#I’ve been wanting to do this since the ep came out

[loverofstufflof]

That one OSP JTTW frame but it’s Spicynoodles

That’s it that’s the post

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Dad!Lee Minho x F!Reader TW : pregnant reader ; one child ; just fluff ; the fluffiest fluff ; Word Count : 2.3k Request : Anonny : Can we have more dad lee know 🥹 after the newest skz family ep dad lee know has taken over me A/N : Gonna make this in headcanon mode so that I can give multiple examples, I can't focus on just one. The Minho brainrot has gotten to me!

Dad Lee Know who announced your pregnancy through bubble and took an hour and half a bag of kitty treats just to line Soonie, Doongie, and Dori up around your positive pregnancy test. The only caption was “I’ve been promoted from cat dad to real dad.” 

Dad Lee Know who keeps the pregnancy tracker app on his phone because he wants you to have enough storage on your phone to take constant pictures of belly updates. He sends you a text every time a week passes letting you know what the baby is the size of. Your favorite text was probably the random “BASEBALL!!!” text, it took you a good five minutes to understand what it meant since he didn’t elaborate. 

Dad Lee Know who comes home from work every day and gives your belly kisses, telling his little baseball sized baby that he missed them dearly. He says it’s so that they get used to hearing it already and they’ll know what it means when they come out. 

Dad Lee Know who plans his entire schedule around your doctors appointments, making sure that he’s able to make it to each and every one of them. He and Chan almost got into a fight because Chan accidentally said the wrong date for practice. He even wrote the appointment dates on the staff calendar so they knew not to schedule anything for those days. 

Dad Lee Know who had playfully made a bet with the guys about the gender of his child. He said he had thought it was, and he had wanted a boy, but when it was revealed that he was having a daughter he had cried tears of joy and excitedly wrote in the group chat that he’d give the guys the money he owed them for the bet after he took you out to eat. 

Dad Lee Know who started decorating the nursery for his daughter the day after the appointment, declaring that the nursery would be fit for a princess… And then proudly stating that his daughter is a princess already. She was going to be spoiled beyond belief. 

Dad Lee Know who had bought a heart doppler just so that he could lay in bed at night beside you with his headphones on listening to the sound of his daughter's rapid heartbeat. (He had also googled on the first night if it was normal for a baby's heartbeat to be almost 170bpm in the womb… It is normal.) 

Dad Lee Know who took paternity leave 3 weeks before your due date because he had read that by that time the baby could come at any point and he didn’t want to take any chances of missing the moment. 

Dad Lee Know who put on a strong face when your water broke while you both were out shopping for more baby clothes. On the inside he was freaking out, but he was staying calm for you. 

Dad Lee Know who held your hand on the ride to the hospital, tears already pricking his eyes knowing that his baby girl would soon enter this world and he’d be able to hold her. 

Dad Lee Know who freaked out a little bit (a lot) when he saw his daughter's head crowning, he was about to faint, so he opted to stay up close to your head through the rest of the delivery because he wanted to be conscious when she fully came out. 

Dad Lee Know who told you that you were doing amazing and how proud he was of you even though you were being so mean during the delivery. He understood though, it looked like it hurted a lot. He was so proud to call you his wife. 

Dad Lee Know who’s hand was shaking as he cut the umbilical cord, his breath was held, but that was the moment that he truly felt like a dad, like a father. He finally let the breath out when the cord was cut. 

Dad Lee Know who cried harder than you when he heard his daughter’s first cries. 

Dad Lee Know who begged you to let him hold her first, and you were honestly so tired that you didn’t even have the energy to say no. 

Dad Lee Know who almost filled up his phone storage completely on his daughter's first day on earth because he couldn’t stop taking pictures of her. She was so beautiful, he had hearts in his eyes the moment he laid them on her. She was precious to him and he let the world know it. 

Dad Lee Know who sent a picture of her to the group chat with the caption “I made this! So did Y/N, but look at her! Look what we made!” In that moment he had created a team of uncles that would promise to protect her just as much as Minho would. 

Dad Lee Know who woke up every night with his daughter because he didn’t want to miss a moment with her. He also knew that you needed your sleep, you had done all of the hard work, the least he could do is let you get some rest. 

Dad Lee Know who introduced his daughter to his cats as their new sister. “She’s not old enough to play yet, so be nice. You can look, but don’t touch. Okay?” It seemed like they understood him though, they would sit around her swing and stare at her, almost like they were guarding her or watching out for her, and they would only move away when you or Minho picked her up. 

Dad Lee Know who would get slightly sad when you would breastfeed his daughter because it was one of the things he couldn’t do. He surprised you with a breast pump because he wanted her to know he could give the milk too, just… In bottle form. 

Dad Lee Know who immediately felt guilty about the breast pump because it looked painful and he didn’t want you to be sore. The only time you did it now was when you knew you were going out and you wanted to have the milk ready. 

Dad Lee Know who almost threw up the first time he changed her diaper. After he was done it looked like he had lost about 20 years which was hysterical to you. All of the guys heard about it and they clowned him for it for a good bit. 

Dad Lee Know who cried his eyes out the night before his paternity leave was over. He didn’t want to go back to work, he didn’t want to spend a single moment away from you or his daughter, the thought that he might miss something was devastating to him. 

Dad Lee Know who had attempted to sneak his daughter to work with him in the baby wrap carrier, and then crying even more when you caught him and told him he couldn’t, at least not until she was a couple months older. 

Dad Lee Know who refused to believe that his daughter was already five months old when the day came around. He was a softie and he didn’t like to think that his baby girl was growing already, he wanted her to stay little forever. 

Dad Lee Knowwho brought home a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament when he came home from work and then proceeded to cry his eyes out because “where did the time go? Tell her to stop growing.” 

Dad Lee Know who went all out for her first birthday party which he wanted to be princess themed because, alas, she was his princess. He took pictures and videos all day, and then that night when she was fast asleep, he laid in bed beside you, choked up and sniffling as he told you that he felt like he was missing too much of her life because of his job. 

Dad Lee Know who had been the one to see her take her first steps and jokingly flaunted that you had missed it… But then quickly apologized when he saw that it upset you and pulled out his phone because he had managed to record it. The group chat also got the video, they were constantly in the loop about everything that she did. 

Dad Lee Know who demanded that you and his daughter be allowed to go on tour with him and the guys, and then giving management the ultimatum that it was the three of you, or none of you at all. That was his daughter's first plane trip. 

Dad Lee Know who death stared at anyone that even looked slightly annoyed when your daughter got a little cranky on the plane. He kept her on his lap the whole time and bounced her and sang to her so that you’d have a comfortable flight. 

Dad Lee Know who talked only about you and his daughter when he had the chance to during concerts. If fans had a problem with it, he didn’t really care. You and his baby were the most important things in his life right now, and you always would be. If the fans didn’t like hearing about it, they could leave. 

Dad Lee Know who personally wrote a song about you and his daughter, and with the help of Chan, Changbin, and Jisung, he was able to have it finished just in time for your anniversary. 

Dad Lee Know who woke up every morning to make breakfast for his daughter and pack her lunch when she was old enough to go to school. 

Dad Lee Know who was the only father crying in a sea of mothers (including you) when it was her first day of kindergarten. He didn’t want to let go of her hand, and you had to practically pry his fingers off. 

Dad Lee Know who took an entire day off work that day just so he could cuddle up with you and cry to you about how empty and quiet the house felt without her there. 

Dad Lee Know who was the first parent up at the school every single day, waiting a whole hour out on the bench in front of her classroom door with a snack and a brand new stuffed animal. That’s how her stuffed animal collection began. 

Dad Lee Know who would sit on the floor next to his daughter's bed and read her bedtime stories, acting out parts of the stories with her stuffed animals because he knew it made her smile. 

Dad Lee Know who fell asleep one night in the middle of reading the bedtime stories, his head resting on the edge of his daughters mattress, and when he woke up she was sitting on his lap and sleeping as well. He didn’t move that night and he didn’t mind the backache that came along with sleeping that way either. 

Dad Lee Know who was the loudest person in the crowd when his daughter walked across the stage for her little award for perfect grades. “THAT'S MY BABY! YES! DADDY IS SO PROUD OF YOU PRINCESS!” 

Dad Lee Know who stayed up all night to help his 6th grade daughter with her science fair project, even after she headed off to bed, he continued to work on it just to make sure she got first place. 

Dad Lee Know who about lost his shit when she got second place, you and his daughter had to usher him out of the gymnasium where everything was set up so that he wouldn’t embarrass her. 

Dad Lee Know who took you and his daughter out to dinner after the science fair mishap and told his daughter that “it doesn't matter whether you got second place or first place, you’ll always be number one to me. You’re the smartest girl I know and I’m so proud of you.” 

Dad Lee Know who would help his daughter with her homework every night, even if he spent all day practicing or recording, he was never too tired to help her. 

Dad Lee Know who would still tuck his daughter in at night and make sure her closet was shut and her night light was on when she would fall asleep no matter how old she got. 

Dad Lee Know who got choked up when his daughter graduated high school, his voice cracking when she walked across the stage and hiding his face in your shoulder so that no one would see him crying. 

Dad Lee Knowwho you had to give a speech to when his daughter said that she wanted to bring her boyfriend over to meet you and Minho. “Don’t look at him like you want to kill him, Minho.” “But what if I want to kill him? He’s trying to take my baby girl away.” “Baby, she’s 19…” “Blah blah blah I don’t want to hear it! She’s a baby!” 

Dad Lee Know who threw a massive party when his daughter got accepted into SNU. He tried to uninvite his daughter’s boyfriend, but she insisted that he come or she wouldn’t show up. 

Dad Lee Know who taught his daughter to drive. He was terrified, and she almost crashed into the curb, but he told her she was doing a great job regardless so that he didn’t break her spirits. 

Dad Lee Know who would do anything for his daughter, she is his entire life, his whole world. He loved her with his entire heart. He’s the best father in the universe, he would lay down his life for her, he would give up everything for her. She’s the greatest thing to ever happen to him, and watching her grow has been bittersweet, sad but rewarding. He wanted nothing but the best for her, and he’d make sure that no matter how old he got, or how old she got, he’d always be there for her. 

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[maevstar]

| Introducing myself in my fame dr ᯓᡣ𐭩

ᝰ. My name is Maeve Amelie Solace, but people usually call me by “Mae”.

ᝰ. I’m 26yo and I’m an A-list american actress and singer. (I was born in 1997 but I didn’t turned 27 yet).

ᝰ. I started my way on acting when I was 16 when my older brother was doing a play on high school and begged me to participate. I did, and since then I’ve been in love with acting.

ᝰ. When I graduated from high school i moved out from my hometown — Austin, Texas — to LA and entered to UCLA School of Theater.

ᝰ. My first big project in Hollywood was “The Edge of Seventeen” when I was 19-20yo, before that I just worked with small projects, mostly from my uni.

ᝰ. That project gave me more visibility in the industry and I became more well known.

ᝰ. Some of my films: The Edge of Seventeen, The School for Good and Evil (adaptation of the books), Lady bird, Scream 4 (2018), Little Woman, Causeway, We Live in a Time, Challengers, Me Before You, Glass Onion 2, Duna, Anyone but You, Don’t look up, No hard feelings, Don’t worry darling, The outrun, and etc.

ᝰ. Some of my shows: Supernatural (Claire Novak), Looking for Alasca, YOU, outer banks (season 4).

ᝰ. I’ve been nominated for the Oscar 4 times as the best Actress in a Leading Role, but I’m just gonna win the award in the 4th time (2024). Futhermore, i’ve won a lot of awards and nominations like Emmy’s and Golden Globes. In 2022, I entered the list of The Most Influential People by Time Magazine.

Now, my singer career:

ᝰ. My mom is a country singer — not much known — in Texas, so I’ve grew up loving music, and I’ve been writing songs since I was 15, but these never turned into real songs, until 2019-2020, when I recorded my EP’s.

ᝰ. My first EP is called “Minor” and it has 7 songs. I released it in 2019 just for fun, was some songs that I’ve been writing during the years. In 2020 I released more 2 EPs, called “Bittersweet” and “Good Riddance”, with 7 and 10 songs respectively, again, just for fun.

ᝰ. Now, my new coming up project on music is my first Album, called “The Secret Of Us”, it has 13 songs (+ 7 from deluxe) and all of them will have a music video, cause my objective is making a visual album.

ᝰ. With my new album, I intend to go on my first tour.

Fun facts about me:

ᝰ. I know ballet and gymnastics cause when my sister was 8 years old she wanted to learn but was scared to do it alone, so I used to go to classes with her.

ᝰ. I have 3 siblings, Will, Kayla and Austin. Will is 2 years older than me, Kayla is younger than me 4 years and Austin is 8 years younger than me. (Another fun fact is that Austin is adopted).

ᝰ. My s/o is Drew Starkey, I met him in a party at Maddie Cline’s house (2021). Also, Madelyn is my best friend and I’m very close to the cast of the outer banks too.

ᝰ. I’m in fact brazilian. I was born there but my family moved to the US when I was 8 — my father is brazilian but my mom is from us, she was in a trip when met my dad in brazil and blablabla — so I have dual nationality. (latinas are better lol). But when I was 14, I moved again to Brazil and lived there for almost 2 years with my aunt before I came back to US.

ᝰ. When I was 16, I made a YouTube channel with my brother Will and we used to talk about the most random things ever (btw it was a flop lol, this channel just came up when we became famous). (another fun fact is that he is also a well known actor, but more on theater plays than on screen).

ᝰ. When I was in high school, I was planning on going to med school — mostly because of my dad, he’s a doctor (my obsession with greys anatomy might got me inclined to that too🤭) — but then I fell in love with acting (when I was 16, like i said) and never quit. Besides that, I’m still very interested with things related to science and human body, stuff like that; most of things that I know are bc of my dad tho.

ᝰ. I’m polyglot. I speak Portuguese, English, Italian, Spanish and a bit of French and Latin. I also know ASL.

ᝰ. I still don’t know how to ride bikes without training wheels cause no one ever taught me (😭).

ᝰ. I love the sea, beaches, everything related to that, it’s one of my favorite places in the world.

mood boards; mood boards details;

─────── ୨ৎ ───────

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Heat is Rising

Sorry this late, blah blah real life actual job blah blah.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 8 of 12 - Why is it so good?! It’s unfair. Cause I know pain must be incoming. Also... Yak moved to the "rao" pronoun for his confession! SO ADORABLE!!!!! Can you see me kicking my feet and squealing with joy on this side of the screen? Well I am. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I think I'm finding this show a lot funnier than the show is trying to be. The pose in the doorway. The sparkle pants. The creaking of the leather. It’s all hilarious. The foot massage. So silly. Simultaniously, full of thirst. Yay! I like thirst. Not entirely sure why he’s dicking him around and not dicking him out but hey the tension is fun. Also the shot staging is very good. Very yaoi. Lin going to have so much power in this relationship once he starts trying on seduction for size. All just to say, it’s good and I’m enjoying it.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - you know I'm enjoying it a lot, so a surprise to see a Star Hunter beat it out? It's just MosBank are SERVING classic BL and I am a sucker for that kinda smut. Back to Stand-In...

It’s sad and a little complicated and interesting. And I’m still enjoying it very much. But this episode was mostly a rehash of information we already had been given, it was slow. Although since the acting is so good in this particular show, I didn’t mind it as much as I might have in a pulp piece, for example. 

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - I’m very much enjoying this. Not quite as much as I initially enjoyed the JBL version. But I’m liking a lot. There’s something particularly high school teen YA angst about this IP. Even more so than something like Make it Right or Love Sick. It’s just the cringe reactions and the constant embarrassments and the roller coaster of emotions that each character goes through in every scene. I forgot how exhausting it is to be a teen.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 12 of 16 - We Are Cute continues to be very cute indeed. Honestly Phum doesn’t need to flirt with Peem, Peem is already in love. The learning about each other is fun, but the fact that Phum still constantly communicates via kissing is great. I love that we have a couple whose love language is smooches. TanFang endgame is my favorite, I fucking LOVE them. But... NO SINGING. Worst fake band ever? Place docked in BL standing this week for that alone.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 10 - It's fine I guess? Trash watch here.

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 12 - It’s ridiculous and they're very cute and I kind of don’t know what’s going on. But the young one getting his first dildo and skipping with excitement was utterly adorable. And it is the first rep we’ve got for such a thing in this genre. So good on you little pulp!

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Everything felt a little rushed and oddly paced in this episode. Not entirely sure why K came back to him. Anyway, I hope it’s all explained in the finale.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10fin - I’ve made no secret about the fact that I haven’t been wild about this show.

Here’s a few things I enjoyed about the final episode: Uke initiated the sex scene!! Lots of tenderness. Long takes plus the absence of (and then very gentle introduction of) music. Unexpectedly high heat. Condom rep! The gayest bedroom layout ever. What I didn’t like: The absolute pinnacle of frustration for P'ABL on the other side of the screen wanting to grab the leads and shake them until their teeth rattled and scream "FOR THE LOVE, just TALK to each other!"  Oh but they are so cute and SO POLITE when the finally do reconcile! 

In conclusion:

A BL about the making of a BL where the famous one has a crush on the obscure one. It’s already been done.  Recently. By Japan. I would be tempted to say "better" but I didn’t like the first version either. At least this was less stalkery? Look, this show was fine. Just, in a word: cool, unengaging, and frustrating. OK that was 3 words. But they’re apt. A lackluster offering with a great ending. How to rate that? I despaired but ended up on 7/10 - do better Japan, I know you can.

Blue Boys (Korea YouTube) - it got its part 2, thank the BL gods, rounding this one into an 8 ep series. Still short (those eps barely scrape 10 min at most) but a solid little offering.

Charming reunion romance full of class + coming out struggles and great chemistry all of which was let down by a curtailed length. Had it just been given some legs, it could have grown wings and taken flight, but in the end it is simply too short. Still enjoyable and certainly worth your time. Cause ya don't need much of it. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

It's airing but...

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for a bit and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down.

In case you missed it

I mean you were under a rock on Tues Jan 18th Thailand's senate passed the Marriage Equality Bill. As of typing this, the King still has to sign it into law, but he's unlikely to veto. So it's a matter of time before everything is official. Thailand follows Nepal (2024) and Taiwan (2019). Both of those were judicial, Thailand's is legislative.

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru 2 AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo Tabetai 2 Haime! (Japan movie) - Continued the (frankly) lackadaisical story from part 1 and was meant to drop yesterday. We thought maybe Gaga, but nothing so far.

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Last of the June Releases

6/26 The Rebound (Thai Weds Gaga) - MeenPing are back in their 3rd BL together, a basketball based romance (Meen was a national basketball player, so yay for that). I like this pair better than most (I still do miss Meen with Est but Est has a fantastic looking new BL coming from GMMTV so yeah...) Anyway I'm up for a sports romance starring a man who, yah know, actually played that sport so... I'm game (pun intended).

6/26 I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) 10 eps - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

6/30 The Trainee (Thailand Sun YouTube) 12 eps- office romance between a boss/employee featuring OffGun. Taking over Boo's spot for GMMTV.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Lip touch! So sexy. So rare from Korea. Blue Boys.

I do love a meta call out moment.

Tiny idiots (affectionate)

Love their kisses. Such a great side couple.

All Wandee.

(Last week)

QUICK NOTE: I'm flying international back next weekend and the damn thing is gonna take like 72 hours or whatever insanity. Needless to say, I may not get to this round-up for ages. So don't panic, I'm not dead just sleeping.

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[karasukarei]

Wind Breaker Special Stage Event - Tonpuu-machi Halloween Matsuri Afternoon Show Special Reading Drama (part 3 final)

Part 1 here! Part 2 here!

You can check out the rest of my translations here!

Choji: Ume-chan! (a lot of echoing) Ume-chan!!!

💙Umemiya 💙: Huh? This voice…

Choji: Ume-chan! Trick or treat! If you don’t give me candy I’m gonna prank you!

Togame: What’s going on here? Everyone’s getting all excited with ad-libbing huh? (t/n: CAUGHT RED-HANDED!!! YOU CAN SEE THE BOUFUURIN GUYS START LAUGHING WHEN HE SAID THIS)

Kaji: Shishitoren’s Tomiyama and Togame…! (t/n: bet he still hasn’t gotten over being beaten up by them in ep 4)

Sakura: Why are you guys here?

💙Umemiya 💙: The two of you came! Thanks!

Choji: Of course, it’s an invitation from a friend!

Togame: Thanks for the invite~

 Hiiragi: Oi, you invited these guys too?

💙Umemiya 💙: A party is more fun when there are more people, right!

Choji: Hey hey, look at this! I’m a bakeneko! (t/n: kinda like a werecat? But I’m not sure if he’s referring to the Japanese bakeneko or just a cat that can turn into a human) Nyan nyan! (t/n: THIS IS SO CUTE HE EVEN DOES IT WITH THE HAND ACTION)

(cue cheering from the audience)

Umemiya(?): He did it. 

Nirei: Amazing! The nyan nyan that Sakura-san couldn’t do, he did it so easily?!

Sakura: *angry blushing* It’s not that I couldn’t do it, I didn’t want to!!!

💙Umemiya 💙: Tomiyama! You did it so well!!!

Choji: Nyaaaan~ <3 (t/n: THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL)

Nirei: (writing it down in his notebook) Tomiyama is good at the nyan nyan pose…

Hiiragi: You don’t have to write that down.

Choji: Eh? Is that Sakura-chan? With those ears, are you a cat too?

Sakura: Wrong!!! I’m a wolf, don’t group me together with you!

Choji: I see, that’s a pity! I thought we could do the nyan nyan together!

Suo: Sorry about that, it seems that for Sakura-kun, the nyan nyan pose is still too difficult for him at this stage…

Sakura: Huh?!

Hiiragi: Togame too, you’ve dressed up well, haven’t you?

Togame: Choji said if there’s a black cat, there should be a witch, you know? But I’m digging this too. Especially these glasses.

Hiiragi: Yeah, it looks like a student from a particular school of magic.

Togame: Since I’m all dressed up, could I say a spell as well? Uhh, Expecto Patro- (t/n: the scriptwriter who wrote this in. Deserves a raise AND a bonus. The seiyuus confirmed that they were following the script here 👀)

Nirei: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! That’s dangerous!

Togame: Huh?

Nirei: DON’T SAY ANYMORE THAN THAT.

Togame: Why?

Nirei: Don’t ask why! It says so in the script! (t/n: He actually said “book”, not script, but he was gesturing to the script when saying this, so I assume that’s what he meant)

Togame: Eh? Expecto-

Nirei: NOOOOOOOOOO. (t/n: Poor Shoya he’s been screaming the whole day lmao) It says so in the script!!!

Togame: Eh?

Hiiragi: Sorry about that, I don’t think that’s a good idea. (t/n: this might be wrong, feel free to correct me!)

Choji: Hey hey, Ume-chan! There’s a really nice smell nearby!

💙Umemiya 💙: Yeah! The good folks of the shopping street prepared a mountain of delicious food! You guys should eat up as well! (t/n: meanwhile I am suffering here from my recent wisdom tooth extraction and on a soft diet ;-;)

Choji: Kame-chan, did you hear that? Quick, let’s go!

Togame: Yes yes~

💙Umemiya 💙: I’m feeling hungry, let’s go too!

Hiiragi: Hang on, Umemiya! (but he has already left) *sighs* Let’s go too.

Nirei: Yes!

*scene change*

💙Umemiya 💙: Yosh, I’ve eaten so much! You guys, split up and help clean up ok!

Kaji, Nirei, Suo: Yes!

Suo: I’ll clean up the trash here, Nirei-kun could you handle that side?

Nirei: Understood!

Choji: Ume-chan! We can help out too!

💙Umemiya 💙: Really? If you could help out over there that’ll be great!

Togame: Gotcha~

Hiiragi: Sugishita and Kaji, could you help out with clearing the tables?

Sugishita: Yes.

Kaji: Understood. (t/n: I bet Hiiragi paired them so they can simp together about their oshis cos they won’t fight)

Sakura: This is burnable trash… That’s plastic… *very very big yawn*

💙Umemiya 💙: That’s a big yawn.

Sakura: Huh?! (in surprise and shock that he got caught) S-shut up!

💙Umemiya 💙: Heh, thanks for today. Thanks to you guys, everyone in the shopping street were so happy!

Sakura: It’s not like I did anything…

💙Umemiya 💙: Don’t say that! You did a cute pose too ^_^

Sakura: Forget that! That Suo, I’ll remember this…!

💙Umemiya 💙: Hehehe! But Sakura, you had fun right?

Sakura: Well… The food was great.

💙Umemiya 💙: Right?! Spending time with everyone like this and having fun with them is great right?

Sakura: Well, it wasn’t bad...

And that's all! I hope everyone enjoyed this~ It's still a little early, but-

🎃Happy halloween 🎃

[yelena-bellova]

Twenty Years Later: Joel Miller x F!Reader - Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Road Trip

Plot: Joel, Y/n and Ellie continue to make their way cross country, and Joel and Y/n’s truce is heavily tested.

Warnings: tlou ep.4 spoilers, language, insinuation of killing, mention of a p*rn magazine, guns, (16+)

Word Count: 7.1k

A/N: This chapter feels like filler, but there’s still lil’ nuggets that will come into play later. Thanks to HBO for throwing that curveball of a Friday episode, now I gotta hustle to get the next chapter out within two days 😂

As always, this series is 16+ and I will not be tagging anyone who does not have their age in their bio. Gotta look out for younger eyes 👀

I hope you all enjoy this one and prepare for the next one because….anyway, enjoy!

———————

June 2nd, 2002. Austin, Texas.

——————

Joel and Y/n had gone out for three weeks, equaling a total five dates. Between their respective work schedules and Joel being a parent, they had to get creative if they wanted to see each other. They’d meet on their lunch breaks or, if they were too busy, Joel would stop by the hardware store in dire need of help finding something and only Y/n could possibly help him. It gave them a good twenty minutes or so to wander the aisles together.

On a particularly slow Tuesday afternoon, Y/n was doing inventory. Joel and her had made plans to grab coffee on his way home and she was counting down the hours till he came through the door.

A small voice broke her out of her daydreams, “Excuse me?”

Y/n turned and met the face of a girl, no older than maybe thirteen. She had dark skin and a head full of curls pulled back with a scrunchie. She looked slightly out of breath, but determined.

“How can I help you?” Y/n asked curiously.

“Are you Y/n?”

She confusedly furrowed her brows, “Yeah…”

The girl huffed with a grin, “Okay, good. I asked, like, three other people where you were and they had no idea.”

Y/n awkwardly smiled along with her, “C-can I ask how you know my name?”

“Oh,” the girl snapped back to the current conversation, “I’m Sarah.”

“Sarah…” Y/n repeated, wracking her mental index of high school friend’s kids, before it hit her. Her eyes widened, “Wait…Sarah…Miller?”

She nodded, “Yeah.”

Y/n’s body locked up, to say she was surprised was an understatement. Joel had told her that he wanted to wait a while before introducing her to Sarah. He hadn’t had a serious girlfriend since Sarah’s mom and was trying to figure out the best way for them to meet. Y/n hadn’t taken any offense, she’d supported it, actually. She’d never dated anyone with a kid and she wanted to do everything as close to perfect as she could.

“D-does your-“ Y/n braced herself against her inventory cart, “Does your dad know you’re here?”

Sarah’s mouth twisted, “Not exactly.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n replied, suspicious, “And not exactly means…?”

“Not at all,” Sarah nervously smiled.

Y/n gathered the little oxygen left in her body and laughed. “How did you get down here if you’re by yourself?”

Sarah shrugged, “I took the bus.”

“Ah,” Y/n nodded, “And you ride the bus alone without your dad’s permission a lot?”

The girl gave a guilty smile and balanced on the heels of her Converse. It was all the answer Y/n needed.

“So, why are you here?” Y/n asked, feeling like she was doing something wrong.

Sarah sighed, “I got tired of waiting for my dad to introduce me to you. I’ve asked him, like, ten times and he keeps saying no. I knew you worked here so…I figured this was the only way I could meet you.”

Y/n couldn’t help but be a little touched, and also terrified. She was more nervous about impressing Sarah than she had been Joel.

“I mean,” Y/n rubbed her forehead, “Yeah, I knew your dad was waiting to introduce us but…I didn’t realize his daughter was a secret mastermind.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Sarah smiled, resting a hand on Y/n’s cart, “So…you’re dating my dad.”

Y/n nodded, “Seems that way, yeah.”

“Well, he really likes you,” Sarah replied, “Like, really likes you. He’s in a way better mood than usual.”

“Is he now?” Y/n inquired.

“He’s smiling all the time, he’s cooking,” Sarah’s face turned serious, “Which never happens ‘cause he kinda sucks at it. He’s even singing.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow, “Singing?”

Sarah nodded, “Uh-huh. Just under his breath, but still…”

Y/n was trying hard to restrain her grin, but Sarah was making it difficult. It was nice to know Joel was as uplifted by their short time together as she was. She’d practically been floating down the aisles.

“He’s just never this happy and…” Sarah shrugged one arm, “I really wanted to meet whoever was responsible.”

“Well,” Y/n smiled, “Your dad’s pretty great. And he loves you, never stops talking about how well you’re doing in school and in soccer…”

Sarah’s posture visibly improved upon hearing the compliments.

“Look, my dad’s never going to work up the nerve to let us all hang out together,” Sarah began to explain, “But the county fair’s on Friday night, me, him and Uncle Tommy are gonna go and it would be really fun if you came.”

Y/n inhaled deeply, a family outing. Was she ready for that? Were her and Joel at that point?

“I don’t know, Sarah,” she hesitate, “I should really talk to your dad first.”

“No,” Sarah urged, taking hold of one of Y/n’s hands, “He’ll just get all squirmy and frown and say that it’s not time yet.”

Y/n thought for a second, “He does frown a lot.”

“A lot,” Sarah chortled, Y/n joining in soon after, “Just think about it. Please?”

Y/n was between a rock and a hard place, or rather, the guy she was dating and his crafty daughter. She wanted Sarah to like her and they were already a step in the right direction. She didn’t want to blow it.

“Okay,” she relented, “I’ll think about it.”

“Yes,” Sarah cheered under her breath, still holding onto Y/n’s hand. “I gotta go, the bus is gonna be back any minute.”

As she moved to go, Y/n took a step forward. “I-I really don’t like the thought of you on the bus by yourself,” she objected, “Why don’t I drive you?”

“But you’re working,” Sarah replied.

Y/n gestured to the empty space around them. “I think they’ll survive without me for twenty minutes.”

Sarah gave a small smile, she was getting to spend more time with the woman she had a million questions about. Sneaking around had paid off substantially.

“Come on,” Y/n removed her apron, draped it across her cart and pulled her keys from her pocket, “You can tell me what your dad’s been singing on the way.”

The two girls headed out of the store, giggling to themselves as Sarah did an impression of her father humming old country tunes to himself while washing dishes.

—————————

Later that afternoon, Joel arrived to pick Y/n up for their quick coffee. When he arrived, she was nowhere to be found. After asking around, and finding out she had stepped out momentarily, he decided to wait at the empty checkout line for her.

Y/n walked back into the store with a new spring in her step. Sarah had not only spilled a lot of dirt on Joel, but she had talked about herself a lot. Y/n felt like she’d already been able to make a connection.

Joel spotted her before she did him, waving a little to catch her eye.

“Hey,” Y/n greeted, apprehension taking over.

“Hey,” Joel replied, his smiling fading the closer he got, “What’s that look?”

“What look?” Y/n asked, unaware of how nervous she appeared.

“You look like a kid with their hand caught in the cookie jar,” Joel smirked, taking her hand lightly into his, “What’s going on?”

Y/n sighed, she’d been trying to figure out how to broach the subject of Sarah all the way back to the store. Joel’s gentle touch was only heightening her nerves. “Why don’t I drive us to coffee?”

Joel squinted in confusion, “Okay…”

The two of them drove off in Y/n’s old Toyota, but she waited until they had their drinks in hand and were walking down the main street to start talking.

“So Sarah came by today,” she blurted out.

Joel nearly choked on the sip he’d been taking, “My Sarah?”

“Uh-huh,” Y/n nodded, anxiously holding the cup close to her chest.

“H-how’d she get down the-“ Joel began to ask before pressing his lips together and shutting his eyes, “She took the bus, didn’t she?”

“Yep,” Y/n answered.

Joel sighed, he was already starting to find grey hairs across his head. Sarah was going to turn the whole thing silver before she was 16.

“She said she was tired of waiting for you to introduce us so she was going to do it herself,” Y/n retold the story.

“Yeah, sounds like her…” Joel replied with a loud sigh, “Look, I know you wanted to meet her-“

“Yeah, but I was perfectly fine with waiting,” Y/n was quick to say, “You said you wanted to do this the right way.”

“Yeah, well, the right way was decided for us,” Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “So what’d you two talk about?”

Y/n smirked over her coffee cup, details of the conversation still fresh in her mind. “Girl stuff,” she answered, quickly taking a drink.

“Why don’t I believe you?” Joel asked with an eyebrow cocked.

“She, uh, she invited me to the fair this weekend,” Y/n changed topics, “With you guys.”

“Ah,” Joel nodded, he didn’t know whether or not to thank Sarah for speeding his relationship up. Lord knows, he was too nervous to do it.

Y/n held a hand up to Joel, “But I didn’t give her an answer. I wanted to talk to you first.”

With the obstacle of Sarah’s approval out of the way, there was nothing to stop him from saying yes. And he didn’t want there to be, he was just used to using excessive caution around his family that anything else felt unnatural. 

“You should come,” Joel answered, turning to Y/n with a shy smile.

Y/n inched back a little, placing her hand on Joel’s arm, “Are you sure? Joel, I don’t want to insert myself anywhere.”

“How can you insert yourself somewhere you were invited?” Joel replied, settling his hand over Y/n’s, “Come.”

Taking a deep breath, Y/n knew that this was a big step for them. Joel’s daughter was his world, and Y/n was being given the privilege of being a part of it.

She blew out her cheeks, “Okay.”

Joel’s smile was earnest, rubbing his thumb over the back of Y/n’s hand. 

“If all goes well, I won’t have to hide you so much,” he said.

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re doing that great a job,” Y/n chuckled at Joel’s confusion, “Johnny Cash?”

Joel’s face turned sour, “Can’t believe she told you ‘bout that.”

“Hey, I thought it was a cute story,” Y/n held her hands up in surrender, “Your daughter thought it was a laugh riot.”

Joel lightly rolled his eyes, letting them rest afterwards on Y/n’s face. A stray bit of hair had fallen in her face, thanks to the breeze, and Joel brushed it away, cupping her cheek.

Joel and Y/n had made the decision that they wouldn’t take their relationship any further without having Sarah’s approval. They had yet to even kiss.

“If this works out,” Y/n started, “You’re not gonna be able to get rid of me.”

“Who says I want to?” Joel muttered, their close proximity allowed him to lower his voice.

They both knew if they stayed in the moment a second longer, their wills could cave. Y/n shoved her coffee cup between their mouths, allowing them both a breathy laugh.

“Come on,” Joel reached down and clasped Y/n’s hand, “I gotcha for a little while longer.”

The two of them walked off into the Austin evening, savoring every short second they got together.

—————

2023. Somewhere in rural America.

Joel, Ellie and Y/n had been driving for one day and no one had yet to end up in a body bag. A win if ever there were one.

That wasn’t to say they hadn’t come close. Joel and Y/n’s truce was an uneasy one and with the promise made to Ellie that they’d get along, their arguments had phased to thin lipped smiles barely concealing their disdain for one another. Still, their guns had stayed in the holsters. That was progress.

Joel pulled over at an abandoned gas station somewhere, needing to refuel. Ellie headed off to the bathrooms while Y/n and Joel went about setting up the siphon.

As Y/n handed Joel a rag, she noticed the state of his hand. It was still healing, and after using it so much in one day, it was beginning to shake.

48 hours ago, she would have let him suffer, but in the interest of a truce…

“Here,” she scooted closer, taking the siphon into her hand.

“I got it,” Joel protested.

“I know you do,” she placated him, gently prying his hand off the device, “Now move.”

She inched him out of the way and took over attaching the device. Joel crouched next to her in the dust, he felt useless if he wasn’t working.

Footsteps signaled that Ellie was coming back. She glanced over the abandoned car at Y/n and Joel.

“We have to do this every hour?”  

“Gas breaks down over time,” Joel answered, “This stuff’s almost water. Back in the day, we’d drive 10, 12 hours on one tank. You could go anywhere.”

“So where’d you go?” Ellie asked.

Y/n continued working, bouncing the memories off that threatened to stick in her mind. 

“Pretty much nowhere,” Joel answered, it was technically the truth, but so there was unclaimed life resting in his ‘pretty much.’

Y/n huffed a large breath into the siphon, the gasoline dripping into their canister.

“Nice,” Ellie complimented, “How does that work?”

“It’s a siphon,” Joel explained as Y/n monitored their levels, “It’s when liquid…travels against gravity because pressure-“

Ellie nodded smugly, “You don’t know.”

“I know it works,” Joel quickly replied.

Y/n smirked and looked over her shoulder, “Please teach us more about physics, professor.”

Joel frowned at his ex before turning his attention back to a walking Ellie, “No wandering.”

Ellie thought a moment, “Okay,” she went into her backpack, “This is your fault then.”

She whipped out a small paperback that made Y/n shut her eyes in exhaustion. “Oh, sweet Moses, not that book…” she muttered.

Joel started to speak, “Wha-“

“‘It doesn’t matter how much you push the envelope,’” Ellie recited, “‘It’ll still be stationary.’”

Joel blinked, Y/n let her forehead rest against the car.

“‘No Pun Intended: Volume Too’ by Will Livingston,” Ellie held up the book to Joel, “Volume Too. Look, you get it? Too? Like t-o-o?”

Joel mumbled something under his breath and got up.

“‘What did the mermaid wear to her math class?’” Ellie asked her captive audience, building tension in the silence, “‘An algae bra,” she laughed, “Like algae bra. ‘I stayed up all night-“

“No,” Joel shook his head, like that word carried an ounce of power with Ellie.

“‘Wondering where the sun went,” the girl continued, “‘And then it dawned on me.”

“Feel free to wait in the truck,” Joel suggested, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Well, Y/n thought it was funny,” Ellie retorted, she’d tested the jokes our on her watcher back in the QZ.

“I laughed at one out of, like, fifteen, Ellie,” Y/n grunted as she got to her feet, “That’s not the win you think it is.”

“Okay, but just know,” Ellie held up the book again, “You can’t escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back. There’s nothing you can do to stop him.”

Ellie took her backpack and her jokes and walked back to the Chevy, leaving Joel and Y/n by themselves.

“You get that book,” Joel started, trying to break the silence, “I’ll roll down the window.”

“Oh, that’s not even the worst of ‘em,” Y/n replied, wiggling the toe of her boot into the ground, “But they make her smile. Like I’m in any position to put a stop to that.”

Joel glanced over at Y/n, taking a temperature reading of her once again. It was hard to see so much of the person you’d once loved with your whole heart mixed with who they’d become. Every once in a while, he got flashes of his ex-girlfriend in the light she used to radiate. But something inevitably came through and blew out her flame. More than often, all it took was his mere presence.

“We should be good,” he said, changing his train of thought and kneeling down to pack up the siphon.

Y/n took the gas they’d collected and carried it back to the truck. Heavy as it was, she wasn’t about to ask Joel to help her. She’d lived through twenty years of their dystopian hell-space, a gas can wasn’t about to best her.

Once the truck was filled up, Joel and Y/n hopped in the front seats with Ellie sitting in the back.

“Must’ve been some truck,” Ellie commented, staring out the back window at the fleet deserted vehicles.

“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them and clear the roads for their tanks and such,” Joel said.

Ellie spun around in her seat, “I wanna see a tank!”

“You will,” Joel replied, “Tanks, choppers, all that stuff. But they’ll fight the wrong enemy. Just scattered around now.”

By now, Joel was background noise to Ellie as she dug around the back of Bill’s truck.

“I got somethin’,” she announced proudly, waving another cassette tape in between Y/n and Joel. “Here, does this make you all nostalgic?”

Joel took the tape from her, it was Hank Williams. Y/n and him shared a sideways glance, if Ellie had any musical knowledge, they’d have been insulted. 

“This is actually before our time,” Joel handled the cassette.

“Great,” Ellie settled back in her seat, unamused.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not good,” Y/n stated, watching Joel pop the tape into the player and adjust the volume.

The speakers flooded with the warm sounds of the country legend. Something about it made both Joel and Y/n relax into their seats a little more.

“Oh, man,” Joel mumbled to himself, briefly closing his eyes and letting the music wash over him.

“Yeah,” Y/n absentmindedly replied, staring out her window.

“Got somethin’ else,” Ellie announced, the sounds of magazine pages flipping behind Joel and Y/n, “It’s, uh, light on the reading, but it has some interesting pictures.”

Y/n and Joel peered into the dashboard mirror, catching a graphic cover. Their protests overlapped.

“Oh, no, no, no, put that back.”

“Ellie, don’t read that.”

“That’s not for kids, Ellie.”

“There’s nothing you need to see-“

Ellie opened up the centerfold of the x-rated magazine, her jaw dropping at the sight, “How would he even walk around with that thing?”

“Ellie,” Y/n unbuckled her seat belt, flipping around in her chair and stretching into the backseat, “Put it back.”

The girl slid to Joel’s side of the truck, too far away for Y/n to reach. “Hold you horses,” she argued, “I wanna see what all the fuss is about.”

While Joel watched nervously through the mirror, Y/n was not so easily defeated. She kept clawing at the air, trying to rip the magazine out of Ellie’s hands. Ellie turned away just enough so Y/n’s fingertips barely touched the paper.

“Why are all the pages stuck together?” Ellie asked.

“Uh,” Joel elongated, unsure of what to do, “The-“

“I’m just fuckin’ with you,” Ellie burst into laughter, reaching past Y/n and slapping Joel’s shoulder with the magazine.

Y/n slid back into her seat, moving as far away as she could from Joel’s shoulder.

Ellie unrolled the back window, the whipping winds blowing through the truck. She tossed the magazine out with a grin, “Bye-bye, dude!”

Y/n sighed and put her hand to her temple, nearly laughing at the absurdity of the moment.

They drove for most of the day, answering Ellie’s occasional question, but mostly sitting in silence. Somberness would fall over the truck whenever they passed by some piece of the old world, ruined and rusted by time. They drove by an abandoned amusement park, a rickety coaster still standing. A sign for what used to be a Love’s truck stop. A bridge that had collapsed at some point in the last two decades. To Ellie, it was a lost future. To Joel and Y/n, it was the world they didn’t know if they’d ever see again.

When the skies grew began to grow dark, there wasn’t much driving left for them to do.

“All right,” Joel announced to the truck, “That’s enough for the day.”

One part of their agreement was that Y/n would trust Joel’s ability to get them to Wyoming. Her rebellion against his every word made her want to argue that they could go a little longer, but she was trying to keep up her end of the deal.

Joel pulled off the main road and drove them into the nearby forest. They set up camp deep enough that they were hidden, but close enough to the road to escape quickly, should the need arise. Joel and Y/n took care of preparing dinner, using a portable stove and cutlery they’d taken from Bill’s house.

Eventually, they all sat down to a lukewarm meal of ravioli. Ellie practically inhaled it while Joel and Y/n tried to make it last.

“Slow down,” Joel cautioned.

“This is slow,” Ellie replied with a full mouth, “What am I even eating?”

“That is 20-year-old Chef Boyardee ravioli,” Joel answered.

“That guy was good,” Ellie complimented, stuffing another piece in her mouth.

Joel stared down at his meal, “I actually agree.”

Y/n swirled a piece around her plate, “It’s technically food.”

“How long are we staying out here?” Ellie inquired.

“I figure I sleep tonight,” Joel answered, “And drive tomorrow, all day, all night, and get us to Wyoming by next mornin’.”

“You know I can take a shift, right?” Y/n asked, Joel’s stony silence served as his reply, “Ah, so you do know and you’re choosing to ignore it.”

“In the interest of gettin’ us there the quickest, it’s better I drive,” he stated.

“Yes, navigating a highway,” Y/n retorted, taking a sarcastic tone, “That’s men’s work.”

“What happened to getting along?” Ellie smirked as she watched the exchange.

Joel and Y/n glanced over at her and backed down. They had to watch themselves.

“So can we start a fire?” Ellie changed the subject, “I’m freezing.”

“Now, why am I gonna tell you no?” Joel replied shortly.

Ellie shrugged in defeat, “Because Infected will see the smoke.”

“No, fungus isn’t that smart,” Joel said, “This is too remote for Infected, anyway.”

“People?” Ellie came back with.

Joel nodded.

“So what are they gonna do? Rob us?”

“Oh, they’ll have way more in mind than that,” Joel answered, never once looking up from his plate.

Y/n had lived a vastly different life than Joel had, post apocalypse, but she knew the horrors people willingly committed against each other. Being cold for a night was the ideal.

Once the sun set, the three of them rolled out their sleeping bags, another courtesy of Bill and Frank, and set up for the night. Y/n laid her head next to Ellie’s, while Joel stayed on the complete opposite side of them.

Ellie took a whiff of the inside of her bag, “Actually smells kinda good.”

“Well, that would be Frank’s then,” Joel quipped.

“If mine smells like gunpowder,” Y/n held her sleeping bag up, “I’m gonna assume-“

“Bill,” Joel took no time in answering.

Y/n nodded, “Copy that.”

Before they could lay down for the night, Joel and Y/n made a point of each checking their shotguns and laying them at their sides.

Ellie and Y/n nestled into their accommodations beside one another, Ellie pulling something out of her backpack before switching the lantern off and turning on her flashlight. Y/n’s back was turned, or else she would have put a stop to what was about to happen

“Joel?” Ellie eventually called out, “Y/n? Joel?”

“What?” Joel jumped to attention, he still moved with the urgency of a father. 

Y/n turned over, “What is it?”

“Can I ask you a serious question?”

“Yeah,” Joel said for both of them.

Ellie sighed deeply, “‘Why did the scarecrow get an award?’”

Y/n and Joel both looked over at the same time to shoot Ellie a glare. She kept a straight face as if she really needed the answer.

“Because he was outstanding in his field,” Joel answered.

Y/n groaned, “Oh, God, there’s two of you.”

“You dick,” Ellie laughed, “Did you read this?”

“No,” Joel turned over, smirking only to himself, “Now go to sleep.”

Ellie victoriously smiled, having successfully chipped away at a little bit of the ice man’s exterior.

“Admit it,” Ellie whispered to Y/n, “You like them.”

“I will smother you in your sleep,” Y/n mumbled into her pillow. She’d never admit to cracking a smile.

They had just settled back into the sleepy silence when Ellie spoke up again, this time truly serious.

“Those people you said…there’s no way anyone knows we’re here, right? No one’s gonna find us.”

Joel and Y/n both stiffened, they could only guarantee so much. Where they were was as close to safe as they could get. But that wasn’t something you told a scared kid who wouldn’t admit to being scared. You gave them hope, confidence.

“No one’s gonna find us,” Joel confirmed.

“Okay,” Ellie accepted the answer and flipped over. 

Y/n lay on her back, staring up at the stars. Her paranoia had softened the longer she survived, but laying in the middle of the open woods with a big flashing red sign above that read ‘FREE KILL HERE’ was resuscitating it.

A few feet away, Joel was feeling the same thing. He couldn’t pretend like he was fearless leaving himself completely vulnerable. And now that he knew Ellie was nervous, it only woke him up further. He eyed the shotgun, calculating in his head how little sleep he could make the drive on. If he counted on Y/n to take one of the shifts, they could still make good time…

They both unzipped their sleeping bags at the same time, turning to one another in the dark. No matter how hard they tried, they were on the same wavelength.

Y/n sighed, “You take the first shift?”

Joel’s nod had a heaviness to it, “Yeah.”

Y/n settled back onto her side, this time facing where Joel was heading to take up his post. She fell into an uneasy sleep, only after keeping watch over Joel until her exhaustion forced her to stop.

——————

It was a few hours later, Joel eyelids were beginning to droop. His ears were beginning to ring. He needed sleep.

After doing one last scan of the area, he walked back to their campsite. He came over to Y/n’s sleeping bag, ready to wake her, but stopped.

He stared down at her, her lips slightly parted, her hair framing her face and her lashes fanned across her cheeks. The frown she carried throughout the day faded in sleep, softening to a content expression as if she was between the bliss of unconsciousness and the evil of the waking world. It was the most at peace Joel had seen her in the last few days.

He couldn’t bring himself to wake her up.

She’d be mad at him in the morning, he knew it. She’d berate him for thinking he didn’t need her and probably make a crack about him falling asleep at the wheel. That was fine, he thought as he went back to his post, he’d take it. Anger and nostalgia were waging a battle within him, and right now, he was allowing his wistful memories to win.

——————

Y/n woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the rustling of something in their truck. Seeing that Joel wasn’t in his sleeping bag, she grabbed her shotgun and bolted upright. The barrel of the weapon found Joel, packing up the truck, cocking a brow at her.

Y/n exhaled and set down her gun, running a relieved hand over her face. “You didn’t wake me up,” she said when she came to fully.

“I had it covered,” Joel said softly, not wanting to wake Ellie yet.

“I didn’t ask that,” Y/n replied as she stretched, already annoyed with him. She rolled out of her sleeping bag and got to her feet. “Well, I’m driving this morning. I’m not ending up dead just because you’re stubborn.”

Joel didn’t look up as he tied his sleeping bag up. Right on cue.

“Coffee’s on,” he changed the subject.

Y/n felt like Joel knew that would distract her enough to move on. He wasn’t wrong. She reached over to grab her backpack, feeling around for her travel mug. Her hand graced the plastic butterfly she’d taken from Joel’s apartment, freezing as she did.

Grief, much like heartbreak, had to be danced around. If you got too close, self destruction would swallow you whole. Y/n collected her thoughts and led them back to where she was, quickly finding her mug and zipping the pack up again.

Ellie rolled over, awake finally, and sniffed the air. She scooted over to where Joel had the coffee boiling and carefully opened the lid. 

“Ugh,” she gagged, “What the fuck is that?”

Joel turned to her, “You don’t like coffee?”

Ellie grimaced, watching the bubbling brew a second longer before throwing the lid back down and rolling back onto her pillow.

“Uh-uh,” Y/n shook her head, nudging Ellie with her boot, “Up and at ‘em, come on.”

Ellie stuck her middle finger out, “Fuck you, man.”

“Up,” Y/n repeated, tugging on the bottom of Ellie’s sleeping bag.

The girl moaned and sat up, glaring at Y/n, who went to pour her mug of coffee. Whether it was the first sip of caffeine shifting her mood or she simply was making an effort, she wasn’t sure, but when Joel walked over with his mug, Y/n poured it for him.

“Thanks,” Joel mumbled, “Why don’t I drive for three hours, you take over after?”

“Two,” Y/n countered, “Those bags under your eyes make you look like you’re in a fucking Tim Burton movie.”

Joel sighed, remembering the truce. “Fine.”

Y/n and Joel finished packing up their supplies and the three of them were back on the road in minutes.

“Is that what the Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” Ellie asked, eyeing Joel’s mug.

“Well, there’s was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah,” Joel answered, “This is what they sold.”

“The world used to run on this stuff,” Y/n added.

“Smells like burnt shit,” Ellie mused, smirking over at Joel.

Joel, straight faced as could be, raised his mug and took a big slurping sip. Y/n bit down on her lip to keep from rewarding him a laugh. 

“Eyes on the map,” Joel ordered.

“76 west and then 70 west for, like, ever…” Ellie read, Y/n had taught her how to navigate directions and she was still getting the hang of it.

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?” Ellie asked Joel.

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody,” Joel answered.

Ellie scanned the map, “Cody. Cody…Cody…ah, man. That is deep up in there.”

Y/n peekd over Ellie’s shoulder to take a look, “Do you know where he would have gone other than there?”

“Odds are he’ll be near a settlement,” Joel answered, “Probably close to another city out there. Ain’t too many of ‘em in Wyoming.”

The second part of his reply was meant more for Ellie. She was getting a crash course in geography.

“Chee-Yen,” she read off.

“Cheyenne,” Joel corrected, he’d studied that map so intensively that he could have found his way around the state blindfolded.

“Chey- really?” Ellie double checked before reading again, “Cheyenne…Laramie…Casper? What’s his name?”

“Whose name?” Joel asked, avoiding the question another five seconds.

“Your brother,” Ellie replied.

Joel paused, “Tommy.”

A wave of nostalgia crashed around Y/n, hearing his name made her think of cheap beer and belly laughter.

“Younger or older?” Ellie continued to question Joel.

“Younger.”

“Why isn’t he with you?”

Joel sighed, stretching his neck out slightly, “A long story.”

“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that’s what we got,” Ellie asked, turning around to Y/n, “Do you know?”

“No, I don’t,” Y/n clocked Joel in the dashboard mirror, “And if I’m risking my life to find him, I think I deserve to know.”

Joel met her eyes in a fleeting glance, she was backing him up against a wall.

“Tommy’s what we used to call a “joiner,” he began to explain, “Dreams of becomin’ a hero. So he enlisted in the Army right outta high school. A few months later, they ship him off to Desert Storm,” he allowed for Ellie’s confused gaze, “That’s what they called that war, it doesn’t matter. Point is, bein’ in the Army didn’t make him feel much like a hero. Cut to twelve years late, outbreak happens. He convinces me to join a group makin’ their way up to Boston, which I did…mostly to keep an eye on him, keep him alive.”

Y/n’s stomach turned, she wasn’t just hearing about what had become of Tommy…she was hearing about what had happened to Joel after they broke up. Gaps she’d wanted filled for twenty years.

“It’s where we met Tess,” Joel continued, breaking for a sip of coffee, “And that whole crew, we, uh…well, for what it was, it worked. And then Tommy meets Marlene. She talks him into joinin’ the Fireflies. Same mistake he made when he was eighteen,” Joel’s tone turned bitter, his voice quivering an almost undetectable amount, “Wants to save the world. Pipe dream. Him. Fireflies, all of ‘em…” he didn’t dare meet Y/n’s eyes, “Delusional.”

Y/n lifted her feet up and hugged her knees, she knew the remark was meant for both her and Tommy. And while her anger with Joel hadn’t lost its momentum, she let him continue. He needed to get it all out.

“‘Course last I heard, he quit the Fireflies too,” Joel went on, “So now he’s on his own out there, and…I gotta go get him.”

The car was washed in a somber silence. Only one of them was brave enough to break it.

“If you don’t think there’s hope for the world,” Ellie said, “Why bother going on? I mean, you gotta try, right?”

“You haven’t seen the world,” Joel said, a little wistful, “So you don’t know. You keep goin’ for family. That’s about it.”

The five words pierced through Y/n’s heart, the wooden arrow splintering inside the chambers. Each syllable was like taking a knife to the carefully placed stitches around her soul.

“I’m not family,” Ellie said, blissfully unaware of the situation surrounding her.

“No,” Joel agreed, “You’re cargo. And I made a promise to Tess. And she was like family.”

Numbness set in and Y/n rested her head against the window, focusing on the rolling fields of rural America. If Ellie wasn’t in the car, she would have let herself go off on Joel, but it wasn’t the time.

“What if you don’t find him?” Ellie asked the man.

“I will,” Joel replied,

“How do you know?” 

“I’m persistent,” Joel stated before switching gears, “You got up pretty early, if you wanna grab more sleep.”

Ellie scoffed, “I’m not even tired.”

Within a few minutes, Ellie was beginning to doze off. Y/n gently tapped her shoulder, gesturing for her to climb into the backseat. She helped pull her through and Ellie settled against the opposite window.

Joel drove them for an hour in silence before Y/n couldn’t stand being still anymore.

“Pull over,” she told him, “Let’s switch.”

Joel was tired enough to listen to her, stopping the car in the middle of the road. They unbuckled and got out, meeting at the front. 

“You’re wrong, you know,” Y/n said once they were face to face, “About Tommy, about the Fireflies…all of it.”

“You wanna prove me wrong, have at it,” Joel replied, disgruntled by the whole idea.

“Tommy wanting to be a hero is him wanting to help people,” Y/n kept going, “To fight. To do the right thing. When has that ever been a bad thing?”

Joel nearly scoffed, “Maybe when it gets him killed.”

“If he’s still here after all these years, maybe you need to stop looking at him like he’s some idiot kid. You don’t get to judge the people who are trying to get some of this,” Y/n spread her arms out to the wide open space around them, “Any of this back. It’s a hell of a lot more than you seem to be doing.”

Joel rested a hand on the truck’s hood, “Maybe I don’t feel the need to waste my time on a pointless cause. Last time I checked, that was all the Fireflies ever accomplished.”

“At least I’m doing something,” Y/n fought back, “I’d rather spend the rest of my life on a pointless cause and go to sleep with what’s left of my soul than sell it to the devil and not recognize my own damn reflection.”

Joel felt the last part of her sentence push into his gut like the tip of a spear. She was hitting too close to home without knowing it.

“‘Keep going for family,’” Y/n repeated, practically spitting the last words, “When was the last time you fought for anything?”

Joel reached out, grabbing Y/n’s arm roughly as she turned away and spun her around. If she hadn’t dug her boots into the asphalt, she would have fallen right into him.

“You don’t know what I’ve fought for,” he growled, his eyes boring into hers.

Y/n’s chest rose and fell rapidly with rage, inching her face closer to his to show him she wasn’t afraid of him. “Neither do you,” she seethed.

Their breaths mingled in the few inches left separating their mouths. Neither one of them were making any real threats, there was simply too much tension between them to ensure a safe car ride. They needed to let it out.

Joel realized his fingers were digging into Y/n’s arm, it had happened when she had moved closer to him. Habits were tricky to break, but the body didn’t hold grudges like the mind.

The close proximity wasn’t lost on Y/n, but she was able to free herself from it before muscle memory took over. She yanked her arm out of Joel’s grip and took the keys from his other hand, stomping around to the driver’s seat and getting in. Joel unhappily followed, and their wordless journey continued…

—————————

Joel caught maybe thirty consecutive minutes of sleep while Y/n drove them. It wasn’t that she was a bad driver, he just wasn’t used to not being in control of a situation. He gripped the map tightly as they drove into downtown Kansas City.

Surrounding them were rusted abandoned vehicles, but the tunnel in which they needed to go through was blocked entirely by a semi. Y/n brought the car to a halt, glancing over at Joel knowingly.

“Wait here,” she told Ellie, who had just woken up.

Joel and Y/n got out, Joel grabbing their shotguns from the backseat. He handed hers over and the team took calculated steps towards the tunnel. Joel crouched down to get a peek at the open road waiting on the other side of the mess. The semi was parked that way deliberately.

Joel walked back to the truck, Y/n only a step behind him. They got back in their seats seat, Ellie squeezing over the glove compartment. 

“Where are we?”

“Kansas City,” Joel answered quickly, taking the map from her. The three of them studied it.

“How far back do we have to go to get around this?” Ellie asked.

Joel traced their route with his fingertip, Y/n tugged the map closer so she could study it too. There weren’t a lot of options if they had a prayer of getting to Wyoming within their time frame. They could either go back, costing them a few more hours, or take their chances passing through the city.

Y/n sighed, everything she was about to say went against what she wanted to say….

“It’s your call.”

Joel was honestly surprised that she had relented so quick. “Screw it,” he muttered, “Head back ‘round the tunnel, get on the next ramp. We’ll be back on the road, minute tops.”

Y/n put the truck in reverse and backed them up, swinging around a shoulder of road that would take them into the city.

“You guys are my eyes,” Y/n said as she navigated the first set of streets, 

“Tell me where to go.”

“Look for any signs,” Joel instructed while Ellie read the map.

They drove for about five minutes, having gotten no closer to finding the open road.

“Where the fuck is the highway?” Joel complained.

“I can’t tell from this,” Ellie let her hand fall against the map, “I’m all turned around.”

Joel was trying to help Ellie navigate while also keeping an eye peeled for potential threats. “Well, don’t look at the state map, look at the inset,” he directed.

Ellie groaned, “Well, I don’t know where we are in that either! This is my second day in a fucking car, man. I mean, I think we’re heading north?”

“I don’t even see any fucking signs,” Y/n mentioned.

“It’s gotta be the right,” Joel said, shaking his head, ”What the fuck?”

“Y/n stop,” Ellie exclaimed.

Y/n threw on the brake, bringing them to a halt in the middle of the street.

“Is that the QZ?” Ellie asked, her eyes wide as she peered over Y/n, “Where the fuck is FEDRA?”

Joel and Y/n got a look at where the Quarantine Zone should have been, zero military presence. That was unfathomable.

“Hey,” a voice called, their attention was drawn to a man limping towards their truck, “Please help.”

Y/n and Joel’s blood ran cold, they knew exactly what was about to go down.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Joel told Ellie, throwing his on as well.

“Aren’t we gonna help him?” Ellie asked innocently.

Y/n said a silent prayer to anyone who was listening for survival.

“No,” Joel answered, looking to his ex, “Drive. Now.”

Y/n pressed her foot down on the gas pedal, the “injured” leaping out of the way. The man cried something out she couldn’t hear over the blood pounding in her ears.

“Y/N!” Ellie screamed.

Y/n was too busy driving to see what Ellie and Joel were watching, but the message was received when a large object got dropped on their windshield. Y/n swerved, Joel reached over to steady the wheel as she regained control. In their mad dash effort, they didn’t notice the strip of nails ahead of them. The truck shook as its tires began to deflate. 

“Fuck!” Y/n yelled, “What do we do?”

“Hard right into that building,” Joel shouted, there was another guy in their path, “Now!”

Instincts ignored, Y/n pulled to the right, holding her breath as they smashed through the glass windows of the nearest building.

——————

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[forsakenwitchery]

It's been a long time since I've really ranted about something on here but like.

HOTD is just… On another level of bad? At some point this season, I got so tired of getting angry with the writing I just straight up started laughing at almost every single scene. I managed to find a sliver of enjoyment in the shitshow what S2 turned out to be. Not anymore.

Small costest backstage at the end because I felt like looking at myself smiling after writing all this down lol

Having seen some and read about some E8 leaks I'm just… I guess I'm checking out. What they've done to the Greens and specifically Aemond this season is Merlin's 'Morgana suddenly full evil' level of shit writing. And I can't handle yet another favorite nuanced character of mine being stripped of any nuance by the shit writers. But at least with Morgana there was a lot of her, and with Aemond it's 2 minutes of peak character assassination per episode and it isn't cutting it.

I feel so bad for Ewan and the rest of the Green actors who gave it their all - and in some scenes you can clearly see Ewan giving his all trying to fight the shitty writing, but there's only so much an actor can do with a script so bad.

Like when in ep. 5 everyone kept referring to Aemond as if he's suddenly Satan incarnate (Alicent, Daemon ahhh pretty sure there was someone else this episode ‘cause I remember three characters) I knew they decided to flip the switch with Aemond suddenly going full caricature villain (and yeah he was no saint BUT LIKE BBQ-ING HIS BRO?) with no proper buildup for it but HOLY SHIT I didn’t think it would be ‘blink and he’s full on sociopathic villain’. And the way they really did try and hammer that point home with him yanking Helaena now is just… Fucking wild. But like, he wasn’t wrong with dismissing Alicent who turned out to be the biggest traitor on TG this season (RIP S1 Alicent). He’s not wrong in saying they need Dreamfyre. But the show sure did go about him technically not being wrong yet showing it in the worst way possible very... head-on and with lacking any nuance. It truly feels like Condal & Co just couldn’t handle how popular Aemond became in S1 and gave him as little screen time as possible while simultaneously trying to make him as unsympathetic and suddenly 180 as possible. Which just doesn’t work without the proper buildup if you stop to think for even one second.

Then we’ve got Alicent who drilled it into her sons’ heads they’ll be dead unless they fight Rhae and now she’s also 180 and doesn’t understand why they want to fight and turns out to be the biggest traitor basically surrendering her children, the city and her brother to the woman whose husband killed her grandchild. The fuck did S1 Alicent go? Can we see her? Is she in the room with us? You know, the one jumping Rhae with the knife for Aemond? By all means, she and Aemond should have had a dynamic akin to Cersei and Joffrey’s if they were dead-set on making Aemond pretty much THE (only) villain in the show (which should have been about everyone being a criminal lmao). But like… We came to THIS? THE FUCK. THE FUUUUCK. Like imagine for one second Cersei pretty much throwing her kids to their enemies. This is. I don’t know which level of bad writing is this. We’re so far past the rock bottom at this point, the bottom doesn’t exist, the depths this season has reached don’t even have a proper name.

Then we’ve got Helaena. All season I’ve been waiting to see more of her. All season. And I waited. And waited. Her being the Dreamer sounded cool on paper. And they just ended up using her as a device to show ‘Aemond bad’ again? And HELP DAEMON? And like... to spoil the end of the story for those unfamiliar? THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

Like damn, I knew they were baiting us with the promo and I knew it would be OOC for her to want to fight but at the same time I was kinda hoping at least she’d want to? Like she’s sane in the show. Her son was beheaded in front of her eyes. I kept hoping this show would have at least ONE female character actually willing to fight, but no. The balcony scene was good. But in spite, not thanks to what the writers clearly meant for this scene to be. Phia and Ewan really did give this scene their all and try to add nuance where they just once again tried to write Aemond off as a dick.

I haven’t seen the Aegon scene but apparently, they tried to make him look dumb again? And since there’s no rush to vacate KL in the show, why the hell didn’t he try to at least take his daughter with him? Like we get it, show, you hate the Greens and therefore all the Greens hate each other apparently (not buying it no matter how much you’re selling it tho), so him not bothering with Helaena is like okaaaay suuuure (not), but HIS KID? He was the hightlight of the first part of this season, and now we're... back at it again. Yay.

Also tbh I hated Daemyra as a concept in S1 as a ship but I LOVED their dynamic if it makes sense. It was truly interesting and both characters really shone in their shared scenes, so when Rhae’s arc this season started to feel like Groundhog Day I really missed Daemyra since at least their push and pull with Daemon made her feel more alive and interesting idk. But like. Their reunion scene looks like a grand meh? Daemon looks like he cares. Rhae came off to me like she doesn’t give a single fuck about him. Rhae in general was one of my fave characters in S1 and now it’s just. Huh? Them trying to saintify her absolutely ruined the character for me, she’s just so bland now which with her amount of screen time just… Doesn’t make for a very compelling show.

So. Yep. Those are my thoughts and feelings. tbh I don’t even know when I became so attached to the Greens. Like maybe it was in spite of the show trying to ruin and ignore them. Sort of like when you start rooting for the underdogs. But now I just feel really hollow and drained and sad for the actors. On both teams tbh, ‘cause like… What even is the point of this show anymore? There’s no war. Aemond is the only one who’s willing to wage it and the show villainizes him for it. Even in ep. 8 Rhae still says she doesn’t wanna fight the war. What did we spend 8 episodes, then, on aside from some character assassinations?

What’s the point if you don’t really feel anything towards most of the characters? Not even anger or apathy? ‘Cause like, I couldn’t care less when Rhaenys died. I’m sure when Jace kicks the bucket it would be the same. If the characters themselves can’t be bothered (where’s the aftermath for Blood and Cheese ffs?), why and HOW the hell should the viewers care? I’m sure they’ll find a way to make even Helaena’s death as meaningless as possible with giving her zero agenda in the matter.

I truly don’t think I’ll be watching S3. I don’t think I have it in me to witness how they screw up the Greens even more than they already did. It’s not even fun anymore how dumb the show is, it’s just draining. Motivations and relationships changing 180 between episodes or even during them (sometimes even during scenes), major events not phasing anyone and having no consequences. Characters the show chose as THE main characters living in Groundhog Day with nothing to do. We’re supposed to just believe the characters are suddenly completely different than they were weeks/months ago in show’s time just because the show says so. HOW ABOUT NO?

I’m only holding out hope for Daeron but at this point? I’m sure he’ll have a total o 1-2 minutes of screen time each episode as well and they’ll ruin him somehow, too. Still funny though how him and Aemond are both 16 which I’m sure is just another writing plot hole but on the off chance it isn’t… The only cool and redeemable thing the show can do at this point in my eyes is make Daeron and Aemond twins. You know, at the very least to give Ewan the screen time he deserves AND give him some better material to work with. But ah well.

At this point I’m choosing to more or less ignore everything that’s happened in S2, ‘cause the sure itself sure as hell ignored 2/3 of it, so why can’t I. Honestly, I want to do a full Helaena and Aemond cosplay, not a costest, if not for any other reason than to freaking forget S2 ever happend and maybe do some scenes which should have been in it, shippery or not. tbh I wasn't even shipping Helaemond until I saw Ewan and Phia's interviews about them and I was SO HYPED. And Tom's interviews. I was so hyped for siblings interecting in general and I feel like both the actors and the audience were done dirty in the worst way possible.

Also also the last thing I want to say is that it's super sad to see viewers turning on Aemond because it's so clear that's what the show wants everyone to do and neither Aemond nor Ewan deserve it. That's very telling of how badly he's written this season, he's not a villain you love to hate, he's just there for people to hate him. I hope at least Ewan doesn't get hate for his character, but we all know some people are braindead enough to project characters onto actors, so... :(

ALSO ALSO ALSO I don't really feel like fighting over this show because I don't think it deserves any more of my nerve cells, so should anyone decide to come at me for this post don't bother, I'll just reply with print screening this part. But it's kinda funny how tumblr seemed to have an actual war over this show when the show straight up refused to commit to anything.

To everyone who has read thus far – here, have some cute backstages from our costest. I’m sure we could all use a hug and a laugh. I know I could.

[prettyyoungandbored]

First Date - Dr. James Wilson

Pairing: Dr. James Wilson x Fem!OC

Summary: Takes place during S.1, Ep.20. Before his date with Cameron, House gets advice from both Wilson and his wife.

Warnings: Certain lines are directly from the show so credit goes to the writer. There is also mentions of a panic attack.

A knock on House’s front door drew both House and Wilson’s attention. House made his way over.

“You made her come here?” Wilson asked.

House opened the door to find Odette Wilson standing there. She scrunched her nose, head cocking back.

“At least put in a little more effort and add a tie,” she commented.

House turned to Wilson. “Number Three is here.”

Odette pat his arm as she made her way inside. Wilson sat up on the couch.

“Honey, what’re you doing here?” he asked.

She gave him a peck on the cheek. “House going on a date with Cameron? I’m not missing this.”

She threw off her coat, putting it on the arm of the couch as she took a seat beside Wilson on the couch.

“You told her?” House asked Wilson.

“Cameron told me,” Odette corrected. “She sounded very excited about it.”

“So why aren’t you at her place bothering her?”

“Because I like bothering you. Also, it wouldn’t kill you to get advice from a woman you actually tolerate.”

Wilson turned to House. “She has a point.”

Wilson then laid down, resting his head on his wife’s lap. Her hand carded through his perfect brunette hair, her nails gently scratching his head and easing any leftover tension or stress from work.

She handed him the newspaper lying on the table before picking up a random magazine.

“So, what wisdom can you thrust upon me, Number Three?” House asked as he opened his closet door, which revealed a mirror hung on the back of the door. “Remind me, did Wilson tell you about the wives that came before you on your first date?”

“Funny enough he saved it for the third date,” she recalled. “That said, exes are off the table when it comes to first date conversation.”

“Then what else do we talk about?” he asked as he reached for a red tie.

“Literally anything else,” she said. “It is not that hard.”

Wilson looked up at and noticed House’s tie.

“The wide side’s too short. You’re gonna look like Lou Costello,” he remarked.

Despite his attempts to tie it, he found himself failing.

“This is a mistake. I don’t know how to have casual conversation,” House said.

Odette got up, gently moving Wilson off her lap. She walked over to House and held out her hand.

“Give me the tie,” she said. “I can pre-tie it so all you have to do is just tighten.”

“Do I look like a child to you?” House snapped.

Her hazel eyes glared at him. “Give me the fucking tie, House.”

He rolled his eyes, handing the red fabric to her. As she started to work on the tie, she continued, “House, casual conversations are not that hard. You-.”

House cut her off. “You think you’re talking about one thing, and either you are and it’s incredibly boring, or you’re not because it’s subtext and you need a decoder ring.”

“You sound awfully nervous for a date you say you don’t want to go on,” Odette remarked.

“I’m not nervous. I have been on a date.”

“Not since disco died,” Wilson commented.

Odette snorted as she presented house with the tie. “Put it over your head and tighten it.”

He took it from her and made his way back to the mirror. He put the tie over his head.

Wilson continued. “Comment on her shoes, her earrings, and then move on to D.H.A.”

Odette, leaning on the wall, cracked a smile as House turned to Wilson for clarification.

“Her dreams, hopes, and aspirations. Trust me. Panty peeler.”

House eyed Odette for confirmation. She nodded her head, a slightly embarrassed smile played out on her lips.

“Oh, and if you need condoms, I’ve got some,” Wilson chimed in again. “Got them from a drug rep. They’ve got antibiotics built in, somehow.”

House moved into the kitchen. “I should cancel.”

Wilson and Odette eyed each other before quickly heading into the kitchen together.

“Don’t cancel on her,” Wilson said.

“I’ve got a patient in surgery tomorrow.”

“And if you were a surgeon, that would actually matter.”

Odette then chimed in. “I almost cancelled on Wilson and I’s first date.”

The two men looked at her, stunned by how casually she admitted it.

“You did?” Wilson asked, his face softened.

“Yeah, I had a panic attack about the date and I nearly cancelled,” she said. “I was so terrified and stressed that I would mess it up. I was so attracted to you and I had a history of messing things up on dates. I figured I’d mess up with you and the thought of that killed me. I was at work and I could feel it building up during a session with a client. Once they left I started hyperventilating. The front desk receptionist almost called 911 but the other therapist in the building came in and talked me down. She asked me if I really wanted to cancel and I said ‘no.’ So, I didn’t.”

House rolled his eyes in disgust.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Wilson asked.

“I figured it didn’t matter,” she said with a shrug. “Besides, it all worked out.”

He threw his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. “It certainly did.”

The sound of the fridge opened drew the couple’s attention back to House who grabbed something out of it. Wilson went to say something when House revealed a corsage in a plastic case.

“This is lame, isn’t it?” House asked, cringing a bit.

Wilson and Odette smiled.

“I think she likes lame,” Wilson esponded.

==========================

As Wilson and Odette watched House speed off on his motorbike, Odette put a hand on Wilson’s back.

“Should we go to the restaurant and spy on House and Cameron?” she asked, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

He squinted, pretending to think for a moment. “I actually have a better idea. Let’s go home and recreate the end of our second date.”

She hummed in delight. “That was fun. Definitely in my top three.”

“Top three of what?”

“Our sex adventures.”

His eyes widened. “You rank them?!”

“Oh don’t act like you don’t do the same thing.”

“Dare I ask what number one is?”

“Our wedding night.”

He grinned at the memory. “That was a great night.” He shoved his hands into his jacket pocket. “If I had told you about my ex wives on our first date, would you have gone on a second date with me?”

She nodded. “I would’ve considered it a bold move. But you also were so open and honest and I appreciated it. Made me feel like you actually wanted to be with me.”

“I’ve wanted to be with you since our first date. Why do you think I was so quick to make that second date?”

She licked her lip and glanced at House’s apartment. “Wanna recreate our second date in House’s bed?”

[kazumist]

EPISODE 19 ♡ AFTERGLOW AND DAYLIGHT

HOW YOU GET THE GIRL — A SCARAMOUCHE SMAU

masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 1001.

when dawn came upon him, kuni heard nothing from you. and when the afternoon passed, there was still nothing. he was slowly getting nervous and worried. he hasn’t heard anything from your group ever since he saw kazuha’s car leave last night.

but he still held onto that small speck of hope.

the hope that made him, broke him, and left him begging for more. hope is a dangerous thing for someone who doesn’t know how to stop. for someone like kunikuzushi. but is it really worth it to give up when he's finally given a sign that his love is going to be reciprocated?

so he waited for you, just like he always did. after all, kuni will never get tired of waiting for you.

he paces back and forth in the living room of his condominium, wondering what to do. if he had to be honest, he really should’ve made you chase him a bit more. but even so, how can he resist when you literally told him that you loved him the night before? the rain started getting stronger, and it was around six in the evening already.

kuni sits down, deciding that he should just order himself some takeout. as soon as he tapped the place order button, his doorbell rang. confused, he opens the door.

and there you were, drenched from head to toe.

“i love you.”

“well, aren’t you soaked?” he replies, leaning against the doorstep.

you roll your eyes at him, fighting back a smile. “let me get dried, first," he chuckles. “alright.” when you entered his condo, you made your way straight to the bathroom to dry yourself. but before you could close the bathroom door, kuni called out to you.

“and (name)?”

“yeah?”

“i love you more.”

“really now?” you teased.

“what a way to ruin the mood.” this time, it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“i was kidding! look at me; i’m literally blushing right now.”

“uh huh. get yourself dried already.”

you smiled at him fondly before you shut the door. and once you were done, you asked to borrow an extra shirt from him since you were wet from the rain. you sat down next to him, wearing his shirt, which is slightly bigger than yours.

“so.”

“so?”

“do you remember anything from last night?” he asks.

“yeah, from entering the bar up until you know.”

“no, i don’t.” he says. you glare at him in return, in which he just gave you an all knowing smile in response. “up to when you kissed me!”

“what took you so long, though?”

“oh, i slept the whole day, but i immediately made my way here when i woke up.” 

he nodded in acknowledgment. and then there was silence.

“i’m sorry," you suddenly say. “what for?”

“for everything—the mixed signals, the mean things i’ve said before towards you, especially after we broke up, for raising my pride far too high, and for that... night, especially that night, but most of all, i’m sorry that i took this long.” 

you took a deep breath.

“i love you, kuni. i’m ready now. i want to love you the way you love me—an unconditional, pure, and committed love. i’ll stop being scared now.”

it felt relieving to finally say those words out. this is what you’ve been waiting for ever since the night you realized you couldn’t lose kunikuzushi again in your life.

“took you long enough.” you let out a light laugh at his words. “i know.”

“but… can i ask?”

“go ahead.”

“what took you so long?”

“ah. well, you know. i just thought you were just too good to be true back then. i felt like i didn’t deserve you, and the fact that we were going through our first year didn’t really help either because i felt pressured. we lasted during twelveth grade during college application season, sure, but things just became… different when college actually came around. i didn’t know what i wanted back then; i drowned myself in studies, i ended up shutting you and the others out more than you could count.”

“but you still stayed with me despite that—despite me pushing you away. you understood me, and i really appreciated that. but you deserved someone better. you’re made for many, many great things, kuni. and i didn’t want to become some sort of hurdle for your career. so i broke up with you instead. you didn’t deserve to be with the old me, but now that i think of it, i was a red flag as of late, no?”

“i didn’t see you as a red flag,” he starts. “but honestly? you were a perfect example of a walking paradox. you didn’t know what you wanted, but i did. i wanted to show you that you deserve love despite having my own obstacles in life too. you’re the risk i wanted—no, you’re still the risk i want to take. if i had to choose someone over and over again, it would be you. it will always be you.”

 you wiped away the few tears that left your eyes. “thank you, kuni.”

 “don’t cry; did you know that you’re an ugly crier?”

“stop ruining the mood!” you smacked his arm. he laughs and proceeds to wipe away your tears for you. “but kuni?”

“mhm?”

“let’s take it slow again, okay?”

“of course.”

it may be unbelievable for others to believe that the snarky, usually grumpy, and typically cold kunikuzushi scaramouche is actually someone who would be like this in terms of love. but kunikuzushi couldn’t bring himself to love another after you; the love that he once believed was black and white turned out to be golden—something to remember, something to cherish. and you’d rather have kuni be the one to catch you every time your walls start crumbling around you; you’d rather have him be the one who would understand you and love you nonetheless.

you were his daylight. and he was your afterglow.

taglist (open): @yinyinggie @blue-b3rries @ryuryuryuyurboat @your-local-reblogging-kazoo @lilikags @haliyamori @diorlumx @mamafly @zuunotsane @iloveosamuu @featuredtofu @kana-de @xiaoderrrr @f1orent1ne @alhaitie @yelleloww @brain-r0tt @jamieexistss @danfelions @e0nssadrift @lovemari @kunikissr @chluuvr @lazy-sanns @lxkeeeee @swivy123 @sketcheeee @quacking-simp @tiredslepz @vxcmx @kichiy0shi @yingofthemoon @feiherp @sicut-sol @mayuumine @xiaosoneandonly @xtobefreex @bananasquash @im-the-ruler-here @hiraethhv @yumiaur @oughhhhmamamia @beriiov @cindywasneverhere @klanxii @fangygf @draclula @aromaticism @shotosjupiter @lyzisbitchingagain @lovelykrystal @riraaya @aether-darling @kochothehoe [1/2]

[igotanidea]

Empty promises: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

A/N: first of all, sorry to everyone wainting for "Traitor", but I felt the need to write something sad and heart wrenching so here;s that. For now. Angst coming right next. Oh, and you have been warned, this is sad. And got spoilers for ep.4/5.

***

„Alina? Are you decent?” Y/n peeked through the door the very second the queen’s seamstress left the room.

“Y/n! Please, come in. It’s so good to see your face.” Alina struggled in the dress “I wish I could greet you properly but I can’t, quite, move in this.”

“Oh, yes, I’ve heard some rumors about certain Saint and the outfit trouble.” Y/N laughed wholeheartedly ”I don’t think it’s really your style, no matter what the queen mother may have to say about that. I may have an idea to save you from that torture though. If, you let me, that is.”

“Please. Anything.” Alina shook her head

“All right then. You know, a tailor would probably be better with the fitting, but as an Inferni I can surely give you something to boost your confidence” Y/N started turning around, picking another outfit for sol koroleva.

“Y/N.” Alina said and the timbre of her voice made the other Grisha stop in her track and look up “How… How are holding up? With me and Nikolai….?”

“I’m fine” Y/N assured quickly. Too quickly to make it believable. “I just ….” She sighed deeply, gathering all the strength she had to finish that sentence “I just wish he told me sooner, you know. Not just leave me like that. Given all we have… had….” she corrected and covered a little tremble by coughing “But he just left me as surprised as any other Grisha in the room when he announced your engagement and  it feels like betrayal, Alina. “ she went silent for a minute “but yes, apart from that I am perfectly fine. Now, let’s focus on the suit.”

“Y/N” Alina grabbed her hand gently “I am sorry for what you are going through right now.”

“Well, we all have our burdens to carry, right? I suppose this is mine.”

“I know it does not make anything better, but I know about heartbreak and making tough choices. Nikolai loves you in a way he would never feel about me. And I feel that for Mal. This is all just a political alliance, nothing more.” Alina assured.

“You know, sancta, when Nikolai left to be Sturmhond I spend two years searching for him, east to west and south to north. And when I did and we got together this was the best time of my life. And I shouldn’t have enjoyed the sea so much, but with him, I did.  And even then I always had this little tingling inside my head. A sneaky voice that was telling me, that we would not last. Turns out I was right. And truly, no one is to blame for that.” The Inferni smiled sadly “This should do the work” she raised the garments she prepared for Alina “I should better go before the seamstress came back. Just for now pretend you’ll wear the dress , all right? Can’t show all the cards at once.” And with such words, she left the chamber, unnoticed by anyone.

The next person to come to Alina was not even remotely as welcomed as Y/N. Vasily came for a little chat coated with veiled threat and perhaps a bit of a warning, but Alina was too strong to let him beguile her.

And then, when time came Nikolai appeared at the door for a little pep talk.

“Well, you look lovely” he smiled eyeing Alina already up and ready in her second army regimentals.

“Y/N came and helped me put this little thing together. So much better than….” Her gaze focused on the dress nearby and the girl rolled her eyes.

“She’s been avoiding me.” The prince said sadly “not that I blame her, but how can she not miss my company even a little? Am I so easily forgettable. She really acts like I’ve grown a pair of horns or started breathing fire…..” he tried to keep his cool and joke around but Alina knew him well enough to see through it.

“She’s an Inferni. A little fire could never discourage her.  But she’s hurt. Twice as much since you kept her in the dark about this whole arrangement.”

“I wanted to save her pain. And possibly myself.”

“’You failed at that.” Alina pouted

“Anyway, I got something to complete the look.” He took a step closer and reached inside his pocket retrieving a green gem “the Lantsov emerald….”

“Nikolai, we don’t have to do this, if it’s too hard. “

“Let’s just keep the pretenses up, shall we? Just remember, shall you decide to punch me, you will probably take my eyes out with this on, and I would not like that.”

***

 “Have you seen Mal?” Alina started spinning around, searching for the one face she so desperately needed to see “It’s not like him to be late.”

“Perhaps your little tracker is not such a fan of festivities as you.” Vasily approached the pair from behind, with some drink in his hand and Alina immediately excused herself, leaving two brothers alone.

“You know, my little brother” Vasily started “I always knew you would not end up with that little Inferni. Why settle for a commoner when there’s a living saint in the palace.” He laughed and took a sip on his drink. “now you will get fire from someone else! I’m sure the Sankta had a lot of it, judging by her actions. And Y/N. Waste of time. She was always a challenge, even when she was a kid.”

“Don’t you dare talking about her like this.” Nikolai hissed, but still kept straight face in a prince-like manner

“Why do you even care at this point, brother? From what I know, she’s been avoiding you, am I right? But look” he pointed out in the crowd, where Y/N was talking to Nadia and Tamar, laughing for the first time in a while “she’s right there. Don’t you wanna talk to her. If has any dignity, which I doubt, she would not cause a scene in public.”

Even though Nikolai knew his brother was only goading him, his brain shut off when legs carried him towards the other side of the ballroom, straight to her.

“Y/N.” he spoke and all three girls turned around, each one of them showing different expression. Tamar was curious of what was going to happen, Nadia a bit stressed out about her friend, and Y/N…. Y/N was just in pain and nothing could have hid it.

“Moi tsarevich”  she bowed, avoiding his eyes

“Please, stop it. Can we… can we talk for a minute? Please.”

“We are  not going to interrupt you….”Nadia started, but Tamar was on the other side of the barricade in the matter.

“I will. I’m not leaving her with you in this state, Nikolai. You know, you are both my friends, but she’s the victim not the other way round. “

“Tamar” Y/N put a hand on her shoulder “it’s all right. It will be just a minute to clarify this little misunderstanding . I’ll be with you before you notice I was gone.”

“I still don’t like it…” Tamar muttered, but let Nadia drag her away to have a little chat with Adrik and watch Alina. When they both left Y/N took a deep breath and before Nikolai was able to say a thing she took the lead of the conversation.

“Nikolai. I don’t really think it’s appropriate to leave your fiancé alone. Especially with Vasiliy acting like a predator tonight.”

“Vasiliy is drunk.”

“He’s been drunk since the age of 18. Remember that time when we played a prank on him and had to run through the palace in the middle of the night?” she smiled

“And when we ended up squeezed in the cupboard to avoid his wrath? Yes, I remember that.” Now they were both laughing outloud “I also remember what happened later on….”

“Nik. Stop it” she warned, her cheeks getting a bit flushed. Of course he had to refer to the moment they shared their first kiss “this is not the time or the place.”

“My feelings for you did not change.”

‘And do you think mine did? But you are engaged now. And I get it, Nik, I really do. You did what you though was right, as always and I can’t blame me for that. We are all pawns in this crazy political game and the point is to minimalize the  damage. If that means you getting with Alina then I cannot interfere. I still be there for you both. Even if it is in the sideline.

“Y/N…. I….”

“It’s all right” she raised her hands almost embracing him, but stopped herself in the last minute. “You should probably go join your family, your mother has been eyeing us for a while now and she knows we have past. Can’t risk anyone getting suspicious, right? Moi tsarevich” she bowed and went back to join Tamar, Adrik and Nadia, who pulled her into a hug.

From then on, everything started happening extremely fast. Vasiliy came onto the podium to gave some mockery speech about his brother, the man of the hour, but in the middle of it, Darkling’s shadow monster decided to drop by and well, cause a little havoc, killing the speaker and some other gathered people. It was chaos. Alina, Tamar, Adrik, Nadia and Y/N were trapped on the one side of the room, while the Lantsov (or rather whatever was left of this family) where stuck on the other.

“They have no heart, no pulse, no nothing!” Tamar exclaimed trying to use her heartrender powers

“Every creature has a weakness” Adrik spit, observing the monsters carefully from behind the table they used as some sort of shield, Y/N following in his steps.

“Those are shadows” the girl said “Look, Adrik, you were right, they have to be in their full form to touch and hurt someone!”

Before another shadow could attack Nikolai and his mother, Adrik came from one side throwing a gust of wind his way, Nadia doing the same on the other. Y/N used this as an opportunity to grab a spark from the nearby candle and throw a fireball straight into the middle of it. For a second, when the monster was tearing apart her gaze met with Nikolai’s who was just frozen like a deer in the spotlight.

“GO!” she yelled at him “Take whoever you can and GO!”

“Everyone into the tunnels!” Nikolai ordered, but before he himself rushed off, he just threw one last glance at his one true love and moved his mouth silently.

“Come back to me.”

***

“You three go find Alina, I’ll go check if there’s anyone lost in the corridors to get them to safety” Y/N commanded her friends ready to run the other way

“Have you lost your mind!?” Tamar spit at her “You are not going anywhere alone.”

“I’ll be fine Tamar.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that from you hundreds times before.”

“And I am still alive. A little bruised and scared but alive. Not planning on dying today, I swear. Alina needs you three and there’s no time, so I’ll just see you downstairs. GO!”

***

 She was running one of the palace corridors, stating with the greatest relief that all the Grisha that were not killed were off the palace and probably on the way to the tunnel. She almost reached the entrance, but mere meters before, another shadow monster blocked her way.

“Oh, Saint!” she hissed annoyed and focused her energy to gather just a little bit of flame since sadly, there wasn’t any external source of it anywhere near. It was always harder to get fire from nothing, but it used to work for her. Most of the times.

Not this one.

The fire that came out of her hands were so weak it barely reached the shadows let alone cause them any harm.

“Oh, shit…” she mumbled when darkness enveloped her whole and tried once again, this time fueled by fury and worry about her friends. Maybe Tamar was right and she shouldn’t have left them. Nonetheless that was not the time to dwell on the past mistakes, since it was extremely hard to breath inside that fog the monster were created from. It was like all of a sudden she found herself in the fold again, broken and scared. “Hell no! I am not dying today” she put her hands up causing a flare and dissipated the shadows finally getting herself free.

If only it wasn’t for that cut with sharp, thorn-like edges on her  leg, which she did not notice or feel.

***

“Is everyone safe?” Nikolai came from one entrance to the tunnels, meeting with Alina and Tamar coming from the opposite.

“Adrik got hurt in the arm, Nadia is with him.” Alina explained “the healers are taking care of the injured. What about the ones you came with?”

“Saved as many as possible” Nikolai turned around “where is …..?”

“That idiotic girl left us and came for the rescue. I told her she should not….” Tamar’s voice broke a little

“Where is she, Tamar?!”

“We… We don’t know…..”

“I’m here!” all the emotions he felt upon hearing her voice where just too much to handle and not caring about anyone  or anything or whether he was acting like an engaged prince he took off running towards her, wrapping arms around her and pulling her close to his chest.

“You’re safe, love. You’re safe.” He whispered again and again caressing her back, tangling fingers In her soft, messy hair and just getting lost in her.

“Nik…” she gasped taking a sharp inhale “I… I don’t really feel so good….” She stumbled a bit and this made him worry.

“I know, darling, but you were so brave up there. You saved my life with that little trick of yours. And you always said you couldn’t do fireballs. Guess me being in danger enhanced your…..”

“Nik, I really do not feel good” she mumbled and all her strength suddenly left her when her legs gave up and she collapsed into his arms, the embrace being the only thing shielding her from falling straight to the ground.

“Y/n? Come on, tell me, what is it, where does it hurt?” he started panicking just in the slightest.

“My leg….”

“May I?” he hesitated before lifting the material of her pants.

“Saints! Stop being a gentleman now! ” Tamar hissed and started tearing the pant-leg “I wish you were this polite at all those night on the ship instead of giving the crew sleepless nights “Oh….”

“How… how bad is it?” Y/N asked, raising her head from where It laid on Nikolai’s chest and he quickly turned her head away.

“It’s gonna be fine” he assured, grabbing her righter and kissing her temple “I’ll get you to a healer, all right?”

“Mhmmm……” she mumbled, slowly losing consciousness.

“I’m gonna lift you now, ok?” one of his hands sneaked around her back, the other went below her legs when he moved her from the ground “you’re gonna be ok, just don’t close your eyes, love.”

Out of instinct Alina wanted to join them on their walk to healers, but Tamar stopped her.

“Don’t” she shook her head, eyes a bit glassy.

“No.” Alina just stated. “Please tell me it’s not….” bus since Tamar was a heartrender there was really no point in arguing.

***

“Nik…. You smell so good.” Y/N hid face in his chest, locking arms around his neck

“I am all sweaty from the fight and running, honey. As much as I love what you are saying I do not smell good.”

“You smell like the ocean.” She smiled lightly “Like the sunny day on volkvolny”

“We’re going to have a thousand more of such days so you could dwell on the smell.”

 “I…. I don’t really think so, Niki.” She hissed in pain when he reached one of the makeshift flop and called upon the healer

“Always a joker, aren’t you?”

“I wish” she started coughing, a little blood appearing on the hand she tried to cover her mouth with. “Tell me the truth, Nik. How bad is it. Cause it hurts like hell.”

“I don’t want to look. I;m not a healer, I don’t have any experience…..”

“You…” she gasped “are a trained soldier. You know about wounds. Tell me.”

“It’s not good” he closed his eyes almost like those words caused him unimaginable pain and grabbed her hands. “but the healers…..”

“The healers have too much work on their hands. And judging by your voice….” She coughed  a bit more

“Sh, don’t say anything more. Let me just… Grigori!” he called upon one of the corporalki “she needs help.”

“Immediately, moi tsar” Grisha answered and it was probably the first time Nikolai realized that he was the king now.

“Moi tsar” Y/N smiled faintly “it suits you so well, lapushka. Auch! It hurts….”

“I’m sorry Y/N, this wound is unusually deep and it seems like there’s some kind of venom in your veins, going straight to the heart and…..” Grigori started slurring

“There’s nothing you can do, right?” she asked simply

“I’m so deeply sorry, Y/N, moi tsar.”

“Not your fault.”

“Leave us.” Nikolai hissed through gritted teeth and Grigori practically run away trying to avoid king’s fury “Y/N….” he leaned toward her, cupping her pale cheek and caressing it gently “I don’t want you to go….”

“Selfish. As usual. You don’t want me to go, mhm. Do you think I…. auch, want to die like this?”

“I need you with me….” He kissed the top of her head

“Selfish. Again. You got the sun summoner now."

"You are my sun."

"Stop flirting with me on .... on my .... death.... deathbed" she squirmed trying to lift herself up but it was too painful “Help… me….” She panted and Nikolai grabbed her waist with one hand and supported her back with another “I don’t have much time left… I feel it almost in my heart….”

“I don’t want to go on without you.” he whispered

“I know.” tears started showing in her eyes and he wiped them away breathing heavily “I’m scared Nik” she admitted trembling “I feel so cold. Can you just hold me? I don’t….” she gulped “I don’t want to go alone….”

“I’m here with you. No matter where you go, afterlife, I will find you, I swear.”

“Not if…ekhem! Oh, saints, it hurts so much” she cried and his heart broke at that sobbing coming from her. The sounds he would never recover from. Reminded that he failed to protect the only person he ever truly loved. And to think she was dying in his arms, while he was about to marry another woman. This was like a punch in the guts “not if I hunt you first.”

“I love you” he just had to say it. Maybe it was selfish again, but he needed to know that were the last words he said to her “I love you and I will always love you.” he kissed her knuckles, looking straight into her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Nik. And I’m sure you will….” Her voice was becoming so small, so quiet, almost audible in all commotion “… have a long, happy and fulfilled life. You’ll be great king. And a father…. I….” she closed her eyes “I’ll see you later, Nik…..” and just like that there was silence.

And this was the exact moment Tamar clenched her fist and faced the wall, her back to other Grishas so no one would see single tear falling from her eye.  

She said she’ll be fine…….  Empty promises always hurt the receiving end  of those.

***

“Nikolai? We need someone to get everyone together and ….” Zoya was blissfully unaware of the tragedy that just fell upon the king and was her usual self when she entered the part of tunnels were healers were stationed “what… what happened?”  she stuttered at the view in front of her eyes.

Nikolai was not a king at the moment. He was just a broken man who just lost the love of his life. Not crying, just sitting next to her still figure, holding and caressing her cold hand, unable to stop. Almost like he was in a trance. For what he cared the world could stop spinning and it would not make any difference for him. But for her…. He was going to do anything to avenge her death. But he would do that in a second, for now, he just wanted and needed to stay with her a bit more, even if that meant just watching her face, surprisingly peaceful and running a hand through her hair.

If only he could indulge in that greedy need.

“Goodbye, my love….” He whispered planting one final kiss on her forehead and tugging at his hair stood up to protect and guide his people, his subjects.

[scarisd3ad]

To the end and back | Daryl Dixon x reader

Chapter twenty six | I love you, I’m sorry

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Warnings - ANGST! Guns, and shooting, Death, mentions of sex, cursing, usual twd warnings

Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.

(A/N) - it’s finally here! Yay I’ve been working on this chapter since may and I’m so happy I’ve finally finished it. I know progress with my fics have been moving a little slower that they usually do but I’m hoping fingers crossed 🤞that I am able to speed the process up a little in the coming months 🫶🏻 also finally introducing the governor as the readers father in this chapter, I kind of hinted at it last chapter, to play around with the idea of it being canon. And I really like the ideas and situations I’ve came up in my head to put them in.

‘The suicide king’

S3 ep 9

Daryl is unbagged and pushed forward towards the middle of the arena. Merle and Daryl stand frozen, their eyes scanning the crowd in utter disbelief. The deafening sound of boos and heckles echoes throughout the arena, drowning out any other noise. Daryl's chest is heaving, faster and faster with each shout made from the audience of people. A blonde woman is attempting to force her way through a group of people, most likely the Governor's personal bodyguards, to get closer to him.

She manages to get through the first set before a surprise second set grabs her up before she can even get to his side. The governor - or maybe I should just start calling him Philip - because I finally know who the man behind the oh-so-mysterious name 'the governor' is. It's funny, I've been looking for this man for the last, what? 20 years of my life and I'm able to find him not even a year into the apocalypse so easily. How could he avoid his kids for 20 years in the old world, but he couldn't even last a year without me finding him now?

I really want to know how my father, Philip Blake, ended up being some dictator for a survivor's refugee camp. I almost want to laugh at how 'badass' he looks right now. makeshift eyepatch over one eye, as he looked over all his people so proud to be an asshole. My father was never much of a threat, but god he tried to be, though he really tried. I didn't hear much about my dad growing up, my maternal grandpa always muttered about how he was "such an asshole of a man", but the one thing I did hear from my paternal grandmother was that he ended up skipping town got some stupid office job and started a new family. it was all some bullshit about needing to start over, without my 'slut of a mother'.

His arm raises, so it's pointing towards Merle. The people of Woodbury immediately quiet down as their leader begins to speak. "I asked where your loyalties lie. You said here." Daryl was finally let out of whatever shackles that were placed around his arms, letting them fall to his sides freely. "Well, prove it. Prove it to us all." My blood runs cold.

"Brother against brother," he says with a dry chuckle. The crowd copies their leader, letting out a small chuckle that's paired with a quiet "yeah."

"Winner goes free" the crowd cheers at that, probably hoping and praying that Merle is able to win. Even though Merle was now deemed possibly 'unloyal' in the governor's eyes, it was still the better option for them. If Daryl died, Merle would have absolutely no reason to want to help us. Merle would go back to being Philip's loyal righthand man, and we, the 'terrorists' would be dead. Glenn had already told them our location and they would be marching up to our door with pitchforks in no time. Philip walks towards Merle shouting "Fight to the death!" as he does so. The crowd cheers once again. This was a scene taken straight out of one of those shitty medieval times shows.

The blonde woman finally turns, revealing her whole face to me. Andrea, the woman I thought I had accidentally left for dead, was here? Of all places, how did she end up here? Well, she had already shown us she didn't care about being led by an asshole, and if she was as close with Philip as she seems, she should already know how much of an asshole he was. "Philip, please. Don't do this," Andrea pleads, as one of Philips's men holds her back. "Don't do this!" He doesn't even glance at her, choosing instead to keep his eye on his prey. He glares at the two men standing in front of him, a smirk on his face that shows he truly enjoys this. The torture. He doesn't even have to do it himself, he just has to sit back and watch.

Merle raises his hand in the air before shouting "Y'all know me!" the crowd cheers, and I can see the absolute look of betrayal on Daryl's face. "I'm gonna do whatever I got to do to prove..." He hesitates for a moment before swinging his arm back and delivering a forceful punch to Daryl's stomach. With a loud grunt, Daryl collapses to the ground, and the crowd erupts in excitement. I stand frozen, unable to believe what I'm witnessing. how could he do that? Do that to his brother? "Holy shit," Jack gasps as Daryl begins to push himself up off of the ground. "That's my loyalty to this town!" just as Daryl has gotten his head off of the ground, Merle kicks him, sending him right back onto the ground.

Daryl lies motionless on his back, his chest heaving up and down with a faint rhythm. My eyes are fixed on him, hesitant to glance away, as if by doing so I might miss the final moments of his life. Merle continues throwing blow after blow as Philip watches on the sidelines with a sick look on his face. The crowd cheers as they lead out a walker. It's practically on a leash as some man, probably another one of Philips's men, leads him toward Daryl and Merle.

Finally, Daryl throws a punch. It's towards Merle's ankles but it gets him somewhere. It gets Daryl back onto his feet. Daryl launches himself toward Merle, tackling him, or at least trying to, but Merle has a leg up in this competition. merle gets Daryl down to the ground first. Both men have their hands around each other's necks as three of Philips's men lead three walkers towards them.

I don't even know what to do to help Daryl out. I could cause some type of distraction. If something more dangerous happens, it could give Daryl the freedom to escape. My eyes fall to my bag. I open it up and grab my gun right as Daryl and Merle get back to their feet. The two are working together to defeat the walkers.

My ammunition is running dangerously low, but my determination to save Daryl is unwavering. I'm willing to take the risk and use my last bullet to help him escape. My breaths come in quick and shallow as I raise my gun, my hands trembling with apprehension. I take aim at a man standing near Philip. I let out one more shaky breath before pressing the trigger and letting the bullet fly out of the gun and toward the man. Luckily for me, my aim was amazing today. The bullet tears right through his skull. Everyone around him screams as he falls to the ground with a thud.

Suddenly, someone behind Jack and I start shooting rounds into the arena, which makes even more of a ruckus. As I turned around to glance behind me, my eyes fell on Maggie, who was casually leaning against the top of the cold metal dumpster that was situated behind us. She shoots round after round into the arena. I let out a sigh of relief and began running back towards her. rick throws one of his smoke bombs, and Maggie continues to shoot. All I can hear is the sound of the automatic rifle and screams. Everyone's scattering like flies. Rick looks up at me, his mouth is open as if he's about to ask me something before his eyes flick to Jack who's stood behind me. "Who's that?"

"Old friend... he helped me," I reply. Rick continues to stare at Jack, scrutinizing him from head to toe as if he's trying to find a reason not to like him. I already know what he's going to ask. "Is he one of the governor's men?" I quickly respond, "He was just a resident and didn't know anything about what was going on, right Jack?" Jack nods, muttering a quiet "mhm."

Daryl and Merle sprint towards us while Rick urges, "Daryl, let's go!" Without wasting any time, we all take off at full speed, our hearts pounding with fear of being spotted by Philip or his men. The only sound that can be heard is our pounding footsteps on the ground as we race towards safety.

-

We manage to escape the arena and run back into the main town area. We were cautious as we walked around, hoping everyone was in the arena, but there was no actual way to know, so we were as careful as we could.

"they're all at the arena, this way!!" Merle instructs, attempting to lead us toward an exit. Rick was quick to shoot down the idea of Merle going with us. "you're not going anywhere with us!" he growls. "You really want to do this now?!" Merle asks as he runs towards the fence, attempting to pry apart the metal, as Rick and Daryl stand guard. I pray to God Rick won't say anything about Jack going with us. I don't want him to stay here, knowing the possible doomed future of Woodbury.

Finally, Merle manages to pull apart the metal, leaving a nicely sized hole in its wake. We all slipped through without a problem, but we're only met with walkers on the opposite side. "A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE NICE!" Merle shouts as he beats a walker to death with his prosthetic arm. Daryl was quick to pitch in, shooting a walker with his bow. I pull my gun out, shooting off my last bullet into a walker's head, "We ain't got time for this!" before beginning to sprint off.

I stand motionless next to Jack, anticipation building as we await instructions from Rick. "let's go!" Daryl shouts once it's been more than a few seconds, Rick, Maggie, and I not moving. I'm glad Daryl hasn't asked about Jack yet. Maybe it's just because he's too busy to realize. But I hope he never mentions it. I'm scared he'll get mad, or jealous. He's just a friend now, hell we were tiptoeing around a breakup when the outbreak started. But I don't know how Daryl is with exes. I know he can get jealous; he has many times before. Normally, I can predict what he'll do in certain situations, but with Jack, I just don't know how Daryl will react. rick folds, deciding to follow after Merle rather than die.

-

The walk back to the car is long. My hands are in my pockets as I trail behind a bit, with everyone else at least a few feet ahead of me. I don't mean to eavesdrop, but I can't help but overhear Merle and Daryl's conversation. "sooo, wha's up with you'n tha' bitch?" Merle asks, his head tilting back, so it points towards me. My heart stops, wondering what Daryl would say. Would he refer to me as his girlfriend? Even though we already had discussed what our relationship was, and I was confident in my role as Daryl's girlfriend, I was scared that he'd be embarrassed to admit that we were in a relationship with his older brother.

Daryl's quiet for a few seconds, giving his brother enough time to throw in another comment. "You to fuckin' around or something?" Daryl chuckles left hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um...I guess me'n her are together," he says with a shrug. Merle almost immediately bursts out in a booming fit of laughter, which makes Rick turn around and glare. I don't understand what's so funny. Was it so farfetched that Daryl and I were dating? I can see the back of Daryl's ears turn a bright red as his hands nervously play with the hem of his shirt. "yer datin' her! ain't she fuckin' that Chinese boy?" I almost scoff at Merle's assumption. I can almost hear Daryl's eyes roll as he says, "Nah... they're just friends."

"ya sure? I remem-" Daryl's quick to shut Merle down once again "I'm sure"

-

It's about 20 minutes later when we end up back at the other side of the large acre of woods where we parked the car. As we approach the car, Rick whisper yells out Glenn's name, which makes both Glenn and Michonne get up and run to us. "Oh, thank god," Glenn sighs out as he approaches us. Rick was quick to squash the inkling of relief that Glenn had by revealing our newfound problems. "Now we got a problem here. I need you to back up." the moment Merle's face comes into Glenn's sigh, his face instantly contorted into anger "What the hell is he doing here!" Michonne pulls out her Katana in an effort to protect herself, and Daryl, he's quick to begin yelling in an effort to protect his older brother. There is a gun pointed at almost everyone in the group. "are you guys always like this?" Jack mutters quietly, "Always," I reply with an eye roll.

Everyone is yelling over each other; I can barely understand one word that's coming out of anyone's mouth. "Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you," Rick scoffs, while I cross my arms over my chest, feeling absolute annoyance simmering inside me. "Hey, we both took our licks, man," Merle chuckles as his back presses against the tree behind him. "Jackass" Daryl scoffs with an eye roll. merle pushes himself off the tree. "Hey shut up!" Merle shouts back at his brother, his voice filled with pure annoyance. The brotherly squabble is quickly shut down by Rick with a loud "Enough!" but that just turns into another fight. "Hey! hey! Relax! Put that down!" Rick shouts at Michonne, who's got her Katana pointed at him. "Get that thing out of my face!" Daryl shouts, swatting at Glenn's gun.

Merle laughs. "Man, look like you've gone native, brother." Daryl turns around, his anger now fully directed at his brother. "NO more than you hangin' out with that psycho back there." Merle just has a smirk on his face, mainly just to piss Daryl off even more. "oh, yeah, man. He is a charmer, I got to tell you that. been puttin' the wood to your girlfriend Andrea big time, baby." Merle said eye's making direct contact with Michonne. my eyebrows furrow with confusion, not because of Andrea fucking my father, that was predictable, Andrea liked a man with power, but I'm confused because Andrea and Michonne had known each other. Glenn's just as confused brows furrowed as he asks "What? Andreas in Woodbury?"

"Right next to the governor," Daryl replies. Michonne takes a few steps forward, pointing her Katana in front of her once again, with the intention of hurting someone. "I told you to drop that!" Rick shouts, lunging forward, making Michonne lower it once again. Michonne has a blank expression on her face as Rick asks, "You know Andrea?" her eyes don't make contact with Rick, instead settling for somewhere right behind him.

Rick doesn't take her silence for an answer, so he gets closer, and his voice drops to a low, sinister whisper, "Hey, do you know Andrea?" he asks once again. She doesn't answer, letting Merle answer for her. "Yep, she does," he says, a smirk displayed on his lips. "Her and blondie spent all winter cuddlin' up in the forest. Mm-mmm-mmm." Rick has a look of betrayal on his face as Merle continues to reveal more and more of Michonne's secrets. "Yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains."

What. The. fuck? two pet walkers! "kinda ironic now that I think about it." Daryl is done with Merle's mouth. Daryl quickly spins around shouting "Shut up, bro!" Merle laughs, obviously finding Daryl's anger hilarious "Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dyin'."

"Is that why she's with him?"

Merle nods. "Yeah. Snug as two little bugs. So, what ya gonna do now, sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs, and cowards." Merle says, just poking and prodding at Rick, trying to get a reaction out of him. And a reaction is what he got; Rick turns his head, commanding Merle to "shut up!" Merle, being Merle, doesn't comply and continues his antics. Merle chuckles. "Oh, man, look at this. Pathetic!" he shakes his head in faux shame. "All these guns and no bullets in them."

Merles once again got on his brother's last nerve. "Merle! shut up!" Daryl growls, leaning forward a bit, trying to intimidate his older brother. Merle doesn't take that and begins to shout, "Shut up yourself! Bunch of pussies you roll-" Merle isn't even able to finish his last sentence before Rick quickly strikes him in the back of the head with his gun, causing him to fall to the ground unconscious with a thud. "Asshole."

-

We're all gathered around in the middle of the road, leaving Jack sat on the side of the road, feeling he had no place in the conversation, and Merle still in the woods. Daryl's trying to propose that Merle comes with us, but Rick's not so sure, feeling it will just cause trouble. "It won't work," Rick sighs. Daryl still tries his best to convince Rick, though "it's gotta" I'm not on either side. I know Merle is nothing but trouble. I've known that since the moment I met him. But I also know that Daryl has beaten himself up over losing his brother for the past year. I know having his brother with our group again would make him happy. I want Daryl to be happy, I really do, but Merle has already caused so much trouble for our group. Hell, he kidnapped and almost killed Glenn and Maggie.

"it'll stir things up," Rick argues. I know he's right. Having Glenn and Merle under the same roof probably won't end up well. Glenn was already so pissed off; it wouldn't be right to make Glenn and Maggie feel more unsafe than they already did. "Look, the governor is probably on the way to the prison right now. merle knows how he thinks, and we could use the muscle," Merle did already know a bunch about Phillip, but who says he's even gonna help up, all he did back at the quarry was fuck around and start unnecessary fights with Shane.

"I'm not havin' him at the prison,"

"Do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol, Beth, or hell, Casey?" Glenn asks. thinking about it, I don't want Merle Dixon anywhere near Casey. I know Merle is Daryl's brother and all, but he should really think about this. I was barely comfortable being within 5 feet of Merle myself let alone my 5-year-old. he has to start thinking about the bigger picture, he has to start thinking about how this could affect Casey, Carl, and the baby. Daryl grunts before muttering, "he ain't a rapist." He wasn't a rapist, but he sure did make me more than uncomfortable on multiple occasions. Look at him, the way he talked, the men he hung out with; would he really want that kind of person around the children?

"Well, his buddy is." Daryl was still trying to plead Merle's case. "They ain't buddies no more. Not after last night," I sigh, arms crossing over my chest "C'mon D you know how Merle is, do you really want that around case?" he huffs, trying not to make eye contact as a look of betrayal spreads across his face.

"There's no way Merles gonna live there without putting everyone at each other's throats," Rick says. I know Rick doesn't want to piss Daryl off, but he also wants everyone in our group to feel safe. "So, yer gonna cut Merle loose and bring the last samurai home with us?" Rick shakes his head, saying "She's not coming back. " 

"she's not in a state to be on her own" Maggie argues. Maggie and Glenn continue to try and plead Michonne's case. "She did bring you guys to us" Glenn whispers, in a way he's right. Michonne had helped us, but she's already practically gone rogue pointing that damn katana at people. we just don't know what she's capable of yet. "And then ditched us" rick argues, head turning towards Glenn. "at least let my dad stitch her up" Maggie begs, we can't just leave her out for dead, we should at least let Hershel check her out, so she's has the best chance of survival out there, it just the right thing to do. "She's too unpredictable." She's a loose cannon, that's for sure. On one hand, she has proven herself to be beneficial to our group, but on the other hand, she has also shown us that she could be harmful to our group. She's helping us, but also going missing for a long period of time and pointing her damn Katana at us like we're the bad guys.

We're staring at Michonne. She is leaning against the side-view mirror, staring back at us, almost as if she knows we're talking about her. Scratch that, she probably does know because Rick is not trying to whisper at all. He wants her to know she's unwanted, hoping she'll take a hint and scurry off before Rick can boot her out. Daryl nods agreeing with Rick, "That's right, we don't know who she is" he mutters, but he's only agreeing with Rick right now to try to slip in a word about Merle staying with us.

"But merle, merles blood." Daryl says almost acting like we're all some big family. Deep down, I have a feeling he'd run if Merle asked him. We're not blood, I'm not his wife, Casey's not his daughter. I'm his girlfriend, barely even that sometimes, and Casey, she's a little girl who has accidentally grown too attached. The 'D' around my neck means nothing if Merle is asking for something, and I know that. I wouldn't expect him to choose me over his brother, and I know he wouldn't expect me to pick him over mine, even if it would be a difficult decision for me.

Glenn shakes his head in disgust. "No, merles your blood, my blood, my family is standing right here, and waiting for us back at the prison." We had no ties to Merle, no need to keep him. The only one who did was Daryl. we all know the line we're tittering on, we all know the thoughts and decisions racing through his mind. We all know he's thinking about leaving and going with Merle. that's why my eyes are burning into his with a stare begging him not to. Begging him not to make me go back without him, begging him not to make me explain why he didn't come back. "And you're part of that family, but he's not. He's not"

I can see the anger boiling in his chest, the words he's trying to fight back. "Man, ya'll don't know" We all stare at him waiting for him to say it because we know he is "Fine. we'll fend for ourselves." he finally says it, which almost sends me over the edge. I just want to scream at him. How could he just leave, leave after promising he'd come back? "that's not what I was saying," Glenn says, trying to make Daryl think about his decision. "no, him, no me." It's as simple as that. He didn't think about Casey, Carol, Beth, or hell fucking me. "Daryl, you don't have to do that"

"It was always merle an' I before this" Then he makes eye contact with me, and he sees it, the tears pooling in my eyes that I desperately try to blink back, the begging the pleading, but he doesn't care. "So, you're just gonna leave?" I ask finally breaking my silence. His eyes meet mine. "you'd do the same thing," he mutters. My brother, he wasn't like Merle. He wouldn't be booted out of the group because my brother was a good man. "What do you want me to tell Casey? you promised her you'd come back." he shrugs, almost like he doesn't care. "y/n ya gotta understand this is my brother, my blood. You'd do the same if you found yer's. I know ya would"

"My brother's dead," I say, my voice comes out bitter and harsh. Because how could he bring up my brother, who's dead? Who died trying to help me? How could he compare his racist, misogynistic, absolute scumbag brother to mine? "Then ya should understand. "my arms cross over my chest, and my face twists into a disgusted expression. I can't believe he'd just leave us like that. After everything we've been through. He said he loved me. I thought he thought more of me. I thought this was it. I thought he was going to be my husband.

Daryl starts walking, pushing past Maggie and me, muttering, "Say goodbye to yer pops for me." I spin around on my heels, facing him now rather than Glenn and Rick. I'm practically chasing after him shouting "You're seriously leaving?! After everything we've been through?!" he ignores me and just continues to walk until he gets to the trunk of the car. He opens it and begins to gather his items.

"So, this is it?" I whisper, my hands shoved in my pockets, "guess so" he mutters, my heart drops and tears begin to pool in my eyes once again. "Seriously? What about Casey?" he shrugs, not answering because he knows whatever he's going to say is just going to piss me off. "What about me D? What about us?" a tear falls down my cheek, and my hand reaches up to wipe it away. "you'll get over it," he mutters, slinging his bag over his shoulder. That hurt me. It felt like a stab to the gut. Did he really think I just get over him like that? He shakes his head, almost as if he was trying to ignore the tears that lined my waterline. he's trying not to care.

I've watched Daryl grow so much as a person in the last year. The man I knew yesterday was a scrap of the man I had met at that quarry. But somehow, with Merle's reappearance, he went back to the Douch bag he was. He no longer cared for Casey, Beth, or Carol. He no longer cared for me. He no longer cared about us. All the late-night conversation meant nothing, the necklace meant nothing, Casey meant nothing. "I-I love you," I whisper, hoping it would change his decision. Hoping the quiet admission of love would snap him back into reality.

"Then stop..." he mutters. His words are so bitter, so calloused they slice right through my heart, breaking it into a million pieces. "ya got whoever that guy is over there, ya got Glenn. know you'll be fuckin' one of them by the end of the week," he mutters. Hot, angry tears begin to fall down my cheeks. How could he say that? Was that really all he thought of me? A slut? Did he think I was only with him for the sex? The sex that was so far in between that I can't recall the last time we had it. Did he not notice how in love I was?

I rip the necklace from my neck and throw it at him. It hits his torso before falling to the ground with a soft thud. The silver metal glimmers in the sun staring up a simple reminder of what we were, and what we could have been. "Fuck you" is the last thing I mutter before wiping my tears and turning to walk back towards the group.

-

The ride back to the prison is a blur. I sit in the back, middle seat, with a shell-shocked look on my face. I don't want to cry, but my body wants me to cry. There's a lump in my throat and I'm desperately trying to hold back tears. The whole ride Glenn muttering quietly to me, "I'm so sorry" "I didn't think he was really going to leave" I don't pay attention to him. I can't listen, I can't pay attention. I just want to be in my head right now. I feel the car stop and feel people leave, but I don't pay it any mind. I don't even pay any mind when I hear the shouting outside. I just want this all to be over.

I'm zoned out until I feel the car park, and everyone gets out. I get out, hands shoved in my pockets. The only thing that knocks me out of my head is the feeling of two little arms wrapping around my leg. "you're back," Casey squeaks as I bend down and pick her up. Her arms wrap around my neck and her head buries itself into my shoulder. I know the inevitable question awaits us, and I still don't know what I'm going to say. When I feel her head leave my shoulder and begin looking around, my heart begins to slam against my chest. "where's Daryl?" she asks eyes still searching, "he...Daryl left"

"Did he die?" she asks, brows furrowing up as I shake my head. I'd rather he had died. It's easier to explain to her that he died rather than he decided to leave us. "No, baby. He found his brother and decided he needed to be with his family." Her brows furrow up even farther, if that's even possible. "I thought we were his family?"

-

When I get back inside, I tell Casey to stay with Carl and go up and find an empty cell. This is when I finally let myself break down. Sitting on the bed with my head in my hand, I just let go. I'm full-on ugly crying, with tears streaming down my face, and snot bubbling out of my nose. I just hate him so much for leaving. Broken sobs escape my lips as I try to keep myself as quiet as possible. I don't want anyone else to know how badly this hurt me.

My chest rises and falls fast with each gasp I take. The only thought that is racing through my mind is why would he do this? How could he do this? Did he really think that I was a slut all this time, or was it Merle's comments about Glenn, and I that suddenly had changed his opinion of Glenn and I's relationship? Did he seriously think I didn't love him?

"You, okay?" a knock on the wall pulls me from my thoughts. I look up to see Carol. My bottom lip wobbles as I shake my head 'no'. she lets out a sigh as she nods and slowly walks towards me. She takes a seat next to me on the bottom bunk. "You want to talk?" she asks, her arm coming to wrap around my body and pull mine close to hers. I shake my head 'no' once again. I could barely think about him without a blubbering mess, let alone talk about him to someone else.

My head buries into her chest as her left hand rubs small circles into my back. "I know, I know," she mutters as broken sobs erupt from my throat. I just hate him so much for leaving with Merle, but at the same time I want him here, and I want him to hold me. I want to hear him tell me he loves me.

-

I sat in that cell for the rest of the night, not bothering about dinner because I had already felt sick to my stomach. The only human interaction I have is with Casey at bedtime when she cuddles up next to me in the bottom bunk. I can't bring myself to touch the stuff Daryl had left behind, because I know I'll either break it or throw it at a wall.

Casey's eyes were heavy with sleep, and yawns erupted from her every few seconds. She didn't want to sleep on the top bunk. For the past few months, she only knew what it felt like to sleep between Daryl and me. There was always a warm body next to her, no matter what. I can't bring myself to think how last night was for her. Through a yawn, she whispers, "I miss Daryl" I let out a heavy sigh. In a way I miss him, I wish he hadn't made the choice he had made, I wish he would have considered how'd those decisioned would affect us. I wish I didn't have the burden of living the rest of my life wondering if he's alright, so I guess in a way I miss him.

Casey eventually drifted off to sleep, and I quietly slipped out of bed, hoping that everyone else had retired for the night. As I tiptoed down the stairs and into the dimly lit rec room, I noticed Glenn sitting at a table in the far-left corner. He was shrouded in almost complete darkness, with only his hoodie standing out in the dim light. His head faced down; one elbow propped up on the table to hold it up. "How you holdin' up?" I ask, breaking him from his thoughts. I can see him just and let out a tiny gasp. "shit" he mutters under his breath as his head snaps up to see me.

I laugh, a small smile breaking across my face. "sorry" I whisper, walking across the room to meet him at his table. "watcha doin' up so late?" I ask, sliding into the seat beside him. "can't sleep you?" he asks. I shrug, not knowing why I was still up. I felt like I could sleep for a good week if I really tried. "So...did Jack get booted out with the rest...or..." I ask referring to the commotion I had heard earlier that day involving rick. Glenn shakes his head "Nah, didn't wanna upset you anymore than you already were," he says, tiptoeing around the subject of Daryl.

I can't help but feel bad about Glenn and Maggie. Every time I see the black and blue bruises that decorated his face, I can't help but be reminded of who caused it. I hadn't thought about him in years. The only times I was reminded of the faded remembrance of his face were in old family portraits that were in boxes up in my mom's attic.

1992 or 3 maybe, I was three years old in the picture, mom was heavily pregnant, and dad looked so young. I never realized how young both my parents were when they had me until I looked at those photos. Mom looks maybe 19, dad had to be at least 21. He's got me on his hip, we're all pushed in close, one arm around a waist, Dad's face and I's squished together. We looked so happy.

When I saw his face out in the crowd, I was 12 years old again up in the attic, sorting through boxes, finding the dusty portraits. Wondering how he could leave us. I wasn't stupid. I remembered those last few months, the last year. I remembered the drinking, the fighting, the bruises. I remembered the broken potted plants I remembered my brother's broken arm. I just couldn't believe the man who wore such a bright smile could be so evil.

How could he hurt me, hurt my brother, hurt my mom? I feel like I'm sitting in my paternal grandmother's kitchen this time, maybe 15, listening to her blab on and on about his family. His wife, his daughter. His daughter he loved so dearly, the daughter who had replaced me. 'He just loves her so much,' she said 'No one can take away a father's love for their daughter'. I hadn't thought of him since that moment. After that, I gave up on having a dad. I gave up on waiting. I finally realized he just didn't love me, and I couldn't change that.

But yesterday, seeing him again was like a punch to the gut, and finding out that he was the one who hurt my friends that made me furious. I wanted to be the one to hunt him down. I wanted to be the one to kill him. I couldn't wait to see his face when he realized who I was and what I was going to do.

"Glenn, can I tell you something? But you can't get mad" his brows furrow, a sliver of a smile displaying on his lips as his mouth opens to say something. I'm quick to cut him off, finally revealing the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. "the governor is my dad" his eyes widen, and fear sets in quickly, terrified he'll hate me. "What?" he asks, it coming out as a half laugh as he stares at me. His eyes fall up and down my body, examining every single one of my facial features, finding everyone that even slightly resembled Philips. "Are you joking?" he asks, head cocking to the side in disbelief. I shake my head slowly, and he lets out a quiet "oh my god."

"I didn't even know this governor guy was him until I saw him. You're not mad, are you?" he shakes his head, letting my anxieties settle. "No..not mad, just...shocked, yo-you...wow."

Taglist

@rivversin @soul4death @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @jai-lovely @maziejay08 @oi-itse @rhaenryawhore @kimbunnysstuff @blipblopper @ramielll @ilyhannah @daryldixonnn @delicatebearpandaopera @daryldixmedown @duckybird101 @0-imjusthere-0 @tanuki-tsuki

[new-revenant]

A so Called Tamaranean | Part Two

So, people seem to really like this little story I made, so I guess I’ll continue it! Part 1 if you haven’t read it yet or forgot something from it :) Also I am going to put both parts onto Ao3 in like, a day or two.

Edit : Ao3 Link! Also unsure if I’ll continue this because I don’t want to stress out over it. This was partly inspired by the “Grudge Match” ep from the JLU cartoon(go watch it it’s so good). Don’t ask what continuity this whole fic is set in, because I am making it up as I go. Warning for mentions of blood, I think there’s slight dehumanization, and mild elements of horror. There’s a fight scene. You know, regular superhero stuff.

Tag list since people wanted to be tagged(there are many of you ๑╹ω╹๑):

@spectralstardustandphantomnights - @skulld3mort-1fan - @ballzfrog - @toomanyfandoms11 - @blueflipflops - @everest-nightshade - @terzatheunderscorerima - @thegatorsgoose - @mnemovoid - @ace-aro-as-shit - @pikakaistudios - @phoenixcatch7 - @alice-hazelwood - @idfk-man20 (I can’t tag this person for some reason???) - @keimiwolf - @cankoking - @dxrksong - @learning-to-fly-on-my-own - @chaoticmistake - @ectoplasm024 - @akikkobara - @nerdypaintbrush - @worthlesswall - @stargirl1331 - @treepainting - @that-awkward-fae-nerd - @kawaiikenna - @raspberry-muffin

♥︎♡♥︎

“Alright kid, this is one of my safe houses,” Nightwing said, “We’re going to stay here for a while until I figure out what to do,” they muttered the last part. They both were in a small apartment in an abandoned building. It was stocked with some med kits and rations, with a mattress tucked into a corner. There was a single window that they used to get inside, facing another building.

“Small house,” Danny commented, trying to hide his smirk.

“Yeah it’s supposed to be small-now I need to call Starfire for the first time in a few months,” Nightwing groaned, “Man I’ve been busy.”

Danny sat on the mattress while Nightwing out a phone to call this “Starfire” person. Danny was sweating bullets, because surely she would notice that Danny is definitely not a Tamaranean. Maybe he should just come out and say what he really is…Nah.

He hasn’t even told his own parents that he’s actually…whatever he is, so he certainly isn’t going to be telling this stranger who he is. Maybe once he can find out how to get back home he’ll tell them. He’ll just have to keep his secret to himself, which shouldn’t be toohard. And Danny’s stuck in his ghost form now, for some reason. But that means that it’ll be easier to pretend to a Tamaranean! And he could just say he wasn’t raised wherever Tamaraneans were from, and was experimented on by the people who raised him. Not too bad of an idea from a C-student.

Danny was humming happily as he came up with his plan. He had to ignore what Nightwing was saying because he was pretty sure Tamaraneans weren’t supposed to know English. Honestly he was sure of nothing and probably should’ve eavesdropped on Nightwing. But once he thought of that idea, Nightwing finished their phone call.

“Okay Nightgale, Starfire’s going to be here soon, and you need to eat don’t you-of course you need to eat, what am I talking about?” Nightwing sighed, “Do you have any preferences? Like, sweet or sour foods since you probably don’t know any Earth foods.”

“I will eat anything and everything you give me,” Danny responded, “I have no preferences other than survival.”

“That’s…so sad oh my god. I wish I could give you like, a honey crisp apple or something other than granola bars and military rations.”

“Food is food I guess. Oh, do you have any water my throat’s kind of sore.”

“On it,” Nightwing went and grabbed a couple of granola bars and a bottle of water and nearly tossed it over to Danny before stopping and just handed it to him.

“Thank you,” Danny said as he smiled innocently, before wolfing down the granola bars and chugging down all of the water in less than a minute. Nightwing could only watch in horror as when they tried to make Danny slow down, he tried to bite them.

“So,” Danny made direct eye contact with Nightwing after he finished eating “What’s Starfire like?” He was oddly proud of himself for this rather simple question.

“Oh! Well, she’s the Princess of Tamaran and-“ Nightwing was stopped by a sudden knock at the door. They froze and swiftly went over to the door.

“It’s me! Starfire!” a muffled voice said from behind the door. Nightwing let out a visible but silent sigh of relief before they opened the door.

“Starfire, you got here quickly,” Nightwing commented.

“Of course! There’s a baby Tamaranean here who needs help! Plus, I was nearby already,” Starfire floated a few inches off the ground as she went inside the tiny apartment.  Nightwing pointed her over to where Danny was, and she gasped happily with a gleeful shine in her eyes. Danny tried his best to hide his grimace and prepare for whatever was going to happen.

“Hello! Hi there!” Starfire shot over to Danny-which he thankfully expected to happen this time-speaking Tamaranean. Starfire had long, red, fire-like hair, flickering at the ends like a flame. Her skin was an unnatural shade of a bronze-like orange-but it was probably very natural for Tamaraneans. She was also wearing this odd, purple jumpsuit-looking outfit. Not only were her irises were green, but her sclera had a green tint to it. Danny could swear that she was glowing slightly.

“Can you not do any sudden movements Princess?” Danny said, fully grimacing, “Or get too close.”

“Oh! Sorry young one,” Starfire backed a few away from Danny a smile plastered on her face, “What’s your name?”

“I assume that Nightwing already told you but I’m uh, Nightgale. It’s…nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too Nightgale! I’m Princess Starfire of Tameran, but you may just call me Star or Starfire.”

Starfire went over to Nightwing and spoke to them in English. Danny thought this would finally be a good time to eavesdrop.

“He doesn’t know any Earth languages right?” Starfire asked.

“Nope and he seems far too touch-adverse to do…that language acquisition thing,” Nightwing answered, sighing and rubbing their temples, “He’ll shoot anyone who so much as attempts to even reach out a hand to him-I should know, because that’s what happened to me.”

“Oh no! Are you okay?”

 “Yeah I just got shot in the face but it only hurt for a moment-actually, it hurt Nightgalemore, his powers seem…unstable.”

“Unstable?”

“His arm was in a lot of pain both times he shot a starbolt at me, so I’m pretty sure his powers are at least somewhat unstable. God how-what are we going to do-WHERE did he even come from?”

“He could’ve come from anywhere I think-but! I think we might need to get him some sort therapy for the touch-adversity. So it’s a good thing that it is just physical touch in general that makes it so we can learn other’s languages, so he could just poke someone and boom! He learns English!” -Starfire spun around a little bit- “I…also think we might need to get the Justice League involved.”

“Yeah, we probably do,” Nightwing leaned up against a wall, probably pondering about what to do next. Danny was also wondering about what to do next. He could probably just punch someone in the face and pass that off as a language-acquisition thing. He looked out the window and right at that moment, a green bird landed on the windowsill.

Danny made direct eye contact with the bird. Its eyes were the normal black void of sparrow’s eyes, but the entire bird was green. It wasn’t glowing so it probably wasn’t a ghost.

“Oh hey! So you’re that Tamaranean-“ the bird said, it spoke, and Danny blasted it on pure instinct, obviously. He screamed, it screamed, but it swiftly dodged and flew inside. Its body shifted and grew, turning into a human-a green skinned human with dark green hair, but human nonetheless.

“WOAH! Never seen a talking bird before?” The green person chuckled.

“Beast Boy, are you okay?” Starfire asked.

“Yeah, but that kid seems jumpy.”

“Of course he’s jumpy, he just fell from the sky not even an hour ago,” Nightwing sighed, “Also why are you here Garfield?”

“Oh, she texted the whole group chat about the little Tamaranean here, didn’t you see it?” Beast Boy-Garfield was probably their real name but Danny could only think about a certain orange cat-pointed over to Starfire.

“Kori why?” Nightwing groaned, “So do just the rest of the Titans know?”

“Yes it’s just the rest of Titans, I’m sorry I was just so excited!” Starfire apologized, “He’s a fellow Tamaranean with powers nonetheless!”

They continued to argue and Danny knew that this was his chance. He had to get out of here. He’ll come back obviously, but he really didn’t want to keep looking at people’s mouth to figure out if they were speaking English or not.

He stood up and placed his hand on the windowsill, looking back for a moment before jumping up and bolting out of of there.

He turned quickly, just barely scraping his arm against the other building. He focused on just going faster and faster, constantly taking wild turns and changing his altitude.

He kept going and going, ignoring everything else, and he felt like he was reaching his limit in no time at all. He shoot high into the sky, spotting docks nearby. Shooting back back down like a lightning bolt, he almost slammed into the ground nearby. He didn’t make a noise or dented the concrete, so it was a win in Danny’s book.

The docks seem unused and abandoned, but oddly enough the warehouses didn’t. There was one warehouse that was bigger than the others, and it had a clearly visible side door on it. Danny looked around both at the sky and the docks. The skies were clear, but he could definitely hear something coming from that big warehouse.

Danny looked at his hands. Yeah, there might be some criminals in here. If not? Well then he’ll just give some poor folks a handshake or something. Taking his gloves off and tying them onto his belt, he noticed his veins were glowing a bright green. Danny did not know if they always were like that, but it was probably for the best to not use his powers, which was completely fine as he could still throw a mean punch.

Walking up towards the door, he had to take a deep, deep breath. What was he doing? Why was he pretending? Why does he always have to be constantly lying? He could go back now, tell them all the truth before things get more and more out of hand.

‘But it’s too late,’ he kept repeating to himself. The same thing he had always repeated to himself whenever he thought about telling his own parents who-what he was.

He gripped the handle of the door, already able to hear fighting coming from the inside. It didn’t fully sound like normal humans fighting, but a bit like ghost fighting. Shooting, burning, the ground being ripped apart and crushed. People with superpowers exist in this world, Danny could see that much from what he’s noticed so far. He felt like he was definitely not ready to fight anyone who can punch as hard as Shulker per say, but he was already here. He had to do something.

Danny looked around for those heroes who helped him out. Seeing no one around, he took in another a deep breath, and opened that side door.

♦︎

Nightwing really did expect the kid to run off at some point. He just did not expect the kid to just be gone after he looked away for a single second. Just one second, he just wanted to talk with Kori and Garfield, but no, now he has to search for a glowing, physically andprobably mentally unstable Tamaranean child. If it was only as easy as it sounded because Nightgale was gone gone. Which meant that everyone was freaking out, obviously.

“Starfire! Do you see anything?” Nightwing called out from a rooftop nearby the safe house. Starfire was high in the sky so she could probably see a glowing person much more easily, and she shouted out ‘NO!’ which did wonders to Nightwing’s sprit.

“Beast Boy, how about you?” Beast Boy swooped down as an eagle and shook his head no. Nightwing sighed, “Well, we’ll need to split up then. Beast Boy you go west, I’ll go north, Starfire will go-“

“Nightwing,” Oracle’s voice had suddenly spoken from Nightwing’s earpiece, interrupting him. He put his hand on his earpiece to answer.

“What’s going on Oracle?” Nightwing responded instantly.

“An illegal meta fighting ring has been reported coming from the abandoned commercial docks in Blüdhaven. Do you think you can check up on it?”

“If I had a nickel for every time a meta fighting ring has happened here-yeah I’ll deal with it quickly.”

“Even with the Tamaranean child?” Batman’s voice interjected.

Nightwing’s face dropped. Of course Batman knows about Nightgale, he’s Batman. God damn it.

“Yep, even with them.”

“Their name?”

“They said their name was Nightgale. Now, I’ll get back to you later goodbye!” Nightwing took his hand away from the eyepiece and groaned.

“So we have to deal with a meta fighting ring as well?” Beast Boy asked, “Oh wait! What if the kid got caught up in the fighting ring?”

“Nightgale got caught up in a fighting ring?!” Starfire had come down and was very concerned.

“No-well,” Nightwing thought of how likely it was that Nightgale could actually get caught up in a fighting ring, “There could be a chance-“

“We have to go! Where is the fighting ring?” Starfire eyes were filled with determination.

“Yeah! Let’s save those metas AND that Tamaranean kid who’s name I can’t remember. Sorry,” Beast Boy nervously chuckled a bit during that last part.

“It’s Nightgale,” Nightwing repeated. Actually, the more he thought about it, the more strange it was that the kid’s name was Nightgale. It was pretty close to Nightwing, and there was also the problem of accidentally mixing the two names up. Maybe he should call them Gale, or Night Jr. Damnit, he was turning into Bruce wasn’t he?

Nightwing shook off that thought process, focusing on the matter at hand, “Now, let’s go to the docks!”

“Yeah!” The other two exclaimed. They all bolted towards the docks, towards Nightgale.

It didn’t take too long to get over to the docks, especially since Nightwing knew the way there by heart and the other two could fly. The trio still looked around for Nightgale on the way there, but had no luck with that. Nightwing really hoped that Nightgale wouldn’t be at the docks. He felt like there was a good chance that they would’ve gotten hurt, or worse.

Once the trio did get to docks, they saw the biggest warehouse had a giant hole in its side. People were running away from it, screaming and tripping over themselves.

As the heroes got over to them, they noticed just how scared the people acted. “P-please take us in, we’ll go to jail, just get us away from here!” One of them shouted. All of them were heavily bruised and bleeding lightly, large, but very shallow claw marks across either their chests. 

“So this the illegal meta fighting ring I’ve been hearing about,” Nightwing muttered, “Alright, I’ll cuff these guys real quick, get them to the hospital, and then we’ll-“

“Please get us away from here first! That-that monster in there will-“

“Oh! That might be Nightgale right?” Starfire asked.

“Yeah! They seem strong enough,” Beast Boy added.

“Let’s check it out. You criminals stay here or I’ll get that ‘monster’ to hunt you down.” The threat seemed to be very effective against them, which was very worrying, but right now Nightwing needed to focus at the situation at hand-someone dangerous was inside that warehouse with the metas, and that someone could very well be Nightgale.

As they rushed towards the hole, Starfire caught a criminal being thrown out of it. The criminal also had a large, shallow claw mark across their chest. She placed them down and told them to stay with the other criminals, and they ecstatically did as told. The trio were finally at the hole.

Nightwing now believed the criminals when they said there was a monster here.

He couldn’t focus on anything other than-that thing standing in the center of the warehouse. It was a shadow, fickle and dark, glowing green-bleeding green out of its hands and eyes. Eyes that stared right at him, right into his very soul.

It was pulsating with light, unsteady and bright, drawing Nightwing’s mind to nuclear waste. It’s body seemed to flicker in and out of existence as fast as a blink of an eye, small, almost invisible sparks of electricity jetting out of it.

Its hands looked sharp, fingernails indistinguishable from flesh. They were stained red, blood dripping towards the ground. Blood was splattered at its feet and the ground around it. But he couldn’t see any blood on the rest of it’s shadowy body.

This was it, this was how Nightwing was going to die. He couldn’t move couldn’t think about anything else other than the horrors that awaited him. It was all going to be over and he couldn’t even help that one kid-

“Nightgale!” Starfire exclaimed and flew inside. Suddenly, Nightwing was snapped out of his trance, and the monster disappeared, leaving a tired and trembling Nightgale behind.

Nightwing looked over at Beast Boy, and it was clear that he saw the same thing as Nightwing. Beast Boy looked at him for an answer, but all he could do was shrug slightly. Whatever affected him and Beast Boy didn’t affect Starfire, so he could easily pass this off as some Tamaranean thing, but something in the back of his mind said that he shouldn’t.

Something wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right about Nightgale.

But he’ll think about that more later. Right now, Nightgale and the metas needed help.

“Beast Boy, you look after the metas, I’ll deal with the rest of the criminals,” Nightwing said and then immediately sprang into action.

“R-right!” Beast Boy responded and followed suit.

Nightgale had taken care of most of the criminals involved, but the ringmaster, Roulette, had nearly escaped. 

“Roulette! I see that you haven’t changed at all,” Nightwing commented when he caught up to her. He could see that her left arm was bleeding, baring the same shallow claw marks as the other criminals had. “This is what, the second time you’ve set up a meta fighting ring in Blüdhaven? Why’s that?”

“I didn’t expect to get caught so quickly I’ll tell you that much,” she replied, “Much less did I expect to get caught by your son.”

“Okay, Nightgale isn’t my-“ Roulette took this opportunity to kick Nightwing square in the face. In retaliation, Nightwing grabbed her foot and flipped her over, and the fight commenced.

Back in the warehouse, Starfire was checking Nightgale for any injuries. And he had a lot of injuries. No cuts but a lot of bruises had formed already.

“We have to get you to the Watchtower right away-it’s basically the Justice League’s base and they’ll have everything we’ll need to fix you up okay?” Starfire told Nightgale. Only after she finished talking did she realize that she was speaking in English, so she readied herself for having to repeat that whole thing again.

“I’m okay,” Nightgale muttered, back in English.

Starfire gasped, “Did you learn English while punching all those criminals?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s why I took my gloves off, I’m sorry if I wasn’t-“

“No no! It’s okay, it great actually, because now you can communicate easier with everyone else! Good job Nightgale,” Starfire smiled at them and they shyly smiled back.

“Thank you,” Nightgale muttered, “Do we help those people now?”

“I got it!” Beast boy shouted. He had rounded up all the metas and there were a concerning amount of them.

“There’s at least 9 people here,” Nightgale commented, “Or more. I’m not good with counting.”

“That’s okay Nightgale,” Starfire lightly patted Nightgale’s shoulder, and they didn’t even flinch! Which was great, progress was being in one way or another. “Now, how about we check up on Nightwing hm?” Nightgale nodded, and Starfire quickly checked up on the metas before bringing Nightgale with her outside.

Nightwing and Roulette noticed the two immediately, and Roulette’s eye widened in horror.

“That kid-“ Roulette started, before becoming yet another person who got cut off by Nightgale shooting at them. She dodged but Nightwing was quick to knock her unconscious with his Escrima sticks. Nightwing cuffed her while Starfire helped out Nightgale, who was currently doubled over in pain.

“Are you okay Nightgale?” Starfire asked.

“I want and feel like death, but other than that I’m fine,” Nightgale groaned, “At least this blood isn’t mine.”

“Yeah you need to go get help right now,“ Nightwing commented, facing towards the warehouse, “First we just need to take care of metas, the criminals-this criminal, in particular, and then-“ Nightwing suddenly whipped his head around and faced Nightgale, “-did you just speak English???”

“Yeah I punched a bunch of people. No big deal. What’s that shadowy figure over there?” Nightgale pointed over towards their left, and Nightwing immediately knew who it was.

“If I look over and I see it’s Batman I will not be surprised,” Nightwing sighed. He turned around and did not see Batman, so clearly he needed to spin back around and there he was, Batman. 

“I’ve notified the League about the Tamaranean child,” Batman had began, quickly getting to the point, “You and Starfire can take him to the Watchtower with the Zeta-Tubes and preform a check-up before any questioning.”

“Doesn’t the Zeta-Tubes only work for registered members?” Starfire asked.

“And what about the bad guys?” Nightgale added. He was looking at Batman with a sense of awe, for some reason.

“Beast Boy and I will take care of it. I was able to collect a DNA sample from the initial crash site and registered Nightgale as a guest,” Everyone noticed how Nightgale very visibly flinched once Batman talked about collect a DNA sample.

Nightwing gently patted Nightgale’s shoulder, and they looked up at him with their tired, scared eyes. Nightwing gave them a little smile, “It’s going to be okay Nightgale.” But Nightgale’s expression stayed the same as the trio made their way towards the nearest Zeta-Tube.

It was going to be fine, Nightwing was sure of it. Yeah, something bad might happen because life, but Nightgale would be okay soon enough. But Nightwing could only think about what he saw before he entered the warehouse. Was Nightgale really a Tamaranean? Starfire wasn’t effected by whatever he and Beast Boy saw, and they were both human.

Nightgale wasn’t a human, that’s for sure. But what if was a human, a meta more likely. But then why did he fall from the sky? A portal could’ve opened-actually, a portal would’ve been the only way they could’ve came here, since they definitely don’t seem to have the energy to fly all the way to Earth from…wherever they were from.

So what was Nightgale? Who was Nightgale?

Nightwing didn’t know what was the truth yet, but it wouldn’t be long until he found out. He was sure of it. But for now, he just wanted to make sure Night Jr. was safe.

[intricatechaosofyou]

Types of Kisses

Pairing: Hunter x reader; Wrecker x reader; Tech x reader; Echo x reader; Crosshair x reader

Fandom: The Bad Batch; Star Wars

Summary: members of the Bad Batch as different types of kisses

Warnings: spoilers for season 2 ep. 13 on Hunter’s, blood and injury in Echo’s, storm in Crosshair’s, reader is mentioned being shorter than Wrecker but otherwise all are inclusive to all body types, genders, etc!! And if you feel that they aren’t, please tell me! I want to be as inclusive as I can!

Author’s note: this is the first time I’ve done something like this so tell me if you like it! Slight AU in which Crosshair has rejoined the Batch. Also, you are already in a relationship with your batcher at this point in time.

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━

HUNTER: kisses on the neck

You were leaning on the rocky wall, overlooking Pabu as the lights came on for the night. The sight was truly marvelous, bringing you a sense of tranquility that usually evaded you.

For the first time since Order 66 was given and your world was turned upside down, you truly felt like you belonged somewhere.

“What’re you up to?” A smoky voice questioned as two warm hands settled on your hips.

Leaning back into Hunter’s chest, you shrugged. “Just looking.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

You hummed in agreement as you felt his lips press against his spot on your neck. It never made much sense to you, but every moment like this, when things were calmer than usual, Hunter would press his lips to the same spot on your neck without fail. Every. Single. Time.

It didn’t bother you. Quite the opposite actually. You enjoyed the affection, but you just wanted to understand why.

“Hunter?” You whispered, reaching one of your hands back to card through his hair.

“Cyar’ika?” He responded, breath tickling your neck.

“Why do you always like to kiss me there?”

His eyes flickered up to yours. “Where?”

“That spot on my neck,” you answered with a laugh.

“It’s your pulse point,” he explained, voice lower and softer than normal. “Being able to feel it reminds me you’re here. Makes me feel closer to you.”

Your breath felt shaky and your eyes welled with tears. The sincerity of his admission coupled with the nervousness in his voice made you remember why you fell in love with him in the first place.

“Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum,” you mumbled, turning in his hold so you could look him in the eyes. You were sure your pronunciation was off, but the way his eyes softened told you he understood.

“Someone’s been practicing their Mando’a.”

“Are you impressed?”

“With you? Always.”

A grin broke out on your face at the admission, and you pulled him into an embrace.

“What if we stay here?” Hunter whispered.

You hummed, nuzzling your head into his chest. You’d be content in his arms forever. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

“Neither would I,” he replied with an airy chuckle. “But I meant here as in…Pabu.”

“Permanently?” You asked, looking up at him. “As in, we stop being soldiers?”

He nodded slowly, beautiful brown eyes searching your face. “We could stop running, stop going on jobs for a few lousy credits. We could settle down.”

“Settle down?” You repeated.

“You, me, and Omega. We could have a house here in lower Pabu. We could be…”

“A family,” you finished for him.

His tongue swiped across his lips as he nodded. “Is that something you want?”

“More than anything in the galaxy, Hunter,” you replied, voice almost too quiet for him to hear.

A grin broke out across his face and he brought you into his chest, arms wrapping around your waist, yours coming to rest on his shoulders.

The two of you stood there holding each other as his lips found their spot on your neck and it was as if every star in the galaxy had aligned.

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━

WRECKER: kisses on the cheek

A sequence of splashes echoed throughout the small clearing, Omega’s amazed gasp following it. The Batch had been traveling for ages and had found a relatively secluded planet to take a short break on. When you discovered it had a small lake, you and Omega were the first ones there.

“Can you teach me how to do that?!” Omega begged, tugging on your arm.

Who knew skipping rocks would be so entertaining? Her child-like sense of wonder still managed to make you smile. Even after everything she had been through, she’d never lost her sense of innocence and hope.

“Course, ‘Meg,” you replied. “First thing you gotta do is find a flat rock.”

Listening obediently, Omega searched the ground, fingers trailing along the dirt much like Hunter’s did when he was tracking something. When she came upon a satisfactory rock, she held it out to you. “Will this do?”

You nodded. “Perfect. Now, you gotta hold it correctly.”

Demonstrating with your own rock, you showed her how her pointer finger and thumb should wrap around the stone. She followed suit, and you gently nudged her fingers so they were properly placed.

“Now when you throw it, you gotta flick your wrist,” you explained, moving your hand back and forth to show the motion. “Think you got that?”

Omega nodded vigorously, copying your motion almost perfectly.

“Good. Now, you wind up and throw.”

Rocking back onto her heels, Omega winded up and threw her rock. It hit the water’s surface and sank, causing a frown to form on her face.

“That’s alright, ‘Meg.” You offered her a reassuring smile and gently patted her shoulder. “You can try again.”

Suddenly, a large splash made you both turn towards the rippling water.

The booming laugh from your left alerted you to the fact the culprit was Wrecker. He grinned sheepishly and came to sit next to you and Omega. “And if you can’t, it’s more fun to just throw ‘em in!”

His statement made Omega laugh. You could always count on the large clone to bring the kid out of a stupor.

You smiled at the two and placed your rock in Omega’s hand. Nodding towards the lake, you squeezed her shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Omega got ready to try again. Winding up and throwing, the three of you watched as the rock hit the water once…twice…three times.

All of you cheered, pride for the young girl swelling in your chest.

The young girl turned back to you. “Did you see that?!”

“I did, short stack. Good job,” you praised, gently ruffling her blonde hair.

She smiled at you before running down the path to find more rocks to skip, careful to stay within your line of sight.

With a content sigh, you moved to lounge on Wrecker’s lap as he sat down. “She’s a quick learner.”

“She had a good teacher,” Wrecker mumbled, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer to him.

You smiled and turned your head to press a kiss to his cheek. The mountain of a man was usually towering above you, his cheek too far above you to even think about pressing a kiss to it, so you took advantage of the situation.

The kiss made him blush and the red tint covering his cheeks made you giggle.

Laying your head on his shoulder, you closed your eyes. “Isn’t this nice?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Wish everyday could be like this.”

“Me too,” you whispered, looking up at the clone. “Me too, Wreck.”

The two of you sat there for as long as you could, content with just holding each other as you watched Omega skip rocks along the lake. And for once, the ever chaotic galaxy seemed to still to let you two have your moment.

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━

TECH: kisses on the nose

“Spanner wrench.” Tech’s hand stretched out towards you, waiting expectantly for the tool to be placed in his hand.

His head was under the control panel of the Marauder as he tried to recalibrate the controls after a particularly bad landing on the last mission. You volunteered to help him so Omega could go explore the town with the rest of the guys. But so far your “helping” had just consisted of handing him tools as you sat on the floor next to him.

You placed the tool in his hand, watching with amusement as his hand disappeared once again. It was the only part of him you’d seen for hours now.

“Tech?”

“Yes?”

“How much longer until the repairs are complete?” You questioned, leaning back on your forearms.

“Not much longer. Why?”

You shrugged, a smirk gracing your face. “Just wanted to know how much longer I have to go without seeing your handsome face.”

The clone froze mid motion, the spanner wrench almost slipping out of his grasp.

“Something wrong, handsome?” You asked, teasing lilt in your voice.

Finally, Tech removed his head from the control panel so he could look at you. His goggles were knocked askew and his nose was scrunched up like it always was whenever he didn’t understand something.

“Why are you calling me that?”

“Calling you what?” You blinked innocently, playing dumb.

“‘Handsome,’” he clarifies, eyebrows scrunching together. “You’ve never called me that before.”

You frowned and leaned towards the man, lightly kissing the tip of his nose. “Just because I’ve never called you that before doesn’t mean it isn’t true. You’re so unbelievably handsome.”

It took Tech a second before he got his bearings about him again. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, handsome,” you replied with a wink, kissing the tip of his nose again.

A faint smile made its way to his lips as he adjusted his goggles. “I happen to think you’re rather attractive as well.”

“Such a charmer,” you snorted.

“I am simply stating a fact. You are extremely attractive to the standards of many species across the galaxy.”

“And if it wasn’t a fact?” You teased.

“Then I’d still find you attractive,” he admitted, placing a hand over yours.

You felt heat creep up your neck at the admission. Although it wasn’t quite as romantic as the declarations of love you’d seen in the Holofilms, it was Tech’s own way of expressing his adoration of you. “Oh, Tech. I love you.”

“I am fond of you as well,” he responded, earning a light hit on the shoulder from you.

“Just fond?” You teased, faking a glare.

He smiled, leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose, just as you’d done to him. “I love you.”

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━

ECHO: kisses on the finger

“Dank ferrik!” You hissed, pulling your hand away from the blade you had been cleaning.

It had been a bad battle with the Batch, resulting in you and your opponents getting up close and personal. Thankfully, the six of you had made it out without any damage. The only reminder of the battle was the blood smeared across your favorite viroblade.

Now you had cut your own finger while trying to clean it. You watched as your blood mixed with that of your opponents and grimaced. You stood and made your way to the door to go and wash the blood off, but a gentle hand grabbing your wrist made you pause.

“Cyar’ika, what did you do?” Echo asked, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Nothing,” you lied, heat crawling up your neck.

“So you didn’t just cut yourself?”

You frowned. You couldn’t get anything past Echo. Despite not having Hunter’s enhanced senses, he could always tell when something had happened to you.

“I’ll never understand how you can be so graceful with that knife in the field but so clumsy while cleaning it,” he chuckled. He was right, it wasn’t the first time you had cut yourself while trying to clean your blade. It was comical really that your only injury was due to your own clumsiness.

Jutting out your bottom lip just a little, you questioned, “Will you patch it up for me?”

“You don’t even have to ask,” he replied with a smile. He placed his scomp on the small of your back and led you to the fresher.

Once you two were in the cramped room, he turned on the sink and placed your hand under the stream of cool water to rinse out the wound.

As you held your finger under the water, Echo retrieved a small bandage and bacta spray. “Give me your hand,” he ordered.

You did as he said and he turned off the water.

“This might hurt,” he warned, grimace crossing his face.

“I’ll be fine, Echo,” you assured the clone.

He nodded. “Alright. Three, two, one.”

At one, he sprayed the small cut with the bacta.

Although it was a small cut, the spray still caused a sting. You hissed quietly, making Echo look up at you with concern.

“‘M sorry, cyare,” he muttered.

“It’s alright,” you assured him. “I’ve been through worse.”

The clone offered you a weak smile before wrapping a small bandage around it. “There. Not too tight?”

You shook your head. “Nope. It’s perfect.”

He smiled. “Alright then, cyare, you’re all patched up.”

“I am?” You asked, tilting your head with a pout. “Because it still hurts.”

A worried frown made its way to his face. Now he was concerned that your small cut was something bigger. He immediately cupped your face with his hand. “What do you need?”

Your heart clenched at his concerned tone. You hadn’t meant to scare him.

“Cyare?”

“I’m okay, Echo. I promise. Just want you to kiss it better,” you admitted with a bashful smile.

A relieved chuckle escaped his lips. “That I can do.” Slowly, he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the pad of your cut finger.

You smiled at him. “Much better.”

With a small smirk, he pressed a kiss to the rest of your fingers. “I’m glad.”

━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━

CROSSHAIR: kisses on the temple

Rain pelted the surface of the planet you were on. It was a simple extraction mission for Cid but the storm prevented you from taking off to deliver the package. For now, all you could do was sit and wait.

Most of the boys were trying to get some rest while you had the downtime, but you sat in the cockpit, watching the raindrops hit the ship as you sat perched on the lap of the resident sniper.

“I still don’t understand why you like this,” he mumbled, eyes trained on a water droplet as it ran down the glass.

“You don’t find it relaxing?” You asked. Watching the rain had always proven relaxing to you ever since you were young. During rainstorms you were able to forget the chaos and war as you watched the rain cleanse the planet.

Crosshair’s arms tightened around you as thunder rattled the ship. “Relaxing?”

“Yeah. Don’t you feel the peace that comes in with the rain?” You questioned, glancing at the hardened face of the sniper.

“No,” he replied, voice curt.

Laughing quietly, you brought a hand up to cover his eyes. “You’re too focused. Let go of yourself.”

The clone hummed in annoyance as his sight was blocked, yet he made no move to stop you. For anyone else, touching was completely off the table when it came to Crosshair. However, he made an exception for you and your soft touches, your gentle caresses. It filled your heart with joy that he allowed you to do something so few others got the opportunity to.

You let out a content sigh as you laid your head on his shoulder. “Just listen to the rain. Don’t think about anything else. Just think about how delicately the rain falls.”

“Delicate?” He asked. You could feel the way his brows creased in confusion under your hand as he continued. “A flower is delicate. A baby tooka is delicate. Rain is not delicate. Not when it’s storming like this.”

Just then, as if to prove his point, a loud crack of thunder sounded, shaking the ship.

You couldn’t miss the way Crosshair’s grip on you tightened just the slightest bit when the Marauder rattled. For a man so hardened by the war, you could only imagine what the thunder claps reminded him of.

Gently, you tilted your head and pressed a kiss to the scar on his temple. “It can’t hurt us in here.”

The clone sighed and nodded, but his body didn’t relax.

“And I’m right here,” you assured him, pressing another kiss to his temple. “And so are you.” Another kiss. “And it’s gonna be okay.”

As you kissed him for that fourth time, finally you felt his fingers uncurl from your hips just the slightest bit and a little bit of the tension slip away from his body.

“I love you,” he murmured. You could barely hear his voice above the rain hitting against the ship, but still you caught the rare affectionate words from the man.

“I love you, too.”

And those four words made the rain not seem as bad.

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They���ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed in February & March

18 fics and ~720k (!!!) total. Includes fics from the following fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Kung Fu Panda

Pornstar Martini by blatantblue/@blatantblue and brightened Hazbin Hotel | Angel Dust/Husk | 5k | Mature | Part 1 of Pornstar Martini

Naturally, Husk’s kindness goes straight to Angel’s head. This is why he doesn’t do heroin — you try that shit once, you always want it. You may never take it again, but you’ll carry the gaping-aching hole in your chest until the end of your days. Or the end of eternity. Angel never needed aftercare before; he puts the blame squarely on Husk’s huggable shoulders.

Sour Dove by blatantblue/@blatantblue Hazbin Hotel | Angel Dust/Husk | 6k | Explicit | Part 2 of Pornstar Martini

“What do you need?” Husk asks again, hand in Angel’s hair, always in Angel’s hair. Angel needs to feel something that’s his and only his. He needs to know there’s a part of him, a pathetic inch, when he doesn’t yet end and Valentino doesn’t yet begin. He needs a lie. “Put me on my knees.” Husk doesn’t even flinch. “You know I’m not gonna do that, baby.” Angel and Husk get as close as they can without breaking each other.

Call Your Bluff by RazzAppleMagic/@razzapplemagic Hazbin Hotel | Angel Dust/Husk | 72k (WIP) | Explicit

Val may be a fucking monster, but he’s a monster that Angel knows. He’s a monster that Angel understands. Angel isn’t stupid; he made the choice to sign with Valentino because he was the only overlord that made sense for Angel’s lifestyle — for what Angel wanted out of Hell. But now you’re tellin’ him that his soul is owed to some random fucking jackass who swindled Val in a game of cards? How can that be fair? How can that be something that’s just allowed to happen? (In which, Angel's contract is acquired by a new overlord — Hell's very own Gambling Demon, and they both get more from the relationship than either of them bargained for.)

snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus/@silentwalrus1 Fullmetal Alchemist | Gen | 260k (WIP) | Mature

Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started. “Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”

Call Sign: Morning Star by blatantblue/@blatantblue Hazbin Hotel | Alastor/Lucifer Morningstar | 7k | Explicit

“You,” Alastor says slowly, “came up here to proposition me?” Lucifer shrugs. “And if I did?” Joy and the thrill of friendship are not on Alastor’s frequency, and neither is Lucifer. But it may be their last night in Hell; in the circumstances, Lucifer’s mouth on him is infinitely less of a terrible idea.

You're in MY House, Bitch by brightened Hazbin Hotel | Adam/Lucifer Morningstar | 3k | Explicit

“Is this what you’ve been up to?” Adam asks. “A rubber duck orgy?” Lucifer gasps, reaching for the nearest duck and clutching it to his chest. “How dare you! I’ve never fornicated with any of my ducks. In fact … I haven’t fornicated since Lilith.” Lucifer drops the duck in favor of drumming both hands on his chest. “Well, that’s embarrassing. Why am I saying this to you?” Lucifer propositions Adam. Not in that way! But also, yes in that way.

Dusk Till Dawn by Novaeris Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 13k | Mature

When Blitzø gets drugged and kidnapped by an imp gang, he has to fight tooth and nail to make it out with his life. When his injuries prove to be a bit too much for him to handle, he sucks up his pride and goes to ask Stolas for help. Normally, not a big deal. Except this time, he hasn’t spoken to the guy since their shitty first date at Ozzie’s. And when one of his wounds gives Blitzø a nasty fever, he finds himself revealing a lot more than he intended. A post ep 7 fic with a lot of Blitzø whump and Stolas finally learning where the lines of communication had broken down between them.

Far From Heaven by Novaeris Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 45k | Explicit

After their disastrous first date, Blitzo and Stolas struggle to pick themselves back up again in the aftermath. It takes many small steps before they can finally be honest, with themselves and with each other. Blitzo learns to tell the truth. And Stolas learns that, sometimes, things aren’t as hopeless as they appear. A study of Blitzo and a study of Stolas as they fall apart and then come back together after ep 7.

Palaces and Souvenirs by CloudySonder/@cloudysonder Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 14k (WIP) | Mature

So Stolas is objectively. Objectively. Attractive. Kinda soft-looking, sometimes. Pretty. Whatever. Fuckin’ whatever. That’s always been a thing. Blitzo knew that, Stolas definitely knew that-- whatever. This is not, Blitzo thinks, sounding a little bit desperate even to himself, some sort of revelation. the lack of Slow-Burn Friends-With-Benefits to Lovers with Octavia & Blitzo Bonding as a Sideplot content in the stolitz community is Appalling, so i am merely fulfilling a demand in the market

"Red." by QUINADEN Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 10k | Explicit

Another full moon, another sexual rendevous. But when Stolas suggests that he return the favor for once, Blitz has to confront the fact that giving over even more control of the situation might be the scariest compromise he’s ever had to make.

At Your Service by QUINADEN Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 14k (WIP) | Mature

When Blitz was 10, his family sold him to the Ars Goetia family, believing that he’d have a far better life than he ever would in the circus business given his lack of general talent and skill. With his soul forever bound by contract, he has one job and one job only: to serve Prince Stolas of the Ars Goetia. Part of that duty eventually became having a nearly two-decades-long affair with the prince. But when their secret is discovered by Andrelphus, who threatens to expose them both to the Goetia family, just how far will Blitzø be willing to go in order to protect Stolas, and, by extension, his own life?

The Devil Is My Shepherd by QUINADEN Helluva Boss | Blitzø/Stolas | 28k (WIP) | Mature

No longer able to live in the comfort of the home and property he owned for decades, Blitzo has now moved in (at least temporarily) with Stolas while he recovers from his injuries sustained at the hands of the local Catholic congregation. No one said adjusting to an entirely new life in Hell would be easy, but between Stolas' daughter going through the motions of her parents separating, his new friends planning their wedding, a manager who is both younger and far braver than he is, and Stolas himself, it's been difficult, to say the least. Grappling with a brand new lifestyle and world without the comfort of the deity his parents raised him to embrace, things are certainly going to be rough. He's already been dragged down into the depth of Hell, though: how much worse could it get?

Traces of Spring by nehezt/@nehezt Kung Fu Panda | Gen | Mature

While investigating a strange phenomenon, Po inadvertently brings Tai Lung back from the Spirit Realm. Forced to live again, Tai Lung must grapple with his place in the world and the feelings that led to his attack on the Valley of Peace.

Competition by astolat/@astolat Game of Thrones | Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth | 11k | Mature

Almost the instant Brienne was out of earshot, Bronn turned to Podrick, jerked his head towards Jaime and asked, “Has he fucked her yet?”

Words by astolat/@astolat Game of Thrones | Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth | 10k | Explicit

“So we’ll look for you in the North," Robb Stark said, "coming to pay your debt."

Let The River Run by astolat/@astolat Game of Thrones | Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth/Robb Stark | 61k | Explicit

The deep satisfaction of having made the right choice; of having found a clear-flowing wellspring of true honor to protect.

Royal Flush by astolat/@astolat Game of Thrones | Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth/Margaery Tyrell | 85k | Explicit

Robb Stark had swept his entire hand of cards off the table, and Tyrion couldn’t see how to make a single play at all.

Winter's Crown by astolat/@astolat Game of Thrones | Jaime Lannister/Robb Stark | 76k | Explicit

“When the Night’s King rides,” the giant said, each word slow as cold honey pouring, “the King in the North must answer. The King in the North…whose name is Stark.”

[dumpster-fire-sapphic-failgirl]

Okay, big spoilers for WBN: WWWO : Ep 33 : The Witness ahead. Only click past the cut if you want spoilers and wild theorizing

There were a lot of big bombshells dropped this episode but I think one of the biggest is that the Stranger is the defacto ruler of Rhuv.

All of the Chalices are sworn to him, through his various guises

The monarchy is “negotiable” according to his lover talking to Ame, at very least implying that it existed only as long as it served him

That same lover stated the mission was “to bring humanity to heel” not just the Citadel or the Empire

Three of the Witches of the Elder Coven have sworn to serve him, we’ll see if that lasts only until the Citadel is uprooted

Wren has long stood in the way of the coven serving The Stranger.

these are all facts from the episode.

Now for some historical facts:

• Eioghorain was at least part of the leadership for a revolution in Gaothmai

• Both Grandmother Wren and Soft and Stone took measures against MiB specifically

• Soft and Stone hunted the League of Whispers

• Stone was loyal to “magic itself”

• Soft freed wrongly imprisoned spirits

• No one has memory of the attack on Suvi’s parents, except maybe Eioghorain

• The Stranger has been “moving upon the world” since the 1650s

• the summer of 1656 was when Suvi’s parents died

• Eioghorain is half spirit

• The curse on Ame smelled of Eioghorain

• The curse on Wren came about from an attack by the Stranger

Now for Wild Speculation™️

Eioghorain has been forcefully possessed by the Stranger since he, along with Soft and Stone, were ambushed in a trap with the purpose of guaranteeing the necessity of destroying the Citadel through war and uniting the world under The Stranger

why do I think that?

Wren has long been the holdout, the thorn in the side of unanimity for the Elder Coven swearing allegiance to the Stranger, believing that a peaceful solution was possible. Soft and Stone were her best chance at having this come to pass. Powerful/loved leaders that respected spirits and magic itself.

Civil war is inconvenient for outside wars. The leadership of Gaothmai wanted Eioghorain out of the way.

The League of Whispers were supposedly working to destroy the Citadel. It is just as likely that they served The Stranger, considering the sad state of the Antivolists as described by Tefmet

My theory is that Eioghorain’s half spirit nature made him the ideal vessel for The Stranger to walk the world (which started in a window of time that covered that summer) and that Rhuv offered to help the Gaothmai leadership remove the largest internal threat to them, and allowed so many factions to take out the two biggest obstacles to a peaceful resolution (or revolution) for the Citadel

That’s why the curse smelled of Eioghorain. His body cast it, if not his will.

Soft and Stone, dead. Maybe at his hands, maybe not (i’ve got a different essay about geas and modify memory and Steel) But the blame on him. Drives another wedge between the Citadel and the world. Gives Steel a reason to never stop the war. And gives the Stranger a body to work his will on the world.

And maybe, to take it over