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because-of-a-friend · 3 years ago

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Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol.

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you.

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

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rphelperblog · 2 years ago

Text

Legacies Pilot Rp Meme

I am rewatching- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes- some of them are edited from characters or anything that could make it unsuitable for other means of rp- no particular order

“What if the only difference is who is telling the story?”

“You’re not catholic. You shouldn’t have to confess your sins.”

“You are gonna want to stay out here trust me.”

“I don’t want to cause trouble. I just want a way out of my own life.”

“Make no mistake, these are predatory creatures.”

“Sixth grade in my school we learned the states capitols.”

“Everybody gets along with everybody here gets along really well, sort of.”

When we're young, we're taught the distinction between a hero and a villain, good and evil, a savior and a lost cause. But what if the only real difference is just who's telling the story? “

I'm the only one of my kind. I had never let my guard down, that was until I met, him.”

“I’m looking for a kindred spirit in revenge.”

“is that the knife?”

“What’s the actual story?”

“He isn’t the hero of my story, but when i hunt him down, I will be the villain in his.”

“That would make him a liar and I have had my fair share of liars and there was nothing about him.”

“There is no way that the one time I open up to someone they become a liar.”

“We should get you back before anyone knows you were gone.”

“She’s not special... she is just available.”

“He had his tongue down you know who’s throat.”

“He should no better than to tongue the dark lord.”

“find someone else to love. Someone who could even you out.”

“I try not to get close to people anymore.”

“See, a unicorn.”

“There is that was again.”

“No one asked you to bring math into this conversation.”

“i am an equal oppurtinty evil temptres and your binary assumptions on sexuality- they are dated.”

“she has lost a lot and you know that.”

“Speak of the actual devil.”

“Heathans are having a secret party I am gonna break up in ten minutes.”

“I’ve tried to be her friend. When I was five, nine, thirteen.”

“Everyone here has lost something.”

“Do you think that i am broken?”

“They left you a legacy of darkness to work through.”

“It’s a supernatural problem called codependency.”

“It’s just that I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Remember the way we danced in the town square.”

“Just like me to crush on the girl with the most bagedge.”

“You do that a lot. Leave.”

“You are a really nice person.”

“Is this the part where you run?”

“I was wondering if I could stay.”

“I don’t have a home anymore.”

“I am dangerous to people. It’s better that i keep my distance.”

“Better then who?”

“I guess evil is relative.”

“People i care about have a tendency to die on me.”

“I am well aware of your quest to avoid all emotional intimacy.”

“I don’t have things.”

“Your the one who always tells me to go out more.”

“I tell you not to lock yourself in your dorm room and stop watching cutthroat kitchen.”

“File that under the list of things that make sense in the after math.”

“Attempt to make an actual friendship here and we can evaluate this relationship.”

“Giving up dibs on the new guy.”

“They usually do go for her.”

“I heard about what happened to your girlfriend?

“I am nosey in like a charming way.”

“Oh god that was my inside voice.”

“You know.. hot... angry.. damaged.”

“I sort of made a point in my life of staying away for guys like you.”

“Block with your hand. If you had it, I wouldn’t have to say it.”

“You could just stay my headmaster. The rest is not in the job description.”

“Whatever we do we do it together.”

“Could you wait it out with me?”

“We really are sorry about what happened to you.”

“She was the best person I knew. I loved her in a way that only exist in movies.”

“So now what? Am I a hostage?”

“Even immortal demons can find a way to die around here.”

“Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

“We don’t exactly intend for you to remember it.”

“Are you two out of your mind? how could I forget any of this?”

“That’s what it was like our there for people like him and me.”

“Who did he kill recently?”

“Yea, i’ll just sit here alone in the witch dugeons with my thoughts.”

“We don’t accept cold blooded killers.”

“Talking about her gives her power.”

“He used to sell me milk shakes.”

“We blend in just enough. Participate, Contribute enough.”

“Most people have read harry potter so I don’t have to tee up.”

“Everyone here is special in the way the outside world wouldn’t understand.”

‘Then were do I belong.”

“You have no idea what it is like out there.”

“Let’s talk about it over a drink.”

“We won’t keep you here long.”

“Don’t mean to be a dick, but I don’t know you.”

“We danced once.”

“File that under the list of things that make sense in the after math.”

“Attempt to make an actual friendship here and we can evaluate this relationship.”

“Giving up dibs on the new guy.”

“They usually do go for her.”

“I heard about what happened to your girlfriend?

“I am nosey in like a charming way.”

“Oh god that was my inside voice.”

“You know.. hot... angry.. damaged.”

“I sort of made a point in my life of staying away for guys like you.”

“Block with your hand. If you had it, I wouldn’t have to say it.”

“You could just stay my headmaster. The rest is not in the job description.”

“Whatever we do we do it together.”

“Could you wait it out with me?”

We really are sorry about what happened to you.”

“She was the best person I knew. I loved her in a way that only exist in movies.”

“So now what? Am I a hostage?”

“Even immortal demons can find a way to die around here.”“Everything is going to be okay. I promise.”

“We don’t exactly intend for you to remember it.”

“Are you two out of your mind? how could I forget any of this?”

“That’s what it was like our there for people like him and me.”

“Who did he kill recently?”

“Yea, i’ll just sit here alone in the witch dugeons with my thoughts.”

“We don’t accept cold blooded killers.”

“Talking about her gives her power.”

“He used to sell me milk shakes.”

“We blend in just enough. Participate, Contribute enough.”

“Most people have read harry potter so I don’t have to tee up.”

“Everyone here is special in the way the outside world wouldn’t understand.”

‘Then were do I belong.”

“You have no idea what it is like out there.”

“Let’s talk about it over a drink.”

“We won’t keep you here long.”

“Don’t mean to be a dick, but I don’t know you.”

“We danced once.”

“We tried, and than you moved away.”

“Shut down the excorsist would you.”

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“I am going to try that sleep thing again?”

“Did I bruise you? I am still working out the kinks?”

“Dad, this is lame.”

“I am missing a party.”

35 notes · View notes

bluebellhairpin · 3 years ago

Text

Erwin Smith X Levi Ackerman X Fem!Reader

A/N: This is my baby. I’m in love with this more than I’m in love with Erwin. I’d like to, first and foremost, thank @therealvalkyrie, who without, I would not have gotten this written at all. Second, are the handful of people who kept giving me kicks up the arse so I had the motivation to keep writing - y’all, if you’re reading this, know who you are. And third I’d like to clarify the reader’s gender - they’re pretty much a female, however I’ve tried avoiding using anything but they/them pronouns to try and be inclusive anyway, which wasn’t always easy from my end. - Nemo

Summary: After attending a once-in-a-lifetime ball, you meet a Knight, and then a King. Where your attentions were once on the former, the path destiny put before you meant you would marry the King instead. But things turn out to be a lot less simple when war breaks and you’re left in the care of Levi while your husband is away.

Warnings: Blood. Minor gore. Character injury. Implied character death. Angst but with a good ending. Minor manga/anime parallels. Mentions of/Implied Smut, but not real deets. Recommended 18 yrs+, if you want to interact, be at least 16 yrs+ or I’ll block you if I can be bothered. Don’t be the unlucky one that I decide to evoke my wrath on.

Listening to: ‘Before Lights Out (APETITAN)’ cover by Samuel Kim - ‘I’ll cry for you in a dream, now I must rise to be queen.’ AND ‘Serenade’ by Franz Schubert

Series Masterlist

Part II || Masterlist

The task the high court of Mitras had given themselves was no easy feat.

Their King had spent thirty-five years on this earth, the last fifteen of which he had been crowned ruler, and to their knowledge hadn’t taken interest in having a single person as a lover. Male, female, or otherwise.

To him as monarch, being someone who needed an heir, and to them, people who needed something - or someone - to put their loyalty into, this was a problem.

There was the simple solution of passing on the crown to someone else. But the high court was greedy, selfish, and lazy. They knew what it meant to be King, they knew the stress, and responsibility, and despite the power that came with it, they didn’t want that for themselves. They wanted to help make decisions, but not take the blame when they turned out to be wrong. That was something only the King ever had to deal with.

Unrest boiled at the border of Paradis and Marley. The rulers of Marley weren’t able to see eye-to-eye, their unrest only urged on the unease of their people, and all those of Paradis who wished for peace would not be able to get it anytime soon. Lives had already been lost to bandits and soldiers, spouting from both sides of the border, and it would only get worse until the result spilled over into full-blown war.

After all, the weight of these lives lost weighed on the crown, not on the parliament.

So the high court took it upon themselves to help provide the King with a spouse, a Queen. Someone to grant the kingdom and heir, and rule in place of the King if something were to happen before the heir was born.

Erwin was in his study, standing at the window behind his desk and looking at the garden below, and to the city beyond the castle walls. It was a fine day, and all was peaceful.

He’d known about his court’s plot for a few weeks now, and with the piece of unrolled parchment on his desk, he was told they were ready to tell him, and the rest of Paradis, what they were doing about it.

Their master-plan was to throw a ball.

‘All families of high enough rank, or good enough name, are to attend,’ the declaration read. Erwin had been mulling it over for unending minutes.

“What do you think?” he asked, turning away from the day into the darkened room, towards the door when his most trusted, most loyal, and most loved guard stood. Erwin watched Levi as he found his words.

“They’re right.” He said, “You need a successor, and you will not find one both willing and sane in the court. We both know that it’s not something you can ever get from me.” Levi’s voice trailed off uncharacteristically.

Erwin didn’t exactly like it, but he knew Levi was right, that his court had a point.

No one knew exactly what the ball was for, but just like all the other’s he’ll have all sorts of people fawning over him - this time he’d have to entertain each that came across him, if only for a thought. But when all his thoughts lead back to the other man in the room, how was that supposed to be possible?

The only reason you were here was because of the ‘or’ part in the declaration. You came from a small village a half day's ride away from Mitras, and while it had no noble family looking after it, your family had been working the land and living among the people there since your great-grandfather built his first home there.

So you were sent to Mitras with your best friend, Hange, by your side, and the whole town wishing you safe travels and an eventful night at the capitals castle. Even the local seamstress halved the price of her work so you could wear something worthy of royalty - with the promise that if you got to brag about her craftsmanship that you would do so tenfold.

Having accepted the invitation, and given note of it back to the proper authorities, because of your lack of rank (and by their standards a sure lack of wealth to afford a proper place to stay) you were to stay in the guest wing of the castle with a few others who shared your situation. Approaching the castle wall and then it’s interior was a sight to behold, and while you didn’t appreciate the prejudice, the idea of staying in a place so beautiful wasn’t something you were going to say no to.

With imposing spires, sandstone brick walls, and shining marble pillars, you almost could mistake it for being as grand as a cathedral, not a place for someone to live. It’s windows glittered in the midday sunlight, and the gravel road towards your designated entrance crunched under the weight of your horse. You were glad you traded your travel clothes for something a little more fancy, otherwise you would’ve felt even more like you didn’t belong.

After you arrived, people mulled about, busying themselves like their jobs not being done instantaneously was akin to a sin. Your horse was led away as soon as you dismounted, luggage hauled off before you could get two words in, and an elderly man soon approached from the entranceway.

He beckoned you closer and introduced himself as Pixis. You knew him as a governor of one of the districts in Paradis - like a King of his own parcel of land - but he said that while he was here, he was just someone who volunteered to help those staying at the castle learn the ropes if needed. Pixis took you and Hange inside, and stopped at the end of a hallway, gesturing to the two rooms opposite each other as being your new and temporary residence.

You were shocked, and a little appalled, to find the room - your room - was probably big enough to house your whole family, and then some. Gold and baby blue décor, and a chandelier hanging from the ceiling that, in your opinion, would probably be more suited for a ballroom. The bed looked too soft, too comfortable, too warm. You thought to yourself you might need to move some blankets and pillows to the floor so you could sleep there instead.

Pixis left as soon as he came, and was replaced even quicker by maid servants who wanted to take off your clothes and give you a bath.

You didn’t like that very much.

Levi felt no need to be here.

He never cared for these things, he had no feeling for them at all. Actually, no. In fact he did have a feeling for this one in particular. Jealousy.

Rage, maybe, partially because of the hussars uniform he had to pull out of his closet to look regal enough to attend. He hated formal wear. The thing was too tight - it’d been too long since he last wore it - and he almost had to pick the dust off speck by speck. He'd rather not gone.

He’d rather Erwin not gone, and that’s where the jealousy pipped in.

“You look how I feel,” a voice broke his gaze away from Erwin, who was across the room trying to dance with only one person at a time rather than five. His head swiveled over to his side, looking over at his supposed new companion. “Although, I’m not exactly supposed to feel all gloomy when in a place as grand as this, so you’ll have to compensate for me too.”

He momentarily thought that this person surely should be having the time of their life, before remembering that it was actually none of his business. He was about to tell them to go away, when he then also remembered that he was here to serve, and that meant being nice.

“I’m sure I can work something out.” he inwardly grimaced, face yet passive, at his dry delivery. He then prepared for a slew of uncouth words about how he ought to treat someone so important as them at such events, only to be met with quickly stifled laughter.

“You’re doing a great job already,” they said, “But try too hard and you might wear yourself out.”

He didn’t know who they were, or why they decided to talk to him - of all the noble and fair people in the room, he was least of such things - but they were getting under his skin. And not in the itchy, ‘leave me alone’ type of way. It was more wonder, as in ‘why had they picked him’.

Which was very strange indeed.

Erwin was having a rather horrible time.

While usually he was able to simply enjoy balls such as this, now he had the overhanging task of finding a wife, which both dampened the joy and cast a large shadow on the evening. He’d met just about everyone who attended, and not one made him feel a single spark of what Levi gave him.

He was beginning to think he needed to stop thinking, stop feeling, and just pick whoever would be easiest to deal with and get it over and done with. But that made a sour feeling bubble in his stomach and left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Even if he were to get a wife, she should be more than just a means to an end, otherwise it’d be too cruel. He’d be too cruel. He couldn’t treat a marriage like some mission, like an assignment to fill with a signature on paper for once it’s done. That wasn’t what they’re supposed to be.

He’d downed a flute of champagne, placing the empty glass onto the tray of a passing waiter, and had resolved to start a second round of the room when he spotted something. Or someone. And they were talking to Levi.

They were wearing a dress of a lace bodice and silk skirts, with hair pinned back off their face. Compared to others in the room, they looked far too simple - no strings of pearls hung around their neck, no jewels dangled from their ears, and there were no bands of gold and silver on their wrists or fingers. Yet they didn’t look so noticeably out of place. Something else about them made them fit, made them glow enough under the party lights to be able to go without such precious accessories.

What stuck out to him most was how they were not only speaking to Levi - the one person of his guards who had a reputation for being not-talkative - but they were holding a conversation with him. One that Levi wasn’t looking constipated in having to participate in.

Surely, if Levi was tolerating them this much after only just meeting, Erwin thought, there was no reason to not go find out why. So that’s how he made his way through the crowds of mingling nobles and dancing duos to the two wallflowers across the room.

You knew there was no chance you’d be given the opportunity to keep company with the King.

Word spread quickly among the servants, then to the ladies, and then trickled down to the common ladies such as yourself as to the reason for the ball. Hence they treated it like a competition to gather attention more than ever. The eyes and favor of the King is what they sought, and you, being much simpler and a heavy amount less wealthy than they were, knew you didn’t stand much of a chance.

Your rank, in comparison to theirs, was like holding a candle to a burning house and comparing the warmth given between the two.

However there was no reason why you couldn’t befriend some others attending anyway. After all, even finding a husband of someone who worked at the castle here in Mitras was more oppotuinous than anything back in your hometown.

The first full royal you met was a young lady - still a child, practically - in that of one of the Reiss Princesses, closely followed by her slightly older, older sister. Their family had ruled over an area of Paradis’ land much like Pixis, however, for a much longer time. Historia was a sweet girl, however what she was doing here (as a possible suitor to the king, at no older than sixteen) made you have to physically refrain from screwing up your nose. Her sister, Frieda, was just as nice, if a little more reserved.

Though your plans at attempting to make relationships with the servants in the castle went right out the window very fast. As soon as conversation diverted away from business at hand, they made themselves scarce. Even though you held no higher rank than they did, mingling with the guests, apparently, was not allowed. You didn’t want to get them in trouble, though, so you left it alone, and floated around Historia instead.

When you spotted him out of the corner of your eye, you felt a compelling tug at someplace in your chest. He looked upset, and your insides stirred to find out what you could do to help him feel better. So you excused yourself from your prior company and casually made your way over to him to strike up a conversation.

You found out his name was Levi, that he worked as a guard, and yes he was upset, but the look he gave you when you inquired why made you back off and not pursue it further.

You told him in return that your only friend had abandoned you as you were walking through the castle from your rooms to the event. Trading the party and your company for a library stocked full of knowledge and a brunette bookkeeper. You almost caught him letting out a scoff that sounded a little like a laugh.

Levi was blunt, and didn’t joke around (not obviously anyway), he was a slightly sour man, but he was handsome with his dark raven hair and steely eyes. He protected people, with a kindness which not many so obviously had. You could feel that, if given enough time and a chance, that maybe the butterflies in your stomach that took to flight whenever his eyes caught yours, could turn to more.

And yet, at that time, you were not given such a chance.

To your other side a man approached. Tall, with broad shoulders, and eyes as blue as his hair was golden. Just from how he looked along you could guess he was King, but the way Levi’s hand rose to his chest with a bow of his head made you fumble with your suddenly too-heavy skirts to fall into a curtsy. He tipped his head forward in a nod to the both of you, before offering you his hand.

“I promised myself I’d dance with all the willing guests here tonight, and I have not danced with you.” he said, eyes lading over on Levi for a moment that was almost too-long, “May I tempt you, for just one song?”

You thought you must’ve fallen asleep while resting on the wall beside Levi, but even in a dream you’d be a fool to not say yes to a dance with King Erwin Smith.

The first thing Erwin asked was your name. He smiled, not recognizing it as any name of those nobles.

“No, I’m afraid I wasn’t born with such pleasure.” you said, gripping the fabric at his shoulder a little tighter as he swung you around a little too fast. He noted to take the dance slower. “But my family has been living in a town a small journey away from here for years. By now, the family home I grew up in is practically a natural landmark.”

“So to some people you might be. You surely seem kind enough, especially since you tried to befriend Levi.” Erwin said, casting a glance off in the direction of the mentioned. “He’s not exactly a ray of sunshine.”

He twirled you around, then back in again, and you smiled up at him.

“Sometimes the nicest people you’ll ever meet are the ones who don’t look like they should be given a chance. But they deserve kindness just like the rest of us.”

Erwin might have fallen in love with you a little bit there, who really knows. You were a stranger, who - without the opportunity that his high court had given you tonight - would’ve stayed that way. As the night went on, he found himself picking your company over that of anyone else’s in the room.

He decided then that he would at least be your friend, even if the exact role of being his wife came a little while later.

And hence two months later, you were officially back at the castle in Mitras, and this time it was to be permanent.

Over the past months you’d gotten to know Erwin more - enough to agree when he asked to arrange a marriage together - and even that of his guard, Levi.

Time immediately after the ball was spent mostly in the castle grounds, you had a few days to kill before your family was expecting you back. So you explored - mostly alone - in the gardens, the library, and wandering the halls of the too-big castle to look at the delicate oil paintings and vast ceiling frescos. Other times it was spent out in the city, accompanied by Hange, who had gotten tips about the best bakeries and goods stalls from their new best friend - the library bookkeeper called Moblit.

Pixis caught you right before you left, offering another invitation to return, as well as a set of vast apologies on behalf of Erwin for not being able to offer it to you personally. He said the King had taken a liking to you, and was hoping you’d be willing to return in a week, for a week, to keep him company once again.

Who were you to say no?

And so you did. With Hange tagging along, just like before. All your meals were served with Erwin, and any time not spent with him, was spent with the other wives, daughters, and beloveds of those in high court. You felt way out of your depth - something you expressed to Levi in confidentiality a day before you were supposed to leave again, after Erwin had been pulled aside to discuss private matters as you both were on a walk through the garden.

“You get used to it.” Levi said, a hand ever loyally resting on his sword - just in case - but he saw his words didn’t give you a lot of reassurance. “Look, you’re not going to feel right about this. Not immediately. But do you regret being here?”

You looked down at the peony you had been rolling between your fingers. Being here, with the new wardrobe, new customs, new people, new lifestyle. Did you regret being here? Being in Mitras? Being with Erwin?

“No, I don’t.”

“Then it doesn’t matter if you’ll get used to it, or if it gets easier. It’ll be worth it.” You looked at Levi, seeing a flash of grief in his eyes, and then over at Erwin, who was trying very hard to stay composed with his separate business conversation.

What Levi said to you that day made saying yes to Erwin’s proposal a lot easier. You liked Erwin, loved him a little too no doubt.

The woman behind you pulled on the strings of the dresses corset, making your breath suck in.

He was worth being stuffed into a puffy, regal dress, and yet you felt something not right. Something uneasy. Thinking back, and putting both Erwin and Levi side by side, your feelings for them both could hardly be separated.

Tug.

Like parting a room with nothing but a paper screen divider. Even if there were two sides, it was still the same room. The only difference was that your attention had been aimed at Erwin only. You knew that was trouble. If you started thinking about what could’ve been with Levi now - hours before your wedding - it would only get worse.

Tug.

What scandal that would bring - a Queen with feelings for her Kings guard.

Tug.

What kind of name would that give your family - having a daughter who betrayed her husband.

Tug.

What kind of stain would that give to Erwin’s reputation - unable to keep his wife in line.

With one final tug, the dress was deemed tight enough. And you had resolved, in your heart, to stifle any thoughts of Levi beyond that of a Queen and a member of her guardsmen. To push aside entertaining any ‘what ifs’ involving a life with him by your side.

The days passed quickly, and with your new title of Queen, you were expected to fill that role.

You knew nothing about being a Queen, and while the days before your wedding were filled with classes aimed to help you, the days, weeks, and no doubt months also after were likewise filled with classes.

Etiquette. Manners. Curtsying - because apparently even though the way you did it was suitable for your first meeting with Erwin, it wasn’t anymore. Luckily, for you, that meant the time spent outside of such royal classes was mostly time spent with Erwin. Just Erwin.

While your self-made, and self-imposed vow towards Levi had stayed intact, you weren’t wanting to take any chances.

Being with Erwin made it easy to forget Levi. His presence in a room - that alone commanded attention, and you were more than willing to give it.

With bated breaths, and the flickering light from the fireplace and remaining candles, you lay together wearing nothing but slips of clothing - undergarments by any other name. You lay together and discovered each other, tracing lines and curves, scars and blemishes of skin alike. Giving in to the feelings and urges of a man and woman, married, and even in love.

For a brief moment, your thoughts flashed to Levi, and yet were quickly pushed aside in favor of the moment. Fantasy traded for the realness of lips against yours and skin flush to skin. Unknown and naïve to the same thought, for a moment, shared with the other in the room.

You’d heard of the Kings to the East. The brothers. Once, even, you’d seen what their soldiers had done.

A group of refugees from the border traveled through your town on their way to Mitras, after their village had been torched by Marleyan soldiers. Men had died. Women and children taken captive as if they were spoils of war. You remember feeling sick as you watched the remnants of these now broken families travel in order to seek peace again.

Now you were here, Queen, and Erwin’s unofficial confidant, you began to know more. Piece by piece.

The Kings were called Zeke and Eren. One a handful of years older than the other, sharing only the same father, and yet rose to take the throne for themselves at the same time anyway. Apparently a thirst for power, an immensely stubborn and ruthless nature, and a father are as far as their similarities go.

The peace they lacked, and the greed that drove them, breaking officially into Paradis and across the border had been a long time coming. And yet when the news came to Mitras on the back of a muddy horse that the soldiers on the other side of the border had set camp, and then multiplied ten-fold, a lump of emotion still rose into your throat.

It meant a fight.

It meant a war.

It meant lives lost.

Homes, crops, land, buildings, people - innocent and otherwise, young and old - they would all fall victim when it came to war. Because while those cruel enough to hold another's life in their hands didn’t really care if you died a good death or not, war still takes so much more than death can.

War takes hope, and love, and light, and it can take the people you care about most to a place on earth that can be worse, and more real, than hell itself.

Levi hated it. Loathed it.

First, Erwin was taken from him. He blamed the high court, not you. For some reason, he could bring it upon himself to blame you for making Erwin untouchable for him. You didn’t even know, so how could he? You were too kind, if you did know, you probably wouldn’t have said yes to Erwin.

And then, worse, a war, which took Erwin further away.

While it wasn’t necessary for Erwin to go to the quickly war-torn border, let alone fight - he could make every person in Paradis fight for him, and he wouldn’t need to stand from his throne - Erwin had always been the kind of leader to put his life’s worth at the same level as everyone else’s. But his Queen’s life, to him, was different.

While you may have wanted to join him, he didn’t even give you the chance. Then Erwin had directed Levi to stay in Mitras, with you. Trading your personal guard, Miche, to go with him to the border instead.

“To keep the Queen safe in case someone gets past us.” Erwin said.

“To make sure everything will be okay if something happens to me.” Erwin said.

“You both will be safer, and out of harm's way, here in Mitras.” was what Erwin meant, and Levi could see right through every excuse Erwin gave him.

Erwin’s best chance at remaining unharmed while at war was to take Levi with him. After all, not a single ill-meaning hand touched a finger on Erwin since Levi started serving him. But since he was strictly told to stay - it was clear to Levi that Erwin suddenly felt the need to keep you, and him, at an arm's length away from danger, and expected no one to kick up a fuss about it.

Levi was having none of it.

He’d never gotten physically violent with the King, but this once he did. Shoving the blond back against one of the brick walls with such force that a strand of Erwin’s hair fell out of place and across his eyes. Levi swore under hushed words that if Erwin didn’t change his orders before he was supposed to leave tomorrow, Levi himself would break both the King’s legs so he couldn’t go at all.

But that threat remained empty.

Danger had reached the castle in Mitras that night, and in warding off and capturing the girl from Marley who had such evil intentions, Levi had injured his foot - badly enough to have been replaced anyway even if he was leaving with Erwin. The attack also made Erwin resolute. Even injured, he told Levi, he’d rather trust no one else except him to keep you safe.

So Levi stayed. Watching from an elevated window of the castle as you bid farewell to your King. His King. Your head lay against Erwin’s thigh as he sat on his horse, stealing a moment that might be your last together in front of many others. Levi watched as Erwin took your hand and raised it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your glove-covered knuckles.

The cold months would set in soon, but they would not come faster than the chill that would settle over Levi’s heart, because of the longing to be with a man that wasn’t his anymore.

You were Queen, and that meant you had to fill the role of ruler if there was no King to do so.

With Erwin occupied at the border, and pages of letters and documents flowing into you from him like a river, there wasn’t much you could do about wishing, wanting, or asking him to return anytime soon.

The army forces of Marley had fought against yours for months now, and neither side had made ground. While your opposers seemed to have an unending supply of men - and others - who were willing to die in a senseless war that was now aided by the biting cold of winter, that of Paradis had no such resources. Your military force had halved since the very first week, and neither you nor Erwin would give the order to place a call of forced enlistment. Those who offered themselves willingly were but a trickle compared to the opposing tsunami, but even so they were greatly appreciated, and not a single offer was turned away.

With your thoughts half distracted with the war and Erwin, the only other thing going through your mind was running the country - that alone would have brought on a mountain of stress.

Meetings with politicians and diplomats, the troubles of the people, documents needing signatures - ones that could rarely be signed without reading though first.

Most nights after dinner were spent replying to whatever personal letter of Erwin’s had arrived that day, and then tucking yourself into bed to finally let your mind rest. But as of a month ago, even your stress was being able to reach your unconscious mind.

The first few times were fine. A rousing from your rest that left you with the comfort of being awake. Gentle, in comparison to what was to come. But as the dreams turned to nightmares, your reaction soon worsened with it. The fluttering of eyes opening turned to a jolt and scrambling to find something to reassure you that what you saw beneath your eyelids wasn’t real.

One night, when your jolt was accompanied by a scream, the first person became aware of how much everything was getting to you - how heavy the weight of the crown, and your love, had become.

Levi has slowed to stand at the foot of your bed, watching as your breathing evened under the bedcovers clutched to your chest. You felt him eyeing you, trying to perceive what exactly had happened without having to bother you with asking.

“Erwin?” Levi offered, catching your eyes. “You dreamed about him.“ You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat, along with what you hoped were the memories of the nightmare.

Blood, and death, and dulled blue eyes. The crunch of bones and the snap of tendons and muscle. The feel of death, and soft blond hair caked with mud and sweat.

“Come on,” he said, offering you a free hand while the other reached for your dressing gown, “You need tea.”

The trek to the kitchens was quiet, and cold.

Levi kept your hand in the crook of his elbow, escorting you in a manner. He didn’t know why, but seeing you so distressed - so uneasy, with a look of fear that caused his heart to clench with a want to cry along with the welling tears in your eyes - that made him uneasy in turn. He did know that having been avoiding you, having not been your friend, was a mistake. The biggest thing, the most meaningful person in both your lives, was the one thing you had most in common. Finding comfort in that for each other should have come easy.

So why didn’t it?

Much like the rest of the castle, the kitchen was empty. Too late in the evening for servants to be finishing up work, and too early in the morning for anyone to have woken up and started all over again. Setting up a stove with a kettle came easy, to the both of you, and it surprised him how easy you and he could stay out of each other's way while still working together.

“You think about him too.” you said, having sat down at a benchtop to wait. Your observation caught him off guard.

“He’s the King, I’m used to being with him all the time. Of course I think about him sometimes.” Levi said. An excuse if he’d ever hear one. Apparently you were quick to catch on that that was what it was too.

“Do you remember when we first met?” He hummed, urging you to just keep going, “I’ve thought about it, every now and then, and I don’t think Erwin danced with me that night because he hadn’t yet done so.”

Levi turned to you, eyes narrowing.

“What do you mean, that’s what he said.”

“Words and actions have two different meanings, Levi. You should know that.” So you explained. You said about how Erwin hadn’t noticed you that night, how you were easily overlooked, not just by him but also by most in the room. You reasoned Erwin only noticed you because he happened to look Levi’s way, then wondering why a King would seek to lay his eyes on a guard at his post. “I’m no genius, but I suppose it doesn't have to take one to see when two people are in love. Or were.”

“We aren’t in love.”

“I said you and Erwin were. You said you aren’t anymore. You’re trying to say there was nothing at all between you two now, and we both know that’s a lie.” Levi’s lips pursed. He poured your tea, and placed the cup down in front of you before wordlessly going over to a cabinet and retrieving a bottle. He pulled off the cap and poured some of the amber liquid into your cup. “Are you trying to drug me?”

“No, but it’ll help you sleep better, and maybe get you to stop talking some.”

“So I was right.”

“If I were you, I’d be more bothered over the fact your husband could still have a lover aside from yourself.” Levi said, sitting on the bench seat next to you. “And the fact it isn’t bothering you is making me curious, at the very least.”

He watched you quieten. Your hands clutched the too-hot teacup, watching the tea swirl with the alcohol.

“You loved him first, and likewise him you. If anyone would be upset here it’s you and Erwin, not me.” the cup rose in your hands as you took a sip of your drink, “In this situation I’m not deserving enough to be upset about anything. I’m just the one that’s been caught up in the middle.”

“You are deserving enough.” Levi told you. Watching as one hand rested on his cup while the other stayed idle at his side. You don’t know why his words sent a pang of vulnerability to your chest, but there, in that kitchen, you felt known.

Just like you had picked and pulled and peeled back the layers of what Erwin was to him, he was doing the same to you, and you could only guess that was fair. You’d exposed him, and he was only returning the favor. A secret kept hidden is a burden in itself. By telling him you knew was like lifting a weight from the both of you - you no longer had to keep it to yourself, and neither did he.

“And so are you.” you replied, “But the world is too cruel to see it.” He looked at you, unwavering, and those butterflies you felt so long ago settled with the comfort of his attention rather than filling you with unrest.

“Erwin isn’t, and neither are you. That’s why you spoke to me that night, because you do not have the cruelness of the world in you.” That night at the ball, when you first met him and saw someone who might be your husband, but ended with someone you thought you couldn’t have a chance with.

You were suddenly hit with a wave of longing. Images of the nightmare returned, in which the night of the ball had treated you differently and Erwin lay motionless among a field of fellow corpses with a different wife, one who’s cackling laughter meant she would’ve been too happy he was gone. With a shaky breath, you fought back the emotion that would make your voice crack and eyes water.

“I do miss him. The constant letters are nice, but they often don’t feel like enough. I can only imagine how much harder this must be on you.” You looked away, favoring the cup over the stare of your company. “I know how much you wanted to be with him instead of here.”

“He does write to me sometimes, though much less than to you.” Levi admitted. You watched from the corner of your eye as his hand moved over to grasp yours with a light squeeze. “Though talking with you about it, it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.”

Once the tea had been drunk, dregs gone cold, Levi walked you back to your room.

He was originally just going to return to his post a way off from the door, but you invited him inside. You had a vast collection of letters from Erwin, and apparently, with a new understanding, you thought there were certain aspects that he would appreciate knowing about.

So you had him there, sitting next to you on your bed with a box open and parchment all over the covers, every inch of such paper covered in handwriting Levi knew by heart that it belonged to Erwin.

Pages of thoughts, feelings, bared out to him like a storybook, all because you thought it would bring him comfort to see. Levi realized how far you were willing to go to make sure he felt like he mattered. Sharing such intimate things with him, of all people, he wondered why.

When he looked over at you, seeing the same look on your face that he’d seen when you looked at Erwin, he got a hint as to why.

He knew why you approached him that night at the ball. He knew why you’d been avoiding him. He knew why he was here on your bed now. He knew because there was something inside him that felt the same way.

That somewhere over the passing days he started feeling for you in a way that was similar to how he felt to Erwin - a feeling that went too far beyond that of a guard serving his King and Queen - and that was why he couldn’t be upset at you for loving Erwin where he couldn’t. And that was because he loved you too.

“This is one of the first ones he sent,” you said, picking the last piece of parchment from the bottom of the box, “he’s just arrived at the border, but chose instead to tell about the sunset that night instead of the war.” You looked over at Levi, but he was already looking over at you.

“In his defense, I wouldn’t want to worry you with war either.” he said. You smiled, sad and small, and took his hand in yours again.

This time he brought it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss to your knuckles much like Erwin had done all those months ago. The room seemed to shrink around him, and though he knew he shouldn’t he kept your hand close to his face anyway.

When your hand moved from his grasp to rest on his cheek, he knew he should back away, but he didn’t.

You moved closer, he should’ve backed away, but he didn’t.

He leaned forwards, he knew he should back away, and he didn’t.

He stayed when he shouldn’t have. For one night, he knew what it felt like to be Erwin, he knew what it felt like to love you - and he knew if it had to be, that would be enough to last him forever.

Erwin never knew he could miss anyone as much as he did you, and Levi.

The flaps of his tent, and the dull fire never brought him warmth, but thinking about all this being over, thinking about returning home? That did. Those thought’s warmed his heart and soothed his soul better than anything else.

The rain seemed to never let up, and if it wasn’t raining there was snow to replace it, and when there was neither there was always a biting wind instead. He pitied those who weren’t given more to keep themselves warm. The tents, coats, blankets, they all came in at his request to those who needed them, but they could only ever do so much.

There was a meeting, right on the border, arranged between him and the two Marleyan Kings. Hopes of talking out this war were high, and yet dread settled in Erwin’s stomach like the snow did at his feet. The metal of his crown was as cold as ice and just as heavy, and the wind ruffled the fur at his neck that poked up under his steel armor.

He didn’t pray to a God to help him today, for if there were any they would not be looking on him with such favor. Instead he prayed to you, that somehow you would be with him in spirit to help him be kind, level headed, and persuasive. And he prayed to Levi in the same way, that if things had to go beyond words that Erwin would be able to fight and protect like a thousand men possessed without breaking a sweat.

He prayed to his two loves that no matter how it happened, he’d be the one left standing as the victor.

When the time came, he could see it in the youngest King’s eyes that he wasn’t a man of words. The older one was quite the same, if only more patient. Erwin knew that there was a high chance this was a trap, an ambush, even before he agreed to meeting.

For a while his prayers to you paid off. King Zeke almost looked relaxed when Erwin gave a proposition for a treaty. However King Eren had no such a manner, and that’s when his prayers to Levi also came in useful.

War cries resounded all around as the first clash of his sword and Eren’s reached the soldiers on either side. Both groups of men surging forward like waves of red and blue meeting in the middle to fight to keep their lives intact. Though both had a point to make, neither was making it an easy feat.

In the end, when it comes to war, those that win can celebrate a win, but even that comes at a cost. Nothing is bought without a price and when it comes to victory, sometimes, the highest and most valuable price that can be paid is the one you have to pay.

A man rode through the main streets of Mitras. His hair was messy, and sweat rolled down his brow.

In the dead of night, his horse became nothing more than a shadow, a passing black mass as the weight of the horrible news he carried shifted behind him as he made his way to the castle. The guards at the gate only needed to take in his appearance, and the look of urgency on his face, to let him through.

Once the severe nature of the message was told, servants and guards alike rushed to find the Queen. The paperwork you were finishing up on was quickly cast aside as a folded and sealed official envelope was shoved into your hands. Your eyes looked to Levi, who was now standing just inside the door, looking as confused as he was concerned.

Opening the paper, your eyes scanned over words you both wanted and dreaded to hear.

“The war is over.” you said, but hardly looked as excited about the news, and then continued as you rounded the desk and started out the room, “The King was injured in battle. At the very least he’s going to lose his arm, but if nothing is done his life may be lost along with it.”

You stopped in your advance down the hallway, looking at Levi and beckoning him forward.

“Levi, I need you to go to him.” you looked at the others who had gathered, “Take all the guards with us now with you, as well as the royal physician. Only return if he comes with you, or if -” And for now, that was where your composure ended. Your hand rose to your mouth as you turned away, and then levi took over. Burying his feelings in favor of his duty, he started barking orders, saying they were to leave as soon as they were packed, and as soon as the doctor was ready.

Once everyone had disappeared, Levi stayed, grasping your hands in his and promising to bring Erwin back to you. You brought your hands to your mouth, kissing his fingers, and told him instead to promise to bring him back to the both of you.

Levi wasn’t sure what shocked him more, the cold, or how much Erwin looked like he was already dead.

His face was pale, and the bandages where his right arm should’ve been had been stained red. Levi knelt next to his cot on his uninjured side, fisting the blankets and furs next to Erwin’s motionless form. He had to stop still, watching just to make sure the King’s chest was rising at all.

“What happened?” He’d asked the on-site doctors, listening as they retold the tale of how Erwin lost his arm, and also about how he’d received other injures too, the only other severe enough to affect his health being the large gash where a sword caught the bare gap between the armor at his torso and hips. Levi’s next question had venom dripping from his lips.

“Who did it?” For if whoever did this cruelty were still alive, he’d kill the bastard himself. Not just for what they’d done to Erwin, leaving him an inch off death, but also to you. You, now left unsure whether to grieve for your husband yet or still hold hope, and taking Levi away so now you were also alone in doing so.

King Eren had been slaughtered on the battlefield, but as Zeke still stood occupying Erwin, other Marleyan soldiers took advantage and caught Erwin unaware. Ganging up on him like wolves after their prey. But by now they were all dead too, if not on the field, then hunted by those of the Paradis military that still had enough strength to do so.

Zeke though, was still alive, and being kept like an animal there in the camp. None of the higher officials wanted to do anything with him until Erwin’s fate was secure. For if their King died, no one doubted the Queen would order that Zeke did too, but if Erwin lived, he’d be the one to give their capture a possible fate worse than death.

If you could be any more stressed, you would be.

While before you were able to function, now the worry set in and weakened your health also with every passing day.

Before you were able to take meals without having a loss of appetite, and before you were able to take care of yourself properly in every other way as well - without others having to come and dote on you like a child. Simply, you weren’t functioning anymore. With each new hour possibly bringing news you didn’t want to hear, or the relief you wanted, you were left uncertain.

You thought about telling Levi, mentioning in a letter that you were feeling poorly, but you wouldn’t dare run the risk of having him toss between staying where you sent him and returning to you. Just as Erwin knew you’d be out of harm's way with Levi at your side, you believed the same for him. For if you couldn’t pull Erwin out of that gap between life and death, Levi could.

It was like your own heart was becoming sick with prolonged expectation, and letters in return to yours from Levi about Erwin’s state were few and too far in between. You wished for constant updates, instant knowledge if something had happened suddenly. Last you heard, it was still a waiting game. The doctors you’d sent had all done whatever they could, but you had sent them someone else.

Back when you were a child, an accident happened in your village. A worker at a nearby timber mill had gotten his arm caught in between some of the machinery. Everyone panicked, but someone had the sense to go fetch the local doctor. By all standards, what that now older man would be met with when he finally reached Erwin wouldn’t be anything he hadn’t already seen before.

That was what you were hoping for - that doctor from your small hometown would be the one to help Levi save your husband.

Erwin felt awful. Like he’d been hit many times over with a mallet and then left to die.

One of his arms felt too heavy to move, and the other he couldn’t feel at all. There was a pain at his side, and a pounding in his head. He was too tired to open his eyes for more than a fleeting moment. But his will had always been stronger than his body.

The tent was dim, candles burned, but it was still cold. There was a bearded old man at the foot of his bed, and to his side was someone else. Levi.

“Erwin,” he mumbled, moving closer.

“Levi, who is this?” Erwin asked, voice dry and throat horse from a lack of use.

“The Queen sent him. He’s a doctor, and has been a great help in your recovery.” Levi explained, eyes filling with relief as he turned to the man. “Could you go find someone to send word to the Queen about what’s happened?” The man nodded, smiling, and left.

Levi turned to Erwin once they were alone, savoring a moment of peace together before the news spread among the officials of the King’s awakening. Erwin watched through tired eyes as Levi pressed his face into the palm of his hand, kissing the inside of his wrist, then looked up at him again.

“I’ve scared you.” Erwin said, brushing Levi’s cheek with his thumb. “Forgive me.”

“It’s not the first time, and I’ve forgiven you each time before.” Levi said, “But if you should ask for anyone’s forgiveness, it would be that of your wife’s more than any other.”

When news broke, washing through the country like a dam breaking into a valley below, you immediately perked up again. Everyone could tell.

With a few more days of rest, Erwin and those who remained at the border would start the journey back to Mitras, and you awaited their return eagerly.

The cold of winter still bit through the wind, but by now the start of spring showed it’s signs of approaching. Trees grew. Flower and fruit buds formed. Animal parents prepared for their young just as you prepared for the return of your two loves.

When news spread through the city that the King approached it’s outskirts, that news traveled to meet you very quickly, but you were even faster in your haste to rush downstairs to wait until you could see them face-to-face yourself. Your skirts were practically hitched up to your thighs with how much you wanted them out of the way, with how much you needed to move faster.

The banners with the royal symbol came into view first, and as more of the castle's residents came down to greet those who returned, your view of them got better. You saw Levi first, he was riding slightly further ahead, and when he spotted you the small quirk of his lips told you everything was going to be okay.

It told you Erwin was going to be okay.

You were going to be okay.

Erwin was put back on bed rest as soon as he was back in his room.

Most royal duties, including the ones that were left to you when he was away, stayed in your hands. However, you seemed to know he was getting bored with being in bed for hours every day and decided - not only to bless him with your presence while you were getting your work done - but also asking his advice. Many times.

That saved him from going insane, yet at the same time there was still something else that was chipping away at his sanity anyway.

Before he left, you’d barely hold friendly conversation with Levi. Most of the time, when he was around, you’d hardly even look at him. Now that had changed. Now you’d beckon him over to your side, he’d lean over your shoulder to look at your papers and you’d both laugh at something that was written there.

Erwin didn’t know why, but seeing you both like that - actions no doubt caused by the fact he made Levi stay with you while he was away - that made him feel a certain way. A way he’d never felt before. He wasn’t sure what it was. Jealousy, resentment, anger? No, none of those things, and yet at the same time yes, it was all of those things.

You’d come to rest by his side today, escaping the formalities in favor of being next to him. He liked those moments. When he had you all to himself and he could forget all the bothered him.

It’d been over a month since his arm was lost, and the war was won. Something still needed to be done about the captured King being held in the underbelly of the castle, and yet you’d never once brought up what needed to be done. How you knew he needed a rest in more ways than one, he didn’t know. But it made his feelings about you and Levi being together ease away.

But it still nagged at him. Chipping away at his sense until there would be nothing left.

Levi could tell something was bothering Erwin. It wasn’t obvious, from what he could tell, you hadn’t even noticed yet. But that fact something was eating away at him, and yet he didn’t tell anyone - that worried Levi.

On one particular day, when the sky was clear and the breeze was warm, Erwin had chosen to take lunch outside. You were stuck in a meeting, yet still one that would end soon even if it had to be started again that afternoon. On the walk from the castle to the pavilion, Levi chose to ask what was wrong.

“I feel as though I made an error somewhere,” Erwin replied, “And you know I don’t feel that way often.”

“That was very vague.” Erwin hummed, continuing on his walk until Levi stopped, and then he paused also.

“I don’t feel like leaving you here and taking Miche with me instead was the best idea I’ve ever had.” he said after taking in a deep puff of air. Levi glanced down at his missing arm, too slowly not to be noticed. Erwin caught him looking, and shook his head. “It has nothing to do with this. Or anything that happened at the warfront at all.”

Levi had never once felt nor said that Erwin’s gaze had been cold when it was sent on him. He was able to hide the thought, the idea, the implication, that Erwin didn’t feel anything for him at all anymore. That the man in front of him right now, the one that came back from the war, was someone who was almost acting as if he never loved him at all. That somehow he’d figured out what had happened between himself and you while he was gone, and that he was being driven by the right's of a broken promise, that being the only thing running through his mind.

“What happened while I was gone. Why should I have taken you with me Levi. Do I have a reason, or am I just being paranoid.” Erwin wasn’t harsh or cruel with his tone, but he wasn’t asking questions. He stated everything - asking not for an explanation, but demanding the truth.

Levi knew then that they were both on the same page. The exact page, and somehow Erwin had narrowed it down, not only to the same paragraph, but the same sentence too. It almost annoyed him how in tune the both of them were, and when you came along you were just a third - just another rare person who could read them both like they were words on a page.

Levi didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to say it.

“My Lord, Erwin!” you called, approaching and waving at them both with a gentle smile, “Hello Levi.” You greeted as you got closer, slipping an arm around Erwin’s. Levi noted that Erwin made no effort to return the enthusiasm. You quickly noticed too, and frowned. “Is something wrong?”

“Do you love me?” Erwin asked. You looked up at him, stepping away with an even more confused look on your face than before.

“Of course I do.” You spluttered, “What on earth made you say that -”

“Do you love him?” He looked down at you, finally, and you frowned, looking back at Levi before returning to Erwin. You were about to hit him with ‘are you serious?’, but he wasn’t waiting for your answer this time. “I have. I still do. And I’ve proven it to him many times, many nights over.”

“I know.” You blurted it out. You didn’t know why. But there was a look of longing, and sorrow, and emptiness growing in his eyes and over his face and if he kept talking you knew it would get bigger. Now he looked confused.

“How do you know?”

“I said.” Levi took half a step forward, “It was late, and we shared some things.” You gasped.

“No you did not, I figured it out first!” You said, smacking Levi on the shoulder before turning, giving Erwin your full attention again. “I brought it up. I noticed he was moping about you being gone as much as I was and once I knew what I was looking for it wasn’t very hard to pick pieces together. But yes, I suppose Levi did tell me at some point what exactly it was that you two had. What you maybe still do have.”

“You are a smart one.” Erwin finally took your hand in his.

“Too smart sometimes.” Levi mumbled.

“You aren’t upset?” Erwin asked.

“No, of course not.” You waved him off, “Now let's talk about what exactly it was that got you so bothered in the first place.”

Erwin needed a moment to think.

He was given an opportunity to deal with his situation, shed light on it so to speak, and ended up finding out about a few others - all of which he didn’t even know were situations to begin with.

What he did know was that you knew about him and Levi before you both were married. You knew they slept together, you knew they were a secret thing, and it didn’t bother you. Why, he didn’t know, and the answer you gave wasn’t the truth, he could tell.

What he didn’t know was what happened between you and Levi while he was gone.

“So do you love Levi?” He felt your grip on his hand tighten.

“Yes.” You said. Erwin caught a flash of grey as he looked back at Levi.

“Levi,” he said, “Do you -”

“Yes.” Levi said, not even missing a heartbeat just to confess, “I’ve known for a while and I’ve hated keeping it to myself.” You were all approaching the pavilion, and Erwin knew you were all running out of your current time to talk about this.

“And you don’t have to get jealous Erwin, dear,” you said, patting his arm, “I very well know he feels the same way about you.”

“Did you both sleep together?” You choked on your own spit, fumbling in your stride, but Levi kept walking ahead.

“We did.” he mumbled, passing at Erwin’s side. Erwin couldn’t help his mouth twitch into a smirk as the attention drew off him, the vision of it exciting him more than it should, and upsetting him less than appropriate.

“It’s a shame I missed it, I bet the view would’ve been to die for.” Your feet tripped under your skirts and the pavestones, and you had to clutch onto Erwin’s arm even tighter to not fall over. He swore he could feel your face heating up, and he wasn’t even touching it.

Levi’s reaction was just as priceless, the glare he’d sent could’ve cut paper in half, and yet something about him looked as amused as Erwin felt.

You didn’t know how you ended up here. There was no way you were going to go someplace else, there wasn’t anywhere you’d rather, or needed to be.

Trapped between two rocking bodies, pressed between two tones of skin, and watched by two sets of devouring eyes. You felt so warm, so full, so sticky with sweat. So sore, aches in your thighs and hips, and between your legs, and on your chest and neck and arms. From hands and mouths alike.

You were being served and worshiped as much as you were serving and worshiping.

The night ended with you curled up with your head on Erwin’s chest and our body pressed to his side, saving the warmth, as you played with strands of Levi’s hair.

The candles in the room had long gone out, you could barely see anything, but the coals in the fireplace still pulsed with your heartbeat, and the moon still shone through the window.

Erwin had long since fallen asleep, the trauma his body was still recovering from paired with the strenuous night's activities meant he was out like a light as soon as told him it was okay that he did. Levi though, was still awake, and more so than you.

Levi was seeking the heat of your husband as much as you were, and you almost couldn’t tell the difference between which legs in the tangled mess under the sheets where, his or yours, or Erwin’s. While your fingers combed his hair back, your eyes traced his face. The lines around his eyes, the roughness around his jaw, down his neck and chest to google at the scars and muscle.

“I should go soon,” he whispered, unmoving, content with watching you watch him.

“I wish you wouldn’t.” you didn’t doubt the disappointment, nor the hormonal tears, he might’ve seen starting on your face and in your eyes, “I don’t think I’ll like the fact we’ll have to hide you. I wish we could go somewhere where it’s just us.”

“In another life, maybe there will be,” he said, pressing a kiss to the inside of your wrist as your thumb rubbed his cheek, “But for now we have times like these. Eventually the oaf here will be awake for them too.”

You smiled, laughing quietly, and pressed your face into Erwin’s chest more. Levi sat up, leaning over and tilting your head back in order to give you a kiss. Gentle, sweet, slow. He pulled away, as if thinking to go, but then forgoed the thought in order to kiss you again. Just the same, and yet not. One that was just as soft, and yet held a little more sadness in that, for tonight, it would probably be his last.

“I love you.” you said, words barley leaving your mouth before they were murmured into his. One final kiss, short, a peck, and he finally pulled away.

“And for it, I would do anything, my Queen,” he replied, smiling, and leaned up over you to press a fleeting, almost there kiss to the corner of Erwin’s mouth, “Just as I would you, my King.”

You watched him as he left, clutching onto the sheets and curling around Erwin tighter as if that would be enough to make Levi stay. You had been awake for hours now, if you told him to stay, if he did, he might not wake up in time to leave before anyone would see him. Dawn was only hours away, but the thought of him spending the rest of the night alone in his room while you had Erwin - that didn’t seem fair. It wasn’t fair.

He bid you a goodnight, smiling as if to say it was alright. Yet that brought little comfort. You pressed against Erwin tighter, accidentally rousing him enough so that his hand rose to cradle your head. You did manage to sleep that night. All three of you did.

When an apple goes bad, when it rots and wilts and it’s skin sinks in on itself, it needs to be taken away from all the other apples. Otherwise, when one goes, the others that remain will be close to follow. Closer than they were before.

One bad apple spoils the bunch. While that saying is about a fruit, it’s often applied to people.

Deep below you, a known enemy and an unknown influence festered. Not even two months in, and that bad influence was tracking hooks in everyone that it came across.

In the future, people would learn to not have kept such an influence around for so long. To have delivered a verdict and have it carried out much sooner. But too many distractions cause one's attention to be divided for too long. It leaves gaps. Empty spaces. It leaves words unsaid, and opportunities arise for other things, for rumor's, to start to spread.

When a man, still power hungry and already humiliated, finds such a chance to revoke power and favor from the one who damned him, that man takes hold with both hands, and doesn’t let go until someone is lying dead.

Taglist: @xxdragonwriterxx @unadulteratedtreecrusade @slitheringss

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dongofthewolf · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! May I request a number 8 or number 11? She/her pronouns are preferred :) thx!!

I Despise That I Adore You

Abby Anderson X Reader

Prompt: 8. Hands brushing unexpectedly 11. Secret relationship

Warnings: swearing, fluff

Link to the prompt list here

A/N: I kind of decided last minute to write like 1.5k more words for this fic because uhhhh idk but I hope you enjoy (especially if you requested it) !!

A/N: I also didn’t realize you only requested one of the two prompts so I accidentally wrote both LOL but thanks for the request(s) !!

You have always had a very dichotomous view on life; you believed that you either liked a person, or you didn’t. It was a simple notion and a digestible one at that, but never did you think that a touch—a single accidental touch from someone you most definitely didn’t like, could wreck your world this way.

You were at a briefing for an upcoming mission. It was a long, drawn out process that you dreaded, but what made it even worse was Abby. Okay, maybe not Abby specifically, but the fact that she could sit there at six in the morning and look so effortlessly beautiful, annoyed you more than you could say. Her outfit was the same as it almost always was; a simple grey tank top with green cargo pants and boots. Nothing extraordinary or outstanding, but you still couldn’t help but find it annoyingly attractive when she crossed her fucking enormous arms over her chest like that. God, she wasn’t even trying and you were losing it.

You didn’t like Abby—you couldn’t like her. How could you possibly like her when every single sign told you not to? She was stubborn and closed off, always shielding herself from the world with some serious facade you knew was bullshit. Maybe Abby did flirt with you occasionally and perhaps you did participate in it sometimes, but that all meant nothing. And anyways, even if you did like Abby (which you obviously didn’t) it would hurt you too much when she inevitably left you for someone prettier or cooler or smarter, and you didn’t need that right now.

Abby was all types of wrong and you knew that, which is why you were so utterly puzzled by this small, electric touch. It wasn’t even longer than a second, but as soon as it happened your heart felt like it had just been squeezed like a fucking lemon.

The briefing was finally over and you were quick to leave so you could actually get some sustenance for your body, and then it happened. You hadn’t even noticed that Abby was there when you dashed out the small exit of the military tent until you felt the smallest brush of her hand against yours. You paused to look back at Abby and she was looking at you too, and you swear it would’ve taken a damn machete to cut through the tension between those few, fleeting seconds of stillness.

Your hand burned from where it had grazed Abby’s and you clenched your fingers into a fist to try and relieve yourself from the sensation. Promptly shoving your hand behind your back to hide it from Abby’s inquisitive gaze, you slowly backed away with your eyes still fixed to hers. And though there was a great amount of distance between the two of you, you noticed something in her stare. You weren’t sure if it was just your brain being stupid or manipulative, but you could’ve sworn you saw the slightest hint of endearment in Abby’s eyes.

You tried to back away quicker but nearly fell over because of a stray root in the ground that you definitely weren’t looking at, and you could see Abby snort as she tried to hold back her laughter. Smiling nervously, you turned around and bolted towards the cafeteria. It was way too early for this.

Hoping to find some solace in a burrito, you practically ran to the cafeteria, but before you could even smell that lovely tortilla blanket, someone caught you. Abby was breathing slightly heavier than usual when she pulled you aside, practically trapping you against the wall behind you.

“Why are you running from me?”

Abby’s arm was leaning on the wall next to your head and it took every ounce of willpower not to stare at her massive biceps. “I’m not running from you.”

“Um, I think the fact that I literally just sprinted after you, says something slightly different.” Abby used her other hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. “So are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to run again?”

You crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Talk about what?”

Abby gestured her hands awkwardly between the two of you. “Us—this. Whatever this is.”

“Abby, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, but even if I did, it wouldn’t matter. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.” You ducked under Abby’s arm and began walking away but her next words stopped you in your tracks.

“I don’t understand you, I really don’t.” Abby was pacing now, her hands moving wildly as she spoke. “It’s like… sometimes you’re cold and distant and running away from me, and I just kind of accept it. I mean, even though it’s not like I’ve ever done anything to make you hate me this much, it obviously won’t help my situation if I continue to flirt with you. But then the next day I’ll catch you looking at me in that way and-”

“In what way?” You interrupted.

“Seriously?” Abby cocked her eyebrow, her mouth curled into an annoyed smirk as she rolled her eyes. “You look at me like you’re not sure whether you want to pounce me or punch me in the face.”

She said it so plainly that you were speechless for a second, was it seriously that obvious? There was so much going through your head right now, but the one thing that stuck with you was the fact that you agreed with her. Though it’s not like you could ever admit it, so instead you opted for some good ol’ denial. “I do not.”

Abby was quick to respond, like she had anticipated your answer. “You do, and you know what? I honestly have no problem with it. In fact, I encourage it! I mean if you weren’t so confusing, I’d have asked you out by now. You’re gorgeous and smart and a major badass on the field, but I just have no idea what you want from me.”

The last sentence threw you for a loop and before you knew it, your heart was doing the squeezing thing again. Did she truly think you were all those things?

Thinking about it, perhaps your problem wasn’t that you hated Abby. After all, it’s not like the reasons you disliked her were of any merit anyways. In fact, you kind of admired Abby when she wasn’t being a cocky bastard, but that still didn’t mean you could date her. Sure, she was kind of hot, and maybe you found her just the slightest bit charming, but you couldn’t possibly put yourself on the spot like that. Not only was she all types of wrong, Abby was also your superior, and Lord knows the scandal that dating her would transpire.

Finally finding some semblance of composure, you spoke hesitantly. “Abby you’re my superior and if people found out I- we just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.” You internally cringed at your words. It was such a stupid excuse but you still couldn’t help but fear the backlash you would receive for this.

Abby took a second to think before speaking. “Can I ask you a question?”

You didn’t say anything, just nodded your head slightly.

“Do you like me?” Abby’s eyes were sort of wide and almost hopeful, and you felt a slight tinge of remorse because you weren’t sure you could give her an answer. It was a simple question, but something inside you just couldn’t manage to form a proper response.

“Whether I like you or not doesn’t matter Abby, we can’t be together. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’m not going to be belittled or ridiculed because I can’t keep my emotions in check.”

“So what you’re saying is… there are emotions to keep in check?” There was a hint of mischief in her tone and a smile on her face. You don’t think you’ve ever groaned so loudly.

“I did not say that.”

“It was implied.”

Abby chuckled to herself, taking a step towards you with every punctuated word. “Okay, let’s say that hypothetically you do have feelings for me, and that hypothetically I could make sure no one knew we were dating. Would you go out with me then?

You scoffed as you took a step towards her, your bodies now just inches from each other. “Oh yeah? And hypothetically, how would you do that?”

“It's simple, we date in secret.” Abby said it so nonchalantly that you thought she was joking. It took a few moments of awkward silence before you realized that she was serious.

“You’re kidding? That would never work.”

“Um first of all, I’m always serious, and second of all, did you forget that we are literally trained to be stealthy? I think if we can handle clickers, we can handle a secret relationship. Honestly Y/N, it seems like the only problem here is that you’re scared of going out with me because…” Abby took another step towards you, backing you against the wall with her arms crossed in front of her chest. “you’re afraid you’ll fall for me.”

You were utterly speechless. You wanted so badly to respond with a snarky comeback or a cheap insult, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were totally afraid of going out with her. Commitment is horrifying and complicated and you’ve gone your whole life trying to avoid it. But now? Abby was offering you a simple solution and before your mind could begin to consider the downsides to this, you answered.

“Fine. But if we get caught, it’s on you.”

And just like that, your secret relationship with Abby began.

It only took the first two dates for you to warm up to Abby—though you were incredibly apprehensive about all of it at first—it wasn't long before she had successfully charmed her way to your heart. And though you’d never admit it out loud, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t having at least a little bit of fun. It was thrilling running around with Abby like this; late-night dates, stolen looks during briefings, clandestine touches while passing each other in the halls, the way she seemed to be just a little bit more protective of you during patrols. You revelled in the way she held you when no one was around, when it was just the two of you.

It had almost been two months, and hiding a secret relationship with Abby was getting surprisingly more difficult. You figured it was likely a product of the fact that after your first kiss, Abby couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of you. It seemed as though someone was somehow lurking around every corner of this damn stadium, and the amount of times Abby had to sneak out of your room in the morning before your roommate woke up was honestly getting kind of absurd.

However, one major upside that’s come out of this deal is that you no longer despised briefings. In fact—now that you and Abby had this strange arrangement—you almost looked forward to mission briefings. The fondness for them was partly because you got to stare at Abby with adoration rather than anger, but mostly it was because you got to tease her like there was no tomorrow during them.

It was another early briefing and Isaac was droning on about… patrols? Or maybe it was borders, you weren’t really sure. Instead of focusing on his dull rambles, your mind was wandering elsewhere.

Abby was sitting in the seat next to you, her legs spread out while she leaned her toned forearms on the table in front of her. Keeping your eyes focused on Isaac, you brushed your knee against Abby’s just slightly before letting your hand slowly creep closer to her leg. Abby immediately knew what you were doing, quickly turning her attention towards you with a small tilt of her head. And though your eyes were fixed on the man in front of you, you knew she had a cautious look on her face.

A small smirk crept onto your lips as you let your hands make their way higher and higher till it was resting on her thigh. Letting it linger there, you traced little circles with your fingers, noting the way Abby covered her face with her hand to hide her expression before you gave her leg the smallest squeeze. Abby jumped in her seat and the whole room immediately turned their attention to her. Trying to hide her obvious freak-out Abby cleared her throat before asking some stupid question about intercepting the target while you did your best not to laugh next to her. When she finally finished rambling and the focus was off of her, Abby snuck you the smallest look, the kind of look that said “I’m totally going to get you for that later”.

At the end of the briefing, you noticed Abby making conversation with Manny near the exit of the military tent and an idea popped into your head. You made sure to look straight ahead as you nonchalantly walked out the exit before letting your hand brush up against Abby’s while you passed by. It still shocked you sometimes; somehow after nearly two months of hiding your relationship, her touch still managed to send you soaring. The familiar burn against your fingertips from your not-so-accidental accidental touch still lingering on your hand like an imprint—her imprint.

You looked back at her with a mischievous smirk on her face and she rolled her eyes before whispering something to Manny. Walking away knowingly, you were unsurprised when she cornered you behind a cement pillar with her hands on your hips and her mouth hungrily on yours. Abby spoke with her mouth still against yours, refusing to break the kiss.

“You know, for someone who was so adamant about having a secret relationship, you sure seem to enjoy attracting attention to us.”

You smiled into the kiss, your fingers moving to play with the end of her braid before giving it the smallest tug. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Abby groaned and you chuckled at her expression when you pulled away from her lips, causing Abby to nearly face-plant into the pillar behind you. You giggled, smiling at Abby teasingly before feigning an annoyed tone as you turned away from her with your arms crossed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to grab some food now.”

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson imagine #the last of us imagine #abby anderson #abby tlou #tlou2 #the last of us 2 #fluff #secret relationship #yes this was an excuse to openly express my desire to be cornered by a buff lady so she can make out with me in secret #no i will not be apologizing

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whatisthiswritingthing · 4 years ago

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Nothing Changed - USWNT X Reader

Prompt: could you do a uswnt x enby reader where they come out to the team?

Note, keep in mind that everyone’s coming out is vastly different and this may not represent your experience or your preferences.

“Hey, you alright?” Rose tilted her water bottle toward the younger player, squeezing it enough to squirt them.

“Hmm? Yea,” Y/N glanced up from the grass when they felt the water hit their arm.

“That was convincing,” the midfielder rolled her eyes, shuffling closer, nudging their shoulders together gently.

Y/N was sitting quietly in the grass, slowly plucking one blade of grass out one at a time. The team had noticed how withdrawn the younger player had been since camp had started. Really only speaking when spoken too, always seemingly unaware of their surroundings, anxiously fidgeting, leg bouncing constantly. Players had all attempted to speak with the younger player, only for the conversation to be interrupted or dismissed, Y/N doing their best to avoid everyone.

“Want to try again?” Rose pushed more, reaching over to wrap a hand around Y/N’s as they tore a larger piece of grass in their fingers. Y/N tugged their hand away, tossing the remaining grass down.

Y/N dug the heels of their cleats into the ground, bringing their knees to their chest, wrapping their arms around them and resting their chin on top. They let out a sigh, clenching and unclenching their jaw.

Sensing the other player was working through their thoughts, the midfielder let a hand drop to Y/N’s elbow. The muscle tensed under the contact, but wasn’t pulled away, allowing Rose to squeeze it once before soothingly running her thumb until the muscle began to relax slightly.

Y/N rolled their head to the side and released another long sigh, body deflating, “I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Y/N briefly made eye contact with the brunette before looking forward again.

“Well, you’ve got a pretty brain,” Rose tapped the side of Y/N’s head, “so whatever has you so stuck in there must be pretty important,” she dipped her head to try and make eye contact. Seeing the small grin forming, Rose nudged them again, repeating the motion a couple times as Y/N’s grin grew.

Turning and tackling Y/N, Rose smiled from above them, tapping their forehead, “the only thing you need to think so hard about right now, is where we are going for lunch.”

Y/N crinkled their nose, swatting at the hand tapping them, “oh that’s easy, grilled cheese.”

Rose rolled her eyes and began to get off Y/N, “you chose that every time.”

Getting up themselves, Y/N giggled, “then why do you even bother asking?”

“You two done messing around? We want lunch!” Horan called to them as the pair approached the rest of the group.

“Simmer down, we’re coming,” Rose waved them off.

“Good, where are we going?”

“Take a wild guess,” Rose rolled her eyes, pushing Y/N away slightly.

“Grilled cheese,” the group said together.

“Grilled cheese!” Y/N repeated, smiling wide, giving a small hop, jumping onto Sam as she got close enough.

Y/N remained engaged and animated with the group while they were out for lunch, the friends doing their best to keep them distracted from whatever kept them in there head all camp.

Later that night, Y/N laid in bed, locking and unlocking their phone a few times. Letting out a big sigh, they tossed their phone to the side of the bed, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

The young player knew they needed to tell the team, but the idea of doing an official “coming out” just didn’t seem right. This was who they were, they shouldn’t have to come out, shouldn’t have to say anything. But Y/N also knew they would feel so much more comfortable hearing the correct words to describe them, would feel less like an imposter, feel comfortable in their own skin.

Y/N knew it wouldn’t change anything. That they were still them. That the only difference would be the words used around them. So, they struggled, battled with their mind all camp. It’s not that they felt like they needed to come out, but that they didn’t know how to ask the team to change their pronouns. Hence, the internal battle they had, wanting to tell the team, but not knowing how to ask without making a big deal out of it.

They considered just changing their pronouns on Instagram. But most people wouldn’t see it. And their close friends would be hurt Y/N hadn’t felt comfortable to them themselves.

Maybe slowly correct people? No, that would lead to more confusion.

Announce it at the end of the team meeting? No, that was way more attention than Y/N wanted on them.

Sighing again, Y/N roughly rolled over again in bed.

“You are going to sleep on the hallway soon if you don’t stop thinking so loud over there,” came the muffled voice of Pinoe in the bed next to Y/N.

“Sorry, I’ll stop,” Y/N apologized softly, shifting a little more to try and get comfortable one last time.

Megan rolled over in her bed to face the younger player, “what’s got you so in your head this camp, kiddo?”

Huffing out a breath, Y/N rolled onto their back, “I have something I need to do, well want to do, no, maybe need. I don’t know,” slamming their hands onto the mattress, frustrated, as they rambled.

“What do you need to do?” Pinoe propped herself up in her bed, just making out Y/N staring at the ceiling in the dark.

“It’s not a need, definitely a want. And I really don’t want to have to do it, but it feels like a need to me. But I don’t want to make a big deal of it, but it needs to be done,” Y/N continued to ramble as is Megan hadn’t said anything, verbalizing everything to themselves.

Megan swung her legs over the side of the bed, working to get a better look at the distress individual. Sensing the younger player needed to work continue to work out their thoughts, she patiently waited while they rambled across from her, watching as Y/N ran a hand harshly through their hair before slamming it back on the mattress.

When Y/N didn’t continue, Megan shifted closer to the edge of the bed, leaning her elbows on her knees. Getting close to the distraught, but still giving them the space they clearly needed, “what do you need to do kiddo?”

The forward watched as Y/N clenched their jaw and unclenched it a few times, hands finding a loose string on the bed and wrapping it around their finger. Y/N finally let their head role to the to face Rapinoe, “I need to come out.”

“Y/N,” Megan stretched a hand out to unravel Y/N’s hand from the string on the sheet, “that’s something you never need to do. That is something you only do if you want to. If you don’t feel comfortable or ready, you don’t need to come out.”

Of course, Y/N already knew this. But to them, it wasn’t about being ready or not being ready. Or if she trusted the team to view them the same. It was that they hated the idea of having to come out at all. That they couldn’t just be themselves, that to fully feel comfortable and truly embrace who they were, they needed to come out, needed to tell everyone how they wanted, needed, to be referred to.

Y/N looked back to the ceiling, letting out a frustrated growl, “I know I don’t need to come out. And I am ready to come out. I just think the whole idea of it is stupid. Like, you didn’t have to go around telling everyone you were a girl. Why the fuck, do I have to go around tell everyone I’m not!”

Megan kept her hand on Y/N’s wrist, but leaned back, understanding what the real issue was. That Y/N wanted to come out but didn’t want to come out. Didn’t want the production of that seemed to come with it. The awkwardness of explaining themselves, answering questions, the feeling of having to defend themselves, justify who they were.

“I understand,” Megan nodded, Y/N rolled their head to face the forward, “what do you want to do kiddo?”

Y/N shifted, moving to fully sitting up in the bed, “that’s the problem,” they grunted out, “I want everyone to know, but I don’t know how to tell everyone. I don’t know what I want to do.”

“You’re right Y/N, it’s not fair that you have to formally come out to anyone. But this team is full of open minded, progressive people, they aren’t going judge you.”

“It’s not that. I know they won’t, I just don’t know how to do tell them. I just want to say it and move on with it,” Y/N explained. They weren’t worried that any of them wouldn’t accept them, they just knew how eccentric some of the team could be, and how many questions they might have.

“I got you kid, let’s get some sleep and worry about it tomorrow. This isn’t something you need to stress about. You’re still you, you’re just letting us understand you in a different way.”

Y/N released a slow breath, working to ease themselves to a reclined position in bed, some of the thoughts eased for the time being. Megan validating that they weren’t overthinking for no reason, that the thoughts they had been struggling with for the last week were normal.

“I guess you’re probably right.”

“Of course I’m right! Now go to sleep, we can figure this out tomorrow, but I need my beauty sleep,” Megan joked, flopping herself back in bed.

The next morning, the pair made their way to the banquet room for breakfast, most of the team already there. The split off, each going to their table.

Before Pinoe sat down though, she stood behind her chair and called out to the room, gaining everyone’s attention.

“Hey team! As most of you know, I am a girl, I have known this my entire life, but I feel that it is important to tell you. I would appreciate you all continuing to use she, her pronouns,” she moved her gaze around the room as she spoke, pausing to make eye contact with Y/N.

A majority of the players watched, confused, as the forward spoke. Some tilted their heads to the side, eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s great P, we can keep doing that,” Ashlyn nodded next to her at the table.

Pinoe remained standing at the table, looking around the room. Peoples faces remained neutral, no one reacting to the information.

“Why did you feel the need to tell us this now?” Christen spoke up across the room.

“I just realized I had never told you guys, and that it isn’t fair that some people have to come out and some don’t,” she made eye contact with Y/N, hoping she was saying the right thing, encouraging them to take the opening given.

Y/N rolled her fingers on the table, biting their lip. They understood what Megan was doing, was normalizing the coming out, normalizing announcing pronouns.

Pushing themselves up, Y/N let took a steadying breath, “I, umm, I’m,” they clenched their jaw, creasing their eye brows, attempting to work through their words, squaring their shoulders they continued, “I’m non-binary, I prefer they or them pronouns.”

Y/N kept it short, glancing around the room, eyes drifting across their closest friends. None of them holding any animosity, all soft and accepting. Several giving Y/N large smiles.

“Thank you for telling us Y/N,” Tierna spoke up next to the younger player, “we will all start using they, them pronouns for you,” she reached up and gripped Y/N’s tense fist.

“Of course, we can do that kiddo,” Megan smiled at them, still standing at her own table.

“And if we ever use any wording that you don’t feel comfortable with, please tell us so we can use the right words,” Ali smiled reassuringly.

Y/N nodded, mostly to themselves, taking another glance around the room, they sat back down at the table. Tierna gave them another squeeze, everyone else giving them a smile.

“Is this what had you so stuck in your head all week?” Rose asked softly.

Y/N gave a small, shy nod, “I wanted to tell you guys, but didn’t want to make a big deal about it.”

“We understand Y/N,” Lindsey nodded next to the brunette.

“And you can tell us anything you want, anything you need us to do or change,” Sam encouraged too.

“I don’t want anything to change. It was just something I needed to tell you guys. I just needed you guys to understand that girl just didn’t fit with me.”

“Alright dude, everyone stays the same, we’ll just change our wording,” Sonnett smiled too.

Y/N looked around the table, and then the room. Everyone had gone back to eating breakfast. Nothing changed, nothing needed to change. Y/N had been able to everyone what they needed to tell them, and everyone just accepted it. No intrusive questions, no unneeded drawn-out explanation, exactly how they wanted it to be; just said what they needed to say and that was it.

#uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines

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onyxiana-is-obsessed · 4 years ago

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Love Us Not Him | Shoto Todoroki x Reader x Momo Yaoyorozu

Warnings: TodoMomo x Reader, angst, long Pronouns used; She/her Length: 8.2k

Summary: You find out Todoroki and Momo are dating and do your best to avoid them. But they just won't leave you alone... and how can you say no to the people you're in love with.

Full Name: (y/f/n) Quirk: (y/q) Age: 17 Hero Name: (h/n)

Shoto Todoroki and Momo Yaoyorozu seemed like they were made for each other. Both were respectful, intelligent, wealthy, reserved, attractive, had powerful quirks, and shared the same personality. All of their classmates were overjoyed when they found out the two had made it official. Well... almost all.

(y/f/n) wasn't happy at all when she found out both of the people she liked were now in a relationship. However, she put on her best act and pretended to be just as happy as her classmates.

What luck, how brutal could the world get? She was already sure that Momo was into guys and that Shoto didn't like her that way, but for them to be with each other? It just seemed like some cruel punishment.

But, it made sense. (f/n) wasn't the richest, she wasn't the smartest, she wasn't the strongest, and she was nothing like Momo and Shoto's friend groups. Shoto often hung out with Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka. Similarly, Momo spent quite a bit of time with them, along with Hagakure, Jirou, and Tsuyu. However, (f/n) spent most of her time with Bakugou and his friends. Kirishima and Kaminari's personality just melded well with hers. They were cheerful and so was she, to an extent.

So most of her time was spent away from Shoto and Momo, while they were constantly around each other. They often paired up together for projects or sparring practice, they even trained together outside of school. (f/n) would often see them and feel that twinge of jealousy but she always hid it, not like she had another choice. If they knew how she'd felt, they'd probably avoid her. They were already happy with each other, so who was she to try to wreck their relationship?

Shoto and Momo were in his dorm room, cuddling on his bed just talking about random things after a long day of training. Somehow, their conversation went from talking about weird quirks to (f/n). She had a rather odd quirk which was (y/q). Something they both actually liked.

"You know..." Momo said, looking up at Shoto. "She's really pretty. Maybe... it's because we can only watch from a distance, but she's always got this glow around her." Shoto nodded. They weren't insecure about their relationship, and they trusted and loved each other fully. So, if one of them found someone attractive, they'd point it out instead of hiding or lying about it.

"That's true," Shoto said, as his arms tightened around Momo. "She's always so... cheerful. We should try to talk to her more often."

"We should. If she'd like to. She's usually with Bakugou and his friends and doesn't really ever seem to hang out with our group." The ravenette answered.

"That's true. Momo?" Shoto started, letting go of her and sitting up, making his girlfriend do the same. He looked down, unsure of how to bring the topic up to her.

"What's wrong, Sho?" She asked, her voice gentle and sweet. Sure, they didn't mind pointing out who was attractive in their relationship, but that didn't mean it would be ok to tell each other they'd fallen for someone else.

"I... like her. A lot." He said, his voice wavering, uncertain and scared. Momo was silent, which prompted him to think she'd gotten upset. His mismatched eyes met hers, which were wide with shock. "Momo?"

"Y-You too?" Now it was his turn to be shocked.

"Wait, what?"

"I like her too!" Momo said, taking his hands. "I-I just didn't know how to bring it up to you." Shoto sighed, feeling a weight lift off his chest as he took Momo's hands and kissed her knuckles.

"You think... she'd want to be a part of our relationship?" He asked, softly.

"Like all of us?" Shoto nodded. "Hmm... I-I don't know. I'm not even sure if she likes us that way." The two laid back down, feeling so much more comfortable with each other now. This time talking about (f/n) for the rest of the night, until they fell asleep.

(f/n) walked into the common room, seeing her friends sitting on the couch, talking. She smiled, skipping over to Kaminari and held out her charger.

"Can I get a charge, Denki?" He nodded, moving aside so she could sit in between him and Kirishima.

"Weren't you in your room before this?" Kirishima asked, earning a nod from his (h/c) haired friend. "Then why didn't you just charge your phone there?"

"Because!" (f/n) giggled as Kaminari laid his head on her lap. "It's so cool that Denki can do it! Don't you think?" Both Kaminari and Kirishima laughed at her words.

"Well thanks, love!" Kaminari winked, making her fan her face.

"Oh, did you see that? Chargebolt just winked at me." Kirishima touched the back of his hand to his head and closed his eyes.

"What a lucky girl! If only I, Eijiro Kirishima, was a beautiful girl like you, (f/n)! He'd wink at me too!"

"I thought you wanted to be a manly man." (f/n) said, through her giggles.

"Well, I can be a manly woman!" Kirishima defended, crossing his arms.

"The manliest of them all." Kaminari commented as the trio got comfortable with each other.

Shoto, and Momo walked into the common room with Midoriya and Uraraka right behind them. The couple's eyes landed on (f/n), who seemed to be having a great time with Kaminari and Kirishima. They frowned a little before heading to the kitchen with their friends. They'd come downstairs to get some food and hadn't expected to run into (f/n).

A few nights ago, Momo and Shoto had admitted to each other that they were romantically attracted to their classmate, (f/n). Since then, Momo and Shoto would get flustered at the mere mention of her name. When they saw her, their hearts would speed up, their hands would get clammy, their minds would become fuzzy, not to mention the furious blushes on their cheeks.

After admitting they liked her and wanted her in their relationship, they came up with different ways they could ask her out. Or at least get to know her more, since they weren't super great friends. The only problem was, they could never find (f/n) alone. She was always around Kaminari, Kirishima, Bakugou, Sero, or Ashido.

During their little adventure to the kitchen, (f/n) had joined them, but neither Momo nor Shoto knew. So, Midoriya took his chance since he and Uraraka knew about their little crush on (f/n). Something they found out a couple of days ago when both Momo and Shoto came to them for help.

"Oh by the way," He called, earning everyone's attention. "I don't think I'll be able to train with you guys tomorrow, something came up! However, (l/n), why don't you train with them?" Momo's face erupted in red and Shoto's eyes widened a bit at their shy friend taking control of the situation. (f/n) looked conflicted and tried to reject the idea, since being around them only hurt her more.

"O-Oh, I c-can't, I'm not sure-"

"Come on, (l/n)!" Uraraka smiled. "It'll be fun and they don't train for too long. Just two hours. Plus, training is super important!" Figuring it would be rude to say no now, (f/n) quietly sighed in defeat.

"Sure, what time?"

"7? We usually train later at night," Shoto said, even though they had no plans to train for the next few days. "Is that alright with you?" (f/n) nodded.

"Yeah, sounds good." Before anyone could say anything, Kaminari ran into the kitchen.

"(f/n)! Kirishima's gonna go steal and hide Bakugou's homework. Wanna come watch?" (f/n)'s face lit up and she laughed nodding.

"Absolutely! See you two tomorrow!" She called before running away with Kaminari. As they turned a corner, Kaminari grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Wh-what?" She asked, looking at him.

"You like them. Both of them, right?" (f/n)'s eyes widened as she tried to shake her head.

"W-we should go to K-Kiri-" Kaminari shook his head.

"I lied. Kirishima went to go find Sero and Ashido. You like Todoroki and Yaoyorozu right?" (f/n) looked away, a small frown forming on her face, before she nodded. "I'm sorry... that it didn't work out."

"H-how did you know?"

"I saw the way you looked at them." He answered. "You get flustered every time one of them talks to you, but when you see them together, you get angry. You get that glint in your eyes." (f/n) sniffled as the emotional barrier she tried to keep closed burst open. Tears slid down her cheeks, slowly at first, but soon became a waterfall.

"Y-You're s-supposed to b-be the du-dumb one." She sobbed out, making him wrap his arms around her, rubbing her back.

"It'll be ok, (f/n)." He whispered, trying to soothe his friend. Her arms wrapped around his waist, her hands clutching his shirt as she tried to stop herself.

"E-easy f-for yo-you to s-say. Ji-Jirou's single." Kaminari didn't say anything, just tightening his arms around her.

After about five minutes, Kaminari took (f/n) back to her dorm room, where he stayed with her, rubbing her back as she cried, until she was much calmer.

"It hurts every time I see them together," (f/n) started, taking the tissue Kaminari held out to her. "I... don't know how, since I don't know them too well, but from what we've seen since the beginning, they've always amazed me. I've always wanted to be near them and before I knew it... I wanted to be with them. You know, just before we found out they were together... I was thinking about confessing to one of them." She laughed bitterly. "I should've known... they're so far outta my league." Kaminari shook his head.

"Don't say that. You're totally outta their league! You're outta everyone's league!" He smiled, making her scoff.

"That's no-"

"Yes, it is. Ask Bakugou, even he'll tell you that's true." Now, it was just funny.

"Now you're reaching."

"Like I said, ask him." (f/n) rolled her eyes, but was ready to prove Kaminari wrong. Besides, she needed a distraction. "You owe me after he agrees with me."

"Let's make a bet then," Kaminari said. "If I'm right, you owe me a favor. If you're right, I'll owe you a favor?" (f/n) nodded.

"Deal." (f/n) took her phone out, going into her contacts and finding Bakugou's number. She sniffled and put the call on speaker, while the two waited.

"What, dumbass?" He asked in his usual grumpy tone.

"Um, hey Bakugou." He could immediately tell she'd been crying. "Kaminari says I'm out of everyone's league."

"Isn't she?" Kaminari asked.

"She's definitely outta your league, Pikachu." He answered, gruffly.

"I told you-"

"No," (f/n) interrupted, sniffling. "He said I was out of your league. So you owe me."

"Bakugou, tell her she's out of everyone's league."

"That's cheating!" (f/n) said.

"No, it's not, because Bakugou would never say it unless it was true. He doesn't listen to me anyway-" They were interrupted by knocking on the door, both looking at each other. Handing Kaminari her phone, (f/n) walked to the door and opened it up. There stood Sero, Kirishima, Ashido, and Bakugou, the blond hanging up on the call and stuffing his phone in his pocket.

"You're crying!" Ashido said, as she hugged (f/n) who hugged her back. The group moved into her room, finding a spot for themselves.

"Who did it?" Bakugou asked.

"No one made me cry," (f/n) sniffled as the tears returned. "It's just..." She looked down, sitting next to Kaminari, who rubbed her back.

"We're not gonna judge." He reassured, handing her another piece of tissue. (f/n) wiped her tears, sniffling and looking up in an attempt to stop them.

"I think I love both Todoroki and Yaoyorozu," Everyone's eyes widened before they looked down, understanding the reason she was crying. "And it hurts every time I see them together. Then Uraraka talked me into going to train with them tomorrow. I felt bad saying no so I just said yes."

"Yeah," Bakugou said, making everyone look at him. "Yeah, you're out of everyone's league." (f/n) smiled a bit as her eyes returned to her lap.

"But-"

"No buts," Bakugou interrupted. "What? Calling me a liar?" (f/n) frantically shook her head but her tears finally stopped.

"Thanks."

~**~

(f/n) frowned as she looked at the clock on her nightstand. 6:40. She had 20 minutes before she had to meet Momo and Shoto for training. She was currently sitting with the Bakusquad, dreading going.

"Why don't you just cancel? If you're getting this worked up, what's the point?" Bakugou asked.

"Well, I already said yes."

"So? Who cares about those two dumbasses." Kirishima smacked his arm.

"She does, come on, Bakugou."

"Well, kick their asses for making you cry! I'd do it but-"

"You're not allowed." (f/n) smiled, making him huff and look away. He pretended to be angry, but he couldn't. She was one of the few people he was ok being around and he was rather protective of her. He was furious at ponytail and icy hot for making his friend cry. He already hated Todoroki, but this just fueled the hatred even more.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, princess." He rolled his eyes, taking out his phone. (f/n) found some workout clothes and went into her bathroom, getting changed into it. She came back out and sighed, looking at her friends.

"Here I go!"

"You better kick their ass, I swear to god, (l/n)!" Bakugou yelled, making (f/n) smile.

"I'll make you proud!"

"Good luck!" The others yelled as she left. She trusted them but after about five minutes, they moved to Kirishima's dorm, which was down the hall.

(f/n) exited the elevator and walked into the common room and sat down on the couch. She checked her phone, noting she only had ten minutes before her training session. She heard voices and looked up to see her two favorite people...

"Oh, you're early. Great!" Momo smiled to which (f/n) nodded and forced a smile on her face.

"I didn't want to be late."

"We're just heading up to Momo's dorm to get changed, we'll be back in a few minutes." Well, they were dating so, of course, his clothes were in her room. (f/n) kept her smile up and nodded.

"Sure thing!" The two walked towards the elevator and (f/n) huffed, taking out her phone as she scrolled through it while waiting. As promised, the duo returned after a few minutes, ready for training.

"Ready?" Shoto asked, making (f/n) nod as she stood up. Together, they walked to the training room, asking (f/n) some questions, which she did her best to answer without being awkward. At one point, she had gotten a text from Kirishima, so while she was texting him, she'd slowed down a bit, letting them walk ahead.

However, her eyes then looked at Momo's back, slowly trailing down her body. (f/n)'s face turned as red as Kirishima's hair and she immediately looked away, mentally cursing at herself. What the hell was she thinking?! Was this really the best time for this?! She had to restrain herself from slapping her own face as the embarrassment started to consume her.

When they were ready, they placed their belongings to the side and walked to the middle.

"We decided not to use our quirks for this one, simple hand to hand," Momo said. "Oh! You're great at it, right? Why don't you teach us some things?" (f/n) blushed at the compliment and looked down in an attempt to hide her red cheeks.

"Sure. I don't mind."

"We'll spar first." Momo stated, fixing her hair.

"Me against both of you?"

"Yeah, you're better at this than us anyway." Shoto added, to which (f/n) nodded again. Ok, this was a good way to release her anger. As long as she didn't hurt them... too much.

"Alright then. I'm ready." (f/n) declared.

Throughout their little session, (f/n) felt herself getting angrier. Every time she'd try to hit them, her stupid emotions got in the way, so she just stuck to defense. She could feel herself getting more and more frustrated.

Why did she have to feel this way? Why did she have to like them both? Why couldn't she like someone who wasn't taken? Why did they have to date each other? Wasn't she good enough? Fine, she wasn't as pretty as Momo. She wasn't as rich as them. She wasn't the smartest. She wasn't the strongest. But she had a good heart! She cared for them! She would never hurt them. She'd always be there to ease their burdens. She'd always love them. So why? Why didn't they want her?

Why couldn't she just be normal?!

"Momo!" Shoto yelled, making (f/n) blink. Wait... what happened? (e/c) scanned her surroundings and widened when she saw Momo laying on the ground in front of her, curling up. The (h/c) haired girl backed up a few steps.

Shoto helped Momo sit up, who groaned due to being disoriented. After a few moments, they both looked at (f/n), who seemed more confused than Momo.

"A-are you ok?" She asked, approaching her slowly and the raven-haired girl nodded.

"Th-that was good." Momo complimented as Shoto helped her stand up. (f/n) watched how concerned her boyfriend was for her... and it hurt. She wanted Shoto to look at her like that. "H-How did you do that?"

"Oh..." (f/n) stuttered, looking away as her cheeks turned red. "I-It's easy. I-I just flipped out over my hip."

"Could you show me how to do that?" Shoto asked with a light smile, almost making (f/n) melt.

"Sure."

"That was pretty helpful," Momo started, placing a hand on (f/n)'s shoulder. The girl tensed and looked away. "We should train again! Right, Sho?" (f/n) looked up at them and saw their hopeful smiles and felt her heart beat faster.

"O-Ok." Almost instantly, (f/n) regretted her words, knowing she'd have to go through that again. "I'm sorry again, I-" Momo shook her head, taking (f/n)'s hands in her own. Why was she so touchy-feely? But they were so warm and soft, all (f/n) wanted to do was hold them. She'd always wonder what their hands felt like. But now that she had gotten the chance to find out, it hurt.

"That was great! I learned so much! A couple of bruises never hurt! Besides, I always have Sho to ease any of my aching muscles." (f/n) nodded.

"Right, good for you."

"(l/n), are you alright?" Shoto asked, noting her discomfort.

"Yeah. Wh-why would you ask that?" (f/n) answered, her hands still being held captive by Momo.

"You've seemed... uncomfortable all throughout our training session. Are we making you upset?"

Yes.

"No, not at all. I'm just... dealing with stuff."

"Are you sure? If we're bothering you, we can stop." Shoto suggested, making (f/n) shake her head.

Stop hurting me.

"No, please. I've just been a bit distracted is all."

"About what?" Momo asked, still not letting go of (f/n)'s hands. What if she told them a bit about her troubles? Maybe they'd drop the subject? (f/n) slowly pulled her hands away from Momo, unable to handle it anymore. Her beautiful (e/c) eyes looked away.

"I... like someone. And they don't like me back. It just hurts to deal with it, you know." Both Momo and Shoto looked at each other, before frowning.

"H-How are you sure this p-person doesn't like you back?" Momo stuttered, trying to mask her disappointment. Ok, so she didn't really think this through. In her class, the only couples were Momo and Shoto, then Uraraka and Midoriya. So, she couldn't say that.

"He likes someone else." (f/n) answered, fidgeting with her fingers. Shoto didn't want to push her too far, but he needed to know.

"Who is he?" In a panic... (f/n) just blurted out a name.

"Kaminari." Regret hit her like a barreling truck, she could feel her the weight of her embarrassment starting to crush her and the tears were almost instantaneous. She blinked repeatedly, looking everywhere but at the two people she was so desperately yearning for.

"I-I'm sorry. P-Please don't cry." Momo whispered, making (f/n) shake her head as she backed up a bit.

"It's fine, really. Why would someone like him even like me? I-I'm not that special." Why would Shoto like her? "B-Besides, he and J-Jirou are practically made for each other." He and Momo were made for each other. "They fit like puzzle pieces." Shoto and Momo did fit like puzzle pieces. "I'm not supposed to feel like this." Momo and Shoto were in love. Who was she to try and mess with that?

"(l/n)." Shoto softly called out, wiping her tears. Momo rubbed her back while Shoto repeatedly wiped the tears that escaped her beautiful (e/c) eyes. They hated that Kaminari would be the reason for her crying like this, shaking and unable to breathe. If only they knew Kaminari had nothing to do with it.

Almost as if she'd been ripped back into reality, she pushed them away and backed up.

"I-I gotta go, see you guys later." Without letting them speak, she practically ran away, leaving them heartbroken.

"I guess... she doesn't like us." Momo whimpered, hugging Shoto's arm.

(f/n) shut her door and locked it, covering her mouth as the tears poured out of her eyes. That was the most embarrassing thing she'd ever dealt with! Why couldn't she have just walked away?! Why was she so fucking stupid?! They were both so cool and collected and she'd become some embarrassing ball of anxiety and there was no saving her now. How could she screw up like that?! That shit took some real skill.

(f/n) walked to her bed, stuffing her face into a pillow and letting out a loud scream. The embarrassment was enough to kill her.

Meanwhile, Momo collapsed on Shoto's bed covering her face as the tears welled up in her eyes. Shoto sat next to her and pulled her into his lap, letting her cling to him. It was hard to keep his emotions down, but he gave it his all. (f/n) had practically rejected them and it hurt. It hurt to know that she was in love with someone else.

"I wish..." Shoto started. "I wish she didn't like Kaminari. I hated seeing her cry." Momo nodded. "We wouldn't... make her cry like that."

"We'd love her, cherish her, keep her smiling at all times," Momo said, sniffling. "She looked so broken... so broken, Sho." His arms tightened around her as he tried to keep his composure.

"She did."

It had been about two hours since the incident and (f/n) still hadn't stopped crying. So she called her best friend. It didn't take long before he was knocking at her door.

Opening the door, (f/n) moved aside and let Kaminari walk in. He was immediately worried.

"I messed up." (f/n) cried as she sat on her bed. "I messed up so bad because I was too scared to leave earlier."

"What happened?" Kaminari grabbed a piece of tissue, holding it out to (f/n), who took it from him. His hands rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her crying.

"I kept getting distracted during training. God, they looked so good when they fought. But I knew they liked each other so I kept getting frustrated. After training, they asked what was wrong and I ended up telling them I was distracted because I liked someone and he didn't like me back." Looking up at the wall, she scoffed. "They asked who, I panicked and said you." Kaminari frowned.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered as she turned and clung to him.

"I made it so much worse! I made it worse..." He didn't say anything and just hugged her tightly. "Wh-what do I do?"

"I don't know."

Kaminari stayed with (f/n), rubbing her arm or running his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep. He racked his mind for some sort of plan to help her fix this, but there wasn't much he could think of. Sure, it was bad that (f/n) lied about who she really liked, but at the end of the day, did it matter? Shoto and Momo were together and just because they thought (f/n) liked Kaminari didn't mean they would break up. Why would they? They were happy together and sure, they probably felt bad that he didn't return her feelings, but... what would change? There was no point in trying to prove (f/n) didn't like him.

Both Momo and Shoto were in a similar situation, dealing with a heartbreak that didn't make much sense. Sure, they admitted to liking (f/n), but... why did they feel like their hearts had been torn out and stomped on? They had a crush on her, right? Crushes don't hurt this bad. This almost felt like... love.

"You don't think..." Momo sniffled, her obsidian eyes meeting Shoto's mismatched ones.

"I-I... no," Shoto said. "It can't be. We barely know her."

"Then why does it hurt so much?" Momo whispered, stuffing her face into Shoto's chest.

"I don't know." They were silent and all that could be heard was their quiet sniffles. They laid there for what felt like hours, but in reality had only been twenty minutes, until Shoto broke the silence. "What if... we make her forget?"

"What do you mean?" Momo asked, looking up at him. Shoto's eyes were still trained on the ceiling above him as the gears in his head turned.

"What if we make her forget about him and fall for us instead? Would that... be so wrong?"

"I don't think so... our intentions are to love her, so no." That seemed to mark a silent plan of theirs. The plan to make (f/n) fall for them and help her forget Kaminari.

(f/n)'s eyes moved back and forth from the board and her notebook as she silently took notes while Midnight droned on and on about Modern Arts. (f/n) would've been able to pay attention, if it wasn't for the stupid mistake she'd made two days ago. She had a tendency to hold onto all the embarrassing moments in her life, they'd plague her at the worst of times. Such as now. Her dumbass just had to go out and blurt that she liked Kaminari, even though she didn't. What would they think now?

For some odd reason, it dawned on her in class, just now. What did it matter? Shoto and Momo were a happy couple that everyone rooted for. So what if they thought she liked Kaminari? Not like it would bother them. She wished she liked Kaminari or literally anyone else. Anyone that was single and not taken like Momo or Shoto. Hell, even that Monoma kid from class 1B would've been a better option.

Great. Now she was getting desperate.

"Hey, (l/n)?" (f/n) looked up at the mention of her name and clutched her pen tightly.

"Ye-yes, Todoroki?"

"I was wondering if you could help me out with something after school today. Will you be free?" No. Deny. Say no. (f/n)! Say no!

"Sure, what do you need help with?"

"You'll see. Thank you. I'll meet you in the common room?" (f/n) could only nod as he left, making her slam her head on the desk. That look in his eyes, that soft, gentle, look in his gorgeous hetero chromatic eyes. How could she say no?

"I hate myself." She muttered as she started packing up her stuff. Now, she had to mentally prepare herself for whatever reason he needed her help. Bakugou was right every time he called her a dumbass. She was truly an idiot.

(f/n) changed out of her school uniform, slipping into something more casual. Fixing her hair and reapplying her body spray, she grabbed her (bag/purse) and stuffed her phone in it as she made her way to the elevator.

This was a bad idea and she was more than positive she was going to regret it. Yet, here she was, helping her crush out with whatever the hell it was he needed. Although it hurt to be around it, it was also somewhat easing. Just being near either Momo or Shoto eased her heart but made it ache at the same time. It was an odd mix and, most of the time, didn't make sense. But it didn't matter. That little bit of ease always helped.

(f/n) walked into the common room, looking around. It was completely empty, so she found a seat on the couch and took her phone out. It had only been a few minutes before she heard footsteps. Her bright (e/c) eyes looked up and widened. Shoto waved at her, he'd just changed into some casual clothing and boy... he looked so good.

"Ready?" He asked, making her nod as she stood up. "Come on." The two left the dorm building, walking down the road as he led her to their destination.

"Wh-where are we going?" She inquired, quietly.

"You'll see. It's... a bit of a surprise."

"But you said you needed my help."

"I do, don't worry, (l/n)." (f/n) only nodded as she quietly followed him. They made small talk, asking each other about classes and whatnot. A pretty weak conversation, nothing special.

The two arrived at a small cafe, one (f/n) didn't recognize. She followed Shoto inside and to a seat, sitting down across from him.

"So... what did you need help with?" (f/n) asked, desperately needing to know what was going on. Shoto never just invited her out like this, in fact, they barely spent time together. She didn't even have his number and she had almost everyone's number in class. Well, to be fair, she actively went out of her way to NOT get his or Momo's number. She didn't need them asking her for favors, just like this, because she wouldn't be able to say no and would feel even more heartbroken. Just like now.

"Do you recognize this place?" Shoto asked, making the (h/c) haired girl shake her head. "That's because it just opened up, about three weeks ago. I've wanted to come here since I heard about its opening, but I've been too busy. It's a quaint little place isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's actually really cute. I'm surprised I didn't hear about it at all. It's not that far away from the school, either." (f/n) smiled, her eyes scanning her surroundings. The cafe was adorable, it was bathed with different decorations all relating to coffee and sweets such as cakes and whatnot. The seats, booths, and tables all matched their desserts they offered. Almost as if it was dessert-themed.

"That's what drew me in. I saw the flyer a couple of months ago and made it a goal to come here at some point." (f/n)'s eyes finally met his, a sense of ease washing over her. "I'm sure you're wondering why I asked for you to come with me." The girl nodded, almost jumping out of her seat due to the anticipation. "I need you to help me find the perfect dessert and drink."

"For... Yaoyorozu?" There went that bit of ease she felt. However, to her surprise, Shoto shook his head.

"No. For us. We're here right now, aren't we?"

"Well yeah, but... why?"

"Why not?" Well, she didn't have an argument for that so she shrugged, agreeing to help him. (f/n) moved to sit next to him as they looked over the menu together. At first, she could feel her heart beating out of her chest at how close they were, but after a few moments, they were so engrossed in the topic of cakes, she'd forgotten all about it.

"What about the red velvet cake with the vanilla frosting?" Shoto asked, pointing to the picture of a slice of red velvet cake.

"Well yeah, but that's such a simple choice. However, if I may," (f/n) turned the page and pointed. "Direct you to this beauty over here. This adorable little shortcake. The strawberries look absolutely enticing, do they not?"

"Hmm, you pose a compelling argument. But, what about," Shoto pointed to another cake, on the same page. "This delicious Battenberg cake? I think the vanilla and strawberry checkered design looks adorable."

"There's also the classic chocolate cake with extra fudge." (f/n) pointed out.

"Now looks who's talking simple." He teased, which made her giggle and shake her head. He turned the page, partially admiring her beauty until his eyes landed on another choice. "What about this avocado cake?" (f/n) scrunched up her nose, almost sending Shoto to heaven with such an adorable face.

"That doesn't even sound good."

"Well, let's not judge now. It... could be... great." Shoto muttered, which made (f/n) laugh.

"That's not convincing. Not even a little bit. Nice try, A for effort."

"Why thank you." He smiled and the two paused, gazing into each other's eyes. Were... his eyes always so beautiful? One was a dark grey, the other a bright turquoise blue. They... almost shimmered in the rays of the sun that were invading the small cafe, lighting it up. (f/n) blinked, slowly tearing her gaze away from his and looking back down at the menu, not bothering to move. As far as he knew, she liked Kaminari. What did it matter?

But it did matter. As Shoto gazed into her glimmering (e/c) eyes, he could feel himself get pulled into her. The world slowly started to melt away and all he could see was her. Her (h/l) (h/c) framed her face perfectly, her lashes accentuated her gorgeous (e/c) eyes, those soft and alluring (pink/red) lips. He'd never been this close to her before, and he had to admit, it was almost surreal. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, the same way it did for Momo. Almost as if, there was no difference between his feelings for Momo and his feelings for (f/n). Momo was right. He was in love. But (f/n) wasn't.

He blinked back into reality when she looked away, a sad smile on her face as she pointed at another picture on the menu.

"What about this? The Esterhazy Torte?" Shoto- albeit reluctantly- looked down at the menu, where (f/n) was pointing.

"Looks delicious."

"Ah, who are we kidding," (f/n) giggled. "They all look amazing. Well, except that avocado one."

"I still have hope for it." Shoto declared, however, both of them knew that was a complete lie.

"This is a battle you will lose, Shoto." Almost immediately, both of them froze and (f/n) opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out for a second. "I-I meant... to use your hero name. But... your first name is your hero name. I didn't th-think that through." Her cheeks turned red and Shoto almost melted at the sight.

"It's alright, you can call me Shoto if you want. I don't mind." That wasn't a good idea, that would be passing a boundary (f/n) didn't want to. That meant they were getting closer and there's no way in hell would (f/n) get close to him or Momo. That was just... stupid. She needed to come up with an excuse.

"Maybe." (f/n) said, with a smirk making Shoto raise a brow.

"Maybe?"

"You heard me. It's a special privilege to have me use your first name. Let's see if you can earn it." He smiled at the challenge.

"Oh, I'll give it my all, (h/n)."

~**~

"Hey, (l/n)." (f/n) almost jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder, making her turn around abruptly only to see Momo standing behind her.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering. Could you help me with my hand to hand? I've got a couple of hours before Sho gets back and you helped me so much last time!" Of course, she had that same hopeful look in her eyes that Shoto did, making it impossible to say no. God, they pretty much had her wrapped around their fingers.

"Y-yeah, sure." (f/n) answered, quietly, looking down.

"Great! Should we go to your dorm so you can get changed?" (f/n) only nodded as the two walked toward the elevator in silence.

Now, this wasn't the first time she'd been approached by Momo. She'd already asked (f/n) to study with her about three times now, asked her to go shopping with her a few times, and asked for help with training a couple of times. Shoto had asked her to go to that cafe multiple times, he'd also asked for help with training and studying, as well as "running into her" at the mall a few times. It was odd that they suddenly wanted to be around her and as much as it hurt, (f/n) accepted it. It was the only time she got to spend with the two and it was always alone. Alone meaning it was either Shoto or Momo, not them together, so it hurt less.

(f/n) grabbed her work out outfit and walked into her bathroom, quickly getting changed into it. Once she was ready, she stepped out and gave Momo a small smile.

"Ready." Both girls walked to their usual training area, ready for a little bit of sparring. (f/n) still had the same problem, she found herself unable to hurt them so she usually just deflected their attacks. On rare occasions, she'd be able to attack, but not too much. She'd usually just drop them to the ground until they surrendered, marking the end of the sparring session.

"Thanks for helping me by the way," Momo started as they got to the training area. "I've always admired your combat abilities and I'm so glad I finally had the courage to ask." (f/n)'s face turned red at her words.

"A-admired?" Momo nodded. "That's not... n-no way."

"I have! You're so beautiful and strong, your quirk is amazing and you don't rely on it! You're such a great fighter and I know you'll become a hero in no time! You'll easily become one of the top, if not number 1." (f/n) looked away, covering her cheeks.

"Thanks." She whispered. Beautiful? Momo thought she was beautiful? Shutting her eyes tightly, she took a few deep breaths trying to calm her heart. When she opened her eyes, she let out a shriek. Momo's face was inches away from hers. "Wh-what a-are you do-doing?!"

"You're so pretty, (l/n)." Momo grabbed her hands and pulled the flustered girl towards her, making (f/n)'s entire body rigid. One of Momo's hands landed on (f/n)'s waist, while the other held her wrist. "What's wrong?" She asked innocently. (f/n) opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Her cheeks were bright red, her eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and her body was frozen as if Shoto had used his ice. She watched in pure fear as Momo's face got closer and closer to hers. She felt Momo let go of her wrist, her hand sliding up her arm, shoulder, and all the way up to her face. Momo gently tilted (f/n)'s face upwards a bit, her thumb caressing her cheek.

They were going to kiss. (f/n) knew it. Her heart was about to explode and panic surged through her. She wanted to kiss Momo, she really did. But that was wrong! Momo wasn't with her, Momo... wasn't hers. She was dating Shoto and this wasn't ok. This was wrong, it was considered cheating. (f/n) wouldn't want Shoto or Momo to cheat on her, so how could she allow this?

In a blind panic, (f/n) ripped her wrist out of Momo's grip, grabbed her wrist, then spun, to flip the ravenette over her hip. Momo grunted as she felt her body get slammed on the ground. After a few seconds, she sat up and saw (f/n) standing at least twenty feet away from her.

"I-I'm sorry!" She yelled. "B-But we should start training. That's all we're doing here." Momo nodded, standing up with a groan, but ready to fight regardless.

Momo laid on her stomach on her bed, while Shoto massaged her aching muscles. Every training session with (f/n) was grueling and always left her with bruises.

"Her skin is soft." Momo said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Whose?"

"(f/n)'s. Her... her skin is soft. Her eyes look like (another way to describe your eye color [e.g. pools of honey/ glimmering rubies]). She smells like (a scent you like)." Shoto was silent, his hands still massaging Momo's back.

"She's... even more amazing than I thought. I remember when all I could do was watch her from a distance, wondering what she was like. I always thought... she'd be more like Bakugou, they get along so well."

"She's pretty quiet, but she has her moments." Momo smiled, her mind returning to the beautiful girl. "Her blush... it's so cute."

"I wish she was here right now. I just want..." Shoto trailed off, but his girlfriend knew exactly what he was thinking.

"You want to hold her too, right? Just have her laying in between us."

"Exactly." Shoto smiled sadly, as he warmed up his hand to continue massaging his girlfriend's back.

Momo and Shoto had been pinning for (f/n) for about three months now. They didn't hang out all the time, (f/n) was still very reserved, but at this point, Momo and Shoto were positive they were madly in love with her.

It was to the point where it would hurt to see her around Kaminari, who she was so comfortable with. For example, they'd often find (f/n) with her head on his lap or vice versa, they would always be together, they'd always be laughing or something. Aside from that, Kaminari and (f/n) were also on a first-name basis, as opposed to them. They'd told her she could use their first names, but she always denied them, in some way, shape, or form.

It was frustrating. If she liked Kaminari but he liked someone else, why was she always around him? It was clear from the first time they asked her it hurt her so much. So, why would she do that to herself?

Well, Shoto and Momo were determined to find out but separately. One thing they'd noted was that (f/n) was much more comfortable with them if they were alone with her without the other.

So, Shoto was currently waiting on (f/n) to basically ambush her. She'd been quite busy for a few days and he hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her, and the times she wasn't busy she was around Kaminari and Sero.

(f/n) left the elevator on the way to her dorm when she felt someone grab her arm. She turned her head and came face to face with a familiar dual haired male.

"Y-Yes, Todoroki?" She asked, turning to him, trying to pull her arm out of his grasp. Instead, he tightened his grip.

"Why are you always around Kaminari?" He asked and pushed her until she hit the wall. (f/n) was good at hand to hand, but in moments like these, she'd freeze up and forget what to do. So all she did was follow his lead until he'd trapped her against the wall.

"W-what? H-he's my f-friend." Panic set in as he got closer and closer to her, with her unable to escape. Her cheeks flushed a deep red as her eyes met his. She felt the same thing she did when they first went out to that cafe. His mismatched eyes were so beautiful and the longer she stared, the more the world around them disappeared.

Shoto felt the same, as he gazed into her enticing (e/c) eyes. He couldn't help it, and his body moved without his permission. Slowly, his face got closer and closer, with (f/n) closing her eyes and tilting her head up towards him.

Their lips finally met, slowly moving against each other. He could tell that she had no experience, but Shoto didn't mind, he'd teach her. He was gentle, letting his hands slid down from the wall to circle around her waist. She shakily placed her on his arms as the world dissolved away completely. She melted against him, letting him press her against the wall as his lips took hers.

After a few moments, the two pulled away, having forgotten what they were doing and where they were. Shoto leaned in again and (f/n) tilted her head upward for him, their lips moving against each other.

"Shoto?" Both (f/n) and Shoto pulled away from each other abruptly at the voice. They saw Momo standing in the distance, staring at them. (f/n)'s eyes widened, and her body went rigid.

"Oh, hello Momo." Shoto greeted, rather calmly. Momo approached them, no hostility in her movements. At this point, (f/n) was extremely defensive, not feeling safe with either of them.

"What the hell is going on?" (f/n) asked, backing away from the couple.

"We can explain," Momo said, making (f/n) stare at her. "D-do you love Kaminari?"

"What does it matter?" (f/n) asked, unsure of what to do.

"Because," Shoto started. "We're... in love with you."

"What?" She'd gone from defensive to confused within seconds. This couldn't be her reality. It must've been another dream, just a small hallucination to torment her the next day. She was gonna wake up in a little bit and she'd still be in the same situation.

"We know you like Kaminari, maybe you're in love with him. But... we're in love with you. We... want you," Momo started, determination and uncertainty in her eyes. "We wouldn't make you cry like he did, we wouldn't make you look so broken, so hurt, and alone. We'd treat your right. We'd give you all the love and support you'd ever need or want. We'd hold you tightly at night so you wouldn't feel alone, we'd be there to take care of you and love you." (f/n)'s eyes widened, it almost felt surreal. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, the butterflies in her stomach were going crazy, and her mind was in shambles.

"W-wait." (f/n)'s hands went up to her head, her fingers sliding through her hair as she took her words in. They loved her? They were with each other. "Th-this isn't happening." She mumbled, looking everywhere except at the couple.

"We know it's a bit to take in," Shoto said. "But it's true. We'll wait for you, (f/n). We'll wait for you, until you're able to let go of Kaminari." (f/n) shook her head, finally finding the right words to say.

"I don't like Kaminari," Their eyes widened at her words. "I never did. I panicked that day and accidentally told you I liked him..."

"So... you don't love Kaminari?" Momo asked, making (f/n) shake her head.

"I don't."

"Th-then who? You were so upset that day." Shoto stated, making the girl look away, her (e/c) staring at the wall beside them.

"... you two."

"What?" Momo called out, moving closer to (f/n), who stayed still.

"Kaminari never made me cry. It... was always you two. The day you announced that you were officially a couple, I was thinking about confessing to one of you. It broke my heart and you've been breaking my heart ever since."

"We want you," Shoto declared. "We want you to be part of our relationship. We'll make up for all that pain you've gone through because of us. We'll make up for all of it and make you happier than ever... if you'll still have us."

"All 3 of us... that's so... uncommon."

"So what?" Momo smiled weakly. "We love us."

"I've never been in a relationship before, least of all with two other people."

"This is our first relationship too," Shoto said. "We'll learn together. Figure this out as we go."

"What do you say, (f/n)?" Momo asked. (f/n) was silent for a moment, thinking over all of the information provided. They felt the same about her... this was a dream come true. Why would she say no?

"Ok." She answered, making them both smile and breathe in relief. Shoto and Momo approached her, wrapping their arms around her, giving her a warm hug. For once, (f/n) felt happy with both of them with her. She melted against their touch, feeling both of them kiss her cheeks.

"I love you, (f/n)." They said in unison.

"I love you both, too." She answered, quietly before they led her towards her dorm room and went inside. The trio laid down with (f/n) in the middle. Both Momo and Shoto held the girl tightly, almost scared that they'd lose her if they let go. They were finally able to hold her, as they'd wished and hoped for all this time. That feeling of relief and happiness flooded Momo and Shoto and the two could've almost cried.

#mha #mha imagines #mha todoroki #mha momo #bnha #bnha todoroki #bnha x reader #mha x reader #todoroki shouto #shouto x reader #shoto torodoki #todoroki x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #momo yaoyozoru #momo yaoyorozu #momo yaoyorozu x reader #momo x reader #todomomo

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers: March 30th, 2021- Part 1

We’ve been really focused on getting the Step 3 DLC done and keeping up with asks kind of got away from me, aha. Thank you for waiting for a reply! We’re still definitely behind, but here’s a good chunk of responses!

I love Our Life so much but if the release of the step 3 dlc is in April, please don't "release" it on April 1, my poor heart can't take that prank 😭

Don’t worry! I’m horrible at pranks, haha. When we do post something specifically for April Fool’s it’s always to pretend it’s a joke when in reality it’s something we’re actually planning to do. But we don’t have anything like that arranged for this year. Any posts on April 1st will just be like normal.

Omigod, can you end the game in love with Cove but not in a relationship? My character stayed calm at the restaurant and Cove slept over at her home and I think I may have missed it. I'm delirious if I did, may never stop laughing. The children are idiots

Haha, yes, it is possible to be in love and still not get into an actual relationship. There’s no forced ending where the two are made to confess their feelings and accept, it’s all optional/avoidable.

How can you see the new main character cut-in images? I'm not trying to be rude, but, all of my playthroughs, but I haven't seen them yet. (I know you can go through an entire game without seeing them, but I have went through multiple games.)

It’s a bit of a spoiler to say here, but you can check out the guide we posted on Steam HERE!

Is it possible to win first place in the library quiz with Lizzy (Step 1 DLC)

Yep, it is! Someone made a guide for the answers HERE (it’s also on Steam). We probably shouldn’t have required a perfect score to win a children quiz, but oh well, haha.

Hello!

In the future (in step 4) can you marry Cove even if you are friends? I would love to have a platonic wedding with him!

I’m afraid not. As much as he cares for the MC when they’re besties, Cove would only really want an official marriage if it’s based on romance.

Hello! I bumped into Our Life randomly last month, and it is one of the best coincidences I have ever laid on. I love how the choices and little details in the story changes throughout the game, and I'm excited to keep supporting you! I'm absolutely in love with Cove and would like to ask what keeps him to be especially interested in the MC? Other than how you can choose what fondness level you have with him, what ultimately leads him to be in sync with us? Sorry if it's a little much & thank u!

Cove likes the MC because, regardless of the different personality traits you can give the MC, they meet him on his level, listen to him, understand him (even if you’re indifferent and not really close the MC still gets where he’s coming from), and if you’re fond/crush/love than you’re there for him. He finds the MC someone he can respect, trust, and, if they’re close, feel safe with. I’m glad you enjoyed the game!

hi there! for xoxo droplets i see the that female pronouns are used in the description, in the actual game can you change the pronouns or are they stuck as female? i'm aware the game is free, but i have a bad habit of buying dlc's before playing the game so it would be helpful to know before i spend money on it. if anything i'll save that money for more our life dlcs when they come out :D

XOXO Droplets does have a set MC. It’s the story of a specific person rather than a game about making your own story. All of our games prior to Our Life were about exploring MCs that were fully fleshed out people in their own right, so you can’t get the OL experience from what we did before. But we do plan to do more custom-style MCs going forward from here!

For the our life nsfw dlc, will you have to be in the patron to have it or will there be another way for people who really support the game but can't pay to get it?

I’m afraid not. We might put it up for sale somewhere other than Patreon someday (though never on Steam or Itch) since we know not everyone can use that site, but it will still cost money on any other hosting page we use. It’s unfortunately not a piece of content we can give away for free.

Hello! I finally got to play Xoxo Blood Droplets and it mentioned about a DLC coming out soon. Is it already out or are you still planning it?

We are still planning to finish it when we can, we just had to put it on hold because 2020 was a tough year and we needed to put all our focus on Our Life. There’s some of the extra DLC stories available for beta testing on the Patreon.

Is there a link to the soundtrack for Xoxo Blood Droplets? I really like the music in this game!

That’s not available yet, but we’ll probably put it up for sale once the rest of the stories are done.

Would there be any chance for XOXO Droplets OSTs to be released in the future? (Please take my money-)

We might! There are some things we wanna do and fix before we really start advertising XOXO Droplets things again, but hopefully it all comes together.

Why does Cove dislike Shiloh so much despite all of Shiloh's efforts to get along? I can understand his dislike for Lizzie, but why Shiloh?

They met under bad terms (with an arranged play date he had no choice in), Shiloh’s sort of pushy himself when it comes to trying to get along, and Cove thinks he’s just kind of unusual in how he interacts/reacts with people. They don’t click, basically.

Is there a way to have your character be a tsundere? And have Cove toughened up a bit due to that? Sorry if the is a stupid question! ^^;

Maybe? The options in the game aren’t based on those types of personality tropes and I don’t know them well enough to say if you can accurately find a way to make it work with the available options. But it’s not a stupid question, I’m sure plenty of other people have considered something similar c:

do voiced names work only with their exact spelling? cause my mc is called Sophia and one of the voiced names is Soffia so i was wondering but if only works like that it's fine (sorry if i made any mistakes, english isn't my first language)

“Voice” and “text” are separate! You can pick the “voice” you want and then type in whatever “text” you prefer. And your English is really good.

Will OL:NF be based on a season/break like the first game? Or some other type of setting?

Our Life: Now & Forever takes place over the full course of Autumn. So, the start of school and then into the fall holiday season type of time period.

Will we ever see a jealous cove😭😭 please im begging u-

Only in small ways, really. Sadly, I’m just not someone who enjoys jealousy in stories and therefore I don’t know how to implement it in a way that feels enjoyable. Maybe I’ll figure out a angle I can work with in future projects.

Do you have any plans with Our Life once step 4 has been released along with step 3's DLCs?

After the Step 3 DLCs and Step 4 we’ll be releasing the Cove wedding DLC, the Derek romance DLC, and then the Baxter romance DLC. The project will likely be considered fully complete at that point.

Hello, I just needed to first of all sat how amazed I was when I discovered this game. I thought I would be disappointed by the lack of love interests, but you worked so hard to make sure Cove is the Best Boy for so many different people!! It really has been my comfort game for a while now, and I think all the different choices you allow make it the best romance game I’ve played in my life. The only problem is now my expectations for love are Cove level, and no one can live up to that. You’ve put so much consideration to make this game super inclusive and I think it’s amazing. If I can ask, for the exclusive NSFW Patreon dlc, will it only be available for the month it comes out? Or could I become a patron months later and still be able to download it. I just don’t have a job right now otherwise I would LOVE to subscribe to your Patreon and definitely will once I have the money again!! Thank you so so much for making such a lovely game that’s brought me so much joy.

Hiya! I'm so sorry for sounding like a complete degenerate for asking, but will the nsfw moment on patreon still be available even if i'm not a patron of the month it comes out? (e.g. i didnt pay/join the necessary tier before the moment is released) Thank you for your hard work on OL, I really connected with Cove in a way I never anticipated.

Thank you very much for such kind words! The Patreon DLC will be up for download on the Patreon indefinitely once it’s done. Just like the normal DLCs, you can pay to get it whenever you like but it won’t be up for sale until it’s finished. So take all the time you need.

Sorry to bother you guys, but there was an earlier ask detailing the OL LI's love languages and I was just wondering- Would that be for them personally, as in what they do, or the love language they enjoy receiving the most? Because I know for some people it's different for both on giving and receiving and was a bit confused, haha. Sorry for the trouble, your games are really nice!

For Cove and Derek it’s what they like to receive and what they give. For Baxter, it’s what he likes to get. What he gives is tailored to his partner. He’s flexible that way~ And it’s no trouble.

asking (and also fanning... fanboying? fangirling? fanpersoning? screw it- from a distance) anonymously because my confidence is nonexistent.

will you be doing a kickstarter for our life: now and forever? i know it's probably been asked and mentioned before, but will you be doing a kickstarter akin to the one done for our life: beginnings and always? if so, will you be doing similar tier rewards? (if you guys do so, i will [politely] throw my money at you).

now, to the fan.. personing? FAN. uhm. to the part where this anonymous agender idiot will begin to act as the fan they are.

THE GAME IS SO. SO NICE. IT'S CUSTOMIZABLE. I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT PART. AAAAA I ALSO ENJOY THAT YOU GAVE US THE OPTION TO JUST STAY BEST FRIENDS OR SOMETHING A8DBAIHEW- AND YOU INCLUDED AROS AND ACES IN THAT SEXUALITY CHOOSING PART- aaaAAA AND YOU MADE ELIZABETH FILIPINO- THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR CREATING SUCH AN INCLUSIVE GAME!!!

to summarize; will you be doing a kickstarter? and thank you for creating such a nice game. i, and likely the majority if not all of those who have played the game, am thankful.

Aw, thanks <3! I’m so happy it was such a nice experience for you. We are planning on having a Kickstarter for Our Life: Now & Forever. It’ll have similar rewards to the Our Life: O&A Kickstarter, but some changes will have to be made. Like, we’ll definitely need to increase the rate for getting a voiced name. Originally it was $3USD, which was super low for how much work it really took to add in a customized piece of voice acting, aha. Live and learn.

So sorry if you've already answered this, I looked but I couldn't find anything. Is the 18+ DLC coming out alongside the Step 3 DLC, or do they have different development timelines entirely? I'm so excited for all the DLC coming out in the future, and even though the release dates aren't out, I'm already counting down the days. :)

They have different development times and will come out separately. Despite taking place in the same Step period, they’re disconnected pieces of content and making progress on one doesn’t mean the other is closer to being finished. The normal Step 3 DLC is releasing first. It’s great to hear you’re looking forward to them!

Hey!! I'm absolutely LOVING Our Life! I have been pondering on one question though, what's Cove's ethnicity, if there is a set one? Or is it something we can Headcanon?

hi hi! i wanted to say first of all that i absolutely adore our life. it's one of my favourite games of 2020, and i think it was just the perfect dose of positivity we all needed, even if you didn't intend to release it during such a hectic year lol! secondly, i wanted to say: if it's alright to ask, what ethnicity is cove? :-0 and what about his parents? i was just curious about it ^^)/ thank you!!

Cove’s mom, Kyra, is white. But his dad’s, Cliff’s, race doesn’t come up and players are able to headcanon it. So Cove is half white and half whatever you prefer Cliff to be!

hello! there was a post on the patreon where you can run your fingers down cove's chest in errands - how do you get that scene? ♥

That was an old mistake on my part- you can only get that scene in the Ending rather Errands. You have to leave the big family dinner at the restaurant to go into the car, be dating Cove for a while, have Cove come see you there, and then mention using your hands when Cove makes a joke about hands.

in baxter’s dlc, is there any point where you can tell him about the previous renters of the condo?

You can talk to him about that in the normal Step 3 DLC!

—– —– —– —–

Thank you for all the interest in our games everybody :D

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life: Now & Forever #ask #ourlifeba #ourlifenf #gb patch #gb patch games #long post

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ultimate-marysue · 4 years ago

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So, about Bi Caleb

Warning: very long post, discussing bi representation and biphobia.

*Sorry for spelling errors, English ain’t my firts language.

I can’t believe I have to tell you guys, but anyways: Caleb is bi whether he ends with a male character, a female character on a non binary character. That’s what bi people do, you know? they experience atraction for all genders. Saying that a bi character that ends with someone of the opposite gender is straight and queerbaiting is incredibly biphobic.

Yes, Vax was bisexual. Yes, he ended up with Kiki. Get fucking over it.

Now, I can understand why LGBT+ fans may feel disappointed when they tease a “gay couple” but the “straigth” couple ends up being endgame. Notice the quotation marks because there’s not such thing as a straight or gay couple for a bi person. They are bisexual in both situations, but I can see where the problem comes from. I’ve been queerbaited to hell and back by a lot of shows and it really hurts. It feels like they are laughting at you for caring. But I want those fans (whose feelings are totally valid, don’t get me wrong) to consider a few things when it comes to Critical Role, the first one being: it’s a D&D game.

Let me explain, because I know a lot of CR fans haven’t experienced what D&D is like in real life (and that’s absolutely valid, you don’t need to play D&D to enjoy CR). This is an improvisation game, not an scripted TV show. In a Tv show you can plan ahead of time what ship is going to be endgame, what themes are gonna come up for each character and it’s easier to deeply explore sexuality and gender as different planned arcs. In D&D you character’s sexuality may or may not come up depending on how you play it. Take for instance how other CR character’s have stated their sexuality:

Beau: overtly. Very *In your face* kind of lesbian. Marisha said “fuck it, I really just want to romance girls and be bad ass”

Yasha: openly, but not as in your face. Ashley Jhonson wanted to drink from that WLW cup while also being a shy disaster. Seafood market is her favored terrain.

Caduceus: Our Ace king has never hidden his sexuality, and yet he didn’t mention anything about it until chapter 114. He didn’t had the need to either hide it or state it. He was simply vibing.

I think Liam is going that route with Caleb. He’s flustered by Essek and Edwulf (Come on you guys, he always asks Matthew if he’s still hot). He also had/has a thing for Astrid and a think he might have feels for our favorite Tiefling gal. I know we are all too used to characters being teased as gay/bi only to have execs pull a “haha jk they be straight”. But this is not Sherlock or Supernatural. This is a show that not only has queer rep, but also supports queer organizations and creators. Hell, I’m sure some of the cast members are LGBT (but I’m not here to speculate on real people’s sexuality). If Caleb shows attraction to men he is not just queerbaiting, doing it for fanservicing or tricking the fans in any way shape or form: he’s just portraying a bi character. The thing is, since this is not a TV show, he is not doing it por woke points or to send a message. He’s doing it because he wants to play a bi wizard with depression.

So maybe there will be a point in which he can explores his sexuality more deeply, but remember he is playing a game. And his character is one that has a lot of trouble opening up to his feelings. Caleb is not someone that makes sexual jokes or flirty remarks. He is shy, awkward and has developed a really fucked up sense of love that he is now slowly fixing. Hell, in the same Talks episode Liam explained that Caleb was trained on Honey-pot tactics. Which, for those of you who can’t stand Bond films, means seducing your enemy/target to get information, manipulate them or assassinate them. WHICH IS A REALLY FUCKED UP THING! Let’s remember how he was the one to push Fjord to sleep with Advantica so they could spy on her. That boy has Issues when it comes to relationships. So if we don’t see him being as overtly gay as Beau, Molly or Yasha, well maybe it’s because that’s the way Caleb is. Bi people don’t owe you flamboyance, or dating both guys and gals for your approval. I wouldn’t make a post if it was only that, because I do feel the people who are aching for good bi rep and would love some more explicit confirmation. But Vax exists, so I know we can’t have good things down here.

VAX EXPLICITELY SHOWED ATTRACTION TO GILMORE. AS EXPLICIT AS IT GETS. HE FUCKING KISSED HIM. THEY WERE PRACTICALLY DATING. AND YET SOME OF YOU FUCKERS CALL HIM QUEERBAITING. AND I SAY: NOT ON MY WATCH! NOT ON MY FUCKING WATCH!!

How come a character can have canonically kissed another character in a romantic/sensual context and still be called straight? I know fucking Sherlock traumaticed y’all into having trust issues but believe me when I tell you: I’ts not that deep. This is not a “Haha I love u but in a no homo way bro”. It’s a “full homo darling, but also we’re gonna break up because I like someone else”. This is the opposite of queerbaiting. Instead of keeping a charade he was honest with Gilmore because he valued his feelings and realized that he couldn’t reciprocate them at that moment. And if you try to tell me that Vaxleth was forced and didn’t have a reason to exist except queerbaiting, let me tell you: you are wrong.

Vax saw Gilmore once or twice monthly while he spent a heck ton of time with Kiki. Sure, they didn’t had the kind of camera chemistry Gilmore and Vax had because Keyleth is not charismatic. She’s really awkward, and her relationship with Vax was more on the adorable and dorky side of things. I bring this up because I’m predicting something similar may happen to Shadowgast.

Trust me, I ship the hot wizards as much as any other critter (even though I’m a multishipper). But they haven’t talked to Essek in centuries. I think it may have been almost a month in rol and quite a few outside. And you have to take into account out-rol time to because they are humans (except Tal) playing a game and they forget about stuff (except Marisha and Matt). So Shadowgast may not happen because sure, they had really good chemistry for a month a month ago. People have crushes that die down over time All The Time. So maybe don’t be so butthurt about your ship not being canon that you accuse an ally of homophobia.

The cast of CR put forward such an amazing representation for the LGBT+ community and it really hurts me that you gets stuck on the one thing that isn’t canon. Matt has created a world in which coming out is not necessary because no one assumes your sexuality. A world in which people respect pronouns and orientations (except Tary’s father, who is a villain). A world in which Cad or Caleb don’t need to explicitly say “I’m ace/bi” unless it comes up in conversation. A world in which his friends can be whatever they want to be without pressure or reprecusions. A world in which they get to explore different gender identities and sexual orientations with full freedom. Let’s not interfere with that (unless there’s missrepresentation), and let them play their game. If you really need mlm or wlw canon couples or more outwardly LGBT+ people you have plenty examples among NPCs and other cast members (Allura and kima, Yasha, Beau, Dairon, Keg, Reani, Tary, Molly and Vax among others).

There’s way worst shows taking LGBT+ cred for barely doing nothing. Fucking Supernatural is the most recent example! Critical Role works towards showing an honest portrayal of LGBT+ folk and accepts valid criticism from their fans on the subject (when they changed J’Mon Sa Ord pronouns from it to they/them). They don’t owe you making your ship canon or portraying their characters the way you want them to (again, unless when it’s constructive criticism). Stop being so Fucking entitled and enjoy the show for what it is

,Respectfully~

*Edit: I´m tagging Caleb’s ships into the post because most hate comes from shipping wars. Most Shadowgast fans are respectful of the cast’s decisions, even if it disappoints them. But since I’ve already seen people accusing Liam of biphobia in that tag and since I’ve already seen this shit with Vaxmore I’m tagging the ship. If you want to read my long ass post do it, if not, ignore it. I’m not forcing you to read it. I’ve also tagged it with biphobia so people can avoid it if it’s triggering. I’m sorry if it makes you mad that your ship is not canon, but that’s not an excuse to be toxic to the cast. Those of you getting mad are the ones that need to read this the most. Like I’ve said in the post: you’re allowed to be disappointed, you are allowed to want more, but you can’t force the cast to give you exactly what you want. And most certainly, you can’t accuse them of some very serious stuff like biphobia and queerbaiting when it’s not the case..

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hops-hunny · 4 years ago

Note

im back!! well not totally back, but i have a treat for you ;)

idk if you are comfortable with sex tapes, if youre not you can ignore this

it's about nev with the hot popular person who everybody wants :)

okay so, the reader and neville are dating in secret, but the reader wants neville to tell people that theyre dating, and as neville expected, no one believed him

neville is sad and the reader wants to cheer him up, so, why not have sex with him right? it's the best way to cheer someone up

but the reader wants to spice things up with the idea of recording a sex tape

nev is like "sure! why not?" cause he LOVES that kind of thing

they record the sex tape, they watch it, and they watch it again, and again, and they love it, and they do it again...

a few days later the tape was """""accidentaly""""" leaked

and everyone watch it, and they are SO FUCKING SURPRISED due to the fact that not only neville is dating the hottest person in school, but also cause in the tape, he is fucking them into oblivion, and people never thought about neville being a dom and rough during sex, actualy people didnt even imagined that neville had sex SHDISKDJJS

now sweet neville is happy and can hug and kiss his fit s/o in the hallway with confidence cause now, everybody knows he has a hot s/o and a massive dick

thank u for your atention <3

idk if this has anything to do with exhibition, but if it does, hope you liked it cause i know you have a kink for that

~🌻

PRONOUNS: SHE/HER

erkkr 🌻 anon, you remembered one of my kinks? pls that's so cute ily <3 also I didn't know which pronouns you wanted so if you want I can probably go back and change it if these aren't to your liking!

"I know you're upset Nev, but this was your idea in the first place darling." (Y/n) said, straddling the boy as they stroked his cheek. She placed a peck on his lips, pulling away to look into his hazel eyes.

"I-I know but I didn't think that would include me having to watch blokes flirt with you and be able to do nothing about it!" He huffed out, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist. (Y/n) stood up in front of him, a flirty look present on her face.

"Well," she started as she began to unbutton her shirt, dropping then thin white material to reveal her bra, "There is something you can do about it." his face flushed as he motioned her over, pulling her panties down before stuffing them in his back pocket. Gripping her waist with one hand, he used his other to flip up her skirt, revealing her slick covered folds.

"Yeah? What would that be pretty girl, having me mark you up? Leave bites and bruises all over this pretty little body of yours?" The boy ran his thick digits along her messy cunt, chuckling as she whimpered, nodding and urging him to go further. "Use your words, bunny."

"P-please touch me Nev. Want you to mark me and make me yours.." she felt her eyes roll to the back of her head as his thick fingers curved inside of her, letting out a sigh as he began to pump them in and out. The girl climbed into his lap, resting her head on his shoulder as he began to speed up his pace, tips brushing against the spongy surface of her cervix. Her eyes landed on her phone across the room, still positioned on the tripod from a photoshoot she had of herself earlier. "W-wait, I wanna try something...."

----------------------------

(Y/n) was completely confused. Ever since she had made her way from her room this morning, eyes followed her every move. That wasn't the uncommon part, no that happened quite a bit. The uncommon part was the unusual whispers that came with them. She felt relieved when her friends approached her, same treatment as they usually gave her.

"Ya know (Y/n), I should've known you'd go for someone like Longbottom. I mean I never saw the appeal but after seeing that little tape of yours, I can see why!" Sasha giggled, nudging her friend along with Sophie on the girl's other side. (Y/n) felt herself grow dizzy.

"T-tape?!" she squeaked, watching as Sophie pulled her phone out, handing it over to the girl. (Y/n) watched herself on the screen with wide eyes.

Tossled hair, puffy lips, and thick mascara tears running down her face, she watched as Neville lifted her up flush against his chest, tightening the grip he had around it. He smirked into the camera, pulling out of her as he rubbed his monster of a cock along her folds, light reflecting off the piercing in the tip. His dick was a sight, long and thick, inches upon inches covered with a mix of their juices.

(Y/n) let out a series of whimpers, crying and whining from the loss of him inside of her, causing him to turn her head to look at him some. He pecked her lips before turning her messy face to look at the camera. He looked down at her, eyes filled with lust and admiration.

"Tell the camera who's you are, pet or daddy's not putting it back in." He stated, continuing to rub and slap his cock along her folds. She whimpered, blabbering something incoherent which caused him to cackle. "Oh come on, puppy, daddy knows you can do better than that."

"Y-yours Nev! Daddy's whore." she cried out, letting out a series of yesses as he slid back into her at full force. "G-good, feels so good! Neville's good girl, all yours." he released his firm grip on her face, patting it gently as he tightened his hand around her throat more, continuing to fuck her as he admired his work in the reflection of the phone screen.

"I-I've seen enough! Here, take it back." she shrieked, handing the phone back to her friend trying to ignore the heat in her cheek and the pooling in her panties (which she was lucky Neville hadn't taken already). "Let's go, I've gotta find him!"

-------------------------------

Neville had been enjoying the attention he had been receiving all day. How could he not? All those poor, jealous, lovesick boys envious of him? Some of the most well known boys in the castle, begging him for even a word of what his baby's cunt feels like. He'd never tell them though, he had so snarkly replied to each one of them with something along the lines of 'you've got a hand, I'm sure you can use your imagination'. However one thing was obvious: he'd never miss the opportunity to brag about it to the boys.

"I just, I'm in shock! You're fucking (L/n)?!" Ron exclaimed, standing up from the ratty couch as he ran his fingers through his hair. Neville chuckled, smirking some as he examined his friends' jealous expressions.

"Well I'm not just fucking her, she's my bird." he shrugged, as if it wasn't the most shocking thing they'd heard in a while.

"Yeah, yeah that's nice. Not to be rude but," Harry cleared his throat as he pushed his glasses up his nose. "You have sex? Was she your first time?"

"(Y/n)? God no. I was hers however." he turned his attention back to his phone screen, which everyone's eyes was currently on. Since most, if not all the castle had seen it, what was the problem with watching it with the boys?

"I'm not surprised Neville has sex, he's my boy!" Seamus exclaimed, patting the boy in question's back way too hard. "I'm more so surprised that he's a beast of a man, like look at that!"

Neville spit in the girl's mouth, hooking his fingers on the inside of her mouth. He used his leverage on it to hold her up, stretching her mouth back as he continued to pound her. (Y/n) let out multiple screams and moans, tears continuing to poor down her face.

"God she's so pretty like that." Neville sighed, leaning back as he looked at the ceiling. However, something caught his attention out the corner of his eye. He smiled as a familiar set of beautiful (s/c) legs made their way over to him. Seamus quickly turned off the screen, all of them freezing up as the girl and her posse stopped in front of them.

"Wow, I-"

"You're, you're..."

"I-I..."

"Hi petal, you alright?" He asked, hovering above the girl as he stroked her cheek. She nodded some before pouting.

"Yeah, I would be better if half the school hadn't seen my tits before the time I even woke up! How'd you manage to leak it anyways?" she whispered, hiding her face in his chest to avoid the horny gazes of his friends.

"To be fair, I thought I hit your name not all contacts!" he lied, causing her to look up. She looked at his ears before gasping looking back up at him again as she punched his shoulder.

"Neville Longbottom, you leaked it on purpose?! Don't even lie again, your ears always get red when you lie!" she huffed out, turning away from him. "I wouldn't have had a problem with releasing it if you had just asked. I will admit though, it is kinda nice not having to hide and sneak around anymore."

"I'm still not over the fact that he has a piercing.....and thigh tattoo!" Dean finally spoke up, catching everyone's attention. It grew silent for a bit before they all began to laugh.

"Well there's a lot you don't know about me."

"I think it's better that way after this. I don't know how much more Neville I wanna get to know."

TAGSLIST: @princesslaiahg @elemental-of-magic @pink-hufflepuff @nevillelongbottomlover @ezra-my-beloved @vayeya11 @beewitchedlou @redpanda-poetry @nevillelongbottomsgirlfriend @De4d-s0up

#brattysblurbs:neville #🌻anon

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rpmusingsforthesoul · 4 years ago

Text

This is Us Season 2 Sentence Starters

( feel free to change pronouns )

“What the hell is going on?”

“Catch your breath? What does that mean?”

“I need to stop feeling so…disappointed and I need to start feeling something else first.”

“Are you fake smoking?”

“No, I’m not throwing down with you in an adoption parking lot.”

“I’ve been chasing it my entire life; perfection.”

“When it comes to you and me? Baby, there ain’t nothing muddled there.”

“We are perfectly imperfect. And I didn’t even know that was a thing.”

“I’m drunk right now. I’ve been drunk all day. I’ve been drunk for weeks.”

“I’m still really upset and I don’t think I’m ready to talk about any of that just yet, but…I shouldn’t have let you leave.”

“Get in the car. Get in the car, ___.”

“If you have a problem, we will fix it together. I just need you to get in the car so we can go home.”

“I’m gonna go pay the tab even though we didn’t order anything.”

“You are the strongest person I know.”

“No, I’m not a masochist. I did not invite her.”

“You’re really cute when you’re dumb.”

“You’re tougher than that itch. You’re stronger than that itch.”

“Well who actually likes bowling?”

“When the snow is gone, I want you gone too.”

“She told you what I said?”

“Screw you, ___! And that is really hard for me to say because confrontation makes me cry!”

“No, don’t do that. Don’t make me the nagging girlfriend when you were a jerk.”

“At work if I’m wrong, it’s just money. But what if I’m wrong with a baby?”

“Damn. I almost had a baby named after me until I said that, huh?”

“You are not ‘instead’ of anything. You are exactly how it was meant to be.”

“Middles can be the hardest because that’s where you can really lost. But middles can also be a beginning too.”

“Just a year ago, my mother was alive and I had my girl and we were having a son. And now they’re all gone.”

“You tell me you’re disappointed? Well guess what. I am more disappointed. I am the most disappointed man you ever met in your whole damn life.”

“Oh wait. I thought I was gonna be the one who was gonna bring the heat and you were gonna calm me down. So we’re switching?”

“Next time I’ll reschedule getting jumped.”

“And even when he tries to tell people how pathetic he is, they don’t hear it. They just cheer.”

“Are you out of your mind coming back here, you bastard?!”

“That necklace, it’s the only thing I have left in my life from my dad. It’s the only thing I have.”

“I just need somebody to help me! I just need help please!”

“I’m in pain out here. Look, I’m in pain here!”

“We’ll I’m not gonna apologize for being excited.”

“It happened to me. It didn’t happen to you.”

“I’m trying to be strong here ‘cause that’s the gig. But it happened to me too. And it hurt.”

“At least the coffee’s cold.”

“Those were my onions. You just took them from me.”

“Life feels like pac-man sometimes I guess…it’s the same game over and over again. Same board, same ghosts.”

“I’m not holding in my passive-aggressive sighs.”

“You wanna talk about your tortured childhood? You wanna compare baggage?”

“The only thing you’re addicted to is attention.”

“You know, for a bad guy, you have one hell of a disguise.”

“Did we forget something at the mall?”

“Some people look at vacation rentals, some people look at porn, I look at dogs.”

“I’ll be back with a sledgehammer. This’ll be great!”

“Just let me remember you when it was good, okay? Will you do that?”

“I want you to know that you weren’t just a name on my list. ___, you were the name.”

“See? No porn, no puppies, no puppy porn.”

“I need you to wake up! The house is on fire! Get dressed! Put some shoes on!”

“Look at me, I’m gonna get us out of here, okay? Just look at me. Just be calm ‘cause we’re gonna get out.”

“Get down here now, ___! ___, don’t go back inside!”

“I’m going in the kitchen to get that and I’m never coming back.”

“How could you possibly joke right now?”

“When you lose someone…when you lose someone unexpectedly, it hurts…differently.”

“That’s what unexpected loss is like. It’s like a lightning bolt you can’t even see, reaching inside of you and tearing out your guts and-“

“No no, can you just back up? And can you leave me alone?”

“Can somebody get this person to give me some space, please?”

“I’m gonna be strong for them. God help me, I’m gonna be strong for them and if you can’t be strong either, then you need to take a walk around the block until you can.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there that night and I’m sorry the last thing I ever said to you was…awful.”

“I wanted to come here, I wanted stop avoiding you and I wanted to just talk to you. And just talk to you and tell you that I’m sorry and tell you that I’m gonna do better, okay?”

“If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll make you proud of me. I swear, I’ll make you proud of me.”

“The night ___ died, I thought ; we’re done. We won’t come back from this. And then I thought ‘okay, maybe they can. Maybe one day.’ Not because they needed him less, but they were built out of stronger stuff than I was.”

“Do you know that you changed my life? That you saved my life?”

“I’m always crying.”

“Uh-oh? What does ‘uh-oh’ mean?”

“Get out. You’re walking home.”

“Don’t you try and sell me on what you can’t do because I’m too old, I’m too smart, and I’m not buying it.”

“Can I just sit here with you for a little bit?”

“It was not your fault. Do you hear me? He was a grown man who made a choice. And if I have to spend the rest of my life making sure that you know that, I will.”

“It’s okay, because every battle scar is gonna tell our story.”

“I sit inside your anxiety every damn day and you can’t give me one night?”

“You don’t have to talk to me like I’m a child.”

“You can’t sleep either?”

“I like you, but you’re soft.”

“Choosing our people is the closest we come to choosing our own destiny.”

“I liked your toast. I’ve always been a sucker for a good toast.”

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #inbox meme #inbox memes #rp prompt #roleplay prompts #rp prompts #roleplay prompt #Inbox prompts #sentence starter #sentence starters #this is us sentence starter #This is Us

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protection-of-the-peaky-blinders · 4 years ago

Text

A Peaky Christmas Day (Tommy x Reader)

Title: A Peaky Christmas Day Summary: Tommy asks you to spend Christmas Day with him. Tommy finds you wandering the snowy streets on Christmas Morning. Asks you to spend Christmas Day with him. Words: 3,372 | Part 1 of 2 Warnings: Trigger Warnings for mentions of Domestic Abuse, Alcohol abuse, Rape, Swearing, She/Her Pronouns Author’s Note: To the Anon that suggested this, I was already writing something similar so I hope you don’t mind me adding in some tragic backstory. Part 1 of 2. Part 2 more focused on Christmas Day Fluff. It’s my first Tommy Shelby Fanfic so if he’s out of character, I profusely apologise.

Christmas Day. Merry Christmas. 𝑀𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑦.

You couldn’t recall a time where Christmas was ever ‘merry’ for you. Your father was always drunk, using the excuse that he was drinking ‘Santa’s whisky since it’s Christmas after all’, and his drunkenness was often taken out on you. The more he drank, the worse it became for you. Which is why you prefer to stay home and ensure he has meals throughout the day, try and soak up some of the alcohol, and try and distract him from consuming too much, lest it become far worse than things thrown at you.

Christmas Eve had been the start of your problems. You weren’t aware your Dad had gone out drinking at the pub until he came home and gotten handsy with you. Luckily you were able to shoo him off with the excuse of you cooking dinner and he needed to take a shower. But this didn’t last as long as you hoped. You managed to get him to eat something but your night went downhill from there.

Had you given Tommy Shelby permission from another time prior, your Father wouldn’t have lived to have seen Christmas Day. At the moment, you regretted protecting your Dad against the Peaky Blinder. For some reason, Tommy stepped down and respected your wishes. You were grateful. But you knew that Tommy knew your Dad can be extremely abusive when under the influence.

Christmas morning finally arrived and you were already exhausted. You hadn’t slept. Your Dad keeping you awake between his bouts of drunkenness. You had no safe spot in the house. Your bedroom, which should have been anyone’s general ‘safe spot’ was never respected by him as he quite often came barging in.

He finally passed out in the early morning and that’s when it became too much for you. Still in yesterday’s clothes, though severely crumpled and torn, you left the house in such a state that you blindly walked in the snow for hours. It was still dark, but the sun that was slowly rising had allowed enough light to dimly light the area in a dark blue hue.

You walked and walked. You knew if you stopped and caught your breath, you’d break down like a mad person and you couldn’t do that. You’re not weak. You’re not. Your situation was complicated. You couldn’t leave. You couldn’t disrespect your Mother’s memory by leaving your Dad all on his own. He was still grieving the love of his life. Your Mother had only died a year prior. A few days before Christmas, actually. This year had marked the one-year anniversary. The wounds were still fresh. The first time Tommy found out your Father was abusing you, he wanted to pay your Father a visit. But you stepped in and explained the situation. At first Tommy wasn’t having it, but you begged him to respect the memory of your Mom; a good, kind-hearted, nurturing woman. When he saw you almost breakdown in tears, he stepped down; on the condition that if it gets out of hand, he will do something about it. “You’re protected by the Peaky Blinders now, love.” He had said as he took his cap off and placed it on your head. Far too large for you, but it had you smiling again. And in turn, made him smile softly.

By 7:30 in the morning, the sun had peaked above the rooftop, though hidden behind clouds, it still left enough light to let you know that it’s now daylight. Snow was starting to fall ever so slightly and your h/c hair had lightly begun sprinkled with snow. You would have looked cute with your red nose and cheeks – had the circumstances been different. Your fingers were cold as ice, too, but it didn’t seem to bother you.

-- As always, for Tommy, Business never stopped. Even on Christmas Day. Rising up early with the sun, and before anyone else awoke, Tommy got himself dressed and headed into town where he had a couple of matters to take care of at his office. His family might get annoyed at him but at least it won’t be bugging him throughout the day, playing at the back of his mind and making him irritable company. He almost lost track of time when he dropped his pen and sat back. Taking his pocket watch out from his vest pocket, he flicked it open anad read that it was nearing 8am. Better get a move on. By the time he gets home, the fire should be lit, half his guests should be waking up or arriving. (Some of his family chose to stay the night, others were going to arrive in the morning).

Lighting a cigarette, he made his way out of his office and out of the building, immediately being greeted by snow. Snowing at Christmas was always magical. Or so many believed. It didn’t bother Tommy in the slightest. He wasn’t overly sentimental about Christmas, except for how it brought his family together as normal as they can be; no talk of business, no arguments. Just lots of laughter, chatter and loud teasing. The only person who’s ever cross as Christmas is Aunt Pol when she tells the brothers to settle down; John and Arthur being the rowdiest ones.

Christmas Day was one of very few days where Tommy’s demons don’t weigh heavily on his shoulders, nor hauntingly appear in his eyes. Yes, he’s still quite reserved and prefers to quietly observe his family, but he smiles more and joins in the laughter.

It wasn’t long before Tommy was in his car and driving away, wanting to get home before the snow got heavy. His drive home only last a few minutes as he drove out to the edge of town, only to slow down when he saw a woman stumbling on the side. Had it not been for the familiar hair, he would’ve thought it was just some whore who had a bit too much too drink. Clothes were crumpled and torn, hair falling out from the updo it must have been kept in; indicating a wild night no doubt. Such was not the case. Foot placed pressure on the brakes of the car as he carefully slowed it down to avoid skidding on the snow-covered road, ocean blue eyes squinted in concern before murmuring a soft “Fuck.” Under his breath when he realised who it was. The car creaked to a halt as he hastily placed the brakes on, turned the ignition off and swiftly climbed out. “Y/N?” he called out, as he walked over to you, head ducking a little trying to catch a glimpse of your face to give him full confirmation it was you. You stopped in your tracks when you heard your name being called by a familiar voice. It was comforting. Too comforting. Because the minute you stopped and looked up to see the clearly concerned look of Thomas Shelby walking over to you, you crumbled. Your features crumpled as distraught washed over you, and he made it in time to catch you against his chest as you cried. “Aright…” he murmured as he braced himself to catch your weight, “Alright, love. It’s alright. I’ve got you.”

Arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you firmly against him as your body trembled violently from each sob that tore from your chest. He’s never seen you cry. Never heard you cry. Never knew someone could cry as painfully as you. He didn’t need to ask too many questions about what happened. He knew getting an answer out of you now would be hopeless, so he’d wait until you calmed down a little more. But knowing your situation at home, and your dishevelled appearance, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. One hand left your back and curled in the locks of your h/c strands, the other hand remaining on your back and holding your protectively against him. Each sob that tore out from you had you struggling to breath, gasping between each cry. Being out in the cold climate probably didn’t help either, with the snow already starting to fall. “Shh…shh, shh… come on, hey, come on...” you heard him hushing you firmly. Probably to most people it might sound as though he was annoyed because of the tone of his voice, but you knew there was concern that filtered through that gravelly voice. “You’re safe now, eh? You’re safe.” Cold, ocean blue eyes glanced around as he held you; snowfall was beginning to cover things like a white blanket and he needed to get you out of the cold. A few people were still walking around in the distance behind them, but apart from that, it seemed like it was just you two being the daft ones still outside in the cold. Your painful cries tugging at his heartstrings, making him want to murder the fucking bastard that did this to you; family or not. The only thing stopping him from spreading more red at Christmas was you. There was no way in hell he could leave you in such a state. Your father can wait. But he WILL pay. Tommy will NOT let this slide. He continued to hold you until you calmed down, his patience with you was commendable, but it’s one thing you needed was patience and understanding. Your situation was … delicate. Fragile. He certainly didn’t want to fuck anything up with you. Except for your Dad. But that was a given. When your cries had quietened, you dared not look at him, knowing your face was a complete mess. You felt him let go of you, and for some reason you thought he was disgusted by you. Something you feared would always happen if a situation like this occurred; where you were painted dirty. A whimper of fear left your throat and you stumbled back in your footing. Letting you go, Tommy had quickly shrugged out of his jacket to place it over your shoulders, give you some warmth because it was hard to miss how frozen you felt against him. He missed the whimper that came from you, thinking it was just a noise of distraught and nothing more. The same with the stumbling of your footing, thinking it was your exhaustion creeping in. Not once did he ever consider your dirty or disgusting, the word ‘whore’, a word you feared you’d be seen as because of your Dad, never once occurred to him when he’s with you. Or thinking of you. Quickly draping the heavy coat around your shoulders, he was quick to wrap his around you again. “Y/N!” he murmured before his other came around you to hold you up in case you buckled completely. “I’ll take you back to mine, eh? Sit you by the fire and get you warmed up. And then we’ll talk.” “But it’s Christmas.” You murmured though your voice croaky from the distraught outburst you had only moments ago. “You’re spending Christmas with me. Alright?” It’s not like you had much of a choice in the matter. When Tommy formulates plans, he sticks to them. The only time he wavers is if you’re legitimately uncomfortable about it but that’s never been an issue with Tommy. “…but my Dad…” you asked, letting the question go only for Tommy to sternly answer back, “Will be dealt with. Let’s get out of the cold before you get sick. Come on.” Arms stayed around you, right arm draped around the middle of your back, left hand cupping your elbow as an added means of security. Tommy guided you back to his car, his own body acting as both a shield and grounding point for you. Your frozen hands clutched at the thick fabric of his coat and wrapped it shut against your chest, shivering beneath it when your body finally discovered the sense of warmth and you only begun to realise how cold you actually were. Opening the passenger door for you, Tommy waited a moment for you to climb in before closing it. Blue eyes surveyed the area once more, either for prying eyes, any signs of her Father, and also simply out of slightly paranoid habit. You let out a shaky sigh as you leaned back against the seat. Your legs flopping to the side as all the strength that kept you going suddenly left you. The exhaustion finally caught up and was threatening to pull you under, but you kept your eyes open. The coat didn’t help with the comfort it provided; warmth and smelling of smoke and cologne; Tommy’s signature scent. You jerked slightly as the driver’s door opened and Tommy sat down, slamming the door shut. He didn’t speak for a moment, eyes gazing straight ahead out the window. “He put his hands on you, didn’t he?” You licked your lips in nervousness, knowing there was no point in lying to him. He already knew the answer, just wanted the truth confirmed before he decided to carry out whatever plan he was currently formulating in his mind. “Tommy…” “Answer the question Y/N. Did he place his hands on you?” His voice was low. Calm. A hint of danger behind his voice but he kept it soft but firm for you. “…Yes…” you breathed quietly, Tommy already able to hear the tears in your voice. “Fuck.” He murmured beneath his breath as straightened himself up to start the car. “He did that too.” Your voice hitching as you admitted to the worst of what your Father did to you, making Tommy pause in his actions and drop his hands. He finally looked over at you to see you curled up, looking small and fragile. Tears already falling from your E/C orbs again, though you weren’t outwardly crying. Just seemed as though you didn’t even realise you were crying at all. His heart broke for the pain you’re in; this soft, beautiful woman, broken by a man she’s meant to trust and be loved by. His heart angered by the fact that he wanted to protect you, made a personal oath to protect you and had failed to do so. He didn’t even want to think what would have happened to you today had he not found you. “He will be dealt with, Y/N.” he repeated himself firmly, with authority. If you were going to argue against him, you would not win. His decision was final this time. Blue eyes bored into yours “I want to make that very clear.” You weren’t afraid of him, but you were afraid of what he’d do. But you knew your Father went too far. You had no fight left in you to protect or defend him. “…By order of the Peaky Blinders?” Grabbing his cap, he yanked it off and flopped it against your head, the way he did it during one of many moments that looked like you both were an official couple but at the same time, nothing had yet officiated it (by means of a kiss or something typical that officially seals a relationship). “By order of the Peaky Blinders.” He murmured back, pulling the cap down slightly to hide your face. Fuck. He’ll never forgive himself for not being there to protect you. But then, he’d have risked you never forgiving him if he broke his promise and acted on it sooner. It doesn’t matter. He can’t change the past. He’s got you now. Safe. By his side. Safest place for you to be. He’ll take you home, get you warmed up and settled in. Reintroduce you to the family since you’ve only met them briefly a few times before; Tommy wanting to keep you away from a lot of the shit that goes on, not wanting you to get caught up in it all. He’d call a family meeting at some point and give the order for tomorrow. It's boxing day after all, what better way to celebrate than by boxing the fucker’s head in eh?

That was his plan. For the most part of today, he just wanted you to feel safe and comfortable, and to place a smile on your face. At least he’d be able to give you your Christmas present. Perhaps not in the way he imagined to present you with it since you’re in a fragile state and he dare not risk jeopardising anything. But at least he was able to do it on the day that mattered most.

You didn’t bother adjust the cap that was a bit too big for your head. You hummed softly in response but nothing further was said from either of you. Tommy finally tore his eyes from yours and began to put the car into motion. It wasn’t too long before you were lulled to sleep by the leisurely motion of the car and the hum of the motor acting as white noise. With Tommy being silent and not conversing with you didn’t help, but certainly the lack of sleep you were currently suffering with was the key factor as to why you fell asleep within minutes. Tommy glanced over to you when he noticed you had gone quiet, no sound of sniffling or shaky little intakes of breaths. His concern was quelled when he realised you were asleep, and purposefully took the longer route home, slowing down over some of the bumpier paths to avoid waking you. It was the least he could do for you in your current state. Getting you home and warmed up was a priority, but he couldn’t recall a time he’s ever seen you asleep. You looked peaceful. Angelic. As if you didn’t suffer a horrendous ordeal that last throughout the night until the early hours of the morning. He didn’t want to break the peace you had with sleep, so he let you be as long as he could. You honestly felt like you had barely gotten any sleep when you were being shaken awake only seconds later (Tommy had managed to stretch the drive close to half an hour). In your disorientated state, your eyes snapped open and you immediately fought against the hands that were on you. Your whimpers being the first noise to come from you, only to be hushed by a gravelly voice, “Hey, hey, Y/N! Y/N! Its just me. Just Tommy. Yeah?” Between fighting him off, he managed to catch your wrists and hold them steady from attacking him, but when you came to your senses, eyes wide with fear and your chest rising with each breath, your hands went limp in his hold. “Tommy?” “Yeah.” “Oh god…” “It’s alright. Hey…look at me. It’s alright. Just me. You’re safe now. You’re safe.” Blue eyes never left yours as he waited for you to calm down. Letting go of your wrists, he pulled away just a little bit to give you space in case you needed it. He offered his hand for you to take in case you needed physical reassurance. He wasn’t sure how best to help you right now, so he wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t take his hand. But you did. “God, I’m so sorry.” You apologised once you found your voice and your bearings. Bringing your hand to his lips, he softly kissed the back of your hand, “Don’t be.”

He bit back words of anger hurled at your Father for making you feel this way, knowing it wouldn’t do you any good. You didn’t need to deal with Tommy’s anger.

“Now come on, eh? Let’s get you inside. Warmed up by the fire. Cup of tea. Spend Christmas Day with me.”

Ocean blue eyes that held so much anger and danger, was staring at you with nothing but softness, adoration and a fierce protectiveness. He lifted the back of your hand to his lips and gave it another tender kiss, making your lips curl up into a smile. “That’s my girl.” It was the first time you smiled since he found you, and fuck how it made his heart flutter. Especially when you ducked your head in shyness but not before he spotted the hint of blush dusting your cheeks, making him chuckle ever so slightly. || Tag list: @captivatedbycillianmurphy

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