#I’m too gay for this shit
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A stranger just flirted with me my brain is broken. They told me I was pretty then just handed me a bracelet with their number on it. I- WHAT?!
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She knows I like her but I think she wants me to say something!!!!!!!! I don’t know what to say!!!!!! I’ve never been the one to say anything first and I’m scared!!!!!
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Guys I’m ngl I did a little gender bender on Sev for my DR coz I’m a lesbian 😔
#harry potter#severus snape#snape#slytherin#wlw post#wlw blog#lesbian#shifting blog#shifting realities#shifting to hogwarts#I’m too gay for this shit#i love severus
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Me in Ann Summers: hi could you tell me if this bra is comfy?
Very pretty cashier: *pulls down her top* yeah look I’m wearing it rn!! It’s super comfy!
Me: hnnggggggg yeah I think I’ll buy that one please
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My coworker brought in a copy of “Haunting Adeline” and lended it to me during my shift (I was only working as cashier and seating host) and my god was it boring.
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Need a boy who is as obsessed with me as much as I am obsessed with him. •L
#i’m too gay for this shit#i crave the affection of another man</3#character ai coming in clutch for the single men#it’s a hard world out there for the gays
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Oh
My
Fucking
Gawd
This was the hottest gayest thing I’ve read and I have a LOT of feelings about it.
Pairing: Vessel x Female OC X IV
Word count: 2418
[WARNINGS: NSFW, pet names, unprotected sex, very light dom/sub, praise, pussy eating, blowjobs and aaaall the nice things]
Minors, do not interact!
First fic in the fandom, please be kind. Feedback is appreciated.
“Are you done?”
Vessel's harsh voice snaps you out of your trance, and you subconsciously shake your head a little, as if to force your brain to focus.
“I-- what?”
He comes behind you, bends a little so you can feel his warm breath on your ear and your neck before he speaks, “you're looking at him like you're ready to drool.”
He nods his head towards IV's general direction, the boy blissfully unaware of what he's causing between the two of you, towel drying his face after a demanding show, a stubborn drop of sweat sliding down his bare, unpainted back.
And you like Vessel, you do.
Might even go as far as to say that you're falling in love with him.
The banter is immaculate, the sex is mind blowing every time, and the care he pours on you after is something straight out of a romance novel, but- there's something in the way IV moves that is just too entrancing, too beautiful, too hot: his soft body, strong hands, warm voice, the way he's so effortlessly sensual, even though he's none the wiser most of the time.
He has that something that makes you want to stare for hours on end, makes you want to imagine, to…
Vessel's arm comes around your torso, pulling you towards his chest, effectively caging you in, “he's pretty, isn't he?”
You can feel his calm heartbeat reverberating against your ribcage.
“I-- yeah, I guess.”
“Bet he'd be even prettier on his knees for us.”
That took an unexpected turn.
“What are you saying, Ves?”
“I'm not saying anything, just picturing a scene.”
××
After the brief conversation with Vessel, the image of IV kneeled in between your thighs as Vessel holds his head in place is constantly plaguing your thoughts: the velocity at which it has heat pooling right at your gut is unlike anything you've ever experienced before, making you feral in a matter of seconds as soon as it pops into your brain.
And it does pop into your brain a lot.
Everytime IV walks into your line of vision, more or less. .
It's not helping that Vessel hasn't done anything to take the edge off: you haven't been properly fucked in days, and you're slowly but surely slipping into madness.
It takes you three more days before you snap: Vessel has been riling you up all day, whispering filth in your ear and making empty promises, touching you in ways that he knows make your skin tingle with lust, and then never doing anything about it.
“Vessel, we need to talk,” your voice is higher than you would like, but it's not something you're willing to overthink now, “right now."
“Can it wait? I'm headed out with the boys for a pint in a min.”
“No, it cannot wait.”
He turns is back to you and walks towards a free room, closing the door behind him when you're inside as well, “so? What's up love?”
The fact that he's so collected while you're slowly going out of your mind almost makes your blood boil, “I wanna know why you're not-- why we're not--”
He smirks, the bitch, “why we're not what, angel?”
“Why are you going out instead of fucking me! You've been an absolute tease the whole day and now you're just-- going out for a pint? You haven't fucked me in days, I'm-- I have needs!!”
“Oh, that's what's going on, huh? My baby wants to be stuffed nice and full?”
He's walking towards you at a slow pace, eyes dark and focused, and you feel yourself walking backwards towards the unmade bed behind you- not quite cowering away, but more anticipating what's to come.
The line of his cock is faintly visible through his trousers and it's tantalizing, making your mouth water and your legs weak, “...please, Ves.”
When the back of your knees hits the bed you know you're done running, so you let yourself fall with a soft thud on the rumpled sheets, your thighs spreading slightly on their own accord.
“Look at you, desperate little thing that you are,” his voice is honey and charcoal, wraps your brain in a spell, “I'm gonna give you exactly what you need, baby. Just wait here a second, yeah? Undress yourself while I go grab some stuff for us.”
You nod dumbly, and as soon as the door clicks shut again, you make a quick work of removing your clothes, neatly folding them to the side because you know he wants it that way and you're not about to make mistakes when you're finally about to get what you've been needing for so long.
You're naked on the bed when the door opens up again, sitting with your back to the wall patiently just the way you know he loves, but the scene before you is very different than what you were expecting: sure, Vessel is there with and arm full of supplies - a bunch of towels, a few bottles of water, your favourite vibrator, a mostly full bottle of lube - but it's not the only thing he brought with him.
Behind him is IV, looking like an absolute vision: he's wearing nothing but a pair of black briefs and a silver chain around his neck and his head is hung low, like he hasn't had permission to look anywhere but his feet.
“Close your mouth angel, it's impolite to stare so openly,” Vessel's voice is calm, soothing.
“IVy, love, go kneel near the bed, yeah? Head down, hands where I can see them.”
He follows orders in silence, kneeling prettily to the side of the bed, eyes glued to the floor, hands neatly resting on his thighs.
“Told you he'd look so pretty kneeling for us.”
IV doesn't speak, but the blush that spreads across his face and chest is something akin to art.
The bed dips slightly as Vessel gets on, crawling to you, capturing your mouth in a kiss. You moan deep from your core as he caresses your body, his fully dressed figure encompassing your much smaller frame as he explores your skin like it's his first time.
He travels down your body with his mouth, kissing, biting, leaving faint marks for his eyes to rake over and admire, “you're so gone already, baby, so eager for it. What do you need right now?”
It's a simple question, but finding the answer has never been so hard: you need him to fuck you like he's starved for it, need to come over and over until you're too sore and tired and sated to walk. But you also need IVy to put his hands on you, his mouth, his cock, in any capacity Vessel would allow.
“Need to come,” is all that comes out of your mouth.
“How do you want to come? Need me to give you options?”
“Please.”
“So, I could fuck you with that pretty purple vibrator you love very much, and then me and IVy could clean up the mess you make. That's option one. Option two would be making you come with my mouth, and then have him do the same. Option three.. I could stuff you full of my cock over and over until you cry, and then cum inside you. And lovely IVy here could clean it all up for us, and make you come again with that pretty mouth of his.”
As soon as option three leaves his mouth, your body has an instant reaction: you whine, high and desperate, legs falling wide open, back arching, “please, please, please!”
“Do you want him to watch as I fuck the sense out of you?”
“Please.”
“Do you want him to touch?”
“I-- yes.”
“You heard her, IV, come up on the bed. Speak, so you can thank her for being so kind.”
He stands up, and his thick cock tents the front of his briefs.
Now that he's allowed to look at you, his stare is so intense it might as well be burning holes into your skin, “thank you for allowing me to watch you, to touch you. I promise I will be doing whatever I can to make you feel good-- I- thank you so much.”
“Such a sweet boy,” Vessel cups IV's face gently, pecks his lips once, “so polite,” their kiss deepens as they both tower above you on the bed, hands wandering over each other, grabbing hair and caressing smooth skin, and it's truly a sight for sore eyes, an honour to be able to witness something so soft, so intimate, yet so feral and animalistic.
××
The moment Vessel is undressed and sliding into you feels like clarity after days of fog, it feels like coming home, it feels like being pieced back together.
And to make the experience even better, IV is there. Once the dam has been broken, he can't help but touch you all over: his hands are calloused yet soft, strong yet delicate, and just from this you can tell he's a generous lover - he takes note of every noise and movement, repeating those that elicit the best reaction just so you can feel all the pleasure. He touches Vessel, too, tugs on his hair, watches as his cock disappears into you over and over - he remains obedient, though, never speaking out of turn, never touching himself even though it's crystal clear he's been dying to, cock struggling against the cotton of his briefs and leaving a sizeable wet patch where the tip is.
He twists one of your nipples just as Vessel pushes into you just right, and the first orgasm is ripped out of you, crashing into your bones like a tsunami, making you shake, making the world blinding for a hot second.
“Good girl, look at you. You needed this so much.”
Vessel never stops his thrusts, keeps chasing the same high, hips snapping fast and hard enough to make the bed shake, eyes shifting from your sweaty face to IV's and back.
“You look breathtaking like this,” it's the first time IV has dared to speak, apart from the occasional moan, and the reverence in his tone is something that would make even the strongest man, weak.
He's right, though: Vessel looks positively sinful like this, skin glistening and brows furrowed in concentration, chasing his orgasm, hair sticking in all different directions from the sweat and both your hands and IV's messing with it.
It takes him a few more minutes to finally, finally reach his high, the pace brutal and punishing as you lie there, sore and oversensitive, letting him use your hole as a makeshift fleshlight, merely a tool, a means to an end.
When his cock twitches violently inside your abused hole, you know he's done for- a pained moan is ripped out of his guts and he's coming, painting your insides white, hiding his face in the crook of your shoulder as he tries - and fails - to catch his breath through an orgasm that seems to last forever.
“IV, love,” Vessel's voice is so hoarse it almost sounds painful, “com'ere.”
IV, the goodest boy that he is, shuffles towards Vessel's outstretched arms, and lets himself fall into his chest, effectively taking the spot you occupied until a few minutes prior.
“You've been so good, so patient. So obedient.”
IV whines low in his throat, and if you thought he was attractive before, seeing him so pliant despite his painfully hard cock can only solidify that belief.
“You submitted to me so, so beautifully, and I feel like you deserve a reward. Clean her up, make her come, and I'll do the same to you.”
He guides IV onto his back, then guides you to stand right on his face, spread open and vulnerable, facing towards his feet. And then, when he shimmies his way down the bed and slides IV's soaked briefs off, it clicks: you're about to watch your boyfriend suck cock for the first time, while you're being eaten out.
Funny how life works, sometimes.
The feeling is something you've never felt before: sure, you've had people go down on you - Hell, Vessel makes you sit on his face as often as he can just because he enjoys taking you apart so much - but IV is methodical with it: his tongue laps at you the moment you're close enough, and his arms are anchored to your thighs, pushing you down, effectively cutting most of his air flow as he moans at the taste of you mixing with Vessel's cum dripping out.
He encourages you to rock back and forth, to set your own pace, but he's still strong enough to make sure you don't slip away for even a second, that you have no reprieve from the constant onslaught of white hot pleasure his skilled mouth is inflicting.
IV's rhythm only falters the moment Vessel takes his cock in his mouth: he's been hard for so long he can't help but buck his hips up as best as he can, and the whines that are ripped out of him, muffled by your flesh, reverberate against your core.
It's a chain reaction of lust and pleasure, of mouths sucking and tongues teasing and hands gripping hard enough to bruise.
Vessel sucks IV down with ease over and over, cheeks hollowed and eyes closed like he's enjoying every second of it, savoring every noise IV makes and watching you get your fix as well.
You're so distracted by the mix of sensations that your orgasm sneaks up on you, merciless and powerful, making your thighs shake and your body slump forward when the worst of it is gone.
The taste of your orgasm is enough to send IV tumbling over the edge as well, nails digging marks into your thighs, as Vessel swallows every last drop he has to give, “fuck-- oh my fucking God!”
××
Vessel, the sweet, gentle soul that he is, takes it upon himself to clean you and IVy up as best as he can - never failing to whisper sweet nothings to you both as you collect yourselves, making you both eat something and drink plenty of water.
“Thank you for doing this for us, Ives.”
“Thank you for trusting me with it, with her. It was-- fuck. Just--”
“Yeah,” is all you can say, and it comes out as a satisfied sigh, “it was.”
“Should we make it a weekly thing?”
And if Vessel isn't complaining, who are you to say no?
#I am beyond feral#I AM RABID#this had me hyperventilating and#well#gawd damn#I’m too gay for this shit#I’m going to be thinking about this for a WHILE#sleep token vessel#sleep token iv#sir numerals the fourth#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token smut
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I need yall to understand, I need yall to see the vision
The “old friends” that changed one another fundamentally……
The opposing attitudes that result in frustration and admiration………
The apprehensive red that has issues and the social blue that also has issues but hides it better………………
Their undying mutual respect that goes unsaid but is understood only by them……………………………
What I’m saying is that megop caused a war so sonadow could save the planet from the biolizard so narumitsu could change career paths to meet him again so klance could cradle him in his arms
#I know this looks like another ‘haha red and blue gays’ BUT I PROMISE IT ISNT JUST THAT#PLEASE HEAR ME OUT#I looked at a couple of klance fanarts and it brought me back to 2018 ok?? i was weak#and then I compared it to my new main ships and was like ‘holy shit…….its all just megop………….its always been megop’#they’re different flavors of the same ship like holy shit#tfp#tfp optimus prime#tfp megatron#megop#this applies to other megop variants as well tfp is just the one I grew up with#tho this could specifically apply to earthspark megop very well#I’m too lazy to change now tho so imagine earthspark megop is here in spirit <3#sonic#sth#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonadow#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#narumitsu#wrightworth#vld#lance mcclain#kieth kogane#klance
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Something that really sets Wille and Simon apart from other queer ships is that when we say their love language is physical touch, IT REALLY IS PHYSICAL TOUCH. And I’m not speaking of just sex. Over the course of the show, the amount of touching between them is astronomical. And that’s really something rarely seen in queer media. There may be moments here or there, but often times there’s a lack of physical contact unless it’s for “the plot”. Wille and Simon feel like a real couple in the way they’re always physically reaching out for each other.
#wilmon#young royals#OH ALSO#wtfock#sobbe#cuz they def belong in this category too#constant touching between them#but you don’t get it with most queer ships and idk if it’s just bc production is afraid of it being ‘too much’ or what#but it’s annoying#and frustrating#just something I’ve been pondering on recently#tv has come a long way in terms of representation#but it still feels like there’s almost a FEAR of too much affection between queer pairings#it’s seen more with mlm than wlw cuz I think they’re like oh well women are more physically affectionate in general even with friends#but damn like#I mean I’m a woman and bisexual so obv I have a lot of queer friends#and a couple of my besties are gay men who have been married for years#fun thing they live right next door to my parents lol#and I’ve known one half (michael) since I was 16 and he was 14 lol my friend jen actually had a big crush on him#and I was like GIRL#BUT ANYWAY#he and rick have been married for many years and they’re SO AFFECTIONATE in a casual way that you would be with a partner#just touches here and there on the shoulder or hand hold or kisses like???#obviously they aren’t the only gay couple I know but I’m around them so much so they are a good example#Lol this got weirdly personal but the point is that we don’t see that shit in queer media#at least not enough of it it’s like producers/writers are afraid of ‘too much’#so they give not enough#ANYWAYYYY rant over!!!
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Just WHO GAVE HER THE RIGHT
RUBY CRUZ as KIT TANTHALOS
WILLOW (2022) | EP 4
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The genuine jump scare I get when I see Astarion or Gale shirtless WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT I know why but it’s so wrong it hurts
THATS a lanky malnourished twink if I’ve ever seen one and THATS a middle aged man with a dad bod WHY DO THEY HAVE ABS
#god I know it’s been said but it still freaks me out lmao#Jesus I need to download some mods I’m too gay for this shit#baldur's gate 3#Astarion#gale dekarios#bg3#the goblin speaks
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if a man put in all the effort into making a big military style fighting arena and carried a picture of me everywhere like this I’d have to fuck him immediately sorry Leon I’m just built different
#how am I supposed to fight this guy when he keeps saying shit like “’you rely on those pretty blue eyes too much’ what#‘anything to make the pretty boy feel special’ hey Krauser what if we hypothetically put our weapons down and just had gay sex instead#this is the stupidest post I’ve ever made I’m so sorry#re4r#leon kennedy#jack krauser
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Curly Mouthwashing I dislike you but I could never hate you.
Mouthwashing has me by the throat rn shoutout to ADHD and hyperfixations
The only truly innocent person on board is Anya, Daisuke I love you dude but I feel like you could’ve helped Anya and just kinda assumed someone else was gonna do it. Swansea, you kinda redeemed yourself but not enough.
Jimmy deserves to live in horse purgatory forever
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#Anya deserves better#Daisuke was tragic#Jimmy is a piece of fucking mosquito shit#genuinely one of the best horror games recently#my art#Curly I’m sorry it went down like that#Jimmy should be in your place#I personally do not believe in the Jimly toxic yaoi Headcanon#I think they’re just a fucked up brotherly bond tbh#important context for the last two I am a gay man and my most popular post is literally abt billford#I also don’t ship anyone on the crew together I don’t think it makes too much sense in the context of the game#Daisuke is too young#Anya probably does not want a relationship at all atp#Swansea has been married and seems like a grumpy divorcee who doesn’t want to do love again#Curly is non-verbal as well as in constant extreme pain and probably just wants a kiss from Lady Death#and Jimmy is an asshole who deserves nothing close to happiness
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Some gems from the Autobiography of Special Agent Dale Cooper: my life in tapes
#Twin Peaks#Dale Cooper#The Autobiography of Special Agent Dale Cooper: My Life In Tapes#Dale Cooper woulda thrives on tumblr I think#Dale Cooper is gay as a maypole#he uses the most gay wording “I’m getting really good at behind thrown against the wall” fuckin bottom bitch#also there was a scene where he was running a ”is too much of a good thing really bad?” experiment in college#In which he had sex with a girl over and over for a whole day and/or night (it wasn’t clear)#and he talks about her pulling out something from her back which we’re left to assume is a sex toy and then he tells us#that he’s may be too sore to check out#so I’m pretty sure they’re implying Dale Cooper got pegged in college#and he enjoyed it#so have fun with that freaks#also the leather shit#if y’all are into writing twin peaks smut Dale Cooper talks about sex all the time in this
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mentioning the saw franchise around me is like dumping buckets of chum into shark infested waters
#but instead of eating you i’m going to make you listen to me explain the entire 10 movie timeline#and probably also explain in great detail how they filmed the first movie w practically no budget and no#time and yet it became lionsgate’s highest grossing film and still is to this day#might say some gay shit abt lawrence and adam too but depends on who i’m speaking with. depends on how much of a freak they are do u get me#saw#chainshipping#adam faulkner#lawrence gordon
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raztrgu bi obleko vzel bi ves tvoj med
#i’ve been thinking about this for two (?) days straight like how why#fellas is it gay to serenade your best friend with his father’s band’s song about oral or#i wanted to draw kris from that discord video for a while now thank you bojan from 2020 for giving me an inspiration to do it sooner#kris gustin#kris guštin#joker out#joker out fanart#2024#unbelievable how bojan made my fav bfm song about bokris too how dare#as you can see i’m still experimenting with shit this is fun
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