#I’ve learned so much from him about how to be a good educator

[artemisiatridentata]

As an educator it never fails to floor me (and, often, nearly bring me to tears) how kids react and open up when I give them positive feedback. Often it seems like no adult has ever bothered to engage with them and center them in the conversation. Maybe it helps that I still enjoy “childlike” things like drawing and star wars and dinosaurs, but like. still. any time I treat them like the complex, fully-formed human beings that they are, any time I ask questions that get beyond the surface level, their eyes light up and they transform.

Like once on a five-day field program, I complimented a shy, quiet kid’s watercolor painting, told them I liked making art too and asked them more questions about it — what their favorite medium was, if they found watercolors tricky like I do, etc. — and it was like a switch was flipped. They told me all about their art classes and what they liked to make, what techniques they were struggling with, AND we found out we both were interested in herbalism! The kid stuck to me like glue for the rest of the week and kept showing me all the art they were making, as well as asking me all about the edible and medicinal plants in the region. And all it took was me saying something like, “Whoa, that painting is amazing! The detail on the trees is so realistic, and you really captured the texture of the sandstone! I like to paint, too, but rocks are really hard for me. I can never get them to look right. How did you make them look so 3D?” instead of just “wow that’s pretty!”

And that happens over and over. A little boy who didn’t really talk to anyone saw me drawing a mandalorian with sidewalk chalk and the next day he brought a bunch of his drawings of clone wars battle scenes to show me, and after I told him how impressed I was with his creativity and attention to detail, he wouldn’t stop talking to me and asking me how to draw various characters!! Recently I had a long and delightful conversation with an 8 year old about his favorite species in the ceratopsidae family. I’ve had hours-long discussions with teenage boys on the various merits and minutiae of legends vs. canon star wars material and the ways that universe mirrors our real-life sociopolitical landscape. 9 year old girls talk a mile a minute when they find out I like horses and ask them about their favorite breed, and shy 18 year olds suddenly can’t stop smiling and bouncing on their heels when I ask them to tell me more about their favorite music artists and mention that hey, my 25 year old best friend is also into K-pop, just like you!! Who’s your favorite group?? 12 year olds have asked me if they can have more free time instead of a structured lesson and are shocked when I say yes, and then confess to being stressed and sad because they’re already so exhausted and burnt out from the school-homework-extracurriculars grind and they can’t imagine doing it for six more years and then working for decades like their parents. and then they ask if I want to come see the fort they’re building out of fallen branches and maybe help them build it? or would I like to come catch crawdads or build a little snail hotel?

Kids of all ages are dealing with so much stress and negative feedback. They’re often made to feel — whether directly or indirectly, by their parents or teachers or peers or bosses or church elders, etc. — that they’re not doing enough. That they’re lazy and always on their phones and that their interests are frivolous and that they’re too loud or in the way or annoying. Hell, I was made to feel that way when I was their age, and it breaks my heart that many kids are still not getting the positive feedback they need to thrive. So I make a point of giving them the level of respect and autonomy and engagement that I give adults.

The least us adults can do, especially those of us who teach kids or are otherwise around them a lot, is show them through our words and actions that we genuinely value their interests, opinions, and presence in our lives.

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[solxamber]

Vice Housewardens + Kalim trying a period simulator

part 1 with overblot gang + adeuce + rollo

I love putting them through this

Trey Clover:

Trey had always been the reliable, grounded guy. Need a cake baked? Trey. Need a shoulder to cry on? Trey. So when you approached him with the suggestion of trying a period pain simulator for "educational purposes," he just adjusted his glasses and said, “Sure, why not?” with his usual level-headedness.

You’d attached the electrodes to his abdomen, and he watched, almost too calmly, as you adjusted the settings. “This isn’t going to be so bad,” he mused. “I mean, how bad could it rea—”

Level 3 hit.

Trey’s entire body stiffened like a poorly baked souffle. His hands gripped the edge of the counter, and his polite smile faltered into something...less composed.

“Okay. Alright. Th-That’s something,” he said, voice tight. His glasses started slipping down the bridge of his nose, and for the first time ever, Trey Clover—the epitome of calmness—looked mildly panicked. “W-Wait, are you sure this is—AH, WHY IS IT IN MY SPINE?”

You snorted as he shot you a look, beads of sweat forming on his brow.

By level 6, Trey was gripping the counter like it was holding him back from the gates of hell. “This is not natural. I’m convinced this is just dark magic. I think the dough is rising inside me.”

When it reached level 9, Trey—calm, responsible Trey—finally broke. “Okay, okay, STOP. I take it back. You are all warriors. I’ll bake you whatever you want for the rest of the week, just please stop.”

With a press of the button, you ended his suffering, and Trey fell back in his chair, gasping for air like he’d just run a marathon. He gave you a weak thumbs-up. “Good... good lesson. I have so much respect for you now. Never again.”

Ruggie Bucchi:

Ruggie thought he could handle anything. Growing up in the slums, you learn to survive, right? So when you casually mentioned a period pain simulator, he scoffed. “Psh, it can’t be worse than a day of running around for Leona. Hit me with it.”

Oh, sweet Ruggie. He didn’t know.

You strapped him up, and as the simulator started, he just chuckled. “This is nothin’. I’ve had stomach cramps before. Ain’t gonna—”

Level 4.

Ruggie doubled over, hands on his knees, eyes wide. “H-Hey, what the—ow, ow, OW! Is this what you deal with?!” His voice cracked as his body spasmed.

By level 6, he was on the floor, clutching his stomach. “I’m sorry for everything. For stealing your snacks, for—oh seven, is this my punishment for that time I ate all your donuts?!” He was gasping, rolling on his back, legs kicking in the air like he was trying to outrun the pain.

“Ruggie, I’m only at level 7,” you said, laughing.

Level 9 hit, and that’s when it got wild. “PLEASE! PLEASE! I’LL DO ANYTHING! I’LL WASH ALL OF YOUR LAUNDRY. I’LL DO GRIM’S CHORES. JUST TURN IT OFF.”

You finally turned it off, and Ruggie lay there, twitching, face pale. “...I’ll never complain about anything again. Ever.”

Jade Leech:

Jade approached the period pain simulator like he did everything else—with unnerving curiosity. “Fascinating. I’ve heard about this phenomenon, but I’ve never had the chance to experience it firsthand.” He grinned that unsettling grin of his as you set it up.

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad,” he added with eerie confidence, as if he were about to observe himself in an experiment.

Level 2 was fine. At level 4, he twitched slightly. “Interesting sensation. It feels as though something is constricting. Very curious.”

At level 5, his smile wavered, just a bit. His breathing hitched, and his hand twitched. “Ah. I see. A dull, persistent ache.”

By level 7, Jade was gripping the edge of his chair, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. “This... is more intense than I anticipated. Quite...quite challenging.”

Level 9, and his grin was gone. For once, Jade looked almost human—panicked and wide-eyed. His fingers dug into the table as he gasped, “What is this? Is this...some sort of torture technique?”

You had to fight back laughter as he gave you a rare, pleading look. “Turn it off...please.”

When it finally stopped, Jade blinked rapidly, straightening himself with as much dignity as he could muster. “I’ll admit, I underestimated that. Quite... informative.”

Kalim Al-Asim:

Kalim thought this was going to be fun. Like a game. “Sure! I’ll try it!” he chirped, flashing his bright smile. “This’ll be interesting!”

At level 2, Kalim was still smiling. “It kinda tickles!”

By level 4, his eyes widened. “O-Oh. That’s...that’s a bit tight, huh?”

Level 6 hit, and Kalim’s smile faltered completely. He was gripping the couch cushions, eyes wide with panic. “Wait, wait, wait! It’s like someone’s punching me from the inside!”

Level 8 arrived, and Kalim let out a full-on yelp. “Okay! O-Okay! I-I take it back! This isn’t fun at all!”

You were wheezing with laughter as Kalim squirmed, trying to adjust himself in the chair, like it would somehow lessen the pain. “It feels like my insides are doing a dance but... but not in a good way! Jamil! Help!”

When you finally turned it off, Kalim lay there, panting like he’d just escaped a wild party gone wrong. “Wow. Just... wow. I didn’t know! How do you survive this?”

Rook Hunt:

Of course, Rook approached this experience like everything else in life—with an excessive amount of enthusiasm. “Ah, mon trésor, you wish to grant me the experience of such a unique sensation? Marvelous! I am prepared for anything!”

You hooked him up, and he was practically vibrating with excitement.

At level 2, Rook was still poetic. “Ah, it begins. A subtle whisper of discomfort, like the winds of autumn brushing against one’s skin.”

Level 4. “Ah! A deeper ache, much like the pull of unrequited love! So sharp, so vivid! I feel it in my very core!”

Level 6 hit, and Rook...started sweating. “Oh...oh my, it is as though my very soul is twisting! A veritable storm within me!”

At level 8, Rook clutched his chest dramatically. “Mon dieu! The anguish! How does one continue to live with such torment on a monthly basis? I am in awe of your strength!”

You were practically crying with laughter as Rook, finally humbled, gasped, “Turn it off, s’il vous plaît! My poetic heart cannot take any more of this agony!”

Lilia Vanrouge:

Lilia had lived for centuries. He had fought in wars, seen empires rise and fall, so surely this would be nothing, right? “Ah, this? A pain simulator? How quaint,” he said with a smirk as you set it up.

At level 3, he was still smiling, though you noticed a twitch in his left eye. “Hmph. I’ve had worse.”

Level 5 hit, and Lilia stiffened, his smirk turning into a grimace. “Oh...that’s rather unpleasant.”

Level 7 arrived, and Lilia’s face contorted. He gripped the arms of the chair, his tiny frame shuddering. “This is worse than I thought” he muttered.

At level 9, Lilia—a warrior who had seen millennia—let out a tiny, high-pitched yelp. “STOP! TURN IT OFF! THIS ISN’T RIGHT!”

You immediately turned it off, watching in amusement as Lilia leaned back in his chair, panting. “Well...I didn’t expect that to be my undoing.” He gave you a weary smile. “You are far stronger than I ever gave you credit for.”

Masterlist

[bootsukki]

AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?

aita series masterlist

I (22M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for 4 years more or less. Ever since I’ve known her, I have known that she would do great things in life and she’s currently in the USA working on a huge project — a book about educational methodologies. I’m really proud of her but she’s gone for a few months now and I’ve been missing her a lot more than a thought I would. I am in my last year of university and the stress of exams, deadlines and such is making me kind of sensitive towards things. Now, I’m not the most emotionally expressive person. I don’t do the whole "sharing feelings" thing easily, but the distance has been harder than I expected, and I realized I don’t want to keep feeling like this when we’re apart. I just… want her here with me. So, last night, while we were on the phone, I told her straight up that I miss her, and then (kind of out of nowhere) I said that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. This was a big deal for me because, like I said, I don’t really say stuff like that. AITA for telling my girlfriend I want to be with her for the rest of my life over the phone?

It had been a few months since (Y/N) left for the States, diving headfirst into a research for the book she’d been working on alongside some professors, a project she was incredibly passionate about: new educational methodologies that could revolutionize Japanese education towards learning a second language. She needed to spend 4 months in the US and then continue research at their university and other parts of Japan. Tsukishima admired that about his girlfriend: she was passionate and never had any problems throwing herself into work with so much heart.

But the truth is that being halfway accross the world from her was taking a toll on him. He was grateful for having his other friends around but being in his last year of university without her by his side was making it really hard and he found himself missing her more than expected. Over the years they had been together, he had his own way of expressing his affections towards (Y/N) — kissing the top of her head whenever she walked past him, making her favourite breakfast whenever she stayed at his apartment, quiet I love you’s before going to bed… He didn’t need many words to express how much he loved her. Yet, in her absence, all those things felt incomplete. Her empty side of his bed, the silence in the apartment whenever Yamaguchi was out, dinners eaten alone, sushi for one…

He missed the sound of her voice (even though they spoke on the phone two times a day and sent several voice notes during the day), the feeling of her body moving around his sheets and the gossip she would come home with everyday.

Tsukishima sighed, getting ready for bed and (Y/N)’s morning call. That was another big thing: the 16-hour difference that came between them.

As soon as he got into bed, his phone started ringing and he picked it up without hesitation.

“Hi Kei!”

Tsukishima smiled, noticing her still sleepy voice.

“Good morning, baby.”

He could tell she was tired but her voice was still warm. He laid on his bed, phone pressed to his ear, room dimly lit as he listened to her talk, telling him about the congress she had to attend and her outfit problems.

Usually, Tsukishima would offer snarky remarks towards her comments but she noticed something was wrong.

“Love, you still there?” She asked, voice gentle and soft in case he had fallen asleep.

"Yeah, I'm here," he muttered. His voice sounded lower, softer than usual.

There was a pause. (Y/N) knew him well enough to recognize when something was on his mind.

"Everything okay? You sound… different." He let out a sigh, one hand rubbing the back of his neck. It wasn't like him to be vulnerable, but these past few months had chipped away at his defenses. He didn't like it, but there was no escaping the truth of it. He missed her in a way that felt overwhelming.

"I…" He hesitated, the words feeling foreign, heavy. But he knew he couldn't hold it in any longer. "I miss you. A lot."

(Y/N) was quiet on the other end, probably taken aback by his honesty. Tsukishima wasn't one to openly admit his feelings, but tonight, something in him had cracked open.

"I miss you too," you said softly. "I’ll be back soon, you know that. Only 20 days.”

He nodded, though she couldn’t see him. His heart pounded against his chest as if urging him to say more, something deeper, something he hadn’t quite put into words before. And then, before he could stop himself, it slipped out.

"I want to be with you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "For the rest of my life." The silence that followed felt like an eternity. His heart raced, and he almost regretted saying it. (Y/N) let out a shaky breath, and her shaky voice came through the line,.

"Kei… you really mean that?"

“Baby…” Tsukishima moved around his bed, his back now leaning into his headboard. “Are you crying?”

“Yes, sorry.” (Y/N) sniffed. “Sorry, I…”

Tsukishima felt his heart break and sighed, feeling like a complete asshole for saying something that big on the phone.

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Kei, no… I’m happy, I swear, I just—“ Tsukishima heard the soft knocking on the other side on the line. “I need to go. I’ll call you as soon as you wake up?”

“Okay.”

“Text me, okay?”

“Yeah.” Tsukishima bit his lip. “I love you, have a great day.”

“I love you too and I miss you like crazy. I love you, love you, love you. Can’t wait to see you. Sweet dreams.”

“I can’t wait. Love you.”

There was no way he was going to sleep that night.

*****

Baby: look at how cool this building is! Baby: the classrooms inside were insane lol, they showed me a lot of new material look! Baby: *photo attachment* Baby: *photo attachment* Tsukki<3: that is cool Baby: :o it’s 3 am!! what are you doing up? Tsukki<3: can’t sleep, moved to the living room to watch something on netflix Baby: *photo attachment* Baby: go to sleeeeeeeeep (◞‸◟) Tsukki<3: hmmm you are so beautiful Tsukki<3: not that tired, have a lot of my mind Baby: my love Baby: you need to sleep Tsukki<3: are you free? want to see you Baby: no :( i’m about to meet with a linguist rn Tsukki<3: okay Tsukki<3: have fun and take a lot of notes Tsukki<3: *photo attachment* Baby: babyyyyusdksjsnsmwkskc Baby: my handsome baby Baby: miss you miss you miss you Baby: ttyl muack muack *****

After a few restless hours watching a film he was clearly not interest in and trying to write an essay, Tsukishima dozed off, only to be woken up by his phone vibrating next to his ear.

He groggily reached for it, fixing his glasses he had forgotten to take off before sleeping, squinting at the bright screen.

His eyes widened at the big photo of (Y/N)'s contact photo he took and he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he answered.

"Hey."

“Kei…” (Y/N)'s voice was soft, and it already soothed some of the anxiety that had built up since their last conversation. Suddenly, her face appeared on his screen and he smiled warmly at the sight of her. She was back in the hotel room she was staying at during these past days before she had to go back to the "teacher" residences at the university she was conducting her research. "Were you asleep?"

"Yeah." He yawned. "Sorry, I didn't see your texts."

"It's okay." (Y/N) placed her phone on the bedside table and walked around the room, trying to find a clean blouse to change into. "Give me a minute, I just need to change my shirt."

"That's fine."

(Y/N) took off her black t-shirt, the sight of her back and the blue bra she was wearing sending shivers down Tsukishima's back, as if he was a teenager seeing his girlfriend shirtless for the first time. He coughed a little bit as (Y/N) put on the clean blouse and picked up the phone again. "Sorry."

"It's nothing."

"No, no. I'm sorry for crying earlier. I... I got my period this morning and I was overwhelmed."

"Oh."

"Yeah, couldn't even concentrate during the long meeting. Thank God Fujimoto-san was with me the whole time, he took a lot of notes."

"You don't have to apologize for that," Tsukishima said, running a hand through his messy hair. "I... I wasn't expecting to say it out loud. It just... I've been thinking about it."

There was a pause for a second and (Y/N) smiled. "I couldn't stop thinking about it, you know? My not-so-mushy boyfriend Tsukishima Kei saying those big words... It was completely unexpected."

"Yeah, I know."

"But..." Her voice came through, quieter now. "I feel the same. Well, I guess I've always felt it, especially this last year where we have had so many changes. It feels like we have grown so much this past year."

"Yeah, totally."

"I just didn't expect to hear it when I'm halfway across the world from you. And I totally thought I was going to be the one to say it."

Tsukishima let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He needed that confirmation from her. He needed her to say that she felt the same way so he could let his insecurities go away. So that he couldn't finally go to sleep not feeling alone and worried about her and how this stupid distance was slowly killing him inside.

He smiled, leaning back into the couch, suddelny finding comfort in it. "The timing could have been better."

(Y/N) laughed softly, looking at her boyfriend on the other side of the screen. "Maybe. But our relationship is like that and hearing you say it was what I needed."

Tsukishima focused his eyes on her once again, a silence forming between the couple, a silence filled with understanding, love and care for each other.

"I miss you."

"Counting the days to see you."

In typical (Y/N) fashion, she leaned her head on her hand and sighed. "So... was that your way of proposing, or are you saving the big question for when I get back?"

Tsukishima groaned, shaking his head as she laughed.

"Why do you always have to do that?"

"Do what, exactly?" She teased, voice more playful. "I'm just asking. I need to be prepared."

"You're insufferable, you know that?" he muttered a smile tugging at the corners of his lips now.

"Hey, that totally sounded like a proposal, you know?" she replied, clearly enjoying herself.

Tsukishima rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was smiling now. “For the record, I’m not proposing over the phone. I have more class than that.”

“Oh?” She giggled softly. “So you’re saying it’s coming, then? Noted.”

He let out a tired chuckle, the tension completely gone now. "You’re impossible. Before even proposing, we should finish university and move together."

"I wouldn't mind that."

Tsukishima smiled widened. "Moving with me?"

(Y/N) shrugged, blushing slightly.

"It would be..."

"Nice, right?"

"Tsukishima Kei, this isn't a proposal but are you asking me to move in with you?"

“I want you to move in with me when you get back,” he said, the words rushing out before he could second-guess them.

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line, and his heart thudded in his chest. But then the silence was broken by a quiet, disbelieving laugh.

“Wait… are you actually serious?” (Y/N) asked, voice shaky with surprise.

He let out a long breath, raking his fingers through his hair, trying to sound casual even though his heart was racing. “You heard me. I want you to move in with me. This whole long-distance thing... I hate it. And I don’t want to spend another day apart when you come back. So, move in.”

For a moment, there was nothing but quiet breathing on the line, and he felt his stomach twist. But then, through the screen, he saw her face light up, eyes wide with disbelief and joy. And before he knew it, she was on her feet, jumping up and down in the hotel room like she couldn’t contain herself.

“Are you serious?!” she squealed, still bouncing around, a huge grin plastered across her face. “Kei, are you serious right now?!”

Tsukishima leaned back on the couch, watching (Y/N) through FaceTime with a grin that he couldn’t quite hold back. She looked so ridiculously happy, practically glowing, and it made his heart swell in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m not joking, am I?”

She was still jumping, excitement overflowing as she let out a little scream of happiness as tears ran through her cheeks, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh my God! Kei! Yes, of course, I’ll move in with you! I am crying because... because you just made me the happiest woman in the world."

He couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest as he watched her practically bouncing off the walls. “You’re going to break something at this rate,” he teased, his voice lighter than it had been in weeks.

“I don’t care!” she shot back, grinning ear to ear as she finally stopped jumping, catching her breath. “I’m so happy right now, I could scream it from the window! Oh my God, we are actually going to live together, what the hell? We need to plan a lot of things."

Tsukishima smirked, shaking his head again, but the warmth in his chest remained. “Yeah, yeah. Just don’t get too excited. I don’t have that much closet space.”

"Are we going to live in your apartment? Or should we share mine? Well, we have to think about your future work at the museum and Yamaguchi and Yachi. Oh, also the fact that I'll spend another year at uni trying to complete the book. Maybe we should look for one-bedroom apartments around the area, right? Actually, one-bedroom apartment may be small for us, something with at least two bedrooms. Oh! We can use that second bedroom to do a office space for both of us! Yamaguchi is leaving the apartment anyway, right? Well, we'll see." She laughed, rambling already about future plans, her joy so contagious that it made Tsukishima's heart feel lighter than it had in months. “While we look for apartments, you better clear out some drawers for me. I'm not moving from your apartment the second I get back in Japan!”

He couldn’t help but smile, the sound of her laughter filling the empty apartment through his phone. For once, the distance didn’t feel so suffocating.

The idea of her being with him, of her sharing the same space every day, made the months apart seem worth it. It made the wait bearable, knowing that soon, she’d be coming home not just for a visit, but to stay with him forever, he hoped.

“I miss you, Kei,” she whispered, voice almost breaking through the distance between you. “I can’t wait to come home to you”

“I miss you too,” he said, the words easier now. "I always do."

*****

User 1.

YTA. Sorry but saying that while she's away is just going to hurt both of you. I feel like you should have waited until she's back home.

User 2.

I feel like I'm missing some context here. What did she say after you mentioned it? Btw, when are you proposing? that totally sounded like a proposal, do you have any idea? haha

(OP) tsuk113_: I'm getting to answer this after she's finally back home, sorry haha. Well, she started crying. I got really stressed about it because we couldn't talk that much afterwards but she called as soon as she could and we talked about it. Some big changes are happening in our lives at the moment but they are really good and I'm excited about them.

About the proposal... We'll see. Soon? haha

User 2.

Cool! Happy for you, man! YTA-ish at the beginning but not now lol

[luveline]

Hi, I’ve never sent a request before so forgive me if this sounds weird I’m still learning how to use Tumblr lol but what if Eddie and reader go to Roan’s school for parent-teacher conference and her teacher shows them something Roan wrote or made expressing how much she loves her new mom and her new little family🩷 and reader cries from how happy and loved Roan and Eddie make her feel🥹

ty for ur request, it doesn't sound weird at all! eddie and roan —you and eddie attend roan's PT conference, stepmother!reader, 1.2k

You hide from the biting winter wind in Eddie's side. “Is it supposed to be this cold?” you ask. 

“You sound surprised. It's December,” he says, though he puts his arm over your shoulders to cover as much of you as he can. “I told you to wear a coat.” 

“The coat ruins my outfit,” you say. 

“You being cold ruins the outfit.” He nods towards the step up into the school building. “You could say the outfit ruins what's underneath–” 

“What's wrong with you?”  

“An appreciation for my wife?” 

“Stop saying that, you're confusing people. Steve asked me last night if we got married in private–” 

“You're always talking to Steve,” Eddie complains, “he doesn't even call me anymore, he just wants to talk to you.” 

He'd called to ask if he was still babysitting, actually, but Eddie wouldn't know that because he and Roan had been playing monsters at the time, speaking to each other in gruff tones while they made sandwiches for dinner. 

“You have a problem.” 

Eddie can't decide whether to bicker or dote, squeezing you tightly, a promise about new problems lost to the growing ruckus of the elementary school after hours. Some parents have brought their children, but the majority stand chatting in lines to see the teachers. You and Eddie have come through the main entrance of the building rather than the side door where Roan enters, and the walk to Mrs. Lundy's room is longer than usual, though far from unpleasant. Light shines through the windows where a rainbow of creatures have been painted, leaving glowing shapes of apricot, cerulean, and lilac on your skin as you pass. 

“You're like a Christmas tree,” Eddie says. 

“I just need some tinsel.” You point at the decorations hanging from Mrs. Lundy's doorway. “Like that.” 

“You want some tinsel? I'll get you some tinsel, baby, just give me a minute. And maybe distract her.” 

You refuse to help him steal from Mrs. Lundy, and spend your time in line waiting with his hands held firmly in yours to prohibit any theft. Eddie moans about being jailed but is otherwise content. He quite likes it, actually, rearranging your fingers to stroke your knuckles. 

Mrs. Lundy is smiling, happy to see you and brag about your girl. She starts with Roan's general education, her behaviour, her grades, though this young she doesn't have grades so much as milestones. Roan is smart but no wizz kid (not that you care), she's kind (but not always good at sharing), she's loud, and rambunctious, a great artist, and she's very, very happy. 

“She talks about your wedding all the time. Every day. She tells us she's going to be the flower girl, and the best man, and that she has a beautiful dress.” Mrs. Lundy beams. “She's walking on sunshine.” The teacher's smile turns soft, almost wistful. “Well, she's Roan. You know what she's like better than I do.” 

Your cheeks ache with pride. 

“She's a good kid,” Eddie says. 

“Yes!” Mrs. Lundy reaches across the desk for a turquoise-coloured folder. “There was actually something I wanted to share with you both… You know we have creative writing assignments, and obviously we help them with making real sentences, but what she has to say is very much of her own volition.” 

Mrs. Lundy pulls a sheet of paper from the folder and puts it down in front of your hands. “The prompt was what makes you happy,” she says. 

The first sentence is simple. 

My mommy. 

A drawing of you decorates the page above the lines, so clearly you, your smile wide and pink. 

My mommy is kind and I love her. Dad sayd the wedding is speshul becase he loves her, but she will be my mom. She makes me so happy. Mommy says she loves me all of the time, and she brushus my hair. My best part of the day is when Y/N comes home and hugs me. We are so happy, and Lucky gets dinner. I love my dad too, and Uncle Wayn. 

Her spelling errors have been corrected in green pen, and her backwards letters are written forwards for her to copy. You read the entire paragraph in a blur, thinking about how long it must've taken her to get it all down, nearly an entire page in her bubbly handwriting, big letters running off of the page. 

“Needless to say,” Mrs. Lundy says, “that most children write about their families, or their pets, or their toys. But Roan was extremely focused on the word love. She's clearly going home to a loving home every night.” Mrs. Lundy smiles at Eddie. You nearly miss it, reading the paragraph again, and then a third time. 

“Can I take this?” you ask, clearing your throat, tears brewed and bobbing on your waterline, desperate to be shed. “Is that okay?” 

Eddie laughs and elbows you in the arm. “Come on, it's hardly news.” 

You wipe your eyes before you can cry in front of them both. “I'm sorry, just– can I?” 

Mrs. Lundy beams again, emphasising the well-worn smile lines at the corners of her lips and creasing beside her eyes. 

You hold it together well for a little while. Eddie talks over your wobbly silence, a hand on your shoulder, assuring Mrs. Lundy that you're all, in fact, very happy, and he's just glad that Roan is being a good student and friend to her classmates. Mrs. Lundy's kindness and Roan's love letter to you has knocked you entirely off kilter, and you're crying before you've reached the car. They're happy tears. 

“Come on,” Eddie says, taking the paper you've folded carefully from your fingers as they clench. “She's said nicer to you in person.” 

And sure she has. Roan loves hitting you with the saccharine when you're not expecting it. Drying her hair after bath time, totally distracted, she'll kiss your cheek and say, “You're so pretty.” She sprinkles I love you's wherever they'll fit like her dad does, and she shows it with little gifts and cuddles and invitations. Y/N, do you want to have a fashion show with me? Y/N, can we have ice cream in bed? Can I do your hair, please, mommy? 

“It's different. It's different,” you insist, scrambling to find the words. “She's…” You rub your eyes. Your makeup is smudging, but you can't help it. “I don't even know what to say.” 

Eddie shrugs. Lean shoulders, a loving arm behind your back, the car in sight but getting no closer, he comforts you in the middle of the parking lot while the passing headlights kiss your shoes. “You know how much she loves you, babe. This is a good thing, right? You're not upset?” 

“Not upset,” you clarify. 

“Okay, good. Is this a bad time for me to say that I am profoundly jealous right now? I used to get all the drawings and cards, I used to get Mother's day gifts. I have a mother's day card up in the attic… might have to get it out,” —he kisses your cheek— “just to cope.” 

You laugh through a sniffle. “Let's go get it,” you say. 

He presses Roan's assignment back into your hand. “You can keep that one, but don't get it out around me. I'm serious.” 

[gothicknightz]

family ties | ethan landry

notes: oh boy you guys are gonna like this one. VERY MAJOR SCREAM SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!!!!!!! I cannot get any more specific than that.

part 2 out now!

When she moved to New York with her best friend, they both had planned on getting an average college education, having fun, and graduating. 

That was it.

Why couldn’t it have been that simple?

The four of them were stranded in the abandoned lobby of the theatre when Sam had gotten a call from the Detective, claiming that he had done some digging into Kirby and that she was let go from the FBI a couple of months ago for being mentally unstable, and he believes she is the killer.

She quickly turned her attention towards Sam, “What?” She snapped, her arm still wrapped up from her paired attack alongside Mindy on the subway. 

Putting a foot down, she crossed her arms, “There’s no way we can stay here.” Attempted to try the entrance in which they came in, to find out it was locked, “Shit.” She turned around quickly to face the, “It’s locked.”

The group frantically looked for a way out of the theatre, as they weren’t going to be trapped with the possible killers. Tara had noticed some sort of fire escape, but that wasn’t until Ghostface appeared and attacked the group, which they fought back. 

Chad decided it was a good time to be a hero, as he fought against Ghostface so that the girls could run. This proved to be a bad decision for him, as a second Ghostface came up and started stabbing alongside the other before ushering the trio back into the theatre.

As the five of them make their way back into the theatre, Kirby suddenly reappears out of nowhere and claims that she was knocked out by two Ghostfaces, but the trio can’t trust her after the Detective’s claims, who arrives subsequently after Kirby.

After what seemed to be a battle for trust, the Detective shoots Kirby, revealing himself as the third killer.

(y/n) screams as she was the closest, her heart racing in anticipation, afraid of what was going to happen next when the other two Ghostfaces de-mask themselves. Subsequently, after the Detective reveals himself to be the third killer, the Ghostface wearing Nancy Loomis’ mask revealed himself.

It was Ethan, (y/n)’s best friend. The friend she had planned on getting a college education and graduating with. The friend she had known for years, the friend who was responsible for their firsts.

Somebody she had trusted.

It was then revealed that Quinn was the final Ghostface, much to everyone’s shock, as they had seen and heard of the brutal murder Quinn had endowed.

The trio was cornered at each end by the three killers, with Sam slowly connecting the pieces that all three of the killers were related to none other than Richie Kirsch, one of the killers of the Woodboro Massacre in 2022.

As the trio was attacked and coerced back to the center of the theatre by the killers, the Detective sighed, “It wasn’t until I saw that photograph of what you had actually done to him, that I knew.”

“That I knew you had to fucking die- that you had to be punished, along with anyone else who stands in our way.”

Pushed and insulted by Quinn, Sam, and Tara were forced to stand in front of the Detective, with Ethan taking hold of (y/n), and holding a knife to her throat.

As the Detective went on about how he indulged in his son’s love for the Stab movies, and how they were a bit dark for him, he explained that there was no deeper bond than of a father and his firstborn.

“Despite the loss of Richie, I couldn’t have been happier after learning of a new addition to our family.”

The look on both the sisters’ faces was beyond puzzled as they watched the detective make grandiose gestures as he waved the gun in (y/n)’s direction.

“I knew it was a bit young for those two to get hitched, but,” the Detective paused, taking a breath for a brief smile, “She made it a lot easier to get us in here, and I’ve never been more proud of a future daughter in law, right (y/n)?”

The Carpenter sisters had another round of fear and shock as they turned their heads to one of the closest friends the gang had had, with even Mindy trusting them.

(y/n) was breaking away from a kiss with Ethan as Tara and Sam watched them in awe, the girl breaking into a fit of giggles and a content sigh.

“You know, Sam,” She said, turning towards the illegitimate daughter of the original Ghostface with her boyfriend slash fiance’s knife in hand, “You should really save the date.” She took a swing at the eldest Carpenter sister and laughed.

“Because it does fucking run in the family.”

[coochellati]

Would Bruno be calm, cool and collected or extremely neurotic and high strung if their partner is pregnant?? Asking for scientific purposes.

Hii!!!!!! I’d be happy to help with your “scientific research!”

Short answer: Bruno would be pretty high-strung, despite doing his best to remain cool and collected.

While rare, there are moments in Vento Aureo that show Bruno can freak out—take this panel, for example:

Here, you can see his real feelings seeping out of him. While he may not have entirely lost his composure in this high-pressure situation, it's still clear he's stressed. It makes sense, after all, because he is on a time crunch—the train is leaving within the next minute, and he still hasn’t figured out what to do with the key. Additionally, if he doesn’t get this right, the safety of Trish and his team could be in jeopardy.

While reflecting upon this topic, I’ve noticed something about Bruno's ability to remain calm--it mostly comes into play when he’s facing off against an enemy. Moments that emotionally influence him in major ways, such as when he finds out about what Diavolo plans to do to his daughter or when he learns about the drugs Passione is peddling, are moments when he cracks. The thought of an incoming baby would impact him in the same way.

While pregnant, his partner will notice that Bruno is more jumpy than usual. Bruno will also be there for his partner at the drop of a dime (unless he’s preoccupied with something big—like a life-threatening situation at work), trying to make them as comfortable as possible. 2 am cravings? He's on it!

At work, Bruno’s coworkers will notice that he’s more touchy, especially the members of Team Bucciarati. (After all, they know Bruno best.) Sure, there are times when Bruno will act like his normal self, but the more stressful aspects of his job will cause him to lash out more like he was prone to doing in the latter half of Vento Aureo. Those around him will understand—Bruno is just anxious about the baby.

Many thoughts about his childhood will circle his head during this time, leading him to worry over his ability to be a good parent. He wants to raise his children in a home with a healthy family dynamic and give them the opportunities he never had, such as providing a good education. During his partner's pregnancy, he often thinks of his past and how he wants to give the same love to his children that his dad gave him. He also worries if this is something he’ll be able to give his children, given his line of work. As tough as it would be for him, he might even consider leaving Passione to focus on being there for his children.

Another reason Bruno feels insecure about being a suitable parent is that his upbringing was far from normal--before his partner's pregnancy, he hadn't given too much thought to his childhood, so when he finally sits back and reflects upon his past, it'll crush him when he realizes how fucked up it was. The way Bruno had to defend and take care of his father during his childhood was something that never should have happened to him, and as the baby's due date approaches, he realizes that he doesn’t want his kid to worry about him the way he worried for his late father. He'll do anything to keep his kids from experiencing a rough upbringing like his own.

thanks for the ask!!!! <3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hey sex witch!

I’m in my first relationship and neither my bf or I have had partnered sex. We both come from evangelical purity culture backgrounds. I’ve done years of work on educating myself and reconnecting with my sexuality. We’re both on the same page that we’d like to have sex. But I recently realized (after months of dating) the extent to which he is not in the same place as me.

He hasn’t done much at all to discard his sheltered upbringing. He admitted he knew very little about sexual anatomy or how arousal works. He has a hard line that we don’t do anything sexual that involves genitals until he isn’t freaked out by the idea. Obviously I’ve respected that boundary and I sympathize with it, but the idea is that we’ll get to that eventually.

I’ve asked him to do the self-work required to get us both to where we want to be sexually, but he gets weirdly defensive about not knowing stuff and really isn’t making any progress on educating himself or getting more comfortable with his sexuality. I recently told him that I don’t feel very secure in his seeming lack of curiosity and initiative in this area and he took it pretty personally.

Is it reasonable that this has shaken my faith in the relationship? Should I keep waiting for him to get it together? Do you have any good resources that cover basic sex ed for adults, or talk about dealing with sexual shame and self-image?

Thanks for all you do on this blog (Batfam takes included)!

hi anon,

I remember reading this right before I took my little inbox hiatus and really looking forward to answering it, so thank you for your patience.

based on the information I have access to, it seems seems like there's a definite need for a check-in here. if the current understanding in your relationship is that there are certain places where you're paused barring certain criteria being met - you would both like to have sex, but he needs to get to a place where he's able to engage with that comfortably - and he's not doing anything to meet those criteria, then that warrants a conversation about where exactly he feels like he's stalling out.

seeking out new information can be daunting, especially if it's information that someone feels like they're "supposed" to already know. it can be embarrassing and shameful, and having that lack of information pointed out can compound that embarrassment.

it might be fun for you and your partner to start seeking out information together. you could watch Lindsey Doe's Sexplanations videos to start nailing the basics of anatomy and arousal, or check out a lighthearted and bingable series like Sex, Explained, How to Build a Sex Room, or the Principles of Pleasure to get sex into the conversation in a way that's low-pressure and fun. maybe you could even start a book club - maybe something like Ruby Rare's book, Sex Ed for Adults?

of course, if all of this leads to a whole lot of nothing and your boyfriend remains uninterested in learning alongside you, it may be time for a serious conversation about the future of your relationship. it's all fine and good if he's a reluctant learner and isn't ready to have sex quite yet, but you also have the right to move on when things are moving at a pace that's gotten to be too slow for you and is no longer meeting your wants and needs.

[god-i-hope-so]

I’ve been feeling like the more mature audience loves Tommy, and gets him better and that the Tommy haters are the younger fans.

I might be very much wrong about this but thats what the petty of it all feels like.

That being said I love you and your blog!

#bucktommyseason8 ❤️

Hey anon!

I think many things come into play in this situation. But it really seems like older fans are seeing a bigger picture for Buck's storyline, and what Tommy, as a character, represents. Not just as an LI but as a person in the 9-1-1 universe too. While many, mostly bvddies, see a character in the way of their ship, we see someone who carved his own path, made mistakes and definitely changed (we don't make up stuff, it's all on-screen in season 2), which makes S7 really special for both.

I think an older audience, who has lived more, can relate a lot more easily. The path of life is long and we all change, we all make mistakes and the best of us learn from them to become better persons. 9-1-1 is not a "serious" show but it is, in fact, very educational for the general audience. This kind of TV show will use many ways to teach "good values" to people: acceptance, tolerance, bravery, enduring love through pain and hardships, honesty, and many more. These shows are not silly comedies. So when they show Buck being on a new path of his long and rocky journey, where he seems to finally find some real happiness, how can we not be happy for him? When you can relate to that, you can only be relieved for him.

Then you have people who only watch it for a single potential ship, obsess over a single character/actor, and will ruin the simple and light-hearted fun we all could have. But that's also part of the game, it's just a shame it comes with so much violence and hate. I hope those people grow peacefully and learn that life is not about one obsession after the other.

And thanks for the kind words 💙

[flippinpancakes64]

I’D LOVEEEE if you could do a cullens x indian s/o ? there’s NOTHING with Indian x Twilight so i’d super appreciate it ! you don’t have to be super educated about the indian culture just mentioning the outfits and food are enough ! TYSM ! also its fine if u can’t do it . I loveee ur work and I ADORE the fact that you don’t like angst like LETS BE HAPPY LOL !

The Cullens with an Indian! SO

I’ve mentioned it before but I am a white woman and I do not know like anything so sorry if this is completely wrong 🙏

And I’m so glad that someone else loves fluff!!! Like just let me be happy if I wanted to be sad I’d go talk to my dad or smthn fr

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

This man has over 10 degrees

He loves to learn

So he is more than willing and happy to sit down and learn about your culture

He asks so many questions

The last thing he wants is to assume something to be true and then embarrass himself when it’s not

So yes he will ask about literally every single little thing

Does his best to respect your culture as well

He wants to learn about all of your folk tales

He wants to listen to all of the music

Hell, he’ll even fly you out to India if you want to go

And he doesn’t take shit from anyone

If anyone says anything that could be even remotely perceived as racist, he is sending them the hardest glare ever

Also there’s a pretty good chance that he can speak Hindi so at least he’ll impress your family

Alice:

She LOVES your culture

She appreciates fashion of all kinds

But I feel like she would love the intricate designs and patterns of sarees and henna especially

Invite her to a wedding please please please

She doesn’t care whose it is

She just wants to go and admire all of the outfits

She is also very open to learning anything you want to teach her

You have a recipe that has been passed down in your family for generations? She’s ready to learn it

Also your parents definitely love her

How could they not tbh

If you wear henna a lot, look no further than your personal artist

She just has so much love and respect for your culture

And you of course

Jasper:

He’s pretty inexperienced

If you asked him what language is commonly spoken in India he would say Indian

But once he meets you and starts to get more comfortable around you, he does his own research

He doesn’t want to burden you with making you explain everything to him

He’s so worried about screwing something up that he just… doesn’t do anything

Like if he reads something about there being a specific holiday, he doesn’t do anything for it

He just gets in his head about what if you don’t celebrate that, what if he does the wrong thing, what if it’s not a holiday at all

You’re gonna need to help him out a little

Or else he’s just gonna stay stewing in his own self doubt for forever

But he’s got the spirit

Rosalie:

She knows next to nothing about basically every culture that’s not American

Not because she doesn’t want to learn

But because it’s just never been a relevant thing for her

Like no she has no idea about the cultural practices in India because she’s never had to go there or been close to anyone from there

But now you’re here, she loves you, and she wants to learn

She finds that she absolutely loves the clothing styles

Especially at weddings

I mean, she already loves extravagant weddings

So this is right up her alley

She’s a little sad to find out the fact that henna doesn’t do anything to her skin

So she just makes do by doing it on yours ❤️

Emmett:

Ok this is going to sound bad but stick with me

He doesn’t particularly care about your culture

Not in a mean way of like “you want me to celebrate what with you? No not doing it”

But in a way of it’s not what’s most important to him

You as a person is more important to him than your cultural background

That doesn’t mean he isn’t willing to learn

It just means he’s more likely to remember your birthday than a holiday

But again, he is more than willing to learn anything you want to teach him

He will sit down and listen to anything you want to say

And he will remember it perfectly

But he doesn’t go out of his way to seek out the knowledge

But he is the best when it comes to people being racist

He can throw a punch with the force of a semi truck and he’s not afraid to do it

Esme:

We know that she does her homework when it comes to meeting new people

She made Italian food for Bella because she was 90% sure she was Italian

I feel like she carries that same energy

She does her best to cook food or put on movies that she thinks you’ll like

But overall food is definitely her favorite

She loves to cook, it’s one of her favorite hobbies

But she doesn’t have anyone to cook for

So you best believe she is always making something for you to eat

And she does her best to learn traditional dishes and how to make them

Carlisle:

He has traveled all over the world and experienced many cultures

He knows all about the history and culture of your country

So you don’t really need to explain anything to him

He’s just respectful like that

King

He will go with you to all of your parties or family get-togethers

He will help you make any dish at all

And he will fly you anywhere in the world or sightsee any country you want

But your culture isn’t the thing he notices most about you

He just loves you

Vampire! Bella:

She’s super curious

She has been three (3) places in her whole life

Forks, Arizona, and Italy for all of a day

So she knows actually nothing about your culture

Sure she knows what she learned in school, but honestly that’s not a lot

She wants to know everything that you’re willing to tell her

What holidays you celebrate, your favorite foods, the history of your family

And she will definitely try her best for you

You might have to be the one to drape her saree

[ossiethegreat]

Do you have any shipkid of your own (that you made for utmv)?

YES I DO!! I only have two that have actual backstories so I’ll share them :3

I’ve already mentioned Keiko on my TikTok a few times, but Sinklair is relatively new :3 they’re both Colorkiller ship children if that wasn’t obvious enough, but they exist in different timelines. (Neither have both parents LMAO)

Yap session below

Keiko - 15, he/him, transmale, autistic + aroace

Soul traits - integrity, patience, kindness

Keiko exists in a timeline where Color failed to save Killer basically- Killer ends up dying in a fight with Color (and similarly to how PJ was made, Keiko randomly appeared). Color ended up taking Keiko to the Omega Timeline and raising him there, with emotional support from Epic and Delta.

Keiko didn’t have much of an education because he was more interested in doing his own things- he would only attend school to take science classes because he likes science, computers, and technology. :3 (he also hates social interaction)

Obviously by his sweater and slippers, he also likes cats a lot, much like Killer did. After Killer’s death, Nightmare ended up replacing him with a new Killer from a different Something New timeline, but Color decided not to chase after him again, for the sake of giving Keiko a decent childhood. It was also bad for his own health, and his friends convinced him it was better to let it go.

Sinklair - 17, he/they, boyflux, pansexual

Soul traits - Justice, determination

Sinklair on the other hand was born after Killer’s good ending. Color and Killer were living together for a short while in the Omega Timeline, but Nightmare (who was petty and wanted to get back at Killer for leaving him) killed Color shortly after Sinklair was born. (Guys they can’t be happy)

Killer obviously was not very happy about that (😭😭). As someone who normally saw death as a minor inconvenience, he had a lot of mixed feelings about it. But he couldn’t be trusted to cope by himself, because he still hadn’t fully healed from everything else, so Dream offered to keep him company.

Because of that, Sinklair grew up mostly around Dream, Swap, and other members of the Star Sanses, so he learned a lot about battle and combat, and it inevitably became an interest for him. He had a normal education, and later he joined the Star Sanses to pursue his love for combat. (Hence his uniform)

Guys am I cringe /j

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 43

PREV

FF is a pretty good student. Solid Bs in his Gen-eds and As in regard to his major. With one C+ that he’s still working on with Captain Neil but it’s higher than the D+ that he had been pulling before Captain Neil had started to tutor him and he really just needs to pass the one gen-ed required math class.

There was many a deep breathing exercise before he made an appointment with his educational advisor for the next semester back in October but it hadn’t been that bad even though she was the one that had asked if he knew anyone good at math since it obviously was not a strong suit of his. So he dragged his grade up from a D+ to a C+ and he was pretty proud of that.

FF has a preferred spot in each and every one of his classrooms. In his Gen-Ed courses he sits in spots that the Professors don’t even notice and where there is almost always a gap between him and the next person. He arrives perfectly almost late every single day for every single class he can to achieve this feat.

For his Major classes he sits near the front with the few Foreign Language major friends that he has.

FF likes to be prepared. Studying was a nice way to prepare for the future. If he’s already read the entire textbook front to back and taken notes then a pop quiz can’t catch him off guard. He double, triple, and quadruple checks homework. He could probably recite the syllabus for any of his classes off the top of his head. He has read it so much to make sure he’s gotten everything and is on track.

FF kind of likes finals week.

For once, for one week, everyone is as anxious as him.

He sits next to Nicky patting his back as his friend sobs into a pillow. “I’m not going to graduate and it’s going to delay seeing Erik by an entire year!” Nicky yells as he brings his face out of the pillow.

“Nicky, you only got one flashcard wrong how about you shut the fuck up!” Aaron yells from his desk where he seems to have spontaneously developed ambidextrousness as he writes notes with both hands. “Fuck I am NEVER fitting all of this one one index card.” Aaron slams his face into the table.

“I don’t even need this degree.” Matt says looking down at a textbook that he has not turned a page on for the last hour. The fact that Matt had also not even opened that textbook before now was a bit of a cause for concern. “I’ve already got offers for professional teams. I can just play Exy. I do not need to pass a workplace psychology course.” Matt says.

“You think Dan wants an idiot?!” Nicky demands not wanting to go down alone.

“She thinks it’s cute that I’m stupid!” Matt exclaims.

“No she doesn’t!” Aaron points at him, “She said and I quote ‘I love it when you use that big ol sexy brain of yours.’ the last time you had her on speaker phone!” he uses a slightly more…effeminate voice when he impersonates Dan but FF had spoken with Dan and to his memory she did not sound like that.

“Fuck you’re right she deserves an all rounder!” Matt cries, head in his hands.

“Why do I even have to TAKE this Gen-Ed about history?” Nicky demands now holding onto FF as if he were a teddy bear.

“So that we’re well-rounded individuals with a wider perspective on-”

“Smithy, my sweet child, I was not looking for an answer.” he feels Nicky’s hand come up to his hair and maybe he’s being treated more like a favored pet?

“You’re having trouble with a Gen-Ed?!” Aaron asks turning around in his seat, “That’s embarrassing.” he turns his nose up.

“I’m having trouble with something that is going to be useless in my adult life.” Nicky says as if he were not currently an adult. “You are having issues with a class that will have huge ramifications on your future if you don’t manage to learn it!” Nicky points out.

“Eat my shorts Nicky.” Aaron hisses.

“Maybe I could study if you would wash your shorts Aaron. I can smell your laundry pile from over here!” Matt spits.

The fight devolved from there and FF slipped out of the dorm as Nicky was holding a chair over his head to seemingly throw at Matt for his ‘unreasonable number of sticky notes messing up the flow of Nicky’s studying’.

He heard a crash.

“It’s probably fine.” he says to himself and he has his index cards with the speech he has to give for and he really should go over to talk with Captain Neil.

He walks to Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door and- “There faster-!”

FF walks away from Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door, remembering only in this moment that Kevin had declared that he would be “Living in the library until this paper is done or I am.” to the team at the last practice of the year.

Captain Neil and Andrew were never the type to waste an empty dorm room.

He misses Pepto Bismol as he hears a particularly dirty line of Russian coming from his Captain’s dorm room.

***

Eventually Finals week is done and dusted with only 4-5 more blow-ups in his dorm room that result in Nicky, Aaron, and Matt stopping their fight to see if they accidentally had knocked him out with all of the thrown debris (only happened once when Aaron threw a textbook that Nicky ducked but he didn’t.)

FF came out of his final…final feeling pretty good all around. He had managed to get some extra tutoring time with Captain Neil after Kevin managed to finish his history paper a little early. Despite all of their fears and complaints Aaron, Nicky, and Matt all did manage to pass all of their finals and their classes.

The Tower was closing tomorrow for the rest of the year and despite checking almost every day with Nicky he still was invited to go to New York City with most of the team to stay at Allison’s house.

“Smithy, did you pack a swimsuit?” Nicky asks.

“Nicky, we’re going to New York for Christmas break. Do you think we’re going to swim?” Aaron asks incredulously.

“Two words, my fetus of a cousin: Hot. Tub.” Nicky holds his hand up and putting one finger up and then another. “Is hot tub two words?” Matt asks as he reaches for his own swim trunks.

“Yes Matt hot tub is two words.” FF says nodding.

“Thank you Smithster.” Matt says.

“I can’t believe you don’t know that hot tub is two words.” Aaron says with a huff.

“I can’t believe that you don’t know how to not be an asshole even after you started getting regular sex with Katelyn.” Matt returns, “Look at how not a thing that was when Smithster answered it.” he gestures to FF.

“You cannot compare Smithy to Aaron. Apples and Tomatoes.” Nicky dismisses.

“Whatever, so Allison got a hot tub at her place?” Aaron moves past the conversation.

“Aaron you just made fun of Matt for asking stupid questions.” Nicky says with a hand on his cheek.

“I fucking hate being part of your family.” Aaron says without any real heat.

“Yeah sure.” Nicky says, rolling his eyes and smiling as he saw Aaron packing swim trunks that FF knew he had bought for his cousin.

“Okay, I’ve got the packing list that Allison sent. Do we wanna run through it so that we’re all properly packed?” Matt says holding up his phone.

“Yeah, let’s run through it.” Nicky says with a sigh.

They went through Allison’s provided list twice and then zipped up their suitcases. Smith was going to be driving to the airport with Matt. Neil and Andrew were going to be driving the Maserati up alone while the rest of them were going to be flying up to New York City.

Now onto something that filled FF with far more dread than simply passing tests that determined whether or not he continued to get a free ride in college.

Meeting new people.

NEXT >>

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

[jakeowen]

pls talk about homeschooling (genuinely interested)

so ok here’s the thing. i was a montessori kid who went on to receive a private progressive education through college. i think progressive education is wonderful and important. my dad was a montessori teacher and i spent four years working in education access inside an under-resourced high school (including pandemic years). the reason i mention this is that i do believe that mainstream education (both public and private schools) is failing kids and ultimately society. i have a lot of sympathy for parents who want a higher-caliber education for their kids and don’t know where to get it besides at home. one of my best friends was homeschooled because his parents (both professors) couldn’t find a school they were comfortable sending him to, and he turned out very intelligent and perfectly ok, if weird. i’ve also seen other positive examples of homeschooling, including a homeschool program at a nature preserve i worked at and homeschool that incorporates the occasional class at a local high school or community college or what have you. all this to say, i don’t think all motives for homeschooling are evil and i don’t think every single child who’s been homeschooled has been mistreated or denied positive social opportunities or whatever. however, all that said, even the best, highest-quality homeschooling should not be fucking legal.

after i was done working at a school, i went on to work at an organization serving unhoused youth and also teens in dcf custody, so i’ve seen a lot of shit, way more than enough to make me firmly believe that children are a uniquely vulnerable and marginalized population who are at high risk for exploitation. and the vast vast majority of exploitation and abuse happens inside the home. frankly you only need to meet one kid whose “homeschooling” was religious indoctrination designed to teach them to submit to their father raping them every night to be ready to burn the entire practice down. children are safest when they are part of the community, when they have access to multiple and varied points of view and responsible, caring adults representing those points of view. no child should ever be wholly at the mercy of their parents or any other single entity. it is simply not safe, and even if it were, it’s not healthy for a child’s cognitive development to only be exposed to one ideology, no matter how much or how little i agree with the particular ideology. part of healthy growth and development is the ability to integrate or discern different perspectives—it’s how you develop a bullshit detector, it’s how you learn to form your own opinions, and if you don’t build that skill in youth you are more susceptible to exploitation and indoctrination as an adult.

not all homeschool parents are fundamentalists who limit the perspectives their children can be exposed to. but the practice of homeschooling allows for this. the practice of homeschooling allows for abusive parents to lock their kids in cages and starve them and get away with it because there’s nobody to notice. any practice that provides a safe cover for the worst kind of abuse and exploitation is not a practice worth keeping, even if it does have the potential to work out well for a few kids.

the good news is that we actually already invented a way for children to get educated: it’s called school, and it exists free of charge in every community in the country. if you’re worried about the quality of your kids’ education, you can get involved! you can run for school board or join the pta/pto. you can also seek out or provide educational enrichment opportunities for your child that incorporate whatever you think they’re not getting at school. sunday school is a classic example of religious education supplementing school. my parents discussed current events with me, asked my opinion on things, shared theirs, and honestly answered my questions about other approaches/beliefs, and i learned a lot from that. even better than laying out enrichment opportunities for your kid, ask what THEY want to learn or feel like they’re not getting at school, and honor their autonomy by finding that for them or helping them find it. education does not begin and end at school, but it does not and cannot begin and end with parents either.

[wheelie-sick]

Hi! I’m just curious why you’re anti-psychiatry and the reasoning behind it if you’re comfortable sharing? I want to take care to specifically learn the reasoning so I can educate myself upon them, I’ve wanted to be a psychiatrist since I was a kid and so I’m wary of making any mistakes in my profession that could damage others or perpetuate harm. Thank you so much for your time. /genq

okay, first of all I'd recommend reading my post here which talks about why there are no good psychiatrists and this post here about how some people being helped by the system does not make the system good. they're long but the first is pretty foundational to my beliefs on psychiatry and the second covers the most common rebuttal I hear for antipsychiatry.

putting the rest of this under a cut because it's really fucking long because I wanted to provide some context to my beliefs and there's a lot of context

my foundational reasoning for being antipsychiatry comes from listening to other's experiences. I did not have a traumatic experience with psychiatry directly. I'm not going to repeat other's traumatic experiences but if you look through the antipsychiatry tags you can definitely find some of the repulsive things the psychiatric industry has done. my belief in antipsychiatry also comes from my experiences with therapy.

I have been cycled through many therapists who dropped me for being "too complicated" for them. my second most recent therapist I dropped after constant abuse from him.

-> TW for therapeutic abuse until "why I'm antipsychiatry" <-

my issues with my old therapist began when I first started seeing him. I was being actively abused at home and every time I tried to talk about the physical and emotional violence I was experiencing at home from my former father he would shut me down and tell me it was not abuse.

-> TW for descriptions of physical abuse for the next paragraph <-

I told him about the attempts to shove me down stairs. the times I was dragged around. the times I was thrown into the couch. the times I had my face slammed into a wall. the restraint. the hitting. the punching. the grabbing. I told him in detail. my mom has since admitted that I was abused by my former father.

He did not think it was abuse. he had an obligation to report this to CPS and he never did. he told me it was not abuse the minute I brought it up, before I ever even tried to use the word abuse. I could never talk about the violence I was experiencing because I would get shut down every time and eventually I gave up.

-> TW for emotional abuse for the next 2 paragraphs <-

several years later my former father disowned me. (that's why I call him my former father) he told me that he did not see me as his child anymore, that he hated me. he said some other rather disgusting things about me, most of which I will not repeat, but one sticks out. he told me mom that she should handle my being trans as if she was dealing with a dog; when it (and yes, he used the word it) misbehaves you should ignore it. this all happened in a single conversation.

in my next therapy session I was distraught. I didn't like my former father but it never feels good to be disowned. I was trying to talk to my therapist about this and I said "he hates me" my therapist doubted me and asked me "did he say he hates you or are you just perceiving he hates you" trying to, dare I say, gaslight me into thinking this was all my perception. he did this to me frequently when I brought up the emotional abuse I was experiencing. I said "yes, yes he did say that" and things got really quiet because for once he couldn't tell me it was all in my head. in that moment I lost all faith in him because I realized he was wrong. that he was manipulating me into believing I was the problem. that all these conflicts were my fault. but they were never my fault.

-> TW for mentions of self harm for the next 2 paragraphs <-

the final nail in the coffin came about 2 years later when I finally decided to open up about my self harm. I had relapsed on my self harm about 8 months prior, usually it was just a one off but this time it had spiraled out of control into the beginnings of an addiction. I wanted to stop, so I decided to open up to my therapist about it. he got angry at me. I was scared, and vulnerable, and he was angry. he asked me why I didn't tell him sooner, I said I was scared of hospitalization. a week later he threatened to hospitalize me multiple times after promising he wouldn't.

what actually made me drop him was 3 weeks later. I was tired of talking about self harm and I was feeling the same if it all. he asked me about it and I said I don't want to talk about it. he pressed mex accused me of avoiding therapy, threatened to hospitalize me if I didn't spit out adequate details. when I said I hadn't even self harmed that much he accused me of lying to him to avoid therapy. he crossed many boundaries that day and then pressured me into agreeing to fill out a form every week detailing all the information about my self harm down to how many cuts I made. that was my final straw. I was done.

why I'm antipsychiatry:

after that I started reflecting and realizing the whole thing was fucked up. from the starting point in 4th grade when I saw my first therapist to the ending point where I saw my second to last therapist (I had a therapist after the nightmare therapist, her name was Sara she was Deaf and amazing but largely unhelpful) the system was designed to produce bad therapists. the nightmare therapist was not the only bad experience I had with therapists, just the worst. they all liked to abuse their power over me, they all liked to deny my experiences and gaslight me into believing all my problems were my own perception rather than a real outside factor. this wasn't one bad therapist is was one bad system.

and I'm done. I'm so done. therapy has never helped me but it has hurt me and I don't think I can find a good therapist because the whole apple tree is rotting from the inside. I'm sticking with my psychiatrist because he has done minimal harm to me but my experience with therapy has thoroughly cemented that abuse isn't an exception it's the standard and therapists who aren't abusing their clients are breaking the rules. my experience is the norm and it shouldn't be but you can't reform a rotting tree you have to plant a new one.

that's what antipsychiatry also seeks to do. it's cutting down the apple tree but it's also planting a new, different fruit tree. a tree that respects autonomy of patients, that acknowledges patients' realities, that seeks to support not control and manipulate.

if you want to help people with their mental health I urge you to look into the alternatives to the psychiatric system and consider working there. the tree will turn you into a bad apple too because the tree is rotted but there's a new tree growing and you can find other ways to support people. admittedly I'm not the most familiar with alternatives to psychiatry but I know they do exist and they're becoming more common as people realize the damage the psychiatric system is doing.

sorry this was kinda a trauma dump but my antipsych beliefs largely stem from trauma so I wanted to share that context

[jbaileyfansite]

Interview with The Hollywood Reporter (2024)

Talking about his role in Showtime’s Fellow Travelers, Jonathan Bailey can’t help but be earnest. It’s a trait he calls out about himself but is learning to embrace, as he notes the importance of the series for LGBTQ+ viewers around the world, and within his own life, where it’s helped him chart a path forward and earned him his first Emmy nomination. 

“I’m so grateful that it’s for something that I can talk passionately about endlessly, and it feels really important,” Bailey says of the supporting actor nomination.

In the limited series, Bailey plays Tim Laughlin, an idealistic congressional staffer who falls in love with Hawkins Fuller, a career-first State Department official played by Matt Bomer. Their relationship begins during the Lavender Scare of the 1950s, when homosexuals were banned from holding positions in the federal government, and evolves across several decades, as the pair contend with the Vietnam War, the AIDS crisis and societal pressure. 

Bailey spoke with THR about the significance of the show, created by Ron Nyswaner and based on Thomas Mallon’s novel, and balancing the shooting schedule with Bridgerton and Wicked, as well as his upcoming role in Jurassic World 4. 

What made you say yes to this role?

I heard that Ron was going to be investigating and exploring 40 years of queer life and experience. But at that time, it looked like I might not be available. I pursued it. And after doing something like Bridgerton, it felt important to me to find something rich and complex. There’s nothing more of a gift than to be able to educate yourself, and also in the investigation and in the performance of it, to live a really dangerous life, but within safety, and, ultimately, write this love letter to those that came before us. I was enchanted by the idea, and there was no part of me that didn’t think it was the punkest thing to do. 

What impact do you hope this series can have? 

By stepping back 50 years or 70 years, you can highlight exactly what’s going on in our societies today. There’s rhetoric we hear now in politics that echoes Senator McCarthy’s speech that’s featured early on in the series. I’ve been in Thailand working recently, and there are so many people across the world now on these streaming platforms that get to watch it, and there are so many people who are living under a similar sort of regime to the Lavender Scare and the oppression of McCarthyism, and so much more extreme than that. I think the impact we wanted was for people to be celebrated, educated, and also for all the people who have lost their lives fighting, and spent their lives having to fight, to pay homage to them. I know this sounds incredibly earnest and sincere.

That’s not a bad thing.

No, it’s not. And that’s one thing that I’ve learned from Tim, because I can see how it’s changed the course in my life, put into focus levels of importance about how you communicate your own identity, and understanding that all of us inherit such a deal of shame, which comes from powerful figures using fear and an aggressive sort of alienation to control people. I’ve had more messages about this than anything I’ve ever done, and more people stopping me and wanting to talk about their own lives, whether they lost their fathers, their uncles, or they were children of someone who died in the ’80s. But then also now I get to live my life.

The thing that makes me really smile is that last Pride month, I was filming Wicked, and when I’m working, I’m incredibly disciplined and don’t really go out. But for Pride, me, Andrew Scott and Jessica Gunning all ended up on a night out together. We snaked through SoHo and had a really good bop that night. And it’s just so funny to see all of us now nominated for Emmys. It’s kind of extraordinary. And you think about that, about how now that’s being celebrated, which is amazing. But I look up and think, “Where are the 50-year-old and 60-year-old gay actors?” There’s a whole generation that’s been lost. That’s why the earnestness is afforded, for sure, and I feel very proud.

The Fellow Travelers scene, where Matt Bomer’s character seductively tells yours to “shut up and drink your milk,” has really taken off, especially after you turned it into a T-shirt collection with Loewe to raise money for your LGBTQ+ foundation, The Shameless Fund. What prompted that? 

I went to present an award for Matt at the [Human Rights Campaign] in Washington, and being in the room with people who were just so galvanized — it was my first American gala, and I was infected by the energy. I had this idea of a T-shirt, and it occurred to me that it should be about the spilling of the milk.

I think we had four scripts before we started, and there was one version of a sex scene, which I’ll leave to Ron Nyswaner to reveal at some point in the future, which was wild, and then when I saw that it moved to the milk. I just thought, this is such an incredible moment of the exploration of power within sex and intimacy. “Shut up and drink your milk.” It feels to me like an incredibly political line, somehow. 

Has playing Tim informed what roles you want to take on next?

Yes, a hundred  percent. Since then, I’ve magically been able to find parts that have similar character arcs, that have something massive to question and to overcome. But right now, I would say that I’d probably be looking for something as far away from Tim as possible, and I’m going back onstage anyway. I started in theater, and I wouldn’t have been able to give the performance in Fellow Travelers had I not done 12 weeks onstage just before it, because it’s so academic and it’s so in the body. You sort of have an exorcism, and you end up being a husk with no conversational skills or anything. But what you do have is stripped-back, pure instinct, which is so great to feel. I’m looking forward to going back onstage next year. But I’ll be excited to see what parts are lurking around the corner after that. 

You’re doing Richard II in the West End, another intense role.

Yes, and equally as sort of questioning and as poetic, I think, as Tim. In between running away from dinosaurs — I just spent a whole day doing stunts [for Jurassic World 4] — I just walked around Valletta with my AirPods on listening, trying to learn a soliloquy, and I’ve managed to get one soliloquy down, so I’m thrilled.

You were also shooting Fellow Travelers, while also shooting Bridgerton and Wicked, right? 

That’s right. The whole experience has just shown me how amazing producers can be. I think it was 32 days in a row where I didn’t have one day off. And I flew back and forth four times. I’d go from Hawk’s house in the ‘60s at the cabin, go straight to the airport, sleep on the plane, go straight to a regency ball, sleep there, then go straight to Wicked to be learning choreography. And at that point, I was so late in joining the Wicked lot, because they’d already started filming, and that also was incredible for Marc Platt to make that work. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of trying to work out the priorities of whether you have to learn the choreography today, or work on your American accent, or pelt your hair ready for another Bridgerton snog.

How did you keep track of all those different roles in your mind? 

I probably wouldn’t rush into doing that again. Music for me, is absolutely key, but it always sort of has been. It was an absolute freefall and luckily, I’ve got patient friends and family, and you just have to sort of sign off for a bit. I found playing Tim an incredibly happy place to be, which is also a testament to his spirit, I think, because obviously it was some really brutal stuff and the yearning and the constant battle that’s going on in his head of questioning what’s right and what’s wrong. But I would say that I was quite good at rolling all the way through and then at the end, I had a five-day holiday, and my hair had died from all the the perming and straightening, because I had to perm my hair for Bridgerton and straighten my hair for [Fellow Travelers]. I was like a teenage beauty advert, doing everything to my hair. I remember going on this holiday and I got to the beach, I sat down in the sun, and my hair was just like floating, whisping off, like breaking away. And I looked completely and felt completely insane.

Why did you want to do the new Jurassic World movie?

The original film Jurassic Park was just a completely life-changing moment because I went with my full family, and it was quite a rarity to all go, because I’ve got three older sisters. Every frame of that film is imprinted in my mind, and the Frank Marshall-Spielberg duo of the films in the ‘80s and ‘90s are just what totally encapsulated, enchanted and inspired so much in me. I couldn’t quite believe I was stepping into something that I so adore, and the script is brilliant. And it’s David Koepp again, who wrote the original, and it just asks some really brilliant fundamental questions that the original film did as well.

Source

[morganas-pendragons]

Haven’t We Given Enough? | Joel Miller

Okay, so hear me out. I've known about this game for years but have been exclusively an Xbox kid since like 2004 so I've never had the opportunity to play it. I heard Pedro was cast as Joel and I was shocked that I actually knew the actors playing Joel and Ellie. Saw the trailer, watched the entire first game gameplay, and now I'm here.

Whoops.

I will say this though: I'm really bothered that I could find like nothing but hardcore smut in the tag for this character. I aim to change that. Enjoy some hurt/comfort!

@ironmandeficiency​

This is meant for a fem!reader. There are themes of past pregnancy in this that may come back into play later (reader had and lost a child) so if that is something that makes you uncomfortable, read at your own risk. 

***

It’s remarkable how similar he is to the very thing you’ve thought him to be since you met. While Ellie is like a summer fire burning across empty, barren fields, Joel is the vengeful, unrelenting snow storm that threatens to pull you apart. 

He becomes increasingly good at it the longer you know him. Those dexterous, strong fingers wrap around the rungs of your ribs and pull them apart until the fragile beating thing you call a heart is exposed. 

That fragile beating thing has simply endured too much. It’s endured heartbreak, and loss, and pain, and it’s somehow still keeping you alive despite having lived through the beginning of the Outbreak and twenty years into it. 

Sheer determination has kept you alive. Not love, not your little sister, just a culmination of all the things you’ve endured that have turned into anger. 

It’s not like his anger though. Yours is calm. Methodical. Purposeful. 

Joel Miller’s anger is exactly like him: Vengeful, unrelenting, terrifying. It’s only once you meet that your anger begins to temper down into something he has never quite known. Not in this life anyway. 

Gentless. Compassion. 

Peace. 

And well, Joel Miller finds that the longer he knows you, the more he aches to learn what that really means. 

It’s weird. You know it’s a weird habit, but you’ve been doing it since you were a little girl and have a difficult time not falling back into old habits. People have often accused you of being aloof. Bashful. 

At the very least, people-watching is resourceful and educational. It really teaches you about what to expect from the ones you don’t quite know yet. 

People watching was how you found yourself drawn to Joel Miller. 

It started whenever Marlene sent Tess and Joel to smuggle the two of you out of the city. You were Ellie’s older sister - born before the Outbreak, almost fifteen years her senior - and her solely remaining blood family since your parents deaths. Your mother’s dying wish had been whispered into your ear with her final breath: Look after your sister. 

So you did. 

  “I will be damned if you even think I’m not going to follow that girl,” You snarled, jabbing your thumb into Marlene’s chest. “That’s my sister. My blood. My promise. You will not take that away from me.” 

The Boston QZ was, as to be expected, a literal hell. The only way that you and Ellie were going to survive was if you joined the ranks of the Fireflies. You did. You did, and it ruined you. Any remaining semblance of innocence that you had died years before. 

You didn’t want to think about that. It was past, it was gone, just like that part of who you’d been at that point. 

All gone. Just like the rest of the world. 

Marlene knew better then to argue with a Williams. Where you lacked, Ellie made up for it. It was comical how a fourteen year old girl, in certain situations, had more diplomacy then you did. 

She was the one who talked when Joel came into the room for the first time. 

  “Be careful with that one,” You warned afterward. Marlene snorted as both Williams sisters simultaneously crossed their arms over their chests and leaned into the counter as Joel left the room to confer with his partner. “He’s a storm.” 

Ellie knew of your comparisons. She knew of your uncanny ability to read people, to see people, and she’d never doubted you. Not once. 

  “Funny. First time you told me this, you said I was a fire. If he’s a storm...” She nudged her head uncertainly in the direction Joel had left in. “Then what kind of storm is he?” 

Your eyes flutter closed. You’d been able to gauge a lot just from those few minutes of conversation. “Winter,” You reply quietly. “One of those blizzards we got caught in the winter you turned four. Mom and Dad had us hunker down. We didn’t leave the bank we were in for well over a week. Stayed in the safe.” You pause. “If we had even threatened to step into that storm, we would’ve been obliterated. That’s the kind of storm Joel is. Unyielding, vengeful.” 

  “Your comparisons never fail to amaze me, kid,” Marlene commented. “You’re right on the nose. Watch out for Joel Miller.” 

He’s nothing if not ruthless. 

*** 

For the first couple of months you’re forced to travel across the country with Joel, you hate him. You hate how dismissive he is of you and you hate how he continues to act like dragging Ellie to the Fireflies who will then make the cure is the worst inconvenience he can possibly experience. 

You hate him. You hate him so much because he seems to be able to see right through you. No one has done that since-

Not since him. 

Ellie knows who he is. Joel doesn’t. He doesn’t ask why you sometimes wake up with a cry bubbling in the back of your throat, or why your hands always subconsciously drift toward your ring finger when there’s nothing there. 

He also doesn’t ask why your hand is almost always lingering on your stomach when he sees you through the cracks in the doors of the rooms you and Ellie sleep in. 

He doesn’t ask. 

So you don’t tell. 

*** 

You remember the first time he ever saved you from a clicker on your way through Pittsburgh with Joel, Henry, Ellie and Sam. It’s another one of those instances where you can recall things most other people can't: the details people cannot be bothered to remember. 

The smell of the tunnel. Damp. Dark. The smell of infected wafting through your nose, a familiar smell now just like the burnt bodies you so often found permeating the air in the QZ. 

The click of the shotgun. The desperate shout of Joel’s voice as he tackled that creature to the ground before firing once, twice, three times into its face while you struggled to regain your breath. 

The way that, afterward, he’d tossed the gun into Ellie’s arms to take your own into his hands and survey your skin for bites. 

  “You good, darlin’?” He’d asked, and your brain short-circuited because this was not the same man who'd spent the last several weeks showing you and your sister nothing but utter disdain and contempt. 

  “Yeah, yeah... I’m good.” You murmur. “Thanks Joel.” 

The most memorable part of that particular day - aside from the sunlight and the way it reflected just right against the grey and white of Joel’s hair and his eyes - was the way you had learned that, underneath the rough exterior, he had the same bleeding heart you did. 

*** 

Jackson is nice. It’s clearly the beginnings of what’s meant to become a larger, thriving civilization somewhere down the line, but it’s the first place you’ve been in the last twenty years that feels calm. 

Joel’s entire demeanor changes upon arrival, and it’s not until the gates open that you realize why: The man who steps through - and is clearly one of the few in charge - bears a remarkable resemblance to him. 

You and Ellie later find out that it’s Tommy. His younger brother. 

The details of that newly made memory are astonishingly clear: The curve of Joel’s smile, the feeling of the sunlight, the laughter that echoes as the three of you are led inside. 

For once in the last two decades, you have finally met someone who doesn’t have malicious intent. 

  “So who’s the older girl, Joel?” 

  “Kid’s sister,” Joel replied curtly. “That’s it.” 

Tommy clucked his tongue and shook his head as they entered the water plant. “I know you better then that,” He argued. “Way you look at her? Not just her sister. You’ll figure it out sooner than later even though that thick skull of yours.” 

The plant is attacked by the bandits who have been trying to infiltrate the compound for the last couple of months. Your illusion of peace is shattered as you again are forced to take, take, take, until there’s nothing left but bodies to deal with. 

That’s when you find out Ellie is gone. You find out Ellie is gone and for the first time in quite a while, you are properly afraid. 

And fear fuels you. Just like anger. 

Joel knows anger, but he doesn’t know your anger until he has the gall to tell your little sister she doesn’t know what loss is. It’s unfortunate you manage to hear the entire conversation through the bedroom door while staking out the house to ensure you’re in the clear. 

She’d run away from Jackson. Why, you don’t know, but you had been more panic then anything else because it was the first time Ellie had ever attempted to do something like that. 

You really just wanted to know her reasoning. 

  “What do you want from me?!” Joel snaps, harsh and sharp, as he storms deeper into the room. 

  “Admit that you wanted to get rid of me the whole time! Admit that my sister has been nothing but an inconvenience to you and you’ve felt burdened by us both!” 

You can’t see Joel’s face. You can’t see his face, but you see the way his body reacts to that statement. He’s trying really hard to keep himself under control. It’s admirable. 

They argue for what feels like years. Ellie calls him out, again and again, only to be stonewalled by Joel’s incessant need to keep everyone at arms length and provide as little information about himself and his feelings as possible. 

What causes you to storm into the room is the statement that makes the whole world grind to a stop. 

  “I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel... but I have lost people too.” 

  “You have no idea what loss is.” 

Ellie’s entire aspect shifts into something akin to both horror and shock as you storm into the room, fury radiating from your features, to only then whip Joel Miller around and slap him in the face. 

Your handprint burns against his cheek as he stares at you slack jawed, raising his own hand to cradle him jaw. Joel’s seen you do a lot of things. He’s seen you kill, and he’s seen you comfort, but he’s never bore witness to the heart of the storm itself. 

He immediately regrets provoking the argument now. 

  “El,” You say quietly, fury dripping from your words as you grip his shirt with tight fingers. “Go downstairs and join Tommy. Now.”

Ellie doesn’t argue. She never has because she knows better. With a curt nod, your little sister evacuates the room like a flood has just fallen upon it to leave you - the gentle storm versus the vengeful one - alone with Joel. 

  “Sunshine-” 

  “Don’t.” You snarl. “Don’t you dare. You don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to telling her she doesn’t know what loss is, you sanctimonious egotistical-” Your hands pound against his chest, once, twice, three times. Every hit makes you just a little more tired. “We all know what loss is, Joel! You’re not the only one who’s had to deal with the funerals!” 

Funerals. 

Huh. 

Snatching your hands with his own, Joel’s response is quiet and extremely unnerving as he murmurs, “We didn’t have funerals. We just burned them.” 

You don’t have time to reply. There’s people in the house, and you’re left to slip back into your mask as you remove your gun from its holster and flick the safety off. 

You don’t spare Joel a second glance. 

*** 

It’s another dead end. Another dead end full of questions and no answers that leave you asking more that no one seems to be able to give you. There might be nothing here but bodies and unanswered questions, but it does give you one thing that makes it memorable. 

The way that Ellie has smiled more now than she has since your parents and Riley died. You don’t try to intervene, to make yourself apart of what are undoubtedly her memories to carry, so you watch. 

It’s enough. 

It’s pretty straight forward into the University - nothing, nothing, and more nothing - until you’re ambushed by another group that has you and Joel fighting hand to hand for the first time in a while. 

You’ve only just managed to incapacitate yours when a resounding crash sounds from outside, and you just barely see the telltale salt-and-pepper hair go careening over the edge of the balcony. 

Seeing Joel like that.. That’s the second time you’ve known the same fear in such a short amount of time: Fear of loss. 

There’s me, the fool with the slow heart who dared to think I could love someone else again. 

***

The storms feels like it’s dwindling now. Like it’s simply the kind you get in the early hours of the morning in December, where the clouds are thick and gray and cover the entire sky as snow slowly falls to stick upon the chilled earth. 

Joel Miller has been this unyielding, fierce storm that threatens to tear everything apart from the moment you met him in Boston. He’s cold. Calculating. Sharp. You’ve seen what he’s capable of - and reacted quite violently the first time, you hadn’t realized the human body held that much blood - and have experienced the ramifications of what such things can do. 

The nightmares, the abrasiveness, the need to push everyone away because it’s simply easier than allowing yourself to love something that death can touch. 

You’ve always known Joel to be a storm, but since Ellie - and you, though you just don’t know it yet - have wormed into his heart, the storm has dwindled. It’s gentler. Softer. More willing to listen to reason, to fight for something other then himself. 

The rough exterior that turns so many people away is slowly giving to show who’s under the surface. 

You were almost positive that your heart was going to give out when you watched Joel fall from Ellie’s horse. You’d barely been able to do anything about the wound he’d obtained from the rebar at the university, using what meager means of medical supplies you had in your saddlebags to pack and dress it so the bleeding stopped. 

Ellie had watched you from the top of Callus as you carried him to the horse and slowly eased him into her arms. 

  “Do you think he’s gonna make it?” She asked you later, long after you’d lost sight of the school over your shoulder. 

  “I hope so, El.” You reply quietly. “I don’t know what we’ll do if he doesn’t.” It’s half a truth with a confession hidden in between of your true feelings toward the matter. You’d spent so much time watching Joel - learning about the inner workings of a man your heart aches to know, to heal, to love - that you weren’t sure what you’d do if his steady, sure presence wasn’t around anymore. 

The three of you have made your home inside a garage in an abandoned neighborhood when the snowfall hits. Ellie volunteers to take care of the horses while you situate yourself and Joel into a crude attempt of a sleeping situation inside, pushing two of the remaining mattresses together and scrounging up blankets for you to shield yourselves from the cold.

You don’t like how pale he is. His wound isn’t infected, which is good, but his heartbeat is too weak and you can’t help yourself from feeling somewhat responsible. 

  “Joel Miller,” You whisper, long after Ellie is gone and it’s just the sound of uneven breathing and the pounding of your heart from where you lay curled around him on the pair of mattresses. “You’ve gone and gotten yourself into my blood stream. You’re not allowed to give up on me. On us. Do you understand?” 

Joel doesn’t answer. Of course he doesn’t answer. You don’t expect him to, but part of you wishes he’d open those dark brown eyes and gaze up at you with all the longing and desperation you’ve felt towards him since... since. 

The bitter cold that settles in your bones is an alarming reminder that you need to curl around Joel to preserve body heat. Last thing you need is him dying of hyperthermia. 

  “Don’t leave us,” You whisper again, curling your fingers into his hair as you tuck your body around his own and press your chin against the top of his head. “Don’t leave us.” 

We can’t take another funeral. 

*** 

The first time Joel wakes up is the day before Ellie leaves for another hunting trip. She’s scrounged up a meager amount of supplies through the houses in the neighborhood, just enough for you to get by, but you can’t help but feel the weight of the guilt settling in your stomach when you hear Ellie’s stomach growl halfway through the night. 

It’s not like you’re sleeping anyway. 

Joel’s sudden state of awareness is brought upon by the fingers raking through his hair and the warmth that touches his skin from the body wrapped around him. It’s odd, foreign. After so many years of isolating himself from other people, he hadn’t realized how much he craved physical contact. 

And the burn that follows is enough to make him groan. 

  “Joel?” Immediately your hands are at his sides, Ellie’s face just above his head as his vision swims. The pain is muted. Numb. He’s barely feeling is because he’s far too distracted by your hands. “Can you hear me? I’m going to check your wound again. If you stay awake enough, I want you to eat.” 

Ellie has taken his head into her lap before he can protest. Joel is awake just enough to say your name, low and hoarse, before his vision swims with black spots and the last thing he can remember is the burn. 

He can remember the burn, and he can remember how you made him feel in the midst of it. Peaceful. Safe. 

Joel Miller has never known peaceful or safe. Not since her. Not since Sarah. 

And as he succumbs to sleep, he finds that he wants to know it more. 

***  

Ellie’s been gone for too long. You know she’s been gone for too long, and you haven’t heard from her on the walkies the two of you had found a couple of weeks before. 

She’s been gone too long. You need to go find her. 

That’s the second and final time Joel wakes up. 

You’re halfway through loading his shotgun when he finally comes to, wide eyed and alert as his hands scramble for purchase on the closest weapon to him. “Easy, Joel,” You chide gently. “It’s just me.” 

Something settles in him. He seems at ease with your answer. 

  “Where’s-” Joel grunts as he sits up, pressing a hand to his side as he does so. You ease the shotgun to the side and kneel down to his level to meet the worry in his gaze. “Where’s Ellie?” 

Your frown deepens. “She went out to hunt too long ago,” You reply. “I was just about to secure this place and then go look for her.” 

  “Why didn’t you?” 

You fidget nervously with your hands as your gaze drops into your lap.  “I didn’t want to leave you alone, Joel.” 

He wants to scold you. Joel wants to chastise you for such a foolish decision when your sister’s life is on the line, but he can’t find it in him to do so because your gaze is so genuine. He’s not used to that. 

Joel Miller is not used to real. 

Pressing a gentle thumb to the divot in your chin, you’re captivated by the way the condescension and hostility in his demeanor is gone as he slowly moves his fingers to cup the curve of your jaw. “Thank you,” He murmurs gratefully. “But now we need to go find Ellie.” A pause. “Are you ready to do what we need to do, if it gets bad?” 

He always asks you this. Right before he has to embrace the side of himself that scares you, that you’ve tried so hard to keep at bay, Joel warns you about it. 

  “Yeah. Yeah...” You pump the shotgun in response and press it against your hip. “Yeah, I am.” 

It’s uncanny how quickly you’ve learned how to slip into your masks. The mask of the gentle, compassionate woman that Joel had only just gotten to know disappears in the face of the violence he’s so accustomed to - shifting into something darker, more apathetic, more willing to do what needs to be done. 

Even for the sake of one life. 

You don’t even flinch when he starts torturing two of the men patrolling the neighborhood you’ve called home for the last few days. Not when the screaming starts. not when the blood pours. 

  “Now, the girl. Is she alive?” 

  “What girl? I don’t know no girl!” 

The poor idiot doesn’t start talking until Joel has driven his blade clear through his knee. According to his endless rambling, your kid sister has become the newest pet to someone named David. 

And that makes you see red. 

You don't blink twice when both bodies lay motionless on the ground. 

  “Hey Joel?” 

  “Yeah, sunshine.” 

  “When we find this David,” You drag your fingers across the expanse of his shoulders to rest them on the exposed skin of his neck. His pulse thrums steadily under your touch. “I’m going to be the one to put the bullet in his face.” 

***

The storm has died down to a newly fallen December snow. The temper has eased, and the anger has dissipated - only to be directed toward the people who are most deserving of it - into something that searches, that yearns, for something. 

Snow melts. Snow melts and reveals what lays beneath it. 

You’re just inside of the Salt Lake City limits when it happens. You’re the one who volunteered to take watch while Joel and Ellie slept. The three of you were nearly in the endgame now being so close to the Firefly hospital. Once your sister was taken there, the world would finally be saved. 

And you could finally settle. No more running, no more existing. 

Chewing absently on the inside of your cheek, you fiddle with the edge of your rifle from your lookout point over your camp. You’re almost too deep into your thoughts to hear him scream.

But he doesn’t just scream. Joel screams Sarah’s name, and everything becomes astonishingly clear as to why he has been the way he is. Ellie had told you about Tommy trying to slip Joel the last photo of him and his daughter before the outbreak. How he’d refused it. How he, to this day, remained adamant that his departed little girl would never be a topic of conversation. 

No one warns you about the loss of a child. 

  “Easy, Joel,” You warn, shouldering your rifle as you climb down from the tree to sit beside the bed. His shaking fingers are wrapped tightly around the hilt of his blade. “There’s just a couple of hours until the sun comes up. You thirsty?” 

Dark eyes flicker to the next bedroll. Ellie is still sleeping. 

  “No,” He replies gruffly. “But thanks.” 

There’s a long moment of companionable silence that passes as you sit beside him, finally feeling courageous enough to spill your heart at his feet, “For all those months when we started this, I hated you. I hated you because you clearly hated me-” 

  “First off,” Joel interjects sharply. “Never been a time in which I hated you. Don’t know what gave you that assumption.” 

  “So if it wasn’t hate, then what was it? I’m not an expert at reading Joel Miller,” You shrug. “At least not yet.” 

The sun is just beginning to creep over the edges of the three line in front of you. The sky above is shifting from the deep black to a soft, gentle blue that will shift into the golds and oranges of dawn. 

You’re running out of time. 

Joel swallows the knot in his throat as he contemplates his answer. Giving the real answer means being real and vulnerable. He’s not sure if he’s ready for that yet. 

He’s not sure if he’s ready for that but with the open, earnest way you’re looking at him? He’ll get there eventually. 

  “Sarah was my daughter,” Joel says quietly. He can’t look at you. If he looks at you while he says this he will come apart at the seams. “She died at the start of the epidemic. Longer that goes by, more I’m almost.. grateful.” The words are sour on his tongue. It sounds so wrong. “She was too good for a world like this one. Too pure. Any kind of innocence I had was gone a long time ago. I was made for this kind of life,” His eyes slowly shift to meet yours. You haven’t taken your gaze off of his face once. “You and Ellie weren’t.” 

You smile. “That’s sweet, Joel. Really. But you could not know-” 

  “I do know. I know because you have something that doesn’t exist anymore.’’

You tip your head to the side in confusion. “Which is?” 

  “Goodness. Compassion. You’re real,” Joel pauses, running his tongue along his teeth. “That’s why it looked like I hated you. I hated you because I was afraid of how real you are. How gentle you are.” 

  “Why would that be something you’d fear?” You ask softly. 

  “Because I don’t deserve that kind of thing, Sunshine. Goodness? Compassion? All the soft things that died with my little girl?” He shakes his head. “Those aren’t something you give to someone like me.” 

You’d noticed over the last couple of months that every time you touched Joel, he recoiled like he had been burned. You’d seen that before too. It was the look often accompanied by the quiet desire to seek more of something you’d been deprived of: The look of a touch starved man. 

It was why you’d been more deliberate in starting slow. Cheek touches, chin touches, gentle fingers raking through his hair to scrape across his scalp and kisses to bloodied knuckles on the nights things were bad. 

If he wanted real, if he wanted peace, you were more then willing to give it to him. 

  “I had a son,” You whisper. This is not something you are ready to divulge to Ellie. Not yet. “He was born around the same time she was, though she never knew it,” Something akin to realization flickers through his eyes before he’s opening his mouth to apologize, most likely, but you hush him with a raised hand as you continue. “He died before he ever turned one.” 

You didn’t want to continue. It was still too fresh. Too raw. He would’ve been fifteen soon. 

Joel took your hand into his own and spread your fingers apart, dragging the tips of his own fingers across the back of each of yours before lifting them to his lips to kiss all your fingertips. 

  “They have a word for someone who’s lost a spouse. What do you call someone who lost a child?” 

And there it is, that quiet understanding you share that makes you ache to pull back what remains of his walls and finally reveal the man who lay underneath. 

You hum thoughtfully as you then lean forward to just barely graze your lips against his cheek. 

That’s also the same time Ellie decides to wake up. She sees the way your silhouettes cast across the grass as the rays of early morning light emerge from over the trees. She sees the way Joel leans into you like he’s seeking something, and she sees the way scarlet dusts your cheeks when you finally pull away. 

Hm.

Seems like you’ve finally found what you’re looking for. 

*** 

Everything finally feels right. You’ve finally started down a path that ends with Joel realizing that you love him, with Joel realizing that he’s deserving, and with you hopefully realizing that he’s been reciprocating for quite some time. 

The three of you are at the hospital in Salt Lake after being caught in the flood. You’re the one who took the most damage. Battered and bruised, Joel is left to watch helplessly from your bedside as you sleep. He’d only just woken up himself in the same state. 

Marlene comes in much, much later to tell you what’s going on with Ellie. What the real cure is, what it will do to her. 

And suddenly, again, everything comes screeching to a halt. 

This is the story of how, despite everything between you and Joel going right, everything begins to go wrong and you’re left with a decision that will inevitably cost you your sister. 

All of those lives, for the sake of one.... is it worth it? 

Haven’t I given enough? 

part two??? :D 

[lovepersevering13]

Now could you elaborate on Michael's autism

Alright it’s Michael’s turn!

I want to preface this part the same as before: I’m not a psychiatrist, this isn’t how autism is experienced by everyone and let me know if anything is incorrect :) oh also I’m a little bit more educated on how Autism is shown in girls so this one is a bit of a mess.

Ok so for Michael I kinda had to think for a bit about some like concrete evidence because I didn’t have anything annotated for him like Tori but I think I’ve come up with a pretty compelling argument (also I thought I’d let you know that as I was doing this I started to realise Michael may have ADHD but I don’t really go into that too much).

Firstly:

Alice Oseman herself supports this headcanon so…. Anhahahahajaja omg I can’t explain how happy this makes me! Anyway, let’s get into what I found in Solitaire!

1. Masking

- “Do you get angry a lot?” I say.

“I’m always angry,” he says.” Solitaire, Page 213

Ok we know Michael generally is a very upbeat, positive person on the outside but as we get to know him we learn he’s only barely happier than Tori. When I think about this covering up of his anger with overly positive emotions it is clear to that he is masking (Suppressing Autistic traits). Pessimism is a common m trait of Autism and the way I see it, Michael is overcompensating for this by acting super happy all the time to cover it up.

2. Deficit in social understanding

- “Do you remember when he tried to get everyone to do a flash mob for the Year 11 prank?” says Nick. “And in the end he just did it by himself on the lunch tables?” Nick Nelson, Solitaire, Page 39.

This quote when Nick and Charlie are talking about Michael shows and extreme lack of care about social consequences.

- “Michael Holden has swooped into the restaurant.” Solitaire, page 46

Ok so this quote and the entire scene on pages 46/47 where Michael shows up unannounced because he wants to ask Tori something displays extreme impulsivity and impulsivity is a common Autistic trait. He also didn’t care about the lack of social etiquette displayed by crashing a hangout he wasn’t invited to.

- “Michael is helping himself to our leftover starters” Solitaire, Page 48

Again, lack of social awareness because you aren’t really supposed to crash someone else’s dinner and just start eating their food.

- “He races inside and, without bothering to let me leave or shut the door, he lifts the toilet seat and starts to pee.” Solitaire, (I forgot the page)

LACK OF SOCIAL ETTIQUITE. DUDE.

- “He’s the strangest person I’ve ever met.” Solitaire, Page 62

- “I know Nick and I said he’s weird - and he is weird -“ Charlie Spring, Solitaire, Page 177

- “He looks sort of out of place everywhere.” Solitaire, (I lost the page)

People with Autism are often described as being “strange,” “weird,” or “peculiar,” because they are different from their peers which can make them stand out and struggle to fit in.

- “I, er, didn’t get on too well with the people there. Not the teachers, not the students…” Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 148

Because of the fact that people with Autism struggle with social understanding it can be very difficult to make friends and get along with other people.

- “I’ve never been good enough,” he says. “I get so stressed out, I don’t make friends - God, I can’t make friends.” His eyes glaze over. “Sometimes I just wish I were a normal human being. But I can’t. I’m not. No matter how hard I try.” Michael Holden, Solitiare, Page 376

Yeah, this quote hurts my heart. So many people with Autism feel as though they don’t fit in and that they aren’t normal. When you don’t have a diagnosis it can be especially difficult because you don’t know why. You know there’s something different about you, you know other people are doing and feeling things you aren’t and you know you’re doing and feeling things other people aren’t, but you don’t know why. It can be super isolating.

3. Challenging Authority Figures

- “…having that argument with Mr Yates during his mock exams!” Either Nick or Charlie, Solitaire, Page 40

- “I swore at Kent.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 269

It’s very common for people with Autism to challenge authority figures. Generally this is because they often naturally assume equanimity and don’t understand why some people should get more respect then others if they aren’t seemingly deserving of it. This stems from having a heightened sense of justice and empathy.

4. Autism and Sexualtiy

- “I guess you could say I’m not too fussy about gender.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, (I forgot the page)

We know Michael’s canonically Pan and as we’ve previously discussed (read Tori’s part for more info) Autism and the LGBTQ+ community are heavily intertwined. I tried to look into Autism’s correlation to Pansexuality but couldn’t find anything specific.

I also wanted to add in a little fact about how Neurodivergent people tend to gravitate towards eachother and queer people tend to do the same so Michael and Tori makes a lot of sense.

5. Special Interests/HyperFixations

Ok so, Michael gets pretty into Solitiare. Right from the start he’s obsessed. Taking photos of the posts, insisting they go to the meet up. I’d probably say it’s a hyperfixation.

And DISNEY. Holy heck Michael loves Disney… and if you haven’t caught on already, yeah imma say it’s a special interest.

- “He gasps and grabs a third DVD, leaps across the room to the flat-screen and switches it on. “We’re watching beauty and the beast,” he says.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 115

I mean look at how excited he gets over ‘Beauty and the Beast’.

6. School

- “Seriously. I haven’t gotten above a C grade in any subject since Year 8.”

“It seems almost impossible for someone like Michael to be unintelligent. People like Michael - people who get stuff done - they’re always smart. Always.” Solitaire, Page 188

- “When it comes to exams… I generally don’t write what they want me to write. I’m not very good at, well, sorting out all the stuff in my head.“

“I just don’t know what the examiners want to hear. I don’t know whether I just forget things, or maybe I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain it. I just don’t know.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 118

- “Because I hate school!” This is quite loud. He starts to shake his head.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, (I forgot the page)

A lot of people with Autism struggle with school and like Tori points out, it’s not because they’re not smart, Michael is smart. It’s just that the education system isn’t fitted to benefit Neurodivergent children. So many things affect Autism in schools. The dreadful sensory environment, lack of control over what they can and can’t do and the difficult social pressures.

7. Emotional dysregulation

- “He clenches his fist and he snarls. He actually snarls at me.

“Maybe you are a manically depressed psychopath.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, Page 163

Emotional Dysregulation is the inability to control the intensity and expression of emotions. This is common in people with Autism and can result in overly intense emotions and lashing out. I think this is something that heavily impacts both Tori and Michael and results in a lot of their arguments. The aforementioned quote is just one example of how quickly and dramatically their arguments blow up due to this.

- “His face contorts into a kind of scrunched-up snarl, his fists curl, his skin drains of colour, and he storms past the man and tramps over to the benches. He reaches a row of lockers and looks into them, blankly, chest visibly expanding and contracting. With an almost terrifying malice, he throws a crazed punch at the lockers, wailing a subdued howl of rage. Turning, he hurls a kick at a pile of racing helmets, scattering them about the floor. He clutches his hair, as if trying to pull it out.” Solitaire, Page 211

Oh there is just so much to cover here. So this is a prime example of an Autistic meltdown. Autistic meltdowns can be caused by overwhelming emotions (In this situation that is Michael loosing his race) and result in an outburst which can include crying, screaming (“howl of rage”), aggression (punching the lockers and kicking the helmets) and self injurious behaviours (Pulling his hair). It’s probably worth mentioning that a few of the outbursts he has towards teachers that I mentioned earlier are probably also meltdowns.

8. Stimming

- “Michael starts whistling.” Solitaire, page 198

Whistling is a form of stimming, this particular quote is from when they are in Truham looking for Charlie, considering Michael’s disdain for Truham I can imagine it was a slightly stressful environment to be back in which would validly result in a need for stimming. I actually couldn’t find any other examples of stimming except possibly the hair pulling that was mentioned in the last quote.

9. Pattern Recognition

So pattern recognition is the autistic brains increased ability to recognise patterns and in Solitaire Michael is the first person to put together the fact that all of Solitaire’s pranks were related to Tori. I really can’t be bothered to find the quote where they talk about those

10. Safe foods

I think that Tea is probably a safe food for Michael because he is often mentioned to have a mug of Tea in his hands. (But I’m not British so maybe this is like normal? How much tea do British people actually drink?)

1. Miscellaneous Quotes

- Since when did you acquire a body temperature” Solitaire, page 112

I know it’s probably supposed to be related to figure skating but struggling with temperature regulation is very common amongst people with Autism.

- “Most of the time at school I can’t even decide what pen to use.” Michael Holden, Solitaire, page 149

Indecisiveness is very common amoungst people with Autism

Alright that’s a wrap on Michael Holden. I’m thinking of doing a conjoined part for Charlie and Oliver if anyone would be interested in reading that :)

Some of the resources I used:

https://livingautism.com/decision-making-problems-adults-asd/

Thermal Perceptual Thresholds are typical in Autism Spectrum Disorder but ...

https://sparkforautism.org/discover_article/managing-emotions/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7430467/

https://neuroclastic.com/autism-and-responding-to-authority/?amp