#I’ve had to learn so much and confront so much in the last six months. I have toooons to process. Glad I have the time to do it.

[laurelindorenan]

hello!!!

[dreamerfms]

[ … ] ❀ you’re not from around here , are you? i figured because you totally just missed { cassius alder } walking by. don’t tell me you don’t know who { he/himm } is ? they kind of look like { callum turner } and i could be wrong but i think that they might be { thirty-three } years old right now. they’ve been living in palmview for the last { six months }. and i don’t know if anyone has ever told them this before but they kind of remind me of { patrick verona } from { 10 things i hate about you }. if you stick around the town long enough you might catch them in action working at { - } as a { construction worker }. you see this town isn’t really that big of a place, some folks like to call them the { broken compass } of palmview! they took a liking to the name too after a while, go figure. oh crap, they must have heard me yapping. they’re coming this way. i got to warn you though, rumor has it they can pretty { reactive } at times. i wouldn’t take it too seriously though, from the times i’ve spoken to them they seemed pretty { protective } to me. we see each other all the time since they live in that { 2 } apartment beside me over in { mango bay }. i better leave you to it.

full name : cassius alder birthplace : chicago, illinois date of birth : november 15th, 1998 parentage : lennox alder, catriona young sibling(s) : younger sister occupation : construction worker relationship status : single gender identity : cis male ( he/him ) sexual orientation : pansexual faceclaim : callum turner

BACKGROUND

TRIGGER WARNINGS : ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUGS AND SUICIDE, please avoid reading if this triggers you in anyway <3

cassius grew up in the gritty neighborhoods of southside chicago, where survival was a daily struggle. his parents never married, and by the time he was old enough to remember, they’d already split. he had one sister, three years younger, and despite the chaos surrounding them, cassius managed to stay out of trouble— at least for a while. he lived with his mother until he was fifteen, but when she moved in with a new boyfriend, everything changed. cassius never got along with the guy, and the feeling was mutual. up until that point, cassius had been a good kid— smart, driven, with a future that seemed promising. but when he moved in with his father, things took a turn. his father, a well-known drug dealer with a violent reputation, quickly pulled cassius into his world. what started as running errands for his father — driving him to collect debts — soon escalated. cassius found himself selling weed, cocaine, and sometimes harder drugs. the money was fast, but so were the consequences. his grades dropped, and with it, any hope for a future outside of the streets. what had once seemed like a promising path now felt more like a trap. a few weeks before his high school graduation, cassius discovered bruises on his younger sister. it didn’t take long to realize her stepfather was the cause. filled with rage, cassius confronted the man. the situation ended with him arrested for aggravated battery, and he was sentenced to three years in prison. this was just the first of many run-ins with the law. this stint in prison would prove difficult for cassius. whilst he kept mainly to himself, his fathers name brought as much unwanted attention as it did useful connections. during this stint, his cellmate would also take his own life. cassius would be the one to find him. the image and feeling like he could have done more has haunted him terribly ever since. after prison, cassius had little to rely on. no diploma, no skills, and nothing but his father’s business to fall back on. he went back to the game, this time handling bigger operations. but at 25, he was arrested again, this time for possession of a class a drug— something he’d been holding for his father. his time in prison gave him a chance to reflect. he used it to build skills, learn a trade and plan for a way out. after his release, he got a job in construction, but took on side gigs as a getaway driver to make extra cash. eventually, he realized he didn’t want to be part of that life anymore, because it had never been his choice in the first place. at thirty-two, cassius thought he was done with the past. but life had other plans. he got caught up in a bar fight, blamed for it because of his criminal record, and landed back in jail for a couple of months. this was the final straw. he was determined to change, to get out for good. now, approaching his thirty-fourth birthday, cassius has relocated to palmview, florida, to live with his cousin and make a fresh start. palmview isn’t unfamiliar to him— he had spent several summers there as a kid, visiting family to escape the chaos of home. it was a peaceful place, far from the streets he’d known. now, it feels like the opportunity he’s been waiting for. a place that offers a chance to rebuild, but cassius knows that the shadows of his past will follow him no matter where he goes. still, he’s determined to leave that life behind. for the first time in years, he has hope that this time, he can make it work.

headcannons

during his stints in prison he developed a love of reading, and discovered he's rather talented artistic-wise, often finds himself sketching to pass time and quieten his mind.

cassius is an extremely skilled driver.

despite the trouble being his fathers son has caused him, the two are still extremely close. cassius loves his dad, but knows for his own sake distance is necessary. being around the other makes it too easy to slip back into old habits.

cassius doesn't speak to his mother at all, but he hopes one day she'll see sense and leave her boyfriend. his door is always open to her.

it takes a lot for him to be loyal to someone, but once he is nothing will break it. if he has your back, he'll have it forever.

wanted connections

his sister — I’ll eventually get around to putting this as a wc on the main. but this is by far the most important relationship in his life, and her thriving makes everything he's gone through worth it to him. his cousin — they're his best friend, the one person that really knows him. bonded since childhood, they're the main reason he visited palmview for so many summers in a row. reoccurring fling — so far there is nothing more to it than two people looking for temporary distraction. due to some of the things he's seen in prison, cassius can often suffer from night terrors, this person could potentially be aware of this. past summer fling — a summer romance that lasted the span of his summertime visits, this person would have had to have been in palmview for at least twenty years and be of a similar age to him. ex — we'd have to figure out the when and how, as it would not have been in palmview, but i would love someone who loved him even when he was going down a wrong path, and who he genuinely tried to be better for even though he wasn't capable of following through at the time.

anything and everything <3

c

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 17 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad + chaps updated till 27

What the–, Matt thought as he was currently looking at his Instagram feed. He had decided to browse through Instagram incognito with his second account, but nothing had prepared him for what he was looking at.

Am I being crazy or– there's no way. Matt was kind of starting to panic as he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He dared glance at Nick and Chris who hadn't noticed his confused state yet. Should he ask them for help? Should he mention his issue? Eh, what can I do alone… I need some objectivity.

“Hey guys…” Matt called for his brothers who were sitting on one of the beds.

“Yeah?” Chris replied without looking up.

“Can I talk about something?”

Feeling that it was somewhat important, Nick nudged Chris to put down his phone so that they could give their full attention to Matt.

“What’s going on? Are you ok?” Nick asked as he was worried with the tone Matt used.

“Hmm, nothing major but I needed to tell you about someone.”

“Okay…” Nick and Chris said in sync.

“So– I’ve been talking to this girl for like six or seven months I guess like since spring I’d say and…”

Now knowing where the conversation could go, neither Chris nor Nick was going to interrupt Matt as it was now or never.

“She might know us?” Matt internally cringed as he wasn’t even sure of what he was saying.

“What do you mean?” Nick demanded as he wanted clarification. “Have you said anything about yourself?”

“No but why are we only learning about this girl now?” Chris eventually interrupted as he felt confused.

“Well no, like– she knows my name is Matt but that’s all! It’s just– wait lemme explain, I’ll try to make sense.” Matt was starting to panic at the idea that his brothers didn’t approve of what he was going to tell them. “Ok so this girl, she’s called Lily. She randomly started texting me and at first I was weary obviously but then I realised we had quite some common ground like regarding cartoons and games such as Pokemon or Fortnite. I mean, we even played together once. But unrelated I guess, I don’t know…”

“Take your time bro, we ain’t going nowhere.” Chris reassured as he felt Matt stressing.

“Yeah, hmm… and it’s just– I started following her on Instagram with my other account you know and she’s really into photography so she posts landscapes and stuff, but her most recent posts looked too familiar and I just need you to confirm if I’m getting crazy or nah.”

As Matt had kind of finished rambling, he gave his phone open on Lily’s latest post. Nick took it and scrolled through the other posts below. Indeed, Nick and Chris felt a sense of familiarity as the photos were very much looking like the last three cities they’ve travelled to.

“Maybe she’s travelling through Florida, doesn’t mean it’s for us.” Chris tried to reason.

“Look at her tagged posts…” Matt quietly said.

Nick didn’t even have time to leave the post they were on that he let out a gasp.

“Wait– I know her.”

“WHAT?” Chris and Matt both exclaimed.

“Like I don’t know her but I know her account”, Nick started explaining as he tapped on a post of the sunset he had looked at before. “I was literally on it two days ago. She’s friends with someone who went on stage with us.”

“Oh... Oh…” They all realised together that Nick was basically confirming what Matt had been assuming.

To be absolutely certain, Nick did go see her tagged posts and indeed saw Alex’s posts from Orlando. This was now sure, Matt had met Lily and he’d had no idea although they had seen each other probably a couple of times.

“No yeah and I recognise her from our last three shows, I think?” Chris wondered out loud. “So yep bro, she does know us and we actually met her. Got a café and shit if I remember well.”

Matt didn’t know how to react. Not only Lily was a fan of him and his brothers, but he had met her in real life. How was he even supposed to react? Text her to confront her? Matt was completely lost at the moment, but only one thought was in his head and he spoke before thinking it through:

“Would it be crazy to say I wanna see her again?”

What, Matt realised what he had just said. What am I thinking? Fuck.

“Erm… what do you mean?” Nick softly asked as he could sense Matt’s stress increasing.

“Sorry, stupid idea. I don’t even know what I’m saying…” Matt replied as he was now embarrassed. “Just like– I literally met a great online friend but none of us was aware and, I don’t know… it’s weird because she might be sceptical at knowing that I am Matt, the Matt she’s been texting is the same as the Matt she’s a fan of.”

“Well, it makes sense to think like that.” Chris agreed with his brother. “But you can’t know until you guys actually talk about your real identities. Damn, it’s giving a spy movie.”

“Chris, stop.” Nick lightly punched his arm to prevent him from joking about it but when he saw that Matt actually laughed at it, he stopped tormenting Chris.

After a small silence, Matt finally gathered the courage to ask what the three of them had now been pondering about.

“Would it be weird to invite her to our last show?”

“Wow, you wanna meet her with the fam there?” Chris chuckled as he then continued with a more serious tone. “No problem with me to be honest, but how do you even want to bring this up with her?”

“Chris is right,” Nick agreed. “Are you gonna text her and reveal yourself out of nowhere?

“No, of course not.” Matt had rejected that idea from the beginning. “I kinda know how to do it I guess, but I just want your approval before doing anything.”

“Fine by me if you know how to get her there”, Chris shrugged.

“Nick?” Matt faced his brother, hoping to get a positive reaction.

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to properly meet her. And if it doesn’t work out, we’ll take care of it so don’t worry.” Nick was actually giving his brother the green light to start his plan. “If I’m not mistaken about who she is, I remember her being really nice so it should be fine.”

“Yeah, she is really kind. I always thought you'd like her, so I hope you will.”

To finish reassuring Matt that everything was alright, Nick and Chris both pulled him into a group hug before letting him go text the now infamous girl.

Lily

Hey, it’s been a while

How are you?

MATT

Heyy

Yeah sorry i’ve been mia

I’m great tho, i’ve been travelling a bit w alex so it’s really fun

You?

It’s ok don’t worry, I was busy as well with my brothers

But I’m good too :)

And yeah i saw your pics, they look really nice

Thanks!

Where were you if I can ask?

Ofc ye

We went to atlanta then florida where we still are

Oh sweet

Celebrating anything special or just a well deserved break?

Hmm both I’d say

We just went to see some artists ig

But it was cool to move around for a bit

Ok matt you can do it

Unsent

Sounds cool indeed

Which singers are on tour rn?

Oh it wasn’t a concert

It was some youtubers

Like doing a tour to meet fans, play games and shit

Shit indeed

Unsent

This is the moment

Unsent

Wait it kinda rings a bell

Is it like those triplets?

Omg yes

The sturniolo triplets

How’d you know?? You watched them too?

Well i think my cousin was supposed to see them for their last show

Talked to me about it for weeks

That’s awesome!!

Wait, was? :(

She can’t go anymore yeah

That's a bummer

I hope she'll get another occasion if they ever do another tour somewhere later

She probably will

🤞🤞

Hey hmm

Might be weird to ask idk but would you wanna go?

I promise i don't wanna sound creepy

Oh-

Damn, wasn’t expecting that

Does she only have one ticket?

She has two

Ig you went w alex, right? So that’s why i’m offering

Would be free btw

She’s not even expecting resale anymore because the show is very soon i think

Yeah in like 2 days lmao

I’m tempted bro fr

I swear i’m not trying to scam you

You’re still in florida right? So not that far away depending your current city

And i can even send you my cousin’s number if you want to talk with her

The fuck are you doing, Matt thought as he felt like he sounded desperate and didn’t know how to proceed. How would he even get someone who doesn’t exist to text Lily? As he sighed, Matt brought Nick’s attention to him.

“What’s wrong? Is she reacting negatively to whatever you’re offering?”

“I guess she’s just being careful but…” Matt thought about how he could solve his situation. “What would you do for your brother in need?”

“Helping my favourite brother? Depends but almost anything if the reward is nice enough,” Nick replied with a small laugh.

“Hey!” Chris reacted to Nick’s mention of Matt being his favourite brother.

“You know I’m kidding, my favourite is Justin obviously.”

“So yeah Nick…” Matt tried to word his request. “How would you feel about texting Lily to pretend to be my cousin who has tickets for our last show?”

Both Nick and Chris silently looked at Matt to process what was his plan. As Nick asked for clarification, Matt explained the idea he had and what he needed from Nick.

“Honestly, it’s not that bad like–” Chris was supporting Matt for what he wanted to do. “If I were in her shoes I would be the same obviously, but it seems legit.”

“Well, it is.” Matt confirmed. “We can actually give out a couple of tickets to people even if the show is sold out, just gotta ask Laura to edit them.”

“True,” Nick agreed. “Count me in, I’m actually curious to get to know your little friend outside of the ‘Meet & Greet’ atmosphere.”

With a sigh of relief, Matt was prepared to send Lily’s number to Nick and vice versa when he saw that she had replied.

Lily

I’ll trust you dw

When would you be able to send them?

“Ok slight change of plans”, Matt quickly said as he looked up from his phone. “Nick, thanks but I won’t need you for the cousin persona. A for the effort though. And questions: first, how quick can Laura make me two tickets for backstage? Second, how mad would she be that it’s fucking last minute for a random girl?”

“If we explain the whole thing to her she might not be that mad?” Chris tried to rationalise as nothing looked wrong in his opinion. “Nick can ask her for the tickets and I explain to the parents that we’ll have two guests after the show with us.”

Nick nodded in agreement with his youngest brother then took his phone to text their manager Laura and see if she would come meet them to talk. Matt felt so supported at the moment that he couldn’t help the soft look in his eyes. He was capable of looking at his brothers with such pure love, especially when they were doing the most basic things for him.

“Thank you both, I would never do anything without you by my side.”

Comforting Matt for the second time tonight, Chris and Nick side hugged him to show their appreciation as Nick announced that Laura was coming over to their room.

Half an hour later, Laura had agreed to the triplets’ request and told them that she could get the tickets for the next day first thing in the morning, which Matt passed on to Lily. She thanked him for at least five minutes as she couldn’t believe her luck. It’s not everyday that the friend you’ve been texting for seven months coincidentally has a cousin who can miraculously give you tickets to your favourite YouTubers’ tour – it's also not everyday that said friend is actually one of those YouTubers.

Now that Laura was aware of the situation and that his parents didn’t mind the additional guests – they were actually excited about meeting a new friend of their son’s, Matt felt more relaxed and confident about how next Sunday would happen: he would meet fans, take pictures with them, do the show as usual, take other pictures, do the ‘normal’ backstage then finally meet Lily. He could do it. He had met her already. This was simply a more proper meeting, right? I can do it, I did a lot already to make it happen so I can’t chicken out now.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Karate Kid Part II (1986)

The Karate Kid Part II has just enough scenes to make it a good movie but it’s a disappointment and a major step down from the original film. Unless the latter chapters turn out to be amazing, this is the kind of sequel that belongs in a box set. You would never go out of your way to add it to your shelf but if you just happened to obtain it, you're not sorry.

Six months after the events of the first film, Daniel (Ralph Macchio) and Ali have broken up, and the karate champ is living with Miyagi (Noriyuki “Pat” Morita) while his mother works in Fresno. When Miyagi learns his father is dying, he and Daniel travel to Okinawa Island. There, Miyagi is forced to confront Yukie (Nobu McCarthy) the woman he loved but was forced to leave behind, and his vengeful old rival, Sato (Danny Kamekona).

So much of what made the 1984 film succesful was the budding romance between Daniel and Ali. To see their relationship tossed away in the first scenes of this sequel is frustrating. It doesn’t feel like an organic development at all, more of a “the actress didn’t want to come back again” hole Robert Mark Kamen had to write himself out of. The void does give Daniel the opportunity to get close to a Japanese girl named Kumiko (Tamlyn Tomita) - a relationship that parallels the one between Miyagi and Yukie - but it feels rushed. By the time they’re announcing their love for each other, you want to tell them to slow down and quit exaggerating. I mean what’s Daniel going to do? Move to Japan so they can be together?

The best scenes in Part II center around Miyagi and Daniel. Their relationship has evolved since we last saw them. Daniel trusts his mentor - though not completely, as the man is full of wisdom but devilish tricks as well and sometimes, his advice doesn’t seem to make sense. Their time together means they’ve moved on to a point where both can learn from each other. As a pair, the actors are so good and it’s a delight to see Morita in this role again. He’s a great actor, and Miyagi is a great character.

But you probably didn’t come to see a Karate Kid movie for the tender stuff. You want to know about the bad guys and the action. On the upside, this film successfully raises the stakes. Daniel isn’t fighting in a tournament where three hits means victory. He’s going up against Sato’s nephew, Chozen (Yuji Okumoto), a vicious bully who delights in abusing anyone who’s afraid of his uncle - which is basically everyone. You love to hate him (maybe not quite as much as John Kreese or Johnny, who make brief appearances at the beginning of the film) but he also has the worst scene in the entire film and it comes right at the end, single-handedly dropping this movie down at least a half star, maybe even more.

Consistently, The Karate Kid Part II is almost there but not quite. A lot of it feels a little too convenient, or manufactured. As you’re about to write it off, it’ll have a great scene between Daniel and Kumiko, or between Daniel and Miyagi, an unexpected moment of depth, or a pleasant snapshot of Japanese culture. I appreciate the way it shows that anyone - regardless of where they came from or studied - can abuse martial arts, and instead suggests that it’s those with truly “empty hands” who will learn to appreciate the strength and wisdom it provides… but I also question the reason why this movie was made.

Overall, I’ve decided to give The Karate Kid Part II a mild recommendation. It has some laughs and memorable scenes. It’s a treat to see (most) of the characters one more time and you'll appreciate the heightened stakes. The good outweighs the disappointing ending, rushed love plot and lesser story. (On DVD September 24, 2021)

[kornstreifs-storys]

AoR, Forgotten Paths, 6

The Hollow Jirachi was launched back and crashed into the forest behind it. Shooting Star grimaced, “If you take the form of the strongest thing you killed, I guess your Masquerain buddy over there sucks at fighting.” That remark changed the look on the Hollows faces. The Masquerain looked very angry, while the others smiled.

Kuro turned to Maxwell and Dune heard him say, “Max, take the Eevees and get out of here. We’ll support Star against the hollows.” Maxwell nodded and turned to Sammy and Torrent, “Come you two, let’s get them out of here.” At first it looked like Sammy and Torrent wanted to protest, but Maxwell said, “The others will have an easier time fighting if they don’t have to protect anymon. And I can’t get them to safety on my own.”

This argument seemed to convince them and they gathered the Eevees to make a retreat to safety. The three hollows still up on the cliff watched this procedure but didn’t interfere, but the one that had jumped down, a big Machamp blocked the way and was getting ready to fight. Maxwell stepped forward to face it, but Dune cut in front of him. She looked back and gathered her courage, “Focus on getting the Eevees out, I’ll handle this one.”

Maxwell hesitated, “You sure?” he asked. Dune nodded, “I’m used to fight enemies stronger than myself and that could kill me in one hit. I’ve got this.” “What about Flake? Maxwell asked, the young Eevee was still clinging to his mothers back. She sighed, “Flake stays with me.” she replied. “But,” Maxwell interjected, but Dune stopped him there, “This isn’t negotiable. Last time I left someone important out of my sight it didn’t go well. I’m not making that mistake again.”

Maxwell didn’t seem convinced but nodded, Dune smiled, “You worry about getting to safety. Trust me on this.” Then she turned to face the Hollow. It smiled back, the wired smoke tendrils formed again and Dune received the words, “So you want to face me all alone? Do I look that weak to you?” Dune didn’t listen and got ready.

Dune took a deep breath. This fight was different them her last one. She hadn’t fought since the confrontation with that Nidoking all these months ago, because she had been scared, but she wasn’t the same Eevee she had been back then. Since that day she had gained six Levels and learned a new move. It was about time she got over her fear and faced battle again.

She readied an attack and could feel the infinity energy flow throughout her body. It was so much more powerful then last time. She smiled at the Hollow, “If you underestimate me it’s going to be your downfall.” A quick look back confirmed that Kuro and Kiara were ready to fight too, but they were outnumbered. This would be an insane fight. She looked at Flake who still clung to her back.

“What is your level right now?” she asked him. “25” he replied. She knew she couldn’t use her new move while she carried him. “Stay close and use protect if you have to. Mommy has to take care of this.” she said, he nodded and got of her back. She turned back, the Hollows were still watching them. It seemed like they didn’t want to make the first move and were waiting for Dune to make the first move.

Great, thought Dune. This was a less then ideal Situation. But she had a plan, she charged up Desert Rush, the energy flowed trough her body and she could feel how it turned to sand. The feeling was weird but not in a bad way, then once her body had turned entirely into a cloud of sand, she rushed forwards to ram into the Machamp at full force.

But the Hollow had awaited her and blocked her with protect. It smiled as Dune was now within it range and wouldn’t be able to dodge in time. It’s fists glowed with power and it unleashed a powerful close combat. The attack crashed into her and dispersed her body into sand, hit after hit then crashed into the sand cloud.

But despite the power of this move it didn’t seem to effect Dune at all. When the attack was over, the sand cloud reformed and she stood in front of the Hollow completely unharmed. She smiled, "Didn't expect this did you now?"

================================================

Start / previous / next Cover (Ch. 3)

And the fight begins. Will our heros overcome the odds and beat their stronger adversaries. Find out next time on AoR.

Small heads up. The next few pages will take place more or less simutaniously in universe as I focus on the individual fights one by one, so don't be confused why the charakters don't help eachother, they're busy with their own fight.

Check my DeviantArt

[books]

Writer Spotlight: Charlie Jane Anders

Since the late 2000s, Charlie Jane Anders has been writing some of the most lively, outrageous, and engaging short Sci-Fi fiction out there. Former editor-in-chief of science fiction and fantasy website io9.com, her bestselling debut novel, All the Birds in the Sky, won the Nebula Award for Best Novel and was a Hugo Award finalist. Before that, her story, “Six Months, Three Days,” won the Hugo Award. She has had fiction published by McSweeney’s, Lightspeed, and ZYZZYVA, while her journalism has appeared in Salon, the Wall Street Journal, and Mother Jones, among others.

We sat down with Charlie to discuss her new short story collection, Even Greater Mistakes, her start in writing, and the act of dreaming new worlds in unprecedented times. Click through to the end for insight into Charlie’s process, her thoughts on the sci-fi genre, and adapting work for the screen.

Tell us about your new book, Even Greater Mistakes—how did it come to be, and what’s the title all about?

I had been wanting to publish a full-length short story collection forever, and it never seemed like the right time. Until, at last, I was in the middle of publishing this young adult space fantasy trilogy, and @torbooks wanted to publish something between the first and second books. To my delight, we all agreed that a short story collection was the perfect choice.

Even Greater Mistakes was one of the alternate titles for my debut All the Birds in the Sky, and I felt it described these stories perfectly. All of these tales are about messing up, confronting your own fallibility, and finding yourself as a result.

Who is your favorite character in the book? Why?

My favorite story in the book is “Love Might Be Too Strong a Word,” about a space city with six different genders, corresponding to six different jobs. The main character, Mab, is a rebel who rejects the gendered oppression that everyone else on the ship lives under—y’s basically who I want to be when I grow up. I had so much fun writing yr.

Your book Never Say You Can’t Survive is about writing new worlds amid a, shall we say, disappointing reality. What can writing achieve in the face of general doom?

I really believe that your imagination—and your ability to spin made-up people out of your own psyche—are a lifeline when the world is going to a bad place. Since it came out, I’ve been overjoyed to hear from so many people who have been able to deal a little better with burnout, doom scrolling, and all kinds of horrible circumstances by writing their own fiction. I’m more certain than ever that we can find freedom and joy and the means to survive inside our own fictitious worlds.

What makes dreaming about the future so transformative—to both the dreamer and the reader along for the ride?

Contrary to what Fleetwood Mac seem to think, I don’t think it’s possible for us to stop thinking about the future. Most of us constantly obsess about the good things we hope will happen, but also all of the worst-case scenarios that we are all dreading. So the real question is whether we’re going to take control of how we think about the future and consciously try to imagine better futures. I think that if we decide to put our energy into visualizing a happier world to come, we’ll be closer to making it a reality.

How did you get your start in writing, and how did you find your happy place in your process?

In elementary school, I had a very severe learning disability—I nearly flunked out of first, second, and third grade. I was lucky to have a special-education teacher who took me under her wing and helped me master basic schoolwork by tapping into my creativity. She got me to write silly and obnoxious stories as a way of getting me excited about learning. Later, I wrote tons and tons of fanfiction. In high school, I was part of a group of people who did a collaborative storytelling project via an online bulletin board. Over and over again, I found that escaping into unreal places leaves me feeling more fulfilled and better able to cope with the so-called “real” world.

What was the first Sci-Fi title you loved?

Probably A Wrinkle in Time by Madeline L’Engle. I have vivid memories of getting sucked into her world of tesseracts and dystopias.

What’s something you wish you’d been told when you were just starting out?

1) Don’t be afraid of failure. Failure is awesome, and it leads to everything good. But also: 2) Find your people. Find a community of writers whose work you vibe with, who can help you to be better and feel less alone as you’re scribbling your weird stories.

What does a typical writing day look like for you? Are you a coffee shop/public transport kind of writer? Or a cozy-with-books-in-PJs-on-the-couch type of writer?

Before the pandemic, I had a routine that involved taking a really long walk and ending up at a nice coffee shop, where I would sit and write for a long time. The past couple of years, I’ve continued to try to take a walk, but I haven’t spent much time in coffee shops. I’m hoping one of these days I can get back to them because I miss that atmosphere. These days I will sit in bed late at night and scribble in a blank notebook, and that’s actually a really fun way to tap into a different side of my writing brain.

What makes a good sci-fi story? What’s your pet peeve in the genre?

A good story, in any genre, is one that makes me feel stuff and leaves me wondering long after I put the book down. Also, a good story makes me curious about the characters, the setting, and what’s going to happen next. My pet peeve is when people try to shame other people for the stories they love or the fandoms that are meaningful to them. Policing other people’s favorite stories is gross.

Your novel Victories Greater than Death is currently being adapted for TV. What’s something about that process that surprises you?

I’ve had a bunch of my books and stories put in development for television and movies, and I’ve also worked on adopting other people’s stuff for TV. The thing that surprises me most right now is that the attitude in Hollywood towards book authors and other creators of original content has changed dramatically. Not that long ago, Hollywood might option a novel or short story and not really want that much input from the original author. But in the last several years, Hollywood people seem way more interested in optioning a book if they know the author will be involved. There’s also a lot more care being taken to be true to the source material than there used to be.

What else is coming up next for you?

The second book of my young adult trilogy, Dreams Bigger Than Heartbreak, comes out in April! Also, I have an adult fantasy novel that hasn’t been announced yet—but it’s mostly written, and I cannot wait for people to hear about it!

[skellebonez]

Prompt 76, MK accidentally lets it slip to Pigsy that Monkey and Macaque are “seeing each other” as in not quite dating but been on a few “dates”...again. Pigsy who is on a low profile and hasn’t told MO who he really is, let’s it slip how he thinks “his eldest brother can do better” and MK is very confused.

Feel free to ignore!!!!! I’ve never asked for something like this before and if I did it wrong feel free to ignore it!

I may or may not have a soft spot for protective younger sibling type scenes in media so I had way too much fun writing this.

It could be worse. They could be dating. Wait? They are?!

"I don't understand what that damn monkey is thinking half the time," Pigsy said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his snout with a groan. "Just... let Macaque on the ship, yeah, that totally isn't going to backfire. Not like he has ulterior motives at all, not like we just learned all the stuff he pulled over the last year including trapping three of us in a lantern to fight you and teach you some kind of lesson.”

Things had been tense on the drone ship for the last month. They’d barely begun on their journey before a certain immortal monkey managed to catch them off guard and chase them for multiple days under the White Bone Spirit’s influence.

It became apparent very quickly that she was using him to toy with them, a sort of gloating in her victory. Well, joke was on her. Sending him after them meant they were able to see just how far her influence and control actually reached and they were able to find a way to free him from that with more than a little force and some stolen artifacts.

The fact she hadn’t sent anyone else, however, was... concerning to say the least. If she wasn’t worried about losing her grip on Macaque, of all people, that did not bode well for them.

But for the moment that was neither here nor there. What mattered in the moment was that in the month since the immortal monkey had managed to be dragged onto their ship to recuperate Wukong had become far too comfortable with letting him have free reign over whatever he wanted to do on the ship (within reason).

And Pigsy didn’t like that. Aforementioned soul trapping in a lantern and trying to turn MK against his teacher and all that. Pigsy didn’t trust Six-Eared Macaque as far as he could throw him.

"It's been a month and nothing's happened yet?" MK offered not so helpfully, shrugging with an awkward nervous chuckle. “I mean... unless he’s playing a really long game he’d probably have done something by now, right?”

"Well... It could be worse," Pigsy admitted with a chuckle as he stretched out and started to cut up the ingredients for his lunch dish. "They could be dating."

MK made an awkward choking sound as he inhaled his water.

"Wait...?" Pigsy turned around slowly, leveling the young man with a half glare. He stared for a moment, watching as MK refused to meet his gaze. Looking left and right and literally anywhere not at Pigsy’s face. "THEY ARE!?"

"I didn't tell you!" MK shouted, jumping up and hiding behind the table and pointing at Pigsy dramatically. "I said nothing, you cannot pin this on me!"

"YOU KNEW AND YOU KEPT IT A SECRET!?" Pigsy yelped, tone not angry but loud enough to make MK freeze with wide worried eyes. The chef stopped, sighing again as he took in a calming breathe before continuing. "Ok... ok... MK, I ain't mad, being mad at you would be ridiculous. But exactly how long have you known?"

MK frowned, looking up at the ceiling in thought before a tentative but curious look passed over his face.

"...I can neither confirm nor deny that I caught them smooching in the med bay two weeks ago."

"TWO WEEKS!?"

“You didn’t hear it from me!” MK said, pointing at himself as he backed away with another nervous laugh. “I have plausible deniability, you figured it out on your own!”

“Of all the hard headed thick skulled bad decisions that stupid-” Pigsy mumbled to himself, burying his face in his hands as he held back a scream of frustration. “There are so many men. So many men! So many ex-enemies even! But no, he had to go and hook up with his actual ex that tried to take over his identity and kill his entire travel party!”

“To be fair he kinda seems to be changing for the be-wait...?” MK started to offer, watching at the chef paced around the kitchen. “How... do you know they used to date? I don’t think even Tang knows that.”

“He could have dated literally anyone else and he chose to get back with Macaque,” Pigsy said with another sigh, removing his hands from his face with a scowl. “I knew he was dense but elder brother can do so much better.”

“I’M. SORRY?” MK yelled, this time being the one to startle the other. “ELDER. BROTHER?”

Pigsy froze, eyes wide in horrified realization. “... you didn’t hear that.”

Pigsy ran out of the room, MK hot on his heels.

“PIGSY COME BACK YOU NEED TO EXPLAIN AND NOT MAKE RASH DECISIONS!”

Pigsy did not go back to the kitchen, instead heading straight to the rec room that he knew the two monkeys were spending most of their recent time in when not off alone who knows where (now he knows where). MK was following right behind, trying to both get an explanation out of him and to dissuade him from confronting the Monkey King and also looking generally very confused and concerned.

He didn’t succeed before the pig demon slammed the rec room door open.

"WUKONG!" Pigsy shouted from the doorway, startling the two immortal monkeys from whatever conversation they were engrossed in . "You. Me. Deck. Now."

"I-"

"NOW. ELDER BROTHER."

The facial journey through confusion to realization to horror on Sun Wukong's face was worth the delayed reaction shout of "WHAT DO YOU MEAN ELDER BROTHER!?" from the other immortal sitting next to the Monkey King.

“BAJIE!?” Wukong yelped.

“YOU’RE ZHU BAJIE!?” MK yelped in much the same tone.

“Oh fuck,” Macaque whispered under his breath.

“DECK!” Pigsy repeated.

“BAJIE WHAT THE FUCK!?” Wukong repeated himself.

“ZHU BAJIE!?” MK also repeated.

“How many other enemies did I piss off that are on this ship?” Macaque continued, seemingly resigned to his fate.

“YES I’M BAJIE STOP YELLING MY OWN NAME AT ME!”

Needless to say that conversation was the most incoherent non-productive mess they had on the ship in the last month. Until Sandy burst into the room and forced them all to talk it out peacefully.

Macaque did, in fact, learn how many old enemies he had on the ship when Sandy came clean that he was also Sha Wujing.

And Pigsy did not, in fact, manage to talk any sense into his elder brother given how much MK was yelling at him for keeping his identity a secret from him.

Wukong just sat with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands wondering what in the actual hell his life had become.

(The next day, after a night of rest and a day talking to MK and apologizing and explaining everything, Pigsy caught the two immortal monkeys asleep cuddled on the couch of the rec room and decided that his elder brother could make his own decisions. And maybe MK had a point, given Macaque hadn’t done anything. Yet.

If he pulled a blanket over the two of them while they rested and they noticed no one said anything about it. And if Macaque snuck off the ship and there were, coincidentally, some rare ingredients for some dishes Pigsy missed making and a few scrapes and bruises on the immortal when he resurfaced... well, he didn’t say anything either. But he made it a point to have more mangoes and plums on hand.

Just in case.)

[fragilevixenfic]

My AO3 Fanfiction Links (Current)

“I’ve never really thought about making a “Master List” of my own work but I figured, now is the time to do so. If any of the links are incorrect just let me know. I fix. 

Adding in a “keep reading” tab because the list is starting to get long and intense.

Each fic is categorized and easily referenced. I’ll update as I go.

X Files

Series

Into The Shadows

XII (COMPLETE): A serial killer targets victims and leaves behind symbols of his affection -- but who is his intended target and what will it take to discover the truth? (This has a lot of trigger warnings)

Dance In The Dark (ONGOING Chapters 12/? Posted **UPDATED):  With the continuing murder trial of Miles, Mulder, Scully, and Max are confronted by the VCU with a case that seems to be mimicking the pattern by their, now infamous, psychopath on trial.

Echoes and Whispers

Parallel (COMPLETE):  The aftermath of the three little words that Mulder says to Scully in his hospital bed after being rescued from the Queen Anne as it re-appeared in the Bermuda Triangle...and the strange connection that Scully starts to feel to a memory that Scully couldn't possibly have.

Only The Night (ONGOING):  Mulder and Scully begin their undercover assignment as an engaged couple with the assistance of Skinner at the University of Maryland to catch a serial rapist, putting their newly formed physical bond to the test in this sequel to “Parallel”.

Casefics

Falling Away (COMPLETE):  Kersh’s assignment partially splits the team as Scully goes undercover under the watchful eye of Mulder as they both assist on an operation with SWAT and FBI personnel. (A gift for Greta)

Veritas se revēlet (COMPLETE):  (The title is roughly translated to let the truth be revealed in Latin) An impromptu wild goose chase leads Mulder and Scully to the drifts of a winter-locked Tonopah, Nevada—where a little more than the embodiment of Mulder’s imagination takes shape between the walls of the Mizpah Hotel in the dead of winter. (A gift for @monikafilefan)

She Walks at Night (COMPLETE):  Mulder’s knack for getting himself and Scully into sticky situations leads them to the heart of NOLA at the tail end of Hurricane season after barely surviving a Floridian storm—to investigate a rumor of a notable Voodoo Queen and missing girls trying to bring her back. (A gift for @starbuck09256)

Intrigues in the Dark (COMPLETE):   A string of suicides leads Mulder and Scully to a sleepy, coastal town in Oregon for the second time—on their return to The X File—as tensions run high and nothing is as it seems. (A gift for @admiralty-xfd)

By Light, Unseen (COMPLETE):   A series of re-opened cold case murders with one link…they’d been drained of every drop of blood and wore the same, haunting stare toward the sky with their lips aghast as if they were still screaming. (A gift for @serahsanguine)

Post-Series

A House is Not a Home (COMPLETE):  The mere thought of raising a newborn in a world full of horrors has every part of Scully’s emotional irrationality over firing on a chilly, winter evening. Mulder wants nothing more than to show her that not everything is gray and grim. (for @danceswithcybermen)

Remember the Reason (COMPLETE):  Post Series (Part 1 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder and Scully already knew that life with a newborn would be difficult but the first Christmas with their two-month-old daughter throws every curveball…some worse than others, some more humorous. (For @underworldobsessed)

Confectioners Sugar & Snow Drifts (COMPLETE):  Post Series (Part 2 of the “Little Redhead Series”). Mulder spends the morning bonding with Eliana by having a Christmas baking session while Scully is out shopping for gifts. Messes, mayhem, and a healthy dose of laughter ensue. No moment is ever dull as the snow falls outside.

The Easter Bunny was a Fox (COMPLETE):  Post Series (Part 3 of the “Little Redhead” Series). Scully has to pick up Bill, Tara, and a couple of surprise family from the airport, leaving Mulder alone with their 6-year-old daughter, Eliana, on Easter Morning. All she has for him are curiosities as Easter’s non-Christian ideology unfolds before her eyes…creating the most unique bonding opportunity for a father and his daughter. (For Flicked_Switch)

Angst/UST/RST

Caught in the Rain (COMPLETE):  A dark, rainy night leads Mulder and Scully to a hole in the wall bar where glasses of Scotch and unresolved tension is re-visited.

Or We Can Burn (COMPLETE):  Post Never Again - expansion and continuation of the aftermath surrounding what Scully has been hiding from Mulder.

It Lingers (COMPLETE):  The aftermath of trauma and the lingering effects of Mulder’s risky attempt to recover the truth about Samantha’s abduction leads to a revelation from Scully about her own coping mechanisms and flashes into a past she doesn’t fully remember...and the path to which they lead thereafter. (For @red2007)

Fluff/Humor

Nervous Laughter (COMPLETE):  It’s been two full days since their tender, albeit brief, moment at the stroke of midnight and Mulder decides to be brave and methodical by inviting Scully over for a little movie and popcorn night for a film that has stayed locked in his mind as her favorite—The Exorcist. (This is a gift for @rationalcashew)

Lamplight & Shooting Stars (COMPLETE):  It’s Spring-time in DC and spontaneous, mutually taken vacation time has become a personal mission of Mulder’s to surprise Scully with so much more than an escape from their norm—and the unseasonable, uncomfortable city heat. (For @underworldobsessed)

Into the Nightlife (ONGOING):  A little paid vacation time never hurt anyone, right? (Not giving anything away this time)

Smut

Insomniac (COMPLETE):  Another lonely, sleepless night, another dingy motel, and another town that isn’t home for Mulder…but, something changed, with the last gasp of the air conditioner as his partner, and best friend, chooses to walk through the adjoining door. (Expanded writing exercise)

Vultus in Speculo (COMPLETE):  The last of the paperwork on the Strickland case has been finalized and filed and Scully goes off for a drink at a known FBI watering hole. Mulder is invited but doesn’t show up until after Scully is halfway through a drink—giving him an opening to inquire about a whole lot more than her flirtations with the Sheriff in the booth of a rooftop bar. (written for @msrheadcanon

Phosphorescence (COMPLETE):  Still reeling from their experience in North Carolina, Mulder and Scully take a much-needed excursion to the coast of Oregon, where a flicker of light becomes more than a curiosity in the middle of the night. (Written for @anniexami)

The Darker Side of Love (COMPLETE): Mulder does not want to talk but he does not want Scully to leave, either. (This is for the MSR fanzine vol 3)

Ficlets/Drabbles/Short Prompt Collection

Affirmations and Protestations: “Fluff and Angst” Prompts (ONGOING):  

 Chapter 1 - "You Weren't Supposed to Hear That" - prompt #5, 61, 77

Chapter 2 - "Shout!" - prompt #19, 61 (From Valerie)

Chapter 3 - "Litost" - prompt #1, 85, 97 (From Monika)

Chapter 4 - "Ad Infinitum" - prompt #42 (From Minuete)

Chapter 5 - "Brick" - prompt - After Scully calls Mulder in the ep Emily, she asks him to bring her some things from home. Her journal falls to the floor and Mulder sees some things written about him that she has never allowed him to know. (from Monika)

Chapter 6 - "I'd rather be oblivious" - prompt #46 (from Annie)

Criminal Minds

Angst/UST/RST

Dulce Periculum (COMPLETE):  Maxine and Spencer have continued seeing each other, in spite of the interference brought to the surface by Cat Adams. Spencer continues to work closely with the BAU after it nearly dismantled, with signature members scattering to the winds, leaving behind only a few, including himself, to keep working on their caseload. After a long, intense case, Spencer returns home to a little more than a can of worms. (A gift for an anonymous prompter)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Angst/UST/RST

Chasing your Silhouette (COMPLETE):  They’d learned each other’s quirks and intricacies on the job—but when did it become over the line? When did physicality become a detriment to them once they’ve taken off their shields? When did they realize the line in the sand no longer existed? (This is meant to take place a couple weeks after “Zebras” – had to assume a timeline, I don’t remember actual dates)

Paternity Redux - Time Just Stopped (COMPLETE):  Her strength has always been immeasurable—but sometimes, something has to give and a string breaks. Nothing will ever be the same.“I’m trying my best, that is enough.” - UnknownThis is part of a challenge, to right a series of wrongs in an episode that has perpetrated many a discussion of “What Could Have Been”. WriterKC, Liv.Einziger, JustAnotherBookWorm78, MrsWellRested, EORocks, AlexisDawn, ChriskaPeach, and I have stepped up to the plate to do just that.

Oblivion (ONGOING 9/? Chapters posted ***UPDATED***):   The undercover operation in Oregon takes an unexpected, unpleasant turn for Olivia Benson as an injury turns her life, and career, upside-down leaving her with pieces of her memory scattered in the wind.

Humor

Unlock the Door (TENTATIVELY COMPLETE 2/2):   Olivia returns home from a celebratory series of shots with Kim Greylek and lets Elliot Stabler hear a little more than she ever intended to in the aftermath.

Series

Polaroids and Promises (COMPLETE):   The Special Victims Unit has undergone an enormous amount of changes in the past six months, to the point that they are drastically undermanned—until a transfer from the 13th precinct brings new life, and a little chaos, to the team. Will her addition prove to be a permanent shift or a flash in the pan?

Discarded Dignity (COMPLETE):   Elora continues to gain much-needed confidence as a member of the Special Victims Unit but an arrival booked for trespassing, assaulting an officer, and disorderly throws her progress into chaos as her past jumps to the surface. Will she be able to look beyond the misstep to solve one of the most convoluted cases she’s faced? 

Contract Corruption (ONGOING 10/?):   Dickie Stabler and Justin Andrisani are in over their heads--and the members of SVU and the Organized Crime task force must come together in order to set things right.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit/Organized Crime Crossover

Series

Words of love, words of lies, words of loss

Age of Regret (COMPLETE):  Elliot Stabler has never been good with words but ten years and a double on the rocks in a lonely room will make a man pour his heart out…in any way that he can.

Infidelis (COMPLETE): Elliot had been haunted by too many ghosts; expectations, fantasies, and a promise that he knew should never be kept. It was time to lay them all to rest. “I do not regret you…I regret what you did to me.” - Unknown

[sunflower-swan]

One of my goals this year was to kudo and comment on 100 fics (1k or longer). Not because shorter fics are not worthy, they totally are - I write TONS of drabbles - it just felt like a good metric for this goal. It would be super easy to read a hundred, less than 500 word drabbles, ya know? So I wanted that added challenge.

Here is January! I read a lot of Harry Potter, a lot of rare pairs, and a lot of smut. Hopefully you find something here that you might enjoy as well. :)

Happy New Year, Lovey by @krumpufferao3  Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Madam Rosmerta/Ron Weasley Rating: Explicit WC: 6367 Summary: It's Ron Weasley's first New Year's Eve without Hermione Granger at his side. He finds himself at The Three Broomsticks, alone and enjoying the view of the beautiful, exotic and much older Madame Rosmerta. Will Ron ring in the new year lusting over the first woman to stir his libido or will he spend it fulfilling his youthful fantasies?

I read this because KrumPuffer had listed Rosmerta/Ron as a favorite pairing and I wanted to write them a gift drabble. KrumPuffer’s writing is beautiful and this fic was sexy as hell. Before this fic, I wouldn’t have ever really considered this pairing, but I totally dig it now. Age gap!

~~~

Prologue by @aedwritesfic  Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Draco/Harry Rating: Teen WC: 4565 Summary: Ten years after the war, Harry stumbles across Malfoy in a Muggle club. What could have been an awkward encounter might just be a new beginning.

Literally everything about this fic was pure perfection. It would have been all too easy to go in a smut-for-no-reason direction. But adavision is better than that, instead weaving a tale of two complex characters accidentally stumbling upon each other and making an effort to get to know each other. 100/10 recommend. And then go read everything adavison has written because she is #writinggoals. 

~~~

Next Week by @samunderthelights  Fandom: The Flash (TV 2014) Pairing: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart Rating: General WC: 1000 Summary: After meeting up with Leonard every week for a year and a half in secret, Barry decides that it's time to come clean about his feelings for him.

I’ve never watched The Flash and had no idea who these characters were going into this fic. Sam contributed a few fics to the @ziggystardustminifest last month and I learned that they are the master of angst! Despite having no prior experience with this fandom or these characters, I still felt a deep connection to the story, which I think says a lot about Sam’s skill to pull the reader in and then rip out their heart.

~~~

Nott a Pott of Perfect Amortentia by Amebb42 Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Theo/Harry Rating: Teen WC: 1667 Summary: Something unexpected happens when Harry and Theo's Amortentia potion goes wrong.

I wish I was this clever when coming up with titles! This fic was a big inspiration when I was writing my first ever NottPott last week. The side characters running commentary was both hilarious and straight up in character. Super cute accidental bonding fic! 

~~~

It’s Raining Weasleys by @lorbie05  Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Hermione/Percy, Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Arthur, Hermione/Fred/George, Hermione/Charlie, Hermione/Bill Rating: E WC: 1850 Summary: In hindsight, maybe partaking in a secret ritual dedicated to Circe at The Burrow had been a bad idea. She had been doomed from the start.

If anyone could write six lemony-goodness scenes in less than 2k words and include knotting, Lori can AND DID! I think Percy and Arthur were my favs, though they were all HOT! Hermione is a very lucky witch in this fic. 

~~~

Hermione Granger and the Day Ron Weasley Called her a Slut (Part 1 of Eighth Year OT3 series) by ellebesea Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Hermione/Draco/Harry Rating: E WC: 1179 Summary: To be honest, Harry had also found Hermione’s determined mingling with the Slytherins to be odd, but he knew better than to actually confront her about it. Besides, he isn’t exactly one to talk, is he? Not when one considers his newfound urge to show his dick off to Malfoy, anyway.

Important info to know about me: I am not a Harmony shipper. But for some reason, when Draco is thrown in, I dunno... it works for me, lol. BAMF Hermione, who knows what/who she wants? Yep. Loved it. Ron can eff right off. 

~~~

Scorching Hot Threesomes and Silent Co-existence: Harry Potter’s Guide to Life Post-Voldemort (Part 2 of Eighth Year OT3 series) by ellebesea Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: Hermione/Draco/Harry Rating: E WC: 33,591 Summary: Honestly, he's not sure how he should feel about the events of last night, but his cock doesn't seem the least bit confused. His first time, beyond a few handies behind a greenhouse or shed, and it was a threesome with his gorgeous best friend and - he might as well admit it - the hottest guy he's ever met. Or: the sequel to Hermione Granger and the Day Ron Weasley Called her a Slut. Hermione is still a badass, Ron is slightly less foolish, Draco Malfoy manages to convey a whole lot without saying much, and maybe, just maybe, Harry will get a clue.

Judging from the post dates, this fic was written over the course about a year and a half. The beginning isn’t bad, but it’s evident that the writer grows in the craft in the later chapters. That being said, the night that I binged this fic had been at the conclusion of the most chaotic day of my (9 year) career. I found this buried in some bookmarks and it was exactly what I needed to bring myself back to center: an unapologetic smut-filled threesome fest. First of all, hot, Hott, HOT. Second of all, the relationship between the trio was very balanced, no one ever was always the center of attention and I really liked that. Harry being a virgin their first time? Okay, sure, I guess. Moving beyond that, then ending was super fucking sweet and brought the whole story to a very happy conclusion. I would love to read more about their lives post-this story. 

~~~

And the Spiders from Mars by @phenomenalasterisk ​ Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: many Rating: Mature WC: 4615 Summary: A collection of my drips and drabbles I manage to pull together for the Ziggy Stardust Mini Fest. These are unconnected, pick and choose which chapters to read based on your tastes. Tags updated as I go, with additional details in chapter headings. Came here for a specific tag? Check to see which day it's from and go to that chapter. Came here for a specific ship/character? Check the chapter titles for a cheat sheet. Each chapter is labeled for content as well.

Phe wrote some really fantastic drabbles for the @ziggystardustminifest. Seriously, they are all brilliant stories and beautiful writing. The Bowie inspiration is so evident in them all. There’s even an artwork! Which I could not stop staring at for at least a full minute! 

Not a whole lot, but, shrug. It’s what I had time to read. Love Fest is going on at the moment, so I think I’ll have a special post for everything I read for that. If you read something you love, please leave kudos and comments for the authors. Even a single emoji brings warmth to our hearts and a smile to our faces. Kudos are nice; comments are nicer.

Or, if you have a rec you think I’d like, then drop me an ask!

[chibsytelford]

Not Usually Like This

- Gif credit to creator - @thedevilsmoonshine

A/N - this is based of the song 'not usually like this' by Cian Ducrot. He is my newest obsession and I recommend you listen to his music. ❣

You can join my group chat HERE for updates.

We used to be like the lovers, the ones that you'd see in a movie, I felt like I was your Noah and I thought that you were my Allie

When you and EZ first met it was like a page from a book, a scene from a movie where you just lock eyes and instantly click. It happened exactly like that. EZ holding the door open for you to exit La Carniceria like a proper gentleman. You looked up to thank him and the moment you made eye contact you knew there was something special about him. And he thought the same about you. He soon realized you were smart, trusting, caring and loyal. Or so he thought. He trusted you quickly and soon told you about the ruthless Mayans MC. You had seen them around town a few times, riding their bikes like they owned the town and they did in a way. Most people were scared of them, most people hated them. And you understood why.

You and EZ made it official after a few months, and the club took you in under their wings. Made sure nobody messed with you, made sure you were looked after which you were thankful for. They were a good bunch on the most part.

It took EZ 6 months to say the words 'I Love You'. You hadn't said it back, telling him you really liked him but you weren't quite at the love stage yet. He smiled and said 'take your time' and he was great. He didn't push you to say it. He was thankful for your honesty.

But we weren't out of a book,

And I never wanted to hide it

But I had my heart set on you

When I guess you still hadn't decided

It was around the year mark when EZ realised you still hadn't told him you loved him. He didn't normally push, but he needed to know that you felt the same way he did. You were the one for him, yet you hadn't reciprocated his deep feelings. He showed you every day that he loved you. Made sure that every guy who walked through the clubhouse door knew you were his. He was quick to tell any hangarounds that he was taken, that he was in love. If only you did the same.

When he approached the subject - one night as you both sat having a drink - about if you loved him yet, you laughed. You once again told him 'I really like you EZ. You're a good guy'. He had sighed and given you a smile that never reached his eyes. He didn't bring it up again, too scared that he'd lose you for good.

But I was so fucked up when I saw the way you looked at him

Did you fall out of love? Did he give you something I couldn't give?

One night he finally broke. Finally admitted to himself that you were never going to feel the same way he did. He sat with Angel who tapped him on the shoulder and pointed in your direction. The brothers looked at you and saw you chatting with a guy from another charter, but EZ didn't recognise him. Angel had asked him "bro, you gonna interfere?" And EZ had shaken his head saying "Nah, leave her. She's never looked at me like that". Angel had looked at him sympathetically. "You can do better than her anyway" and EZ being the ever loyal person he is told him off. "Stop it Angel. I couldn't, she's amazing and everything I've ever needed". Angel had shrugged and walked off, leaving his younger brother with his thoughts.

EZ had watched you for the next 30 minutes - looking at the way you touched the guys arm when you were talking to him, how your smile lit up your face when he made you laugh, how that there seemed to be nobody else in the room except him. He was jealous. Sad. Hurt. He wished that he could have been that guy.

What did he have EZ didn't? They were both in Clubs. The other guy couldn't offer safety anymore than EZ could. He couldn't promise a life without pain or hurt, just like EZ couldnt either. So why him? Why had you ignored EZ for the last few hours, throwing away the past year for a guy who was very similar to himself?

No, I'm not usually like this

And I don't think I'm ready for change

You know I could usually fight this

EZ had spent the rest of the night just watching you and this guy. You had even looked over at him a few times, offering a small smile before turning back to the man who had all of your attention. Any other time EZ would have stormed over, grabbed the guy and laid into him before whisking you away. But he knew that it was pointless this time. He knew that you wanted the man to talk to you, to give you attention. EZ should have confronted you, called you names, been angry with you but he respected and loved you too much for that. So all he did was sit back and watch. Watch his lover love someone else.

And I know it's hard sometimes

But I wish you could stay for a moment

He wished he stood a chance. He wished that he could turn back time a few weeks and change himself. But honestly, he didn't know what we could do differently. He listened to you when you said he was spending too much time with the club, so he made effort to get home early and have some days off as hard as it was. He did everything you asked and still that wasn't enough. He would kill for one last touch from you, one last kiss but inside he knew it wasn't going to happen.

I thought I got over this feeling

'Cause it's been six years now

But I saw you last week on the street and

I caught myself turning around

Six years later and EZ had just about managed to stop thinking about you everyday. It took him a while and multiple interventions from his brothers to finally stop chasing after you. To let you go. It was hard but he got through it and felt like he could finally move on. He might have only known you for a short time but the impact you made on him was instant and he would always remember you, for the good and bad times.

As he waited to cross the road to check on his pops, he saw you exit the shop with the same guy from before. He stopped in his tracks and just watched you. You looked madly in love and extremely happy as you laughed at something the guy said. He didn't have his kutte on and EZ wondered if the guy had left for you. Maybe that was something he offered that EZ wasn't sure if he ever could. Did you know that before him? Did EZ know for sure himself that he would have chosen the club over you?

The memories of that night came back to EZ. The night that he had just about managed to bottle away and keep closed and deep down in his heart. He mentally scolded himself, remembering what his brothers had said. "The club comes first Ezekiel" "You will find someone else who loves you for you". He didn't believe it at first but as time went on he slowly accepted that you were not coming back, and that someday he would have to move on from you.

And he did. Eventually. A year ago he met someone. He was hesitant at first to open his heart again, but he managed to. He had learned his lesson and he was taking it slow, this time not saying the special 3 words until he was 100% sure that the girl felt the same. He thought it was coming soon. It was like night and day between you and his new girlfriend. She treated EZ like he deserved to be treated, and he accepted it - hesitantly at first - but he was getting there.

EZ composed himself, shook you from his thoughts and crossed the road going into his pops' shop. He never wanted his new girl to feel the way he did, so he vowed to never think about you again. He wouldn't do that to anyone. He knew how much it hurt him.

@rebelwrites @encounterthepast @yourwonkywriter @everyhowlmarksthedead @pancakeisreading @phoenixhalliwell @angelreyesisdaddy04 @angelreyesgirl @lauraashley93 @louisianalady @withmyteeth @mayans-sauce @jasminee97 @calif0rnia-lovers @gemini0410 @rocketqueen @kid-from-new-zealand @est1887 @meteora-fc @mrsmarvelous1995 @multiyfandomgirl40 @destynelseclipsa @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo @starrynite7114 @scuzmunkie @blessedboo @sheeshgivemeabreak @elcococruz @anangelwhodidntfall @talicat713 @i-love-scott-mccall

[tlbodine]

The Horror Genius of Five Nights At Freddy’s

I’ve been playing FNAF: Help Wanted VR on my Oculus Quest lately (a birthday present to myself -- I know I’m late to that party!) and it’s reignited in me my old love of this series. I know Scott Cawthon’s politics aren’t great, but I don’t think there’s any malice in his heart beyond usual Christian conservative nonsense -- and I think he stepped down as graciously and magnanimously as possible when confronted about it. Time will judge Scott Cawthon’s politics, and that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I want to talk about what makes these games so damn special, from a horror, design, and marketing perspective. I think there’s really SO MUCH to be learned from studying these games and the wider influence they’ve had as intellectual property. 

What Is FNAF? 

In case you’ve somehow been living under a rock for the last seven years, Five Nights At Freddy’s (hereafter, FNAF) is a horror franchise spanning 17 games (10 main games + some spinoffs and troll games, we’ll get to that), 27 books, a movie deal, and a couple live-action attractions. 

But before it exploded into that kind of tremendous IP, it started out as a single indie pont-and-click game created entirely by one dude, Scott Cawthon. Cawthon had developed other games in the past without much fame or success, including some Christian children’s entertainment. He was working as a cashier at Dollar General and making games in his spare time -- and most of those games got panned. 

So he tried making something different. 

After being criticized that the characters in one of his children’s games looked like soulless, creepy animatronics, Cawthon had his lightbulb moment and created a horror game centered on....creepy animatronics! 

The rest, as they say, is history. 

The Genius of FNAF’s Horror Elements

In the first FNAF game, you play as a night security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, a sort of ersatz Chuck-E-Cheese establishment. The animatronics are on free-roaming mode at night, but you don’t want to let them find you in your security room so you have to watch them move through the building on security camera monitors. If they get too close, you can slam your security room doors closed. But be careful, because this restaurant operates on a shoestring budget, and the power will go off if you keep the doors closed too long or flicker the lights too often. And once the lights go out, you’re helpless against the animatronics in the dark. 

Guiding you through your gameplay is a fellow employee, Phone Guy, who calls you each night with some helpful advice. Phone Guy is voiced by Cawthon himself, and listening to his tapes gives you some hints of the game’s underlying story as well as telling you how to play. A few newspaper clippings and other bits of scrap material help to fill in more details of the story. 

Over the next set of games, the story would be further developed, with each new game introducing new mechanics and variations on the theme -- in one, you don a mask to slip past the notice of animatronics; in another, you have to play sound cues to lure an animatronic away from you. By the fourth game, the setup was changed completely, now featuring a child with a flashlight hiding from the monsters outside his door -- nightmarish versions of the beloved child-friendly mascots. The mechanics change just enough between variations to keep things fresh while maintaining a consistent brand. 

There are so many things these games do well from a storytelling and horror perspective: 

Jump Scares: It’s easy to shrug these games off for relying heavily on jump scares, and they absolutely do have a lot of them. But they’re used strategically. In most games, the jump scares are a punishment (a controlled shock, if you will) -- if you play the game perfectly, you’ll never be jump-scared. This is an important design choice that a lot of other horror games don’t follow. 

Atmospheric Dread: These games absolutely deliver horror and tension through every element of design -- some more than others, admittedly. But a combination of sound cues, the overall texture and aesthetic of the world, the “things move when you’re not looking at them” mechanic, all of it works together to create a feeling of unease and paranoia. 

Paranoia: As in most survival horror games, you’re at a disadvantage. You can’t move or defend yourself, really -- all you can do is watch. And so watch you do. Except it’s a false sense of security, because flicking lights and checking cameras uses up precious resources, putting you at greater risk. So you have to balance your compulsive need to check, double-check, and make sure...with methodical resource conservation. The best way to survive these games is to remain calm and focused. It’s a brilliant design choice. 

Visceral Horror: The monster design of the animatronics is absolutely delightful, and there’s a whole range of them to choose from. The sheer size and weight of the creatures, the way they move and position themselves, their grunginess, the deadness of their eyes, the quantity and prominence of their teeth. They are simultaneously adorable and horrifying. 

Implicit Horror: One of the greatest strengths to FNAF as a franchise is that it never wears its story on its sleeve. Instead of outright telling you what’s going on, the story is delivered in bits and pieces that you have to put together yourself -- creating a puzzle for an engaged player to think about and theorize over and consider long after the game is done. But more than that, the nature of the horror itself is such that it becomes increasingly upsetting the more you think on it. The implications of what’s going on in the game world -- that there are decaying bodies tucked away inside mascots that continue to perform for children, that a man dressed in a costume is luring kids away into a private room to kill them, and so forth -- are the epitome of fridge horror. 

The FNAF lore does admittedly start to become fairly ridiculous and convoluted as the franchise wears on. But even ret-conned material manages to be pretty interesting in its own right (and there is nothing in the world keeping you from playing the first four games, or even the first six, and pretending none of the rest exist). 

Another thing I really appreciate about the FNAF franchise is that it’s quite funny, in a way that complements and underscores the horror rather than detracting from it. It’s something a lot of other properties utterly fail to do. 

The Genius of Scott Cawthon’s Marketing 

OK, so FNAF utilizes a multi-prong attack for creating horror and implements it well -- big deal. Why did it explode into a massive IP sensation when other indie horror games that are just as well-made barely made a blip on the radar? 

Well! That’s where the real genius comes in. This game was built and marketed in a way to maximize its franchisability. 

First, the story utilizes instantly identifiable, simple but effective character designs, and then generates more and more instantly identifiable unique characters with each iteration. Having a wealth of characters and clever, unique designs basically paves the way for merchandise and fan-works. (That they’re anthropomorphic animal designs also probably helped -- because that taps into the furry fandom as well without completely alienating non-furries). 

Speaking of fan-work, Scott Cawthon has always been very supportive of fandom, only taking action when people would try to profit off knock-off games and that sort of thing -- basically bad-faith copies. But as far as I know he’s always been super chill with fan-created content, even going so far as to engage directly with the fandom. Which brings me to....

These games were practically designed for streaming, and he took care to deliver them into the hands of influential streamers. Because the games are heavy on jump-scares and scale in difficulty (even including extra-challenging modes after the core game is beaten) they are extremely fun to watch people play. They’re short enough to be easily finished over the duration of a long stream, and they’re episodic -- lending themselves perfectly to a YouTube Lets Play format. One Night = One Video, and now the streamer has weeks of content from your game (but viewers can jump in at any time without really missing much). 

The games are kid-friendly but also genuinely frightening. Because the most disturbing parts of the game’s lore are hinted at rather than made explicit, younger players can easily engage with the game on a more basic surface level, and others can go as deep into the lore as they feel comfortable. There is no blood and gore and violence or even any explicitly stated death in the main game; all of the murder and death is portrayed obliquely by way of 8-bit mini games and tangential references. Making this game terrifying but accessible to youngsters, and then marketing it directly to younger viewers through popular streamers (and later, merchandising deals) is genius -- because it creates a very broad potential audience, and kids tend to spend 100% of their money (birthdays, allowances, etc.) and are most likely to tell their friends about this super scary game, etc. etc.

By creating a puzzle box of lore, and then interacting directly with the fandom -- dropping hints, trolling, essentially creating an ARG of his own lore through his website, in-game easter eggs, and tie-in materials -- Cawthon created a mystery for fandom to solve. And fans LOVE endlessly speculating over convoluted theories. 

Cawthon released these games FAST. He dropped FNAF 2 within months of the first game’s release, and kept up a pace of 1-2 games a year ever since. This steady output ensured the games never dropped out of public consciousness -- and introducing new puzzle pieces for the lore-hungry fans to pore over helped keep the discussion going. 

I think MatPat and The Game Theorists owe a tremendous amount of their own huge success to this game. I think Markiplier does, too, and other big streamers and YouTubers. It’s been fascinating watching the symbiotic relationship between these games and the people who make content about these games. Obviously that’s true for a lot of fandom -- but FNAF feels so special because it really did start so small. It’s a true rags-to-riches sleeper hit and luck absolutely played a role in its growth, but skill is a big part too. 

Take-Aways For Creatives 

I want to be very clear here: I do not think that every piece of media needs to be “IP,” franchisable, an extended universe, or a multimedia sensation. I think there is plenty to be said for creating art of all types, and sometimes that means a standalone story with a small audience. 

But if you do want a chance at real break-out, run-away success and forging a media empire of your own, I think there are some take-aways to be learned from the success of FNAF: 

Persistence. Scott Cawthon studied animation and game-design in the 1990s and released his first game in 2002. He released a bunch of stuff afterward. None of it stuck. It took 12 years to hit on the winning formula, and then another several years of incredibly hard work to push out more titles and stoke the fires before it really became a sensation. Wherever you’re at on your creative journey, don’t give up. You never know when your next thing will be The Thing that breaks you out. 

If you want to sell a lot of something, you have to make it widely appealing to a bunch of people. This means keeping your concept simple to understand (”security guard wards off creepy killer animatronics at a pizza parlor”) and appealing to as wide a segment of the market as you can (ie, a horror story that appeals to both kids and adults). The more hyper-specific your audience, the harder it’s gonna be to find them and the fewer copies of your thing you’ll be selling. 

Know your shit and put your best work out there. I think there’s an impulse to feel like “well, nobody reads this anyway, so why does it matter if it’s no good” (I certainly have fallen into that on multiple occasions) but that’s the wrong way to think about it. You never know when and where your break will come. Put your best work out there and keep on polishing your craft with better and better stuff because eventually one of those things you chuck out there is going to be The Thing. 

Figure out where your target audience hangs out, and who influences them, and then get your thing in the hands of those influencers. Streaming and YouTube were the secret to FNAF’s success. Maybe yours will be BookTube, or Instagram, or a secret cabal of free librarians. I don’t know. But you should try your best to figure out who would like the thing that you’re making, and then figure out how to reach those people, and put all of your energy into that instead of shotgun-blasting your marketing all willy nilly. 

You don’t have to put the whole story on the page. Audiences love puzzles. Fans love mysteries. You can actually leave a lot more unanswered than you think. There’s some value in keeping secrets and leaving things for others to fill in. Remember -- your art is only partly yours. The sandbox belongs to others to play in, too, and you have to let them do that. 

If in doubt, appealing to furries never hurts. 

Do I take all of this advice myself? Not by a long shot. But it’s definitely a lot to think about. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go beat The Curse of Dreadbear. 

[moonlit-han]

these scars for you ↠ han jisung

genre: boxer!jisung au, friends to lovers, college au, almost action? pairing: han jisung x femme reader word count: 5.2k fic warnings: description of fighting, blood, injuries, and mild concussion, suggestive, swearing, mention of assault (no description), alcohol consumption by characters of age, mild angst, oh and lots of pining and fluff request: yes a/n: well, here it is—the eagerly awaited han jisung boxer au. i hope the time jumps make sense—the whole piece goes roughly chronologically, if that’s any help. enjoy! a/n.2: found a couple typos and fixed them. sorry about that!

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

some boxing terminology (thanks, wikipedia~)

- jab: a punch in which the boxer extends their arm straight out with their palm facing the ground - uppercut: a punch thrown from below with a little swing to it—best for hitting the chin/jaw from below - hook: a punch in which the boxer holds their arm in an L  or 90o angle and rotates their body so as to land the punch while their arm comes across their body - upper-hook: a cross between an uppercut and a hook - short straight-punch: a punch executed at short range, most easily with the fist coming from the waist - knockout: when a boxer touches the mat in the ring with any other part of the body besides the feet—the referee counts to ten to give time for the boxer to stand again. if the boxer is unable to do so before the referee reaches ten, the round is ended by knockout (KO) (even if the boxer isn’t unconscious) - technical knockout: the referee or other qualified personnel decides that the boxer is not fit to safely continue due to injuries or lack of defense. also, the “three-knockdown rule”—if a boxer is knocked down thrice in a round, that is counted as a technical knockout - round: a boxing match consists of up to 12 3-minute rounds. I’ve chosen varying numbers for the matches portrayed in this fic.

↠↞

Y/N and Jisung, Jisung and Y/N. That’s how it had always been and that’s how it would always be. Jisung was sure of that much.

You were a year older than Jisung, but that hadn’t stopped you from becoming friends within fifteen minutes of meeting each other. A mere six months later, you were so close that people often thought you were siblings. As the older one, you felt well within your rights to tease Jisung as much as you wanted. You’d called him a squirrel enough times that it became a nickname for him.

You were fiercely independent and threw yourself into potentially dangerous situations with no hesitation, which Jisung thought was totally badass. And yet, Jisung insisted, absolutely insisted, on defending your honor against the wiles of other boys and then other men, saying he’d fight them. You just pushed him, saying, “I don’t need protecting, especially from a stick like you!”

The first time Jisung watched you challenge someone to a fight was in second grade (you were in third) when the most pressing issue was whether or not peanut butter should be spread on the righthand piece of bread or the lefthand piece of bread in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He’d managed to convince you that it wasn’t worth starting a fight over—“It was a duel, Jisung”—but that hadn’t stopped you from brashly challenging anyone with whom you had an issue for many years to come.

In 8th grade, you decided that you wanted to go explore a stretch of the forest behind Jisung’s grandparents’ house. For three weekends in a row, you’d shown up at his house with an overeager smile and an insatiable desire to discover whatever treasures laid in wait amongst the trees. Jisung had agreed to go with you, if only to watch your back. By now, he was used to being the sense of safety that you seemed to lack. When you’d lost your balance for a moment while crossing a stream on a fallen tree, Jisung had nearly had a heart attack. He hadn’t thought once about his own safety, just yours. Always yours.

High school was a trial for the two of you, since your parents decided to move and, consequently, you’d gone to a different school from the one Jisung would attend a year later. As he listened to you talk about how difficult the transition was and how much you missed him, Jisung soon learned that it wasn’t just physical pain he wanted to shield you from. In the middle of your senior year, your significant other had broken up with you, saying that it wouldn’t last when you both went to college. Jisung had held you as you cried, and it was then that he knew that he would do anything in his power to prevent you from crying that much ever again. 

That was also the first time he realized that he loved you.

↠↞

“Hey, Y/N!” someone called from behind you. 

You turned round just in time to register a volleyball sailing down through the air, coming straight for your head. The next thing you knew, you were laying on the ground with the wind knocked out of you and your head throbbing. Closing your eyes for a moment, you enjoyed the relief the darkness offered.

A hand shook your shoulder and you heard distantly, as if through water or layers and layers of wool, the sound of a voice calling your name. You knew that voice—it was . . . it was . . . 

You struggled to latch onto the sound and push through the darkness that threatened to pull you down.

“Y/N! Come on, wake up. Please,” the voice begged and you felt familiar arms wrap around you.

You slowly opened your eyes and looked up into the face of you knew better than your own. Jisung had a split lip and a black eye, with blood running down his chin. It looked like he was about to cry.

Jisung sighed and pulled you to his chest when he saw that you were, indeed, awake. You were a bit startled, but he held you so gently, cradling your tender head, that you didn’t mind. 

“Oh, thank god,” Jisung breathed. “You’re okay.”

You searched for words for a moment, then said groggily, “Coursemokay.” Despite what you wanted it to do, your head lolled backward—it was a bit disturbing to have your body slightly out of your control. Jisung immediately supported your head, shaking his own as if in disbelief. After a moment, he seemed to gather himself.

“Y/N, you idiot,” Jisung grumbled. “Why did you do that? You knew he’d come after you! Seriously, don’t scare me like that.” Jisung almost seemed to be begging.

“I had to—he was bothering Lily,” you managed to say, glad to be regaining the ability to speak. Had you been knocked out?

“But you didn’t have to go punch that fucker!”

“Yeah, but he stopped bothering Lily,” you said, clearly finding some comfort in the repetition of her name. You tried to sit up, but Jisung just held you partially reclined against his chest. “Is she still okay?”

“She’s fine, but you’re not.” Jisung raked a hand through his hair. “Fucking hell, Y/N, he intentionally knocked you out. The monitor’s furious—I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets expelled. It would serve him right, after what he tried to do,” he finished darkly.

You just stared up at Jisung for a long time, taking in the familiar lines of his face that were now more pronounced than when he was younger. It was as if the world had hardened him somehow, but it made him look sleek like marble instead of weathered.

“But how did you get a split lip?”

“Don’t worry about,” Jisung tried laughed, but it sounded forced to you.

“Jisung.”

“What else was I supposed to do?” he exclaimed and tears began to run down his face. “I have to protect you. You’re all I’ve got!”

You didn’t know what to say. It was as if time had stopped but you were still spinning through space, a comet destined for impact on a new planet of understanding. You felt wetness on your face and realized that Jisung’s tears were falling onto your cheeks, as if you were crying, too. 

You’re all I’ve got. What did he . . . 

Just then, the field monitor came over and all thoughts fled your mind. 

“What happened here?” he said sternly as he approached. “Why is L/N on the ground? Han, explain.”

Jisung gulped and then launched into a rambling explanation of the events that led to that moment. The monitor looked shocked when Jisung accused the boys’ volleyball team captain of attempted assault on a member of the girls’ volleyball team. Of course, Jisung was proud when you’d confronted the guy, threatening him with physical violence yourself and the prospect of exposure. Granted, Jisung had been worried when you told him that you’d punched someone nearly twice your size (but not too worried). The important thing was that you’d defended someone and saved them from harm.

When Jisung said that the captain had then thrown a ball directly at your head from close range, the monitor almost screeched.

“You’re telling me that another student deliberately sought and succeeded in harming Miss L/N?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly it. What’s so unclear about it?” Jisung was incredulous. You tried to move to lightly shove him, but your coordination was still suspect. Jisung smoothed your hair with shaking hands, and helped you sit up a bit.

After taking a deep breath, the monitor knelt. “You’re right, Han, there’s nothing unclear about this situation.”

The captain of the boys’ volleyball team was expelled shortly thereafter.

The very next week, at the young age of seventeen, Han Jisung decided to learn how to box so he could better protect you from anything that came your way.

↠↞

The roar of the crowd was like nothing else Jisung had ever experienced. People screamed encouragement, jeers, threats, and love confessions from the bleachers surrounding the boxing ring in which he and his opponent would soon face off. He’d known it would be loud, but not this loud. This was Jisung’s first official match outside of practice, and even though he knew he was more than prepared with Changbin as his teacher, Jisung still felt a little nervous. After all, he was only eighteen years old. 

“You’ve got this, Ji,” Changbin said, patting Jisung’s shoulder as they waited for the referee’s signal to mount the platform. “Just remember what we planned. You’re quick and smaller than him, which gives you something to work with. You can come in under his reach more easily. You’re gonna be fine, I promise.”

“Yeah, okay,” Jisung muttered, trying to tear his eyes away from the man who’d just walked over to the other side of the ring. His opponent had on the customary red shorts to mark him as a higher rank than Jisung, who wore blue. The guy had even dyed his hair red, as if to say that no one was better than him.

“Just breathe—it’s only going to be eight rounds,” Changbin continued. “You’ve gone fifteen with Dan and still won, so this guy’s nothing to worry about. Plus, you’ve got Felix as your second.”

He was about to respond, but the referee motioned to both boxers to enter the ring. Jisung made sure the straps on his gloves were secure, set his shoulders, and took a deep breath. And, he thought of you. After all, you were everything he was fighting for.

↠↞

Jisung collapsed back onto the couch in your apartment, absolutely exhausted. You were in the other room getting your books to study, and all Jisung wanted was to rest. It was a Thursday, after all, and he didn’t have classes on Fridays. His phone vibrated with a text.

bro: hey, great job at practice today! make sure to ice and let me know if you need anything before tomorrow’s match jisung: thanks. i’ll be fine changbin. gotta go—i’m at y/n’s rn bro: have fun 😉

Jisung ignored that last text, since Changbin knew full well that there could never be anything between him and you. Ever since you’d gone off to college, you’d made it clear that there was only one man for you, and his name was Lee Minho. Damn, that bastard. Jisung just really wanted to punch him. 

That didn’t stop Jisung from harboring tender feelings for you, though. Now that Jisung was also in college, and at the same one as you, he’d been determined to stick to your side like a burr. Minho had commented on this just once before you’d shut him down, explaining that Jisung was like a brother to you and that Minho had nothing to worry about. Minho, though, was not convinced and watched Jisung like a hawk anytime he was around.

“Fuck this!” you yelled, coming out of your bedroom. “I’m done, so done.”

“You good, Y/N?” Jisung said warily.

You flopped down on the couch next to him. “I’ll be fine,” you grumbled. “I just can’t study tonight.”

Jisung perked up at that. “So,” he drawled, “movie night?”

“God, please,” you begged, holding your head in your hands. “I just need something mindless. Were you just at the gym?” You’d clearly noticed that Jisung’s hair was wet and he was wearing his usual I-can’t-be-bothered-to-pick-out-an-outfit outfit of jeans and a sleeveless shirt. Since when did your little squirrel have biceps that nice?

“Yeah.” He ruffled your hair as he stood up. “Do you still have that cider I brought over last weekend?” Jisung called, heading into the kitchen. 

“It’s in the fridge, right where you left it. Get me some popcorn, too!”

Jisung rummaged in the refrigerator as you, presumably, began to scroll through your choices of shows and movies. A few minutes later, Jisung came back with popcorn, water, and the hard cider. 

“Are you okay with watching a sappy drama?” you asked as he sat down again. 

“Depends on which one,” Jisung answered, looking suspiciously over at you.

“Soooo, does that mean we can watch Miss Panda and Mr. Hedgehog?”

“Oh god, no. No, no!!” Jisung exclaimed, taking the remote from your hands. “It’s too sappy! Plus, I’ll just crave more sweets after watching it.”

“I mean, they’re baking in it, so it makes sense,” you said, reaching across his chest to grab for the remote. “Are you sure we can’t watch it?”

Jisung just held the remote out of your reach above his head. “Nope.”

“Pleeeeease.” You were whining now, not caring if you sounded like a five year-old. Jisung leaned away from you, still holding the remote out of reach. You stood up, pushed the coffee table back, and put your hands on your hips. “Han Jisung, could you please give me the remote?”

“Eh,” Jisung said, grinning, “don’t think so. This is more fun.”

You lunged forward then, and Jisung had to lean backward out of the way. With his arm thrown back over his shoulder and you standing in front of him, there wasn’t much he could do. Plus, he was trying not to notice the neckline of your tank top as it was directly in front of his face. He tried lightly kicking your ankles, but you didn’t move. You grabbed at the remote, still leaning over him, but Jisung managed to pass it back and forth between his hands. Finally, you stood back, crossing your arms. Jisung let out a sigh of relief—that had been a tense few moments. 

“Jisung,” you wheedled, “please? I just want to relax!”

“I do, too!” Jisung wasn’t quite annoyed, but he was getting there. He rested his arms behind his head, waving the remote lazily from side to side. “Let’s just watch something a little less fluffy than Miss Panda and Mr. Hedgehog, okay?”

You pouted. Jisung pouted right back at you, making you giggle. Ah, victory. 

Then, you lunged forward again and caught both of his wrists. Holding them together above his head, you shook his hands so he’d let go of the remote. Jisung decided to give in, even though he could have easily broken your hold. 

“Damn, Y/N. I wouldn’t want to fight you. You’re pretty feisty,” he said, as if he didn’t already know that from years of bailing you out of fights. He looked up into your face—your cheeks were a little flushed.

You just glared down at him, still holding his wrists above his head. “I’ll make you a deal,” you said. “I’ll watch whatever you want to if we can watch three episodes of Miss Panda and Mr. Hedgehog.”

“Sure,” Jisung said, realizing belatedly that his breath was coming a bit faster than normal.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You let go of his wrists, which his shook a little for effect, then went to retrieve the remote from behind the sofa. 

Is it weird that was a total turn on? Jisung thought, running a hand through his hair. Fucking hell.

↠↞

“Minho, really. What the hell?” you demanded of your boyfriend.

“Y/N, if you’re going to moon over Jisung at every opportunity, I don’t think we should date anymore,” Minho said flatly.

“I don’t moon! He’s my best friend!”

“Whatever, Y/N, you do. I think you should reevaluate your feelings and priorities. In the meantime, I’m going. You’re wonderful and I loved you, but I can’t stay anymore. I wish you the best, Y/N.” 

With that, Lee Minho walked out the door of your apartment, closing it carefully behind himself. You stood there, staring blankly at the door.

Reevaluate my feelings and priorities? you thought. What exactly—

A knock on your apartment door jolted you out of your reverie. “Come in,” you called, knowing it was probably Jisung. It was.

“Where was Minho going?” he asked immediately. “He didn’t look happy. Did you two have a fight?”

“He just broke up with me, Jisung,” you said, unable to muster any emotion. You’d had a feeling that your relationship was coming to an end, but you hadn’t expected Minho to just walk out like that. You sighed.

“What?” Jisung burst out. “He just straight-up left you? What the fuck?”

“He said I needed to reevaluate my feelings and priorities. That was it.”

Jisung strode forward and enveloped you in a hug, ignoring your protests and wiggling. Finally, you stopped and put your arms around your best friend, leaning your head on his chest. You could hear his heart pounding. And then, it was like something inside you broke at the feeling of warm, protective arms around you. 

You started to cry. Jisung just held you, gently rubbing your back and telling you that everything would okay. Eventually, when you’d cried yourself into hiccups, Jisung let go of you. 

“Y/N,” he began, his voice low. “Don’t think about Minho. You had a good time while it lasted, but it’s done now. I don’t think he’ll be coming back.” He wiped the last remaining tears from your face, and, like an annoyed cat, you wrinkled your nose at being touched. “Let’s go get some dinner and then watch whatever sappy drama you’re into now, okay?”

You nodded your head as Jisung guided you to the couch to sit down. “Here,” he said gently, “let me get you some water and then we’ll go.”

As you sat there, sniffing occasionally, you thought of just how lucky you were to have Jisung in your life. Even though you teased him and had, when you were younger, pushed him around, he really was ever-present in your life. And, he’d always protected you and stood up for you. Why couldn’t have Minho been like that?

↠↞

A month later, you stopped by Jisung and Felix’s apartment for your usual gaming and movie night. Felix let you in, sunny as ever, and you made a beeline for the bathroom. You’d been there so many times that you didn’t exactly need to observe the usual niceties.

Taking out your earbuds, you opened the door and—

There before your eyes was Jisung. But this was not Jisung as you usually saw him. 

No, this was a very wet and very naked Han Jisung getting out of the shower.

Holy fuck.

You hurriedly slammed the door, but not before he realized that you’d seen him.

Your face beet-red, you practically sprinted back down the hall to the living room and Felix. “Why didn’t you tell me he was in the shower?” you all but yelled. 

“I didn’t know!” Felix said. Seeing your face, he burst out laughing. “You walked in on him, didn’t you.”

“Fucking hell, Felix. What do you think?”

Felix just continued to laugh.

With your mind racing faster than a bullet train, you sat down on the familiar couch. 

Well, you thought, I now know more about Jisung than I ever thought I would. Not that you were complaining, though. The mental picture of your best friend flashed—and stuck—before your eyes: abs for days, toned pecs, muscular legs, biceps that looked like ripe peaches, and . . . yeah. Nice. All very . . . nice. You hoped your mental math was correct.

But what about all those bruises on his chest and stomach? you wondered. They aren’t hickeys, that’s for sure. And were those scars? How the hell did he get those? You couldn’t figure it out.

After a few minutes, Jisung came out of his bedroom, toweling his hair dry. You tried not to stare at his arms. What the hell was going on? Get it together, Y/N, you told yourself.

“J— Jisung?” you began, stammering in your embarrassment.

“Yeah?” he said, completely casual as he leaned back in a chair. 

“Um, sorry I walked in on you. But, what were all those bruises? And the scars?”

In the kitchen, Felix stopped what he was doing to listen.

Jisung sighed and let the front legs of his chair fall to the ground again. He looked like what he was about to say would be, somehow, painful. “Don’t bite my head off, Y/N, okay?” he said.

“Why would I—” you began, but Jisung interrupted you.

“You’ll understand.” He took a deep breath. “I’m a boxer. I’ve been boxing since senior year of high school, with Changbin teaching me, and now I’m even in tournaments. I’ve even won a few. Remember when you got hit in the head by that volleyball? I started right after that. I started because I wanted to be able to protect you.

“All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you, Y/N. It also happened to be fun. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to laugh at me or tell me to stop because you thought you could stand up for yourself with no problem. I know you can, but I wanted to be able to be there for you, too. So, here I am: a boxer.”

You stared at Jisung. A boxer? You weren’t quite sure what to say, but Jisung gave you a minute to process. You could see him trying to read your expression.

“So, when will you take me to a match?” you said eventually.

Jisung spluttered. “What? No! Hell no, Y/N. It’s loud and some of the fans are kind of crazy, and I just don’t think you’d like it.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” you said firmly. “When’s your next match?”

↠↞

You walked into the gymnasium in which the boxing matches were held and were immediately surprised. High in the seats, someone had a banner with J.One written on it. Jisung had told you that was what he went by in the boxing world. You looked around, following Felix to just behind where he and the rest of Jisung’s group would sit side-ring. Taking a seat, you noticed the first aid stations, the ropes, everything.

After what seemed like forever, the crowd roared as Jisung and his opponent for the night, Luke, came into the venue. You cheered along with everyone else, and were surprised that your best friend had this much of a following. He was pretty cool in his red shorts. Yet again, you found yourself trying not to stare at his muscles, but it was so hard not to when they were just there for all to see.

The match was to be a full twelve rounds. At the start of the first round, you leaned forward in your seat, trying to catch exactly what Jisung was doing and planning. Round after round went on, flying by quicker than you could’ve imagined. By Round Seven, you were on your feet, hands over your mouth. It was a close match.

↠↞

Jisung climbed the three stairs up to the platform and ducked under the ropes. This was it. His first match with you watching. He could do you and Changbin proud.

The bell rang and Jisung squared off against his opponent. He’d read up on the man, and knew that he should be okay if he kept moving. Jisung darted around the ring for the first minute, occasionally landing a punch here and there. His opponent jeered, calling him “milksop” and “green bastard,” but Jisung didn’t let that phase him. He was young but he’s wasn’t green anymore. By minute three, the other man was tiring from always being on the offensive, his obvious cockiness and, perhaps, anger getting the better of him. One arm was even drooping. How was this guy even any good? Jisung thought. 

Then, Jisung circled round to the side and took his opponent’s momentary lapse in readiness as an opportunity to land two blows on the man’s exposed shoulder, jarring the muscles. This would slow the man down even more. However, Jisung misjudged the strength the man had and, seconds later, ended up on the ground with the referee beginning the count of ten. He’d received two quick punches to the gut and one to chin—how he hadn’t been able to defend himself, he couldn’t guess—and was now quite unable to stand. 

“Knockout! End of round,” the referee shouted, and the crowd cheered. 

After a moment, Jisung struggled to his feet, cursing himself for a fool. He’d been tricked by one of the oldest ploys in the book: act weak and come out strong. As he hung on the ropes, Changbin passed water up to him and Jisung took a few sips, wiping his brow.

“So,” Changbin said casually, “did you figure out what went wrong?”

“Fuck, Changbin, of course I did. He got me when I thought he wasn’t strong enough to.”

“Just because Y/N’s here, doesn’t mean you can’t lose, Jisung. Focus. Don’t misjudge your opponent—there’s almost always a little something you don’t know, even if you’ve studied everything you can about them.” The beep signaling thirty seconds until Round Two sounded, and Changbin took back the water bottle. “Don’t worry about it—everyone goes down hard sometimes, you know that. Now go out there and prove you’re the damn good boxer I know you are.”

Jisung donned his gloves again, then stepped into his corner of the ring. His opponent leered at him. Did this guy never let up?

Still bobbing and weaving when necessary, he waited. The bell rang to signal the end of Round Five with both men still standing. They’d traded blows back and forth and Jisung was one round behind his opponent.

The bell rang for the start of the twelfth and final round, and Jisung tried to watch the other man with new eyes. Was he slower on his right side that his left? Was that just a birthmark or an old bruise? Could he really not bounce off the ropes as well as expected?

Yes. Jisung was certain of it all now.

His opponent went to jab, but Jisung blocked the punch and executed an uppercut to the other man’s chin. While he was still in close, Jisung followed this up with a short straight-punch to the ribs, where a bad bruise was clearly fading, and a hook to the side of the jaw. The other man was now disoriented and Jisung easily landed punch after punch, ending Round Twelve with a strong upper-hook. The referee counted ten as the bragging, red-haired man lay on the ground, Jisung watching from his corner of the ring. 

“Knockout! End of round!” 

Jisung slumped against the ropes, catching his breath. Blood ran down his chin from what was probably a tooth knocked out. His ribs hurt like fire, too. Taking another deep breath, he made his way off the platform. Changbin was there immediately with a towel and water.

“I think you’ve won, man!” he said excitedly. “You landed more accurate punches than that punch-out.”

“We’ll see,” Jisung conceded. Then, he tried laugh but his ribs hurt too much. “Turns out he could talk better than he could punch.”

Changbin smiled, patting Jisung on the back, and led him over to a chair. The fight doctor came over and started to examine Jisung. The judges deliberated for a few minutes, then came to their decision. Changbin had been right. Jisung managed to land more accurate punches than his opponent, which meant that, even though he’d been knocked out in the first round, he still had more points to his name. 

Jisung had won. He grinned, and turned round to face you.

↠↞

Jisung turned his blood-covered face up to you when the judges announced his victory. Changbin and Felix were motioning for you to come down to the floor, too. You were beaming, not daring to believe the excitement and flutters of your heart.

You reached your best friend and, completely disregarding the orders of the fight doctor, swung you up into his arms. In no way did you care that your clothes were now covered in sweat, water, and blood because you were Jisung, and that’s all that mattered. You carefully hugged Jisung back, then he drew back slightly and smirked. 

“See? I can fight,” he said. 

“Yeah? Hmm, I guess you’re all right,” you laughed. 

“Good,” Jisung murmured, then leaned in and caught your lips with his. You froze for a moment. When your mind caught up with reality, you kissed him back. You felt your insides fill with elation and what felt like sunlight, even as you tasted the faint traces of blood on Jisung’s lip. All of this felt right: you, Jisung, and some sort of fight happening. But now, you could add kisses to that list—a necessary addition, you thought with a smile. After all, you and Jisung against all odds was how it’d always been and always would be. 

[writing-with-olive]

Shelving a WIP

(Alt title: I just shelved a WIP I've been working on for almost three years, and I learned some valuable things from the process so ima share them).

Disclaimer that I'm a writer that works on pretty much one WIP at any given time, and if it's two, one of the WIPs are going to be in the brainstorming/worldbuilding stages at a maximum. The things I've learned are from that perspective, and there might be aspects that are different if you have multiple WIPs, some of them more dormant than others.

1 - It's gonna be okay.

I'm starting out with this one because I've always found it terrifying when I see other people shelving their work, because if the people who have experience are doing it, I might do this, and how could I ever give up on this book baby I'm putting so much time and effort and love into? And yeah. That's scary. But once you've outgrown a work, sometimes the best thing you can do is to move onto new things. It doesn't negate all the hard work you've put in, and it certainly doesn't make you a faker. Remember - almost everyone who's established themselves as an author has shelved works, and they've still made it.

(how to shelve a project, and more detailed stuff below the cut)

2 - How to know when it's time to shelve a WIP

This can vary a lot, but there's three major reasons that have occurred with the works I've shelved (three, all of which I'd worked on for at least six months, many more that had shorter life spans).

The first is a lack of interest. If working on a WIP starts to consistently feel like a chore, and I'm having a harder and harder time feeling for the characters and the world, something's not right. Sometimes this can come from burnout from other aspects of life, but sometimes it's just that I lost passion in the work. Writing's supposed to be fun, and once it's not, it's time to figure out what's up, and sometimes that means trying something new.

Another reason is just outgrowing a work. As I'm writing, the concepts and the story start to feel more juvenile. Some of this can be fixed with editing, but some of it’s baked into the bones of the story. Working it out would mean completely changing the story. Eventually continuing a work feels like being trapped in a younger version of yourself rather than pushing forward.

The final reason (and it can be kinda devastating so I have a section on this farther down) is the realization that a story is not going to help you achieve your writing goals, or worse, will even hinder them. This one won't be as applicable to everyone as the other two as everyone's writing goals vary, but if your goal is to eventually get published/make a job as an author, you may be confronted with this.

3 - How to shelve a work if you've lost interest or outgrown it

The thing about both of these scenarios is that it's a slow progression. If you've identified that you're declining in your attachment to it, you're probably approaching the ability to set it aside and move onto other projects.

One of the first steps is evaluate what is making you stick with it. If you haven't yet shelved it, there's bound to be a reason. Sometimes it's one that holds a lot of merit, and may constitute just taking a break, or in some cases pushing through. Other times, it's not really a great reason, and coming to terms with that is an emotional step to put the work aside.

If you can't bring yourself to move on because it feels like quitting, even though it feels like it's the best decision, find a goal to work toward. That goal will be something much smaller than publishing the work, but it will still help give a sense of completeness. For example, finishing the draft, or even just the act you're on. Sometimes, seeing an end point can be detaching enough that you just... shelve it. Other times, you get to the end point, and decide: is this the end for the WIP, or have I regained enough interest that I actually want to go farther? Both are equally good decisions.

I have found that it's often like a sudden decision that comes after a long period of questioning. I might go for weeks thinking should I or should I not? Over and over and over. Then one day, I just decide to stop working on it, and that's that. It's just the moment when the last of my active emotional attachment finally dissolves.

4 - How to shelve a work when you realize it's not going to help you achieve your goals

This was the situation I was in when I shelved my no-longer-current WIP, which I intended to traditionally publish. It was a sort of assassin-y story and there were elements of it that were loosely based off of Natasha Romanoff's story (Marvel), though not enough by any stretch that it could be considered fanfic. Then the Black Widow movie came out, and apparently Marvel had the exact same idea I had, and suddenly, it looked like my story was a huge rip-off of that one. As it was, huge swaths of the story overlapped. All of this meant that not only was publishing my WIP a long shot because it was a YA sci-fi, but also it was competing with the mega-company that is Marvel/Disney. The chances of even getting an agent plummeted, and then there was the fact that if I did get one, and I got published, I would be basically throwing away my debut because of diminishing returns, and because anyone who read my book would also be in the target audience for Marvel, and would almost certainly see the similarities and write my story off for a rip-off. Not a great situation to be in.

So the first thing to do? Give yourself permission to feel all the big emotions that come with this kind of heartbreak. It hurts really bad, and it's okay to experience that.

Next thing. Evaluate. Is this it for the story, or is there anything else you can do with it? I can't publish it as a book, but there's nothing stopping me from posting it online and still sharing it with people.

Figure out what the end point is going to be. It could be finishing the story even though it doesn't accomplish what you originally set out to do (though this is something to do if it will genuinely bring you joy, not because you feel like it's something you owe). It could be doing something like the other scenario and finding a more artificial "finish point" to still get a sense of closure and accomplishment from the WIP.

5 - The freedom that comes from shelving a work

The obvious thing is that if you weren't enjoying what you weren't enjoying what you were writing before, you're done!

Shelving a work is an open space to work on whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy, you can do it. The starting stages of a WIP are always the most exhilarating, and this is where we all return whenever we pick up a new project.

Another thing. No matter what, you've learned something new over the course of your last project. Maybe it was a ton (that was the case for me - I am a completely different writer than I was before I started it), maybe it was one aspect of character or structure or voice. But you get to go into your next project with that new knowledge.

[mikaze-discord]

Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon: 

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE 

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda: 

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt: 

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

[wishingicouldfly]

I've been actively blogging for more than six months, even though I've had a tumblr account for ten years. I started reading One Direction (specifically Larry) fanfiction about the same time.

Originally, I read exclusively canon compliant fiction--I was hungry for industry insider, what-could-have-happened narratives. But I've slowly branched out into other genres. I find fanfic--good fanfic--super calming. When I've had too much stunting, too much noise, I grab a fanfic and immerse myself. So I thought it was time to do a post about my favorites. Keep in mind, I'm terrible at cataloging, and I have over 150 bookmarks on my A03 Account, so this is by no means an exhaustive list.

I'm not including the classics like Tired, Tired Sea and Escapade. While I do love both of those (so well written), because a lot of people know about those already.

My all time favorites are by @helloamhere

1. The Multipicity of Powers - https://archiveofourown.org/works/28580229

Maybe in another universe he isn’t different. Maybe he hadn’t been given an impossible choice. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost everything and broken everything and then fallen impossibly, irrevocably in love with the first next thing that was kind. Maybe in that universe he doesn’t feel like he’s never breathing, always pretending, teaching the kids even though they all have to learn alone, trying hard not to read the headlines, and so afraid, every day, that he won’t be a good enough teammate to the superhero he can’t live without. He knows that love isn’t supposed to feel this way, slid secret under your skin like a surgical razor, an invisible war held close over the tender vein that keeps you alive. On the other hand, Louis wonders, had he ever known how to do it any other way?

Maybe there’s a universe where he doesn’t have to keep all his secrets on the inside.

But this isn’t that universe.

//an X-Men AU.

Me: I never thought I'd love a super hero 1D cross over, but this is so well done. The backstory, the pacing, the characterization, the friendship. Read it.

2. Saving Symphony Hall and it's prequel Night Out - https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633921

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Me: The best sex scene I've ever read is in the prequel Night Out. Sexy, but tender. I love the characterizations in this duo--ABO but not traditional. Doesn't feel out of character.

3. Just Let Me -https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695350

The party was going well. So well, Niall had already sworn undying love to one multi-tiered chocolate cake, two friendly corgi-poodle mixes, Zayn’s hair, and the entire population of Los Angeles. So well, Zayn had only laughed and ruffled Niall’s hair and not even twitched towards a cigarette. So well, nearly everyone had spilled far past the boundaries of the night’s original plans, extracting bottles of vodka from the cabinets and losing a lot of clothes. Harry had proclaimed that he was finally going to throw a small and very grownup dinner party and of course here they were three hours later, fifty people half-naked in the pool. Soon to be full-naked, if Louis had to guess. Everybody in LA loved a heated pool. Everybody loved Harry.

Me: I love love love this. Harry is so gentle, and Louis is so stubborn and needy. It's ABO but subtle. I'll read this one again and again. It's comforting.

@HelloAmHere is one of the best writers I know--amazing stuff. I also love their werewolf story, but it's not finished, so I won't link it here.

Other favorites:

1. Seven Up by cherrystreet - https://archiveofourown.org/works/5828539

Very loosely based on the British TV show "The Up Series" and somewhat inspired by the song “Something I Need” by Onerepublic, we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded. Harry calls it a time capsule. Louis calls it a pain in the arse.

Me: Trigger Warning, major character death. I literally SOBBED through the end of this. It was lovely and devastating. So good. But be warned.

2. Light, Spark and Fire series by @greenfeelings

Life’s pretty ordinary for Harry. He lives with his best friend, got into university just like he’s planned, and manages to support himself just fine for an unbonded omega. If he sustains that lifestyle by getting paid to help alphas through their rut every now and then, that’s nothing to be hung up on. Until he’s hired by an alpha that turns everything upside down.

Or, Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

Me: A nice healthy three-parter. Characters you just want to live with for a while.

3. Relief Next to Me by dolce_piccante - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117942

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

Me: This one is super long, so be prepared when you dive in. It's got a lot of lovely bits, and some great smut.

4. 2012 'Verse by ashavahishta - https://archiveofourown.org/series/27601

Me: This is a five-parter and satisfies my love of canon compliant stories. It spans most of 2012 and into 2013, and illustrates the difficulties of Harry and Louis' relationship amid the band success and management disapproval.

5. Love After the End of the World by mercurial-madhouse (writing_practice) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/31251434/chapters/77248901

Society shattered when all electricity suddenly cut off across the globe, plunging the world into darkness. Now, Prometheus Industries is the sole remaining supply of power, a saving grace to those who survived Lights Out. As fugitives in no-man’s land struggling to break into Prometheus HQ, death lurks around every corner for Louis and Zayn. Things get complicated when a routine recon falls apart and Louis collides with Harry and his mates Niall and Liam, survivors with their own agenda.

When staying alive is already a constant battle, the deadliest weakness is to be in love. For Harry and Louis, finding each other sits on top of the endless list of What Else Could Go Wrong.

Me: Really unusual (as far as I can tell) end of the world story. I loved the characterizations of soul mates here at the end of the world.

6. Flightless Bird by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6401653/chapters/14656807

AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company's production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?

Me: Trigger Warning, sexual assault (by an original character to a major character). This was a little brutal because I hated to see a broken Harry, but it was well written and has a happy ending.

7. Wear It Like A Crown by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1816771/chapters/3900322

AU. As part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in Buckingham Palace, Louis expects Prince Harry to be a lot of things—most notably a royally spoilt brat. Never mind that the very same Prince Harry used to star in quite a number of Louis' teenage fantasies.

Me: I loved Louis in this one--actually they are both pretty great. Scratch that, they are ALL pretty great.

8. Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/3331958/chapters/7285322

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Me: I don't like the self-hate here, but it was necessary for the story and H comes around. Found family vibe.

9. Gods & Monsters by Velvetoscar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/2090982/chapters/4550871

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that's exactly what he did.

Me: I loved Harry in this one. Louis gets there. I don't like Liam, but I don't think you're supposed to. Zayn is great.

10. Own the Scars by crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1010796

Louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friend, for the life he's supposed to want. After an accident that nearly costs him his life, Louis' parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to face his demons. On the long and difficult road to recovery, Louis must confront the truths he’s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. Because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

Me: Harry is lovely in this one. Trigger warning, substance abuse and near death.

11. Wild Love by purpledaisy - https://archiveofourown.org/series/1030904

AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

Me: I loved this way more than I thought I would. It's lovely and messy and I love it.

12. Victorian Boy by audreyhheart - https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosann1986/readings?page=6

Victorian AU. Harry the virgin Duke of Somerset knows little of love, while Louis the sly Duke of Warwick knows too much. When the two dukes come together for the Bilsdale fox hunt in York, Harry finds himself drawn into Louis' bed. But when secrets from Louis' dark past come to light, Harry fears that the fox isn't the only one being hunted.

Me: Historical fiction I didn't intend to love. I LOVE Harry in this one. LOTS of smut, so be warned.

13. Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30752633

Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

What he doesn’t expect is Harry to fucking drop.

Me: lovely, protective Louis just trying to do the right thing.

14. Turning Page by purpledaisy for SockstheDog

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11826345

AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

Me: sweet love story. Niall owns a bar, and is pretty great.

15. Freedom Always Comes With a Price by Cyantific - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30278514/chapters/74624262

A shared dream brings them together onto the X-factor stage, but one decision changes Harry and Louis’ lives overnight. Thrust into a world of instant stardom, they're forced to live a lie to sustain their dreams, but years of living in the shadows and under strict management takes its toll.

With the bands impending hiatus, there’s no better time for change, so they think.

Desperate for a solution, they turn to an unlikely source with a radical plan. An unfortunate accident sets everything in motion, but not how they intended, leaving Louis’ memories altered, Harry broken-hearted and full of regret.

Can Harry figure out a way to fix everything? Will he even want to once he sees how Louis moved on after the hiatus? Will Louis ever find out the truth of their past and can he forgive Harry after all this time?

In the end, two friends find out that memories are elusive, trust is everything and love is the only antidote.

Me: Heartbreaking when they lose each other, but really good in the end.

16. Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/6025519/chapters/13821628

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

17. Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams - https://archiveofourown.org/works/30253536/chapters/74556744

Three years ago, Harry Styles said goodbye to communications consultancy firm McQuiston Worldwide, leaving a life of travel and agency PR behind. When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

Me: Niall is great. They almost miss each other in this one, and you just want to bash them over the head. But they figure it out.

18. At Risk, I Fold by clare328 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/26542480

2015 is a stream of hotel rooms and whisky on the rocks, tired glances and touching hands under tables. It’s the bears and the bees under a rainbow sky, and Harry and Louis have to figure out how to grow up together, instead of apart.

Me: A canon compliant fic that feels like it could have really happened. Set in 2015. Lovely first chapter and scene where Harry writes If I Could Fly--i could read that chapter over and over.

19. Into The Blue by zarah5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035822/chapters/2065499

AU. In which Louis is Harry's scuba instructor and quite happy to provide the requested special treatment, pun fully intended. It can't be all that difficult to convince Harry that they're on the same page, right? Also, Niall and Liam may or may not be dating, and Zayn is surrounded by emotionally stunted idiots. He bears it with dignity.

Me: AKA the Scuba fic.

20. Tie Your Heart by ArcadianMaggie - https://archiveofourown.org/works/546688/chapters/973236

Harry grows wings.

Me: How can you not love a fic where Harry grows wings? Trigger warning: injury of a major character.

21. I think I'll end this here. My last and probably first favorite (read it more than once) is...

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach - https://archiveofourown.org/works/934996/chapters/1820282

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Me: I LOVED the Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, and I'm a huge fan of time travel, so this is right up my alley. It's really well done, weaving canon into fantasy and then going years forward in tme. I love everything about it. Great character development. Really good smut. Trigger warning, there's a little underage sex, so be aware. Anyway, LOVE this one so much.

I'll add to this but it's already longer than I meant it to be.

[aomineavenue]

Homesick (Miya Atsumu x f!Reader) | 002. a mother’s nightmare

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Updates: irregular.

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc. (Will be mentioned once posted because I don’t want spoilers huehue)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: ongoing. | series masterlist

↩ the unexpected | a mother’s nightmare | no other choice  ↪

However, as the door swung open, he hadn't expected the person standing before him. His eyes widen slightly as he feels his shoulders grow tense at the abrupt appearance. "What are you doing here in Kanagawa?"

"Aw," the person before him chuckles, a soft grin playing on his lips as he steps back to pull the door wider, "I miss you too, brother."

Osamu rolls his eyes as he steps inside, "No, seriously. What are you doing here?"

"I can't believe you're here," 

You raise an eyebrow as you took a seat across from him, the soft chatter and calming music in the cafe flowed through the atmosphere, "Well, you said you wanted to catch up."

"Well, yeah..." He trails off sheepishly, "I just really hadn't expected it. Our last meeting only made it seem you were avoiding such conversation."

"You're right. I was, I kind of still am." You answer truthfully, "You have my friend to thank. Something about facing my demons one by one. It has been six years." 

He nods, a small smile on his lips as he spoke. "I suppose I should thank your friend then. Why don't we order something before anything else?"

Osamu stares sadly at the recent text you had sent to him, declining his offer to meet up once again, claiming that you were busy throughout the following week. He didn't want to doubt or push you, it didn't seem like you were pushing him away or anything either, but he still wanted to spend time with you. Only because the last time the two of you had met to catch up with each other, something was bothering him. He didn't know what, but the conversation the two of you shared in the cafe seemed as if you were being cautious with the information you shared. He couldn't blame you. It was going to take awhile before you could open up to him.

He enters the apartment complex that he was directed to by the address given to him, not bothering to scan his surroundings. He didn't know why he was here in the first place. Well, it wasn't as if he had anything better to do in the meantime anyway with his shop still under construction. He had officially made the decision to open his business up in the heart of Kanagawa just weeks ago, he wasn't going to admit it to anyone, but his encounter with you had prompted such a decision. Hence, he had been quite busy himself.

Stepping out of the elevator, he walks down the path towards his destination, stopping at a door with a golden plate with the numbers '210' engraved on it simply, nailed to its wooden structure. He brings a hand up and presses his knuckles against the wooden door before knocking on it gently at least three times to signal the owner of his arrival.

However, as the door swung open, he hadn't expected the person standing before him. His eyes widen slightly as he feels his shoulders grow tense at the abrupt appearance. "What are you doing here in Kanagawa?" 

"Aw," the person before him chuckles, a soft grin playing on his lips as he steps back to pull the door wider, "I miss you too, brother."

Osamu rolls his eyes as he steps inside, "No, seriously. What are you doing here?" 

Atsumu closes the door behind him before following his brother into the vast apartment, Bokuto coming into their line of sight who was sprawled comfortably on one of the couches in the living room, eyes focused on the show being projected from the flat screen television across the room, "We're using the Sports Complex here for our training the next couple of months, I figured it would be better for me to stay here instead of going back and forth between Hyōgo and here, plus coach's apartment is closer to the complex anyway." 

"And you didn't bother to share this information before you invited me over?" Osamu questions Bokuto directly who waves him off with a laugh as he says, "He said he wanted it to be a surprise." 

Osamu lets out a grunt of displeasure at Bokuto's response before plopping himself down next to him, his brows arched in curiosity as he looks around, "And what about the squirt and Sakusa? Will they be staying here with you guys? This place looks pretty big."

"Shoyo's coming over tomorrow," Bokuto shrugs his shoulders, picking up a piece of chip with his fingers from the bag of potato chips in his grasp, "Oomi on the other hand refuses to stay with us because of Atsumu's ‘unhygienic habits’, so he had decided to book a hotel room a few blocks from here." 

Atsumu huffs, running his fingers through his hair as he juts his lower lip into a pout, "I'm clean!" 

"Sakusa probably detest the fact you leave your dirty clothes everywhere," Osamu lets out a laugh, "So how've you been, Bo? I know you've been here the last couple of weeks."

Atsumu huffs, "I'm pretty upset you hadn't met with Bo when I told you, we would have met sooner." 

"I've been busy," Osamu shrugs before he snaps his full attention on his brother at the realization of what his twin was implying, "Wait, you've been here since then?"

"Yeah I have," Atsumu snorts, "Been staying over here with Bokuto, doing some extra training. He actually introduced me to these amazing kids! Reminds me of us, 'Samu when we were younger."

His brother tilts his head to the side, "Kids? You? That's cool, I guess. How do you guys have time to train some little kids while you have your own training?" 

Bokuto nods, "I mean it can be like extra training. I wouldn't want to disappoint them, really. Apparently, I'm the Great Uncle Bo who's the best in volleyball."

Atsumu watches his teammate plaster on a little grin and he couldn't help but let his own smile form at his friend's enthusiasm. "Well, it's only because you bribe them with food. Little Hiro is slowly warming up to me, just you wait, he'll adore me more." He teases.

Bokuto only rolls his eyes at him before glancing over to the wall clock nailed above the television, his eyes widening before scampering around the apartment to grab the things he needed, silently beating himself up for forgetting as the other two watched with amused curiosity. "I'll see you guys later!" 

The twins could only watch their friend move frantically around the room, "Why are you in such a hurry?" 

"I forgot I'm picking up the kids today for training." He huffs, a soft grumble leaving his lips after, "I'll see you guys later." 

"Oi! I should join you picking them up then! Why would Shizuma even ask you?" Atsumu protests, stalking after Bokuto, "This isn't fair. You just want to continue being the favorite uncle." 

Before Atsumu could tackle Bokuto to the ground to stop him, he slams the front door shut right in Atsumu's face. Osamu chuckles at the sight, "Who would have thought you would like kids? What's so important that you have to get those kids to like you anyway?" 

Atsumu walks back into the living room with a pout, "They told me Bo was cooler! It isn't fair, I've been so much cooler to them than he has." 

"Seriously, are my ears deceiving me or are you implying that these kids were enough to crush your pride?" Osamu teases, a small grin playing on his lips. "But really, tell me the truth. I know you. Why are you staying in Kanagawa?" He watches Atsumu shrug, keeping his gaze away from his, "Ah, let me guess? Yumi then? You're avoiding her?" 

Atsumu lets out a groan, "Lately she's been just so clingy and suffocating. It's not like we made things official or anything. I told her myself that I wasn't interested in that kind of relationship."

"I told you not to get involved with her," he chastised, "A few of my friends said she was toxic and yet what did you do?" 

Atsumu can only scoff, "Whatever, she'll go away eventually."

The two brothers continued to converse with each other as if they haven't seen the other in months when it had only been a few weeks since Osamu ventured to Kanagawa for his business scouting purposes. Eventually, Atsumu claimed it was probably time for him to head over to the Sports Complex since Bokuto was probably on the way from picking up the kids he shared to Osamu that he had grown fond of. 

Osamu watches his brother head towards the front door with his gym bag, a million thoughts swimming through his head. You. Should he come clean to Atsumu about reconnecting with you? 

He wasn't dumb, he knew how his brother had come to the conclusion of his true feelings for you ever since you decided to disappear, not that his brother would admit it to anyone, he did know his brother better, probably knew of it before his idiot brother came to realize. He knew what his brother felt since you disappeared. Anger. Regret. He knows that once you had disappeared that his brother had been beating himself up but at the same time he had learned to resent you for leaving him behind, not that Osamu would tell his brother off that if he were to be angry with anyone, it should be at himself for being so blind to your feelings for him. He didn't want to pour more salt to freshly exposed wounds at the time.

Despite you walking out on his brother had caused a drastic change in how Atsumu lived his life, he knows that somehow, deep down, Atsumu will always hold you dear to his heart, not that he would also admit to such, only spewing his distaste for you ever since you had left. He knew otherwise. Of course, a part of him wants to come clean to his brother, but a part of him also wanted to earn your trust first. He remembers how as much as the two of you shared memories created the past six years, you had avoided any formed conversation regarding his twin brother. He was torn.

"Hey 'Tsumu," Osamu calls out just as his brother was about to leave the apartment. Atsumu glances over his shoulders to look at his brother in curiosity. Osamu sighs with a shake of his head, "Ah..."

The last two weeks felt emotional, yet weird for you. The twins started their training with their new favorite Uncle Bokuto, as they so put it much to Asuma and Reiji's dismay. You, as much as the rest of your friends, including Bokuto, were just as shocked when the twins had started calling him 'the great Uncle Bo', of course, you were quick to protest to the twins that Bokuto probably didn't want them to call him such, but with a grinning Bokuto, he quickly claims he didn't mind, repeating the name the twins call him as if it were a term of endearment. You had questioned the twins what had brought on the idea of calling Bokuto their 'great Uncle Bo' and Hiro simply responded with a "because Uncles are cool and he's the coolest so far!". Needless to say, since then, a competition for the Best Uncle title between Uncles had commenced.

The past two weeks since their training had started, the twins seemed to wake up earlier than usual, it was as if they had more energy than they usually had, often barging into your room to wake you up and pestered you to make breakfast before their Uncle Shizuma, who had volunteered to join their training to watch over them, picks them up half an hour early for their training with Uncle Bo and his friend who Bokuto promises to introduce once everyone's schedules were flexible.

However, as the holiday season for Galaxy Standard was fast approaching its end, you were far too busy to accompany their training sessions or even agree to a get together with any of the boys. Luckily, you had an assistant manager to help you around. It was finally a brand new season for the boys to go on tour, and setting up everything was a handful. You barely had any time for yourself.

Before your busy schedule had taken over your life, you were able to reconnect with Osamu at least once like Asuma had suggested. It was a brief meeting, but you enjoyed yourself nevertheless. Of course, you still refused to come clean over your little secret, you just figured it wasn't the right time nor was it something that should be discussed since it was the first time reconnecting with Osamu. Somehow, it wasn't the time to do so with your busy schedule, you were exhausted enough taking care of little pranksters that you call sons, that the drama that might ensue from a bomb confession like that would probably be the cause of your downfall. Dramatic as it sounds, you couldn't afford being mentally exhausted during the hectic upcoming weeks. 

You were grateful that Osamu kept his distance respectfully, not pestering you to be in his company, no matter how eager he had seemed. The two of you texted back and forth, him wanting to set up another arrangement to meet, while you—declining, well you were busy, it wasn't as if you were avoiding him, it was the truth. 

"Uncle Shizuma is taking too long!" Atsuhiko whines from the living room, staring at the front door with a pout, his arms folded across his chest, "Uncle Bo is waiting for us!" 

You couldn't help but let out a chuckle not being used to the twins addressing Bokuto, whom they had just met recently, as their Uncle, as you placed your work tablet on the coffee table, plopping yourself down on the couch that Atsuhiro occupied reading his little storybook about dinosaurs. Your arms instantly wrap around the little boy's body, pulling him closer to you. You nuzzle your nose into the crook of his neck, receiving a giggle from his lips as he protests, trying to pry himself out of your grasp. "What? You don't like mommy's cuddles anymore? Are you a big boy now?" 

"No mommy," he shakes his head as he puts the storybook away, only to wrap his short arms around your neck to hug you closer, "I love mommy's cuddles even when I get big. Just tickles." 

The doorbell echoes throughout the room and before you could muster any form of response, Atsuhiko jumps from the couch claiming that he'll answer it. You could only protest with a yell, extracting your arms away from Atsuhiro to follow him in case it was a stranger. 

"Atsuhik—" 

"Uncle Bo! You're here!"

You halt in your footsteps as you blink a couple of times, wondering if you were hallucinating. Why was he here? How did he even know where you lived? 

"Uncle Bo!" Atsuhiro cries out, jumping out of his seat and rushing over after slinging one of the straps of his backpack on his shoulder, his other hand gripping onto his brother's own backpack to hand it over. You were confused at Bokuto's presence, however, your boys showed no sign of surprise but more on the side of excitement, practically giddy that their Uncle Bo had picked them up for training this time. 

Bokuto seemed to sense your confusion and gave you a sheepish smile, "I'm assuming Shizuma didn't inform you. Ah—anyway, he had plans today and said I should pick up the boys instead and take them to training, so he gave me your address. I'm sorry, it didn't cross my mind to contact you first. Is this okay? If not, we can cance—" 

You listen as the man rambles on, the boys waiting (Atsuhiko in particular) impatiently by the door, tugging on Bokuto's hands to grab the man's attention. You cut Bokuto's rambling with a wave of your hand, shooting him an appreciative smile, "No, Bo. It's okay. I'm sure the boys would be upset if you had to cancel training. I trust you enough," you trail off before teasing him with a grin, "You are after all, the great Uncle Bo." 

Your teasing sends warmth to the tips of his ears but he couldn't help but let his mouth widen up to a smile, "I suppose I am. I'll bring them back in one piece, promise." 

"You better!" You let out a laugh, ruffling the hair of your twin boys before bending down to press kisses on their respective foreheads, "Be good to your Uncle Bo, okay? Don't be too hard on him. Have fun!"

They nod their heads and left without another word, you watch them walk away with a smile on your face as they begin chattering with their, just as energetic, Uncle Bo. A part of you was bothered at the fact that your two boys didn't even bother to look back like they used to but, however, that quickly faded when the twins turned around once they neared the apartment complex's elevator, waving at you simultaneously, each yelling out how they will miss you and it instantly warms your heart. They were indeed growing up.

While you returned inside your apartment to continue with preparations for Galaxy Standard's upcoming tour, the trio left the apartment complex and got in Bokuto's car, the man making sure to secure the twins comfortably in the backseat. Hiko whined, practically begging Bokuto to let him sit in front like the big boy that he was, unfortunately, his pleas had fallen on deaf ears as Bokuto drove off. 

As the trio traveled, there wasn't any dull moment within the confinements of the four wheeled vehicle, not even a moment of silence with the twins rambling on about their favorite things to do and adventures they went on, while Bokuto, equally excited to share his own stories.

"Hey Uncle Bo?" Hiko calls out, stopping Bokuto from his own rambling about how he was during his own childhood years. He hums in response as he briefly glances at the rear-view mirror to acknowledge the little boy. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Bokuto eyes widens at the question, spluttering incoherent sentences that made the twins look at him weirdly. He grips onto the steering wheel as he lets out an awkward chuckle, "Why are you asking?"

Hiro shakes his head at his brother, playfully smacking him on the head which causes Hiko to flinch and yelp out, rubbing his head with his palm to soothe the brief pain. "I just wanna know if Uncle Bo has a girlfriend!"

The man chuckles, keeping his eyes on the road as his grip on the steering wheel loosens up a bit, "Nah, no girl."

"Oh good," Hiko starts, a small mischievous smile forming on his lips, "Will you date our mommy then? She needs a boyfriend, you know."

Once again, Bokuto returns to his sputtering state while Hiro lets out a dramatic sigh, crossing his arms against his chest as he gives his twin a look. "I'm telling mommy." 

"You want me to da—date your m—mom?" Bokuto stutters, bewildered. 

Hiko ignores his brother's glares and shrugs his shoulders, "It was Uncle Rei's idea! Mommy was yelling at him the other day and after mommy pinched Uncle Rei's ear, I heard him grumble how mommy needs to ‘loosen up’ and get a boyfriend!"

Bokuto lets out a laugh in amusement, "Well, why not ask your Uncle Rei to date your mom then? Or Uncle Shizuma."

"Uncle Shizuma has a girlfriend," Hiro claims.

Hiko adds, "Uncle Rei said mommy might end up killing him."

Bokuto chuckles, "then, why me?"

Hiko looks at him weirdly, "What do you mean? You're cool!"

"Do you not want mommy as your girlfriend?" Hiro asks, folding his arms across his chest as if to judge his supposed favorite Uncle, the little boy waiting for the correct answer or else he would have to decide that he would no longer call this man his favorite uncle like he had claimed, "She's very pretty. Do you not think she's pretty?"

"I—"

Hiko interrupts Bokuto with a loud huff, "You better think mommy's pretty or else I'm telling Uncle Asuma on you!"

Bokuto lets out a sigh, feeling warmth spread in his cheeks. He didn't know why, despite them being kids, the conversation itself was embarrassing enough, he wonders if the boys would end up telling you the conversation, or worse, Asuma or Reiji, the teasing would be endless. However, not wanting to upset them both, who are looking extremely impatient and upset waiting, he answers, "Yes, yes. Your mother is really pretty."

Hiko nods happily before looking at his brother with a wide smile. Hiro, satisfied with his answer for the time being, tilts his head as he asks, "So will you date her?"

“Nice receive, Hiko!” Bokuto praises with a huge grin while Hiko throws his fists in the air at his achievement, he looks over to the side with a wide smile, “Hiro! ‘Sumsum! Did you see that?” 

Hiro nods his head in response, giving his brother a thumbs up while the man next to Hiro lets out a happy cheer, “Way to go, Hiko! You’re going to be better than your Uncle Bo in no time, even better than me, your Uncle Atsumu.” 

The little boy that stood next to the bleached blonde man, tilts his head back to look up at him with a raised eyebrow, “You’re not our uncle.” 

Bokuto lets out a laugh, Hiko on the other hand, not really understanding what was so funny, decided to mimic his actions anyway. Apparently, acting like Bokuto would make him look as cool. On the other side of the court, Atsumu juts out his lower lip into a pout at being teased, by a kid no less, “Hey, a guy can dream okay. You two will soon call me Uncle too, and you’ll understand that I’m way better than Bo here.” 

“I can’t believe you’re jealous, ‘Tsumu.” Bokuto teases with a grin, tossing the volleyball over to Hiko who receives the ball with ease due to weeks of practice. “You did it again, Hiko! I’m so happy! I can’t wait to tell your uncles and your mom the progress the two of you made.” 

“I’m not jealous,” Atsumu retorts, scrunching up his features in annoyance, “I just can’t believe these kids think you’re better than me when I’m clearly superior.” 

“But Uncle Bo is so cool!” Atsuhiko exclaims defensively, pointing at Atsumu accusingly with his index finger as if to scold the man for disrespecting his favorite Uncle Bo. He adds, “He’s going to date our mommy, you know.” 

Atsumu wiggles his eyebrows at his friend, “Oh?” 

“What? It—It’s not like that!” 

Hiko stomps his feet and drops the volleyball in his grasp, sending a glare at Bokuto. “Why not?” Bokuto just lets out a nervous laugh, receiving a huff from Hiko who then turns his attention over to Atsumu, “Well, do you have a girlfriend?” 

Before Atsumu can respond, Hiro throws his hands in the air and shakes his head at his brother. “You can’t just ask everyone if they have a girlfriend or not so they can date mommy.” 

Sensing the twins about to start arguing, Bokuto rests his hands on Atsuhiko’s shoulders to avert his attention while Atsumu did the same with Atsuhiro. “Let’s go back to practice, okay?” 

“Hey ‘Sumsum?” Hiro calls out after moving away from the man’s grip on his shoulders to grab a volleyball, “Can you teach me how to serve properly?” 

Atsumu nods, walking to the edge of the court with Hiro trailing behind him, picking up an extra volleyball along the way, “Come on then.” 

However before the two of them could walk further to their destination, Atsuhiro tugs on Atsumu’s jersey weakly, a frown etching on his features. He mumbles underneath his breath, his grip on the volleyball weakening, “’Sumsum...I don’t feel so good.” 

Before Atsumu can comprehend what was happening, he catches a glimpse of Atsuhiro collapsing onto the floor behind him. 

“Hiro!”