#I’ve been waiting for an excuse to rant about this sorry for making you the victim razz

[pendingnomdeplume]

pairing: hozier x gn!reader rated: T (language)

PROMPT: A small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss.

author's note: This was pre-written and is part of a backlog of items I still have from the previous blog. xoxo.

“Five minutes!” A voice crackles over the radio clipped to your belt, yet you’re undeterred as you continue to stare Andrew down. It’s a stand-off of sorts—the natural progression of a confrontation after he made some snarky comment under his breath, and you whirled around on him to finally, finally ask him what his fucking problem is with you. 

“I seem to be the only person you can’t stand on this entire crew, and I just want to know why,” you say, your tone is low and restrained as you attempt to keep anyone else from hearing on the other side of the dressing room door. The rest of the band is waiting in the wings, but the pounding footsteps of crew members dashing by makes you nervous. 

Andrew glances between the door and you. His mouth opens and closes, but neither an excuse nor an answer comes out. Instead, he runs an agitated hand over his frizzy hair and sighs loudly. 

“I don’t know…” He trails off, eyes still averted away from your heated stare. 

“You don’t know…what, exactly? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Bullshit. You absolutely fucking do. Don’t know why you hate me so much? Then, please, figure it the fuck out. I’m here to do a job, and it’s really hard to personally assist someone when that person is being a total fucking dickhead all the time! Christ Almighty, I’ve only ever heard good things about you, and yet I’m somehow the one that gets this shitty, snarky version of y—” 

His hands are on your face before you even realize he’s stepped closer, too caught up in your own rant to pay attention. His touch is firm, squishing your cheeks as he tilts your head to force your own gaze upward. 

It happens in the blink of an eye. You feel the brush of a kiss against your lips before he pulls away and puts distance between you. His expression is full of worry, an apology already on his tongue as you stare blankly. His mouth is moving, but you’re not comprehending anything he says as your face burns. You can still feel the ghost of his touch as though it’s imprinted on your skin. 

Andrew is still rambling when you reorient yourself. “...and, if you’re completely done with me and this whole thing, I get it, and I won’t blame you for leaving. But I can talk to the tour manager, and maybe we can put you somewhere else? I’m sure Allison would love to have someone, and you wouldn’t have to see me or deal with me for the most part, and you could still work with the band because I know they love you. I’m just so, so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking doing that when I’ve been awful to you, I don’t deserve the kindness or patience you’ve extended to me, and I don’t—I’m sorry I fucked this up. I didn’t know what to do.” 

You swallow audibly. “Didn’t know what to do about what, exactly?” 

There’s the barest hint of a smile on his lips as he replies. “Feelings. Not great at ‘em. Obviously.” 

Annoyance buzzes along your skin, but you ignore it as you comprehend what he’s actually saying. “You…have feelings. For me.” It’s less a question and more a statement. 

“Correct,” he nods. 

“And your plan to deal with that was to bully me like you’re 12 years old?” 

He shrugs. “Wasn’t exactly a plan. More that it just…happened that way.” 

You can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this. Of him. 

“Jesus, Andrew. Did you want to pull on my pigtails while you’re at it? Grown-ass man…” 

You catch the shift in his expression—the way his shoulders relax just slightly, the way he allows himself a small, cheeky smile as he shrugs and replies. “More than happy to do so if you ask.” 

There’s something about that response—about the way he smiles at you, eyes crinkling in genuine joy and relief that you’re not shouting abuse at him or leaving the tour altogether—that spurs you forward. A rough tug on the lapels of his grey suit jacket clues him in quickly, and suddenly you’re pressed back against the dressing room door as he kisses you like a man possessed. Your hand automatically comes up to rest at the nape of his neck, unable to bite back a whine as his tongue slides against yours, as his hands grip your waist and threaten to slide up your shirt.

A banging sound reverberates through your chest, startling both of you until you’re springing towards opposite sides of the room. The door swings open, and a miserable-looking tech pokes his head in and points at Andrew with a frown. 

“You! We gotta go! Only a minute!” The tech is gone in a flash, the sound of his words echoing down the hall as he jogs back towards the stage. 

Andrew can only choke out an apologetic sound with a desperate flail of his hands, and you wave him off with one hand while the other covers your grin. “Go, go, go, we’ll talk later. Go be a rockstar or whatever.” 

He snorts, and you barely catch the, “Hardly a rockstar,” as he jogs out of the room. 

[aptericia]

[tags from @dazzlerazz reading: “#this is me with osvald ot2 #I actually got a convo between him and partitio about osvald's body type and how in-shape he is #I just elect to believe that isn't true #osvald's got a belly for SURE #he's my blorbo I make the rules #reblog #fandom stuff”]

you’re so real for this. Personally I can see Ozzy being in shape due to being forced to mine for five years, but he also 100% deserves a belly.

What really gets me is that TEMENOS has visible abs if you class him as an Arcanist??? Mr. Temenos “physical labor never really agreed with me” Mistral??? The guy who sits around reading histories or whatever all day??? The guy who can’t do more than 1 damage with a staff by the end of the game???

[tally-vi]

i was only gonna write in the tags but that turned into a rant so

warning! don’t open the tags unless you want a long unorganized rant!

ABOUT THE ALEX KISTER SITUATION

Just found out about the situation, and this might give me hate, but I think its important to say:

LETS WAIT TO HEAR ALEX KISTER

As disgusting as the allegations are, we shouldnt turn this into another Kwite situation. People are already jumping the gun and claiming that him being a creep is the absolute truth, but we all need to wait.

I hate saying this, but this could be fake. I don't like thinking this but after so many cases of shit like this I can't help but have to doubt and wait.

If the allegations are true than I will post here and apologize for doubting the victims. As someone who suffered with stuff like that before, I hope to God that no one ever goes through something like those people did.

Anyway, I might go to bed now, I hope he responds soon so I can have the full picture

[sunsetsturniolos]

Oneshot: Matt confronting you after you start getting quiet. You’ve been getting insecure and you feel like you’re holding him back. This hot ass man is sweet as fuck tho!!!

talk to me - matt sturniolo x fem reader

a/n: took my own little twist on this :) sorry is there are any mistakes!

warnings: mentions of toxic childhood, not eating, hate comments, insecurities. if you are going through any of this please talk to someone! my inbox is always open if you need some to rant to 💞

as always my inbox is open for requests, but other than that, enjoy!

lots of love,

m💌💌💌

it had been about 2 weeks since you and the triplets have done anything together. every time they asked you to do something that involved getting ready nicely you shut them down. this wasn’t like you, normally you were a very bubbly and happy person who was always jumping at opportunities to do something fun, so you knew they were starting to get suspicious but you just brushed it off and moved on.

lately you’ve been feeling very insecure with yourself. you grew up in a toxic environment, which lead to you always having the thought in the back of your head that you weren’t good enough. recently, you’d been in some of the triplets videos, and the hate had been adding to this. you’d stopped eating as much, cutting down to a few snacks a day, maybe a whole meal if you were lucky. it’d been like this for a while, and while you hated doing this to yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

a few days had passed and matt was starting to get worried. he knew you were struggling at the moment but he didn’t realise it was this bad. the triplets ordered canes for dinner last night, and while matt thought you ate your meal and didn’t finish because your stomach was hurting, he was wrong. he found your entire meal in the bin the next morning and suddenly everything made sense. he’s been trying to muster up the words and courage of what to say to you. he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t bare to see his beautiful girl going through this. he waited a while before finally going to your guys’ shared bedroom, already finding you sat on the bed, phone in hand. you had bags under your eyes. you’d lost a lot of weight, you weren’t yourself anymore.

“hey baby, can we talk?” matt stuttered,

“uh, yeah of course,” you hesitantly replied, these kind of conversations always made you nervous. “uhm i don’t really know how to start this, but i saw all of your food from last night in the trash, i thought you ate some of it?” matt asked.

shit. you thought.

“oh eh i just wasn’t that hungry thats all.” you quickly replied, hoping to end the conversation.

matt knew that was all bullshit.

“love, you and i both know that isn’t true,” he spoke.

oh you were screwed.

“talk to me baby, whats going on?” he carried on, adding a comforting hand to your thigh, you tensed under his touch.

tears started to well up in your eyes, you knew you couldn’t keep it in anymore, you had to tell him. “i’ve just been feeling a bit insecure recently, i mean you’ve seen the comments right? everyone thinks i’m fat!” you’d broken down by now. matt’s face was drained with guilt. “baby those comments don’t mean anything! your the most gorgeous girl i know! they’re just jealous, mean 12 year olds! please don’t let them affect you. everyone loves you so much, nick loves you, chris loves you, and i love you more than anything! this isn’t healthy, you need to eat.” matt was right. “i know, i just didn’t know what to do.” it was a lame excuse and you knew it, but you had nothing else to say. “please talk to me next time, you know i’m always here for you,” he reassured, you lazily nodded.

“i love you matt.” “i love you more baby, why don’t we go get ice cream from down the street, your favourite?” matt smiled. “that sounds great honey, thank you.” you blushed.

matt quickly kissed you forehead and grabbed his keys from the dresser. he held his hand out for you as you got up and interlocked fingers, making your way to the car.

what would you do without this boy.

tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @lanai3mother

[tinkerbelle05]

We are Done

Characters: 1610!Miles Morales x black!fem!reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: Miles being a shitty bf & lying

Summary: Miles has been hiding things from you and after he leaves during your date, you have had enough.

Notes: first time writing Miles, might be a bit occ. Some cussing too.

You were sitting in your and Miles' favorite diner for over 20 minutes on a sunny Saturday afternoon. It was somewhat filled, mostly with teens on dates, like you are supposed to be. You try to drink some water and play a mindless game on your phone to distract yourself from the irritation you are feeling. But those do not help.

You had a whole date planned for you and Miles to catch up. Lunch at the diner, next catch a movie, and then go to an arcade. And Miles promised he would be here and instead, you were staring at an empty booth across from you.

When things were, it was so good. Miles is kind, funny, and he's everything to you. You two have been through a lot together in the last year and came out stronger. But when things were bad, they were downright terrible. He is constantly late to most of the dates you planned and you are trying to be understanding. School is hard and he is under pressure but you don't know how long you can keep giving your hopes up like this. You are reaching a breaking point.

You hear his voice before you see him. You hear him apologize for bumping into someone and watch as he hastily sits down. He looks frazzled; curls sticking out a bit, eyes darting around, and heavy breathing.

“I’m glad you could make it,” you say in a collected voice but your face says what you are feeling from his pained expression. He knows he's in deep shit. Good.

You have many, many things to say to this boy right now. Most are cussing him out and yelling at him, all is deeply inappropriate to say in a public space. So you leave. You exit the store without saying a word to him because it will get ugly if you do. You just need a cool down and things will hopefully be fine.

But of course, he follows after you with yellings of “Wait” and “Slow down a bit", and all they do is make you walk faster.

Maybe in the past, you would've stopped walking and waited for him. Listen to the pre-planned excuses he would have for why he’s so late and listen to his lies of doing better. Of being better. You don’t want to hear it, you won’t listen to it. Not this time.

Somehow Miles catches up to you and holds you to stop. He pulls you into an alleyway away from the public.

“Hey, hey, I’m so-“, he starts off.

“Don’t, Miles. Just stop talking.” You scowl up at him.

And he does. You look at him to see him looking at you with those brown eyes you love. They're deep and rich, you feel like you can fall in them forever. It looks like he’d gotten a fresh new haircut too.

“Why were you late, Miles?” You asked, calmly.

“Uh, well you see the train wasn’t working, you know how they are on the weekend,” he tells you and avoids looking at you. You couldn’t help the scoff you give him and breaks loose of his grip.

“You're lying,” you tell him and your voice becomes louder with every word. “You’re always late and you just keep lying to me, Miles! Is there someone else?” But at this question, your voice is quiet and on the cusp of breaking.

“What!” He asks, eyes wide and taking some steps back. “There is no-. Why would you even ask that?!”

“Because you keep lying, Miles. Lie, lie that’s all you seem to be doing these days. And you have the nerve to ask me that?” You rant at him and walk away.

“Woah, woah.” He grabs you by the arm again and turns you around. “I know I’ve been…distant lately and I’m sorry. But there is no one, I swear. I will-”

“Do better. I will be better.” you finished for him. “That's what you always say and you never deliver. So, not only are you lying about where you are, but you're also lying about doing and being better. I can't do this right now, Miles, I can't.” When you move to go home you notice that his hand's grip on your arm isn't as tight anymore, and when you look up to see his face, his eyes are distracted and he looks spaced out.

Tears are starting to swell up in your eyes, “Are you even listening to me, Miles?!”

"Yes, of course, I am," he answers but his eyes aren't even on you.

He looks at you and at the street, obviously torn between something. But he so clearly wants to leave. You ripped your arm from his loose grip and glared up at him.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you Miles, but if you leave me right now, we are done. I’m done, do you understand?”

He starts to walk closer to you, and for a moment your heart feels a bit light but the moment is gone as quickly as it came. He was hesitating, stuck in between movements.

You give a teary laugh and start to walk away. Feeling like a fool, “Goodbye, Miles. Don’t come looking for me after this and lose my number. You clearly have made your choice.”

See ya in the next one guys 👋🏿

Taglist & Masterlist & Reqs Info

Taglist: @justbeethings, @butterfi

My Reqs are open!!

[prose-for-hire]

Toil and Trouble:

(Second part Here)

Pairing: Spike x Harris!reader

Request: Not requested, promise I am writing my requests it just happens so slowly (sorry). I got a bit overwhelmed! So when I get a random burst of inspiration like this it helps get me back into writing what I’m supposed to be writing lol.

(As always reader is gender neutral unless stated otherwise.)

Desc: reader is Xander’s twin, they aren’t a scooby they have their own friends and Xander has always tried to hide the truth about demons from them. What will happen when reader discovers an unexpected house guest in Xander’s basement room?

Warning: mention of heavy drinking (Xander’s uncle) and dysfunctional families. Cigarette.  Reader has hair long enough to be tucked behind an ear.

You and Xander had always been close. They called you and your twin double trouble, when you were younger. You had been partners in crime, if you will. You spent a lot of time together despite your different personalities. You shared the same sense of humour but after that, you were almost completely different. The arguments you had between you over what movie to watch could go down in the history books. But five minutes later you would be sharing popcorn together and cracking jokes about the movie you were watching.

However, ever since High school there was something of a rift between you. You no longer told each other everything. He started it, in your defence.

Xander was evasive and him and his friends were incredibly secretive, especially around you. You liked Buffy and Willow fine enough but you were always only an acquaintance of theirs. You had your own group of friends in high school and again in college. What you didn’t know about Xander’s increasingly comedic and unconvincing excuses and explanations was that he was trying to hide from you the dangers of Sunnydale. The demons and apocalypses and life or death situations.

He felt he was protecting you, despite Willow’s pragmatic arguments in your favour all the Scoobies agreed to keep it from you.

Where Xander had moved into the basement, you had moved on campus for college. You had promised to come home and stay for your uncles birthday weekend, however, and annoyingly Xander had the excuse of work to miss the predictably dysfunctional meal that was being held in his honour. He had passed you on the way out in his pizza uniform, grabbing you in a side hug before he left with an apologetic glance.

As predicted, it was torture. You had sat there whilst your uncle drank his way through the meal and had seemingly made it into a game of ‘how many comments can I make before they snap’. It reminded you just how glad you were to have got out of the house. The only real reason you came back was to see Xander and he had dashed out of the door.

Once the meal was over and everyone had stopped talking after the inevitable argument that had been brewing since you had stepped through the door, you slid away to try and collect yourself. Rather than going to what had been your room, which had quickly been changed when you had left, you walked down into Xander’s basement.

It was dark, you hadn’t switched the light on. You were going to sit in the chair he had down there and wait for him to rant to him about your uncle. As you felt around for the chair, you managed to touch something unfamiliar, you and the chair let out a yelp at the same time.

You scrambled for the light and saw a man sat in the chair, no, not sat in it. Tied to it. Tightly, too. He was cute, just your type too. You couldn’t help staring at him, something he caught as he smirked in your direction.

“Like what you see?” He raised his eyebrows, eyes not leaving yours. When you grinned at his words, he swore he felt his heart soar in his chest. A feeling he quickly tried to beat back down again. He wouldn’t do this again, fall for someone like this. Not so quickly, so easily.

“I’ve seen better, I suppose” You beamed when he chuckled, moving to sit on the edge of Xander’s bed.

“Hidin’ are you? Gotta say, your family aren’t exactly winners, pet”

“And there was me thinking I had won the ‘rental lottery” You offered before explaining, “I was only really here for Xander and he didn’t even stay for dinner. Just needed somewhere to…”

“Relax?” Something in his voice told you that he understood. Or at least

“Yeah, I’m not gonna even ask why you’re here tied to a chair” You smiled, you had been the kindest human he had met since getting chipped. In fact, probably of all time. He didn’t really want to tell you what he was and make you leave him here in the dark. He was enjoying the company.

For the first time in a while, he was feeling like himself again. Or at least some version of himself. One he actually liked. He decided to explain to you how he had got here, perhaps a slightly edited version. Well, a heavily edited version. One that would also make him into the hero, of course.

He spoke like a poet, you were hanging on every word. Every syllable. The story was clearly edited, but you really didn’t care. You felt it in the emotion, in the feeling of what he was saying. That couldn’t be made up.

As he spoke, the night had gone darker and the streetlights had turned on. You smiled softly, both of you were feeling a little lost in your own ways. You felt connected to him, even after only a few hours of knowing him.

“You know, in the light from that streetlamp, you glow” He let the words hang in the air, trying to gauge your reaction. In that moment, you knew he had sensed it too. Some spark. Some potential.

“I need a drink. You wanna go to the Bronze?”

“Kinda tied up at the moment, love” He moved his palms to prove it, showing a flash of black nail varnish.

You leaned in and untied him, your face so close to his. The proximity made the atmosphere around you both intense, your breath tickled his cheek and he closed his eyes slowly.

Once the ropes were loose, he jumped to his feet instantly, gripping your elbow as if to steady himself. Tiny surges of electricity fizzled through you at the contact. Though he didn’t need it for balance, he just wanted an excuse to stand close to you. His hand moved towards you, eyes never breaking from yours, catching a loose strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.

He looked as if he was going to lean into you, closing the space. You swallowed thickly, his brilliantly blue eyes dipping to your lips just as-

The door of the basement slammed open, hitting the wall beside it. Heavy footsteps could be heard descending the stairs towards you. Spike stepped backwards and you already felt cold from the absence of his presence.

You turned to find your brother, mouth agape as he stared between the two of you.

“Wh- why is Spike-?!” words escaped your brother in his shock.

“His circulation was getting cut off, stop panicking”

“I’m not panicking. I’m not. I’m not. Stop looking at me like I’m panicking!”

“Kinda looks like panicking, mate” Spike said, rolling his eyes and sliding on his leather duster.

“Me and your friend hit it off, I asked him out” You explained, tugging on your own jacket.

“Goin’ for a bite aren’t we, love?” Spike’s eyes sparkled as Xander caught his intended meaning.

“Tell them not to wait up. Or better yet, don’t tell them anything-” You gestured upwards as you started to leave when Xander, clearly in an argument with himself on whether to tell you something he had kept secret for a long time, decided he needed to say something.

“He’s my hostage!”

“I’ll bring him back, God, Xander you are so annoying”

“Don’t I get a bloody say?”

“No!” You said together, which almost put Spike off you entirely until you smiled at him again and then he was wrapped around your little finger.

He had never met anyone like you. You were strong, clearly, but so in touch with your emotions. All throughout the conversation you had for the hours before Xander walked in had felt more of a connection than anything he had said in decades to any other.

“Y/n, he’s dangerous! You can’t take him! This is my foot, and it’s going down!” Xander pointed to his foot and you gave it a light kick as you replied.

“What is it with you? It’s always, it’s my turn with the hostage, you’re a minute younger you can sit in the sandpit and wait!”

“BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE HELL UP! NOW!” A call came from upstairs, masking Xander’s yelp at your kick and  sent you both into a whisper argument that even Spike could barely hear.

“Ought to get goin’ pet, we could go for a nice, secluded walk after” Spike’s smirk widened as you nodded and started for the door. Xander’s panic had reached it’s peak, he was flailing his arms around in urgency.

“Y/n, there are things- complex things that you don’t know about. Spike is… Spike’s a…”

“Vampire? Yeah, Xander, I know. He’s whiter than snow, I’m not an idiot” You rolled your eyes at your brother, how dumb did he think you were?

Obviously Spike was a vampire or this hostage thing would be entirely too weird for you to get involved in. Plus, Spike had explained that he had been chipped by the Initiative and you had told him that you were definitely not (and never would be) part of your brothers lame little Scooby gang.

You knew all about demons and vampires and the like. You and your friends had been fending them off since high school, just perhaps not as well as your brother and the slayer. And what’s more, you knew all about the slayer too. You had accidentally walked into the library one afternoon when your librarian and Buffy had been fighting something spooky.

You had hidden so they hadn’t seen you but you overheard them say something about the chosen one, the slayer and then you had done some research of your own. You waited for Xander to tell you himself but it had been too long now and you had just never confronted him about it.

“How long have you known?”

“About as long as you’ve been keeping it from me”

Spike, who had weirdly known better than to get involved again, just stared between them. He was bored, he just wanted to spend more time with you. Who knew being chipped would have led to something like this? Finding someone that he lo-

Really liked. You just really like them, you nit.

“We’ll talk, Xander. Just, tomorrow, okay? I’m going out”

Spike grinned evilly over his shoulder at Xander as he slung an arm over your shoulder, whispering lowly in your ear as you walked away. You and your brother would have to talk, maybe shout at each other for a while. But it could all wait.

Spike lit up a cigarette and offered you took a drag as you walked by his side. The night was young and full of promise. Spike spoke almost non-stop on your way there, something he hadn’t found himself doing in an age. He tried to impress you with stories of past fights he had won, historical events he had witnessed. He just wanted to see you smile.

Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.

[lilies-n-slander]

Hazbin Hotel would be so much more interesting if charlie’s naïveté and surface-level kindness were treated as the actual flaws they are and didn’t work. Heads up, this kinda just turned into a text wall of charlie neg and ranting so don’t read if you don’t want to see that.

How she currently is, she just doesn’t make that much sense in the setting. I’ve seen ppl say that charlie is a fresh take and contrasts the edginess, but I just don’t see how she is possible. You’re telling me she’s been in hell for 200 yrs but still has this childish and naive personality, is still disgusted by the sinners being cannibalistic, violent, and even just horny, and is so detached from those she calls “her people”? She was born in hell, shouldn’t that make her more used to the sinners’ depravity and not less? She doesn’t seem to have a good grasp on what the sinners want or how they behave. It would make more sense if the show leaned into the toxic positivity white savior nepo baby angle (or rather, actually portrayed it as a *bad* thing) and rather than naïveté, her ignorance was out of self-centeredness and/or lack of true empathy for the other sinners. She would be more interesting as a character too imo.

She looks down on the other sinners (and honestly so does the show?? When she’s showing lucifer around and introduces him to her friends, they’re framed as unappealing as a joke… these are the characters the audience is also supposed to care about.. and many of the bg chars, such as the cannibal town residents, are portrayed as simple-minded brutes), there’s a lot of condescending “….ooookay” type of lines and she constantly has to think of nice ways to frame the clearly negative things she thinks about others. So why does she want to save them so much? The more reasonable explanation is a sense of white savior-ness than actually caring about them.

She’s eager to excuse whatever sir pentious did (which I’m assuming she doesn’t know?) and let him in, despite how he makes the other residents (including her own gf!) uncomfortable. And yes I say excuse, because she never inquires about his past sins or discussed him repenting. It seems to start with sorry, but also end with sorry too. This could’ve been made interesting if she simultaneously looked down on but also excused all sorts of heinous acts. Like val is the most openly manipulative and scummy character, he licks her arm, and yet she’s still apologetic about ruining things (Side note, if she’s genuinely apologetic, then she’s actually an idiot because why is she talking to the boom-mic employee *while they’re filming???*).

She doesn’t know what she’s doing and has no concrete plan but gets incredulous at ppl who don’t blindly trust her. Angel has to leave in ep 4 and she gets SO frustrated over it, like you seriously expect everyone to drop all of their other commitments for you? She has her webster definition notecards for the meeting with heaven and has to improvise and rely on angel being good at the club but she gets mad that lucifer isn’t 100% behind her plan?

Also, trust falls? Really? Then she goes “why isn’t this working? We’ve tried everything!” But on that note, the actual episode portrayal is kinda exactly what I’m going for. Not only do the trust falls not work, charlie says, “I love all of you so much,” pulls her puppy eyes, and only vaggie catches her. It’s surface level and shallow, and does not win anyone else over.

In contrast, vaggie’s attempt at building trust, throwing everyone into a battle, *actually works* (despite vaggie only being in hell for 3 years and being heaven-born, she already knows how things work better than charlie!) and yet charlie talks about it as though it already failed. She says “we work best as a team,” with the underlying message being “I can’t trust you to do things on your own.”

If she was waiting so long to reconnect with lucifer, then why hasn’t she called him in years?? Altho I’m currently rotating lucifer in my brain so I might be a bit biased

“If angels can do whatever and stay in the sky” they can’t?? Your dad is RIGHT there. I. What

She has a power dynamic with every other character except lucifer since she has her demon powers, not to mention she’s giving them a place to stay. When vaggie says she appreciates that charlie doesn’t use her powers, charlie doesn’t say “it wouldn’t be right,” she says it would be too *mean.* But if someone pushes her buttons, who’s to say they wouldn’t slip out (see her flip on a dime after val hits angel. Obv it’s justified in this case, but it shows that she’s willing to use her powers on sinners)? Again, it would be interesting if the show actually leaned into this angle. Imagine if she put on a nice front, never swore, seemed genuinely touching and understanding, but the second someone annoys her she annihilates them and becomes threatening and violent. Then she turns around and is nice again. Too much like alastor? idk

Also, many characters refer to her by calling her lucifer’s daughter, so clearly ppl know that if they cross her they’ll face his wrath by proxy (this also fits in thematically with what lute tells her in the first episode, that she’s exempt from the exterminations bc nepotism privilege). So realistically, everyone else would be a bunch of sucking-up yes-men bc they’re afraid of her. Which they kind of are when push comes to shove?

At first, she doesn’t help at all during the war and lets everyone else fight for her. Doesn’t want to get her hands dirty ig, even though all of this was caused by her in the first place. She only starts fighting at vaggie’s urging.

Like husk points out, every meeting charlie has with the angels makes things worse for all the sinners. Despite lucifer’s warnings that the meeting with heaven won’t work, and against vaggie saying to calm down, charlie basically picks a fight with heaven at the risk of *everyone else EXCEPT HER.*

What were charlie and lilith doing to stop the exterminations before lilith took her 7 year leave? Hell, what was charlie doing during those 7 years? Why does she have 0 connections outside of vaggie, who she only met 3 yrs ago? Why does she have to introduce herself to rosie, rather than her already knowing her name?

Also in ep 7 she says to alastor “I can’t believe how you can do exactly what you told me you would do!” (standing by and watching everyone fail at redemption) almost like she wasn’t paying attention to him at all.

“Why would vaggie hide that she was an exterminator” -> Rosie asks “how did that make you feel?” “It made me mad and doubt if she loves me” like I get it, it was a betrayal, but IS she stupid

Ready For This is charlie manipulating a town of ppl to join the army. Her pitch includes “on the way to the hotel the scenery is nice and you can make friends :3” and “have you ever wanted to die for a cause? Notably I myself am spared from being killed but uh that’s your problem.” Alastor pipes in that you can eat the angels and that’s what actually moves the crowd, because he understands them.

Her perspective on violence and where she chooses to draw the line is really confusing. Why does she care about sinners being violent to each other if they’ll just respawn? She stops alastor from beating up sir pentious at an arbitrary point, but is fine with him eating and presumably killing the gangsters who come after mimzy. (Edit: forgot to point out yet another example, that she was fine with vaggie tossing sir pentious and angel off the balcony but stops her from tossing niffty as well for no reason.) Why is she so apologetic to the angels actively killing sinners but was distraught over vaggie having partaken? Why was she opposed to the CANNIBALS being eager to eat the angels and saying “idk, they seem kinda murder-y” WHAT. What? I’m struggling to even begin to describe how ignorant that is during a WAR. What did she think was going to happen, that she wouldn’t have to fight anyone herself? Why did she stop her dad from killing Adam but doesn’t react strongly to Niffty finishing the job? If it mattered so much to her, the lack of reaction seems strange to me.

Isn’t it just so poetic that her weapon in the war is a shield that she uses exclusively on herself, which she hardly even needs due to her contractual immunity?

Why doesn’t she think to use her powers to build and maintain the hotel? That doesn’t require any violence or domineering. Yet when lucifer comes over it’s run-down and falling apart. Or ask lucifer to help her build it? She was concerned that asking for the meeting with heaven was such a big ask—why not start with this small thing? Father-daughter bonding.

Why does the show end w lucifer + the sinners congratulating her, and in particular, rebuilding the hotel? Hell doesn’t know that sir pentious got redeemed, so from their pov charlie’s idea didn’t work at all.

Can you tell that I’m writing this while I’m rewatching the show?

Aaand that’s that. Her char has always come off to me as somewhat condescending/fake, but I keep finding more and more things to dislike about the way she’s been written. Unfortunate. Honestly tho I might enjoy watching her more if I read her through this lens. You could probably write a similar post for most/all other chars in the show, limited only by the amount of screentime they get lmao

[lovedbybella]

infatuation (pt. 2)

miguel o’hara x female!reader

warnings: profanity and a whole lot of nsfw content

summary: being miguel’s assistant, you always thought the two of you had a good thing going. and everything was great… until it wasn’t.

word count: 3.1k

authors note: apologies for how long this took, it’s been super busy. i also wasn’t sure what direction i wanted the story to go 😭 enjoy <3

part one here

NSFW MDNI

Following Miguel’s visit, your planned movie night with Peter quickly turned into a rant session. You explained the entire situation to him, all your frustrations and feelings spilling out. He was on your side, of course, and demanded that you get both the justice and explanations that you deserved.

The following morning, despite your racing thoughts, you knew you had to speak with him. The challenge, however, was that Miguel appeared to be actively avoiding you.

Your first attempt at speaking to him was unexpected. You showed up to his office early in the morning using your employee card to enter, but surprisingly, Lyla had restricted your access, claiming Miguel wasn’t there. An obvious lie, Miguel lived and would probably die in that office.

Your second attempt was even worse, you had seen him walking towards his office. You left whatever you were doing abruptly, following after him to finally talk, but he noticed you, and locked you out, making Lyla explain some bullshit excuse about why you couldn’t enter.

You had had enough though, and went back in the evening. You simply overrode the system using Miguel’s access codes he had given to you years ago when you were first hired. He obviously hadn’t bothered to change it, especially because part of him hoped you would come back.

You enter the office abruptly, catching both Miguel and Lyla by surprise. Lyla excuses herself as you ignore his questions about how you got in. You make your way up to his platform, feeling a plethora of emotions, anger & confusion included.

“Are you insane?” you start, walking directly up to him. You cross your arms, clear anger on your face.

He stays silent, waiting for you to continue. He knows how badly he’s fucked up, and how much he’s going to have to work to earn your forgiveness, but right now, he’s just glad you tolerate him enough to come to his office and yell at him.

“You think you can show up to my apartment, spew some stories, mess with my head, and just expect all to be forgiven?” You ask both angry and confused.

His eyes scan you, before he turns, giving you his full attention, “Of course not” he replies.

“Explain yourself then,” You say firmly.

“You were right. About everything, you were right, we did have a really good thing, and I fucked it up”

“That you did.”

“Your birthday. I don’t even know where to begin, of course I didn’t forget. And I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am, because that’s all I am, I’m sorry”

You stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

“You are wonderful, you’re a wonderful assistant and an even better person. I know I don’t show it but you make this place a lot better, and I’m sorry that I’ve been treating you horribly these past few months. I let my fear of letting people get the best of me, and you didn’t deserve that at all.” He states, his voice more sincere and apologetic than you’ve ever heard before.

You nod, not one of forgiveness, but understanding. Of course, you were still upset and probably would be for a while, but the countless apologies were beginning to work.

“You do realize that I’m not going to forgive you just based on that, right?” You ask.

“Of course I do,” he says quickly, “I’ll make it up to you, in so many ways, I promise”

You nod again, before making your way over to a seat next to him. His eyes watch you as you sigh quietly, a little afraid to bring the rest of what he said up.

“Miguel” you begin, his features distort, showing the surprise from the use of his name. He sits on his desk, face turned towards you, quiet and waiting.

“Did you... mean what you said yesterday?” you continue, “With the dress… and the whole I can’t get you out of my mind thing?” you ask tentatively. “You weren’t just saying that to get me to come back right?” There's a hint of insecurity in your voice. You were sure you could probably recite the entirety of what he admitted yesterday, considering the words had been ringing nonstop in your mind for the last day. The minute you realized the affection you held for your boss crossed the realm of professionalism, you were so quick to suppress your feelings, certain there was no chance he could ever feel that way about you. To hear the exact opposite of that was a shocker, nonetheless, and you’d yet to wrap your mind around it completely.

“I meant every word,” Miguel says looking directly at you, eyes and words more serious than you can even describe.

The confirmation shakes you a bit. You immediately look away from him, too flustered to maintain eye contact. Your mind races through all the possible ways you can tell him you feel the same way before you decide that actions speak louder than words. You finally look back at him, standing up, Miguel watching your every action. You make your way in front of his sitting figure, the two of you finally eye to eye. You’re hesitant, the air in the room heavy as the two of you converse without speaking. Miguel seems to read your mind, and he interlaces your fingers with his. The action gives you the confidence you need, and you finally lean in, interlocking your lips with his.

He reciprocates almost immediately, his loose hand coming up and burying itself in your hair. There was an undeniable tenderness in the way Miguel’s lips moved, another apology, a silent one. The presence of both a softness that spoke of regret and an intensity that demonstrated just how wide the depth of his affection for you was. You pull away, your breath uneven and the kiss almost too overwhelming for you. You don’t step away, the two of you still impossibly close. Miguel makes no move to kiss you again, but he can’t deny the fact that the simple action has his head spinning. He wasn’t kidding when he told you how desperate he was for you, you truly never leave his mind.

You decide right then and there that you’d have time to continue to be mad at him later. Right now, all you wanted was his touch, everywhere. You’d been longing for it for months, and to have him at your expense was not an opportunity you were willing to waste.

“You’re going to make it up to me?” You ask softly, your eyes diverting from his to the rest of his body.

“Absolutely” he responds, his eyes boring into you with an intensity you’ll never get used to. You’re first to make a move, your touch deliberate, seeking out the warmth of his body and the rhythmic beating of his heart beneath your palm.

“I want a raise” you start. You had shown up to his office in your regular clothing. A tank top to be exact, you casually let one of the straps slip off your shoulder, a subtle gesture conveying a silent invitation for more.

The action doesn’t go unnoticed by Miguel, who watches silently before making himself look back at you. Every movement from you, no matter how small, sends a surge of longing through him. His obsession for you borders on madness, every gesture simply a tormenting reminder of his insatiable desire. He doesn’t hesitate before he replies.

“Done.”

“And I want you to move my desk back to where it was before” you continue, slipping off the other strap.

Miguel can do nothing but nod, completely mesmerized by your movements. His voice was dampened by his pure desire for you. You take advantage of his dazed state, mind muddy at your understanding of just how much he wants you. You kiss him again, this time far more intensely. He deepens it, his teeth grazing your lips causing you to quietly groan. His hands grab you, pulling you closer to him by the waist. He takes the opportunity to flip you over, laying you down, your back flat against his desk, peering up at him through your lust-filled eyes.

In a split second, he’s at you again. Placing soft but eager kisses down your neck, he captures your lips again, unable to get enough of you. This is all he’s dreamed of, all you’ve dreamed of. It’s almost impossible to believe it’s finally happening. This was the last scenario possible when he thought of what would happen when the two of you finally had a real conversation, so to say he was pleasantly surprised when you began initiating was an understatement. He knew this would do nothing toward getting him off the hook, but he wanted to show you just how sorry he was, and he was grateful, very grateful.

“Fuck” you hiss as his kisses get lower and lower. Your top is completely off now, Miguel’s hand practically ripping your bra off next. The cold air nips at your skin, but you’re far too turned on to care. Miguel’s hands move lower, spreading your legs apart at the knee. You’re dripping, both in anticipation and for him. His hands toy with the band of your shorts before he looks up, a silent plea for permission.

“Let me show you how sorry I am” he begs, voice husky and laced with desire. You can only nod, not trusting yourself to speak. He wastes no time, gesturing for you to lift your hips before he easily pulls down your shorts, underwear coming off with them. You’re completely bare against his desk. Your boss’s desk. The realization is bizarre enough on its own. The sight of Miguel on his knees, for you has you going insane. He looks heavenly, eyes lustful and hair rattled, it was a a picture you wanted engraved in your brain forever.

His hands grip your thighs tightly and he wastes no time as he licks a stripe up your slit. To him, the taste of you is absolutely divine, his red eyes glaring as he loses himself in you. Your sounds quickly fill the room, thighs clenching around his head as you lose yourself in pleasure.

“And lastly,” you start, voice breathy as you continue your demands from before, “From now on, you’re bringing me coffee every day.” Miguel chuckles lowly, head still in between your thighs. The vibration of the action sends tingles up your spine, only pushing you closer to the edge. His nose brushes against your clit as he continues to eat at you mercilessly, giving you that much-needed friction.

He continues, sloppy wet noises filling the room. You grab onto his hair tightly, causing him to groan. You’re too lost in yourself to notice, legs closing in firmly around his head as you attempt to handle what he’s giving you. He takes his hands, roughly splitting your legs apart once again. He lifts his head, eyes glossy and face wet with your slick he looks at you, it takes everything in you to stay silent at the image in front of you.

“Stop closing your legs preciosa, ‘m not done” he mumbles before diving back in. You moan, both at the sight and his voice. You’re not sure how much more you can take before you completely unfold. He nips at your clit, puffy and wet. His thick tongue is ruthless at your holes, and you honestly don’t think you’ve ever felt better than you do at this moment. You’re in a whole other world, the only thoughts you can even comprehend are how amazing you feel and how grateful you are for the man whose experienced tongue is responsible for it all.

“Miguel” you start, unable to pause long enough to get your words out, “I’m so close” you call out, your words hardly comprehensible in between the whimpers that spill out of you. He doesn’t indicate that he heard you, only picking up his pace, tongue lapping at you at a rate you didn’t even think was possible. With one final swirl, you’re unraveling around him, eyes closing in pure bliss. Quiet moans spill out of you as you start to come down from your high.

Miguel peels away from you, eyes watchful of your heaving chest and the hair stuck to your forehead with the glistening sweat that’s formed. The sight makes his cock twitch, and in a mere second, he decides he’s not done with you. He gives you no time to recover before he’s sliding one of his fingers inside of you. The motion catches you off guard, everything a thousand times more intense considering how sensitive you still are. Your previous orgasm does nothing to prepare you for just how thick his fingers are. You don’t even want to think about what it’d be like to have all of him inside you. His pace is unforgiving, sliding in and out of you like there’s no tomorrow. His eyes are latched onto you, watching and listening to every twitch, movement, and sound your body makes.

His other hand comes up, rubbing your clit. You’re slightly overstimulated, but the initial discomfort washes away as waves of pleasure begin to overtake your body again. Miguel can’t help but groan at the sight of you, he truly was willing to do whatever it took to get you to trust him again.

“So fucking perfect” he groans his praises, his pace still relentless. You whimper quietly in response, your mind a puddle of nothing as his fingers fuck you dumb. Almost embarrassingly so, it’s not long before you're approaching your end again, the nature of the situation a little too much for you to handle. Miguel places a soft kiss on your inner thigh. The action is so intimate, and you can’t take it. Before you know it, you’re coming undone once again, your pussy clenching around his fingers tightly.

“Fuck..fuck” you cry out quietly, body shaking from the intensity of your orgasm. Miguel pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. He leaves momentarily, and you take the opportunity to try and sit up, shakily of course. He’s back with a towel in an instant, cleaning you up as you wince slightly at the action, still way too sore to be touched.

There’s a tension in the room, not an uncomfortable one, but one where you’ve both realized your relationship has crossed a line you’ll never get back.

“That’s hell of a way to make it up to me” you joke, trying to get rid of the silence that has fallen over the room. Miguel gives you a small smile, handing you your clothes back so you can start to get dressed.

“I hope you know that wasn’t my apology to you, I have a long way to go,” he says seriously, eyes boring into you.

You nod, pulling your shirt over your head in understanding. “I know” you reply quietly.

Miguel comes to stand in front of you. He looks down at you once again, hand coming up to caress your face lovingly.

“I really am sorry, I don’t even know where to begin, I’ll be apologizing for the rest of my life if I have to” you hear the genuine sincerity and apologeticness in his voice. It brings you a sort of relief, to know the Miguel you knew before all of this was still there.

“And I’m completely in love with you if you couldn’t already tell,” he says humorously, bringing a little more light to the conversation. You laugh softly before bringing your hand up to the one he has on your face, interlacing your fingers.

“I love you too if you couldn’t already tell,” you say honestly, a hint of teasing in your voice. Miguel laughs again, eyes yearning for you as he comes to understand just how lucky he truly is. He had a long way to go, but he was willing to do whatever it took if it resulted in your happiness and forgiveness.

-

The following day, you woke up with your heart feeling a little lighter. Peter had suggested the two of you get breakfast, insisting he meet you at your door so the two of you could walk together. The action was a little out of the ordinary if you were being honest, but you didn’t think too much of it.

Your head is down as you walk into the meal space, getting distracted by a noise your multidimensional watch keeps making. When you finally look up, you’re met with the faces of the entirety of the Spider Society. A huge “Happy Birthday” banner with your name is hanging from the ceiling, and there are tables and tables of food and sweets all over.

Your face breaks out in a smile. Yes, your birthday was 2 weeks ago, but the gesture was nice nonetheless. You look at Peter, who’s smiling back at you.

“So? What do you think?” he yells over the loud cheering the space now holds.

You laugh, unable to stop smiling, “This is great, what is this?” you yell back.

“Miguel organized it, I helped, of course. He said something about ‘winning you back’, you should probably go find him” he explains, leading you farther into the space.

The amount of “happy birthdays” you hear is insane. You look around the room, spotting multiple violations of Miguel’s safety rules that on any other given day, would’ve driven him insane. You smile, reveling in just how much he cares about you.

You spot Miguel across the room, and you walk, making your way up to him.

“Hey,” you say softly, “You planned this?” the huge smile is still evident on your face. He looks at you, admiring just how beautiful you are, before returning your smile.

“With a little help,” he replies, humor in his voice. His heart warm at how delighted you look.

“This is insane Miguel” You look around the room once more, before looking back at him, “Thank you,” you say.

He gives you another tender smile before grinning, “Just wait till you see what I have planned for your half-birthday”

The confession takes you by pleasant surprise, “My half-birthday?” you laugh, “Miguel, no one celebrates those”

“Guess we’ll be the first” he teases

You smile once again, “Thank you,” you say sincerely.

“Am I forgiven yet?” he jokes, looking down at you.

You smile, peering up at him, “You’re getting there, I still need my daily coffees”

He laughs, “Good enough” he replies, and the two of you turn away, looking back at the crowd.

You’re first to break the silence, and you turn back to him.

“Miguel?” you ask. He looks at you, a small smile still plastered on his face, always happy to hear your voice.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to need my job back.”

-

tags: @happishark @prettysbliss @thel0velykey190 @saltykidcreation @chabelis @coffee-winter-and-silence @thesecretwriter @bitterprecious @leahnicole1219 @kyler11718

(just tagged everybody who commented)

[peachysunrize]

One thing that I find really wasteful is how they basically threw the Prince Regent storyline down the drain. If their intention was to show Aemond’s descent into pure evil, they could have at least given us something. Like, shown him wearing a crown, sitting on the Iron Throne, holding court. All the Dark Prince vibes. But what does he actually do? He leads a couple of council meetings while Alicent has her Eat, pray, love moment. He orders to remove the rat catchers (thank goodness, since them being hung was haunting the narrative more than poor Jaehaerys’ death), fires Alicent (a wise decision, given her selling them all out in the season finale), calls Larys a toad (iconic), and tried to single-handedly run a war that is putting his entire family’s life at risk but that no one except Cole and Gwayne seem to care about. So what did he do that was so bad, considering the context of the world the series is set in and the fact that they're at war? The people blame him for the blockade that Nyra has put in place (the scene with the food boats, Hunger Games’ sponsors style is RIDICULOUS). The fact that he doesn't treat Helaena like she's made of glass and thinks she wants to fight, since she's a rider despite what Nyra says, and considering her son was slaughtered, makes perfect sense. The only two times Aemond actually acts as a villain is towards Aegon and when he burns the village. I don't excuse his behavior towards Aegon, but as for the village the writers didn't bother to give us any context. But, assuming the village was actively helping Nyra, well… it’s gone, cry me a river. This a medieval civil war and the lives of everyone in Aemond's family are at stake. The fact that the narrative continues to cast Nyra as a literal saint because she keeps procrastinating (even though she does want to put her ass on the throne) and everything she does is a whoopsie daisy, while Aemond is the boogieman because his actions make sense in the context of the war is just bad writing.

End of rant. Sorry, but all the antis in Aemond's tag who see Daemon as a hero and can't wait for him to kill him pissed me off 😭

Oh no lovey it’s okay!!! Rant all you want here<33

I totally understand that!!! I’ve been saying this since the whole “Aemond is a dark ass villain” hate train started and it’s still pisses me off because this “villain” people are hating on hasn’t done anything?? Like NOTHING?? I’m not excusing his actions towards Aegon but if we got him doing something pure evil FOR HIS PLEASURE AND SATISFACTION then I’d be more than willing to call him a villain

But now he’s burnt a village with no context, we don’t know what he thinks, we just know he is “evil and sick” for not treating Helaena like a child and actually sees potential in her.

Like bffr writers! How am I and other Aemond wives to hate on him when we don’t know ANYTHING about him??? How can I hate him when he is the only one alongside Daeron, Cole & Gwayne that wants to survive this war!!!??? He said it himself it’s not about the throne anymore it’s their lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[opreaadriann]

Weekly Update - September 29, 2024

Hello, revengers! A bad update this time around. I got absolutely nothing done. Why? Well, you probably don’t care about my excuses but I’ve had one of the worst weeks ever, thanks to British Airways.

I was supposed to take a flight to Canada and was stuck in a plane that didn’t leave the airport for 7 hours without any proper food. Once they kicked us out of the plane, they left us without any hotel or explanation at 2 AM in the middle of London. I ended up just going back to my home country after buying some very expensive tickets. This resulted in me being literally dead for a few days, as I spent around 48 hours with just 3-4 hours of sleep. So, um, sorry again, I’ll get back on the grind once my body comes out of hibernation, but I’ve just been taking a huge break from everything, even work.

Changing the subject, I’ve managed to hire 4 artists for a little competition where they’ll draw my MC for the game. We’ll do a big poll and I’ll want you guys to vote on who should start drawing art of the characters every month on Patreon. Two of them are already done, I’m waiting on the other half right now. Most likely we’ll do this contest next weekend.

I’ll also likely make the Discord for the HSR public next week, keeping just the Patreon content locked away, just so I can start seeing more of your guys’ opinions more often.

Thanks for listening to me rant and talk about stuff that doesn’t really advance the speed at which I’ll finish the game. See ya next week!

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

i’ve been waiting for people to realize azriel was a terrible person since last december. he reblogged a callout post (full of false accusations about zoophillia and stuff, as per usual) and then just DUMPED this huge rant about how incest fanfiction made him think it was okay to kiss his brother when he was 14.

no i’m not joking. obviously i can’t put a link here but: tumblr dot com / azrielfiend / 737002511661187072/tws-for-a-much-of-stuff-im-reblogging-again-but

just remove the dots and spaces and it’ll take you to the post, but in case you don’t want to, a DIRECT QUOTE from it is: “proshipping influenced me SO much that i almost (romantically and unconsensually) kissed my brother on the lips before my dad stopped me. speaking of my dad, i had intrusive thoughts about him and having crushes on him too.”

it just goes to show that this guy is fr not okay. even at 14, all the incest fanfiction in the WORLD could make me EVER make me think that incest is okay?? you couldn’t waterboard that info out of me either idk why he just randomly decided to dump that shit on some post like that (probably for pity points and to get attention…)

looking at it, and btw for anyone that doesn't know, you HAVE TO make your stuff screenreader accessible, not just because someone else might need it, but because if you ever need it for whatever reason, even for a bit (like after an eye surgery) it sucks to not be able to read what you've written.

especially when in tags, it makes it worse since people who wish to avoid those things can't when you do stuff like put zeros instead of an O, or a 4 instead of an r.

this is just a massive pet peeve of mine, but I read stuff like this and wonder why they are even censoring it like that?

read it and uh.

no yeah, no. ok no what I see what you mean, holy fuck. I mean way to sacrifice yourself to make a point there but damn.

"that sentence is also ableist because it assumes everyone can just tell it apart easily and youre dumb for not being able to."

uh, eh, ah. ok, I mean like. ok???? in that case, don't read it??? what

"i cant rest easy knowing proshippers would influenced kids like how they influeneced me in the past. its haunting, if you say this isnt harmful. then youre surely mistaken. im done. do not argue me on this im just so upset people are defending moonstone."

I think this just you, honestly???

I'm sorry but what the fuck did I just read

huh. that sure was a take & the half

I don't think this was developed because you were in the proshipping community, I just think you had incestuous thoughts about your brother and father? and then tried rationalizing why you did that as being convinced to do so because of proshipping. (even though most proshippers, not all, but most will tell you to not fuck your family, and instead read stuff about it instead or something) instead of realizing that maybe you just wanted to kiss your brother and were looking for an excuse.

this is all on you probably?

like you don't just get thoughts like that from outside sources. that comes from you.

but also at the same time, I don't know the situation, so who knows.

like it's fine to have incestuous thoughts and all, alot of people do. but the problem is acting on them... especially when it's non-consensual...

you have to work through them, not work for them.

well that was interesting

[starglow-xx]

time for a brainrot!💭 - blue lock edition (2)

i’ve been messing around with a random prompt generator once again and once again i am suffering so im dragging yall with me again

but this time instead for my beloved egoist isagi yoichi, @sonder-paradise has me brainrotting for blue lock’s beloved princess chigiri hyoma,, so ariel, i blame you

imagine being a florist! reader meeting chigiri at the flower shop you work in because his sister sent him of all people to go buy flowers to brighten up her new apartment

the long haired football player doesn’t notice you at first but you do the moment he walks in and you’re smitten

bc how can someone look that pretty??

well it’s certainly possible bc the evidence is right in front of you

wait.

he’s right in front of you?!

you yelp slightly taken back by chigiri’s sudden presence right in front of you, but he’s unfazed and simply asks for what would match with his sister’s aesthetic

you blush and you blink but your at first averting eyes suddenly start to gleam taking chigiri by surprise

you spiral into a rant about possible flower combos even adding comments on their meanings and origins and chigiri is taken back because one, he wasn’t expecting that and two, why were you kinda cute

while at first chigiri was unwilling to do his sister’s task and had wanted to get out as soon as possible, he doesn’t stop you and lets you go off on a tangent nodding and letting out hums hear and there to show that he was listening (well at least trying to; it was kind of hard to keep up with you)

but then all of sudden you just stop and chigiri blinks as he watches your face erupt in a furious blush and then you tangent on about being sorry for rambling in the first place, taking up too much of his time, not doing your job, and again he found it hard to keep up with you

you dashed off saying something about making his bouquet and while confused he couldn’t help but smile

it isn’t often that he was the one left in the dust after all

im currently obsessing over a now smitten! chigiri who comes back every week after that with the excuse of buying more flowers for his sister

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who as much as possible tries to avoid having to tell his sister why all of a sudden, while appreciated, keeps bringing her flowers for her apartment, trying to dissect the reason as to why his cheeks are a little pink when she asks

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who manages to turn small talk blossom into an eventual friendship

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who watches as you lead him through the store talking about new displays of flowers you made for the day taking in how your eyes sparkle, how your hair seems to shine in the sun, and how you just seem to glow

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who takes extra time in taking care of his hair and how his styles it the days he goes to see you after a smitten! you accidentally slipped you liked his hair one time (more than one time, but for your sake he’ll pretend it was only once; after all he can tease you when you’re finally his)

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri, while definitely one of the more quieter ones among his friend group, still has a big ass ego just like them and revels when your face is as red as his hair, especially when he’s the cause

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who is maybe a little lovesick but is also as smug as ever and smirks always thinking about the one time he pulled a fast one while helping you cut and prepare a display of roses, slips one onto your ear, enjoying your face explode into color

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who finally finally decides it’s time to tell you how he feels and what better way than to tell you in a language you’re quite fluent in??

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who steals your breath away walking in one day with a beautiful bouquet filled with carnations, peonies, and different flowers in different colors all of which point to romance or love or adoration

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chirigi who smiles gently when you flush as your eyes zero in on the red roses; a symbol of love and passion.

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who’s face also begins to turn pink when you shyly bring out a flower crown, a lovely flower crown you undoubtedly made just for him to put in his hair, no one else’s

a lovely flower crown made just for him that’s also full of flowers that point to wanting more than the friendship the two of you have grown and cultivated for a few weeks now

can’t stop thinking about a smitten! chigiri who once again takes in your beauty in the natural sun and the look in your eyes as you carefully place the crown on his head making sure to not tangle his hair, the bouquet he made for you on the side

can’t stop thinking about a now bf! chigiri who visits his sister the next day thanking her for sending him to buy flowers when she just moved in having a knowing smile as she looks at him confusedly

can’t stop thinking about bf! chigiri who has his lock screen as the selfie the two of you took only yesterday, flower crown on his head, bouquet in your hands, a gleeful smile on your face and a soft and affectionate one on his

can’t stop thinking about bf! chigiri who hopes your relationship will bloom into something just as beautiful as the flowers you put on display

so yeah can’t stop thinking about a florist! reader and a smitten! turned bf! chigiri

YALL I LITERALLY COULD NOT STOP WRITING FOR THIS ONE I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL😭

[winter-sol]

still with you

word count: 1,5k pairing: GN! reader / Leviathan contents: GN reader, SFW. angst and loneliness.

After MC time travels in Nightbringer, they find themselves longing for their loved one's presence and affection. But in the past, things are different, and their relationship with Leviathan is not the same.

Short angsty one-shot. uwu. also at ao3 here ♥

For some reason, the walls of the corridor seem endless today. Your pace is slow, you’re not in a hurry since his invitation pointed at you to come exactly at 10:20 pm. You were ready to end your day and rest at Cocytus Hall, but apparently this new DLC for a game of his promised to be really good and he wanted to try it with a second player because “It’s not like I’m asking you to play with me, ok? I only need a partner. Though, not that kind of partner!”.

That was slightly nostalgic, but also oddly… disheartening. For him to be so ambiguous and nervous again.

That’s the way things are right now. May as well do something about it and not just keep him at arm length. You could never, not when you miss him so much, even if you see him every day.

…

“Hey! Another victory for me, LOL, you suck at this game, MC.”

“I- Ah! It’s not fair, you’ve played this one much more than I have!”

“Nope. No excuses, hehehe.”

Yes, you lost again, but not that you really care. You barely know this game, and to be honest, it’s not becoming one of your favorites. Leviathan is a pro at basically every game he lays a finger on, statistically speaking, yes, you were going to lose.

But to think you’d be able to play this game one day… In the present, as he told you once, it had been discontinued for a couple hundred years.

It’s hard to believe, but that’s the reality you had to accept.

The screen is passing some cutscenes recapitulating the fight both of your characters went through, the loud music turning into background noise as your attention has gone to the aquarium. It lacks a certain member. But so do many things in this room, in this house.

Most of them look the same, though. Turns out that the House of Lamentation and every room have looked the way you remember them since the beginning, with small adaptations of course. But you can’t decide if it’s better or worse, to see it all look the same but for everything to be that different.

“…in there… that kick… was not…”

…

Even that voice. It’s the same tone, the same color. It’s as soothing and pretty as ever. But it’s not his voice. It’s not… your Levi.

“… even there?... MC…”

Of course he is, and you know you’ll fall in love with him again (if you aren’t already), and with enough luck he may fall in love with you too. But it’s not the same…

Right?

“MC?”

Shit.

What.

“What? Ahh… Sorry, I got distracted. You were saying?”

“Oh. Don’t worry” A short pause, and he adds in a fast speech. “I’m not boring you, right?”

Ah…

Ah.

You haven’t heard that one in a while, since before you two were a thing. In the present, that is.

“No, of course not. Sorry, I’ve been kinda spaced out today.”

“Oh, s-sure! Uhmmm…” Another moment of silence, a bit more tense. “I’ll go grab some drinks! I think we finished the last can of soda. Uhm, I’ll be right back, stay here!”

“Ok.”

Clearly uncomfortable, Leviathan stands and hurriedly leaves his room, leaving you there to wait for him.

Even this awkwardness… It’s been so long since Levi felt that way with you. You two had come a long way, from the demon who tried to kill you for losing a stupid quiz, to your friend, to your best friend, and to your lover.

And now, it’s like everything simply was taken away from you. And you can’t do anything about it, not for now. You can’t even confide in him; share the pain you’re going through like you used to with all your concerns and burdens in the present.

You can’t snuggle with him in his bathtub, closed space making you stay too close to each other while one of you rants about their day, about the council, the exams, the other brothers, about anything and everything.

You can’t hide beneath the covers of your bed when it’s too cold and text him to come with you, to spend the night with you so he can warm you up. To fall asleep in his arms, with the dim lights of the tree and the heat emanating from his body lulling you into your dreams.  Such a simple act, to cherish his company just because you can, just because you want to.

But now, you can only look at the bathtub you forced him to accommodate for you in the present, unable to even think about stepping a foot in it.

You can only look at the similar lights you’ve placed in your new room every night, looking for a sense of familiarity, before you cry yourself to sleep.

…

Suddenly overwhelmed, you close your eyes.

A strange wave of sadness makes its way into your brain and your heart.

Can you even take this? Deal with this for who knows how long?

How is he even doing in the present? Does he somehow know you’re in here? Or is he worried, anxious and depressed at your disappearance?

He always worries a bit too much, let his thoughts go to the darkest places, expecting the worst. If only there was a way to send him a message, to let him know you’re ok, that you’re right here by his side, even if it’s not the same, even if his past self has no idea who you actually are.

It’s such a lonely concept, to be in the same place as your loved ones, but for them to be unable to see you. You love all of them, in different ways, but you do. You long for those days where everything was lively and chaotic, and they were your family, and you were theirs.

You open your eyes before you let your thoughts consume you.

Right now, there’s nothing you can do but stay right there for them, right there where they need you, and hope you can be a positive presence for them again. For now, you can only confide in Solomon, and that gives some peace to your heart.

But still, if only…

As if on cue, Leviathan enters the room carrying a bunch of cans in his arms.

“Hey! I’m back. Oh? That’s still on the screen?” He points out at the same sequence repeating, clearly indicating you hadn’t touched the game since he left.

“Ah, yeah, well, since I don’t know the game at all, I didn’t want to press anything and mess it up.” You tell him that instead of saying something like ‘I’m so sad I forgot it was even there in the first place.’ He doesn’t need to know.

“Right. Don’t worry, I’ll press it. Here. Also, I brought these ones, do you like that flavor? I heard it’s popular in here.”

You honestly have no idea what flavor of soda that is, as it doesn’t exist anymore in the present. But you can’t tell the truth since you’re supposed to be a native demon.

“It’s ok, but I prefer that other one”.

“Sure! Take it!”

He seems fine now, not uncomfortable anymore so you hide your true feelings at the back of your heart and end up playing again with him.

You guess you can’t really complain, you’re right here by your beloved demon’s side, enjoying your time together. Hopefully, Leviathan will remember a that certain someone used to spend time with him in the past, and that he was never truly alone during such hard times.

You look at his face and you can notice how bright he looks. He’s enjoying his game, laughing, making jokes, trying to sound cocky but ending up teaching you a few tricks. This scene where both of you are sitting right here, in this place, it’s so familiar. It’s nice. He’s happy with you.

He’s still the same, so you shouldn’t be sad, right?

…

“That was so cool, you got really good at this, you know?”

“Meh, I guess it’s thanks to you. You gave me all those tips. Also, who wouldn’t get better with such a handsome and cool Player 1, right?”

“MC, shut up! Hahaha.”

He laughs and tries to hide his blushed expression at the flirty comment you just threw at him. After he notices you smiling as well, he circles his arms even tighter around you, pressing his head on your shoulder, and gives you a tender kiss on your cheek.

“MC… Don’t ever leave me, ok?”

That was slightly unexpected, but you notice a sweet warmth enveloping you at his honest words.

“Idiot. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, you’ll end up looking for ways to get rid of me.”

“-! No, don’t say that! I would never!”

You only smiled and kissed his lips, reassuring him you won’t leave, not if you can help it.

That was a conversation you two had one lazy afternoon, in the same place you are right now.

But he was behind you, holding you tight against his chest while you played some stupid game together. You were loved by him, not trying to get his trust and friendship all over again.

Turns out you didn’t keep your word. You weren't powerful enough.

What a joke of a sorcerer.

likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated! ♥ also, if you want to talk and share your ideas feel free to hit the ask button ;)

thanks for reading ♥

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XIX: Time Marches On

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a/n: i can’t apologize enough for leaving yall hanging like that. this chapter is short but i have plans to finish this entire fic, don’t you worry. this is barely proofread i needed to get it posted SORRY!!!!

tags: rockstar!eddie x rockstar!reader, adult content, slight nsfw in beginning, angst, estranged lovers

summary: you and eddie spend a night out

—

Spring 1991

Eddie’s POV

“Hi, I’m Eddie. I’m an alcoholic and an addict.”

“Hi, Eddie.”

“I’ve been clean for about a week now, but it’s been hard. I’ve lost a lot of respect for myself over the last year, and I’m ready to confront that.” The circle of fellow AA members listen respectfully as Eddie rants about the last few months, excluding you from the memory as much as he can.

Finally, someone speaks up. “Do you think this ex of yours would help or hurt your journey?”

Eddie shakes his head sadly. “I don’t know anymore, really. I don’t want to think about that right now.”

—

Your POV

You shouldn’t. To say yes to him would be stupid, damaging, confusing, and stupid. But god, you want to say yes. Though you’ve barely had a drop to drink, your brain is fuzzy, clouded with intoxication, drunk off Eddie’s kiss. His hand is frozen on the elastic waistband of his borrowed boxers, not moving an inch in either direction as he waits for your response.

“Eddie,” You sigh, stalling.

“We don’t have to. I get it. We shouldn’t.”

“It’s gonna hurt us both,”

“Destroy all the progress we’ve made.”

You wince. The more you say about it, the less you can excuse just how stupid it would be. “I don’t think we should. I want to, believe me. But there’s so much to unpack, so much I need to think about. I can’t have you swaying my bias.” You try to make a joke, to get that sad scowl off of Eddie’s lips. He looks up at you, head still level with your naked chest.

“I totally understand.” He nods, shifting to lay back on his side, and you frown at the sudden loss of his warmth.

“Do you want me to go?” You’re suddenly shy. Rejecting a man, Eddie or otherwise, always feels like a trap.

“Only if you want.” There’s no anger, no hurt in his voice, he’s perfectly neutral. His big, pretty eyes scan over your body slowly, but they’re not hungry. It’s as if he’s trying to commit your form to memory, like he knows he won’t be seeing it again.

“I don’t want.”

Eddie snickers, the ice cracking. “Okay. But if you’re stayin’,”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll put a shirt on.” You swing your arm over the edge of the bed, blindly feeling until you grab the fabric in your fist. You feel Eddie’s eyes still on you as you pull his shirt back over your head, wishing you’d been willing to risk it all.

-

Eddie’s POV

“I’m sorry.” He blurts it as you’re tucking yourself further under the covers. “That wasn’t fair. I shouldn’t have even thought to do that.” He tries to read your expression in the dim lamp light, but it’s like you’re speaking a foreign language. “I just, y’know, miss you. I got carried away. I just dumped this huge thing on you then tried to fuck you!” You startle at his exclamation. “God what a manipulative, shitty-“

“Eddie?” You interrupt, and he snaps his mouth shut. “Shut up.” He nods feverishly, miming zipping his lips. “I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions, good or bad. I wanted to, I want to, just as much as you do. Regardless of what you could have said to me, I would have wanted to.” You caress his cheek, and he revels in your touch, no matter how small. “Just give me a little time.”

He perks up at that. Time? As in, the future? As in, there’s a chance? “Time.”

You nod, scooting your body even closer to his, tangling your legs with his, wrapping yourself around him like a possessed vine. In the crook of his neck, you rest your head, and Eddie closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling. He’ll wait for you, as long as he needs to. With each exhale of yours into his neck, he feels himself drift further into sleep, just as your breathing evens out, your weight a comfort on top of him.

—

He wakes up, and you’re gone. Where you’d once lay now hosts a folded piece of torn notebook paper, Eddie’s name scrawled in your handwriting on the front. It’s a short note, but Eddie reads it over and over as he rubs the sleep from his eyes.

Eds,

Thank you for last night, every second of it. I miss you too, desperately, but we need time. I hope you’re willing to wait for us.

I left early before Mama Steve could see us, would’ve said goodbye but you looked so peaceful, so I'll settle for seeing you later. Thanks for letting me find you.

Love,

Y/n

Eddie feels his cheeks burn with each reread. Love. Love love love. LOVE!!!!!! He’s giddy, feeling like a fuckin’ teenager being asked to be your Valentine, or some shit. It puts an unreasonable amount of pep in his step for being so early in the morning. For once, he’s not hungover, not craving a drop. He wants to see you, though, more than anything. “Chill out, Munson. Steel yourself.” Eddie collects his belongings, stuffing them into his duffle before throwing the door open to meet everyone for breakfast.

—

He spots you, looking past the rest of the crew to where you’re sitting with Robin, talking animatedly as she shoves bacon into her mouth. Robin looks entranced, and Eddie can only assume you’re catching her up on last night’s events, and his cheeks burn at the thought.

You spot him approaching, regarding him with a shy wave as he yanks a chair up next to you. “Good morning,” he greets you, then Robin, attempting to keep his voice from shaking with nerves. Something about seeing you now, after what almost happened, has Eddie sweating with nerves.

“Good morning!” Robin chirps, far too perky for this hour. “We were just talking about, um,” She can’t come up with a lie fast enough, and darts her eyes to you for help.

You only roll your own. “Real subtle, Rob.”

“You know I’m awful under pressure!”

“You could’ve just kept it at ‘good morning’!” You turn to face Eddie, your face still soft from sleep, tired from the nights on the road. “Sorry,” you say meekly, “I needed to talk to someone. Unfortunately my best friend has no qualms about her blabbermouth!”

Robin scoffs in mock offense. “This is so not my fault, you-“

“If I may,” Eddie interrupts, “It doesn’t bother me at all. I would tell everyone I knew, if I could.”

This causes Robin to turn on him. “So, why don’t you?”

“Uh, well, it’s complicated,” Eddie starts, scratching his head anxiously. “I don’t exactly know what it is we’re doing, it’s nothing I can explain at this point in time really, there’s a lot that-“

“Boo!” Robin interrupts, throwing Eddie a thumbs down gesture. “We all know you two are in love, isn’t that all that matters?!”

“Whoa!” Eddie exclaims at the same time you shriek, “Robin!” causing her to startle.

“What? I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” You shove yourself from the table, abandoning your half eaten pancakes. “I’m gonna go help load the buses. Enjoy the rest of your breakfast. Eddie,” He looks up to where you’re standing, immediately losing himself in your pretty eyes. “I’ll uh, see you later.” And before he can respond you’re hustling out of the hotel.

Eddie turns back to Robin, eyes narrowing at her. “What the hell was that?”

“What?!” She questions through a mouth stuffed with waffle.

“Why would you say that? As if I haven’t scared her enough already, you had to drop the L word on them?!”

Robin swallows thickly before responding, “Hey. I have no clue what else you’ve told them, they don’t tell me everything believe it or not. All I know is that you almost hooked up last night, but didn’t. They didn’t tell me why not, and I asked! But it’s pretty fuckin clear you both wanted to, so of course I’m dying to know why.”

“I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough.”

“They said it was up to you to tell me.” Robin crossed her arms over her chest.

Eddie shrugs. “It’s not something I need everyone to know. I promise you’re not missing out on anything.”

Robin only groans, and shoves another buttery bite into her mouth.

—

Your POV

Steve is double checking his list when you approach him in front of the buses. “Mornin’ sunshine,” You greet him, wrapping your arms around the middle of his stiff torso. “How ya doin’?”

Steve wraps one arm around your shoulders, the other still holding his clipboard. “I’m alright, we’re almost ready to go. You weren’t in your room this morning, you okay?”

You sigh, letting him from your grasp. “I’m good, yeah. There’s some stuff I wanna talk to you about, though.”

“Yeah?” Steve drops his clipboard to his side, turning to face you. “I’m all ears.”

“I uh, well. Eddie and I talked,” you pause, heeding his reaction, but Steve only nods for you to go on. “He told me everything. About New Years, about the meetings,” you watch as Steve catches on to what you’re saying. “He’s getting better, or he says he is. He didn’t drink last night, hasn’t used in weeks. He told me you saved his life.”

Steve gives you a shy smile. “He said that?”

You nod, feeling your own smile widen. “He’s surprised you aren’t bragging to anyone who’ll listen. It’s a huge thing, saving the life of a rockstar.”

Steve shoves you playfully. “Hey, who do you think I am? Like I’m gonna go around parading the fact that my best friend tried to kill himself. I’m not a monster.”

You laugh at his defense. “No, of course not! I just. I guess I still have questions.” Steve gives you a questioning look. “I didn’t see him at his worst, but you did. You watched him fall apart when it should have been me.” You shake your head sadly, unable to look at your friend.

“Y/n, I need you to get a grip.” His tone startles you, and you snap your head up to look at him.

“Excuse me?”

“This isn’t your pity party! You just learned something so serious, so important about the guy you’re clearly in love with, and your first instinct is to wish you’d been the one calling the ambulance?!” The anger in his tone stings your cheeks with embarrassment. He’s right. “I get it, I know that time wasn’t easy for you, either. But you had no way of knowing. You stopped calling him, stopped talking about him altogether.”

“Are you saying this is my fault?!” You’re angry now, too. “Eddie is a grown up, he makes his own decisions, don’t you dare try insinuating it’s my fault he was using.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut in concentration. “No. No, that’s not what I’m saying. Of course it’s not your fault, but Eddie’s an impulsive guy, with little to no critical thinking skills. He’s not gonna think every little thing through.”

You sigh, defeated. “I just don’t know what to do from here.”

Steve rests a hand on your shoulder, like a dad about to drop a birds and bees talk on his teenager. “Whatever you want.”

“What?”

He shrugs. “You know everything now, right? What’s left?”

“A lot, actually.”

“Like?”

“Like, how do I make sure this doesn’t happen again? How do I trust him? How do I trust myself?”

“Okay, slow down. No one has those answers. You know that, right? You’re never gonna know what you’re capable of until you try. You gotta put the work in.”

You look at your friend quizzically. “Where’d you get all this relationship wisdom? Last I checked, you’re still a bachelor!”

He blushes at the mention. “I may or may not be seeing someone”

“Steve!” You shove him, and he stumbles. “How dare you keep this secret from me?!”

“Sorry! I wanted to tell you but, you’ve been preoccupied!”

It’s not a dig, but you pout at him. “I have been, huh. I’m sorry, I haven’t been that great of a friend lately.

“Hey I get it, I wouldn’t be either if I had the hots for Eddie.”

“What do you mean if?”

It’s Steve’s turn to shove you, sparking a brief wrestling match that ends with him in a headlock.

Steve throws his arm around you again. “You know. You really do drive me nuts. But I put up with it because I love you.”

“I love you too, Stevie.”

“So, what’s the plan now?”

God, what a loaded question. “Guess we’ll find out!” Steve groans, and you cackle before hugging him a third time.

—

You have a few days off in Philadelphia, and you’re ecstatic. There are tattoo shops, record stores, and endless options for good food in the city, and you’re excited to explore it all. The only problem, though, is the person you want to explore with.

“Eddie, over here!” “Right here, Eddie!” “How’s tour treating you?” “Partying hard?” The paps swarm him and his band, seemingly ignoring your presence right behind them. “Great work on the new album, Eddie.” “What was the inspiration behind Sweetheart?!” The questions are shallow, excuses to keep snapping pictures of the front man as he shields his eyes.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate it. You gotta go, though. My manager’s gonna be pissed.” He laughs nervously, and you fight the urge to catch up to him. “Hope you’ll come see us on Friday.” He adds half heartedly, and eventually they stop following, letting him, as well as the rest of you, to enter the hotel without further disturbance.

Steve makes a bee line for the front desk, leaving you and your bandmates to wait with Corroded Coffin in the lobby. You stand next to Eddie, not too closely to draw attention, but close enough to feel the tension in his shoulders. “Hi.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but Eddie hears you.

“Hey.”

“You alright?”

He shrugs. “Just stressed.”

“You wanna go out when we get settled? There’s some stuff I wanna check out.”

He nods, a wordless agreement, and you nod back. Steve comes back with the room assignments, and you have one to yourself for the weekend. For now, at least. You have a lingering feeling you won’t get much time alone.

—

Eddie’s POV

He waits outside the hotel, a cigarette hanging in his mouth as he watches the nightlife around him. Kids on their way to bars, to clubs, giggling and shouting without a care in the world. Some teens crossing the street do a double take as they pass him, and he hears them talking. “Guys seriously, that was him! That’s Eddie.” He chuckles to himself, still finding himself shocked that people know who he is.

“Hey, you ready?” You step out of the hotel door, onto the sidewalk next to him. You’re in street clothes, a pair of high waisted jeans and a tucked in Bikini Kill shirt, your hair tied up on your head.

Eddie nods, and takes up stride next to you as you lead the way down the street. At first, neither of you speak, letting the silence weigh on top of you as you find your footing. It’s not long though before Eddie can’t take it.

“Where are we going?”

You shrug, like it wasn’t your idea to go out. “There’s a secret show here tonight. It’s way low key, but Robin heard through the grapevine from a very reputable source.” Your words make him nervous. Something about a night out with you makes his skin vibrate. You lead him down another side street, and outside a dive bar, a line is forming, mostly of people around the same age as you and Eddie, mostly wearing what looked to Eddie like his wardrobe in high school. He tries to read a few of the shirts, but nothing is visible enough to give away who this band might be.

You get up to the front of the line, and the bouncer doesn’t even bother asking for an ID. “Wow, Y/n L/n and Eddie Munson. Wasn’t sure if you’d show!” Despite the bouncer’s size, his voice is gentle, kind. He gives you and Eddie a wave as he unclips the red rope, the only obstacle between the street and the store.

“Who are we seeing?” Eddie half yells so you can hear him over the music, following closely behind as you slither your way to the stage.

“You’ll see!” You tease. “I’m surprised you didn’t know about this!” You reach the stage, where guitars and a drum kit are waiting to be played. “Figured you’d be the one telling me about it, actually.” You head to the bar and order yourself a drink, not bothering to ask Eddie if he wants anything.

“You wanna give me a hint?”

You shake your head, straw wiggling in the glass as you sip. “It’s better as a surprise.” You wink at him, and he follows your lead to the stage as the lights dim.

Before anyone sets foot on stage, Eddie’s heart jolts. He recognizes the drum kit somehow, and he feels the knot in his throat tighten. No fucking way. The overhead speakers buzz before a recorded voice announces, Hole In The Wall Club would like to thank its sponsors for putting tonight’s event on. Please remember there is no flash photography inside the venue, no smoking, and absolutely no crowd surfing. Then a loud, electrifying applause rattles the room as Metallica set foot on what is probably the smallest stage they’ve been on in years.

“No fucking way.” Eddie says more to himself, but you look up at him, beaming. “No goddamn fucking way!”

“Surprise!” You giggle, and Eddie has to fight the urge to kiss you right there. You’re right, he should have known about this, but he’d been so distracted by the person in front of him he could barely retain anything else.

They open with For Whom The Bell Tolls, and Eddie launches himself into the mosh pit, limbs vibrating with excitement. You’re close behind, drink splashing as you jump around with him.

—

so so very sorry for how much time has passed since the last chapter. i won’t promise to update regularly but i definitely haven’t forgotten!

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[drewsbuzzcut]

Nothing Like The Rain

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses blurb

warnings: none that i can think of

The rain was coming down strong. You could hear it thumping against the roof of the bar you were in; the music doing nothing to conceal just how strong the storm was outside. Although the atmosphere in the bar was satisfying, and you were having a good time with your friends, you were ready to get home. You also weren’t going to risk the rain getting worse than what it already was.

Saying a quick goodbye to your friends with a promise of getting dinner sometime during the week, you gather your belongings and head to the exit.

As soon as you’re getting out the door, you end up crashing into something hard. That something hard ended up being the chest of a tall man with beautiful hair and even more beautiful eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” you and the handsome man said at the same time.

You giggle and apologize once again, “Sorry. I’m in such a hurry to get out of here. I should’ve been paying attention to what’s in front of me.”

“It’s all good,” the man said with a small smirk. You both were just stuck looking at each other until someone behind the man cleared their throat.

You jumped out of your haze and said a quick excuse me with a small smile before heading out the door.

Feeling a bit flustered about the encounter, you wanted a quick escape.

What you didn’t see because your back was to the bar, was the man excusing himself from his friends and trying to catch up with you. Good thing you weren’t that far.

“Hey… hey,” the man was now in front of you.

“…hi,” you answered back.

“Sorry. This is so random and kind of weird, but you’re just really beautiful and I just needed to talk to you more,” he said in one breath.

You shyly smiled. The rain pelting down on you not mattering anymore.

“Y/n,” you introduce yourself.

“Mat.”

“Nice to meet you,” your eyes are glimmering as the lightning lights up the dark sky.

“You’re leaving the bar early,” mat points out.

“I’ve had a long day. My bed was calling my name and I’m pretty sure my cat is starved. He’s probably cursing my name as we speak,” you say with a playful eye roll.

Your little rant was enough to get a laugh out of mat.

“There’s no way i can convince you to stay?” He hesitantly asks.

You sigh and twirl a strand of your hair around your finger- acting as if you’re thinking about it. “Unless you have some kind of portable bed with you, and can magically feed my cat, i don’t think so,” you tease.

“I guess I’m not better than a bed,” mat teases back.

“I guess not.”

“You’re doing amazing things for my ego,” he replies sarcastically.

“Maybe I can make it up to you,” you offer.

He smiles as if he just achieved greatness and his life is complete, you almost don’t hear what he says, too entranced by the way his long fingers comb through his hair.

“I will give you my number and you can call me whenever you’re free,” mat tells you.

“Deal!”

After getting mat’s phone number and saying goodbye, mat grabs your attention one last time.

“Tell your cat I’m sorry for keeping you occupied,” mat says with a bright smile.

You laugh and nod your head.

During your trek home the whole conversation is on rerun in your head and you can’t stop the little giggle that comes out you. You were so taken back with mat and you couldn’t wait to put his number to use. The thought of sleep was far from your mind now.

You didn’t even notice that it had stopped raining.

a/n: hope you enjoyed this little blurb! get ready for more of y/n and mat!!

[dandelion-system]

Ok so this is going to sound ridiculous when you first eat it but stay with me.

I’m angry that my mum won’t let me talk to her about Madoka magica.

Okay, I hear you. “What an entitled brat! She’s probably busy, don’t force her to listen to your rants about a tv show!” And okay. Yeah, it sounds bad without context. So here’s the context.

My mum calls me into her room to talk about getting some birthday presents for my brother. I tell her I got him a plushie of his favourite character from an anime she’s watched with him. I say ‘I would like to watch it with you, because I feel like I’m missing out on something’. I *dont* want to watch it. But I do want the connection they have over it. I want to be a part of that. She tells me how she never usually cries at animated shows, but this one really got to her because the characters were so fleshed out and the emotions felt so real. And I realise- I know an anime like that. One I’ve enjoyed and want to share. So I say ‘maybe you can watch Madoka magica with me and my brother!’

My brother introduced me to pmmm. I really enjoyed it, especially as an art/film student. I really think that she would at least see the artistic merit in watching it. But I watch her face contort and I realise that it’s happening again. It’s the same face she’s always made when I’ve tried to tell her about shows I’ve watched, books I’ve read, projects I’m working on. She doesn’t want to know. So I say, “I’ll get my brother to tell you about it, I won’t explain it as well as he can.” I want to tell her. But I know I can’t. And she replies,

“Oh, I’m sorry, you just talk a lot, and I’m tired and about to go to bed.” Reasonable excuses. I do talk a lot! We would need more time to talk about it, so wait until tomorrow! I start to say goodnight, and she changes the topic. It’s back to her again. Her problems, what she needs to do, what she’s thinking about: I stand up, getting stuffer and in more pain as she talks at me, not to me, because I’m 19 but I’m not paying taxes or getting excited about cleaning products yet, she talks at me for about 30 minutes.

So I realise, with every sentence, that it was an excuse. She didn’t event want to hear me talk about it. She probably won’t try watching it. She wasn’t that tired, she didn’t want to go to bed, there was no reason to tell me to stop talking other than she just didn’t want to hear it. And I had thought, after all this time, she was actually show in a bit more interest in my life! She cared about the things I enjoyed!

No. She’s still drip feeding me poison in the form of cynicism and disbelief in humanity, and rejection at every corner I turn and look for even an ounce of interest.

I’m hurt. I’m sad, and I’ve been switching anyway and dealing with chronic illness she’ll barely acknowledge, and I try to connect with her, and she refuses. And the only way that I don’t start crying on the spot? Or going to cry myself to sleep?

I get angry. I let that hurt turn into that passive,bubbling anger deep inside of me that rots me from the inside out, and make a tumblr post. Because I don’t even have friends to talk to about this. I only have her, and she’s done this.