#I’m so tired of being this way
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i’m so tired of being me. i’m so tired of feeling depressed and like nothing is ever going to work out and it won’t work out because i can’t even push myself to try. i wish i could just try. i wish i had the motivation and drive and enough want to just. do anything
#b.txt#I get out of bed and eat and that’s all I can ever get myself to do#I don’t know how to do anything else anymore#I’m so tired of it#but I don’t know how to stop it#I’m so tired of being this way#why am I like this#I’m so tired of being like this#i dont even think I’m worthy of getting help#I’ve tried so many times to ask for help and I’ve never been given it#and I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even want to give it to myself#I’m tired#idk where this has come from I just suddenly feel very. helpless#like it can’t get better#I’ve been in this cycle for months#and I’m still here#what’s the point#I’ve never seemed to see the point in trying
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Friend: Why don’t you play Baldur’s Gate with us? I think you’d like it.
Me: You’re probably right, but I only have 70 GB free on my computer. Which I previously thought was a large number but it won’t even hold half of the game.
#I’m tired of this#it got way out of my usual circles#I’m sick of being misunderstood about this#so you don’t get to reblog it anymore
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired
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Valgrace? But like in the sense that Leo is cupioromanic and they kiss, cuddle and call each other things like ‘babe’ platonically
‘This is my best bro Jason!’ Jason is covered in cartoony kiss marks
Pride Month Day 05 - VALGRACE
did somebody say…queerplatonic valgrace….
Jason is drawn shirtless bc scars obviously… I have a whole Jason resurrection AU in my head i just need y’all to ask me about it. also def note the kiss on one of the scars!!! that was on purpose!!!
To anyone unaware (yes, here we go AGAIN), I take suggestions to draw a queer/trans/aro (lgbtq+) character or ship every day for pride month. Anyone can suggest any ship, character, etc. (headcanons or not.) No proshipping obviously. You can always request multiple times! Don’t hide your pride… (ALSO SEND MORE SOLANGELO REQUESTS…. I KEEP SAYING THIS BUT CMON GUYS… REMEMBER WHO WE ARE….)
#i’m so sorry for being late… the 5th I was just tired and the 6th i was gone till 1 am today…. so i’ll probably squeeze more drawings in#one day to catch up to the correct date#valgrace#leo valdez#jason grace#the trials of apollo#trials of apollo#toa#heroes of olympus#pjo#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#pjo fanart#valgrace fanart#leo valdez fanart#jason grace fanart#WillTheSpy Pride Art#my art#pjoverse#percy jackson#pjo fandom#rrverse#riordan verse#riordanverse#heroes of olympus fanart#trials of apollo fanart#the way i keep insisting he is cupioromantic… it’s canon guys i know him better than rick#happy pride 🌈#pride month
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Hello again, friend of a friend
matrix can have a little evil ex breakup song, as a treat
(OC from Infamous by @infamous-if)
#a solid half of the time the way I make ocs is just by creating the loveliest person ever then going#aren’t you tired of being nice don’t you just wanna go apeshit#at them on repeat#matrix rose is doing just fine (tm)#I mean everything here is directly stolen from that One Scene that I’m not normal about#from scott pilgrim#a film I’m very neutral about#so I don’t know how to tag that#infamous if#infamous oc#when I tell u the Patreon snippets destroyed me emotionally#🫁
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Does anyone else find it sort of upsetting how widely popular House M.D. has seemingly become in online queer spaces with how violently acephobic and intersexist it is? Like, I don’t want to pretend that it’s only queerphobic towards aces and intersex people, because the show definitely engages in its fair share of early-2000s-typical casual transphobic and homophobic language, and I do think it’s pretty biphobic that, from what I remember of the show, they made 13 (the one canonically bisexual character) a promiscuous party girl tm.
But the show is extremely vitriolic towards intersex and asexual people, and I wish that the people who treat it like a haha funny toxic yaoi show would at least fucking acknowledge that. The show actively reinforces the ideas about intersex bodies which are used to justify the nonconsensual mutilation of intersex children. And the way the show treats asexuality is abysmal. I saw someone on here once say that it’s “funny” that House is canonically aphobic, as if it’s just a joke that the House episode about asexuality actively supports the idea that asexuals are all either liars or medically unwell and in need of “fixing”. Why is pro-conversion therapy rhetoric suddenly funny when it’s directed towards us?
I’m not saying that no one is allowed to enjoy the show at all. Hell, I used to really enjoy it too, at least before I got to the asexuality episode (shortly after finding out I’m ace and before I had ever seen even a single other representation of asexuality in mainstream media). But like. Can people at least stop outright ignoring the absolutely detrimental effects this show had on the ace community and the intersex community?
#personal#ace#asexual#cw acephobia#it was a popular show! a lot of people who didn’t know asexuality even exists learned about it through this show that told them we need#to have our asexuality “cured” by a medical professional#I’m so so fucking sick of seeing others in the queer community treat acephobia as a lesser form of queerphobia#and we especially need to be doing better for the intersex community too because I am tired of#seeing other lgbtq folks throw intersex ppl under the bus whenever it’s convenient#(only to turn around and use intersex people as a gotcha against exorsexism)#not aroposting#I’m sure there’s also a lot more offensive shit in the show that I’ve forgotten because I haven’t watched it in a very long time#there’s definitely more that can be said about the intersexism in the show but I don’t know how to articulate that as well#someone who is actually a part of the intersex community could probably put it way better than I can#but hell. that incredibly intersexist episode was how I learned that being intersex is even a thing and I’m sure I am not the only one#I know more about the effects on the ace community (for obvious reasons) which is why I’m taking a bit more about that here but#I can’t even imagine how damaging House was (and still is!) to the intersex community
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A huge problem with antizionist activists at the moment is that so many of them are just absolutely itching to see more violence. They don’t want to stop the violence. They don’t call for a ceasefire and peace anymore. Instead they call for Israelis/Jewish people to be ethnically cleansed from the region instead of Palestinians. Like they literally just think the “wrong people” are being murdered right now. They’re a bunch of western spectators with nothing on the line agitating for more violence in a region thousands of miles away so they can root for their “team.” It’s a game to so many of these people, and a game they want to end in even more violence than has already been perpetrated by the Israeli government and Hamas.
#like call me crazy but i think ethnic cleansing/genocide is Bad no matter what group of ppl you’re doing it to#ultimately everyone needs to realize the only way forward is peaceful coexistence with equal rights and freedom of movement#because neither the israelis nor the palestinians are going anywhere nor should they have to#i/p#miri’s thoughts#i’m just. tired#antisemitism#i think the world could benefit from having LESS violence actually#anyways i left twitter so i wouldn’t have to keep being subjected to antisemitism/being expected to comment on this issue 24/7#so i’m not really going to talk about it here very much#but i wanted/needed to get this off my chest
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Had a thought yesterday
[Clean version + bonus below]
#my art stuff#digital art#gravity falls#stanford pines#w.d. gaster#undertale#glitch#static#secret code#transparent#gaster!ford#journal 3#bright glasses#beware the man who speaks in hands#me and a friend are half-baking concepts with this#Gerson I’m coming for you next >w>#been a WHITE since I sat through drawing a character that I’m not gay over and isn’t me#I needed that lil stanley to push me through - these are difficult times#I must admit it was really nice drawing something out of lore passion reasons again though#Staring at sixer that long was contorting my face out of uncomfortable awkwardness though#I don’t like staring at the brother in law (in TWO ways) - especially when he looks so similar to MY guy#brother in law specifically cus a friend of mine who I call MY twin has latched unto him#but also cus he’s Stanley’s brother - I suppose#but the other one much more.#I needed something to look at to get a break and just smile at instead of being awkward man#yes I know the text is lopsided and messed up - I work with CSP and I was TIRED
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I don’t really know how to say this in a better way so imma just say it
If you think John Dory is a bad character then respectfully, you have no idea what being an oldest sibling is like.
He didn’t abandon his brothers. He was pushed to a point of having to be responsible for four younger brothers, ranging from baby to teenager, trying to coordinate and pull off good if not perfect shows, trying to help Rosiepuff raise both them and himself while also dealing with trollstice and the troll tree while also struggling with an ever growing *need* to be perfect. It doesn’t matter how much you love your siblings- if you’re stressed enough, you’re going to snap and you’re going to snap at them. And you know what? He probably hated himself for that too. And for the fact that he couldn’t be perfect. Any oldest sibling knows the guilt of not being good enough and presumably tearing down their younger siblings in the process…it’s awful. No fuckin wonder he walked away, bro was what, 17?? 18??? He shouldn’t have had to do that. And he didn’t just abandon his brothers knowing what was gonna happen to Branch. From his perspective, he walked away knowing full well Spruce and Clay could step up, and that Rosiepuff would still be there. He had no way of knowing Branch would end up alone and gray, because if he did, he never would have left.
John Dory is not a bad character. He loves his brothers.
Edit: some people are saying he didn’t come back until he needed something. He came back to an empty troll tree- he thought his brothers were dead. He probably only left for a few months or so! He didn’t abandon them. He had every intention to come back and did. His family was just gone.
#idk if this is a vent or an analysis#I’m just so tired of people making him out to be an unloving brother#guys#he thought they were dead#he was *so* excited to see all of them and they wouldn’t even give him a hug#being an older/oldest sibling is fuckin hard#I’m the second oldest of a bunch of kids in similar age ranges to Brozone#when I tell you#I would snap way sooner than he did#it’s just not fair to him or his character to say he abandoned them on purpose#or that he brazenly made them be something they didn’t want to be for the band with no regrets#I guarantee you#it kept him up at night when he fought with his brothers#he probably hated himself for making his brothers unhappy#but what else could he do#he was stressed out and desperate#John Dory is not a bad character#he’s an oldest brother who didn’t get a chance to finish his own childhood.#trolls#trolls band together#dreamworks trolls#trolls John Dory#trolls jd#realizations#rambles#brozone
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Better Days ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
You don’t know if it’s the comedown from the meds, your period, or one of your disorders making you feel this extreme sadness but you need this feeling to go away. It’s more annoying than anything. You’re not one to compare anyone’s pain but Levi’s been through an entire war in which he lost his eye, a couple of fingers, and his ability to walk. The war in your head is nothing compared to that. So what you do is you grit your teeth and just try to ride this almost debilitating wave of misery until it’s over.
Of course you’re silly to think that Levi wouldn’t be able to tell something’s wrong. He’s lost some things but he definitely hasn’t lost his perceptiveness.
“Oi…” His tone is soft as he places a hand on your thigh, taking you out of your thoughts. You realize he’s right in front of you and he’s wearing a small frown. When did he get here?
You blink rapidly, your surroundings slowly coming into focus. “Hey.” You reply, your tone also soft but there’s an underlying tiredness in your voice and it doesn’t go unnoticed by Levi.
“You okay?” He asks you, giving you the chance to open up and be honest, his eyes looking at you with concern.
You blink a few more times, still in a bit of a daze. “Yeah, I’m just-“
“Don’t do that.” He cuts you off gently. You know what those words mean. You know better than to lie to me. And you do know better. But you also don’t want to burden him.
You give him a tired smile and continue. “Really, Levi-“
“C’mere.” He cuts you off again with a pat to his thigh, beckoning you to sit on him.
“Your legs, Levi.” You remind him, worried your weight on him will put too much pressure on the lower half of his body.
“I don’t care.” He sighs before he grabs you by the waist, surprising you with his upper body strength despite you knowing that he continues to keep himself in shape, especially when it comes to his arms and core. He places you onto his lap and positions you so that you’re sitting bridal style on him in his wheelchair.
“Levi…” You whine, although you let out a slight chuckle as your arms find their home around his neck.
“Mm?” He looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as his arms encircle you.
You roll your eyes playfully as he feigns stupidity.
He gives you a small smirk before his expression softens, concern still present in his eyes. “Seriously, what is it?” He asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he presses his forehead against yours.
You sigh yourself before your shoulders raise in a defeated shrug as you look back up at him. “I don’t know…I’m just sad.” You give him a glum smile.
And there’s the truth. It hurts him to know you’re feeling this way and there’s no way for him to realistically help. He wishes he can reach inside you and pull all of the negative feelings out. He would swallow them himself if he could. He can deal with sadness but it’s a struggle to watch you deal with it. So for now he tries to help as best as he can through his touch, holding you tight against his chest as he places kisses on your skin. He might not know what to say but he knows how to touch you to remind you of the promise he made to you before the war, of living through better days. You are his better days. They don’t exist without you. But more importantly, you deserve better days. You deserve the laughter, the hugs, and the happy tears. Better days are coming, but they’re also here. And Levi’s willing to go through hell and back to make sure you stay for them.
#oh no she’s sad again what a big surprise#the way I’m feeling is lethalll#literally fuck my brain#I hate it here I’m tired of being like this#but better days I guess#can’t have them if we’re not here#so please stay if you’re second guessing it#big hugs to you#still on my postwar!levi kick and probably will be for a while the man is all fluff which I desperately need right now#levi#levi ackerman#levi aot#levi x reader#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x y/n#levi drabble#aot levi#levi comfort#postwar!levi#manda writes
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Wrote this on Twitter but wanted to ramble it here too.
Personally? I hope that Emmrich is not a skeleton in a magic skinsuit or whatever the theories are coming up with. 🫢
It’s rare enough to even get distinctly older-looking characters as companions / romanceables, I’d rather not have it taken away to be a token unique character - as cool as the flaming skeleton character in the early concept was. On the off chance he does end up a skeleton for some reason, I only hope it makes sense. I’ll likely still enjoy him, but it’ll be a shame.
Let us have visually distinct older characters who are romanceable because love isn’t limited to the youths or young-looking ancient beings please and thank. Get past the odd stigma that older-looking characters are too weird to be proper romances. 🙏
#time to ramble#not tagging the main tags cos it’s unnecessary#but I just wanted to ramble in my own space#and maybe the few others who follow and feel the same#idk if my point got across?#I think ageism is such a sad and common thing#so I always support keeping obviously older characters looking the way they do#I’m tired of ancienct beings having romances with little to no scrutiny just cos they look young#let old people have love too#also a bit presumptious to think that fans will only make young Rooks to pair with him#consider that people can make older characters too#also Rook is an adult so folks need to reroute their brain that it’s weird to ship adults
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It’s really, really annoying how many women will wear bikinis and lowcut tank tops and see-through leggings and booty shorts with their buttcheeks hanging out, but then turn around and be all, “Men should be able to control themselves and stop lusting after me!” Like girl, we know why you’re dressed like that, you know why you’re dressed like that, everyone knows why you’re dressed like that. Stop pretending, lol.
#this used to be a libfem thing but now I’m seeing conservative Christian girls do it too#wearing provocative clothing and then throwing Bible verses at guys for looking at them twice#it’s so bizarre#girls don’t want to hear this but we share responsibility in helping our brothers in Christ avoid lust#do not go out of your way to be a near occasion of sin for your fellow Christians#like obviously this has its limits when it comes to dress#but there’s a difference between a guy not being able to control seeing an ankle or shoulder#and going out of your way to show off as much skin as possible#there IS a clear difference and I’m tired of people pretending there isn’t
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Demetri is definitely not a big fan of horror movies but Hawk 100% is, so they settle for binge watching the Alien franchise.
++ Dem obviously talks through movies, Eli probably wouldn’t unless he is really compelled to. Silly dynamic where they would typically hate being around that type of movie watcher but it’s different because they’re so close it becomes endearing.
(Hawk looks odd, my warmup sketch was much more Hawk-like. Maybe the hair being down trips me out idk)
#hawk and demetri#binary brothers#binary boyfriends#cobra kai#Eli and demetri#demetri alexopoulos#eli hawk moskowitz#tired posting#hawkmetri#hawkmeat#it’s not noticeable but the poster in the back is starwars:3#the blanket being so small is pissing me off#I drew this half asleep so I’m blaming that for the small ass blanket#n e ways#vveris art
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alright, friends, it's time for a lil heart-to-heart.
for quite a while now, i've struggled with feeling like the rpc is an actual community. there's a few things that contribute to this feeling, but it mostly comes down to a lack of interaction and visible interest. sometimes i feel very one-sided in my interest and attachment to my mutuals bc when i see their ooc posts or headcanons, i like them or comment, yet this isn't reciprocated by everyone. i can usually guess who i'm about to see in my notifications, and to be absolutely clear, i'm very grateful for those people!! it's a handful or two of you, but it could be just one and i'd be grateful. it's not about numbers whatsoever but rather growing uncomfortable that not all of my mutuals are all that interested in my character or me.
i write on here to share the excitement of creating with other people. i write on here to create together, too, but i'm also here to share characters and ideas and lore with people i know are happy to hear me ramble. i'm just getting to the point in which i'm questioning how many of you are actually happy to listen, and that's just not a good feeling at all. i'm not a mind reader, y'all. if you don't tell or show me that you care about the things i talk about or even about interacting, there's no way for me to know. eventually, i'm going to question why you're following me if i never see or hear from you, and eventually, i'm going to softblock and move on. that's the only way forward i see right now because i just do not feel comfortable on my own blog. i feel like i'm retreating into this quiet bubble to avoid discomfort, and it really sucks. it's killing my muse.
i'm not perfect. none of us are, and we can't be online at all times to catch every little post. but if we're a community, then we should be supporting each other when we can and liking headcanons, liking/commenting on those lil ooc posts that remind us our writing partners are humans with lives outside this site, reblogging their promo posts, sending in that meme they've reblogged even if we're nervous to reach out first -- if we're a roleplaying community, then we need to act like it. " community " implies connection, and a connection doesn't really begin when you follow each other. it begins when you reach out, even if it's in some small way.
tldr: i think we can all do better to support our mutuals and to connect, and i'm going to softblock people rather than continue to feel unsure where i stand with my mutuals. i won't start until sometime next week, and i won't make one of those " like this to remain mutuals " posts. they're not helpful to me, if i'm honest. if you're worried, just reach out. i'm literally a 4'9'' gremlin who sleeps with a m.unchlax plushie -- i promise i'm not scary despite this post uvu
#if i reread this one more time my head will explode asdfg so i'm done and hitting post#i need to stress though i'm very thankful for the people i have connected with in small and big ways <3 it means a lot to me#but i've been told bottling things up isn't a great idea so it's time i was just honest#also i’ve felt like this for a long time#so it’s not the time of year bc i know everyone gets busy during the holidays#i’m just feeling frustrated and tired bc in some instances my efforts do feel one-sided and this hobby is supposed to be an escape#rn it’s not such a great escape for me. i’m trying to be honest so that can change#i’m trying overall to reshape this blog a little in how i run it bc i want us all to have fun and feel seen#that means creating boundaries and being honest and trying new methods so that i don’t get overwhelmed and can actually write and chat#with everyone that i’d like to write and chat with uvu#alright……. i think that’s it after i’ve rambled in the tags asfhjk#i’ll queue this and a bunch of other stuff later when i’ve got time#for now i gotta finish getting ready for work — pls have a lovely day everyone!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Shigaraki: How did you get burnt so badly, but still have hair and eyelashes?
Dabi: Because-
Dabi:
———
Years earlier…
AFO: I’m tired of being bald.
Garaki: Understood.
#he controlled burned him#AFO said save that boy’s hair#I’m tired of being bald so my possession body needs luscious locks#a skin problem is one thing but baldness??!#the way he burned makes no anatomical sense they had to have intervened#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha memes#mha incorrect quotes#dabi#shigaraki tomura#mha spoilers
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I just learned why Shad hates Irene in canon and knowing what I do now about everyone’s favorite the Matron, I can say with my whole heart,
What the hell, Irene
#I keep coming across audios of Hyria telling Irene’s story too#and I can see why the people of Ru’aun love Irene! I see the saint they do in the stories#but I can also see that by the time she got around to Shad she wasn’t that person anymore#she was alone because of her power until she came across Shad and I can see how that might develop into clinging onto him with such an#intensity that she sends him to other realms to foster whatever their relationship is and falling in love with him#Shad is the only person Irene has ever known that’s on the same level as her so it makes sense she wants#him as a lover as something more intimate than what they are#but Shad was tired of being feared and hated and so he falls for the one person who acts very positively towards him#all Shad wanted was to be loved. to have a family.#and he got it! he had the love of his life and a beautiful baby girl and even a close group of friends in the Divine Warriors#and when they need the relics to protect the realm he understands that they’re made with human souls and he accepts that#for the sake of the greater good#only for Irene to use their daughter to make HIS relic and not tell him he’s using the weaponized version of their daughter’s soul#he’s obviously furious when he finds out. he confronts Irene heartbroken that she would do such a thing. Why their daughter?#and then she turns the rest of the Divine Warriors (who all worship her) against him#No wonder Shad wants revenge! No wonder he’s after every last fragment of his relic he can get his hands on#that’s all that’s left of his baby#Or maybe I’m thinking way too hard about a block roleplay#mcd irene#mcd shad#divine warriors#dropofsunlightextras#mcd rewrite#mcd#aphmau minecraft diaries#minecraft diaries#aphblr
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