#I’m really scared

[fuckdanhowell]

why did he go back and heart it like this isn’t funny.

[weezerlvr228]

so awesomeness ….

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Only one day left, don’t know if I should cry because it’s the last episode or prepare myself for the worst possible outcome

[inkyself]

I think we sometimes tend to dehumanize people who did horrible things to remove ourselves from even considering we could be capable of evil, at the expense of understanding our reality as humans beings and how we live as a society. I was reading some takes on a character on a show that slept with a nazi soldier and I was surprised to see that there was no compassion at all for her actions. We think all nazis and all fascists were some kind of monsters from the start without individual differences, and that is so dangerous. It’s what’s happening in Europe right now: people vote for far right parties because they underestimate the ties said parties have with that part of history. Because they have individual differences and these politicians aren’t violent. But do you think Hitler started out burning people alive? Do you think Fascism’s first action was Matteotti’s murder? To quote an italian writer who recently passed away, Michela Murgia: “Do you think fascism comes knocking at your door with truncheons and a black shirt?” It doesn’t. Nazis and fascists were just soldiers and neighbors and parents and friends. We all let slide an homophobic or sexist comment at some point in our life. We heard an uncle say that we should let immigrants die in the Mediterranean Sea if they chose to take that chance. How many of our grandparents are anti-abortion? Maybe some of us slept with a fascist (insert obligatory Calcutta quote here). We are underestimating the current political situation because we think history like that was done by monsters. It wasn’t. Just like it isn’t now. The people who voted en mass for the far right in these elections, they grew up in our same cities and witnessed the same problems we have. They are people inhabiting and living in our same spaces.

[clonegirlie]

Reaction to Bad Batch S03 Ep14

I was so scared when the empire knew they were coming from the beginning 😭

Echo being a badass again is just everything, the real reason why they didn’t bring him back earlier was because everything would’ve been way more efficient

WE SAW THE ZILO BEAST!! I need to know if I’m not the only one thinking that Omega and the kids are going to connect with it and escape with that, cause that’s my theory

Definitively wasn’t expecting the Echo-Emerie teamwork but I’m here for it. And I love that Emerie has come to her senses and is going to help the kids scape

I’m scared for the ending but also so excited I can’t wait! Also I hope the last episode is an hour long cause I’m gonna lose it if it’s short, there’s to many things that need to happen!

[valeovalairs]

oh this is a trap. This is such a trap. There’s no way it’s not a trap.

[cb-writes-stuff]

Asks will have to wait until I’m not

Whatever this is

I don’t know

[that-jack-kline-bestie]

I think I went through an autism regression or burnout and just masked it really really hard

[thewarmestbediveeverknown]

Two more sleeps until ttpd and I already know it’s going to destroy me

[howlingdemon13]

Wondering how much this trip to urgent care is going to cost me. ✌️🙃

[clownboybebop]

Well now that I am out of 2 of my three antidepressants for the forseeable future, I guesss I’m gonna start posting some real bangers

[wipeawaythosetearsofbloodagain]

Exactly one week until my piano recital

[odi-et-amo-star]

auditioned for the school play today

[yvmoveon]

z

[transboysoprano]

God dammit I feel like I need to talk about this. So, any of my other choral nuts may or may not know that VOCES8 is starting a new professional group in the United States. A treble ensemble. An ensemble like this is something that I've been waiting for since I've been in high school and I've been trying to act like it's not a big deal.

Lately, I’ve been really distant from my musician side and focusing a lot more on my trans side. It’s the off-season and I celebrated Pride Month really hard. Go figure. But it’s been so easy to pretend like I don’t have these degrees in vocal performance and vocal chamber music and that I’ve wanted to be in a full-time professional ensemble that previously didn’t exist since for me since I’ve been twelve years old.

It's a full-time professional choir for treble voices based in the United States run by my favorite choir of all time. For context, there are no full-time professional choirs that voices like mine can even be a part of in the United States right now. Only "men's choirs." If I weren't going through this vocal gender dysphoria thing right now, this would've been some thing I'd be foaming at the mouth for. It’s the thing I’ve always wanted, even tried to form myself. (I started a treble ensemble with the intention of growing it to professional level some years ago, but my rehearsal leadership skills are subpar so I asked a friend to direct for me, and she insisted it needed to be a “women only safe space” so I quit my own choir 🤦‍♂�� they’re still singing today and sound pretty good btw).

But anyway, I was hanging out with a friend today and told her about the whole thing and was pretty wishy-washy about whether I was going to audition or not, told her I’m this close to giving up on the dream of being a professional choral musician and taking the hormones and just starting my whole life over and not auditioning means I don’t have to keep trying to be a soprano and not transitioning because it’s what my adolescent self wanted for me, and got himself $60k in student loan debt for. I thought she’d get it but she basically chewed me out, saying that I really need to audition and try to make that dream a reality.

I need to make fourteen years of college and young artist programs and suffering through community choirs and trying to start my own professional groups pay off. I need to put to rest the yearning and crying over a dream that feels more like a death sentence these days. If I do this, then I will have done it. I want to be a part of this group so badly. I need them to accept me. I want to sing with them for as long as it makes sense, and then I can finally say all those years were worth it. My younger self can feel satisfied with the work I have done, I will have accomplished the task I set for myself when I was a child and didn’t know trans people existed, and then I can finally get the fuck on with the rest of my life. I can go to the gender clinic and get the testosterone and ruin my “beautiful” “god-given” “perfect” soprano voice and finally be fucking happy.

[lauryn-order]

I’m officially moving into my parent’s house this weekend. Something I promised myself I’d never do again when I was kicked out at 17. This is absolutely without a doubt my worst case scenario.

I’m officially losing my cat on Saturday. The only being that keeps me sane. I feel like I’ve failed her. I don’t know when I’ll get to see her again. She’s going to be so hurt. She was so happy here. She’s not going to understand.

I am falling apart. I’m devastated. That doesn’t even come close to describing how I really feel.

I’ve officially lost everything but my friends.

I tried. Gourd knows I’ve tried. But I have no more moves or options.

I’m empty. I’m lost. I’m defeated.