#I’ve been so busy that making food has been a fucking chore

[soft-twink]

I think I’m finally starting to feel normal 😭

My hunger has been more intense since I returned to the gym and started a new exercise routine. Normal meals haven’t felt like enough lately. I’m literally going to bed feeling peckish because my large serving of mac and cheese for dinner and the bit of chocolate I had as a treat didn’t satiate me.

We are so back 😤

[soapyghostie]

I DIDN'T SEND MORE REQUEST CUS I THOUGHT YOU ALREADY HAD A FULL INBOX, BUT I WONT KEEP YOU WAITING, ask and you shall receive ma'am 😌 Could i please request Bubba and my man Pyramid and what they would think of reader who just loves to make acts of service for them, like cook, clean their weapons/clothes, make the bed or even clean their chambers if they are more bold, y'know, them both really need it! - Pyramid Anon

No worries! I do have a lot of requests to take care of, but you are more than welcome to spend as many as you want! 🤗 Sorry for being absent the past couple of days; I’ve been having some technical difficulties. 😒 Well anyways! Here is your request Pyramid Anon!

Pyramid Head

Pyramid Head is always too busy patrolling for intruders that he doesn’t have time to take care of himself. Why does he need to take care of himself anyways? He’s an immortal humanoid beast. He’ll be just fine… right? 

Well, you don’t give two fucks if he doesn’t need to be taken care of or not: you baby him anyways. At first, it annoys him. He’s the most feared creature in Silent hill! He doesn’t need you to shine his helmet or his knife or wash his clothes: the rustiness and blood gives off a scarier look. Are you cooking him food?! Yeah, he has given up completely on trying to stop you. 

Eventually, he comes to appreciate the acts of service you give him. He didn’t realize how nice it was to come back to a little bit cleaner living space, a home cooked meal, and a comfortable bed after a long day. He can just relax. 

He pitches in too; he hates not doing anything while you work. You’ll have to teach him some of these home-like skills since he’s never done them before. He technically only patrols and punishes trespassers so…. 🤷‍♀️ 

Pyramid Head will help you fold clothes and dust in places you can’t reach. He’ll clean his own weapon because he doesn’t want you to get cut on it and make his own bed; he feels the need to be obligated to the duties that are, technically, his to do, not you. However, he will not cook: that’s your job. The first and last time Pyramid Head tried to cook he almost burnt the house down. 

Bubba Sawyer

Even though you're Bubba’s significant other and you technically do all your acts of service for him, you still do stuff for his brothers and they all appreciate you. Bubba enjoys not having to do anything after a long day of chasing and killing victims. Nubbins and Choptop just really like your home cooked meals. That’s it. They just like food. Drayton, though won’t admit it, appreciates you taking the majority of the chores he normally does. Now he doesn’t have to stress about all the house chores and putting his brothers in line all the same time. 

Anyways, back to Bubba. Bubba is just so relieved. For once in his life, he can actually relax. Normally Drayton makes him help with dinner or yells at him to get his chaotic older twin brothers to act right. Bubba, now, is able to get more rest and feel more refreshed for each day. He’ll go upstairs and take a quick nap, on the clean sheets you wash weekly, before dinner every single day. 

He thinks you make the best homemade meals. He’ll have three servings of food at dinner every night. He’s a big boy and he works a lot so he needs to eat. Drayton might as well stop cooking because no one can beat your home cooked meals. 

Bubba never had clean clothes before you came along. Drayton would never do his laundry; he was always told his own clothes were his own priority. However, Bubba never had time to do laundry so he’d always throw on the clothes he had worn the day before. Now that he has you around, he has clean clothes everyday! He also helps you out with the laundry when he has time.

The Sawyer’s have a clean and tighty house thanks to you. There used to be chicken feathers, bones, and dust all over the place. Although it took a few weeks, you were able to get the house spotless and now the brothers have a more comfortable home to come back to after a long day.

[brewed-pangolin]

Random Soap Headcanons

Happy Super Soap Sunday! Have a healthy serving of random and domestic Soap headcanons. 🧼

Warnings: None, unless you get offended by ridiculous fluff

Johnny is definitely the kind of man who wants to make you breakfast in bed. He's a decent cook, but breakfast is his absolute forte.

And you'll get all the fixins: eggs cooked just the way you like, bacon so perfect it literally melts in your mouth.  And if you're feeling fancy, he'll gladly spice it up: hollandaise sauce, got it. Canadian bacon, you betcha.  Home fries or hashbrowns, the choice is all yours.

You ask for white pudding, this man's Scottish heart will melt in your hands. Want Lorne sausage, there will be a devilish little twinkle in his eyes (you'll get his sausage later on)

Johnny always has the fridge and pantry full of everything and anything when he's home. The culinary world is at your disposal, all you have to do is ask. And he always keeps your favorite foods stocked when he's on missions. Can't have his girl getting a craving with no way to curb it.

Domestic Soap is an absolute thing of beauty. This man almost always has at least four different projects that he bounces back and forth with. His hands have to be busy doing something, or they'll be all over you. Then you won't get anything done, and you'll procrastinate and on and on and on....

You can sit in one room all day doing your chores and Johnny will be criss crossing the entire square footage of your shared house like he's mapping it for Google. You may find him standing in one room periodically from time to time. He's not lost, he's thinking. Rebooting as some might say. Sometimes there's so much going on in that crested brain of his he needs a moment of stillness to get back on track. Then it's back to next the project.

If there's ever a moment where you can't find him, or he's been quiet for too long just be patient. That's a telltale sign that he's getting frustrated and a slew of Scottish curse words are going to barrel out of his mouth. Take a moment and enjoy it, you may not understand a word he's saying but the sound they carry will never not make you giggle. And if you know what's good for you, don't be too loud.

"Ya think s'funny lass? Wannae fix th'shite yerself, yeah?”

It’s a warning or a challenge, you decide the outcome.

Soap is the absolute King of naps. Not only does he love them, he can take a power nap literally anywhere. Couch, yup. La-Z-Boy, absolutely. Underneath the sink that he’s been working on for an hour, why not. It’ll be so tempting to rouse him, but just let him be. He doesn’t get enough sleep while on missions so he makes up for it during his time on leave.

But if he’s craving a long relaxing nap, he’s not going it alone. Soap doesn’t care what you’re doing, you're joining him in a midday slumber.

Arms outstretched with a cocky grin. Overconfident bastard knows you can’t deny him like that. And honestly, it’s true. Bodies wrapped together in blissful tranquility, even if you don’t sleep you embrace the stillness of him. 

“Johnny, I’ve got to finish this…”

“Nuh-uh. Ya need a break, bonnie. Y’lookin o’erworked already. Besides, how can'ya say no to sleepin wit this?”

Okay, hear me out here. Johnny definitely owns a bike. Something sleek and classic, a Harley Davidson Fat Boy. He loves nothing more than being lost out on the open road with no destination in sight. And you never have to ask, you are always a welcome accompaniment. Johnny revels in the way your arms wrap around his waist. He’ll take those turns just a little too fast to feel you tighten your grip around him. 

And if you really want to drive him wild, buck your hips into this back. Now he’s desperately on the lookout for a secluded roadside hideaway. He may not fuck you out here, but he’s jonesin for a helluva make-out session. (Top Gun, anyone)

Johnny is incredibly sensitive to touch, and reacts to yours almost instantly. When he looks troubled or is just not being his usual energetic self, have him come join you on the couch. Lay him down with his head in your lap and begin with slowly caressing his mohawk in a front to backward motion, you’ll see his features soften within the first few seconds. Johnny’s scalp, neck and shoulders are where he holds his tension, and are the most sensitive to your softest of touch. (Besides the other head, but that's for another time). 

You don’t have to be forceful with your hands, just the slightest touch of your fingers running across his skin is enough to make him like putty in your hands. And you know he can’t help but give you praise when you treat him with such tenderness.

“Feels good, bonnie. Y’always s’good t’me.”

His words will be a muffled whisper, but they’re like ringing church bells to your ears. Your satisfaction is met when his soft breaths turn into deep inhalations, a telltale sign that he’s letting sleep take him over. Whether it be 20 minutes or 2 hours, you won’t dare wake him. He needs it, his body craves it. And you’re more than happy to oblige in whatever your loving Scot desires. 

When it comes to actual sleep, Johnny is like a hibernating grizzly bear. Good luck trying to rouse him from his REM sleep, you could try to push him off the bed and he’d just keep on snoring. And like a heavy weighted blanket he’s going to want an arm, a leg, or all of him over you. Best to get into a comfortable position, because you’re gonna be stuck there all night. 

And when Johnny sleeps he’s like a furnace. It’s fantastic during the winter months, you barely have to turn the heat on when you’re sleeping with an actual industrial heater. But the summer months can be unbearable. Cue you having a fan on, constantly. However you still cherish those hot summer nights with him, because you know they can be few and far between. 

You treasure every day, hour, minute and second with him. You know soon the world will come and take him away from you, and all you’ll have is the memories of him keeping you satisfied until he comes through your door once more. That and the Lorne sausage, best to always keep that in stock.

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 805

Because Tuesdays are my on-site days, I tend to list something fun, relaxing or mindless as the thing I would do that night. This means no chores, no journal set up, nothing of the sort. Originally, because I had been meaning to work through my gaming library, I thought I would at least spend two hours on Magical Bakery right after work.

It helps that I knew there was already food in the fridge to just heat up, so I didn’t have to account for cooking time as much.

However, that isn’t what happened.

See, I kind of forgot that one of my coworkers who normally covers reception breaks was off that week, which normally isn’t an issue except that when I got in that morning, instead of the usual receptionist, the head of reception Izzy was sitting at the front. 

Izzy’s job, when she’s not manning reception at one of the sister locations of my workplace, is to organize all of the receptionists and make sure that whatever project, job, or workload that has been assigned to reception, gets done, which is all well and good except reception is chronically understaffed.

Ignoring the fact that reception is under a hiring freeze at the moment, that position has always been difficult to fill. It is a demanding job that requires you to be one of the first people in the building, and the face of the organization. The latter of which, causes the general public to think you know what the fuck is going on at all times, a task that is made difficult with the dozens upon dozens of programs that my work place manages on a daily basis.

And worst of all, you don’t even get paid as much as the other administrators. 

When I got hired from reception to be an administrator for a handful of programs, the hiring manager asked me if I was willing to come in at 8:30 in the morning as my predecessor came in at 9. At reception, if I covered a day shift, I would have to be at work at 7:30 in the morning, and on public transit it means booting my ass out the door at 6:30 a.m. A later start time and a higher pay raise? I don’t think I said yes fast enough.

With all that in mind, the fact Izzy was in one manning the front meant that someone was sick that day, and that was on top of the fact the second receptionist had to take the day off. Meaning it was just Izzy, that day, in the head office, which made it the business location in the organization. On top of all her other work as head of reception.

I’ve also worked with her in the past, and she’s one of those folks who will continue to stay where she is until she thinks she can go, and by go… she probably should have left two hours ago. So, I asked when she wanted to start her lunch break, hoping I would remember to go out on time, otherwise she would probably leave much later than she should.

It was a good thing too, because there was a meeting that day where people were coming in from other sites and someone ordered catering, but didn’t prep a cart to take all the food for some reason? Despite my best intentions, she didn’t leave for lunch when she thought she would, because neither of us knew about this meeting.

On the bright side, I offered to find a cart (I borrowed one of the speech prep carts and hoped no one would notice), and helped take the food down. This allowed Izzy to focus and stay to greet clients and make sure nothing sets itself on fire.

The downside was, by the time she did manage to leave the next wave of clients came in, and I forgot how busy reception could be. Normally I cover the evening shift (because staffing issues) and those times aren’t busy. As a result, normally I try to do my normal work up front. I got as far as promising a parent that I would encrypt email their report only to be slammed by three families coming in for service, a parent doing a pick up of things I could not find and a therapist poking their head in for something else.

I nearly did a faceplant tripping over my headphone wires as I tried to get from point A to point B.

15 minutes in and I absently wondered why no one has ever made a time management game of manning a reception desk.

30 minutes in, with screaming children in the background echoing off the high ceilings and I decided that I was not going to play Magical Bakery right after work. After all, why play a time management game when you’ve just spent 30 minutes doing it in real life.

By the time Izzy came back from lunch (she had fled the building for lunch to retain her sanity) I was ready to crawl out of my skin due to late onset auditory sensory processing issues developed after all the Covid lockdowns.

It was so bad that instead of eating lunch in the staff room, I fled to the little office I worked out of to eat lunch and blast Lo-fi music through my headphones. On the bright side, Izzy gave me birthday timbits as a treat, a lot of them, which I now get to enjoy for dessert after dinner.

[depressedhouseplant]

Just Fucking Write - Day 54

Prompt: Minkev for Kevin Day!

Tags: Mentions of gun violence, grief & the grieving process

A/N: Happy birthday to our Moonlight Boy. Connected to Day 18 & Cops & Robbers

“Thank you for the flowers,” Kevin said.

“Thank you for making sure I didn’t die in my sleep. And thank you for accepting my dinner invitation,” Mingi smiled a little in return. Kevin shifted in his seat.

“I’ll be honest, I’m really not sure what to do. If you’re looking for a relationship or a boyfriend or something more than just whatever this is, I don’t know if I can give it to you,” Kevin blurted out.

“I’m not sure what I’m looking for either. Mafia trained snipers don’t really have time to date,” Mingi replied.

“And somehow I ended up married to one,” Kevin huffed a laugh.

“I didn’t know him personally, but he seemed like a good guy. At least, as good as guys like us can be,” Mingi reached over and put his hand on top of Kevin’s.

“I miss him every day,” Kevin felt his eyes welling up. Not in public. He couldn’t start crying in public.

“I would too,” Mingi squeezed his hand. “Should I get dinner to go?”

“Please,” Kevin looked down so Mingi couldn’t see his tears. He held Kevin’s hand the entire time getting the food packaged and paying the bill.

“I don’t want to impose, but I also don’t want to just leave you. Would you mind if I came home with you?” Mingi suggested.

“No, that would be nice. I’d like that,” Kevin finally looked up.

”I won’t judge you for crying, you know. Just throwing that out there,” Mingi said when they got outside.

”I really don’t want to cry,” Kevin sniffed. Mingi put his arm around him which is when Kevin realized just how tall and long the other man was.

”Well, I won’t judge you regardless,” he said.

“Thank you,” Kevin tried to smile. He liked the feeling of Mingi’s arm around him. They didn’t say much on the ride back to Kevin’s apartment.

“For later,” Mingi said as he put the food in the fridge. Kevin was slightly embarrassed since he hadn’t cleaned out the fridge of old takeout boxes yet. Looking around all he could see were undone chores because if he wasn’t at the hospital, he was dealing with one of Juyeon’s men getting himself injured. Jacob had been the one to do the chores.

”Sorry for the mess,” Kevin said.

”You’re busy. It happens,” Mingi shrugged. “So how can I help?”

”Help?” Kevin cocked his head.

”Do you need a hug? Someone to just sit with? I don’t really have a huge amount to talk about since I live by myself and don’t really have friends, but I’d like to think I’m a decent listener if you want to vent,” Mingi told him. Kevin considered the other man’s suggestions.

”I think I’d like a hug,” he decided.

”Then a hug it is,” Mingi smiled and wrapped his arms around Kevin. He rested his chin on Kevin’s head as he held him. Of all the things that finally broke him, a hug from almost a total stranger after a failed attempt at a date was not what Kevin would’ve predicted.

”Why? Why did they have to kill him? He didn’t know anything and they did it anyway,” he sobbed.

”Because bad people do bad things because they’re told to. At least, that’s what I’ve seen,” Mingi replied. He carefully steered them to the couch and lied down, holding Kevin on top of him.

”Would you have done it?” Kevin asked.

”Killed someone who didn’t know anything? No,” Mingi replied.

”Even if you were told to?” Kevin continued.

”I know you said you don’t care who I work for, but I work for a man who has no issues killing his own employees for no reason. He lost his moral compass about 30 years ago and a lot of people are rightfully afraid of him. Ignoring the fact entirely I’m worth more alive than dead, I also know better than to kill someone who isn’t a threat. Sometimes that’s hard to tell from the top of a building through a rifle scope, but not always. I’m not a good person, but I’m also not a totally bad one either,” Mingi explained.

”No, you’re not,” Kevin agreed.

”You never really got to mourn him, did you?” Mingi asked.

”No,” Kevin shook his head, successfully smearing snot on Mingi’s shirt.

”How long has it been?” Mingi massaged the back of Kevin’s head. His long fingers felt soothing against his scalp.

”Two years, almost two and a half,” Kevin replied.

”I think it might be time to start. It’ll suck at first, letting yourself feel the hurt and the anger and the pain, but once you get through it then it won’t be so bad. At least, that’s my experience,” Mingi suggested.

“You lost someone?” Kevin propped his chin on Mingi’s chest.

“I did. Someone I loved very much. I did the same thing you did. I didn’t let myself mourn her loss for years. It sucked ass when I finally did. Hell, one morning I woke up feeling like I’d lost a fight because my body was experiencing the emotional pain. It ended up okay, though. It still hurts and always will, but at least now I can handle days like her birthday, our anniversary, or her death day without drinking for three days straight before and after. I visit her, bring her flowers, tell her about the parts of my life that don’t involve felonies, and promise to see her again on the next anniversary,” Mingi told him. His smile was a little sadder now.

”You said anniversary. Who was she?” Kevin asked.

”My wife,” Mingi replied.

[xxdragonwriterxx]

hello! ✨ i’ve just come across your blog and it’s so amazing!!! You are an amazing writer and reading your fics have me flying through the roof ❤️‍🔥 if your requests are open, can i ask for levi x fem!reader where she’s ratger stressed studying hard for exams and doesn’t take any breaks? and levi has to take care of her and has to force her away by seducing her out of her work? like being really, REALLY seductive and teasing, knowing what strings to pull since he knows her like the back of his hand ✨ it can be set in the canonverse, maybe she’s studying for her captain exams?? and maybe you can make it nsfw? 😭 but only if it’s okay with you ❤️‍🔥 once again thank you for writing all those amazing fics, you are amazing and i hope you’re having a good day! ✨✨

A/N: Hey everyone!!! Man, isn't it so weird when one of the authors you read abruptly disappears for months at a time only to suddenly drop absolute filth with no advanced warning whatsoever? Yeahhhh, so I have no idea what got into me 😅. I'm currently on vacation in the mountains with my family and last night, I sat down to do some homework only to end up writing 16 pages of sinful shit instead. Honestly, school has just been really getting me down, and my busy schedule has made it so writing is more of a chore than something I enjoy. Getting away from all that really helped me to relax a bit, and it felt so fucking good to write fanfiction again! Sorry for the really long hiatus, I can't promise that I'll be consistent again, but I'm hoping I'll be able to continue getting back into writing fanfiction even after I go home. I've really missed this ❤️. Well, enough of me rambling, I hope you guys enjoy this random smutty word vomit! I had a blast writing it, so thank you for requesting it!! Also, thank you for all of your kind words, I actually reread this request like five times cuz it made me feel so warm and fuzzy whenever I read ur compliments 💕💕. You're so sweet, thank you so much for making my day!!

🐉 Song Recommendation: "she calls me daddy" By: KiNG MALA 🐉

Word Count: ~7 k

WARNING: NSFW MINORS PLEASE DNI!!!

~~~

🔥 I've Had Enough 🔥

“Whatcha starin’ at her for, Shorty? Wound a little tight?”

Hanji’s teasing snapped Levi out of his reverie, forcing his gaze away from where he was watching his lover shuffle across the Mess Hall to send a dark glare towards the chaotic scientist. “Shut up, Four-Eyes.”

They chuckled, leaning more into the raven-haired captain, their eyes sparkling with mischief. “What? I’m right, aren’t I? From what I’ve gathered, (Y/N)’s been swamped with studying for her captain exams so my guess is that you two haven’t been able to spend any ~quality time together for a while now.”

They were right of course, it had been a while since the two of them had gotten the chance to spend time together. The upcoming captain exams weren’t for another week but (Y/N) had practically drowned herself in books and reports and files to study, desperately hoping to make it into Erwin’s superior officer program. She was more than qualified, one of the strongest, most capable squad leaders in their ranks, but that didn’t stop (Y/N) from pushing herself harder than anyone in her methods of preparation. It had admittedly taken away from her time with Levi, making it more and more difficult for them to spend more than an hour in the same room before she was whisked back to her office, hunched over her desk as she poured over the study guides and books she had snagged from the Survey Corps library. But that wasn’t why Levi felt anxious.

He could tell, even from this distance, that the near constant studying was starting to take a toll. Her head was hung low as she stumbled her way to the line for food, her eyes blinking slowly and filled with a bleary fog that blocked the light that usually shone in them. Once she reached the front of the line, Levi watched as she nearly fumbled the bowl of stew that was handed to her, barely managing to catch it with shaky fingers. She was burnt out.

Levi closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, rubbing his temples in annoyance. He had always admired her sense of strength and determination, her patience of steel, but he couldn’t help but hate the way those qualities could be so self-destructive when she let herself get carried away. (Y/N) was a workaholic, possibly even more so than he was, and hardly ever remembered to give herself a break, no matter how exhausted she was, until she inevitably collapsed. He had tried talking to her about it, and she had promised him that she wouldn’t let herself get out of hand this time, but he knew from the beginning that she was going to break her promise. These exams meant everything to her, there was hardly a force in the world that could stop her once she hyper focused on something.

Suddenly, Levi stood from his seat, abandoning the remainder of his meal just as (Y/N) sat down at a table at the opposite end of the hall, too tired to notice and sit beside him. Hanji gave him a confused look, one that turned into slight amusement as Levi started off towards the doors of the Mess Hall, striding with newfound purpose.

“Shorty? You didn’t answer my question!”

“I know,” Levi growled in response, the scientist’s shocked cackles of delight fading from behind him as he turned down a different hall, aiming for the last office door on the left.

“Jesus (Y/N), you look like shit.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, too tired to argue, “Wow, thanks a lot, Oulo.”

He shrugged, “Hey, I’m just sayin’, you look like- ow!”

“Stop being an asshole and leave her alone,” Petra said, cutting off her comrade’s rambling insults and meeting his hurt sneer with a glare of her own. (Y/N) shot her an appreciative glance as the ginger-haired woman sat down across from her, next to Oulo, who was still rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head where she had slapped him.

“Yeah, Oulo, what the hell, man?” (Y/N) smiled when Gunther came to sit beside her, Eld following close behind. “At least she has a reason to feel shitty, studying for the captain exams is killer. You look like shit everyday despite not doing anything.”

“Hey!”

(Y/N) chuckled as Levi’s squad bickered around her. She had forgotten how much she missed this. It had been a while since she had just been able to talk and laugh with her friends, and it wasn’t just because of the upcoming exams either. Before she had been promoted to squad leader, she had been in Levi’s squad with these people, laughing, talking, and training with them every day, but after she was given her own cadets to train, she had had less and less time to spend with them, despite being around Levi almost constantly. Her heart fluttered with warmth, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She was already wasting time in coming down to eat, she didn’t have the liberty to stay and chat. She had hardly finished her food, but the anxiety gnawing at her nerves killed what little appetite she had had when she came in this morning, so she dropped her spoon in the now cold stew and made to stand up.

“Wait, (Y/N), where are you going?” Petra asked, her hand automatically reaching for (Y/N)’s wrist to keep her from moving.

She winced, placing her hand on top of Petra’s and feebly attempting to break free of her friend’s hold. “I’ve got to get back now. Those books aren’t gonna study themselves.”

Despite (Y/N)’s weak attempt at humor, Petra frowned and tightened her grip, “But you’ve barely touched your food and you haven’t even been here for a half hour.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but I don’t have time to stay.”

Petra sighed, “Listen, (Y/N). We all know how much those exams mean to you, and you are the hardest worker I know, but you need to take a break. Oulo didn’t have the right approach, but he did mean well. You haven’t been in tip top shape lately, and we’re starting to get worried about you. Why not at least finish your breakfast? You’re going to need the energy if you’re going to be spending the whole day studying again.”

(Y/N) finally managed to loosen her friend’s grip on her wrist, refusing to look at anyone from her old squad as she grabbed her bowl and slowly backed away from the table. She knew realistically, they were right, and she hated that she was worrying them, but she just couldn’t shake the feeling that she was quickly running out of time, drowning in the fears of failing because she didn’t push herself hard enough.

“I’m not hungry, but thank you for your concern. I’m just a little tired is all, but I’ll be fine. And the quicker I finish this, the sooner I can have a break, so if I leave now, then it’ll be better for everyone involved, okay? I promise, I’ll take a break later tonight, I just need to get back to work for now. I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow?”

Petra slumped in her seat, exchanging worried glances with Eld, Gunther, and Oulo. The red-head wanted to argue further, but a subtle shake of the head from Eld made her bite her tongue. It was no use, no matter what any of them said to her, she still wouldn’t listen. There was probably only one person who could force (Y/N) to take a break, but Petra hadn’t seen him since he had slipped out of the Mess Hall, presumably to complete his own work. She could only hope that he would do something to put a stop to this soon.

“Alright,” Petra sighed. “Good luck with your study session today.”

Despite her exhaustion, (Y/N) beamed at her friends, grateful for their compliance. “Thanks guys! I’ll see you again sometime soon.”

A chorus of mumbles and half-hearted goodbyes saw her off as she dumped the remainder of her stew and made her way out of the dining hall. It wasn’t until the large wooden doors had shut behind her that the exhaustion hit her full force. Being around her friends always tended to make her feel better, make her forget about the stresses and problems nagging her in her life, but once the silence of the hall permeated the air and settled in her bones, she suddenly felt achy all over, no longer distracted from it by the bright energy of her friends. She fought against the urge to slide to the ground, and dragged her feet down an adjacent hall toward her office.

‘Just a few more days’, she thought to herself stubbornly as she finally reached the last door on the left and pushed it open.

Levi had to fight to keep the smug smirk from creeping along his lips when (Y/N) froze in the doorway of her office, her once droopy, glazed eyes wide and full of shock.

“Welcome back, beautiful. I knew it wouldn’t be long before you’d be back here.”

(Y/N) slowly stepped into her office, subconsciously pushing the door shut behind her. Her gaze was skeptical as it dragged up and down his body, taking note of the way he sat in her desk chair, his shirt unbuttoned and loose on his shoulders and his legs spread casually. Her whole body was tense, her pace a slow prowl as she approached him, only making the blood in his loins boil further.

“Levi… why are you here?”

Rhetorical question. She knew exactly what he was doing here. She could see it in the way his eyes had darkened considerably, his palm sliding in a smoothing motion over the slight bulge between his opened legs.

Levi scoffed, “You need a break, baby, but you’re too stubborn for your own good, so I’m here to ensure you take some time off.”

(Y/N) groaned, trying her best to ignore the increasing wetness in her underwear. “You know I can’t do that, Levi. I have to study for these exams.”

“You’ve been doing nothing but studying for days, sweetheart,” Levi said with a slight pout that made her heart melt into a warm puddle of goo in her chest. He had figured out early on in their relationship that she couldn’t ever really resist him when he pouted like that, and she hated it as much as she loved it. Shoving down the instinct to immediately cave, (Y/N) let out a frustrated huff and stomped her way over to him, leaning down to cage him in with her arms, her hands grasping the armrests of her desk chair on either side of him.

“Levi, out.”

He arched an eyebrow, a direct challenge. “No.”

“Fine, then I’m just going to continue studying with you here,” (Y/N) said, gesturing for him to stand. For a moment, Levi didn’t move, and (Y/N) thought he might actually ignore her until he let out an annoyed sigh and stood. “Thank you, and I promise, we can spend time together later tonight, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Levi grumbled, slinking over to the couch sitting on the far side of her office, facing the cobblestone fireplace and worn cedar bookshelves. She rolled her eyes playfully at his sour mood and took her place in her chair before turning her attention back to the reports and books on her desk.

Levi watched her in silence as she went back to studying without a second thought, as if he wasn’t even in the room with her. He knew she wasn’t being neglectful on purpose, but he was quickly getting fed up with the lack of attention. He had been patient for a week already, he wasn’t willing to wait anymore, especially when he knew it would be good for both of them.

When he first came into her office, he had been hoping that just the sight of him in her chair would be enough to break her resolve, even if for a couple of minutes. Maybe she could’ve given him a few kisses, or indulged in some cuddles with him, even if it was just her sitting on his lap in her chair. But now he knew he was going to have to try a more drastic approach if he was going to get her to focus on him.

Taking a deep breath, Levi shifted his knees apart, just like he had done when sitting in her chair. His bulge had not receded despite her initial rejection, although he was not fully hard yet, so he quickly set to work, rubbing his palm over the front of his pants with a blissful sigh. The room was quickly getting warmer, making him feel constricted in his clothes as he continued to tease himself, imagining his past encounters with (Y/N) as fuel to add to the growing fire in his loins.

When he felt himself start to sweat, his shirt sticking to his back uncomfortably, Levi released himself long enough to reach back and pull the fabric from his body, tossing it to land carelessly on the floor for once. 

“Oh fuck, that’s it,” he groaned as he brought his hand back to his clothed cock, palming himself with more speed and pressure now.

“Levi…” (Y/N)’s voice was a warning growl, sending a delicious shiver down his spine as he turned to meet the barely suppressed hunger in her gaze. “What are you doing?”

Another rhetorical question. One that Levi took advantage of this time.

“Well, you didn’t seem inclined to help me so I just thought I’d do it myself. I still need you, after all, that doesn’t change just because you’re too busy, brat.” His words were punctuated by the purposeful, loud moan he let out as he bucked into his fist, the pressure of his own hand sending electric tingles pulsing throughout his entire body.

(Y/N) swallowed thickly and bit her lip, trying her best to ignore the sudden throbbing between her legs. She should’ve known better, while she could be very stubborn when she wanted to be, nobody could compare to her grumpy lover once he set his sights on something. He was like a dog with a bone, there was no reasoning with him. But even as the sight of him set her body on fire and tempted her to rub her thighs together, the nagging of her anxiety still scratched incessantly at the edge of her brain, reminding her of what she had to lose if she failed these exams. She had to hold out.

So, it became a competition of iron wills, both of them trying to get the other to break. (Y/N) forced her eyes to stay glued to the paper in front of her, even as the words barely registered in her brain. Levi, on the other hand, took his efforts even further, standing from his spot on the couch to stay directly in her peripheral vision before running his hands sensually down the length of his body, using his fingers to massage and tease himself in a way similar to what she often did for him. His hips swayed to music only he could hear, his abs flexing as he stretched and moved just for her. Anyone else would’ve looked stupid but Levi was dancing to an unknown rhythm as if he was born to do it, flowing through the movement like water as he sank to his knees and spread them, his hands continuing their journey across his inner thighs.

Despite her resolve, (Y/N) couldn’t help but watch from the corner of her eye, her brain no longer taking in information as she focused on maintaining her breathing. She feared her pen might snap in the tight grasp she had on it, her knuckles paling under the pressure. She managed to keep her cool for the most part, until the sound of a belt buckle clinking made her look up without thinking of the possible consequences.

The paperwork and study guides on her desk were immediately forgotten the moment she looked at him directly, her mouth parting slightly and her eyes widening at the delicious display in front of her. Captain Levi was still spread out on the floor, propped by his knees as he stroked over his somehow still clothed cock. His head was knocked back, his mouth open in a soundless moan and his eyes closed, sweat glistening on his body in the light of the flickering lanterns in the room. His beauty made her breathless, and when he finally allowed the sound of his moan to fill the room, she couldn’t stop herself from clenching her thighs together in need.

“Holy shit, Levi,” (Y/N) breathed, the pen falling from her fingers with a clatter. The noise made him look up, his gaze feral as he watched her watching him. A near evil smirk spread across his face when he noticed the blown pupils that swallowed her normally (e/c) hues and her flushed cheeks.

“Finally got your attention now, huh brat?” Levi rasped, keeping his eyes locked on her as he slowly pulled the zipper of his pants down, leaning even further back with a hand propped behind him to give her more visual access. He groaned when she licked her lips in anticipation, but he kept things slow as he untucked his legs out from under him and arched up to pull his pants completely off of himself. He made sure to keep his legs spread wide, allowing her to see the wet stain left on his tight black boxers as he continued to touch himself in front of her.

“Ah, fuck baby,” Levi moaned. “I need you so bad.”

He hated to admit that this wasn’t all for show. Sure, part of it was a bit dramatized in an effort to rile her up but it truly had been a long time. At least, for the two of them. He was more sensitive than he realized, and his desperate, needy routine was starting to become less of an act the longer this continued on.

“Yeah?” (Y/N) said, her voice low and dripping with desire, making the exposed man before her shiver.

“Yeah,” he only palmed himself faster, pausing just long enough to slip his boxers down beneath his swollen cock, before his hand was wrapped around bare skin, hastily squeezing the heated flesh. He felt himself twitch in his palm at (Y/N)’s gaze, the sizzling flame of desire in her eyes scorching him to his core. He really didn’t know how much longer he could keep this up before he fell apart, not with her looking at him like that. 

The thought forced him to slow down his pace, not yet wanting to finish, especially not all over himself. He kept his eyes pinned on her face, the fringe of his hair falling over his features to slightly obscure his vision. He was so sure she was going to break, neither one of them looking away, but he wished she would hurry the fuck up. He was starting to consider listing the supplies in his cleaning closet to keep from this being over too quickly.

He watched as she broke eye contact for a moment, her gaze shifting to glance at the pile of papers awaiting her perusal. She hesitated, her fingers twitching as if they were aching to grab ahold of that pen once more. She looked back at him, and he made sure to give her the most pleading expression he possibly could. She was stubborn as hell, something that was admirable in battle, if not a bit irritating during situations like this.

But Levi could be very persuasive when he needed to be.

(Y/N) hesitated for a moment longer before she breathed a quiet, “fuck it” under her breath. It was all the warning Levi got before she shot from her chair and launched at him, her lips colliding with his with a swipe of her tongue and a click of their teeth. Levi hadn’t expected her to be quite so aggressive in her approach, but he was far from complaining as he moaned into her mouth and frantically clawed at her hips to steady her against him.

“God… damn… it, Levi,” (Y/N) huffed in between ravenous kisses, “you… are… such a fucking… asshole, you… know that?”

“Am I?” Levi murmured against her lips, unable to keep the smug smile from his face. “Because I think you’re the asshole who’s neglected me this whole time.”

(Y/N) growled as she forced her tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his, but she didn’t argue, making his smirk widen slightly. Only to immediately feel it drop from his face when he let out an open mouth sigh at the feeling of her soft hand suddenly wrapping around his swollen length, replacing his own with her movements. He grunted into her mouth, trying to break free of her grasp. This was his show to run, damn it! He may have been acting desperate earlier, but that was just supposed to be a way to get her attention. Now that he had it, he figured she could use some punishment, something to remind her why she needed to pay attention to him from time to time. But he found himself struggling to follow through as her warm palm brought him to his own version of heaven, making his eyes cross as pleasure shot up his spine and coiled tightly in his belly.

“Babe,” Levi tried, only to get interrupted by another kiss. “Baby, you’ve gotta stop. I don’t wanna cum yet, not here.”

“What if I want to see my little slut make a mess all over my floor? I think it’s the least you could do, considering this is what you’ve been begging me for all night, interrupting my important work just for a quick fuck.”

Oh.

Oh.

Levi shuddered at the words and bit back what he knew would be an embarrassingly high moan. It had been so long since she had spoken to him like that, and he damn near caved at it’s return. He loved when she put him in his place, but he needed to stay strong despite the fog of pleasure starting to cloud his brain. 

“This was supposed to be about you, babe,” He tried to bargain. “I wanted you to be able to relax and take a break. I don’t want to cum until you’ve reached at least some sort of satisfaction.”

(Y/N) hummed as she pulled away from where she had been sucking sloppy kisses into the pale skin of his neck, reapplying the marks that had long since faded away as a result of their dry spell. “Don’t worry, love, I’m getting plenty of satisfaction from this.”

Levi whined when she gave him a firm squeeze at the base of his cock.

“But I appreciate your sentiment. I think you’ve earned the right to prove yourself; to prove that interrupting me was worth it. Show me what you’ve got. Right now.”

She didn’t need to tell him twice. He launched to his feet, (Y/N) letting out a positively rapturous giggle when she was lifted into the air with him, held tightly in his warm, strong arms. She leaned forward to press more of her intoxicating kisses against his throat as he strode across the room to bend her over her desk, scattering her papers, books, and reports all over the floor.

Her eyes sparkled with a mischief that matched the smirk on his lips despite the glare she threw him for the rough treatment. “Fuck you.”

“Oh, you’re about to, sweetheart,” Levi purred as he climbed up to meet her, his warm palms running up the back of her thighs.

“Levi-”

“No,” Levi said, cutting her off and digging his fingers into the meat of her ass. “You had your fun, it’s my turn.”

“Not really,” (Y/N) countered with a pout. “All I got to do was kiss you. I barely even got to make you beg.”

Levi raised an eyebrow at her but she glared right back over her shoulder, refusing to back down. “Do you think you deserve that?”

“I think I more than deserve to have you in whichever way I want, considering it was you who interrupted me.”

“Really? Because the way I see it, I should get to have you in whichever way I want because you were the one who neglected me for so long I had no choice but to interrupt your work.”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes, “You’re so dramatic.”

A sudden nip to her inner thigh, just below the rim of her shorts made her yelp, heat rising to her cheeks in embarrassment and slight annoyance once she got a look at his gloating expression.

“Who’s the dramatic one now?”

“Still you.”

Levi chuckled against her skin, his fingers ghosting further up her legs until he was able to curl them into her waistband. His gaze was molten as he pressed a kiss to her left ass cheek through the fabric of her pants. “We’ll see about that.”

(Y/N) swallowed back a whine as Levi began to pull her shorts down her hips at an excruciatingly slow pace, his eyes never leaving her face as he worked the article down her legs. She huffed and tried her best to sit still, to keep from letting him know just how much he was affecting her, but she knew it was no use. She could see in his eyes that he knew exactly how much she was holding back. Her hips shifted back of their own accord, and she quickly forced them down into the edge of the desk, biting her lip in an effort to keep her impatient noises to a minimum as Levi finally pulled her shorts completely off her body and dropped them to the floor.

(Y/N) automatically turned to face forward again, reaching to curl her fingers along the edge of the desk to ground herself as she braced for the first touch. She had to force herself not rub her ass back against his face when he didn’t move for a while. His fingers merely teasing the  edge of her panties as if he had all the time in the world.

“Levi, hurry,” she said, unable to help herself. “We have to do this quickly so I can get back to- AH!”

Levi growled as he licked a long stripe up her clothed cunt, cutting off her pleas for him to rush through this. He was going to take as much damn time as he wanted, and he was determined to show that to her. She was done with work for the night, he was going to make sure of it. He nipped her lower lips, reveling in the loud squeak of surprise she let out just for him.

He made sure to tease her a few more times, his tongue laving her mound while his hands flitted up her shirt to finger the edge of her lace bra before he finally broke away just long enough to latch his teeth onto the edge of her panties. Making sure to take the same amount of time that he did with her shorts, Levi slowly dragged her panties down her legs, only switching to using his hands when they got too low on her for his mouth to follow. (Y/N) shivered as her core was bared to the open air of her own office, completely unhidden from his ravenous gaze.

Levi leaned back, a shaky breath his only warning before he was on her, his hands moving from her bra to the backs of her thighs to keep her spread wide open for him. (Y/N) keened, her mouth falling open of its own accord as his tongue attacked her clit, switching from long, flat licks over her entire slit to quick little flicks and circles on her throbbing clit.

“Levi!” She whimpered as he ate at her like she was his last meal, his own moan reverberating through her in the most delicious way as he tasted her juices for the first time in weeks.

Levi was in heaven. He had forgotten just how much he had missed this until he had his tongue on her again, her juices flooding his mouth in a way that had his eyes rolling back into his skull. She was his favorite meal, with the most delicious flavor, he could hardly stand it. She was better than any tea he had ever tasted, sweeter than any candy that had ever graced his tongue. He only dove in more enthusiastically as she squirmed and moaned above him, his eyes closing as he fucked her with his tongue as if he’d never get to taste her again.

“Ah! Levi, I’m gonna-!”

“That’s it, sweetheart, fucking cum for me. I want it on my tongue. It’s been too long since I’ve gotten to taste you properly.”

His words sent her over the edge as she squealed with her release, the coil of heat in her stomach giving way to a wave of euphoria that crashed over every nerve ending. It truly had been a long time, she had forgotten how good she could feel under her lover’s care.

“Oh god,” (Y/N) panted as she fought to catch her breath. “Levi, that was- ngh!”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, choking on her words as Levi’s lips suddenly wrapped around her clit, sucking harshly against the oversensitive bud until tears were streaming down her face. “LEVI!”

He ignored her scream, continuing to lick and suck at her clit until painful overstimulation gave way to pure, pulsing pleasure.

The noises coming out of her mouth were damn near pornographic as he continued to slurp at her sloppy pussy, only taking a break to lap at her clit every once in a while. It didn’t take long for the coil to tighten once more, the immense heat making her teeter on the tantalizing edge of yet another precipice.

“Levi, Levi please!”

Her lover said nothing as he nipped at her clit, sending her over the edge for the second time in a row. Her scream was silent with this one, her release not as deep yet sharper, wrenching the breath from her lungs and leaving her stunned. Her vision washed white with the sensation, her entire body shaking hard enough to make the desk shudder as Levi continued to push her through her orgasm.

She was so out of it that she barely even realized that Levi had yet to lift his mouth from her sopping cunt until she finally managed to get her heart rate in check. Her eyes widened as Levi gave her another wet, messy kiss against her lower lips, making her entire lower half jerk in shock and delicious agony. Reaching back with one hand, her other unable to let go of the desk lest she risk losing her balance, not trusting her wobbly legs to hold her up, she tried to push his head away.

“Levi, please, I can’t…”

“You can and you will, princess,” Levi rumbled, his voice a dark, gravelly growl that rocked her to her core. She glanced back at him from over her shoulder, only to melt at the pure, flaming desire in his eyes. “It’s the least you can do after depriving me of such a delicacy for so long. I don’t know when you’ll be free enough for me to do this again, so I need to make the most of this.”

(Y/N) mewled, her eyes screwing shut at the violent wave of pain and pleasure crashing over her. She turned back to face the front before she leaned down to rest her forehead against the cool wood of her desk, too tired to hold it up any longer. Levi was pussydrunk at this point, that she knew, completely subservient to his rampant desires. It made a weak smirk tease the corner of her lips. It was exactly how she wanted him. Because at the end of the day, even though he may feel like he’s in control, she was the one that had driven him deep into something primal.

“Besides,” Levi said as he broke from her with a loud smack of his lips, snapping her out of her haze. “I need to make you at least a fraction of the needy mess you make me so you know how it feels when you neglect me.”

A gasp pierced through her lungs as he attacked her once again, her words and sounds caught in her throat as if with a net, smothered by the ferocity of his actions. Her throat burned and her cheeks were soaked with tears, but she managed to hold herself together by the threads of her frayed seams, forcing herself to take deep breaths as he leisurely rolled her clit around on the tip of his tongue. It wasn’t until she suddenly felt two fingers push their way in that another scream managed to wrestle its way past the block in her throat, the way they stroked against her spongey walls making her toes curl and her back arch to the point of aching.

Levi kept up his frantic pace, his fingers jolting against her innermost sensitive spot as his tongue continued to play with her clit. He was doing his best to maintain his own composure, her moans and squeals shooting down his spine to strike right at his cock, but he managed to mostly keep ahold of himself. The only sign that he was starting to lose patience was in the way his hips rolled subconsciously into nothing, his red, swollen cock bouncing in the air with every thrust as he desperately sought the friction needed to bring him to completion.

A groan that vibrated right against her clit followed by the curling of his fingers brushing her g-spot made her tip over the edge for the third time, bringing a genuine smile to Levi’s face as he fought to swallow every drop of her spend. She was panting so hard above him that he would’ve been worried for her health if it weren’t for the safewords the two had in place. She had yet to use them, so Levi kept going, making sure to clean every last inch of her before finally detaching himself from her pussy.

(Y/N) immediately collapsed against the desk, her knees buckling so hard, the only thing keeping her up being Levi’s hands against the backs of her thighs. She couldn’t stop shaking, her hands clenching and unclenching against the wood of her desk as she fought to ground herself back in reality. Levi himself felt more than a little dazed, but quickly snapped himself back into action.

“(Y/N), love? What’s your color? Are you feeling alright?”

She took a moment to answer, swallowing thickly and trying to remember how words worked. “G-Green, I’m okay.”

Levi nodded to himself before reaching down to scoop her into his arms. It was a short walk to the bedroom and it wasn’t long before (Y/N) was sprawled across the mattress on her back, her top and bra now discarded somewhere haphazardly on the floor. Her arms were placed above her head, Levi’s belt, which he had grabbed on his way to their room, tying her wrists to the headboard. She didn’t fight him, long since having abandoned any thought of dominating him tonight, and just lay back, watching him with tired, lustful eyes as he crawled over her.

He regarded her with dark eyes, his mouth dropped open in awe as he stroked himself to the beautiful image of her below him. She was stunning, absolutely breathtaking, and he was still at a loss for how he had managed to convince this gorgeous creature to be with him. He knew she would berate him for his self-deprecating thoughts but he couldn’t help it. She was just too good for him. He wanted to find a way to tell her all this, to express this in a way that was more understandable for her.

Instead he said, “You’re not getting up from this bed even after I fucking ruin you, understand?”

She nodded, a wide smile breaking out across her lips. “I love you too, Levi.”

His heart felt like it was going to explode. He had no fucking clue how she knew what he meant by that but he was in no position to complain. God he didn’t deserve her.

His smile was wicked as he leaned over her, lined up to her opening without the need of a hand to guide himself, and slid into her with ease. Moans broke out in unison, filling the dark room as Levi continued to enter slowly. (Y/N) was plenty wet for him, but as he had reminded himself over and over, it had been a while since their last time together. As eager as he was, he refused to hurt her.

(Y/N) was having none of it though. Levi was half way in, moving at a snail’s pace to make sure he didn’t cause any unnecessary pain, when her legs crossed over his lower back and pressed, making him grunt loudly as his hips were shoved forward, sheathing him into the hilt. He leaned back to glare at her in response.

“Brat, you could’ve gotten hurt!”

“Levi,” she bit her lip and tightened the grip of her legs on his hips. “Fuck me.”

That was when he realized she didn’t care. She knew her body and what she could take, and right now, she wanted to take his cock in its entirety. She was tired of waiting, tired of his teasing, agonizingly slow tempo. He had finally gotten her to feel as needy as he was.

Fighting to regain the upper hand, Levi decided to take her impatience in stride and pulled out to just the tip before slamming back into her, hard. Her loud, throaty moan made his painfully hard dick twitch inside her before he repeated the action, setting a steady, harsh pace. The sound of skin slapping skin echoed wetly throughout the room, the pale, ghostly light of the moon shining through the slit in the curtains to bathe their writhing bodies in a crisp, angelic glow. (Y/N)’s fingers curled and grasped at nothing, jerking against the restriction of the belt at her wrists as her guts were stirred thoroughly, her brain turned to soup. The headboard was starting to bang against the back wall as they moved together, but neither found it in themselves to care as the pleasure started to creep into every muscle, every nerve ending, every limb.

(Y/N) closed her eyes and leaned her head back, reveling in the way Levi whined and mewled against her ear and down her throat in between his desperate kisses along her skin. His unhinged enjoyment of the act only made her blood boil further.

“Levi…! I don’t know how much longer-”

“I know baby, me too,” Levi groaned into her collar, his hot breath leaving droplets of condensation against her skin. “I’m almost there, just a little more-!”

He leaned back, rising to his knees as much as their joined hips would allow, before he grabbed ahold of her waist and began to pound even harder into her body, his tip kissing her cervix with every thrust. His free hand immediately dove for her clit, rubbing sloppy circles into the quivering bud. He could feel himself swelling with every squeeze of her pussy constricting around him, the white hot fire of lust and pleasure starting to tingle along his spine like living sparks of flame lovingly nipping his bones. He gritted his teeth in an effort to stave off for just a bit longer.

“Fuck, baby, you’re s’good,” He slurred.

“Fuck, oh fuck, holy-! Levi!”

Levi’s orgasm caught him off guard, making him choke on his moan as he lunged forward, making sure he was as deep within his lover as possible as he released rope after rope of cum. The feeling of his warmth overflowing into her abused pussy sent (Y/N) flying over her precipice as well, taking her down with him until she was sobbing with pleasure, her back arching and her hips canting into him as she rode out her high.

When the two were finally finished, they both collapsed, Levi beside her to avoid crushing her, and (Y/N) into the mattress beneath her. Levi released her wrists from their restraints and kissed away the light bruising on her skin before he finally stopped moving, content to lay and catch his breath for a moment. A loud part of him itched to stand and wash the sheets, take a shower, and clean up, but he knew that could be done later. If he got up now, there was a chance (Y/N) would use the opportunity to escape and get back to work before he could stop her.

The thought had him wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest, his left leg moving to drape over her hip as if he owned it. She shot him a weakly annoyed glare, immediately seeing through why he was being so clingy, but didn’t argue, merely rolling her eyes before turning to embrace him back. Levi sighed when she ran her fingers through his hair, playing with the soft raven locks in a way that left Humanity’s Strongest Soldier as nothing more than a puddle on the sheets.

“Aren’t we going to clean up?” (Y/N) asked after a moment of collecting themselves.

Levi hummed and squeezed her tighter against him. “In a bit.”

That worked just fine for her. Maybe she did need a break every once in a while.

[izel-01]

Still haven’t been able to find a job, been applying and even reapplying hoping someone would contact me but nothing and I cant stand the idea of calling and getting rejected

So obviously I had to cancel some luxuries that I’ve once had and one of those being Spotify premium, I had the family plan, but with the price change and having no income I can’t have that luxury rn

So I canceled and my younger sister is acting like it’s the end of the world like? I already explained to her that it’s not a necessity sure it’s really nice to have it but if I can’t afford it I have to cancel it and when she woke up to the subscription being canceled she was not happy

She offered to pay, I kept declining bc I don’t think it’s fair that she would pay for something that I originally was paying for and last payment I asked our “ mother “ for to lend me some money ( I’m keeping track how much I owe her it’s not much but still I hate feeling like I owe people money )

Anyways our mother said we’ll talk later about it, my sister and her did talk about it without me ( which idc ) but they kept making “jokes” saying shit like “too bad for those without Spotify premium having to listen to ads” and honestly it was annoying but I ignored them not giving them the time of day

But it hurts cause like I know I can’t afford these luxuries but at least I have a roof over my head and a comfy bed to sleep but it was nice and I miss it but it’s not a necessity and I have having to depend on her for money even though I try not to ask for anything especially since she has to save money for that stupid parasite she’s gonna have but that’s for another day

It just sucks bc I’m the eldest I’m supposed to be the example but I can’t even get a fucking job - I refuse to go back to food service it is not worth my mental health and the pay was not enough - the second oldest doesn’t want a job which imo is fine bc she literally raised the youngest 3 but she doesn’t want to cook, do chores, or learn to drive. And it fucking pisses me off sometimes bc at least she has a purpose living here unlike me

I’m in the way and I know it even if this stupid bitches say I’m not I know I am bc my sister, my best friend, says to “just move out already” , “it’s not that hard”, “nobody wants you here”, etc and ofc it hurts cause the one person who has been through everything with me, who made me suffer (not her fault when we were little but now she should know better), the one who I consider my best friend/my other half is saying this stuff to me in my face

It usually happens when she gets really irritated or when she just snaps at me for any reason which happens almost everyday and I know I may be a bit too much (tough playing with the little ones or “butting” in stuff) but it’s how I show my appreciation and love and concern but she says it’s not my “business” or sum other shit calling me names

One time a while ago around Dec 2021 I’m pretty sure after we had another argument she said something along the lines of “if I was tired then I would not get up cause nobody expects anything from you” and that really hurt I don’t remember the context of what was said I just wrote it down in my notes just her saying that

What do I say to that? How do I move on from that? I obviously didn’t forget but I’ve not forgiven her either. I cook for her I clean after her I try to help her in any way I can I defended and still do to this day from our “mother”- I remember once around middle/high school when our mother was yelling and was about to hit her and I stood out in between them saying she’ll never hit her again and this bitch (the mother) laughed and called me a hypocrite I’ll never forget that and to this day she says she doesn’t remember funny how the most terrible moments of my life she claims of having no memory of and ok my brain is shit cause I physically can’t remember shit at all but I remember that clearly tears in my eyes, scared to death of standing up to her, scared of her but I knew I had to protect my little sister

Anyways it just sucks that I already know I’m a miserable example of the eldest child, but for them to keep reminding me like i don’t know already doesn’t make it better and I can’t tell my supposed best friend bc she is part of the reason why I’m slowly losing my will to do anything and I’m pushing myself everyday trying to cook more help with chores even more to show that I do appreciate them letting me stay here bc according to my mum I’m “ no longer her obligation”

Like I stopped being her child once I turned 15… but she would never dream of doing this to the younger 4 but it’s fine bc at least they have a fighting chance in this cruel world I really want the best for them bc they didn’t asked to be here but it must be nice to not have to suffer what I did

Me and the second oldest like to joke saying we were the free trial and the youngest three have it easy, and jokes aside they do. Like in that show “Good Place” when the main character said sum about her mum sum along the lines of “ if she could’ve been a better mum for ____ then that means she could always change but I wasn’t enough for her to change” and that fucking hit me like a train… cause she did change not for her, not for us, but for them her 3 precious angels (about to be 4) and that “loving husband” of hers, don’t get me wrong that’s a good thing but it hurts seeing them be treated how I deserved to be treated to get that “family” I will always yearn for, it’s still not good tho but hey it’s wayyyy better than my childhood at least I hope it is bc then it would all have been for nothing

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled).

That guy seemed like he was about to burst a blood vessel. He was goin' too hard too much.

I started this fic what feels like a bazillion years ago - it was supposed to come out last year I believe, but between my half-year job that sipped my Life Points away like I was some Yu-Gi-Oh character, various other sources of brainrot and Whumptober, I ended up finishing this fic a lot later than I'd have liked.

Well, I knew I'd have to postpone posting it until I was done with a previous prompt on the card for Reasons only known to myself (and Tekiro), so it's not that surprising of me I'd suppose.

The backstory of this one was inspired by a fanfic series on Pixiv where, at some point, Nitta confronts Kumi's bullies; but like I'm edgy as fuck so I took it in an angstier direction. Woops.

I'm just really glad this fic is done, it's been a long time coming. Also I need food for my stupidly niche-ass rarepair that crosses into crackship territory if you don't think about it hard enough.

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Sunny-Side Up

Summary: Shun has felt off for a couple days, but in his haze, doesn't quite get why. Somehow, his crush manages to read through his own unease.

Fandom: Captain Tsubasa Relationships: Nitta/Kumi (pre-rel)

Word Count: 4.2K words

AO3 version available here.

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo.

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In a sudden flash of awareness, Shun realizes how much of a mess he’s made.

There’s a video playing on his smartphone of someone wrapping gauze on a dummy’s arm. His smartphone is itself propped on some makeshift installation on top of the empty bathtub, threatening to fall if he hits it at just the right angle. There’s an empty bottle of disinfectant on the floor, its smell all over the bathroom, bandages all over the place, a first-aid kit wide open and spilling.

All that mess, yet his wound still looks the worst out of everything here. Oh, this is going to be a pain in the ass…

Whatever. He can handle it on his own. He doesn’t need Urabe, Misaki and especially not Sugimoto’s nosy ass to slip their noses into his bullshit. Mom and Dad trust him to be on his own so he’ll manage it on his own. Tutorials are all he needs to get by with whatever he doesn’t know yet. He’ll cook himself omurice, he’ll down a pill or two, and it’ll be fine. He’s fine, no need for anyone else, and especially not a manager who puts her nose everywhere (even if she’s lowkey cute – when she’s not being a brat who meddles in people’s business).

Fuck it. It’s stopped bleeding and it doesn’t even smell that bad anymore (it doesn’t make him want to puke, at least), so that should be enough. He’s got other stuff to take care of, like what he’s going to train tomorrow and his math homework. Dammit, he should’ve taken a shower before patching that wound! Oh well, he’ll just quickly wash himself in the sink, like Dad often does when he runs late to his flights. You shouldn’t wash a wound, right? He remembers that from when he had stitches for another injury. It makes some amount of sense.

Just staring at the mess he’s made is kind of discouraging, though. It’s been a long day (even longer than that, actually), even without taking into account the deep cut on his thigh. He still doesn’t quite to make of it, confused by his own actions. Man, he’s really not in the mood to think of that over, why is he being like that? All he needs to do is get some sleep and it’ll all be good. Eat, sleep, repeat. It’s easy.

Eh…

On second thought, cooking omurice very much sounds like a chore as well. What if he just made rice in the cooker and sunny side up eggs? That sounds like a good compromise. Same ingredients, less wok involved, he can survive that. As long as he takes a pill, he’ll be fine. No need to ask for anyone’s help, he’s self-sufficient. He’s been for a long time.

He doesn’t need anyone’s help, and especially not that of a certain nosy manager he’s going to have to deal with tomorrow first thing in the morning.

It’s not that Sugimoto is a bad person. Yes, sure, she’s still a bit obsessed with Tsubasa, despite how long it’s been since she’s apparently confessed her love to him, only to be turned down because Nakazawa has always been his main squeeze; but she’s mostly gotten over it in years, although that’s probably helped by the fact Tsubasa has gone to Brazil and taken nobody else with him, not even his own girlfriend. She’s hardworking, she’s enthusiastic and she’s always ready to get her hands dirty if it means helping Nakazawa or Nishimoto with their tasks. She’s a good person, dammit, he can’t take that away from her, and the team wouldn’t be the same without her.

Hell, Shun would even say she’s kind of cute with her pigtails and her bright eyes and her infectious energy.

But the issue is that Sugimoto is enthusiastic and nosy. She’s so fucking nosy, all over the place asking people this and that, if she can help them, and that’s exactly what he doesn’t want. She’s well-intentioned and butting in people’s business isn’t exclusive to her in this team (looking at you, Ishizaki): the issue here is that not only can she not shut it once something has hit her radar, but she’ll also make sure that thing is taken care of personally – and by God, Shun can’t imagine making his teammates lose their manager’s time over some stupid cut on his thigh.

Also, how are you even supposed to explain how and why you’ve got a cut on your thigh? You just don’t get a thing like that by playing soccer, Shun’s clever enough to know that. Even the clumsiest of soccer players wouldn’t manage to get a cut this high and this clean on his leg, not even while drunk off his ass. It’s clearly no accident, he realizes, and he has no lie to come up with that’d sound credible enough to get past her, even when taking Sugimoto’s credulity into account. She’s seen too many soccer matches to know he’d have to do it on purpose and slip on a knife for this wound to happen.

Doesn’t help one bit that Shun’s a terrible liar. There’s no way he’s getting past the classic test of seeing if the person in front of you is sweating as they’re retelling a supposedly innocent story. Hell, he’s seen Misaki do it one too many times for that to fool him; and if Misaki can’t pull off a poker face good enough to fool the team, then there’s no way in hell Shun’s pulling that off. Moreover, Urabe tends to feel that sort of things like you’d feel someone’s unease: he’ll ask every annoying question possible with a loud enough voice to make a conviction weaver dead in its tracks.

He almost cracks two eggs open on the hot non-stick pan before remembering he needs to add oil so it won’t stick. He doesn’t have the energy to scrub burnt eggs off tonight (he never does, to be fair, it’s annoying even on a good day), so he loses the twenty seconds that take in exchange for more sleeping time tonight.

He kind of misses Mom, in situations like that. Every time she’s here, she cooks him her signature stir-fry, and they all eat it, with Dad and sometimes their friends. Whenever his parents are here, the house is always warmer, and it’s more comfortable, even if he’s nowadays used to the echo of his footsteps and to whistle a song when he’s cooking. Of course, he knows they’re rarely here for a good reason, and besides, it’s what makes the days they are home the best in the year. He can hope they’ll be in Japan for the high school national tournament this year, Mom told him that the other day, and it made his heart flutter.

The chime of the rice cooker sounds a little different tonight, like the echo has made it more sinister.

It’s somewhat weird, Shun finds. He’s been making rice on his own for long enough for that chime to be nothing if familiar, so he has no idea why tonight it resonates a bit differently now. He’s going to attribute it to fatigue, for now, and maybe later down the line he’ll have some sort of answer about it. At the moment, all he should worry about is improving on his soccer skills, take care of his homework and, of course, cooking his dinner. That’s the most important step of his evening as of now.

Urgh, he should’ve paid more attention, instead of zoning out for no reason like he just did, like a moron. The yellows have completely opened, rendering them as dry as the whites, there are burnt edges all over those of the pan and he doesn’t have eggs to spare. Shit end to a shit day, he supposes – so may as well gulp them down. He isn’t even that hungry anyway. He’ll just eat them, wash himself and go to bed. His uniform can wait until the morning, and so can thinking about Sugimoto butting her nose into his business, and the fact he wouldn’t even mind that much. At least, she’d look at him, and they’d be up close and personal, and…

No, no, he would mind, actually! Just like he’d mind Nakazawa or Nishimoto not minding their own businesses, but especially Sugimoto! Explaining this whole mess to her sounds exhausting. Bah, if push comes to shove, he’ll just find an excuse when he’ll be more refreshed than now. He’ll be a better liar next time, or he’ll just hide everything just enough for a basic pretence to work.

At least tomorrow will be better – and if not tomorrow, then the day after.

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Once again, and for what feels like a vague nth time lately, Shun wakes up in a haze. He eats a breakfast just as hazy, presumably composed of leftover rice from yesterday fried with oil and chocolate (it surprisingly doesn’t taste bad, at least not enough to make him nauseous again). He tries to button his uniform vest but ends up giving up because he’s already spent all his patience on his dress shirt. He walks to school unable to walk in a straight line or quickly – it’s either one or the other. Urgh.

It’s been colder and colder for the past three days, and no amount of hot beverage or soft-boiled egg has been able to fix it – and goddamn is Shun tired of hearing people asking him if he’s fine. Yes, he is, shut the fuck up. You’re a chore for asking something so useless.

Although Shun has to admit, in the privacy of his own mind, that their doubts aren’t unfounded.

The wound on his leg hasn’t healed very well yet: if someone was to see it, or even the bandages that keep turning red without his approbation, they’d question it, and he’d have no choice but to explain how in the hell he got a cut that high yet that low at the same time. It’d then provoke some sort of domino effect, he’d guess, where Sugimoto would get involved because she’s a manager or something (sounds like an excuse), and that he can’t let it happen.

Come to think of it, if he could just get Nishimoto or Nakazawa not to tell anyone else about it, he’d be fine, would he? But the managers are close friends, they tell each other everything, and Shun can’t even risk Sugimoto hearing about it. If she was to learn of it, then…

Speaking of the devil, she just had to be there as soon as he was done changing. And here he was, hoping he’d be alone for a moment or two, enough time to get his crap together and look his Sunday best when he’s feeling anything but… (No, Shun, you’re just good. You’re doing just fine. Don’t whine, if you can walk, you’ve got nothing to cry about – you’re no quitter).

“Oh, good morning senpai!” She says with her usual smile. “I didn’t expect anyone to be here this early!”

Yep, she’s adorable all right, bouncy and luminous and everything of the sort.

“Good morning to you too, Sugimoto.”

Too bad she’s the one person he didn’t want to see, especially when he’s not made sure his stupid cut isn’t going to reopen yet.

“You’re going to practice shoots, right? I can help you get the balls back!”

“Yeah, Imma do that; but, like, you don’t have to help with it. Just make sure the clubroom is good for everyone else to use if they come.”

If they come, yeah, because morning practice isn’t the gold standard it used to be for some. Shun may also be hoping fewer people than usual get to see him because he didn’t exactly look… fresh when he was brushing his teeth (at least, that’s what he got through his haze). He can’t imagine it’s gotten better either.

“I’ve already taken care of preparations for the day, senpai.”

Uh…

“Oh, that’s good then.”

He helplessly watch her face twinge just a little.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Nitta? You look really pale today…”

And here’s why he really didn’t want to come across her all day: Sugimoto has a hawk’s eyes when it comes to things like that. According to his teammates, she used to be oblivious – blinded by her love for their captain, you know how it is, Nankatsu’s very identity was overwhelmingly Tsubasa’s to a sickening degree – but ever since he left for Brazil, she’s become the sharpest gaze on staff. Some say she may as well have been reading into their future. It’s, of course, impossible, but hey, for once, Shun’s willing to let it slide. It gives her an additional layer of depth he can’t deny but be allured by.

Oh, right. He’s supposed to lie to her now.

“Yeah, I’m all good.”

He feels something cold on his leg. He doesn’t really know what it is, but what he knows is that he needs to get away and onto the field as soon as possible before she realizes something’s up. But how does he do that without seeming suspicious?

“You really don’t look like it… Are you sure you’re not sick? You know you can take a day off, right? I promise you, people won’t blame you!”

“Nah, I’m fine, no need to fuss.”

He waits for her response, but all he gets in exchange is her widened eyes and a cold sweat pearling down his back.

“Nitta,” she says in a choked voice that’s so unlike her.

“Yeah?”

“You’re bleeding…”

In a snap of the gaze, Shun looks down at his leg and realizes, in unspoken horror, that the damn wound has already betrayed him: there’s a trail of red coursing down his thigh and shin, tainting his white socks, mocking him with its vicious rusty hues. Yeah, that one’s going to be difficult to explain, let alone hide anymore. Dammit, had he still been wearing his uniform, the black pants would’ve hidden that.

Guess lying by omission his way out of this situation isn’t on the table anymore… Unless?

“It’s, uhm… It’s a cut on my thigh,” he admits, trying to keep as many details out of there as possible. How does one accidentally cut his thigh?

“Stay here, I’m getting the first-aid kit!”

Sugimoto runs out of the main room to get to their small-ass infirmary, which leaves him time to flee out of there. Unfortunately, now that he knows he’s bleeding, he’s realising the damn thing stings, and it’s preventing him from actually attempting an escape – and she’s back already. Goddammit.

“Sit down anywhere, please.”

The worried tone of her voice makes him do the polar opposite of what he should: obeying her like a good little puppy and sitting on the nearest chair possible.

“It’s really no big deal,” he tries to argue anyway. “Just gimme the bandages, I’ll patch it up myself.” She stares at him with somewhat empty eyes. “What? I can wrap a wound, y’know.”

“It’s a manager’s job to take care of the players of her club,” she says as she kneels down to his legs. “Pull back your shorts just a little, please.”

It’s uncomfortable at best to actually strike some sort of balance between showing enough skin for her not to scold him, yet not enough for her to see whatever the hell he’s wearing underneath his shorts (come to think of it, what did he even put on this morning?). Why is he concerned about it now when he couldn’t be bothered when Nakazawa was seeing him almost entirely naked? No real idea, but for now, it’s very much an issue to immediately take care of.

Oh, wow, that bandage looks really fucking red. It was white when he put it on this morning, sure, but now, it’s a nasty amount of red. The thing won’t stop expanding too, like ink on paper.

“Oh my God,” Sugimoto barely manages to articulate, hands in front of her mouth and eyes open wide. “I need to check this, hang on, please.”

“You really don’t have to—”

He has to muffle a scream when she starts unwrapping the bandage, everything having stuck to his skin through a layer of sweat first, then with matted blood all around the cut.

“How long have you been injured for?”

The word hits him like a freight train.

“Uh… A couple days, I guess?”

This wasn’t supposed to make her worry even more.

“This should’ve healed in two or three days,” she says, trembling. “Your wound’s infected.”

Ah, that makes sense. Vaguely so, but it does.

“Crap.”

Sugimoto backs away a little, stares some more at his leg, and her face doesn’t get much better.

“Why did you let it get that bad, Nitta? You should’ve sensed something was wrong much earlier than that!”

Her voice is loud enough to rattle against all of his brain at once.

“H-hey, no need to yell at me! That shit happens sometimes!”

“What do you mean, ‘this happens sometimes’?! That’s an infected wound! Have you not cleaned it at all?!”

“Of course I didn’t! You’re not supposed to wet a wound!”

Sugimoto stares at him with all the disbelief in the world.

“You’re supposed to disinfect a wound! What are you saying?!”

“Last time I checked, when I had stitches, my doc told me not to!”

“It’s because you had stitches, senpai! But that’s just not the same, your wound’s already clean when you get stitches! Did you…” She trails on. “Did you not know this?”

Shun freezes when he realizes what he’s been doing for the past couple days has been stupid.

“Uh… No. I didn’t think about it, I guess?”

That doesn’t quell any of her disbelief in front of what the hell he’s telling her about.

“Why didn’t you ask for help, then?” She asks in an almost emotionless voice.

He’s once again sent for a loop there, just because he’s not sure himself. Shun’s never been too keen on getting help, because dependence has never run in his blood: he hates having to rely on other people for things beyond his control, let alone not being able to decide how much of a hand they should give him. What if he can’t pay them back, huh? Then what? He hates debts. He hates losing his sense of freedom and independence and that’s just how it is. No amount of feelings he can have for anyone will change that.

Sports are unrelated to that. Soccer is a collective sport, so of course, he knows he has to cooperate and rely on other people. Relying on other people for passes is fine. Asking someone else about how to dress a wound is fucking embarrassing.

“I don’t like that,” he spits at her without an afterthought, as if it was the whole story.

“You… don’t like asking for help,” Sugimoto drags through her teeth.

“Yeah.”

His head’s a little hazy, in no little amount due to the constant blood loss, as light as it’s been. It can’t be too good, he supposes.

“I suppose I understand that,” Sugimoto tells him as she starts cleaning the damn thing.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” He can’t quite see her much through the dizziness that’s slowly been creeping up and her odd positioning, hair falling in front of her face like a cascade. “Besides, you don’t look very capable of handling it yourself. You should’ve asked for help earlier.”

The urge to scream at her to shut the fuck up dries up before even his impulsive ass can do it. Instead, he deflates, a slow realization dawning on him: there’s no way he’s getting out of here without a very ugly truths or two coming out of his mouth, whether he wants it or not.

“I guess,” he snaps back, even if it sounds weak (as if he was so much tired than he’s supposed to be, as if he actually didn’t want to bite back when he should be spitting venom back at her).

“It’ll get very ugly, one day, if you don’t take good care of yourself.”

“What would you know about that?”

Her eyes squint. Shit, that wasn’t his wisest move – but what has been, lately? Clever people don’t get their wounds infected by sheer stupidity.

“I was there, at some point.”

The sentence is icy water down his back, uncomfortable and leaving a mark no matter what. He has no idea what she’s referring to, and his slow-moving nerves aren’t making the task any easier, and the more he tries thinking about it and the worst it gets – but like the shiver-inducing trail of an ice cube, he can’t ignore it, not entirely at least. Dammit.

You know, maybe Shun doesn’t know her as much as he’d like to say with certainty and all sorts of bravado, and that’s the saddest shit ever. He’s pretty much down bad for her, the way she handles everything as well as she can, the bounce of her pigtails, the spark in her eyes and all of the spunk he could ask for; and yet look at him, unable to tell if she’s actually gotten over Tsubasa and absolutely unknowing of her hardships. Too self-centred, as he’s always been.

“How did you end up with such a cut…?” Sugimoto whispers to herself, breaking the palpable silence. “It’s so deep, yet it’s in such a weird place…”

He didn’t want to hear that question, he really didn’t – especially from her.

“I dunno,” he tries lying. “Maybe I just slipped on something.”

The sting of disinfectant jolts through him, much more than it should’ve probably.

“Do you really think I’m this stupid, senpai?!” Sugimoto claps back with a snap, but her anger quickly fades away. “This is quite a deep gash, that doesn’t make sense for something to have happened to you on the field, or when slipping. It’s almost like you got cut there…” Her voice softens again, right as her fingers stop on top of his skin. “What actually happened? Is it something you can’t tell me…?”

“It’s, uh…”

Shun finds himself as a crossroad, now. Sugimoto’s asking for answers, but she also gives him a way out if he’s too much of a coward to come clean with all of this crap. It’s no grand burden, after all, and fatigue is a terrible thing that creeps into his bones and gnaws at everything there is to find, until it gets bored, and then you slip into the haze – oh, right, he was talking. Was supposed to, at least.

“It’s fine if you can’t, Nitta,” Sugimoto picks the train back up again.

Despite her words attempting to be reassuring, sounds clearly displeased; the hold on the bandage roll she’s wrapping around his thigh tight. It hurts a lot more than it should, right about now.

“I, uhm…” He gulps, suddenly sweaty, the lies dying in his throat.

Everything feels heavy on his chest, because he’s tired and sick and injured and in front of his crush, she’s hurting not to know what happened to him. How they got to this point, in a clubroom, in a sort of headlock where he really wants someone to know yet doesn’t want to open, and her who seems so sad he won’t let her in.

Maybe it’s fine to tell her.

Maybe it’s fine if she’s asking to know.

Maybe it’s fine if it’s the girl he loves.

“It’s a scissor cut,” he finally lets loose.

Sheer horror curses her face, her hands dropping the bandage roll.

“Someone did that to you with scissors…?” Her voice is as saddening to hear as her expression looks. “That’s awful…!”

She directly jumped to a culprit having done that, huh. Well, he did decide to be truthful with her… so there’s no way back. There’s no taking back. Plus, she kind of deserves to know.

“It was some girls in your class. They had that pair of scissors to cut shit in your locker, dunno what.” He chuckles, because it really was ridiculous, by the end of the day. “I confronted them and it actually did happen on accident. They weren’t reaching for my leg, y’know?”

Sugimoto puts away everything she used back into the first-aid kit.

“Why would you…”

He gets up, despite her worries and despite the pain in his leg that hasn’t gotten better at all. If anything, he’s just more aware of it now.

“I couldn’t let them hurt you anymore. Why didn’t you tell us?”

She doesn’t reply, at first. They’re so close, physically, he can almost hear her own heartbeats, or so it feels – or maybe it’s just blood reaching his head. He’s apparently running a fever and shit.

“Can I… tell you later?” She replies with all of the timidity in the world. “Please?”

“No problem.”

His focus slips for just a second and, as a result, he almost falls backwards a second later. She catches him in his fall, and that’s the one moment where his entire body has chosen to just stare in awe.

“I think we… should get you to the infirmary!” She nervously chuckles and he can’t help but smile.

“Sounds…” his stubborn bone snaps in half, “good to me, actually.”

He stands back up, limping on the side of his infected leg.

“Let me accompany you, then. You sound like you’ve been on your own for quite some time.”

“Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Let’s go, then.”

She leads the way, he follows holding her hand. It’s not just for balance.

[spark1edog]

all the Shit weighing on me rn

-haven’t been Alone in like 6 months

-dog has a Common Health Problem and i have to make a phone call

-mom left her phone here

-starting college in like 5 days

-need to schedule another appointment with my primary as well as my endocrinologist

-nigh constant intrusive thoughts

-left my business account hanging

-no weed (not as much of an issue as it would have been like a year or so ago but still)

-had to fuck up my whole room so that the god damned Bed Bugs could be taken care of

-mom is trying to implement a Chore Chart while i’m already going thru it on so so so many other levels

-not much quick easy food in the house

-have to figure out books and shit for school

-re: room: a bunch of my delicate things are perched precariously in or on other things (room has been messy since like 2003, and i’ve moved like 15 /hyp times since)

-random uterus pain (probably from stress)

-hip pain

-chest doesn’t feel right

-there is always Something that needs paying for

[mrspeetamellark]

Mockingjay MC

An Everlark Motorcycle Club Drabble

Katniss tugged on the hem of her skimpy leather skirt, attempting to lengthen it so she could maintain some level of modesty. She glanced down at the black fishnet tights and stripper heels she wore and grimaced, hating how cheap she looked and felt.

I look like a whore. Unfortunately, that’s not too far from the truth. It’s not like I have any other options, though. It’s this or starve to death, and I’ll do anything to stay alive, for Prim.

After her father’s death and her mother’s unexpected departure, Katniss had yet to find a way to make a living for herself. Her mother was a junkie who had abandoned her and Prim in the throes of grief, leaving Katniss as the only person left to put food on the table.

Prim was barely eighteen, and was in medical school on a full scholarship, so she was taken care of, however Katniss had no way to support herself after having been let go from multiple jobs.

At least Prim is doing well. As long as she has what she needs, I really don’t care what happens to me.

After Katniss was evicted from her sad excuse of an apartment, her next door neighbor Johanna suggested an opportunity that could help her out temporarily, while she got back on her feet.

“It’s called the Mockingjay MC,” Johanna told her. “They’re a one-percenter motorcycle club that owns several local businesses, both legit and illegal in nature. They’re looking for a few new club girls to help out around the house, taking care of chores and… whatever else the members might need, if you catch my meaning. I was a club girl for a couple of years myself, back in my twenties. They’ll give you a place to live, food to eat, and a small stipend if you’re willing to do what they ask. If you go there, though, make sure you dress the part. Otherwise they’ll laugh in your face. Oh, and ask for Peeta. He’s the President.”

Katniss hadn’t wanted to resort to what was essentially prostitution, but after living in an alley in the dead of winter for a week, she had finally given in. She used her last $20 bill at the local Goodwill, thumbing through the clothing racks until she found what Johanna called ‘biker chick’ apparel.

The black corset dug into her ribs and barely allowed her to breathe, but she was willing to do just about anything for free room and board. Johanna had helped her with hair and makeup, and after a long pep talk, dropped her on the doorstep of the Mockingjay MC clubhouse.

As she stared up at the heavy wooden door outside the club’s headquarters , she anxiously took a deep breath before knocking twice.

Here goes nothing. If they don’t take me in, I’ll be stuck living on the streets.

The door opened with a bang, and Katniss gulped nervously as she took in the behemoth of a man before her. He wore some type of leather vest, and his long blonde hair and grizzly beard made him look like a Viking warrior. His blue eyes sparkled as he gave her a long, lecherous once-over, and though it took him a few seconds, he eventually addressed her.

“Are you the new sweetbutt?” the man asked.

“The new what?” Katniss exclaimed in confusion.

“Club girl, sweetbutt, club slut. It’s all the same, really. Call yourself whatever you like. Don’t matter to me as long as you get on your knees on command, darling,” he said with an evil grin.

Her mouth dropped open in shock, and she was two seconds away from running when she heard another voice.

“Leave her the fuck alone, Cato! Let her get through the door before you start harassing her,” her savior said.

Katniss peered around Cato’s imposing figure and stared in awe at the handsome, rugged man walking towards her. Like Cato, he had long, blonde hair, but he was clean-shaven, and his leather vest held a patch on the front that read “President”. He had kind, blue eyes and a smile that reassured her, despite his rough exterior.

This must be the ‘Peeta’ Johanna mentioned.

“Sorry, Prez,” Cato replied sheepishly. “I’ve been waiting awhile for some fresh meat. The washed out hags that hang out here just aren’t doing it for me anymore.”

The man Cato called “Prez” glared at him and replied, “Don’t you ever talk about our club girls like that again. They’re loyal women who take care of us, feed us, and keep us alive.”

Then, after giving Katniss an appraising look, he added, “But this one here ain’t a club girl. This one’s mine; I’m claiming her. And no one talks to the President’s old lady with anything other than respect, you piece of shit.”

And then, he punched Cato straight in the jaw.

[hwascripts]

Domestic life with Hawks (Keigo)

Desc: What it’s like being married to Hawks, living with him, my own personal headcanons and how he is as a husband overall

TW// Swearing, very brief mention of Hawks’ childhood trauma (you’ll miss it if you blink kinda thing)

oh my god I have not posted a headcanon in over 2 months- let’s hope this makes up for it

Masterlist

-Let me just get the ball rolling and say this man will tease you 25/8. He 100% uses his feathers to snatch things out of your hands, or he’ll move every piece of furniture a few inches so that you’re confused but not suspicious.

“Keigo was this table here before?”

“Yeah babe, it’s been there since we first bought it”

“Strange...I could of sworn it was closer to the right”

-Little shit can barely hold back his chuckles as he watches you knock into everything like a baby deer.

-Aside from teasing you relentlessly I don’t think he would ever pull any seriously harmful pranks- he hates when you’re angry with him.

-Because of how busy he is being the number 2 hero neither of you get to go on as many dates as you want. Dates with Hawks usually only happen once a month- twice if you’re lucky.

-But it’s okay because Hawks is the type of husband that won’t ever let you feel forgotten.

-Expect him to fly by your office while you’re in a meeting because he does it so often that your co-workers place bets on when he’s going to pop by next.

- He’s definitely flown into the window before

-Aside from ambushing you at work, he’ll send different flowers to your office all the time with a little note attached explaining the meaning.

-He’s the type of husband who can read you like a book, you cannot get ANYTHING past this man.

“Babe I know you’re mad about me taking all of your left shoes and making you late to work”

“How the fuck-“

“I’ve interrogated class A villains for years, reading you is a walk in the park”

-No but for real it’s scary how quick he is to catch onto your feelings, it’s like a sixth sense. You could be having a bad day at work and suddenly:

Message from Kei❤️💍: Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?

-Man his perceptive abilities are god tier.

-He’s the type of husband that quietly comforts you by letting you cry on his shoulder while he holds you. Hawks is great at smooth talking, but Keigo genuinely has no idea how to verbally comfort you.

-He feels like he can completely let go of the Hawks persona when he’s around you. He’s not “Pro-Hero Hawks” when he’s alone with you, he’s just regular Keigo.

-And he’s a very trusting husband because if he can let go of that persona and be vulnerable self around you, then he has no reason to have even the slightest bit of doubt.

-Oh you thought he was protective when he was your boyfriend? get ready for “mother hen Keigo” after the two of you get married.

-He has so many enemies and now that you’re his official other half he needs to increase your security- he would hate himself if he allowed you to get in harms way.

-Of course he knows you have boundaries- he would never want to make you feel overwhelmed. He’ll just ask the hero’s patrolling your area to report to him if there’s anything suspicious.

-Now that we’ve gone over what he’s like as a husband, let’s talk about the process of moving in with him.

-Let’s be honest, he won’t feel confident enough to ask you to move in with him until you’ve been together for at least 4-5 years.

-He needs to know that you’re here to stay before taking such a big step with you. Don’t be surprised that he’s asking you to move in with him on the day he proposes.

-Hawks lives a fast paced life, never having someone who stuck around for more than a few years. He’s hesitant to propose because in the back of his mind he fears you’ll leave him too.

-Once you say yes and agree to move in with him, he starts to panic a little.

-His penthouse apartment feels so empty because he’s never had the time or patience to even personalize it- he’s always busy working, why should he care?

-The logical side of his brain makes him realize that the two of you will make it feel like a real home.

-Once the day came around he helped pack all your belongings and he just marveled at all your interests- civilians had the free time to have interests whereas he barely had the time to rest.

-He packs each of your belongings with care after analyzing each piece. You end up bonking him on the head because what the hell is taking so long?

-After all of your things are put away in your new shared home, he can’t help but grin a little bit. He was finally experiencing what a home is supposed to feel like.

-The first few months you need to stop him from buying ridiculous things.

“Keigo what the hell?! I said no stupid purchases!”

“An inflatable banana pool floater is not a stupid purchase”

-He has a nasty habit of throwing his dirty hero costume on your favourite rug whenever he gets home.

“Babe I’m sorry, I’ll stop doing it”

“You said that yesterday, and the day before!”

-Whenever he’s exhausted he’ll flop on top of you and ask you to rub the tender spots around his wings.

-Good luck getting him off you if he falls asleep while you rub his back, man sleeps like a damn boulder.

-You have to teach him how to make nutritious meals because this man will literally eat anything so long as it’s quick. As a hero he rarely has time to eat, so cooking good food is completely off the table for him.

-You end up cooking him filling lunches/dinners for him whenever he goes on patrol. He always gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you.

“The meals don’t taste as good whenever I leave without giving you a goodbye kiss”

-He’s actually got a habit of stroking your cheek whenever he gets home from patrol and you’re already asleep.

-Sometimes he forgets his wings are huge obstacles so don’t be surprised if he whacks you with them by accident. Asshole thinks it’s funny when you squeal.

-Nobody can say he doesn’t have a habit of texting you cute photos of dogs he sees while on patrol.

-He’s slowly working out of his habit of suddenly slipping away whenever you try to sneak hug him. His childhood trauma makes him react like that.

-He has the cutest habit of nuzzling your jaw with his nose before he flys off for work. Also has a habit of touching your waist when he passes by you

-The two of you will always cook breakfast together- no if’s, ands or buts.

-It’s one of your favourite domestic things to do with each other and it makes him feel like a normal couple.

-When he comes home from a rough day he immediately searches for you and gives you a “I’m back” kiss- no matter how bruised and battered he is, he’ll always give you a kiss when he returns home.

-When he gets into bed with you he’ll rest his head on your chest and listen to your heart beat, it reminds him that all of this is real and that you’re not just a figment of his imagination

-Patching him up and then kissing his wounds has become another daily ritual for the two of you- even if it’s just a pesky paper cut. He does the exact same for you.

-No matter what, the two of you always make time to talk about your day over coffee or tea. again, it makes Keigo feel like he’s in a normal relationship

-Call me boring for this one but cleaning up after dinner is a daily ritual for the two of you. He’ll fling soap bubbles at you and laugh as you chase him around and try to give him a soap beard.

-Listen, Keigo just wants to feel like a normal person. Doing normal household chores with you makes him so happy.

Hawks is a very loving husband who would die a thousand deaths for you. He’s not perfect but then again, no one is perfect.

He’s a filthy tease and a prankster but he’s one protective bastard that loves you to the moon and back.

10/10 would marry Hawks any day

[sydthetiel]

It’s Sydney shaming time (in jest, of course. I love this baby with my whole heart. As much as she loves food!) 

Because of the sudden loss of appetite a few weeks ago, I’ve been only giving the princess a single scoop and seeing how long it takes her to eat it (roughly 3-4 days.) I feel as though she’s gotten it down to 2 now, thankfully, so she’s feeling better. However, she’s such a drama queen!

I took a nap today. I had an audition, and did some basic chores, so I zonked out after the audition. In that time frame, the princess finished her food. When I woke up, she was sitting on her food dish, all puffed up and barely responding to me. Naturally, this was cause for concern. I got worried and started to panic. When I stood, she decided to go back onto her perch. I took a peek, and she was out of food (she still had some before I zonked, so it’s not like I’m starving her.)

I went to get myself a quick bite because I was hypoglycemic, and I gotta take care of me to take care of her. If I’m too shaky, this little escape artist could slip right past me and get hurt, so I had to fuel myself first. She went about her usual business of screaming her head off the second I was out of her sight, but chilled out while I was eating. I came back, gave her her scoop of food. She went to town, munching happily.

She’s fine. She’s behaving fine. She’s feeling fine. She did, however, guilt trip the shit out of me to make me feel bad because I didn’t refill her bowl the second she finished it. She legit pretended to be sick and made me worry about her, all for a scoop of food. She sulked, as if she hasn’t eaten in days. She has an appointment tomorrow for her third doxy injection, and the vet isn’t in, so it’s being done by the vet tech. I was seriously worried that I wouldn’t even be able to have her checked out, because I sure don’t have specialist/ER money.

This girl, man. Such a character. Such a drama queen. It’s not the first time she’s played possum. I’m still probably going to bring this up with the vet tech tomorrow, but seriously, I did not need to be worrying like this today. Why’s she so mean to me? T-T When the fuck did I get a cat? I’m allergic to cats! She gives Miette a run for her money, I think. Someone should make Syd a meme, I swear.

Photo below provided for meme making purposes, if anyone wants to do the thing lmao I feel like this shows how much she loves her food. Maybe turning her into a meme could help us raise more money for her healthcare. She does need to see a specialist next week for a follow-up, her 4th doxy, and a hormone suppressant (whether it’s a lupron injection, or an implant. Is that the right word? gods idk anymore. This bird dad is way too tired to function.) so that visit is going to be like $200+. AND I still need to get my van fixed and I really don’t think it’s covered under warranty, so it’s gonna be like, $100+ just for that, and more for the inspection. AND I need to get her a small hospital cage to get her better, and they’re anywhere from $50-$150 for a small one.

Make her a meme to earn us both money to survive? Don’t like this photo? Feel free to go through her other photos and make memes of those!

Sydney Meme Making contest, and GO! (maybe I’ll figure out some sort of prize for best Syd meme.)

[conduitandconjurer]

sorry this got long, so keep scrolling if you aren’t in a headspace for a mutual to vent ooc. 

i’m upset for stupid reasons that, i think, go back to bigger or deeper things IRL.

i’m upset that i’ve been too busy as my mother’s sole caretaker OR playing frantic catch-up at work (i’m a professor and it involves a LOT of grading, lecturing, reading, and writing, and frankly extracurricular things like counseling and reporting concerns about students’ emotional or physical safety) to do things like shower, sleep 7-8 hours a night, eat as healthily as i should, exercise, and most of all, do ANYTHING creative to my own satisfaction. it has been more than a WEEK since i have showered! it has been since JUNE since i have even started a complete, finished, full-color artwork. 

yeah, i know the positivity drill: “you create things for your own joy, not to be good at them.” but i only enjoy making things (image or word) that i can do with a certain degree of thoroughness and depth. i don’t like to half-ass anything. there’s also executive dysfunction borne of crippling anxiety and depression, which are more situational (C-PTSD) than the result of brain chemistry.

so i’m mad. i’m sad. i’m lonely. i’m tired. i want to just have some semblance of a normal adult life. i have not had a normal life since i was diagnosed with an incurable, progressively worsening illness AT AGE SIX. and i have let it get MUCH worse (my kidneys, stomach, eyes, lymph nodes, and blood vessels are all so badly damaged that there is no fixing them, there is just praying they don’t get worse, and now all sensation in my hands is going too: i can barely type this) because i’ve had to take over for my mother (no, insurance won’t help us, believe me, i’ve looked into it: she’s on dialysis but somehow “not sick enough”) and i have NO TIME to see my OWN doctors and do the necessary lifestyle changes to make MYSELF any better. i want to take a shower, and have energy to do anything after that. i want to go on a date. hell, i have a new boyfriend, but i find dating him to be a chore that i dread because i am so fucking drained by the end of the week that I’d rather just go to bed. 

i want to be selfish. i just want to be SELFISH for ONE DAY. 

but i know that’s not realistic.  i mean i live in a world where everyone, EVERYONE, that i know, has just gone back to attending major events maskless, even though COVID is still surging. people like me are apparently expendable; we’re “sick anyway,” so if we die, it’s “expected.”  we get left behind and NO ONE NOTICES. 

i won’t be able to do Sheehantober/Sheetober, whatever it’s called, that super cool thing with all the creative prompts. 

i won’t be able to draw/paint the entire notebook of ideas i’ve had waiting for “free time” since last february.

i won’t have time to answer my drafts here, that have been sitting since may.

i won’t be able to even catch up on Discord threads, and I CAN’T EVEN FIND THE TIME TO CELEBRATE KLAUS’S BIRTHDAY WITH GOOFY LIGHT HEARTED SIMPLE THINGS. I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT IT ENTIRELY. 

but honestly THAT DOESN’T MATTER EITHER, because i haven’t had the time to form many meaningful connections with people (aside two lovely souls who know who they are) in this fandom, and nobody inboxes me or responds to my open starters anyway.  plus if they did, i’d probably be too sick or tired to do a thing about it. 

mom just spilled perishable stuff all over the kitchen floor trying to get her own food, so now i have to go mop that up even though my sciatica is so bad that i’m sweating. this weekend, i have to somehow find time to get a house cleaner, inventory and remove extra dialysis supplies (32 HEAVY boxes to cover), find and buy a table with very specific parameters to hold a dialysis cycler, etc etc etc). a day in the life. 

and you think, “can’t you ask somebody to help?” friend, if you say that, you have never experienced TRUE chronic illness, and how very quickly people you are close to become “too busy” to help when they have to interact with (noncommunicable!) illness, and acknowledge their OWN mortality. 

[momoliee]

It’s probably too early for The Meta No One Asked For That I’m Gonna Write Anyway about XQC, alas…here we go

Dr. Xie Qingcheng, 32, male, straight (so far), 180 cm with only one current family member.

Xqc is introduced as a cold, aloof and apathetic retired doctor who has no passions, cares about nothing except for his sister, and unless he’s angry, you can barely get an emotional response out of him.

Through meatbun’s character notes on how he has no favorite food, no favorite color or animal, no personal preferences outside what’s most practical and how he’s very very responsible and rules abiding and honest and sober and serious, and through he yu’s POV that continuously paints him as this heartless cold blooded person, I dare say we were…deceived by this so far shades of gray picture we had of him.

Xqc was born into a finically stable middle class family consisting of two cops for parents and a younger sister that came into the world 8 years after him. When he turned 13, and his sister was only 5 at that time, his parents were fired from their job due to a case they shouldn’t have been investigating going wrong, and they had to move to a rural area. Not long after that, he witnessed both his parents’ deaths and saw their corpses with his own eyes, the site was bloody and there’s no way it didn’t traumatize a pre-teen like him. He then was tasked with taking care of his sister, becoming a doctor despite not wanting to, owing others favors and spending all his money on smth that’s yet to be revealed instead of enjoying it. He got married, not to a woman he loves but to someone whom he thought of as “suitable and appropriate”, got cheated on and went through a divorce before losing full interest in the marriage life. He was finally able to retire (we don’t know why yet) and live a quiet, normal, boring life.

I believe xqc loved his parents, I believe he loved them so much cause in chapter 20, he mentions how he thought he wouldnt be able to live past the grief, he wouldn’t be able to go on or move forward, how the grief completely overtook him. He also mentions how he used to play with knots and handcuffs when he was a child, which shows how close he was to them. So for a child who had a good stable life with two loving parents to suddenly fall from a class to a class, suddenly lose both parents and see their corpses with his own eyes, that must’ve fucked him up big time. I’m talking “when can I fully register all of this” kind of fucked up. But he didn’t have time to fully absorb all of this, didnt have the time to sit down and cry, he had a sister, she was only 5, where will they get the money from? What were they gonna do? How was he going to continue school while caring for her? He didn’t have the time to sit down and grief, to sit down and adjust. For a child who had a normal life and didn’t have to worry much about the money like every other middle class kid, he was suddenly burdened with poverty AND loss, and duty and responsibility. Good bye to the days of playing with handcuffs and knots huh?

You ask me, why does xqc not have a favorite food? I answer you, because many many nights, he didn’t know what to feed his sister, much less himself. Cause I bet that many nights, he would have to give up his portion for Xie Xue, to make sure a kid like her is full. Cause he couldn’t afford to be picky, couldn’t afford to choose; whatever was edible will be eaten, taste and flavor be damned. He had to start working from a young age, balance school, babysitting and working all at once. The last friend he made (I think) was that Chen Man guy whose parents were friends with his parents, back when they were alive and life was good. He didn’t have time to make friends, or go out, or have a favorite color or visit the zoo and decide on a favorite animal. No, he had to study, and study hard to become more financially stable and support Xie Xue, he had to raise his baby sister and protect her, he had to work or else how will he put food on their table? Yet he never lost his soft kind heart, cause when his sister asked for a laptop, he bought her one just so that she wouldn’t feel less than any of the other children.

Xqc had to SURVIVE, he had to make do with what he had and what he didn’t have. He didn’t have time to sit down and cry or process his trauma, didn’t even have time to think of adolescent love or his youthful days or do what kids his age did. And all of that carried forward into his adult life. He pushed his emotions back so hard and had his practical, business like mind take care of everything in order to make it through the days. He started to believe that passionate emotions such as love and hate and lust and desire were all a waste of time, a distraction from his duties, smth that will rock the delicate balance he created with his everyday busy schedule. Emotions will stunt you, emotions will delay you, crying and not going to work today means no food to feed his hungry sister with. That’s when he started thinking, strong emotions are a DISEASE, they will take up your time, cloud your judgement, have you make reckless decisions that you’ll regret later. And he couldn’t afford any of that right? Strong emotions are for the weak, they put you in crutches and disable you from moving forward. Wasnt that what he told his ex wife? If he had submitted himself to his grief back then, where would his sister be? Where would he be? How could they have grown up to be healthy and successful adults?

So this man taught himself practicality and duty and priorities. He stopped thinking about himself, about what he wants and what he feels, and instead started making sure that those around him are happy and content and safe and well taken care of. He no longer had desires or passions, he only had rules and regulations. If a person lost their sense of taste, would they still want chocolates and burgers? Would they still have cravings and foods they’d rather swallow medicine than eat? No. If so, how will they decide on what to eat every day? They’ll simply start following a “perfect nutritional plan” and “balanced diet”. They’d eat what they have to eat, when they have to eat, and in the exact portion they need. To them eating would be another chore they have to do every day to keep their bodies going. Similarly, with xqc, graduating, working, marrying, taking care of his sister and auntie, these all became “tasks” and “chores” that he had to abide by and follow. They became the dietary plan for his life till he dies, the outline he shall follow, the textbook rules he will carry out, no need to think of what he “wants” or “desires”, what will make him “happy” or bring him “joy”. He no longer listened to his emotions when making decisions. Even when marrying his ex wife, he married her cause she was “a suitable match”, not for her looks or personality or anything. Feelings are life’s taste buds, and once you remove them, everything becomes tasteless and mundane, and practicality/logic takes over. He stopped knowing what it felt like to choose based on your preferences, cause he stopped having the luxury of choice ever since that night when he was 13, and he no longer was able to re-teach himself the meaning of free will and choice.

So when he yu, in chapter 20, asked him how he would’ve acted if Xie Xue had died, and he said, “I would’ve continued living as I am today till my last breath,” he wasn’t being “cold” or “heartless” or “indifferent” as he yu likes to say. He was being practical and methodical and thinking with a logical approach, rather than an emotional one, just the way he taught himself to throughout all these years. His almost 2 decades of pure survival mode and severely repressed feelings spoke in the form of autopilot. “I would do what I have to do, what I’ve always done every day of my life so far cause what choice do I have?” Is what he meant to say.

But I believe that he’s a soft hearted, kind and loving person. He never says no his sister, never says no to his auntie, helped that homeless man as best as he could, taught he yu that he was normal and that he wasn’t a monster, believed in treating his patients with words instead of medicine prescriptions, believed that the mentally ill deserve to live normally instead of being locked up. I believe that underneath all the shit he has buried, there’s a lot of passion and love that’s been kept dormant for 19 years.

In conclusion, idk where meatbun is gonna take his character but I genuinely hope he gets to heal, and start having more color and flavor in his life. Start allowing himself to live, not just survive.

[pascalpanic]

‘Nilla Bean (Agent Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x gn!Reader)

Summary: A cowboy in your coffee shop is not the way you’d expected your morning to go, but you’re not complaining; especially not when he’s as attractive as he is.

W/C: 2.1k

Warnings: talk of food/eating, brief allusions to alcohol, lots of flirting, sexual innuendos, I think there’s like a single use of fuck

A/N: okay I’ve been thinking about this FOREVER but I finally went ahead and wrote it!!! hope u guys like it, I’m a sucker for a coffee shop AU as a barista myself :) thx @theteddylupinexperience for helping me name it and motivating me to write it lol

When you started your shift this morning, you’d groaned as you tied the apron around your waist, expecting an uneventful day. Most were. If you were lucky enough to see someone you knew or to have an especially nice customer, you’d consider it a good day. You didn’t know when you walked in that it would be the good day to end all good days: nothing could top this one.

Weekday mornings in the fall aren’t particularly busy. The majority of your customers come around the morning rush, and the remaining ones are usually retirees or house-spouses and their young children. It’s enjoyable, days like these, that don’t require you to dash about the shop.

The only problem, really, is having nothing to do. You clean the coffee grinder, wipe down tables, wipe down everything else, then do it all again. Restocking, usually an endless chore, isn’t even an option; no one’s using anything in the first place. You and your coworkers chat, deep-cleaning the coolers, washing the blender stations, and doing the dirty work. When a customer comes, you’re the lucky one who gets to go take their order and put your task on hold first.

It seems like you’ve done every task twice, even when your manager introduces yet another idea for you to deal with. To bide your time, you prep coffee for later, rearrange the case of pretty little pastries that sits next to your register, and doodle on your station with a paint pen, humming to the soft music playing in the shop.

People come and go, some picking up mobile orders and some ordering from you, some choosing to eat inside and some taking their food to go. You sip your drink happily between customers- a white mocha with caramel.

At one point, you’re in the back and washing dishes when a coworker peeks his head into the back. “Hey, you got someone up front!” He informs you, and you nod and wander out through the swinging doors.

Well. That’s certainly a sight for a Tuesday morning.

The man standing at the register is wearing a painfully well-tailored suit jacket, with gray tweed and patches on the elbows. Beneath it is a white top and a black tie, and the man wears jeans on the bottom half. Interesting.

Perhaps more interesting is the large cowboy hat perched atop his head. The man’s face, below the brim of his Stetson, is incredibly handsome. He has an aquiline nose, a neatly trimmed mustache that wouldn’t work on anyone else, and warm brown eyes that make you smile softly.

“Hi,” you comment as you log into the register. “Are you a part of our rewards program?” You ask as part of your regular spiel.

The man furrows his brow then shakes his head. “Uh, no. No I’m not. Can you sign me up now?” He asks, and his voice makes your chest flutter with the tone. It’s rich and smooth, with a beautiful southern twang.

Looking at your register and back at him, you shake your head. “It’s just an app on your smartphone, really easy,” you tell him.

“Ah, damn,” he groans and pulls it from his pocket. “I’m shit with technology. Why don’t you just… type it in here?” He says, handing you his phone with a notes page open. His thick fingers accidentally lock the phone as he hands it to you.

You tap the screen to wake it and find the background to be a picture of a cute little pig all covered in mud. “Uh, you locked it,” you chuckle. “What’s the password?”

The man looks down shyly. “1-2-3-4. Don’t make fun’a me, I’m like a grandpa with these newfangled phones.”

It’s endearing, you have to admit, and it makes you giggle. “Not a problem. I’m not here to chide you on your security choices,” you shrug. You type in the code and find the app, starting the download for him before handing back his phone. “Can I get a name to start your order?” You ask as you look up at him.

His eyes hold a warmth there, radiating off of his smile. “Whiskey.”

“Your mother named you Whiskey?” You tease as you type in the name, returning back to the main page of beverages. “Some kind of legal name.”

The man shakes his head. “Nah, that’s just what I go by at work.”

Whiskey likes conversation, you notice, and it makes you chuckle a little. “You got a real name then?” You ask him, raising an eyebrow beneath your visor.

The man tips his hat. “Jack Daniels, at your service.” He says and offers you a hand, which you take and shake.

“That’s a lie. You’re telling me your nickname is Whiskey and your real name is a type of whiskey?”

The man shrugs. “My momma had a real funny sense of humor, I guess. My daddy loved the booze so they went with it. I work for Statesman, so I suppose it’s fitting.”

“Ah, the distillery,” you nod with a smile, not grasping the depth of what Statesman actually does. How could you? “Well then, Jack,” you say with an honest grin on your face. “What can I get you to drink?”

Whiskey, Jack, whatever his name is, looks up at the menu, scanning the different beverages. “Well. That sure is a lot of choices. I’m new to the area, so I don’t know the menu yet, and I don’t know the first thing about coffee other than how to make it in a machine,” he admits to you. “What would you recommend, sugar?”

Sugar. Your heart beats a million times faster at the man’s words. You’ve had lots of weird and creepy men call you different things, but you’ve never been flustered and enjoyed it. This man is getting to you, quickly. “Well, how strong do you take your coffee?”

He thinks about that for a second, fiddling with the button on his suit jacket. “Pretty strong. A little sweet, with cream. I usually take it Irish style,” he admits with a chuckle, tapping a belt buckle that you realize is a tiny flask. Jesus. That’s not cheesy.

“Well, we don’t serve alcohol,” you laugh and look down at your screen. “We have all kinds of flavors.” You list them all off, off the top of your head, now staring at the ceiling to recite them all. “And our seasonal drink is pumpkin spice.”

The man raises an eyebrow. “Wonderful and all, but what do you like? You seem like you’ve got a good taste, darlin’, tell me what you’d recommend.”

God, these names are going right to where they shouldn’t, especially not when this handsome man is leaning on your counter and flirting with you as he orders his coffee. “I like vanilla.” You shrug.

The man laughs and stands. “I hate to say it, sugar, but I’m not a very vanilla man,” he says, his head tilting down and his dark, sultry eyes peeking out at you from just below the brim. His voice is seductive, implying something else other than the flavor.

Oh fuck. “Oh, not like that,” you laugh as your face floods with warm blood, anxiety coursing through your veins. “Not vanilla in that way.” Fuck, that’s even worse, you think and grip the counter so as to not physically cringe at your words.

“Not like that, huh?” His words are still so seductive and flirtatious it makes you want to combust. Maybe you will, if he keeps this going.

“N-no,” you stammer, looking down at the menu screen again. “I mean, I just think it’s underrated. People dismiss it as boring, but it’s really just as interesting of a flavor as anything else. It tastes really good with our espresso.”

Jack tilts his head to the side, a smirk on his face. His lip pokes out just slightly to wet his lips and you shiver involuntarily, your skin pricking up all across your body. God, you hope he can’t see it. “I’ll trust you on it, ‘nilla bean,” the man drawls and stands up straight again. “Triple espresso with vanilla and cream.”

You nod and ring that in. God, if he keeps going with the nicknames, you’re going to melt into a puddle here and now.

“What are these?” He asks as his fingers trace over the drawings on the counter, lifting them and finding the pink and green powder of the dried paint has transferred to his fingertips.

God, he makes you nervous, but in a good way. In the best way possible, a way that makes you want to knock that cowboy hat off his head and find out if his lips are as soft as they look. “I draw when I’m bored. It’s been a slow day,” you chuckle as your own fingers trace the crawling vines and flowers you’d painted there. “Sorry about the transfer,” you chuckle and your fingertips brush his, making you involuntarily shudder again at the contact. His fingertips are calloused and radiate warmth.  “Uh, can I get you anything to eat?” You ask and gesture at the bakery case.

The man inspects it for a moment, looking at the various foods lined up under the soft white light. “I’ll take one’a these,” he says and pokes a finger towards the chocolate chip cookies through the glass. You nod and take one out for him, putting it in a little paper sleeve and handing it over. “How much is this gonna hurt my wallet?” He asks, pulling it out from the back pocket of his jeans.

“Give me one second.” You type in your code for your employee discount, which takes a moment.

“What’re you typin’ there, ‘nilla bean?” He asks, brow furrowing.

Looking up at him, you push your visor up your face and smile a little. “Oh, I’m giving you my employee discount. It’s ridiculously priced here.”

Jack frowns. “You don’t have to do that for me, sugar. I’m just a regular ol’ customer.”

It’s your chance, you realize, to say something or stay silent forever. “Well, I like you,” you admit and take the credit card he hands you, swiping it through the machine. “And I’m hoping you’ll at least become a regular. I’d like to see you more,” you tell him with a grin.

The man’s face lights up, even beneath the shadow of his brim. “I’d like that too,” he nods and pockets his card when you hand it back.

A beat of silence passes as the two of you smile at each other, both of you lovestruck immediately. “Uh, your drink will be right up over there,” you say and nod to the other end of the café. “Are you going to drink that here or take it to go?” You ask.

“Oh, here,” he nods.

“Perfect,” you say with a small smile. “Then I’ll just bring it to you when it’s ready. Nothing better to do today,” you shrug and wander down to the other end before Jack, Whiskey, whatever can refute you.

You take the cup from your coworker, humming to yourself as you put some vanilla and cream in the cup, pulling the espresso shots. When it’s ready, it barely reaches the halfway mark of the small cup, so you top it with a little whipped cream. You suspect the man has more of a sweet tooth than he lets on.

Pocketing a pink paint marker, you put a lid on the drink and walk out to the dining room, setting the coffee down across from him. He’s munching on the cookie he’d ordered, looking up at you with unintentional puppy dog eyes. “Hey there.”

“Hi,” you smile and pull out the chair across from him, sitting down and pulling out the paint pen. “I put a little extra whipped cream on top. I thought it would go well with the espresso, make it a little creamier or something.”

As you uncap the paint pen, Jack’s brow furrows as he watches you. “Whatcha doing there?” He asks as you bring his cup closer to yourself and write something on the top.

“Being brave,” you chuckle and cap the pen, sliding it back. “I gotta head back. Enjoy it,” you say as you stand and pat him on the shoulder.

Only as you walk back to the register does Whiskey comprehend exactly what you put on the top of his cup. It’s your phone number, in that chalky pink paint, and a smiley face beneath it.

Jack may not be great with technology, like he told you, but he immediately pulls out his phone and takes a photo. Then he enters the number into a contact, filling out the name: ‘Nilla Bean.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @starless-eyes-remain

[plaidbooks]

SFW Alphabet - Mike Dodds

A/N: Hey y’all! This was requested by @caracalwithchips​! I forgot how fun these are--I know Mike a little better now than when I did the NSFW version, so a lot of these headcanons I’ve had in my brain. Hope you all enjoy <3

Holy fuck, how did I never notice that none of these have an S?? It took Tumblr breaking this post for me to realize.... Oh my god?!

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart​  @beccabarba​ @thatesqcrush​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @permanentlydizzy​  @ben-c-group-therapy​ @infiniteoddball​ @glowingmess​ @whimsicallymad​ @lv7867​  @storiesofsvu​ @cycat4077​ @alwaysachorusgirl​ @glimmerglittergirl​ @joanofarkansass​ @redlipstickandblacktea @caracalwithchips​ @berniesilvas​​  @averyhotchner​ @qvid-pro-qvo​

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) While out in public, Mike will stand close enough that he’s brushing against you. Depending on what’s determined “okay” in social situations, he may have his hand on your arm or around your waist (like at a gala). When he can’t touch you, though, he’s giving you long, emotionally charged looks.When you’re both home, however, Mike is all over you. He has you pulled against him on the couch, holding you to his chest, fingers playing in your hair. Or he positions you so that he can gently massage your neck. He makes up for all the time he couldn’t touch you in public.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) You probably met at work, or in the gym (or on a jog). Mike is incredibly kind and will listen to you rant about something stupid happening in your life. But he will crack jokes about it until your problems seem so much smaller than you first thought they were. He’s also one to take you out to go do something fun after a rough day, if you need it.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)Boy does he! That broad chest and big arms are made to cuddle! His favorite position is on his back, with you curled against his side, head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. But after rough days, he needs something—or someone—to hold onto. Days like that, he’ll be on his side, snuggling into you, his face pressed against you (whether your back or chest).

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Mike wants to settle down, but with someone he chose, not his father (but he also needs his father to at least like you). He’s on a self-made diet, and will cook things low in fat and high on protein. Thankfully, he has a way to season it, so it tastes good. He’s a relatively clean guy, but he’ll do things like vacuum and dishes on the weekends/days off.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) In person for sure. He’ll come to your place—out in public is too…public. He doesn’t want to embarrass you (or hurt his family’s reputation). He’ll tell you why it’s not working out and be civil about it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Mike’s in no hurry to get married. He wants to know that you’re the one for him before he’ll even entertain the thought of proposing. You need to be able to not only deal with his work and his workout regiment, but also with his family—especially his father. He knows that William will make snide comments directed at you, and while Mike will do his best to defend you, he also can’t go against his father.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Mike is a teddy bear! He’s incredibly gentle, sometimes too much so. He has a big, strong body, and he’s accidentally hurt too many people in his life, especially in childhood. When you first get together, his touch is feather-light. At first, you thought it was something about you, that he was treating you like a china doll. But after talking to him about it, you learned that he thinks light and easy is better than accidentally hurting someone he cares about.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Outside of emergency reasons (hostage situations or long stints out of the city), then Mike doesn’t really hug in public. You may get a side hug or something if you’re far in your relationship, and maybe a quick peck. Once home, though, he gives you massive bear hugs (he won’t squeeze tight, not unless you give him the okay).

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Definitely not on the first date. Probably a few months into a relationship. He’s not afraid of love or anything, but he’s a busy man and he wants to be sure you’re sticking around before he’ll drop the word.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Mike isn’t a jealous type. But, like most SVU detectives, he’s wary of other men. He’s protective to a point—he’s not possessive and he trusts you completely—and will definitely stick around you if he notices too many eyes in your direction. He also teaches you basic self-defense, just in case he’s not there.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Again, out in public, it’s a quick peck on the lips or cheek—maybe a kiss to the back of your hand. Behind closed doors, however, Mike loves kissing you. He’s the master of slow, deep kisses, memorizing each other’s mouths while your lungs burn for air. Outside of your lips, he likes kissing your forehead or the top of your head; it’s intimate and sweet. But he loves loves loves when you kiss his jaw down to his chest. Any marks you leave, he can blame on sparring.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Mike’s super sweet around kids! You know that Big Brother program—where only children get to hang out with an “older sibling” (usually volunteer college students)? Mike is that kinda guy! He knows how to connect with children, especially little boys. And they love him!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Mike’s up early taking a jog and hitting the gym. You usually catch him after he comes home (unless you join him). By the time he’s out of the shower, you have a protein shake for him and one of the breakfasts he showed you how to make (the shake is for the day, the breakfast for now). You usually get an hour to chat and catch up before he’s giving you a kiss and heading out the door.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) He usually comes home late—he is second in command (first, once he’s transferred from SVU). If you’re still awake, you’ll catch up on the day, chatting into the night. You know once he’s in bed, he’ll be out like a light, so you sit on the couch and talk. But he’ll eventually get that glazed look in his eyes, and you’ll have to convince him to go to bed, no matter how much he insists on wanting to talk to you.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) It’s not that he reveals things about himself on purpose, but you’ll start to notice little things (like how soft his touch is). When asked about these things, he’ll sit you down and tell you…if he knows the answer, that is. Somethings, he doesn’t know why he does them; it was just something to survive as a kid that he never really thought about.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Angered isn’t the correct word; Mike gets frustrated. It mostly is things about work, but you learn that he has a shorter fuse every now and again. He’ll never admit that it’s stress from his father, instead blaming the cases he’s working on. But you know the signs.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Depends on when you tell him. If he has a lot on his plate, his mind turning, he’s more likely to forget something. He knows the basics (birthday, allergies, favorite color), but things like an ongoing issue at work, you may have to remind him of the details.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) It was before you moved in together; the first night he stayed at your place. A little girl had been kidnapped, and the squad found her body the next day. Mike was on the scene, and it hit him hard; it was the first child case he had in SVU. He was really broken up about it and he asked if he could come over. You, of course, accepted, and Mike flew to your place. It was a) the first time he told you details about his job and b) the first time you saw him cry. You calmed him down and hugged him throughout the night, running your fingers through his hair as he slept, his head on your chest. He thanked you for that, but he never told you just how much he appreciated it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Mike’s afraid that he’s not around enough. As such, his dates are incredible. He’s also the type to leave you little trinkets; either something useful, or something that reminded him of you. And if you’ve been cleaning and doing all the chores, then he’ll wake up super early on his day off and do everything before you get a chance to. He’ll call it a spa day for you, and while he’s waiting for something (laundry or food or what have you), he’ll massage you or rub lotion into your skin for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Hopefully you like chores, because Mike doesn’t do them often. He works so much and is on call on his days off. It’s not like he doesn’t want to help around the house, but if you had a dollar for every time Mike got called away while he was halfway done with something, you could afford a bigger house.He also will do anything his father asks, whether it’s in Mike’s best interest or not.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Very concerned—he has a reputation to keep. Even on his days off, he’s in nice slacks and a nice shirt. The only time you see him “off” is when he announces he’s not leaving the house. He’ll be in sweats and a tight shirt on the couch (unless he’s called in, and he has to quickly change).

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Once you own his heart, he can’t imagine life without you. Sure, he can remain polite at galas you couldn’t make it to, but inside, he’s missing you. It’s just not the same without you by his side, to make fun of all the pompous people around you. He definitely has a well-worn picture of you in his wallet that he’ll look at if he’s stuck at work super late.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Mike knows his father is overbearing, but he doesn’t know what William does to him. He grew up with his father’s expectations weighing down on him, so it’s all “normal” in his mind. You’ve tried talking to him before about it, but Mike will brush it off as “that’s just dad being dad.” It kind of makes meeting up with William weird, because you want to tell him off. You can see how he berates Mike, and you now understand why Mike likes to be praised so much; he obviously didn’t get it as a child.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Anyone that can embarrass him/his family. You need to be able to fit into the high social circles (whether you’re in them or not). You need to be eloquent and polite, ready to bite your tongue when someone says something incredibly sexist at an event (at least until you learn how to clapback without drawing attention to yourself).

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Ever since he was in the Army, Mike normally sleeps on his back. The only time he doesn’t is if one or both of you need the cuddles. It took you a while to get used to laying on his chest—it’s much higher than your old pillow, and it takes some adjusting. Otherwise, Mike is quick to sleep, his arm around you.