Another silly microfic I wrote cuz I’m boreddddd
“Ugh.” said Evan disgusted as he glared at Remus Lupin and Sirius Black making out in the middle of the hallway. “They’re so disgusting,” said Barty rolling his eyes.
“GET A BLOODY ROOM!” Evan yelled as they walked past them.
“You know they can’t do it in their dorm room right? And that means that they can’t get a room.”
“Huh? Why?” asked Evan turning his head to look at Barty questioningly.
“Potter is busy in their dorm shagging someone and he would actually be dead if Sirius found out.”
“How do you know that he’s shagging someone in their dorm room?”
“I don’t see Reg here.” he said shrugging. “What about you? Do you see him?”
Evan shook his head. “No…”
“Wait. Don’t change the subject.” Evan said fiercely.
“I’m not. I swear.” He threw his hands in the air like someone was holding a gun to his head.
“Oh you totally are, you piece of shit.”
“No…”
“Okay, then tell me how Potter shagging someone in his dorm and Reg not being here are con-“ He saw Evan’s face going completely white like Dumbledore’s beard. He wanted to take a mental picture of his expression. It was hilarious. “Oh…” he said as the realisation hit him.
“Yeah…”
“Why didn’t he tell me?”
“I don’t know man, he actually didn’t tell me either. I walked in on them-“
“Okay. Ew, no details please.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Whatever.”
They walked through the halls in silence. Until Barty suggested something.
“Do you want to listen to them?”
“Are you fucking crazy?” Evan snapped at him.
“Oh come on, it will be fun, I promise.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Fine.”
Barty smirked. They made their way to the Gryffindor entrance and snuck in as the entrance was still open, after some Gryffindor students just entered.
They made their way to Potter’s dorm room. Evan put his ear on the door, trying to hear them. Barty did the same.
“Do you hear it?” Evan whispered.
“Hear what?” He whisper yelled.
“The noise of the bed shaking.”
Barty listened more carefully now and holy shit! He could hear the fucking bed shaking. Evan chuckled as they continued to listen.
“What in the name of Merlin are you two doing here?” Pandora suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They both jumped, surprised and shocked.
“Wh- what? Nothing.” said Evan.
“What are you doing here?” Barty hissed at her.
“I gave the notes I took at herbology to Lily because she couldn’t make it to class today. You still didn’t answer my question.” She raised an eyebrow at them as she crossed her arms.
“Well what do you want us to say? ‘We’re listening to our best friend getting shagged by stupid strut king Pottah’.”
Pandora looked at them in suspicion. Then her gaze softened and she smiled.
“Well, make some room for me then. I’m not missing this. Our best friend getting shagged by the Gryffindor quidditch captain. Hah. Who would’ve thought.”
She put her ear on the door to listen too. They listened for a few minutes till they heard someone moan something in French.
“That’s hot.” said Pandora.
“Pervert.”
“That’s your best friend, Pandora.” said Evan.
“I’m just checking on my best friend because I am concerned. He might get hurt. You never know” she said with a puppy face.
“Oh fuck off.” Evan chuckled.
The three of them lost balance as the door they were leaning on suddenly opened.
“Oh shit,” said Evan, almost falling.
Barty and Pandora couldn’t save themselves and fell on the floor, right on their stomachs. “Ouch,” he muttered. Barty looked up to see Regulus glaring at them.
“Seriously?” he asked them.
“Uhmm-“
“You know it’s not what you think, we were just checking on you.”
“Yeah since you’re on your period, I thought you’d like some cookies.” said Pandora as she stood up and lifted the snack she had in her hands suggestively.
“He’s on his period?!” Evan and Barty asked at the same time, looking at each other with an amused expression.
“Yeah…”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Dude I bet the bed is a fucking mess right now.”
“Like a crimson river or something. The poor bed.” Evan said as he laughed.
“The crimson night sky, a painting made by Regulus Arcturus Black.” Barty said laughing his ass off.
Regulus looked so pissed.
“We will talk about this later.” He said angrily as he walked off. The three of them continued laughing. James looked rather confused. He wasn’t really used to their weird shit yet. But he also looked kinda flustered because they all knew what they’ve been doing in the room.
Barty knew Regulus would be mad at them when they returned to their dorm but now he was just enjoying the funny moment with his friends. Yes it was kind of offensive and mean but hilarious at the same time. And yes he will apologise to Reg but take every chance he gets to rub it in his face.
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I know it's not how you rationalize it to yourself, but your posts about Israel/palestine come off as a support of the destruction of Gaza and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. Insisting that it's a war (Palestine isn't allowed to have an army, and Israel cannot claim self-defence against a territory they occupy), denying that Israel is at fault, obscuring support of Palestine in general as being motivated by antisemitism - it paints a picture.
At least 30 000, probably closer to 100 000 Palestinians have been killed as of now. That is so monumentally worse than anything currently happening to Israel / zionists. So when you spend most of your energy focusing on those wrongs, or insisting that people talking about Palestine should focus on them, it comes off as brushing it off or trying to diminish its importance.
You don't have to answer, as I'll be blocking you, but I'm asking you to please consider what you're willing to support, excuse or tone down, and why. I know what it's like to be too focused on the discrimination we're facing to really take in what other groups might be going through.
hey anon, that's some great useful idiot syndrome you got there. how much college debt did you go into to earn it?
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Danny’s parents want to kill him and he’s like “f in the chat y’all dinner boutta be so awkward tonight smh”
Ok so I know everyone loves the angsty headcannons where Danny is terrified of his parents cuz they wanna kill him but we’ve had that hot take since 2005 I’m here for a source material revival, the much more entertaining “Danny’s parents want to kill him and he actively doesn’t give a fuck”
CUZ UH, IM REWATCHING THE FIRST SEASON AND I FORGOT HOW GENUINELY BLASÉ HE IS ABOUT MADDIE AND JACK TRYING TO GET HIS ASS ITS SO FUNNY.
Like mom holding a literal ghost gun to his head: eh kinda unphased he even has time to quip, his parents say they wanna tear em to pieces: meh see u guys at dinner, LIKE OUR GUY IS SO UNPHASED HE THINKS THIS SHIT IS FUNNY! (s1 ep. 14 public enemy)
And he’s unphased despite knowing his parents tech works and knowing that his mother is actually a good shot. So like I love angst Danny and y’all should keep up the good work but where is my s1 Danny ‘COULDN’T give less of a fuck about his parents’ Fenton representation?
Cuz think of this, for your DPXDC AU consideration, Danny would fit in so well with the bat gang if only because they could try to stab, shoot, capture, brainwash, and stalk him and he’d be like “oh cool villain of the week shit? Nice, what’re we having for lunch.” He. Wouldn’t. Flinch.
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