they’d been weighed on them. All of them.  
So close. 
He watches you stand up, calling after someone as you do a little run in your heels until there’s none of you left to watch. Staring at where you’d been, somehow still flickering between seeing you the way he saw you this morning and the well-put-together version just in here. 
“What’s up with you?
“Nothing.”
Steve snorts, leaning against the wall. “Y’sure?”
“Yeah.”
“‘cause you look like—“
“She answered the door in her fuckin’ underwear.”
Steve widens his eyes, pulling out his cigarettes. “And that’s something you’ve not seen before?”
He glares. Chewing a retort as he furiously stubs out his cigarette. 
“Alright, so, now what?”
“I have no fucking idea.” 
“Your word come in use?” 
He shoots another glare, watching his partner hold his hands up. 
“Not fucking helping, Murphy.” 
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“The fuck you mean she was sent to take some papers?” Him storming out of the building, hearing Murphy close behind. Not thinking. Thumb brushes over his fingers as something surges through him. Thumping. Building. Pushing past people, moving out of the way from the ones he comes into contact with, stepping out into the warm air as he sees hell. Men bleeding, carried by other men. His heart in his throat, furiously pounding, unsure where to start, where to go— Then he sees you.  Time slows, people coming to a halt as he watches you and his feet begin to move. His hands guide him past people, walking and walking until he pulls you close—not caring for the blood on his shirt from your head, or the way you whimper when you crash into him.  He meets your eyes, staring into them, finding his throat dry as he brushes your cheek with his thumb. “Arepas.” “Arepas…” you whisper, resting your head on his shoulder. 
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When it rains, it pours. 
It’s what he thinks as he sinks another glass, elbowing digging into the desk, all set to shout at Messina to leave him alone, suspecting she had returned. 
But then, he’d seen you. 
Face lit up by the yellowing light, a softness to your features and a shyness to your frame. 
Javi isn’t sure what he’s expecting. Whether the guilt would shift at the sight of you, whether the sadness would stop laying on thickly. 
For a second, nothing happens. 
He doesn’t move. You don’t move. 
And then he’s standing, and you’re crossing the room, pulling him close, hands around him as you keep him close. It’s friendly, he thinks—suspects. A simple hug. Something the two of you have done only a handful of times, but twice so recently. 
In the fog of regret and alcohol, he can barely convince himself, his grip on it lost when you’re in his lap. His face in your neck, bathed in you—the distinct scent which clings to some of his clothes, the warmth he feels when he knows he shouldn’t. 
It’s easy, simple—and also everything. 
Shards of himself held in place by your grip on him, his own hand placing the glass down so he can clutch you that much tighter. 
It isn’t him. A thing he’s acutely aware of, yet he buries his face into your neck. Breath dancing along your neck, feeling you still, wondering if you’re thinking the word as he is when you pull back, eyes meeting his. 
“Oh, Javi…”
He chews his tongue, lessening his hold on you. Allowing you to move—giving you free rein to leave. 
“Messina send you?” 
You stand, tilting the bottle beside the glass, staring at the label. Your silence fills the gaps, finding the cracks of regret and guilt, layering itself thickly in it. 
Answer me, he thinks. Almost wanting to command it. 
“Boni—“
“No,” you say, curt, sharp. 
Your eyes dig in, taking a step back, running the back of your hand over your forehead. 
“Didn’t… I haven’t even seen her.” 
He could speak, but it would be useless. No words can conjure that would make any of it okay—heaviness adding in bulk to his shoulders as he stands. Making his legs feel like jelly and his spine wanting to bend. 
And then, he’s walking towards you, your back meeting a wall as he presses you against the wall, keeping you close. Just like you were minutes ago. 
He traces the tip of his nose against your cheek, catching the scent of your perfume. Your eyes are on him, watching his movements as he places his hand on your hip. 
“Arepas…”
He snorts, pressing his forehead softly against yours. “You want me to stop, bonita?” 
Your lips twitch, eyes flicking. 
A thousand thoughts dashing and darting in the shades he has memorised. Then you’re moving closer, mouth delicately pressing against his—testing, teasing. Saying no wordlessly.
It’s easy to return it, to give in—to kiss you like he has thought about since your name fell from your lips. A  thousand missed moments and building will-they-won’t-they slamming into the both of you. 
It’s why it shifts, his mouth not being gentle, his grip more desperate. His tongue sliding past your teeth, your hips flush against his as you curl your fingers into his hair. 
He’s on fire. Scorched. Changed. 
Flashes of you standing in the doorway in your underwear blending with the feel of you right now, how your lips move against his like the two are you well-versed in kissing one another. 
“Dreamt about you, bonita.” 
You murmur at his words, whimpering at his teeth, latching on the space under your lobe and neck. 
“Thought of the sounds I’d make you make….”
“Fuck, Javi...” 
Your nails dig into his neck, pulling and twisting him so you can marry your lips back to his. You kiss him like you want to conquer him, and own him. Something you’ve done since the moment you met—something he responds with how he licks into your mouth. Just pausing at your moan, tasting it—capturing it.
Your lips part as you clutch his cheek, breath ghosting as he lets dark brown wash over you. “I’m here. I’m here, Javi.” 
He knows what you mean, what you’re implying: I’m here, you need someone, I’m yours. 
The sound of him swallowing sounds louder, sharper—even against his ears as he flicks his sight over you. You’re better than it, better than him. You’re too good, too perfect—something he doesn’t want to break, snap or ruin. 
Sometimes, you’re the only thing that feels untouched, unblemished. You were the one who saw him after he’d gotten back from the brothel. When Carillo…
He blinks, finding your fingers still on his cheek, eyes still on him—but he’s unsure if he’s misheard you. Misunderstood. 
You don’t do quick fucks.
But you’re clever. You’re always fucking clever. Kissing him, hooking a finger in a belt loop, pulling him flush. As you show him that you mean it. 
“Need you, Javi. Just you.” 
He growls, moving you to push you down on the awkward, creaking bed. He watches dumbfounded as your fingers begin to aid the removal of your clothes. Exposing skin, inch by inch, to him—looking every bit inviting as you have done since the first day he fucking met you. 
Throwing your trousers to some distant corner, he parts your knees with his waist, pushing the damp green lace to the side, as he coats his finger in your want. 
“Javi…” 
“You suit green, bonita.” 
He eases a finger in, watching your mouth part as he does. 
“But, I can’t stop picturing that black set.”
“Like it, did you?” 
It’s breathy, desperate. Your lips ghost over his as he stiffens, pausing his ministrations, needing to look you in the eyes.
“It’s all I’ve thought about since, bonita.” 
Leaning over, he captures your moan, sliding in another finger as his name vibrates against his lips. Your eyes are so full of adoration, lust and want—it almost shatters him—but it’s the desperation that coils around him. The neediness which is falling from your lips makes him want more. 
He’s thorough, listening to your whines, finding each place inside you that makes you twitch and moan. He’s learning you, studying every inch, so he can please you from the get-go—if he ever gets the chance again. 
It’s his knuckle that undoes you the first time, rolling quick circles around the bundle of nerves which has fingers in his hair and your breath against his cheek. 
Javi, fuck—you, Javi, you. 
His breathing is shallow when you come down, feeling your hands—shaky but determined—tugging him to join you in being naked, his hand grabbing the one thing he needs outside of you. 
“Wanna taste you, but need to fuck you, bonita. Can I? Can I fuck your pretty pussy?” 
You groan, kissing his jaw and his neck. A chorus of yes and pleases bless his skin as his teeth rip the wrapper, fingers expertly sliding it over his length to not waste time. 
And then, your fingers leave bruises as you tug on his chin, pulling his eyes to you. A thought rolls, building; Tell me I’ve not ruined this. That I’ve not fucked up another thing. 
“Yours, Javi. I’m yours.”
His hand clutches your cheek, fingers pressing against your ear and hairline as you nod. His mouth smothers yours, stealing a moan, air and whatever thoughts were trying to populate. He does so as he lines himself up with you, when you wrap him in warm bliss. 
Your fingers on his shoulders, digging in, please move, Javi. And then, his hips move with yours, something swelling inside of him, a thing which makes it hard to stop kissing you, to ever want to stop being between your thighs—
He doesn’t usually fuck like this. 
It starts that way, but never ends that way—and yet here he is. Never with them on their backs, eye to eye, lip to lip. But then, you’ve never been them. You’re nothing like them. 
And he won’t move, can’t. He slides his tongue past your teeth and grips your hip that bit tighter as he feels your walls grip him desperately. 
“Feel so good, Javi—y’fuck me so good.” 
He knows. 
Knows because you’re fucking heavenly—perfection sent just for him. Something he whispers into your lips, lets you taste it as he feels you getting closer and closer. 
Then he just hears you. And the sound is prettier than his mind could ever conjure.
Just feels you. And it's better than he ever thought it could feel.
Then, there's nothing else, until he feels pleasure—until it’s white light and your name spluttering from his lips. Your hands in his hair, hips slowing with his as his lips sloppily find yours.
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“We should talk.” You frown, looking over your desk as he leans both palms down. “Bonita… we had sex.”  “A few times, if I recall.”  “You… you seem rather calm about this?”  You smirk, lifting your mug to your lips. “Should I not be?”  He’s silent, uncharacteristically so. Never short of words, not with you. “Javi, I almost fucking died… then Carrillo… I-I needed… I just needed you.”  “Bonita…” “I don’t need pity. Do not worry. I’m not expecting anything, I know you, I’m not complicating this, and I’m not asking to change you. I like you as you are, and I know for you, last night for you was just a one-night thing—”  He whispers your name, wrapped in confusion and surprise— Your hand pats his chest, “—and I’m off to the funeral. Please try not to drown yourself in whiskey while I’m gone.”  “You know I’m not going...” Smiling, you let your fingers linger on his shirt button, twisting it. “You don’t do funerals—it was one of the first things you told me.”  Letting your hand drop before you walk away, leaving him with his thoughts. 
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It unravels. 
Looking every bit like the day he’d been running around the ranch, knocking into the table beside his momma’s armchair, watching in horror as spools of cotton spread out. They ran uncontrollably away, undoing in a fit of rainbow shades and mess. It had taken him an age to fix, fingers raw from cotton against his fingers. 
That’s what it was like now—except he wasn’t sure he could fix it.  
If anything, he knows he can't.
He realises it when he tells you. A wave of disappointment ascended and crashed in your eyes until you looked at him with an expression painted in worry. It makes him want to kiss it from you, but your hand brushes his cheek—keeping him where he was, close but not too close. 
Don’t… What? Worry about you? Yeah, I don’t… I don’t deserve it.  Tough, Javi. I’ve worried about you since the moment you bought me food truck food and told me I had sauce on my chin.  Why's that? You just seemed like someone who I needed to worry about.
He wanted to kiss you differently then. Softly—gently. Almost greedily. Show you the words he wishes he could say easily. Let you feel how much he adores you, how much he cares, that he even wants to…  
Javi doesn’t. 
His brain too quick to remind him that you deserve solid truths, not hopeful lies. Tells himself that he’s anything with him will end in ruin, evidenced by the way things keep crumbling, the grip on helping having become closer to hurting. 
He tries to build walls to keep you out, ones you chip out with more force than he bargained for. Your nails pulling at bricks, eyes burning through gaps: Do not keep me out, Peña. 
So he stops. The energy wasted, even if he wants nothing but to protect you. Doing poorly at it—so much so he doesn’t realise you’re even swept up in it. Not in the moments where he comes find you for a moment of reprieve in the swirling hurricane he created.
You look like shit. Tell me how you really feel, bonita. Javi... I'm fine. You're not. No, I'm not.
He could kick himself when he realises it.
Only seeing it when he returns to the base, stopping short of your desk and finds it bare. No mug. No papers. No little notes you write yourself so you never forget a thing.
Bare. Empty.
There's no scent of your perfume and the air is absent of your laugh.
You had always found him, whether in his room, in a cupboard, at his desk. But, he hadn't thought to look for you today. Just put it aside, suspecting he'd find you later.
"Shit."
Sweat pools at the base of his back as he heads to Messina's. Hating himself, wondering if you'd been questioned. He'd never even tried to make sure you were okay with the knowledge of what he had done, what he continued to do in an effort to fix it. 
I’m here, Javi. I'm yours, Javi. 
He knows you are a part of the fallout when he sees Stechner behind Messina's desk.
It confirming it. Almost wanting to cut him off from saying your name—not wanting to hear it from his lips. Stechner says it anyway, as though knowing. Purposefully adding more poison to it and accompanying it with a cold smirk. One which almost makes him grip the man by the arm and land his fist in his teeth. 
You should have stayed in your lane…
Everything tightened inside of him. While everything around him crumbled, slowly crashing down: the walls, the ceiling—the pretence.
It makes his blood run cold, his heart crack right in the centre.  
Ambassador wants to see you. Get your passport. 
Tightening his jaw, he hammers his feet up the stairs, taking them two by two. Needing his room, needing a moment.
His hand rubbing over his face, mind populated with memories—ones both good and bad. Your voice swirling around them. Your smile, your laugh, all appearing before they burst, showering him in a mess of confetti he’ll never be able to clean. One he doesn’t want to, if they all he has left of you. 
He tries to think of his passport. Where it could be. The location of it in the mess of his room—trying not to wonder, worry or think about where you are. What his mess has done to you. 
Opening the door, he comes to a halt when he finds both standing in the centre of the room. 
Time comes to a stop. His heart pausing mid-slam into his ribs, the pain rippling out, as he takes you in. Watching your fingers and hand slowly rise, holding not one, but two passports, letting out a sigh of relief. 
“Hi.” 
He lets the door shut behind him, suddenly able to breathe. The weight, the one crushing him for ages, finally stepping up from him, allowing air to fill his lungs, allowing his chest to rise and fall as you softly smile. 
“Bonita… what… how?” 
“I handed my notice in… Messina, she knew about—she advised me, said it would buy me more time. It did—has. Stechner—” 
It takes three strides—three—and even those felt long before his lips crashed into yours, silencing you, not wanting your pretty lips to ever mouth his name. Feeling your hand, the one clutching the passports, against his shoulder and the other on his hip. Pulling him in, wanting him—even still. 
He feels like he’s dreaming, until you bite his lip. Smirking against his lips as the two of you part. The feel of it bringing him back to earth, trying not to overthink it and let the moment ruin.
Javi just holds you—like he should have done earlier this morning when he'd seen you, and from the very beginning.
Pulling you close as he humanly can, for as long as he’s able to. Doing so selfishly until both of you are just staring at one another, the gap so thin between you, you’re not all in focus.
“Ask me.”
His knuckles slide along your cheek, knowing what you’re implying. Something coiling at what you’re suggesting—something he’d thought about days ago. Regretted not asking minutes ago… 
“Javi.” Your fingers wrapping around his chin. “Ask me or let me go….” 
Clearing his throat and licking his lips—sighing. 
Wanting to. Nothing compelled him more. But the wounded part, the one which is sore and raw, tells him not to. To put distance, space, time—and fucking everything else—between you both. 
To protect you. To love you from afar. 
“Be with me.”
Smiling, you whisper, “Please?” 
“Please,” he adds, a light smirk threatening to spill. 
You let your fingers slide over it, the little crease at the end of the hair on his upper lip. “I’m yours, Javi. All yours.” 
“You have to know what that means, bo—”
“I already know,” you cut him off, fingers dancing along his cheek. "I don't care."
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an: thank you for reading, feel i should apologise for the length ha!
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lnfours · 1 year ago
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tolerate it | l.n
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summary: if it’s all in my head, tell me now. tell me i’ve got it wrong somehow.
warnings: happy folklore/evermore season :) angst, language, fears of your partner falling out of love with you, slight anxiety and overthinking, fluffy ending bc i can’t make them stay mad at each other. kinda wanna do an evermore/folklore mini series, let me know if you guys would be interested <3
masterlist | listen
₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊
the colder weather meant the sun was starting to set earlier, and it was evident as you gazed out the window, sitting at the dining room table. the candle you had lit an hour or so ago flickering softly, illuminating the room with a soft glow as the gloomy sky hovered above.
you sighed to yourself, taking another sip from the wine glass that sat next to your plate. you tapped on your phone screen, lighting up and displaying the time and the picture you had set as your lock screen. the 5:30 hovering tauntingly above the picture of you and lando from a few months back, your smile wide and trying to hide it in his shoulder as he held his camera to the mirror. he was sporting a smile also, you could almost hear your shared giggles through the photo.
he was supposed to be home an hour ago, and nights like this were happening more often. he’d always be an hour to an hour and a half late getting home. it was always an apology, saying ‘training ran late’ or the quadrant shoot ‘ran on longer than it was supposed to’, you’d see him for fifteen minutes while the two of you ate dinner, and then he’d go off to the office until he decides to join you in bed later in the night.
at first, you didn’t complain, knowing he was a man with a busy schedule, but after almost two months of this same song and dance, your anxiety was getting the best of you.
what if he was out with someone else? what if he was slowly losing interest in you? what if he just tolerates you?
the sound of the door closing pulled you from your thoughts, snapping your head up as you heard footsteps enter the room. he placed his keys, wallet and phone on the counter, frowning softly.
“sorry i’m late,” here we go again, “i told max i needed to be home by 4 and he insisted we played another round before i left.”
you nodded, taking another sip from the glass on your right, “‘s fine.”
he watched you swallow thickly, tilting your head to look back out the window. he noticed the way your hand tapped against your arm softly, his eyes moving to the plates set on the table. your grandmother’s china.
his heart dropped when he thought back to your conversation the other night, him saying the two of you would have a proper sit down meal tonight since he felt bad for running late lately.
and he just fucked it all up even more.
“you don’t have to lie,” he said, making you advert your attention back to him, “i know you know it’s not fine.”
you shook your head, “what’s it matter to you, anyway?”
he knew he deserved the digs and jabs you were sending his way, “seriously, lando, if you’re not interested in me anymore just say it instead of making me play this stupid game.”
the silence that fell between the two of you after was the final blow. he watched your cheeks glisten in the soft candle light, and fuck, he hated seeing you cry. especially when it was because of him.
he didn’t know what to say as your chair scraped the floor, getting up from your spot at the table and picking up your plate. the food untouched as you grabbed the saran wrap from the pantry.
he heard your quiet sniffle, “i’m so sorry, y/n-“
“then where have you been the past two months?” he blinked back at you before you continued, “every single day it’s the same, overused excuse. so, what is it really, lando? enlighten me.”
he swallowed because he didn’t have answer that didn’t sound like he was making an excuse. he really had been busy with work, but he knew he could’ve done better with planning to make more time for you and him.
you knew he loved you with every fiber of his being, but you were upset. you were angry and sad and all you wanted was for him to come home and spend time together like the two of you used to do. but it was like it was too much to ask for.
of course you knew what you were signing up for when he took you on your very first date, but you didn’t know it would mean being put on the back burner, begging to be let in on the things going on his life.
his silence made you nod, “right,”
he reached out to you slowly, not sure how you would react. you bit down on your bottom lip, the dam breaking now as he stepped towards you.
“y/n,” he said your name softly, understanding that your lash-outs were because of men who had hurt you in the past, knowing too well what it felt like when anxiety and over thinking takes over. he couldn’t be mad at you, he just wanted to make things right. make you feel reminded that he loved you. more than racing, more than his friends, more than anything in the whole world.
the back of your hands were raised to your eyes when he grabbed them and pulled you closer to him, letting your body rest against his chest. you gave in, knowing that at the end of the day, he was your safe place. your shoulder to cry on, the one who always saw you in your most vulnerable stages. there was no getting past him with this one.
your hands wrapped around his middle loosely as you cried softly into his chest. he rested his head against yours, rubbing your back the same way he always did whenever he’d comfort you. his lips pressed against your hair before he grabbed your face gently, lifting your chin to have you look at him.
he wiped the tears from your cheeks, eyes searching yours and that’s when you realized he had been crying too, “i’m gonna talk to my trainer and the guys and tell them i need a little bit of a break, and you and i are gonna spend every single day together doing whatever you want.”
you felt selfish now, “but this is your job, lan,”
“i don’t care,” he said, shaking his head as he moved his hand to hold your cheek, “they’ll be fine if i take a few days off.”
your hand came up to mimic his on your cheek, your fingers brushing against the small moles on his face. the same ones your lips press against whenever you kiss his face. the pads of your thumbs brushed away the small tear lingering around his nose.
“i’m sorry,” you apologized, feeling guilty for being cold to the boy who loved you like no other.
“don’t apologize,” he said, “i should’ve done better. you don’t deserve to feel like you’re on the back burner of my life.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck as his snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as if it was even possible. you looked back out the window, the light from the golden hour sun shining on the trees in the backyard. he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, “i love you.”
you smiled softly, pulling back to meet his gaze. your smile making his lips turn up into one mirroring yours, “i love you, too.”
he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, a mixture of the wine you had with dinner and the salty tears you had cried a few moments prior with the subtle hint of your chapstick.
you both pulled away, him taking you by surprise when he lifted you off the ground. you squealed, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you clung onto his hoodie for dear life.
“lando!” you laughed, letting him carry you to the couch and thanking yourself for putting his dinner plate in the fridge earlier.
you had your boy back.
953 notes · View notes
zepskies · 9 months ago
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Take Me Home - Part 1
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Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader 
Summary: You are another lost soul at Sunny Day Excursions. You’re aiming to settle in Helena, Montana, where Beau Arlen is the new sheriff in town. But you’ve both got a past you’re running from. 
AN: Welcome to my first ever Big Sky series! I’ve been wanting to get to this for a while now. I’m so glad I finally get to start sharing this with you! I truly hope you enjoy the ride. (Note: This is set towards the beginning of season 3.)
Song Inspo: “Fly Away” by John Denver. And remember, you can listen to the full Take Me Home Playlist ⬅️ here.
Word Count: 4,400
Tags/Warnings: A bit of angst, a bit of setup, “Glamper Girl,” and a side helping of cops enjoying baked goods…
❤️ Series Masterlist
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Part 1: All of Her Days
“This really feels like cheating,” you mused.
Yet again, you surveyed the sheer size and luxury of this tent you were supposed to be “camping” in.
Between the giant king-sized bed with crème and burgundy comforters, a two-seater dining table, a dresser (with a vanity), and even a small bookshelf, it looked like the Taj Mahal of glamping.
“Can’t you just enjoy it?” your best friend replied, poking a teasing finger into your side. She smirked when you flinched and gave her some playful side-eye. “My parents are the ones footing the bill, anyway.”
“Of which, I intend to pay them back for my half,” you said. Mary just rolled her eyes and waved you off. Her parents’ money was something she’d never had a problem spending.
“Come on, they’re getting ready to go on the hike without us,” she said, tossing her little purse over her shoulder. You were a bit more practical with your backpack, filled with a bottle of water, a couple snacks, bug spray, and your sketch pad.
Mary bumped your shoulder with hers as you two walked out of the tent, and you gave her a smile. You were glad she insisted on this little week-long excursion. It gave you exactly five more days to enjoy the fresh air of no responsibilities, before you returned to reality.
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“So where are you guys from?” you asked a couple of walking companions on the early-morning hike.
The woods of Helena, Montana were vast and deep, and you found them a bit intimidating. You were a city girl, through and through, but you were learning to appreciate the mountains and the steep trails flanked by dense trees. You were also grateful that you weren’t alone. 
Emily seemed to be a nice girl around sixteen, while her stepfather Avery was a lightly graying man in his 40s. You pegged his accent as English, the “casual posh” kind. On a scale from Dame Maggie Smith to Dick Van Dyke's attempt at cockney, you’d put Avery on a Benedict Cumberbatch level.
“Well, I met her mother in Houston,” Avery replied, nodding at the girl beside you. “She and Emily joined me here in Helena after we were married this past spring.”
Emily confirmed with a nod. “Yep, starting school here in a few months.”
At that, you could smile. “Me too, actually.”
Emily gave you a confused look while she fiddled with an app on her phone.
“What? You’re still in school?” she asked.
“No,” you laughed. “I’m—”
“She’s a college professor,” Mary tacked on. “AKA: a giant nerd.”
Emily tried not to smile at your expense. You just shook your head at your friend.
“Thanks,” you said wryly, despite your amusement. “We can’t all be personal trainers. One can only take so much Spandex.”
Mary rolled her eyes and prepared to fire back a retort, but your attention shifted back to Emily, who seemed to be debating whether to press a red button on her phone. You thought it looked like a voice recording app.
You followed her line of vision and saw Paige and Luke up ahead—a young “happy couple” here at Sunny Day Excursions. They were whisper-yelling at each other, sniping something about Luke’s birthday. Apparently, he had a problem with getting another year older.
Don’t we all, you thought, with no small amount of sarcasm. The guy had been a sour apple since the start of this trip, and to be honest, he was starting to get on your damn nerves.
“This is like, prime time stuff for my podcast,” Emily whispered.
You looked over at her. “Oh yeah? What’s your podcast about?”
“Relationships, lies, that sort of thing,” she replied.
You almost grimaced. Good luck finding willing subjects for that one.
Mary snickered on your other side. She leaned close to your ear so only you would hear.
“God, Paige’s voice is so effing annoying. Like a chipmunk on helium,” she said. “I feel sorry for him.”
You shot her a dry look. “He’s the one asking for it, if you ask me. But they’ve been going at it the whole time. Makes me feel sorry for both of them.”
You shook your head and kept walking on the trail. Mary sobered as she stared back at you. She was reminded of why you two were really here, and what you’d been through this past year…
What you all had been through.
You and Mary fell behind Avery and Emily on the trail, giving Mary the opportunity to touch your arm and stop you in the middle of the trail.
“Do you really plan to stay here?” she asked. “In dusty-ass Montana? With the snakes and the bears and the old hicks?”
“Well, I got the key to my apartment before we got here,” you said. And she knew that. “My aunt is letting me crash with her until the rest of my things ship over in a couple of weeks, and I start a new job in the fall. So yeah, I’m staying.”
Mary’s lips pursed. She gave you a long look, but you held your ground. You even popped your Airpods in for good measure. You were done with this conversation.
She huffed and kept walking.
You watched your friend go in annoyance. You knew she would try to talk you out of your decision at some point on this trip, but you hadn’t expected it to be so soon.
Heaving a sigh, you looked up at the clear sky above you, filtered through the tall trees. You took a moment to collect yourself in this great big no man’s land, where you could finally let yourself slow down for a minute, and breathe.
You raised the volume in your Airpods when a particular song came through.
“All of her days have gone soft and cloudy. All of her dreams have gone dry,” crooned the soft melody. You nodded to the rhythm of the mellow notes, but all the while, you tried to blink through the sting of tears.
“All of her nights have gone sad and shady. She's getting ready to fly…”
You rubbed your left hand, where you still had the tan line of the ring you used to wear.
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“It’s really okay, sweetie,” Mary tried to console you, rubbing her hand between your shoulders.
After the hike, you all had returned to camp and sat down to brunch. It was an amazing spread, with waffles and muffins and Danishes, eggs done three different ways, toast with jam, assorted sandwiches, coffee and orange juice (and sparkling wine for the adults).
But even with a huge plate of appetizing food in front of you, you were sulking a bit. You had your face covered by your hands as you rested your elbows on the table.
“One of my only goals on this trip was to ride a damn horse, and I couldn’t even do that,” you said.
Sunny Barnes and her husband Buck were the heads and hosts of this whole trip. And after the hike, their son, Cormack, had tried to help you onto the nice chestnut mare the handler had brought out of the stable for you. But your entire body had locked up in fear at the prospect of being vaulted onto the horse.
In fairness, she was huge. And you were both afraid of heights, and animals that could buck you off its back and trample you.
You hadn’t been able to speak. You just shook your head vigorously every time Cormack asked you if you were okay.
So he’d graciously patted your back and gave the mare to Emily instead.
“I’ve never been able to ride a horse either,” Avery offered in commiseration. You lowered your hands and gave him a wan smile.
Emily was carving an apple with an impressive (and somewhat scary) looking pocketknife. She shrugged.
“It’s not so hard,” she said. But, perhaps realizing how she sounded, she looked up and gave you an apologetic look. “Sorry. I mean, I’m sure you’ll get it! It’s hard in the beginning, but once you get used to it, it’s like riding a bike.”
Right. A bike with hooves, you thought, ripping a piece of bread from your egg and cheese sandwich.
Mary bumped your shoulder with a teasing smile. “You just got showed up by a high schooler. Again.”
You pursed your lips in amusement. You tossed the piece of bread. It hit her dead between the eyes. You giggled at the way she jumped with a start.
“Real mature,” she shot back.
“Yeah,” you replied, taking a giant bite of your sandwich for good measure. “I learned from you.”
Even Emily snickered, making Mary roll her eyes in amusement.
Shortly after, Avery and his stepdaughter were finished with brunch and got up to get back to their tents.
You glanced over and noticed that Emily had left her knife on the table, now closed in its sheath.
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Sheriff Beau Arlen may have still been relatively new in town, but he considered himself a consummate professional.
He’d agreed to accompany Cassie, the local private investigator (and his friend), up to this mountain pass to look for a missing backpacker. Questioning Buck and Sunny Barnes and their crew was just good old-fashioned, thorough police work.
But if it also gave Beau a chance to check on his daughter up here “glamping” with her half-baked stepfather, then he couldn’t pass up on that opportunity, now could he?
After talking to Buck and Sunny, who hadn’t seen hide or hair of the backpacker, Beau let Cassie take care of questioning Cormack Barnes while Beau found his daughter outside her tent. After giving her a big hug and inspecting her “tent” (Really? he thought. Looks more like a hotel room than a tent.), he asked her how her trip was going so far.
“Good, Dad. But you really didn’t have to come all the way out here just to check up on me,” Emily said. She was amused, but no longer surprised to see him.
“No, no, no. I didn’t, okay?” Beau refuted. Though at the look on her face, he knew he wasn’t fooling her. She was a sharp kid. “All right, maybe not the only reason. We had to talk to Sunny about a missing backpacker. It’s something Cassie’s investigating.”
Emily’s amusement faded into surprise, and then concern.
“Wait, what?” she said.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing. Just, you know…parents probably didn’t get the memo that ‘off-the-grid’ was part of the deal,” he said, giving her a meaningful raise of his brows. Maybe his daughter didn’t have to screen so many of his calls while she was on this trip.
“Overprotective parents, huh?” Emily dryly remarked.
“The worst,” Beau agreed, shaking his head.
But he smiled. Just seeing her made his whole week better…and it alleviated some of the hurt in his heart. Not getting to be with her on a trip like this stung. And knowing Avery was the one who got to be there for her grated on him.
Beau was already missing too much of his daughter’s life, and he still wasn’t too sure on how to deal with that.
Speak of the devil, he thought. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Avery approaching. Beau forced himself to look as close to pleasant as he could get around his ex-wife’s husband.
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While Mary went back to the tent to freshen up, you grabbed Emily’s pocketknife and went to look for her so you could return it. It had a wood-carved hilt and had her initials, E. A., engraved on the side. The knife looked special, not the kind of thing you wanted to lose.
You found her outside her tent with her stepfather, and a man you didn’t know. He had broad shoulders and short brown hair that swept above his brow. When he turned to look at you, the first thing you noticed was the cut of his bearded chin, and then the green of his eyes.
You didn’t realize it, but your insides stilled, just for a moment. Then you remembered to smile.
Avery looked a bit tense, as did the newcomer. You sensed you were interrupting a tete-a-tete. 
“Uh, hi. I’m sorry,” you said, and extended the sheathed knife toward Emily. “Just wanted to get this back to you. You left it at the table.”
“Oh! Thanks,” Emily said gratefully.
“Well, hi there,” said the new guy. He was tall, you noted, wearing a beige jacket over a buttoned-down shirt, some jeans, and boots. It was a casual look, but all worked very well for him…in a rugged cowboy sense.
“This is my dad,” Emily supplied.
“Sheriff Beau Arlen, ma’am,” he said, giving you a more friendly smile that you matched in kind when you shook his hand. You also gave him your name to go along with it.
“You here for a little belated vacation, Sheriff?” you added.
“No. Matter of fact, I’m here on police business,” he replied. That concerned you, but he was quick to wave a dismissive hand. “Everything’s okay here. Just checking on a missing backpacker. But it looks like we’ll have to continue our search for him elsewhere.”
You hummed at that in concern. “Well, I hope you find him.”
“I do too,” he agreed with a nod.
Then, Emily took the slight pause in the conversation as her chance to escape.
“Okay, Dad, well, we’re gonna go hike down to the lake,” she said, gesturing at Avery. “But as you can see, I’m fine. We’re fine.”
Beau’s smile became a bit tight, but he nodded in understanding. He gave her a big hug, and you could see he was reluctant to let her go. Avery stood behind them. He held tension in his shoulders. You felt a bit awkward yourself, being in the midst of what was clearly an uneasy family dynamic.
Beau released his daughter. After she took off with Avery following close behind, Beau turned to you next. You tried not to blush at the sight of his handsome face.
“Sorry, again,” you said, raising a placating hand. “I didn’t mean to intrude.”
His lips twitched upward, and he shook his head. “You’re fine. Though you don’t look like a local. You from outta town?”
I could say the same thing about you, cowboy, you thought. There was a slight southern drawl in his voice that sounded like Alabama. Maybe Texas?
“You got me,” you nodded. “I’m from Chicago originally, but…I’ve actually just moved here to Helena.”
“Ahh, a city girl,” he remarked. “Small world. I just got here a few months ago myself. Houston, Texas.”
Your smile brightened. Right on the money.
“Yeah, I figured,” you couldn’t help teasing him a little. His grin kicked up in the corner.
“How’re the mountains and fresh air treating you then?” he asked. “Better than that blanket a’ smog in Chicago.”
“We do not have smog…or, well, not that much,” you laughed, “but yes, I’m actually really liking it here so far. I mean, I just got here about a week ago. I’m still learning. Though Emily actually tried to help me ride a horse today.”
“Yeah?” His brows raised. “How’d that go?”
You had to laugh. A kind of self-deprecating laugh that had you half-covering your face to stem off your blush.
“Not well,” you admitted.
Beau ducked his head with a smile. He met your eyes in amusement, but not without kindness.
“Well, here’s a tip for ya,” he said. He planted his feet, held his hands up into lightly clenched fists. “The trick is in the legs. Grip tight, but not too tight. He’ll think you’re rarin’ to go.”
You blinked a bit wider. Was that just honest advice…or was he sort of flirting with you?
It made you blush in earnest.
“Ah. Good to know,” you said with a laugh. He treated you with a tip of his imaginary hat.
“Hey,” someone called out.
Both of your heads turned to a tall black woman with long curly hair. She gave you a polite smile before she nodded up at Beau.
“You ready to go?” she asked.
“Ah, yep,” Beau nodded. He gave you an apologetic look. “Sorry, gotta get back to the station.”
“Oh, of course,” you said. But you held up a finger. “Wait, just a sec.”
You hastened back over to the table of confections from brunch and offered them a chocolate chip muffin each for the road. Cassie politely declined, but Beau gladly took his.
“Although, are you trying to stereotype me or somethin’?” he teased.
Your brows furrowed in confusion, but after a moment, it hit you. You’d just given a cop a baked good.  
“At least it wasn’t a donut,” you quipped, despite your embarrassment. Beau still looked bemused, but he let you off the hook.
“That’s okay. I’ve never been known to turn down free food,” he assured.
“He really doesn’t,” Cassie confirmed. You noticed how she was waiting, arms crossed.
“Well, there you go! Sorry for keeping you,” you said.
“Not at all, darlin’,” said Beau. His smile had a charming gleam. “Nice to meet you.”
You quirked a smile back. “Wow, you are from Texas.”
You didn’t think you’d ever been called darlin’ in your life.
Beau’s good humor shifted into slight embarrassment himself.
“Sorry. I’ve been told to stop doing that,” he said. When he chuckled, you did along with him. You weren’t offended by it, just surprised by the old-fashioned endearment.
“It’s okay,” you said. “Nice to meet you too, Sheriff.”
You raised a hand in goodbye, and Beau returned it, watching you go. Meanwhile, Cassie watched him with a small smirk. He stepped down from the short platform in front of Emily’s tent to meet her.
“Were you just checking out Glamper Girl? In front of your daughter, no less,” Cassie remarked.
Beau shot her a look of denial. “I did no such thing. I’m a professional. And a gentleman, mind you.”
Cassie rose a brow at him. It stirred up a bit of his defensiveness. 
“But, I’ll have you know that Em had already moved on when I had a friendly conversation with the glamper,” he said.
Cassie rolled her eyes. Right.
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That afternoon, you decided to bring your sketchpad and your modest collection of paints to the lake. You sat on the bank and tried to paint, while Mary joined the others in swimming.
“That looks nice,” Emily’s voice startled you from behind.
You twisted to look at her, and she gave you an apologetic look. She was dressed to go for a swim in a one-piece bathing suit and some shorts. She seemed more of a conservative dresser than typical high school girls her age. Maybe that had something to do with a policeman being her father, or maybe that was just her personality.
“Sorry,” she said, raising her hands.
“It’s okay.” You waved it off and gestured for her to sit beside you if she wanted. She did so, admiring your work over your shoulder. You felt a little embarrassed by it, but you didn’t mind her watching you try to paint ripples of light on the water.
“Are you an artist?” she asked.
You shot her a smile. “You’re very sweet, but no. I just started this year.”
You’d just Googled some therapeutic techniques instead of, you know, going to therapy. You just knew that if you did, your aunt would probably tell your parents, who would never let you hear the end of it. Specifically, why it was a waste of time. Your father especially would have something to say.
But one of the sources you found suggested trying out some creative outlets to calm the mind and think productively, but not create more stress for yourself. You’d tried a few different things, but landed on painting. It was working for you so far, even if you didn’t think you were that good.
“How do you like Montana so far?” you asked your companion. “Your dad told me you guys just moved here too, a few months ago.”
“Yeah, when my mom got remarried, my dad moved to stay close to me,” Emily explained.
Your brows raised. Your painting hand paused with the brush near the page.
“Well, that’s a good father,” you said. You smiled at the thought of Beau Arlen. The way he hugged his daughter before, like she was his entire world, and the fact that he’d moved entire states just to stay with her, told you a great deal about the town’s new sheriff.
Emily nodded, but her lips were pressed. “He’s a bit overprotective.”
“Well, he is a cop,” You said, smiling. “I assume that’s just part of the package.”
“I get that,” she said. “It’s just…a bit much sometimes.”
You gave her a sympathetic look. “I understand. My dad can be like that too. He’s got his soft moments, but he can be a real tough nut too… He’s a retired fireman.”
“Wow, that’s cool,” Emily said. She looked impressed. “Did you ever want to be a firefighter?”
You chuckled. “No, and he never wanted me to. It just wasn’t my beat, anyway.”
In the many years before your father had risen in the ranks to firehouse chief, your mother had often worried about him when he was on shift. Being a firefighter in inner-city Chicago had brought some hard and dangerous calls.
But you had always been more bookish, and both your parents were grateful for that.
You sighed. Your paintbrush made a stroke of deep green on the page, creating darker shades in the bottom of the lake.
“I did end up dating one though. Almost married him too,” you muttered, before you could stop yourself. You forgot you were talking to an insatiably curious girl.
“Really? What happened?” she asked. You looked over at her, and she was staring at you with her full attention. You remembered then that her podcast was supposed to be about relationships, but you had no desire to be a subject.
“It didn’t work out,” you said at last, and with difficulty.
“Why?” Emily asked.
Your internal struggle kept you quiet. It gave time for Emily to really see the withdrawn, almost pained look on your face, the slight hunch of your shoulders. She deflated guiltily.
“Uh, sorry,” she said.
You offered a small smile. “It’s okay, honey.”
“I’ll uh, just let you get back to painting,” she said. You waved her goodbye after she got up and left, giving you one last look before she joined her stepfather in the lake.
You let out a deep breath. The teen was tenacious, and naturally curious. That in itself wasn’t such a bad thing. But as you watched her splash at Avery, laughing that weightless laugh that kids got to have, you realized how much you missed being that young and free in your heart.
Again, out of habit, you set down your brush and rubbed at your empty left ring finger.
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Mary finally joined you back in your shared tent after a long night of socializing by the fire. You had kept to the tent, reading Much Ado About Nothing for one of your classes that would start in the fall. It wasn’t your first time reading the Shakespeare play, by any means, but you did want to brush up on it.
“You know, you’re actually supposed to be vacationing on this vacation,” Mary pointed out. She started changing into her pajamas for bed. You were already cozy in one of your old college hoodies and some shorts, not to mention snuggled under the warm blankets.
“I am,” you said defensively. “I hiked, I painted, I ate no less than one burger, a basket of fries, and three smores, and now I’m reading.”
“Yeah, for school,” she pointed out. “I may not be as smart as you, but I know homework when I see it.”
You shot her a smile. “You’re plenty smart, M.”
She snorted and slipped into bed beside you. It felt like the sleepovers you two used to have in college, years ago, when she’d come to crash in your dorm, or you in hers. She’d been a philosophy major (despite not giving two shits about Socrates), forced to attend college by her parents. You were an English major, working three part-time jobs just to get you through until graduation.
“Hey,” she said, laying a hand on your shoulder. You turned to her in question. She seemed more serious than usual.
“I’m worried about you,” she said. “And I’m not the only one.”
You sighed. Lowering your book, you leaned back against your pillows and stared up at the tent’s fairy lights.
“I know,” you replied. “But you don’t need to be.”
“Yeah you keep saying that, but you know the real reason I’m here, right?” Mary asked. Her insistent hand on your arm made you meet her eyes.
“You don’t have to do this," she said. "You don’t have to move out here and leave everything behind. You should just come home with me. Your parents, our friends—everyone wants to be there for you, like we have all year.”
Your lips pursed, and you shook your head.
“I’m not going to change my mind. So if that’s really why you’re here, and not to just spend some time with me, as my friend, then you should just go home,” you said. “I’ll leave here and go to my aunt’s house. I’m sure your parents can negotiate some kind of refund.”
Mary got angry and huffy, just like you thought she would. You weren’t playing around though. This was your life, and your decision.
If your friends and your family couldn’t be happy for you, or at least understanding, then they could at least respect you. You just weren’t sure when they’d get the hint that this was real.
You were moving to Montana, permanently.
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On the drive back into town from the camping site, Beau ate his chocolate chip muffin and tried his best to listen to Cassie—to her theories on where the backpacker might’ve gone, and how best to tell the parents to keep her on this investigation.
A good part of him was still thinking about his daughter, wishing he could be there with her right now. 
And maybe, his mind occasionally wandered…thinking about the pretty shade of your eyes when you smiled at him.
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AN: And there we have it, Part 1 of a new series! If you liked it, please let me know! 🥰
And a special Happy Birthday to @jackles010378! 💖 I was going to say we're both Aries (mine is next month) but forgot Pisces comes first lol. ♓
Next Time:
The trees were tall and dark now. The moon was filtering through them like the sun had during other day hikes, but it was much more ominous at night.
“Shit,” you muttered. You gripped your flashlight in worry as panic started to well up in your chest.
Now you were lost.
You jumped with a start when the hoot of a bird passed by overhead.
Shiiiit. This was very bad.
You kept moving forward on what you thought was the trail. That was all you could do, keep moving forward. You made a few turns around some trees, occasionally calling out for Sunny, or Mary, or anyone to hear you.
▶️ Keep Reading: Part 2
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widowbitessting · 1 year ago
Text
Sugar Mommies Season 2, Pt:6
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Polite Reminder That All My Work - Especially For Sugar Mommies - Is 18+! Minors Do Not Interact.
“Hey darling, are you busy?”
You look up at Carol with a glare, pink barbie toothbrush in your sweaty palm; white bristles blackened from the grout you were being made to clean. 
You bite back the urge to swear at her, instead opting to force a toothy smile to your face. 
“Not really no, why?”
Carol, ever so smug, leans against the door frame with her arms crossed. 
“Are you sure, kitten? You seemed hard at work when I came in.”
“What do you want, Carol?” You can’t help the bite in your words. 
You’re really not in the mood.
“Oh stop pouting, princess; you earned this punishment yourself.”
She may have a point there. 
Carol continues on, “I warned you not to push me. And what did you do?”
“I didn’t listen, obviously.”
“Lose the attitude or I’ll have you clean the sidewalk too.”
“…sorry.”
A raised eyebrow makes you continue your apology. 
“Sorry Captain, I’ll stop being a brat.”
“There’s my good girl.” Carol crouches in front of you, balancing perfectly on the tip of her toes. You really have to fight the temptation to push her over. 
God. Your inner brat is thriving. 
“Tell me, my good thing. When do your classes finish?”
You brush some loose strands of hair from your glistening forehead. 
“Finish? For break?” 
“No love, when do you finish for the weekend?” 
“Oh!” 
“And did I say you could stop working? You’re still in your punishment, darling.” 
You automatically go back to scrubbing, pushing the bristles of the toothbrush into the cracks between the tiles a little more harder than needed.
“Answer the question, baby. I know that dumb brain struggles to comprehend simple questions sometimes but c’mon; I know you can do it.” 
“I…” You have to wrack your brain to think, “Wednesday. I think. I’m sure my Friday classes are cancelled.” 
“Think you can find out before the end of the day for me baby girl?” 
You look up at Carol and nod. 
“Sure. Why the rush?”
“I’m thinking of whisking you away after your last class until Monday. Does that sound good?” 
“A holiday?” 
“A mini one, yes.” 
You jump up and grab Carol into a hug, toothbrush clattering to the floor behind you.
She wraps her arms firmly around you.
“Where are we going?” 
“Do you really want me to tell you or do you want it to be a surprise?”
You don’t do well with surprises. 
At all.
“Just tell me!” You pause. “Please.” 
“Such a good girl, using her manners.” Carol presses a kiss to your nose. “I’m taking you to go and see Nat and Wanda.” 
You squeal so loudly you’re sure only dogs can hear it. 
Carol seems to be prepared for it as she doesn’t wince, instead choosing to grin down at you. 
You’re all but vibrating with excitement.
“We’re going to see them?!”
“Yes, sugar. Thought the news would cheer you up. Get you to stop pouting.”
“I wasn’t…” You trail off, fighting the urge to push out your bottom lip.
“Yes you were, my darling. Such a pouty little baby, hmm?”
She’s doing this deliberately. 
You’re already in trouble - your current predicament proves this - and Carol probably has another two, if not three, punishments already thought out. 
You’re really stumped at how to reply. 
Mercifully, Carol decides she has toyed with you enough.
“How about this: the sooner you finish your punishment, the sooner you can speak to Natasha and Wanda. I’m about to go and call them to discuss our trip…it’d be a shame if you were too busy pouting and being grumpy to speak to them, wouldn’t it?” 
“Huh?”
“You heard me. Get scrubbing, little girl.” 
“But I’ve only done half!” 
“Scrub fast.” 
She leaves you and the bathroom and you can only stare after her.
A second later, you hear her shout, “They have a present for you too, bunny!”
You perk up at the mere mention of a gift. 
“A present?” You call out, peering out of the doorway as Carol saunters away.
“Mhm. although, if you’re not there on the call with them then they might just return it…” 
You know she’s lying.
Heck, a toddler would be able to tell she’s lying. 
“You’re bluffing.” 
Carol turns to look at you. 
Her face is smug. 
So.
Freaking.
Smug.
“Try me sugar; see where that gets you.”
*
It’s safe to say, you never want to clean grout ever again. 
Your knees are throbbing, back sore like an 80 year old woman who's worked every day of her life; and you’ve cracked enough nails to know that Carol can pay for your next manicure appointment. 
You might even throw a pedicure and a chiropractic appointment in there too. 
But does that stop you barrelling out of the bathroom at full speed, with the toothbrush clattering behind you?
No. 
It does not. 
When you stumble into the room, Carol is saying her goodbyes and is about to press the hang up button.
“I’m here!”
“Timing on that, baby girl; you almost lost your present.”
You go to tear her phone from her hand but Carol moves it just out of your reach.
“Say please.”
“Please, Captain.”
“Good girl,” she pecks your cheek and hands you the phone. “You talk to them and I’ll inspect your work. Make sure you didn’t cheat and take any shortcuts.”
“I’m offended you’d ever assume I’d do that.”
The smirk on your face makes Carol roll her eyes and tap your nose. 
“I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay! The bathroom is glistening.” You say. “Take your shoes off!”
The faint “No!” has you giggling as you place Carol’s phone against your ear.
“Hi!”
“Well hello, naughty girl.” Natasha’s voice fills your ear. 
Your smile is officially cemented to your face. 
“I -”
There really isn’t any point in denying it.
“Yeah.”
Natasha tuts at you. 
“My, my, what are we going to do with you, hmm? A good grout scrubbing is a fairly decent punishment…but I know for a fact if I asked you to FaceTime us right now…you’d be smiling. You haven’t learnt your lesson, have you, kitten?”
“…I have…kind of.”
“Mhm. That really is believable.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“Then switch this to a FaceTime kitten. Prove me wrong.” 
Those final three words really are like the nail in your coffin. 
They grate down your bratty side, taunting and teasing you, and it makes your eye twitch. 
There’s no denying that Natasha did it purposely. 
In fact, you know she did. 
She knows how it works on you. 
Knows that you’ll be her good little submissive and do as she says.
Natasha knows you better than yourself at times.
Which is why, the second you press the FaceTime icon on the screen, you know you’ve made a huge mistake.
Natasha’s perfectly beautiful face comes into view, as does Wanda’s.
You can see them.
And they can see you.
Your eyes automatically lower in submission, smile sliding off your face. 
It doesn’t go unmissed by Natasha, eyebrow raising slightly as a smug smirk forms on her lips.
“Well, hello there, little brat.” 
“Hi…”
“Use my title.”
Your brain takes a second to buffer.
“Your…huh?” You risk a peek up and quickly look away again.
“My title. Just like I trained you to do.”
“...daddy.”
“Now use it in a sentence. Go on, kitten.” 
“..hi daddy.”
“There we go, pet. That wasn’t so hard now was it?” Natasha says, “we miss you, pumpkin.” 
All humiliation is quickly forgotten.
“I miss you two, too.” 
“But we will see you soon!” Wanda shouts, jumping up and down. “Wednesday, Carol says.”
“That’s in like 3 days!” You let out an excited squeal and flop down onto the bed, your h/c hair fanning out around your head. “I don’t think I can wait that long.” 
“Well there might be something to help…ease your tension, baby girl.” Natasha says. “Check under the bed for me?” 
You had completely forgotten about the gift.
“Oh!” 
You leave them on the bed as you dive underneath, snatching the gift bag before resurfacing with it clamped tightly in your hands. 
“I love presents!” 
“We know you do, baby.” Natasha smiles.
“Open it, I can’t wait to see what you think!” Ever Wanda the impatient one. 
You tear into, gift paper soaring over your head and as you reach into the bag, you tilt your head in confusion. 
“What is it?”
You inspect the wrapped package.
“It’s a toy.” Natasha says.
“A toy?” 
Looking back at this moment, you’re ashamed of how long it takes your brain to connect the dots and figure out what kind of toy it is. 
“What? Like a My Little Pony?” 
“No but it’s something else you can ride.” Wanda says with such a straight face, her joke washes over you.
“Oookay…” 
You tear the paper open and all but drop the box as if it electrocutes you, when your eyes see the word ‘g-spot’. 
“Oh my god.”
You’re red. Blushing crimson as you hastily cover your face and let out an embarrassed laugh. 
“You owe me $5.” Wanda says smugly. “I knew she wouldn’t act cocky.”
“Is that what I think it is?” You mumble, still hiding behind your hands.
“A sex toy?” Natasha says. “Yes, yes it is. We want you to try it out for us. Now.” 
That makes you peek up through your fingers. 
“Now?” 
“Yes, baby. Now. We haven’t had the time to play with you in so long. We miss you.” 
“I - I miss you but, on camera?” 
“You can do that for us, can’t you?” Natasha is staring at you. “If you’re uncomfortable, remember your signals, my love.”
“I - I’m okay, I just…”
“Shy?” Wanda asks. 
You look at the toy again and can’t help but smile in embarrassment. 
“...yeah…” 
“It’s just us, baby girl.” Wanda says. “You’re with us, you’re safe.” 
“Why don’t you open the box, hmm?” Natasha suggests, “have a look at what we got you.”
Your hands are shaking. 
Because why wouldn’t they?
The item is pink. 
Soft to touch, incredibly soft in fact. 
You keep the toy on your lap, so the two women watching you intently can’t see it.
“It’s big.” 
“It’ll fit, don’t worry. Once you’re worked up and ready to take it, it’ll fit.” 
“Can you read the name out for me?” Natasha asks.
You quickly look up and meet their eyes. 
“Why?”
“Because I’m selfish and I love to see my baby girl blush, that’s why.”
You push your face into your hands in an attempt to hide. 
“The G -” 
“Nu-uh.” Natasha stops you. “Let us see that beautiful face.” 
You shake your head.
“No?” 
You shake your head again.
“Look at me and say no. Go on, detka.” 
“I…can’t.”
“And why not?” 
“‘Cos…” 
“Wow, such a good reply. Stumped us there, baby girl.” Wanda’s reply makes you smirk, even though you try your hardest not to. 
“Now you’re ignoring orders?” Natasha’s voice wipes the smirk clean off your face. “Look at me and repeat what you said. Last chance, Y/N.”
“Hey!” Your head snaps up and you shoot the redhead a glare before quickly looking away. “Don’t full name me!” 
“She just did, sugar. Answer her. Now.”
You - somehow - manage to drag your eyes to Natasha and for one brief second, you hold her gaze.
And then quickly look down. 
Submitting. 
“That’s what I thought.” Natasha licks her lips. “Now show your doms your beautiful face so we can see that pretty little blush.”
You do as you’re told, even if your bottom lip is sticking out a little. 
“There she is.” Natasha smiles. “Our blushing beauty.” 
“I’m not b -” You sigh. “Okay, fine, I am.”
“And we love it.” Wanda says. “Think you can read it out for us?”
“Signal in, detka.” Natasha orders. 
“Green…I’m just…”
“Shy, we know, my love, we know. But you’re okay. If you don’t want to read it out you don’t have to.” 
“I want to. Believe me, I do.”
“Go for it then, sweetie. At your own pace.” 
“The…um…the G-Spot Massager…” 
“God, you’re such a good girl.” Natasha coos. “You did so well for us, honey.” 
“Do you think you wanna try it out for us?” Wanda asks. 
You meet their eyes.
“Yes.” 
538 notes · View notes
shelikesorchids-archive · 1 year ago
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CADENCE: Part One
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Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Audio Erotica Reader
Summary: Matt can't wait to get home to listen to your latest audio. He's a loyal subscriber, and you get him worked up like no one else does.
Warnings: SMUT, 18+ ONLY. Mutual masturbation (sort of), pillow humping, dirty talk, some light sacrilege. You know, THE GOOD GOOD. Reminder that you are responsible for what you see once you click "Read More".
Author's Note: I would like to thank the Academy (@bellaxgiornata @loveroftoomanyfandoms and @souliebird) for enabling this. Edited, but not beta read, we die like Ray Nadeem (RIP). ENJOY!
Divider by @saradika
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Matt was sitting at his desk going over a deposition when his phone buzzed with a new notification. He had been waiting for word on something specific, so he switched his headphones from his laptop to his phone to see what it was. As soon as he heard the source of the notification, he slammed his laptop shut and started packing up his things to leave. Foggy heard the commotion from his office and came to check on Matt to make sure everything was okay. 
“Hey, buddy. You okay?” 
“Yeah, Fog. Just feeling a headache coming on. The seasons are changing and you know how that messes with me,” Matt replied as he stuffed his laptop in his bag. 
“You want me to walk with you?”
“No, it’s okay, Fog. I can make it just fine.” 
“Alright, buddy. But text me when you get home. You know I worry about you and your headaches,” Foggy called out as Matt walked out the door. 
“I know, Foggy. But I’ll be okay. See you tomorrow, buddy!” 
—--------------------------------------------------
Matt walked home as quickly as he could, resisting the urge to break into a full on sprint. Once he made it to his building, he dashed up the stairs two at a time, and threw off his jacket as soon as he shut his door behind him. He furiously loosened his tie as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and used the voice command to open up the notification once again. This time when he opened it, he was met with the sound of your voice. 
“Hey baby, I missed you. Did you miss me?” 
Your smooth and sugary voice went straight to his cock, so he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, stepping out of them on his living room floor. He palmed over the bulge in his black boxers and pulled off his tie before going to work unbuttoning his shirt as your voice continued to play through his phone.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day. I even had to excuse myself from a meeting to go touch myself in the bathroom, but I wished it was your hand. You know just what to do to make me feel good.” 
Matt was so caught up in your voice that it took him a moment to realize he was now half naked in his living room, right on display in front of the window. Truthfully, he didn’t care if the neighbors saw him, but he grabbed his phone and went into his bedroom. He placed his phone on the nightstand, shed his boxers, and climbed under his silk sheets. 
“Oh, fuck,” he breathed out as he slowly stroked his cock while you continued to talk. 
“Am I turning you on, baby? I can see you’re getting awfully worked up in those dress pants. I’m getting pretty wet, myself. You’re so fucking hot. You wanna watch while I rub my clit?”
“Yes, sweetheart. Make those pretty noises for me,” he replied as if you were in the room with him.
You let out a moan as you rubbed your clit, and Matt swore he could hear how wet you were. He started stroking his cock faster and you moaned louder. 
“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna come, baby.”
“Yes, come for me, sweetheart. Fucking scream for me.” 
“But I wanna come with your cock inside me, so I’ll wait for you. I want you to feel me, and I want to feel you. Let’s come together, baby.” 
Suddenly his hand wasn’t good enough anymore, so he sat up in the bed and stuffed one of his pillows between his thighs to straddle it. The cool silk of the pillowcase felt like heaven against his achingly hard cock that was dripping with precum and begging for release. He started counting the Hail Mary’s he was going to have to say later for this depraved act in his head, but in the moment, he couldn’t be bothered to care. 
“You’re so big, baby. Do you think you’ll fit?”
“I’ll go slow, sweetheart, I promise. We can make it fit.” 
Matt rolled his hips against the pillow at the same time you let out another moan, and he grabbed onto his headboard for leverage. 
“You feel so good, filling me up so perfectly. Fuck me, baby” 
“You feel good too. I’ll go slow at first. I want to feel you.” 
“You’re not gonna hurt me, I can handle it. Just fuck me, baby. Please.” 
“How can I say no when you asked so nicely?” he purred. 
He quickened his pace as you continued making soft sounds of pleasure. He should be ashamed of what he’s doing: fucking his pillow while listening to audio porn and responding back to you as if you could hear him. But, he didn’t care. Once he accidentally discovered erotic audios, he couldn’t get enough, and you were his favorite creator. Your voice was like a drug to him, and he was always jonesing for another hit. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to actually fuck you instead of his pillow, but he would have to settle for this for now. 
“Oh, fuck I’m so close. I’m gonna come baby. Are you gonna come too?” 
“Fuck. Yeah, sweetheart I’m gonna come.” 
“Come inside me.”
You let out a guttural, almost feral moan, and Matt screamed in tandem with you. His thrusts became more erratic, sweat was beading on his forehead, and he was white knuckling the headboard. He was getting closer with every sound you made, and he wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer. 
“Oh, OH F-FUCK.” 
“Yes, sweetheart. Oh yes, oh FUCK.” 
His chest heaved, his breathing was ragged, and his hips stuttered into the pillow as he came hard. He collapsed backward onto the mattress, a thin sheen of sweat covering his entire body. “Shit,” he breathed out as he ran one of his hands down his face. 
“Did you like that? Be sure to subscribe for more, and don’t be shy about leaving me a comment! Until next time, audiophiles…”
After a few minutes, Matt sat up and reached for his phone to close the app. He knew that pillowcase was ruined, but that could wait. He stood up on shaky legs and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower. As much as he loved your voice, and how turned on he got by it, he longed to have you in his bed so he could hold you afterwards, and maybe even join him in the shower. 
When he was done washing the post-coital sweat off his body, he dried off and put on a fresh pair of boxers and sweatpants, threw the defiled pillowcase in the trash, and sat down to leave you a comment on your latest audio that he got off to. He set his phone back on his nightstand, laid down in bed, and allowed his mind to wander about how you actually felt and how your skin smelled. Maybe one day he could find someone with a voice as gorgeous as yours. 
—-----------------------------------------------
The “CLOSED” sign had long since been displayed in the door of the coffee shop, and you were finally done with your closing duties for the evening. Your boss said you were free to go, so you grabbed your bag and your jacket, said your goodbyes, and headed out to your shoebox of an apartment. You loved living in New York City, but it was expensive, and just being a barista didn’t pay the bills. No one knew about your “side hustle”, and you liked it that way. It was oddly empowering to you that you were a caffeine peddler by day, but you used your voice to get people off by night. It was perfect because you could have fun living out your own fantasies, but no one knew your face. 
After scarfing down the take out you picked up on your way home, you sat down to check the notifications on your latest audio post. There were always lots of comments to sift through, but there was one username in particular that commented on every single audio you posted, and you always looked forward to their comments. 
As you scrolled through the comments, you finally saw the one you were looking for: “rllygdlwyr commented: So hot as always, sweetheart. I ruined a silk pillowcase with this one. May have to start buying them in bulk if you keep this up.” 
You laughed and bit your lip at the comment. Normally, subscribers calling you pet names would creep you out, but this one was loyal, and they pretty much paid for your take out habit with their subscription and their tips. As much as you hated to admit it, they kind of kept you going.
Once you were done checking your account and responding to comments, you took a shower, put on some slinky lingerie, and pulled out your favorite toys to make a new audio. According to their username, they were most likely a lawyer, so tonight you decided to try a little roleplay. 
“I’m afraid I’m guilty, but is there anything I can do to lessen my sentence? I heard you’re a really good lawyer.” 
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dollarstorefern · 11 months ago
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ok, so i’ve been thinking about the whole food/love symbolism in house, (i’m not sure who the first person to mention this symbolism was, but i love them so much. if anyone knows please mention them!!!) and there's one more specific element that i want to overanalyze, so just bear with me for a moment; there were four people that directly interacted with house when he was cooking in wilson's apartment (episode 3 season 6): cuddy, thirteen, wilson, and a random lady from the cooking class house and wilson took together. and i feel like these four best represent how house's love is spread. just hear me out for a second you guys.
first, you have cuddy. she comes to house and he happens be cooking; however, she never tastes the food he’s preparing. they love each other, he has love FOR her, but it's never the right time for them. (house and cuddy have such an insane and doomed relationship that i don’t think i quite understand myself tbh).
for the random lady, she's cooking *with* house when cuddy is there. this one isn’t as clean/sensible as the others, but i’m sure at least one person will get what i’m trying to say or be able to word this better. house has a certain level of understanding and care for others/strangers, but on a very grudging level. his love isn't necessarily made just for them, they'll never know the depth or spontaneity of it, and they'll never know what it means like the people close to house do.
with wilson, wilson wakes up to house cooking. house shoves the food in wilson's face, not listening to a word that wilson has to say. and wilson just goes with it! and i believe that it’s around here that house admits that he stayed up all night cooking because he was in pain, but i could be wrong. if that is the case though, that just ties into the whole idea that all of house’s strongest emotions are directly tied to his pain, all of his actions are fueled by his pain, which makes his love even more insane if you think about it. (i wish i was as eloquent as some of the other house fans on here when talking about this stuff but i only ever think about it when half-awake).
and lastly, there's thirteen. she visits house to ask for advice. and you see how precise he's being with the cooking. i don’t remember quite what he was making, something to do with chicken embryos or yolks, and extracting some of the yolk to squeeze sauce in there, something along those lines. pretty precise stuff. and thirteen tries it and says that it's the best thing she's ever eaten. quick and positive interaction.
so. we only see *two* people eat his food in this episode. two people who know what his love is like: wilson, the man that house depends on to even exist, and thirteen, basically the only character that (at this point in the show) has a chance of understanding house’s suffering, to some degree (house dreading the pain that comes with simply existing, knowing each day will be filled with pain, thirteen dreading every day, knowing that her huntingtons can only get worse and one day she’ll lose control).
also, this isn’t to say that house doesn’t/hasn’t loved other characters!!! i personally just feel like the relationships he has with wilson, cuddy, and thirteen are some of the most significant on screen relationships we see. (maybe i’m a bit biased because i adore wilson and thirteen, but we’ll ignore that).
anyways. all of this was likely just coincidence, but i don’t quite care! it’s the coincidences that make for the most meaningful portrayal of characters, in my humble (questionable) opinion!
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cllightning81 · 7 months ago
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Promise [AA23]
Summary : Your first race leaves you with a lot of anxiety but thankfully Alex knows how to fix that. He also has a little surprise
Pairing/s: Alexander Albon x Reader, Logan Sargeant x Reader (Platonic + brief)
Warning/s: Anxiety
Word Count : 1.2k
Masterlist
Alexander Albon Masterlist
Taglist
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Heading to your first ever Formula One race was not on the agenda for the day. You were actually planning on going shopping around the city, but Alex had talked you out of that by bribing you with free food, and who couldn’t turn down free food? 
So here you were, walking through the Formula One paddock with a death grip on your boyfriend's hand. You’d always been able to travel with Alex because you worked from home during race season, which meant you could travel whenever you wanted. However, you always stayed in the hotel room doing exactly that, sometimes going out shopping when Alex forced his card upon you, saying that you needed to be spoiled. 
“Darling” Alex stopped walking, turning to look at you, and you looked up at him. Alex grabbed your other hand, holding it gently as his thumb rubbed gentle circles on the back of it 
“Hmm?” You asked only now just paying attention to whatever he was saying while he was walking
“You’re squeezing my hand a lot, darling. What's wrong?” He asked, tilting his head to the side 
“I’m just really nervous. You care about all these people and this is your work and there’s so many people here” You whispered and he nodded wrapping his arm around you pulling you closer to his body as we started walking again.
“You’re shaking love” He frowned as you walked into the Williams garage with him. It was a lot less scary being inside the garage knowing that the mechanics were far too busy working on the car, other team members being too busy as well and Logan well he wasn’t so bad to be around. 
Alex took you to his driver's room sitting you down on the massage table grabbing one of his half zips and pulling it over your head so it covered your body before grabbing a blanket that was kept on his couch and wrapping it around your body pulling you back into his arms. Your head rested on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat. 
“Just relax, darling. No one will come in here that you don’t already know. Okay?” He asked as you gently nodded against his chest. Gently rubbing your back as the door quietly opened, looking over, you spotted Logan. Giving him a small smile 
“Oh hey Y/N” He hummed 
“Hi Logan” you whispered as he sat on Alex’s couch, looking over at him. You frowned 
“He always comes in before a race” Alex explained, and you nodded 
“Okay” You nodded, pulling back and pulling your legs onto the table, turning to look at Logan, who was sitting behind you. Alex wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you back into his chest. 
“Damn thought I’d got away from couples” Logan joked, and you smiled a little 
“I’ve got a friend” You shrugged
“I’m okay being single thanks though” You chuckled, looking up at Alex, who pressed a kiss to your lips. 
“Never been to a race before?” Logan asked, and you shook your head 
“What gives that away?” You asked, and he smiled 
“I don’t know, maybe the blanket and the fact Alex won’t let go?” You chuckled with a smile 
“He’s keeping me warm, so I can’t complain” You shrugged, and Alex tightened his grip around you 
“You didn’t say you were cold” He frowned, and you shrugged 
“I wasn’t exactly cold, but you’re keeping me extra warm” You smiled up at him, and he smiled softly. Logan took a couple of pictures of the two of you being so caught up in your love. 
“I can’t believe I convinced you to come” He whispered, and you smiled 
“I won’t be back for a while. It’s terrifying, and I like watching it in the hotel with the lovely view” Alex laughed, pressing a kiss to your head as Logan snuck out of the room as his trainer texted him. 
“Did you bring anything to go on holiday with?” Alex asked, and you shook your head 
“Baby we drove a couple hours from the house. I didn’t pack anything for a holiday” you hummed, and he shook his head 
“Maybe we should go shopping after the race then?” He asked, and you frowned 
“What why?” You asked confused, turning to look at him properly 
“To go on a nice holiday? This is the last race where I have a whole week off after it” He explained, and you nodded, looking up at him 
“We could. Or we could find a little log cabin in the middle of nowhere here in England, maybe with a little hot tub and just enjoy that?” You suggested, and he nodded 
“If you want to. It’s nice weather” He shrugged, and you smiled, wrapping your arms around him and the blanket at the same time 
“Yes please can we please?” You begged, and he nodded 
“I can’t say no to that look, can I?” He smiled poking your cheeks as you smiled up at him 
“See this is why I love you” you hummed, kissing him 
“And why would that be?” He asked, looking down at you 
“You always listen to my suggestions, you care about how I’m feeling, you know how I’m feeling without me actually saying it out loud and you’re just a loveable person” You explained and he looked down at you with so much love you thought you might actually explode 
“Oh fuck it” He muttered grabbing his bag and pulling out a little black box 
“I was gonna wait until we went away on holiday, but I can’t wait, not when I’ve finally got you at a race and you’re right in front of me” You frowned, watching him 
“Y/N I love you so much, and I’m not proposing just yet, so don’t worry about that” You chuckled, looking up at him 
“Good cause I want to get pictures of that, not in a motorhome” you joked 
“Anyway we can come back to your proposal plans. I love you so much Y/N and I know you hate using my card to buy things or just buying things for yourself in general because that’s not your kind of thing but I saw this in like three different baskets of yours on like three different websites so I decided to actually buy you it” Alex handed you the small box and you opened it up to see the ring you had been thinking about buying
The ring was one that could be personalised and with how long you and Alex had been together you wanted to get it with your birthstones and maybe your initials and you had been looking at many different websites just trying to find the cheapest and best looking one. 
Opening the box up fully, you could feel the tears fill your eyes. Alex didn’t have to do this, but the fact that he actually did was so sweet. Taking the ring out of the box, Alex carefully took your hand and slid the ring onto your ring finger 
“It’s not a proposal yet, but this is a promise ring so that it’s always with you while I’m racing. A promise that no matter how bad the crash is or how far apart we actually are I will always come home to you because it’s you I want to spend the rest of my life with” He explained gently wiping your tears away. 
It was him. It will always be him.
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Taglist
@bearryyy
@lozzamen3
@barcelonaloverf1life
@hiireadstuff
@evie-119
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florenceafternoon · 7 months ago
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━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━
Some more AUs I've been loving. I'm trying to alternate between AU and canon verse rec lists so bear with me. Remember that if you like a fic you should definitely let the author know as such.
For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.
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theogony by @clare-with-no-i
The trip that Lily Evans expects to go on is the annual pre-dissertation jaunt to Athens with the rest of her Classical Civilizations PhD program. The trip she does not expect to go on is to 479 BCE, right on the cusp of one of the most important battles in the Greco-Persian war. Now, she has to navigate antiquity as she tries to find her way back to the 21st Century, God—or gods—help her.
James wants to win this war. No, James needs to win this war. He is a man of honor and duty, and even if it means dying a gruesome, bloody death, he will go down in history as one of Athens's great warriors. He will suffer no distractions; not even beautiful ones who speak strangely and refuse to listen to his orders.
 -- OR: The Outlander-Meets-Ancient-Greece Jily AU that no one asked for Maya dreams of.
I can't believe it took me this long to read this fic but OH MY GOD!! Clare's writing is phenomenal, I've known this for a while now, but THE DEDICATION TO HISTORICAL ACCURACY, I'm so impressed. If only I could put even half that amount of effort into my major essays for school. EVERYONE GO READ THIS NOW
Sweathearts' Special by @tinyluminaryzombie
What happens when your coffee shop nemesis, asks you to pretend to be a couple?
Or "I’ve been staring at the stupid cupcakes for the past hour, and they look way too good. Anyways, would you be willing to join forces and pretend to be together for the free cupcake and coffee?”
Welcome to Pettyville by @women-inthe-sequel
When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?
A love square but it's just the same two idiots
Tall Dark and Glasses by @jamesunderwater
Tall Dark and Glasses (or TDG as he is more affectionately known) is the mysterious, painfully good-looking stranger who has been frequenting Lily's favourite coffee shop for months now. But despite having an embarrassing acronym for him, Lily, a burned-out STEM major, is too comfortable being a wallflower to go up to him herself. Thank god for playing cards, I guess.
coffee shops and copious amounts of sugar by @mystinkysocks
James decides to finally start revising, the coffee shop he attends introduces him to someone new!
As someone who spends an ungodly amount of time studying in public (at cafés and libraries), all I dream of is to one day live out my very own coffee shop AU
Unlicenced by @ohmygodshesinsane
Lily Evans begrudgingly agrees to get in the car with classmate and sometime-foe James Potter and his not-quite-earned P-plates after a particularly rubbish day.
Drop-Off also by @/ ohmygodshesinsane
James Potter takes Lily Evans home, and wants to make something clear.
Disclaimer that they’re Australian in this AU. You guys don't understand how much Lily Evans means to me. I want to give her a hug.
pretty, pretty boy by rosiemary0 (on ao3)
Pretty face, with golden brown eyes and strong cheekbones (one of which is adorned with a smudge of charcoal). Pretty hands—very, very pretty hands, Lily’s thoughts interject—which hold a jar each, one with water and the other paintbrushes.
Or the one where James is an artist and Lily hates socialising.
I'll Manage by @kaymardsa
James and Lily fall in love during the war.
In which Lily runs a refugee camp and James is an ex-sniper
I can't remember if I've recommended this fic already but again I recently re-read it and wanted to share
'Tis the Fucking Season by @thequibblah
Six-year absences. Yearly photograph burnings (figuratively). Low-cut tops. Two nosebleeds. Little red notebooks. The Past, with a capital P. The desire to pour your heart out to strangers (maybe pathologically). The desire to do unspeakably bad things to one James Potter. These are the ingredients that make up Lily Evans's holiday season.
Shelby the cabbie is in for a fucking ride.
I have been searching for this fic for two months and nearly gave up. An absolute classic that everyone should read!!
Two's a Crowd also by @/ thequibblah
Regency AU in which "the only thing Lily Evans can share with the Earl of Devon is a healthy dose of mutual dislike."
In Search of Something More by @kay-elle-cee
In the sunlit garden of her sister’s home, Lord Potter had promised Lily a life of her own design, with minimal expectations—her presence at community events, companionship, and an heir. As the two stumble into the routine of marriage and work to make a life together at Stinchcombe Hall, unsolicited feelings provoke each to start wondering if this is merely a marriage…or if it could be something more.
No, I will not shut up about this fic. Anything that Kelsey writes is bound to be amazing but this one holds a special place in my heart. Note that this is an ongoing fic though. I tend to recommend completed works but this one is too good not to include.
Pinkest Bluestocking of the Ton by @wearingaberetinparis 
Dearest Reader, the ton are abuzz with the latest gossip, and so it is my honour to impart to you the news that the Duke of Peverell has returned to London at last! A year after setting off on his tour of Europe, Lady Peverell's son has returned and rumour has it that his mother is preparing for the most joyous of occasions: a late summer wedding that sees her son wed the next Duchess of Peverell. It is my sincere hope that you have stored a bottle of wine for this most delightful of upcoming events for if ever there were a more determined mama, this writer is Icarus and this society paper has been scorched for flying too close to the sun.
A Jily Regency Romance inspired by Shondaland's "Bridgerton".
Again this is an ongoing fic, but it's too good not to include in this rec list! I haven’t caught up with all the chapters yet but I love the story so far!
A Heart of Coal also by @/ wearingaberetinparis
They say fortune favours the bold, yet Lily Evans was given her death sentence at seventeen. As soon as midnight strikes on the eve of her eighteenth birthday, her heart will turn to coal. Gryffindor knight James Potter, however, is the last to accept such a fate. For while Lily Evans’ curse foretells her death, his foreshadows a life without his unrequited true love at his side.
Fairytale AU in which the love is requited they're just idiots
Three Lemons and a Dragon by @thelighthousestale
Once upon a time, there lived a Prince named James who had to save his father's Kingdom by getting married. One day an older woman gifts him three lemons that will lead him to his true love.
Dillweed in a Fancy Metal Can by @eastwindmlk
When Lily gets dragged to a Renaissance Faire, she reluctantly agreed to go to the jousting event where she is pulled into the show against her will, or is it?
Lily represents me
Queen Foxtail also by @/ eastwindmlk
Once Upon A Time...
There was an arrogant prince who turned down every suitable match and drove his parents to do something drastic. Marry him off to the next merchant that steps through their gates.
across the universe by rcdwings (on ao3)
“So, you’re saying that in these other worlds, James Potter and Lily Evans exist, too?”
She hadn’t expected to hear that, hadn’t even thought about it that way. She was too busy thinking about if in those other worlds, she and her friends could be seventeen and free instead of the war torn teenagers they were. Now that he’d put it that way, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander.
“I would assume so,” she swallowed. “Not sure what we would be like, though.”
A beat, then a soft hum. “Anything,” he smiled at her, “There are countless worlds, right? We could be anything.”
only love can hurt like this by @fireblts 
Lily doesn’t quite know everything, but it feels pretty close.
The main thing she still doesn’t get is soulmates. Love doesn’t seem like something that should be painful. Or rather, love seems like it’s painful enough on its own without any help.
Soulmate AU - whenever your soulmate is hurt or in pain, you can feel it too.
Soulmate AUs are my comfort genre of fics. I haven't been feeling to well lately and rediscovering this fic was a delight
The Librarian of Hogsmeade Village by @ohmygodshesinsane
Lily's work as a librarian in the small village of Hogsmeade has kept her occupied for the past six years, forever keeping the wheels of the town on the track. As the holidays approach, she prepares to settle in with a nice mug of tea and a well-thumbed old book. When a new resident and his son arrive at her weekly story-reading, with cheeky smiles and big hearts, those plans are tossed out the window in favour of chasing love, for once - not escaping it.
Lily living the cozy life of my dreams. I think it's well known by now that I love reading about single parents and well James with his baby boy always puts a smile on my face.
Spitting Image by @charmsandtealeaves
James Potter always knew he wanted to build a family, he just hadn’t found the right person to build it with - yet. Freezing his sperm at Gringotts Sperm Bank was a no-brainer really. He’d have children when he found the right person, and now he had an insurance policy. Then Lily Evans walked into his place of work with her son - the spitting image of him.
linking this art that the talented @constancezin drew inspired by this fic
Every time I see that Ray has updated, reading the new chapter becomes the highlight of my day
The Stag Prince Across The Sea also by @/ charmsandtealeaves
The realm of Hogwarts had lived for decades in a carefully negotiated harmony between the leaders of the four clans. However, when the time came for son to marry daughter, the Slytherin King refused to offer his daughter's hand to any of the other grand houses’ suitors. As the Slytherin King departed the shore, bound for the ship that would allow him to escape across the Green Sea, he cast a curse on the great families.
“Let ye be marked. Marred by tooth, hoof, and claw. May your sons never be fit for any bride!”
Slytherin invoked an ancient magic, which transformed each family's eldest son into creatures under the light of the full moon. The Kings searched far and wide for a cure to no avail while trying to keep secret the wrong that had been done to them. Years passed and with them grew a sense of unrest, a kingdom on the precipice of collapse...
what love is, I think by @potterandevans-blog-blog
It's James Potter's birthday, his nineteenth to be exact. Some people, if they're lucky, find a tattoo on their back on their nineteenth birthday, a tattoo that can help them discover their soulmate. And if the antlers on his back are anything to go by, James might just have a soulmate of his own out there, somewhere.
oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic
Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.
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k-pepp · 10 months ago
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With the final season of YR coming up, I’ve been thinking about Wille’s journey again. Because he’s 16, we won’t know if he actually chooses to renounce his title or remain in his role as future king, but I have a feeling this season will give us an indication which way it will go. So, before we get any type of confirmation, I want to get my current thoughts out. I’m aware that a lot of YR Tumblr skews toward King Wilhelm so my pro-renounce post might not resonate with anyone and that’s ok. I just want to put all my thoughts together before S3 comes along with something that totally blows all my opinions and assumptions out of the water 🙂 I understand the idea of wanting Wille to be King because he could be such a great leader. He is kind and compassionate and can be good at taking charge. BUT just because a person could be good at something, doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. My number one reason for being in favor of Renouncing his Title is the sheer fact that Wille doesn’t want to be King. He doesn’t want the title. He doesn’t want that life. Wille has been shown a multitude of times talking about how he struggles with the duties that come with being a prince. Whether it’s with Erik:
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Or August:
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Or Boris:
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(honestly, this boy will spill his guts to anyone who is willing to even half listen to him. My god. I’m so glad they gave this poor kid a therapist) He's also talked about how he feels trapped in this position. For him, to renounce the throne would be freedom. Freedom to live a life he actually wants.
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Even the mere idea of staying in his current position makes him physically ill.
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Some people take the end of episode 2x06 to mean he’s moved beyond all that and accepted his role as the future king. I didn’t personally see it that way. I saw it as a combination of a few things. 1) When come face-to-face with it, he just couldn’t let August give the speech (But the fact that he was initially willing to let someone who distributed revenge porn against him become king really speaks to how much he definitely doesn’t want that position) 2) He didn’t want Simon to have to compromise his happiness and give in to a situation he didn’t actually want 3) He didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to be himself. Wille is a person who craves authenticity. Which brings me to a bigger point… Life as the Crown Prince / King is inherently inauthentic. One of the main pro-King arguments is that he would blaze his own trail and do things his way. But how? Being a member of the royal family is a job. The basic responsibilities of that job are to do things like diplomatic visits, hosting events, being part of photo ops, schmoozing with people… pretty much all things having to do with putting on a public persona. It’s great that he could be himself in the sense that he would be the first queer Crown Prince / King, but the baseline duties he would have to fulfill are still inherently inauthentic. And I don’t know how he would “do it his way” aside from just not doing it. He hates putting on fake smiles
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the photo ops
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the schmoozing with people
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Erik even told Wille, the way to get through that stuff is to just pretend to be someone else.
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We know he’s capable of doing it. We saw how charming he could be at Parents Day weekend. But that was because he wanted to sit with Simon and impress Simon’s mom. Other than that lunch, he mostly hid in his room. And it goes back to my original point. Just because someone may be good at something doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. (And yes, even if he walked away from the line of succession, he could still have familial obligations, but it wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of what is expected now) At this point, Wille is only continuing as Crown Prince because of a commitment to his family. Mainly Erik.
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He doesn’t want to let him down or feel like he’s betraying his legacy. To Wille, Erik was perfect. We only saw two full conversations between them and in both conversations, Erik was telling Wille to get his act together because “it’s not that hard”.
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That quote is probably something he told Wille a lot. So much that Wille later regurgitates it to Boris. Three different times.  
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Going on to say that Erik could handle everything easily.  
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Based on the fact that Erik was going to Boris, he probably wasn’t managing everything with ease. But in Wille’s perception, he was. Wille is basically chasing a ghost. Self-imposed pressure of unattainable perfection. He bears a guilt that pushes him to want to be someone he thinks Erik would be proud of.   The problem with that is, Erik was a monarchist. Maybe he struggled a bit (which is why he went to Boris), but based on the things he would say to Wille, he backed the monarchy / family completely.
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Ultimately, I just want Wille to be happy. Maybe S3 will completely change my outlook and I’ll root for him to become king because that’s what he wants. But right now, I think he only wants it out of a sense of obligation to Erik. And honestly…maybe my most controversial opinion…if he did stay in his position because of Erik, he probably wouldn’t change that much within the institution. I mean, he couldn’t change much even if he wanted to. He wouldn’t be allowed to do big things without the consent of the Swedish parliament and maybe a public referendum. And I doubt he’d even have the capability to make small changes. As already pointed out by @piebingo in this great post, Kristina didn’t actually want August to be next in line. But she was overruled. The Royal Court has a lot of power and making any sort of reforms or independent decisions is not that simple. Especially within an establishment that relies on keeping everything exactly the same. But even if that weren’t true. Even if Wille could snap his fingers and make all these huge changes… part of me doesn’t think he would. I know a lot of the folks who are pro-King Wilhelm want him to become the king just so he can completely destroy it from within. But to me, in Wille’s eyes there would be no bigger betrayal to Erik’s legacy than Wille burning the institution to the ground. And if he wants to live up to Erik’s legacy. Not betray him. Not let him down. He will act as he thinks Erik would act. If Wille becomes king because of Erik, he’ll maintain the establishment because of Erik. And he would be miserable doing it. Miserable and without Simon. Yes, my other controversial opinion. If Wille stayed as king, Wilmon wouldn’t make it. Simon is described to us as a socialist. One of his introductory scenes is him calling the monarchy the country’s biggest welfare scammers. I can’t imagine Simon giving up his musical dreams to join an institution that he hates. I also can’t imagine Wille letting him do that. That was such a big part of Wille’s growth in Season 2. Wille wouldn’t let Simon sacrifice his happiness for the sake of his own happiness (being with Simon). Even if Simon didn’t end up pursuing something in music, he made it clear in his talk with Rosh and Ayub that he wants to work hard to make something of himself.
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I mean, look at him. Look at this sweet baby angel’s face when he’s told he has an opportunity that will open doors to his future. I can’t imagine him giving up his ambitions or autonomy to become prince consort. Having to live every day under royal rules and protocols. Maybe he would. I personally can’t see it. And finally, I know a main reason people like the idea of King Wille is because we like the idea of a queer king. But as much as we all want queer representation; I don’t think it should be anybody’s responsibility to be the political representation that people want to see. Wille shouldn’t be in a position he hates because he’s queer. A queer person living their life and getting out of a toxic situation is also good representation. A person can’t fix the problem by becoming part of it. Having him be the face of an institution that’s been about exploitation and oppression isn’t going to solve it. It's always been said by Lisa and Edvin that Wille’s problem is not that he’s queer. It’s that he’s a prince. Everything about what’s making him unhappy is about him being prince / the future king. Him walking away from his title would be about him escaping a future that would make him miserable. Personally, that’s what I’m hoping for.
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