#I’m so proud of myself for improving so much… and I’m really happy with how this turned out

[browniesnivy]

2024 vs 2018

[mielgf]

wishing you all comfort, love, and contentment in 2023, whatever that may look like for you ✨❤️ happy new year!!

[doudouneverte]

2nd choice, but 1st place

a/n: okay I was very inspired for that I don't know why. And it should be my last last football (soccer) fic at leat until the world cup

*not my GIF*

Pairing: VfL Wolfsburg (frauen) x Putellas!Reader; Alexia Putellas x sister!Reader; (hint of Lena Oberdorf x Reader)

Summary: You need to prove that you're notjust La Reina's little sister.

Type: Fluff

Warning: nothing

word count: 5433 (i was inspired sorry)

note:

(///////) means change POV to TV pov (I tried something very new)

----------

Dreams are made to come true, they say. Yours just started when you signed your first professional contract for Barcelona. You were nervous, but you were not alone; there was your sister, the great Alexia Putellas, and the one who will become your best friend, Ona Batlle. But your debut was not really like you expected; according to your previous coach, you were too much like your big sister, and the club decided to send you on loan to Levante.

You should be angry by their decision, but you got more play time there, and you were with Ona, at least until she joined the WSL. The defender tried to convince you to go with her and maybe play with her in Manchester, but you declined. You were really happy with your new club, and they even decided to keep you after the left back left.

But fortunately or unfortunately for you, Barcelona wanted you back after their Champions League final win against Chelsea. At first, you thought that they finally found an interest in you, but you learned late that it was more of a way for them to be sure you didn’t sign with the rival, Real Madrid.

At the end of the 2022 season, you received some calls from a lot of clubs who were ready to sign you next summer. Honestly, you didn’t know how they could recruit a bench player, but two clubs caught your attention: Manchester United and VfL Wolfsburg. When you talk about it with your sister, it’s unnecessary to say she wasn’t really happy with it.

You were with the team celebrating the three trophies won this season. You talked a little with Ingrid and Fridolina; you three grew up close because they joined the club with you. After they gave you some advice, you decided to pull your sister away from the girls to announce your decision.

"But why?" Alexia asked, and you rolled your eyes.

"Do you really need to ask?" You were not really shocked by the fact that she seemed oblivious to your situation; every time you played together, she looked as happy as when you were both children and you were trying to reach her level. But there is the problem: you were not that little kid anymore, and you definitely didn’t want to reach her level like you did in the past. "Listen, I already talked with the coach and everyone. Ingrid and Frido said that Wolfsburg is a great team to improve myself so I think I can try."

"But why? Is it because we lost in the Champions League? I’m angry too, but don’t worry; we will do it next year, I promise." She said, and you sighed.

"No, it’s not—" you groaned. "I mean, yes, I’m angry that we lost, but it’s not because of that."

"So what is it? I thought you wanted to win the Champions League together. I thought you wanted to show the world how incredible the Putellas sisters are." She said, and gave you a nudge.

"I want; I really want, but look at us. You won the freaking Ballon d'Or; you're the captain of the team and the national team. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really proud of you; nobody deserved it more than you. But look at me; I struggle to make my way on this team. Until I’m still in your shadow, I could never reach your level; it’s not your fault, but it’s just that no team needs two of the same players." You explained, and your sister stayed there, processing everything you said.

"I didn’t know," she said. You wrapped your arm around her shoulders and gave her a weak smile. "I’m sorry," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, it’s okay; it’s not your fault; it’s just that you started to create your own legend here, and it’s a good thing, but if I want to improve my skill, I need to leave." You said, and she hugged you.

======

The final whistle echoed in the stadium; it's over; Spain lost against England and was out of the Euro 2022. It took you a moment to realize what that meant. The coach called you just before the first match to let you know you'd replace your sister because she got injured just before the competition, and now you were angry and disappointed because you didn't qualify your team for the next round.

You were sitting on the pitch with your head in your hands when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turned your head to meet Ona's eyes. She was trying to restrain her tears, but you knew her better than anyone else. You didn't say anything; you just stood up and pulled her into a tight hug before your teammates came a few seconds later.

After a little while, you went to congratulate the winners with a sad smile, and you could see some English players were truly sorry for you. Leah came and hugged you while you tried not to fall apart on her shoulder. "I'm sure she's proud of you." She whispered to you, and you nodded. When you broke the hug and looked at the crowd, you saw her. Alexia was there, visibly sad, but she gave you a smile to reassure you and let you know that she's proud of your match even if Spain didn't win.

Later that night, you were with Ona, packing your things, when Alexia knocked on the door. The defender took a moment to analyze and make sure you were okay before she left you two alone.

"You did great." Alexia said, and you hummed, not really looking at her to avoid a possible deception on her face. She grabbed your hand, and you finally looked at her "I'm serious, you were the best player today."

"Yeah, but that was not enough to win." You replied, and she sighed. She knew why you were acting like that, why this defeat seemed more important to you than anyone else, and secretly she couldn't help but blame herself for something she couldn't change.

"This shot in the second half was extremely precise, and if their captain didn't touch the ball, I'm sure you would score." She added and rubbed your cheeks with her hand. You lowered your head to look at her leg and the clutches she carried with her everywhere.

"How is your knee?" You changed the subject; you were definitely not ready to talk about it right now.

"It will be hard, but I should be back before the end of the next season." She said, and sat on the bed where your suitcase was while you continued to fulfill it. There was silence until your sister spoke again. "You know, we'll miss you." She said it with a sad smile.

"I know, but it's not like I'll change continents or anything. We will stay in the same time zone, and if you're good without me, we will face each other in the Champion's League." You joked, and she gently pushed you.

You spent the rest of your summer with your family before being called to Germany. In the airport, your mom and Alexia were making sure you hadn't forgotten anything, while Alba and you just rolled your eyes at them. When they called your flight, you gave them a last group hug, cautiously avoiding touching your sister's knee.

To your surprise, everything fit perfectly; your new teammates were really happy to have a new face, and the coach seemed to really trust you. Due to your position on the field, you didn't start every match, but it was definitely enough to grow some ties with your teammates and one in particular, Lena Oberdorf.

You were used to playing behind your sister in Barcelona, so of course you didn't mind playing defensive midfielder beside her, and it was definitely a game changer to have both of you on the pitch. The Bundesliga seemed too small for you two; rare were the strikers who were able to pass you and the German.

You definitely shined during the group stage of the Champions League, when everyone was prepared to stop Poppy or Pajor; they didn't know you were able to play as N°10, and every goalkeeper was shocked to see you so close to their penalty areas.

Because of your perfect performance on the group stage, Lena started to call you Prinzessin, or princess in German, because of Alexia's nickname. You found it funny and started to call her your knight because she always cleaned up after you every time you lost a dual.

Everything couldn't be better; you were one of the best scorers in the Bundesliga and definitely the one with more assists. While you were eliminating the PSG, your best friend was becoming the best left back in the WSL, and your sister started to work out to prepare for her comeback.

======

At the press conference before your first leg at home against Arsenal, a journalist asked something funny to Tommy Stroot: "What can you say about the transformation of Y/n?"

"What?" Your coach asked back.

"I mean, it's not the end of the season, and she already beat her record from the two past seasons. She was involved in four goals in the semifinal of the DFB-Pokal against Bayern. So, I'm asking if you know something about her transformation on the pitch."

There was a little silence; the response seemed so obvious that the coach couldn't even believe he asked him that. "I don't know if it's really a transformation; when she trained with us for the first time, she beat my expectations. I don't think we did something to her; maybe she just needed some confidence and play time. She's a young player, and it's the most important thing."

"Talking about play time, she got injured in the last match; do you think she'll get back in time for the match tomorrow?" Another journalist asked.

No, definitely not, but she works hard on her side to be available for the match in London, so I'm not worried." After a few rounds of questions, the conference ended.

To your surprise, the first leg ended in a draw. You were frustrated not only because you couldn't play but also because you knew you had to win the next match. In London, things were a little different; the Gunners were favorites, of course, but the atmosphere was almost suffocating, and things didn't go better when Stina scored the first goal. You were on the bench for this match; you were ready to play, but your coach wanted to use you as a super sub, and this man rarely gets it wrong.

At the end of full time, the score was 4-4 in aggregate, so that meant overtime, and overtime meant super sub. You just need 15 minutes to install fear in your opponent's mind. You barely lost a ball, and even when it happened, Lena always had your back. And in the next fifteen minutes, you did what you did best this season: assisted Bremer eight minutes before the end and qualified Wolfsburg for another final in their history, and more than that, because it will be against Barcelona.

Until then, you win the dfb-Pokal without surprise, and you place yourself as the second-best scorer of the season in the Bundesliga. At the end of the season, everyone's eyes were locked on one thing.

The day before the final, you were in your hotel room in Eindhoven talking with some teammates who had invited themselves into your room when you received a text from Ona.

======

Ona: good luck for tomorrow, Princesa. I come with Leila and Laia

You: you come to see me or the girls? 🤔

Ona: everyone 

You: okay but I need to tell you that we will win tomorrow, so prepare the girls to comfort them

Ona: I don't come here to see my best friend lose

You: don't worry, you'll not

You: I need to go. the girls need me to annoy the older. see you tomorrow. I'll let you touch the trophy 😜 

Ona: yeah sure 🙄

On D-Day, the pressure was at its highest level; the fans were expecting a victory, and you, the players, would do anything for that. In the changing rooms, everyone was tense after the lecture from your coach. You started your little routine before any big games to focus until you saw Lena beside you, totally nervous.

"Hey Lee, are you okay?" You asked after you gently paused your hand on her tight. She looked at your hand before locking her gaze on yours.

"I don't know. I mean, it's a big game, like, THE big game of the season." She said, and you chuckled. You found her very cute when she was stressed, but she didn't need to know that, at least not yet.

"Yes, but you played a big finale last summer, remember?" You asked.

"And I lost." She replied.

"Okay, that's not what I was expecting." You admitted; you sighed and gently cupped her face with your hands, forcing her to look at you. "Listen, I know it's a big game. I know how terrifying it is to face a team like that, but you're not alone. There's all the team to help you in the first half, and I'll be there in the second, whatever happens." You said quietly, and she chuckled, leaving you confused.

"I was more stressed about making your ex-teammates cry because we would crush them, but I think your little speech helped me too." She joked, and you rolled your eyes, even if that made you laugh too.

"Okay now, enter that pitch and show them what my knight in shining armor can do." You said, and all the girls cheered you up.

///////

"Good afternoon, everyone, I'm Dave, and I'll be your commentator for this final of the Champions League. I'm not alone; I'm with Selena, our consultant for this match. Good afternoon, how are you?"

"Pretty good, thanks, Dave. And yeah, we're here today for THE most important match of the season, one of the most equilibrated matches of this Champions League journey, at least on paper."

"Yes, on paper, the match would be beautiful to see, but we need to remind ourselves that FC Barcelona start this match with a little advantage. They were declared champions a few weeks before the end of the season, so they could rotate their squad and rest their players for this final."

"Of course, it will be a great advantage, but we saw how Wolfsburg can be really dangerous when we're not ready. I don't think Alexia and her teammates will take it easy; I think the defeat of the last year is still in everyone's memories."

"Talking about Alexia and her teammates, the players should enter the pitch in an instant now." The players started to walk out of the tunnel, and everyone was focused on one thing: the victory. You were on the bench watching your first team against your provisory team.

The anthem of the Champions League was playing on the speaker of the Phillips Stadion; the supporters started to be impatient, and you were more nervous.

"I will never get used to this tension just before the kickoff."

"I totally understand you; it never misses to give me goosebumps. I was watching the composition of the two teams, and I'm a little shocked to not see Y/n in the starting eleven. What do you think about it?"

"It's a surprise, but not as big as anyone thinks. We know that Tommy Stroot likes to use her as a super sub, and it's technically those types of matches where anything could happen that you need someone like her."

"Her big sister doesn't start either, but it's not really a surprise, so I think I'm talking for everyone when I say that we are really excited to see the both of them on the pitch. And now the kickoff."

—------------

Surprisingly, after the kickoff, the advantage was clearly for the German team.

"The Spanish seem to struggle to keep the ball out of their side of the pitch."

"Yes, but we know they can reverse this; we just need to—"

"Oh no, big mistake from Bronze. Pajor can shoot, and- she didn't miss! Wolfsburg take the lead with a missile from their Polish striker."

"I was saying that they can reverse, but this didn't go well, haha."

"It's not your fault; nobody can predict that Lucy Bronze would leave a little place for Pajor to shoot. But only after fifteen minutes, the teammates of Alexandra Popp can dream to lift the prestigious trophy."

—------

"—she's doing one of her best performances today, but– but right now the Catalans recuperate the ball! Graham Hansen is alone by her side. Oh, what a great move to push the ball in front of the goals; she can shoot—no, she passes, why she—"

After only fifteen minutes, everything needed to be redone.

"It's Patri!! After only fifteen minutes, ladies and gentlemen, Patri scored the equalizer!"

"That was the best way to finish this action, Dave. What a great goal and great performance from the Spaniard since the Germans took the lead! The solution didn't come from the strikers, so she just decided to take it into her own hands. 1-1, the real game starts now."

"You said it, Selena; she had the lucidity to stay away from any defender, and the finish is just amazing."

You and the girls were gutted; you didn't plan to win this game with a big goal difference, so any goal against you is barely a synonym of defeat. The real nightmare started only five minutes before halftime.

"A corner kick for Barcelona. It's shot very well, and—it's Rolfö! The Swedish give the advantage to the Spaniard only five minutes before halftime! What a goal!"

"Like you said, Dave, what a goal from Fridolina Rolfö. She used to score beautiful headers, and that's why corner kicks are one of the most dangerous weapons on this team. She just freed her from any defender and easily put it in the back of the net."

"You can see the joy erupting from Barcelona's bench; the supporters are uncontrollable, and it's totally understandable. The Swedish player may have just secured the victory with this goal."

In the next five minutes, your teammates pushed but failed to score against a visibly blessed Paños.

"And the referee blew the whistle; it's halftime, ladies and gentlemen. We will remind you of the score for the one who just joined. There is a 2-1 lead for Barcelona. Pajor scored the first goal of the game, but only fifteen minutes later, Patri equalized, and Rolfö gave them the advantage a few minutes ago."

///////

Back in the changing room at halftime, your teammates looked defeated, and after another lecture from your coach, the room was pretty quiet. The girls seemed to be trying to focus on the second half. Lena rested her head on your shoulder, and you intertwined your fingers with hers.

"Okay girls, you heard me out." Alexandra started to speak and gained everyone's attention. She gave a pretty encouraging speech. During this time, you were rubbing your thumb on the back of Lena's hand.

After the speech, when it was time to go, you unconsciously kissed the defender's hand and made her blush, but you were totally oblivious. "I believe in you; I know you'll be better in this half." You whispered to her, and she squeezed your hand.

/////// 

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. We're here for the second half of this final of the Champions League, opposing Barcelona to Wolfsburg, and the Spaniard took the lead just before halftime." The two teams were going back on the pitch with a little change in the Spaniard's side.

"We were just talking about her before during the halftime, and Jonatan seemed to have heard you." You were one of the last ones to come out of the tunnel, and you were a little surprised to hear the Barcelona fan chanting your sister’s name, but you were more surprised to see her ready to start the end of the match. "No, you’re not dreaming Alexia Putellas will play her first minutes in this campaign! Now the question is how Wolfsburg will react to this."

It was not surprising that the Spaniard took the advantage at the start of the second half, and things went worse when what everyone expected happened.

"Bonmati for a cross in the box, the defense struggles to kick the ball out. Alexia recuperates the ball; she places herself and aims, and—it's a goal! Barcelona is now leading by two goals!"

The joy erupted from the benches of the previous finalists. All the Spanish supporters were screaming; it was almost done. Almost because it was only the fiftieth minute, they had to conceive the score for forty minutes, and your coach was about to make his biggest move.

Your teammates were about to start the end of the game until the referee blew the whistle for a sub.

"Things are going to be more exciting now. The coach of Wolfsburg just made his super sub, Roord, let her place to Y/n." As a reminder of the start of this second half, all the German fans were chanting your name when you entered the field. You found your position beside your defensive midfielder, and the match started again.

"I have an interesting statistic for you, Dave. Wolfsburg only lost three games this season when they aligned their duo Lena-Y/n. And what is most incredible is that Y/n is a former offensive midfielder, but she didn't struggle to play a little lower on the pitch. She's very versatile."

Yeah, it's very incredible, but you know what is very unbelievable?" 

"No what?" 

Is it that since they became pro, the Putellas sisters have played more against each other than with each other."

"Wait what?"

"Yeah, Y/n played for Levante until the last season, but she played only four games with her big sister on the pitch in Barcelona."

"It's quite funny because when we saw them playing together, it was almost like they had done it all their lives."

"Yeah, but I see almost the same result this season between Lena and Y/n, like now."

You recovered the ball, dribbled Aitana, and passed to Lena before being stopped by Keira. The German gave it back to you just perfectly in front of the penalty, and that led to you shooting and hitting the crossbar.

"She was so close to scoring only after five minutes of her appearance in this match."

"I think Tommy Stroot made a great choice to sub her on now; like we said earlier, even if she played alongside Oberdorf, she's a former offensive midfielder, which means that she can contribute to the offensive task. But she also gives hope to the team and their supporters; I think it's important too."

A few minutes later, Lena recovered the ball pretty high on the pitch and gave it to Sveindis, who made an incredible run, followed by Rolfö, but managed to cross it in the box, where you pushed it into the net with a big header.

"Ooh, what a goal! Y/n just scored a beautiful header, reducing the gap between the two teams."

"I wanted to say that the defense was too chill, but her placement was just perfect. She was quicker than anyone on this action, and I think it's not too bad to say she's quicker than anyone since she's here. She scored a striker's goal."

After thanking the Icelander and hugging some teammates, you were ready for the rest of the game. The game was more tense. The Barcelona players pushed really hard, but you were almost suffocating all their actions with Lena. Talking about action, your team just got one after a great save from Frohms, who kicked the ball far away. You controlled it and looked around to find yourself almost alone on the right side of the pitch, which means if you want to find a way to be in a good position to shoot, you have to use your left foot.

Alexia knew that; she was the one who praised you when you became more skilled than her, and what helped you was your ability to use both feet almost perfectly. Patri otherwise seemed to forget that because she was surprised when she got nutmegged; Rolfö just behind her tried to surprise you, but she got crocheted. You were running to the box, and when Mapi came to stop you, you noticed Popp alone was not offside yet, so you just lobbed the defender, and your captain controlled it perfectly. And she didn't miss her 1v1 with Paños.

"And Alexandra Popp for the equalizer!"

"What beautiful action from Y/n. She totally danced with her ex-teammates; she reached another level in this final."

You wanted to apologize to Patri, but you were stopped by the tall body of your captain, who pulled you into a tight hug. You laughed when she let you go, but not before she messed up with your hair like she had loved to do since the start of the season.

"I think we can say that Y/n is literally the definition of a supersub. She's implied in the two goals that helped Wolfsburg come back in this match. And from her expression, we can think it's not finished yet."

The German fans were chanting your name like you had been in this club for a few seasons now. That made you blush, and you made a heart with your hand to show them your love before the next and hopefully last quarter of the match.

Your sister and her teammates were more nervous and reckless in the last minutes, maybe because of the stress that led to some ugly tackles, which almost made you feel nostalgic about your matches against Georgia Stanway.

"The fourth referee announced 5 minutes of extra time. If Wolfsburg continue like that, maybe they could win in overtime like against Arsenal."

Only five minutes of extra time, despite all the fouls, was a miracle. Barcelona's players were more aware of you, and sometimes you were almost never marked by only one player. But you found a little breach where you forced your passage, and you found yourself trying to keep the ball from your sister and Ingrid. You wanted to pass, but they blocked every angle, so you took some steps back and decided to do it quickly.

You easily erased your sister with a dribble on her wrong side, and the Norwegian received your fourth nutmeg of the match. You wanted to pass to Pajor when you felt something collide against your foot, and you fell to the ground.

"Ouch, it's a pretty bad tackle from Mapi Leon."

///////

You were on the ground with your ankle between your hands, trying to ease the pain, when you heard multiple voices arguing.

"Hey, are you crazy?" You recognized Poppi’s voice.

"I didn’t do that on purpose, okay?" Mapi replied.

Lena quickly came to you and tried to distract you while your sister tried not to let your captain hurt her best friend. "Hey, do you hear me?" she asked, and you nodded. "Okay, good. The medics should come in a few seconds. Do you think you can continue the match?"

"Yes, of course." You spoke through the pain, and she nodded. Like she said, the medics came a little after; it was not serious, but it was not a good move from your national teammate. After the approval of the medic, you prepare yourself for the free kick.

A foul in front of the box, not so far, a little on the right side. Svenja took the ball, placed it, and looked at the players in the penalty area. You were still beside her, lightly testing your foot.

///////

"It seems that Y/n and Svenja Huth are talking about who’ll shoot this free kick. It can be the last action of the match. Who should shoot it for you, Selena?"

"Oh, it’s a tough question. We know Svenja can find a teammate in this situation; she took all the free kicks like always, and she was good like always. But, even if the last time she took a free kick was in her time at Levante, Y/n have pretty good statistics on this exercise."

///////

You took two steps back and a step to the left, took a deep breath, and focused on the goal. The referee blew the whistle. Alexia met your gaze; she knew. Svenja raised her left hand to indicate the near post. She started to run but stopped herself in front of the ball. She just took a step to the right, and you made your way to shoot.

Your feet hit the ball, and you saw it fly toward the goal in the opposite upper corner.

///////

"Y/n took the free kick and—she scored! In the last minute of this final, Y/n gave the victory against her former club! It’s totally unbelievable!"

"You say it, Dave! I thought Svenja would shoot it, but she let the young Spaniard, and for her first free kick with the wolves, Y/n just scored a beautiful one! She perfectly hit the opposite corner; Sandra Paños didn’t see it coming. This final is incredible, and this player is incredible. And the referee just blew the end of the match."

"They did it! Wolfsburg are Champions again for the third time in their history!"

///////

All the bench ran to you; you couldn’t process what was happening until you felt yourself being tackled on the ground by Lena, quickly followed by the rest of the team. You did it; you won your first Champions League. The tears started to run down your cheeks, and you wrapped your arms around the defensive midfielder.

"We did it," she said to you, and you nodded. She brushed away your tears and discreetly kissed your cheek.

You wanted to celebrate more, but you noticed your national teammates’ faces. You went to console a lot of them when you spotted Fridolina and Ingrid with Mapi and Alexia. The ex-Wolfsburg players noticed you first and were the first to hug you and congratulate you.

"We told you it'd be a good team for you." The Swedish said, and some tears started to fill your eyes.

"Hey, don't cry. It's okay." The Norwegian said this time, and you just gave her a sob as a response. They broke the little group hug when Mapi came closer to you.

The defender was the next to catch you between her arms. "I'm sorry for earlier." She and you shook your head to let her know that you weren't angry about that. Congratulations, hermanita." she continued.

"Thank you," you replied shyly. The girls patted your shoulders and left to see the rest of the team. It was just you and your sister now. She was crying, of course, and that made you cry too. When she noticed your tears, she just opened her arms wide, and you filled the space.

"You did it," your sister said, and you nodded against her shoulder. "I'm proud of you." She pulled away to look at you. "I meant it; you were the best player today."

"I'm sorry." You said while you were crying, but the captain immediately shushed you and pulled you into another hug.

Hey, no, don't be sorry. It's okay; we lost, and it's frustrating, but you deserve it. Listen," she pulled away from the hug and pointing to the supporters around you. Even some of Barca’s fans were chanting your name. "You proved everyone that you’re more than my little sister; you start to create your own history." You wanted to say something, but you were required to do an interview.

After that, the final ceremony started. You were a little surprised to be the player of the match, but Lena kept saying that it couldn't be anyone except you. While you were talking with the midfielder, Alexandra was talking with your sister. Their conversation was a little interrupted when they saw you chase the German with a big smile.

"Do you think I need to say something?" the Spanish captain asked.

"Not yet," the tall captain replied, and your sister nodded.

This third June, despite what everyone thought before this final, you led the Germans to number one in Europe. Your dreams came true.

[i-am-baechu]

♬ Summary: Jungkook is proud that Y/N is his girlfriend and he of course lets the world know how much he loves her. 

♬ Pairing: Established relationship; Jungkook x reader 

♬ Rating:  Explicit (18+) 

♬Genre: Established relationship, comedy, angst?, fluff, and smutish

♬ Warnings: Smut angst(ish) and fluff (lol) 

♬ Part of, ‘ His Fan Girl

♬ Authors note: Time jump like I know the story isn’t here yet but I couldn’t help myself lol 

After being with Y/N for a while, Jungkook already knew her reaction to the song. Y/N always got mad (flustered) at him for sharing things with his members about their love life but she also thought it was cute. When Jungkook told her that he was working on his solo album, he lied to her. The lie wasn’t big but he just said he was going to do a love song for her and she couldn’t help but fall for him more. The song had two versions to it, normal (for Y/N) and explicit (for Jungkook); problem solved. The only thing he wasn’t looking forward to was Y/N scolding him. 

Y/N sat in the studio watching Jungkook sing away in the booth and she couldn’t help but smile at him. She loved watching him sing because of how passionate he was about it. He opened his eyes and gave her his bunny smile letting her know he was truly happy. He put his headphones on the stand and walked outside. He gave her the hand motion to come here and she tilted her head at him. She placed her laptop on the couch and said her sorrys to the producers who just gave her a smile. She stood under Jungkook and gave him a confused look, “Is everything okay?” 

He nodded his head and leaned down, giving her a quick kiss, “I just wanted a kiss from you.” 

Her face felt hot and she glanced at the producers who weren’t even paying attention to them, “Yo-You can’t just kiss me in front of them...” 

“Why? You don’t want my love?” 

She slapped his chest gently and crossed her arms over her chest, “T-That’s not what I meant and you know that.” She looked over his body to look at the stand and a soft smile appeared, “You're doing a good job. Your English has improved, I’m proud of you.”

He kissed her forehead at this and nodded his head, “It was all because of you. You're a great teacher, you know.” 

“I-I tried my best...Are you almost done?” 

“Almost, can you wait another hour?” 

“Of course, I can. I just need to look over the reports from work.” 

He nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry you have to wait for me.” 

“Eh? It’s okay, Kook. I’m glad I can spend time with you.” 

Another reason why he loved Y/N. She was always patient with him and just wanted to be with him regardless of what it was. He also knew she struggled in her life. She had clinical depression and there were days when it was so hard for her to function. It hurt him to see her like that because no matter what he did, she stayed the same. She always felt bad for doing this to him but he understood. 

“Baby, are you okay?”

Y/N looked up from there to give him a small smile, “I will be...”

He gave her a small frown and sat on the bed. He grabbed her hand, rubbing her knuckles gently, “Are you having another episode?” 

She sighed and nodded her head, “I am...I don’t know why though. I know you wanted to go on a date today but I don’t know...I don’t know if I can. I-I’m sorry.” 

“I wish I could take the weight off of your shoulders.” 

She gave him a small smile and leaned into his body, “I love you...”

“I love you more.” 

Her shy nature made intimate moments between the two even better. Jungkook still couldn’t believe that she was a virgin when they met and that she didn’t really have experience with a boyfriend. It made his heart flutter to know that he was her first and her last. It was an honor that he will carry for the rest of his life. There were moments when she had to push Jungkook out of bed to go to work or even to stop him from having another round. He just couldn’t get enough of her. How could he? She was everything he wanted and more, a blessing even. 

“Yo-Your fingertips are cold...”

“Let me warm them up then.” He slid his hand down her stomach to her entrance. He shoved two fingers in and she arched her back off of the bed. He looked down at her red face and couldn’t help his heart beat faster. She looked so cute even though they were doing something sinful. 

He brought his head down to her breast and started sucking at her nipple making her moans even louder. He backed away and grabbed the condom off of the bed but she noticed he was different tonight. He looked nervous and she kind of knew why. She gently brought his head into her chest and kissed the side of his head, “Kookie~, It will be okay. I know your solo will be good.” 

He pulled away and looked down at her and gave her a soft smile, “I love you.” 

“And I love you more.” 

He placed the condom on his cock and gave her another smile, “I don’t think you understand...I love you so much.” 

He intertwined their fingers together next to her head and thrust into her. She let out a moan and he leaned down letting her moan into his mouth, “Kook~!” 

Their tongues swirled each other and he opened his eyes to peek at her. Her face was so red that he could feel the heat off of it and with her eyes closed, it made her look so innocent. He kept thrusting into her as he placed kisses on her neck, “You give me strength...” 

Today was release day. Y/N and Jungkook were in New York for him to perform at Good Morning and she was so excited to see it. She was going to be in a special area making sure no one could see her. This was the second thing on her mind, the first thing on her mind was just seeing him perform. They sat in the hotel with her laptop on the bed as she looked at him with a smile, “Are you excited?” 

He gave her a nervous smile and laugh, “I’m not sure...” 

She leaned forward placing a kiss on the tip of his nose, “I’m excited. You didn’t let me come with you to the filming...I’m still upset about that, you know.”

He rolled his eyes and brought her in to sit on his lap with her laptop in hers. He kissed the side of her head and chuckled, “I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

“You know I don’t like surprises...”

“Too bad.” 

She glanced at the time and looked up to see him already looking down, “Are you ready?” 

“Yeah, I am.” 

She pressed play and she watched it as he played with her fingers. She laughed at some parts and rolled her eyes. When the video was over, she turned her body so she could straddle his waist with a goofy smile, “This just shows how clingy you are...”

“Clingy for you only baby.” 

The autoplay on youtube went to the next song and she glanced to see what was playing. She turned her whole body and she squinted at the screen, “JUNGKOOK! WHY DOES THIS SAY EXPLICIT!” 

He felt sweat forming on his forehead as he let out a small laugh, “I-It’s nothing.” 

I'll be fuckin' you right, seven days a week. She glared at the screen with her mouth open and her face blazing. She shut her laptop and let out a groan as she brought her hands to cover her face, “Why did you make that!?”

He pouted at her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “Because I love you, plus the world knows I have a girlfriend. They know I’m talking about you.” 

“Th-They don’t know it's me! OH MY GOD, THE GUYS ARE GONNA LISTEN TO THIS AND KNOW!!” 

Jungkook let out a laugh and kissed her cheek, “I kiss your waist and ease your mind..”

“NOT NOW JUNGKOOK! SINGING WON’T GET YOU OFF THE HOOK!”

[ryemackerel]

probably the first time of all my years of digital art that i’ve managed to actually do an art summary!! and especially a summary on one of my most productive years

excluding the other unpublished art i haven’t posted, i have made around 130 posts this year??? which is *insane*???

looking back at this, i can proudly say 2023 has been one of my best art years yet :] in terms of how much i’ve pushed myself to improve and go beyond what i was usually capable of drawing, i want to take the time to really say “hey, i’m actually pretty proud of myself”

i’m happy to have found people who have always supported my work regardless of what interests i drew. i’m happy to have found so many new friends that shared the same interests as me.

the year started out *extremely* rough. it was difficult to phase into a new fandom and grow my account again. for months i wasn’t the most proud of my work?? nor did i feel like i was improving much. it took ages to finally regain that confidence, and i think its safe to say ive regained my footing with my artwork :]

WHGAGAH YES IM KEEPING MY CAPTION SIMPLE BECAUSE I DONT WANT IT TO BE ANY LONGER BUT!! i cant express my gratitude enough for everyone that has watched me grow into the artist i am today! thank you all so much for this wonderful year, im wishing you all the bestest end-of-the-year. take care and see you in 2024 🫶

[el-buzz]

Too much work!! :c

A Cg! Clay x Agere! Reader fic

This was sort of self-indulgent because I’m sort of in a spot where I seriously have to focus on schoolwork which obviously can be really draining so I tried to scrap this together whenever I had free time :D

(^such a lie I did all this when I should’ve been doing work or sleeping dinwhdjsjdh)

it’s not the best but I wanted to feed myself and anyone else interested in cg! Clay

Again it’s mostly kiddo at start but then goes into more toddler/babyish reader at the end

3.1k+ words :D!! (Yeah I traded quality for quantity 😭😭)

Cross posted on Ao3 at Soft_Buzz!!

Let's just say you haven't been having the best month. Seriously, it hasn't been easy to stay happy, but you really do try your best! It's not your fault that everything just seems like too much. You wanted to help Clay with his tasks. You know, help a loved one out! Unfortunately, the paperwork and amount of tasks you had were overwhelming. Checking the safety of the old gold courses, the amount of food left before needing to send another party out for scavenging, and even the functionality of the new security that had been set up was draaaaaaaining.

Sure you did have Clay to help you out with the accounting, buuuut by the time you were done with everything, you were just too tired to even function!! At least the praise he would give you provided you with some energy and motivation. You genuinely have no idea how Clay seems to find joy in any of this and even has the energy to participate in other activities like his sad book club. You weren't barely even able to spare time to read for funsies or scrapbook at all!

Currently, you were doing the most simple of reports in the admin building, but your brain just will not budge. You just can't concentrate or recall any information at all. You read parts of paperwork, but gosh it all just seems like mumbo jumbo to you. Poor you, staring at the paper desperately hoping for things to align and make sense, but you were just so tired and irritated too!!

All this serious business was genuinely so not your forte, but you wanted to impress Clay by helping him out. But clearly, your plan wasn't working out too well... You didn't want to disappoint him. You wanted him to be proud of you and tell you how good you've done!!

Overwhelming guilt got a hold of you, and tears began to spill down your cheeks. You just wanted a break. You needed a break. You couldn't handle this. It was too much. Gosh even your skin felt like too much and chewing on one of your fingers clearly wasn't helping. The pen in your hand shook from your hold. Your breath hitched, and it started to get hard to breathe. Ignoring your tears, you decided to try to continue the report with shaky handwriting. Tears fall onto the fresh ink. You tried to clean them off by swiping away, but you only managed to smudge the ink and ruin the report.

That was your last straw. Nope no no no. You whined. As you start taking in your situation, you begin to sob. You throw your pen and crumble the stupid report out of frustration. You just couldn't anymore. You sniffled and tried to hold back your emotions. The last thing you wanted to do was make a mess that you would have to clean up. You let the tears fall as you hiccup and bring your legs up to your chest.

Unfortunately, your state doesn't improve when you hear the door of the admin building creak open. Shoot shoot shoot. You panic as you try to get rid of your tears by rubbing them off with your hands. You quickly get back to sitting correctly and try to hide your face from view. The last thing you wanted was for Clay to see you like this.

"Heyy Y/n," Clay says as he enters. From the sound of his tone, he clearly had his usual upbeat smile. "You've seriously got to try that new cheese combo that Viva made. It's killer" He takes note that you're quiet and really focused on some paperwork. "Okay.. you're focused. I respect that." You sniffle. "Wait a minute.. Are you sick? Is that why you aren't talking? Your throat hurts or something?" You tremble as he starts to walk over to you and reaches to feel your forehead. Well, you tried..

You look up at him and start to tear up again. "Woah? Hey, what's going on? You're kinda freaking me out?" The concern is evident on his face, and your heart warms at the thought of him being attentive to you. But gosh were you also scared to death right now, and to make matters worse, you started to feel that fuzzy headspace encase your mind.

You whine, not sure of what to say to him, and open your arms for a hug while hiccuping. "Can I have a hug? P-please?" Your voice cracks as you speak.

Clay sighed and took you in his arms, hugging you tightly. "There, there. Take your time," he soothed, rubbing your back. "It's okay, now. I'm here. You've got me." After a few minutes, and a bit of protest from you, he pulled away and wiped the corners of your damp eyes with his thumb, smiling with much love and care in the world.

By now your breathing had evened, and all you had left was some sniffling. "Now..," Clay starts as he caresses your cheek, "Do you want to talk about it?"

You pout and look down while fidgeting with your fingers. After a few seconds, you nod. "It's just..." you bring your thumb up to your mouth, "too mush."

Clay tilts his head at that. "What's too much?" He questions as he runs his hand through your hair and reaches into his pocket for a lollipop that Viva had given him earlier.

"Work!" You whined before sniffling and rubbing your hand against your nose.

"You feel overwhelmed because of your tasks?" Clay questions you softly as he removes your thumb from your mouth and hands you a lollipop. As you take it from his hands, you whine and nod. "Oh baby...," he mutters as he caresses your face, "but I thought you liked doing them?" You put the lollipop into your mouth and try to calm yourself before speaking again.

"I did..," you look up at him, "I wanted to help you. I really did!" You exclaim at him, but then start to look away with teary eyes. "B-but, then everyfing kept piling up an- and I was tired and started being slow and getting distracted and suddenly I barely had any time for myself!"

Clay just sighs softly and pulls you onto his lap when you finish speaking. "Why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?? We could've sorted the problem out before it got this bad." He questions you.

You bit your trembling lip while still looking away from him. "Didn wanna upset you," you pouted as you felt yourself fall into a younger mindset.

"Oh honey, you know you'd never disappoint me. I love you too much to ever feel that way towards you."

"No even a lil?" You ask while looking up at him in awe.

"Not even a lil," he answered with a reassuring smile while leaning in to kiss your forehead.

"The only thing that really disappoints me is the fact that I never realized you felt this way," He gives you a tight squeeze and nuzzles your neck. You return his embrace with new tears rolling down your cheeks. You tighten your hold scared that if you don't, you might just fall apart.  The both of you stay quiet for a moment as he hugs you and whispers sweet nothings into your ear while rubbing your back. You hiccup and sniffle, but you don't dare to loosen your hold. Not that Clay minded. He'd been concerned for you and just wanted to give you the best comfort he could provide.

After calming down, you loosen your hold. Clay cups your face with both of his hands and starts littering your face with kisses. You persist on moving away from him but he keeps his hold on your face.

"Hmno.!.. M' icky!" You snuffle.

"Hmm true... but when has that ever stopped me?" He questions with a smug smile on his face. Your silence answers him for you. "Exactly. But you do have a point," Clay states as he grabs a tissue or two from the desk. "Here." He brings it up to your face and helps you blow your nose. "There we go. Much better now right?" He then chucks the dirty tissue into a trash can.

"Mhm, fank you!" You smile back at him while.

"No problem, baby." He responds and boops your nose, which gets a giggle out of you.

"You know.. you do such a good job all the time, but you clearly need a break and that's okay. So..," Clay picks you up. "That's what we're gonna do. Take a break."

You start squirming in his hold. "Buh wah bout tha wok?!?" You babble while reaching out for the report you had started to redo earlier. Clearly that desperate need to be a sort of workaholic kicked in.

"Ah ah ah," Clay tuts you while bouncing you in his arms, "shhh about that now. We're taking a break. End of discussion." He asserts while petting your head as you pout.

"Plus someone is clearly too small to be doing big adult work. Looks like I've got a little baby on my hands " He says while cooing at you and pinching your cheeks. You were about to whine and complain, but a quick peck on the cheek quieted you right up. "Hm much better."

"Gesss it wouldn huwt," you mutter and start to cling to Clay.

"No it wouldn't," Clay reaffirms to you while making your head rest on his shoulder. Clay opens the door. "Hang tight. We're going back to your pod for some little time okay?"

"Mkay." You wrap your limbs around him and hide your face in the crook of his neck. Gosh if anyone saw you right now, you'd just combust from embarrassment.

Sensing your unease, Clay gives you a kiss on your head and starts to pat and rub your back. "Don't worry we'll be there before you know it." You just respond to him with a soft whine and start to fidget with the stick of your lollipop.

•••

When you get inside your pod, Clay walks past the living room and into your bedroom. He set you down and your bed and gives you your stuffie. Now with you focused on your lil buddy, Clay takes the opportunity to get you a comfortable set of clothes. He comes backs, and you let him help you into them. Clay can't help himself and decides to tickle you to get a giggle out of you, which works of course. You squirm and playfully fight back. He soon stops and chucks your big kid clothes into a laundry basket.

"Ok, now how about you get your little stuff and toys out while I set up a play area in the living room?" He asks while turning back to you.

"Yeah!!" You jump up and start to get your stuff from under the bed.

"Alright," Clay chuckles and pats your head before getting some soft blankets, pillows, and some stuffies and exiting the room.

You, very enthusiastically, search through your stuff trying to pick out some of the things you want such as your paci, a sippy cup, and some stim toys! When you were done, you put everything back in the box as neatly as you could and shoved it under the bed.

You quickly run out of the room with newfound enthusiasm and everything in your hands, maybe dropping a toy or two on your way over. But it's okay! You'll come back for them, probably.

In the living room, Clay has now set up blankets and arranged the pillows on the floor and couch. He had also quickly grabbed some grapes from the fridge and put them in a bowl on the coffee table. Now, Clay pulled out some paper and crayons that you had stored in one of your cabinets, in case you felt like drawing or scribbling. He just wanted to make this a good experience for you!

Clay looks up and sees you running over to him, "Careful there. You don't wanna fall over and get hurt." He chuckles.

"Nah I won-" you begin to brush him over before you stumbled over and start to fall over, making you drop all of your stuff.

"Woah!!" Clay quickly places down the blank paper and hurries over to catch you before you fell hard.

You whine and look down with a frown due to the random scare and dropping everything.

"Oh chin up, sweetheart." He speaks softly while taking out the bare lollipop stick and replacing it with your pacifier, which you happily took. "Just a lil scare but you'll always be safe with me. Let me take me take care of this"

You whine and shake your head. "Hmno! I help!" You remark and start to get on with the business of picking up your mess like the very independent kiddo you desperately wanted to be.

"Hey! Nope no c'mon..." Clay picks you from under your armpits like, one might with a cat, and then settles you right on his hip.

You look at him with an apparent frown and pout. "I help."

"No. Not today. Let me do this for you. Let me take care of my baby." He caresses your cheeks before giving a few pecks on the forehead and cheek.

"You may want to be a big kid, but you definitely need to be small. Just want to show you a token of my appreciation for the hard hard work you've been doing, yes?" He looks as your for further confirmation.

You sigh. "Okay.., jus fo today," you mumble slightly upset, but you wrapped yourself around Clay anyway. He smiled before humming and getting to work, which honestly helped you relax and start to nod off. The pacifier in your mouth just helped to make everything feel fuzzy and sleepy..

Once done, Clay set you down the floor on top of the blankets and pillows. You plop yourself right on top of them and start to make grabby hands at one of your stuffies on the couch. Happily, Clay hands it over to you and you begin to snuggle your buddy. He coos at the cute sight in front of him, causing you to blush but be more playful.

"Gosh you are so adorable, hun. How did I end up with the world's cutest baby?" He pinches your cheeks, and you just smile and babble back him. "Who's the cutest baby? Huh? Huh? Is it you?" He tickles and nuzzles you. You kick your feet in the air and tap your chest with one of your hands. "Yeah, that's right! You are! You're the cutest one!"

You move onto your tummy and crawl over to the stimmy toys that you had brought with you. They are in such pretty colors. Clay sits down beside you and follows along and entertains your little antics. Doing little things like grabbing a toy, showing you how to use it, and handing it over for you to try it too! Unfortunately, you start to be impulsive and play a little too rough with them by grabbing and throwing them against the ground. Seems like the both of you might have underestimated the extent of your regression. Woops...

"Looks like we gotta make a change of plans huh lil bub?" He pushes the toys away from you, but you whine and reach out for them, almost dropping your pacifier in the process. "You're too small to be playing with these right now. Oh look!!" He hands you your stuffy from earlier. "This friend wants some cuddles. C'mon give him a big big hug!" He made an example of him hugging an invisible teddy and you followed suit.

As you were busy tending to your teddy, Clay made sure to move the smaller and harder toys away from you. He didn't want you getting hurt or accidentally breaking something because of some rough playing or you putting things where they shouldn't go. Instead, he surrounds you with soft textured stuff like your blankets and stuffies.

When he was done, he decided to offer you some of the grapes he had gotten. "You want some bubba?"

You gasp and nod. "Mhm mhm I wan pleaseeee!!"

"Here you go," he gives you a few, and you happily start chewing and eating them.  You even pretend to feed you stuffie. Hey, they get hungry too! Clay chuckles and then gives you a kiss on the forehead.

After a while of playing with your fluffy friends, you start you feel your eyelids and head droop a little. You look at Clay and tug at his sweater.

"Hm?"

"eep..." You whine and rub your tired eyes.

Clay takes in your state and pulls you onto his lap. "I see." He slides one of his hands up and down your back. "You want some warm tea?" He whispers and you nod softly.

"Sippy or bottle?"

"Baba.." you manage to mutter. A small pout forms on your lips. If you were to be honest, you'd admit that you were a little upset over regressing to a younger state than you would've liked.

Clay gets up and places you on the couch before walking away and into the kitchen to make you some tea.  You get comfortable and bury yourself under a the blankets, looking all snug like bug.

By time Clay came back with the tea in a baby bottle, your pacifier looked like it was about to fall out of your mouth. Chuckling to himself, he takes it and places it on the coffee table. He carefully moves you, so he can sit beside you. You start to wake up a little and start to whine while making grabby hands at him.

"Shh shh, I've got you." He grabs you and moves you onto his lap to comfortably feed you your babas.

You snuggle up against him and rub your face on his torso. He brings the bottle up to your lips and you take it into your mouth. The soft and warm feeling of the tea fills you and makes you feel ever so small yet happy.

Clay starts to hum and pat your side while holding the bottle up for you. You lightly place one of your hands on top of his and he caresses your soft cheek.

After a while, you were close to finishing the bottle, but sleep seemed to win over you. Clay noticed this and placed the bottle on the coffee table. He moved, so he could be laying down with you on top of him. Clay placed your stuffy in your arms and wrapped his arms around you.  Smiling at the sight of you before him, he gives you one last kiss on the head.

Author’s Note:

Lowkey, I felt like I was yapping after reader and Clay left the admin building. I just desperately wanted to reach 3k words for some reason aghhh and I so missed the opportunity to have Clay read to the reader

I had originally planned to make this into two separate parts but honestly I just wanted this over with so it is definitely rushed but comme ci, comme ça (at least I finally made a fanfic that I actually go all the way through to finish woo!! 🎉‼️)

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

[thetriplets3]

chris realizing that he’s in love with y/n after a while of dating and he’s nervous to say it and plans out a really cute date and when he goes “i have something to tell you” the reader just goes “i love you, too”

♥︎ i love you’s ♥︎

With the sun peeking through the curtains it peacefully illuminates my room. With a gentle groan I sprawl out in bed stretching out my limbs. Tiredly, I reach to my bedside table and grab my phone. The usual notifications filled my lock screen but one in particular caught my eye. 

“Mornin darling, you free around 4:30? Wanna see you, I miss you.”

My mood immediately improved seeing it was from you. I quickly sent you a text back before getting out of bed and getting on with my day. 

“of course i’ll let you know when i’m leaving i miss you too”. 

“See u then dress comfy”

We’ve been together for just under a year and we still haven’t said I love you to each other. This is both of our first relationships, we’re both worried of saying something wrong and messing things up. I truly can’t see myself with anyone but you but it’s hard to believe that when neither of us know how to express our feelings. I shake those thoughts out of my head and focus on getting ready. You told me to dress comfy so I pulled out a baby blue oversized hoodie, that I’m pretty sure is yours and some black sweats. I didn’t do much for makeup, just kept it light with some mascara and blush to add a pop of color to my cheeks. 

Checking the time I see it’s 4:18. I grab my phone, sending you a quick message letting you know I’m on my way over. As I go to open the door to my car I find you standing there holding it open. You give me space to step out before wordlessly giving me a quick kiss and pulling out a blindfold from your pocket and tying it over my eyes. 

“At least take me on a date before you blindfold me” I sarcastically say. 

“Sorry blindfold first, date second,” you say as you guide me towards your room. 

“I trust you with my life but the moment you take away my sight all that trust is gone. I’m defenseless,” I joke. 

Entering your room you gently take off my blindfold, careful to not pull my hair. I take a look around the room to find my favorite movie queued up on your tv waiting to be played, LED lights softly illuminating the room, your bed covered in our favorite snacks topped off with some cozy blankets. I look at you with my eyes wide. You have the cutest, proud little smile adorning your face. It was soft and gentle, you looked so happy with yourself for surprising me. An upside down smile makes its way into my face, my heart melting at the effort you put into making a little us night. 

“Wait, there’s more,” you say as you guide me towards your washroom. I send you a confused and suspicious look wondering what could be in the bathroom. Atop the counter are a few of my favorite face masks; some peel off, some silly animal sheet masks. I smile at the few candles that are lit; you remembered to get unscented ones knowing they can bother my head.

Standing on my tiptoes, I wrap my arms around your neck, pulling you in for a hug before whispering a soft, “Thank you,” in your ear. 

We decided to start with the face masks then watch the movie. I’m sitting criss-crossed on the counter grabbing the makeup wipes I left here. “Can I do it for you?” you gently ask. 

“Sure, if you want to,” I say as I hand you the pack of wipes. 

Taking one out, you softly hold my chin on your hand while using the other to wipe the makeup off of me. I can’t help but look at you in awe, you’re so concentrated carefully making sure you’re being gentle with my skin. Seeing how delicate you were made my heart swell. I like seeing this calm relaxed side of you. When you finish wiping the makeup off you plant a big wet kiss on my cheek.

I throw my hair into a bun and start applying the mask to your face as you try to hold your hair out of your face. You tried to help but it kept getting in the mask so I pulled your hair into a tiny ponytail at the top of your head. I burst out laughing at how silly you look.

“Go ahead and laugh, you'll look just as stupid in a second,” you tease. 

With both our masks on we decide to do something in the meantime as they dry. You grab your phone shielding the screen from my view as you press play on a playlist. I'm taken back when I hear my favorite song come on because it's not what you usually listen to. You waste no time pulling out the most random moves you can think of earning a giggle from me. That's something I've always admired about you, you don't care what anyone thinks of you. You do what makes you happy. I quickly join you matching your dance moves. We continue dancing and laughing our heads off for a few more songs until the timer to rinse our masks goes off. 

With our freshly clean faces, we get comfortable in your bed with our snacks. While we're watching the movie I can't help but think what tonight was all for because this isn't typical of you. Sure you planned things for us to do all the time but this soft, delicate side of you was rare. 

“Chris?” I ask as you pause the movie to pay full attention to me. “Was there a reason for tonight? I mean I loved it but what made you do all this?” I questioned. 

“I've been wanting to tell you something, but I haven't figured out how, because words can't even begin to explain how I feel about you, so I tried saying it by planning all this, but I just-” 

“I love you too Chris” I say with a big smile. 

“Took the words right outta my mouth. I love you. I'm sorry it took so long to say it”. 

“That doesn't matter to me, all that matters is that we know now,” I say, giving you a kiss. 

Taglist:

@orangetreekid @stxrniqlo

[assumptionprime]

Hi! I’ve loved reading your comics <3 I’m trans and I live in the UK so that’s uh…. haha…. I guess I don’t need to say how I’m doing. I read your comic on how so much of transition just feels like waiting, and I totally understand, though in a slightly different way, since I’m pre-transition. I can’t have any access to healthcare at the moment (HRT, surgery, etc.) because I live in a super unaccepting environment. I can’t even cut my hair short or buy boys clothes, that’s how bad it is, and it definitely feels like a waiting game until I get out of here and start living my life. I’m scared I’m never going to get HRT or surgery, and the potential waiting time (especially in the UK where they’re basically trying to ban transition all together) is making me lose a lot of hope, but I keep myself going with the thought of all the gender euphoria opportunities I’m going to have in the future!

Even so, I hope things go well, and I am always so happy for other trans people who get to start their transition journeys. I’m sorry you’ve had to wait around so long, but as a random stranger on the internet, I’m also very proud of you!

Sorry for the long ask btw. It’s hard to find other trans people out there, so I might have gotten a bit carried away… I really hope you’re having a good day, and if not, I hope you do soon ❤️

No worries about the long ask, and I’m glad you like my comics!

It was important to me to say in the comic, and I suppose also to reiterate here: for all the frustration and waiting, transition has absolutely been worth it to me. I’ve had lots of good come from it along with the troubles I’ve had.

I hope things in the UK and in your personal situation improve and you can get started on what you want and need. Hang in there.

[phlurrii]

Good and Bad News

1am post because my hands are on fire, but we have 5 panels left of the new comic. I think this is one of my largest updates. I’ve taken an excruciating long time as I keep redrawing things to make them look better and improve overall quality.

This is a concept I’ve had sketched for months and cooking for even longer, I’m so, SO happy to get it out. It also really demonstrates Meau’s current mental state towards situations and how she’s coping on the inside the moment she’s faced with it again. Even if supposedly harmless.

I’m really proud of this update and I think I’m gonna end up redrawing a 1 or 2 more aspects of older panels to make the quality more cohesive even still.

However, the bad news is the amount of time this has taken because of said quality. There was suppose to be 2 massive updates this month, but due to getting sick last month for a whole week and deciding to really make this one look pretty…

Noe’s Arc probably won’t be until Christmas Day or late December as a whole. Possibly even early January, but I will fight myself to get it out before then.

I am, probably, the most disappointed out of everyone, given the sheer insanity I have planned. However, I want to make sure the build up to it is executed perfectly. So when we get to it, it all hits that much harder and destroys your day that much more ;D

Currently, the road map is this first massive update, the second shorter, but emotional hitting update, before we get to this arcs climax Animatic. After that, we’ll get the premiere for Missingno.’s Arc and boy howdy will it be a doozy in and of itself that includes voice acting, music, and a questionable edited motion comic for the big reveal portion.

I promise ya’ll this will be worth the agonizing wait, I’ve been planning this for so long I will be damned if I mess it up now X3

Okay thank you, that’s been my PSA ;3

[seeminglydark]

good news! i finally got a job after being unemployed for a few years. it’ll be at least a year or two before i’m able to move out due to trying to pay off my credit card debt but i’m excited that i’ll be able to leave town and get away from unsupportive family. i’m trying to spend as little money as possible on entertainment stuff and i have a massive book collection that i’m excited to read and sell some of it i don’t feel like i need them anymore. you’re comics have been very helpful for me to be able to understand and express myself. it has given me a lot of joy since finding it especially after the loss of my cat a month ago.

any tips for a queer punk trying to escape and start over with no support system?

happy pride month! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

ANON! I'm so proud of you, thats incredible! i am wishing you all the best on your journey forward and out. it sounds to me like you already have a good handle on things, paying down your debt is a great place to start. depending on how much debt you have, (most of my advice is US based I'm afraid, since thats where i grew up as a poor lonely punk so hopefully it can help you, or someone else) you may be able to find a financial counselor or coach, (not adviser!) to help you get rid of some of it immediately. there are ways to 'challenge' things on your credit that have been there for a while, and many times the creditors will either drop it cuz they dont want to deal with paperwork, or reduce it to a much smaller payable sum because to them something is better than nothing. a lot of cities has free nonprofit programs to help with this, and other non profit organizations offer them as well depending on your community. This will also help improve and build your credit score cuz even a punk might need to buy a home or rent an apartment one day.

i know there is an allure to big name cities when you move, i lived in one myself while poor as dirt and it kinda sucked (Austin tx specifically) because it was so expensive. look into where you want to go before moving there, look at cost of living, and public transit, things like that. it looks like youre waiting a while before going, look into job transfers so you might not have to start completely fresh from the bottom.

thrift stores are great but they are getting more expensive by the year, but when youre a poor guy in a new place, dumpster diving might be an option. please dont ever get a mattress from a dumpster ok? bedbugs are a thing and often why those are thrown out, but other things like tables, chairs, shelves etc. check your local papers and neighborhood boards, sometimes hotels and such renovate and when they do they auction furniture off dirt cheap. Thanks Mr Marriott for furnishing my house for like 40 bucks in 2005!

When you move out, if you are still struggling financially, you can look into fixed rent apartments, you usually have to get on a list, but there are places out there to help you get on your feet. a REALLY good resource for many things if going to be your local library. librarians are like gods and they know SO MUCH that can help you.

speaking of libraries. you do deserve a little joy, i would think about perhaps getting a electronic reader, did you know that you can rent books and audio books from libraries with one? plus it reduces the bulk of books you may have to move later. i know the vibe is different from getting to touch the pages, but the pleasure of reading is still there. The library is also going to be a great place to meet people and find a circle of support and new friends. many of them have clubs and community activities ranging from book clubs to everything in between, you can even suggest a club yourself that they might consider hosting. don't deprive yourself of happiness, itll be helpful on the days when it gets hard to move forward.

its been a hot minute since i was alone and starting over, and things have changed a lot so im not completely sure all of this is still relevant, library is ALWAYS a good place to start. if my followers have any advice, please feel free to chime in the comments as well! im so proud of you anon, and keep us updated as life goes on. <3

[thrashkink-coven]

Being a Luciferian that originated on the right side and still works with Archangel Michael and others is such a trip sometimes. Michael is so fucking intimidating all the time. Like, I know we’re cool, but lord forfuckingbid we ever aren’t. He’s extremely kind and gentle but oh so fucking authoritative and powerful. Like you can just feel it stinging off of his eyes, you know how much strength he has and how willing he is to use it if necessary. The thing i love so much about the myth of Michael and Satan is that he was said to have been far weaker than Satan in fighting prowess, but his loyalty to God made him the victor in the end. So fucking cool and scary and COOL. The idea of a soldier so fucking committed to his crown that he will fight until death to honour his God is amazing.

(my) Lucifer and Michael have absolutely no problems with each other, although Michael is always very disciplined, committed to his purpose and doesn’t entertain any none sense, he still seems to appreciate something about Lucifer. He is a guardian of truth and light, regardless of what name it holds. He appreciates Lucifer’s affinity for knowledge, but knows very well that his knowledge can be used for destruction and “evil”. He knows that Lucifer has an incredibly important role to play, but that doesn’t mean he’ll entertain any of the shenanigans that come with it. In fact, he’s dedicated to managing those shenanigans so we can all enjoy the positive aspects of Lucifer’s light. Thanks, Michael.

I only really call upon Michael if I need some serious help with cleansing or protection. He’s the guy to call if you need to be kicked in the ass, staring a new and daunting project, trying to get fit. He is damn efficient at what he does and he doesn’t stop short. If you call upon Michael you better be damn prepared to get what you asked for.

As a Luciferian that embraces the left hand path I’ve always felt as though Michael looked at me as someone he always wants the best for, but he also may disagree with some of my methods. He’s never considered or treated me like I was one of those evils to be vanquished, but rather, he knows very well what ways I could improve myself and would purify me if he was given the opportunity. But he’s also aware of the inherent flaws of humanity and doesn’t force us to improve unless we ask him to.

In some hypothetical scenario where Lucifer and I broke up (don’t tell him I said this) Michael would definitely be the guy I’d call on for help. i appreciate him a lot and I am very grateful for all that he has ever helped me with. I love the role he plays as the ultimate older brother of all the other angels. He watches over them and ensures that they’re safe at all times. Ready and happy to lead his family towards truth and light.

I’m very happy he doesn’t hate me lol. It’s something I worried about a lot as a kid, but when I finally got the opportunity to get to know him I learned that he doesn’t really hate anyone. He’s so much more than just an angel to carry out violence against his unjust siblings, in fact I’d say that’s one of his least proud roles, something he doesn’t really enjoy doing. He is a protector of children and a reminder that strength should always be used to help those without it.

plus, in one of the only dreams I’ve ever had about him, his armor was magnificent. Michael is probably one of those dudes that you absolutely should not lust over but… he looked real good just saying.

[symptomsofdeceit]

STRAWBERRYYYY IM SO GLAD SYMPTOMS OF DECEIT IS TAKING OFF YAYAYAY youve gotten so much fanart and so many asks omg!!!!! u totally deserve it im so proud to call myself one of the very first og symptoms of deceit fans….. love thaumo forever also nalis is there too — @chercookue

EDEN!!!! 🪼💕💥💥🎆🎇💕💕💥💥🎆🎇

I’ve been super surprised by how much there is!! It’s been so fun to see & I’m so so happy that people are enjoying my project. I think it’s more than I deserve with my current skill level 😅 but I’m excited to keep working on improving my project & making it better!

Thank you so much for your support all this time, it’s really meant so so much to me!! I’m more than proud & grateful to have you as one of the first people who took an interest in my game 💕💕

[ros3ybabe]

Life Update After a Few Days: October 18th, 2023 🎀

I’ve been a little busy with school, work, resting, and starting my workout routine back up, so here’s a little update!

I’m getting a tattoo soon! I know the aesthetic of my blog is pink and girly and coquette and I love everything that comes with the aesthetic and the lifestyle but I have an affinity for gothic style/spooky tattoos, so I’m getting a decent sized spider tattoo on my right thigh and I’m super excited! This is the first big ish sized tattoo besides the two small ones I have, and it’s the first tattoo appointment I’ve ever made so I’m really excited. A little anxious, especially for the shading portion of it, but I’m looking forward to how good it’s going to look when it’s finished and how much more confident it’s going to make me!

I’ve started working out at the gym again! My current schedule is three days of weightlifting (pull day, leg day, push day), and two days of just cardio. It feels so nice both mentally and physically to be taking care of myself like this again. I even bought some new workout shorts and gym clothes and I’m feeling better than ever! I’m focusing on improving my mental health right now and working out is doing wonders for me!

I’m working so much right now, but it’s worth it because I need the money for rent, tattoos, gym stuff, groceries, and whatever other necessities and wants pop up. I’m pulling doubles most Saturdays and it’s a little tiresome and energy draining but I’m managing pretty well. I won’t pull doubles every Saturday tho because that drives me straight into burnout and I’m trying to avoid that.

I hit 31 days on Duolingo and I’m at 28 days on Busuu, super proud of myself for keeping up with those two goals for now! I’m still working through the first two lessons of Genki and I’m still using the Kanji app but my studying has been a little bit more spread out because of my busy schedule. I’m trying to learn how to better balance multiple things without hyperfixating on just one and forgetting about everything else. I’ve noticed I tend to do that and that’s not the most productive thing for me.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I spent a lot of money on stuff from Amazon (and Ulta) and most of it is here already besides the last couple Amazon items coming in today! I love the workout clothes I bought and the fitness/health tracker planner I bought is really interesting. I also got my language tracking bullet journal stuff in the mail so I am super looking forward to starting that up soon. Again, I noticed I tend to hyperfixate on one thing at a time but right now I’m trying to balance all my interests and things I need to do. My current “balance breakup” is: fitness/nutrition, Japanese language study, school/classes and academic success, work/making money, self care (sleep, skincare, reading, journaling, etc), boyfriend time, appointments, and chores/cleaning/housework. Sounds like a lot but there’s 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week. Not everything has to be done in one day and as long as I manage my time efficiently, then I’ll be successful. I also try to take into account my energy levels, daily tasks, possible “curveballs”, and my current physical and mental/emotional well being. Flexibility is a must in my life but I do like having routines and things to stick to, plan and schedule wise.

I’ve been working on some posts ideas for this blog so it’s not just daily updates and stuff, but actual tips, advice, and my current routines and schedules too, to maybe help motivate and inspire you guys! I have some things in mind currently, so hopefully I can find the time to type them up and post them!

Thank you guys for 850+ followers! I never thought my blog could grow like this and I’m super happy it has! This community has given me such a safe and comforting place where I can just be myself without worry. I appreciate all of you so much!! I hope all of you have amazing days, amazing sleep, amazing skin, amazing grades, and that life is going great for all of you!

that’s pretty much all I have to update you on for now. I will be posting a Daily Check In tonight about how today went as well, to help me get back on track with posting!

til next time, lovelies 🩷🤍

[undreaming-fanfiction]

With This Ring (1)

Also posting here if you want to avoid Ao3 for some reason :) A Corpse Bride Steddie AU you didn't know you needed. Steddie Big Bang 2023 - project 202, brought to you by myself and two wonderful artists, @yellowsweater-bluevest and @mcdadarts.

"So...a big day tomorrow?" 

Steve didn't even look up from the piano. He just chuckled, a mixture of bitterness and amusement that felt like his personal brand, a perfect description of his life. His fingers were moving over the keyboard in natural, long practiced strokes. "Something like that," he said. 

He noticed movement on his left as Robin walked to the window to check the blinds, to make sure they shielded her and Steve from any and all unwanted attention. It didn't matter that the only thing they could see were the woods around Robin's house, Hawkins had eyes everywhere. 

The shuffling finally quieted down and Robin leaned against Steve, patting his shoulder. “You’ve really improved, you know that? You’re much better than me now and the hesitation you had a few months back is gone. I don’t give praise just to anyone, but you should be proud.” She smelled like dried flowers and Steve huffed out a quiet laugh. Just like Robin to act all tough and snarky but keep all the flowers that she was given. 

“Thanks. Both for the praise and for letting me practice here.” He didn’t add that she might as well have been the only person who appreciated his playing, who saw how much it meant to him. Or that if his father knew about his hobby, he would have likely smashed the piano to pieces and if one or two of Steve’s fingers happened to be collateral damage, well. Two birds, one stone. Instead, he slowly brought his hands into a coda and stilled his fingers, let the melody linger in the air for a bit longer. “When is she coming?” 

Robin checked her watch and blushed, much to Steve’s amusement. “Any minute now.” 

“You know you have nothing to be nervous about, right?” When she didn’t respond, he nudged her side one, two times, until she wheezed and grasped his fingers. “It’s not like you have that stupid rehearsal tomorrow. And everything will go,” he straightened his spine, adopting a stern expression very closely mimicking his father, “according to plan.” 

That finally made her chuckle and relax. “And what a plan that is! Fantastic, magnificent, absolutely riveting. And if someone decides to show up, we’ll just finalize the details-”

The bell rang, stopping her rambling. Robin immediately left his side, almost skipping to the door as Steve watched her go, trying to fix her hair in the process. He felt a strange pull in his heart – he used to think it was jealousy, but now he finally knew what it was. Yearning. Seeing someone so happy, he thought that maybe one day, when all of this was over, maybe then- 

Once they made sure the door was closed, Nancy greeted Robin with a gentle peck on her lips and made her way into the living room. “Hi Steve. Ready for the big day?”

He laughed as he squeezed her hand in greeting. “Oh, absolutely, can’t wait to practice my vows and see both our families rejoice at the flawless performance.” 

“Steve, your sarcasm is showing.” Nancy rolled her eyes, but her smile betrayed the pretend annoyance. 

“Oh, is it? Sorry.” His fingers returned to the keyboard, grazing their surface. “Anyway, you have a date to get to and I’m here to provide an alibi. Would you like your favorite song to kick it off?” 

Before Nancy could react, Robin gently moved her to the side, hands on her hips, and cleared her throat. “Sure she wants to hear it. We’ve been practicing all day for the big occasion, right, Steve?” 

His laughter gradually faded into the well-known melody and he found himself humming along as Robin sang with all the dramatics and passion she could muster:

“Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

And don't tell Steve, but I'm not getting married today”

Steve Harrington’s life was perfect, that’s what everyone kept telling him. 

“The perfect house”, they scoffed as they peered into his living room, seeing the pristine carpets, the shiny displays of expensive statuettes and framed pictures. Of course they could afford housekeeping, of course they had the prettiest flowers in their garden – planted, watered and maintained in their perfection by a professional gardener. Of course Mrs. Harrington never allowed something as mundane and dirty as soil near her manicured nails. That was the image she always portrayed, even if Steve sometimes saw her watching the wilting leaves, her fingers reaching out before quickly withdrawing. 

“The perfect family”, they muttered as they observed the Harringtons leaving for yet another gala, another social function that allowed them to flaunt their wealth, their status. They were a sight to behold - the patriarch of the family, Richard Harrington, with his strong jaw, cold eyes and practiced booming laughter, the trophy wife, Mary Harrington, and her platinum blonde hair in stiff locks, the most expensive jewelry and effortless mingling...and Steve. The golden child Steve Harrington, the boy who could easily charm and entertain, who enchanted many a heart in his high school years, the boy who excelled in sports and took a junior position in his father’s company after school to prove himself. Perfectly respectful, maybe a bit of a rascal, but boys will be boys, they said. 

“The perfect future,” they spat out as they saw Steve leaving his father’s office, that charming smile plastered on his face, oblivious to the worries of common people. How far would anyone else have gotten if they had private sessions with Mr. Harrington, explaining to them the intricacies of their business? But of course, the boy did not understand how lucky he was. 

It was only natural for the perfect boy, now a young man, to have a perfect wife too. And how fortunate that there was a family in their town of Hawkins that fit the Harrington criteria – a traditional father, on the right side of the political spectrum, of course, a housewife with just enough brains to be charming but not too much, not to overshadow her older husband, and three kids. Not all of them agreeable, but the eldest daughter was bright, polite and while she was a bit too ambitious for Mr. Harrington’s liking, time and family focus would fix that small problem. Mr. Harrington believed that all problems have solutions.

Steve tried to follow the plan. He and Nancy Wheeler went to school together and it only seemed right that they eventually started dating, a studious, presentable girl and a popular jock. They did it all, romantic dates, parties – but not too many, just enough to remain the golden couple, family dinners and grand plans for their future...that is, until they broke up. 

He should have seen it coming. Their relationship had been on the rocks ever since Nancy’s best friend Barb accidentally slipped and drowned in the Harrington family pool during one of those rare parties. He’d tried to be there for Nancy, begged her to tell him what she needed, but as time dragged on, it became obvious that she didn’t know what would ease her pain. She was only sure of one thing - it wasn’t him. 

It was fine. He was hurt, of course, he blamed himself, tried to fix whatever was wrong with him, but in the end accepted it – he had to, especially after he skipped the second period and saw Nancy in an empty classroom, lips glued to a girl from his class, the passion so foreign, so different from what she used to be like with him. And even though the pain would not go away, not fully, the fear in their eyes and the instant jolt that made them leave each other’s arms, it made him understand. He just smiled at them and mentioned an empty service bathroom that would perhaps be safer, more discreet. 

It should have ended there – Steve informing his parents of their break-up, losing his first love but gaining two friendships at once. It seemed like a good trade to him, better than he thought he’d have. Perhaps he would meet another girl one day, one his father would approve of. But when Richard Harrington scoffed and said, “as if love had anything to do with marriage”, something cold settled in Steve’s stomach, something that felt awfully a lot like helplessness. His father decided what was best for him, without knowing him at all, his life a mere extension of the Harrington legacy.

Months of pleading led nowhere, and so did the reasoning, bargaining...Richard Harrington wouldn’t budge, and neither would Ted Wheeler. It would have been better for Steve to just leave, to live his own life elsewhere, but...

But Nancy had a bright future ahead of her. She was his friend and so was Robin, the second half of his soul he’d never known he was missing. So he made a deal with himself – he would stall the wedding, give just enough to keep his father if not happy, then at least satisfied, and give Nancy enough time to reach her eighteenth birthday, secretly apply for college just like Robin and Nancy and once the two of them were out, safe and out of reach of the town’s and their families’ bigotry, he would focus on himself. Maybe he’d move out and disappear, just like the girls would. Or he’d stay and face the music, living his own life to spite his father. 

So many options, so little time. 

And that was why he was currently at the piano, his fingers moving as if they had a mind of their own, producing melodies that felt like a second nature to him, the familiarity equally sweet and painful. He might have lost the first love of his life, but along with gaining a soulmate and a good friend, he’d rediscovered a part of himself that he’d never thought he would ever dare to pursue again – music. 

Ever since he was little, Steve Harrington had loved music. From the sweet tone of his mother’s voice singing him to sleep, before the golden cage trapped her in more ways than one, to gentle strumming of a guitar coming from the woods, from kids that were free in ways he would never taste. He would never be allowed to join a band, that would tarnish his reputation, that and the one of his family, to stoop to being a public spectacle. But they couldn’t always control him, the school became his refuge, long before his King Steve persona, long before he had his heart broken and glued back together. The school was a place where he could be himself, at least partially. It was ironic, the building most of his peers hated became his favorite spot in Hawkins. And in it, the musical room and a piano, a beautiful instrument that could weave any emotion into its tones – melancholy, love, hope. It was complex and perfect for Steve. 

Complex and perfect…just like the boy that he saw once at the piano. It didn’t matter that he was wearing shabby clothes, too big for him, that he had the ugliest buzzcut and that there was a fresh bruise on his cheek. His long and gangly limbs hardly fit on the small stool in front of the piano, but Steve couldn’t stop watching his hands, the thin and elegant fingers flowing like water. 

Steve was mesmerized. He could have watched the boy play for hours, letting those beautiful tones wash over him, but then he took a breath that was too deep, too audible, and the boy froze. He looked like a cornered animal, jumping up to distance himself from the piano and knocking his knee on the bottom of the keyboard. And Steve hated himself for laughing, he really did, but he just couldn’t understand how someone could go from graceful to a ragdoll in two seconds. As the boy mumbled nervous apologies and rubbed his knee, Steve stopped him, taking a step closer. 

“That was amazing. Really, really amazing. Could you maybe…could you show me? The basics? If you’re not busy.”

It turned out that the boy’s name was Eddie and he wasn’t busy. He had plenty of time between classes, during lunch breaks. Being the new kid, and the new poor kid from a trailer park on top of that…that was a death sentence in Hawkins Middle School. Steve had learned so much about Eddie during their lessons – he would bring lunch, they’d eat together in the music room and chat about anything and everything. Eddie told him how he moved in with his uncle Wayne, how he felt like a burden and never wanted him to worry so he hid his bruises and kept out of harm’s way, kept out of sight and out of trouble. He said his mom used to play a lot in bars when he was a kid, took him with her and taught him whenever she could, staying longer and longer, maybe hoping that if they stayed past midnight, his father would get bored, turn to whatever alcohol he managed to steal that day and fall asleep before they got back. It didn’t always work, but hey, it was worth a shot. And Eddie was a fast learner. 

But he never had to hide from Wayne Munson, and if Steve had ever experienced warmth and understanding, it was from Eddie and his uncle. The man seemed older than he was, balding and with a face full of lines, but underneath his gruff exterior was a heart of pure gold. They didn’t have much, but he always prepared a quick meal for Steve and Eddie when they got too immersed in their dreams of music and grand future. He’d pat Steve’s shoulder and ask him about school, likes and dislikes, his goals and dreams. 

Eddie had dreams too, he wanted to leave Hawkins and play music, no matter what the form would be. Not just covers too, but his own songs and tunes. He loved all kinds of instruments, guitar mostly, but piano had always been his comfort. He played snippets of melodies for Steve that he composed himself, often asking for Steve’s feedback, for his ideas. Whenever that happened, Steve’s chest tightened and he felt a strange fluttering. Someone found him worthy of voicing his opinion. Someone asked him for it. For the first time in his life, he felt heard. He felt like a separate person from his family, from the expectations. In that music room, it wasn’t Steve Harrington, the golden boy of the Harrington family, and Eddie Munson, the neglected trailer trash. They were just Steve and Eddie, bonded over their love for music. 

And then it ended, like all good things do. 

Steve stopped seeing Eddie and they passed each other in the hallways of the Hawkins High, all blatant disregard and secret glances. Eddie’s hair had grown long and wild, he became loud and unapologetic. His instrument of choice became a guitar, he got held back once while Steve graduated. They moved in separate circles now, Steve focusing on sports and finding a part-time job, Eddie fully embracing being the town freak and then eventually leaving, disappearing one day without saying a word to anyone. Just as it was always meant to be, that’s what his father used to say.

Steve Harrington never meant to play the piano again, although he longed for the ghost of the touch of smooth and cool keys. He’d locked those desires deep inside himself, burying them along with the one friendship that used to mean everything. 

Until Robin Buckley came along. 

Robin’s family was fond of music and proud of it. Their collection of instruments was enormous and the first time Steve visited her house with Nancy under the pretense of meeting his girlfriend’s best friend, well, new best friend after Barb Holland had met her tragic fate, Steve found himself staring at their piano. The shard in his heart came loose and the longing was too much, too dangerous. 

But Robin saw him, of course she did. She gently took his hand and led him to the piano, sitting him down. “Are you going to be okay by yourself here?” she asked him and maybe the gentle press of his fingers against the keys was enough of an answer. The window next to the piano led into the woods outside of Hawkins and so did Robin’s, with plaid curtains that protected their exploring kisses and touches from unwanted eyes, all that while Steve found himself again in the familiar melodies and the memory of a boy with a buzzcut. 

In the quiet of the Buckley house, all three of them could be themselves.

Please see the beautiful art for this chapter by Moon Arin HERE!

Chapter 2

[percyscart]

Hello! I wanted to say that I really love your stories and that they bring me so much joy!

Your works have been so much of an inspiration for me to do what I do and I really want to say thank you for that.

I'd like to ask, what advice would you give for new artists who are interested in opening their own art shop one day?

Aww, I’m really happy and honoured to hear that!

As for advice, here are some things I would have told myself when I was starting, everything is subjective and depends on the individual so do take it with a pinch of salt!

1. Start small!

It’s tempting to make large quantity orders because some manufacturers provide bigger discounts, but it’s very risky at the beginning because you don’t know what will sell. I personally rather sell out than have large stock that takes ages to sell preventing me from trying new things since you learn and change a lot at the start!

2. Draw what you love, not what is trendy or popular (eg drawing characters/relationships you love vs popular characters)

Personally, things that I draw out of love and inspiration are those that not only am I more proud of, but also sells better. If you’re passionate about it, it’s likely there’s people out there who are as passionate, and that’s where you find your niche and audience. Additionally, popular characters will most likely have well-known artists that draw for them already, so it’s difficult to breakthrough if you’re not passionate about it. If what you love overlaps with what’s trendy/popular, that’s fine!

3. Use social media wisely!

It’s the most useful but tiring tool to use. If people don’t see your stuff, they won’t know it’s out there, but don’t be too focused on numbers! Low numbers does not mean rejection, high numbers do not mean success. I’ve had plenty of reels/tiktoks with have high views and engagement that do not reflect the sales number. Don’t take data personally, consider it more as food for thought.

“why did this artwork not resonate with people? how can i improve it/showcase it better?” “why did this artwork (yours or others) resonate with people? how can i emulate this more?”

On the same note, photos/videos of your products always need to have good lighting! Sun and your phone camera is enough to start with. I recently enjoy taking photos holding my stuff against greenery.

These are some smaller thoughts:

- Try to post tiktoks only after your items are available to order (unless you’re just gauging market). I’ve had a video go viral (1m+ views) long before it was available online and when I did release it online, most people didn’t see it because that’s just how tiktok algorithm works :’) your followers are less likely to see your stuff, compared to twt/insta, imo.

- Many of my first customers became returning customers, so do ensure you treat your packages with care so they have a good experience! (i personally prepare thank you cards hehe)

- Keep packaging minimal so they are lighter and less waste. Additionally, I’ve started using less flashy packaging (brown instead of coloured) because I’ve heard coloured ones may be at risk of theft (unconfirmed). I keep decorative packaging inside only.

All the best to your endeavors!