#I’m so mad that the serial is lost

[fritzmonorail]

Here I go.

[fullofgutsndopamine]

What’re You After (Some Sort Of Disaster)

previous more

or: you and hasan are rivals for trivia night. Until one day, you come up with a plan.

TW/ cursing, drinking, dick jokes.

yes my trivia team did lose to this question last week and yes, i’m still mad about it

Sarah slams her elephant down with such force that you worry the cheap dollar tree glass elephant will break and send you all on another trip to muitlple stores for a new good luck charm.

it wouldn’t be the first time.

You groan and crumble up the paper and throw it in the middle of the table into a half eaten plate of french fries.

Annie speaks first, “what kind of fucking nerds don’t know stranger things is a tv show set in the 80’s but does know the year our town was founded in.”

“they have to be cheating,” sarah says, “there’s just no way.”

“you all are bitching but you aren’t the asshole who has to go get a drink with our literal enemies.” you groan, rubbing your temple, a headache on the horizon.

Annie, “i’ll buy your drink, at least. and if he’s a gentleman, he’ll buy you another one. Make it a little less painful. think of it as a mission for us, y’know? to get more intel.”

“you can take my elephant for good luck!” Sarah smiles and takes your hand, presses it gently into the middle of your palm like it’s some family heirloom passed on and on.

“Good luck won’t help if he’s a serial killer.” you grumble, turning in your seat to look at his table again, a final glare, “or a dick.”

“which one is the worst, though?” Annie indulges as she digs through her purse.

you’re half listening.

hasan is the odd one out of the group, you see this now.

while the rest of the group is hugging, shoulders touching, heads pulled in close, he stands just outside the circle.

you wouldn’t be able to see it if you weren’t looking directly for it, but something about it makes you think of him in middle school, a mop of messy, curly hair on top of his head, large crooked glasses on the brim of his nose-telling these random facts he has to other class mates so excitedly through broken teeth and then rolling their eyes or ignoring him is so vivid in your head you have to turn away before you start feeling bad for him or something.

“what if,” you finally hear Sarah’s voice again, “you end up having an amazing first date and this is the story we end up telling your children.”

she giggles and Annie laughs so hard people crane their neck to look.

“he wishes,” you snort, “he’s going to be pretentious, i can already tell.”

“He’s on his way,” Sarah points her chin up at him, “remember: her all the information out of him you can-“

“and call us as soon as it’s over-“ Annie adds, and Sarah interrupts her again, a never ending thing, “and turn your location on so we know where to look for your body at!”

you groan, taking your phone out to do so, just as hasan appears at your side.

“Well, it was a good effort today, guys.” he smiles as he rests his hands on the table, “i had no idea that song was from a theme song-“

“of course you didn’t.” Annie huffs under her breath, an eye roll.

“sorry, what was that?” he says it with such a genuine smile and lean in you half believe him until you see the smirk on his lips.

“N-nothing. We best be going,” Annie stands, pulls Sarah up, “You have drinks to get anyways. we lost, and all. you two have fun and be safe!” and she’s pulling her out so quick Sarah barely has time to grab her purse as she’s yelling over her shoulder: “don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!”

you groan and he turns just in time to see your red face.

“one drink,” he smiles, “c’mon. that’s it, i won’t make it too painful. i promise.” and he holds out his pinky in the air, actually waits for you to hook yours around his and shake.

“lead the way.” he smiles and acts like he doesn’t see your red face as you lead out of the room and weave in and out of people.

for a second, you think you lost him. he’s so fucking tall it’s hard to lose him, and he weaves in and out to the bar with you with such practiced ease, his hand hovers over the small of your back as you get to the bar, order your drink, add a casual: “and whatever he wants.”

he takes it well, leans in with an eye roll to the bartender and orders, slides him his debit card so quickly it’s hard to see for a second as he slides into the seat next to you.

“you bastard,” you gasp, “i’m suppose to buy your drink.”

he laughs, “it feels wrong making you buy my drink after losing too. like adding salt to a wound or something.”

you sigh, and he cuts you off before you can speak again, a gentle elbow to your arm, “you all did much better this game. it was close.”

“you’re just saying that.” you huff.

“so what if i am?” he teases back, “it doesn’t matter. besides, only nerds know what year the town was founded in. you all probably had much better to do than look into the towns history.”

something about that borders on sad, leaves a bad taste in your mouth like you want him to elaborate, you wonder how many nights he spent alone, books his only companion, finding solace or some sense of community into looking at the towns history-

“if you tell me you’re wearing an ear piece or you have an inside guy, i promise i won’t tell my friends.”

it’s half a joke, and you say it with a smile in hopes he knows and it earns a laugh out of him, one you haven’t heard before, loud and happy and free as he throws his head back and claps.

when he sits up straight he leans in closer to you, and you can smell his cologne, or maybe his aftershave, but you refuse to let yourself think too much on it, and he moves his curly hair behind both of his ears theatrically, “no ear pierce, i’m afraid. just a kid who spent a lot of time in libraries.”

“not the sob story,” you half tease with a groan as a beer is placed in your hands, “i’m not nearly drunk enough. if you start crying, i’ll start crying. and fair warning, i’m a crying drunk.”

he snorts as he lifts the lip of the beer bottle to his lips, lets it rest momentarily, “noted. i’ll cut you off far before then, i promise.”

you snort back, hold your bottle in the air: “to your win.”

a smirk finds it’s way on his lips, “to new friendship,” and before you can say anything back he clinks his glass with yours gently and downs it.

“c’mon,” you finally say after the burn of the alcohol settles in your chest, “i know a quieter place.”

“lead the way.” he smiles back, offers his hand and you roll your eyes back at him but your hand finds it’s way on top of his, gently cupping around his and you pull him through the crowd.

[mycatsaidwhat]

things i've heard college professors say pt. 15

-type “humpty dumpty sat on a wall humpty dumpty had a great fall” with no spaces and no regrets 

-I sincerely don’t sit around reading the wills of people from 16th century Stratford-upon-Avon

-do we have a federal department of education? *reluctantly* yes we do 

-okay. It’s 10:30 and I’m cold and mad. 

-I was assigned to read Macbeth and was like what the fuck, I want to play Nintendo 

-That sounds like something said by someone who wrote 12 historyplays 

-I googled today, which I really suggest you guys do 

-not to bring up florida,

-current event: balloons!

-(cytogeneticist) I make a lot of money saying I don’t know. It’s a pretty sweet gig.  

-*someone comes into the classroom looking lost* is there a meeting in here at 11?

(professor) no i don’t think so, this class goes until 11:30

*person leaves* 

(professor, turning back to the class) probably a serial killer 

-Yeah, and then Shakespeare was like I never fucking loved you– 

-The three typical sources of creative nonfiction essays are the unconscious mind, literature, or the trauma of our lives. Now none of these are technically untrue–

-you don’t have to be smart to understand Shakespeare

*alarm starts going off on student’s phone* 

OH GOD I’M SORRY IM BEING SMITED 

-“In which the men spend several hours taunting each other with speeches and thwacking each other with sticks.” Yes. That sounds perfect. 

-This is, like, nerdy shit I’ve learned over the years 

[t3acupz]

I didn't know there was another Hannibal Con! (Everyone said it was awkward, tho but idk 🤷‍♀️)

I actually wasn’t going to watch the panel because I’m on hiatus (got sent to horny jail) but for you, darling, I decided to so I can give you a good answer <333

So the panel was moderated by Rotem Rusak who I think is awesome because anyone that’s been a fan for over a decade now and still wears the flower crowns is an OG in my book. Three minutes in and I’m already feeling the tension in the air. When Rotem mentioned filming season 4, Mads made a sort of sardonic remark about needing work which I think really answers the overarching question about these panels — are they doing it to try to get a season 4 made or are they looking for a quick paycheck and I think the answer is clearly the latter.

I thought the first question was really well thought out and as far as I know, has never been asked before, “Did you have any real life or fictional inspirations for your characters?” Mads’ answer was pretty basic, I thought Hugh’s was really interesting (if only he could remember the scientist’s name lol).

Pretty quickly after that the panel starts taking a downturn. I think it being so long after making the show, Mads has grown tired of romanticizing a cannibal serial killer. He’s seemed exasperated when he said “You think it’s human what he’s doing to Will?” Then he goes on to call Will a friend, a long lost brother. Then he kinda does a jab at the fans for saying that Hannibal’s feelings for Will humanized him more. Honestly, yikes. He knows his audience so I’m not sure why he would imply that there’s something morally wrong with Hannibal fans by retorting, “It says a lot about you guys.”

Hugh saying that he doesn’t think either of them are high on the human scale contradicts one of the main themes of the show. Will is supposed to be our Everyman. He’s our crucible and perspective despite the show technically being about Hannibal. We’re supposed to relate to Will and see his corruption as something that can happen to anyone.

“You’re just going to keep going until we tell you—”

That one threw me. Hugh sounds so done with it all.

As an aside, I was kinda smirking when she asked about either of them succeeding in killing the other because boyyy I live in my Mukōzuke alternate ending daydreams like it’s my second home. I was half hoping he’d say that Will would go on a date with Matthew.

And then Mads called the audience “sick fucks.” Mmmmmm ok sir. I think we’re getting a little too nasty with that language (I cringed).

Hannibal finds a ginger colored hair on Will’s shoulder??? BRO HE SMELLED HIM!! Mads rewatch the show please.

Dammit Hugh, don’t spoil our headcanon that Will wanted to help Hannibal escape because he loved him and missed him.

Finally someone in the audience asked them to kiss which is what I’ve been dying for someone to do since the first panel, and we got our answer “You can’t afford that.”

Look, I get it, they’re just actors. They’re doing a gig for a paycheck. But honestly, the fans have been begging for a hannigram kiss for a decade and here they are on stage together, getting paid (way too much) to haphazardly answer questions about a show that made them famous and one little peck wouldn’t kill them. But that’s the answer folks, if you want them to kiss, you gotta PAY THEM. *sigh*

OH LORD, IT KEEPS GOING….. Now Mads is saying they were never going to actually kiss in twotl. They were just getting egged on by the fans during the filming of season 3 but it was never going to be a legit thing. Gagged.

Hugh being flattered by the fans’ reactions was cute. I think Hannibal is one of those rare shows that resonates with people on the fringes of society, and that makes it so special.

The season 4 question was another major letdown. Nothing about exploring their relationship or where they escaped to. Just some sarcastic remarks. I have to say that not having Bryan Fuller at this panel is such a disappointment. I honestly would rather hear his takes on these questions than Mads and Hugh’s at this point.

Damn, I’d love to have known what Will’s favorite movies or books were but nope, Hugh doesn’t want to think too deeply about that.

Anyway, that seemed to be it for the Hannibal related questions. So in conclusion, was it awkward? Yeah kinda.

[rickgrimeswifey]

Overheard gossip - Spencer Reid

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A/n: When I post this I am an official Spencer Reid slut as this is my first ever written fic about him... part 2 here

Category: Blurb

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Season: 3 

Warnings: Sexual themes, THE EMBARRASSMENT GIRL... I-

Word count: 0.6k

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It was around 1PM, the team was out on a case somewhere in Florida and Penelope was in her room working as usual. Y/n that also was a part of the team didn’t go along for the case, Hotch had told her to stay here since she had been going through some stuff recently. It wasn’t anything too devastating, Y/n was just on edge because her patience and brain wasn’t at their best state. Hotch found her too unstable to go along and investigate this serial killer. This job had drained her and she just needed some time away, at first Y/n was mad at Hotch’s decision but she realizes he just does it out of worry.

Y/n had finished her paperwork and went out to buy some lunch for her and Penelope. Something easy and that’s fast to finish eating. She skipped knocking on Garcias door before entering, she was sitting quietly in her seat searching for something through her computer. Y/n adored the work she did, no one could compare to their Penny.

“I got us something to eat for lunch.” She smiled looking at Penelope who turned to look at her.

“Well aren’t you a dear…” Penelope smiled, not taking her eyes off the screen longer than necessary.

Y/n got a chair to sit on at her friends desk before she spoke up again;

“You know I’ve been thinking about something.” She confessed as she opened up the bags with food and began placing it out on the table in front of her.

“What is that?” Penelope mumbled lost in her work, she was clearly doing something important.

“Have you ever thought about Spencer’s sexlife? I mean for a genius I bet he’d be extremely skilled at eating a girl out, I mean that he’d be a natural or more like supernatural. Or like that his dick would be huge.” Y/n said casually with a smirk on her face before dramatizing the last word.

When she had finished packing up the food she looked at Penelope who was staring at her with her mouth agape, there was something in her eyes. Y/n didn’t know what it was but it looked like panic. Why would she panic by what she’d just said? Y/n was almost positive that Garcia would’ve been someone who agreed with her.

“Are you still there Reid…?” Penelope asked nervously, making Y/n widen her eyes so much that she was afraid they’d pop out of her skull.

There was a cough heard on the phone line before Spencer's almost shaky voice was heard. “Y-Yeah… I’m still h-here Garcia.”

Y/n gasped covering her face with her hands. She felt like she’d die out of embarrassment, had Spencer just heard her say all of those things?

“I found some people that worked at graveyards but were fired in the past five years…” Penelope spoke up after a long painful minute of silence.

“Great! Uhm I’ll call you if I need anything else… b-bye.” Spencer’s voice cracked before he quickly hung up.

Y/n removed her hands from her head and looked Penelope in the eyes. It didn’t take more than a couple of seconds for her to burst out laughing. Y/n frowned while blushing like crazy at Garcias action.

“It’s really not funny at all, I’m never going back to work after this!” She remarked, wanting to sink into the ground and never come back up.

“Well, Y/n L/n you gotta learn to keep your mouth shut when you see that I’m working then.” Penelope laughed like crazy while wiping tears from her eyes.

—————————————————————————————

[mr-downer-2024]

Discourse speedrun time baybee

If you don’t trust strangers on the internet asking for money you’re just a racist cracker. You just gotta trust me bro. After all it’s not like people lie on the internet for money.

This woman boxer from a country that is traditionally conservative to the point of repression must be a man cause her opponent and a has been children’s author said so. Ignore the fact she’s lost before against other female boxers. Also, I don’t watch boxing or any athletic event in general but someone told me to be mad because of the *looks at hand* the sanctity of women’s sports.

Just vote blue bro. Sure I don’t actually like Biden, Harris, or the democrats in general but trump is literally Hitler and project 2025 is totally going to happen even tho most lawmakers think it’s a comical farce. Look man you can totally vote third party in 2028 this is the most important election of our lives since the last one! Yes I identify as a hardcore socialist why do you ask?

I know Trump is little more than a demagogue who identified as a democrat all his life until he decided to run for office, and yeah he’s a corrupt business and a serial adulterer and an actual sexual predator who paid hush money, but like, liberals man! They’re ruining our country by giving people the freedom to marry who they want and like, wanting universal healthcare! That’s why I gotta vote for Trump he’ll preserve our traditional values and make America great again!

Sure I’m worried about the rising tide of hate crimes and physically can’t defend myself against a humming bird, but I’ll be damned if I pickup a gun! Those kill people you know?

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

More JJBA Batman AU 🦇

Risotto as Deathstroke? (He’s an assassin after all)

Ghiaccio is Mister Freeze (I honestly cry for Mister Freeze because he’s doing all his crimes out of love to cure his sick wife)

Either Prosciutto or Sports Maxx works as Solomon Grundy (And he just keeps coming back from the grave) to be honest I don’t really understand this villain too well except he pulls a Jason Voorhees and keeps coming back (Maybe Prosciutto since I’m more familiar with him that Sports Maxx)

Cioccolata honestly fits being Scarecrow because of his cruel experiments he puts on people and had a rivalry with Darling (Though it was one-sided as Darling thought something was very off about Cioccolata as she found his tests on the inmates too ‘cruel’ and was the one who reported and got him fired after she found out what he’s been really doing to the inmates)

You know what? Drama between Darling and Cioccolata would make it interesting as he put at hit on Darling and now she has to hide and gets in witness protection until Cioccolata is found and taken into custody (Darling only wanted to help the inmates get better while Cioccolata only saw the inmates as mere Guinea Pigs for his experiments) so the Joestars allow her to live in their manor to protect her until Cioccolata is put into custody (Meaning she can’t work or do her job until he’s caught which upsets her patients as they’re very angry not seeing their Therapist)

Kira is either the Riddler or Mad Hatter (He’s very delusional thinking he could have a ‘normal’ life since he’s a serial killer so maybe Mad Hatter works?) He’s trying to look for his ‘Alice’ and has been on a murder spree, with his latest victims almost being Shinobu and Hayato but the Joestars as Batman was able to stop him before it was too late as they’re blissfully unaware of the horror of Kira

Esidesi is Clayface (He could be a model/actor if you want because all the Pillarmen are stupid pretty) but could only score in B Horror Films and starting taking a special experimental cream from a shady company that promised him Stardom as it can allow him to reshape his face and appearance (They’re willing to give him the stuff but he has to pull a few crimes for them) only to become addicted to the stuff until an accident where his whole body was submerged and mutated from the stuff into a shapeshifting monstrosity known as ‘Clayface’ (He and Kars are friends)

Santana is Killer Croc (I thought Killer Croc would work with Santana because he appears more animalistic and primitive compared to his fellow Pillarmen in both speech and behavior) but he and Esidisi can switch if you want because Santana as Clayface sounds fine too

This list might be wrong (I haven’t seen Batman in a long time plus it’s kinda hard figuring out who fits where) so you can definitely change these if you want (I was having such a hard time figuring out for the other La Squadra characters)

Yep Risotto is definitely deathstroke. Perhaps darling gets caught up in a feud with the Joestars and he's called to kidnap and hold her for a ransom on behalf of someone else. Not his usual job but the pay is good and his schedule's light. They do have a brief talk and she tells him if he ends up in the asylum to put her down as his psych. He's a little weirded out, is she flirting or really wants to dig at him.

Jonathan is horrified by the ransom and is about to pay it before Joesph stops him and opens up another tab with a tracker he put in her purse. He knows she never goes anywhere without it and sure enough they know where it is.

Of course Jonathan asks why he'd done so in the first place.

"This was bound to happen eventually, no harm in preparing" he tells him.

Ghiaccio has been doing everything he can to save his loved ones life (could be a partner or a close relative) he's lost everything in his pursuit of finding a cure and has turned to crime to sustain his research.

Eventually he's caught and is extremely aggressive. He can't get locked up, not when he's so close to a cure.

He confrontational but when darling is able to figure out what's going on she tries to offer him help when she can. Gets that loved one visitation rights and eventually when they do die she's able to get him a livestream of the funeral.

It sucks but he understands that that was the best she could do, she didn't even need to do that at all but she did. She's helping him process all of this, seems to be the only one who really understands him now.

[Bitch (me) has not made a Cioccolata banner yet]

I don't really know much about Maxx so I'll probably but Prosciutto (or Prosciutto could be the Penguin so I'll cover that in the next ask. I just think it suits his sharp and sophisticated personality)

Scarecrow Cioccolata works to well, he was the asylums most valuable worker until the reforms under Jonathan's request. Then darling came along. His methods were a lot more experimental, he got the information he wanted but it was of haphazard quality compared to hers. He has the knowledge but lacks the compassion. Of course when she finds out all the horrible things he's done she reports him and he gets fired and investigated. He ends up going missing, everyone assumes he ran away before he could get charged with anything.

Then she gets a package at her door. It releases a gas and she begins to have horrible hallucinations. Eventually she comes back to in the police station. Turn out the package had a letter too from Cioccolata basically threatening her life. Joesph was actually the one to bring her in after he saw her it that state when he came over to visit, he's covered in bruises and scratches but assures her he knows she didn't mean too.

He offers to help her grab her stuff and let her stay at the mansion until he's caught. His brother's aren't going to mind and there's alot of space.

Melone would be the riddler or clue master... leaning towards riddler. He actually has some personal history with darling. When talking with Ceaser she spots a piece of evidence he was going over and recognizes the hand writing, she tells him to come to hers. When they arrive she grabs out a pretty box, it's her high-school time capsule. She wasn't meant to open it til the ten year reunion but she's opening it now. Grabs out her yearbook and a letter. Turns out Melone is her high school ex. He was kind of a weirdo in high school and she would never have dated him if she had the confidence she has now back then. She cringes at seeing their prom photos.

Melone assumed she'd left after university like she said she would back in high school. If she gets caught up in one of his operations he's definitely going to take the time to talk with her. After all, she's the one who got away.

Ok so I don't know a whole lot about mad hatter but I'm going to try my best. Kira has tried every thing he possibly could to keep his urges in check, including some alternative forms of therapy but nothing worked.

Eventually he deludes himself into believing he's the normal one, everyone else is crazy and he needs to fix that. He's learnt a lot about hypnosis from his past and intends to use that knowledge to fix things.

He's caught after his recent attempted murder, brought into the asylum and darling is asigned to him. He's labeled as a low threat and no one really knows about his hypnosis thing yet. The moment he sees her he knows she's the one and his "thoughts" become very evident to darling. She's immediately out and refuses to work with him, but unfortunately he's only cooperating with her.

Esidisi as clayface works, he can only keep a certain shape for a limited about of time before he melts back into his regular form. He's a real smooth talker. I think Kars would end up breaking him, Wammu and Saitana. Convinces them of his cause, after all they're all proof of man's willingness to mangle the natural order.

[helpimhyperfixating]

*Peeks your hoarder status*

So......... y'all got any of them WIPs? 👀 Tbh, I've always been intrigued by that Android Joots...

The android fic has been a little baby of mine for so so long. And I’m so mad at myself for constantly forgetting about it

I wanna finish it, Dangit 😩

So, I’ve decided to give you all the first scene of meeting Android!Jotaro :3

Is this inspired by DBH? Yes, but it’s my own spin on androids too ^^

The plot of course involves romance and this is just one (long) scene, but have an extended sneak peak:

Word Count: 1562

The doorbell ringing caught your attention.

Putting down your book, you got up and started walking to your door, only to hear the doorbell ringing once more. Calling out a soft ‘I’m coming!’ as you sped up, the doorbell rang again and you furrowed your brow for whoever impatient was standing behind it.

Pulling the door open a little harder than you intended, you glared up. “What?” You asked with a hint of annoyance, only for your eyes to widen.

Looking down at you, face devoid of any emotion, stood an android. Your j.o.e.s.t.a.r. Android. “O-Oh, hello.”

He was wearing the standard android uniform of long-sleeved shirt and pants – the dark coloured version. Simple yet effective. His right sleeve sported the android indicator, as if the glowing light on the left side of his head was not evidence enough.

“Good morning. I am the KJ03, serial number 172941, your new android.”

For a second you just stood there, dumbfounded. His voice was very deep and sounded smooth, making you want to blush. At that being your first thought however, you mentally slapped yourself and jump-started into action.

“Uh, come in, sorry!” You stepped aside and let the door open a little wider, giving him room to get inside.

He didn’t say anything but just got inside, walking through the hall and then stopping in the middle of the room, holding his hands in his pockets as he seemed to just… stop.

After twenty seconds of you just staring at his back and him not moving, you walked up to him and around to in front of him. “Uh, are you alright?”

At this, he finally averted his eyes down to you, looking you over for a second and stopping at your feet before turning around and looking behind himself.

“I apologise, I’ve tracked dirt.” Stepping out of his shoes, he bent down and picked them up, turning back to you. “I’ll clean it.” With that, he walked back to the door and put his shoes in the corner. In the same area as yours but still a bit away - out of the way.

“You don’t have to, you know, honest mistake.” You spoke and you could have sworn you saw his eyes soften for a split second before steeling back into what they were before.

“It is my duty as your android.” He opened the broom closet in the hallway without faltering and took out a dustpan and tin, as if he had always known it was stored there.

Furrowing your brows a bit, you simply looked at him for a bit while he cleaned the few atoms of dirt he had tracked inside, getting lost in your thoughts at the same time.

He was a lot politer and more formal than you would have imagined. But at the same time, every sentence he had said so far seemed a bit strained. As if someone dragged to a party and forced to talk and intermingle with others. Did he not want to talk like that but was he being forced to? Could you do anything to make him more comfortable? Make him change his mind about being formal? He seemed really stubborn, would that even be possible?

“Miss L/N.” His voice speaking up snapped you out of your thoughts and you saw him standing right in front of you, bent down slightly to your height to look directly into you eyes. “I asked if there was something else you wanted me to do.”

“Oh, uh…” You looked around a bit, but honestly, you had no idea what to do with an android. “No, not really, sorry. You can just go do something you like?” You said, unsure, and he hummed, standing upright and going to turn away before you stopped him. “Wait!” At this, he stopped turning and looked back at you.

“Yes?”

“Do you have something I can call you?”

“I am the KJ03. Many abbreviate that to Kujo.” He stated but you frowned.

“Would you want to be called by your model number all your life?”

At this, he fully turned to face you again. “I don’t have a life. I don’t die.” He spoke in a deadpan but his words sent a pang through your heart. “I’m a machine, I don’t need a name, personally - other than what kind of machine I am.”

With that, you already had enough. “Hey!” You pointed a finger right at his face, firmly getting his attention. “Stop talking like that! Just because we have different insides doesn’t mean I can’t care nor that you shouldn’t! I name everything, buddy-boy. From my printer, to my plushies, to my plant over there! That’s Marie by the way.” You angrily pointed to the plant standing in the hallway to your left. “Everything deserves a name, and that definitely includes you.”

He was silent while he looked down at you, his face showing nothing, but a faint yellow light was coming from his emotional indicator on his left temple. You didn’t know what exactly that meant but you’d figure it out later.

“So, I will ask again. Do you have something I can call you? Something that is not your serial number or model, I mean.”

“……” He was silent for a few seconds longer before he opened his mouth again. “You can appoint a name for me, should you so desire.”

“W-Wait?! Me?!!” You called out loudly in response and he flinched back a bit, automatically making you quickly apologise before starting to nervously bounce again. “Why me?” You asked nervously and he cocked his head to the side.

“Did you not just say you name everything?”

You, who was biting you nails while staring mindlessly at his chest, looked up at him at that. “Y-Yeah but those were for silly little things! Does that plant look like a Marie to you?” You said while frantically pointing at the tall plant in the pot to your left.

“It looks like a Dracaena Gold Star.” He simply spoke.

You stuck out your bottom lip in worry, going back to biting your nails.

“Don’t do that.” The android in front of you then pulled your hand away from your face and you took a deep breath. “Just take my model if you are that worried. Kujo is fine.”

“No, other people already call you that! I don’t want to copy! Besides, where does the 3 go in that name?” You put your hands on your hips now, staring intently at the KJ03 model number displayed on his shirt on the left side of his chest. As if that would reveal all the answers.

“Did you know a 3 looks a bit like the Japanese kanji for ‘ro’?” You suddenly questioned after a few seconds of intense staring, but didn’t look up, the android also choosing to remain silent while your mind was just spinning. “So… how about something like Jo…ro… or something? No, that doesn’t sound right, it needs something in the middle.” You were just talking your thoughts out loud now and your eyes drifted over to your plant, making you perk up. “Hey, what kind of plant was Marie again?”

“A Dracaena Gold Star.”

“So! How about, Jostarro…? No, that doesn’t sound right either, I don’t want your name to be your line of design, just slightly spelled different.” You mused. “So, we get rid of the ‘s’. And then the double ‘r’ also makes no sense so we’ll get rid of that one too. Then, we are left with… Jotaro.”

With that, you slowly straightened your back and looked up at his face, still seeing him looking down at you.

“Do you like it?”

He didn’t say anything, though it looked like he was going to open his mouth for a very brief second before being stopped, his emotional indicator flashing orange for a very brief second before going back to the neutral white. “I don’t have to like it. Only you do.”

“Do. You. Like. It? I don’t want to ask again.” You threatened lightly and the android in front of you stared for a second, almost contemplating before he spoke.

“Where does the K of KJ03 go in the name Jotaro?”

Opening your mouth, you stopped yourself from speaking before squinting at him, seeing the tiniest of smirks on his face. “Alright, alright. Sarcasm huh? Well, Kan fuck off, that’s where it goes.” You answered back with a smirk of your own.

“Can starts with a C.” He spoke back in the driest tone possible and you snorted.

“So you do got jokes.” You grinned, still getting not much emotion out of him other than the faintest upward curves of his lips, but that was already all you needed.

“That is not correct English.”

You snorted again. “You are right but also shush and let me talk my lingo.” Your finger was sassily waving back and forth again and he followed it with his eyes, making you realise and bring it back down together with your head. “Uhm, so, you do like it, right? I know it is technically still you model number but it is kind of unique and-“

“I like it.” He cut you off and you looked up at him again, seeing the emotional indicator on his temple glow a very faint blue.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Did a horror movie marathon with my friend yesterday, we got through most of the Chucky movies cause it’s been forever since we watched them and it turns out I skipped a couple when I first saw the movies, anyways, my thoughts:

Child’s Play 1: Amazing. Obviously. Karen was such a good mom, and it breaks my heart to think about the guilt both of them must feel, with Karen having been the one to buy the doll and Andy being the one who really wanted it. Forgot about the almost rape scene and that made me sick, but overall, fantastic movie, can see how it became a series

Child’s Play 2: Hard to watch as someone whose mom lost custody of them at 4 and has relatives in the system they may never see again. Still a fun movie, especially more towards the end. Absolutely loved Kyle

Child’s Play 3: Not as fun as the other 2 to me, but I loved Tyler, and I loved the whole thing with Chucky being mad that Andy wasn’t the one who opened the box, still can’t stop thinking about Andy’s mom and if she’s okay

Bride of Chucky: And we’re back, such a fun movie to watch, I fucking love Tiffany, I think everyone does, loved the whole thing with the couple thinking the other one is a secret serial killer, not even suspecting the world’s creepiest doll that’s in the backseat, I’m sad that their friend died, couldn’t stop wondering what Andy was doing throughout all this

Seed of Chucky: Veered more into parody, so some parts were weird, did not like impregnating Jennifer Tilly without her consent thing but. okay. I guess. Wasn’t as much about Glen/da as I thought it would be? Also thought it was going to be more about them being genderfluid, but it kinda read more as a DID thing to me, fucking loved the ending tho were Chucky’s like “fuck it I wanna stay as a doll” and Tiffany was like “but 🥺 I wanna be Jennifer Tilly 🥺”, still wondering about Andy throughout all of this

Curse of Chucky: Hard to watch because that sister was so fucking ableist. fuck her. Knew there had to be a connection between them and Chucky (I had seen this one before but it was so long ago I forget the ending), till the home movies part I was really hoping they had a connection to one of the people who know Chucky’s actually alive, like the detective in the first movie. I didn’t like the ending where it turns out Tiffany was helping him only because it ruined the jokes I was making the whole time about Chucky taking the divorce hard and regressing to past vendettas

(Also the whole backstory thing for why he had a grudge against that family was something I didn’t like, like I loved how in BoC, he didn’t even wanna actually get married in the first place before he likes the idea, and then by the end of SoC, he wants to go full domestic with his wife and kid (just for Tiffany to be like “I’m leaving you and taking the kid”, so fucking iconic of her), what the fuck do you mean he’s “always had a thing for families”?? Also what about his accomplice being there??? Wtf was all that about??)

Also, still can’t help but wonder about Andy, the ultimate final girl

Cult of Chucky: We didn’t get to this one, we were maybe gonna watch it today but it doesn’t look like my friend will have time, so it’s on a waitlist, still I have seen this one before in the past, so I know Andy’s going to show up, so fucking excited to see him again

And then I haven’t seen anything about the show, besides a clip of Chucky acknowledging he has a kid(s), really hoping when I do get to the show, that it mentions what happened to all the other people who know Chucky is a possessed doll and are still alive

[krylng]

we will meet again series is done.

i got way too lazy and i lost motivation for this story.

so here’s what i was planning. (yes, ik its not as good then if i wrote a whole story) TW: mentions of smut, spoilers, death, dogs, hell.

he wakes up two months later

you stay with him for a month

you break up with him a month later

you leave his house

you find someone else to court

two years later, you break up with him

you see alastor at another dance

he makes his way over to you, snobby like before.

he doesn’t seem interested in you anymore

he dances with another lady until you tap her shoulder

he laughs at your jealousy, not refusing to dance with you.

both of your dancing is awkward.

he finds you in an alleyway again

you argue over everything.

your screaming at him when he sets his hands on your waist and pulls you closer.

you push him away, but he pins you

he kisses you.

you don’t break it. you were deprived of his kisses

he takes you home

smut, he even says, “oh yeah, baby, tell me how much you missed me.”

you eventually get back together.

you kill someone together.

you and jane catch up after years.

jane and alastor get in an argument and he kicks her out

your mad at him for that, so you give him the silent treatment until he uh…does stuff..

he proposes, and you get married.

five years later…

you are burying the body, alastor making sure you are doing it right

you hear a gunshot.

you turn around and see hunting dogs running for you

your frozen in fear until you realize they ran past you.

you turned around, and your alastor was being mauled by the dogs.

you screamed and hit the dogs, but they didn’t stop.

your alastor passes away, you are depressed.

you have an idea, which is crazy.

around.. ten to fifty years later.

everyone found out alastor was the serial killer, but not you. yet.

you went on a news channel.

”i helped him kill them” and then u… 🔫 urself on camera

you opened your eyes, confused. you looked at the symbol in the red sky and people running around.

you found a large building that said, “the hazbin hotel.”

you looked at your reflection. you had deer ears and antlers.

you were greeted by a hyper girl with a red suit.

she told you the plans, but you didn’t think a demon could be redeemed. you didn’t say that though.

she gave you a tour, and you met all the people.

”this is-“ she was interrupted by the red man

”i’m alastor, pleasure to meet you, quite a pleasure.”

you heard the radio in his voice.

did he not recognize you..?

he looked at you like a normal person.

you became friends with Angel Dust.

you told him about all your problems and worries. you basically vented to each other.

”i.. i was married to an alastor, but i don’t know if that’s him..”

angel was surprised. “toots, you should ask em’”

you went up to his radio tower, which alastor had when you were alive.

”um, hey alastor…i forgot to tell you my name, and i didn’t want to be rude.”

he stood up, a little confused.

”im… Y/N”

”darling?” he was shocked.

you ran to him, hugging him. he hugged you back and spun you around.

he kissed you for a minute.

you told him about your last few minutes alive.

soon, everyone in the hotel knew about his wife.

more smut since u died and it’s been a while

and u live happily ever after :> *

[detective-inspector-her]

Raising Cain & Potter Incorrect Quotes

Fletcher: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. Valkyrie: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

Nefarian: We need a diversion. I say Skulduggery gets naked. Fletcher: No. Nefarian: I could get naked. The squad: NO!!!

Harry: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Fletcher: Fletcher: I'm gonna tell them. Valkyrie: Don't you dare.

Nefarian: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

Fletcher: To everyone who has treated me poorly; I am sexier than you.

Harry, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Valkyrie: Yeah, sure. *A few minutes later* Valkyrie: Here you go. Harry: Valkyrie: Fletcher: Why am I here?

Fletcher: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts! Valkyrie, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack. Skulduggery, deadpanning at Valkyrie: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

Fletcher: What’s your body count? Skulduggery: Do you mean sex or murder?

Fletcher: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement. Fletcher: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

Harry: How do I ask someone out? Fletcher: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Harry: No! Valkyrie: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Harry: Stop! Skulduggery: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Harry: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

Harry: Stop saving the world and get a hobby.

Valkyrie, bleeding out on the ground: Blood loss? No, I know exactly where it is.

Skulduggery: Do you know the ABCs of first aid? Valkyrie: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Harry: Do you think different paints have different tastes? Nefarian: They do. Skulduggery: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Valkyrie: double checking supplies in the boat Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. Skulduggery: Hot dog costumes! Valkyrie: I’m sorry, what? Skulduggery: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Nefarian, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Nefarian hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us. Valkyrie: Are you saying that Nefarian would rather eat us than hot dogs? Nefarian: I do hate hot dogs.

Skulduggery: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way. Valkyrie: I almost died. Skulduggery: That… was my favorite memory.

Harry: Valkyrie, you’re such a genius! Valkyrie: Yes, I know.

Skulduggery: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend. Skulduggery: No, that’s Nefarian… I’m your nicest friend. Skulduggery: No, Harry... I’m your friend!

Fletcher: Come on Valkyrie, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that… Valkyrie: Yes I can, dear. Fifty dollars.

Valkyrie: I have locked Harry in a cage designed by his own art. Oh, he has been well and truly hoisted by his own petard. Skulduggery: Could you put it another way? I didn’t understand a word of that. Valkyrie: I’m blackmailing him. Skulduggery: Oh, happy days.

Fletcher: What are you eating? Valkyrie: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. Fletcher: I like you, don't I?

[5eraphim]

Official Roster of Characters for the monster mash-

(I'm so sorry to everyone who's sent a request I have yet to get to, but I'm on a spiral, and this is the one thing I can focus on ngl-)

Some are odd choices, but I wanted a good mix of obscure monsters with the more common ones. I hope the backstories justify the choices well! ^^

Red Team!

RED Scout: Horror Movie Slasher

A kind of Michael Myers or Bo Sinclair type, he has no supernatural powers and relies on nothing but his own force of will to get his sick thrills and escape capture. He's a hyperactive little maniac with bloodlust like none other. (Additionally, he is in a serial killer duo with BLU Pyro.) 

RED Soldier: Battlefield Ghost (American Redcap)

The once-promising Soldier who met a grizzly end on the battlefield fighting with all his heart now bound to the land he once protected as his restless spirit looks to avenge his own death, slaughtering all who dare tread on his resting place. No living man could comprehend the madness and hatred of the ex-soldier, as in life, none could compare to his heart and dedication to battle. Now the Soldier fights in an endless war in death with no promise of freedom. (A redcap is a ghost from English/Scottish folklore, describing the spirits who haunt boarders and the areas where the living once fought to protect and expand their homeland, something much like the ghosts haunting places like Sharpsburg, Chikamauga and many other such positions from the era of the civil war.)

RED Pyro: Cursed Living Doll

Pyro, as a living doll, has known several lives. Once, the gift of an elderly toymaker for his grandson, a little stuffed fireman, inspired by the fables the little boy would make up and perform for his Grandfather. Using the little toys as players as he narrated for his Grandfather, who would watch with wrapped attention, knowing he needed to make this toy perfectly to fit such a blessed and inspired storyteller. And for a few months, the little toy Pyro was the star performer in all the boy's shows, as he performed for family and friends alike. It was a cruel irony when tragedy struck the little boy's house in the form of a roaring blaze, one which snuffed out the life of the boy who died, clutching his most prized possession, praying it would deliver him to safety, as he'd done to so many other little boys in his stories. Years later, when the remnants of the toy were discovered, miraculously avoiding much damage from the fire, it was donated to a toy history museum, where it was to be touched up and put on display. But after the superstitious historian caught the cursed little thing moving about in the night on its own, he refused to lay his hands on it. This continued for some time until the little Toy Fireman eventually wound up lost, all alone all over again. To this day, the toy wanders in shadows, wandering from person to person. Terrified, restless, homesick, always looking for his beloved Grandfather, lost so long ago.

RED Heavy: Frankenstein's Monster

A creature of few words but of massive scale. Heavy is known to those on the outside as a cruel, merciless monster, one who must be kept away at all costs. But those close to him know better. Heavy won't rise to violence without outsider instigation. He cares only about protecting those close to him. Frightening on the outside, Heavy cares little for those who look upon him with fear or derision. It's not an easy or pleasant life, but it's all he's ever known.

RED Demo: Satyr

Nowhere near as vicious as many of his counterparts, above all, he is a hedonist, a title Demo embraces with pride. A creature with the gods' blood running in his veins, Demo knows he can unleash unfathomable destruction at will and is no stranger to enacting as much. But above all, Demo lives for the finer things in life and all the secular pleasures he can get his hands on. He lives among the mortals and nymphs, beckoning the pure to sin and corruption, one full glass at a time.

RED Engineer: Cyborg 

In the lore of TF2, it's mentioned that many of the patents attributed to Engie were initially his Grandfather's inventions he'd workshopped and brought to the battlefield. Going off of this, consider Engie's Grandfather alone, desiring a child to care for, and if he couldn't create one biologically, he'd do it in his machine shop. (Imagine if the story of Pinocchio were steampunk instead of Germanic.) Being constructed in a cold lab surrounded by machines of war and artillery, Engie never learned how to understand humans except through means of war. When his Grandfather, his Maker, passed away, no one was left to inhibit the Cyborg's morbid curiosity for humanity. Equal parts machine of war and curious child exploring the world, Engie's world is a cold one, unfeeling and without meaning.

RED Medic: Corrupt/Evil Priest

The one holy and devout man of the cloth led astray to the path of sin through secular curiosities and the thirst for knowledge. The ex-priest now embraces the life of vice, actively working to convince others to follow in kind. The Medic was cursed from birth with an insatiable curiosity, and it was only a matter of time before this morbid fascination with the other-worldly would lead him to stray from God. Medic was always well educated and cultured, though nowadays, he's not nearly as kind-hearted as he once was, choosing instead to favor a life of black magic, studying the dark arts and the occult.

RED Sniper: Vampire Hunter

While he and his bloodline were once humans, they are now cursed to roam the Earth forever, unable to be granted the sweet embrace of death until every vampire has been defeated. It is a miserable life, to say the least. There is nothing but endless bloodshed, centuries spent hunting in the hope of one day finding peace. (A task all the more soul-crushing considering in this AU, the Administrator is a vampire herself, and taking her out is basically flat-out impossible.)

RED Spy: Undead Groom

A groom killed on his wedding night, double-crossed by his own bride upon learning of his affairs with other women. What was once a life of treachery, unfaithfulness, and betraying the hearts of unsuspecting morals is now an afterlife, eternally haunting the graveyard behind the chapel. (Gonna be brutally honest, this backstory is weak as fuck, I just think Spy in an undead groom get-up would go so hard-)

BLU Team!

BLU Scout: Werewolf

AKA the lil' runt of the liter. Volatile and competitive, werewolf Scout worked harder than all the other members of his liter to fight to the top. He knows he's worked hard for this, and though he may lead the pack now, he'll never forget the childhood he spent in last place.

BLU Soldier: Haunted Armor

A magnanimous sight, over two hundred pounds of hand-crafted iron worked to perfectly protect the wearer from enemies. In combat, it was nothing short of a work of art, turning the act of slaughter into a breathtaking spectacle and carnage into poetry. Armor like this was intended to live on the battlefield, not remain stationary, fixed in place by the mantel, as a parody of its former beauty. And only the original master of the armor, the restless spirit of a bloodthirsty Soldier struck down in combat, had the tenacity to reclaim his majesty. Possessing the armor and, in kind, forever walking the Earth, his only purpose of killing without mercy, showing everyone how the most beautiful and illustrious of armor was truly meant to be seen.

BLU Pyro: Masked Slasher

A creature of the night, a mask without a face, a shadow without a body. It's more about stalking Pyro and watching as a nocturnal predator. One who lives for the thrill of the hunt. As opposed to Scout's sadistic desire to kill. He's a creature who lives for the night. Pyro doesn't remember life before killing. All it knows is the call to evil that rises each night with the moon, making him the perfect partner in crime for the hyperviolent, not-so-discrete, Scout.

BLU Heavy: Yeti

Literally just canon Heavy if he never got out of Siberia and had more body hair.

BLU Demo: Phoenix-hybrid

Fire, explosions, collateral damage, nothing inspired this creature of fire and rebirth with wonder and satisfaction quite like the sight of a fire, the aftermath of a grand explosion tearing up and consuming all that lay in its wake. For all this destruction, there is always the promise of rebirth, and for as many deaths Demo suffers, he never fails to come back, just as strong and ready to fight as before.

BLU Engineer: Poltergeist

A restless spirit with a pension for the mechanical, a poor man who tragically lost his life at the hands of a freak tech accident. Feeling no sense of connection to the world around him except through the cords and metal, he wielded in life. Not malevolent, not vengeance-seeking, merely a lost soul looking to find the meaning he once knew in life wielding his tools and devices. Anyone who steps into the ex-engineer's shop would swear they felt watched, chills, and melancholy in the air.

BLU Medic: Grim Reaper

The angel of death here to separate the human body from its soul and send the spirit into their next life. Medic loves his job. He may have no control over how his victim dies, but every day he watches the life leave the eyes of his victims in unique ways, as morbid as it is fascinating. It's a privilege for him to learn so much about humans and their pain. Knowing he'll be the last thing they'll see before the afterlife is also quite honoring!

BLU Sniper: Gargoyle

An inanimate statue constructed for the sole reason of watching over the cathedral he rests above. For so long, he performed this task till he grew restless and longed to stray from his accursed perch. Through this agitation, Sniper was persuaded to allow a demon to possess his stone body to give him the freedom he longed to see. Though the demon never promised Sniper when he'd get his body back, and centuries later, the gargoyle continues to possess his body, prowling around at night, perching motionless during the day.

BLU Spy: The Bogeyman

An ancient creature who has existed to torment mankind as the moon rises and the mind enters a deep sleep. He is a shapeshifting manifestation of fear incarnate who lurks in the darkness feeding off of human suffering and madness. He lost his heart long ago, and feels nothing but a hunger, his endless need deep inside to fill the void inside of himself with the suffering of others, knowing so long as he prowls the night, he will never be satisfied.

shitpost-y alternates

Scout: Killer Clown

Need I say more?

Soldier: Minotaur

A hulking territorial beast who will protect his homeland no matter the threat. 

Pyro: Drude

A malevolent nocturnal spirit known to give people nightmares, originating from German mythology. Imagine the adorable power couple of drude Pyro with a ballonicorn mare frolicking through the night to terrorize the sleeping morals who rest in their wake- like, how cute is that!

Heavy: Centaur

Appearing wild and dangerous, but can also be down for a good time, won't turn to violence unprovoked, but will have fun with the violence in question.

Demo: Gorgon

Eternally pissed, he lost one of his eyes, so he uses his last one to turn bitches to stone and make this everyone else's problem.

Engineer: Carbunclo (creature!)

(Emphasis on creature, as I learned the hard way Carbuncio also refers to a specific type of skin infection.) Physical descriptions of the creature vary, though said to originate from Chilean folklore. He's kinda like a lil mammalian-looking creature with a bright gemstone on his forehead said to bring great luck and physical riches to the houses he visits. (Assuming he is treated well by the owners, naturally.) The creature is mainly drawn to salt-of-the-Earth, working-class type folks, so even if Engie weren't the Carbunclo in question, he would quickly endear himself to the critter.

Medic: Genie

An immortal demon who uses almost unfathomable cosmic power to simply fuck with people for shits and giggles.

Sniper: Amorak

A creature from the Inuit religion, Amoraks were spirit-like entitles that would hunt down and consume anyone foolish enough to go out hunting alone at night. Quite fitting for the lone-wolf mercenary.

Spy: Phantom of the Opera

A pompous, pretentious French guy in a mask who doesn't work well with others. They're perfect for each other.

[howdoioperateher]

Just started on this one. I’d meant to start another book (and I will), but I picked it up from the library on the way home. I hadn’t expected it to be ready for pick up so quickly since I put in for it Thursday night. But I’m not mad. I can usually read more than one book at a time. I just haven’t in a minute or two.

I really enjoyed The Whispering Skull as well as The Screaming Staircase. I’m pretty sure I’ll want to own the rest of these books when I’m done, but I’ll hold off for now. Until I get my condo fixed and ready to be lived in again. And some new bookcases. I really need those. Even though I lost a lot of my books, I still have a lot that need to be placed in proper places. And I’m sure I’ll still get more as time goes on.

Part of me wants to be like let me write a serial analysis and all this stuff but most of me is just here to say I’m enjoying the ride. I’m enjoying the books.

[shirohige-pirates]

Just Like Fire

CisFem Reader x Portgas D. Ace

CW: angst, language, erotic, violence, serial killer, stalking, poisoning, over-bearing controlling parents, attempted forced marriage, possible dub-con, Munchausen by proxy (aka Factitious Disorder), wildly cute and fluffy despite the warnings. 18+ only

Summary: You're Sabo's biological sister in this AU. After college you moved in with your dear brother and his two sworn brothers in order to avoid going back home. You and Sabo despise your family equally.

Chapter 18: Date

Mid-afternoon on Friday, you and Ace got into his truck and headed away from the city. The big tent from the adventure in the back yard was packed into the truck, along with a few things to make the whole thing more comfortable. It was your first camping trip, and also your first date.

Ace had been sorting out the details with Sabo so you wouldn’t have to worry about them, assuring you that everything was going to be taken care of. You weren’t going to exactly be roughing it, at least not the way the guys usually do, and if things went sour the first night it was just a few hours’ drive to get back home. Which meant it was okay if you didn’t stay out the whole weekend.

“We’re also going to be camping on Pops’ land.” Ace had explained to you the night before you left. “He’s got something like six thousand acres of land. Plenty of room.”

“For?”

“Camping.” He said with a wink.

Now, here you were, several miles out of the city limits already, with a couple more hours of driving ahead of you. The radio was starting to break up a little, so you flipped through a few of the CDs Ace had in the glove box and put one in. The songs filled the silence of the drive, and you tried to keep your heart from popping out of your chest.

It was just you, and him, and miles of field and forest.

You trusted him. Not just in terms of being alone with him, but you also knew that nothing could go too wrong. You wouldn’t get lost. It wouldn’t matter if it rained or didn’t. No matter what exactly happened, it was going to be okay.

The only thing getting in your way so far were your own nerves.

Ace turns the player down a little. “How you holding up?”

“Huh?”

He grins, eyes still on the road. “You look nervous.”

“Haaaa, yeah. A little.” You admit. “It’s… a lot of firsts all at once, and I guess I’m just worried I’ll mess it up.”

“Mess what up?”

“I don’t know. That I’ll camp wrong, or date wrong, or… er… I mean. I’m just worried I’ll mess it up.”

Ace smiles, reaching over and tangling his fingers into yours. “You can’t mess it up. It’s already going to be perfect because you’re here.”

“A-Ace, that’s – I’m going to change!” You groan, letting go of his hand and nearly caving in on yourself.

Ace laughs. “Sorry, lil’ dove.” He teases. “You said it first, don’t get mad at me.”

“It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be you and me.” Your words come back into your mind, the memory of the night you had first changed dancing through your head for a moment.

“… Yeah.” You reach out and take his hand, flushed down to your shoulders.

“I promise, I won’t do anything you don’t want.” He says softly.

You smile, looking over at him. “Not going to live up to your reputation, eh, tyrant?” You tease.

“Pfft, ruffians,” he says, emphasizing the word. “Are good and proper gentlemen, underneath it all.”

You laugh, holding onto his hand a little more tightly. “Whatever you are, I trust you.” You assure him. “But that doesn’t make me less nervous.”

“… That’s fair.” Ace gives your hand one more squeeze before letting go, turning the player up, and putting both hands on the wheel.

The rest of the drive passed by mostly in a comfortable silence. Ace asked a couple of times if you needed or wanted him to stop somewhere for snacks, or so you could stretch and you assured him you were alright. Your body required a fraction of the care and consideration it used to need, and while your endurance wasn’t on par with the boys, you were sure it would be one day.

Ace pulled off the main road after a couple hours and onto a dirt road. He put a hand out of the window, and shot a pillar of fire into the air for a moment until you heard, and saw, a flare go off from across the field.

“What?”

“Now Pops’ knows we’re here, and he won’t worry.”

“Will I ever meet this Pops?” You question.

Ace nods. “Yeah. He told me I needed to take you on at least one date before I tried to introduce you to my dad, so, uh.”

You smile. “Okay, I understand.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Ace smiles. “That’s good.”

Ace drove along the dirt road for almost another hour. The sun was starting to dip low in the sky before he turned off the road entirely and drove through an open field for a few miles.

“Alright, this is a good spot.” He said, maneuvering the truck a little before he parked it. “I’ll get the tent set up, if you want to clean up the fire pit.”

“There’s a fire pit?” You question as you get out of the truck. Looking around you saw an area that had been purposefully cleared away. “Ah, I see.”

“There’s a few fire pits just off the road.” Ace explains as he pulls the tent from the truck bed. “Pops lets us use the land cause, well, it’s free for us for one, and two, it’s friendly. Pops’ is cursed too. Luffy and Sabo and I would come out here every couple of months and just get away from the city for a night, or two if we could swing it.”

“Aside from the backyard, you haven’t all been camping since?”

Ace grins. “Despite how it probably feels like it’s been a long time, it’s only been a month. We went the week before you moved in.”

The two of you work on your tasks. Ace gets the tent set up in short order despite how big it is. A few times you see him using rope and a bar to force things into place in a way that would normally be handled by two people working together. Dusk was settling in when you were done setting up, and Ace sets the wood pile you had stack inside the pit on fire with a flick of his wrist.

You smile as it crackles to life.

“What’s that for?” He questions looking over at you.

“You.”

“Me?”

You nod. “You’re a lot more comfortable with your curse around me now, compared to when I first moved in, and it made me feel good.”

“You’re a comfortable person.” Ace says with a smile, before he clears his throat and heads back to the truck. “Let me get something going for us to eat. That lunch at the truck stop was a few hours ago, you’ve got to be hungry.”

He sets up a little camping stove and pulls some stuff from the cooler you brought with you. After a few minutes, a camp stew is bubbling by the fire pit, and Ace is dishing out portions for both of you. It’s simple stuff, but it tastes good, and you can tell Ace held off on his usual spiciness. Some bread to clean it all up made for a nice, filling supper.

For a few minutes the two of you just sat side by side, watching the fire and the smoke. You leaned your head against his shoulder, letting your gaze get lost in the fire.

“You’re thinking so hard, I can hear it.” Ace teases, looking down at you before putting his arm around you and pulling you close. “What’s on your mind, mi luz?”

“A lot.” You admit. “How am I going to deal with my parents? What kind of revolution is Sabo planning? How much of the world is moving that I don’t know about? How’s Ichiji going to take the news? How is it night and I’m wide awake? Can I change out here? If I could be a smaller bird, could I be a bigger bird?”

You rattle off the questions and lean back, looking up at Ace. “What’s luz mean?”

“Light.” He answers softly. The light from the campfire flickers across his face, dancing in his eyes.

“I’m your light?”

He nods. “My light, my dove, my little bird, my – ah. Ahem.” You can see his face go red in the firelight. “That’s… kind of possessive, huh?”

You shake your head. Your bravery evaporates and you turn away from him before you reply. “I don’t mind… being yours.”

You feel Ace get closer, turning toward you a little. His breath against your ear heats your skin down to your shoulders.

“Then… I can be yours?” The question slips over your skin, and you nod your head.

“(Y/N).” You can feel the delighted shiver ripple through you at the sound of your name falling from his lips.

“Mm.” You barely squeak the sound out.

“I’d… like to kiss you.”

“I’d like to kiss me too.” You say, turning to look at him as it dawns on you what you said, and mortification sinks in. “Oh-by-the-seas.” You nearly cry, covering your face with your hands.

Ace had looked truly confused for the split second you had seen his face, and you couldn’t blame him. You didn’t say what you meant to say at all. You hear him crack, a snorted rush of air escaping him as he tries not to laugh, but a second later he’s laughing.

“S-sorry!” He manages, a few errant laughs still escaping him. “It was… too cute!” He tries to explain between laughs. “The look on your face, was – pfft! – adorable.”

You get up to cool off and Ace is with you.

“Wait, mi amor, I’m sorry.” You can hear the concern in his voice, but it was more his words that stopped you.

You turn to look at him, your own personal embarrassment quickly replaced by a less mortifying kind. “… Amor?”

Ace flinches. His fists clench in front of him for a moment as he takes a deep breath and looks back at you. “Yeah. I… maybe it’s too fast, but yes.”

You’re both quiet for a long moment, the crackle of the campfire and soft shift of long grass in the breeze are the only sounds. The look of concern and embarrassment on his face shifts a little and he looks away.

“Sorry. I was… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He rubs the back of his head idly, and lets out an aggravated sigh. “It’s too late to drive back, but I can sleep in the truck. I won’t -.”

“W-wait, no, I -.” You step toward him and grab his hand. “I’m not. I mean, I was, but not that way, and that was my own fault. I just… I never thought I’d hear that.” You admit, as your gaze drops.

You hold onto his hand tighter, and he squeezes back, waiting for you to continue.

“It was a service. That’s how I was raised – relationships were a service.” You say, your eyes flicking up to his. You’re too embarrassed to hold his gaze, but you’re trying. “Emotions are a failing of commoners. No-nobles have more sense.”

You clear your throat, managing to look at Ace without looking away. “I never thought I’d hear someone direct that word at me. Not even our parents ever said it. I just… don’t know what to say, but I’m not,” you swallow, and feel your heart rush. “Uncomfortable. I’m, um… happy.”

“Oh, thank the seas.” Ace says in relief, slumping down to his knees. He holds your hand to his head. “I thought I screwed up when you didn’t say anything.” He leans back, sitting back on his heels and looking up at you with a smile. “You don’t have to say it back. If I say something to you and you’re not sure what to say, then just say my name.”

“… Ace.”

“Yes, mi amor?” He replies with a smile.

“I would… like for you to kiss me.” You say, taking a small step back as Ace stands up. “I’ve… never… um…”

“Just relax,” he says softly, one hand caressing your face, the other slipping around your waist. “I’ll do all the work.”

He cradles your face in his hand, tilting your head back a little as he steadies you against his body. The campfire pops and the fire flickers between you, sending shivers of light over your skin. Somehow, it’s easier to disappear into his eyes like this, but your eyes keep shifting to his lips as he draws closer.

“Ace.” You say softly, gaze on his lips, after he hasn’t moved any closer for a few beats.

“Sorry,” he says in a voice sweet and low and rough. “I’ve wanted you this close for so long.”

You smile, shifting your gaze up to his eyes. “It’s barely been a month.” You tease.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, his own gaze shifting to your lips. “If time stops,” he leans closer, his lips are nearly brushing against yours. “Every time you’re this close.”

You let out a shivering breath, and Ace closes the slip of distance between you.

The first kiss is light. Warm lips against one another almost chaste, and when he licks his lips, you can feel the tip of his tongue brush your bottom lip before he kisses you again. The rush of pleasure steals your breath more than the kiss itself, and his hands are hot against you. An appreciative moan of pleasure bubbles up from you and it’s the spark Ace was seemingly waiting for.

There’s more behind the next kiss, a desire to be closer, a need that almost seems to devour you. The fire feeds between the two of you, burning hotter as your fingers disappear into his hair, and your lips part to let him deeper.

All you can feel is him. All you can taste is the shared desire to fall deeper into one another. He smells like warm honey, smoke and spices and maybe that’s what he tastes like too, but you don’t care. You just want his lips against yours until your lungs give out, or your knees buckle, or the world ends.

Whichever comes last.

The rush of pleasure from his touches, from his kisses, from the shuddering breaths that fall over you, and the glimmer in his eyes from the firelight were too much and not enough at the same time. You wanted more, and you wanted this moment to last just a little longer.

The rush of kisses break, and Ace leans his head against yours as you both catch your breath.

“Haaa –, kissing never felt like that before.” He admits with a shy smile before he leans back and hugs you to his chest. You can hear his heart pounding along with your own. “I think I forgot to breathe a couple times.”

You laugh, letting yourself sink into him a little. “I don’t know that I even thought to try.”

Ace chuckles and the two of you devolve into giggle fits for a few minutes as you lean against one another.

“Ah!” Ace exclaims, and you look up to see him looking up. “Wow, it’s really clear tonight.” He looks down at you. “I’m going to set up the truck bed. Think you can survive sleeping with me?”

You nearly burst into flames and Ace laughs. “I promise, just sleeping.” He leans down and nuzzles into your neck a little. “Maybe a chaste kiss or two.” He adds, kissing your neck briefly.

The single, light smooch sends a shiver straight down your spine and you can almost see the devilish smirk pull at his lips. He turns and kisses your cheek before walking off to go set up the truck bed. You stood in place in a little bit of a daze, thinking for a moment about how the evening had almost gone wrong before it went right.

Ace is pulling one of the air mattresses out of the big tent, and drags it over to the truck, tossing it into the empty truck bed. He goes back into the tent and comes out with, as far as you can tell, every blanket and pillow that was in the tent all at once and tosses it all into the truck bed too. Hopping up onto the tailgate he kicks his boots off, setting them in a corner and goes back to “making” the bed.

It’s a little slipshod, but functional.

“Alright,” he says proudly, coming over to the tailgate and crouching down. “Come on up, pajarito.”

You hop a little as he lifts you up onto the truck’s tailgate. You take your shoes off and put them in the other corner as you step onto the air mattress and Ace hauls the tailgate up with a little effort. It forces the air mattress into a tight fit in the truck bed, but you’re sure that it’s been put through worse given how the boys probably get on their own during camping trips.

“You went through all that effort to put the tent together.” You muse as Ace sits on the air mattress and pats the space beside him.

“Yeah, such wasted effort.” He says with a grin. “Ah, if a squall moves in it’ll come in handy, but it’s probably not bad I had something to burn a little energy on.”

You sit down beside him. “I suppose I don’t yet have the kind of stamina someone would need to keep up with you.”

He gives you such a devious grin that you can feel your body heating up before he says anything. “That’s why I keep telling you, you can relax.” Ace leans in, speaking low into your ear. “Let me do all the work.”

You can feel the shiver of fire roll over your shoulders as he leans back. When you’re able to meet his gaze again, he gives you a lazy smile and points up.

You look up and your mouth goes slack. The sky is thick with stars. The backdrop is impossibly dark, but there’s easily thousands and thousands more stars than you’ve ever seen before. Probably far more than that.

It’s almost like someone dumped diamonds and their dust against black velvet. There’s no moonlight, either the moon hasn’t begun its ascent for the night or it’s a new moon, you can’t be sure.

“Wow.” You gasp. “I’ve never seen… so many stars. I took a boat, from East Blue to here, but I didn’t – I couldn’t…” You reach out toward the sky. “It’s… haaa.” You sigh and wipe away the start of tears.

“Hey,” there’s concern in Ace’s voice as he pulls you close. “What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “What did I miss? All these years? What could I have seen and known?” You cry a little in frustration, leaning into Ace.

“We’ll cover it.” He says gently. “All of it. We can go sailing, and I’ll take you clubbing whether Sabo’s okay with it or not. We’ll go snowboarding on a snowy island and go see autumn leaves. I’ll take you to an overlook on Dawn Island I’m sure you don’t know about, and you can see the island how I did.”

He leans back, brushing tears from your cheeks, and tilting your face up to meet his gaze. “One word from you and we’ll travel this world and forget about nobles and revolutions and everyone else.”

You laugh despite it. “Don’t tempt me, Portgas. D. Ace.” You kiss his cheek, and he hides his face against your shoulder for a second.

He mutters something but you’re not sure what he’s saying. He’s speaking in another language too fast and too muffled for you to make it out, but you can guess some of it, since there’s little flickers of flames dancing off his hair.

“Mi Luz.” He says clearly, looking up at you, cheeks red.

“Yes?”

“I would like to kiss you.” He says, almost mumbling it.

You smile. “I would like you to kiss me.”

[katsushika-division]

Division Rap Battle (Death Row Block & Valor Guard Ver.)

Bring The Beat

[All:]

We hereby declare to fight with all our might

We are determined and invincible ruffians

Our words are machine guns

Or compasses that lead us to the future

We’re the trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?

[Death Row Block:]

One, two, three, Katsushika Division

[Akihisa:]

Represent Katsushika!

Homies, we are Death Row Block

Dead men tell no tales 

[Death Row Block:]

Welcome to the division

One, two, three, Katsushika Division

[Akihisa:]

Represent Katsushika!

[Touya:]

Homies, we are Death Row Block

[Rintaro:]

We’re the worst of the worst 

[Death Row Block:]

Welcome to the division

[Akihisa:]

A monster barely restrained 

You're lucky that I'm chained

Even then do really think me tame? 

Fool, freedom will be mine to reclaim 

So beware the angel of death, Azrael  

Your soul is mine to impale 

Until then I'll patiently wait

Not even the threat of death can intimidate 

No, it only makes me want to rebel 

Even from within in my cell

Now it's a certain Darling’s turn to speak 

I advise you not to freak

[Touya:]

Nice to meet you! MC Darling is here to play!

Promise you’ll never leave me, okay?

Everyone who does always ends up dead  

I’d much rather you end up in my bed 

This Jack the Ripper is knocking on your door

Desperate for love, craving it more and more

Ding dong! Here I come! Oh, look at you run! 

Do you think you can just leave? We've only just begun!

[Rintaro:]

Ayo, pass me a light and a cig, I’m about to smoke a bitch out 

Of that, there's no fucking doubt 

Ignis is the name, don't you forget it 

I’m a volatile reaction ready to be lit 

Terrorizing the country with my fiery reign 

A burning madness I can barely contain 

So go on I dare you to fuck with me and my team

The Hitman, The Serial Killer, and I are monsters straight out of your worst dreams 

[Valor Guard:]

One, two, three, Niigata Division

[Seiji:]

Represent Niigata!

Homies, we are Valor Guard

Standing tall even in the face of danger

[Valor Guard:]

Welcome to the division

One, two, three, Niigata Division

[Seiji:]

Represent Niigata!

[Lyall:]

Homies, we are Valor Guard

[Ayumu:]

Saving people is what we do 

[Valor Guard:]

Welcome to the division

[Seiji:]

This world seems to be getting worse year after year 

No matter I'll face all challenges with no fear 

Even when others stand petrified 

I’ll be like a lion protecting his pride

I made a promise to guard this city and my family

I’ll be sure to see it through valiantly

Any criminal who dares to commit a transgression

Avenger will be here to teach you a lesson

I’ll make sure it will be one you never forget 

From behind bars, repaying society's debt

Losing is something I refuse to allow

So, Rookie, it's your turn now

[Lyall:]

Representing the voices of those who have lost their lives to the rotten 

Making sure that they’ll never be forgotten

Staying up all night, piecing together every little clue

Don't you know that Corvus is coming for you   

Never stopping, I won't ever rest

Not until their killers are mine to arrest

Even if it means breaking a law or two

What does it matter as long as they get their due

[Ayumu:]

Speeding through the city, sound the alarm

I made an oath to save anyone from harm 

From the innocent to even the most depraved 

To the city being razed 

Ex-Aid is here to make sure everyone comes out alive 

Even if I have to work on overdrive 

No one will die not if I can help it 

It's just not in my nature to quit

[All:]

We hereby declare to fight with all our might

We are determined and invincible ruffians

Our words are machine guns

Or compasses that lead us to the future

We’re the trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?

We got major beef, now we settle it

My Hypnosis Mic roars

Customized to attack your psyche

Words that burn your synapses

We’re the Trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?

[niigata-division]

Division Rap Battle (Death Row Block & Valor Guard Ver.)

Bring The Beat

[All:]

We hereby declare to fight with all our might

We are determined and invincible ruffians

Our words are machine guns

Or compasses that lead us to the future

We’re the trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?

[Death Row Block:]

One, two, three, Katsushika Division

[Akihisa:]

Represent Katsushika!

Homies, we are Death Row Block

Dead men tell no tales 

[Death Row Block:]

Welcome to the division

One, two, three, Katsushika Division

[Akihisa:]

Represent Katsushika!

[Touya:]

Homies, we are Death Row Block

[Rintaro:]

We’re the worst of the worst 

[Death Row Block:]

Welcome to the division

[Akihisa:]

A monster barely restrained 

You're lucky that I'm chained

Even then do really think me tame? 

Fool, freedom will be mine to reclaim 

So beware the angel of death, Azrael  

Your soul is mine to impale 

Until then I'll patiently wait

Not even the threat of death can intimidate 

No, it only makes me want to rebel 

Even from within in my cell

Now it's a certain Darling’s turn to speak 

I advise you not to freak

[Touya:]

Nice to meet you! MC Darling is here to play!

Promise you’ll never leave me, okay?

Everyone who does always ends up dead  

I’d much rather you end up in my bed 

This Jack the Ripper is knocking on your door

Desperate for love, craving it more and more

Ding dong! Here I come! Oh, look at you run! 

Do you think you can just leave? We've only just begun!

[Rintaro:]

Ayo, pass me a light and a cig, I’m about to smoke a bitch out 

Of that, there's no fucking doubt 

Ignis is the name, don't you forget it 

I’m a volatile reaction ready to be lit 

Terrorizing the country with my fiery reign 

A burning madness I can barely contain 

So go on I dare you to fuck with me and my team

The Hitman, The Serial Killer, and I are monsters straight out of your worst dreams 

[Valor Guard:]

One, two, three, Niigata Division

Represent Niigata!

[Seiji:]

Homies, we are Valor Guard

Standing tall even in the face of danger

[Valor Guard:]

Welcome to the division

One, two, three, Niigata Division

[Seiji:]

Represent Niigata!

[Lyall:]

Homies, we are Valor Guard

[Ayumu:]

Saving people is what we do 

[Valor Guard:]

Welcome to the division

[Seiji:]

This world seems to be getting worse year after year 

No matter I'll face all challenges with no fear 

Even when others stand petrified 

I’ll be like a lion protecting his pride

I made a promise to guard this city and my family

I’ll be sure to see it through valiantly

Any criminal who dares to commit a transgression

Avenger will be here to teach you a lesson

I’ll make sure it will be one you never forget 

From behind bars, repaying society's debt

Losing is something I refuse to allow

So, Rookie, it's your turn now

[Lyall:]

Representing the voices of those who have lost their lives to the rotten 

Making sure that they’ll never be forgotten

Staying up all night, piecing together every little clue

Don't you know that Corvus is coming for you   

Never stopping, I won't ever rest

Not until their killers are mine to arrest

Even if it means breaking a law or two

What does it matter as long as they get their due

[Ayumu:]

Speeding through the city, sound the alarm

I made an oath to save anyone from harm 

From the innocent to even the most depraved 

To the city being razed 

Ex-Aid is here to make sure everyone comes out alive 

Even if I have to work on overdrive 

No one will die not if I can help it 

It's just not in my nature to quit

[All:]

We hereby declare to fight with all our might

We are determined and invincible ruffians

Our words are machine guns

Or compasses that lead us to the future

We’re the trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?

We got major beef, now we settle it

My Hypnosis Mic roars

Customized to attack your psyche

Words that burn your synapses

We’re the Trinity, it’s showtime

We engrave our style in history

A DNA vessel wandering life and death

We’ll follow our instincts, say what?