#I’m trapped to live and die in this little cage

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Tonight I watched Star Wars….

Oh, yeah, look. I know the young folks call it “A New Hope” or “Episode IV”, but when I was growing up the first movie was “Star Wars”. If Lucas still expects me to accept his tinkering after I had LITERALLY seen the movies more than 100 times, then I’m never gonna use his rebranding.

Yes, really. 100 times.

I worked my ass off cutting brush growing up to earn enough money to buy the movies on VHS. This is back in the days they were rental priced. I think I paid $75 per movie and then went and bought the Han vest and Luke jacket the fan club was also selling.** When I got those three tapes I would sit there a day watching the movies like an endless loop, starting over as soon Jedi was over. And I actually kept count on a chalk board!

It’s soooo damn embarrassing now! I can’t get my head around it. i can’t even stand to watch two episodes of a tv show back to back now. But back then I was in love, a total fangirl..

Plus, yah know, no streaming, no internet even, no cable, a handful of VHS tapes because they cost so much still, and the nearest video rental places a couple shelves in Roses 10 miles away! If you wanted to watch something at home there weren’t many choices! LOL

But I did love it, a deep unconditional love. The visceral thrill I felt as a six year old sitting by my father rippled through my life for decades. I’d watch the movie and feel it again every single time. It was a delight that was filled with the warmth of something connecting with you in a way that if feels it was always there. It was like a part of identity manifest in a movie***. Empire was my favorite, but Star Wars would always have a special place in my heart.

Or so I thought.

**sigh**

I wish I could feel what I always used to feel. I felt nothing tonight. No warmth. No delight. Just a hollowness.

And then I went into a full MST3K monologue, mocking my once beloved movie. I wish someone had been here to laugh. I miss laughter. Saying something and someone else snickering or smiling or even totally losing it in gales of laughter…now that’s one of the most wonderful things in the world.

But I couldn’t even feel the humor. Just nothing.

I’m not sure it’s the fault of Star Wars. I’m not feeling anything much from things I have always loved. Nothing brings delight. Not anything I watch or read or listen to or eat or wear or do or…. I can’t blame any of it on what I loved failing me. They are unchanged (well, relatively…damn you Lucas) but something about me has.

I’ve had all my hope worn away. It’s too hard to be happy anymore. Surviving is all I feel like I do, but I’m doing it by habit and my core obstinance rather than caring.

You can’t really love if you can’t even care. I know I love these things, but it’s like knowing you are supposed to love someone while suffering from amnesia.

Funny though that I can still feel grief over all this. I mourn loving things. It scares me, this nothingness where I always felt so much.

** I wore that vest to school every single day for at least a year! It’s so beyond ridiculous!

I mean, I always seemed to have a “thing” I wore like a life line, connecting me to the “real” me. School was traumatic, and I was losing myself to to it. I’d gone from extravert to introvert, and told myself I was just acting to survive. But I felt it happening, the crippling insecurity, the fear of people, seeping into my bones. So I’d wear something. For it a few years it was my ankh (lost), then my amethyst amulet (lost), then my denim jacket with a daily rotation of buttons/ pins/badges/brooches, and finally my leather jacket (my beloved). But that year did I have to latch onto this utterly geeky bit of clothing???

Of course, no one ever seemed to guess it was from Star Wars. You see, the movies were super popular, but geeks were NOT. To admit you knew what it was was to admit you were a geek too. I was the school’s (a K-12 school at that!) only open geek. I even wrote my senior year term paper on comics….’cause fuck it, I’ll never be popular but I can at least be me!

Gah, I remember Coach G—— (how victorian of me!) , the health/PE/science teacher, used to stand behind me pulling at the loops on the back of the vest. He’d be talking away and suddenly I’d feel the yank, yank, yank he pulled me back and forth. Drove me nuts, but hey, at least he never groped me like I heard some girls had to deal with.

(WTF was with our school always having the coaches teach science when most of them had no interest or knowledge of the subject?? Tells you the value they put in science here, and why my father did a TON of volunteer work in those classes!

***TBH, I had this feeling that all the movies, books, comics, and tv shows I loved created a I kind of mosaic of me. To know what I loved was find out all the puzzle pieces you needed to see who I was. I desperately wanted to be understood. The things I liked would let me be found by someone.

Actually, wearing my geekiness out in the open was like advertising! I was hoping against hope someone would one day see a book I was reading or a t-shirt I was wearing and say “Hey! I like that too!!”

Which is a bit absurd. No two people see things the same way. The thing I liked my be perceived completely differently by someone else. WHY I like what I like is the actual key, and I’m the only one really that knows that.

Plus, hick town, teeny population, still in the anti-geek era…..yeah, I wasn’t exactly gonna get lucky. My parents did when they met, but to think I would too is like expecting to win the lottery because your parents did!

[k-dokja]

Poke. Poke. Poke.

“…”

Poke. Poke.

“…”

Poke.

“…”

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke—

“Don’t you have shit to do?! Stop fucking around!” You swat at James with the nearest object you can get your hand on—a whole encyclopedia you pulled out earlier. Fortunately for him, he manages to dodge in time to avoid your lethal strike.

Still, if you think your anger can make his persistence wane, you have a whole other thing coming to you.

“Don’t ignore me, I’m bored,” he drawls, scooting up behind you again. His chin sits on your shoulder and weighs you down, but your effort in pushing him away is retaliated by him wrapping his arms around your midsection. His legs cage your crossed ones, keeping you snugly trapped inside his hold.

“And I’m working, go bother someone else,” you shoo him away but only succeed in getting James to press his teeth on your shoulder.

“Don’t wanna,” he sinks his teeth further into your shoulder, hoping to hinder you from your online activity. “Besides, you’re only doing busy work. If it’s really that urgent then you wouldn’t be sitting at home.”

James smiles sweetly when you glare sideway at him, but your ire is more directed towards his hand than anything else—the one fondling your chest through the fabric of your shirt. He hums in satisfaction when he discovers that you aren’t wearing a bra underneath, making it easy for him to rub and pull at your nipple.

Your breath hitches. But that’s all he gets from you before you smack his hand and try to shake him off. “Stop fucking around!”

“Aww,” James pouts, nuzzling his nose at your shoulder. “But I want something to play with.”

“Would you shut up?!”

As James sits to nurse the bump on his head, he bites down on his lollipop, pouting harder than ever before. “You didn’t have to hit me that hard, I was just messing around.”

Silence.

“You know, this is domestic violence,” he points out, jabbing a finger at your general direction.

However, you only answer him with a deadpan. “It’s actually animal abuse.”

“Hey!” He can’t help his snickering. “Does that mean I’m your pet?”

You grumble, returning to your previous work. “A really annoying one.”

“Yeah?” James teases with an all-too excited grin that you don’t feel good about. “Why don’t we—”

“No.” You cut in. Dead serious eyes stare at him. “Shut up. Do you want to die?”

James only grins impishly and you have half the mind to immediately leave the room. Finally, you heave out a sigh of defeat before conceding. “Let me finish this research and I will play with you. Okay?”

“Hm.”

“Don’t ‘hm’ me, that’s my final offer.”

“Fine,” he shrugs, “but at least, let me mess around a little.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose before resigning to the reality you’re living in, “Just don’t be a pest about it.”

James smirks before scooting closer to you again. “Deal,” he says but when his hands begin to wander again, he immediately feels you tense up.

Although, that might be on him for shoving it into your pants. The thing is being so awfully obstructive.

“James Lee!”

[qiutls]

TNGDH 001

I became a hamster. No wonder I thought I was hearing squeaks last night, it turned out to be like this. Shiny golden fur that doesn’t lose its light even in the dark. Four lovely pink-tinted feet. Long whiskers that twitch whenever I move my cheeks. The black curtains flutter and the light leaks in from the steel cage hitting my eyes. Wait a minute… a steel… cage? A cage?! ― Eek. (Why?) I didn’t just become a hamster. I became a hamster that’s been trapped somewhere. * Thud. Thud. Thud. The cage I was in suddenly shook heavily and my small body rolled around in different directions as the cage kept moving. Who is it?! Who the hell drives like this?! Can’t you drive safely! Thump. My body sways to the corner again and I feel my butt stinging from falling too many times. Then I heard a horse sniffing, it felt thrilling to think that I was going to ride a horse. However, it only felt thrilling for a bit before I thought, It seems like I’m gonna be meeting King Yeomra. King Yeomra is the King of the underworld, hamster thinks he'll die because of the cage being shaken. Where the hell are we going? Why did I become a hamster? And why the hell are we not riding a bus or a train, but riding a horse? This is unfair, I feel so wronged. It’s so absurd that I have to explain, it’s so obvious that I’m a human not a hamster! That’s right I’m human! Bae Soohyun. I’m turning 27 this year. Even though my life was like a thorny path, I am a small mugwort that didn’t give up and kept living. It was a life where it seemed like I kept working day, night, dawn, early in the morning, from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday to Thursday to Friday to Friday to Friday… But I had no doubt that my hard work would pay off. After years of hard work, it seems the day has finally come. The day when the game I developed became a big hit. I think it’s dead. Dead… That’s right… I died. After the earlier confusion of becoming a hamster has passed, my memories slowly started to come back. The game became popular and it felt like the son I was raising finally became successful. I was finally able to receive the first batch of settlement money thanks to the game. I rushed back home feeling so happy that I could fly. Rattle. The cage suddenly shook as the horse started moving. And I started shaking back and forth, my head felt like it was going to pop and my eyes slowly lost shine as I felt dizzier and dizzier. Are you kidding me?! I kicked the cage a few times hoping for the shaking to stop and then heard a voice not so distant. “I’m sorry.” An unfamiliar, deep yet friendly voice. “Just endure it for a little bit more.” But why did it feel like I’ve heard this line somewhere before. I’m sorry, just endure it for a little bit more. I’ll take you to your new home soon. It suddenly came to mind. While walking at the crossing on my way home, I bumped into a child who seemed anxious while carrying a hamster cage, then a car hit my body. I instinctively felt my death then, all my senses were occupied by the fact that I was hit by a car, and my consciousness started fading away. Twinkle. In front of my eyes something glistened brightly. Wait a minute, what’s that blue thing… [ Hello World! ] I was stunned by the blue system filling up my field of vision. A familiar phrase, the most basic sentence someone with programming knowledge would know. This is the very first phrase you learn to code when you start programming. Then, several windows came up one after another.

[ Connection confirmed. Checking data. ] [ Determining quest. ] [ Calculating miracle value. ] [ Synchronization not complete. Please wait. ] [ Synchronization 0% complete. ] What does this mean? Data? Quest? Synchronization? Since the moment I woke up, this ridiculous situation started and kept going, I didn’t even get the chance to be surprised. While in a daze, the horse which had been rattling the cage non-stop suddenly fell silent and the owner of the voice earlier seemed to get off the horse. The tumultuous movement stopped, but I still felt nauseous. The cold wind blew into the cage, and I shivered. Suddenly, I heard another distant voice. “Your Highness, are you sure you don’t want to throw it out?” Your… Highness? First I rode a horse, now someone’s talking to a royal. These are words that you wouldn’t even hear in 21st century Korea. The term “Your Highness” is only something I heard as a child watching sageuk dramas. Then the deep voice I heard earlier replied. Sageuk is a k-drama genre in which characters wear historical costumes. “It’s a pup that was left alone by the horde, don’t you feel it’s a bit pitiful?” pup - baby hamster / horde - group of baby hamsters “What pity, Your Highness? It’s a child of a demonic beast, when it grows up,it will learn to seduce its prey.” I looked down at my small and round body, what do you mean seduce? Is this body even capable of seducing? In the first place, I’m not even a demonic beast, just a normal hamster, no I mean human! Heh, you’re quite convincing using that serious voice of yours, but you’re obviously joking! The man with the deep voice suddenly cut through my thoughts. “It’s still a child.” “A child of a demonic beast, Your Highness.” “That’s right, a child.” “Your Highness, the most important thing is that it’s a demonic beast!” That… Can you please stop referring to me as a child. It’s weird… While I was grumbling away my frustrations, I heard the man speak, this time anger laced his voice. “Are you questioning my decision?” He spoke words that could normally be taken lightly yet the way he enunciated it word by word felt like a threat, and that there was only one correct answer. “No, Your Highness, I was just momentarily confused since such a thing has never happened before. How dare I question the Grand Prince’s decision.” “Right. So, I’ll take care of it, surely you don’t think I am weaker than a demonic beast that’s barely the size of my fist?” You’re telling me he’s not just a royal, he’s the Grand Prince? “I already sent a man to the estate to prepare it's house, it would be fun to add little ornaments with it.” “Your Highness, you can also raise a real hamster, should I tell the man to prepare another one?” “No. Don’t test my patience.” “…Yes” This person is quite stubborn huh.

Soon the cage started shaking again, this time as the man walked, I could hear his armor rattling and his heavy footsteps rang. Then I felt the air around me get warmer little by little as he marched up the stairs.

It must be winter. Yet I died during summer, now I realize the abnormality of the situation. The man took me to a room and then removed the cloth covering the cage.

“Here we are.” I crouched in a corner and pretended to be asleep desperately. Somehow it felt like the smart thing to do, I couldn’t speak even if I wanted to tell him about my situation. Even if I told him, who’s to say he will not decapitate me for spewing nonsense.

How did my life become like this! Give me back my money! My skills! My future that was unfolding brilliantly! “Tsk. Tsk.” The man clicked his tongue, then he sighed deeply. Hey! I’m the one who’s supposed to be sad at this situation, why are you the one clicking your tongue! Ah, I really hate when people do that… Oh right, I was pretending to be asleep… Sleep… “Does it really not have a human heart?” He murmured.

What human heart? What is he talking about? “Looking at these naive eyes, before it turned into a demonic beast, did it really not have the heart of a human?” N-naive? Which eyes looked naive? Surely it’s not mine? “That’s right, for them there’s no such thing as compassion... Did I stay away from the North for too long? It’s no different from a glacier, it’s freezing. Tsk.” Suddenly, the man opened the cage, stretched out his hand and caught me in his palm.

― Eek! I was so surprised I forgot I was pretending to sleep, as I opened my eyes, I made eye contact with him.

[ 50% synchronized. ]

[ Kyle Jane Minehardt. Great Duke of Blake. ]

The blue system window showed up below his face. Hold on, this name, I’ve heard of it somewhere. Without knowing what was in my head the whole time, he raised me closer to his face. I felt his warm hand full of scars and calluses against my soft fur. Then he rubbed my cheek.

E-excuse me?! “You did well enduring the ride home, cashew nut, you must’ve been bored the whole way.” Bored? The ride was full of shock and horror for me, okay?! Wait, aside from that, can’t you put me down first? What the hell is this situation, why did you suddenly remove me from the cage… Wait! No! Don’t peck me! ― Squeak! Eek!  [ Let me go! ]

“Yes, yes, I know how you feel.” What do you know… You don’t understand a thing! Ack! Why’s he kissing me like he’s dying of love! A kiss… ― Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!  [ You bastard! What kind of dog kisses nonstop like you?! ]

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” ― Squeak! [ Get lost! ] “Did you like being kissed?” I can’t take this anymore!

Wait a minute… This face… I took a moment to observe all his features, his pale yet tough complexion, distinct eyebrows, his hair that’s dark as a raven, his eyes which glowed crimson. A cold and resolute beauty.

― Eek! [ Grand Duke Blake ] I remember. The Duke of the North, Kyle. A supporting actor from the novel, The Heart of Winter, I always read while traveling to and from my company. Not only was he a supporting actor, he’s a supporting actor that dies in the middle of the novel. A man who’s life was miserable from start to finish, yet died with no regrets. The reason why I remember him, and not the protagonists of the story, was that he’s the unluckiest character in the novel. He was unlucky to the extent that I lamented his cold fate many times.

So, I died, and transmigrated into a novel? “Cashew nut?” Cashew nut, my name, I mean the name of the hamster’s body I’m occupying. Kyle stared at me, he seemed to be worried as if something went wrong. His gaze was warm and full of kindness.

Stop looking at me! This bastard, you’re gonna pierce through me with that stare! I’m just worn out… I flicked my head away from his stare, and turned back to glare at him. I tried my hardest to look as mean as possible.

“That look…” It’s scary right?! You’re so afraid you could die, right? I look like a dangerous demon, don’t I?! So put me down!!! You kiss crazed bastard! [ Cold and strict personality. Clean and thorough. Frigid and Merciless. ] “You look so cute, staring at me like that.” Aren’t you the cold blooded Duke of the North?! Let go of me! What do you mean cold and strict?! What merciless? ― Squeak! [ Let go! ]

Yet the Duke didn’t let me down for a long time and I had to put up with the crazy kisses the he bestowed.

Help me, please! Save this hamster!

novel ⠀✿⠀ next

[rainbowdaisy13]

TTPD The Anthology Summary Part 1 *IMO*

This is viewed through a queer lens because I believe she is fucking done playing nice so now she’s throwing it in our faces—FUCKING SEE ME

1) Fortnight—

I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me/I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic

*MIGHTY GOD we start right out the gate sad as hell—no one noticed her queer flagging both quiet and loud and that pushed her from being a functioning alcoholic to a not functioning one. She then says to the fans who refused to acknowledge her truth “I hope that you’re ok but you’re the reason” FOR ME BEING INSANE

*Mentioning wanting to kill people that’s a first and I love it

*I love you it’s ruining my life OUCH 🤕 yes that sounds like something straight people deal with 😑

2) TTPD-

*I’m sorry I can’t remember what mutual said this, but I love love this as coming from Karlie’s perspective. It absolutely fits. She ground Taylor in a way no one else can

*First mention of suicide—both can’t live without the other

*Were crazy—owning the demons together

*The wedding ring line—GOD

3) MBOBHFT—

*I see this one as Taylor viewing herself as a commodity, also as someone who is broken and needs to be fixed so that she remains lovable. It also gives me Cardigan vibes without the redemption arc

4) Down Bad—

*Love this Alien Abduction theme. Melody is even spacey sounding. The entire song uses alien motifs and I adore it. Fave line “they’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you” Brilliant 👽 Also the concept of an Out of this World Love

5) So Long London—

*Cool opening—beautiful when they layer her own voice

How much sad did you think I had in me? 😫

*I see this song as a My Tears Ricochet 2. Taylor giving all her youth to someone for free. You say I abandon the ship but I was going down with it—I truly believe she tried and begged them to let her come out for years and she was always shot down—2 graves 1 gun, more murder imagery

*So Long London, so long Big Machine

6) BDILH—

Absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking song

These people only raise you to cage you 😫

*Sarahs and Hannahs/braided hair/church/Elders making decisions—giving cult/LDS vibes

Stay away from her -Elders are yelling this—to who? Taylor? So Taylor needs to stay away from HER interesting

*Shed rather burn it all down than listen to them complain about her sexuality and how it impacts them

My good name, it’s mine alone to disgrace —absolutely shots fired at Scott Swift

*Soliloquies line is incredible—“I’ll never see” is such a burn 😆

*This isn’t a phase, this is who she is!!

*YOU AINT GOTTA PRAY FOR ME!! GET THEM ALL BITCH—SHOW THEIR ASSES

*This is my choice!!

GET 👏🏼 THEM 👏🏼 ALL

NO YOU CANT COME TO THE WEDDING PERIOD

7) FOTS—

*Pretty Baby, much like Babydoll is reserved for women and gay men and theys and thems. We don’t call straight men this 😒

*Fresh out the slammer—realllly trying to get these idiots to understand that she’s felt jailed /caged/trapped

My friends…Watch me daily disappearing 😫 fuck

Wearing Imaginary rings 😫😫😫 Says hello to paper rings says hello to imaginary lockets

*It’s gonna be alright she did her time!! 🥹

8) FLORIDA!!!—

I adore this song—my second fave on the album and absolute fucking banger. So glad Florence agreed to this they makes an amazing duo vocally—main vibes—Florida is the place Taylor wants to go to fucking escape the mess she lives in day to day. Anything goes, everyone is there hiding from something—the law, family, winter—nothing is too weird or unaccepted—and a certain someone has a house there 😎

My friends all smell like weed or little babies 😆

Florence’s verse is chefs kiss—Earl had to die vibes, watching bodies sink into the swamp, just full on misandry I LOVE IT—is that a bad thing to say in a song?? 😆 GET THEM ALL

Also I bet this song made Swifties uncomfortable 😆

FUCK ME UP FLORIDA 🤘🏼🤘🏿🤘🏾

9) Guilty as sin?

The Gay Longing/Gay Sex Song

*Another* suicide reference—but she’s just joking right swifities?

👀

No no that’s fine she just described an orgasm and if she’s not touching the person, let’s assume the pic below ⬇️ is like HEY THIS IS THE SEX IM SPEAKING ABOUT—it’s very much giving The Man pose for getting dome👀

And then the Jesus reference is just chefs kiss—gay sex is seen as sin and unholy by idiots and she said ok then bitch, what if I tell you the sex is so good we ARE what’s holy??

👀

She literally said messy top lip kiss and got away with it like 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

10) WAOLOM—

I just……this may be my favorite song of hers ever. It’s absolutely incredible in its intensity, rawness, and truth as well as being a banger

Every lyric screams her pain

My bare hands paved their path/you don’t get to tell me about sad/ If you wanted me dead you should’ve just said

I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street —Witch Imagery again!!

WHOSE AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME

👹YOU SHOULD BE 👹

Shots fired again at Scott Swift!! Let’s hear one more joke—they mocked her pain because they truly thought they could convince her she wasn’t gay 🫥

GODDDD 😫

Put narcotics into all of my songs—“a drug or other substance that affects mood or behavior and is consumed for nonmedical purposes, especially one sold illegally—a drug that relieves pain and induces drowsiness, stupor, or insensibility”

SHE SAID I HAVE TO USE MALE PRONOUNS AND FAKE REFERENCES TO MEN IN MY LYRICS SO YOU IDIOTS STAY STUPID AND HAPPY

and that’s why you’re still singing along 😎

Just WOW

Brilliant and Heartbreaking and RAW

🤍🤍🤍 We love you Girl 🤍🤍🤍

[dreamsinger-rose]

Musings about Trolls Band Together

Secrets, Timelines, and Why In The Heck Would Branch’s Brothers Leave Him To Die At The Claws of the Bergens?!

Hello, good readers! Now that I’ve seen Trolls Band Together, I’m going to start making some new blog posts about our favorite Broppy couple and exploring the world of the trolls in general. Needless to say, this is basically going to be all spoilers, so read only if you don’t mind knowing ahead of time everything that happens in this deeply-satisfying, long-awaited backstory of a movie 😊

The first thing that comes to mind is that when John Dory, Branch’s long-lost brother, first appears, Poppy asks her father if he knew about Branch’s brothers. Looking guilty, he deflects her question. “How would I know anything about secret family members?” Obviously he was also talking about Poppy’s similarly long-lost sister, Viva, but as the troll who was king at the time Branch’s brothers presumably lived in the troll tree, I think he did know.

Maybe he kept quiet because he or Grandma Rosiepuff decided not to keep upsetting him with talk of the brothers who left. Maybe little Branch himself asked him never to mention them again, once he was sure they were never coming back. Or maybe Peppy and Branch did occasionally talk about them in private, but if so, they obviously never told anyone else, not even Poppy.

After World Tour, I suspect Peppy knows a LOT more than he’s ever told his young daughter, in order to let her stay happy. Now that we know there’s an even bigger world out there, full of other societies than trolls and bergens, it’s obvious that he wanted the village to be this idyllic place where his trolls could live innocent, happy lives. I can’t blame him for that. I’m sure they all needed the chance to heal after the trauma the bergens inflicted on them. They needed to feel safe. It seems to have worked, at least for the younger trolls who’ve never known anything else. I have to wonder how many older trolls are more like Branch, hiding emotional scars deep inside.

I also wonder about the brothers’ origins. WERE they all originally troll-tree trolls? If so, did they grow up under the bergen threat, or had the bergens not started eating trolls at the time the brothers left? I got the impression that Trollstice had been happening for years. Yet I find it hard to believe that if they were going to leave, that they’d leave Bitty B in such a dangerous situation. Not after how they greeted him with such (adorable, heartwarming) affection the minute they saw him again.

So it makes more sense that they would have left Branch at the tree before the bergens came along. That would make an awfully short amount of time for Trollstice to become the “tradition” Poppy describes it as in the first movie. Then again, considering the ratio of bergens to trolls in the first movie, if every bergen got to eat a troll once a year, that would mean dozens of trolls would have been lost every single year, enough to decimate the population in a very short time. Peppy escaped with roughly only a hundred trolls, as far as I could tell. Viva rescued maybe another 30(?) Mostly children, by the look of them. Enough for them grow up and create a second generation by the time Band Together starts.

I wish we knew how many trolls there had been originally. Tiny as trolls are, a tree the size of the troll tree should have been able to host at least 500 trolls, if not double that. If the village had originally had about 500 trolls, it would have only taken about four years to lose ¾ of their people. Yikes! I can’t imagine the young King Peppy waiting even a year to try to rescue his people if that kept happening.

Which leads me to wonder if Peppy was originally not from the troll tree. What if he was a roving adventurer like John Dory, who had come upon this caged troll tree full of trapped, desperate trolls who needed his help? Maybe he fell in love with Poppy’s mother, (the princess?) and decided to stay? They made him their king, and he rescued them. What happened to the former rulers?

All of this makes me wonder if Branch’s family were actually big-city trolls who simply left their baby brother with their quaint country grandma, under the impression that he’d be safe there. Before the bergens became a threat, obviously.

If the bergens were already eating trolls by the time the brothers left, (which I doubt, since there was no mention of that) I have two theories as to why they’d do such a selfish, callous thing. Either the trolls didn’t consider the bergens much of a threat (at first), or they didn’t know the bergens were behind the disappearances of their people. It’s even possible that, like in my fanfiction Picturebook Romance, the bergens (mainly Chef) pretended to be their friends at first, until the cage was built. And then it was too late.

LOL I keep remembering Poppy’s comment upon meeting John Dory. “You’re the old one!” He wasn’t too happy about that. But I can easily imagine Peppy being like JD, which might explain why he’s also kind of “old” to be Poppy’s dad.

[thecrxwclub]

assigning taylor swift songs to grishaverse characters + ships because i don’t want to do my actual work!! this is about to be long as hell!!

notes: i feel like some of these will be unpopular opinions but here we are + there are two instances where ppl have the same song (long story short and you’re on your own kid) but i just think it applies to both characters really well. and idk why basically all the crows are from midnights, it’s just a soc album i guess.

ALINA STARKOV

– long story short : evermore

"Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things. Your nemeses will defeat themselves before you get the chance to swing…and I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole. Long story short, it was a bad time. Pushed from the precipice, climbed right back up the cliff. Long story short, I survived. Now I’m all about you, I’m all about you. Long story short, it was a bad time. Long story short, I survived.”

MAL ORETSEV

– this is me trying : folklore

“They told me all of my cages were mental. So I got wasted like all my potential. And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I have a lot of regrets about that…I just wanted you to know that this is me trying. At least I’m trying.”

NIKOLAI LANTSOV

– Mastermind : Midnights

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid. So I’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since. To make them love me and make it seem effortless. This is the first time I’ve felt the need to confess. And I swear I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian ‘cause I care.”

ZOYA NAZYALENSKY

– You’re On Your Own Kid : Midnights

“You’re on your own, kid. You always have been. From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes, I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this. I hosted parties and starved my body. Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss. The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say. I looked around in a blood-soaked gown, and I saw something they can’t take away.”

KAZ BREKKER

– Dear Reader : Midnights

"Dear Reader, if it feels like a trap you’re already in one. Dear Reader, get out your map. Pick somewhere and just run. Dear Reader, burn all the files, desert all your past lives. And if you don’t recognize yourself that means you did it right. Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart…Dear Reader, the greatest of luxuries is your secrets. Dear Reader, when you aim at the devil make sure you don’t miss.”

INEJ GHAFA

– Karma : Midnights

“Karma is my boyfriend. Karma is a god, karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. Karma’s a relaxing thought, aren’t you envious that for you it’s not? Sweet like honey, karma is a cat, purring in my lap ‘cause it loves me. Flexing like a goddamn acrobat. Me and karma vibe like that.”

NINA ZENIK

– Bejeweled : Midnights

“Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky…And you can try to change my mind. But you might have to wait in line. What’s a girl gonna do? A diamond’s gotta shine. Best believe I’m still bejeweled. When I walk in a room, I can still make the whole place shimmer…Diamonds in my eyes. I polish up real, I polish up real nice.”

JESPER FAHEY

– Anti-Hero : Midnights

"I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser. Midnights become my afternoons. When my depression works the graveyard shift all of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room…It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me. At tea time, everybody agrees. I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror. It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.”

WYLAN VAN ECK

– You’re On Your Own Kid : Midnights

“Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned. Everything you lose is a step you take. So make the friendship bracelets, take a moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid. You’re on your own, kid. Yeah, you can face this. You’re on your own kid, you always have been.”

MATTHIAS HELVAR

– ivy : evermore

"How’s one to know? I’d live and die for moments that we stole. On begged and borrowed time…oh, goddamn. My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand taking mine, but it’s been promised to another. Oh, I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland. My house of stone, your ivy grows, and now I’m covered in you.”

GENYA SAFIN

– Clean : 1989

“Hung my head as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm. Rain came pouring down. When I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe. And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean.”

DAVID KOSTYK

– Sweet Nothing : Midnights

"On the way home I wrote a poem. You say ‘what a mind’, this happens all the time. ‘Cause they said the end is coming. Everyone’s up to something. I find myself running home to your sweet nothings. Outside, they’re push and shoving. You’re in the kitchen humming. All that you ever wanted from me was nothing.”

THE DARKLING

I Did Something Bad : Reputation

"They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one. They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons. They’re burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one. So light me, go ahead and light me up. They say I did something bad. Then why’s it feel so good? They say I did something bad. But why’s it feel so good? Most fun I ever had, and I’d do it over and over and over again if I could. It just felt so good.”

TOLYA YUL-BATAAR

– epiphany : folklore

"Keep your helmet, keep your life, son. Just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle…With you I serve. With you, I fall down. Watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out. Only 20 minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany. Just one single glimpse of relief, to make some sense of what you’ve seen.”

TAMAR KIR-BATAAR

– Only the Young : Featured in “Miss Americana”

“They aren’t gonna help us, too busy helping themselves. They aren’t gonna change this, we gotta do it ourselves. They think that it’s over, but it’s just begun. Only one thing can save us…Don’t say you’re too tired to fight, it’s just a matter of time. Up there’s the finish line. Only the young can run.”

HANNE BRUM

– long story short : evermore

“Fatefully, I tried to pick my battles ‘til the battle picked me. Misery. Like the war of words I shouted in my sleep. And you passed right by, I was in the alley, surrounded on all sides. The knife cuts both ways. If the shoe fits, walk in it ‘til your high heels break.”

–––––––––––––––––––––

KANEJ

– Renegade : How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last?

“Are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these? And let all your damage damage me? And carry your baggage up my street and make me your future history? It’s time, you’ve come a long way. Open the blinds, let me see your face. You wouldn’t be the first renegade to need somebody. Is it insensitive for me to say ‘get your shit together so I can love you’?"

HELNIK

– Long Live : Speak Now

“Long, long live the walls we crashed through. All the kingdom lights shine, just for me and you. I was screaming, long live all the magic we made, and being on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid. Singing long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you. And long, long live that look on your face. And bring on all the pretenders. One day, we will be remembered.”

WESPER

– Paper Rings : Lover

“Kiss me once ‘cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright. Three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life. I like shiny things, but I’d marry you with paper rings. Darling, you’re the one I want, and I hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this.”

ZOYALAI

– The Great War : Midnights

"And we will never go back to that bloodshed, crimson clover. The worst was over. My hand was the one you reached for all throughout the Great War. Always remember we’re burned for better, I vowed I would always be yours. ‘Cause we survived the Great War.”

MALINA

– invisible string : folklore

“Time, curious time. Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs. Were there clues I didn’t see? And isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

DARKLINA

– Dear John : Speak Now

“You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry. Never impressed by me acing your tests. All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes ‘cause you burned them out. But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don’t look now.”

DANYA

— Last Kiss : Speak Now

“But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes. All that I know is I don’t know how to be something you miss. I never thought we’d have a last kiss. Never imagined we’d end like this. Your name, forever the name on my lips.”

TAMADIA

— Lover : Lover

“My heart’s been borrowed, and yours has been blue. All’s well that ends well to end up with you…Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever? And I, take me out, and take me home. You’re my, my, my, my lover.”

HANNINA

— Daylight : Lover

“I’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye. I don’t want to look at anything else now that I saw you. And I don’t want to think of anything else now that I thought of you. I’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, but now I see daylight. I only see daylight.”

[jenyifer]

Dead Friend Forever ep 12 initial reaction

It’s over am I happy? Not particularly. It is interesting though. Let’s go over it and then I’ll make my rating post for the whole series

Disclaimer upfront I get triggered by blood so I did watch some scenes with my hands covering the top of the scene so maybe I missed things.

Okay so let’s get into the ep

I find it interesting that Top, Jin, and Fluke all include their ‘friends’ in their hallucinations. While White, Phee, Tee are more self solo focused. I imagine if Por was alive his nightmare scenario would be group based because he wanted to be cool or if it was solo maybe it would be man he’s a really big asshole personality wise. Probably good he didn’t live to this last scene would have been redundant or abhorrent.

So Fluke was afraid of being bullied by Top and Tee. He never really felt a hundred percent with the group. I find it telling that Por and Non convince him to take his eyes out because people felt like he had no guilt for both of their deaths. Realistically if Fluke had stood up to Top and Tee when the camera got broken I do think because Fluke and Por were good friends Por might have believed Fluke over Top but maybe not. Por was an asshole. But him doing anything in the other scenes won’t have really helped. He didn’t have any power in the group dynamic. He wasn’t even particularly close to Jin the reason they both found non and the teacher was because they were in the same class.

I started to get suspicious we might be in dream sess for Top’s he’ll scape. 1 idk how he is still alive 2 he’s still very much on drugs anyways. Also the fear of being betrayed by his friends them not listening to him was an interesting motivation. We saying top was a people pleaser I guess? Idk I wanted more from his character. Did find it poetic he and Fluke offed each other when their fears were so routed in their friendships their bonds. Then that’s what threw them down the stairs.

Tee 😭😭😭😭 even in the nightmare trying to help Non over and over trying to give him hope. Trying to do all that he could. Trapped and trying his best. Shows that he deeply fundamentally didn’t want to be a bad guy. A caged animal tortured animal doesn’t run when you open the cage you have to show it the way out first. I think Tee was hoping seeing Non escape would mean he could go for his freedom too. I cried during his and White’s scene. Also how beautiful are they? I hope Tee survives

Once again I think something bad happened to White to make him feel like he’s dirty that he’s automatically a slut for making friends. Yes Tee gets jealous but I won’t say it’s abnormally so White puts that pressure on himself. He desperately wanted to be Tee’s above all else a very sweet motivator. I once again cried watching what happened. I’m glad Tan had second doubts about his death at least.

Jin stalker/unhealthy obsession? Idk it’s just what the TV imagery and the cell phones make me think of Because my mind goes to BTS Suga’s solo MV for Shadow. Jin’s certainly ashamed of what he did. He also had his friends in there saying he was scared they’d hate me. Very interesting. Jin is MAJORLY insecure. He values his perception and hates who he really is and the pleasure he desires. I was disappointed to see him still alive but then again if he had that injury I was curious if he would survive just based on blood loss to the hospital. Really really hated the visuals on that so… maybe I missed something

Found it heartbreaking that New’s Non was a good little brother. Ugh I can’t imagine losing my sister and this scene really hurts. That New has done all this shit but deep down he knows what New really felt about him and New’s scared he’s done the wrong thing.

Found it sus we see New die of a gut injury when the shot hit his shoulder. But was sweet that Non came back to thank him in his head. A good end although doubting it happened.

Wow Jin being the human one in this scene of the future. I guess he’d be an idealized version of Jin.

Uhhhhh yes? In that Tee would need to accept what happened and seek help. But also no? Phee showing his double standard here. Phee didn’t you just learn you would have been there for Non if you could? Well if Tee was suffering like that Phee you should visit him even if it’s hard it’d be his duty. Phee is partly responsible for what happened. Phee you can care about people you ain’t fucking and or their family members. It’s okay to have friends naturally and support them.

Season 2!!!! Big reveal? So how much of this ep was a dream?? Whole thing? From when new used the gas? I also wonder would New’s protections for himself actually work? Yes he has those cure smoke things but the nightmare stuff is still in everything. I would like it if maybe Non had survived and some how drugged them all? I don’t think he did but 9th person Mr Keng? Non? White? Steps in and all of this outcome has been Phee’s interpretation of the truth ep 12? Maybe idk. I can’t wait for season 2

[embarrassinglastwords]

i genuinely can’t take any hate towards geto seriously because no way you look at what he went through and say he was just always evil. he is a character who was so doomed from the start it drives me crazy.

we don’t know anything about his childhood or home life but we do know his parents weren’t sorcerers. i’m not trying to create something to be sad about simply saying we’ve seen how non sorcerers treat sorcerers so it’s not out of the question he struggled growing up.

at school he has a somewhat good environment of people and friends he loves and that love him. he has a best friend and they love being with each other. they do everything and go everywhere together. they are “the strongest” and it’s them against the world. however he will never be stronger than this friend. he will always be second. (not blaming gojo whatsoever just giving perspective)

one day they’re hired to protect a 14 yr old girl until her death which is being deemed as being for a good cause. then he watches that child die right in front of him because a group of people wanted her dead.

he then, after thinking his best friend has been killed as well, proceeds to almost die himself but is left alive only cause of his ability that he deems as gross and being like “swallowing a rag that’s been used to wipe of vomit.” it has become the value of his life.

then while already looking like this and really struggling

he loses a schoolmate. and not just loses, but a schoolmate who is cut in half by a curse that was so much stronger than him. a young , innocent, and wholesome kid doesn’t get to live life because he isn’t cared about.

then, after having a conversation with someone as strong as yuki and her “encouraging” (for lack of a better word) his crazy ideas he discovers miminana. two little girls being at the very least trapped in a cage because they are different. once again in his life seeing the weak he’s supposed to protect not care about people like him. so yeah, he breaks. he takes the small thing yuki says and runs with it.

i also think everyone who says he was cold blooded and heartless just for the sake of it missed this line

even after finding a new purpose, he was still never truly happy. even after essentially becoming a dad and having a new family he still couldn’t smile in this world.the depressed geto we saw in ep 5 never went away.

then his life was ended by his best friend at the school that caused him to spiral in the first place. and now his body is being used for actual pure evil.

i’m not saying he did everything the right way and he did nothing wrong ever however i’m just saying i think people who hate him and say he was always evil clearly didn’t watch or read jjk. he wanted to make the world better for the people he cared about most and couldn’t do it. i just think he’s a very tragic character through and through and he’s not even getting to rest easy because of kenjaku.

[jgydidnothingwrong]

Fic Writer Q&A

Tagged by @cryptidafter

How many wips do you have currently?

1. songxue hanahaki au. This one has priority and that’s the only thing I will say. 

2. bingyao. Basically, Luo Bingge jumping universes to found that nice shizun, getting trapped in the mdzs universe, meeting Meng Yao and offering him sex to he could develop a proper core. The Meng Yao getting cured with magical dick fic, basically. 

3. dinohiba, the usual bullshit about them being no in love lol (Dino thinking about what’s worse or best? Having sex with an illegal teenager because he’s in love? Or is the love an excuse and he’s only a pervert?) (based on “Baby said”, so Kyoya is there, like “shut up, let’s fuck lol) (I basically don’t care about the underage, but is funny to torture Dino from time to time)

4. xiyao idol!Meng Yao au. Based (lightly) on My Beautiful Man. Lan XiChen in this is a person justifying his obsession with “the fans online say this is normal, actually”. 

5. Third chapter of the alien au!! The xuexiao one!! I’ve finally decided Song Lan role in the story (he’s sadly dead). Another chapter in my very personal au based on Bloodchild, about humans accepting being used as host to aliens babies in exchange for living a comfortable life in another world. I love this fic, is my very special baby. This chapter is gonna fit the “love” from the title (Is “Greed, Horror, Love”). An love is violence. Love is violent in it’s nature and is Xue Yang’s love for his own life, and Xiao XingChen’s love for Song Lan who lead her to use Xue Yang because she will lose what’s left from Song Lan (in this universe, the female aliens are the ones who do the trade with humans, males are too savage, and maybe not developed enough, is not clear, but that’s how I will play it. Males die early and females store the sperm until they’re ready. That’s also not into the original story, but I need to invent some things).

6. Fierce corpse Meng Shi. So, basically Meng Shi died and turned into one for whatever reason and Jin GuangYao discovered when he moved her corpse to the temple, she’s been quiet because of the prayer and all that. My problem with this is, I can’t decide if I want a happy ending, like, Meng Shi saving Jin GuangYao, or if I want to turn it into a little horror, in the form of Meng Shi taking her son back because he was safe when he was inside of her body… and that’s why is still not finished. 

7. The xiyao fucking by mistake. Basically, Meng Yao tired of his life and watching JZX having a freaking amazing party while he gets nothing, so for one day, he wants to said “fuck it” to all. But he doesn’t believe in relationships, so he hires a scort. And Lan XiChen, by mistake, comes to his room. 

I have more but I’m tired haha

Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?

THE ALIEN AU!!!

Every chapter takes me a year from the moment I start, because I like this one very much, and I don’t want to feel like I’m insulting Octavia Butler, so I try to make it good. 

What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?

It doesn’t. I don’t wait for the inspiration anymore. But sometimes, in a good day, my brain feels alive, so I write. But I also write when my braid is dying. I write and expect for that spark to shine.

Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?

No, unless I decided for a song before, it doesn't matter, I don’t bother myself with it. Usually, the D18 have songs. Like, the one I’m writing is “Baby Said”, the last xiyao was “El Hombre Pájaro” and the epilogue for Silk Cage exists because of “Luz de día” but I don’t stress myself with thinking songs. 

Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?

Balls to the wall, I never organize anything lol.

Tagging: @mostlikelytofangirl @unfortunatelycake

And whoever wants to do it

[gray-lord-cat]

ACTIVE SOARING - Reiner x OC fem reader// CHAP 1 "White dreams"

“White dreams”

YEAR 845

“Vickyyy”

No, wait

“Vicky”

Just a little more, it’s that dream again

“Victoria!”

I need to know how it ends

“Victoria Orpheus”

Shit, it’s gone. What was… that dream? I can’t remember it anymore. I hate this feeling.

White dream id the feeling of having had a dream experience without being able to remember it entirely. I hate it.

“What is it, Manon?” I ask my sister while rubbing my eyes, still distressed about having my dream interrupted. I haven’t slept well in a while, I hope I don’t end up with Dad’s eyebags.

“They’re back! They’re finally back!”

“Who’s back?”

“The Survey Corps”

I let a big yawn and roll under the bed sheets again. “okay”

“Well?”

“’Well’?” God, please, let me rest

“Aren’t you going to come with me to see them? Come on, we don’t usually travel to this part of the Walls! It’s an opportunity that we can’t always have!”

“Yet, you always sneak out to see them. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes you even run away for days just to see them. And mom always gets mad at me for getting you out of sight.”

“And I always beg for forgiveness and get the beating.”

“You’re not sorry though, if you still do it.”

“No, in fact, I’m not” she winks at me

I sigh and close my eyes again, ignoring my insisting twin sister.

There’s no doubt she’s my twin, we’re the same, physically speaking. Sometimes not even our parents can guess who’s who. Our art name, the one that the circus fans gave us, “The Twin Redbirds”, speaks for itself as both my sister and I have curly red hair. We are amateur trapezes, under the guidance of our mother, Miranda Orpheus (before Jaques) alias “Moira”, the main trapeze dancer of the circus.

However, Manon and I know very well how different we are.

Manon is impulsive, stubborn, and direct yet very empathetic and childish. Even though we travel a lot due to the traveling circus, she always managed to make friends thanks to her friendly and extroverted personality. However, partially being my fault, she suddenly grew this habit of seeing the world in black and white.

Thanks to our aunt Lara, we secretly grew to share her curiosity about the world beyond the Walls and decided to see it for ourselves. This led Moira to develop a scornful attitude towards anyone content to live and die within the Walls' confines without ever setting foot outside. As a result of this, he greatly admired the soldiers of the Survey Corps, regarding them as "heroes" and wishing to join their ranks as soon as he became eligible for enrollment. She also developed a marked lack of self-restraint that often led her into trouble, causing me, Mom, dad, and the entire circus to worry. 

I know, she knows. We obviously don’t care, but our differences are causes of many fights.

“So you’re fine like this? Like an animal in a cage? Trapped in here?”

“Please not this again, I just woke up”

“You agree with me, I know you do. I know you want to seek the truth but as much as me. Don’t you want to see the ocean, people who don’t look like us, to be able to speak new languages, to try new food, to pet mysterious animals? You said you always wanted to see a zebra”

“We don’t even know if those books tell the truth and if any of those things exist”

“… why are you like this now? You were so eager to investigate and now you’re like these”

“what to do mean?”

“Since Aunt Lara died, you lost hope to look further the walls. You are like a slave to this hypocritic lie the monarchy foisted on us”

“you know why. If we continue we are going to end up like her. Dead in a tremendous way. I don’t want you to get hurt, or worse die. I love you, you’re my sister, you can’t leave me. Also, lower your voice when you give voice to your thoughts.”

“…pussy”

“excuse you”

“you heard me. You’re a pussy” I can see her sly smile, I know she’s teasing me, even though I suspect she mean it this time.

“you little-” I throw my pillow to her face as she dramatically falls on the bed and tries to tickle me

“c’mon Vi, don’t you wanna see Commander Erwin Smith all bloody and swe-”

“Manon!”

This time I’ll go with her.

I’ll follow her every chance I get. Just to know she’s safe and happy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They're gonna open the front gate!” she’s too excited to see the suicidal corps. And Commander Erwin Smith.

“Yes, Manny, I can see it”

“c’mon, let's go see the heroes return, Vicky!” She takes my hand and drags me closer to the anxious crowd. With the corner of my eye, I see a little boy, possibly my age, doing the same exact thing to another little girl on the other side of the road. Ah, the dreadful fate of older sisters (me being older by almost an hour is a privilege I always rub in Manon’s face).

“Damn! I can't see… ah here! … they're the only ones who made it back?”

“Everyone else must've gotten eaten”

There’s an uncomfortable silence between the people watching. The young ones are watching the soldiers in a stupor, some whisper prayers of comfort, others are looking at them with pity, others with disgust, I can see mothers looking for their children

“Moses! Moses!”

Oh no

An elderly woman with gray long hair and poorly dressed stand out of the crowd and stops a soldier, grabbing him by the collar.

“Excuse me, I don't see my son Moses anywhere. Do you know where he is?”

This is Moses' mother.

“So you’re Moses' mother. Go get it.”

I swear I saw her eyes light up for a moment just for the realization to hit.

“It's all we could retrieve.”

The soldier hands her the remaining of her son and she slowly unwraps them, frenetically. It’s his arm, Moses is just an arm now.

“But... my son...he was helpful, yes?” the woman falls to her knees and tries to blather, her eyes staring at… nothing really, even if her head is turned to the soldier in front of her.

“Even if he didn't achieve direct greatness...surely my son's death helped humanity fight back, yes?!” she screams scratching her throat up as she cries hysterically.

Silence. A blow of wind seems to rouse the brown-haired soldier.

“Of course...!” he shouts, trying to comfort the grieving mother

Silence again

“No... On this latest scouting mission, we...No...Just like all the other missions...we achieved nothing at all! My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths! We haven't found out anything about them!”

Well, shit

“let’s go” Manon whispers to me. I see tears forming in her big eyes. As I said she believes in the cause, but she’s just an empathetic kid. Still, I silently nod a take her hand in mine, walking away.

“the show is in a few hours, maybe it will cheer up the village” And you, Moira. You always loved to fly

“Don't try to cheer me up, I’m not sad,” said the tearful girl

“I just stated a fact” I shrug and then kiss her cheek, like she always does me

“Thanks, Vi”

“Anytime”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------Heyy

this is my first fic ever and English isn't my first language so I apologize if I get something wrong. I do accept criticism so please help me improve my writing skills. As for "Active Soaring", I want it to be almost like a side story where the OC (who will be in close contact with the other major characters, of course) has her own character development and dream to achieve. The story still is a Reiner x reader, but it will be a slow burn (not too slow, but a little angst considering Reiner's development in the manga).

thank you if you've come this far reading!

[silvantransthranduiltrash]

Miriel’s Depression

This is pure speculation.

But what if one of the reasons Miriel was depressed was bc she knew her husband didn’t love her anymore. I mean, with him moving on in 1 valinor year (and even for humans moving on from a dead spouse, one that left an infant behind, within a year is not a sign of things being ok) it really wouldn’t be that surprising if Finwe stopped loving Miriel long before her death.

Furthermore, what if the only reason Miriel even went to Valinor in the first place was because she loved Finwe, and she left the rest of her family (who didn’t want to go) behind?

Heck, what if she did not want to be the queen, but because she loved Finwe she went with it anyways? What if she was a hunter, like celegorm, who prefered to live away from council meetings and society balls? And the reason she started to weave was to escape the golden cage she became trapped in?

What if, all of this misery she persevered through because she loved her husband, because she loved her to-be-born son...

Only for Her to be slapped in the face with the realization that Finwe no longer loved her?

Look, we know nothing about Miriel, other than she was Finwe’s first wife and Feanor’s mother, but, seeing as some traits that the feanorians showcase are clearely not from Finwe (and as far as i know Nerdanel’s side of the family) i’m willing to bet that things like Feanor’s drive , passion and fire, and celegorm’s love of the outdoors and hunting (which ambarussa also share i think?) are all parts of Miriel that are shinning through.

So, if that’s the case, what exactly would cause such a soul to choose to lay down and die?

I will bet you that not everything is what it seems in her and Finwe’s marriage, or her life in aman.

(And, this is even more speculation that’s probably not cannon but food for thought, but what if Finwe and Indis had an affair behind her back? Albeit an emotional one, but one none the less? I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, but Finwe and Indis’s sudden and quick relationship is really sus)

Anyway, these are just some thoughts i had, considering we don’t really know what transpired between Miriel, Finwe, and Indis other than the basics and the end result. But it’s at complete odds with everything we know about elvish behavior, and i am not going to brush Feanor’s reaction to his new step-mother aside because it’s WAY to strong in my opinion, especially since there are cases like Elrond and Elros, where Maedhros and Maglor literally slaughtered Sirion and kidnapped them for a jewel, and yet the two boys still have a positive relationship with M&M. Clearly, there probably is additional things that caused Feanor to be so hostile to Indis and be at odds with his father, despite Finwe apparently favoring Feanor or smth.

It just does not add up.

And, considering that the silmarillion is written from the point of view of an in-verse historian who is biased against the feanorians, it also really would not surprise me if information that would paint Feanor in a more understanding light would be left out, either accidentally or on purpose.

Am i focusing way to much on the Weird af relationship between Miriel, Finwe and Indis and how it affected Feanor, especially considering the little information we are given on it? Some would say yes.

However, i maintain the fact that this weird relationship and the resulting family dynamic between the Finweons is the crucial starting point for everything that happened in the silmarillion, and even stretched all the way through the 3rd age with the One Ring. Therefor, i believe that trying to understand exactly what went wrong, and what we were not told, is worth focusing on as, without this one fucked up relationship drama, the history of the elves would likely have been very different.

[quietwingsinthesky]

i hope this is ok to send because we don't interact, but i have a prompt for you: instead of sam trapping himself and lucifer in the cage, it was dean who said yes to michael and jumped

It’s always okay. Always got to start interacting somewhere, right?

Also, I really hope this doesn’t give a bad impression of my writing lol. For some reason, it demanded to come out in first person Dean Winchester monologue form and in no other, which is. Not at all the way I usually write. But here we are. Real sorry if that’s not at all what you were hoping for, but there it is.

You know what the worst part of it was? Looking Sam in the face and telling him I trusted him to see it through. No, that doesn’t really cover it. He’s my brother, I know him, every face he’s ever made. It’s all stored away, just in case I need it, if he’s mad enough for the silent treatment or worse, keeping a secret that’ll get him hurt. He was always stubborn. You could see when you’d lose an argument or… or a fight. You could read the outcome by the set of his jaw, the sharp slant of his mouth, before the first punch was thrown. There was never any other way it was going to go. He knew he was right, and he knew I saw it, too. He wanted me to put the world on his shoulders and let it crush him, so the rest of us could live on doing…

You don’t give a shit what humans do when they’re alive. They all burn the same, don’t they?

We. We all-

We all float down here. Ha. See, that’s why I couldn’t let Sam throw himself into the pit. Did you know there’s clowns down here? Demon clowns. Nasty sons of bitches. I couldn’t let Sam ride out eternity locked up somewhere he’d be terrified. Though he probably wouldn’t be that scared by the end. You adapt. However you can. It’s about survival.

There’s an end, right? There’s got to be. The sun goes kaboom in a few hundred thousand years, and that’s got to wipe everyone’s slates clean. You, me… Maybe even that sulking douchebag in the corner over there.

Don’t tell me if that was the really how it was supposed to end, if you know. I don’t want to.

He looks like shit from here. Probably worse up close. At least he’s used to it. You’re not. I can tell. It’s wearing on you.

You could talk back. It won’t kill you.

God, I’m off-

Huh.

Don’t want me invoking your Dad’s name?

Buddy, I think we’re damned for a lot worse than a little blasphemy. Attempted fratricide’s higher on the list, no matter how pre-ordained you call it.

Insult me to my face. And get more creative with it. I already know I disappointed my Dad. I’ve got a lot of experience. New to the club?

You aren’t, are you? No, because I know what someone sounds like when they’ve been calling for days and Dad’s not picking up. I know what it feels like when you might die because he won’t come to the phone. This is a two-way street. Can’t lie to the guy whose head you’re inside any more than I can to you.

If your Dad was anything like mine, he probably listened to you begging for help and still thought you’d be better off on your own.

Good job with that. Who’s worse, the guy who lied to his dad about even finishing high school or the archangel who got his ass whooped by the drop-out?

Yeah, fuck you. I’d keep talking even if you weren’t forced to listen.

But you are. And we don’t have shit else to do.

I told Sam I’d trust him with this. I think I just didn’t want to spend my last days alive-

Hold on, am I still alive? What’s the call on that? Heart’s still pumping, nerves still scream at me, so what gives? Can you die in Hell?

I don’t know why I ask you anything.

I didn’t want his last memories of me to be a fight. I think I was even ready to go through with it until I was looking at those empty jugs. There were people in those demons- Fucking- Demons. In those people. Good people. We’d already killed enough of those, and sure as hell never added any more to the world.

Maybe Sam will now. Who knows.

He better not name that kid after me. Can you imagine? The world’s had enough of Dean Winchester. So much it spat me into the devil’s asshole.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, if you’ve got any power in you at all, you make sure he never laughs again. I think my soul just got sliced open by that sound.

So, I’m standing there, staring at the trunk, all those empty jugs and bad blood dragging Sam down and I couldn’t take it. Not one more. I wasn’t killing them, and I wasn’t going to let Sam take that blood on his hands either. So, I packed up. I left.

Cas was… probably still is out of juice, so I wasn’t scared of being caught this time.

I hope he’s doing okay. Glad he didn’t see me like this. Glad none of them did.

I couldn’t look Sam in the face like this. He’d think I didn’t believe in him.

Maybe I don’t. That’s not on him, damnit. That’s on your brother- Yeah, you! Stop eavesdropping! No, I didn’t think Sam could wrestle with you and win! I shot you in the head, and you didn’t go down. I wasn’t going to let my brother be the next wasted bullet.

Talk to me like you know Sam better. Screw you, douchebag. You didn’t know anything about him.

Now, you, on the other hand… I had no chance, no plan, nothing except the fact that you already thought I was ready to roll over. Your big mistake? You underestimated me. If you want to talk about pride, you’ve got your brother beat. One yes, and you came charging in. Felt like swallowing the sun. While it’s exploding. You got in my head and I got in yours. That’s the deal.

Second mistake was pissing me off.

Look at him. Goddamnit, look at him, Michael!

Shut up!

He’s your little brother! I don’t care how far off the beaten path he goes, you don’t ever hurt him! Maybe the rest of the world has got a devil to deal with, but you only ever have a brother! That’s what’s supposed to matter to you!

You held him when he was a baby, and you took care of him, and you were his first word and the first thing he walked towards and the first one he trusted when he started thinking this life didn’t fit right. And you fucked up! Do you hear me? You fucked up, and the last thing you ever did was cut him down when he tried to end this fight!

Because- because you could have walked away. I wouldn’t have done this if you’d walked away.

I wanted you to. I hate him more than any evil son of a bitch I’ve ever hunted, and I still wanted you to walk across that cemetery and-

Never trusted our little brothers when we should have. Maybe there was a way out of this mess a long time ago, too, but we weren’t any smarter back then. Just had more people around us to lose.

He’s gonna be okay. Sam, I mean.

He has to be.

I don’t think I could live with myself if he’s not. Not that I get the choice anymore.

Your brother’s right there. He might look bad, but you’re doing worse. Ask him how he stands it.

It won’t kill you to say something.

[cryptidshadows]

To the Weird Dysphoria Anon!

I got your message, and I understand your experience is kinda graphic, so I put my thoughts and your Q under the cut! (Body horror/dysphoria/uncomfortable experiences)

Anon's message was:

"Trans man with the weird experience of dysphoria again! I don’t mind if it gets published, I just don’t want to trigger anybody because the way I describe shit is kinda…idk, graphic? My experience is strange because I almost never feel that my body itself is wrong. I just don’t -fit- in it. It hit with puberty and believing that whatever used to live in this body had given it up and I’d taken over for them. It was always knowing that it didn’t move quite right, having to pay extra attention because my fingers and feet weren’t where they were supposed to be. It was wanting to be the Beast saving and saved by Belle, but also identifying with Ariel from The Little Mermaid. It was pretending to be an animal because it felt closer to the truth. As I got into high school, though, it got scarier for me. It was feeling too small, too tight, too soft, feeling the need to dig my claws into my flesh and tear off my skin like a monster in horror movies and go screaming into the woods. It was feeling my bones itch and my teeth aching, feeling static under my skin all the time. On the worst days, it was waking up not knowing who or what or where I was and just going into auto pilot, fighting wave after wave of anxiety as ‘They’ fed me bits and pieces of who this body really belonged to. It was nightmares of being trapped, of having to navigate an ever-changing maze and knowing I would die if I couldn’t. It was feeling that the world was wrong, that I was in the wrong place, that the people around me were talking to a person that I was just pretending to be. It was derealization and dissociation and being angry when a character I identified with was referred to as a girl. (As I said, I am not a smart man.) But I never felt like I was a man. I just knew I wasn’t this. I thought I was a monster in human skin. It’s only now that I’m really paying attention that the monster isn’t trying to eat me from the inside out."

Yeah, I did also very much get the deep need to tear off my skin and let my real self out of me, like it was a caged beast. And I still want to run into the woods and never look back lol. There was definitely a strong connection to monsters, dinosaurs, aliens, robots, anything inhuman throughout my life.

I know we're far from the only kids who pretended to be animals, but it was very real to me in a way that I think was distinct. The way I walked and moved and lived it was different, like most kids tucked it away once it was time to come back to class. I was constantly lost in that other world, the other me. It could be connected to neurodivergence too, and as you stated, some of the things you experience sound like they're tied to derealization and dissociation, common things to go through as a trans person and also common for people with trauma. I never experienced anything as severe as the dissociation you're describing but I definitely understand it. And the sense of everyone around me talking to a person I was pretending to be made me feel like I lacked real depth and connections with people.

I lived in a fictional world in my head 90% of the time, and in that fictional world, I was anything but human the majority of the time. And that kinship with monsters while being trans is what drew me to create my comic Wanderlust. The monsterlover/terato community is full of trans people, and it's much more than just a kink to most of us. You're definitely not alone.

[froggbones]

Bird in a Cage

A story I wrote about an old abusive relationship.

I’m not a professional. I just have a lot of feelings.

You told me to clip my wings, so I did.

I did everything you said.

You told me how wrong I was all the time,

And how right you were instead.

I saw that you were different.

If only that I knew,

That “different” was a raging tiger,

Set loose in the zoo.

I thought your claws were out with love,

Reaching for my heart.

I wish I’d known the truth before,

You tore my life apart.

For so long I did only,

What you wanted me to do,

I lost myself and understood,

All your lies to be true.

When you were gone I found myself needing your two cents,

I wish I’d realized sooner you were putting up a fence.

That fence was meant to keep me on the outside looking in,

I didn’t know that was when the real pain would begin.

When I stepped back and realized the walls that you had made,

I understood that you had made me a bird stuck in a cage.

Trapped with wings that would not work and nothing I could do,

I found myself alone and sad, submitting just to you.

So when you plucked and pulled my feathers, asking to do more,

I let you have your way with me, just like you did before.

I hid your marks when morning came, put on a little show.

I trusted that you loved me, so no one else would know.

As weeks went by I started to feel crazy in my cage.

The time you spent with other birds filled my heart with rage.

My anger boiled beyond what you felt was cool,

So you moved on to a new bird and left me like a fool.

For nights on end I weeped and felt as jealous as can be,

Until I came to realize you never deserved me!

Now what am I to do, with my clipped wings and broken heart?

I guess I can learn to love again.

I guess that that’s a start.

But who will love a bird without the means to fly?

Who will love a bird that a tiger left to die?

Left for scraps with broken wings, I’m not sure what to do.

I wish I’d never let that tiger get loose in the zoo.

The other birds who know me say that I’m not to blame.

They say it was the tiger’s fault for playing his mean game.

So “What now?” I ask, while I hop out of the zoo.

Now without the tiger’s love, what is there to do?

I know! I think, while I exit through the gates.

I really would love to learn how to skate!

So that is what I did when I was finished with the tiger, you see.

I left the pain behind and began to focus on me.

“So what of the tiger?” you ask with confusion.

He’s off with other birds and living in delusion.

But I don’t care to know what he does.

I have moved on, and there’s a new bird I love.

I hope that my tale can inspire you too.

No one should ever get to hurt you.

And if you wonder what became of my wings,

I travel the world on my feet,

Excited to see what the universe brings.

D.B.

[thesunshineriptide]

Twisted Wonderland Whumptober

October 2nd - Caged - Grim

Characters: Grim, [redacted]

Cw// animal abuse (not graphic), blood, threats of e*thanasia, angst, whump, crying, Grim’s tragic backstory

Rating: R for upsetting content

The sound of yowling echoed down the alleyway near midnight, a rattling sad sound. It was dark, and cold, and a tiny blaze of blue illuminated the grimy brick nearby.

Hissing pops caused the howling to grow. A tiny monster sat, trapped inside of a cage. It was raining, causing the blue flames flicking away from the tips of his ears to sizzle against the moisture and slowly begin to die down. Grey fur was matted, both from grit and blood and from the rain weighing it down.

He ducked his head underneath his paws, hissing at the pain he felt in his shoulder blades. The scab as beginning to reopen, he could feel the warmth of his blood trickling down again, mixing with the rainwater. Mud was pooled at his feet.

The rain only began to pour more and more, and he had to put everything into his cries. He spoke no words - he was far too young for that, he wasn’t even sure where he was or what he was trapped in or why - but that didn’t stop the pleading tone from coming through.

He heard dogs begin to bark nearby. He stopped whining.

He shook, slinking back in his cage as clicking footsteps approached, adding to the sizzles and the beat of the rain against the cobblestone of the alley.

“Damned cat.” A gruff voice grumbled, kicking the little creature’s cage, “So you’re the one stealing from our garbage?”

It wasn’t much of a question, it was rather clear. Discarded salmon skin and tuna cans were near to the cage, and papers - pamphlets - adorned the inside, the ink mixing with the sludge sitting in the bottom of it.

The creature whimpered and shrunk even further away.

The man clicked his tongue and bent down, lifting it up and shaking it roughly. Mud flung out of the sides, landing with a splat on the ground, “You’re lucky I don’t just take you to get put down.” He said, glaring at the monster, “But it’s my son’s birthday, and I’m feeling benevolent.”

He dropped the cage to the ground with a thump, then leaned over and unlocked the door, “You’d best stay far from here, do you understand? If I catch you digging through the bin again, you’ll meet a grim fate.”

The creature looked up and whimpered, grabbing the pamphlet from beneath him between his teeth before scampering off.

The man watched as the drenched cat-like creature ran off. He sighed and kicked the cage again before returning inside.

The monster found himself somewhere warm for the night, beside an Italian restaurant’s exhaust vent. The overhanging helped keep him dry, and his fiery ears crackled as the water evaporated.

He laid down, curled in a tight ball around his treasure. He contemplated the words of the man - the grim fate he would meet if he returned. He’d show him, he would never live in fear again. Never have to eat another’s table scraps or get kicked around or trapped.

He settled down on the brochure for Night Raven College, head resting on his sore paws. Yes, a Grim fate indeed.

For I am the great Grim, and I will surpass them all.

[olivyh]

TWST True Villains: Trapped (Ending 2)

I’m not going to be able to finish the story tonight :( but the next chapter is a little lighter so it would be a good way to close the spooky season!

TW: Suicide, violence, death, imprisonment, drugging, poisoning, torture, psychological torture

"Run!" They hear through their tired haze. They slowly blink up and see Silver, eyes brimming with tears as he grabs them. They feel a spark of hope in their chest, reigniting the shadow of the person they once were. Hopeful, innocent, lively and determined to get out of this hellhole alive.

That singular spark is strong enough to get their feet pushing beneath them as they look back to see the horned man stand, grinning maliciously.  They trip over their own feet as the wooden doors at the entrance slam shut, the heavy bang rattling throughout their entire body. They wail and slam their fists on the doors, slamming their body against it with every ounce of energy they have remaining.

"Get behind m-" They hear Silver start, cut off by a sharp gasp.

Silver chokes behind them, coughing and sending blood spraying to the ground as Yuu looks behind them in terror, watching how the horned man's lime green eyes glow in the low light, hand raised lazily as he snaps once more, another spear shaking free of it's suit of armor and soaring through the air; impaling Silver's back with a wet squelch, blood dripping to the ground as he collapses, aurora eyes wide as he grabs at his chest. The spears lodged in his chest shift with each twitch the boy made, making him let out another weak, pained groan.

They collapse next to him, feeling, for once, cold at the sight of the loss of their friends. Yuu holds out their arm, gripping onto the cotton of his dorm uniform, the fabric not registering to their cold hands. They cannot bring themselves to grieve the boy, do not feel that familiar tug of anger, or of terror that would normally grip them and push them to action. As they rest their hand on his forehead, watching the light leave Silver's teary eyes as he gasps once last time and lies limp on the common room's carpet.

Yuu finds that they are tired.

So, so tired of watching their friends die.

And so incredibly tired of being protected by the damned.

Yuu sits on their knees on the ground, hand still resting on Silver's face, the warmth fading and getting increasingly more and more cold. They stare up at the horned Prince, a single tear sliding down their cheek aside from their forlorn expression, eyes half lidded with exhaustion.

The man crouches and lifts their limp body into his arms. Their head lolls back and they cast one final look at the bodies of the Diasomnia students before exhaustion grips their mind and their consciousness leaves them.

Yuu blinks and winces against the dim light that meets their weary, bloodshot eyes. The surface they lay on is cold and hard, aside from the spot they were laying on. Yuu groans, entire body screaming in agony as their sore limbs struggle to function. They're back in the mirror chamber, placed in what appears to be a large golden bird cage in the center of the room.

They turn their head to what should be the exit, and let out a shrill scream when they notice the monster's head mounted on the wall above the door, as though it was some trophy to be won. It's ears no longer give off the fire, it's electric blue eyes dull even in the light of the mirror chamber.

Staring at them when they had nowhere to run. They were forced to stay under it's harsh gaze, forced within this cage to stare at it until they can somehow escape.

Yuu chokes back a sob, whipping around noticing how each mirror wavered threateningly, as though one of the dorm leaders were to step through at any given moment and end their life right then and there. They calm their shaking body to the best of their ability when they notice that the metal bars are too close together for them to slip through, and they were not even given a blanket or a pillow to rest upon.

There were no exits.

They did not even have the materials to end their own suffering.

They were trapped, and they were utterly alone, and they would be used as a toy for the residents of Night Raven College.

They grip the sides of their head, lip quivering as they let out a tormented scream, pulling at their hair as they wail, their cries bouncing off the walls and echoing back at them. They tug and tug and wail until their throat is raw and they choke up their own blood onto the metal below them. They fight and thrash against the bars until their limbs scream in agony and their old wounds are reopened, dripping crimson down the bars.

The rest of their days in NRC is a blur.

Yuu would sometimes watch the students enter and exit the mirrors, barely giving the magicless a passing glance as they continued on their way to classes. They were not given proper meals or water, only scraps of what students would sometimes throw at them or leave

Oftentimes they notice the surviving students stopping by their cage. More often than not, Riddle would chat with them over cold tea, pouring the boiling liquid into Yuu's open hands and sharply correcting them on their posture while they chatted. He would watch them desperately gulp whatever tea they managed to catch, licking it off their hands and sucking it out of their damp sleeves like a wild animal. He would also leave them some of the baker's treats, which Yuu had no other choice but to gulp down in fear of starvation, trying to ignore the stab in their stomach and the metallic aftertaste that rested on their tongue.

Leona would stop by much less, if only to torment them. He too would talk, and offer some bones from the dormitory . He would toss them in the cage, laughing at the way Yuu scrambled to get away from them, choking back tears silently. He would often kick the cage too, talking down on the human and clawing at whatever exposed skin he could see. Other days, he would sleep just outside of the cage, tail swinging lazily as Yuu waited with bated breath for him to snap again. Other times he gives them skulls- "friend's" he calls them- and watches as they try to avoid each and every one that has started piling up in the cage.

Azul would stand outside of the cage, giving them a plentiful amount of food in exchange for what little they had taken with them. Sometimes it was information on the students going through the mirrors, other times it was things they physically had on them. They would be forced to eat what he offered, despite the obviousness of their meal getting worse and worse. The first day it was sushi- the most recent day was someone's finned arm served atop an arrangement of leaves. The twins would hover, waiting for Yuu to make a mistake so they could torment the human through the bars.

Kalim is the most pleasant of the dorm leaders to stop by, chatting with them happily and bringing them as much food as he can. Sometimes they take a bite and find that their tongue will swell, or that they would cough up blood as they stare up at the smiling boy in terror. The poison is never enough to kill them, but just enough to keep them on their feet. Most often he will place his phone on the ground, speaker blasting music that bounces off the walls of the chamber and he will dance with the cage, spinning it and making Yuu fly around inside and slam against the bars, often getting so dizzy and so sick that their body ejected what they had eaten onto the floor just outside the cage.

Vil would often stop by with a makeup kit, pulling at their hair and their face as he forcefully applies countless products to their skin. Sometimes it burns- forcing the human to writhe in agony as they try to wipe the substance from their face- and other times it toys with their mind; Yuu screaming, sobbing and desperately clinging to the bars of the cage after one product gave them such strong hallucinations that they believed they were trapped inside the cage with countless monsters, clawing at their skin and ripping away their flesh. He comments on how nice they would be in Pomefiore's garden one day, that he must prepare them for such a thing.

Yuu rarely sees Idia, only catching glimpses of his firey hair through the night as he makes trips to the vending machine and back. On one such night, he screamed at them until they were bawling in a corner, trembling as he clawed at them through the cage, sharp nails dragging through their skin as he screams and wails about how he couldn't fix Ortho, about how it was their fault he was gone. And then, as though nothing happened, he would go limp, staring at them with dark amber eyes as he trudged back through the Ignihyde mirror.

And then Malleus, the only one who could get into their cage. He would often pull them into his lap, singing to them sweetly as he bit into their flesh and drank what little life force they had left. He would rock them, and tell them fairytales about dragons and princesses locked in towers in lands far, far away. He, like Leona, also gave them a "friend"- dead but body to remain unrotted forever, they sat in the cage alone with Silver, gaping wounds in his chest still opened but frozen in time. Yuu talks to him sometimes, when the nights drag on for far too long and the shadows seem to stretch into the deepest corners of their mind.

Yuu had long lost the strength to fight back, often laying limp on the ground, hazy eyes unfocused on the world around them for weeks on end. They'd long lost count of how long they'd been in Wonderland, only registering the blissful weeks in which most students would be gone for Winter or Spring break- blissful despite not being given any food or water during these weeks.  

Yuu's skin was pulled taut over their bones, clinging to their clothes as they shook uncontrollably at every given second, entire body practically freezing. Their skin had lost all life, their eyes sinking into the deep sockets and casting an eerie shadow over their weary features.

They face the mirror that had first brought them here, emaciated arms reaching out as tears escape their eyes as the surface ripples gently. The voices of home- of their friends and family, teachers and peers, their favorite songs often drift through the air like a whisper.

"Please..." They plead, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.

Malleus, standing to the side of them, frowns at being interrupted halfway through his story. He turns and fades away, appearing on the other side of the cage in a swarm of fireflies.

"No..." Yuu whispers, heart constricting in agony. "No-" They choke back tearless sobs as they weakly try to crawl over to the bars, pulling themselves up with every fiber they had remaining. "Stop..." They can barely speak anymore, vocal cords straining with each breath against the muscles.

Yuu can only watch helplessly, hands gripping the cold bars until their knuckles turn white and their hands cramp, tears dripping onto the floor below them. They slam their eyes shut as his staff makes contact with the mirror, the shards falling to the floor with crystalline clinks that echo throughout the chamber. The sound is almost musical, taunting the human as they fall limp against the side of the cage.

Malleus turns and smiles softly at them, placing a hand under their chin and raising their face enough to press a soft kiss to their forehead. Their heart feels as though a void had opened as they watch him leave, left alone in the dark chamber.

Yuu sighs and collapses, reaching through the cage and gripping one of the shards as it slices into their numb hand. The blood flows freely through their palm as they raise the glass, turning it over.

They had thought that their eventual death would be painful, that they would feel some semblance of regret or fear as they felt their soul leave their body behind. They had hoped they would be surrounded by those they loved as they smiled up at them and promised them that they would be safe, that they would be okay no matter where they went.

A contrast to the cold, dark cage they were trapped in. Their only companion being the body of Silver sitting silently off to the side of the cage.

Yuu looks to the sky, fatigued and famished mind causing their eyes to see what wasn't really there. Looking up, they saw millions of stars dancing on the roof of the cage, blinking and twinkling, reaching out to the human with open arms. They call to the teen, giggling and playing amongst the inky blackness of the universe. Yuu watches them play, envious of their joy as the lights beckon them closer.

They raise the shard to their throat and, in one quick and harsh action, drag it across their jugular, blood pouring from the wound and soaking their clothes.

Yuu doesn't feel pain, nor the crippling agony as their life was torn away with each ounce of blood that spurted out of their throat. They only feel warmth and peace, peace akin to floating on a warm bath or hovering in space. They collapse to the ground silently, laying on their back and looking to the roof of the cage, back at the grinning stars. They cough weakly, blood dripping down their face as their head spins and their breathing slows, limbs twitching weakly.

Yuu reaches a thin arm out towards the lights, smiling as their hand trembles and falls to their side.

They let out a weak giggle and allow their eyes to drift closed, head lolling to the side as they join the stars.