#I’m reading other books too don’t @ me
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My essentials for a solo day out
#I always love seeing these kinds of things so decided to do my own slightly less aesthetic version#not included is all the random paracetamols ibuprofen pads tampons etc that I keep in the front pouch of my bag#this is pretty much what I’ll always bring#though sometimes I’ll forego my diary and bring my other camera too (the rollei)#the contents is:#empty film canister in case I finish the roll in my camera#spare film. water bottle (which I didn’t actually need today cos I went for a coffee)#everyday essential notebook that I carry everywhere with me#small creative writing notebook#leather pouch which is my wallet and also holds my keys#my diary. book I’m currently reading. Leica m3#and a tote from daunt books which I got for free for having banter with the man behind the counter :)#and then the bag itself is a satchel from the leather satchel company#I love it very much#I don’t really own any other handbags cos either I have no bag or it can all fit in the satchel or I take a rucksack
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Rereading chapter 6 of Journey to the West with my bros is giving me SUCH an appreciation for Erlang WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS WRITE HIM SO EDGY AROUND SWK?? THIS CHAPTER IS LITERALLY LIKE
Erlang: what a fiend, wdym this guy gets to call himself Equal to Heaven
Erlangs sworn bro squad: stop admiring him and go fight ya weirdo.
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Monkeys: SOMEONE’S HERE TO FIGHT YOU KING
Sun Wukong: HOL UP HE’S LIKE, SO COOL LOOKING THO? AYO?? I see you bro, i pick up what u putting down, u STYLIN [insert a poem about how cool Erlang looks]
Erlang, grinning: what’s up stable boy
Sun Wukong, grinning wider: where’s your mama at
Erlang: HAHAHA FIGHT. ME.
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Dude the whole time they are just having their time of their lives
Other observations are just absolutely FASCINATING to see Guanyin orchestrate everything. She’s the one that suggests Erlang. She knows how to get Erlang to go fight SWK because you bet that dude ignores summons from his uncle. She knows how to peak his interest, knows he won’t kill—did you know he wasn’t trying to kill monkey king? Most of the other people who fought him fought with the intent to capture or KILL but Erlang just wanted to fight. Also dude the way Erlang’s strategy was at 500% I could ramble on about how the fight went because it was like, Erlang tells people where to go and what to do, then goes to fight. Monkey King matches everything he does until his monkeys get scared and then he’s APPALLED by that and starts running away. Erlang chases him, monkey king just LEAVES the entrapment, goes and pays Erlangs house a visit, Erlang pulls up, fights him all the way back to Flowerfruit mountain, then tells everyone to stand on guard, all his guys make a circle around them fight ring style to keep monkey king from escaping and they go back to fighting. Guanyin looks down and goes “ohhhh y’know I’d love to help….. I’ll throw my vase down….” And Lao Zi steps in going “Nono your vase will break I’ll do it.” Dude it’s SO WILD how she orchestrates everything. Bro hits monkey king in the head with his bracelet (diamond snare,) monkey king gets bit by dog, then gets tied the heck up and stabbed and they gottem. Like….bro, and then Erlang’s like y’all go home i got this I’ll take him back—DUDE MY MIND IS WHIRLING, listen this is a really really good book y’all should read it. I’m just rambling this isn’t a real analysis post or anything I’m just WOUGH BRAIN FULL, Guanyin is the source of so many things, she’s the reason Sun Wukong was captured, the reason he’s alive, the reason he is freed later, she’s his defender, his doom, she’s where he goes when no one else listens to him, she’s the reason he started a redemption without him knowing, i’M THINKING REAL INTENTLY ABOUT THIS. I don’t remember which translation this is but OUGHHHH it’s crazy.
Chapter 6 man, it’s so good
#Knox rambles#journey to the west#jttw#the NEED i have to draw some of the visuals I’m getting while reading this OUGH#I’m overthinking this all i’m just really into it rn#might get posts like this once a week or so from me depending on how often my bros and i are able to sit down and read to each other#please don’t take this all too seriously I’m literally just word vomiting head empty jttw REALLY good book and super interesting
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Hello!! I’m kinda late with it, but I just wanna tell you that my bestie and I are sending you the goodest vibes! ❤️❤️❤️ Cause you see, we went to see the movie on the day of the premiere and we have been shitting on it more and more mercilessly ever since, both of ours anger and grief increasing upon realizing more and more clearly just how utterly SHITE this excuse for a movie was.
And so we were both surprised at finding out just how MANY people on the internet were actually enamoured with it, and praising it like a masterpiece. It felt like being stuck in some fucking simulation, so I was like hold up, there’s this awesome person whose opinions I respect, let’s check there! (Cause my bestie is more of a casual fan, not really on the scene in Deadpool fandom.) So yeah, we went to your blog and were both delighted at your insight, reading all you’ve said about it and laughing in my bed. And as much as it still sucks to have experienced all of that, and that this crap will stay on DP’s record, it was really comforting to see someone so well-spoken feeling the same way and expressing it with eloquence, very satisfying to read. Honest to god, I felt some kind of relief upon being reassured that I’m not just a hater, it was actually ✨That Bad✨
So thank you!! And stay strong!!
oh trust, I feel entirely similar but - I don’t feel surprised about it because it’s kind of marvel tradition at this point for a film to be nearly entirely incoherent but still a crowd pleaser - I thought we’d grown past this and that people were finally getting wise after all the lukewarm responses to recent mcu entries but I guess deadpool is just the silver bullet that can blindside anybody - I think there’s kind of an expectation attached to deadpool in that it’s Not Going To Be Good. but at least it’s going to be fun. but - you know - shrugs - I’m kind of tired about how OFTEN I’m asked by pieces of media these days to just… switch my brain off? like um? sorry if I want to use my brain? thats what its here for? I have this fucking organ in between my ears that wants to be challenged and enriched and there just isn’t enough in this world that is doing that for me. and I know I’m not going to find that in a marvel movie. but it’s just such a bummer how often people tell me to just switch off my brain and how much I want to fucking !! use my brain though !! just give me some fucking brain food or I might freaking vegetate. I’m gonna go brain dead, lads. I’m gonna go brain dead !! I can’t keep switching off my brain. she’s here to work. she wants to work !!!
#sci speaks#lately I’ve been avoiding watching television and movies because I just don’t enjoy it. it feels so passive.#it’s why I like the older comics and I like reading books. lots of older sci fi novels that work your brain.#my brain is so so frustrated by how little it’s being challenged#im so tired of media telling me not to think too hard.#what the fuck. the only reason I do anything is because I want to think about it.#that is what we have brains for.#please god. I’m begging people. demand more from your media.#you need food for thought or else your brain will waste away.#a brain is muscle like any other. it needs to be exercised.#it needs to work!!
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I’ve journaled about it and told a bunch of friend about my plan, but I wanna say here too that I’m gonna write a musical this year by myself.
#writing w/ my ex last year was one of the things that made me feel most connected to myself#but I haven’t felt confident to do it on my own because I don’t have the same level of skill as him when it comes to composing#but I transcribed one of the songs we wrote all on my own#and I started the other one too#and idk if the piano line is legible or makes any sense for playing#but i got it down on paper all by myself#and that felt really good#so I’m gonna pick a book I’ve read before and try my hand at adapting it on my own
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“Other lives, other existences, it didn't matter. They were polarities, and wherever they went, his half would always find hers.”
- “The Atlas Complex” by Olivie Blake
#HIS HALF WOULD ALWAYS FIND HERS#SOULMATES AND TOGETHER IN EVERY LIFE#no doubt if he didn’t die they would have been together in this one too#THEY ARE INSANE#like insane insane#nicolibby really won in TAC#like every lifetime endgame???#who else can say that???#love my soulmates#one of their many bangers from this book#and seeing as it’s my birthday I needed to post one#hope all the antis were crying reading about how much they love each other#and how Nico defines love by his connection with Libby and how Libby loves Nico more than any of the other 6 could love each other#sorry the amount of shit I went through in this toxic fandom made me not even want to be part of it anymore#and I don’t even post anything about a different ship or characters I don’t like on any platform#yet people can’t just leave me alone for liking nicolibby so I’m being petty#nicolibby#libbynico#nicolibby quotes#libbynico quotes#nico x libby#libby x nico#libby rhodes#nico de varona#olivie blake#the atlas series#the atlas complex#tac#the atlas complex spoilers#tac spoilers
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Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you
Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.
That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”
Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.
JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.
#mine#Harry potter cw#yeah I don’t want to see or think about this shit either and I’m sure most of my followers are on the same page of just like. let’s wipe it#from the public consciousness and do our best to just completely ignore it and forget it existed and in doing so take away JKRs platform and#influence and also stop the continued harm the series will do by propagated hateful biases in people who continue to read it#but despite heavily culling my feed over the course of the past several years and thankfully mostly not seeing HP fandom things anymore#I’ve been seeing a lot of responses today to people defending it and honestly I forget that there are still people out there doing that who#think they are just fine and normal fandom people with non-hateful and terrible interests and it makes me so angry#maybe more so because like. I was there too! I was annoyingly obsessed with Harry Potter from the ages of idk seven? up until whenever JKR#started being openly transphobic. I have so much fucking knowledge about this book series that will never leave my brain. and yeah it was#weird and hard to have to rethink things and realize that no actually it does feel bad and uncomfortable to continue to be a fan even#passively of these books. it was a big part of my childhood and several of my friendships. I fully get it. I was the weird kid also.#it was weird and hard to say oh actually this sucks and I don’t want to be a part of it anymore. but I did it! I got there! because it was#more important to care about real actual things and people than it is to fondly remember a book series for children.#and at the time it felt like maybe I did hang on a little longer than I could have and was a little later than some people and figuring out#my feelings and moving on from the whole thing. but it was still fucking years ago. and you’re still here?#because you like the color of the wallpaper in this shitty rotten broken down tacked on room? because we used to spend time there together?#buddy the room was giving us lead poisoning the whole time and the rest of us have accepted that and we are all outside doing other things.#you will find connection and community in so many places in your life. I promise. get the fuck out of that terrible awful room#and for gods sake stop bring out handfuls of mold you found under the floorboards and shoving it in our faces#nobody fucking wants this. we did it. we’re done.#so yeah I think I have an extra level of disdain because I know from personal experience that it’s not *that* fucking hard to care more#about real life trans people than about antisemitic children’s books.
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sooooo, I’ve been writing a fantasy novel for some time now, and I finally decided to publish it on Amazon next year. I’m dealing with the absolute mortification of sharing something like this, but I’m going to do it anyway. Anyway, I’ll show you the cover!
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#this isn’t the title of the book obvioisly it’s just a premade#I don’t think I have the courage to share my book here#I just want to keep this as anonymous as possible and even though we don’t know each other personally#I feel like I care too much about your opinions to let you read my cringe ass books#but I’m super excited!! especially to read the reviews on goodreads lmao#I know there won’t be many but I hope whoever reads it has fun!#anywayy did you like the cover#the girl who made it for me is super talented im obsessed
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if any of yall have ANY book recommendations that fall into ya fantasy / ya dystopia / ya sci-fi please let me know. even if the books are old as fuck or technically unimpressive, like, if u enjoyed them, tell me…..
#i have dabbled in adult books and other genres#but i must face the facts. My Heart Lives There. on that particular bookshelf in the young adult section. you know the one.#i do want to continue to branch out and read other stuff#but right now i just wanna have some comfort food.#i want easy reads with familiar tropes that i know always make me crazy.#i don’t trust my brain enough yet to start challenging myself.#but i would love to read something new after feverwake.#i have one other book in my pile that falls into this category but i want options……..#(I KNOOOW i need to read the locked tomb. i’m too stupid for it still. i’ll get to it someday.)#izzy.txt
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The funniest and saddest thing perhaps is how captivated I have been by Skaði/Njörðr lately…
Yeah. Njörðr from Feh and his… presumably existing wife that isn’t even in Feh in any shape way or form atm.
I mean I’ve taken what can be learnt from Norse mythology and have made her into my own character, basically, but still…
I am working on a fic rn but man. Who is gonna get this except me? It’s crazy. But I am having fun with it soooooo. Hopefully that’ll be enough <3
#idk I just really. really wish to talk about them more but idek where to start#something about them is bringing out my inner romantic I’m all like “I want what they have” even tho. it doesn’t end well ofc so-#idk like they didn’t choose each other. learning to live with one another and slowly fall for each other.#thinking it might actually work out. realizing it won’t and clinging onto the relationship that will inevitably come crashing down#very bittersweet ig? very longing. very… idk words fail me a lil. hopefully my writing will convey the rest#obviously the whole relationship is set in the past. so before book 7#I think Njörðr could have been once uhhhh… not as bad. like I’m still writing him with his flaws there. but yk.#he starts to become worse when Skaði and him part ways for good. now that’s a tasty take#anyways um yeah. I hope you will feel the vibes through the screen or smth#read my fic!! once it’s done and posted ofc! pleaseeeee? or don’t… that’s chill too….. lol#feh#fire emblem#fire emblem heroes#fe heroes#feh book 7#feh njorthr#feh njordr#feh Njörðr#feh skaði#Feh skadi#idk is it ok to tag her like this-
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😅
#Feeling down for no real reason#So this is me reminding myself that God had given me a day!#He answered my prayers that some stuff would go well#And I got to hang out with people which was fun#And I have lots of energy unexpectedly so I’m going to go to my brother’s sports game#I asked for prayer about that earlier today actually#Cause it’s rough choosing whether or not to go when I really need to be working on grad school things#But hey God is good and I can both go and work a little today!#anyway the sad thing is probably mainly my hormones#But also one of my new friends asked for prayer about being really sad but she wasn’t able or willing to talk more about it?#So I’m sad for her but also worried#And obviously the solution is just to pray for her so I’m gonna do that and trust it to God#And the other thing (which feels too silly to share) is that lowkey one of my other new friends hinted that my crush might like someone?#She wasn’t hinting to me but to someone else while I was also in the room but only sort of part of the conversation#Plus she doesn’t know I like him#And like I don’t t have a serious crush on him or know him super well even#But still :(#It’s sad girl hours#Cause I do kinda like him and I have been interested for a while#How do I feel peaceful about being single?#And other questions I’m waiting for God to answer for me lol#Anyway!!!#I’m going to read a little of my book on the trinity and relax now that my real job is done#And then I’m going to do grad school stuff#And then I’m gonna go to my brother’s game#And then I’m going to go home
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Me: I’m gonna reread this old favorite
Actually me: picks up a new series, gets a new book for bday tears into them
#prince text#prince reads 2025#okay I love harlequin romance all KINDS of romance#and also I have been way too used to being forced to trust other ppl to make decisions for me#so that means I have a rebellious streak of readingdoingwatching shit#bc someone specifically told me not to#anyways i read the first book of captive prince expecting problematic excessive smut#and walked away from a hard but smart read where the two mains don’t even kiss#it is very complicated and i would not recommend it to someone who has SA TW#like read if u want I just don’t feel like I can Encourage it I mean#but I!!!!!!!#loved it#I loved it so much I really fucking love grey area complicated characters#I love that both of the characters are in uncomfortable unforgiveable situations to one another and that their perspectives are making them#soften to one another slowly and with gradual trust built over time#and this ever growing upset with the horrible systems in place#anyways I love it sjdkskdkdkd so I’m getting the rest to read#and I am also about a third of the way into song of Achilles#I had a fucking LIST you guys#why am I like this
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#I’m reading a book called Lost Connections about how depression and anxiety are social issues and not a chemical imbalance#And it struck me how 2016 for Taylor and the JA of it all where he was her social connection was important#But the secret is you have to create connections#Being out in the world is important to our emotional well being#And by out in the world I mean connected to people#I think of how Taylor called folklore a life raft for them during COVID and I think she was right#It was really about connection and community#I think that’s also why she’s drawn to Aaron’s little musical community he built: she needs those connections due to how her brain is#And it’s also why renegade is so heartbreaking#Like it just feels as if the emotional stuff became too much and he just couldn’t deal with it#Even though the connections would have helped#And I don’t mean career wise#I mean just being around people who want to be with you#Anyways the book is rather interesting to read because it goes with the idea that you can’t fix anyone with anti depressants.#They need meaningful connections amongst other things
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I think at this point I just need to be honest with myself and acknowledge I’m gonna read The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova once a year lmfao
#I’m reading other books too don’t @ me#I first read this book when I was 11 or 12 and it rearranged my brain#Best vampire book and wove my interests in Eastern Europe the Ottoman Empire feudalism and the cold war brilliantly#elizabeth kostova#the historian
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Okay I’m adding two more resolutions for 2025. I am exclusively mood-reading books, which means no TBR and no regimented planned reading, and I am also refusing to wear anything I don’t want to wear
#my mum asked if i’m dressing up for new year’s dinner and i was like actually no i’m really not#in past years i would’ve put on something slightly uncomfortable and non-temperature appropriate just to look nice#and yeah it’s a nice-ish restaurant we’re going to. but there’s no dress code or anything#what i’m wearing right now is clean; comfortable; fitted; i’m warm in it; i feel like i can move in it and eat a three course meal#(it’s basically stretchy jeggings and a cotton jumper)#i was thinking about putting on tights and a dress but i was like you know what fuck that#we’re not being uncomfortable in 2025#like i MIGHT put boots on instead of wearing my running trainers to the nice restaurant but you’ll have to be satisfied with that i’m afraid#i’m also not ingesting anything i do not want to ingest. meaning no i will not be having wine with dinner#i don’t feel like it. i might not be drinking anything other than water for the foreseeable in fact#the book thing might not make sense to anybody. basically i really like joining reading challenges/readathons because sometimes i genuinely#do not know what i want to read; and it gives me a sense of accomplishment when i complete stuff#but too many of them have really specific prompts that lead to me creating a really regimented tbr of like 6 specific books#i ‘have’ to read in THIS specific order and like…… we’re not doing it anymore#truly i’m embarrassed that it’s taken me this long to have this epiphany but genuinely#if your reading challenge doesn’t allow me to freestyle a bit i am simply not doing it. or i’ll make my own or simply not do one that month#idk. either way i did find one with some pretty broad general prompts and there’s no specific order at all so i printed that one out#my problem right now is there are too many books i want to read LOL#i want to finish butter but i want to start the next whyborne and griffin book but i want to read lolita and i also want to read mars house-#help.#personal
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Eternal Ones
final book in a YA fantasy trilogy
follows a girl with divine powers and her friends searching across the land - and realms - to find a way to defeat the gods who are bleeding their land dry
#the eternal ones#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#admittedly it’s been ages since I read the other books; but I thought this was a decent ending#I just don’t think I loved it as much as the first one.#I I think the plot in this is just a bit more generic?#like the setup is unique but following the plot through goes in the usual directions#like oh we have to kill the gods let’s travel to various places to get power and struggle with my burdens and repeat#it just wasn’t as unique and engaging to me as the first book was.#But also I’m definitely aging out of enjoying a lot of YA fantasy so maybe that’s just me!#There’s some cool worldbuilding and all sorts of interesting creatures and some good friendships!#i think the death shrieks were my fav part in book 1/2 and they’re not here so much unfortunately.#Lots of Ixa though; he's a good creature.#(I will say the audio narration for him was a bit TOO baby for me?)
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#idk how to tag this but it’s about my dad who i just went NC with bc he’s abusive and hasn’t changed#so if you don’t want to read keep scrolling i don’t care i just need to fucking do something#i’ve passed rage and now i’m just sad#and i feel bad about being sad bc i don’t want to be sad bc being sad SUCKS#i feel like i’m burdening my friends by telling them the shit my dad did to me#ik realistically im probably not but i just#only three people would truly understand the situation#my mom my sister and my childhood best friend#my sister is off limits bc i’m not putting her in the middle of this again#my mom was also abused by my dad and i don’t want to trigger her or make her feel bad so i don’t feel like#i can always go to her about this shit#and i don’t want to take advantage of my best friend’s listening ear even though she is being supportive of me and everything#like i just feel guilty and i feel like im burdening others with my burden#i want it to all stop i just want to stop being sad#i want to stop feeling like im 7 year old me hiding in the pantry from my dad#i don’t want to go to work i don’t want to do anything really#and it’s not like i want to die i just want to stop feeling like this#i want to stop feeling like i somehow fucked everything up when it was my dad’s fault#ik i should book another therapy appointment but i can’t with the way my week is next week#and idk i’m just#im not having a good time#i’ve taken an ativan every night this week bc of all this#previous to this idk when the last time i took an ativan even was#and i’m not trying to read into it too much but its hard not to when ive gone literal months without taking it#and now i’m taking it every night so i don’t stay up half the night bc my brain won’t shut up
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