#susie dent save me

[gay-edwardian]

I watch a lot of old films and there’s something so attractive about women with a cigarette. Its use as a prop, as a means of characterisation, as an innuendo. My friends and I often joke “if smoking bad, why sexy.”

However I have no intention of ever smoking. It repulses me and I know for certain that there are people who would get really angry with me if I started. I don’t want to put myself at any risk.

At least for me, it feels similar to how I feel about guns. It can be fun onscreen, fun to play at having or holding, but the idea of using it in real life is repulsive

what's with the weird glorification of smoking that's come back lately

like

I've seen so many posts that paint opposing smoking as some impossibly Loser-ish or puritanical stance and I really don't get it

it makes you, your house, and your clothing stink, destroys your teeth, and gives you lung cancer. opposing it is. Correct. obviously addiction is very complicated and quitting can be hard, but just saying "smoking is gross and harmful as a practice (including vaping)" is True and Right actually

some of you have never grown up hearing about how some beloved family member died a slow, agonized, wasting death of smoking-induced cancer, or watching it firsthand for yourself, and it shows

[panelshowsource]

who listened to the new saving grace with rylan and rob rinder omg im dead 💀💀💀 this is fully random spam but

i'm in the girl era so are you lesbian now? yeah and how's the lesbian for you? fucking great

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

rob rinder talking about the vagina "the whole of the area almost sounds like a place….i mean, neither of us would want to visit without being threatened" WITHOUT BEING THREATENED 😭

judge rinder is rly good friends with susie dent?? "can you get me on 8 out of 10 cats does countdown??" LMFAO SO VALID GRACE (and god yes please? tangential thought: if we had amelia on tm nyt then why not graceee pleaseeee)

i thought it was supremely fucking sweet when rob rinder said to grace "you seem really profoundly emotionally curious and nice" like what a fucking compliment

idek what to think after all of that phew but that shit was hilarious and also purrrrr another one for the team 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌈

[lamujerarana]

14 with reed and ben! Your writing is A+ u inspire me!

“Give it up, Stretch,” Ben complains, bumping the back of his head against the wall of the alien prison cell in which he and Reed are trapped, awaiting their imminent execution, all because Ben was maybe very insulting to the emperor. It’s not his fault that the emperor looked like a piece of fruit someone’d left out in the sun too long. He supposed that saying that to the emperor had probably been a bad idea, but in his defense, the emperor was a dick. “There’s no way out and you know it. I’m gettin’ tired just watchin’ you.”

Ben has already exhausted himself by pounding his giant fists against every wall of the cell, but to no avail. His superstrength did not even dent the strange, alien metal.

Ben, resigned to the fate he had brought upon them both, had simply reverted to his human form and collapsed onto the hard, narrow cot in the cell.

Ever since then, he’s been listlessly watching as Reed prods and pokes at every nook and cranny, desperately seeking the escape Ben had not managed to achieve.

Reed shoots Ben an annoyed glance from where he’s stretched up to the ceiling. “There is always a way out, Ben.”

Ben sighs. He loves how incorrigibly optimistic Reed is, but it also frustrates him endlessly that there is not a sensible bone in Reed’s body. Ben has always been the more practical of the two—he keeps Reed grounded by reminding him that there are limits even to what his genius can accomplish.

“There ain’t always a way out,” Ben says dryly. “Take it from me.”

“That’s what you said about being the Thing,” Reed says triumphantly. Ben doesn’t have to see Reed’s face to know that he is smiling. “But look at you now.”

“Your cure’s lasted this long,” Ben says darkly. “We don’t know that it’ll last forever.”

Reed goes very still, as though the thought had not occurred to him, when it has been all that Ben has been able to think about since the day Reed had called Ben to his lab, strapped him into a dauntingly complex machine, and inundated Ben in a series of blinding rays.

Ben had emerged fully able to control his transformations into the Thing. The best of both possible worlds—able to remain on the team and protect the people he loves and able to have an entirely human life at the same time.

The thought that has kept Ben up more nights than not is the fear that one day he will morph into the Thing and be stuck, once more, in that unending living nightmare from which he can never awaken. Surrounded by humanity, yet unable to participate in it. Separated from it all by a thick wall of orange rock. Unable to feel much of anything.

Reed’s body shrinks down to normal size, and then he crosses the room and sinks down on the cot next to Ben, arms folded over his chest.

“Ben,” he frowns, concern written on every line of his face, “are you afraid that you’ll become the Thing again?”

Ben shrugs a shoulder as casually as he can. He doesn’t want Reed to know how heavily this fear has weighed on him. “Yeah. Maybe. I dunno. Wouldn’t be the first time I thought I was cured and then…” Had my humanity torn away from me. “…changed into the Thing again.”

Reed puts his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “It’s not going to happen,” he says firmly. “I tested this every way I know how. It’s permanent. And even if it did happen again, I’d simply cure you again. No matter how hard I had to work or how long it took, I would never give up. Ben, I will be with you, at your side, always. It’s where I am meant to be. You must know that.”

Ben does know that. It’s what Reed has always done. Ben can and would never question the love and loyalty Reed feels for him.

But Ben cannot even count how many times Reed has found what he swore was a permanent cure, only to have it all fall apart and send Reed back to square one once more. And then Ben is left, in the interim, living what can best be characterized as a half-life.

There is, on the bright side, every chance that Ben’s endless cycle of torment is going to end rather bloodily tomorrow morning.

“Well,” Ben says lightly, “we’re probably not gonna live past gettin’ executed tomorrow, so…”

“We’re not going to die, Benjamin,” Reed says calmly, as though he is stating a fact. “We’ve been in worse predicaments than this and up against more terrifying foes and we’ve lived.”

Ben runs a hand shakily through his hair. He wishes that he could believe that this time was the same. But everything seems so heavily stacked against them, and if there is one thing Ben learned when he was a soldier, it’s that everyone’s luck runs out sometime. He can feel it, in the pit of his stomach, the certainty that he simply isn’t getting out of this one. “C��mon. We’re trapped in a cell we can’t get out of. The execution’s in about five hours. Even as the Thing, I ain’t strong enough to break us out. I can’t beat their soldiers either. Susie could, but she and the kid don’t even know where we are or that we’re in trouble. Face it, buddy, we’re sunk.”

“Sue will find us and save us,” Reed says confidently. “I know she will.”

Ben casts a skeptical glance at Reed. “She doesn’t even know we’re missing, Reed. Or what planet we’re on.”

Reed chin tilts upward stubbornly. “She’ll find us.”

Ben isn’t quite as sure of that as Reed seems to be. He thinks…this might be it. And if it is, if it is, he has to tell Reed. He can’t die without saying it. He just can’t. “Yeah, but if she don’t, there’s just one thing I gotta say to you. That I’ve wanted to say to you for years. Reed, look, I—”

Reed cuts him off by springing to his feet as though scalded. “No! I don’t want to hear this, Ben. Stop talking this way. We’re going to live and I don’t care how dire everything seems, it’s going to be all right, and—”

Ben catches Reed’s hand and stops him dead in his tracks. Reed stares down at Ben, and then down to where their hands are joined together, eyes wild.

“Reed,” Ben pleads, “let me say this. Just in case.”

Ben doesn’t know what it is that Reed sees in the depths of his eyes, but it seems persuasive enough. He gives a small, resigned nod and then sinks silently back down next to Ben.

Ben doesn’t let go of Reed’s hand. He stares at it, that point of heat, that point of contact, where their bodies are joined together, as though he cannot tear his eyes away.

“Are you ever going to say anything, Ben, or are you just going to stare at my hand?”

“Whine, whine, whine,” Ben complains. He rolls his eyes melodramatically. It’s almost instinctive, this banter between them. “Don’t you ever do anything else? I’m workin’ up the nerve, just so’s you know.”

“Ah,” Reed says, and Ben can hear the wry amusement in his voice. “The nerve. I see. I have always found you very short on nerve, Ben. Timid, shy, and retiring, that’s you.”

The corner of Ben’s mouth ticks upward. “You’re a pain in my ass, Reed, you know that?” He takes a deep breath, raises his eyes, and meets Reed’s gaze. He’s dived into battle many times before without a single twinge of fear, so why is it that his heart feels as though it is going to beat its way out of his chest over this? “I really got no idea why I’m so in love with you, but I am.”

If Ben had thought Reed’s eyes were wide before, they are like saucers now, his jaw hanging almost comically wide open, and his face paler than Ben thinks he has ever seen it.

“Well,” Ben says, smiling, “would ya look at that? Looks like I finally figured out a way to get you to stop whining.”

“Ben,” Reed says hoarsely, his hand tightening around Ben’s, “was that a joke? You know I’m not always good at telling when you’re joking and I—”

“Wasn’t a joke,” Ben interrupts, with a slight shake of his head. “Not even a little. Reed. C’mon. Did you really not know at all? You gotta be the only person on this—I mean, on our—planet who hasn’t noticed that I am head over heels for you. People spend five minutes with us and they know.”

“I didn’t,” Reed says, subdued. “Really. I had no clue at all.” He clears his throat. “How long?”

“Let’s see,” Ben says, pretending to think about it, although he knows, of course he knows, “we were eighteen years old, I walked into the crappy dorm room I’d been assigned to with a guy I thought was gonna be the biggest nerd ever and probably a dick. Instead, I found the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen standin’ there and smilin’ at me, and I think I fell in love the second I saw him. I mean. You.”

Reed half rises to his feet. His face is a splotchy red. Ben doesn’t think he’s ever seen Reed this apoplectic. “YOU’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME FOR EIGHT YEARS AND YOU’VE NEVER SAID A WORD?”

“I said I fell in love with you the second I saw you. I didn’t say I knew it. Took me a while to figure out I liked boys—which, yeah, happened ‘cause I had a lot of feelings for you that I couldn’t explain away—and then I had to do the whole coming to terms with it thing and then I had to get a handle on the fact that I was in love with my best friend. So. Took me a few years to get to the point where I could admit it even to myself.”

“Well, why didn’t you say something then?”

“Because by that point I’d known you for like four years and I knew you didn’t like guys. Or anyone, as far as I could tell. You never seemed very interested in the whole love and sex and dating thing everyone else was doing. You’ve never dated anyone, Reed, the whole time I’ve known you.”

“No,” Reed says bitterly. “I admit that I wasn’t interested in any of that for a long time, but once I met you…why would I have dated anyone else? I had already found the love of my life. You.”

“You…what?” Ben asks, and he is beginning to understand how shocked Reed must have felt at his own declaration of love. “Wait. What?”

Reed is nodding earnestly. “I also fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I never saw the point in settling for someone else if I couldn’t have you. I had no interest in anyone else, and I never have. Before I met you, I had never been in love with, never so much as been attracted to, anyone. I admit it was unsettling at first, feeling that way, since I had no reference point for it, and I had no idea what it all meant for a long time. And by the time I figured out that I loved you, you had joined the army, and I thought my feelings weren’t reciprocated, and so I had resigned myself to living out the rest of my life pining hopelessly for you.”

Ben shakes his head. He’s trying to wrap his head around this, but it’s giving him a headache. “So…I’ve been in love with you for eight years…and you’ve been in love with me…and…we just…never figured it out?”

“It would appear so,” Reed says, and then, in a hushed tone, “Johnny can never know.”

Ben pales at the thought. “The squirt would never let us live this down.”

“Perhaps it would be best if we were executed tomorrow morning,” Reed says thoughtfully, and Ben’s not sure if he’s kidding.

“Well, screw that,” Ben says. “I got a reason to live now. Get us out of here, Reed.”

Reed looks amused. “I thought you doubted my ability to escape.”

Ben shoots him a look. “Stretch, if I die without ever getting to have sex with you, I’m gonna kill you myself. Time to stop messin’ around.”

Reed smiles slyly at him. “Well, can I have a kiss for good luck?”

Ben can’t help smiling back. “Yeah?”

“It stimulates the synapses,” Reed says, and Ben can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. “Might help me arrive at an epiphany.”

“Stimulation. I can help with that,” Ben grins, reeling Reed in for their first kiss.

It’s been a long time coming. Ben hopes it won’t be the last.

***

Reed never does get around to figuring out a way out of the cell. Ben keeps him too busy.

***

Ten minutes before their scheduled execution, the door to their cell bursts open, torn off its hinges, and there, silhouetted in the doorway, is Sue.

“I’m Susan Storm, and I’m here to rescue you,” she says, posing heroically.

“We know your name,” Reed says, baffled. “We’ve known you for years.”

“She’s—Reed, she’s quoting Star Wars,” Ben says. “I know you’ve seen Star Wars because Johnny and I made you watch it.”

“Oh, yes,” Reed says. “The ones that don’t realize that sound can’t travel in a vacuum. It’s very distracting.” Watching movies with Reed is an experience because he scoffs at every scientific inaccuracy. “And by the way, Sue is here, and I told you—”

Ben raises a hand to stop him. “You even say it and I will clobber you so hard you’ll see little tweety birds spinning ‘round your head.”

“Birds?” Reed frowns, puzzled. “Why would I see birds? And what is a “tweety”?”

“You ain’t never seen a cartoon? Even as a kid?”

“I was busy designing antigravity platforms when I was a child.” He winces. “And crushing my mother’s prized flower beds. That was on me.”

“You’ve been deprived, Stretch. I hope you know this means we’re watching cartoons the second we get back home.”

“I don’t know if I want—”

“Would you two stop bickering like an old married couple?” Sue scowls, hands on her hips. “We’ve got to get moving or you two are dead.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ben and Reed both say meekly, and they follow after her.

[myriadsofcorpses]

MIDDLE for Shou

MIDDLE- Events taking place during their journey. Sometimes, this can be light-hearted and fun. 

“My my, curious on the specifics? Well, it’s not like I’m up to no good all the time, just sometimes, and other times I’m merely playing along…”

Now that I think of it, I really should go through the Naglfar Drabbles and check the ‘Muse: *’ Tags… or did I do that already? I can’t remember-

“AND THAT’S ALL FROM OUR DEAR SPONSORS, SHOO, SHOO! Spotlight’s mine, so get the narrator-thing going!!“

Yeah, yeah… let me think, umm…

Really now, we basically just started out and already arrived at a dead end.

Daryll has left the knight order, Nyr and Siegmund are still distraught… though at least the latter is already combing his hair like always. It only took him, what, 2 days? He really is something else, right? Nyr hasn’t talked much in the same time and usually kept that cloak on, so I’m worried. More worried since he started talking to Glenn on occasion, who frantically worked on Nyr’s broken armor ever since their duel. Glenn forfeited for some reason, is Nyr sulking because of this? His pride must have taken quite the dent too, given he almost lost, weird stuff. You’re a knight, kick it up a notch!At least I’m not the only girl anymore, but Niamh is so clingy! I don’t know what’s wrong with her, mom says I should enjoy it, but it’s really not that easy. Speaking of mom, her and our cat are waiting outside of town. So, since Mirus is technically an undead, even if a cat, we usually avoided towns. Being around others like that is new for me, but I’ll manage…

Still, we are at a dead end… wait, I already mentioned that? Anyways, we need a merchant’s travel permit to go after him… it’s a long story. Not only Mirus would get us in trouble, having Nyr and Sieg as knights-in-training without any permit would be almost-as-bad. But alone mentioning the topic could get us in trouble…

Knock. Knock.

Com… oh, they already entered.…a sub-human, nowait, that’s the wrong term.A beastkin, apparently a white fox with… two tails? His garments seem expensive, almost looks like a girl though. Cute.Nyr obviously wasn’t up to it and I wouldn’t trust anyone else to talk with my life, I suppose it’s on me. …yay.

“I’m going to hire you to do something for me.“ He blurts out. Dude, you’ve been here for like two seconds. Three, four…I suppose it’s really up to me to reply, is it? “We’re not some kind of mercenary group, what do you take us for? Go to the tavern and-“ “I know you’re in a bind. Some stray knights just coming from a village that almost got raided? You got some suspicious things in tug too. Either you help me or I sell you out. Don’t think of causing a ruckus either, it’ll cause more trouble and any bail money I’d need is cheaper than hiring random thugs. Save both of us the time and get ready.”He already interrupted me and… honest to say, he has some good points there. I didn’t expect being coerced into getting out of here.Niamh didn’t take it lighly it seems, the others were listening, but other than Nyr gritting her teeth there was little reaction.“Don’t just order us around like that! We still need to go after Daryll…“Niamh raises her voice for some reason and the fox raises a brow.“Daryll… right, that was the name of that Ragnfrid boy, I almost forgot. I actually have business at their mansion, more reason for you to get me there. What do you say?”And Niamh quiets down again, I suppose it’s on me. “Fine, fine. We might actually find some clues to our own thing. Cooperation it is… you guys heard that?”

“…don’t go making orders like you’re the captain now.“, Nyr grumbles into his cloak. “…but I suppose it’s the best course of action.“ Sieg stares over to his childhood friend with a meek expression, I suppose both of them are fine with it. Now there’s only one left to worry over-“Glenn, what do you-”“I wanna see whether I can find clues on his fighting style there! I still need to beat that guy up!”Yeah, figures.

We left the Inn that afternoon and made our way towards the forest to the east. There was hardly a road but apparently the Ragnfrid mansion is beyond here, near the edge. I don’t remember seeing the place in my lifetime, seems to be the same with some others despite knowing the guy in- and out. Knight dormitories must be hell.

“Hey Susi, how do you feel? Are you alright? Should I fetch you some water?“Niamh inched closer to me again, compassion radiating from her very being… oh, why is that giving me such a weird feeling! Damn, I couldn’t even grope her for fun if I wanted to AND I DO WANT, BUT…!“No… umm, you’re being more… that, than usual. You should take care of yourself, you know?““No, I mean, it’s just that… it’s nothing-!“…there she goes being weird again. I suppose the others are glad she’s keeping me occupied, I’d still loved to talk to them. Siegmund seems to have opened up to that fox at least, it seems his name is Hakushin.

Hakushin is a tailor from an esteemed family. They’ve long since taken orders for higher noble families despite not being fully humans, even the royal household! They’re apparently operating on the whole continent and seemingly hold monopoly on the more expensive clothes department! It sounds really amazing, but I doubt he’d get us anything done anytime soon.As said, Siegmund and Hakushin seem to be getting along well. I suppose that fox is considering taking on Siegmund as hair-stylist for fancy meetings, since he charged everyone else money for asking questions.

Mom and Mirus caught up too, still lagging behind the rest of the group however. Mom is humming something while gleefully glancing over to me and Niamh… geez, don’t make it more awkward than it already is.I mean, I’d like to hang out with the others, but our group-dynamic is horrible! If only we had some ways to bond a bit more.

Oh, and there is the mansion, and it’s… oh no-I feel something swelling up inside of me, a dark, mixed feeling of familiarity, sadness, desperation, shock… This isn’t a mansion, it’s basically just a piece of charcoal, most of it burned down. These are no more than ruins at this point. I lose my footing but Niamh is already there-I just couldn’t believe it, nor did I understand. There were a whole lot of things going in in my head I didn’t understand actually.

Hakushin didn’t seem phazed in the least, already investigating the entrance. “Looks stable enough.”, he remarks. HOW EXACTLY?!

Siegmund crawled closer to me on this snake-lower body, Nyr went with Hakushin to inspect the mansion it seems. The knight seems quite shaken himself, I hear he and Daryll were quite close after all.

“Susi, what’s wrong? You look awfully pale. Nyr noticed too, I’m sure he’s worried too-“ Sieg inquires, Niamh just rubs my shoulder, slumped on the ground as I was. Mom is here too, Glenn and Mirus went ahead with the other two.“I’m fine.“Damn, having them fuss over me like this is awful. In the end I’m gonna be written off as some useless attention-center for no reason, damn gosh!“We should go after the others.” I mutter, getting up and ready for.. well, whatever’s up in there.“Hakushin went here to collect a pay. I suppose he’s gonna use the excuse to scavenge whatever’s left here.“

“Brother…”I look around… hey, did no one else hear anything?“Brother…”“Is something wrong?” Seems Siegmund and no one else for that matter are hearing anything…

Some time later, me, Nyr and Hakushin are alone in the mansion. I mean, we’re all in but got sepparated somehow, it happened way too quick… Nyr is mad at me… but rightfully so.I have no right to take his commander’s place, I have no right to order them around like I used to up to now. What am I trying to do, really? I’ve just been acting on whim and intuition as I felt, mom and Niamh were supporting me in that too. Really, just an idiot-

“Brother…”There it is again, only this time… it’s a girl with blonde hair, right in front of us?I think I know her however…Nyr.. wait, he sees her too? What’s going on?

“Brother… brother, brother, brother, brother! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME ALONE HERE? YOU JUST DISAPPEARED! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!“Damn, looks like we won’t get out of this easily, I do wonder what this is about…

[ultipoter]

I’m just gonna type down some of my musings about Deltarune, they include spoilers though so scroll past if you don’t wanna read!!

That whole adventure? in the dark world? It’s just A Little Bit too jrpg. It’s a bit too easy. It’s very lovely, whimsical and fun, but like the theme the game has, you have no real choice on how to play it. 

Kris and Susie fall down to the dark world, they meet whimsical characters, they find the big bad, they get past them without hurting anyone, they get home. The “true ending” is basically just handed to you, under the disguise of “your choice matters”. It’s very eerie with the way it’s just sort of mini Undertale

What interests me though is how much Ralsei emphasises that it’s a world where you can get by without hurting anyone. And after Kris is home, a lot of people notice that they’re acting very different from before. I started wondering if the whole adventure existed to teach Kris the compassion and kindness that every monster carries in their soul?? If you’re kind, you will find the happy ending. If you’re kind, this ruthless bully will be your friend. If you’re kind, you can save an entire world. And does Asriel have something to do with it. Is he really in college, or is he somewhere else, trying to help Kris and maybe avoid Kris turning into what Chara was

And Kris didn’t care for that

The fact that the cage they throw the soul into is worn down and dented made me wonder if this was the first time this sort of thing has been tried out

[starcookieuniverse]

I Shot The Wolf

Photo by Virginia Johnson on Unsplash

Setting: 

Small town in Indiana called Fairmount. There’s only one store in town run by a man named Richard Green. There’s a small diner there that is the main hangout spot for all the local residents. Farm land surrounds them. The only thing the high school kids have to do is perform rituals for fun.

Characters:

Davy- older man in his 40s, a simple farmer who always tries to do what’s right

Drew- son of Davy, 17 years old, likes to hang out with friends and play his guitar

Situation: A werewolf is sighted in the small town and the residents are not okay with that. They convince each other to go on a hunt. 

ACT ONE

Noise can be heard at Sal’s Diner. All of the locals are there discussing something and trying to make sense of it. 

Lester: “I saw it. I know what I saw. I’m not making shit up. Y'all would do right to believe me.”

Sal: “I doubt it, Lester. You too old to see something right in front of your face much less something a 100 feet in front of you.”

Lester: “I know I saw it.”

Susie: “What did you see again?”

Davy enters the diner after a long day on the farm. He’s curious as to what everyone has gathered around for.

Sal: “Well, look it’s Davy. He’ll make sense of the situation.”

Davy: Hey Sal. What’s going on around here?”

Sal: “Lester here is trying to convince all of us that he seen something running around his farm late last night. He wants some of us to go out with him to try and catch it. You’ll never believe what he said he saw.”

Lester: “Now, Davy, I know I saw it. These people don’t believe me, but you gotta. Our farms are right next to each other, so if it’s on my farm, then it could be yours next. 

Susie: “Come on, Lester. It’s crazy. You sound crazy for even saying it.”

Davy: “What is it that you saw, Lester?”

Lester: “Well, I… I… I saw a… werewolf.”

Everyone in the diner laughed. 

Davy: “Calm down everyone… Now, what makes you say that?”

Lester: “I went out, because I heard the dogs barking. I figured some animal was trying to get a chicken or two. I went out to try and save my chickens. I got my gun, flashlight and headed out the back door. As I’m walking towards the chicken coop, I glance up and my flashlight shines on a pair of red eyes.”

Sal: “Red eyes? You didn’t say that before when you were telling the story.”

Lester: “Well, I just remembered it. Shut up, Sal. As I was saying, I glanced up and saw a pair of red eyes looking at me. It.. it had the body of man. It was tall. Stood on two legs. But, it had fur all over its body. It had a long snout like a dog too. Sharp teeth. I shot at it. I shot at it so many times that I’m surprised you didn’t hear it Davy. But, it ran. It ran so fast. I didn’t kill it.”

Susie: “Did you have silver bullets?”

Lester: “Why would I, Susie?”

Susie: “Isn’t that what it takes to kill a werewolf?”

A stranger comes rushing in to the diner. She’s clearly distraught. Susie goes to grab her and help her into a booth. Sal rushes to give her a glass of water. The rest are uneasy. 

Davy: “Are you okay miss?”

Stranger: “I… I…”

Susie: “It’s okay miss. Take your time. I’m going to call Bill.”

Stranger: “Who’s Bill?”

Davy: “He’s the sheriff, ma’am. Don’t worry. We are all here to help. Now, why do you keep glancing out the window? Someone chasing you?”

Stranger: “I don’t know. I don’t know what I saw.”

Lester: “What do you mean by that lady?”

Stranger: “I don’t know.”

Davy: “We’re only here to help, miss. You okay? Is there something we should know?”

Stranger: “I saw something out there. It tried to get me. I almost died.”

Sal: “What was trying to get you?”

Stranger: “It was a monster.”

Lester: “Tell us what happened.”

Stranger: “I was driving down the highway when I ran over something. It felt like a big bump in the road, but I didn’t see anything. So, I stopped to see what it was that I hit. I wanted to make sure my car wasn’t damaged. I pulled over on the side of the road, and I got out to look. I didn’t see anything in the road. I looked around, but I still didn’t see anything. I looked under my car and didn’t see anything. I walked around my car, but I didn’t see a dent or anything until... “

Davy: “Until what?”

Stranger: “Until I looked at the back of my car… there were scratch marks on the trunk. I backed up and got into my car quickly. I turned it on, put it in drive and then I looked up… it was staring right back at me. It had red eyes.”

Lester: “Red eyes? Did you say red eyes?”

Stranger: “Yes.”

Lester: “Did it stand on two legs like a man, but it had fur all over its body? Did it look like a rabid dog?”

Stranger: “Yes. How did you know?”

Everyone gasped in the diner. Could it all be true?

Sal: “I’ve heard enough. Where’s Bill, Susie? We need to do something about this.”

Susie: “Bill said he’s on his way. He should be here in a couple minutes.”

Lester: “Now do all of you believe me? I told you I wasn’t lying.”

Sal: “Calm down, Lester. Let’s just wait until Bill gets here.”

Lester: “I say we act now before the damn thing tries to kill all of us. We should go hunt it.”

Everyone in the diner agrees.

Davy: “Don’t get people excited, Lester. We need to think about this.”

Sheriff Bill enters the diner.

Bill: “Who’s car is that outside? It’s missing a tail light and the sideview mirror looks like it has been ripped off. There are claw marks on the trunk.”

Davy: “What do you mean?”

Bill: “I mean what I said, Davy.”

Everyone in the diner rushes outside to look at the stranger’s car. They noticed the side view mirror dangling on the passenger side. A tail light busted out. Then, they noticed the scratches… scratches on the trunk that look like deep claw marks as if some kind of large animal did it. After they’re done, they go back into the diner. Fear creeps into the hearts of each person there. 

Bill: “Now, do y'all want to tell me what’s going on here?” 

Lester: “Me and this lady here saw a monster.”

Bill: “You told me that crazy story this morning, Lester. Why are you getting everyone excited over nothing?”

Stranger: “It’s true. I saw it too.”

Bill: “Ma’am, I don’t know you, but I know one thing… monsters don’t exist.” 

Lester: “She’s not lying, Bill. Get your head out of your ass and listen to her. Go ahead and tell him the story you told us miss.”

Stranger: “I saw a monster out there on the highway. It hit my car and made me stop on the side of the road. I got out to look around and inspect my car. I saw those... claw marks on my trunk and it scared me, so I got back into my car. I started to drive, but there it was in front of me. It just stood there staring at me. I pressed down on the gas and swerved to go around it, but it grabbed my side view mirror and ripped it off. I pressed down on the gas harder. I kept going faster and faster, but… the monster chased after me. It was running. It could run so fast. It… it… could keep up with my car. It jumped on the back of my car and scratched at my trunk. I jerked the car a bit to try and shake it off. It held on tight. I just kept swerving left and right until it finally it fell off and busted my tail light. It lay down in the middle of the road, but I didn’t stop. I kept going. I kept going.”

Susie: “What are we going to do Bill? We need to do something!”

Bill: “Now, Susie, calm down. Everyone calm down. The monster Lester described to me this morning sounded a lot like a--”

Lester: “Werewolf! It’s a werewolf!”

Davy: “I mean, I hate to say it, but there’s just no way a werewolf could exist. It’s folklore.” 

Sal: “Then, how do you explain what they saw? This lady and Lester have never met before. They couldn’t have gotten together and made all this up. We should consider that maybe they’re telling the truth.”

Susie: “OH! What’s that!!” 

Everyone in the diner turns towards the window to look outside. There’s a dark figure across the street with glowing red eyes. The people in the diner cower in fear. Bill heads out the door taking his gun in his hand and aiming it toward the monster. Sal grabs his shotgun from behind the counter and follows in pursuit. Davy and Lester stand in the doorway ready to barricade the door, if the monster decides to come in for a visit. The monster lets out a snarling howl. 

Sal: “I say we shoot it, Sheriff.”

Bill: “Alright, Sal. Open fire.”

Bill and Sal open fire. They shoot directly at the werewolf. They manage to hit it in the chest a couple of times, but the monster seems to be unfazed by the shots. Instead, it runs up the street and darts down an alley way that leads to the fields. Bill and Sal head back into the diner.

Lester: “Do you think you killed it?”

Bill: “I’m not sure.”

Sal: “Susie, what did you say earlier? You said something about killing a werewolf.”

Davy: “She said silver bullets kill a werewolf. Silver bullets.”

Sal: “Did you have silver bullets in your gun, Bill?”

Bill: “No. Did you?”

Sal: “No.”

Davy: “It looks like we may need to get some.”

Bill: “Okay, listen up everyone! I need a hunting party. I don’t think Sal and I killed that thing, but we definitely shot it and slowed it down. It’s wounded. I need all the men to go home, gather all your guns and bullets, especially your silver ones. Bring your families here at the diner. We will leave a few men here to protect them and look out for them, while a bunch of us go out and hunt. There’s a monster on the loose and we need to kill it. Who knows if there’s more out there? Now, go on! Come back as quickly as you can.”

Everyone in the diner rushed out to their cars and trucks. They sped off as fast as they could. They each went home and gathered up their families, their guns, and all the silver bullets they had. They explained to their wives and children what just happened and fear leaped into their hearts. Nothing could have prepared them for what was about to unfold.

Play by Megan Brooke

[blackvelvetstories]

Matilda all Grown Up

Six Years after Miss Edwards has revolutionized the school, she has managed to completely turn it around from its previous reign from the tyrant that was Miss Trunchbull. The once swamp like jailhouse, now changed to the liberated school. Following that glorious day Miss Trunchbull fled the school, the children could not get enough of the wonderful improvements. The truly liberated school was now so highly rated that a petition was signed, and approved in hours, developing the school into a college, with students never wanting to leave. The student body allowed Miss Edwards’ to develop and hand select every teacher, with the aim to continue her belief in doing right by the students and helping every way possible to reach their full potential, no matter the case.

It was not just Miss Trunchbull that has fled the scene, Matilda’s family were next to go, chased out by Mr. Wormwood’s angry customers from his dodgy dealing days. It was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on him and Matilda was ready with the get out of jail card that was moving in with Miss Edwards. To Miss Edwards’ delight, they helped one another grow, a partnership better than sweet and salted popcorn. They discussed the variety of books they read together, caught up on the soaps and cooked the finest lunches and dinners. With the help of Miss Edwards and her ever growing intelligence, Matilda leapfrogged the educational system. As expected she was excelling at anything she puts her mind to, and was now in her first year of college.

                                                            ***

“Good morning class. If you can all get to your seats, we are about to get started with some Spanish. So, if any of you have a holiday planned for the summer, you can be your parents own little translator” Miss Edwards says cheerfully to the class. Jamie’s hand shoots up like a rocket. “Miss, Miss, I mean Seňora. Can we learn about getting around, as last time me and my family got lost for ages trying to get back to our hotel?” Jamie asks. “Jamie, you must’ve read my lesson plan, we will get right into today’s topic of travel. If we can all turn to page 12 of your textbooks” Miss Edwards says smiling to the class. “We shall start off, with a nice and easy question. How do you say, ‘the Taxi’ en Espanol?” Miss Edwards continues. “El Taxi” the class say as they giggle together. “Very good class, what do you say to upping the level a bit with travel. Does anyone know how to say, the taxi is here, en Espanol?” Miss Edwards asks the class. Some of the pupils look around at each other not knowing the answer, but a couple of them raise their hands, trying to outstretch the other. ‘Yes, Susie. Dónde está el taxi?” Miss Edwards asks, as the remaining kids sigh as they drop their hands disappointed at not being picked. “El taxi está aqui! I went to Spain with my family and my older brother, taught me all he knew.” Susie says proudly as she looks smugly at the ones who didn’t raise their hands. “Well done Susie, that is better than I could do for my first time in Spain. Now can anyone else, describe the Taxi. Maybe with a colour or if it is big or small?” Miss Edwards says. This time, the majority of the pupils raise their hands itching to answer the question. “Ok, give it a go Dennis” Miss Edwards says as she gives Dennis the go ahead. “El Taxi es muy enorme, como un... monster truck” Dennis says as the class begin to laugh in a domino effect from front to back. “You have seen some interesting taxi’s Dennis” Miss Edwards replies as she calms the class down. The class continue to go through the textbook with Miss Edwards, learning all the different travel words. As the class is in its final minutes of the lesson, the whole class is beaming with confidence with the new words they have learnt. “I am really proud of you all, do we all think we are ready to give our Spanish song a try?” Miss Edwards asks. “Yes Miss Edwards” the class reply, excited to give the song a try. “uno, dos, tres  taxi. Todos los taxis son Amarillo-o-o-o, amarill-o-o-o. Puedo tener un taxi por dos personas, por favor. Por fav-o-o-o-r-r-r” the class sing out in a playful tune, as Miss Edwards is standing at the front of class mouthing the words to everyone at the same time. “Oh wonderful, you all sound so good. I think you are all ready now for a trip away to Spain! A couple more lessons and you will able to get around Spain with no hassle” Miss Edwards says smiling from ear to ear, pleased with how far they have come. As the bell rings, a groan is heard from the entire class not wanting to move onto a different teacher. As the kids walk out of the classroom, Miss Edwards high fives each pupil as they leave. “Miss, I forgot to give this apple to you at the beginning of class” Frances says reaching to the bottom of her bag, pulling out a dented and bruised apple with pieces of hair attached. Miss Edwards manages to hide her disgust of the un-edible apple, as her nose begins to twitch as it gets closer to her face. “You are far too kind Frances, thank you” Miss Edwards says as she accepts the apple and cautiously puts it on her desk. Frances stops and stares at the apple and then back at Miss Edwards “Are you not going to eat it now, Miss Edwards?” Frances asks all bright eyed. Miss Edwards looks back at the dented apple, which now looks as if it started to grow mouldy. “I’ve just had an apple before this class, I will save this special one for later. Oh, is that the time, you better be off to your next lesson Frances” Miss Edwards says whilst rubbing her belly. Happy with the response, Frances smiles and skips out of the classroom. “Phew, that was close” Miss Edwards laughs as she wipes the sweat off her brow. “Hey, you, have you got a free lesson next?” Matilda says, as she pokes her head through the door. “I do indeed. I am just going to be marking some papers, feel free to join if you are free?” Miss Edwards replies. “Oh no, I was just passing through before my English Lit class. We have just started reading ‘I know why the caged bird sings’ but I thought I’ll just pop in to say hi and more importantly see what you wanted for dinner tonight? I think I have mastered the way you make mac and cheese” Matilda says proudly. “Ooo, that does sound great. I cannot wait to try that, oo and some ribs on the side maybe. What do you think?” Miss Edwards says back to Matilda, rubbing her stomach as she dreams of the ribs. They continue to chat for a little while, before the bell rings for the next class.

The school has been Miss Trunchbull free for six years, four months and thirty-three days. The memory of Miss Trunchbull flying out of the classroom window is still edged into their minds. However, not a second has gone passed, where the students have missed the delightful change. The school never thought this day would come. The dark clouds followed her banged up car en route to the school, the car sounded like chitty chitty bang bang as it repeatedly stopped to Miss Trunchbull’s anger before she was able to get it started again. “I should’ve got rid of you a long time ago, you piece of junk!” Miss Trunchbull angrily says as she pounds the steering wheel. As she pulls up to the school gates, a dragon of dark clouds appears above her, heavily breathing in and out simultaneously with Miss Trunchbull. So much so, that her car windows have now steamed up preventing anyone from seeing inside. Pupils are walking passed on their break, unaware of what awaits inside the car. Unfortunately for the school, only Miss Edwards and Matilda are aware of Miss Trunchbull's oncoming arrival. Miss Trunchbull slowly marches through the hallway, taking in all the changes since she left, grinning at every pupil she passes that is rushing to their last class. Gasping at the sight of her, six years on and her presence still sends shivers down the spines of whoever she passes. Some freeze like they are doing the mannequin challenge just at the sight of her. Other are unable to stay put, even pushing friends over to ensure their safety. “Why is she here?” a pupil whispers. “No, no, no, this can’t be real” another pupil whispers as they rub their eyes, trying to wake up from this horrible dream. Miss Trunchbull quickly turns her head, without breaking her stride to the stunned pupils and grins before knocking onto Miss Edward’s door. “Excuse me, please may I come in?” Miss Trunchbull says using her most posh voice. “Of course, please come in” Miss Edwards replies. Miss Trunchbull gingerly opens the door as she walks through smiling at Miss Edwards, sitting at her desk. She gazes at the changes Miss Edwards has made to her old hunting ground. No dart board, with numerous holes on the wall from missed shots. No Olympic pictures of her past triumphs as a champion thrower. Now the pristine sanctuary, filled with birds of paradise, empowering black artwork on the walls and an array of books. The sunshine beams through the windows, something that was never allowed in during Miss Trunchbull’s reign. “What marvelous changes you have made to my room?” Miss Trunchbull says as she continues to look around. “Yes, after you left. I thought it would be best to make certain adjustments to MY room and make it a bit more...welcoming” Miss Edwards says as she instructs her to sit on the chair opposite hers. “Well…yes, it all looks lovely…Anyway, I would like to start off by saying how am so grateful for this second chance within the school. These past six years have allowed me to really dwell on how I conducted myself as a headteacher and how I treated the students. After going through a vigorous anger management course, I feel as if I am reborn. I am here to show you and the rest of the school how I’ve changed!” Miss Trunchbull says as she proudly passes over certificate from the anger management course. “If it was down to me you would not be here. However, as the educational board have ordered you to have another chance. I will go as far a trial within the school, as a teacher. Any bad reports from you, will have you out the doors like Jazz in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Well, hopefully not exiting the same way you did last time you were here” Miss Edwards says sternly. “Of course, I wouldn’t expect anything less. I hope you can see how I have changed and before you know it, I will be back as headteacher...I mean back as a great teacher. I wouldn’t want to take over from what a wonderful job I have heard and know you have been doing here” Miss Trunchbull says with an awkward smile. “Yes... I hope so... I look forward to you seeing how well you do, when you start” Miss Edwards says as she leans forward with her outstretched hand, awaiting to shake Miss Trunchbull’s hand, before leading her out.

On Miss Trunchbull’s journey back to her car, she passes a group of college girls laughing together. Matilda is walking slightly behind, with her head swallowed by a book, as she holds a couple of books to her side. Not spotting a stone on the ground, Matilda trips causing one of the books to drop to the floor. Miss Trunchbull’s cat like reflexes, allows her to quickly swoops down and picks up the book. “Oh, ‘I know why the caged bird sings’, this is a fantastic book. O to be stuck in a cage, aye Matilda” Miss Trunchbull says with an evil laugh. The pre-warning Miss Edwards gave, was not enough for seeing her again with her own eyes. She stands speechless. Her mind vividly replaying all the terrible things she did as her headteacher.  Miss Trunchbull stood with the book held out towards Matilda, after waiting a while, she gently places it onto top of her other books. “I look forward to seeing you around the school. Matilda.” Miss Trunchbull says patting her on the head. Matilda has not made a sound or moved since she passed the book over, hoping that this bad dream would go away.

Matilda grips the books as tight as she can as she rushes back into the school, still shaken up by her encounter with Miss Trunchbull. “Miss Edwards, Miss Edwards. We can’t have it go back to the way it was last time! Why does she have to come back, is there not anything you can do?” Matilda pleads, as she uses her powers to throw her bag in the corner of the room. “Please calm down Matilda. I know this is not what any of us want, but the educational board went over my head on this. We must look at the brighter side of things, Miss Trunchbull is only a trial. If she has really been reformed into a pleasant teacher, great. If not, we will see her true colours soon enough and she will be gone for good” Miss Edwards says as she tries to ease Matilda’s mind, as well as hers. Matilda stands there gazing out the window wondering what Miss Trunchbull’s is scheming, knowing the way she treated the children before. Baffled at why she is back, let alone able to return. Matilda’s mind continues to wonder, as she ponders ways that she can get her to reveal her true self. “No powers this time!” Miss Edwards cheekily snaps at Matilda, as she places a calming hand on her shoulder. Matilda collects her bags from the room and smiles back at Miss Edwards, “Ok. We can do this” Matilda says.

Before the school day starts, the children are laughing and playing together in the playground. The sight of Miss Trunchbull forcing herself out of her small car, causes the children to abruptly stop. Crows call out as she steps through the school gates. Even the pupils who have only heard stories of Miss Trunchbull, instantly know who she is just from the aura she gives. The students who have colorful plaited hair quickly tuck them into their tops, hiding them away. Miss Trunchbull trudges through the playground, doing her best to smile at every child that she passes. “Good Morning. Hello. Hi. Good to see you. Looking good” Miss Trunchbull says as she makes her way through. No one is brave enough to reply, not knowing what is going to happen with her reappearance. “Dotty said that she saw Miss Trunchbull walk into Miss Edwards’s room before, I thought she was just trying to trick me like she always does” Kameron whispers. Miss Trunchbull quickly turns towards Kameron, making him jump out of his skin. She stops and stares at him for a second before smiling, showing all her shark like teeth. Kameron faints backwards from the view of imminent danger. Miss Trunchbull jumps to action like the flash, catching him before he drops to the ground “Clear some room children. Has anyone got some water?” Miss Trunchbull eagerly says in a sympathetic tone. As a child rushes over with some water, Miss Trunchbull whips out a handkerchief from her pocket and wets it with the water. She softly places it on his head as she fans him gently with her other hand. Kameron slowly wakes up puzzled on what happened and with Miss Trunchbull now cradling him, with a creepy smile. “I am glad you are okay. Please be careful next time.” Miss Trunchbull says as she helps him back to his feet. The entire playground stands stunned by the whole scenario, something that would have never happened before. Miss Trunchbull wipes of the dust from her suit trousers and continues to stroll to the school doors. “Are you okay, Kameron?” Harry asks. “Mentally, no. But I was just saved by Miss Trunchbull. I thought she was going to eat me alive just then, but she saved me and was nice to me” Kameron says still baffled by what has happened. The bell rings for the start of the school day, waking the kids out of their shocked state, as they pick up their belongings and head in to class all still chatting about what went on. The college students enter the class to see Miss Trunchbull welcoming then in with a heartfelt smile “Welcome, everybody. When you can, please take a seat. For those of you who don’t know, my name is Miss Trunchbull” Miss Trunchbull says as she writes her name on the board with flowers around it. With all the kids now seated, they are still wary of the changed Miss Trunchbull. “Good Morning, Miss Trunchbull. I hope you don’t mind, I will be sitting in on your first lesson” Miss Edwards says as she smiles at the class. “Phew” Poppy says from the back of the class, “feel much safer now that Miss Edwards is in the class. I know she just helped Kameron earlier, but I am not believing this act just yet” Poppy continues to whisper under her breath. “Right, as you may know I will be taking over for Mrs. Wick, who is currently off on long-term sick leave. I really do hope she has a speedy recovery.” Miss Trunchbull sympathetically says. “Let us open our history books to page thirty-two, I have been told you are all very accomplished historians. I have provided some questions papers for you all to have a go at, if you struggle at any questions, raise your hand and we will go through it as a class how to solve it” Miss Trunchbull says smiling to all, as they get stuck into the worksheet. “Miss, I never knew that you were in the roman times?” Riley says pointing at a large gladiator wielding a javelin on their sheet. The class burst into laughter as they cannot contain themselves, with Miss Edwards putting her hand over her mouth. “Please behave, Riley. That is not a nice thing to say” Miss Edwards interrupts silencing the class. Miss Trunchbull clenches her fist, which strikes fear into the all the children's faces. But as her eyes widen in anger, she quickly calms herself down by tapping her leg. “Now, now, that was a good joke Riley. Let’s back on with these questions” Miss Trunchbull says clenching her teeth as she forces a smile. Everyone is surprised by her reaction, expecting the worse from her previous antics as judge and executioner. The class continue to complete the questions with the help of Miss Trunchbull as they warm to her changed persona. “Thank you for today, Miss Trunchbull... Sorry about my earlier comment also” Riley says smiling as they all pack up. “Thanks Miss” A group of students say as they leave the class. Miss Edwards sits back for a while. “Do you mind if I have a quick word before I go?” Miss Edwards asks. “Of course, I hope I was okay for my first lesson back. Under your guidance, I can better myself here as a teacher” Miss Trunchbull replies. “I have got to say, I am rather impressed with the way you handled yourself and the class today. Now, this does not mean that I have my full trust in you, the memories of your past still weigh heavily on my mind. I will continue to keep my eye on you” Miss Edwards says.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” Matilda asks Miss Edwards as she walks through the front door of their house. “Vegetable lasagna, nice and cheesy. I am just about to finish up. Can you lay the table for us please?” Miss Edwards says. Matilda begins to set the table with her powers, moving all the cutlery and table mats into position whilst dancing around. “Oh, did you hear all about what happened with Kameron today? I cannot believe it, not what I was expecting to hear about Miss Trunchbull on her first day back” Matilda says. “I know, I know it amazed me too, I was fearing the worst when I first heard. I will still be keeping an eye on her though. However, I was impressed in the way she conducted herself in class today. It was completely out of character for her” Miss Edwards says as she brings out the dish. “You must’ve rubbed off on her” Matilda laughs. Sitting at the table they both munch down on the hot meal as the cheese oozes out of the lasagna. “Anyway, that is enough talk about Miss Trunchbull at the dinner table. How’s ‘I know why the caged bird sings’ going in class?” Miss Edwards asks as she puts her half-eaten plate to side and rubs her belly. “I am really enjoying it, Maya Angelou is incredible. ‘Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between’. I think it is rather fitting, with the whole Miss Trunchbull situation” Matilda says. “Matilda, please no more about Miss Trunchbull tonight. Although, I am glad to hear you are enjoying the book. I am not sure if I ever did finish that. It was so many years ago that I read the book” Miss Edwards says still rubbing her outstretched belly poking out of her top. As she stares the plate down, it is only a matter of moments before she is pulling the plate back to demolish.

The following day, Miss Trunchbull’s enters through the school completely different from the previous day. No student stunned in fear. Everyone continuing as normal. The previous was testament to how she has transformed. Kids now brave enough to run around her as they play a game of ‘it’, an unimaginable thought previously. Miss Trunchbull takes it all in her stride, chuckling as she watches them play and makes her way through the playground. “Heads up” a kid shouts, as a football comes flying overhead and hits Miss Trunchbull in the head. The children pause, like they are stuck in the mud. All the positivity they had, sapped out of them. Now back to expecting the worst, starting with the destruction of the ball within her hands and a punishment pending. Miss Trunchbull slowly reaches down to pick the ball up “Who kicked this ball?” Miss Trunchbull asks looking in the kid’s direction. The group of kids playing instantly push Nicky forward. “Sorry Miss, I-I-I-t was me” Nicky says stuttering as she tries to contain her fright. “Good kick but remember there are smaller children playing, so please be careful next time” Miss Trunchbull pleasantly says as she places the ball into her hands. “...Thank you, Miss Trunchbull.” Nicky says. Shocked by the response she quickly runs back to her friends. The kids around Miss Trunchbull have not taken their eyes off Miss Trunchbull this whole time, but as Nicky runs away with the ball their eyes light up, delighted on the outcome. One child starts a slow clap, with Miss Trunchbull setting off through the school doors. The other kids continue the clap as some even cheer from the bottom of their lungs. “I don’t know what happened to her in those six years away, I think my mum should go there” a child says to the group he is in. “Good morning class are you all ready to learn about the past?” Miss Trunchbull says. Miss Edwards enters the classroom to see everyone smiling and joking with Miss Trunchbull. “Have you seen Riley today, Miss Edwards. I have heard your classes are normally very punctual?” Miss Trunchbull asks as she stacks the sheets of paper on her desk. “Riley’s father called in earlier actually. Even Riley’s father did not sound well at all. From what I heard on the phone, looks like the family have caught something bad, so he won’t be in for a while” Miss Edwards says making her way to the corner of the room to observe the class. “I see, that is a shame. Well Friends, Romans, countrymen lend me your ears. Today we will be continuing our Roman adventure, hopefully we can find something that can cure Riley with these ancient methods and medicine” Miss Trunchbull says, as the students laugh in response. “I wouldn’t want to be ill in those times. I’ve read into the horror treatment that they tried, even the common cold would have been deadly” Amie calls out. “That is right Amie, so I bet Riley is happy that we have developed our medicine over the years. I’m sure he will have a speedy recovery” Miss Trunchbull says. The class continue to discuss the Romans, detailing how life was in those times. Miss Trunchbull pulls out a large shield from her bag, almost imitating Mary Poppins magic bag trick. The shield is passed around the room for all the kids to see and marvel at the design. “Romans such as Julius Caesar made great use of shields in battle, it was not always the use of the swords/spears or any weapon that won the battles for these Emperors” Miss Trunchbull says as they continue through the remainder of the lesson. “Is the lesson finished already? Felt like we were only here for ten minutes!” Yolande exclaims as the bell goes. Miss Edwards waits for everyone to leave before approaching Miss Trunchbull. Miss Edwards just stares at Miss Trunchbull for a moment as she taps her book with her pen. “I will have to go on what I can see and what I have seen is a great improvement, so I don’t think I need to be in anymore of your classes...for now. Your lessons have been very impressive, but you have really excelled in this one. Well done.” Miss Edwards says as she smiles at Miss Trunchbull and proceeds to leave the class. Miss Trunchbull watches her leave, waving until she cannot hear her footsteps. “It is really happening. My shield is in full force now.” Miss Trunchbull laughs as she bounces around like a lunatic. Matilda hears the witches laugh, walking to her next class. Interested to see who would be making such noises in school, she sneakily pokes her head through the glass of the door. Spotting Miss Trunchbull mumbling and laughing to herself, she quickly draws back so she is not seen. Memories rush back into her mind, from the pain she caused the school. “This is not right” Matilda whispers to herself. Bzzt Bzzt, Miss Trunchbull’s vibrates in her pocket. “What is it, you little worm? That child better still be in that chokey when I get back! I have another brat to keep them company that I will be bringing back later so be prepared” Miss Trunchbull shouts down the phone. Even though Matilda stood shocked by what she just heard, it was only a matter of time before Miss Trunchbull showed her true self again. Her mind automatically goes to pick up a book from the shelf. The book steadily floats out, aimed right at Miss Trunchbull. “Matilda!” Miss Edwards shouts. The book instantly drops to the ground, startling Miss Trunchbull. “I thought I told you no powers?” Miss Edwards continues as Matilda jumps out of her ninja pose and straightens up. “you wouldn’t be saying this if you knew what I just heard. Ask her who she has been talking to on the phone. I reckon she is doing some shady business. She mentioned something about a child already taken and another that she is planning on taking!” Matilda says. Miss Trunchbull slowly walks closer to them. “What do you mean? Matilda, I did not expect you to eavesdrop on my conversation...it was with the adoption agency. I am in the final stages right now, it has been rather stressful. After seeing how well it has turned out with you and Matilda, you inspired me to do better. Be better” Miss Trunchbull says as she puts on a childlike voice. “Huh. What games are you trying to play here? You will not get away with this one, we are not the same naive people you knew six years ago” Matilda confidently says. “I am a changed person Matilda, why do not believe me. Here call the last number that called, and you will see” Miss Trunchbull says as she passes the phone over. Miss Edwards pauses for a moment, before pressing the most recent contact. Matilda eagerly leans forward expecting her accomplice to reveal her evil plan. “Hello, ‘The right choice’ adoption agency, Gavin speaking. How can I help?” the man politely says answering the phone. “Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to clarify that this was an adoption agency?” Miss Edwards awkwardly replies. “It is indeed, how may I assist you today?” the man continues. “Ask him if he is dealing with Miss Trunchbull, this could all be a ruse” Matilda jumps in. “We are trying to get to the bottom of a serious school issue, that involves one of our members of staff. Have you been in contact with a Miss Trunchbull, going through the adoption process?” Miss Edwards asks. “The details of our members are strictly confidential. However, I appreciate that this is a serious matter within your school, so, I can confirm that Miss Trunchbull is currently on file within adoption agency. Unfortunately, due to the nature of this I am not able to provide you with further information. All I can say though, is whenever Miss Trunchbull is in she brightens up our office and would be a great fit for any child.” The man says. Matilda looks up at Miss Trunchbull bewildered by what has been said. “I think we should all leave it there. I do apologise for this game of cluedo, Miss Trunchbull and I wish you the best of luck in your process.” Miss Edwards says as she passes the phone back to Miss Trunchbull. “Come on you, we need to have a chat” Miss Edwards says to Matilda as she guides her out of the room. “I know she is not our biggest fan in this school, but you can’t go accusing her of these things, without any hard evidence.” Miss Edwards sternly states to Matilda as they enter her room. “She is planning something terrible, I just know it. I will get to the bottom of this” Matilda cries out. “Look, I do believe you. However, like I said we need the hard evidence. The voice on the phone did sound somewhat off and rather familiar and to get that information that easily. I have a feeling she is up to no good as usual. We have to find out what is really going on here...but in the right way” Miss Edwards says.

“Miss Edwards, Miss Edwards!” Thomas says barging through the door. “Woah, slow down Thomas. What is wrong?” Miss Edwards says startled by his entrance. “Sorry Miss, but we can’t find Nicky anywhere. All teachers are searching everywhere, so Mrs. Judy asked me to find you immediately, everybody is worried. Nobody has seen her after the break and we have heard rumours that someone snatched her from inside the school!” Thomas says panting from running in. Matilda and Miss Edwards both look at each other, sacred for Nicky. “Miss Trunchbull!” they say in unison. “Huh. Yes, Miss Trunchbull is out helping us look too” Thomas says confused. “Ok, let’s get moving, we need to find Nicky” Miss Edwards says. The three of them rush out the door, to join the search team. Outside Miss Edwards room, the majority of the pupils are also out on search. Looking in to every room in detail, with teachers pulling out ladders to check  the out of reach places. Others checking in every cupboard, closed door and hidden compartments. “This is a bit excessive don’t you think. Police normally only wait 24-48 hours for a missing person and we have the whole school looking for Nicky in under 2 hours. Especially, when we all know who the culprit is” Matilda says staring across to Miss Trunchbull, who is exploring the playground like the famous five with the other pupils. “I heard, Miss Trunchbull was the one who reported this” Thomas says. “I think we better go speak to Miss Trunchbull” Miss Edwards says. “Why me, Miss” Thomas says baffled. “Not you Thomas, thank you for your help” Miss Edwards chuckles. They march over to Miss Trunchbull side by side like they are connected by string. “Such terrible news, we have been out here looking for a while now but have seen no signs of the poor girl” Miss Trunchbull says empathetically. “Stop playing around and just tell us where Nicky is! You are not fooling me” Matilda says, crossing her arms in anger. “My dear child, what do you mean? Why would I ever do such a horrible thing? In fact, I was with you earlier, when could I have done all of this?” Miss Trunchbull innocently replies. Matilda pauses for a moment, trying to calculate it all in her head. “What about when we left, that must have been your time to strike. I heard earlier that Nicky accidentally kicked a ball that hit you in the playground. I would guess that this is your revenge, just like with Riley. I cannot prove it now, but I know what you’re capable of” Matilda says, stepping closer to Miss Trunchbull. “I am trying to be a better person, I have done nothing but positive things since I have come back, and you persist to bring me down. Something has changed over these years, I thought you were a lovely little child. Can someone not change?” Miss Trunchbull says as she falls into the oncoming teachers’ shoulders. “Miss Edwards, please. I think you need to control Matilda. I know Miss Trunchbull the ghastly things Miss Trunchbull has done in the past. However, this was the past, we must move forward and especially in times like these. The main goal now is to find Nicky, not to start a witch hunt” Mr. Awana says. Miss Edwards has been inquisitively staring across the gate like a zombie during this whole conversation. “oh...Thank you, Mr. Awana...I will take Matilda away and think of a punishment for all of this. Again, apologies for the accusations Miss Trunchbull. Everyone keep your eye out for Nicky, that is our main priority!” Miss Edwards says, as she leads Matilda over in the direction of the gates. “But…” Matilda tries to continue talking but the speed at which she is being pulled prevents her from getting a sentence out. Arriving at the gate, Miss Edwards scans around to make sure that nobody is watching. “Remember Matilda, you can’t accuse like that without hard evidence… but I think I have just found our evidence” Miss Edwards whispers as she points over at Miss Trunchbull’s car. A short and stocky man appears to walk towards the boot of the car, struggling to pick up a large suitcase, as he uses the keys to open the boot. “Work your magic Matilda” Miss Edwards says, giving her the go ahead with a little wink. Matilda fixes in on to the man, staring at him with great concentration. A stone begins to float in the air, hitting him on the shoulder. He quickly turns around searching around scared he has been spotted. “Who is there? I am a black belt in karate you know, my small height will only help me catch, I’m like a squirrel. So, come out now if you know what’s good for you!” the man calls out whilst he does a few karate chops in the air showing off his skills. Matilda and Miss Edwards barely contain their laughter. Matilda continues to play, as she flings the keys out of his hands and into the boot. “How much grease was on that burger?” the man asks himself, as he wipes his hands and reaches into the boot to retrieve the keys. Leaning further in, Matilda brings the boot crashing down “Ouch! This stupid car, I don’t know why she still has this hunk of junk” the man says angrily. The man tries to hold the boot up, but his short arms are preventing him from reaching. Matilda uses her powers to swoop him right in, shutting the boot right after. “Make sure you lock it, until we check out what is in the suitcase” Miss Edwards says. They both race over to the car, looking left to right to make sure they have not been spotted. “Is that you, moving the suitcase Matilda?” Miss Edwards asks. Surprised, Matilda slowly turns towards Miss Edwards worryingly. Panicking, they both open the suitcase like a child opening mouse trap at Christmas. “Nicky!” Matilda says, as Nicky looks up at her delighted to see a friendly face. “I knew it. Well, looks like we have our hard evidence now!” Matilda says with a beaming smile as Miss Edwards removes the duct tape from Nicky’s mouth. “Ok, ok no need to gloat. Let’s help Nicky out first before we go ruin Miss Trunchbull’s fun” Miss Edwards says as she carefully lifts her out of the suitcase. “Thank – you – I - thought - I - would never be free. Miss Trunchbull, blindsided me in the hallway, lulled me into a false sense of security by laughing and joking. Then she offered me a sweet and then all I can remember is a man trapping me in here. My mum always says don’t accept sweets from strangers, but I think I need to extend that to evil teachers as well!” Nicky says. “What should we do about the man in the boot?” Matilda asks. “I think it would be best to confront Miss Trunchbull and get the police involved here. You wait here with Nicky and I will go get Miss Trunchbull and the rest of the teachers, to show what she has been up to” Miss Edwards says. Matilda pulls out a packet of skittles from her pocket and passes it to the relieved but deflated Nicky sat on the curb. “Everything is going to be alright now, me and Miss Edwards are the dream team that once rivalled Scooby doo and the gang for their investigative skills. Now, let’s wait and enjoy these sweets as you can’t go wrong with a packet of skittles from someone you trust.” Matilda says smiling back at Nicky. “Excuse me” Miss Edwards calls out to all on the playground searching, but no one has heard or seen her to pay any attention. “Everyone...people ‘dem. Ahem.” Miss Edwards continues as she finally gets the attention of the pupils and teachers roaming about. As Miss Edwards begins to flap her arms about, instructing them in her direction. Everyone starts to run towards her, excited to know what the fuss is about. Miss Trunchbull pauses for a moment, knowing that it is in the direction of her car. She knows this can go two ways and as she does not have much faith in her minion, worry starts to set in. Miss Edwards leads the school to where Nicky and Matilda have been waiting. “It’s me. Miss Edwards and Matilda saved me! “Nicky says cheerfully as she runs over to her friends and does a little boogie in excitement. Miss Edwards leads Miss Trunchbull through the crowd of people to the front. “How could you? I thought you changed. After all that you are still the same, I cannot believe I trusted you!” Nicky says to Miss Trunchbull as she holds onto her friends. “Oh, stop your sniveling, you little brat. I would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling, Matilda! I was going to take over this school again. Removing all who thought you could mess with or tease me. I run this place. This is my castle. You cannot kick me out of this place again!” Miss Trunchbull shouts, keeping her eyes locked on Matilda as she struggles within Miss Edwards grasp. “Now I don’t want to blow my own trumpet here but…toot, toot. I had the pleasure of calling the police you for you. Squirm all you want, but the only castle you will have is in a prison cell” Miss Edwards says confidently. The sound of police sirens come from around the corner, as Miss Trunchbull continues to wiggle. Upon their arrival, Miss Edwards breaks down all that has occurred as the police handcuff both Miss Trunchbull and her minion all to the school’s delight. Everyone breaks out in dance like a flash mob, as they celebrate Miss Trunchbull’s exit for the second and hopefully final time. “She had me under a mind control spell…can you not see how much bigger she is too me, I couldn’t say no to her. She would eat me alive…C’mon, it was only two kids, one is safe now. I will tell you where the second one is, if you not let me free?” The man says panicking. “Oh my. Riley! Where have you left Riley?” Miss Edwards says as she storms to the front. “Oh, quit your whining, that little twerp shouldn’t have called me a gladiator. If you ever find Riley, tell that brat it’s their own fault and I hope I hope they have learnt their lesson” Miss Trunchbull says as she is jammed into the back off the police car. From around the corner, three students are carrying Riley between them calling for help. Miss Trunchbull’s face immediately drops, not knowing how they managed to find Riley so quickly. Riley stands in front of the crowd exhausted after the ordeal of standing in fear of falling into one of sharp nails in the inside the chokey. “I am glad you didn’t forget about me. Thought I would be stuck in there forever!” Riley says faintly. “You could’ve been anything that you wanted to be and it looks like it is too late to change. I’d be delighted, to give it some thought maybe you’ll agree that we ought two...three.. Four…” Sam sings. “Send you to jail” the entire school sings as they wave Miss Trunchbull and her minion away.

[ber39james]

Can You Wear Some Deodorant? and Other Awkward Cubicle Conversations

Imagine you’re hard at work on a report that’s due by the end of the day. It’s been a busy week so far, and you’ve got a long way to go, so you need to avoid distractions. Unfortunately, your eyes are watering and your nose is twitching because the guy in the next cube, the one who bikes ten miles to work every day, is . . . aromatic. And not in a pleasant way.

It’s time to either fill your cube to the brim with potpourri or confront Joe Cyclist. Although the latter is the more effective option, this is a sensitive topic you’re broaching. You’ll have to find a way to request odor relief that’s somewhere between a too-subtle “Hmm, what’s that smell?” and a too brutal “Dude, your stench is rank!”

When tackling delicate subjects, setting aside harsh criticism in favor of precise, tactful language can mean the difference between straining a workplace relationship and getting results. Our suggested dialogs for potentially awkward workplace scenarios should help keep your office environment more liveable, and your relationships with your colleagues more comfortable.

Situation #1: Smell me! I work out.

Your colleague is an active person. You get it. Everyone gets it, because being in his vicinity means coping with aromas reminiscent of the inside of your high school gym locker. You’ve tried dropping subtle hints, but they’re not working.

//giphy.com/embed/dpIpigeTRkNAQ

via GIPHY

What to say

First, make sure the conversation is private. You might also consider talking at the end of the day, so your colleague doesn’t have to spend hours feeling self-conscious. Assure the person that you like and respect him before tackling the odor issue.

“I think it’s awesome that you exercise every day before work. I admire how motivated you are to stay healthy.”

Don’t make accusations. Be kind but not condescending. Your colleague will likely feel embarrassed no matter what you say, but you can soften the impact by downplaying the severity and assuming they practice good hygiene. Admit the topic is awkward for you, too.

“I’m a little uncomfortable bringing this up, because I’m sure you shower every day, but sometimes I notice a strong odor after you’ve had a particularly strenuous workout. I just want to make you aware so you can decide on the best way to deal with it.”

Situation #2: The familial fundraiser

You cringe when you see one of them coming down the hall with a catalog and an order sheet in hand. These coworkers have kids in school, and every time you turn around they’re participating in one fundraiser or another. You don’t need any more wrapping paper, overpriced chocolates, cheese, sausage, or useless trinkets, thanks.

//giphy.com/embed/3o6Zt80MXsxUwVcQiA

via GIPHY

What to say

You might start by empathizing with the seller’s plight. After all, your colleague probably isn’t any more thrilled about having to solicit than you are about being solicited.

“Wow, looks like it’s that time of year again! Schools and organizations sure pile on the fundraisers.”

Now that you’ve acknowledged that the fundraiser struggle is real, it’s best to get right to the no-thank-you. Don’t browse through the sales materials, don’t ask what little Susie is selling, just politely decline.

“I get swamped with these requests from colleagues, friends, and neighbors. I’ve bought my share of things I didn’t really need in the past, so this year I’ve decided I’m not going to buy from fundraisers anymore. Thanks for understanding.”

Some workplaces have policies against selling anything in the office. If you’re aware of such a policy, feel free to tactfully bring it up.

“I remember seeing an HR policy about fundraising in the office. Do you think you should look into that so you don’t accidentally stir up trouble?”

If you’d really like to do something nice, ask if there’s somewhere you can make a donation without buying anything you don’t need. (Odds are good your colleague won’t know and you’ll be off the hook either way.)

“I don’t really need anything, but I’d like to help out. Is there a way for me to make a cash donation instead of a purchase?”

Situation #3: What’s yours is mine

Your cubicle may be fairly open, and your stuff may be out in the world for all to see, but that doesn’t make it any less your stuff. Not only is it irritating when someone “borrows” your things, it can even make you less productive.

//giphy.com/embed/10mlBmGbZwwlTW

via GIPHY

What to say

You may want to shout “Paws off my stuff!” but there’s a more tactful (if less emotionally satisfying) way to handle this—just ask.

“Please don’t take things from my desk without asking. I’m counting on them being here, and it makes it harder for me to get things done when I have to track down my supplies.”

If your colleague brushes off your request or insists it’s no big deal, you may have to push a little harder.

“Just humor me on this. It really bothers me when my things go missing.”

Situation #4: The chatty one

Some people like to talk. A lot. And when they want to shoot the breeze with you throughout the workday, it can put a serious dent in your ability to get things done.

//giphy.com/embed/3ohze3rm59N7B3MXMA

via GIPHY

What to say

You have a right to work time free from unnecessary interruptions, so ask for it directly. Just focus the conversation on your needs rather than your colleague’s behavior.

“I have a lot of trouble concentrating sometimes, and interruptions really take me out of the flow when I’m working. Could we save chit-chat for when we’re off the clock?”

When to consult HR

If your problem colleague is also your supervisor, or anyone higher up the hierarchy ladder than you, or if you don’t have a particularly close or amicable working relationship, it’s wise to let someone else do the talking. In fact, in any of these situations, if you don’t feel you can approach the conversation yourself in a way that will resolve conflict rather than create more, ask your boss or the human resources department for help.

The post Can You Wear Some Deodorant? and Other Awkward Cubicle Conversations appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog https://www.grammarly.com/blog/awkward-work-conversations/

[arthur36domingo]

Can You Wear Some Deodorant? and Other Awkward Cubicle Conversations

Imagine you’re hard at work on a report that’s due by the end of the day. It’s been a busy week so far, and you’ve got a long way to go, so you need to avoid distractions. Unfortunately, your eyes are watering and your nose is twitching because the guy in the next cube, the one who bikes ten miles to work every day, is . . . aromatic. And not in a pleasant way.

It’s time to either fill your cube to the brim with potpourri or confront Joe Cyclist. Although the latter is the more effective option, this is a sensitive topic you’re broaching. You’ll have to find a way to request odor relief that’s somewhere between a too-subtle “Hmm, what’s that smell?” and a too brutal “Dude, your stench is rank!”

When tackling delicate subjects, setting aside harsh criticism in favor of precise, tactful language can mean the difference between straining a workplace relationship and getting results. Our suggested dialogs for potentially awkward workplace scenarios should help keep your office environment more liveable, and your relationships with your colleagues more comfortable.

Situation #1: Smell me! I work out.

Your colleague is an active person. You get it. Everyone gets it, because being in his vicinity means coping with aromas reminiscent of the inside of your high school gym locker. You’ve tried dropping subtle hints, but they’re not working.

//giphy.com/embed/dpIpigeTRkNAQ

via GIPHY

What to say

First, make sure the conversation is private. You might also consider talking at the end of the day, so your colleague doesn’t have to spend hours feeling self-conscious. Assure the person that you like and respect him before tackling the odor issue.

“I think it’s awesome that you exercise every day before work. I admire how motivated you are to stay healthy.”

Don’t make accusations. Be kind but not condescending. Your colleague will likely feel embarrassed no matter what you say, but you can soften the impact by downplaying the severity and assuming they practice good hygiene. Admit the topic is awkward for you, too.

“I’m a little uncomfortable bringing this up, because I’m sure you shower every day, but sometimes I notice a strong odor after you’ve had a particularly strenuous workout. I just want to make you aware so you can decide on the best way to deal with it.”

Situation #2: The familial fundraiser

You cringe when you see one of them coming down the hall with a catalog and an order sheet in hand. These coworkers have kids in school, and every time you turn around they’re participating in one fundraiser or another. You don’t need any more wrapping paper, overpriced chocolates, cheese, sausage, or useless trinkets, thanks.

//giphy.com/embed/3o6Zt80MXsxUwVcQiA

via GIPHY

What to say

You might start by empathizing with the seller’s plight. After all, your colleague probably isn’t any more thrilled about having to solicit than you are about being solicited.

“Wow, looks like it’s that time of year again! Schools and organizations sure pile on the fundraisers.”

Now that you’ve acknowledged that the fundraiser struggle is real, it’s best to get right to the no-thank-you. Don’t browse through the sales materials, don’t ask what little Susie is selling, just politely decline.

“I get swamped with these requests from colleagues, friends, and neighbors. I’ve bought my share of things I didn’t really need in the past, so this year I’ve decided I’m not going to buy from fundraisers anymore. Thanks for understanding.”

Some workplaces have policies against selling anything in the office. If you’re aware of such a policy, feel free to tactfully bring it up.

“I remember seeing an HR policy about fundraising in the office. Do you think you should look into that so you don’t accidentally stir up trouble?”

If you’d really like to do something nice, ask if there’s somewhere you can make a donation without buying anything you don’t need. (Odds are good your colleague won’t know and you’ll be off the hook either way.)

“I don’t really need anything, but I’d like to help out. Is there a way for me to make a cash donation instead of a purchase?”

Situation #3: What’s yours is mine

Your cubicle may be fairly open, and your stuff may be out in the world for all to see, but that doesn’t make it any less your stuff. Not only is it irritating when someone “borrows” your things, it can even make you less productive.

//giphy.com/embed/10mlBmGbZwwlTW

via GIPHY

What to say

You may want to shout “Paws off my stuff!” but there’s a more tactful (if less emotionally satisfying) way to handle this—just ask.

“Please don’t take things from my desk without asking. I’m counting on them being here, and it makes it harder for me to get things done when I have to track down my supplies.”

If your colleague brushes off your request or insists it’s no big deal, you may have to push a little harder.

“Just humor me on this. It really bothers me when my things go missing.”

Situation #4: The chatty one

Some people like to talk. A lot. And when they want to shoot the breeze with you throughout the workday, it can put a serious dent in your ability to get things done.

//giphy.com/embed/3ohze3rm59N7B3MXMA

via GIPHY

What to say

You have a right to work time free from unnecessary interruptions, so ask for it directly. Just focus the conversation on your needs rather than your colleague’s behavior.

“I have a lot of trouble concentrating sometimes, and interruptions really take me out of the flow when I’m working. Could we save chit-chat for when we’re off the clock?”

When to consult HR

If your problem colleague is also your supervisor, or anyone higher up the hierarchy ladder than you, or if you don’t have a particularly close or amicable working relationship, it’s wise to let someone else do the talking. In fact, in any of these situations, if you don’t feel you can approach the conversation yourself in a way that will resolve conflict rather than create more, ask your boss or the human resources department for help.

The post Can You Wear Some Deodorant? and Other Awkward Cubicle Conversations appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog https://www.grammarly.com/blog/awkward-work-conversations/