#I’ve had this scheduled since november

[echo-of-the-eye]

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: dad!Jaehyun x fem!Reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Poly!ilichil. Angst! Daddy kink. Unprotected vaginal sex. Creampie. Breeding kink. Cock warming themes. Pregnancy kink(?). Pregnancy. Emotional damage for Jaehyun stans.. <3

| wc: 4.7k

| aurora's note: ....you know..... i had this in the drafts of my poly!ilichil x oc book back in august.............. i feel like i unknowingly manifested this... sorry... um.. little bit of context you need is y/n and poly!ilichil already have a daughter together, her name is Reyna, and they all agreed to not know who her biological father is. i didn't want to change too much from my original story... sorry..

You didn’t want to talk about it. Not for a single second. About two months ago, Jaehyun sat everyone down in the living room with the life and color drained from his face, his hands fidgeting with each other as he paced back and forth in front of the TV for a good two minutes before Doyoung begged him to stop and just say what was on his mind. Jaehyun immediately froze, turned, and spit out, “I auditioned for the military band a couple of weeks ago.” The room went still. “I got accepted today. I’ve decided to go early, in November, just to get it out of the way, so that Taeyong and I can come back together to look after Reyna, instead of all of us just going one at a time.” That didn’t make any sense— That made it worse! Everyone expected that it would be one at a time, making it easier to share the load of running such a big house while having a little one running around. How the hell was it helpful to have him leave early— Two years early, by the way. So you decided you didn’t want to hear it, so you got up to leave with the excuse of going to take care of the baby, while the others sat in silence, staring at Jaehyun with shock.

It took a few days before you could look at him again. He tried to talk to you about it, wanting to explain himself and the fact that he was going into the military band so that he would have ample opportunity to visit, probably with Taeyong too, just to cheer you up. But you didn’t want to hear it. There was a crying baby in your room, begging for her dad, and you wondered what you were going to do with him gone… Yeah, there were the others. Of course they would always help out. But Jaehyun had a special touch with your daughter that put her to sleep whenever she was fussy or made her giggle whenever she was scared after a silly nightmare. There were times when you couldn’t help her but he could. How could he leave her?

“Let me feed her so you can rest,” Jaehyun begged from outside the door one afternoon when he heard her crying because she was hungry and you were grumpy while bouncing her in your arms, trying to get her to calm down. You gave in. The door opened, and Jaehyun took your daughter in his arms with a smile and a happy coo that instantly cheered her up. “Hi, my sweet girl. Let’s get you something to eat so you can nap with your mom.”

While he left with the baby, you crashed in bed, finally able to take a nap for the first time in a few days. The other boys tried to help out and get you to rest, but you had locked yourself away ever since Jaehyun said he was leaving— You didn’t want their help, because who could you trust? Next thing you’d know, Doyoung would be surprising you with his early enlistment, too… And maybe Jungwoo would follow suit… You didn’t dare to dream that Hyuck would leave you, too, but the concern lingered in the back of your mind. Jaehyun had flipped your whole world upside down, and you hated him for it.

By the time you were able to look him in the eyes again, the boys returned to their schedules of taking turns looking after the baby, and Johnny was cooking meals for a silent household since everyone was walking on eggshells around you. They’d just gotten their daughter back, no one wanted to start another argument that would have you retreating into your bedroom again. But Jaehyun observed you closely. Physically, he was at a distance, but his eyes followed you, like he was expecting you to say something to him. And you did.

“Mark and Haechan won’t even be here to see you off.”

Everyone in the kitchen went to a standstill.

“Reyna and I can’t go either.” If people took pictures of you, a random lady, holding a baby at his enlistment ceremony, the internet would’ve burned to the ground with speculation that would’ve flushed down the drain years of hard work keeping your relationship a secret.

Doyoung shifted uncomfortably on his seat while switching Reyna to his left arm to cradle her as he ate his breakfast that Johnny made.

“You’ll miss so much… Her first steps… Maybe her first words too…”

Yuta put his clean plate in the sink for Jungwoo to wash. Johnny turned off the stove before taking his own plate filled with eggs and sausage to his seat at the table. However, no one else moved or spoke until you stood, your plate still untouched, and left to go to your room.

Another two days later, there was a knock at your door, followed by Jaehyun cautiously peeking in to see if you’d send him away after throwing a pillow or something more… damaging than that. To his surprise, when you didn’t object to his appearance, he entered completely, closing the door behind him before slowly sitting on the corner of your bed. Reyna was napping in Mark’s room because he was trying to make the most out of seeing her before he and Haechan had to go back on tour in Europe for a whole month.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, baby.”

You stared at him, hoping that if you didn’t move and kept your breathing steady that you wouldn’t fall apart and start crying.

“But I am going—”

You gulped, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“—and I hope that you’ll support my decision in time.” He bit his lip and played with his hands anxiously. “I know I’m going to miss out on a lot with Reyna, and the rest of you too. It kills me that I might not be here for her first steps, or when she’s teething and keeping you all up every night, or when she says her first words… But I’d rather give up some of that than give up her first day at preschool where she makes her first real friends, or when she gets her first stupid playground crush on some stupid kid who doesn’t deserve her a single bit.” Both of you chuckled quietly. “I want her to know that I’m her dad. If I leave now, she won’t know, and by the time I come back, she’ll learn who I am and always know that I’m her dad, and that I’m never going anywhere ever again. That’s the choice I’ve made. To be remembered by her, and to experience other things with her, I have to give up some of the other stuff now—”

Jaehyun was caught off guard when you threw the covers off your body and immediately leaned forward, putting your weight on your knees, so that you could kiss him gently. It took him a few seconds to snap out of his trance and reciprocate your kiss. His hands caressed your cheeks, fingers tickling your earlobes, his lips and tongue fighting for dominance.

But then he pulled away for air. His gaze was lowered in shame as he whispered, “I don’t want to fight these next few weeks. Can we just… Can we try to have fun? Be normal?”

“I’d like that.”

With a sigh of relief, Jaehyun pulled you on top of him while he simultaneously shifted to sit more comfortably on the bed. He cradled you close to him, like he was afraid to ever let go. In return, you held onto him, fingers tangling in his hair, your forehead pressed against his temple, staring at his dimples that Reyna and Jungwoo liked to play with— Everyone joked that was the one thing she must’ve inherited from Jungwoo, her uncanny obsession with Jae’s dimples and smile lines. And so the two of you stayed like that for what could’ve been hours on end. Every so often, Jaehyun would shift slightly beneath you, kissing you, rubbing your back comfortingly, whispering words of praise and affirmation. When he asked if he could spend the night in your room with you and Reyna, you replied with a nod. Then when Mark returned with Reyna, you took her while Jaehyun laid with his back against the headboard of your bed, his legs spread wide enough for you to sit comfortably between them while your back was resting against his stomach, both of you staring down at your daughter, watching as she slept so soundly knowing that her dad was there.

As promised, you and Jaehyun acted like things were normal. You didn’t want to talk about him enlisting. He didn’t want to upset you. The rest of the house was terrified of setting you off again. So things went on like there wasn’t a doom’s day clock in the back of their minds, counting down the days until November 4th. Mark and Haechan seemed content with the decision to pretend like nothing was wrong because it made their quick stay at home between tours go easier, like how they went out to lunch with Jae almost every other day, and the three of them would play with Reyna in the living room whenever she had a lot of energy in the bouncer Hyuck bought for her.

The evenings were reserved for you and Jae. It started innocent at first, casually cuddling together and watching a TV show he’d been dying to cross off his list for a while. But then he asked you out on a date. Of course those weren’t uncommon in the house— But you going out in public with them was next to impossible, so it struck you as odd that Jaehyun would want to run the risk of a scandal so close to his enlistment… Then again, who were you to deny him? You wanted to savor every moment with him that you could, so against your better judgment, you said yes, letting him spoil you to an entire date night out and about.

During the drive home, Jaehyun’s hand was placed high on your thigh while he massaged it fairly roughly although it was mindless so you didn’t care to stop him. He was distracting you, though. While you tried to admire the city out your window while listening to some of his music, his fingers on the inside of your leg, his cold rings against your skin, his big palm threatening to slide under your dress… You wondered if he had other intentions. He seemed preoccupied with the road while humming along to the music, but his hands seemed to be in a different world from the rest of him.

When you pulled up to the house, Jaehyun ran around the car once it was off so that he could open your door before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt. With a wide grin plastered across his face, Jae took your hand and led you inside, switching to caress the small of your back possessively as you entered the living room to find the boys playing a Mario Kart tournament— Jungwoo, Mark, Haechan, and Johnny were playing  while Yuta bounced Reyna in his arms.

Despite Jaehyun’s obvious attempts to rush you up to his bedroom, Johnny paused the game when Mark stopped the two of you with an innocent question about how your date went. Jaehyun gave a quick, half-assed reply of, “Good,” before trying to corral you again; However, you stayed to tell them about everything the two of you did. He took you to a fancy restaurant that many celebrities took all their “hidden treasures” to because of the staff’s reliable secrecy, and the fact that all the patrons were there with someone they didn’t want to be spotted with, so no one was going to snitch. After dinner, Jae drove you two around Seoul for a bit, going up some of the mountains to the look outs before driving back down to look at the city that was buzzing with nightlife.

“It was lots of fun, yes,” Jaehyun admitted with an impatient smile. “Now, if you don’t mind, she and I are going to be busy for the rest of the night.”

Hyuck looked up. “Can I join?”

“No.”

With that, Jaehyun took his hand in yours then dragged you up to his room which was second on the left, putting him between Johnny and Yuta. The door slammed shut behind the two of you once you entered. Jaehyun immediately pushed you up against the wall, his hands pinning you with nowhere to escape to as his lips began attacking yours.

“I want another one,” he muttered between kisses.

“What?”

“A baby…” He took off your dress and bra. “I want another baby.” His hands began running over your stomach. “Want the boys to send me pictures of you while I’m gone…” He left a big hickey on your neck, forcing you to hiss at the pain. “Want to know that I did it this time… That I have something to look forward to when I come back.”

You fiddled with the buckle of his pants while he latched onto a nipple. “Won’t you be sad, though?”

“Why?”

“You wouldn’t be here…”

“I’ll come back and visit every chance I get.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

You pushed his pants and boxers down to his ankles. He stood and took off his shirt. With your hand suddenly jerking off his hard cock, you whispered in his ear something wanton about wanting to have another baby with him, and that set Jaehyun off. He used his strength to pick you up and prop you against the wall while he replaced your hand with his own so that he could line his tip up with your wet entrance. He chuckled in your ear. It was pathetic that all he did was touch your leg in the car and beg you for a baby and suddenly you were dripping wet for him. But that was Jaehyun. He was sexually appealing just by existing, how could you not be turned on just by the mere sight of him?

Jaehyun truly wasted no time pushing into you. His hold on your body never wavered, fingers digging roughly into the undersides of your thighs so that he could support you while fucking into you at an unrelenting pace. You knew that he’d been pent up for a little bit. Ever since “the conversation”, Jaehyun hadn’t gotten laid by anyone in the house, and that was difficult for him since he was the type of guy to relieve stress by sticking his dick in something, but since you were pissed off, you didn’t entertain him, and the boys were keeping their distance too. Jaehyun had a lot of pent up energy. Between wanting to fuck-out some of his feelings and wanting to have another baby, there was really no reason for him to hold back. So he gave you everything he had.

You tangled your fingers in his hair as he continued to piston in and out of you, strangled grunts reverberating from him every time he hit your clit with his unshaved pubic bone. Even though you were trying not to think about the inevitable, it was impossible to ignore the feeling of his long hair between your fingers and under your palms as you tugged on him to force him to kiss you. Jaehyun did so eagerly, his tongue immediately claiming dominance that you always so willingly handed over to him. With your legs wrapped around his small waist, Jaehyun spun, his cock still inside of you, and he set you on the bed before immediately going back to fucking you. There wasn’t a single moment of reprieve where you could catch your breath. He had a goal in mind, and there was no reality in which he wasn’t going to fill you to the brim with load after load throughout the entire night. Who knew taking silly risks like going out in public together would get him so riled up.

“My good girl,” he cooed lovingly in your ear, “taking my cock so well.” He sucked at your neck to leave a hickey while you whimpered and bucked your hips up into him. “So eager to be filled.”

“Please, Jae—”

His grip on your body tightened threateningly.

“Please, daddy!”

Jaehyun moaned against your skin, one his hands drifting between your bodies to rub your clit as a reward for being good, calling him the name he loved so much. The fingers working on your clit suddenly stopped. You whined, squirming beneath him, desperate for the pleasurable friction to return, but Jae held you still.

“Don’t move.”

You complained with a pout, “Daddy…”

“I know, baby girl, don’t worry, I’ll let you cum. I gotta cum first, though… Then—” He slammed into you roughly. “Then you’ll cum to make sure you take in every drop. Got it?”

You nodded eagerly. “Every drop.”

“Good girl.”

His muscular body swallowed you whole as he put all his weight on the bed, his long hair falling in his face while he kissed you passionately, his legs forcing yours to stay spread wide while his cock stretched you wide, his tip making you wince because it felt like it wa kissing your cervix over and over and over again. He was being a bully. He had you pinned to the point you were immobile, left paralyzed to his will and the chorus of moans the two of you were letting out with every thrust.

“I’m getting close, princess. Shit.” Jaehyun put even more of his weight on you while his hips made shallow thrusts rather than having your hole suck in every single inch each time. “Be good and take my cum.” A final, pornographic grunt set Jaehyun over the edge. His hands squeezing your waist for dear life, his lips pressed to yours, his saliva mixing with yours. “Good girl,” he mumbled.

As he thrusted a few more times to ride out his high, Jaehyun pushed himself upright, moving his weight to his knees so that he had a clear view of your wet cunt which he decided had suffered enough and deserved to finally have an orgasm. His fingers returned to your clit. Both of you moaned when your walls tightened around his cock, pulling in his cum, which only egged him on— All of his focus was trained on making you cum with his big cock still buried inside of you. Jaeahyun was admittedly somewhat of a master with his fingers. Now that he had his sights set on his text task of forcing an orgasm out of you, his skillful fingers rubbed your sensitive nub at a fast pace but in various directions and patterns so that the stimulation was constant and overwhelming, turning you into nothing but moans and pleas for him to have some mercy on you. However, one of Jaehyun’s hands didn’t waver from your hip. He kept you as still as he could while your stomach twisted into knots, his cock all too noticeable. He seemed to know what you were thinking.

He grinned ear to ear and moved his palm from your hip to the bottom of your stomach, pressing on it slightly before he slowly moved his cock. “Feel me, princess? I’m right… here…” And then he pressed his thumb down.

“Oh, fuck— Jae— Daddy— Please!”

“Please, what?”

“Please let me cum!”

“Cum for me, pretty girl.”

You let go within an instant, your body fighting against his hold, your hands desperately clinging to the sheets and his hand that was torturing your overstimulated clit.

“Keep fucking my cock like that, princess. Just like that. So fucking good—”

He threw his head back as he twitched inside of you, another load flooding into you as your own high faded. The two of you were just trading orgasms. He was the worst.

Jaehyun finally loosened his grip and removed his fingers from your throbbing clit. Both of you slumped, but he didn’t pull out of you, instead he reached over for a pillow that he slid under your hips to keep them elevated before he rolled his thumbs over your hardened nipples for fun.

“I’ve got another few rounds in me,” he told you. You looked at him with exhausted, heavy eyes. He was glowing with energy, his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, his toned abs extending and clenching as he panted, his muscular thighs twitching when he shifted his weight around to sink into you again. “Be good and keep your legs open for me, okay?”

You nodded, “Yes, daddy,” surrendering to his will for the rest of the night.

Every day after that, Jaehyun would find a rhyme or a reason to have one of the other boys look after Reyna while he fucked you for hours on end in his bedroom. Balls deep in you, he’d always mumble things about knocking you up, having another baby, leaving you with a parting gift. For whatever reason, you didn’t take him seriously. You played into it, moaning that you wanted him to fill you up, to give you a baby… Why you never expected that it would actually happen was beyond you. Nearly three weeks straight he was fucking you into his mattress in every position imaginable. Loads and loads of his cum seeped out of you, day and night, while you were sitting at the dining table eating meals, or while you were cuddled with one of the other boys for movie night. You were an idiot to not seriously think about the consequences.

That was until the dreaded D-Day everyone’d been avoiding for so long.

Watching him from the open doorway of his bedroom, you could see that Jaehyun had pretty much everything ready to go. His hair was already cut short— Shorter than you liked, and they all knew that after the Taeyong debacle in April where Jungwoo had to apologize profusely to you for two weeks straight. His room was in perfect condition, everything was put away neatly, his clothes that were remaining at home were hung up in the closet or neatly folded in his drawers— Even though you said you would keep his clothes fresh so that he would have things to wear when he’d visit. On his desk, there was a stack of letters which you could see had Reyna’s name addressed on the front, along with dates for every week until his discharge. She wouldn’t be able to read them, but he probably expected you or one of the boys to read them to her in his stead. That hurt too much to consider. You didn’t want to think about all the ways he’d poured his heart out for her in those letters, and how you would have to say them out loud like you weren’t suffering without him, that you didn’t miss him every second he was gone.

You gathered the courage to ignore the letters so that you could finally knock on his door with a quiet sniffle. Jaehyun quickly glanced at you to see who was visiting before he returned to his packing. His suitcase was nearly full, there were just a few last minute clothes and toiletries he needed to stuff inside.

“Hi, baby girl. Come in.”

As you stepped forward and sniffled again, Jaehyun looked over his shoulder at you, then once he noticed the tears pooling in your eyes, he stopped packing and turned to you completely.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can we talk?”

“Yeah, baby. Of course.”

Jaehyun sat next to his suitcase on the bed so that he could pull you sideways onto his lap. “What’s got my baby girl all upset, huh?” He wiped away one of your tears. “I’ll be back in a few weeks—”

“Please don’t leave. Please. I’ll do anything to keep you here, just don’t leave us.”

Jae sighed and kissed your cheek, leaving his lips pressed against you while he thought for a minute. “I’m so sorry, baby, I have to go, you know that.”

You started crying even harder, clinging onto his black sweatshirt, babbling more pathetic pleas for him to not leave. He just kept saying how sorry he was between your sobs. There was no reasoning with him, the same way there was no reasoning with you. He decided that he was leaving. You decided that you couldn’t accept that. The two of you were at a standstill in which his pride and honor was winning against your emotional argument. He knew that it wasn’t easy for you to let go, so he tried to just ease your mind only slightly about seeing him off for training at the least… That still wasn’t good enough for you.

“I’m pregnant, Jae.”

He froze underneath you. “What?” he croaked.

“I took tests ‘cause I was late, and given the last few weeks, I was suspicious…”

One of his hands drifted over your stomach. “Is it mine?”

“Of course it’s yours, stupid. You wanted a baby so bad, so I didn’t sleep with any of the others the past few weeks… Of course they’re fucking yours. That’s why I can’t let you leave.”

He chuckled happily before kissing you passionately, his smile sticking to your lips. The idiot was over the moon with excitement while you were crying on his lap like a wounded puppy that had been ditched on the side of the road. That was practically what he was doing to you. Leaving you early. Leaving you on the side of the road to fend for yourself. Meanwhile he was laughing to himself, mumbling things about how happy he was, that he was relieved you were having another baby— His baby. It was exactly what he wanted, so of course the fucker was satisfied with himself. 

“Please, Jae. For us, don’t leave.”

His smile faded and his eyes fell shut. “I wish I could stay… But we both knew that even if this happened, I’d still have to leave, princess.”

He tried to comfort you with a million different promises that honestly went in one ear and out the other. He would visit every single break he was given. He would be there when the baby would be born, same with Taeyong. It would be a bit longer until Doyoung or Jungwoo would enlist, so you would have them by your side through everything, keeping you company whenever he couldn’t. Everything was going to be okay. He was going to be okay—

“I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl.”

“I know he’s a boy.” Jaehyun’s touch drifted back and forth slowly. “I’ve had dreams for the past few weeks that we’d have a boy.” Finally, his hands left your stomach to reach up and cup your face gently while he wiped your tears away with his thumbs. “We’re gonna be okay, princess. When have I ever lied to you?” You couldn’t reply, you just tucked into his touch affectionately. “I love you.”

You fisted the dense fabric of his sweatshirt in your hand to keep him close to your body. “I love you, too.”

“It’s time to go,” Johnny said from the doorway where he must have been watching and eavesdropping like you were minutes prior.

Jae sighed anxiously. “Okay, just give me a second to throw the rest of my stuff in my bag.”

“Yuta’s got Reyna downstairs for you.”

He nodded. “Thanks, hyung.”

After Johnny left, you slid off Jaehyun’s lap reluctantly so that he could finish packing while he quietly explained the letters for Reyna on his desk, how he wanted one of you to read a  letter to her once a week, every week until his return. He didn’t care if she wouldn’t remember anything in the letters. His words meant something, and he was eager to come home to her… and to you. He said that last part after zipping his bag shut and turning to face you while holding it. Eighteen months. He’d be back in eighteen months. There’d be so much to look forward to in that time, like all of Reyna’s milestones, and having another baby. He implored you to send him as many updates as possible, just so he was in-the-know and had keepsakes to get him through those eighteen months. And all you got in return was one last “I love you,” as he left the house with only a small handful of the boys to head to his enlistment ceremony.

another aurora's note: sending all the valentines love and support <3 he'll be back before we know it. my asks are always open if you want to talk.

[vnards]

Bear!Price

There was always you. Working behind the counter, serving customers with the ease of a tender hand. John always ended up watching you. Watching you move behind the counter, checking out customers, smiling without a care in the world. Being the light in his darkness.

               “Next!” John listened to you command a room with a softness he was never able to in his years as Captain. A melody with a purpose. A natural, bone-deep attraction. “Sir?”

               Time unpauses. You look at him with that soft concern in your eyes. Ah, yes. He clears his throat, attempting to find words, “Sorry.” It comes out with a short gruff grunt and he begins to place his items on the counter for you to begin to ring up.

               You begin scanning and you take in the new stranger in town. There never are many new faces around town since you moved out of the big city and to a smaller, mountain town. The same regulars come through on a schedule and there’s the occasional traveler passing by through town. But this older gentleman-He was neither a consistency or a wanderer. This was the fourth time you’ve seen him at the local convenient store you work at and he doesn’t seem to talk much, but Marcus, the local forest ranger, spoke about a new hire coming to town and here he’s drifted. Right in front of you.

               A large, burly man with a coat of warmth and softness that rounds out the harder edges of a his build. His hands are large and calloused as they gently place items on the counter. You move into the familiar rhythm of your work, stealing glances with a polite customer smile. And if you smiled a little more than usual at him, then it was a guilty pleasure of yours.

               The man doesn’t seem like much of a talker, but you chatter along, trying to fulfill the requirement of being in customer service and maybe grasp information about the mystery man in front of you. Luckily, the perfect opportunity presents itself when you see the forest ranger emblem on his outside jacket, almost hidden if one doesn’t look hard enough. “You’re the new forest ranger up the hill, right?”

               He lifts his eyes up to you, taking in your features with a quiet surprise of being spoken to. You had to call him twice earlier, he seems lost in thought. But still, you continue on, determined to at least get the stranger’s name. “Yes,” his voice is rough and unused. He clears it, speaking with more conviction this time, “Yes I am.” Was all he said.

               As you read him out his total, you searched for something-anything to talk about before the end of the transaction. Not ready to let the man walk out as a stranger.

               As he searches for his wallet and hands you his debit card. Your chatter continues, light and idle. Like normal strangers would interact. “I’ve always loved the forest, ya know. My dad would take me camping in the fall.” You don’t know why you share this piece of information, this piece of the puzzle with him, expecting nothing in return, but open and sharing anyway.

               The man’s lip tics up on one direction, a smirk of a genuine softness. “The forest has always been a second home to me, too.” He shares.

               You lift his grocery bags for him to take and in that moment, time pauses again. “Price.” He offers, “The name’s John Price.” The customer service smile grows into something more real as you give him your name in return.

               John gets lost in that warm smile, directed at him. A teasing taste of your attention on him that is sweet as honey. Sweet and warm. As he grabs the bags from you, your hands brushing briefly, he feels a spark across his skin that wakes him up. Wakes him up. Shuffling under the surface, a bear rising from slumber.

               John finally steps back, the stirring a reminder of the task at hand. It’s November and the temperature is dropping. He must prepare.

               “It’s nice to meet you,” He smiles, needing to get back on his way to work.

               “See you around,” you say it like you would to any customer, being friendly and approachable. But John wishes for a moment he heard the question in your voice. A promise? And who is he to deny a simple promise?

               “See you around.”

next part ->

[prettyoddfever]

Live in Denver was one single show

just wanted to clear this up because many people keep asking me things about the whole summer tour (or occasionally the literal Fever era) and referring to it all as "Live in Denver."

There were almost 50 shows scheduled for the summer tour. Denver was only one single night. Every picture from the summer tour is not "Live in Denver."

The summer tour didn’t have a fancy name since it was the band’s first national headlining tour and we thought that they were still heading back to the studio in the fall. At the time, the summer tour was usually just called some variation of “the tour,” “the Panic tour,” etc. When the band went overseas afterwards they sometimes referred to it as “the American tour.” Then “the summer tour” became more frequent by November once the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour existed, and that's what stuck. I’ve seen a few people call the summer tour "the Lucent Dossier tour" now, but that could get confusing since Lucent Dossier was also with P!ATD in late October for the UK part of the international tour.

Here's a picture that the band shared during the summer tour:

ABOUT THE DVD:

In 2006, the Astoria show was the popular professionally recorded show. Live in Denver obviously wasn't a big deal during the Fever era because the dvd wasn't even released until a little over a month before that era ended. The NRWC tour was happening at the time that the dvd was released, so that was much more interesting to me. We'd already seen literally thousands of fan videos of the summer tour, so seeing some different angles on the dvd was fun but nothing new.

I remember a lot of us referred to Live in Denver as "the dvd" for a while. FBR+ became a thing in spring 2007 and then more people had access to watch the dvd and started slowly calling Live in Denver by that name instead:

My thoughts on the dvd: it was nice to have such clear footage, but at the same time the band didn’t really feel or sound totally like themselves. The audio on the dvd was mixed by Matt Squire (the producer of AFYCSO), and I didn't like how he messed with Brendon & Ryan's voices. The dvd didn't fully sound like the normal band from that season and I had liked them the way that they were. Also, Brendon wasn’t as relaxed as he normally was. We’d heard that he was also nervous for the Astoria show that was filmed during P!ATD’s first headlining tour and that the band had been much more fun to watch on other nights in that tour when he could loosen up more. So I don’t watch the dvd nearly as much as regular youtube videos (whatever's left at least ugh) because those feel more like the season I remember & love. I do like how Ryan was extra animated at the Denver show, though!! (He ended up winning MVP that night). 

Also, there was never a "Live in Denver" cd.

update: on a similar note, not every single show in the 2008 Honda Civic Tour was in Chicago. Yes, the band played 2 shows in Chicago during that tour, one of which was filmed for Live in Chicago. But that was just one single night in a large tour.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

*calmly*

Bestie, I'm gonna need Logan to invite Alex and Lily over to Florida for a big Sargeant family Thanksgiving 🙊

Thanksgiving in the 305 || LS2 {3}

Pairing: Logan Sergeant x fem!reader Summary: You have lots to be thankful this holiday and get to share the special occasion with even more people this year. Warnings: 18+ only, implied smut, fluff, lots of fluff WC: 3.4K F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four

Monday, 20th November 2023 You had just walked through hell and it had been an absolute nightmare. By hell, you meant Walmart during the week of Thanksgiving. With another point scored on home soil Logan’s popularity seemed to explode overnight and the shopping trip had taken longer than expected after he signed some autographs and took photos with fans. Shopping wasn’t something you enjoyed on the quietest of days but knowing the amount of food prep you needed to do only left you more stressed.

“Relax, honey,” Logan soothed as he rubbed your shoulders with a smile. “We can do this. Just tell me what you need me to do.”

You eventually made it to the checkout with two laden trolleys and Logan did all the heavy lifting of the bags into the back of his Range Rover. Unfortunately you lost more precious prep time to the traffic that swarmed the city and the stress had you wringing your hands together until Logan took one in his.

“Sweetheart, I think you might be going a little overboard.”

You looked up from the pastry you were rolling out to weave into a lattice topping for the pumpkin pie. “What? No. No, I’m not. This is perfectly acceptable.”

“There’s twice as much as last year,” Logan stated, his lips a shade of deep purple from the berries he had stolen.

“We have more guests this year - special guests too.”

Logan’s lips perked up as he laughed. “I’ll let Dalton know you think he’s not special.”

“That is not what I meant,” you gasped, only forgiving him for the joke when kissed you sweetly. “I’ve never seen your principal outside of the races, or Alex and Lily. I’m nervous.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about. They are exactly the same outside of work.”

You chewed your lip as you nodded, hoping he wasn’t just trying to ease your worry. If he was right then you knew you would get along with them just like you had when you went to the races with Logan. You had been lucky enough to make it to most of his races after the summer break and Sooty even joined for the Triple Header rounds, but he missed out on the Vegas trip. The schedule was just too busy to have a dog in tow.

Since everyone was on the same continent, for the moment, you had invited Logan’s team mate and his team principal to join you for an early Thanksgiving. James was bringing his wife and daughter while Alex was coming with his girlfriend Lily. They had all been so supportive of Logan throughout the year that you wanted to show your appreciation before making your way to the final race in Abu Dhabi.

It was going to be the first year since being with Logan that you wouldn’t be at home on Thanksgiving but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to slack on hosting the event. If anything you were going to make it more special to make up for having it on a Tuesday. 

Logan knew one thing that would help you relax while you were busy in the kitchen and after disappearing into the living room you heard the stereo system click on and Logan’s playlist filled the room. The upbeat intro to Hold On, We’re Going Home started and Logan reached you before Drake’s voice could, his hands finding your hips as he rested his chin on your shoulder and watched you work the dough. 

All too soon he grew bored of just watching and his lips started to tease kisses along your neck. “You need to go for a run,” you murmured as you found your progress slowing. “I can’t concentrate with you doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asked innocently, the curve of his lips on your skin giving him away. 

“Distracting me.”

“But it worked, look how relaxed you are now.” His arms curled around your waist as he swayed to the music and you joined him until his hand dipped beneath your shirt and warmed the soft skin on your stomach. 

“Lo…” you groaned as you pushed him back with your hips. “Behave, please.” 

“Cause you’re a good girl and you know it,” he teased in your ear with the song. “You act so different around me.”

You turned in his arms with a smile that he reflected and placed your palm over his chest. “You are going to ruin Thanksgiving dinner.”

Logan looked around the kitchen, every surface full of the food you just had to make final touches on in the morning. There was already more than enough to feed an army. “I don’t think you have to worry about dinner.” He reached behind you and placed a spare cover over the unfinished pie before pulling you flush against him. “And the pie can wait an hour.”

“An hour? I was thinking 10 minutes max,” you giggled as he grabbed your hips and picked you up, your legs wrapping around his waist naturally.

“Is that a challenge?” he dared as he carried you out of the kitchen. “I don’t mind spending the rest of the day proving you wrong, sweetheart.”

“Yes, wait, no, any other time, baby, but not today.”

Tuesday, 21st November 2023 - Thanksgiving Dinner You had never been happier that Logan had insisted on buying a house much larger than anything the two of you needed. Built for a large family, the kitchen had two full sized ovens and both were currently in use. The giant turkey filled one oven on its own and the other had its racks full of different dishes to keep them hot. 

The other great thing about the home was that the stacker doors folded back in the living room to give a massive open space that flowed out into the patio and pool. You needed all that space with the guests that had arrived. Logan’s parents had come first. Mallika had insisted on arriving early so she could help you with the fresh food that couldn’t be pre-cooked and Michael had been ordered to help Logan stock the bar.

Next to arrive had been Dalton, Logan’s older brother, who came with a very happy Sooty after dog-sitting him while you were in Las Vegas. You had rushed out of the kitchen as soon as you heard his excited bark and grappled him into a tight cuddle before Logan wrapped his arms around you both. 

“Hi, my baby,” you cooed as you scratched Sooty’s fur and kissed the top of his head. “Mommy missed you. You’re looking skinny, did uncle Dalt not feed you?” You rose to your feet at the laugh and greeted Dalton with a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you for taking care of him.”

“I would say anytime but he stole an Angus steak from my plate, twice.”

“Why do you think I came out here?” you said with a shake of your head. “There is no way I am letting him anywhere near the kitchen. Lo?”

“On it, honey,” he chuckled. “Come on, Soot, let's go play frisbee. You in, bro?”

You watched the brothers jog out to the lawn and separate to opposite ends and it wasn’t long before Michael joined his sons too.

It was another two Sargeant boys that came through the door with Logan’s aunt following with apologies for her son's lack of manners for skipping the doorbell. You waved the apology away as you gave her a hug. “It’s fine, Debbie. My mother always said doorbells are for salesmen and strangers, not family.”

“Your mother is a good woman,” Harry said as he came in with a large bouquet of flowers for you and a kiss. “You are more and more like her every day.”

You grinned at the compliment and inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers. “Thank you.”

When you first met Harry you had felt intimidated by the billionaire but you had quickly realised he was a kind, down-to-earth man who put family values first. It was one of the reasons he sponsored Logan and helped get him into Formula racing. He believed if he had the resources to help, then he had the responsibility to help. It was the same with Dalton’s NASCAR career.

The next arrival did use the doorbell and Sooty came inside to growl at the uncommon sound until you told him to stop being silly. Once the door was opened he recognised it was Alex and Lily on the doorstep and the protective nature changed to the playful wag of his tail. Sooty enjoyed the attention he got from the animal-loving couple for a moment before another duo stole his attention and he leapt off the porch to race down the driveway. 

“Sorry, he saw my parents,” you said as you invited them inside and to the bar. “Now, Logan’s the mixologist in the house so if you want something more than a beer, a wine or whiskey neat then he’s your man.”

Once Lily had a glass of riesling and Alex an IPA beer, you made the introductions to the few members of his family they hadn’t met. Most of them had crossed paths at least once during the three US based Grand Prix’s this season so it was only Harry’s teenage boys and your parents who needed naming. 

“I found some wanderers in your driveway,” your mother joked as she stepped into your line of vision and waved at the quickly growing Vowles family. “Oscar looks different, more mature.”

You looked at Logan’s old teammate who was just walking through the door and chuckled when he took his shoes off, the only one that ever did when he went inside other people's homes. “That’s what a year will do to a man,” you replied. “I don’t think you’ve seen him since last Thanksgiving, mom.”

“Not true, I saw him at Logan’s birthday.”

“Oh, okay, my bad, it's only been 11 months then,” you said with a laugh as you went to greet him and Logan’s team principal. 

“She is absolutely adorable,” you gushed over the newborn in James’ arms. “I swear she’s grown and I only saw her a few days ago!”

“She’s put on another ounce since then,” the proud father said before holding her out to you. “Go on, I know this is what you’re really after.”

“I was just coming over to see if you needed a drink,” you lied as you reached for her, “but I’m not going to turn down baby snuggles.”

Logan’s eyes found you from across the room where he was talking with Alex and Oscar and he lost track of the conversation at the sight of you. The image of you holding a baby so comfortably made something crack in his chest and he knew you would be a natural when it came to motherhood, he just had to be patient for a few more years. You didn’t even notice his lingering stare as you pressed your nose to her soft hair and inhaled the new baby scent before cradling her closer. 

“You know you are not getting her back until you leave,” you warned James, and he just smiled knowingly.

“I had a feeling that would be the case. Now Rachel and I can enjoy a few hours of free babysitting.”

“Absolutely anytime, any place. Go on, have a drink and chill out, or even a nap if you need. There’s plenty of guest rooms down the hall and a nursery too so you have nothing to worry about.”

“A nursery? Is there something Logan hasn’t told me?” he asked curiously.

You laughed as you shook your head. “Not yet, James. The house was furnished for a family sale when we bought it and one of the rooms was set up to be a nursery. We just never renovated it.”

“You two look really happy,” Alex broke through Logan’s wandering thoughts and he blinked twice before he snapped out of the moment.

“We are. She loves this, having a full house, lots of noise and company.” Logan smiled into his bottle as he tipped the cold beer back and watched as you flitted around the room topping up drinks and chatting with his family all the while managing to cradle his boss's baby safely. “Best thing I did was ask her to come with me. Makes the good days better and the bad ones easier, you know?”

Alex nodded sincerely and cast his eyes to Lily who was laughing at something Dalton said to her about his latest round of golf. Alex knew exactly what Logan meant. 

Logan had always been open about wanting children, even more so when he was drunk, and he was always making plans for the future. He hoped to stay in F1 for as long as possible and he was especially happy that he had signed with Williams for another year, but after that he thought about moving into endurance racing as it was a less intensive schedule. With less commitments to work he would have more time to focus on starting a family, so you waited patiently and supported him in his choices after all the hard work you had seen him put in.

You continued on your way around the guests, oblivious to the way Logan’s eyes followed you the entire time. Eventually you  reluctantly passed the sleeping babe over to your boyfriend knowing he would want to have some time with her too and the next part you needed two hands for. “Dinner is almost ready, if you want to start rounding everyone up into the dining room I’ll bring in the turkey.”

“I can come and help, sweetheart,” he offered but his face softened at the cutie in his arms. Your chest warmed at the sight and you shook your head, not wanting to disturb the moment.

“Between my mom and yours, there’s hardly anything left to do.” You left him with Alex and Oscar, passing by Lily and Dalton’s discussion about the best US golf courses, and found Sooty so he could be put in his kennel. You weren’t keen on having a repeat of his first Christmas when he broke the table leg trying to get scraps and the whole thing had crashed down. It had been a disaster that took a while before you could see the funny side but it still didn’t mean you could handle it happening again. “Come on, as soon as dinner is over you can have your freedom back.”

Sooty whined as you left him behind and you didn’t dare look back or you wouldn’t have the heart to leave him there. The sound followed you until you were inside and the noise of the guests swallowed his lonely cries so you could focus on the meal shared between friends and family.

Logan knelt beside the kennel and caught Sooty’s collar as he unhooked the chain and praised him for being a good boy. Dinner had been another one to remember for a long time to come and everyone was more than full as they settled around the extra large sofa inside. Traditionally, after dinner everyone would be feeling the liquor and reminisce on what they were thankful for before watching the Miami Dolphins game on the tv but since it was only a Tuesday there weren't any big teams playing. 

Logan had a better way to end the perfect afternoon anyway.

“Sooty, where’s mommy?” Logan asked as he buckled his collar back in place and kissed the top of his head. “Go find mommy, go on, good boy.” 

The quick moving ball of fur caught your attention and you just saved your glass of wine from being knocked off the coffee table before Sooty bounded over Lily’s shoes and landed at your feet. He barked twice and sat back on his heels, waiting as if he had been ordered to obey and was expecting a treat - except you hadn’t called him.

“Sooty, how did you escape your…” your words trailed off as you held his collar and watched the light catch on a diamond ring. The room fell silent as you looked up in time to see Logan lower himself onto one knee in front of you.

His deft fingers unbuckled the collar and slipped the ring off so he could hold it delicately in his hand. “I don’t need Thanksgiving to reflect on everything I’m grateful for this year,” he said softly and your heart beat so loudly you were certain everyone in the quiet room could hear it. “Since I found you, I’m thankful every damn day, and I would love to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much, if you’ll let me. Will you marry me?”

You couldn’t remember when you last took a breath and your throat seemed to clog with emotion, choking the word you wanted to scream. Logan’s lips began to curve up into a proud smile when you nodded your head and lifted your trembling hand for him. 

“Yes,” you finally managed to whisper, before the cold band slipped onto your ring finger and your vision blurred with unshed tears of joy. 

You didn’t hear the cheer that erupted, you didn’t hear their congratulations. All you heard was Logan whispering he loved you against your lips before he claimed them for the first time as your fiance.

Logan hadn’t let go of your hand since he put the engagement ring on it but eventually he couldn’t keep you all to himself and draped an arm across the back of your seat instead.

“This is gorgeous!” Lily gasped after she leaned forward to inspect the large rock on the ring. You didn’t miss the pointed look she sent Alex and wondered how long it would be until he took the same step. “So how did you two meet if Logan was in Europe racing?”

Logan grinned as he traced his fingertips across your shoulder and over your collar. “Her mom was my uncle’s secretary and when I was home for the break I dropped by his office to visit him, and then I kept dropping in because I knew she was always in the staffroom doing her homework. Not that she ever looked my way.”

“I looked, when you weren’t,” you admitted as your cheeks heated. “But I had to keep my head down so I could actually concentrate on my assignments. He was very distracting to look at, still is.”

Oscar smiled to himself since he already knew the story well over the years of friendship and double dates.

Alex chuckled and mirrored your cosy state with Lily opposite you. “So did he finally ask you out or did you have to take charge?”

“Actually Harry set us up,” you said with a smile in the oil magnate’s direction where he was talking to his wife. “I didn’t have a licence and when my mom got sick Harry had Lo take me to visit her. He went out of his way to pick me up after school every day for like two months. I honestly don’t know how I would have gotten through that time without him.”

You turned your smile to Logan as he reached for his beer and took a long drink. If you were alone he would have whispered sweet affirmations in your ear about how strong you were and how he would always be there for you but with the present company and his ears turning pink he swallowed his words. But you still saw them in his proud smile and in his blue eyes.

“Okay, maybe I went a teensy, tiny, little bit overboard,” you admitted as you saw the leftovers filling the kitchen island after everyone had gone - the house was quiet once more.

You knew there was the temptation for Logan to say ‘I told you so’ but he just kissed your temple with a smile before he checked his watch and said. “I’ll get the containers.”

Although it was too late to go to Miami-Dade shelters tonight, it had become a tradition to take the leftovers around to them after a holiday. It would only go to waste with the two of you, especially since you were heading to Abu Dhabi in the morning.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” you asked when he returned from the garage with his arms full of takeaway containers.

“Once or twice,” he teased as he abandoned the containers to pull you into his arms, “but I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”

“Good thing we’ve got the rest of our lives then.” You placed your hands on his shoulders and looked at the ring on your finger with fondness before staring into his ocean eyes. “I love you, Lo.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Always have, always will.”

Click here for the next part.

[angelasscribbles]

Personal Update April 2025

Hey guys. It’s been so long since I’ve done a true update. I haven’t posted much at all in 2025 and there are a lot of reasons for that.

Tag list clean up is coming next, just FYI.

I’m not sure what, exactly, was the final straw that pushed me away from Tumblr. Drama, declining readership, real life demands. Probably a bit of all of the above.

September 2024 my sister was dx with terminal cancer. November 2024 a convicted felon took the White House. I have people I love that are part of vulnerable communities, and that’s all I want to say about that here.

I had a rough time, emotionally, for the last six months or so. Add in my own dx with a chronic illness, my kids overwhelming volleyball schedule, rescuing a puppy, etc. I was honestly just exhausted. My entire family has been sick (and I mean, out of it, can’t sit up for days sick) four times since Thanksgiving.

I lost my sister last month. The state I live in is trying to make it illegal for people I love to exist.

And wow, that sounds like a litany of poor me. It’s not. It’s simply what the last six, nearly seven, months have been like. That’s over half a year. When I look at it like that… no wonder I’ve been MIA in a lot of areas of my life.

The good news is that my neurodivergent brain just decided, for whatever reason, to unvapor lock.

My birthday was two days ago, and it was a good one. Despite the last six months, I had fun. I smiled. I laughed. I relaxed. There was ice cream and singing from friends. A campfire and s’mores at home. My husband cooked my favorite steak tacos.

I don’t know. I just feel like I received permission to start living again. To feel joy again.

Earlier this week, I randomly completed a 1200 word one shot and have over 2000 words on another (completely unrelated to the first). And so many ideas, I can’t reign them in. Just like old times lol.

It feels good. Writing feels… joyous to me.

That’s not saying I will ever return to posting two to three chapters a week again. I have other writing projects going on that will never be posted here. In a lot of ways, I have outgrown Tumblr. But TRR will always have a special place in my heart.

So even as I refocus my writing energy on original fiction, I imagine that the one shots and the open ended series I have created will continue to intrude upon my consciousness and demand to be written. And they shall be.

I'm not leaving. I intend to post more than I have been in the last six months, but not as much I was posting two years ago.

I am so close to finishing both Law’s End and Savage Love, I can taste it.

My asks are currently closed because I have a backlog of asks already. I make no promises about any of those. That said, my inbox is always open if you just want to say hi.

Tagging under the cut.

@walkerdrakewalker @kingliam2019 @twinkleallnight  @secretaryunpaid

@karahalloway, @harleybeaumont @alj4890 @aussiegurl1234 @nestledonthaveone

@lovingchoices14  @bascmve01

 @tessa-liam @queen-arabella-of-cordonia

@emersyn-in-cordonia @indiacater @mattiematt1234

@twinkle-320 @tinkie1973

@differenttyphoonwerewolf  @jared2612  @belencha77 @gabesmommie1130

@irishgrl2022 @queenmiarys

@kristinamae093 @sillydg @bebepac

@3pawandme @dcbbw  @amandablink

@phoenixrising0308 @lunaseasblog  

@hollygirl1269 @mainstreetreader @ohmyeightpastlives  

@gardeningourmet @21-wishes @73geenalove @jennieausten

@princessleac1  @kachrisberry @tornbetween2loves @fangirling12566  @pinklipsandmasonjars @savannahdix

[iggydustmop]

McLennon things that I think about a lot and feel as though I have no one to tell them to:

There’s an interview with Paul where he’s talking about the meaning behind “This One,” trying to say it was written from George’s perspective about John’s death. (Which…yah, sure Jan.) He talks about how he’d written it for George, because Paul and John had “really made things up and gotten our relationship back on track in the w—months leading up to his death.”

What’s weird about this is the fact that it directly contradicts what he says in later years, that he and John hadn’t spoken in about a year, that they hadn’t seen each other in four years.

There’s other sources that say they’d actually booked studio time together for January of 1981, too.

There’s enough evidence that says the two of them absolutely met up after 1976, that they were talking regularly on the phone in the months and weeks leading up to his death, and that there was a reunion scheduled for the following month. Another interesting thing of note is James McCartney stating he remembered being held by John at the Dakota - but he was born in 76, so how would he remember that if Paul hadn’t seen John since then, supposedly?

So why does Paul downplay his relationship with John (friendship or otherwise) in the last few years of John’s life? Why does he make it sound like they were merely friendly acquaintances at the end?

—

I also just heard John’s first demo of “Real Love,” the one where he talks about the “baby just born and another on the way,” supposedly after having read the pregnancy announcement of Paul & Linda expecting James. He ends it “I should call him” (admittedly I’m paraphrasing.)

—

I had the pleasure of getting to see Paul McCartney in Mexico City on 12 November, and it was absolutely amazing. It did not go unnoticed that he came out on stage waving a giant rainbow flag, and then said, “this here is my favorite part of the show, and soon you’ll see why,” before launching into the duet with John on “I’ve Got a Feeling.” I wonder what broke loose in the last few years to have him be such an openly sentimental sap about John these days? Not that I’m complaining! He also played “Here Today,” and “Now and Then,” and I cried like a damn baby.

Lennon McCartney is the greatest tragic love story only partially told. I hope someday it gets told, but I also understand we’re not fundamentally owed anything.

I hope the afterlife is real, if only so they can see each other again.

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: this one actively broke my heart while writing it and i hope i did the topic justice. title came from a song on @pyotrkochetkov ‘s barzy playlist and i just knew i had to write something angsty for it. a bunch more happy and smutty long fics and headcanons are coming! seriously, let me know what you thought of this one - much heavier and angstier than i usually write 😬 ignore any inconsistencies, i’m not an expert on this particular medical procedure or professional hockey team travel

word count: 7k

tw: miscarriage, subsequent emotions

summary: on a mini trip to vancouver to watch andrei play, you suffer the worst loss of your life. andrei is your rock throughout the ordeal

Vancouver is a fun city - maybe not as fun as Raleigh or New York, but fun nevertheless - and you’re excited that part of the Canes’ Western road trip fell close to Thanksgiving weekend so you could join in for a bit of it without having to miss too much time at work. Part of your goal this season, your first married to Andrei, is to see him play in every arena. You’ve managed a few of the east coast arenas so far, but this is your first time out west. Nykki joined you too, so it’s like a mini-girls’ trip rolled into a ‘supporting our men’ trip.

The team’s there before you and Nykki get to Vancouver, having already played in Seattle two days before. It’s actually been slightly more than a week since you’ve seen Andrei in person and you miss him a lot. You’ve been with him for four years now, so you’re used to the travel and not seeing him for chunks of time, but this week feels extra hard. Luckily, after this little West Coast swing, Andrei will be home for a good chunk of time - the quirks of the NHL schedule are always insane to you.

You and Nykki get dinner before the game, discussing her wedding plans. It’s scheduled for early August, but time is already flying. You’re a bridesmaid, but you’ve been pushing off picking a dress, knowing that it’s not going to fit you by the time the wedding happens. Your fingers curl carefully against your stomach, hidden by the table and the bulk of your sweater, your little secret.

Butterflies roll in your stomach, excitement mingling with nerves, knowing that you’re going to tell Andrei the news after the game tonight. It’s so early in your marriage, and you’re definitely freaking out a little bit, but the idea of a little baby that looks like Andrei is enough to help the excitement win out.

“Martin wants to do Bali for the honeymoon,” Nykki tells you while you find your way to your seats. You bought tickets for the lower bowl, wanting to be in the middle of the crowd and all the excitement. The Canucks fans are already a little rowdy, with warmups halfway over. There’s a few Canes jerseys smattered through the crowd, but it’s certainly an uneven match.

You sip at your overly large Coke, your stomach turning a little. Dinner isn’t sitting right with you, but it’s manageable for now. “Bali’s nice, I mean, so I’ve heard. But what’s the weather like in August?”

Nykki points at you, her other fingers wrapped around her beer can. “That’s what I said! I thought it would be unbearably hot and humid, but apparently it’s gorgeous - 86 and barely any rain,” she grins. “I promised he could be in charge of the honeymoon, so I think we’re going to Bali.”

“Well,” you smirk back, “there are worse places to spend two weeks with your gorgeous NHL player husband, Nyk.”

She laughs and takes a sip of her beer, eyes twinkling. “You have a point there. How about you and Andrei? What are the big summer vacation plans?”

You pause, thinking of an answer because you’re anticipating having a newborn this summer, so a vacation isn’t likely to happen. Andrei’s been floating the idea of a mini European tour - hitting Rome and Paris for a few days each before heading to Russia for a little bit to visit family. But you haven’t really committed to plans since it’s only November and you have plenty of time. “We haven’t really talked about it,” you answer Nykki truthfully. “Drei’s been focused on the season and I’ve been busy with work. He doesn’t like to plan anything before the end of the regular season anyway.”

“Superstition,” Nykki sing-songs, putting her beer in the cup holder as she stands for the anthems. You get to your feet, pulling off your baseball hat and holding it over your heart, humming along with both anthems. You shift your weight from foot to foot, stretching out your lower back a little.

The puck drops and the game starts - Andrei’s almost immediately put in the penalty box, complaining and shouting at the ref the entire time he skates over. His hands fly in the air as he gestures, but his passion isn’t moving the ref at all and he takes his seat in the box, slumping down. You laugh, shaking your head affectionately. He’s a sweetheart off-ice, but on the ice, Andrei is a borderline criminal. He’s leading the team in penalty minutes and you’ve definitely heard plenty about how he doesn’t deserve it.

The game clock ticks down, Andrei’s released from the box and immediately scores on a breakaway. You and Nykki jump from your seats, screaming and cheering with the Canes up one to nothing. The Vancouver fans around you glare and chirp, but you and Nykki just laugh, giving back as good as you get.

It’s pure fun to be supporting the visiting team and you and Nykki thoroughly enjoy yourselves, dancing to the music and gossiping during TV timeouts and slower moments. Nykki gets another beer and you refill your soda, your stomach still acting up. The popcorn Nykki gets is too salty and you end up joining the crowd when they start throwing their own snacks at the refs. It’s a penalty called on the Canucks, which is good news for you, but the crowds enthusiasm is infectious.

The fans of the Canadian teams are definitely a little more intense and vocal with their displeasure with the refs, you’ve noticed. A particularly obscene chant breaks out when Brady dances around one of the Canucks’ defensemen to set up a powerplay goal for Brent Burns.

You and Nykki throw your arms up and cheer, screaming yourselves silly. Your stomach cramps a little and it puts a damper on the celebration and also serves as a reminder that you really need to see a GI doctor to determine if you’re actually lactose intolerant or if you have a gluten allergy. You grimace and sit back down, clenching your stomach a little, which seems to help. The rest of the second period flies by and the boys are up two to one.

The people around you start to shuffle off to get more food or go to the bathroom, now that the second intermission has started. You finish the rest of your soda and shift in your seat. Nykki looks over at you curiously. “You okay? You seem like you’re kind of uncomfortable,” she says, twisting her hair back into a ponytail.

“I’m fine,” you hum. “My back is killing me though. I must’ve tweaked it on the flight over.”

“You want an Advil?” Nykki’s already shaking around her purse and you can hear things rattling around.

“Let me go refill my drink, pee, and then yeah, I’ll take an Advil,” you reply, holding the reusable cup to your chest and getting out of your seat. Nykki pulls her knees to the side and you scoot past her, stopping when she makes a little noise. “What?”

“Babe, I think you need a tampon too,” she whispers, gesturing to the back of your jeans.

Your eyebrows draw together. You’re not getting your period anymore. “Tamp-?” The word catches in your throat and your eyes go wide. Your mind spins as the pieces start clicking into place and, as if to serve as the final kick in the ass sign, your lower stomach twists unpleasantly with a sharp cramp. Tears fill your eyes and you reach down to grab Nykki’s hand. “Um, surprise, I’m pregnant, but maybe see should go to the hospital or an urgent care?”

Half a dozen emotions cross Nykki’s face before it settles on shock, but all you can focus on now is the persistent cramping in your stomach. The cramping that’s been bothering you all day and you ignored, thinking nothing of it. God, you’re a terrible mother already.

“Okay, okay,” Nykki jumps to her feet, squeezing your fingers and dragging you out of the row and up the stairs to the main concourse. Her other hand is gripping her phone tightly and she’s jabbing at it with her thumb. “I’m calling an Uber. The hospital is like a ten minute drive.”

You nod, feeling numb as Nykki drags you along, your feet stumbling to keep up as you dart around the people waiting in lines for the bathroom and for food. How could your whole night - your whole life - have just taken a complete one-eighty in the matter of minutes. The cold Vancouver air hits your face like a slap, shocking some feeling back into your body. You wish it hadn’t.

The cramping is worse, the feeling between your legs - blood - like free bleeding during your period, but worse, so much worse.

Your stomach lurches and you rip your hand from Nykki’s grasp, bending at the waist and vomiting into a bush next to the entrance to the arena. “Oh, it’s going to be okay. Let it out,” Nykki’s voice is soothing and she rubs a hand in between your shoulder blades while your stomach seizes and you vomit again, spitting into the dirt.

Tears streak down your cheeks and your throat burns now. “I want Andrei,” you whisper, heart clenching with grief.

“Let’s get you to the hospital,” Nykki guides you towards the rideshare pick-up area, where a four-door sedan is already waiting. “I’ll get a hold of him somehow, but let’s take care of you first, okay?”

You let her bundle you into the backseat of the car and swallow back your tears, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes hard enough to see starbursts. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath, you try to calm down, you don’t know what’s happening for sure. Even though it feels very much like the end of something, you have to find a little piece of hope to keep yourself sane. The driver catches your eye in the rear view mirror as he pulls out of the arena parking lot, his mouth twisted down in a concerned frown even as his eyes are slightly judgmental. He’s driving you from a hockey game to a hospital - god knows what he’s thinking about you.

Nykki squeezes your knee and smiles gently at you, even as she’s typing on her phone with her other hand. “It’s still intermission, no one’s going to have their phone on them, but I’m trying to see if I can get through to one of the trainers or something. Just stay calm and we’ll figure it out,” she’s no-nonsense and you’re so grateful for her taking control of the situation.

Your lower back complains as the driver hits a pothole and another leak of fluid rushes between your legs. The drive is too long and too short all at once and before you know it, you’re being admitted to the Vancouver General Hospital emergency room and deposited on a bed, a curtain drawn around you. A nurse with warm, sympathetic eyes and a kind smile does your intake, her lips twisting to to side as you’re answering her questions.

“I just found out a few days ago,” you whisper, starting your fingers together. “I haven’t even told my husband.”

“Mrs. Svechnikov,” the nurse pats your arm comfortingly, “we really don’t know anything for sure until we get an ultrasound. Try not to put added stress on your body.”

You don’t even bother correcting her about your last name, the Russian name sounding strange in her Canadian accent. Nykki comes behind the curtain, clutching her phone. “There’s about ten minutes left in the third,” she says. “I can’t get ahold of anyone, but I’ll keep trying.”

“We’re going to get an OB down here and check everything out, okay?” The nurse says kindly, but brusquely, and then disappears back into the main emergency room. You roll your neck so your cheek is resting on your shoulder and a few tears leak out of your eyes.

“You didn’t leave any messages or anything for Andrei, right?” You ask. “I don’t want him to see and freak out.”

Nykki brushes your hair off your forehead and shakes her head. “No, I left a few messages for Martin to call me as soon as he could. I figure I’ll get to Andrei that way. Do you need anything?”

“Just Andrei,” you hiccup a sob, pressing a shaking hand to your mouth. Your other hand hovers over your stomach, afraid to touch it. The bleeding hasn’t stopped, so despite what the nurse said, you know it’s a miscarriage. Your stomach rolls and you press your lips together tightly so you don’t vomit.

“I’ll get him here as fast as I can,” Nykki reassures you. While you wait for the OB, she absently braids your hair back from your face, tying it off in an efficient, utilitarian French braid down your back. She talks as she works, trying to distract you, and you’re grateful for her efforts even if they don’t work. All you can think about is the little life that had been growing in you just a few hours ago. Your heart lurches painfully when you realize Andrei’s going to find out about the pregnancy and the loss all at once.

The OB is a middle-aged Black woman with a slight Canadian accent who introduces herself as Doctor Hayes and she doesn’t sugarcoat the news, which you appreciate. “I’m very sorry, Mrs. Svechnikov,” she sighs, looking very much like she hates this part of her job. “But you are actively miscarrying right now. We’re going to admit you overnight for monitoring and will reevaluate in the morning.”

Your entire body goes cold at her words and you grip Nykki’s hand - you hadn’t let her leave your side, terrified to be alone. A cramp rips through your lower body and you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood. “What-“ your voice is hoarse and you clear your throat, trying again, “what, um, are the next steps?”

Doctor Hayes rests her hands on the guard railing on your bed. “Well, we’ll have you on a hydration IV throughout the night while we monitor the miscarriage. There may be a need for a D and C, to make sure it’s complete and there’s no tissue left behind.” Your face blanches as she talks. “But all of that will depend on what happens tonight.”

“Thank you,” you murmur and she pats your hand gently, sympathetically, as she leaves. You can hear her giving the nurse instructions and you slump back against the pillows, completely drained.

Nykki checks her Apple Watch and grimaces. “It’s Martin. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Be gentle with Andrei, okay?” You reply, desperately wanting him at your side, but also wanting to protect him from this heartbreak a little longer.

She’s back in a few minutes, after the nurse has started you on an IV. “Martin’s going to bring him over,” she says, sitting carefully on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t tell him why you were here, just that you started to not feel well during the second,” she says. “It sounded like Andrei was halfway out the door before Martin could finish his sentence.”

You nod faintly. That sounds like Andrei. “I hope they don’t get slammed by Rod for leaving…” You twist your wedding rings around your finger, the diamonds catching the fluorescent lighting.

“They won’t,” Nykki says firmly. “He’d have to be a real bastard to punish Andrei for coming to the hospital for you. Besides, someone should’ve been available to get Andrei here earlier! It’s ridiculous.”

“Let him have an extra hour of normalcy,” you sigh, shifting on the bed, sore and uncomfortable.

You’re moved into a private room and given a hospital gown that bares your entire back and ass. A giant pad that’s probably as big as a damn puppy pee pad is wedged in between your legs to contain the bleeding and the IV is tugging unpleasantly at your skin. Nykki’s waiting downstairs to bring Andrei directly to you and you hope he’s here soon because now that you’re alone, the reality of the situation is sinking in and your chest is starting to feel tight. You turn your head and try to bury your face in the pillow, but you catch a whiff of the lingering Tom Ford Lost Cherry perfume you’d applied earlier mixed with antiseptic and sterile hospital smell and your brain briefly registers that it’s a shame, because you really love this perfume and now you’ll never be able to wear it again. Your heart thumps painfully in your chest, a reminder that you’re losing more and more of your baby with each passing second.

You hear him before you see him, the pounding of his footsteps echoing through the hallways. He’s running down the hall, that much is clear, and when you look over at the door, you catch the blur of Andrei skipping completely past your room before he doubles back and skids to a stop in the doorway.

He looks terrible - hair still damp with sweat, the red mark across his forehead from his helmet is still prominent, and he looks like he got dressed in the dark - or an extreme hurry - in a pair of basketball shorts and his button down with the buttons done up all wrong. But it’s the look of complete panic in his eyes that scares you the most. Andrei never looks that panicked.

“Solnyshka,” he breathes, his shoulders dropping from around his ears. In three long strides he’s at your side, holding your hand, and you finally feel like you can breathe.

“Hi,” you whisper before bursting into tears.

“Hi,” he replies softly, brushing his thumb over your knuckles. His grip is almost painful, but you welcome it as you hiccup. “What’s going on, solnyshka?”

Insanely, the only words that come out of your mouth are, “your shirt is buttoned wrong.”

Andrei looks surprised, “what?” he asks absently as his gaze flickers down to his shirt. He shakes his head, “I rush. Solnyshka,” his voice is high and nervous, “what is going on? Neci didn’t know anything. Just that you’re here, in hospital.”

“I…Andrei, I’m so sorry,” the words rush out of your mouth on a flood of fresh tears. “I was pregnant and now I’m not. I lost the baby.”

You’re not even sure if Andrei can even understand you, you’re crying so hard. But one glance at his face and the completely shattered expression it wears, and you know he understood you. His fingers tighten around yours and he’s shaking his head, hair falling forward over his forehead.

“What? I don’t - a baby?” He rubs at his forehead with his other hand, eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “When did you - why didn’t -“

He can’t seem to get a full sentence out and it only makes you cry harder, your entire body hurting with the effort. You know what he’s asking though.

“Last week,” you manage. “The day after you left. I was going to tell you tonight, but…” You trail off, shrugging one shoulder.

Andrei’s head hangs, chin to chest, and he makes a little noise in the back of his throat. “I’m so sorry, milaya,” he says, voice hoarse. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

The worst of your tears are drying up and you shake your head. “It’s not…I had Nyk. I hate that you had to find out like this. Baby and then no baby, all at once,” your voice cracks and you trace the little embroidered A.S. on his cuff, barely able to look at him.

Your husband sighs and drops his head so he can rest his forehead against yours. He smells like sweat and fear and Old Spice and your throat clogs with emotion again. “I thought…” he breathes. “I hear hospital and I think the worst. I thought the worst.”

This is the worst, you think. The worst possible thing. But you know what he means, that he thought something even more awful had happened to you, that he was worried he lost you because he didn’t know there was something else to lose.

Andrei’s lips brush against your cheek, soft and delicate, the rasp of his stubble a stark contrast. You sit like that, foreheads touching, for who knows how long. Andrei doesn’t cry, but his chest hitches and you think he might, maybe, when it all sinks in. You’re all cried out and now there’s just bone-deep exhaustion.

“i’m tired,” you murmur, the words getting lost between you.

Andrei nods against your forehead and pulls back, looking like it takes him a huge effort to sit back up. He cups your cheek and his thumb strokes a careful arc over your cheekbone. You lean into the familiar gesture, comforted. “Sleep, okay? I’ll…I have to call Rod. Get my stuff. I’ll take care of everything,” his voice is steady, but his eyes are clouded.

You nod, your eyelids already closing. Andrei gets up and brushes his lips over your forehead, murmuring that he loves you. Once he’s outside the room, you can hear him talking quietly to Nykki and Martin, but your grief and exhaustion pull you under before you can really concentrate on what he’s saying.

Sleep doesn’t last and you’re awake again after a few hours. You blink awake blearily, confused for a second before everything comes rushing back. Andrei’s scrunched up in a chair in the corner, his chin propped up on the palm of his hand, eyes shut. He changed in the time since he left, now dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. His legs are kicked out in front of him, a pair of white sneakers on his feet. You don’t want to wake him, but when you shift, a sharp pain pierces your side and you gasp loudly before biting down hard on your tongue to muffle the noise. It doesn’t work and Andrei’s eyes fly open, his entire body jerking.

“Hey,” he’s at your side in a second, “what hurts? I call a nurse?” His accent is thick with sleep and worry.

You shake your head, the pain subsiding. “I’m fine.” And you are, the worst of the cramps are gone, leaving just a vague soreness and uncomfortable tightness in your chest and stomach. “You should’ve gone back to the hotel.”

“And leave you?” Andrei looks at you like you’re crazy. He shakes his head. “I got my bag and Nykki brought yours back. Do you want anything?”

“No,” you reach for his hand and lace your fingers together. “I just want to go home.”

He nods, looking exhausted. “Me too. I spoke to Rod, if you’re discharged later today then you come with us on the plane. If not, I stay and come home with you when you’re ready,” his lips quirk up at the corner when you start to protest. “Is decided, solnyshka. I’m not leaving your side.”

“But…” you trail off, all the arguments that you can think of fading when you realize that you don’t want to be separated from Andrei, not right now. “Okay,” you whisper.

“Good,” he chuckles under his breath. “I don’t want to argue with you.”

“No arguments from me,” you reply dryly, rolling your head so your cheek is on the pillow and you can look directly at him. “Why don’t you try and sleep some more? I’m not going anywhere.”

His jaw tightens a bit. “Can’t sleep,” he replies, even though you had just seen him asleep. “If the doctor comes, I want to be awake.”

You nod again, sore and tired, and Andrei just sits with you quietly for a while before you think to ask, “how was the game?”

He snorts. “We won, but who cares?” It’s such an unexpected answer - Andrei’s never not cared about winning a game - and it startles you into silence.

A nurse comes in a few minutes later, saving you from having to find an answer. She introduces herself as Kayla and speaks in a soft, but firm tone. You’re starting to recognize the undercurrent of apology and sympathy in the nurses and doctors’ tones and you’re beginning to hate it. Andrei doesn’t let go of your hand while she checks your vitals and puts another bag of saline on the IV pole. “The OB will be in soon to do another ultrasound and see if you need a D and C,” Kayla says gently. “But everything else looks good. You won’t be staying another night and I would guess that you’ll be out of here by early afternoon at the latest, either way.”

You nod robotically, not really absorbing what she’s saying. By this afternoon, everything will be over and you’ll for sure, 100% not be pregnant anymore. It’s a gut punch, even though you knew this was coming. Andrei asks the nurse a few more questions before she leaves, but you don’t really listen, focusing on a small stain on a ceiling tile. It looks like nothing at all, just a blob of brown, but the more you stare at it, the more your vision unfocuses, the more it starts to look like one of those stereotypical ultrasound blobs.

You don’t even realize that you’re crying again until Andrei wipes the tears from your cheeks. “Try and sleep again,” he murmurs, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “I think you’ll need strength.”

“Can you get me some water?” You ask, running your hands over the braid Nykki had done. It’s so messy and it feels like she fixed it a million years ago, but it was only four or five hours. It feels like another lifetime, sitting in the arena and joking around with her. From halfway through second intermission to a hospital room at 2 a.m. Certainly not how you were picturing the end of your trip to Vancouver.

You think you must fall asleep again because the next thing you know, there’s sun coming through the window and Andrei’s at your side again, his large hand resting on the top of your head, cradling the crown. Unfamiliar doctors and nurses are in the room and they all speak to you and Andrei, but the only words you hear are “incomplete miscarriage” and “quick procedure” before you’re being shuffled off to an operating room. It all happens too fast for you to even be scared and the last thing you remember before the anesthesia is Andrei by your ear, whispering in Russian to you, the spicy scent of his deodorant filling your senses.

Andrei’s there again, when you wake up, eyes looking red and face drawn. You’re barely conscious, but the sigh of relief he exhales permeates the fog. His hand is warm in yours and you manage a weak smile at him. “Hey there handsome,” you croak and he laughs weakly. “Miss me?”

“You…” Andrei coughs, “I love you very much.”

“Love you,” your words slur a bit. “I wanna go home.”

“Soon, solnyshka,” Andrei promises, stroking your hair. “Soon.” He’s still stroking your hair when you fall asleep again.

When you wake up again, the overwhelming sense of emptiness is what you notice first. Then Andrei comes into focus again, his weight of his head resting on your leg, his hand on your hip. You’re not sure if he’s awake or not, but you gently run your fingers through his hair and he looks over at you, shifting.

“Hi,” he murmurs, dark circles under his eyes.

“Hi,” you rasp back, fingers still working through his hair.

“How do you feel?”

“Sore, tired,” you hesitate, “empty.”

“Yeah,” Andrei’s reply is barely an exhale. “Doctor said we can go, once they give you the all-clear.”

You nod, chewing at your lower lip. “Andrei,” you choke his name, the words coming out like broken glass, “we don’t have a baby anymore.”

“I know,” Andrei replies simply, sitting up all the way and leaning forward to gather you into his arms. You go to him easily, moving carefully and ignoring the pull of your protesting muscles, and bury your face against his chest. He’s in the same black t-shirt and he smells stale now, like he needs a shower desperately, but under that he just smells like Andrei, like home, and you cry into his chest, the fabric growing wet under your face. He just holds you, his arms a strong cage around your back, his hands running up and down your back. Everything in your body hurts, but nothing more than your heart.

Throughout the next few hours, when you’re given a clean bill of health, instructions to take it easy and abstain from sex or using a tampon for three weeks, and discharged, Andrei is a rock. He’s right at your side, helping you get dressed in the soft joggers you were using as pajama pants and an oversized hoodie. He laces up your sneakers for you and carries all the bags out to the waiting Uber. You were discharged in time to make the team flight home, but after hearing Andrei on the phone before the doctor came in for your exam, you kind of suspect that he may have pressed Rod to change the travel plans. You can’t even start to think about what he’s done for you, exhaustion seeping to your bones.

No one says anything to you when Andrei ushers you onto the plane, but Neci gives you a small smile and squeezes your hand when you walk past him. You return the smile, feeling awful that Nykki has to fly home on her own. She’s been texting, checking in on you, and you haven’t answered yet, too distracted to deal with even holding your phone. Andrei bundles you into a seat near the back of the plane and wraps his jacket around you.

“Thanks,” you say quietly, resting your head against his shoulder.

“Anything for you, solnyshka,” he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “Try and sleep, long flight. I have the pain pills, if you need, okay?”

You nod against his shoulder and wrap his jacket tighter around your body, tucking your hands up into the sleeves. Andrei rests his palm on your knee and before the plane even takes off, you’re asleep.

It’s a long flight back to Raleigh and you don’t sleep the entire way, but after a solid three hour nap, you wake up feeling better. Andrei’s asleep when you wake up, his head dropped back against the headrest, his mouth open slightly. He finally looks relaxed and peaceful and you’re grateful, so grateful, for him.

Your whole body still hurts, but your legs are starting the cramp up, so you carefully shimmy out of your seat to stretch in the aisle. Brady and Jarvy wave at you from a few rows up and you wave back, wondering what they know, if they know anything. No one really tries to talk to you, so you assume Andrei told them that you had some kind of medical emergency. Legs feeling better, you settle back into your seat, finally pulling out your phone and connecting to the in-flight wifi so you can text Nykki.

She reassures you that none of the other guys know what happened and that if you need anything when you’re back in Raleigh to let her know. You’re blessed to have such a good friend in her and you thank her, thinking that maybe in a few days you’ll see if she’ll bring Gigi over for some puppy cuddles.

Andrei wakes up about and hour before you land and he gulps back half of a water bottle before he even says anything. Then he tips his head close to yours and whispers, “how are you feeling? Any pain?”

“No,” you whisper back, “I’m okay. Just sore. It’s like being drained after a really bad period. I feel better after my nap.”

“Good,” he pushes the half-empty water bottle into your hands. “Drink.”

“Yes, sir,” you tease, the moment of lightness making you feel a little better. You sip at it slowly, starting to get a little nauseous. Andrei wraps his arm around your shoulder and you lean against him, drawing comfort from his solid warmth.

When you land, Andrei guides you off the plane, his palm reassuring against your lower back. It’s easy to let him take the lead and to not think about anything. He’s got both of your bags and you don’t even put up a fuss when he refuses to let you carry even your purse. You’re just too tired.

Andrei’s car is parked fairly close and you don’t have to walk very far. You lower yourself into the front seat of the Lamborghini, muttering, “I hate this car.” Your stomach gives a protest of pain from having to climb into the car.

“I know,” Andrei laughs a little, loosening up. His string of ugly sports cars is a long running topic of conversation. The last one was orange, the one before that a strange green. This one is electric purple and it’s hideous. His terrible taste in car colors is his only red flag. “Next one will be red.”

“Why couldn’t this one have been red?” You ask, breathing deeply to stave off the nausea. You sink back against the seat and Andrei pulls out of the parking spot. He’s driving must slower than usual and is taking extreme care with navigating the roads.

“This one was only 75 made,” he explains again. “It’s a collectors item.”

“It’s still ugly,” you tease, a smile playing at your lips.

He reaches over and takes your hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss your knuckles. “I love you so much, moya solnyshka, and I’m so…proud of your strength.”

Andrei doesn’t look at you when he says it, but his voice gets thick and he swallows roughly. He continues, “it hurts to know there would’ve been a baby in the summer.” So he did the math, you think. “But, this is maybe the wrong thing to say, but I’m glad I didn’t know before.”

It’s not really the right thing to say to you in the moment, but you can’t blame him. You sniff and nod. “I know. I almost wish I hadn’t known either. It was only a week, but I was so attached to…to the idea of our baby.”

“When you’re ready,” Andrei says slowly, turning to look at you while you’re stopped at a red light, “you tell me and I’ll give you a baby. When you’re ready.”

You nod, unable to even think about trying for a baby right now, but Andrei’s words and his earnest expression make your heart melt. You love him so, so much. “When I’m ready,” you repeat, squeezing his fingers.

When you get home, Andrei runs you a shower and joins you after a minute, soaping up your hair and scrubbing down your body gently. You don’t speak while he works and his touch is nothing but chaste. He’s careful around your stomach and between your legs, impossibly gentle with those huge hands of his. You stand under the spray while he gives his own body and hair a quick wash, the heat of the shower starting to make you a little lightheaded. Right before it gets to the point where you think you’re going to have to say something, Andrei flips the water off and reaches out of the stall for a huge, fluffy towel, wrapping you up in it and rubbing his hands up and down your arms to keep you warm. He grabs another towel and wraps it around his waist, gripping your elbow and guiding you back to the bedroom.

You rummage in his drawers for oversized clothes, not wanting anything constrictive on your body. Once you’re comfortable in an old pair of Andrei’s grey sweats and a threadbare Duke t-shirt, you crawl under the covers and curl up on your side. “Join me?” You ask, looking up at Andrei. He nods, silently climbing into bed behind you and gently scooting you closer to him. The warmth of his body is comforting against your back and he wraps his arms loosely under your breasts, avoiding your stomach. Andrei buried his face in your hair and you let a few silent tears leak out of your eyes.

What did you do to deserve this wonderful man?

With Andrei’s arms around you and your heart heavy in your chest, you fall asleep again, but it’s unsatisfying. After a few hours, you need food even though you’re still nauseous. Andrei makes himself a sandwich and warms up a can of chicken soup for you and you eat in bed, a rerun of The Nanny on TV. Andrei doesn’t really get the show - the humor is too specific - but he does like to point out all the outfits that Fran wear and he thinks you can pull off. It’s a nice distraction.

You take the next few days off of work, just to recover, but Andrei isn’t as lucky. You’re mostly fine physically except some lingering soreness, most of your problems are mental. After talking about it on the way home, neither you not Andrei has really brought up the miscarriage.

Two days after the miscarriage, the team is playing at home and Andrei’s right there in the middle of it all. You don’t watch the game, still too raw to watch hockey after what happened in Vancouver, so it’s a little shocking when he comes home with a blackened right eye and a cut across his nose and part of his cheek. “What happened?” You yelp upon seeing him, getting carefully to your feet and reaching up to lightly touch the side of his face.

Andrei grunts. “Distracted, got hit,” he winces when he moves his face.

You feel awful, knowing he was distracted because he was worrying about you. “Luckily it didn’t need stitches,” you say softly. “Can’t have anything ruining that pretty face,” you tease him lightly.

He gives you a tight smile and his gaze flickers down to your stomach, covered in an oversized sweatshirt. You catch his look and brush your thumb over the edge of his jaw. “I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me so much,” you say. “I’m tough. I’m strong.”

“I know,” Andrei sighs, dropping a kiss to your forehead. He hesitates, wanting to say more, and you wait. “At the game,” he says slowly, “Burnsie, Staalsy, they had their kids there. I couldn’t help…I was picturing…”

Oh.

Your heart cracks right over the scabs that had been forming the past two days and fresh pain floods your veins. “Drei…” you’re not even sure what to say to him. You knew he was sad, but you hadn’t really thought about how deep his feelings went.

He smiles sadly at you. “Today, it hit me,” he says, twisting his lips. “We lost a baby.”

“Yeah,” you reply, throat tight. “We did.”

Andrei pulls you close, twisting his hand in the end of your ponytail. “I wasn’t expecting it to hurt like this, when I didn’t even know for very long,” he murmurs and you can feel a few tears drip onto the top of your head. You wrap your arms around his waist tighter.

“I don’t think that matters,” you mumble. “It hurts no matter how long you knew about it.”

You can feel Andrei’s head turn, his cheek pressing against the top of your head. You just stand there in his arms, holding tightly to the only other person that’s feeling the same pain as you. The longer Andrei holds you, the more you feel your fragile heart mending itself, the steady beat of his heart a constant under your cheek.

After that, things slowly start getting back to normal. You’re physically healed and cleared to resume normal activities. Andrei’s not so distracted during games. You can go hours, days without thinking about the baby that’s gone.

Andrei mentions it, off-hand, about a month after you get home from Vancouver, after he’s back from another quick road trip. “We could’ve been telling our families about the baby at Christmas,” he’s clearly been thinking about it.

You nod, a little startled by his comment. “Probably, yeah. Or we would’ve told them already, too excited to keep a secret,” you smile a little to yourself, thinking about how Andrei almost spoiled his proposal twice before he actually popped the question because he was so excited.

He grins at you, dimple popping, and pushes a slim box across the table at you. “Early Christmas present,” he says, answering your unasked question.

Looking at him suspiciously, you pop the lid on the jewelry box, finding a thin gold chain bracelet with two delicate charms on it - the common blue and white Greek mati to ward off the evil eye and a little horizontal cross attached at each end to the chain. You trace your fingers over the chain and look up at Andrei.

“A little luck?” He says, lifting one shoulder. “I saw it in a store window, in Long Island, before we played. Made me think of you.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, getting out of your seat to kiss him softly. You trace your tongue over his lower lip and desire stirs in your stomach, something foreign after the last few weeks, but oh so familiar. You’re not quite ready to have sex yet, but it’s a good reminder that you will one day soon. “It’s perfect.” You hold out your wrist and Andrei clasps the bracelet on.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he says, reminding you of the promise he made in the car.

“Whenever I’m ready,” you repeat, crawling onto his lap and letting him hold you. The thought of getting pregnant again doesn’t make your chest feel quite as tight anymore, doesn’t get the panic alarms ringing in your head. Andrei’s been so patient and gentle, making everything just a little bit easier to bear.

Every day just reminds you that as long as Andrei’s by your side, you can handle anything life throws at you.

He kisses the side of your head and holds you close, chasing the shadows of grief away.

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Your Grounding Glacier, My Blazing Star

Author: Inkblooded Witch

Artist: TwinOne

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean, Benny/Balthazar, John/Mary, Naomi/Ishim, Crowley/Bobby, Hannah/Akobel, Rapheal/Victor, Micheal/Miriam, Elijah/Ingrid, Adina/Daniel, Anna/Gadreel, Muriel/Constantine.

Length: 63000

Warnings: N/A

Tags: Sci-Fi AU, Omegaverse, Fake Relationship to Lovers, Elemental AU, Alpha! Castiel, Omega! Dean, Fluff, Smut, D/S Elements.

Posting Date: November 7, 2024

Summary:   Castiel has spent years keeping his head down, playing the long game. His plans are unexpectedly moved ahead of schedule when he is summoned to the year’s Unity Event by his parents, leveraging their position as head of both the Krushnic family and business to get him there.    His first time back in the Orion system in years is for the singular purpose of being mated off to his family’s advantage. Bracing himself for the longest two weeks of his life turns into something else, when he learns that the Omega he had a literal run-in with on the day he arrived is technically a crown prince. Dean has a similar issue of his own to contend with. Just because his parents don’t intend to force him into a political marriage doesn’t mean a small army of officials and rich merchants don’t want to try anything. They hatch a plan, pretending to court each other, knowing the other would be a dream match for their respective lines. It works well, too well. Castiel hadn’t expected to start really caring for Dean, much less for it to be mutual.

Excerpt:   A scowl crossed Castiel face when he realized there was no option on how the call this time. Visual only. He couldn’t just do an audio call. Wonderful.    Wandering into his living room, Castiel answered, watching as his father’s visage appeared over the com unit. A bust of the man regarded the younger Alpha, tone crisp as he said, “Hello, Castiel. How kind of you to pick up.”    “I have received your official messages, father,” Castiel reminded him. “I know what you want. I have no interest. There’s nothing to discuss.”    “On the contrary, I have plenty to discuss with you. Is this any way to treat your benefactor?”    It took biting his own tongue to keep from challenging that last bit. Ishim had not been his benefactor in years. Thankfully, either Phyllis hadn’t mentioned it or he hadn’t bothered to check. Probably both. The accountant that handled his personal accounts had always been very nice, and she was prone to siding with his children over Ishim himself. Castiel had had no cause to contact her of late, but he did touch base on occasion, and always made sure to send flowers on her birthday.    “No more excuses,” Ishim was saying. “I know very well you’re back in the Delta sector. You are going to clear your schedule, and you are going to come out to the Gaia Station next month.”    “Surely you have more suitable representation options- ”    “Castiel Emanuel Krushnic, I’ve had enough of this. We both have.”    “Mother,” Castiel greeted, as the hologram expanded to include Naomi’s bust alongside Ishim’s. “How are you?”    “Don’t you dare patronize me,” she warned. “It’s been three years since there has been suitable representation at the Unity Event.”    One of the first lessons Castiel had learned was the art of a mask. At this point he was convinced someone could be stabbed to death in front of him and he could maintain the facade of polite interest. His body language matched it, but his scent was harder. It had taken a lot of practice, and the way this day was going, he’d need to brush up.    Visage unphased, Castiel pointed out, “Micheal makes it a point to attend each year. He’s a fixture. And now that Rapheal’s pregnancy is no longer a hindrance she intends to- ”    “That is not what we mean.”    “I thought you would be grateful, I am going out of my way not to be an embarrassment. You recall, don’t you, mother? These things are hardly my strong suit.”    “You will attend or there will be consequences,” Ishim snapped. “We have arranged for your passage on the next passenger transport to Gaia Station, and if you are not on it you won’t like what happens. Is that understood?”    “I do, father.”    When the call ended, Castiel could hear his apartment’s defrosting system kick in. He glanced down at himself, scowling when he realized frost was starting to climb down his limbs. He really was out of practice.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[kaihuntrr]

part thirty/closing remarks: author's closing notes

Ending notes to the fic before it returns on the 27th of November!

Hello! Kai, speaking here, post-birthday time (though I have a lot of commitments to do for the upcoming days, haha)! Technically it’s still the 18th in some other parts of the world, so it’s still technically my birthday, so I’m happy to say that Act I is well and truly over. This has been SUCH a while ride and I’m excited to embark on the next one. Now that I’m talking about it, I’d like to be a little mushy about my feelings on it since I’ve been having so much fun writing it. 

Truely, The Sea Prince was just meant to be a personal project of mine that I thought I could just scatter bits and pieces of over on tumblr to see if people actually wanted to get interested in it. I didn’t expect gaining friends and having a bunch of people really get invested with what I have! Still, I’m happy to have gotten a strong audience, and I hope the next act is welcomed with open arms. 

With some tentative planning, Act II is due to set sail on November 27th! 

This is so my co-writer and I can build up a bulk of edits and backlogs for the fic to keep that consistent, every-other-week schedule! It also just so happens that a new life series is around the corner, so perhaps it’ll help stoke some future things for acts III to V? We shall definitely see! 

Anyway, that’s enough rambling from me. Before I go, I want to give out a short excerpt of the prologue for Act II, just so you all have something to chew on before the upcoming Life Series! <3 Take care everyone, and I’ll see you on the 27th, should everything go according to plan! (If not, best to check out tumblr, but I’ll do my best to keep on schedule <3)

———

Another day, another perfect time to set sail.

Another chance to strike at the beasts that terrorized the people.

Grian stood proudly at the bow, facing the large iron gate in the distance. He saw the large shadow cast by the stone walls, its darkness providing a sense of safety to the town’s citizens with  a glint of the canons that adorned the top. It was a ready defense from any invading monsters, though they never dared to swim close to the islands. Maybe those monsters had some intelligence after all if they knew to stay away from the kingdom. They were protected by the king, the navy, and the hunters, each one ensuring humanity could live and thrive within the walls. It was good. It was perfect. 

It was home. 

It was going to be another exciting day. The crew planned to sail off into the sea, to find some beasts to kill, and to return to the love and warmth of the people and recover. Prepare, leave, kill, return, rest, then repeat. The simple, monotonous life of a hunter was easier said than done. A lot of hunters risked their lives every day to keep the people safe and sound. It was one of the most noble deeds a person could do in their life- it was even more noble to be acknowledged by the king himself. 

One day, this crew was going to earn the king’s approval. They had already slain small packs of those disgusting monsters, an impressive feat compared to the one or two beasts other crews their age had taken down. It was only a matter of time before the king addressed him, his brothers, and their crew. Then, they’d be hunters for the king– better than all the rest! It was going to be one of the best days of their lives, he just knew it. 

After all, he was the cunning Grian Solidarity. He was the youngest of his family and had the biggest hunger to prove himself on the wild seas. He and his brothers had made this crew not too long ago, and with how much money they’d been raking in, they just had to be the best out of all the people their age! The amount of people who had looked down on them for just being green, overeager upcomers wasn’t surprising, but Grian could bet those people were eating their own insults now. They just had to be!

Grian rested his hands on the railing, breathing in the fresh air, and hummed in delight. The ship was prepared to set sail and the others would likely return before the gates were scheduled to open. He’d done his part- checking on the weapons and restocking the ship with ammo was pretty easy when he was with Mumbo and Scar- so he had the luxury of sitting back, relaxing while waiting for the others to get on board–

“Grian?” He jumped at the sound of his name. He turned around to see Joel looking around, worried. “Have you seen Jimmy? I haven’t seen him anywhere.” Grian frowned, suddenly concerned.

Jimmy had been acting weird lately. Not only had he gotten that flower tattoo out of nowhere, but he’d been acting a lot more aloof on their hunting trips too. He’d been acting like that for a couple of months at least. He had been pretty scared of the ocean before, when they were younger, but a little exposure therapy didn’t hurt and he’d been fine. It also wasn’t the first time that he had wandered around like this- but he usually came back well before the ship would set sail.

Grian hummed, trying to recall if he had seen his brother in the past few… hours, probably. He ran through where he’d last seen the other members of their crew. He’d seen Cleo hanging around with Mumbo, Scar and Bdubs were doing something together, and Lizzie was out in the port talking to Martyn before he was due to set off with the Kestrels. Grian remembered catching Joel glancing at Lizzie a dozen times earlier, silently wishing she could join them on their hunts. “...No, I haven’t,” he finally said, putting a hand on his chin. “Any idea where he’d be?”

“No, that’s why I was asking you in the first place…,” Joel grumbled. “He’s probably in the harbor somewhere, let’s go look for him.”

“But I just got comfortable…,” Grian jokingly complained. One sour look from Joel made him roll his eyes and relent. Jimmy knew this town like the back of his hand, just like the rest of them. He wasn’t lost, Grian was sure of it. “Fine. But Tim’s probably just wandering around again. You know how he is.” He shrugged. Joel made a small frown and sighed, but followed Grian as the two descended from the ship and into the hustle and bustle of the port town behind them.

To be continued in Act II: Bait.

[cliperry]

ONE DIRECTION: Japan Visit - Member Roundtable

"Work and play to the fullest, and be kind to others... That’s the rule within the band." – Harry

Interview: Yuko Kato Photos by: Chiaki Oshima

One Direction's first visit to Japan was like a whirlwind, even in hindsight. Officially, only Zayn was absent from events, but the entire group endured an incredibly packed schedule. Despite their exhaustion, they remained warm and friendly whenever we met for interviews, which was truly impressive.

What follows is an exclusive interview INROCK conducted with them during their visit!

Zayn, how are you feeling? We heard you weren’t able to attend yesterday’s press conference due to illness.

Zayn Malik: Yeah, my stomach wasn’t in great shape. I think I caught a stomach bug. Before coming to Japan, I was in Ghana, and I wasn’t feeling too well there either. Then, when I woke up yesterday morning, it had gotten worse—it was the worst.

But by that evening, you still performed on Music Station, right?

Zayn: Yeah, I rested in the hotel for a few hours to recover, and by the evening, I was feeling much better.

With such a crazy schedule, do you guys often get sick like this?

Louis Tomlinson: Not really. We do get pretty sleep-deprived, but that’s about it.

Niall Horan: Yeah, sometimes working long hours can make you feel a little unwell, but it’s not too bad.

At the press conference, you announced that you’ll be coming back to Japan in November for your tour, right?

Niall: Yeah, on November 2nd and 3rd.

By the way, in December, you’ll also be performing at Madison Square Garden in New York…

Louis: The Clumsy One?

Louis can be a bit absentminded at times. During an interview in the U.S., he accidentally placed our recording device on his lap, and when he laughed, it fell to the ground—completely wiping out all the data!

The staff turned bright red with frustration, and it almost became a big issue. But Louis, ever the mood-maker, quickly turned things around, joking that it was his own fault and offering to redo the interview.

"In our upcoming movie, you’ll get to see a lot of our personal sides too." – Louis

ONE DIRECTION: MSG Performance & Their Growth as a Band

"Work and play to the fullest, and be kind to others… That’s the rule within the band." – Harry

Interview: Yuko Kato Photos by: Chiaki Oshima

You performed at Madison Square Garden (MSG)! That must have been incredible to witness.

All Members: Thank you!

I also saw your show in Oakland a few months earlier, and it felt completely different. It’s amazing how much you've grown as a band and as performers. How did you achieve such growth?

Louis Tomlinson: I think it’s thanks to the daily rehearsals and the experience we’ve gained as a band.

Zayn Malik: Yeah, for all of us, this is our first band. None of us had been in a band before One Direction, so at the beginning, everything was new. But we've worked hard every single day. There are still so many things we need to improve on, but we always want to keep growing. We’re willing to do anything to make that happen.

Niall, you play the guitar—was that your idea?

Niall Horan: Yeah, I’ve been playing since I was a kid.

Since you were around 12, right?

Niall: Yeah, 11 or 12. I wanted to play in this band too, and I’m playing on this tour.

I heard you’re interested in becoming a producer in the future?

Niall: Yeah, someday, I’d love to try producing.

Did you learn anything through recording your new album, Take Me Home, that could help with that?

Liam Payne: This time, we spent a lot more time in the studio with the producers, so we learned a lot. It was a completely different experience from last time, and it felt like we were much more involved in the process.

You all contributed to this album quite a bit, right?

Niall: Yeah, definitely. It felt like we had more input this time.

Zayn: The great thing about working in the studio is that you learn things without even realizing it. We were lucky to work with amazing producers who gave us a lot of advice. We’re really grateful to them.

Songwriting & Creative Input

This time, you guys also wrote songs yourselves. Do you think that’s important for the band?

Louis: Yeah, of course. We want to write as much as possible. It’s our album, so we want to express our feelings through it.

How many songs did you write for this album?

Zayn: We wrote five songs. Like Louis said, we wanted this album to have a piece of us in it. We wanted to prove that what we’re singing about actually comes from us. That’s why songwriting was really important to us.

Are you still working on new songs for the next album?

Zayn: Yeah, we’re still writing. Sometimes a song idea just pops into my head when I’m doing nothing, so I record it on my phone. Then, a few months later, when we all meet up for a session, I’ll say, “Hey, I had this idea a while back—what do you think?” Thanks to modern technology, we can record ideas anytime, anywhere, which is really cool.

Upcoming Movie & Behind-the-Scenes Footage

Your movie is coming out this summer (with a Japan release on November 1st). I heard you also filmed in Tokyo?

Zayn: Yeah, we did.

What’s the concept of the movie?

Zayn: It’s basically a documentary.

Louis: Yeah, it also includes tour footage.

Zayn: It follows us from the beginning until now, showing what we’ve done along the way. Fans will get to see what goes on behind the scenes. We really want people to know more about us, and we tried to make it as real as possible.

Will there be personal scenes as well?

Zayn: Hmm… maybe! (laughs)

Louis: Haha, yeah, of course! Fans will see a lot of personal moments, not just the things they already know about us.

Will your family and friends be in the movie?

Louis: Yeah, I think there will definitely be interviews with our families and friends.

Life Off-Stage & Inside Jokes

You guys seem really close. What do you usually talk about when you’re together?

Liam Payne: You probably don’t want to know… (laughs).

Niall: (laughs) Oh, come on! Tell us!

Harry Styles: Hey, by the way, do you want something to drink?

No, I don’t need a drink—I need you to answer the question! (laughs)

Louis: We talk about football, video games, girls…

Liam: Scuba diving, canoeing…

Louis: Horses…

Liam: Archery…

Louis: Murder… (laughs). Nah, just kidding! But yeah, that’s about it.

Harry: Just normal teenage boy stuff—sports, girls, that kind of thing.

Louis, you’re known for loving shopping. Did you buy anything in Japan?

Louis: I bought some robots.

Wasn’t it Zayn who bought the robots?

Louis: I bought some too. And a Polaroid camera. That’s about it.

What about the other members?

Harry: I bought some clothes, including a Hard Rock Café Tokyo T-shirt. Oh, by the way, your glasses are really cool—I like them.

Oh, thanks! (laughs) By the way, Liam, I heard you’re really sensitive and that you don’t even use restaurant spoons? Is that true?

Liam: Yeah, it’s true. I have a phobia of restaurant spoons—I don’t know where they’ve been!

Louis: Apparently, he once had a bad experience… something about a spoon getting stuck somewhere it shouldn’t have… (laughs). (Editor’s Note: Obviously a joke!)

Do you have any other phobias?

Louis: Well, we all have sensitive spots on our bodies… (laughs).

All Members: (laughs).

Final Thoughts & Upcoming Goals

Louis, people say you’re really kind and thoughtful. Is that true?

Louis: I’d like to think so, yeah.

Liam: Louis has the biggest heart.

Louis: Thanks, mate. (laughs)

I heard you text your mom often so she doesn’t worry about you?

Louis: Yeah, that’s true.

And when you were little, she used to call you "Boo Bear"?

Louis: Haha, yeah… it’s a little embarrassing, but it’s true. My mom always called me "Boo Bear" when I was little.

Harry, I heard your motto is to always be kind to others.

Harry: I try to be, yeah.

But you’re such a big star—you don’t have to be kind! Where does that attitude come from?

Harry: That doesn’t matter. Being kind is just important, no matter who you are.

What’s your next big goal?

Louis: Performing in Japan!

That’s not that big, is it?

Zayn: No, it’s a huge deal!

Niall: Also, we hope our movie does well.

Zayn: Yeah, definitely.

Niall: Right now, we’re preparing for our world tour. We want to make sure it’s a success, and most of all, we just hope our fans have fun.

Will the Japanese show be the same as MSG, or will it be different?

All Members: Totally different!

Zayn: It’s going to be way bigger.

Harry (in Japanese): Ganbarimasu! (I’ll do my best!) (laughs).

[rellsingsovern]

There’s no grounds, Jawbone!

On Wednesday afternoon, three days before spring break, The Bad Kids receive their late report cards and open them together. That Friday, they are marched through a door, expecting to die.

The POV of various parents and teachers of The Bad Kids, during the days leading up to the Last Standard Exam.

Chapter 2: Denial (read chapter one on ao3 at rellsingsovern!)

Riz came home exactly when he said he would, which immediately tipped Sklonda off to the fact that something was amiss.

It was late for the town of Elmville, which meant that her night was just getting started. Who says 9:52 pm on a Wednesday night can't be the perfect time to start reviewing her court footage? She’s 20 seconds into the video and three minutes into hitting the refresh button over and over again (curse the Strongtower wifi) when the sound of a motorcycle grumbling up to the building down below blended into the whine of the single fluorescent bulb up in the ceiling of the living room (curse the Strongtower electricity). Her ear flicked of its own accord a few minutes later, registering no footsteps approaching, as to be expected of her rouge son, but picking up the rustling of papers coming from the hallway through the thin walls.

She frowned absentmindedly. Ever since her and Riz had had that talk in November she’d done her best to pay more attention to his habits and tendencies regarding his fucking insane schedule. Much like one of his boards, he kept all his belongings in an ordered chaos she doubted even Pok would have been able to wrap his head around. Sticky notes on papers, papers in folders, folders in binders, highlighters and rubber bands and paper clips in every color made their way from his backpack to his briefcase to his backpack again, leaving Riz his hands free, an intentional move on his part. Wouldn’t be a very good rouge if I couldn’t draw my gun because I’ve got someone’s homework in my hands, he’d quipped to her early in the year, before the bags under his eyes became darker than a bruise and his eyes twitched as much as they blinked, before Fabian started throwing parties Riz for some reason still went to and before Kristen roped him into-

The sound of a pin in the lock snapped her out of her own head and back into her apartment. The part of her that was Sklonda Gukgak: Mom of Riz noticed Riz stumbled through the door lacking his usual grace, most likely due to the backpack that had been progressively more and stuffed full of school supplies ever since Falinell (it made her wonder why he didn’t open his briefcase as often anymore). The part of her that was still Chief Detective Sklonda Gukgak of the Elmville Police Department noticed that in Riz’s hands were his lockpick that he used to enter the apartment and a pile of envelopes and coupon papers that was certainly their mail, bills and coupons and more bills and a dark red envelope with the official stamp of Aguefort Adventuring Academy on it.

And more bills. Great.

Her ear flicked again, and she absent-mindedly thumbed the arrow keys on her crystal laptop, the ones she knew didn’t work anymore, taking in her teenage son who was home before 10 for the first time in a while. “Hey sweetie,” she greeted, eyeing the papers in his hands. She always got the mail, on account of Riz just straight up Misty Stepping into the apartment in a rush between school and his office and school again. “I’m glad to see you, you hungry or anything?”

Riz stepped through the door, closing it behind him, looking down through the lenses of his glasses. “I’m fine, thanks mom. Jawbone ordered Bastion Market.”

She hummed, thinking of the two most recent text messages in her crystal.

3:06 pm

hi mom just finished yearbook club heading to mordred then stand-up night then home around 10 getting rides from fabian love you

4:48 pm

Hey Sklonda Jawbone here, Riz mentioned something about an event he was supposed to attend tonight but he’s decided to stay here for dinner instead, perfectly all right with myself Sandy and Lydia but just wanted to update ya in case you go looking. He’s not taking the grading news too well. I’m sure he’s told you about it but just a heads up. Working on a solution for the kids in the morning, yall hang tight 👍

Riz had, in fact, not told her about ‘it’ yet. Sklonda had had half a mind to call Sandra-lynn to see what Jawbone had meant, but decided to wait until Riz got home, although she had expected to see him way later, if not the next morning. She eyed the red envelope he still held in between his fingers, flicking the lockpick with a small thwack thwack thwack on the seal and wondered if that was ‘it’.

“Thanks for getting the mail, kiddo.” She knows he knows what she’s actually saying. You never get the mail, that’s my job, you’re home early, what are you doing?

What’s wrong?

He shrugged his seemingly 50 pound backpack off his 90 pound body, putting it on the floor but not taking his eyes off it. “Just thought I’d get it on the way up.” His voice says, steady and even-toned.

Former Chief Detective Sklonda Gukgak sees his body language say please don’t question me further.

Hah, Mom Sklonda Gukgak thought to herself. Not a chance in hell.

“Y’know,” she said, closing her laptop and pretending not to notice the way her son’s shoulders rose to his ears immediately. “Whenever you give me a time you’ll be home by, you’re never actually home at that time. And I know you’re very capable, Riz, but I worry about you.”

He muttered something under his breath, holding out the stack of bills to her, holding that damn envelope in his other hand, still not making eye contact.

Riz was a perfect rouge. He had a light step and a light touch and an impeccable aim. He had a brain that ran a million miles per hour and a goblin grit he inherited from his father. He’d been picking the lock to the apartment since he was twelve and learning to shoot a gun since he was thirteen. He was smart, sneaky and secretive.

But he didn’t keep secrets from her.

After Pok died, Sklonda had tried to keep many things from Riz. How scared she was. How exhausted she was. She would throw herself into work then throw herself into bed, crying with her face in Pok’s pillow as the signs of him faded from their life, as silent as she could so Riz wouldn’t hear. His desk became dusty, his razor sat unused, and his pillow stopped smelling like his cologne. She ran and ran and ran from the pain, never thinking about it, closing the door to his office where the ghost of her husband sat until Riz had tried to leave for school one day in shoes too big for him and a briefcase that hadn’t left the apartment in weeks.

At her protests, her nine-year old son had looked at her through his shaggy hair with big, sad, golden eyes. Pok had always been the one who gave Riz haircuts.

You never talk about him anymore, he said. You pretend you aren’t tired all the time and you pretend he’s not gone.

It hurts, mom.

Her beautiful, brilliant, investigative son had deduced what she wouldn’t, what she couldn’t tell him. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

It’s okay if it hurts. I’m still here.

She didn’t open the door to Pok’s room, and she didn’t let Riz go to school with his shoes. But from that day on Riz toted a briefcase everywhere, and on his tenth birthday she gave him a haircut, his own pair of brown loafers (still a little too big, but at the thrift store you take what you can get) and took him to Cravencroft where she whispered all her deepest fears, laid them down on the dirt under her son’s knees and in front of her husband’s grave, confessed to the bone-deep exhaustion that weighed down her arms and her legs and her heart.

Gukgaks don’t give up, Riz whispered back to her, golden eyes shining like suns, an echo of his father’s favorite phrase. She looked at his close-cropped hair and saw Pok. Then she looked at the bags under his eyes and saw herself.

After that Sklonda only had one secret to keep, and Riz had walked into Pok’s room and blew the dust off his desk two years ago in a mighty whirlwind of a 15 year-old detective hot on the case. With the blood of a dragon still hot in her stomach, she and Riz had promised to never hide anything from each other. Not their stress, not their exhaustion, and not their thoughts. Never again did she try to hide her tiredness from Riz, allowing him to replace her cold cups of coffee and lead her to bed on the days when her feet felt like stone, and when he got too jittery and manic with a drive to solve whatever mystery he was currently on she pressed at him until he eventually spilled his guts and she could get him to call a friend for backup in getting him to sleep at least four hours a night. Riz had been raised to notice all he could and never back down, and she had been the one to do it. He had his adventuring party, and she had a new job and new friends, but it was still just the two of them at odds with a world not meant for goblins, two Gukgaks in a shitty apartment, one weighed down with something they wouldn’t confess to and the other who noticed looking up through golden eyes.

Sklonda held out her hand for the red envelope.

Riz, who told her everything, who called her in freshman year every time he discovered something or murdered someone, who as soon as he got back from his spring break quest told her about Pok, who told her about the Loams and the Spies Tongue curse and Fig’s (maybe) god, did not hand it over.

Not a chance in hell.

“I’ll be in my room,” Riz started, leaving his backpack by the sofa as he turned and started away.

“What’s in the envelope, Riz.” She said, pushing as much goblin mom into her voice as possible and knowing it worked when he froze in place. “I don’t like knowing there’s a secret you’re keeping from me.”

“It’s not important.”

“Of course it is.”

He laughed under his breath, still turned away from her. “No, I mean like, it’s really not important anymore. Nothing in there matters.”

“Riz…”

He laughed again, and something in her stomach, a liquid mix of hot worry irritation worry froze into something heavy and cold like dread as his laugh broke into a dry gasp, sharp and cutting. “It’s fine, mom, really.”

“I’m sure it’s not, whatever it is, but I’m sure it’s not that bad either. You can just tell me honey, you know I won’t ever be mad.”

Her words seemed to register and nudge him away from whatever he was spiraling towards, but she still felt her lungs tighten and the cold sharpen in the pit of her stomach. He turned to look at her fully, and she didn't flinch, would never shy away from her son, but his eyes were dull, darker than she’s ever seen, as dark as her own during those first few months of just her and Riz.

He handed her the envelope with shaky hands and in the blink of an eye was suddenly sitting down on the other side of the couch, pressing himself into the flat cushions like they could swallow him whole.

She opened the envelope with no small amount of trepidation, wondering what could be so bad that her son came home at a reasonable time at night.

Reaching inside, Sklonda pulled out two pieces of paper, one significantly bigger than the other. Looking at the smaller one first, her heart at first fell and the soared with pride as she beheld a small slip of paper detailing that her son had earned an A+ in his rouge track during his most recent semester. Student shows signs of mastery at mundane and arcane lockpicking. Student shows signs of mastery at detecting/disarming mundane and arcane traps. Student shows signs of mastery at dealing damage with both short and long range weaponry. Student shows signs of mastery at remaining unseen by others.

The list went on, and she turned to Riz with elation. “This is amazing, Riz!”

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, sinking further into the cushions. “Read the other one before I vomit again, mom.”

She flicked open the larger paper with confusion, starting to read, and with every word the ice in her stomach turned back into red hot anger.

Dear parent/guardian,

Your child, Riz Gukgak, has been moved to PASS/FAIL academic status at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy due to FAILURE/EXPULSION of party member Kristin Applebees. PASS/FAIL academic status will nullify any and all extra credit earned from extracurriculars including athletic teams, school-sponsored clubs, and volunteer work in compliance with the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. Your child will be allowed to remain at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy for the duration of their current school year. They must attend graduation and complete their teacher evaluation(s) in order to be accepted back into the Aguefort Adventuring Academy the upcoming year. If your child is a part of any multiclass program they will not be accepted back into their additional academic tracks and must remain only in their primary class the upcoming year. PASS/FAIL academic status cannot be removed or rectified from a student’s academic transcript with exception of the undergoing and completion of The Last Standard Examination. Please contact guidance counselor Jawbone O’Shaughnessy with questions, comments, or concerns.

Regards,

Interim Vice Principal Jace Stardiamond

Failure. Expulsion.

Kristen Applebees.

“-and I don’t even remember if we’re eligible to take The Last Stand this early in the year or if we have to wait until the last semester, but Kristin will be forced to leave this Friday, so if we can’t take it, I don’t know what we’ll do, Fabian, Gorgug, and Fig will be screwed next year and-“

Her blood was boiling, her ears were ringing, drowning out Riz’s voice.

Failure. Expulsion. Campaign manager. Someone else’s homework. People who call him The Ball.

Kristin Applebees.

“-hates her, and I don’t understand why, it’s just not fair-“

“It’s not fair,” Sklonda hissed out, a mirror of Riz’s, her snarl cutting through the air and making the words die on her son’s tongue. Forcing her hands to be still, pushing down the hot flash of rage in her belly, she schooled herself into the professionalism of Public Defender Sklonda Gukgak. Her son needed the cool head and steady tone that she prided herself on, her analytical eye and her forthrightness.

She could fret later. Her son had been blindsided by something she really should have seen coming ever since November, and it was time to address it.

She continued, voice low, watching her son’s posture relax bit by bit. “It’s not fair. Thank you for showing me, baby. We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

Riz turned to face her fully on the couch, knee nudging hers, and the hotness of worry irritation worry surged behind her eyes for half a second as she noticed a vein on Riz’s forehead that had never been there before. “You’re not mad?”

“No, kiddo, not at you. Never at you.”

“But…” He worried the chain of one of his necklaces between his teeth, a nervous trait he told her he’d picked up over the summer. He had sat up out of the cushions, but his knees were still drawn up uncomfortably, pressing his arms into his chest. “Without the pension, and without the extracurriculars… the scholarships-”

Stress was a thing Sklonda was familiar with. It lived in her apartment walls, on the underside of the peeling wallpaper. It filled the rooms in the flickers of darkness when the lights stopped working. It sat in the bottom of her coffee cups, and she’d admit that she found herself chasing it like her son chased clues, with a lot of intensity and only a little self-awareness. She knows her son too well, just like his mother and father in all the best and worst ways. Riz had too much in common with her, too many bad habits, and she’d sooner go back to her old job than ever let her son send himself more into the same stress-filled state she lived in for his party members.

“It’s not your fault,” she said, shuffling closer and putting an arm around Riz’s shoulders, wincing when she felt they were far too tight. Something in her quietly cooed when he laid his head down on her shoulder, glasses being knocked askew, strands of green hair falling and tickling her chin. “I’m not mad at you. I know how hard you’ve worked this year, and I’m so sorry Kristin messed it up for you.”

The shifting of chains between sharp fangs stopped. “...What?”

She rubbed his shoulder, keeping her voice low and soothing. “You’ve been doing far too much for her since the beginning of the year, Riz, it was really a matter of time before-”

“Mom, stop!”

Worry irritation worry confusion dread pooled in her gut as Riz shoved himself off her side and stood up off the couch furiously. “You can’t say that about Kristin, mom, how could you?”

She blinked hard. “What do you mean, how could- she got expelled, Riz, I know she and Fig aren’t academically inclined but c’mon, at least Fig is actually trying.”

“And what makes you think Kristin ‘isn’t trying’?” Riz scoffed, claws making quotes in the air with a harshness that rivaled when he tore into Kalvaxus two years ago. “She tries harder than the rest of us combined, she works so hard-”

“At what, Riz? Her campaign? The one that you run for her?”

“You don't get to talk about Kristin like that!”

This is exactly the opposite of what she wanted to happen. She wanted to hug her son and tell him it would all be alright while texting Sandra-lynn and Jawbone about what the heck The Last Standard Examination was and how Riz could take it. She could count on her fingers the amount of times conversations with Riz had turned to shouting, and even then they were always family matters, never about his party.

Sklonda loved Kristin, she really did. From the back half of freshman year until spring break of sophomore year Kristin spent a lot of time in Strongtower, rotating between the Faeth house and Gilear’s place down the hall before he moved out, wherever Fig was staying that week. Then it was down a few floors in Jawbone’s; sometimes she could still hear the shrieks of laughter echoing up through the thin floors as a gaggle of 15 year old adventurers ran through the halls far later than they were supposed to (not that she ever had the heart to tell Riz to keep it down when he hung out with his friends). Riz was a quiet kid before he went to Aguefort; Sklonda got the idea that Kristin had never been so. She always said what was on her mind, even if it was exceedingly inappropriate (she’s heard enough stories from Sandra-Lynn about her and Tracker during spring break). Always loud, always chaotic, a girl who jumped from idea to idea like she jumped from home to home.

That was a little cruel of her to think, Sklonda had been the one to order the raid on her house, after all.

Kristin had gotten a little quieter after spring break, Even Sklonda, whose building was no longer the Bad Kid’s default hangout spot, could see that. But she had also gotten a lot more chaotic.

“Kristin’s a good kid,” She said slowly, frowning when Riz shoved his hands under his glasses. “But you have to admit she struggles to stay on track sometimes.”

Riz glared at her through his fingers. “Doesn’t give you the right to insult her.”

“I’m not insulting her! It’s just the facts, sweetie, I know she’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose. But-” She waved the paper towards him, and he flinched away as though she were brandishing a gun. “-there’s two names on this paper, one being my son who joined every single extracurricular at the school and one being a girl who’s name my former coworkers apparently know due to several dropped charges of trespassing at the steelworkers factory?”

“You know I’ve probably got stuff on me too, mom, my midterm in December was to break into a warehouse downtown and plant a non-lethal arcane grenade set to go off when discovered.”

She remembered. It hadn’t gone off until February. He’d gotten an A+.

“That’s different, and not the point. Yours was an assignment for school, and Kristin’s apparently not been doing hers.”

“She’s got reasons to struggle, her god died, mom, I was there-“

“She can still cast, can’t she? You do everything for her, why can’t she at least maintain a C?”

“Oh my-” Riz dragged his hands down his face, muffling his next words. “You don’t understand-”

“Riz, I just worry that-”

“It’s not Kristin’s fault!”

“Then who’s is it?”

“I’m trying to explain-”

“Riz, don’t make excuses for her, she brought this on her-”

A sound filled the room, a short, sudden thing that sliced through the air. Riz’s eyes went wide, claws half curled at his side, and she realized the sound had just come from him.

Pressing his lips together as though he could stop the violent hiss that just came out of his mouth, Riz turned away and fled down the hall to his room, leaving his backpack and briefcase and a burning sensation behind Sklonda’s eyes that she couldn’t tell was rage or tears.

Another swing and a miss from Sklonda Gukgak about her poor, poor, boy.

A light flashed at the corner of her vision, startling her enough that her eyes were pulled away from the corner Riz disappeared behind. It was coming from within the couch cushions, and she reached in to pull out a blinking crystal.

10:02 pm

u alive the ball? kristin and I are still out here i wont leave until you respond

10:03 pm

i know u dont want to but if u told ur mom shed understand im sure of it

10:08 pm

we’re still herwogoTAKD2739/@(

10:08 pm

ITS KRISTIN I STOLE FABIANF S CRYSTL TMRW MORNIGN FIRST THIGN BOBBY DAWNS OFFICS I HAVW AN IDEA

10:09 pm

I L OVE OYU MAN THat assholes gonna pay for failing me on a fuckin technicality

What?

The blood rushing in her ears drowned out the incessant drone of the fluorescent light, but straining her hearing she realized that several floors down there was still the rumbling of a motorcycle.

Someone else’s homework. People who call him The Ball. Campaign manager.

Kristin Applebees had dropped Riz off from her own house, had stayed with Fabian and refused to leave until he texted them back, and here Sklonda was blaming her and probing at her son until he hissed and ran from her.

All sensation left from her, and numbly she got off the couch and started toward Riz’s room, crystal in hand. Stopping outside the closed door, Sklonda didn’t bother to knock. She knew he knew she was there.

The door didn’t open.

I don't understand, I don't have all the facts, I don’t know what’s going on, please tell me, she wanted to yell at the door like making more noise would save her from her mistakes.

“You left your crystal on the couch.” She murmured softly instead.

A pause. More rustling of papers, and when Riz opened the door he was holding his glasses in one hand and what looked like a map in the other, eyes dark. She held the crystal out.

He took it gingerly, and the numbness faded by just a little bit when his eyes got a little brighter, flicking over the crystal screen. He didn’t smile, but his face lost a little bit of tension.

He bit his lip and looked at her. “… I’m sorry I hissed at you. I didn’t mean to.”

She tried to smile, but wasn’t sure she succeeded. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain, sweetie. I’m all ears.”

He glanced at his crystal again, something changing in his posture. For a moment she was afraid he would close the door again, and even though she wanted nothing more in the world than to demand answers, she would let him.

“I don’t think I want to talk about it anymore tonight.” He said slowly, cautiously.

Sklonda nodded, thinking desperately about asking Sandra-Lynn out for drinks tomorrow.

“I just…” Riz looked down at the map in his hand, the words Ashgrove Cemetery scrawled in his handwriting at the top. “We’ve all worked so hard, Fig and Kristin and everyone, and-”

He swallowed. “I was gonna find the rouge teacher, mom. And now it doesn't matter.”

She could think of a million things to say, but all that came out of her mouth was, “Gukgaks don't give up.”

Her brave, smart, resilient, beautiful son’s eyes filled with tears, and he shut the door to his bedroom.

Stumbling back to the living room, Sklonda clumsily grabbed her crystal from the coffee table and sent a text, claws clicking against the screen.

10:13 pm

Jawbone, Riz just got home. What is The Last Stand?

The rumbling of the motorcycle faded from earshot. A few minutes later, her crystal lit up.

That oh so familiar heaviness of exhaustion and fear, the stress that lived in the bottom of her coffee cups, in the papers spilling out of Riz’s backpack hit her like a truck as she read Jawbone's response.

The lights flickered, and in the flash of darkness she saw a vision of her son, slumped over a desk, a paper in front of him with a dark red A+ written in goblin blood.

[wynnyfryd]

trailer park AU schedule update

well first of all:

holy shit we made it!!! can’t believe November’s over already

secondly, i want to thank everyone who has read along up to this point. this story started as a 500 word drabble, and now it’s the longest fic i’ve ever written. like, i published over 30,000 words in just over a month thanks to y’all, when i’ve previously never managed to write more than 12k of a story without losing interest. that’s wild!! not to be a sappy little bisexual about it, but your constant encouragement and enthusiasm have been unbelievably motivating, and i’ve had so much fun reading all of your comments and theories along the way, and i love you very much and your hair looks really pretty.

thirdly, this fic isn’t going anywhere! i’m just as invested as y’all at this point lol. updates will slow down a bit going forward because writing publishable content 5-7 days a week is an absurd pace that i never intended to continue beyond november, but i plan to keep writing until the story’s done. expect updates to be more like 3-4 times/week from here on out.

if you still want to follow along in real time, you can:

turn on blog notifications for me

follow the tag #trailer park steve au

join the tag list (if you’re over 21)

and if you prefer to read along as chapters come out, you can subscribe to the story on ao3

thank you all again 🩷 this has been the best not-really-nanowrimo of my whole life, and i’ve been doing this event since i was 16. kissing u real gently on the forehead etc.

[demigodsanswer]

Percabeth dance au/baby fic

Twice Upon a Pointe baby au is on the way I promise. Here's a preview! M rated for baby making

A month before their wedding, Annabeth handed Percy a detailed schedule of when she wanted to have kids. 

Kids were a must for Percy, but he didn’t care how or when they happened. They were obviously much more of a sacrifice for Annabeth, who wouldn’t be able to dance on stage for many months, functionally sacrificing nearly a year of performance time in an already short career. He told her that they could wait until she was older, start sooner, find a surrogate, or try to adopt. Anything worked for him. 

Annabeth was not as much of a go with the flow person. She had the timeline of their family mapped out. They’d get married shortly after she turned thirty, and they’d start trying a year and half later. They wanted two, maybe three kids, and she wanted at least a year of dancing in between. 

“I want to make sure I’m dancing for The Nutcracker when I’m thirty-six, since that will be my twentieth anniversary with City Ballet,” she said, pointing to this break on the schedule. “So if I’m not pregnant by November when I’m thirty-five, we need to pause.” 

Percy looked at the time line. The hard deadline for babies was when she was thirty-eight. “I want to make sure I still have a few more good years of dance too,” she said. 

“This is remarkably thorough,” Percy said. “Trust me, I’ll do my best, but these things don’t always go according to plan,” he reminded her. 

She just kissed him. “I’ve built in plenty of wiggle room.” 

~ 

When Nutcracker season ended Annabeth had an appointment to have her IUD taken out. Birth control was replaced with neonatal vitamins, and spontaneous passionate sex was replaced with obligatory every-other-day sex (something about higher sperm counts). Percy couldn’t exactly complain, though. 

They’d been married for a year and a half, and so, according to Annabeth’s plan, it was time to get moving on baby number one. 

Really, they were both bouncing off the walls excited about their next step. They avoided telling people they were trying -- “It feels weird to announce to people that we’re fucking bare back regularly,” Annabeth had said -- which added to the excitement. Even before the baby was conceived, they had a little secret between the two of them. 

But by April there was still no baby. 

They had promised each other that sex wouldn’t become a chore, that they’d find ways to keep it interesting. But it was starting to drag on them. The Spring season didn’t make it any easier. 

Chiron had put another two weeks of Sleeping Beauty on the program, but he did it at the end of Spring for maximum exhaustion. 

Percy and Annabeth stumbled into their apartment, Percy already on Uber Eats to lock down dinner and fast, both exhausted from hours of rehearsals for Beauty and then a night of performances of ballet rep. 

“That was easier five years ago,” he complained, flopping onto their bed while Annabeth shuffled into the bathroom. He picked out her favorite tacos, selected sauces on the side, and threw in some extra chips and guac before getting on with his own order selection. 

He’d almost made up his mind when Annabeth opened the bathroom door and sighed heavily.

“Terrible news,” she said. 

Percy sat up in a panic. “What? What is it? What happened?” 

“I’m ovulating. We need to have sex tonight,” she said. 

It was supposed to be an “off night,” where the sexiest thing they did together was eat take out. 

Percy flopped back onto the bed, sighing dramatically. “Oh will the horrors of this day never end!?” He cried out in mock-distress. “Come here, gorgeous,” he said, opening his arms to her. She crawled into his embrace. “Let me just place this order. I’ll have you knocked up before the food arrives.” 

Their sex was very … Catholic: relatively passionless, missionary position, all in the service of reproduction. 

Percy was still a good man and a better husband. He made sure there was enough foreplay to make sure she got off at least once, but the actual penetration was … well, fine. It did the job. Or, more like he did his job. 

Percy finished with a grunt, burying himself inside her as she moaned. He leaned down and kissed her as he pulled out. It wasn’t the most exciting sex they’d ever had -- not even close -- but he still felt the incredible intimacy of the moment. 

He kissed her again, letting his hand tangle up in her hair, as another one lingered down to her belly. 

Four months. Four months of sex every other day, in positions optimized for conception, and he still hadn’t been able to get her pregnant. She’d been pregnant once before he knew, back when she was twenty-one and with another man. Annabeth hadn’t kept it, but the sheer existence of that clump of cells in her past meant that if there was a fertility issue, it wasn’t hers. 

He kissed his way back up, planting one on each breast, then each collarbone, before finally meeting her lips. 

“What if it doesn’t happen?” He asked through the kiss. 

“It will,” she promised. “It’s only been four months. There’s nothing to worry about.” 

He nodded, although hardly comforted by her assurances.

 “Will you hate me forever if it doesn’t?” He asked.

“Hate you forever?” She asked, resting a hand on his face, forcing him to look at her. He could feel the metal of her wedding ring against the skin of his cheek. “Of course not. Percy --” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close of a hug. “Remember what you told me? That these things don’t always go according to plan. If it doesn’t happen, we figure out a new way, okay?” 

Percy nodded into her shoulder.

“And if it doesn't, we don’t know that it’s you,” she added. 

“You’ve been pregnant before,” he said. 

“Ten years ago, before birth control, before several mental health crises. A lot can change,” she said. “You wouldn’t hate me if it didn’t happen, would you?” she asked. Her tone wasn’t the same as his genuine worry. Percy could tell she was just trying to make her point: if he wouldn’t hate her, of course, she couldn’t hate him. 

Percy kissed her forehead. “Impossible. I could never. That you are willing to do this at all is such an incredible act of love, I can’t even --” his voice broke. 

Annabeth’s eyes started to well with tears too. They almost always did whenever Percy got emotional. Her empathy overwhelmed her. Unlike her, he hardly ever cried, so she knew if he was close it was … a tear traced its way out of the corner of her eyes, and Percy wiped it away, only for several more to follow. Soon her eyes were welling with tears too. Christ, they weren’t even pregnant yet, and they were both already emotional disasters. 

Annabeth pulled him down for another kiss. They let that one linger as Percy wiped the tears that had escaped the corners of her eyes and traced down to her temples. 

Their moment was disrupted by a knock at the door. “That’s the food,” Percy said, pulling himself up and off of her. She had to lay there for at least fifteen minutes to give it its best chance. 

Percy came back in with the bag and a roll of paper towels to keep the bed clean. When he stepped back into the room, he let himself take in the sight of his wife laying there, naked and gorgeous, her legs open slightly, as if waiting for him, the evidence of his recent presence inside her dripping out. 

When they’d stopped using condoms years ago, trusting just her birth control, he’d been so turned on by the sight of his cum leaking out of her it usually led to a second or third round. Now, it was almost disappointing. Come on boys, get back in there. You’ve got a job to do, he tried to communicate with his sperm. 

 Annabeth propped herself up on her forearms. “Are we really going to try and eat tacos in bed?” She asked. 

“I know you’re hungry. I’ll feed them to you and keep the bed clean,” he promised. 

“You’re the perfect man, did you know that?” She asked. 

“I do my best,” he said. He mostly ended up feeding her chips and guac until she felt like sitting up. 

“Could you get me a washcloth,” she asked, scooting herself up. Percy wet one under the bathroom sink, hoping the water wasn’t too hot or cold. 

She dropped it on her nightstand when she was done using it between her legs. “If I don’t get up and wash my hands, will you judge me?” She asked, reaching for a taco. 

“You had my entire dick in your mouth twenty minutes ago,” he reminded her. Annabeth was super hot, but seeing her naked wasn’t enough on its own to make him spontaneously hard and ready for baby making. The number of blow jobs he received had gone up in the last few months, but the number of blow jobs he got to completion had gone down to zero. He was under strict instructions to finish in one place and one place only. It was the best of places, sure, but he could do with a little variety here and there. 

“Great,” she said, chowing down without much care. 

“You know, if you get pregnant tonight, you’ll be pregnant for Sleeping Beauty,” Percy reminded her. 

“I know,” she said, a bite of food in her mouth, but still managing a smile. 

“Do you think you’d still be able to do it?” He asked. 

She nodded. “I’ll be what? Four weeks? We might not even know yet.” She took another bite. 

Percy nodded. “Doesn’t matter, though. We don’t know if that one worked,” he said. 

“One of them will,” She promised, but in her eyes he only saw a desperate look of hope. 

Logically, he knew that, if that were the case, they’d move onto another plan. But they were both so ready, and so hopeful. It needed to happen some time. And, Percy hoped, sooner than later. There was only so much more Catholic Church-approved intercourse he could keep having.

[hornyforherbert]

107,105,104,54,44,3

One of these or maybe 2 with Andrei iosivas???

How Did This Happen? ✧

WC: 2.4k or something like that

CW: Angst, Relationship, I think that’s it??

Prompt 3. “I Love You”, Prompt 44. “How Did This Happen?”

A/N: I’m sooo sorry this took so long I’ve had this request since early november i completely forgot about it half done in my drafts so i just finished it now, i apologize 😭😭

Just a reminder: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. I am not affiliated with Andrei Iosivas or the Cincinnati Bengals in any way.

Please don’t steal my work.

It was a bright Sunday morning in Andrei and I’s cozy house in the suburbs of Cincinnati, Ohio. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, enticing my senses as I prepared breakfast for Andrei and myself. He was finally living his childhood dream, as a wide receiver in the NFL for the Cincinnati Bengals, and I couldn't be prouder of him. I heard him coming down the stairs, his footsteps echoing through the hallway.

"Good morning, beautiful," Andrei greeted me with a warm smile, wrapping his arms around my waist and planting a kiss on my cheek. "What's for breakfast?"

I chuckled, feeling his strength and warmth against me. "Pancakes and bacon, your favorite," I replied, turning around to steal a quick kiss from his lips.

As we enjoyed our breakfast, Andrei shared his excitement about the upcoming game, . "I have a good feeling about today's game. I can't wait to show them what I've got," he said, his eyes sparkling with determination.

"I believe in you, Andrei. You're going to shine out there," I reassured him, placing my hand over his as we sat at the kitchen table. The love and pride I felt for him were immeasurable. Seeing him pursue his passion with such fire was truly inspiring.

As the afternoon approached, Andrei headed to the stadium for the game. I decided to surprise him by attending and cheering him on from the front row of the stands. The energy and excitement in the stadium were infectious, amplifying my anticipation for the match.

The game was intense, each play bringing a mixture of cheers and groans from the crowd. Suddenly, as the decisive play unfolded, Andrei leaped into the air, catching the winning touchdown pass with a stunning display of athleticism.

The stadium erupted in cheers, and I couldn't contain my excitement. "That's my man!" I screamed, my voice blending with the ecstatic roar of the crowd.

After the game, I eagerly made my way down to the field to congratulate Andrei. When I spotted him, a crowd of fans already surrounded him. He caught my eye and flashed a bright smile, making his way through the crowd to embrace me.

"You were amazing out there, Andrei!" I exclaimed, wrapping my arms around him. "I'm so proud of you!” "Thank you love" Andrei said, his eyes filled with joy. "I couldn't have done it without your support. You're my lucky charm."

We made our way back home, our spirits high as we joked and laughed, reliving the exhilarating moments of the game. As the evening approached, we settled in the living room, enjoying the warmth of each other's company.

"I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Y/N," Andrei whispered, his gaze filled with sincerity. "You make everything brighter."

I gazed into his eyes, feeling a rush of emotions overwhelming me. "I love you, Andrei," I confessed, my heart fluttering with love and contentment.

"I love you too," Andrei murmured, his voice filled with tenderness. Time seemed to stand still as we embraced, savoring the depth of our connection.

However, as the days passed, a cloud of unease crept into our lives. Andrei's hectic schedule and commitment to his career began to strain our time together. I missed having him by my side, sharing laughter and quiet moments.

One evening, as I prepared dinner, Andrei arrived home looking exhausted. I could sense the weight of his responsibilities weighing heavily on him. It pained me to see him so drained. ”How was your day, love?" I asked, setting the table for dinner as he slumped into a chair, his weariness palpable.

"It's been a long day, Y/N," Andrei sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I wish I could spend more time with you, but the team's demands are relentless."

I felt a pang of sadness at his words. "I understand, Andrei. I just miss being able to share more moments with you," I admitted, hoping he would understand my perspective.

The following weeks blurred into a routine, our interactions becoming brief and fleeting amidst Andrei's rigorous training and game schedule. I struggled with the growing distance between us, yearning for the closeness we once shared.

After a particularly grueling game, Andrei returned home, his expression weary and detached. I longed to comfort him, but his distant demeanor left me feeling helpless.

"Andrei, are you okay?" I asked, reaching out to touch his arm, hoping to bridge the emotional gap that seemed to form between us. "I'm just exhausted, Y/N," Andrei replied, his voice strained. "I need some time alone to unwind."

Despite my concern, I nodded, giving him the space he sought. As I headed to the bedroom, an unsettling feeling gnawed at me, prompting me to reflect on the changes in our relationship.

The following day, I decided to surprise Andrei with a romantic gesture to reignite the spark between us. I prepared a candlelit dinner and adorned the living room with flowers, hoping to convey the depth of my love for him.

When Andrei arrived home, he seemed surprised by the setup, but his response was not what I had anticipated. "I appreciate the effort, Y/N, but I'm really not in the mood for this," he stated, his tone distant and detached.

I felt the sting of disappointment pierce my heart. "I just wanted us to reconnect, Andrei. I miss us," I confessed, my voice trembling with vulnerability.

Andrei let out a sigh, his expression conflicted. "I'm going through a lot right now, Y/N. I need space to focus on my career," he explained, his words creating a painful chasm between us.

His words echoed in my mind, leaving me feeling adrift and alone. I struggled to comprehend the abrupt shift in our dynamic, the warmth and affection we once shared fading like a distant memory.

Days turned into weeks, and the emotional distance between us felt insurmountable. I spent countless nights immersed in a tempest of emotions, yearning for the love and connection that seemed to slip through my fingers.

One evening, as I sat in our living room, the weight of my unresolved emotions became unbearable. I heard the familiar sound of the front door opening, and I braced myself for Andrei's arrival.

"Andrei, we need to talk," I stated, my voice steady despite the turmoil brewing within me. "I can't continue like this. I miss the warmth and love we used to share."

Andrei sighed, his expression weary. "Y/N, I'm trying to focus on my career. It's a crucial time for me, and I need to prioritize my goals," he explained, his words only deepening the chasm between us.

"But what about us, Andrei? What about our love?" I pleaded, desperation coloring my voice as I grappled with the impending sense of loss. "I just need some space, Y/N," Andrei replied, his gaze haunted by the weight of his ambitions. "I hope you understand."

With a heavy heart, I watched him retreat to the bedroom, a sense of resignation settling over me. The unraveling of our once vibrant bond felt like a cruel twist of fate, leaving me adrift in a sea of heartache.

As the days passed, I found solace in the quiet corners of our home, grappling with the newfound solitude that enveloped me. Memories of our laughter and affection haunted the rooms, a bittersweet reminder of what was and what had slipped away.

One night, as I wandered through the darkened house, a sudden realization dawned upon me. I couldn't linger in the shadows of heartache. I needed to rediscover the light within myself, to find the strength to navigate the uncharted path ahead.

Determination sparked within me, and I made a decision to embark on a journey of self-discovery, to embrace the courage to carve a new beginning amidst the remnants of what once was.

With each passing day, I immersed myself in newfound passions and rediscovered the vibrant hues of life that had dimmed in the wake of heartbreak. I poured my heart into creative pursuits, letting the rhythm of my endeavors heal the shattered fragments within me.

As the seasons shifted, a sense of empowerment blossomed within me, propelling me toward a newfound sense of purpose and fulfillment. I reveled in the joy of unearthing the dormant layers of resilience and resilience buried within.

One radiant morning, as I immersed myself in the melody of a favorite song, the doorbell chimed, interrupting the tranquil cadence. I made my way to the door, a sense of curious anticipation sweeping through me.

To my surprise, a familiar figure stood before me, his eyes reflecting a blend of regret and longing. "Y/N, I've missed you," Andrei murmured, his voice tinged with a vulnerability I hadn't witnessed in so long.

Despite the tumult of emotions surging within me, I remained composed, absorbing his presence with a newfound sense of self-assuredness. "What brings you here, Andrei?" I inquired, refusing to let the echoes of the past cloud my resolve.

"I've realized how much I've missed the warmth and love we shared, Y/N," Andrei confessed, his voice laced with remorse. "I understand the distance I allowed to grow between us, and I want to make things right."

His words held a glimmer of hope, but I knew that mending the frayed threads of our past would require more than words. "Andrei, I've come to understand the depth of my own resilience and capacity for growth," I stated, my voice resonating with newfound clarity.

"I'm willing to work on us, but it has to be a partnership that honors the love and commitment we share," I continued, refusing to dim the radiance of my newfound strength for the comfort of familiarity.

Andrei nodded, his gaze filled with earnest determination. "I understand, Y/N. I want to embark on this journey of healing and growth with you," he affirmed, his words carrying the weight of sincere intention.

As we embarked on the path of reconciliation, we navigated the complexities of rebuilding what once stood fractured. Open communication and unwavering commitment became the foundation upon which we sought to mend the rift that had threatened to sever our love.

We shared moments of unearthing buried vulnerabilities, offered understanding and support, and embraced the intricacies of healing as individuals bound by a love that refused to waver.

With each passing day, our shared laughter and quiet moments wove a tapestry of renewal, breathing life into the love that had endured trials and emerged with a depth that surpassed the remnants of brokenness.

As the days embraced the embrace of a new season, our renewed bond blossomed with a vibrancy that mirrored the journey we had undertaken. The echoes of heartache dimmed in the wake of a love made unbreakable by the trials we had traversed.

One tranquil evening, as we sat on the patio, a sense of contentment enveloped us as the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with a tapestry of fiery hues. "How did this happen?" Andrei mused, his gaze reflecting the serenity that had settled within our hearts.

I smiled, savoring the warmth of our togetherness. "It took courage, resilience, and a love that refused to be confined by the shadows of the past," I replied, my voice tinged with gratitude for the journey that had led us to this tranquil moment.

As we basked in the quiet beauty of the evening, a sense of gratitude swelled within me, an acknowledgment of the love that had endured and the fortitude that had woven us together once more.

The following morning, as I prepared breakfast, Andrei entered the kitchen, his gaze filled with an unmistakable spark of excitement. "I love you," he declared, his voice resonating with an earnest ardor that reignited the flames of our shared love. I chuckled, feeling the warmth of his affection suffuse the air. "I love you too," I hummed, savoring the sweet melody of our rekindled love.

As the day unfurled, we reveled in the simple joys of shared moments, our laughter mingling with the gentle cadence of a love that had weathered storms and emerged unyielding.

As the weeks melded into a dance of cherished togetherness, I found myself immersed in the vibrant hues of a love imbued with a fortitude that had withstood the tests of time and tribulation.

One evening, as we strolled through the serene expanse of a nearby park, a sense of tranquility enveloped us, the tranquility of a love reborn and strengthened by the trials that had once threatened to extinguish its glow.

"I'm grateful for where we are now, Andrei," I murmured, my voice carrying the depth of my gratitude for the love that had found its way back to us.

"Me too, Y/N," Andrei echoed, his eyes reflecting the poignant beauty of our journey. "Our love is stronger than ever, and I cherish every moment with you."

In the embrace of our shared love, we reveled in the poignant beauty of a journey that had led us back to each other, a love revitalized by the fortitude that had refused to succumb to the pangs of heartache.

As the tranquil evenings unfolded into a symphony of cherished moments, our love thrived amidst the tapestry of shared laughter, tender gazes, and the quiet beauty of a bond strengthened by the resilience that had become our guiding light.

Amidst the quiet whispers of an evening bathed in the gentle glow of twilight, a joyous melody soared through our home, the sound of our shared laughter mingling with the vibrant strains of a love reborn from the ashes of past trials.

One tranquil Sunday morning, as sunlight illuminated the contours of our home, Andrei and I found ourselves enveloped in a dance of shared moments, the echoes of our laughter resonating with the radiance of a love revitalized by the fortitude that had led us back to each other.

“I'm grateful for the depth of our love, Y/N," Andrei whispered, his voice carrying the warmth of his affection for me.

"And I'm grateful for the resilience that has bound us together, Andrei," I murmured, savoring the poignant beauty of a love that had endured and emerged with a depth that transcended the echoes of heartache.

As the days embraced the embrace of a new season, we found ourselves immersed in the vibrant hues of a love that had been revitalized by the fortitude that had guided us back to each other, a love unyielding in the wake of past trials.

Amidst the tranquil expanse of our home, the gentle cadence of shared laughter, and the tender beauty of a love invigorated by the resilience that had become our guiding light, Andrei and I reveled in the depth of our shared bond, a bond unbreakable by the trials we had navigated.

[denimbex1986]

'...Mr. Arnold is tempted into the ball by a Doctor Who Annual and is playing the theme in the music shop scene – are you a fan of Doctor Who in real life? And what was it like making those jokes and references in front of the Tenth Doctor David Tennant?

“I’ve always dipped in and out of Doctor Who over the years since Sylvestor McCoy, who was doing it when I first became aware of it when I was growing up. Even if you’re not a fan it’s one of those shows you can’t really get away from, so doing that particular scene in front of David was really fun, and of course Douglas had directed Doctor Who as well. Apart from the amusing situation of two supposed Doctor Who fans talking about Doctor Who without realising they’re in the company of a Doctor Who, I also seem to remember Michael being the one to suggest that he would deliver his “due to problems at the BBC” line directly to David.

Oh, and I think it was actually my idea to grab the annual off the harpsichord before joining the queue behind Crowley at the end of the ballroom scene (which we’d shot weeks earlier at this point). When we were blocking it out and rehearsing I knew I had to leave my position and get to the front for my “surrender the angle” line, and then later it just felt like I wouldn’t leave without the annual so I ran back through everyone to grab it. Nobody seemed to have a problem with me doing that so I just carried on doing it when we shot it! I do remember it being a fun set with Douglas and the team being very open to suggestions.”

How did you balance filming both Good Omens and BBC Ghosts at the same time?

“Luckily both shows were a joy to work on, and everyone seems to know about both of them. We were shooting them in early 2022 and I also had a little part in an ITV drama called ‘Stonehouse’, starring Matthew Macfadyen. I usually never know when I’m working next so to have three great TV jobs at once was very unusual. There was all this date juggling and I actually almost had to turn down Ghosts due to clashes. Luckily both shows had to move some dates so it worked out. But yes, I spent two weeks up in Scotland shooting all that Good Omens ballroom stuff, then I came back down to London to do Ghosts, knowing I’d be back up to shoot my scenes in the music shop in a couple of weeks. Now, when I found out who was playing my wife in Ghosts I couldn’t believe it: Caroline Sheen – Michael Sheen’s cousin! She was amazing and that was another great set in general. I say “set”, but it’s all filmed in that house which surprised me. I’d worked with Kiell [Smith-Bynoe] and Jim [Howick] before, and Charlotte [Ritchie] was in the Good Omens radio play a few years ago and a big fan of the book. Charlotte’s very musical of course and we got talking about my folding keyboard I had for practising my Good Omens stuff, and she ended up setting it up in the house for us to have a play on!

Now, when we’d shot all our internal scenes there was this big storm forecast, and our external scenes were scheduled for the day of the storm, so that had to be moved into the next week. It meant I ended up shooting those scenes outside the house, then going straight back up to Scotland to shoot the Good Omens music shop scene the next day! When I mentioned to Michael I’d just worked with Caroline he said “ooh she’s in Ghosts is she!” and revealed that she’d texted him about me which was rather surreal. Then later after the Ghosts wrap party Kiell gave me a part in his Channel 4 Blap, so at the time I felt like I was killing it career wise, but the industry quietened a bit after that and my workload eased off over the year so I was in my overdraft by November.”

What are your plans for the future – can we expect to see you in something else soon?

“This year, after a bit of a quiet start, I was very fortunate to work on a Disney+ show called Rivals which stars… David Tennant! I think I’m allowed to say my character is called Brian, and I shot five episodes so that was another really amazing job, and great to work with David again (I told him he must be my good luck charm, although I hope he’s not sick of me). That should be out at some point in late 2024. Other than that I’ve filmed a few other bits I presume will be out next year, one of which is called Truelove on Channel 4 which actually looks really good. That starts early January. Of course now Season 3 of Good Omens has been greenlit, I would love Neil and the gang to have me back on that… but I can only keep my fingers crossed!”