#I’m so emo about this and will be forever

[i-have-zero-chill]

okay so like obviously we already knew none of Buck’s past love interests have truly appreciated him the way he deserved, but that kiss scene with Tommy just made it even more clear. Like holy shit. The entire vibe was just so different from anything else we’ve seen with Buck romantically. Tommy was just so gentle and sweet with him I am still floored. Just,,, Buck being wanted the way he deserves thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[nymphaerie]

two beers in and actually for real irl sobbing about kim and the kineema its just like. kim cares so much about this damn car. but truly he cares so much about all the possessions he keeps, about machines in general, these finely tuned objects that can do so so much for humanity but rarely get recognized for it. do you think he empathizes with them? engines made to live and breathe revachol? he’d never admit it out loud how much he loves them, and especially not how much he hopes they love him back, but they do!!! he cares so deeply, takes such careful, meticulous care of the things he loves. maybe he loves them because they can’t tell him that they love him back. but then harry comes along, this strange, impossible man who talks to walls and ties and tells kim his kineema loves him. isn’t it the exact thing kim won’t let himself believe, because it’s too indulgent, too far fetched? that something he loves could love him? that the objects he cares for, that he puts so much effort into maintaining, could thank him for it?

[daincrediblegg]

God I had such a good art moment back in 2019. Bring me back to her please

[carlos-tk]

night ruined 😭😭😭 my favourite dog I follow on ig has been really sick and passed away 😭😭😭 I’m legitimately crushed 💔

[mochatears]

The fact that there are languages that exist right now that are dying is really depressing.

[tirednotflirting]

happy fourth bday to calm 💛

forever grateful for this record for a little light in the dark that was spring 2020 and for bringing me into a community that brought me friends all over the world and laughter and joy at all hours of the day

i’ll never forget day dreaming about taking trips all over to see each other and late night discord listening parties and reading fics to each other and battling the uncertainty of everything going on around us with hope and creativity and love

this album was a catalyst for a lot of good when everything else felt a little bleak. grateful grateful grateful

[timetohealit]

wasting my time when it was always you ALWAYS YOOOUUU

[lity-bity-tity]

I’ll never not be sad about Lucien Tavelle. He was a kid, just a kid man. He loved so much. He loved his sister, his Brevyn, his Cree, his Tombtakers.

He saw how the world had chewed up and spit out these people he loved so much and the Somnovem twisted that love to their own purpose and told him he could *fix it*, fix the world that hurt the ones he loved.

Of course he took it. Of course he tried and failed and fell. Who wouldn’t want to make the world see that just because they were poor or not human or didn’t fit the mold that they weren’t worthless? Who wouldn’t want to make the world stand up and take notice of the ones they love?

You ever just think about the tragedy of Lucien Tavelle and cry a little bit? He didn’t seek out the Somnovem intentionally; he found the book on accident and was more interested in the silly hat the original owner was wearing than it. It only became important when the girl he loved died trying to get it back for him. And by the time he knew there was something fucked up about it, it was too late.

And then he was dead. And there was no coming back from that, because the Lucien that Cree brought back was a wholly different one than the Lucien Tavelle of before. Hollowed out and cruel, with only wisps of memories of who he was before remaining.

[augustinewrites]

“babe. baaaabe. babe!”

“what, satoru?” you ask sharply, looking up from your laptop to where your boyfriend has spread himself across your couch, his legs in shoko’s lap. 

he lifts his shades to look at you. “was i your first crush?”

“yes,” you answer quickly.

you immediately return to the report you’re writing, missing the face shoko makes before she says, “that’s not true.” 

“ieiri,” you whisper harshly, but it’s too late. your boyfriend’s already jumped off the couch to lean his palms against your desk. 

“what? i wasn’t your first?!”

“you were,” you insist, glaring at your friend. “shoko is clearly misremembering things.”

“am i though?”

“you know what, it’s fine,” gojo sighs, slipping his shades back on and rolling the sleeve of his t-shirt up so he can flex. “obviously i’m way cooler than whatever lame schmuck high school you was crushing on.”

behind him, shoko’s scoff is the final nail in your coffin. “nanami is way cooler than you ever were.”

you slap your forehead, bracing yourself for gojo’s inevitable overreaction. 

but he doesn’t get the chance, interrupted by a light knock against your doorframe from, you guessed it, nanami kento.

“yaga said you wanted to see me?”

cue overreaction.

“you had a crush on— on him?” 

nanami swats gojo’s finger away from his cheek. 

“oh my god,” your boyfriend breathes, currently experiencing a quarterlife crisis. “you liked this emo nemo?”

nanami ignores him, sending you a questioning look. “he doesn’t know?”

“what is it now?” satoru asks, slumping back into the couch. “did you guys go on a date or something?” 

your lack of answer is enough for him to let his head fall back rather dramatically. 

“can you blame her?” shoko asks. “he was sexy back then. in an edgy, mysterious kind of way. meanwhile, you were like…if a string bean made love to a cauliflower.” 

even gojo doesn’t have a witty retort prepared for that. 

you decide to clear this up once and for all. “it wasn’t just about looks. you were busy after— after riko. you didn’t have time for a relationship or…for me. you wanted to get stronger and i didn’t want to get in your way.”

“you wouldn’t have been—”

“i would have.” you shrug. because you know him, and you know what he was like. “and that’s okay because we were still kids, satoru. and it was only one date! no need to get so torn up about it!”

_____

“what is this?” you ask later that night, when you find satoru hauling a huge box into your apartment.

“it’s a bowflex!” gojo explains proudly, patting the unopened box. “shoko said that i was built like a string bean, so i’m gonna buff up like nanami! and when megumi moves out next year, i’m gonna turn his room into a gym.”

you lean in the doorway, amused. nanami also has a home gym. “is that why you’re also wearing a suit and tie instead of your usual uniform?”

he does a show spin, letting you take it all in. you don’t even want to know how much it must have cost. “do you like it?” 

“you do look very handsome.” 

“i know,” he winks, cocky as ever. “now watch this.”

he brushes a few strands of hair over his eyes, lowering his voice a few octaves as he says, “taxes. office work. satoru, i respect you so much!”

you walk up to him, brushing the hair back to press a kiss to his forehead. “nanami would never say that last thing, but i do like the effort.” 

he loops his arms around your waist, returning the kiss and murmuring against your skin, “did it turn you on though? maybe i should get an office job—”

“satoru,” you whine, resting your forehead against his chest. “it was just a short-lived crush. and it was forever ago! i’m pretty sure you’ve had crushes that weren’t me.”

“nope,” he hums, resting his chin atop your head. “all i’ve ever wanted is you. all i’ve ever needed…is you.” 

[harrysfolklore]

how is piastri sis feeling with this being carlos last ferrari race? cuz i’m feeling emotional

AHHH CARLOS' LAST RACE WITH FERRARI ��� im so emo but also really really proud of him. and so is our girl piastri sis. enjoy!

READ LITTLE BITCH HERE

The motorhome is quiet, the usual post-race bustle muted by the weight of finality. Carlos sits on the couch, still in his race suit with the Ferrari logo that's no longer his, staring at nothing. You watch him from the doorway, heart aching at the emotion written across his face.

"I can hear you thinking from here," he says softly, not looking up.

You move to sit beside him, taking his hand. His fingers automatically intertwine with yours, a habit now.

"I keep thinking about what I said," your voice is barely a whisper. "At the beginning of the season. About hoping you wouldn't find a seat."

"Mi amor-"

"No, let me finish," you squeeze his hand. "Seeing you now, knowing how much the Ferrari exit hurt... I was so cruel. So insensitive. Just because I was angry about Oscar-"

"You apologized months ago," he turns to face you, eyes soft. "Went we grabbed sushi and said you were sorry for being harsh."

"I know, but..." you touch his face. "Watching you take that last lap today, seeing how emotional you were on team radio... it just hit me again how horrible those words were. How much you were already hurting when I said them."

He catches your hand, kissing your palm. "I wasn't exactly kind to you either back then. Or to Oscar on track."

"Still-"

"No, listen," he pulls you closer. "That comment? It led to our first real conversation. When you apologized, I knew something had shifted. And now look at us."

You lean into him, remembering how that sushi outing led to him kissing you after, and changing everything forever.

"Besides," he continues with a small smile, "I did find a seat. Williams is excited to have me. And more importantly..." he kisses your forehead, "I found you."

"Smooth little bitch," you murmur against his chest.

"It's true though," his voice gets serious. "Leaving Ferrari hurts, yes. But this year? Getting to know you, falling in love with you? It's worth every painful moment."

"Even when I was being a protective sister?"

"Even then," he chuckles. "Though I prefer when you're being a protective girlfriend now."

You look up at him. "I'm so proud of how you handled everything this year. The Ferrari news, the criticism, the uncertainty... you stayed professional through it all."

"Had someone pretty amazing supporting me," he pulls you into his lap. "Someone who went from hating me to loving me."

"I never really hated you," you protest. "I just... strongly disliked your on-track decisions."

He laughs properly then, the sound chasing away some of the melancholy. "And now?"

"Now I strongly like everything about you," you kiss him softly. "Even your questionable racing moves."

"Hey!"

"Kidding," you stroke his cheek. "I'm so excited to see you at Williams. They're lucky to have you."

He holds you tighter. "Will you wear their merch next year?"

"Of course. But I'm keeping one Ferrari shirt."

"Oh?"

"Your race-worn one from today," you smile. "For memories."

His eyes get emotional again. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too," you rest your forehead against his. "Ferrari chapter is closing, but we're just getting started."

He kisses you deeply, pouring everything he can't say into it.

Later, Oscar sends a photo to the group chat Of Carlos's last Ferrari lap with you watching from the garage, wearing his team shirt.

"From enemies to this. Still wild."

Carlos saves it immediately because sometimes the best endings lead to better beginnings. And sometimes "I hope you don't find a seat" turns into "I hope you never leave my side"

[gender-dropout]

SITUATION: Family members still call you a “young woman” despite the fact that you are transgender and are dressed very purposefully androgynous.

❌: “my family does not respect my self expression.” -> “my family is transphobic!”

✅: “my family does not equate only femininity with womanhood.” -> “my family are feminists!”

[radfemsiren]

Remembering my Afghani American best friend from my islamic elementary and middle school whose dad would get drunk every night and beat the shit out of her mother. She begged and begged for sleepovers because strangers in the house would make him leave, and I never told my parents about the situation (I lied and said she had no father or brothers) because I loved spending time at her house and staying up the whole night doing all the things we weren’t allowed to do that was “haram”… watching rated r movies, playing horror computer games, dancing to music videos on YouTube, cat walking in heels and makeup, scaring ourselves with creepypastas.

I remember we had a million stupid ass discussions about who the purple guy from five nights at Freddies was, or what a slenderman proxy meant, or if there were illuminati signs in Katy Perry music videos, or if emo drawings of Jeff the killer were hot. We’d whisper fight if Beyoncé or Lana del Rey was a better singer, or if teen wolf or maze runner had cuter boys. She was team Beyoncé and teen wolf.

We had to constantly be separated in school for talking, and we hated the creepy janitor and would throw wads of wet paper towel on the bathroom ceiling for him to clean up later. We got into so much trouble together, and would always smirk at each other in detention when we got yelled at. We’d shoplift lipsticks from the mall, and throw away expensive Quran transliterations from school, and sneak into the teachers break room and steal handfuls of ice and throw them on the imam/principal’s desk when he was gone to ruin his paperwork.

I moved away like I always had to do with my constantly migrating family and we lost touch. The last time I saw her in person was when we were still kids at her brothers wedding. I was laughing while I tried to ask her why the bride kept changing into different brightly colored dresses throughout the night. She wasn’t listening, and she burst into tears and cried about how her brother was just like her father and did every horrible thing he did. I held her and squeezed her so tight I thought her bones would break.

I recently tried to reconnect with her again but she’s already married, pregnant, and has abandoned social media and texting because it’s “haram.” Trying to talk to her was like speaking to a stranger… she had no interest in any of the things we would spend hours playing with before. “Islam is important to me now, I’m a new woman. We were messed up kids, it’s time to grow up.” She told me to never contact her again and hung up the phone.

Sometimes I feel like I failed her, and sometimes I understand that I was a girl trying to survive too.

One day I’ll save money to travel back there and talk to her in person. I’ll snap her out of it. We’ll spend all night up together again doing every terrible thing our teachers and parents and religious leaders warned us against, and laughing the whole way through it. We’ll get kicked out of bars and get into trouble and snicker our way through it all, knowing we’ve already won. I still have her dirty, worn, my littlest pet shop horse she gave me when we first met. I hold it in my hands when I see news of the what’s happening to the women of Afghanistan, and I feel like I’ve failed her again. That I’ll forever be stuck an immature child and her a miserable adult, both of us doomed, unable to be saved from our fates in the end.

[yujateaandpi]

hold on I’m going to be emo about Digimon for a moment. The whole essence of the franchise is “my good weird talking dog loves me soooo much and all they want is to live peacefully by my side but when my life is threatened (which is often) they transform into an immensely powerful being just so they can give their life up for mine. And sometimes they do and sometimes they are reborn but other times they do not come back and there is no way to repay or fill their loss. And sometimes I betray them but they will forgive me forever no matter how I mistreat them. And sometimes they forget who I am but they will never stop following me because that love doesn’t go away. All they want is to stay small and get head scritches and snacks but the world gets threatened literally every day so they’re always fighting for me. We live in two different worlds and they can’t always be next to me but they’ll wait. They’ll wait years and even when I’m older and have changed they’ll know who I am. They don’t understand why I’ve changed but in their eyes, I’m still the same child.”

[jjunberry]

❝ forever with me ❞

synopsis ⟢ can't promise that things won't be broken but i swear that i will never leave,please stay forever with me…when you’re forced to sit next to the one person you despise the most during a road trip, things get tense as emotions are at an all time high. (WIP)

pairing ⟢ nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre ⟢ enemies to lovers, forced proximity, non-idol au, slice of life, angst, fluff

warnings ⟢ arguments, cursing, niki & reader being assholes, jungwon and jake playing cupid??

wc ⟢ tba mlist ⟢

your eyebrows furrowed at jungwon, who stood across from you. “you have got to be kidding me,” your arms crossed. he smiled sheepishly, “i’m sorry but this year, it’s your turn for the back seat.” the back seat which you’ve always avoided since every year niki sat back there. “jungwon, this trip is a four hour drive, you want me to sit next to him for four hours?” jungwon sighed at your question. “with the drivers rotating, you two don’t drive so it’s easier this way.” curse you for not having your drivers license.

“i am not happy about this,” your arms crossed as you plopped down on your couch. jungwon sat next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. “it’s only for the ride there, you can manage yeah? just take your headphones.” you sighed and nodded, “i’m only doing this for you and the others, don’t expect a peep out of me.” jungwon smiled at your words, knowing there was no way you’d keep quiet against niki.

tag list: @304files @jjunieworld @miaroseindreamland @babymochibeargyu ..(leave an ask if you want to be added to the tag list for this fic or added to my permanent tag list)

release date? tba

author’s note: this was heavily inspired by if i’m james dean, you’re audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens lolol the emo to kpop pipline is crazy

love , echo ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪

© jjunberry - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

[won4kiss]

── ❝ ꒰ 𝑀𝒴 𝐵𝐸𝑆𝑇𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝑁𝐷𝑆 𝐵𝑅𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅 𝐼𝑆 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒪𝑁𝐸 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝑀𝐸 .ᐟㅤ ៸៸ ﹙ 이희승 ﹚ ᶻ𐰁

GENRE ៸៸ fluff & angst ៸ oneshot ﹔ SYPNOSIS┆in which you’re in love with your best friends brother .ᐟㅤ ꒰ WORD COUNT﹕4562 ꒱── 𝓦ARNING(S) not edited ៸ kissing ៸ situationships ៸ . ݁ ✦ ݁ . ⊱ LIBRARY . . . ﹕LUNA 💭 —so many sad & negative things have been happening recently:( i hope this cheers u guys up!! ily all vv much<3 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

THE LATE AFTERNOON SUN HUNG LAZILY IN THE SKY, casting warm golden hues across the suburban streets as you made your way to your best friend jiwon’s house.

the familiar path you’d walked countless times felt different today, each step heavier than the last.

the warmth of the day did little to ease the growing knot of anxiety in your stomach, a feeling that had become all too familiar whenever your thoughts drifted to lee heeseung.

it wasn’t always like this— there was a time when heeseung was just jiwon’s annoying older brother, the one who teased you and her mercilessly whenever you came over.

but as the years passed, those teasing remarks grew sharper, the once playful banter between you morphing into something much more soul crushing.

it seemed like every interaction with heeseung left behind a sting, a reminder that he saw you as nothing more than an annoyance.

you tried to brush it off, convincing yourself constantly to not let it get to you, that his words didn’t matter, that they didn’t affect you. but deep down, that wasn’t true. ── 𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌 𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘊𝘜𝘛 .ᐟㅤ

lately, however, the tension between you had shifted in an even more confusing direction.

the hostility that once defined your relationship with heeseung was now laced with an undercut of something you couldn’t identify.

there were moments when his gaze would linger on you a little too long, or when his usual biting comments softened ever so slightly.

it was in those rare instances that you began to suspect there might be more to your feelings for heeseung than just resentment, and the thought terrified you.

but admitting that was something you don’t think you’d ever be quite ready for.

even as you approached the front door, the echoes of past arguments and cruel remarks entered into your mind.

you thought back to the times heeseung’s words cut deep, leaving behind wounds that never quite healed.

you hated how much they affected you, how much he affected you. and yet, despite everything, there was a part of you that yearned for more than just his cold indifference.

lee jiwon greeted you with her usual bright smile, pulling you into a hug before you could dwell too long on your thoughts.

“eeeek! i’m so glad you’re here! it’s been forever since we had a sleepover,” she exclaimed, her excitement infectious.

you returned her smile, trying to push the anxiety to the back of your mind.

“yeah, it’ll be fun,” you agreed, though your voice lacked its usual enthusiasm.

you didn’t want to dampen jiwon’s spirits, but the thought of being under the same roof as heeseung, knowing how strained things were between you, made it hard to relax.

as you stepped inside, the scent of home-cooked meals and the sight of the familiar living room should have comforted you, but all it did was remind you of the tension that awaited.

your eyes instinctively darted towards the hallway that led to heeseung’s room, and sure enough, you heard it—the muffled thump of heeseungs’ emo rock music vibrating through the walls.

it was a sound you associated with him, never once had you come over without hearing the loud metal beat.

jiwon seemed to notice your distraction and followed your gaze.

“oh.. don’t worry about him,” she said lightly, though there was an undertone of concern in her voice.

“heeseung’s probably heading out soon. lia’s coming over.”

the mention of lia sent an inexplicable pang through your chest. you’d heard about her— who hasn’t? she was beautiful, confident, and seemingly always at heeseung’s side.

the two of them had a complicated relationship, one that was the subject of your towns gossip.

they weren’t officially together, but the way they acted around each other told a different story.

it was a story that made your heart ache, though you could never admit why.

you forced a smile, trying to mask your discomfort.

“right. no big deal,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to jiwon.

but inside, you felt a twinge of something you couldn’t quite describe—something that had been growing ever since you had first heard lia’s name.

you wanted to ignore it, to pretend that whatever was happening between you and heeseung wasn’t real, wasn’t important.

but as the evening wore on and you found yourself glancing toward the hallway, waiting for the inevitable moment when heeseung would appear, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you were in deeper than you ever intended to be. and that terrified you.

as the evening wore on, you and jiwon settled into her room, surrounded by greasy snacks and a half-forgotten romcom playing on the tv.

jiwon’s laughter was a soothing touch to your nerves, but you couldn’t fully shake off the unease.

every now and then, you’d catch yourself glancing at the door, half expecting heeseung to burst in with one of his sarcastic and cocky remarks.

jiwon noticed your distraction and nudged you playfully.

“hmm.. you’re awfully quiet tonight, y/n. something on your mind?”

you hesitated, not wanting to burden her with your thoughts, but jiwon was your best friend—she’d know if you lied.

“i’m just…thinking,” you admitted, your voice soft.

“about.. heeseung?” she asked, her tone teasing, but her eyes searching yours for the truth.

you let out a small sigh. “kind of. it’s just…he always seems to be around, even when he’s not, you know? like, i can’t escape him.”

jiwon’s expression softened, and she reached out to squeeze your hand comfortingly.

“i get it. heeseung can be a pain in the ass— trust me i know, but he’s not all bad. he’s just…different. complicated.”

you raised an eyebrow at her choice of words.

“complicated? that’s one way to put it.”

before jiwon could respond, her phone buzzed with a message. she glanced at the screen and sighed.

“speak of the devil.. lia’s here.”

you swallowed the bitterness rising in your throat and forced a neutral expression.

“i guess heeseung won’t be bothering us tonight, then.”

jiwon smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“yeah, looks like it. but hey, at least we have the place to ourselves.”

you nodded, trying to focus on the positives, but your thoughts kept drifting back to the hallway where heeseung’s room was.

you couldn’t help but wonder what he saw in lia—what made her so special that he kept her close, even if they weren’t officially together.

meanwhile, in the dimly lit chambers of heeseung’s room, heeseung leaned back against the headboard of his bed, staring at the ceiling as the music throbbed around him.

his thoughts were a chaotic mess, a tangled web of frustration, confusion, and something darker that he didn’t care to name.

heeseung wasn’t blind to the way you looked at him—like he was an annoying bug buzzing around your head, one that you couldn’t quite swat away.

and in truth, he enjoyed getting under your skin— there was something oddly satisfying about watching you tense at his remarks, your sharp retorts always leaving him with a smirk on his face.

but lately, he felt that things were different—it wasn’t just about teasing you anymore.

he found himself thinking about you at the oddest times—when he was alone in his room, when he was out with friends, even when he was with lia. it was absolutely maddening.

lia. the thought of her brought a different kind of feeling.

she was everything a guy could possibly want—beautiful, confident, always ready for a good time.

their relationship was simple, uncomplicated, exactly what heeseung needed. or at least, that’s what he told himself.

but as much as lia was a distraction, she wasn’t the one occupying his thoughts at night.

that was you. and it irritated him to no end.

heeseung closed his eyes, trying to drown out the chaos in his mind with the music, but it was no use.

his thoughts kept drifting back to you—your stubbornness, your wittiness, the way you looked at him like you were always one step away from a fight.

and then there was the way you tried to hide your discomfort whenever lia was around, as if it didn’t bother you.

but heeseung saw through it. he saw the way your eyes lingered a little too long when lia was mentioned, the subtle tightening of your jaw.

he hated how much he noticed about you.

the sound of a knock on his door snapped him out of his thoughts.

heeseung sighed, knowing who it was before he even answered.

he got up, crossing the room with a tense state of mind, and opened the door to find lia standing there, a sly smile on her lips.

“hey,” she greeted, her voice smooth as silk.

“miss me?”

heeseung returned her smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“yeah.. always.”

as lia stepped inside, heeseung couldn’t shake the feeling that he was sinking deeper into a situation he couldn’t control.

and the worst part? he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to.

back in jiwon’s room, the laughter and gossip filled conversation eventually gave way to a comfortable silence as you both lay sprawled on the bed, the remnants of your snacks scattered around you.

the movie on the tv had long since been forgotten, but neither of you made the effort to switch it off.

jiwon’s breathing had evened out, signaling that she had drifted off to sleep, but you on the other hand—were wide awake.

your mind was too busy, too restless to find any peace.

all you could think about was the way heeseung’s voice had sounded earlier, muffled through the walls, when lia arrived.

there was something in his tone—something that made your chest tighten in a way that was both familiar and foreign.

you tried to shake it off, reminding yourself that heeseung was nothing more than your best friend’s annoying brother.

but it was no use. the more you tried to ignore it, the more it consumed you.

eventually, you gave up on sleep altogether and slipped out of bed as quietly as possible, careful not to wake jiwon.

the house was eerily silent as you made your way to the kitchen, the only sound the soft buzzing of the refrigerator as you poured yourself a glass of water.

you leaned against the counter, staring out the window into the dark night, eyeing the lit up stars— your thoughts were a swirling mess.

you couldn’t understand why heeseung affected you so much—why he got under your skin in a way no one else did.

and worse, why you cared so much about his relationship with lia.

it wasn’t like you had any right to feel jealous— it was really none of your business, heeseung wasn’t yours, and he never would be.

but as much as you tried to rationalize your feelings, the jealousy gnawed at you, a constant feeling that there was something between you and heeseung, something you couldn’t quite name.

lost in thought, you didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind you until it was too late.

you spun around, nearly dropping the glass in your hand, only to find heeseung standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable.

“what are you doing up? it’s late..” he asked, his voice low, almost hushed.

you tried to steady your racing heart, refusing to let him see how much he’d startled you.

“i could ask you the same thing,” you replied, your tone more defensive than you intended.

heeseung shrugged, his gaze never leaving yours. “couldn’t sleep.”

you wanted to scoff, to throw some sarcastic remark back at him, but the look in his eyes stopped you.

there was something there—something raw and vulnerable that you’d never seen before. it was like the mask he always wore had slipped, just for a moment, and you caught a glimpse of the real heeseung underneath.

“neither could i,” you admitted quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

for a moment, neither of you spoke, the tension between you thick enough to cut with a knife.

you could feel the weight of his gaze on you, intense and searching, as if he was trying to figure out what you were thinking.

and maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the same confusion, the same frustration that had been plaguing you all night.

but before either of you could say anything more, the sound of lia’s voice calling heeseung’s name from down the hall shattered the moment like glass.

heeseung’s expression hardened, the vulnerability gone as quickly as it had appeared.

“i should.. go,” he muttered, turning away before you could respond.

you watched him walk away, your heart heavy with unspoken words and unanswered questions.

and as you stood there, alone in the kitchen, you couldn’t help but wonder if things between you and heeseung had just gotten a whole lot more complicated.

the next morning, you tried to push the events of the night before out of your mind, focusing instead on your plans with jiwon.

but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the image of heeseung standing in the kitchen, the way he’d looked at you as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.

jiwon, ever the observant friend, noticed your distraction but didn’t press you for details.

instead, she dragged you out to meet some friends, hoping a change of scenery would do you good.

one of those friends was choi beomgyu, a mutual acquaintance who’d always been friendly with you but had never crossed the line into anything more.

you liked him—he was sweet, funny, and easy to talk to—but you’d never thought of him as anything other than a friend.

that is, until today.

as the group of you wandered around the city, laughing and joking like old times, you noticed something different in the way beomgyu looked at you.

his usual playful teasing had a new edge to it, something softer, more intimate.

and when he caught you returning his gaze, he smiled in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

you tried to dismiss it, telling yourself it was your imagination, but it was hard to ignore the way beomgyu’s gaze lingered on you, the way he found excuses to be close to you, his arm brushing against yours as you walked side by side.

by the time you all stopped for lunch, the tension between you and beomgyu was at an all time high.

you could feel it every time his knee bumped against yours under the table, every time his fingers ‘accidentally’ brushed yours as you reached for the same dish.

and then there was heeseung, a constant presence in the back of your mind, his face flashing before your eyes whenever beomgyu smiled at you.

you couldn’t help but compare the two—heeseung with his rough edges and sarcastic remarks, beomgyu with his gentle smiles and comforting charm.

they were like the sun and moon, and yet you couldn’t decide which one had a stronger hold on your heart, but in your heart, you knew.

as the day wore on, you found yourself drawn to beomgyu in a way you hadn’t expected.

he was so different from heeseung, so uncomplicated and straightforward— it was refreshing.

with beomgyu, there were no mind games, no hidden or longing glances—just a guy who genuinely liked you for who you were.

but even as you allowed yourself to enjoy beomgyu’s attention, a part of you couldn’t stop thinking about heeseung.

you hated that he occupied so much of your mind, especially when you were with someone as kind and attentive as beomgyu.

it wasn’t fair to him—or to you.

that night, after a long day of trying to ignore your conflicting emotions, you found yourself back in jiwon’s house, your thoughts once again consumed by the two boys who had somehow become the center of your world.

jiwon had gone to bed early, leaving you alone with your racing thoughts.

you sat on the edge of the couch, staring at the wall as the events of the day replayed in your mind.

the more you thought about it, the more confused you became.

how had things gotten so complicated? when had heeseung started to matter so much to you? and why, despite everything, did you feel guilty for even considering the possibility of something with beomgyu?

your thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

you looked up, surprised, to see heeseung standing there, his expression unreadable.

“can we uh..talk?” he asked, his voice low, almost hesitant.

you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, and heeseung stepped inside, closing the living room door behind him.

for a moment, neither of you said anything, the tension between you thick and heavy.

finally, heeseung broke the silence.

“i’ve been thinking,” he began, his eyes fixed on the floor, “about last night.”

you felt your heart rate quicken, your pulse pounding in your ears.

“well.. what about it?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

heeseung hesitated, his gaze finally meeting yours. there was something in his eyes—something vulnerable and raw that made your chest tighten.

“i didn’t mean to make things weird,” he said, his voice softer now.

“i just…i don’t know how to act around you anymore.”

the confession took you by surprise— heeseung had always been so sure of himself, so confident and assuring.

to see him like this—uncertain and vulnerable—was both unsettling and…comforting in a way.

“neither do i,” you admitted, your voice trembling with the weight of your own confusion.

heeseung took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

“it’s just…you’re different, y/n. you’re not like anyone else, and it’s driving me crazy because i don’t know what to do about it.”

your breath caught in your throat, your mind racing as you tried to process his words.

heeseung, the boy who had always seemed to take pleasure in pushing your buttons, was standing in front of you, admitting that he didn’t know how to handle his feelings for you.

before you could respond, heeseung continued, his voice laced with frustration.

“and then there’s lia. she’s…she’s easy, you know? there’s no drama, no complications. but with you…it’s different. everything’s different, and i don’t know how to handle it.”

the mention of lia sent a sharp pain through your chest, but you forced yourself to focus on what heeseung was saying.

he was opening up to you, letting you in, and you couldn’t afford to let your jealousy cloud your judgment.

“what are you trying to say, heeseung?” you asked, your voice shaking with the heaviness of the question.

heeseung sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

“i don’t know,” he admitted, his voice cracking with the weight of his own uncertainty.

“all i know is that i can’t stop thinking about you, and it’s driving me crazy because i don’t know what to do about it.”

your heart raced, your emotions a chaotic mess as you tried to make sense of everything heeseung was telling you.

he was admitting to feelings you hadn’t even been sure he was capable of, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying.

but before you could blink— heeseung closed the distance between you in one swift motion, and you quickly realized what was happening.

lee heeseung was… kissing you?

his lips crashed against yours with an intensity that took your breath away.

the kiss was desperate, full of all the feelings you’d both been holding back for so long.

and for a moment, you let yourself get lost in it, the world fading away as you focused on the way heeseung’s lips moved against yours, the way his hands tangled in your hair, pulling you closer.

but as quickly as it began, the kiss ended, and heeseung pulled away, his breathing heavy as he stared at you with wide eyes, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done.

“i’m.. oh my god— i’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice shaky as he took a step back.

“i shouldn’t have done that.”

you quickly shook your head in denial, your mind still reeling from the intensity of the kiss.

“no, hee— don’t apologize. i…heeseung, i don’t know what to say.”

heeseung ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident as he struggled to find the right words.

“i just…i can’t keep pretending like you don’t matter to me, y/n. but i don’t know how to do this. i don’t know how to be with you.”

his admission hit you like a ton of bricks, the weight of his words crashing down on you with a force you weren’t prepared for.

heeseung, the boy who had always seemed so sure of himself, was standing in front of you, admitting that he didn’t know how to handle his feelings for you.

before you could respond, heeseung took another step back, his expression pained as he looked at you with a mix of longing and regret.

“maybe it’s better if i just leave,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

panic surged through you at the thought of him walking away, and before you could stop yourself, you reached out, grabbing his arm to keep him from leaving.

“no, please.. don’t go,” you pleaded, your voice trembling with the intensity of your emotions.

heeseung stared at where your hand clung to his arm, his expression a mix of longing and uncertainty.

when he finally met your eyes, his voice was laced with pain.

"y/n, i... i don't want to hurt you," he murmured, his words trembling as they left his lips.

"but i’m not sure i can be the person you deserve. i don’t know if i can do this."

tears brimmed in your eyes, stinging as you fought to hold them back.

his honesty cut through you, exposing your deepest fear—that you were holding on to something destined to crumble.

being with heeseung was never going to be easy, you knew that—it came with the promise of complications and inevitable heartbreak.

but the thought of letting him go, of never knowing what could have been, felt unbearable.

"i don’t need you to be perfect, heeseung," you whispered, your voice breaking.

"i just need you to be real with me. i need to know if you're willing to try."

for a moment, heeseung’s resolve seemed to waver, his eyes softened— a flicker of something unspoken passing between you.

he seemed to weigh the burden of your words, his silence stretching into what felt like eternity.

finally, he nodded, though the determination in his gaze was shadowed by doubt.

"i’ll try," he said quietly, almost to himself. "i.. don’t know how, but i’ll try."

a fragile hope stirred within you, but it was laced with the lingering ache in your chest.

"that’s all i can ask for," you whispered, though the words felt heavier than before, as if they carried the weight of all your unspoken fears.

heeseung let out a shaky breath, stepping closer until you could feel the warmth of his body just inches away.

his hand reached out, hesitating before tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the touch so tender that it made your heart tighten.

the gesture felt like a fleeting moment of comfort in a storm that had no end.

"i’m scared," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, each word laced with a vulnerability that threatened to undo you.

"i don’t know how to be with you without breaking something—without breaking you."

you reached up, placing your hand over his, your touch gentle as you looked into his eyes.

“we’ll figure it out together,” you whispered, your voice filled with a quiet assurance.

“we can take it one step at a time.”

heeseung nodded, his eyes softening as he looked at you with a mix of gratitude and admiration, something that made your heart race with the possibilities of what could be.

for a moment, the two of you stood there in silence, the weight of the moment hanging heavy in the air.

and then, without another word, heeseung leaned in, once again— his lips brushing against yours in a kiss that was soft, this time gentle and pure, and filled with the promise of something more.

as you kissed him back, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of hope blooming in your chest, a hope that just maybe, things between you and heeseung could be different.

that maybe, despite all the complications and uncertainties, you could find a way to make this work.

but as much as you wanted to believe that, there was still a nagging doubt at the back of your mind—a doubt that whispered that things were never that simple, that there were still so many obstacles standing in your way— like your best friend— and his sister.

and as you pulled back from the kiss, your heart still racing with the intensity of your emotions, you couldn’t help but wonder if you were ready for what laid ahead.

if you were ready to face the challenges that came with being with someone as complicated as lee heeseung.

but as you looked into his eyes, filled with a hint of softness and uncertainty, you knew that you were willing to try.

that no matter how difficult it might be, you were willing to take the risk.

because in the end, heeseung was worth it—and you were ready to fight for whatever future that was held in store for you two.

© won4kiss 2024

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[hangup119]

don't get the deal | h. taesan (TEASER)

being the shoulder to cry on is no easy task - especially not for han taesan, who has lived almost half of his life painfully smitten over someone he is confident would never, ever think of wanting him as more than just a friend. he wonders if he will ever get out of this so-called "friend zone," or maybe he just doesn't get the deal at all.

pairing. han taesan x fem. reader

genres + warnings. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, one-sided pining, eventual happy ending, slight angst + profanity, taesan is bad at feelings, reader is even worse

playlist. don't get the deal by beabadoobee; but i like you by boy next door; somethin' stupid by frank sinatra; about a girl by nirvana; disasterology by pierce the veil; if i'm james dean, you're audrey hepburn by sleeping with sirens

expected word count. 7k-10k words | teaser word count. 1.3k words

author's note. hey goisss... ive had this in the drafts for so so long but for some reason i started working on it again and im nearing the end so hopefully this will be out very soon !!! dont quote me on that tho live laugh love user hangup119's work ethic <3 ALSO btw this teaser is like a flashback kinda thing but the real story actually takes place in their college days

@onedoornet | reblogs appreciated!

IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU RUINED TAESAN'S LIFE FOREVER.

To be more specific, it was during your last year of high school when he realized that there was simply no way he was ever going to win you over. Not now, and certainly not ever.

Because here’s the thing: Taesan was not a bad-looking guy, he’s far from it, actually. In fact, he had enough business cards from agency recruiters that could fit a whole shoe box, so his looks clearly were never the problem here. Was it his personality, then? Probably not that, either. He was pretty chill most of the time, and he had never really acted up around anyone unless it truly called for it. He always made sure that he wasn’t making a fool out of himself around you, and there were never really incidents that could have painted him in a bad light in your eyes. He had decent grades, so he wasn’t stupid either, which was one of your major turn-offs. And he was sporty—he participated in the school’s soccer team, and he even had a bunch of fans giggling over him whenever he so much as passed them by while chasing after the ball, so his popularity was pretty decent too.

Was he simply not… your type? But that couldn’t be—you were always making heart eyes at Park Sunghoon who was two grades above, and he was told all the time that he was basically a lookalike of the guy! Not to mention you were always at Jung Sungchan’s games, cheering his name even when the guy was literally being benched. Taesan never got benched. He was the star player of his soccer team. You fawned over Park Wonbin when he performed at the school’s talent show, but Taesan could also sing and play the electric guitar just as well. You squealed over Lee Sohee because he was sooo cute! but Taesan knew how to get real fucking adorable, too! He practically had all of their qualities combined into one, and not once did you ever look back at him. 

And that’s when it hit him. 

It was prom that night, and he was off at the corner drinking from a cup of water instead of jumping along with the fray and bouncing up and down to some Drake song when his friend, Kim Leehan, approached him. 

“I’m not slow-dancing with you, Leehan,” he muttered, taking another sip of his bland water. “Piss off.”

Leehan raised his arms in response, smiling in a way that was just so Leehan-like of him. “Woah, woah, I get it. Someone pissed in your cup, or something? Literally and figuratively,” he laughed, leaning against the wall next to him. “Lighten up for once, ‘san. It’s your first and last prom, you know?” 

Taesan only grunted in return. 

“Look at you; so emo tonight,” Leehan said, defeated. He followed the other’s gaze towards the dance floor, where everyone is packed together like a can of sardines. “But you’re always so normal around Y/N.” 

Taesan paused.

Leehan laughed again. “Hm, maybe not?” 

Sometimes, it was both a blessing and a curse to be friends with someone like Kim Leehan. 

“Stop talking about things you already know,” Taesan murmured, chucking the water cup into the trash can a few meters away. He placed his hands inside his pockets, looking straight ahead amidst the dizzying lights and the dispersed crowd now that a slow song started playing.

“Why don’t you go ask her for a dance?” Leehan suggested, signaling towards the dance floor. 

“She’s literally holding hands with Yang Jungwon right now,” Taesan deadpanned. “Are you kidding me? How’d she get him of all people as her prom date?” 

Scoring the smartest and the most popular student in your school has got to be the biggest flex of your high school career. Taesan had almost no complaints except for the fact that Yang Jungwon was your date instead of—him! Any moment now and he’d be losing his mind. Actually, scratch that, he probably already was. 

Leehan hummed. 

“Do you think,” he began, slowly, darting his line of sight between you who’s giggling at something Yang Jungwon said, before turning back to Taesan, the angstiest kid he’s ever known. “That, maybe, if you had just asked her out to prom with you… then maybe she’d have said yes?” 

Finally, the gears inside Taesan’s head started to turn. Leehan smiled at the sight.

Taesan quickly scoffed. “No way,” he denied, crossing his arms. “Why would she go with me when she’s got Yang Jungwon as her date? It’d only happen in my dreams.” 

He figured it out anyway. It wasn’t because he wasn’t as handsome as Park Sunghoon, or as sporty as Jung Sungchan, or as musically talented as Park Wonbin (though he’d beg to differ), or as cute as Lee Sohee. Heck, it wasn’t even because he wasn’t as smart or as popular as Yang Jungwon. 

Maybe it was never because of those things that made you look at them instead of him. 

Maybe you were just never interested in him at all. 

And Taesan will have no other choice but to live with that fact forever. 

Leehan’s smile dropped, and he peeled himself away from the wall. Just as he was about to leave, he stopped for a second just to say: “You’re so—stubborn.” 

Taesan looked at him indignantly. “...What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Leehan shrugged, finally walking away. “You tell me, dude.” 

And then he was gone, rushing off to join the rest of their friends while Taesan stayed in the back, alone and miserable all because of his newfound epiphany. Though he supposed he was already miserable the moment you entered the venue with Yang Jungwon right beside you. 

It was a time of new beginnings for Taesan; a time to finally move on from you. 

Though, if only it was that easy.

Two weeks later, when you were working on a final project with him, you unexpectedly dropped the news that you and Jungwon have broken up. Because Jungwon was going to some Ivy League, and you were decidedly… not. You couldn’t handle the thought of being long-distance, so you decided to just cut things off with him since it can’t be helped, you know? And then you proceeded to laugh it off with that huge, idiotic smile of yours before continuing on with the project. Taesan didn’t know what was so funny.

Eventually, he had to share his water with you when you started sobbing hysterically inside of the library, hiccuping and all. 

He admittedly felt awful seeing you cry over Yang Jungwon, your high school boyfriend of probably only two months, but most importantly, he felt awful because of the relief that suddenly washed over him. 

…And what did that make Taesan?

So, really, maybe it was for the better that you would never look at Taesan the way he wished you would. That no matter how many times he has lent you an ear to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, you never bothered to stop for a moment and think that hey, maybe this guy likes me to some capacity, and maybe I should give him a chance. Because what kind of friend is he to feel relieved at the fact that you had gotten dumped by your boyfriend? That when your heart was broken, he could only rejoice at the fact that he now has a higher chance of getting with you once again even when it is so clear that he never once did? 

How could he sit next to you and think such thoughts? 

And yet, even when you keep jumping from one person to another, falling for someone, crying over another—Taesan will always be there for you when it all comes crashing down. A friend to cheer you on, to lift you up, to steady you—because that’s all he’ll ever be to you. 

Han Taesan was only seventeen years old when you ruined his life. 

And for what it is worth, he is still in love with you.

story by hangup119. do not steal.