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m0e-ru · 3 years

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eight months in somebody actually asked me abt visualive instead of me immediately annoying ppl about it without former notice. I might actually write properly for once 😳😳😳

OK OK!!!!! In this essay I will.... I will.... Visualive Adachi.... Visu/BURSTS INTO TEARS/

OKAY OKAY for real I just care Visualive so much (as someone who can’t fully understand Japanese AHAHA)

First I’ll add some foundation about what Visualive really is, then I talk abt Adachi in the latter parts of it because this is technically the first time I’m properly talking about this hehe 🐿

T....table of contents???

Visualive

Visualive the Evolution

Masami Itou

Visualive Adachi

Visualive the Evolution Adachi

Terms and Legend

VL - Visualive

VLE - Visualive the Evolution

stage - shortened for “stageplay”

面白い - omoshiroi (it’s just that specific)

Yuuya - VL Hero name

Hayato - VLE Hero name

Baba - Hero

Masami - Adachi

Taniguchi - Dojima

Saotome - Daisuke

Mamiya - Izanami

I add honorifics but sometimes I forget the hyphen intentionally or unintentionally I’m sorry if it makes it hard to read lol

all links have automatic timestamps for easy viewing. i mean. i hope the timestamps work

VISUALIVE “Persona 4.” A stage adaptation of SMT: Persona 4 by Atlus. It adapts the first part of the story, from the hero’s arrival to after recovering Mitsuo Kubo from the TV world. It also ends on a cliff hanger, showing a teaser of Shadow Naoto being projected on the screen.

It takes up a speedy recapitulation of the hero’s spring life, before slowing down and showing in depth his school life in summer. A day before Morooka-sensei’s death, there is a little skit with Kou, Daisuke and Adachi. The hero walks into the conversation before the two other boys leaving, and Morooka-sensei walking in on the student and detective. The next day follow’s the teacher’s death and the Investigation Team (IT) begin investigating their new lead.

From the words “visual” and “alive,” the niche of this stage was meant to be the fusion of live acting and visual digital projections. All seen from the stageplay with the colorful cast of actors and CG animations being projected on the screen. This offers an opportunity for characters to summon their personas, perform cool visual effects, change the backdrop, or even confront their own Shadows.

Performed in Sunshine Theater from the 15th to the 20th of March 2012. The screenplay was written and directed by Shintaro Asanuma from the theatrical group “bpm.” The video production produced by Shutaro Oku, a film director and visual planner. He later takes over as director for VISUALIVE THE EVOLUTION, the sequel stage. The stage music was produced by Shunsuke Wada, with a special show exclusive vocal track sung by Shihoko Hirata.

On this note, I haven’t seen any sort of original soundtrack released for any of the stages and I’m SO SAD. The last song in Mitsuo’s boss fight was such a BANGER and literally EVERYTHING ELSE Marvelous, Wadasan please take my MONEY

Regarding the cast, there were some special accommodations for Teddie, Rise, and Nanako, all of which did not have live actors at the time. During the casting, actors for the three characters could not be found or simply left the directors unsatisfied they couldn’t cast anybody. An exception for Rise, who was able to have a live actor in the sequel stage. It has been stated that there weren’t any “pretty boy” actors that fit the “Teddie Criteria.” While there weren’t any child actors that were believed to portray Nanako well.

Teddie was only ever seen in his bear costume while Rise was busy talking through a call, all voiced by their video game cast. Nanako has never appeared on stage, only being scarcely mentioned in the script. Again, this is different in the sequel stage where her role was extremely important and was shown as a screen projection.

VISUALIVE “Persona 4” THE EVOLUTION. A sequel stage. Beginning abruptly in the middle of Shadow Naoto’s boss fight, the story continues from there until the “true end” of the game’s original story. *Certain characters are introduced while others have been reintroduced. And on a personal note, when it’s all comedic in the beginning, it’s all for what’s coming right after.

I don’t know if I’m salty or just find it really funny AHAHA I might go talk abt it some other day with more context ehehe

Performed in The Galaxy Theater from the 3rd to the 9th of October 2012, only a few months after the PSVITA Persona 4 Golden release, which is July 2012. The screenplay was now written by Jun Kumagi while directed by Shutaro Oku. And music production finally taken over by Shoji Meguro himself.

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HAHAHA this is starting to look like a wiki page. moving on. I might start rambling rn

(warning LONG !!!! aaa,,)

My thoughts on the stage adaptations. For the first Visualive (VL) I believe it’s pretty close to canon! I enjoy the characterization and how much love and care was present when handling the entire production.

Actors were busy playing the game itself, wherein a PS2 was present in the practice room. Along with magazines and game guides explaining the game’s story and the characters itself. Actors performing together and even improv acting together to get a grasp of their characters. All of them knowing well of Persona 4 as a well loved game, delicately handling their characters and hopefully performing them right while making the audience happy.

The staff taking care of each other while the director and video producer, Asanuma-san and Oku-san, working together well to make their vision into a reality.

The same thing happened with VL the Evolution (VLE) and literally every other good stage. Except... I feel the script kinda got out of hand with too much liberty where it feels a bit more disconnected from canon. But! It makes up for it in its content, whether comedic or (INCREDIBLY) dramatic! It’s great as its own story at that point. So in this case, I like to take the first VL and get to connect it canon, while I don’t know what the hell happened in VLE to the point I’ll just enjoy it as its own content.

These opinions deserve its own essay, post whatever bc I have SO much to say abt this. ANYWAY. VL ADACHI

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Tohru Adachi is portrayed by Masami Itou (伊藤マサミ), a screenplay writer, director and an stage actor himself. He does have a single character voice role along with a fellow troupe member in the same franchise, but mostly works as the former three. He is part of Asanuma-san’s entertainment group “bpm.” On a similar note, Masashi Taniguchi, Dojima’s actor, was also part of their group from 2011 to 2016, which may explain their good synergy as the boss and the bumbling fool dynamic. I mean, somebody’s gotta get hit in the head every few skits.

With Masami-san being an important part of the cast, he doesn’t appear as often as Taniguchi-san in backstage content like the VL bonus disk or the official blog. Mentioned in his own personal blog, he had been busy with his roles as assistant director (I am assuming also for VL).

Also fun to note, because his role is mainly comic relief, he has been using his liberty to change up the material almost everyday making each performance exciting. This also leaves some other actors jealous of his freedom in his role, such as Saotome-san, Daisuke’s actor.

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VL Adachi really has a... how do I say this? an adorable speech pattern (THE SAME SPEECH PATTERN THAT DROVE ME MAD TRYING TO DECIPHER I THOUGHT YOU WERE A CITY BOY OSSU OSSU MY ASS /shakes you violently/). Overall, he really fits the loose lipped bumbling fool, and his accent really makes him seem more casual and invested. What I’m saying is... VL Adachi either actually has genuine empathy or he actually has more energy to fake it (compared to some other edgelord. i mean you saw my p4ga analysis. I’m sick of him lol ahaha).

One of my favorite ways to explain this (OTHER THAN CHAIR CAR ADVENTURE MY BELOVED WE’LL GET TO THAT LATER) is the rice field scene with him and Dojima. It’s overanalyzation time 🎉

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(43:04)

While investigating, Adachi whines about being tired while Dojima smacks him in the head. In this case, it’s established that Adachi doesn’t want to be there, yes? It’s the country, it’s hot and it smells like green.

"Ah... Dojima-san..! Why don't we take a break? (...) There really is nothing out here... Is the criminal still even here at all? (...) I wonder if I've passed being a rookie yet. Haha, but this city doesn't even have convenient transportation. I can't go to leisure lands (recreation, amusement parks, arcades, ect.) and head home at all."

Adachi then tries to tell Dojima a story. “when I got to this city after being newly assigned, I met an interesting guy (...) Yeah, I remember that the cherry blossoms haven't bloomed yet. So, I was driving my car and got near the station and--” Dojima gets a phone call.

Adachi politely puts his hands down waiting for his boss to finish so he can finish the story. Again and again, Adachi attempts to talk to Dojima about a story he’s so persistent trying to tell someone about. It was so 面白い that he would find someone to talk to about it. Even being polite and patient enough to wait for a chance to speak. He even gets fed up with it and blows up in front of his boss, clearly irritated he’s not given a chance to talk.

Sure, it could be Adachi feeling fed up like a normal person where someone agreed he to listen to him, before being constantly ignored. Or Adachi trying to be a more annoying whiny brat, depending on where you look at it.

If the story wasn’t too “interesting” to Adachi, he would’ve just brushed it off and stopped talking to Dojima entirely, or start up new small talk, or even complain some more. But no, he had a story he wanted to voice out so bad that he got irritated that the one person in the vicinity couldn’t listen to him.

Only after Dojima told him to continue their investigation elsewhere did Adachi finally stop and focus on something else. Maybe that story was for another day, or maybe it was never meant to be told.

What if it was just original (game) Adachi? He’d find a way to squirrel out of the investigation as usual, or push Dojima to “investigate” elsewhere. “Hey boss, don’t you think it’s hot? Why don’t we go elsewhere? We’ve seen this place too many times to count and I doubt anything new’ll turn up. How about we take a break at Junes, y’know? Where it’s cool? C’mon boss,” something like that.

og Adachi is just really annoying and silly to me. Some grown man thinking he can freeload because he never gets anything out of putting in more energy and effort? I don’t care how tall he is, I will smack him in the head.

Yeah VL Adachi whines, too, but at least it doesn’t look like he’s going to escape and waste his time somewhere else. He just sucks it up stops trying to leave the situation.

Or maybe I’m getting this all wrong and VL is exactly the same and my rage just gets dampened because of Masamisan’s execution of character hmm...

SO. What was his story about anyway? The one he really wanted to share to Dojima?

I mean... it’s obvious enough

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First day in town? Spring? Actually mentioned driving a car when literally out of every single persona 4 media at the time was there not a SINGLE mention of Adachi having a car OTHER THAN the same stageplay it’s being mentioned in?

A story, from somewhere around uhh four? five months ago? was something that he remembered so dearly and was willing to share despite it obviously embarrassing him even if he puts the blame on a certain somebody in the same story?

Or maybe it’s because he really had nothing to talk about ever since he realized all his stories from the city weren’t actually that funny or interesting in the first place.

BUT then that would mean out of all the things he could talk about—more whining, complaining, complimenting, small talk—he insisted about talking about this story in particular.

Okay, look. I’m just. Just. As someone who talks too much, of course I have things I actually want people to hear out of all the bullshit that comes out of my mouth. And if the thing I actually want people to listen to doesn’t even get heard, I’d go mad.

Sure, Adachi’d be fine when his complaints or intentionally unfunny jokes get brushed off. But a story of a guy that he thought was so funny, interesting, 面白い gets ignored, he really blew up, even just for a split second, maybe.

And ALL the things that happened in that story—on his first day in Inaba! His car got dented, he had to deal with a weirdo dumbass employee that knew zero personal space, yelled in his ear, who didn’t know how to do their job, got his station reputation messed up on the first day, got his ass grabbed, got (unintentionally?) mocked for his lame stories, and got his car dented for the SECOND time. Probably MORE

And he STILL wanted to talk about it /punches through concrete wall/

yes I’m overthinking about this of course i am

This little tidbit of VL Adachi kinda makes me go insane sometimes—his entire characterization in VL in particular. It was really refreshing to see and how they included both of his characters in it, his facade and how irritated he is of a lot of things underneath. And how flexible his character is immediately working with other characters when there’s sudden improv to balance the situation. Like him and Dojima, Morooka, the attendant, or even Yuuya (hero) himself.

I’ll take Taniguchi-san’s messing around in the VL bonus backstage disc in place of Masami-san being so busy he couldn’t appear in it as often as other characters.

For stagetime that lasted for fifteen minutes or less, my appreciation for VL Adachi, even if he was just comic relief, really rocketed. I say VL, bc Adachi the edgelord he’s supposed to be in literally every other media is something I analyze separately.

I haven’t even gotten to VLE oh my GODDDDD

Like I said, I don’t really regard VLE close to canon but as something to be appreciated for what it is by itself. But the way Adachi was characterized there, in or out of character, still struck me.

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Yes, there was his strange fan-agreed-canon which is,,, now canon obsession with cabbages (not that that’s a bad thing lmao). There was also him being a lot more jumpy and intimate in a clowny way, patting people on the shoulder or even downright hugging them just to mess around. Even FORGETTING who the same goddam loser who grabbed his ass almost a year ago is. But like, can’t blame him they literally changed their actor (and screenplay writer) AHAHAHA

ha... no more comedy, only dorky sword fights now

(speaking of sword fights I think it’s a fun thought how Mamiya-san [Izanami, also one of the youngest in the cast] admitted it was his first time doing sword fight choreography and even thanked Masami-san and other staff members for guiding him)

One thing unintentionally in character was Adachi accidentally nabbing the sushi overdosed in wasabi. Masami-san didn’t actually account for a joke sushi and didn’t immediately eat it—until Taniguchi-san (who also made Dojima go off his shits compared to VL) jokingly yelled at him and even riled up the audience for him to eat it. He even went off stage to get water just for him to eat the goddam sushi.

And Masami-san did! (kinda choked, but he’s fine).

Continuing from the same scene, while being overly giddy about sushi dinner (and I mean overly--he was singing about it while hopping to the Dojima residence), he tried to remind the two, Dojima and Hayato (hero), that Nanako was sleeping. Probably where she was sick if the scene was translated from the game.

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(30:07)

And... the dramatic parts of VLE

Adachi was the one who reported to the IT that Dojima was chasing Namatame in the rain. While Naoto was discussing Namatame’s journal entries, Adachi, as giddy as he is, took it from Naoto’s hands and reveled in the discovery of evidence so childishly(?). He even ran to Dojima when he began regaining consciousness and immediately called the nurses to help him wheel Dojima to the ER.

Then, The Hospital Scene™️, right after Nanako flatlines.

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(1:02:02)

Adachi, who recently walked into the scene, immediately worries about Dojima and IT who were ALL crying. He looks down, devastated—before yelling how Dojima’s heading to Namatame’s room.

He yells in terror and the same grief at his injured boss, all while running past and even jumping over children, who fell to the ground sobbing, to get to him. He continues yelling in a pained fashion while immediately reprimanding Dojima to stop. He gets carried by the collar before being tossed to the ground at Hayato’s feet, all while being pat by the same boy.

Dojima makes his speech about how unfair it is for the ‘killer’ to be alive when his daughter isn’t. When he finally falls to his knees, Adachi rises from the ground, humbly saying he’ll do his best to take care of Dojima (or something like that I’m in tears I literally can’t do VLE’s hospital scene i h8 this). He finally starts crying along with everyone else, being pushed away again but still tries again, trying to usher his boss away from the door.

With the help of the guard in front of the door, they all disappear off stage

please... I know this scene doesn’t need that much translation because of how important this scene is in the entire story. and I know my narratives aren’t enough so just,,,, just watch it please it’s so much more than this. everyone’s acting was just spectacular

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(1:08:47)

So, after the IT (YOSUKE. JUST YOSUKE. good job Mae-chan) stop themselves from k wording Namatame, it was ADACHI who reported Nanako’s miracle recovery. He ran to the same corridor where they all cried in, even panting and falling to the ground in relief trying to report the good news. Then he pats Hayato on the shoulder and says he’s going to Dojima.

With this... /slaps roof of half of VLE/ ALL of this....adachi.... adachisan.... he Cares™️..... holy shit.....

now. comparing to the game. do you even remember what og Adachi did? did he.. even do anything?????

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(56:39)

NO!!! he just stood there!!!! being a bumbling fool but.... inappropriately!!! man. he didn’t act concerned enough.

adachi: /walks into a bunch of kids crying outside a hospital room/ “lmao why tf are y’all crying? did uhhh what’s her face uhhh nanako. did she d word or something? rip, I guess lol” LIKE????? CAN YOU IMPLY FASTER

and then he’s like “wgat hmm Where’s Dojima-san Heading Because That’s Not The Way To His Room 🤔” and only when he’s asked he actually mentions he’s heading to Namatame’s room and still needs to get choked by a first year for the room number like..... zero consideration

and his boss??? where his daughter he loves so much just??? di*s???? and he’s so devastated he’s doing what he can that very moment while he’s so numbed of thinking of the consequences???? And adachi goes “uhh boss that’s illegal” LIKE. BITCH. /punches through a concrete wall but harder/

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And??? His confrontation scene??? Like, I know they mashed it up w his tv confession scene to save stagetime for other scenes BUT IT WAS SO MMBMBMBMMGN /gestures in a good way/

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(1:15:56)

UM?? guy behind everything??? in a vulnerable area where he could easily get physically assaulted bc hes not in the tv world w his persona?? Trash talks women like he absolute misogynist he is??? getting yelled at by a bunch of kids and YELLING BACK IN THE SAME AGITATED MANNER even TAUNTING THEM then and there to GET HIS ASS?????

og Adachi was such a pussy he got caught and just scurried off into the TV world where he ended up having powers like...ok....scared of getting beat down by a bunch of highschoolers unless you have powers...ok....

he only taunted them to get him when he was in the tv world too.....he rlly couldn’t say shit in the real world huh... lol

(yeah yeah this shows how VLE Adachi knew abt his TV world powers which would make you think if he ever went into the tv world and came back out alive. Or he’s really just a badass who doesnt give a shit abt anyone’s opinions and CAN beat anyone’s ass. i have a separate thing abt this but bc i like to laught at vle rather than overthink its own lore i might. not. idk lol)

and ??? VLE Adachi can??? He can swordfight??? he doesn’t even NEED a gun—he even reflects bullets w his blade (but apparently he can still get slapped by a flying fan more often than any other attack). His fight choreo was just...so poggers. He’s like short villains done good—like??? he’s short compared to everyone else!!! but he makes up for it for stuffing all the energy inside him while is bursts out making him him the over energetic gremlin he is!!! go VL adachi!!!!

(am I low key making fun of Madono-san in the TUUSH stageplay I’ve seen four minutes of? maybe)

OK!!! Yes I was gushing abt Masami-san again back to Adachi.

It’s portrayed that while not being afraid to admit his crimes, he also goes out of his way to be a bastard and have the gall to get a bunch of kids to fight him, one on eight. He can use a katana, probably a narrative dark reflection of the hero, Hayato which I thought was nice—and he can fight!!! It also shows his persona, yes, but...it doesn’t make it clear if he’s overwhelmed by his Shadow like in the game, where his eyes were yellow and he was emitting a dark aura.

But it gets interesting how he sees he’s getting overwhelmed and starting to lose his edge towards a bunch of kids. He falls to the ground even banging the floor like a whiny brat while literally the IT tries to tell him to turn himself in. Again, like a brat he tells everyone to shut up—before getting incapacitated. While some of the IT rejoice, he bolts up unaccepting of his defeat—before getting hit in the stomach.

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(1:23:54)

And his words from when he drops his katana, “Why..?” He grabs the foldable chair against his stomach, and with a remorseful look in his eyes, he says “I’m sorry..!”

THEN HE BACKFLIPS—then Hayato slashes him.

In a tone of disbelief, he goes “no way...” and collapses to the ground, being possessed by Ame-no-Sagiri.

Blah blah blah then Teddie rockets himself into the eyeball spy cam and then they both explode aaaaa

Teddie survives but I really don’t know where Adachi went. Not even a mention by Dojima if he turned himself in or was ever found—or I need to review VLE for the 48274827482nd time hehe

WHOO then the whole cast appears for the dance number at the end of show YAHOO

#long post #persona 4 #persona 4 visualive #persona 4 visualive the evolution #tohru adachi #sulululat #pagsususuri #p4 #p4v #p4ve #//HAPPY 4K WORDS VL ANON #// if theres anything u want to ask... im right here /collapses/#// i almost went ham over actor relationships like. talking abt bpm was ENOUGHHH we're talking about the character not the assistant direct #// aaa this took so long... i literally mashed up so many other idea documents into one.. man.

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ddaenggtan · 5 years

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black irises in the sunshine | kth

anger is everything. other gods tease you for the short fuse, but it comes with the territory. people have called you stupid, have called you dumb, oafish, useless, incompetent, insolent, rude, arrogant. all of it. insults and mockery flung at you, but even your skin isn’t thick enough to deal with constant abuse. it’s the exact reason you keep going to the underground, knuckles bloody and bruised, fighting anyone that dared enter the cage. it’s the reason you go to the clubs, surround yourself with mortals and their writhing bodies. it’s there that you see him the first time, voice husky as it rolls through the room. it’s there you find someone who treats you differently than the rest. you just never expected him to be one of the muses. | monsters and gods pt 3 (masterlist)

pairing | taehyung x reader

genre/warnings | greek god au, calliope!taehyung, ares!reader, theres a lot of violence and it does get descriptive so be aware of that, none of the main characters other than ares get hurt and its not uncalled for or anything in a narrative sense, so just be aware of that; there are mentions of other idols, but if you can guess them you get a cookie because they are Vague; suuuuper bisexual Ares, Ares Can Step On Me, like I am SO gay for her it isn’t funny; explicit smut ft: cunnilingus, taeHUNG bc hes got MASSIVE SCHLONG, some body worship kind of and then just....regular worship? like? idk how to explain that? lots of praise and lots or orgasms

word count | 14k | cross posted to ao3

a/n | HOOOOOOO this has been sitting in my google docs for literal months waiting for an ending and i decided to try to get it out for tae's birthday bUT that didn't work because i have a Job and shit so YEET I GUESS HAPPY FUCKIN NEW YEAR??? LIKE??? YEEEEEEEEEEEEE this fic is very near to me because Ares is my sweet sad angry babie and i love her, and i love tae and i love suho and i love the muses and i just........lOVE this fic like i think this is currently my favorite of the mag series so!! i hope yall also enjoy it!!!! yall are welcome to send me messages about this even tho I'm terrible at replying to them in a timely manner!! thanks to everyone who helped me with this, and everyone who has expressed interest in it, and everyone who has ever read anything of mine, because you're genuinely the best people ever, and this is literally a gift to y'all because you deserve it.

Fuck, that was too hard .

The guy across from you goes flying, hitting the chain link wall of the cage harder than you intended. Every nerve ending in your body is on fire, and even holding back, you've got a better buzz than even the best nectar can give. Your blood sings as the guy gets back up, and you almost wish you could remember his name, because he's put up a hell of a fight. For a mortal, anyway.

He charges at you again, and time slows as your vision tunnels. You can see the feint as he decides on it, how he hesitates in bringing his left up. You wait, watching him get closer and closer. You start to dart to your left, letting him think he's got you, before you side-step and dart to your right instead. His punch goes wide as you steady your balance and move. The top of your foot connects with his ribcage and the resulting crack of bone is lost amid the cheers and yells of the audience.

Your opponent steps back and you're proud of the way he doesn't show the pain. He doesn't wince, doesn't move to touch the spot you hit, just tightens his stance and clenches his jaw. It's only you that notices the hitch in his breath, the way he flinches with every inhale. Your eyes narrow at that, zeroing in on the rib. You'd meant to just crack it, had been holding back most of your strength to keep from hurting him too seriously, but as he steps forward, you can see the way he grits his teeth against the pain.

The fight leaves you immediately, like a bucket of cold water straight to the chest, and you drop your hands.

"Yield." He just stares at you, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Yield to me, and then go to the doctor."

"I'm not gonna yield," He says. He spits a mouthful of blood out onto the floor. "I'm not weak."

"Seriously, dude," You insist. "You're not gonna win this, and I don't want to hurt you more."

His scoff has you seeing red. "As if a princess like you could hurt me."

Your fist connects with his face before either of you registers that you've moved. There's a voice in the back of your head reminding you that he's just mortal, he can't take the same kind of beating you can, but it's lost in the haze of fury. The next thing you know, the ref is dragging you away and slamming you into the cage wall. Your opponent is being dragged out - you still don't know his name - and he looks beaten senseless. Victory rolls through you accompanied by a sick satisfaction at the way his blood looks decorating the canvas beneath your feet.

It lasts for less than an hour. It's always like this; the thrill of the fight, the burn of success, it's gone faster than you can blink. It's what drives you to keep fighting, to keep going to match after match, just to seek out the under-the-table stuff afterwards. It's never enough, not anymore. Back in the old days, they'd let you fight anything. Bears, bulls, lions, giants, anything they could get a noose around long enough to point it at a colosseum. That was a long time ago, though, before all the rights movements happened. You won't lie: you miss fighting beasts like that. The sheer power and strength they have, the survival instinct that makes them such fierce competitors, it's so much better than the rules and regulations of the mortal world now. Fights have gotten dull, rehearsed, more like a performance or a show than an actual fight. People make more money losing than they do winning and it's made the world boring.

You flex your hand as you open the door to your favorite bar. Something caught it at some point in the last fight, a cheekbone or a tooth, and it stings a little. Doesn't hurt, not exactly, not for a goddess, but it did enough that you feel it at all, which means it couldn't have been anything but torture for the guy on the other end. The bartender waves at you and gets your usual ready as you sit, and you idly wonder if Busted Rib Guy will be okay. It looked painful, for a human, and you'd tried to hold back, but…

Well, you weren't really responsible for what happened to condescending little fucks, were you?

You sip the bourbon, enjoying the burn as it goes down. The lights are dim, tonight. You're glad. You don't want to deal with people looking at you, men coming over to talk to you, trying to advise you on how to properly bandage your knuckles or how to avoid the bruise on your cheek next time. If you had wanted to avoid it, you would have. You'd intended it to hurt worse, honestly, but that first guy'd had a weaker right hook than you expected.

You look around, wondering if anyone here would provide a decent distraction for the night. There's a pretty brunette in the corner with carefully crafted braids, and as your eyes travel, you imagine what's hiding beneath the silk and leather. You're pulled from the thought by the sound of music, and you curse under your breath. You forgot that it's an open mic night and you'd meant to go to the bar across town instead. Irritation colors your vision; every open mic night is awful, full of lofty poets talking about their trauma and wannabe Taylor Swifts thinking they're on the same level as Sappho. Ah, now that was a girl with a set of pipes. You miss her, wonder what she would say to the butchering of whatever song you're about to hear.

The voice that comes isn't what you expect. It's smooth and deep. The world turns to velvet around you as the voice wanders from one speaker to another, creating a mesmerizing multi-dimensional effect despite the way the singer doesn't ever leave the stage. You turn, knuckles white around your bourbon glass; he's utterly magnetic, every eye in the room trained on him as he purrs into the vintage mic. Long fingers are wrapped around the scuffed metal, decorated with jewels that glitter in the dim light of the bar. You can smell the lingering cigarette smoke from the guy beside you and the Jäger from the girl two stools down and for once, you don't even care. He's captivating, voice travelling between speakers in the bar and coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.

Your eyes don't leave him, and you wonder if you can memorize the way the blond waves fall against his forehead if you stare long enough.

The red seeps away from you, slinking back into the corners of your mind, settling once more into a low thrum under your skin. It fades into the background of this man's voice, the charisma that rolls off him in waves as he pulls the mic in close just to push it to the side with a teasing smirk. It settles something in your chest that hasn't been calm since the fight in Athens so long ago.

The music fades out sooner than you'd like, and he gives a slight bow before wandering into the crowd. You do your best to follow him, but the gold of his hair disappears almost immediately, lost in the throng of people around the stage waiting to speak to him. You turn back around, downing the next bit of bourbon that Suho pours you.

"I know," He says with a grin. You cock a brow at him, not having said anything he could agree with. "He's good. That's what you were thinking, right? He's why we're so packed on open mics. Got the audio and lighting guy whipped, so he's got all these special effects, too. Drives people crazy.”

"He's alright," You mutter. You toss a few bills down on the bartop and step back. Suho gives you a courteous nod as you leave. The bouncer gives you a dirty look when he spots the lit cigarette between your lips, but he knows better than to try to tell you otherwise. You've taught him better.

You lean back against the brick wall of the alley and take a drag. The warm smoke fills your lungs and you close your eyes. It's a different kind of burn than you're used to, a distraction from the crawling sensation that drives you to fight. It's calmer, more controlled. Feels like the smoke from Hestia's fires. Feels like home.

"Never expected to see you here," A voice calls out. It's deep and startling in the darkness, but you don't jump. You just open your eyes, exhale, and look to where it came from.

The singer stands before you in the same undone white button up and black tee he performed in. He doesn't have a cig, doesn't seem to have much of any reason to be outside. He moves almost lazily, as if he doesn't even need to, just wants to, and when his gaze flicks up to meet yours, your vision fills just for a breath with every opponent you've ever faced lying at your feet.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" The words slip from your tongue before you can stop them. It's not his fault, the voice in your head says, he didn't mean it that way, but still, your blood is thrumming now that he's here and you want to know what he's talking about. Want to know why he thinks you wouldn't be here when there's attractive people and good bourbon and you've never seen this man before in your life. Want to know why he already seems to think you aren't civilized enough to be at a bar, why he spoke but all you heard was Zeus' voice in your memories.

"Exactly what I said. Should I be clearer?"

"Yeah, probably," you spit. Yet another person that assumes you're stupid, that you don't understand basic languages, as if you haven't been speaking them since the ancient times. As if you couldn't speak circles around him if you wanted. "Unless you want your teeth on the fucking ground."

"Good to know the stories are true." He tsks and you're filled with a strange sense of disappointment and fury, both at him and yourself. Your vision turns red at the edges and the cigarette between your fingers is crushed in your grip. He pays no mind to it, just saunters past with a lazy, swaying gait that draws your eyes to his hips and then down the long leather-clad legs. "See you around, Ares."

"That's not my fucking name," You yell after him. He doesn't respond when you shout your actual name, the one you chose, on your own, as a middle finger to the Olympians. "Get it right next time, dickwad."

He turns the corner of the alley and the streetlight catches his face just enough for you to see the smirk he wears. For once in your life, you're torn; you want to smash his face in, yes, because how dare this random guy speak to you like that when you could kill him with one finger to the right pressure point. You also find your skin's hotter than usual, stretched too thin over your bones, and you want him to run his hands over you until it feels right again.

Until it feels like it did when he was singing.

How did he know my title?

The thought comes unbidden, days later, with the desperate hit of a palm against your shoulder. You've got the woman in a headlock, patiently waiting for her to pass out completely so the fight can be called, and your mind is wandering.

How did the singer know who you are? You hadn't thought anything of it at the time, distracted by fury and frustration, but with time comes a special kind of clarity. You've never seen him before, not that you know anyway, yet he didn't hesitate to call you Ares. The only ones who know of your kind are your kind, but you haven't seen any of your siblings among mortals in a long time. You thought you knew the other gods and goddesses, but maybe not. It has been a while since you stepped foot in the golden city.

The woman in your grip goes slack and you release her. You're still lost in thought as the ref calls the match and leads you out of the makeshift ring. The cheers of the audience are background noise at this point, akin to static or the buzz of electricity, and you pay them no mind as you head to collect your winnings. You didn't even get any kind of buzz from success this time, too immersed in the way the singer walked and talked and looked. The image of his smirk is burned into your retinas.

"Yeah, you didn't hear? He just got out of the hospital. They had to keep him overnight because they thought he might puncture a lung. I heard that if it had been a little worse, they would've had to wire his jaw shut." You stop, fingers brushing over the stack of bills you don't even remember being handed. You look up, making eye contact with the guy whispering nearby. Your suspicions are confirmed when his friend smacks his arm and juts his chin in your direction before they both disappear into the crowd.

You shove your way outside, frustration creeping through you and coloring your vision. You manage to keep it contained long enough for you to make it to the alley behind the warehouse, but it explodes from you in a rush of thrown dumpsters and sheet metal.

Fuck , you never meant to hurt him like that. You told him, you fucking told him to yield, it isn't your fault he didn't listen. It's not your fault that he went and insulted you, acted like he was better than you just by virtue of being a dude, as if you weren't worshipped in the old days for the power you had and the blessings you could give. You'd held back, through all of it, you'd told him to yield, and he insulted you. It wasn't your fault.

You slide to the ground, running a shaking hand through your hair. It isn't your fault , you repeat. You close your eyes and take deep breaths, the way Hestia taught you, willing the fury to dissipate. It's like a fire in your veins, burning and bubbling your skin until you can't resist anymore. You take another breath. It isn't your fault. You tried. You offered an out. It isn't your fault. Fuck, what was his name?

With a growl that quickly morphs into a scream, you kick the dumpster once more before stalking off into the darkness. You need a fucking drink and you're gonna find a distraction in someone else if it's the last thing you do.

The club is packed when you get there; you're not usually a fan of clubs like this, too full of people who are too friendly, but they're perfect for nights like tonight. You don't even need to wait in line, just slip the bouncer a 50 as you pass, and the bartenders are quick to spot you. You're pretty notorious in the city for over-paying, which means you're knocking back bourbon before you have a chance to ask for it. There are people everywhere, pressed up against both sides of you while the bass thrums in your throat, and it takes you longer than you're proud of to realize why.

There's a band playing, apparently. They're not bad; the vocalist isn't anything like the singer from Suho's, but it doesn't make you want to tear your ears off, so you consider it a success.

You're dancing before you remember deciding to. Everything's a blur when you get the itch in your bones, the need to make someone bleed. To feel something that isn't rage or condescension. People are even closer here on the dance floor, suffocating in their proximity, but there's a woman grinding her ass into you, and it sparks the dying fire in your gut. The beat of the music drowns your own heart, and it's all flashing lights and heat and a body pressed against yours that is all too willing.

She follows when you go back to the bar for another drink, and giggles when you lick salt from her wrist before downing tequila. Her hands are wrapped in the leather of your jacket as she kisses you, your own resting lightly on her hips. She laughs against your lips and says something you don't hear before ordering another drink. Something makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You take the brief reprieve to look around the club, searching for whatever it is that has you on alert. You find him on the upper level of the club, leaned over the balcony with a drink in hand. You can't make out his expression, exactly; it's too far away and too guarded. But you'd know him anywhere now. The singer knocks back whatever's in his glass, eyes never leaving yours. You don't know why he's here, if he comes here often or if the Fates are having a laugh at your expense, but you do know you want to make the most of it.

The girl is back, pressing a heated kiss to your lips and drawing your attention from him. You return it, nipping at her lips and getting a small gasp in return. You smirk and bite your way down her neck. She's breathy in your ear, hitched moans lost in the beat of the music, but you barely hear her as you suck bruises into the skin of her neck. He's still watching you. His drink is gone and he's gripping the bannister of the balcony, rings glinting in the light. You wonder if the cool metal could soothe the burn in your bones. You want to know if he can bring that calmness from before back, if he can soothe the frenzy in your mind with his hands the way he can with his voice. Just imagining it has you soaking through to your jeans.

The girl makes a particularly loud noise in your ear and you're brought out of your thoughts. As if he can sense it, the singer straightens. He gives you one last look before disappearing back into the crowd, and you wonder if you're imagining the disdain in it. You draw back from the girl's neck, about to tell her to find her friends when she slides her hands in your hair and tugs.

The burn in your blood is back, now, and you hope this girl is prepared for what awaits her.

"You're here early," Suho says when he spots you in the nearly empty bar the next night. He's not wrong, either; you skipped the fights tonight completely. There was no buzz last time, no relief, and you have no reason to believe there would be tonight. Not with the way the singer captivates your thoughts.

Besides, you have enough money leftover from the previous few to last a couple days.

"What, did you decide not to kick someone's ass before getting wasted?" Suho doesn't wither at the look you give him, just pours you a couple fingers of bourbon and slides the glass over. "Or did they just stop letting you in completely?"

"I might change my mind if you don't shut up," You tell him. There's no real heat behind it. You've known Suho for years now, been coming to his bar for so long it almost feels like home. You're almost friends at this point.

It helps that he knows when to bite his tongue so he doesn't get his teeth knocked out.

"Seriously though, I don't think I've ever seen you here this early. Especially not on mic nights." You're very careful in your lack of a reaction to his words. You'd seen the workers setting up for it when you came in, and even if you hadn't, you know when mic night is. You've spent enough time avoiding it.

"Does he sing every time?" You ask in lieu of an explanation. You don't look away from the amber liquid in your glass, letting the silence hang as the bartender does his best to follow your thought process.

"Taehyung? Most weeks, yeah. It's been a nice change from the usual drunken karaoke. He goes around to some of the other places in town, too. Apparently he just likes to sing."

"Taehyung," You repeat. The name rolls from your tongue a bit awkwardly. It's more than you expected, somehow, but you can't place exactly how . Just...more. "Is he always that good?"

"Oh, yeah. We have regulars now for mic night because of him. He's got a whole fan club and everything."

"Hm." You drain the rest of your bourbon and Suho refills it. He leaves you in peace then, serving some others that appear at the bar.

The place fills faster than you can blink. That's what it feels like, anyway. It's like one moment there's you and a handful of other people scattered around, and now you're being jostled between some dude a million feet tall that definitely doesn't look old enough to be here and a girl with her tits up to her throat and surrounded by a cloud of perfume so thick that it starts a migraine behind your eyes almost instantly. She flirts with Suho a little, likely trying to score free drinks, and you roll your eyes. She pouts at him when he gives her the total, batting eyelashes that go on for miles, and for once, you wish Suho would just give in and comp the drinks.

"I'll pay for them," You say. She was definitely saying something, maybe you should have been paying attention to it, but fuck , this migraine is only getting worse the longer she stands there. "I'll pay for your drinks."

"Oh, thanks," She says. Her smile is hesitant, and quickly turns apologetic as she takes in the boots and the ripped jeans and the leather jacket. "Um, I'm not...I don't, uh…"

"Do I look like I want to fuck you, sweetie?" She looks a little affronted and a laugh escapes you. You lean closer, letting your breath ghost over her cheek as you speak in her ear to be heard better. "If I wanted to fuck you senseless, you'd know it. And I can guarantee you it would be a hell of a lot better than the watered down rat piss this guy's giving you."

When you lean back, her face is flushed and she's stammering. You smirk and hand her the drinks she'd ordered.

"Too bad you’re not, you don’t, huh?" You tell her. The patronizing tone isn't lost on her, nor is your mockery of her earlier words, and she shuts her mouth with an audible click before strutting off. Suho glares at you as he pours more bourbon.

"Can you please try not to run off my patrons?" He mutters. "Some of us actually need money to live."

"Some of us would like decently timed refills and to not choke on perfume," You quip. "And better bourbon, for that matter." He hisses something about what he's giving you being top quality but you tune him out, throwing one leg over the stool Perfume Girl vacated. You'd like to keep just a little bit of personal space.

Across the bar, you catch a brief glimpse of the girl from the night before and you wince. Her neck is thoroughly bruised, and you catch a peek of bruises and scratches on her back as she shrugs her jacket on. You didn’t mean to be so rough with her, even if she had been into it; you’re usually pretty good about remembering that the mortals are just that - mortal - and as such have to be handled delicately. They’re so fragile, it feels like they could break with a strong wind. Guilt settles in your gut and turns the bourbon in your glass to cough syrup. You’ve half a mind to just leave before she sees you, are about to turn and do exactly that, but the speakers screech to life and the deafening feedback from the mic keeps you glued to your seat.

The crowd quiets even as the excitement ramps up, all talk silencing but for the occasional hushed whispers here and there. The first few notes of the song echo through the speakers, and a spotlight appears on him.

He looks different this time, his hair dyed a vibrant blue that matches the glinting jewels in his ears and on his hands. He's an absolute vision and you wonder how Aphrodite has allowed him to live so long when he's so beautiful. His voice hangs in the air and calms you, the same settling in your chest as last time, the same freedom from the burn in your veins. It's addictive.

The song doesn't last nearly as long as you want it to but the stillness inside you lingers long after he's done caressing the microphone. You place a few bills down for Suho and light up a cigarette as you head outside, ignoring the dirty looks from other patrons as you do. You're on a mission, the thrum of bloodlust returning with every second that passes, and you can't even be sure if he's still around or if he's wandered off already.

You stand in the alley for what feels like hours, turning at every sound and smoking cig after cig just so you have something to do. You've almost decided to say fuck it when footsteps sound from the back of the bar, coming closer to you.

His blue hair is visible even from the other end of the small alley, a giveaway similar to the light at the end of your cigarette and the smoke you blow into the air. There's no way he hasn't seen you, you think, you're making no effort to hide or be sneaky, and yet he's continuing forward as if he doesn't see you at all, eyes focused on a phone in his hand. You wait until he's just a few steps away before speaking.

"How do you know my title?" You ask him. He stops as if he'd always meant to and doesn't even bother to glance up at you or respond. The edges of your vision turn scarlet at the blatant disregard and you're speaking before you can even process the words. "I asked you a fucking question, pretty boy, you're gonna answer me. Unless you want that precious mouth bloodied up."

"And you wonder how I know who you are," He drawls, still not bothering to spare a glance at you. A scowl grows over your face at his sarcastic tone. "If you're going to hit me just get it over with. Otherwise, I have places to be."

He stands, waiting and expectant, but you don't move. He's humming, quiet and to himself like he doesn't even realize he's doing it, and the red seeps away from your mind until you're left clear-headed once more. You sigh, long and heavy, and crush your cigarette into your denim-covered thigh to put it out. It tickles.

"I'm not going to hit you," You tell him eventually. "I just wanna know how you know me. And how you do it."

He cocks a brow at that, finally looking up from the phone in his hand to level dark eyes on yours. "Do what? Sing?"

"No." You swallow around the sudden lump in your throat. The words are harder to find than you thought they'd be, lost in the depths of his gaze, in the clarity you're so unaccustomed to, in the way you feel like you can breathe for the first time in days. "I don't care how you sing, that's not important, it's the...fuck, you know what, never mind, it doesn't fucking matter." You push off the wall and step past him to head towards where the streetlight gleams off the bar windows.

"Tell me." The command has you stopping in your tracks, and you're again flooded with just wanting to know how. How he clears the haze, how he stops you, how he makes you feel real. You turn, hands stuffed into the back pockets of your jeans. "How I do what?"

It takes you several long breaths before you can answer, and you aren't even sure he can hear you over the sounds of people leaving the bar, and you find yourself disappearing into the crowd without waiting for a response. Your own words are reverberating in your skull, getting louder with each step you take, and you wish you could just turn it off .

"How you make me feel like a person again."

You avoid the bar for a few weeks, going hours away from your usual area to an unfamiliar hole in the wall just to make sure you don’t see him. You’re more deadly than usual in your fights, victories coming quicker, injuries piling up along with the guilt, but you can’t bring yourself to return. It’s unnerving, the way everything goes quiet around him, the way you can think, but the worst is the way you can feel. Everything’s calm and steady and blue, and it only makes it easier for the regret and the guilt and the anxiety to curl around your throat and squeeze until you can’t breathe, to clog in your throat while the laughter of your siblings echoes in your ears, and you...can’t. You can’t do that, you can’t let it win, you can’t let them win, they can’t know that you’re everything they think you are and worse.

You can’t let yourself drown in that, and yet you find yourself back at Suho’s, lost among the crowd while Taehyung’s voice surrounds you. The ache in your bones fades away, chased by the thrum of the fight that still lingers despite the hours that have passed since you felt your opponent’s femur break under your palm and their screams echoed in your ears. Everything is calm again, and the guilt nearly drowns you.

He hasn’t even finished singing before you’re outside, chest heaving as you gasp against the weight on your chest. You broke someone’s femur , and did you even really need to? The fight itself is a blur even now, snapshots playing through your mind like a montage. The way they’d darted at you first, how their foot felt connecting with the backs of your knees, the determination in their eyes when you went down, the jolt of shock as your hands wrapped around their leg, the dull throb of a barrage of hits against your waist as you pulled them down as well and bloodied their face, the blood-curdling scream as you snapped the bone like a pretzel stick.

Your breath comes faster in your lungs, forced out by the growing guilt that lodges there in its place. Images swirl in your mind, chased by a never-ending stream of thought and regret that you should be used to by now. Fuck, you didn’t need to, and you still did it; you lost control, you fucking hurt them, and for what? A couple hundred? Was it even worth it? Who knew when they’d be back into shape to fight, what if they needed the money? They weren’t even half-bad. They got you down, at least, shouldn’t you have gone easy on them? You don’t even remember their face, can’t remember what the announcer said their name was, words drowned out by the buzz under your skin.

Metal crumples under your grip and you spare a half-second to mourn Suho’s dumpster before you slam your knuckles against it. It tingles, not even real pain, and you don’t hesitate to repeat it. By the time the metal is disfigured completely, a distorted mess of paint and steel and garbage, you still aren’t in pain, but there’s a sheen of gold across your knuckles and you feel less like you’re drowning and more like you’re suffocating. The usual. You can handle that. You think.

You don’t even realize that you’ve slid down to the ground beside the dumpster until the back door of the bar opens and footsteps echo through the alley. You wish you knew how long you’ve been here, how long you’ve sat among empty bottles and stale beer and broken glass, but you can’t be sure. The brief reprieve brought by Taehyung’s voice is long gone, chased away by the guilt and rage that still sits heavy in your chest. You hope you’re not noticeable here, that whoever’s left will just pass by and leave you to piece yourself back together on your own.

Voices tell you that it isn’t likely, the deep baritone of one too familiar to ignore. The other is new, but you’re familiar with the tone, the inflection, the intent behind it. You've heard it before, in crowded clubs as a guy pushes too close to some girl who can barely stand, in a coffeeshop when a random customer can't take a fucking hint, at the local campus when some professor insists that there could be maybe one thing her student could do to pass. It makes everything in you curdle, the bourbon from earlier threatening to work its way back up; it screams predator , and you absolutely refuse to let anyone fucking talk to someone like that, like they have some right to whatever it is they want.

You refuse to let someone talk to him that way.

"Seriously, Kratos, didn't I tell you to leave me alone? Did Aphrodite not teach you your lesson last time you harassed someone?" Taehyung's voice brings a calm that's an unsettling match to the anger washing over you. You're used to the red at the corners of your vision, the tint to everything you see, but you aren ' t used to the way it all turns purple and focused and clear .

There's no haze this time, there's no abrupt shift of you moving before you know you've done it. You can feel the glass crunching under your boots with every step you take, can feel the way the air has a chill that creeps down into your lungs with every breath, can almost taste the apprehension that's rolling off of Taehyung despite his relaxed stance. The only thing that gives him away is the tense set of his jaw and the mix of relief and fear when his eyes land on you.

"I'm pretty sure he said no, Kratos." The god turns at your voice and you watch the realization wash over him as he realizes what - who - you are.

"Been a while since anyone's seen you, Ares." He scoffs a little, not moving from where he has Taehyung caged against the wall of the bar, one hand pressed firmly into the brick. He's entirely too close, and you have no doubt that the stench of him permeates the very oxygen around them.

"Been busy. Doesn't change the fact that the man said no. Take the loss, walk away." Kratos' eyes narrow at your words and he steps away, but only to move closer to you.

"Why do you care so much? You've never been one to care about any of us before." Kratos inches closer and the hyper-focus that Taehyung's voice causes starts to melt away with every twitch of your fingers. You've never liked Kratos, all brute strength with no respect for the challenge, no appreciation of the fight, too focused on sheer power and exhilaration. He is the worst of the worst of the worst of your kind, of all the war-focused gods. Every bit of yourself you hate is every piece that Kratos loves about himself.

"I care that you don't seem to be able to understand when someone doesn't want to be around you, you absolute piece of filth. Taehyung had a point though, I really thought the whole thing with Aphrodite would've taught you how to back off. Or should I pull the video out, I think I still have it saved for when I need a good laugh." Malice and fury twitch across the other god's face and you absolute revel in it. You can feel his anger prickling across you, like needles in your very pores, and you ache for it. It's been so long since you last had a good fight, a real challenge where you didn't need to hold back at all.

Too long since you fought a god like yourself.

"You're testing my patience, cousin," Kratos spits. It's a little generous to call the two of you cousins - you're several times removed, at best, and potentially closer than that with your family's warped history - but you let him have it. It might make him feel better. "I'm having a conversation, that's all. And if said conversation means that we end up back at my place, then, well, can anyone really blame me for what might happen to this pretty little m-"

Your fist connects with his jaw immediately and the red floods you for the few seconds it takes to register Taehyung calling your name. The calm struggles for a second, warring with the rage, but it wins out eventually. The singer's talking, but you can't make out any actual words. You're too focused on Kratos, the way he's righting and readying himself for a brawl. There's a fire in his eyes that matches the one in yours and everything in you feels alive for the first time in too long.

This fight is different than your usual ones. There's no blur, no warped sense of time that usually comes with the adrenaline. You're focused and controlled in a way you haven't had to be for centuries, careful and precise and deliberate with every swing and every kick. The red seeps back in slowly and every time you think you're about to lose it, you hear Taehyung, still pressed against the wall of the bar.

Kratos lunges at you for what has to be the tenth time, clearly trying his best to knock you to the ground - he succeeded, once; you let yourself get distracted, too caught up in thoughts, but it didn't last long - and you sidestep him just in time for him to ram into the ruined dumpster instead. He looks pissed when he turns back around and something in you sings at the sight. He makes for you again and you dodge again, only to be dragged back towards him by the grip he has on your jacket. Fuck, should've taken that off , whatever, he's too close.

Pain explodes in your side and you're fairly sure he's busted part of your rib, but you just slide your arms out of the sleeves and twist to plant your knee straight into his gut and then slam your heel down onto his much-less-safe toes, and then back up to knee him in the groin. It's nowhere near enough to take him out, but his nose is oozing golden ichor and he groans with every shift of his weight, and you've got him pinned against the wall with your forearm pressing hard into his windpipe.

"Now, you're gonna listen to me you steaming pile of dog shit," You hiss. "When someone tells you no, it's not a fucking negotiation. It means you fucking leave and find someone with loose enough morals or enough internalized self-hatred that they're willing to subject themselves to your absolutely pitiful fucking excuse of an existence for the thirty-two seconds it'll take for you to get off."

Kratos doesn't respond, just sneers and spits blood at you. It's a miracle you don't actually try to rip his head from his body, because the thought crosses your mind for a second too long. Instead, you just press harder against his windpipe and enjoy the choked gasp that it draws.

"You don't stalk people either, the way you did with 'Dite. Don't you know it's better to let them come to you sometimes?" You tsk, ignoring the way he claws uselessly at your arm. Gods may not need to breathe, that's a fact, but they feel pain, and there is no way this isn't absolutely excruciating for him when even you can feel the small bones in his neck cracking and breaking. "And if I hear even a whisper of you pulling shit like this again, then I'm gonna find you, you pigshit. And when I do, I won't hold back even the slightest, and do you know what comes after that?"

His eyes are full of fear now, and only grow wide with terror as you lean in close enough that he can feel your lips against his ear as you whisper.

"You are going to wish that you could die."

When you do release him, he disappears instantly, with a cloud of acrid grey-green smoke curling around your ichor-spattered boots. He's only been gone a second when you slump, the adrenaline fading as quick as Kratos had left. Your side is throbbing now, your knuckles are bruised and broken and gold, there's a pain in your leg that you aren't sure what's causing, your head is screaming even through the high of the fight, your face stings in the crisp-cool air. Every breath makes the pain worse so you stop breathing. The brick wall of the bar is rough against your palms, but it's the only thing around that can keep you upright, so you'll take it.

"Well," a voice drawls from your left. You'd jump if you had anything left in you, but every ounce of energy is gone, spent teaching Kratos what Aretha Franklin meant when she sang about respect - and really, there was another fantastic singer, you really should visit her sometime soon - so instead your head lolls to the side. You aren't sure what it is that jolts through you when your eyes land on Taehyung, fingers curled carefully around the collar of-

Your jacket. That's your leather jacket. You barely remembers shrugging out of it, but you're glad it's not on the ground, trampled and covered in the gold spatters that decorate the rest of your body.

"Well?" You echo, wincing at the pain it causes. You've definitely got a busted lip, that's for sure from the way it feels different and swollen, and you're pretty sure there's a head wound, too, because you don't remember there being a golden halo around Taehyung before the fight.

"Well," He repeats, slinging the jacket - your jacket - over a shoulder. "You should get that looked at." He starts walking, making his way to the entrance of the alleyway. He gets halfway there before he stops and turns and cocks a brow. "Are you coming, or do I get to keep this?" Your jacket waves a little, as if he's wiggling it, and it makes you feel like a stray dog being lured off with treats.

You're never going to tell anyone that it works.

Taehyung's place is as nondescript as the car he parks outside. It's a plain apartment building on the outside - looks like maybe it was a hotel back in the 1930s, based on the outdated carpeting in the lobby and the grate on the elevator he steps into. Even the hallway is plain and unassuming as he leads you to the end and uses an old, tarnished brass key on an older, more tarnished brass knob. You aren't sure what you expected, you can't even begin to guess what Taehyung is like outside of the dirty alley or the stage where he sings, can't fathom what kind of decor he could possibly have.

What you step into isn't anything you could have guessed. It looks like he has the entire rest of the floor to himself based on what you can see, but there's also a spiral staircase tucked into a corner, bookshelves built in under each step that are filled to the brim, and a fireman's pole in another corner, so there's at least one more level above this, but something tells you both the staircase and the pole continue past that. There's artwork everywhere, pieces you recognize and pieces you don't, several van Goghs and a couple from Matisse and you think in the corner you spot an actual fucking da Vinci sketch that's supposed to be somewhere in Europe. There's a gramophone beside a top-of-the-line sound system, an entire wall that's just a record collection, books upon books, framed bits of poetry - including an actual hand-written rupi kaur, a signed Maya Angelou print, and a signed cover of ain't i a woman by bell hooks that you would die to know how Taehyung got his hands on. It's a museum's wet dream and yet it retains a lived in atmosphere. There are mugs left on tables, blankets strewn about as if someone just got up from a nap, an easel propped up by a far window with what looks like an impressionist painting of the cityscape, books tossed down half-read with receipts and coupons and candy wrappers and everything but a bookmark tucked between the pages.

It feels like a home and it makes your heart flutter in your chest at the same time that something in your stomach shrivels up into itself.

Taehyung walks like he’s meant to be followed, so follow you do. You spy another man - older, you think, but it’s hard to tell, really - sprawled across a couch, blanket splayed across his lap as he watches some kind of dance show on a flatscreen hung above a warm and roaring fireplace, a couple of girls in what looks to be the kitchen, one sitting on the counter while the other stands between her legs and pretends not to notice the former stealing strawberries from her bowl as she taps at her tablet, and there are footsteps creaking above you, hidden behind walls even as Taehyung leads you up the staircase. They all look up when you pass, but only the man gives you a second glance; his eyes are a weight on your back that doesn’t leave until you’re upstairs and following Taehyung into a large, rather nice bathroom.

It’s vintage as well, but it’s spacious and well-kept, like the rest of the place. Taehyung pats the marble counter by the sink and you bite your tongue against the urge to tell him you aren’t a dog. You don’t move though, instead watching him as he lays your jacket across a brass bar on the wall and then digs around in a cabinet for a minute or two. When he straightens up, he’s got a somewhat dusty off-white box in his hands, and he frowns.

“Up,” He says. “I need to look at your ankle.”

You don’t move, but you can tell he doesn’t miss the twitch of your nose at the thought of being commanded like an animal. Like someone who can’t understand. Like-

He sighs.

“Please, will you sit on the counter, so I can look at your ankle?” You huff, but you do as he says.

He doesn’t speak as he works, completely silent except for the odd command - “Roll it for me...alright, now flex that...deep breath...stop fidgeting or I’ll only make it worse…” - and the occasional hum under his breath. It seems to be second nature, like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, and it endears you more than you’d like. His touch is gentle but firm as he lightly squeezes your ankle and wraps it, lifts your pant leg to rub some kind of cream into a somewhat worrisome golden bruise forming on your calf, darts under your shirt to quickly and painlessly set your ribs before wrapping those as well. He doesn’t say anything at all until he’s almost finished with the cuts on your hands, golden ichor long gone and wounds already on their way to healing thanks to some sort of mist he spritzes on them.

It only stings once, as he’s spraying something over some kind of cut on your thigh where Kratos ripped through the denim there without you noticing. You can’t stop the hiss as the pain hits, though you regret it when he glances up at you.

“Sorry,” He mumbles under his breath as he dabs lightly at it with his long fingers.

“It’s fine,” You tell him. “I’m used to it.” Your voice is rough, always, but softer than usual. You don’t know why. You can’t decide if you like it.

The entire time he works, you wait. For him to tell you it wasn’t necessary, that he can fight his own battles, that he’s not surprised a brute like yourself got into a fight, that you’re no more than what the rumours say you are. You’ve got a million different curses and insults ready to spit back at him when he finally speaks.

“Thank you,” is what comes. It shocks the words out of your mouth, and you actually look up from where you’ve been watching him methodically wipe gold away from a scrape on your forearm. His gaze is concentrated on the injury and his lips are pursed and you wish you could figure him out.

He must take your silence for the confusion it is, because he continues.

“I mean it,” He says. “I’m usually not someone that lets other people fight for me, but we both know that I couldn’t have taken Kratos. He’s too strong, and he was counting on that. Until you showed up.” You don’t respond. “Is there a reason you left before my set was done? Or why you were sitting in an alley beside what is possibly the most gnarled dumpster I’ve ever seen?”

You don’t answer him, instead focusing on the way his hands feel as they tilt your chin so he can look at the cuts and bruises and scrapes that decorate your face. You focus your gaze just past his shoulder, content to memorize the pattern of his gaudy vintage bathroom wallpaper, and he doesn't press for more. The distracted humming picks up again every time he stops talking, and eases the storm of guilt shame rage pain hurt grief loneliness in your chest.

"I fight," you eventually say. Your voice is too loud in the quiet of the bathroom, shatters the silence like a sledgehammer, and you hate the way it trembles. Still, Taehyung doesn't look away from where he's carefully wiping gold from your skin, just cocks a brow, and it's as if a dam breaks in your throat. "Like, real fights. Actual competition, with rules and shit, and...sometimes the bad ones, because they tend to fight differently, it's a different kind of fight, y'know, and it's never really fair, because I'm...I'm me, but I hold back, just for fun, y'know, and it's, uh. It's alright usually, I go in, do my thing, I win, I go drink, and it all gets, I dunno, easier, maybe, for a while, like I can think right, but, um.”

You hesitate for a split second and force yourself to focus on the way the alcohol-soaked cotton tickles the cut on your head.

“Sometimes it's not...sometimes I can't control it as well, the anger, and I kind of just lose it on people, and a while ago this guy, he almost needed his jaw wired shut, but he was kind of a prick anyway, I guess, so whatever, but, uh, today, I...there was this girl and she was doing really well, actually, y'know, managed to get me down to the mat, which is rare and pretty impressive, and I'm pretty proud of her for it now, but then, I just. I just kinda lost it, like, I just kept swinging, I couldn't stop, and then I just...I broke her leg, for no real reason, just because I wanted her to hurt, and I don't...I'm not sure why I even did it, because I'd already won, right, like what was the point of doing any more, it wasn't even helping at that point, y'know, it's not like the buzz kept up any longer because I broke this kid's leg, and I love the fights, they help clear my head for a second, but I never wanted to actually-"

You words stop short, like there are too many of them to say in too short a time, and it's then you realize Taehyung's hands are in his lap and he's looking at you fully. His expression isn't neutral anymore, it's not the carefully crafted mask of a performer, it's real and open and genuine and all you see there is pain . For you. Pain and understanding and compassion you never expected to find anywhere but the deepest corners of your soul. Looking at him looking at you like that makes you feel like you can breathe again.

"You never wanted to hurt anyone." His voice is rough, like maybe there's emotion clogging his throat as well, and you aren't sure what that does to you, but something in you jumps at the thought.

Tears mar your vision as you nod and you curse under your breath before wiping them away. He catches your quivering hand in his and just holds it for a second. His eyes don't leave yours and there are a thousand things you expect him to say but what he says is:

"I believe you."

And that...it's more than you can take, and you break, right there on his bathroom counter, sobbing into his chest while he just rubs your back and hums and you remember the face of every person you've ever hurt and the look in their eyes as you left some of them for dead.

You wake up the next morning curled up on the most comfortable chaise lounge in human history, sitting up and shoving the blanket off of you in a rush before you remember where you are, why you're there. A glance around tells you that you aren't alone; there's two guys bent over a table that you think might also be a tablet, conversing quietly and pointing every so often at whatever they're looking at, a girl balanced along the edge of the staircase holding a lyre - which, wow, you haven't seen a lyre in that good condition in a while - and strumming lightly along it before she frowns and shakes her head and restarts whatever melody she's playing, and the same guy sprawled over the couch with a blanket strewn haphazardly over him while he watches a different dance video on the flatscreen. He's the closest and you don't really want to talk to any of these people but you think you might have to because you aren't really sure how Taehyung got you here last night but you know it was quite a drive. You'd just mist over to the bar if you really wanted to, but your ribs hurt like a bitch still thanks to that fucker Kratos. Anything as intense as misting is out of the question for the time being.

The man on the chaise spares you a glance that feels longer than it should, full of a judgement you have no doubt you deserve and yet somehow fires your anger anyway.

He rolls his eyes before you even say anything and waves a hand towards the kitchen. You snap your mouth closed and shoot him an irritated look, but you storm in that direction anyway. Healing is exhausting, and you want nothing more than some meat to tear into and a cold beer.

When you get into the kitchen, however, Taehyung is standing there already, as if he’s been expecting you any minute. There’s a plate in front of him, full of food you barely recognize, and he slides it towards you.

“Eat,” He says. You grit your teeth, unmoving, and he sighs again. “Please sit, and eat. You need the strength to heal properly.”

You resist for a split second, but there’s a softness to him now. Something you can’t exactly put your finger on, but that you know is different , somehow, and it changes things. It makes you want to listen, to do as he asks, because he is asking . He’s not telling, he’s treating you like an animal.

It’s a request, not a demand, and that makes all the difference.

Taehyung is quiet while you eat. He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t watch to make sure you’re doing it, but you have no doubt he’s keeping an eye on you. It’s quiet, but not unbearably so; the air is broken by the sounds of the lyre and the television, as well as the soft chattering of the men at the table. It makes it comfortable, makes it soft in a way you’re unaccustomed to being, like the way people talk about lazy Sunday mornings or that voice they get when they see a cute animal.

It feels like home should be, instead of what yours is.

“So why’s Pretty Boy giving me the death glare?” You eventually ask past a mouthful of food. Taehyung barely looks up, just glancing past you to the guy laying on the couch. You can feel his eyes boring into your spine, but it’s nothing new.

“Taemin’s just protective,” Taehyung says softly. “Especially considering the stories.”

“The ones about me, you mean.”

A myriad of emotions passes through his eyes when he nods, and you wish you could more easily decipher them. Maybe in time, you will.

Maybe.

“Those, yes,” He says softly. “But he’ll learn.” He doesn’t say it, but nonetheless, you hear the words as clear as day. Just like I did.

Someone hums behind you and you glance over to see a woman - the strawberry thief - making her way into the kitchen. She gives Taehyung a look you don’t care enough to figure out, and they have an entire conversation in the span of five minutes. Something about it irks you, and it only gets worse when they start moving around each other, Taehyung handing her things without her asking.

It’s ridiculous, and you know it, but the air gets heavy in your lungs and your head starts to swim and suddenly you’re suffocating. It’s too much, there’s too much here, and you can’t take it anymore.

The force with which you shove away the counter would have slammed it into the wall were it not already attached. There are slight cracks in the granite tops, though, and there’s just enough clarity as Taehyung calls your name for you to feel guilty about it. It’s not enough to stop you though; you have to get out, you need to get out, before you do something worse, and the cracks in the granite are proof of that.

You’re out the door in an instant, your form coalescing painfully back into solid matter as you reach the hallway. Your ribs ache, screaming with the effort of trying to mist away from this place, this home , and you lean against the wall in the hope that it will help steady you.

The door opens behind you, the creak of the old hinges deafening in the silence of the hall. There’s a commotion behind it, voices overlapping each other and reverberating in your skull until they’re a twisted mockery of your siblings.

You stumble down the hall, one hand clutching your ribs to keep them as still as possible despite your movement. It’s not lost on you that there are footsteps following you, but you can’t focus on them now. You’re not moving fast, and you need to be, you should be running , but you can’t. Your vision is already clouding slightly at the edges, the sudden spike of adrenaline waning now that you’re out of the apartment.

Someone says your name and you swing.

It’s instinct, the way your fist flies through the air; you can’t control it, not this, not when the red is all you can see even as it seeps away and turns lilac. It doesn’t matter anyway. You don’t make contact with anything but the wall, plaster crumbling around your fist and onto the carpeted floor.

“That was rude,” Taehyung says softly. He doesn’t sound mad, though he should, considering you almost decked him straight in the nose. “I’ll take you back.”

He drapes your jacket over your arm and walks away, toward emergency stairs tucked into the corner instead of the elevator, and you follow. He hums as he goes, and he lets you lead the way down the stairs, keeping pace with your quick steps until both of you step out a side door into an alleyway.

Out of habit, more than anything, you light a cigarette and put it between your lips. You don’t miss the disgusted scrunch of Taehyung’s nose, but you do ignore it. The smoke is familiar in lungs, comforting, and he doesn’t understand it, won’t ever understand it, but he doesn’t have to.

“Sorry, Tae,” You say after a few minutes of silence. Taehyung shrugs one shoulder and moves to lean beside you against the stone of the building.

“Are you okay now?” You nod, taking a deep breath, remembering how Hestia had taught you, so long ago, how her hand felt against your chest, the warmth and love it held. “Then you’re forgiven. And you can call me Calliope, if you want.”

You’re both quiet after that. He doesn’t make fun of you, he doesn’t judge you, he just silently drives you back to Suho’s bar, which is when you remember that he doesn’t know where you live. You’re fine with it; you don’t want to see him in your run down hovel. It’s not much, especially compared to his own apartment, but that makes sense, too.

What could ever live up to the home of a Muse? Not even a muse, really. The Muse. The Head of the Nine Muses, the one called on most often by those in need, the one that everyone knew, the one that Hephaestus just put statues of in the gardens of Olympus, according to the rumors that Apollo sent you.

The calm that he brings lasts until you get back to your apartment, nearly ten full minutes after you disappear into the alley beside Suho’s bar. It’s the longest the calm has ever lasted, and the view of the city tinted lavender is one you think you love.

If you can love.

Things get clearer, somehow. The weight on your shoulders lessens, makes you feel less like Atlas and more like you, how you were all those years ago in the now-ancient days when things made sense. When people fought for honor and glory and justice more than they fought for oil and death and greed.

It could be because open mic nights are frequent around the city, and you’re able to figure out his schedule pretty well. You don’t go every night that he sings, just when it gets to be too much, when the scarlet haze starts to bleed into your irises like a flag in front of a bull. It helps, for a while, lets you settle long enough to pull the pieces of you back into a shape that vaguely resembles yourself.

It could be because the fights happen every night, and Taehyung is no stranger to where to look to find them. He watches every one that he can, when he isn’t singing, and his presence anchors you. Focuses you, so that you can pull your punches just enough, so that there’s less hurting and more fighting. It doesn’t work every time, you still lose yourself in the rage and do more damage than you ever mean to, but it helps enough. And when it doesn’t, he’s there, to slide a hand across your shoulders in that exact same way that Hestia used to, that Apollo might if you let him close enough to know you’re alive, that Artemis would , were she anywhere but where she is.

It’s a strange feeling. You’re not used to companionship, you don’t know how to have friends. You still say the wrong things and do the wrong things and he still speaks to you like he expects to be listened to, but you both are learning. You apologize more often, and he corrects himself quicker. It’s a slow, fragile thing, this friendship, but it’s there.

Until the night when it’s not.

You aren’t sure how it happens. It’s been weeks since you last saw Taehyung; he mentioned some project he was working on, something or another that would have most of his attention along with that of several of the other Muses. You had brushed it off when he said it, some snide remark about how you don’t need him there to win.

You would take it back if you could.

Because you were right, of course, you don’t need him there to win; you can do that on your own. And your control has gotten better, stronger, over the last few months, but complacency is what always leads to disaster.

The guy deserved it, is what you tell yourself as you’re pulled out of the ring. He was a piece of shit anyway, you remind yourself as you call Apollo with shaking hands. He didn’t deserve your mercy, you tell the golden gold after you’ve begged him to help save the man’s life. Artemis would have done the same, you insist to him, long after he’s hung up the phone and left to follow the ambulance to the hospital.

You don’t go to Suho’s. You can’t bear it, not when he might be there, not when he would read it on your face in a heartbeat. You don’t want to watch the disappointment crumble into something more familiar, something worse, you can’t watch him look at you with the knowledge that your siblings are right, that they’ve always been right, that you’re nothing better than a crazed animal.

The club is packed full when you get there. The bartender starts to pour you a drink and you just take the bottle, leaving a too-thick wad of bills in return. The bourbon tickles as it goes down but it warms your stomach and distracts you from the haze in your mind, the repetitive beat of they were right they were right they were right they were-

“Whoops, sorry,” someone says, a second before they knock into your shoulder. You’ve been around long enough to know a fake fall, and you scowl as you glance towards them.

He’s cute. Taller than you, with skin that would hide the marks you so love to create, and hair that looks like it would be soft in your hands. His clothes fit well, and they look like they were chosen for comfort over style despite the way he walks like a model in them, which you always find attractive.

The smile that slips onto your face is familiar, as is the way you bring your hand up to rest on his hip in an effort to steady him.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” You tell him, not being subtle in the way you eye him. He looks soft; you love them soft. “You headed to get a drink?”

“I might be,” He says teasingly, a coy grin forming on his lips.

“I’ve got something better, if you’re interested.”

His eyes roam along your body, his breath drawing somewhat quicker when he notices the scrapes on your knuckles. “I might be.”

It takes five minutes to get him to a corner quiet enough to talk. Less than three to get your lips on his. One and a half to start sucking a mark into his neck that makes him moan so pretty you can’t help but want to hear it again.

One of your hands is up his shirt, playing with the pebbled buds and the metal pierced through them, while the other teasingly massages the skin of his hip when he’s torn away from you roughly.

“What the fuck?” Your voice growls as you look up. The guy is standing there, looking for all the world like he’s ready to run, but he isn’t watching you.

No, his eyes are on a familiar sight; Taehyung, his hair now a pretty lavender that makes you think of a home you don’t have, even as he doesn’t look at you.

“Taken,” He growls, releasing the collar of the guy you had every intent to make cry with pleasure. The guy scurries off before you can stop him, though, and you don’t bother to hide your disdain.

“What the fuck is your problem?” You demand, already lighting a cigarette as you head outside. Taehyung follows, pulling it from between your lips and crushing it in his hands before you have the chance to get your lighter out.

“Me? You looked like you were about to eat him .” He follows you all the way to the street outside and down the sidewalk, pulling each cigarette out of your hands before you can light it. He waits until you’re a decent distance from the crowd outside the club before he stops you, one hand lightly encircling your wrist.

Your boots scuff against the ground as you stop, not turning to look at him. You’re too afraid to, too worried he’ll see it all on your face and just know that you’ve fucked up, maybe beyond repair.

“Apollo called me,” is what he says instead. “Said I might want to find you tonight.”

You should’ve known. That little fuck, of course he would rat you out.

“I didn’t-”

The words choke in your throat. You want to say you don’t need him. You don’t need him to come running like you’re some scared little girl who can’t control her strength, you don’t need him to piece you back together because you aren’t broken, you don’t need him because you don’t need anyone, you never have.

“I know you didn’t,” Taehyung says quietly. “I know he deserved it, I know what he did, and I know you didn’t mean to.”

Something inside of you breaks and you find yourself shaking.

“He hurt her , Tae, I heard it, I heard her telling her friend about it on the phone, I saw her crying, I saw her clothes, okay, he-”

“I know,” Taehyung says, pulling you into a loose hug. “I know you did, it’s okay. He’s going to be okay. He’s not gonna escape his punishment from that, you didn’t send anyone to Hades today. It’s okay.”

The cloud struggles, for what feels like hours. Guilt settles like lead in your stomach, and you wish you weren’t so used to the feeling. The rage returns every time you remember what that girl looked like, what she sounded like on the phone, how you felt when you realized it was your competitor who had done that to her.

There’s no honor in that. There’s no justice, no glory, in beating an opponent who was never aware they were in the ring, and it makes your blood boil all over again. Taehyung’s voice soothes you, slightly, makes the edges of your vision turn indigo, but it isn’t enough.

It’s never enough.

“I have to go,” You say, pulling yourself away from him. “I need- I have to find-”

“A distraction,” He finishes for you, too aware that you can’t find the words you need. “Some mortal that you can bruise and break and bang until you feel less like a monster?”

That’s exactly what you want to do, what you had been about to do with that guy at the club, and it’s only Taehyung’s voice calling your name in that soft, sweet way of his that makes you wonder if that’s not a good plan.

“I’ll be a distraction, if you need one.” You whip your head around, staring at him, but he doesn’t flinch. “I’m sturdier than the mortals, I can take more. Let me be your distraction.”

“I…” You hesitate. You don’t know why. You shouldn’t even be entertaining this idea, it’s not a good one, but then...when have any of your ideas been good? “I can’t fuck in a house with eight other people.”

“You have an apartment,” He says easily. “Let’s go there.”

It’s a bad idea. You don’t do that, you don’t fuck people at your apartment, you don’t have people in your apartment, it’s your space. It’s a bad idea, it can only end in disaster.

“Okay.”

Taehyung’s lips are soft against yours, yielding and pliant just the way you’re used to. His hands are big and warm against your ass, even through your jeans, and the feeling gives you the courage to slide your own under the ridiculously patterned button-down he’s wearing.

He lets you lead the way through the door, kicking it closed behind you with slightly too much force. Your apartment is small, a studio with a bed tucked in the corner for the rare times that you need it.

You push Taehyung onto it and slide yourself onto his lap, already grinding down onto the hard length you can feel there. He's not quite as enthusiastic, but his fingers are like steel against you, pulling you down with every rut of your hips.

This, you can do. This, you're familiar with.

You push on his shoulders, doing your best to get him on his back so you can have better access to the clasp of his jeans, but he resists. You try again, firmer, using a harsh suck against his skin as a distraction, but he still doesn't go.

Frustrated, you pull back.

"Not like this," He says. His voice clears some of the fog, and you frown.

"Do you want to be on top, then? Because I don't mind, I just need it," You tell him. He sighs a little, but he flips the two of you over so he's kneeling between your open legs and your back is cushioned against the mattress.

"How long has it been since you spent the night with someone who knows who you are?" He asks, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he sits back on his knees.

You shift, uncomfortable. "A while. Why does that matter? Just fuck me."

"No," Taehyung says, voice gentle but firm. You cock a brow at him and move to get out from under him, but he stills you with a hand on your thigh.

"You are a goddess," He tells you, trailing his hands down so he can undo the laces on your steel-toe boots and slide them off. "You have held Victory in your palms and set her free."

His palms burn through the denim on your thighs, but you welcome it as he slides your jacket over your shoulders to the bed beneath.

"You are the winner of wars. You are the one who grants battlefield wishes. You are the dead's escort to Hades." He leans down, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek and then down your throat.

He pulls back as he gets to your collarbone, eyes blown wide with unfamiliar desire, and it makes your breath catch in your throat.

"You," Taehyung tells you, with desire in his eyes and belief in his voice, "Deserve to be treated like the goddess that you are, with the respect you have earned, and the care you deserve."

As often as you fuck people, it's been a very long time since anyone wanted to fuck you for any reason beyond your appearance and the personality you show them. But this? This look in the muse's eyes as his hands settle on your knees as he waits?

Taehyung wants to fuck you because you're you. Not despite it, not because he doesn't know . He has seen you at your worst and yet he keeps coming back, keeps showing up as you fall apart. Each time he stays, hands you a basket so you can pick the pieces of yourself up off the ground, holds the tape so you can mash it back together, and is ready to help steady you when you start to crumble again.

He's here for you , to treat you in a way no one has ever treated you before. He's your friend.

He cares.

You nod, however tentatively, and his lips are on yours in an instant. They're firmer now, less pliable and more controlling, but you don't mind. Not this time.

Not with Taehyung.

His hands don't hesitate as he strips you both of your clothes, but you can feel it each time he checks to make sure you're okay. The way that he watches your expression, the tense of your muscles under him, the cadence of your gasps for air between kisses, he reads all of it as clear as if it's a book in front of him. He slows down before you can stop him, his lips drawing back from the kisses he draws across your thighs, and he speeds up as your thoughts start to drift, swiping his tongue and two fingers through your folds to tease and bring your attention back to him.

His fingers bury themselves in your heat, crooking slightly to brush against that soft part of you that makes the world spin, and it's all too intense. His lips are hardly even touching your skin, just pressing gentle kisses against the skin of your thigh, a gentle complement to the way he glides his fingers in and out of you, slow and steady and delicious, but it's absolutely intoxicating.

He's talkative, too; he gives you constant praise. He tells you how well you take his fingers, how good you look with his fingers inside you, how absolutely fantastic you taste on his tongue, how he'd live between your thighs if he could.

It's too much, and you can't be sure why, not when your orgasm is approaching quicker than it ever has, not when your walls clench around him and you soak your sheets, not when he's cleaning your cum off his fingers with his tongue.

"Good," He purrs. "Now you're all warmed up."

His mouth hits your heat without hesitation or warning, before the aftershocks are even finished, and your hips buck upwards. His arms slide underneath your thighs only to grip them and bring them back down. You can't move much in his grip except to grind your pussy against his mouth, which he seems to enjoy, if the muffled grunts that escape him are any indication.

He doesn't stop until his tongue is buried inside you with one finger drawing lazy circles on your clit and you're cumming again, hands gripping the soft strands of his hair so tight that you would be afraid of pulling it out if you could focus on anything besides the feel of him against you.

He lets you ride the aftershock, this time. Waits until your pants die down slightly, until you're back in your mind.

"Good?" He asks you. His voice is deeper, rumbles instead of slides, but it breaks through the post-orgasm haze long enough for you to nod. “More?”

“More,” you agree, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders and pulling him into a heated kiss. You haven’t been this clear-headed in a while. Every sensation is clear and crisp, every sound heightened, everything is simultaneously more while also being exactly what it’s always supposed to have been.

Taehyung’s cock is everything you could have expected from a muse; thick, long, beautiful, and it fills you in a way that’s indescribable as he slides inside. He groans at the feeling, deep and throaty and beautiful, and begins his thrusts nearly immediately.

It’s as slow as he was with his fingers; steady and forceful, but unhurried. As if he wants to take his time. As if he wants to savor it. Savor you .

“Do you have any idea how amazing you are?” He mutters, almost as an afterthought. “What you look like right now, what you look like when you’re fighting, when you’ve won and you’re triumphant? It’s fucking addictive, seeing that confidence in you.”

“Shit, Tae, don’t stop-”

“It’s so fucking intoxicating,” He groans, pace quickening. Your arms wrap around him more fully, nails like claws down his back as you arch your back to get him deeper. “You get this look in your eyes, like you can do anything you fucking want to, and it’s so fucking brilliant, because you can , you can do anything and everything you ever fucking want to do, and no one can stop you.”

A whine you’ll never admit to escapes your throat, and Taehyung drives his cock further into you.

“Let go, my sweet,” Taehyung purrs in your ear. “Let yourself relax, just this once. For me.”

His hand touches your clit and it’s so much, too much , you’re feeling everything so intensely that it takes a solid minute to realize you’re coming down from an orgasm. Taehyung has stilled inside you, unmoving but groaning as you flutter around him, and you push weakly at his shoulder.

He slides himself out of you, looking entirely too proud of wet spot underneath you and glistening against his lower stomach. You wobble your way up to rest your elbows underneath you, and it’s like he can sense your words before they come.

“No,” He says simply. “I don’t you to get me off with your mouth.”

“A hand then? I don’t want you to leave unsatisfied.”

A frown pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he leans down just enough that your lips are almost touching, a not-there kiss that you can only wish for.

“In what world is fucking you to the point of Elysium unsatisfying?”

The crowd around you is deafening; some of them are cheering for you, but the majority are rooting for your downfall. Such is the life of a challenging the champion, you suppose.

You don’t know how Taehyung found this place; maybe Artemis had heard rumors, or maybe he searched for it himself. You can’t bring yourself to care, not when you’ve got someone worth fighting on the other side of the arena.

The sand crunches beneath your feet. It’s hot, hotter than it should be since you’re still wearing your signature jeans and boots - without the jacket this time. You learned from that mistake.

Your vision tints pink as you size up your opponent; he’s massive, not one to be easily defeated, and you relish the challenge. It’s been so long since you’ve fought a giant. Excitement thrums under your veins as he turns to you. He scoffs.

If you had a little less control, you might be flying across the arena already. He clearly has no idea who’s standing across from him. Probably thinks you’re some demigod, come to challenge him for the fleece he isn’t supposed to have.

He’ll learn.

Something moves in the distance. It should blend in, considering how dark it is, but instead it draws your eye, and you don’t even question why. You would recognize him anywhere, have recognized him everywhere, and his presence calms you. Makes you remember a few nights ago, falling into bed in a hotel in Rome because the burn was to much and you needed him to help you release it.

“Try not to be too quick, princess,” The giant across from you huffs. You cock a brow and send a look to your muse, who just rolls his eyes, despite the smile playing across his face.

Violet rings your vision as you ready your stance. The announcer yells something that’s lost over the noise of the crowd. Taehyung leans forward, elbows on his knees, excitement and pride in his eyes.

The giant swings.

867 notes · View notes

typinggently · 5 years

Note

I suppose the most important question is how feral, on a scale of one to buckwild feral, would Bruce go if Clark DID have a tentacle dick or some other. Alien anatomy. Because I feel like the range would be incredibly high and extremely filthy.

Anon I’m so glad you asked because I’ve been thinking about this for weeks now

I even had a post in my drafts that your post reminded me of it even though it’s super tame in comparison to what this answer here is going to be.

Firstly, to answer your question: He’d lose it.

Now, for a more in-depth approach:

Feral Bruce and his Alien Boyfriend

Warning, and I cannot stress this enough: Alien cocks to be discussed below. Also just. Nastiness.

I have to start by once again saying that Bruce is a freak. He already owns Alien Dildos before he even meets Clark. So when sweet sunshine Clark shyly hints that he has some anatomical differences to humans, Bruce, who fucked himself with the ribbed Purple Star Destroyer XXL glow in the dark limited edition just this morning, gives him a blank stare, mentally hyperventilating.

Now, the thing is: Imo, Clark fucks. Blame it on the bathtub scene in BvS (shameful confession: I…actually didn’t see BvS bc I am really bad at remembering to watch films but I know it happens and I’m thankful), but I think “regular” Clark gets a fair share. He’s no Brucie, but he enjoys human interaction, i.e. cute little dates where he shows them the farm and then playfully fucks them in the barn. It’s been mentioned, we know what’s up. But I do think alien anatomy!Clark would be a tad shy about the “issue”. We can either go with the narrative that he’s never trusted anyone enough to reveal that part of himself (cute, romantic) and instead just really likes to give head, all “No, no, it’s fine, I just want to make you feel good”, wet chin, glassy-eyed and flushed, turned on to the point of shaking but holding back (hot).

Or maybe he had penetrative sex with one (1) other person, which was also very sweet and fumbling and cutesy-romantic.

Either way. Either way, none of that compares to the way Bruce just silently vibrates with his “wow ok finally that’s great news I can’t wait to get railed hard by your alien cock(s)” energy. Like. That’s e n t h u s i a s m.

But! BUT! Clark doesn’t really know that yet. Because Bruce, A Bat of Science, goes “Interesting, fascinating, I would very much like a sample of your reproductive fluids to run some tests if that’s alright.”

So Clark, who respects science, goes “oh yes sure of course I can do that”

(Intermezzo: Does he take the little cup and goes to jerk off somewhere in private or does Bruce help?? The self-control it would take to come face-to-face with the object of desire (alien cock) and not take action would be immense. But also if he doesn’t, Clark might think Bruce is purely scientific in his interest so what is to follow will be extra nice and surprising)

(To be extra nasty: Bruce has SUCH a hard time with that sample because !! oh wow!! Clark’s come in a fancy little cup! The urge to guzzle it down…very prominent.)

A few days later, Clark gets a call from Bruce all “Test are done and you need to come over right now”. Worrying. So he drops whatever he’s doing and comes over. And oh boy. Clark has never, never seen Bruce in such a state of ferity. Wild eyes, flushed cheeks, practically vibrating. So he’s all “Oh boy oh golly am I poisonous what’s going on” but Bruce is in his space before he can even properly finish that. Between the tongue in his mouth and the hand in his hair and the other hand under his shirt, Clark manages to ask what the heck’s going on, and Bruce is all “Your sperm is perfectly safe for consumption. Come on, I need it.” Tearing at Clark’s shirt, one hand already between Clark’s thighs, greedily feeling him up through the thick material of his jeans. That’s e n t h u s i a s m.

NOW!!! What does Clark’s alien cock look like???

Tentacles are like. Classy. I wish I could name my favoruite but..I FORGOT the TITLE and it’s super frustrating and I’m super sorry. Still. Tentacles can be very nice.

What I came up with at some point was this: forked. That is to say. Two cocks. Ribbed, with the ribs (..?) pulsing when Clark is in a state of great arousal. Slightly warmer to the touch than one would anticipate.

Also: “Showers of Blessing” by FabulaRasa tackles the idea of like. Massive amounts of come. It’s super nsfw and it’s really nice. Maybe we’re not thinking quite THIS much. But. A lot of come.(I can’t link it without risking that the entire post gets swallowed up, even though I’m not sure I would want anyone to find this tbh tbh tbh)

So if we go with the “I had sex with someone very dear to me once” thing, they 100% only “used” one of the available options for penetration. If it’s tentacles, I doubt penetration actually happened. (Flushed, touch-starved Clark overwhelmed that someone is touching him at all, helplessly bucking into the hand of his puppy love with his love-drunk tentacles all wiggly and thrilled to be touched… nice.)

What I’m getting at is that Clark is just not prepared for someone to go “Ok I’m going to take all of this in one go actually”

Bruce is an all-or-nothing, straight into the deep end type of guy to begin with. But lust-drunk Bruce? He’s a mess. He’s got the determination to stroke and suck on whatever he can get his mouth and hands on. Clark is a little worried that he’ll unhinge his jaw in his enthusiasm. Not that Clark has much capacity for worry left when he has the visuals of Bruce between his legs, flushed and messy, drooling all over himself as he attempts to shove two cocks down his throat.

As established, alien anatomy!Clark hasn’t had that many sexual encounters and certainly never one that actually fulfilled all of his needs. But Clark still has a very potent sex drive. And he’s just now experiencing how good sex actually feels. So -Bruce is not the only one going a little mad.

So when Bruce’s completely blissed out, stuffed to the brim with alien cock, Clark loses it a little, too, and fucks him to pieces. He still has some grasp on his strength, of course, but it’s slipping ever so slightly. Overwhelmed as he is, he jackhammers Bruce into the bed, possibly breaking it in the process. Absolutely overwhelmed with the soft heat of Bruce, with his hitched little moans and his flushed-dripping cock.

The orgasms are intense. Petit Mort is the right word. Clark’s panting. He’s sweating. Bruce, meanwhile, is a complete, blissed out mess, overstimulated and boneless, sucking bruises into Clark’s neck lazily while he waits for the high to pass. Truly sated.

Very compatible. Absolute messes.

End notes: Uh? I hope this somewhat answers your question. I feel like I escalated a little. Thank you so much for joining me on that trip to filth town ;^; (I wrote this in 1.5 hours instead of doing uni work…)

#filth #feral bruce hours #superbat

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big-girl-toaster · 5 years

Text

Emily Sonnett - player analysis

A compilation of Sonnett‘s strengths, weaknesses (cause everyone has them) and general observations from Portland and USWNT games (mostly from 2018 and 2019) ft. my irrelevant opinion.

Enjoy!

Before I’ll start a few notes:

I’m obviously not a professional soccer analyst person or whatever, so please don’t come for my ass. These are just patterns or reoccurring things in Sonnett’s game I observed while rewatching tons of PTFC and USWNT games.

I will focus on a few key points, that doesn’t mean that she has deficiencies in other aspects, sometimes it’s just hard to show them and I tried to avoid stating arguments without giving visual evidence. (All the links and credits are below the gifs)

I would love it if you gave additions, feedback or criticism to this post but all in all I just hope that you enjoy reading a bit about Sonnett’s more professional side and soccer tactics in general.

Please let me know if the format is weird, I’m still figuring out how to make big posts.

I sincerely apologize for the low quality of gifs, as I said, I’m figuring things out and I wasn’t able to upload proper clips.

And lastly, Sonnett is a precious little bean and I enjoyed making this more than I should have. Also, did I use this as an excuse to spend days on end rewatching old games? Yes I did.

I will start with three main strengths I think she brings to the pitch:

Communication / Leading the back line (this is in regards to her position with the Thorns, I will talk about the differences between PTFC/USWNT later on)

As a center back you naturally have a more responsible role in terms of shifting players that are in front of you and communicating things to them they can’t necessarily see. Sonnett embraces that role completely and at 25 years old she is at the level of world class CBs in that regard. A lot of players take on that role much later in their career. Her college coach Steve Swanson for the University of Virginia said about her:

"There is a standard of focus and intensity that Emily demands of the players that play around her. She’s not afraid to hold her teammates accountable in that regard. That was one of the unique aspects of our team dynamic this year, is that Emily's style of leadership is different than the team was used to. I think the team has recognized that the qualities Emily has, we need.“

http://www.espn.com/espnw/news-commentary/article/14100802/virginia-emily-sonnett

This clip I wanted to show you is from a situation that is very common for a defensive line but overlooked bc we as viewers naturally tend to look at the movement of the ball. It’s the intentional shifting of the back line in the exact right moment to let an opposing attacker run into offside. In the original video you can hear Sonnett shout “DROP THE LINE“ and Menges and Kling follow her movement which results in Alex being successfully caught offside at the side line.

((Tumblr won’t let me upload video clips, so here’s a crappy gif (look at Sonny and Menges), click the link to get to youtube, it’s at 21:30))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JGM6Nju0b4

A simple moment but a very crucial part of back line coordination.

2. Box positioning

A.k.a. one of the most important parts of good defending. Sonnett covers runs from attackers almost always with textbook precision. She anticipates passes and is able intercept balls which makes her a proactive rather than a reactive player. When she does have to go for a tackle she brings a feistiness that she probably learnt from a certain Kelley O’Hara I can imagine. She usually opts for slide tackles and that decision could be debatable if you’re the coach but it’s just so good to look at tbh

(credit to @geekmythologys for the last gif)

But anyway, her box positioning. Having watched a lot of games with my eyes glued to number 16, I can of course safely say that Sonnett knows what she’s doing. But I’ve been thinking more and more that she often has a sort of intuitive approach when it comes to box positioning in particular. For this next clip I’m gonna need your opinion. Normally I wouldn’t tell Sonnett to abandon her player in that moment, especially bc it creates a 3v2 situation on the attackers left side and also considering the angle in which Dunn is facing the goal. However, she steps in and is able to block the ball.

to see it properly: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ at 15:40

What do you think?

Oh and this is just excellent clearance work. AD was certainly hyped about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvcOuadyFu4

3. Offensive effort

Sonnett is one of the highest scoring CBs of the league but her offensive efforts aren’t measurable in just goals. For corner kicks she likes to do the near-post run Julie Ertz style and has been successful in the past, most notably the 2-0 in the semifinal 2017 against Orlando (which resulted in this gem of a gif):

She likes to stay up top for a bit when her position is covered by someone else and tbh I’m living for these moments.

Here she encourages quick playing and would have gotten through with it if the nwsl had good refs. She didn’t even touch her. (get it? haha)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

Here she drives the ball after winning it, even if her teammates are pushing up late and then she stays up front to participate in the counter attack. Unfortunately nothing evolves out of this situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ev3SFCmbqQ

Right. Those were the strengths, in terms of weaknesses, I don’t wanna pick apart the smallest things but this is what I found:

Misjudged midfield positioning

We’ve talked about her excellent positioning in the box, however, a huge part of modern soccer is having the Center Backs pushed up to the half-line (as well as inverted outside backs but that’s another point). And what I’ve noticed is that sometimes during turnovers Sonnett goes in to put pressure on the player and with that an even wider space opens up behind her that the opposing team could exploit. Like in this picture.

Blue is the ball movement, red (Sonnett) goes in when in my opinion green (Lindsey) should have been the one putting pressure on the ball bc now Daly can run into that open space.

Luckily Sonnett’s speed prevents Houston from getting anything out of it but Daly tried it several times during the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOIDLJ4ZL1A

My second example is that iconic tactical foul against ARod that we all remember.

Her positioning isn’t optimal, Klings pass isn’t the best, ARod gets her off of the wrong foot, she can’t turn around fast enough and has to stop her with a professional foul which is (I’ll say it again) demanded by coaches in situations like that. But anyway, tumblr has talked enough about this game rip

2. Determining the biggest threat

This is a minor one, because Sonnett is usually really good at reading the game and making the right decisions. However in this game against Australia, she tries to cover the space behind Dahl which is technically reasonable but considering how wide open the Australian is, she should have closed her in earlier. That little hop inside the center of the field made the difference and the opposing player was able to score.

I think it’s safe to say that stuff like this comes with age and experience. And again, Sonnett is only 25!

(The whole game against Australia is awesome for spotting strengths and weaknesses, plus we get tons of Sonny close-ups thus I can recommend rewatching it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Two more things I wanted to include are two risks that could be relevant in the future.

From time to time she doesn’t control her arm movement in the box.

This is obviously the natural thing you do when you make a move like that but with the new rules by Fifa, defenders are more and more limited and this would have been a penalty if it had hit her arm. Idk it could bite her in the ass at some point.

2. Intuitive positioning

We’ve talked about this and people might have different opinions on it. I personally think though that this might make the difference between a great and a world class defender. So I say go for it Sonny.

Phew, I’m almost done guys, congrats for getting this far, I hope it’s interesting at all.

The last thing I wanna mention is this: The difference between Portland Sonnett and National Team Sonnett, a.k.a. CB Sonnett and RB Sonnett.

Even though as a right back your role is more offensive, I feel like Sonnett has to be pushed to go for it. She rarely does those runs in behind the winger and towards the end line. When she does it it’s great but compared to Kelley she simply isn’t there yet. It also seems to me like for Portland she takes more liberties in pushing forward which maybe is a confidence thing as well. She is a given for the Thorns but had to fight to regain that roster spot for the NT in 2017 after not being called up for several months. Maybe the fear of making mistakes bc of being out of position hinders her a bit? (I’m saying this while being aware that I of course don’t know what the coaches want her to do and what the different game plans require of her.) Anyway, I love her 1v1 defending as RB. I think she is underrated and absolutely deserves a spot on the Olympic roster next year.

One last low quality gif because we gotta stay on brand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBNvE3owllY

Well that’s it, I hope you enjoyed it. Again, I’d be grateful for additions, opinions, feedback, whatever.

Thanks for reading :)

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franeridart · 5 years

Text

Anon said: Um so hello, I’m just here to say keep up the awesome work, I love your kiribaku art and it’s adorable and I go on binges through your blog (omg I sound so creepy I’m sorry I just love ur art so much) and it makes my day so yeah please keep drawing!

Ahhhhh you don’t sound creepy at all, don’t worry!!!!! Thank you so much for liking my stuff that much!!!!!!! <3<3

Anon said: May ask what kiri///mina would look like in your style? You don't have to draw it if you don't like the ship.

Gosh sorry but I really really don’t ship it!

Anon said: you know how I miss?? your OCs!!! they're the cutest!!

AWE thank you so much!!!!!!! I have a few comics planned for them, hope I’ll manage getting to them soon enough!!! (oT^T)9<3

Anon said: This is so sappy but some of your kiribaku posts really make me really appreciate long relationships! I’ve always found pining and crushes the cutest bc it’s full of intense feelings, but you portray being in love and accepting each other so well!! it’s amazing how you show characters interacting with each other and being so comfortable instead of worrying about hiding part of themselves and long story short I love your art and ideas so much

This ask!!!!!!!!! means the universe!!!!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so glad I can manage portraying love in such a way, I’m so in love with the idea of open, accepting love, andI try seriously hard to make it look healthy in my comics so!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no clue how many times I’ve reread this ask I’m not even exaggerating TT^TT <3

Anon said: I just want to start off by saying you’re my favourite blog on tumblr, your art is incredibly adorable and always makes my day!! I was just wondering how you were able to create your own unique art style? It’s something I’ve been struggling with a lot lately with my own art. Any advice is appreciated, thanks for everything you do!!

I think it’s about finding the right spot between what feels comfortable for you and the end you’re using your art for? In my case what’s comfortable is something fun and smooth, and the main end has always been to be able to draw comics - I’ve always liked comics because I like writing and I like drawing, but my attention span was too short to manage finishing them, and the way I had of drawing was too stiff to properly convey emotions the way I wanted to, which made drawing comics sound like an impossible dream haha I fixed it by simplifying my style, by taking away or reducing to the bare minimum everything that took me ages to work out/draw and pushing my expressions and body language to extremes to make up for the lack of details.

That’s just my experience with it, though! The best advice I can give you is to sit back and look at your current way of drawing from an objective perspective - do you enjoy it? Is the process of drawing something you’re comfortable with? What’s uncomfortable in it for you, and in which ways could you change it to make it comfortable and fun? Does your current art style allow you to do what you want to do with your art? If you want to paint, does it allow you to paint in an easy and fun way? If you want to make comics, does it allow you the range to properly portray a character moving and living without making you wish you’d never started drawing halfway through it?

Imho the first step to find a style that’s your own and feels right is to find a style that’s fun to use and doesn’t stress you to hell and back every time you pick up your pencil. This is easier to do the more things you attempt, so for a bit being inconsistent in style is a good and normal thing - try things out! The best one for you will definitely stick in the end. And if you already feel comfortable with the way you have of drawing, then hell! You already have a style that works for you! Just because to you it doesn’t look unique and special it doesn’t mean that it isn’t - if you asked me to point out what makes my style unique I wouldn’t be able to tell you either, the way I see it my style is the most uninteresting and common-looking style out there. To be honest with you that’s probably just how it is for every artist out there hahaha

Anon said: Hi!! I love your art and just want you to know I always get a big, stupid smile on my face whenever I see you cross my feed, whether it’s something new or a reblog of an old post. Everything you do is just amazing and I love it

AHHHHHHH Thank you so so much!!!!!!!!! (TT^TT)<3<3<3

Anon said: Hey Fran! First off, thank you for the Fire Force art. I remembered to actually check it out, after seeing it lol. Second, I still can't find your Fatgum 😭😭 the link didn't give any, and searching on your page didn't help either. I WILL FIND IT ONE DAY

I think it’s a problem of the app orz I can see him just find from desktop but the app can’t find him either T-T stupid app!

Anon said: Do you have a mini Bakugou and Kirishima living in your head? Are they just living their lives up in your brain and that causes your hand to to write and draw the most perfect and accurate things? Of course mini Kaminari, Sero, Mina, Jirou, etc. also come to visit your head hole from time to time and just chill with mini Baku and Kiri. That’s the only logical explanation on how all your Bakushima content is so inconceivably spot on

That’s such a kind thing of you to say, anon!!!!!! I’m glad you find them that IC!!!!!! I try my best, but sometimes I admit I just have them do and say stuff I’ve done and said myself, the only difference is that I word things in a way that feels right for their usual way of talking hahaha

Anon said: I personally would love to read your essay on why bakugo is the best character ever because I really really really want to love him that much but i feel like there's something that I'm just not getting about him- there's something I'm missing about his personality (keeping in mind that i kinda left the manga after the whole mirio/8 precepts arc). I've always found bakugo compelling and would love love love to read your take on him! Hope you have a great day!

Bakugou has had some amazing character development scenes after the overhaul arc!!!!! He’s outright shown he understands where he was lacking and where he was wrong, that he’s perfectly capable of working in a team and letting people help him and helping them in return, that he cares about his class and how the rest of the world sees them! (and that he worries/cares about how the world sees him too, actually, that broke my heart a bit ;; ) We haven’t seen him in a hot minute by now, but most of anything before the current arc has had him improve and develop and become even better than he already was - I’ve always thought him a good guy with just a lot of troubles relating to the world around him due the way he has been brought up as special and different (it creates a drift between yourself and the rest of the world when everyone around you keeps treating you as if you were other - when you tell a kid he’s different and better for his whole life he’s bound to grow up believing it, after all), but if the problem you have with him is that he isn’t showing the good in himself plainly and obviously enough, then the arcs after the overhaul one are gonna help you like him better, definitely

Well, the thing about Bakugou is that he’s not a plain/obvious character, so you need to think about his actions and his words a bit more, and can’t just take him at face value - it’s what I like about him, actually! How much you need to think about him to figure him out on a deeper level than just the surface one. Since I dunno why you like him and why you feel something’s missing, I can’t tell you specifically what it is in the way I see him that completes him for me, but as I said I try to keep him as IC as I can so probably reading my comics about him might help you understand the way I see him. To me Bakugou’s honest, and kind, and loving, but he’s also arrogant, and angry, and used to taking some things for granted, and I like how all those things work with and against each other in his character. He’s at the same time incredibly proud and absurdly insecure, and I like that about him too - where each comes from and where and how they clash, I like the complexity it gives him. I like that he’s a people person in the sense that he likes having people around himself, and I like that at the same time UA is the first time he’s had actual, honest to god best friends, and how that means that he’s gonna be awkward when usually he’s so sure and proud simply because he isn’t used to having people he actually specifically cares for, I very much like that about him. I like that he overthinks everything he doesn’t immediately gets, I like that he still acts on instincts more often than not, I like that somehow with him those two aren’t mutually exclusive. I like that he’s smart and still so damn dumb, I like that he’s just as simple-minded as he is an actually labyrinth in thought process, I like how one-track minded he is even on the most silly things - how once he sets his eyes on a goal he goes for it like his life depends on it. I like that he’s barsh and rude and impulsive in what he says and does, but when he fucks up he knows he fucked up, and he backstracks, and he does his best to make amends. I like that he sits in stupid ways and has the worst posture in the class and then he wears his hero costume and suddenly he’s a model on the catwalk, that’s so damn endearing to me. I like how ridiculously hyperbolic he is and how he just assumes people will get it, get what he actually means, like there’s a point between his brain and his mouth were things get blown out of proportion and he doesn’t even realize it. There’s just so many things to love about him, for me!!

But most importantly I like that he started as low as he could get and that because of it his plot is a one way towards the summit. I like it. I like watching a character grow and every new chapter become a better version of themselves, I love it. Ultimately that’s probably why he’s my favorite, after all haha

Anon said: Hi, this isn’t a question but I just wanted to say how much I love your art and the way you clearly appreciate Bakugou as a character. So many of my friends hate him, but I think he has a lot of depth and so much potential. Your art always makes me smile! Thanks for doing what you do. :)

THANK YOU and thank you for liking the boy too!!!!!!! He deserves it, he absolutely does deserve it!!!!!!! <3<3<3

Anon said: I just went digging in the archives of my blog (which is.. a mess) and found some old art of yours (like... I'm talking bokuto and kuroo level old) and g o s h. I already loved your art so much then and I still do n hhhhhhhh u go. U great.

Gosh you’ve been around a long time then!!!!! Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time!!!! ✨o(TT0TT)o✨

#fran answers #long post #sorry for disappearing on all of you btw!!#some of you might know already but i've spent most of the last week consuming stuff more than producing it haha #sometimes i need that too

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sergeanttpoliteness · 6 years

Text

➹tickle war➹(miles morales x reader)

Requested by @ponyboys-sunsets ➝ GIVE ME ANYTHING WITH MILES PLEASE GOOD LORD I LOVE HIM literally just y/n and him being super h*ckin cute! like cuddling and we get in like a tickle fight or something and it’s just so cute!

Did you really have a good cuddling session if it doesn’t turn into a tickle fight?

word count: 3.1k

a/n: oof, i had some terrible writer’s block so finishing this was the most fulfilling thing ever omg. hello @ whoever’s reading this! i’m sorry this request took so long, i really need to learn how to write faster lol, but it’s here and it’s short but cute and i love it. i didn’t really edit it tho so if there are any mistakes i’m sorry. i forgot to say this last post but holy shit thank you so much for over 150 followers! and 620 notes on my first peter b. story (working on part 2 btw wink)??? the heck?? that’s nuts, i hope every single one of you enjoy what i write (: request are open if anyone is interested, especially since valentines day is so soon, so feel free to send something if you want! also i’ve decided that mcdonald’s in miles’ universe is called mcdonnie’s bc why not lmao

You could be too messy sometimes. Things to add to your next year resolutions (you were also too lazy to start right now— again, one more addition to the list): for the love of future you, stop throwing stuff wherever just because you don’t have the energy or will to properly place it in its appropriate spot. If only you’d worked on that flaw earlier, for right now you had your toothbrush inside your mouth— your tongue crying out from the icy pinch of the mint— frantically rummaging through your room, seeking for your favorite jacket. The weather that night didn’t necessarily call for the use of a coat, and it’s not that you were the fashionista of the generation (you tried your best… most of the time), but it was the last detail your outfit needed for it to be impeccable, and of course you’d turn your room upside down just to find it. It wasn’t as disastrous— perhaps for future you, yeah— but at least you got ahold of those pants that had been missing for weeks which sweetly hugged your figure in all the right places, along with a two-year-old calculator (hey, no more asking your classmates for an extra one) that’d do wonders for your brain during math class.

In the midst of your hunt, a clatter outside caught your attention. No big deal; you did live in New York, after all— the complete opposite of a ghost town. However, you later realized it wasn’t outside. No, it was your window. It happened again— clink! You recoiled, a small yelp escaping your throat. When it continued, you contemplated running away and calling your parents, frightened like a small child who suspects there’s a monster under their bed; but the detective in you (and stupidity, since this is exactly how people die in horror movies) drove you to investigate. You opened the curtains with a determined attitude, your expression hard and stern, but that temporary bravery fled out of your body the instant you laid your eyes upon the dark faceless figure staring back at you. You screamed— or tried to, taking in mind the toothpaste— scrambling to grab the nearest object to attack. But your vision adjusted once the light from your bedroom illuminated the intruder, and your rushing heartbeat eased with the laughing face of your boyfriend.

You rolled up your window, a distressed crease between your eyebrows. “Mwolth, whot thwo fwock!” You exclaimed through the abundance of toothpaste, tilting your head back to stop it from leaking through the sides of your mouth. Miles’ snickers, although adorable, heated your cheeks further from the humiliation.

“Sorry! I didn’t think it’d scare you that much.”

“Y—” You began, but raised a finger, telling him to wait, and ran to the bathroom. After spitting out the toothpaste and rinsing your mouth and sink in the record time of six seconds, you barged back into your room and to your open window. He was nowhere to be seen, until you looked out in search of the boy and your vision shifted below you: he sat against the brick wall, his knees close to his chest. You sighed, rubbing your eye as you chuckled at him. “You’re one hell of a boy.”

He showed you a crooked grin. “Is that good or bad?”

“It’s good. Why didn’t you just, uh, I don’t know— knock on my door like a normal person?”

“Well, ‘cause I’m not like other guys,” He joked, his voice husky and mysterious, a smolder adorning his face. You closed your eyes as you laughed and he shrugged. “I just wanted to be a romantic boyfriend, y’know, and throw rocks at your window!”

You let out a dreamy sigh, fanning yourself. “So romantic, giving me a heart attack.”

“What can I say? I’m the master of romance.”

“Alright, master of romance, get in before one of my neighbors sees you and faints.” You waved your hand before walking away, continuing to ransack your dresser. Miles climbed the rest of the wall and up to the opening casually with his hands inside his pockets, as if it were the most common ability a teenager could ever have. He gasped when he entered and took in the chaos your room had become: the floor cluttered with crumpled schoolwork and socks (why did you have so many socks?), a mountain of pajamas on your bed, and the mess only incremented as you tossed and additional shirt on your desk.

“What the hell happened here?” He frowned, stuck where he stood due to the path full of obstacles. You cursed under your breath and slammed the cabinet closed, moving on to the last one.

“I can’t find my jacket,” You grumbled, your scowl exchanged by a puzzled stare as a shirt you wore when you were eight dangled in front of you. “God, I really need to take out a lot of stuff.”

Miles jumped from each clean spot to another, pausing when he noticed an old broken Spider-Man keychain tangled with a wool friendship bracelet. He carefully grasped it with his fingers, his mouth twitching. “I’m not surprised.”

You glanced back at him, your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

His face twisted at your question as he laughed. “Y/N, I love you, but you can really be the messiest person at times. Like, look!” He jangled the keychain and your eyes lit up, your hand reaching out to take it. “This thing is from like seven years ago— I got it from McDonnie’s, too. I bet you ‘accidentally’ misplaced it and it just disappeared.”

“Dude! I was so sad when I lost this keychain, I blamed this kid in my class and said that he stole it. Apparently he didn’t,” You mumbled sheepishly, and then hissed when you saw the purple and black bracelet wrapped around the metal ring. “I used to be friends with this girl and she gave me this bracelet.”

“What happened to her?”

“Our friendship ended when I accidentally dropped her hamster down the stairs.”

His eyes widened in horror, but moments later he was wheezing as he sat down on your bed. “Damn, Y/N.”

“Look, I felt terrible afterwards. I just wanted to see it roll in the plastic ball thingy,” You grimaced, apologizing in your head to the spirit of the unfortunate creature you accidentally murdered. Before you started crying, though, the irritation bubbled up in your chest and you rubbed your temples. “I still can’t find my jacket!”

“I can give you my jacket, i-if you want.” Miles offered shyly, flustered and ready to slip off his coat.

He paused when you rested your hand on his shoulder, which later came up to playfully poke his cheek. “What a cutie. But I don’t want you to freeze to death, not exactly the date that I was plan—” You stepped on something and you peeped down. You cried out for the exact article of clothing you just wasted ten minutes searching for peeked out from under your bed. “Oh, found it!” You gasped, lifting the jacket, hugging it as if you’d just found your long-lost child after sixteen years. You slipped your arm inside one sleeve, your other hand simultaneously tugging Miles’ while you prepared to leave your room.

“Shouldn’t we clean this up before we leave?” He gestured to your surroundings. You scanned the disorder, biting your lip as you deeply considered it, your skin itching because of the area identical to a wreckage.

You dismissed your discomfort with a whine, pulling his wrist again and dragging him through the mess and out of the room with you. “I can do that later, let’s go!”

You didn’t exactly know where you were going; so when you jumped off your apartment complex’s stairs and into the sidewalk, you turned around and stared at Miles like an expectant puppy willing to follow its owner to the end of the world. “Where to, captain?” You cheerily asked.

“You’re weirdly hyper today.” Miles pointed out, but not as a complaint— no, not at all. Your euphoria was responsible for his stretching smile and the electricity in his fingertips; it enhanced your beauty to a degree that it was blinding, a supergiant star whose radiance fondly enveloped the boy and heated up his entire body with its dripping gold. It was a heat wave he’d willingly succumb to— he’d float in your grace, suffocate with your allure, feel it all over as you happily linked your arms together, sending that spark running through his veins.

“I guess it’s just the rush you get on a Friday night, you know?” Yes, that was definitely it— it’s not like you took a power nap you woke up from twenty minutes ago, and consequently, had to inhumanly speed through your steps to get ready before Miles arrived; what are you talking about? But it also was almost impossible not to be as joyous when you’d missed Miles’ presence for an entire week. Yes, phone and video calls patched up that loneliness and longing, but it was just a bandaid for a larger wound— you didn’t know you could be so needy; a surprise, indeed, when you’d find yourself craving to jump through your cell phone’s screen and snuggle into the boy’s embrace. “I’m also really glad to see you, though.” You bashfully admitted.

“It was just a week.” He laughed, except that he’d missed your touch just as much, if not more. And you weren’t offended that he didn’t kiss your forehead and reveal he did as well, really, because you knew the truth by the way he walked so unnecessarily close to you in spite of the broad path.

You snuggled your head on his shoulder, sighing in bliss. “I don’t care, you still owe me a lot of cuddles. And I also don’t have no idea where you’re taking me— maybe you’re about to kill me, or something.” You said lowly, your eyes wide.

“It’s… kinda a desolate place, but I promise I didn’t pick it so I could kill you.” He giggled, bumping his shoulder into yours. You lifted your head and narrowed your eyes at him, scoffing.

“That’s exactly what a murderer would say.”

Gladly, your claims that Miles was planning to execute you in the middle of nowhere were nothing but an amusing belief; that surely would’ve been a lamentable twist, especially for you. However, you somewhat started to wish it had been your fate as you panted heavily and dropped on your knees on the muddy grass of the seemingly endless hill you and Miles were climbing. “I give up,” You breathed out, sprawling your limbs defeatedly. “I think I’m gonna go into cardiac arrest.”

Miles glanced back at you and rolled his eyes before resuming his strides. “God, your P.E grade is probably terrible.” You didn’t reply, though, and he didn’t hear any exaggerated struggling noises. He turned around, his gaze settling on your body which appeared dead resting in the same place you stopped. “C’mon, babe, we’re almost there!”

You didn’t budge, solely weakly waving your hand at him. “I was nice knowing you, but I think this is where I meet my demise.”

He looked heavenward, taking a deep breathe to recharge his soul. You were damning the gloomy clouds for obscuring the glimmering stars when Miles’ face, staring down at you, popped into your sight. You smiled, your hand reaching up to try and touch his cheek as you cracked up. “Hi.” You said innocently with a childlike expression.

The corner of his mouth lifted upwards. “Hi. Get up.”

“It’s really comfy down here.”

“I bet, probably better than the hammock that’s up the hill.” He smirked when he attracted your attention.

“A hammock? You got a hammock up there?” You inquired in disbelief. His grin vanished, and his voice was high pitched as he dubiously shrugged.

“Kind… of? It’s not your usual hammock you’re probably thinking about.” He gently nudged you with his foot and you complained, turning to lie on your side. “I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

The words ‘piggyback ride’ excited you too much, almost to the point that it could be used as a weakness against you as you scrambled to your feet and moments later leapt onto Miles’ back. You were lucky your boyfriend had super strength, you thought, especially for instances where your laziness and lack of durability got the best of you while walking up the steepest of hills you’d ever witnessed. You’d endure your short workout again or climb every mountain, though, if it meant you’d get to curl up against Miles on a hammock made out of his webs; your body resting on top of his, your legs tangled like an unbreakable knot, your mind fuzzy from the loving circles the boy caressed on your scalp while your thumb rubbed his shoulder. It was the type of intimacy no other could compare to— just the two of you, immersed and drenched with the eternal adoration you shared. The security and serenity of his embrace overwhelmed you enough that at any time the breeze would slightly swing the crib, you’d flinch, similar to when you jerk awake after almost dozing off. His chest vibrated with his giggles and you gazed up at him. The boy had been boring into you for the past few minutes; it wasn’t necessary to see it, you could just feel it (how could you not, after all, considering your close bodies?).

“This hammock kinda sucks.” You breathed out, feeling his arms squeeze your waist when the hammock wiggled harder.

“How can you say that?! It’s literally made out of webs.”

“Miles, it’s so small— I feel like if I even breathe too much I’m going to fall off.”

“So ungrateful, man.” He grumbled, shaking his head with a half-smile that stretched wider after you left a tender kiss on his jaw.

“I just don’t want to break a bone, you get me?” You sighed in relief when the wind, your current nemesis, calmed down. “That would kinda suck.”

“It would be funny.”

You poked his stomach and he squeaked like a stuffed animal who had a tag that read ‘try me!’. He grabbed your wrist, pouting down at you. “Take that back or you’ll be the one with a broken bone.” You warned, but Miles returned the jab, and your body jerked away from him as much as it could.

“If I fall, just know that you’re going down with me.” He raised a playful eyebrow. You tried to prod him again, but the boy didn’t allow you to get your hand near him by slapping it, poking your rib immediately after. You let out a malicious laugh, for he had no idea what was coming to him as you went in to tickle him for real this time. It wasn’t as easy, though; Miles put up quite the fight, one arm shielding his stomach while the other pushed your evil hands away. “You’re… entering… a dangerous… zone right now—” His sentence was repeatedly interrupted as you two fought a battle which would only result in falling to your deaths. Although he could only protect himself for so long, because in the brief millisecond he remained unguarded, your fingers found themselves attacking his abdomen. You straddled his waist as he screamed with laughter and writhed underneath you, kicking his feet all over the place.

“Y/N—“ He yelped, his eyes crinkled and glossy. “P-please!”

You stopped— you were no ruthless demon who tortured people with tickles; still, your shoulders bounced up and down at the sight of his wide eyes as he attempted to catch his breath and regain his strength. “I won!” You laughed, squishing his cheeks to taunt him, leaning down closer to his face with a smug smile. “Sorry.”

“I’ll only forgive you if you give me a kiss.” The seduction and cheekiness laced in both his voice and eyes were a good try, but it simply made you snicker more at how goofy the boy appeared. It did work in some way, though, because it fueled the desire to meet his lips further. Who were you to not comply to such yearning, anyway? Miles took ahold of your hands, intertwining your fingers, leaning up to catch your expecting mouth. You rested your hand on his chest to deepen the kiss, the swaying of the hammock a long-forgotten worry as all you could care about was the boy under you, his dainty and nervous fingertips lingering on your hip, the prickling that engulfed you when you felt his hammering heartbeat under your touch. He’d captivated you entirely, beckoning you to dive into a pool of his warmth that clouded all your senses; enough that you didn’t perceive his hands sneaking up your sides until—

You squealed into his mouth, a jolt running through your gut when he began to tickle you. You pulled away from the kiss and struggled to breathe as a fit of giggles left you, feebly pushing him away. In an attempt to move away, though, you leaned too much to your right— oh, shit was all you thought as you lost your balance. A short cry was the only sound you made as you began to plummet down to the grass. Your last moments were nice, you guessed; at least you got to make out with Miles for a while before dying, so perhaps you could accept your death peacefully. But you didn’t hit the ground. You breathed heavily and opened your eyes, the world upside down until you strained your neck to look up at the sky; you hung by your foot, which had entangled itself with the white string of the hammock, and your eyes drifted to Miles’ gigantic eyes.

“Holy shit!” You shouted, your body going limp when it became too tiring to continue staring up. “Holy shit! I almost fucking died!”

“Are you okay?!” Miles questioned, panicked. You heard a thump and soon your boyfriend stood in front of you, his hands on his head. When he saw you helplessly flailing your arms, however, he doubled over with laughter, slapping his knee.

“Miles! Please help me!”

“Okay, okay— uh, do you have like a knife, or something?”

“Why the hell would I have a knife?!”

“I-I don’t know! Self-defense, maybe. Let me see—” He dug through his pockets, and your (already red) face went pale when he took out his keys, flashing you a sympathetic tight-lipped smile.

It was going to be a long night.

#miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #sm:itsv #spider man into the spider verse #imagine #miles morales one shot #gender neutral #fem! reader #male!reader #spider man

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01010010-posts · 6 years

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— keep in touch.

requests: can i request something?? soooo, the bois have a s/o which really really craves lot of attention and cuddling but she can't speak up about it because she's shy and a tad insecure??? (totally not self-insert) you don't have to do it i'll be content either way if you post something different, i love your hc they're so heartwarming!!! love you, stay happy!!!!!

(will do the first one later) hello hello, reckless one was... succulent xD (gimme all dem ass, all dem booty) can i request some more? i saw you're not really sure about nsfw so maybe something mild? like very shameless s/o with sex jokes but not actual action, it could be a good thing to start, just a small suggestion :) and what about s/o who is uncomfortable with touching? bois want touch, s/o want touch but constantly thinks that they shouldn't and bois have to show it's okay (sorry it's 2 but I love you and am thirsty)

since i’m a fucking touchy-feely person this took longer than expected am sorry (no the truth is i really put my heart into RK900’s one bc i’m a bitch and y’all can’t stop me from loving him) is this what you wanted?? hope so!! also can someone please tell if there are some mistakes it’s 4 AM here i’m stupid.

Connor:

• a bit worried when you lean in and suddenly pull back • w-what was that • did u want a kiss? a hug?? some cuddles??? • did he do something wrong? • aaaaAAAAAAAAAA • he sees when you’re staring at him like that • but if you’re not comfortable telling him then…. • what should he do?? should he press you to talk? • he’s just happy with holding hands but • he knows humans want more than just holding hands • he starts to think that maybe the way he touches you is not what you expected • he’s still so-so about romantic human customs?? • maybe he doesn’t properly know how to kiss and you never told him bc you didn’t want to make things awkward between you two • he researches stupid wikihow articles about affection • but his stress level raises every time you avoid kissing him • and one day he kinda snaps and kisses you deeply • and then he gently asks you what’s wrong and maybe you don’t love him anymore? that’s also a possibility but he promises you that he won’t get mad or anything he just wants to know because seeing you like this make his thirium pump ache so much, it hurts. he wants to see you happy, with or without him • you’re there, blushing madly not only for the sudden kiss • but also because this whole time you were worrying about such a stupid thing and honestly?? you feel like shit now • i mean you better do bitch you made this pure boy cry • and you apologize, you tell him that no, of course you love him and him only it’s just…. very difficult for you sometimes to be comfortable with kissing and touching in general. you like his attentions, sure, you love them but let’s say you want a hug while he’s working on some files at home?? even though you know he wouldn’t tell you no or, at least, be rude about it, you’ll surely feel like a burden and you don’t want to feel that. and you don’t want to annoy him. • plus you’re shy!! • he makes the biggest sigh ever • and closes his eyes for a solid ten seconds, then opens them again and just smiles a smile so wide • he was so worried that you didn’t love him anymore?? • he simply tells you that if you want to touch him you can • however if you’re not sure you can ask!! he doesn’t mind you asking him • in fact he’s already picturing that he’ll like that • you asking for a hug or a kiss when he’s in the middle of something? absolutely adorable

RK900:

• very annoyed when you escape from his hugs • or when you avoid his loving gaze • do you think he’s not gonna notice? • he picks this stupid habit of tapping his fingers onto surfaces when you make him nervous • because that’s what you do, that’s right, you make his stress level so high • not that you particularly do something • quite the contrary in fact • why won’t you kiss him so often like you should? • he likes it if you do it often • he wants you to do it often • “you’re not performing normal human affectionate actions. why is that? should I be worried? based on my researches, at this point in a relationship an intimate routine should be well established by now. may I remind you that the act of ‘cuddling’ releases an amount of endorphins good enough to help most humans relax? for this reason may I suggest you to engage in sexual activities– ” • “what the fuck are you blabbering about” • “I was merely saying that it would be beneficial for both of us to pursue physical touch, if you would like to inquire why I can send to your e-mail some highly qualified medical links, they all point out that– ” • “I got that part. It’s– not true tho, that I’m not ‘performing affectionate actions’.” • you have the audacity to tell him this??? YOU HAVE BITCH?? • HE’S BEEN NERVOUS FOR WEEKS NOW AND YOU TELL THIS TO MY PRECIOUS ANGEL??? U DON’T DESERVE HIM • i swear to god he raises an eyebrow so high you think it’s gonna fucking reach his hairline • he licks his lips in disbelief and clicks his tongue • “we roughly kiss ten times a day, which is not an appropriate number considering that you also elude my attempts at giving you other forms of devotion. also, the fact that you’re being so evasive with the topic at hand implies an unnecessary shyness.” • by now you’re fucking red • and you feel so guilty you just want to sink into the couch and disappear • but he catches you before you can melt into the cushions • and he hugs you so tight • slowly hiding his face into your neck, softly inhaling your scent • “it’s okay to stay like this.” • and you return the hug and sigh • “I’m sorry. did I make you worry? I didn’t mean to…. it’s just that, you know, I want to touch you, I really do but– I’m shy. I’ve never felt this comfortable with anyone and I– I think I’m kinda scared to fuck things up, I guess?” • while you’re saying these things he’s already overheating bc are you serious? he didn’t thought you could be cuter than what you already are and yet you’re proving him wrong • if you could see his face? like the deep ocean • he has to raise a hand to cover his mouth bc his accumulated tension melted as soon as he touched you and these are the aftereffects • “there’s no chance for you to ‘mess things up’, like humans like to say, if you’re this cute. please do touch me more often.” • that’s it. • that’s all he has weakly managed to say • please don’t look at him or he’s going to cry • after something like one minute he takes a deep breath and kisses you • you’ve fucking broken him

RK800-60:

• it’s a little impossible for you not to be touched • i mean have you seen this little shit? • he wants he needs to touch you • all the time • like he won’t be able to function properly if you don’t give him at least two kisses every thirty minutes • in fact he doesn’t do shit at work • not that he’s going to willingly work if you’re there with him giving him kisses • he just doesn’t want to work at all okay • he just want to please you bc he cares about you not about his work • the laziest android ever assembled • i think he deviated just bc he was too lazy to work • so when sometimes you act kinda cold towards him his natural response is to be more and more affectionate • but when he notices that you’re being really elusive he gets really worried • he did something bad of this he’s sure • but what • he replays everyday in his head, searching for a clue • but he doesn’t find anything • which makes him more and more worried??? • ‘oh no [name] doesn’t love me anymore’ • his whole world comes crashing down • he get very depressed • why won’t you at least tell him?? • he figured it out already so please just release him from your grasp • but you start to notice too • how he’s not his usual self • how he doesn’t joke a lot • how he just mopes around • how he just doesn’t talk to you about his day • and you feel so bad • but you muster the courage to ask him what’s wrong • and he kinda goes silent • after a bit though he sighs and just shakes his head • “I know that you no longer love me, let’s just– just stop pretending.” • you feel so sick at the pit of your stomach, your heart shatters • “that’s not true– that’s not true at all! I love you so much, please believe me!” • “I said let’s stop pretending. you don’t have to lie to me [name]. I’m not a kid– heck I’m not even a human, what was I thinking when I tangled myself up in this mess.” • you start to sob, you cry endlessly • he’s so weak to your face full of tears • he can’t help himself and all of a sudden he’s hugging you like his life depends on it • “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. please forget it. you’re not a mess, you’re beautiful and I love you so so so so so much.” he mutters into your ears “I don’t know what I was thinking oh gosh– I’m really sorry, please don’t cry. that’s the last thing I wanted please, shh, it’s all right. I’m a fool, you know that, I just– just–” he sighs “I just thought that you were a bit too cold and I mean, maybe I did something bad? tell me if I did. because I searched and searched but I didn’t find anything in my software that could pinpoint to that. so my most logical conclusion was– I’m such a stupid, am I not?” • “I’m the stupid!” • “no you’re not you’re–” • “I’m the stupid I tell you! I didn’t know how much I was hurting you I–” he’s caressing your back and you’re kinda choking on your hiccups “I thought that I was being too cuddly I– I thought I was annoying you and you were only complying.” • he takes a big breath as relief washes over him • “what– no! of course not! I love you and I love you when you ask for some cuddles and when we kiss before work and and and I just love you. every part of you. even if you asked me to hug you every minute every second I’d still love you. even if you were being really annoying and bratty.” • you’re both two fucking giant stupid just stop this shit and kiss you cowards

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upslapmeal · 6 years

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The Tsuranga Conundrum

It’s funny how I saw everyone raving about the first two eps this series while I thought they did their job well enough without Grabbing me, and then when I finish an episode and go into the tag expecting to see people agreeing that it was solid and the series has hit its stride I............don’t see that.

I can’t believe we’re actually halfway through s11

@BBC pls fund the show enough to get all thirteen eps at this rate in a few years we’ll be getting miniseries that are six eps long

at least Chibbs’ speciality is character but we’re still missing out on spending time with them and getting to expand on them

glad to see the tardis in its natural habitat: and junkyard planet

ah yes the thing you do when you see a bomb is......not move.....

there are two Docs on board

geddit

bc Doc Brown

I think this is the first time I’ve seen him do acting rather than standup/panel shows but imdb tells me he’s done a fair bit

‘I'd say it was more of a volume than a chapter’ that line just felt so Doctor™

always the show off

but I do wonder what was in that volume

I saw someone talk about how the people on the ship’s reaction to the Doctor suggested that it was not all good but there was enough to know that they can let her take charge

I like that we got to see the Doctor have a moment of just....kinda blind selfishness

I’m just waiting to get a moment where the companions are scared of her, when they realise some of the stuff she’s done and what she’s capable of

I’ve said it in p much every review so far but I’m can’t wait for the Doctor to be furious

the jettisoned escape pod felt very 42

except Martha came out of that a fair bit better than Astos

man there was a moment there when I thought the sonic might be a goner

but then I remembered about merchandising

‘oh yeah sync the old ocular recorders it's obvious’

lots of good quality Thirteen Hand On Hips Leaning this ep

Yaz basically gently police interrogating Ryan about his life lol

Ryan :((

poor guy saw both his mum and his nan die

I made a note at this point in the ep that I was genuinely curious about how they were going to solve the p’ting issue

OH YEAH THE P’TING

I saw a review say it was too cute to be a serious threat but I thought it was just right

and man....the cgi was top notch

and the post-explosion p’ting was a level of happiness I aspire to tbh

its little fACE

though could they not have just ejected it when it was stunned? I guess it would have come back

but yeah I thought the p’ting problem gave a very engaging narrative framework for the ep

like there was lots of good character stuff but the plot that linked it all was solid too

'bit Poirot’

while I love Thirteen primarily being a Doctor of hope I do hope it’s kinda....something she’s telling or reminding herself to keep herself on track

and that we get to see that slip a bit later on

‘yeah we're blokes aren't we’

the scenes with Yoss and Ryan and Graham were so good

Ryan encouraging him was <3

'while you've been mucking around on youtube I've been learning useful life skills’ Graham really makes me laugh

and him always looking away at the squeamish bits is #relatable

(why is this the second ep of tv this week I’ve watched that has involved operating to get a baby out....though at least this one showed nothing)

I can’t believe I’ve not seen a gifset yet comparing Thirteen’s antimatter speech to One’s speech about the birth of stars

that’s the second time Thirteen has mentioned siblings (though not directly about herself this time) and it does make me wonder........

HAMILTON

‘I'll be so embarrassed’ ‘and dead’

again nice seeing that glimpse of the Doctor a little too focussed on their brilliance (in the context of helping people)

ok listen I honestly do not think I have ever laughed at this show as much as I did about baby Avocado

idk if it was actually that funny or just the way they played it but genuinely I think I had to pause the ep for a sec I was laughing so much

truly a Classic Earth Ballad moment

the ending of the ep was beautiful

as a whole it was a properly solid ep I really enjoyed

a good take on base-under-siege and worked in the trademarked Chibnall character work

and the more I see people complain about the ep the more I’ll defend this

Really excited to properly see Yaz take the spotlight next week and I have a slight feeling we’ll be getting to see some anger from Thriteen or at least some more hints of the less-than-perfect Doctor that lies beneath...but that feeling is based on nothing so we’ll just have to wait and see

#the tsuranga conundrum #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #dw #ramblings

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tsukkinode · 6 years

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Cosmania 2018: Ino Hiroki and Asuma Kousuke Fan Meet Report

Hello! I’m back with a new fan report, and it’s from the recent Cosmania 2018 in the Philippines where Hiroki and Kousuke came as special guests! It was a pretty fun and wild(?) fan meeting, so I hope you enjoy my report!

Note: I know that a lot of fan reports have emerged from Twitter, but I would appreciate it if you would link back to this post if you ever decide to share any parts from this post. This is ging to be as detailed as possible esp the talk part. Thank you!

I also have a Ko-fi account, so if you ever want to give me some coffee, I’ll be grateful!

The MC introduced both of them with their respectful 2.5D roles, and the screams were really loud without them appearing yet. They entered from the center of the stage, as the backdrop display splits into two. Hiroki is wearing a dark navy suit with a black shirt underneath, while Kousuke is wearing a light brown suit with a white shirt underneath. They both look so handsome in person! We were lucky to be seated on the fourth row near the stage!

Hiroki and Kousuke greeted the fans to the front! Hiroki greeted everyone in English along with a “Mabuhay!” Kousuke mentioned how he’s finally in the Philippines. (Fun fact: I got a Hiroki calendar from a friend, and the friend with me used it as a signage. We decided to use the July page bc it’s a very sexy one. Hiroki couldn’t help but laugh to himself bc there were at least 3 Hiroki calendars in those pages waving at him lol I love my friends. He was looking at us when he laughed, it’s so precious XD)

The first part is a talk event where the MC asks questions, and they basically have to answer them. (Stylistic note: Anything that’s italicized is spoken in English.)

Q: How did you start as an actor?

Hiroki: Oh. Alright, I’m gonna start talking (Fans started screaming when he started talking in English, and he said that we’ll probably like it if he does speak in English)... So, when I was 15, I worked in Harajuku and I was scouted by a manager. But at first, I was not interested in being an actor... Oh, sorry! Okay, in Japanese!

Everyone was laughing because he really did his best but he gave up midway. He wanted to probably answer it properly.

Hiroki: In my very first stage play, during the curtain call, I could properly see everyone’s face. From then on, that’s when I started getting interested in acting so I decided to become an actor.

When it was Kousuke’s turn and he started talking, fans were so loud. He really has a lot of fans here in the Philippines.

Kousuke: As for me, I was introduced into the entertainment scene by my friend.

MC: I think it’s fate that they have met several people into becoming actors, and now they’re here with us!

Hiroki: Right! That’s it!

(Please stop Hiroki, he’s too cool and funny in this panel.)

Q: We understand acting is not easy. What are the challenges you faced as an actor?

Hiroki: It actually varies on the characters you get as an actor like you could be required to know sword fighting. And there, we actually have to study those skills.

Kousuke: For me... Well, as I’ve been into different 2.5D production, with every single character that differs, you have to keep studying the (original) work and so every day there’s a challenge you face. But right now! It’s (the character) Jollibee.

Right after he mentioned Jollibee, everybody just lost it. I did too because that’s too extra of him to say tbh.

Hiroki: Do you want to try (acting it)?

Kousuke: Jollibee?

HIS FACE WHEN HIROKI SUGGESTED THAT. Seriously, Hiroki is so good with this adlib thing, Kousuke looked like he wasn’t prepared for it. But anyway, Kousuke went in front to try doing Jollibee. What he did is he’s like doing this holding a tray thing and serving it in a cute way. XD

MC: Is that Jollibee?

Fans were screaming, “Noooo!” and were disagreeing.

Hiroki: Where’s Jollibee? XD

Kousuke turned to Hiroki while laughing bc he got so shy and embarrassed. Suddenly, the fans were asking for Hiroki’s turn to show his Jollibee. Fan went, “Hiroki! Hiroki!” along with Kousuke. So when Hiroki went in front, he just did this cute pose and went, “This is! Jollibee Spaghetti!” And the whole audience went wild and cheering for him!

Hiroki: Is this Jollibee? (The fans said yes!)

Hiroki, looking/pointing at Kousuke: I’m Jollibee, you’re not. XD

Kousuke looked so dejected though. Both of them are so cute in that segment.

Q: Which character you portrayed is your favorite?

Hiroki: I know you want to, you want, ehh... (He gets flustered here bc of his pause and the fans were just cheering him on XD) Okay, okay! What you want to is... Koushi Sugawara? (Fans: Yesssss!) I know, I know. But the question is difficult for me because it’s like, “Hey, who’s your favorite, your mother or father?” So yeah, it’s hard because I can’t choose.

(My friend and I were like, “Awww that’s so sweet” lol)

MC: Everyone is your favorite.

Hiroki: Yeah! Hmm yeah!

(This is just me, but it’s weird for the MC to ask the audience if we accept that... Of course, we do lol what are you saying)

Kousuke: Uhm, well... it’s Haikyuu’s Oikawa Tooru.

The fans just went screaming (seriously though, Oikawa’s a fan favorite, and a lot of PH fans became his fans bc of Oikawa). The MC asked if we can hear his “Yaho!”

Kousuke went to the front and went, “Yaho, Tobio-chan!” The screams were louder than usual, and then some started chanting, “Iwa-chan!” Kousuke didn’t understand it at first, until Hiroki told him (without the mic) to say Iwa-chan too. And so he did that too!

Q: What was your happiest moment as an actor?

Hiroki: It makes me the happiest when I get to see everyone laughing or crying because of stage plays. (Hiroki does these crying motions too, and he was just so adorable).

Kousuke: Well, I feel just the same as Hiroki, but also from getting into Haisute, I get to be in different amazing stage plays. And the fact that I am here in the Philippines. How do you say this... I’m very grateful for everything.

Q: What advice do you have for people aiming to be an actor?

Hiroki: So... Actors cannot be alone. You’re here, and we’re here.

Tbh, I got what he meant by this. He said this in English and I went, “Awwww. Holy crap, I want to cry.” Hiroki said it in Japanese to his interpreter which she basically said the same thing, “If not for you, they won’t be here.” With an addition of “Never forget that feeling of gratitude towards your fans.”

Kousuke: For me... Well, I know everyone’s aiming for it, but we won’t know when we would be debuting exactly. Until then, I think it’s important that we keep studying and improving ourselves so we can be much more prepared for it. That’s what I want to share.

From here, questions are asked from the audience.

Q: What future roles would you want to be in?

Hiroki: I wanna be a prime minister! President! Or Spider-Man!

Kousuke: I’ve said this earlier, but it’s Jollibee! A 2.5D version of Jollibee!

Good heavens, you don’t know how much we laughed at this part bc it ended up as Hiroki and Kosuke arguing about Jollibee. XD

Hiroki: Hey, you said Jollibee is me?!

Kousuke: I’m gonna steal it from you!

Q: For Asuma-san, have you every adlibed on stage? If so, how did you execute it?

Kousuke: Adlib... a little. I’m bad at it.

The audience went silent, and Kousuke got so confused with the reaction, so he went, “Eh? Eh??” Hiroki saved him by saying, “They’re saying ‘ooooh’”

Kousuke: Well, so not to forget my character’s lines, I always make sure to really study them very well so I can tell them properly.

Q: For Ino-san, out of all the characters you have portrayed, whom do you relate the most, and why?

Hiroki: Uhm, Koushi Sugawara. He’s the most normal human out of all the characters I’ve played, which is like me who’s pretty much normal and doesn’t want the kouhais to steal the position from me. I think that’s how much I relate to him.

Q: What is your reaction when you were invited for an overseas event for the first time?

Hiroki: Yesterday, I was really nervous because this is my first time to be with you. But now! I am so excited to see you! Thanks to you!

Kousuke: Uhm... I was really worried that there wouldn’t be a lot of people who would come, but now, if we could make each and every one of you even a little bit happier, then... Until the end, let’s have fun with what we have today!

Second half is more of the fun stuff! The first challenge is making them speak Tagalog. Sentences were flashed on the screen and they basically have to pronounce them.

The first one is “Ako si __. Ako ay ipinaganak sa __. (I am __. I was born in __.)”

MC: Can you do it, Hiroki-san?

Hiroki: Of course!

Hiroki was actually good in pronouncing words so he was able to speak the sentences well.

Hiroki: Ako ay si... Hiroki! Ako ay ipinanganak sa... Japan! (Fans were cheering him on!) Masarap... Jolly Spaghetti!

He also asked if it was good, so the fans were satisfied and gave him an okay sign. Kousuke went up next.

Kousuke: Ako ey si... Kousuke Asuma. Ako ey pen? pen?... (Fans were teaching him by this time, shouting “ipinanganak/pinanganak) pinanganak! Sa... Japanese!

Kousuke was so cute, but because of that little mistake, fans were giving him an NG sign and telling him to try it again. He also cannot pronounce ‘ipinanganak’ well so he fumbles his words too. He did it again and he said that he was born in ‘Japanese’ until Hiroki taught him the proper word and said that Japanese is a person, Japan is the place. When Kousuke did it again, he said, “Ako ay si Kosuuke Asuma. Ako ay pinanganak sa... in Gifu!”

Second sentence is “Ang paborito kong pagkain Pinoy ay __ (My favorite Filipino food is __).” A lot of fans are actually chanting Jollibee here, but I kinda shouted adobo lol

Hiroki: Alright. Paborito kong... pagkaing Pinoy ay... adobo!... Perfect?

When it was Kousuke’s turn, I had to cheer him with ganbare!

Kousuke: Paborito kong... pegkein? Pagkain? Pinoy? Pinyoy? ay... Philippine meat! Philippine meat... Chicken, chicken.

The fans were not so convinced so he went, “I like lapu-lapu!” Which is a kind of fish in the Philippines.

The last sentence is, “Mahal ko kayo” and omg the fans were losing it lol.

Hiroki went to start, and he turned his back to us. He started this countdown, 3, 2, 1, then he went to turn to us and say, “Mahal ko kayo” in quite a sexy voice lol

Kousuke also did the same, and his countdown is in Japanese, san, ni, ichi. AND GAHD KOUSUKE WAS SO SOFT but his voice is deeper. It was so good! Both of them were so good! Thank you for the food lol

The next challenge is an improvisation game/acting challenge. They have to pick a noun they have to portray and an adjective to describe their character. Now, this is also a contest so there would be voting at the end of the challenge. The loser would have to dance. I told my friend that I hope Hiroki loses so he would have to dance.

For the first round, Hiroki picked up a cheerful gay person (it’s actually okama, but it doesn’t have a good connatation imo) while Kousuke picked up a dog that is surprised easily. Hiroki actually laughed when he first picked his paper. Funny thing is when Kousuke picked up ‘dog’, he went back to the bowl to try to change it, but he was stopped.

They have to act together too, and all I can say is... Hiroki went too all out XD Kousuke was on all-fours because he was a dog, while Hiroki started as “Oh no. It’s so hot!” And he suddenly screamed and ran after dog!Kousuke! Hiroki went, “Come on, dog!! Come on!” There was a part that he was grabbing dog!Kousuke by the pants lmao just to call him towards him.

Kousuke looked so scared of how gay!Hiroki was acting obviously. He was doing this gesture with his hands in front of him to make gay!Hiroki calm down too (he’s being too friendly with this dog lmao).

Gay!Hiroki kept trying to get dog!Kousuke’s attention and asked for his name, to which Kousuke answered, “Jollibee” lmao. Dog!Kousuke kept walking around the stage (in all-four), but Hiroki kept grabbing him (by his leg/feet). And then Hiroki called him while bringing a bottled water, “Do you want this?” Kousuke is just looking at him even though he’s scared.

Hiroki: Do you want this from my mouth?

istg I think the venue went a bit hotter during this segment. Kousuke couldn’t understand him tbh, so Hiroki told him in Japanese, and KOUSUKE’S SHOCKED FACE LMAO. So they continued with the segment, with Kousuke saying he’ll drink it. HAHA Even Hiroki didn’t expect that hah.

They were actually sitting on the floor, the bottled water placed in between them, and Hiroki suddenly went, “Do it yourself! Do it yourself!” and shoved it to Kousuke XD And then Kousuke walked away looking sad HAHAHA PLEASE STOP THIS.

Hiroki: Oh, sorry, sorry, my puppy! Puppy!

Kousuke went back to him, and then Hiroki asked him to stand up (tbh whyyyy). Kousuke did, and they were just looking at each other’s eyes, and suddenly Kousuke fell to his knees, and GOOD HEAVENS THE POSITION THEY WERE IN. Kousuke looked up to Hiroki and just akslgalkgjalkg. And then Hiroki put his hand on Kousuke’s shoulder and went, “Finished!”

Note that there were two screens on the side of the stage so we can see their faces close up. And istg it was that good, just from seeing Kousuke’s face lmao. From our seat, we can vividly see their faces, but thanks to the screen, we can see their expressions bigger lmao

Voting was done and the screams were just so loud for both of them. It was decided that they would do one more. They will have to pick another character, but there will be a change.

Hiroki: I picked a dog! Well it’s okay because I like dogs.

Kousuke: I got a drunk! (and he acted this for a bit lmao)

The setting would be in a school.

Kousuke: Going drunk in school is bad though!

Which is true lmao, but they have to act in this setting. Hiroki was also in all-four but he’s towards the back of the stage, while Kousuke was in front. And then Kousuke went moving around the stage, he even went down towards the left side almost near the audience, looking for “San Miguel”

When he went back to the stage, he saw dog!Hiroki and asked for San Miguel. “San Miguel please? San Miguel!”

Hiroki: What!? San Miguel?

Kousuke: San Miguel. Uh.. San Miguel, San Miguel! (does a drinking motion lmao)

Hiroki: What you saying?!... Hey, don’t touch the puppy! What are you talking about? DON’T TOUCH ME! Don’t touch the puppy! You don’t touch the puppy! Holy shit!

Kousuke was actually touching Hiroki the entire time on his back lmao. So when Hiroki said not to touch him, he was trying to walk away (in all-fours) but he was so cute being grumpy like that lmao

Kousuke: I... I don’t speak in English a little. Okay? Koko (here)

Hiroki: Annyeong.

Kousuke: Japanese.

Hiroki: Ni hao.

Kousuke: Japanese. I speak Japanese.

Hiroki: You speak Japanese... Ohhh. Annyeong.

Kousuke seemed to give up because Hiroki won’t speak to him in Japanese, so he kept looking for San Miguel. They have a table full of bottled water and Kousuke acted as if he found beer (San Miguel), and then he brought one to Hiroki.

Hiroki was so cute because he was just sitting there and just being such a diva puppy tbh. XD And then he put the bottled water on the floor, and then he just drank from the straw.

Hiroki: I’m a dog.

Kousuke: Dog?

Hiroki: No, a puppy. That is so cutie puppy!

Kousuke: Want to drink? Want to drink?

Hiroki: I want to drink.

And then Kousuke took the bottle and he drank from it. Of course everyone exclaimed and just lost it (bc indirect kiss lol)

Kousuke: Oh this is water! Water! No San Miguel, water!

Hiroki: IT’S MINE! PUPPY’S! THIS IS PUPPY’S!

Kousuke: Puppy’s?

Hiroki: Yeah!

Kousuke: Oh, sorry. Sorry... I didn’t know. My house? You want to come my house?

Hiroki: Your house is big?

Kousuke couldn’t understand it, so Hiroki repeated if his bag is big XD

Kousuke: Oh! Big! Yes, big!

Hiroki: Ooooh okay, I go your house!

And that’s when they end the skit. LOL. Of course, there’s also the voting. Voting started with Hiroki, and he was like “More!!” When voting started for Kousuke, Hiroki went, “booo!” In the end, Hiroki won, and Kousuke like, “No, no!!”

The punishment is dancing to MOMOLAND’S Boom Boom because it’s trending here in the Philippines. They showed the video on the screen and Kousuke was trying to follow it. He was so cute as he tried to do it. Hiroki was actually dancing along with it. Kousuke was so unprepared because they only showed the video once, and he had to dance to it already.

In the end, Hiroki also danced to it together with Kousuke. We even danced with them too. It was so nice! So it ended up as the audience are their teachers while dancing haha. Also there was this part that Hiroki is doing the Gangnam Style dance steps instead haha.

After that, we took a photo together! After the official photographer, Hiroki asked to take one from his phone too (he actually brought it with him on stage haha).

And then onto the last messages:

Hiroki: Thank you for coming today. It’s my very first time to come here so... How do you say it. I was really nervous. Just like what Kousuke said earlier, I worried if people would come. For the sake of people who came and those who have fun, I will keep doing my best as an actor. I love you all.

Kousuke: Thank you to everyone who came here today. When I get home, we’ll start with Haikyuu, so I’ll be doing my best for that. Also, with everyone’s continuous support, maybe we can return to the Philippines.... I will come back Philippines!

Hiroki: Which you like... Me and Jolly Pasta? I mean Jolly Spaghetti?

At this part, he has acctually looking at our side, and because I was motioning that I like him more than Jollibee, he saw me and went, “Me?”

I thought his question was like that, until Kousuke reacted with, “No! Me Jollibee!” And both of them were just a laughing mess.

Before they actually went off the stage, they actually went down towards the audience so we were able to see them closer! Hiroki touched some fans from the other side haha. But aah, they were really handsome and funny! Such nice people too!

I was able to meet and talk to Kousuke too because of the high touch event! He was so fun to talk to, and he got excited when I told him I will see him again for Haisute~ He also remembered me talking to him on his very first even in 2016. My request of telling him to go to the Philippines because he has a lot of fans here has come true. That time, he told he that he wants to. ;A; (Yep, I lined up more than once for the high touch event, thanks to some people! You know who you are! <3 No regrets lining up for 3 hours for the goods and getting so hungry just before the talk panel.)

I hope you enjoy this fan report! I tried to be as detailed as possible, so please direct people here instead of lifting/reposting them.

Again, my ko-fi account is also open for coffee donations! Thank you!

#asuma kousuke #ino hiroki #engeki haikyuu #haisute #hyper projection engeki haikyuu #遊馬晃祐 #猪野広樹 #my post #burimyu #bleach musical #tousute #meigeki #fanreport

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endemictoearth · 7 years

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About Town Pt. 2

AT LONG LAST! (And I’ve written more than a sentence of the next part, which was my mistake with my first part . . . so you WILL NOT have to wait six freaking months for Part 3.)

I have so many fics in my tabs and need to do a lot of reading/reblogging, but decided I didn’t want to let another month go by where I wasn’t contributing!

I have gotten some lovely messages about this fic, in particular, so I hope part 2 lives up to expectations . . . there will be at least one more part, but this isn’t a traditional Frae fic.

I hope you enjoy! (I will be putting this on the Round-Up forthwith, but am not tagging, bc I’m not sure who wants to be tagged anymore . . . )

(Oh, and to refresh your memories, here’s a link to Part 1.)

* * * * *

On Tuesday after school, Finn was back at the shop. Both Rob and Dave were there, sorting through the delivery of new stock.

Finn dropped his bag behind the counter, and they grunted a unison greeting without looking up. Finn smirked, immediately getting stuck in to the stock, as well.

He wanted to say something about Saturday, about how he had seen Rae, how he knew . . . something. He knew where she was, but not why she was there. He knew what she looked like with the sun at her back, but not how she felt about . . . well, anything. He’d got a couple pieces of a 1000 piece jigsaw, and he just wanted to keep gathering more, fit them together into a complete picture.

But when he went to say something, it was like there wasn’t enough air in the room, or maybe just in his lungs. He tried to take a deep breath, but only managed a deflated sigh.

“What’s up wi’ you?” Dave asked, his tone tinged with the typical ‘just us lads’ harshness. The default reply to any question about how one was should be some form of shrug, grunt or “Alright, I s’pose.” No highs or lows were allowed . . . this was a mellow space for cool people.

Rob elbowed Dave in the arm. “Shut up, mate—his nan’s ill,” he said in undertones. Finn had to strain to make it out, and when he did, he flushed.

“How’s your nan, Finn? She still on the ward? They looking after her alright?”

Rob was good people, Finn thought.

He nodded. “She’s not doing too bad; at least, she hasn’t gotten any worse.”

“Glad to hear it,” Rob nodded.

Dave frowned and kicked an empty box toward the backroom door. “Sorry to hear about your nan, Finn. But it’s good they’re lookin’ after her properly.”

Finn nodded again. He leant down to pick up another box, and when he straightened back up to place it on the counter, he said, “Funny thing, though . . .” and had the immediate interest of the other two.

“Yeah?” asked Rob, sorting through a load of used cds. Though he wasn’t looking at him, Finn could tell he had his attention.

Finn stammered, “I-it’s weird, ‘cause we were just talking about her, but when I were at the hospital, I run into—erm—Rae, y’know, Saturday Rae? The . . . girl who hasn’t been by in a while.”

He cleared his throat into the silent shop.

Rob looked up, and tried to read Finn’s face. “Oh, yeah? Was she . . . ?” he didn’t seem to know what to ask, but Finn could guess his question. Was she a patient or was she visiting someone?

“She had a bracelet on. I think . . . I think she’s been there this whole time.” Finn exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

Dave coughed pointedly. He’d never been good with words, Dave. Even worse than Finn for talking. It was one of the things that bonded the two of them. They could both abide long silences without feeling the need to fill the air with blather. Rob probably talked the most, but even he wasn’t on a constant yammer.

But now, this seemed to need to be said, only what was he saying? He didn’t know her diagnosis. Maybe she had something physically wrong with her, but she didn’t look sick or extra pale or like she’d lost weight or broken a bone . . . she looked just the same. The same way she did standing on the other side of the shop. He stared over at the display rack, imagining she was there, squinting at a track list.

Rob asked a complete question this time. “Did you talk to her?”

“Real quick, but yeah. I gave her one of the extra Melody Makers. I mean, I had one with me. Seemed to cheer her up. Well, a bit.”

Looking over at his boss and his co-worker, Finn saw them both nodding like those dashboard dachshunds his dad had in the car. Like they couldn’t think what else to do, let alone say.

Because they’d all seen it, without really realizing it. She came in, quiet and unassuming, rarely smiled, always alone. There was a certain air about her.

There was that time those lads from outside the corner shop had followed her in and said a few disgusting things before Dave ran them out, shouting, “Next time, you’re banned for permanent!” as they scurried up the street. Finn wasn’t in that time; he wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d witnessed that first hand.

There was the fact that she hardly ever bought anything, just looked and looked, carefully reading track listings and skimming music magazines, doing her best to absorb what she could just by being in the shop. Nodding along to the music, sometimes jotting notes in her beat up orange notebook (Finn always assumed it was lyrics she wanted to remember.)

Those things they’d observed and promptly forgotten, never adding them up or drawing conclusions, because you couldn’t. Not really.

But when they heard, “She’s in the hospital.” and “She might’ve been there this whole time.” A chord is struck somewhere, familiar yet haunting.

Dave moved over to the periodical section, as swift as his bad knee would let him, and decisively grabbed one of each of the magazines on the rack. He thrust the pile at Finn.

“Here.”

Finn raised an eyebrow.

“Next time you go. Give her these. Just say they were extras, leftover, whatever.”

When Finn took the stack in his hands, Dave spun around, picked up another box with a quick sniff, and flipped open his pocket knife to cut along the taped seam.

Finn tightened his grip for a moment, then remembered himself, and smoothed the covers before slipping them into his bag.

“Thanks, Dave. I’m sure she’ll appreciate them.”

Rob piped up with a question. “Do you know if she has a way of playing music? I could make her some copies of stuff.”

Finn bit his lip, wishing he’d thought of that first. “No, sorry, we only spoke for a minute. But if I go back . . . I mean, I’ll ask. I’ll find out.”

“Yeah, let me know.”

The three of them unpacked in silence for a few moments.

Then Dave said, suddenly, “Finn, d’y’wanna to leave early? It’s pretty dead, and we’ve got this. I won’t dock your pay. But . . . you know . . . if you wanted to . . .”

Finn picked up his bag and jacket and said, “I might not make visiting hours, but I’ll try.”

“Cheers,” Dave and Rob said, replying in unison.

* * * * *

Finn had taken his scooter to work, so he made it to the hospital in record time. He’d remembered her last name, from her bracelet and the post-it on the Oasis CD months ago. Earl.

“Rae Earl?” He asked for her at second floor reception, near where he’d seen her before, trying to seem nonchalant, but his fingers drumming too fast on the strap of his bag gave him away.

“She expecting you?” the nurse behind the desk asked, deadpan.

“Um, probably not, but I saw her the other day, wanted to check up—I mean, check IN. I just . . . wondered how she was.” He swiveled his neck in an attempt to feel less uncomfortable, but it didn’t work.

“Yes, well, I’ll let her know you’re here. Have a seat.”

Finn inclined his head. When the nurse had disappeared behind a pair of swinging doors, he collapsed onto one of the turquoise plastic chairs that were bolted to the wall. He slipped his bag over his head, wrapping the strap around his palm a few times, squeezing the canvas and leather.

He wanted to bite his thumbnail so bad it almost hurt, instead he slipped his free hand under his thigh, pressing down against the smooth surface of the seat.

Just then, the door swung open and the nurse bustled back out and settled into the seat behind the desk without so much as a glance Finn’s way.

He was about to clear his throat and ask what Rae had said, when on the second swing of the doors, she was there, hovering with an uncertain look on her face while the door wobbled into place behind her.

As he stood, his bag hit the side of his knee. He didn’t wince, just walked over to her. When he was right in front of her, he said, “Hiya.” He winced now, his voice nearly squeaking on the second syllable.

Rae had yanked her sleeves down over her wrists, fingers pulling at each hem nervously. Finn dimly registered it was probably to hide her bracelet. She kept her head angled low, but peered up at him, eyes wide.

“Y’alright?” He closed his eyes in horror. Of course she wasn’t alright, but it was just one of those things you say, in normal greeting. At the pub or the chippy, running into your mates at the park. Not here in the hospital. “Sorry, I just . . . thought I’d stop by. I mean, I mentioned that I’d seen you and—“

“What?” She nearly spat the word.

“I mean, just . . . Dave and Rob. We were wondering where you’d got to and I said I’d seen you. That’s all. I mean, I don’t know . . . anything.” Finn unfurled the strap and swung his bag over his head, then stuffed his thumbnail in his mouth, not being able to resist any longer.

She didn’t seem happy, but he thought she might have relaxed just a bit.

“How was the mag?” he asked, desperate for her to say something. She was quiet in the shop, but her silence had never been this charged before.

Her eyes flew to his, then she seemed to remember. “Oh! Good, thanks, there were some great pictures in there. We’re allowed a bit of blu-tack, so I have something on my wall now.”

Finn nodded. That sounded bleak, but he tried not to show it. And it seemed like a good moment to mention the stash he had with him.

“Uh, we had some extras again, so Dave said I should . . . well, he said I could . . . anyway.”

Finn lifted the flap on his bag and drew out the pile, nearly a dozen titles. He squared them up against his hip, and held them out to Rae, her eyes growing bright all of a sudden.

“What? I can’t . . . that’s too much.”

“Trust me, we end up chucking some in the bin nearly every month . . . it’s better if someone reads them.”

She reached out slowly and Finn pressed the stack into her hands.

Her eyes questioned. “Dave really said these were extras?”

“Yeah, really.” Finn smiled at her, not too broad, not wanting to spook her.

“So you could’ve given me free mags before now, then,” she chuckled.

Finn was so relieved when she took them, he nearly laughed out loud.

Rae looked down, flipping through the titles, grinning at Rolling Stone, which really was an old issue; they were always about a month behind on them.

She raised her head, and started to ask, “Do you wanna—oh, never mind.”

“No, what?”

“It’s just, visiting hours are almost up. I was gonna say did you wanna come to the lounge, but there isn’t time. Stupid idea, anyway.”

“No! No, I’d like to come and hang out in the lounge sometime. Maybe I could come back on . . . Thursday?”

“Um . . . yeah, maybe. We have group on Thursday, but you probably be coming after . . . after . . .”

He could tell she didn’t want to say ‘school.’ “I could come around 4:00, would that be okay?” Finn really wanted to come back, and he had a sudden feeling that she might need him to. That for him to show sudden interest and then take it away would be worse than never having come at all.

They both stood there, sneaking glances at each other in turns, but not really looking. Finn drummed on the strap of his bag again, his momentary relief turning back to awkwardness.

“Yeah. 4:00’s good.” Rae said softly. “You should probably go.” She wanted him to leave first, then. Didn’t want to retreat behind the swinging door, but rather wanted proof of his leaving.

“Yeah,” he sighed, straightening.

“Oh, but—“ she started.

“Yeah?”

“How’s your nan?”

He was pleased she’d remembered, but he didn’t actually know—he’d come straight here, on a mission from the shop.

“Okay, I think. I . . . well, I came here first. I’m headed over to her now.” He reddened.

Rae’s eyes widened. “Then you really should go; visiting hours are almost over!”

For the first time since he’d seen her here, in this place, he didn’t feel unsettled. He reached up to fix his fringe, glanced at her from underneath it, and grinned like he was trying to charm a girl down the pub. “Oh, the nurses usually give me a few extra minutes.”

Her already big eyes grew even bigger, in some sort of surprise, and then she scoffed. “I’ll bet they do. Who could resist that—“ she clutched the magazines to her while her free hand waved in his general direction “—face?”

His cocky grin slid over into sheepish, and he huffed a laugh, turning to walk down the hall to his nan’s ward. He pivoted back, “Oh, wait!”

She hadn’t gone anywhere, hadn’t moved to return to the lounge or her room or wherever she was allowed to be at seven o’clock on a Tuesday evening. She waited, as requested.

“Do you, I mean, can you play music . . . I mean, do you have a way to play anything? In here?”

She hugged the magazines to her chest, hair falling in front of her face. “Walkman, but I didn’t bring much with me.”

“Cassettes?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” He could usually charm his way to staying after the official hours, but he should try to get there before they were officially over. Turning his head, he said, “See you Thursday!” before jogging away.

* * * * *

His nan was sitting up, smiling, more alert than he’d seen her in a while.

“Finn!”

“Hiya, Nan—you’re looking well!”

She was. Her color was up, and she didn’t look so down as last time. There was a inkling of the old twinkle in her eyes.

“I’m not feeling half bad, either. The doctor says I can go home this week. Maybe even day after tomorrow!”

Finn grinned, then thought: Thursday. He was supposed to see Rae again on Thursday.

Nan must have seen his eyes dim a bit. “Anything wrong, love?”

Finn shook his head. “Not at all!” His grin was back full force, and she peered at it, studying.

“Hmmm, you’re happy again. Something happen? Or someone?”

Finn flushed pink, but his smile didn’t fade.

“Ah, I see I’ve hit close to the mark. Don’t worry, though, I won’t pry.” She settled back against the pillows behind her. “Did you work today?”

Finn cleared his throat. “Just a bit. Dave sent me home early; wasn’t much to do.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

As he pulled his head back, she caught him, her crooked hands framing his face. “And you come straight over to visit your old nan. Not many young men would be bothered. I do love seeing you so often, lad.” She patted her right hand on his left cheek, and he flushed again, feeling a twinge of guilt for stopping to see Rae first.

He sat down on the seat next to her bed, glancing to the door, but there was no nurse tapping their watch impatiently, so he settled back.

“How’s your dad?” she asked. His dad had gotten a promotion at work, and was on a big project. Finn knew his dad felt bad that he couldn’t stop by as often as he did.

“Good, good. Says with all the overtime he’s been getting, he’s going to have to take us somewhere nice when you’re feeling up to a trip.” He winked at her; she shook her head good-naturedly.

Finn held his hands up. “His idea, not mine!”

Nan smiled. “The seaside might just be calling, if he can get away for a day or two this summer.”

She must be feeling loads better, if she were thinking about going up the shore.

The two of them reminisced about previous holidays at the sea for a few minutes, and then there was a nurse at the door, her uniform just a bit too tight, dirty blonde hair pulled back in a messy knot. She cleared her throat. “I’ve already let you stay fifteen minutes past,” she whispered loudly.

Finn nodded, pulling his bag onto his shoulder as he stood. “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

He gave his nan another kiss, and she beamed. “Next time you see me, I might be going home!”

He beamed back, but there was a fragment of worry at the back of his mind.

Rae.

#mmfd fanfic #my mad fat diary #my mad fat diary fanfiction #mmfd #about town

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ohlawsons · 7 years

Text

vidcalls | 01

[ RE: THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE IN THE DARK ]

SUMMARY. Business might keep Sophie and Reyes separated after the conclusion of their work on Kadara, but that doesn't mean they can't take time for the occasional message or visit. Or: some f!Ryder/Reyes interactions post-Kadara, because Bioware didn't give us enough in-game. Spoiler warnings will be marked at the beginning of each chapter. NOTES. i still haven't finished the game but after the archon's flagship mission and doing the 3rd/4th parts of the ryder family secrets, i had no choice but to let sophie vent about some plot stuff. mission: ryder family secrets, the fourth unlocked memory also pls note i'm pulling stuff out of my ass for reyes' past bc all bioware gave us is """destroyed records""" with no helpful info LINKS. [ AO3 ] [ FFN ] [ sophie’s tag ]

She didn’t go see Scott like she’d planned, or Captain Dunn, or even Kandros.

When Sophie left SAM Node, she went straight to the Tempest, waving off Suvi’s greeting and Liam’s concern and shut herself in her quarters — lights off, windows closed, with only the soft glow of SAM’s interface to light the room. She cried — a good, hard cry like she hadn’t had in years — until her eyes hurt and her head pounded and her throat was raw.

It hadn’t occurred to her until that morning that she hadn’t ever properly mourned her mother’s death. At the funeral, Sophie had been so furious, so angry with Alec that it consumed her; he’d always treated her mother like a puzzle — especially as the disease worsened — and watching him stare at the casket in disappointment, like his failure was more of a tragedy than her death, had been the last straw for them both. She’d only spoken to Alec in the Milky Way once, after that, and it had been about the Initiative.

But watching it all over again, seeing herself with red-rimmed eyes and tousled hair as she clung to Scott, hearing the exhaustion and grief in both of their voices — it was almost like losing her mother a second time. That hadn’t even been the worst, though; Sophie had always suspected how Alec had felt, then, but actually experiencing it, feeling the wheels turning in his mind and listening to his insistence and excuses when all Ellen had wanted was a goodbye, had been enough to reignite the years of rage she’d harbored against him.

And what was she to do now? Talk about it? Drink about it? Continue to sit in silence and sulk over it? Any of those options required dealing with the issue — to varying degrees — and it was so much easier to just ignore it.

So that’s what she tried to do.

Pushing herself to sit upright, legs crossed, Sophie leaned against the headboard of her bed and pulled a tear-soaked pillow into her lap. She squinted against the light of her omnitool as she keyed in a familiar frequency, and as she waited for the connection to stabilize it occurred to her that she must be quite a sight, in her sweats with the hood pulled up, with nothing but her orange glow of the omnitool for light.

“It’s four in the morning, Ryder.”

She couldn’t make anything out on her omnitool’s screen, and assumed Reyes was in just as dark of a room as she was. Sleeping, probably, rather than having a minor crisis. “Damn. And here I was hoping you’d have time to get really drunk and have lots of sex.”

Sophie hadn’t missed the way her voice had wavered, and apparently neither had Reyes; there was the muted sound of shuffling from the other end of the call, then a light clicked on and Sophie was treated to a view of Reyes, without a shirt and with his usually carefully-styled hair looking delightfully mussed and unruly. “I’m not normally one to turn down an offer like that, but…” He trailed off, yawning. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She fidgeted with the sleeve of her hoodie, and her resolve crumpled even without any prompting from Reyes. With a sigh, she leaned over to the panel on her bedside table and flicked on the light. “It’s stupid. I mean, I’d be over it before I even got to Kadara, anyway.” Sophie had wanted to avoid the subject, and here she was prepared to talk through it with Reyes; she hadn’t ever done anything like this with him, and found herself wondering at what point she would have to pin a label on their thing — it wasn’t really a relationship; they weren’t really a couple —if they continued this trend of being about more than booze and sex and distractions on a hostile planet.

But Reyes was still waiting for an answer, and Sophie had more pressing things on her mind.

“It’s… Look, I’ll give you the short version because I don’t even know how to give you the long version,” she began, hugging the pillow in her lap with her free hand. She bit at her lip as she thought, not sure where the hell to even start explaining her enhanced link with SAM. “My pathfinder implant is more… complex than the others. Courtesy of my father, who apparently thought he was immortal and no one would ever have to deal with his own fucking—” With a hard sigh, Sophie let her shoulders drop and shook her head. “Not the point. Anyway, I can… see, I guess, some of his memories. Experience them.”

The hand that Reyes had been holding up, shielding his eyes from the light of his own omnitool, slowly moved so he could look at Sophie. Brow furrowing, he was quiet for a minute. “I’d like the long version of that, at some point. I think.” He frowned.

“You’ll have to get it from someone else, then, because I don’t understand it. Anyway, I…” She trailed off, teeth pressing harder into her lower lip. There was a reason she usually went to Gil or Liam when something was bothering her; Liam was just so easy to talk to — and their talks always began with him handing her a beer — and Gil had a knack for knowing when they needed to talk and when they needed drinks and a game of poker. It would be easier, she reckoned, if she was there with Reyes, instead of just on a vidcall, but then again the drinks and sex excuse might have actually worked. “SAM showed me a memory this morning, and… it was the last time I saw my mother.”

“Sophie…” Reyes pulled himself up so he was seated, rubbing the exhaustion from his eyes. The crisp white sheets pooled at his waist, but Sophie was too distracted to properly appreciate the view; either way, she was more focused on the concern etched into his features, a rare display for someone normally so suave and charismatic — rarer still that it was directed at Sophie. “Tell me about her.”

Not about it, not about the memory, not about the way her anger at Alec had overshadowed her grief at her mother’s death.

No, Reyes wanted to know about her, about Ellen, about the woman whose loss Sophie could still feel years later and a galaxy away.

“She was… kind. Above everything, she was kind. She was a glass-half-full type, but she had this thing about fate and acceptance and letting some things just happen. She used to always say… to say that—” Sophie took a shallow breath, feeling that familiar lump in her throat — one she’d thought she’d worked past, thought she’d trained herself to ignore when she talked about her mother.

But it was back, and all of a sudden her room felt too small — the whole ship felt too small — and she was faced with the fact that Ellen Ryder had died over six hundred years ago and Sophie had fled the galaxy where her mother was, and all she wanted was to claw her way back through dark space to Brazil.

“The first time Alec forgot mine and Scott’s birthday was when we turned seven,” she said, trying to pull herself back to the present conversation. “Scott wasn’t ever bothered by that stuff, not even then, but I just wanted us to be a family. I remember curling up in her lap and crying for forever.” Clearing her throat in an attempt to hide the shakiness that was beginning to creep into her voice, Sophie watched as Reyes studied her over the vidcall, taking in every word she spoke.

It felt good to be so openly wanted, and while Sophie had relished his initial one-track-mind sort of interest in her physically, Reyes’ recent earnest and eager desire to learn about her, about her life and her past, was something of a novelty for her. The relative openness they’d shared since Sloane’s death was… nice, and Sophie had been trying her best to embrace it.

“I was fifteen when I learned that he forgot their anniversary most years, too,” she continued. “I got right up in his face about it, yelling and saying all sorts of shit. Scott actually picked me up and carried me outside to calm down. I started buying her flowers every year — Mothers’ Day, Valentines, her birthday, anything that Alec could forget about.”

“That’s a much simpler solution that I would’ve expected from you,” Reyes commented, voice still rough with exhaustion but softened by admiration. “Then again — you are still single-handedly trying to patch up the galaxy’s problems.”

“Tell me about your mother,” Sophie suggested suddenly, pulling her knees to her chest; she was beginning to get restless, the way she always did when the conversation turned too personal and too open, but this time she had no desire to change the subject or end the call. No secrets between us, Reyes had said, hadn’t he, all those weeks ago in the aftermath of the Collective’s takeover of Kadara. While Sophie had thought she wanted to leave the Milky Way behind — let everything from that other life fade away — with as much as she’d been thinking about her mother and São Paulo lately, she found herself with a fledgling interest in Reyes’ life, too.

He gave his head a little shake and laughed, a low, quiet sound that pulled a smile from Sophie. “You would have liked her, I think. She was always doing something, always working or cleaning up after us kids. There were four of us, and we each had our own way of causing trouble.”

She rested one cheek on her knees, a little surge of warmth spreading through her at the soft, distant gleam in Reyes’ eyes; she hadn’t expected nostalgia from a man like him. “Big family.”

“It’s easy to feel… lost,” he admitted, looking away as his smile began to fade, “with three older siblings. Like everything’s nearly run out by the time it makes it down to you.”

“You miss them?”

“I left them long before I joined the Initiative. But… yes.”

Their call fell into silence, and Sophie felt a pang of loneliness. She missed her mother, and she missed Scott, and in a way she missed Reyes — missed being close to him when all she wanted was to curl up beside him and sleep until her head stopped pounding and her chest stopped aching. “I’m gonna go see if Gil wants to grab something to drink before we have to leave the Nexus,” she decided, already dreading her decision to end the call. “And… Reyes? I know you’ve got Kadara to run these days, but when Scott’s up and walking again, I’d really like if you’d come visit.”

The corners of Reyes’ lips slowly curled up into a small smile, and when he spoke his voice was filled with a sincerity and honesty that Sophie was still getting used to. “Promise.”

#brooke writes things #sophie ryder #fic: sophie #vidcalls fic #reyes vidal #otp: steal the stars #andromeda spoilers //#real actual spoilers for the ryder family mission #I'M DYING THIS MISSION IS KILLING ME

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aroha-x-astro-blog · 7 years

Text

hey guys so i’m feeling hella emotional and i’m deciding to make a post about basically every group that i stan rn bc holy CRAP i feel like crying and idk waht to do with myself

do not read unless you wanna see my trashy, emotionally unstable self at it’s peak.

ok so like right now i’m really hardcore feeling bts and just what they do to me. also i’m sorry for all the typos in advance, but like i just watched videos of them performing 2!3! and listened to a fan song MADE BY BRAZILLIAN ARMYS @THEM I LOVE YOU~~??? and like now i feel like crying. if you wanna know WHY here’s the link and watch it yourself

youtube

seriously watch this no matter who you stan because it makes you think. literally there are so many things I wish i could tell them as a fan and as someone who cares about them more than i care about myself and most other people in my life and just i wish i could tell them everything this song says and a million other things but that still wouldn’t scratch the surface of exactly what i feel when i see these boys on my dash. they make me so happy i literally almost cried watching this but i stopped myself which i kinda regret now because i feel like crying now and i don’t wanna cry but like there are tears in my eyes right now because i keep realizing how much bts means to me. they make me smile and laugh and cry and worry and feel more emotions than i can list mostly because 99.999999% of those emotions can’t be described in words because there really are no words for what they’ve done for me.

they’ve told me that it’s okay to follow my dreams and do what i want. they told me to enjoy my youth, they taught me so many more things than i could learn in a classroom in the time that i’ve been an army. they made me more hopeful and happy and they make life more worth living for me. i honestly don’t know where i would be without them. i cna’t even imagine what my life was like before i was an army because when i look back, it looks so boring; it was like i wasn’t living. they literally give me life.

i mean sure, they kill me on a daily basis and have stolen my soul enough times that it spends mroe time with them than with me, but like.... i can’t even begin to explain this.

they gave me hope. they are the reason i’m here right now, trying to accomplish my dreams. they/re the reason i’m working so hard. they’re the reason i’m here right now. i would not be the person i am right now, crying about bts at 11:13 pm and how they have made me a better person.

there are so many things i wanna tell all of them. there are so many things i wanna show them about the good part of our fandom. i wanna show them all the posts we make on here about how they need to rest and take care of themselves. i wanna show them the posts that are made on here and everywhere else when they’re sick or injured, telling them that if we see them on stage in the next couple of days, we will drag their asses back to their bed because we want them to rest. i wanna show them all the different things that we wish we could tell them.

i wanna do so many things for them. i just want them to be happy. like if they’re happy, healthy, eating properly, sleeping every night for 8+ hours, just smiling everyday, i would be perfectly content. i would be livid. i don’t really care about the thigns that they do as much as i care about them. yes, they’re all idols but like they’re people who need to sleep and eat and rest and just have downtime to be people, not the angels, gods, stars, and the loves of our lives all the time.

i wish i could tell them ‘thank you’. if i could only say one thing to them, it would be ‘thank you’. it wouldn’t even be ‘i love you’, it would be ‘thank you’ because i have so much to thank them for it’s insane. there are SO MANY THINGS. gOD i never thought about it before - i mean i have but like every time i do think about it, the list gets a million times longer each time i think about it.

guys.... i really love bts. like i say this all the times to my friends whenever i can but i really love them. they make me a better person and they help to complete me because before they were in my life, i don’t even know waht i was doing with it. like wow i really don’t ever wanna go back to a life where i don’t know bts. i’d rather die because i can’t imagine myself without them without them in it at this point. they mean more than the world, the stars, the sun the moons, the infinite amount of planets out in the universe, hell i care more about them than i do about myself and my own well being. if i had to give up anything so that they cold be truly happy for a second, i wouldn’t even think about it. i’d do anything for them. if they asked me to find alien life, i would build the rocket ship myself and go out and bring back an alien for them within the same hour. i would do literally anything for them.

i would let them cry on my shoulder. i would let them fall asleep with their head in my lap. i would do anything that would make their life easier because they do so much for us. they work through the night, practice their singing or rapping until their voices are hoarse, they’re up before sunrise to get ready to perform for us. they deal with the treatment that they receive from some fans that we all wish would just never happen. they do so. much.

okay time lapse, i just spent like 3 minutes thinking about how much bts does for us. and @my followers, i promise i’m still an astro blog-

shit..... astro.. god now i’m thinking about them and everything they do for us. like.. they gave us a freaking fan song within their first year of debut can you name any other group?? no. no you cannot wow okay i’m emotional again.

like- and this isn’t just true for astro and bts. every single freakin kpop artist does so much for us. they deal with shitty management and not recieving the recognition that their fans know they deserve. they all went through the trainee process and lost friends because of it. they lost hours of sleep and were overworking themselves to the point of being so skinny we worry about their health. they went through so much and still are going through different but more challenging trials now that they’ve debuted.

every single kpop artist out there deserves the world. all of them. sure, there are fandom wars and some idols have done things that are seen as offensive, but they’re also people who are flawed and make mistakes and they’re under so much pressure all the time and just like there are so many things that we don’t think about when we think of the idols we cherish beyond the description of words and i don’t even know what i’m saying anymore like i’m just seriously crying my eyes out right now like my keyboard is wet with tears i love all the idols i stan so much like astro is my bias group but i love them all so much that it doesn’t even matter. i cry about them all equally and scream about them equally and worry about them equally and support them all equally. i love them all so much that i couldn’t rank them if i tried because they’re so much flippin love in my heart to compare them. it would be less futile to count out every single grain of rice in a 40 lb bag like that’s how much i love them.

like even that isn’t even a mile near the surface it’s so much higher than that there is no amount of space that i could put between the surface of my love for these boys and girls and the emotions i’m trying to explain in words because there are no words. there literally are no. words. saying ‘i love them’ is the biggest of the freaking century because the word ‘love’ doesn’t begin to encompass all my emotions.

ok... i am more emotional than when i started, but if i write anymore, i’m gonna lose all the followers i have so imma stop. long story short, please love all your idols with your entire hearts the way i try to do. support them. love them. care for their well being. just... idk be a good fan to them.

i really love all of you and to those who actually read my emotional break down that is STILL currently happening just not on this post, tell me what you thought about this whole thing in my inbox and if you unfollow me just like... i’d understand tbh.

i really do love all of you and i love all the idols i stan and am going to stan in the future. i have too much love please take some away from me.

anyway, thanks for being with me on this emotional rollercoaster vote for monsta x’s beautiful so that they win their first win guys~!! see you tomorrow

also if someone could send some tissues my way i would love that

#you guys~~~~~#i'm still crying~~~~#i had to take so many breaks because i was crying so hard #it's bad #i might delete this later #isk #who knows #i'll probably forget about this #but seriously guys #love your idols #support them #defend them nicely #acknowledge when they mess up #just... idk man #i'm still crying #ok imma go drink some water #i think i lost a few pounds of water from all the crying #fatuma writes

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survivorelara · 6 years

Text

Episode #1: “So thank you Gods and Goddesses.” -Ci’ere

three people on this tribe are 100% pros they have mangastars as their pfp im scared

Okay, this is my second time typing this because I accidentally deleted the first attempt ASDF. Hello every1 out there 👽 I'm so thrilled to be playing Elara because I know that the hosts are going to make this an awesome experience! We began our journey about an hour & a half ago, but something tremendous has already occured... I happened to snatch the Zosma idol on my first guess! Something about the placement of the 39th star spoke to me & luck was definitely on my side, so thank you celestial gods and goddesses! I’m kind of wondering if the idol locations & the iconic phrase “18 people, 39 days, 1 Survivor” have any correlation. Hmm. :O Even though I have some power to fall back on now, I don’t wanna have to rely on the idol to save myself so I’m stepping up to the plate socially to hopefully solidify myself in this group. I was hyped before, but this hype train has went through the ceiling!

Not only am I in this game with like many other Facebook ORGers.... I'm the least popular of them all. Like I see Emma, Ci'ere, Andrea and Toby... like they have a good friend group and people generally like them. Me on the other hand, I get easily annoyed with certain people and groups within this community and I have been told that I am a rainy and dark cloud. I mean, LOVE the comparison... but when you're in a "scavenger hunt" and one of the things is to get 50 reactions on a post and I average about 5-6... it ain't looking good for this bitch. And ITS ONLY DAY 1.

Great question. I am trying to figure that out. I realize not knowing discord puts me at s disadvantage. Let’s hope we win till I can figure it out.

Well I like this tribe, I'm feeling good about things at the moment, I've talked to loris, Andreaa, and John who I had a prior relationship with. They all seem nice enough. I'm hoping to make more connections with people in the near future, because with only 6 people on the tribe I need to make ABSOLUTE sure I'm in the numbers.

I'm such a flop, I did almost all my voice recordings on my phone while I accidentally left voice chat on. My Computer Mic isn't great and it was only for a little while, nobody said anything, so I don't know if anybody caught anything I might have said for the challenge, but the worst thing that might have been caught was my statement about Dani

We're approaching the end of Day 1 and I don't think I've made much progress with anyone other than John... this tribe is very quiet, and I don't know if that's due to many different timezones, or inactivity, or what have you. Regardless I'm a little worried about this challenge, but hopefully a win can be pulled out.

Its so quiet dawg

ok i love selfie scavenger hunts so this challenge is great. as for my tribe mates, roxy and i are in F6 in atomic together, so thats a interesting. Drew H was in that season and like. i have no idea what our relationship is going to be like ydgfs. the only person who I haven't talked to at all is Odd. i should get on that

Oh these motherfuckers think they got me found. They think they know me. Expect drama.

My tribe is ducking stacked with people I like so this is hot hopefully we can get this scav hunt done and get max point WEW

Well. I’m doing another one. Do I have the time? Nope! Is this a good idea? No ma’am/sir. But I’m doing it anyway. This is an...interesting tribe for me to be on. I have my one true love, Sam Drachus, and a tribe of people that probably don’t know he’s my husband. Of course, a pregame relationship never equates to an ingame relationship necessarily, so I will not rest in my socialisation (especially given I will have ass for physical game for a while). Louise I’ve hosted twice, Ci’ere I’ve hosted and played with. Dani and Brian I don’t really know properly but they seem very inactive. I am quite sure we will lose this challenge, but hopefully I can be active and bond-build enough to be Victorious!!

i hate this challenge because im so lazy

hi!! so my social game is going pretty good so far, i'm v tight with andrea, emma and i said we don't want each other to go, john's an icon and i like talking to zach. kori doesn't talk a lot so he'll probably be an ez boot. also i think im gonna end up with the most points for our immunity so that'll probably let me be spared if we do end up losing :)))). ALSO,,,,,,,,, i found the legacy advantage bc i clicked on seamus' manga on the tumblr?? of course they hid it behind the ugly one... no one looks there.

So our first challenge is a cute scavenger hunt & one of the 10 point items is getting 50 likes on a FB post. When I initially made the post, only a few people reacted to it so I knew I was going to have to do something drastic in order to get more people’s attention. I stole Nicki Minaj’s brand & started running KWEENT (6 letters Jack :p) Radio! I put in a lot of work to get people to help me out, but I also wanted to have fun with it & in the end it paid off. I’mma bit worried however since only Louise, Sam & I have made contributions to the challenge thus far. We don’t have that much time left & there’s still three empty columns... I’ve been talking a lot to Dani who I find I probably relate to the most. They made it pretty far in the actual Survivor casting process & they have also been talking to Sam. Sam is so nice & has that straight male humor, YEET. Louise is obviously a kween & we’ve played together before so I think I could work something out with her? Toby’s timezone & schedule is tough to work through, but I think I might be able to charm him up hehe. Brian is the only person that hasn’t shown any sign of life so I’ve been pushing for him, but of course he shows up now ASDFG.

Did so many challenges but have trouble uploading to gdoc

Anxiety is a bitch. Like I already have alot of it due to work and school, but for us to be submitting things for the scavenger hunt last minute... that made my heart quicken a bit more than needed. ESPECIALLY if your video links for the video portion of the hunt DON'T WORK. Like wth ODD? Like if you're gonna submit late.. like at least check the damn links so you can actually win the points for the videos that you are submitting. OH AND IN OTHER WORDS. I didn't think Jack was gonna view my poem to him. And he watched it. I have no words. Like let me die of embarrassment because I am flummoxed with a straight man once again in my life. ALL FOR 6 MEASLY POINTS IN A GAME! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!?

That's so FETCH! Even with Odd's bumbling incapabilities, he can make us get a narrow win for reward! Maybe my frustrations were misplaced with him! But I am glad that I will not be the first boot and get to stay here for another 3 days or so! Pumped!

well just as i thought,,, TRASH this tribe has good people that i like but apart from ci'ere CHILEEEEEEE we sucked so bad we didn't deserve to win. I think it's brian that's going tbh he wasn't active till the last 4? hours of the comp and people have already said if we lose it's him so yikes guess that's what is happening.

we won the challenge which is actually surprising. Odd's links didn't work but if they did I would've had the lowest score. I was gonna do so much more but my phone won't charge !! and i went to a college fair ok. I love how i said i was good at comps during my live interview. i swear im not a liar hosts

Woo we won, I put a fair amount of work in, so I'm glad we got results... unfortunately it didn't REALLY matter because of how badly the losing tribe did.

I think I have a decent shot of making a 4-person alliance with John, Andrea, and Loris. Hopefully I can get that going through. Emma is LIKELY the weak link on the tribe, which is fine by me she has yet to talk to me really, so I'd have no qualms voting her out.

I have a funny story. I spent a half hour walking and looking for a license plate with ce on it. I had to use scooter plates. Half the cars only have one letter. When I finally found the plate parked in front of a restaurant . I got on one knee to take the pic. It was night so flash went out. A guy came out and demanded I delete the photo. Not kidding. He was not happy. I couldn’t explain what I was doing. I deleted it. He drove away. I was really bummed. So I got on my motorcycle and drove to the university where I knew there were hundreds of scooters. I slowly drove while looking on both sides of the parking lot. I must of looked at more than 500 plates. Finally I found one. Guess what? It was the same scooter from earlier. This time the guy not around. I was still really nervous like I was breaking the law. When the flash went off I was waiting for the guy to start running at me. He didn’t. Success.

Well, I'm a bit scared. Apparently, Sam has already found something? Or someone has... Item 39 purportedly received the "There was something there, but isn't anymore" treatment, which is Scary AF! Like, if someone has an idol THIS early in the game...if I got idol'd out THIS early in the game!!

But, I suspect that whatever was hidden in Position 39 was not, in fact, an idol, but was rather some clue or aspect to the idol system. 50 possibilities isn't enough of a competition space for an idol search, right? I mean, I bloody hope so because the alternative is that a Zosma idol is already flying around at the literal first tribal council and, man, I don't need that paranoia right now.

Winning this challenge was way easier than I expected, I figure some inactive is about to die on the other tribe so no worries there. I had a blast this thing is gonna be a fun time if the challenges continue to be similar to this.

Well it's day 2, John and Andreaa seem on board for an alliance, now all I need is to hear what Loris thinks and if he seems on board, I've got my 4-some right there. Which'll leave Emma and Big Z on the outs. Which is fine, we could even split the votes in case of an idol if we felt like it.

But I can't afford to get too comfortable, players can be real snakes and I can't let myself be too trusting. I just have to work on being super relateable and someone people feel comfortable talking to.

I just hope I didn't start "talking game" too early…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onr3BoPGJzA

I guess I cast assess now! Loris: he is a mood and playing hard but he likes me so for now we r gucci. He is super fun to talk to and we share idol guesses so hes aight! I dont want to work long term with him. Kori: Yikes. He's super inactive but he was like i like u lets form an alliance so ofc I'm like ok. He left me on read on the first day and randomly offered and im like k wyd i wasnt born yesterday Emma: Queen? I knew her before this we used to be married until she deactivated and I divorced her but like that literally not even the point. Shes kinda inactive and very on the bottom besides Kori so I'm hoping I can convince Loris to keep her if we go to tribal twice. Big Z: Ok I have never met him before now but OMG ive heard so much about him AND I LOVE HIM!!! I get the hype and then some. I wish we talked more. I 100% would not vote him or Emma out rn. John: he's cool! I havent talked to him too much but were in an alliance Basically im really happy we won LMAO. I am in an alliance I have no plans of following through with. life is interesting. I may just go off the rails. I am predicting Brian goes home because Zosma is a facebook clusterfuck right now.

I’m winning this org... I’m in a silly alliance with kori Andrea and John that I’m not gonna take seriously but kori probably will... me and Andrea are rlly good allies and I have the legacy??? give me my money

We lost the challenge by a landslide. https://tenor.com/view/davonne-rogers-pretends-to-be-gif-6175133

Zosma was 400+ points behind the other tribes so they really did snatch us huh. I’m happy to hear that they’re active though unlike some of my tribemates for the past two days l m a o. I scored more than half of our aggregate, so I think I should be set to survive this vote.

Toby wants to share idol info and I can’t decline that so I gave him fake receipts hehe. He also stated that I’m the person he’s connected to the most. Sam says that I’m easy to talk to as well, so I think my social game is going pretty well at the moment!

Sam wants to vote for anybody that isn’t him & he also said he loved me 😳 L i s t e n: love is a BIG word (to me at least) & you can’t just throw it out to anyone & their mother, Sam. Louise is in the same mindset as myself as she’s talked to Toby/Dani more than Brian so let’s just snipe Brian right? Well, Toby comes to me after scoring 0 & says he has a “gut feeling” that we should vote out Dani because Brian is preoccupied with Mount Olympus. Does that make any sense? We just lost the challenge by an extremely large margin & you want to keep the person that doesn’t prioritize this game? Go to sleep Toby, you’re drunk. I guess it’s hard to judge who will be more active since it’s only round uno. Dani was present, but only sent in one thing…& Brian had internet problems. I had a great conversation with Dani the first day, but it’s day three now. Should I stick my neck out for him? I told Toby what he wanted to hear because it was 3AM for him & he wanted to sleep, but there’s still a lot of time left & I want Brian dead.

I need to talk to people more often hn

I mean this vote is as simple as it gets, it's basically a battle of which inactive should we kick. Most votes seem to be going on brian, which I do feel bad about cuz I love him in mount Olympus and feel he could easily be a number to drag. but at the same time he's been so inactive to the point where he'll probs just die at a swap or something. I feel bad for toby since he already voted dani but im sure he'd understand with all the timezone differences, I would like dani to go but if brian stayed, we would probs lose again then he would just leave so rip

Hi!! It's me john coffey!!! So I love the theme of my tribe being like the emotional players and I love the vibe of all my tribemates. However I know that the emotional players are also sometimes the messiest players because I forsure fall into that category sometimes!! So far I have just been trying to chill tf out and get to know people, and use the scavenger hunt to show that I really want to be here. I may not have as much to offer in future tribe challenges so I like being able to use scavenger hunts to really go ham. I got the highest score on our tribe and I think the second highest behind Roxy so woo! Now let's move on to my fellow tribe mates. Kori - the only person I was familiar with going into this game. I played with him in my most recent game where he witnessed me win. We had a good bond the entire game but he also voted for me when he thought I was the majority vote, setting aside any connection I had made with him, so that is always kinda going to be on my mind in this game. But as of now he is the person I trust the most. Andrea - I LOVE her! We bonded quickly over being messes so that's always fun. I could see myself growing close with her in this game. Loris- I really like him, I always like British guys LOL it's been kinda difficult getting to talk to him at a time that works for both of us but I really like him so far Emma- she hosted me a few years ago though I didn't know it was her at first, I like her but haven talked to her as much as the others Big z - I like him though we haven't talked too much but I immediately see him as my biggest threat at this point. Just something about him idk.

As far as other tribe members go - drew Heuser is one of my favorite people to have played orgs with. He was the reason I was first boot in my first Tumblr game but has remained a dear friend of mine ever since. I met him in person and he's the besssst. If I have a chance to play with him I'm excited to see what the outcome will be.

https://youtu.be/TfQ4Xmeb2J8

Brian is voted out 5-1.

#episode #flyinghigh

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