#I’m not perfect by any means

[strawbbfluff]

Hi. I don’t know what to title this. But I think I kind of just wanted to make a post to warn??? Inform??? People, especially minors, about what this community and lowkey just individuals in general can be like and about how it’s affected me.

For those of you who are newer or just didn’t know, I made my blog and “officially” joined this community when I had turned 17. I had a previous background of being on kik where I had met people similar to me and just made me feel better about the way I was. Do I think 17 is too young to be on this site? Absolutely not. Do I think that there are certain precautions people, especially minors, should take? Absolutely I do.

I had left kik because it was becoming very draining for me. Those of you who have ever had kik and interacted with knismos probably know what I mean. I absolutely wasn’t practicing the safe behavior that I should have been, and I let myself be taken advantage of time and time again at the mere ages of 15-16. I knew better. But manipulation and abuse are things young people are especially susceptible to, especially a kid who wasn’t really receiving a healthy amount of attention at home.

So then I turned 17 and moved to tumblr. I just liked it. I made my cute little blog and was eager to make better friends who would treat me with dignity and respect. This was when tumblr group chats were still a thing, and so I joined a pretty popular tickling group chat. At the time all ages were allowed. And I was happy for a while, I made friends and became especially good friends with the owner of the group chat. At the time, he was 20.

I became infatuated with him. It wasn’t healthy by any means, and it was gross. However, I don’t believe that it was my fault anymore. He was absolutely flirting with me, rationing his attention in a way that left me desperately craving more, even sending me gifts from time to time. I told him everything, he knew everything that made me tick and how to draw me in slowly but surely.

Here’s the thing. He had a girlfriend. I did not know this. I knew he had been flirting with another girl, sure, but he was so off and on with her that I really didn’t know what to believe. And so he starts getting more public in his flirtations with me; reblogging my posts, tagging me in gifs, mentioning me in various posts. His girlfriend or her friends must have found out somehow, because on my 18th birthday I’m getting flamed through asks and getting sent death threats on how I’m disgusting and I’m a home-wrecker and that I should really just go. How confusing do you think that is for a young girl?

I confronted him about it. I was sick of putting up with and cleaning up after his messes. He tells me he’s sorry, that I don’t deserve it, that he’s going to fix it and that I didn’t do anything wrong. I know I didn’t. He’s been in the wrong all along. He preyed on me.

I was coerced into sending him photos. Videos. I was molded into this mess that couldn’t function normally without his approval. I was disgusted by myself and I didn’t know how to make things better. Eventually I cut him out of my life.

I think it’s important to add to this that I have never known a love that wasn’t abusive. I’m not saying this to make it better because it doesn’t. But I know how many young girls out there who are in the exact same situation I was. Please, please protect yourself. The idea of an older person making you feel good about yourself might seem appealing but I’m begging you. Don’t give into that. You will find other outlets that are healthy and right. You don’t have to fall into that cycle of abuse. And just know if you have/are going through that, it is not your fault. People that age know better. It doesn’t matter what excuse they give.

It’s worth saying that I’ve been through a couple more abusive relationships/friendships after that. This one person I was friends with, around two years ago, happened to be my age and I was eager to be ready to engage in friendships again. He ended up being the most emotionally abusive person I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. You get love bombed the first few months and then it gets turned into an endless cycle of torment.

My body wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more than my presence as a friend and so I had to change for him. Of course he would never outright say it, but being gently pressured over and over again to eat more, gain more weight, be less excited when I’m talking about things, only be happy when he’s the one giving me attention and following his rules. It was hell and I don’t know why I put up with it for so long.

I eventually cut him off too. I was an adult at this point and so was he but really abuse can happen at any age. I was definitely more susceptible to it considering how I was treated when I was 17, a child, but my point remains the same. I can’t tell you what to do. But all I ask is that you take the precautions to preserve your youth. Don’t make “friends” with adults in a community like this. Don’t let your life force get drained away by people who want to morph you into something you’re not. Be. Careful.

This was mostly just me having a therapeutic moment, but if you read this far, I hope it can help you in some way, too. And if you can relate to anything I said, I’m sorry. You deserve better than what you got and I only wish the best in the future for you. I love you. There are people out there who will treat you in a healthy way and there is so much more to life than the internet.

I guess it’s also reasonable for me to give props to people who have really changed my life for the better and that I’m super grateful for.

@still-not-rly-sure I love you and you’re a great friend, even if I suck at checking tumblr dms

@b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b I miss you and I’ve been a shitty friend recently when it comes to discord messages but you’re my first friend and I’ll always be grateful for you

And a suuuuper big thank you to my literal bestest friend right now @siastema-switch 🩷🩷 I love you so so much and I can’t even think of the words right now to describe how thankful I am for your friendship, your care, and your love. I’m very very excited to see you soon sweet girl

[focsle]

Why’s it so hard for people to hold multiple truths? I’m by no means perfect, but it frustrates me to no end when people refuse to see the ‘yes, and’s in existence. So much of life is a ‘yes, and’. One truth doesn’t invalidate another. It just makes it harder to have a plain answer. Embrace complication! It makes it easier to learn and grow.

Also no one reblog this to project on and put words in my mouth assuming that I’m talking about One Specific Issue, or think that by acknowledging that existence is, and has been, and always will be messy that I’m in some way giving a pass to allow people to hurt other people or something. Hate that I have to preemptively say that but.

[gay-edwardian]

I watch a lot of old films and there’s something so attractive about women with a cigarette. Its use as a prop, as a means of characterisation, as an innuendo. My friends and I often joke “if smoking bad, why sexy.”

However I have no intention of ever smoking. It repulses me and I know for certain that there are people who would get really angry with me if I started. I don’t want to put myself at any risk.

At least for me, it feels similar to how I feel about guns. It can be fun onscreen, fun to play at having or holding, but the idea of using it in real life is repulsive

what's with the weird glorification of smoking that's come back lately

like

I've seen so many posts that paint opposing smoking as some impossibly Loser-ish or puritanical stance and I really don't get it

it makes you, your house, and your clothing stink, destroys your teeth, and gives you lung cancer. opposing it is. Correct. obviously addiction is very complicated and quitting can be hard, but just saying "smoking is gross and harmful as a practice (including vaping)" is True and Right actually

some of you have never grown up hearing about how some beloved family member died a slow, agonized, wasting death of smoking-induced cancer, or watching it firsthand for yourself, and it shows

[daeyumi]

🔹 Anamnesis 🔹

[Cycle of the Stars au]

[magic-mayhem-mischief]

I knitted a thing!!

Yes I will be wearing it E V E R Y W H E R E for the foreseeable ☺️

[danishphoner]

one thing that really fascinates me about alex is his devotion to art – and more specifically, how he chooses to get some inspiration from scientific works of what he aims to implement in his art. every time one gets to examine some of his lyrics, or even how he explains these lyrics in an interview, they can be greeted by some bits of actual scientific information. an example is how he named his taquería on the moon with the term “information-action ratio”, coined by the critic neil postman, and referenced it in the song four out of five, something that might also indicate an interesting articulation with postman's concept. the line “cute new places keep on popping up”, for example, can express his well-known sardonic discontent regarding the flood of information being generated and transmitted over and over and, as much as it seems visually appealing and does give the idea of benefiting from advanced technologies, it doesn't really add anything substantial to the receiver's critical thinking – and worse, it distances the information receiver from the sender in a communication channel, according to postman.

what i'm saying with this interpretation is, it's known that alex is enamoured with the idea of gathering a bunch of references and condensing them into a mixture of metaphors in his writing, but it's so thrilling how, at times, we can find some bits of science inside of it – and it's even more exciting, just like playing a puzzle game, to find these references and analyse them by doing a similar research to what he did to create his works.

[teddy-bear-d]

Okay maybe the Coral Isles brainrot has got to me already…

[ash-and-starlight]

thank you @mafaldinablabla for the tag!! the game is to share 9 of my favourite books from the last 12 months, or 9 books on my tbr list for this year.

Here is what i’m looking forward to read this year! (my hunt for beautiful covers never ends. in this house books Shall be judged by their cover)

tagging uhh @erisenyo, @chitsangenthusiast, @ranilla-bean, @poikilotherm, @kyoshialone and whoever else wants to do it u.u

[mouthstatickinard]

bonking you all with a cardboard tube. stop dooming over the clip. go do something nice for yourself rn and stop getting sad before we even know what happens next. this is mandatory btw, sorry i don’t make the rules

[luvbug724]

aftg kills me bc it’s about sports and the mafia and whatever but u strip it to its barest bones and it’s really about who u choose despite & because

[maeral33n]

This is a follow up post to my mums commentary on Arcane now that the last episodes are out. So spoilers ahead, obviously.

(Previous post)

Season 2 act 3:

Episode 7-

Mum:…wait…is that Mylo??

Me: Yup!

Mum: Oh god he looks awful in this timeline. I’m kinda glad he died.

Me: 😨

(I think my mother has just experienced major character development)

—

Mum: I didn’t think Ekko and Jinx liked each other like that?

Me: In this timeline they do I fear. And in this timeline she still goes by Powder.

Mum: Right…it’s so weird seeing everyone alive and happy. It feels uncanny.

Me: Yeah.

(No hate on TimeBomb or anything I just don’t personally ship them lmao)

Episode 8-

*THAT scene starts*

Mum: Oh so they’re actually doing it aren’t they?

Me, trying to keep a straight face: Yeah, looks like.

Mum:…

Mum: Why are they doing it in a jail cell? 🤨

Me: I DON’T KNOW MA!

(Iykyk)

Episode 9-

Mum: I do not understand what’s going on but it’s really pretty.

—

*Watches Jayce and Viktor in their final moments together.*

Mum: Are they gay too?

Me, shrugs: Yeah probably.

Mum, shakes her head: I guess I should have seen that coming.

(WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!? 😭)

—

Mum, actually on the verge of tears: Wait…so you mean to tell me, that I spent the entire time watching season one hating on Jinx. Started liking her in season 2. Only to have her killed in the end?

Me, actually crying: Yep 🥺

And that concludes my mothers commentary of the series. And her final verdict on the show overall:

“Amazing show, probably the best I’ve seen so far. Didn’t think I’d enjoy this much, I saw the flashy animation and characters and thought that’s all it would be. But it actually had a story to tell. I will say the ending kind of confused me a bit, somethings I just didn’t understand. But overall it’s really good. Oh and Jinx, I now see why she’s your favourite character.”

So sad to see this series is over, there’s still so much I have to process about the ending. I’m gonna have so much fun analysing and scrubbing through every frame for every little bit of detail.

[icequeen-07]

With the Until Dawn remaster showing stuff I would like to reiterate what the original looked like

[beaconfeels]

Alpha Werewolf Chris Argent

Thoughts? 👀

(Also yes I'm throwing stuff at you that's kinda gnawing on my mind rn 😂

Also also yes I'm writing most of these ideas myself - or at least intend to 😂)

I’ve not spent a lot of time thinking about Chris being turned, and even less about him being an alpha werewolf, but there is certainly plenty to think about!

One of the things I think about right away is the fact that Chris wasn’t raised to be a leader, he was raised to be a soldier. He was raised to answer orders without question, to believe in the mission, to ignore anything he sees that doesn’t fit the narrative he’s been given. So it’s interesting to think about him as an alpha wolf with those alpha urges to build a pack.

I feel like I can’t fully trust myself in how I view Chris, because he’s probably the character I project onto the most. I grew up in a cult, so I tend to think about the aspect of him being raised in a certain belief system and then having that turned on its head. So this could be me projecting, but I do think that Chris thought he was doing the right thing, or at the very least, he did a pretty good job of convincing himself that he did. He learned early and often that asking questions and having doubts was frowned upon, if not deadly, so he refused to see anything that made him unsure of the black and white world he’d accepted as truth.

It’s interesting to think about the ways him being turned would flip that even faster and more intensely maybe. I also think whether or not he got turned before Victoria died would make a big difference. If she was alive, would she have convinced him to end his life like she did her own? Would she have even given him a choice?

If she was already dead, I have zero doubt that he would have done everything in his power to stay alive for Allison. Personally, I’m most interested in thinking about the idea in my head where his dad and sister are hellbent on killing him, so he ends up having to rely on the ragtag McCall/Hale pack to save him. Good lord. I’d have way too much fun tormenting…basically everyone in that scenario 😂 (one could also do all kinds of shippy things with it, if they so desired)

Anyway, I feel like there are so many directions someone could go with alpha Chris, and thank you for making me think about it more! It’s fun to put the blorbos on the spin cycle and just rattle them around for awhile sometimes.

[herenvibing]

cr3 is gonna end and the pc’s still feel like the same people to me :|

(crcritical content in the tags feel free to skip)

[age-of-moonknight]

“The Past is Present,” Phases of the Moon Knight (Vol. 1/2024), #3.

Writer: Justina Ireland; Penciler and Inker: Daniel Bayliss; Colorist: Dee Cunniffe; Letterer: Cory Petit

[suburbonlegends]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: White Collar (TV 2009) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Elizabeth Burke/Peter Burke/Neal Caffrey Characters: Peter Burke, Neal Caffrey, Elizabeth Burke (White Collar) Additional Tags: Past Neal Caffrey/Kate Moreau, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Neal Caffrey Needs a Hug Series: Part 8 of Neal Caffrey Whumptober 2024 Summary:

Peter shook his head, still reeling at the realization that he’d been watching Neal too closely to see the forest for the trees. All that time trying to piece new information together, telling himself he wasn’t suspecting Neal while suspecting Neal, and Neal was just…

“Come on, we need to pack an overnight bag. We’re going over there.”

aka Neal had been having trouble sleeping recently, and it took Peter a while to figure out why. Well, it only took a conversation with Elizabeth for a major puzzle piece Peter had been missing to reveal itself, and the two go to take care of their boyfriend.

Whumptober 2024 Day 8: Sleep Deprivation