#I’m new and I’m struggling a lot

[introvertedeviant]

Yall life is so CRAZYY, I’m going back to school this summer lmaooo

[bookalicent]

yeah so this was insane

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy Year of the Dragon!

[amihyperfixatingagain]

I painted this a long while ago when the party first split cause I knew I wouldn’t have to time paint anything when the Hells finally reunited cause of my current job. I obviously thought it’d probably be Imogen in a really dark place and Laudna being full of joy etc, when they reunited, but based on last week's episode, it’s definitely going to be the opposite. Makes me want to redo this now and switch them around. Someday when I have time, maybe.

Here have some close-ups too.

Also it’s based on this still from “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”

[snowflake-sage]

Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

I may get canceled for this but

I don’t mind discord’s UI change

[fromperdition4]

You Never Cared (Enough)

This. This is the moment, I think, where Porsche finally admits to himself he wants Kinn.

Because Porsche isn’t really arguing against Kinn’s point here.

Kinn does care about his people - we’ll see very clear examples of that later in the series (when he’s grieving for Big and Erica, when he saves Pol and Pete during the shootout, etc.), and Porsche has concrete proof that Kinn cares just as much about him -

But Porsche doesn’t want Kinn to see him as an employee - a responsibility. He doesn’t even want to be seen as a friend.

He wants Kinn to admit that being with Porsche meant something… different. That he didn’t just use Porsche, to get it out of his system, when he was an easy target.

Because it was different for Porsche.

As far as we know, the end of episode 4 was the first time Porsche had sex with a man, the first time he’d had sex after being drugged, and… the first time he’d had sex with someone he really liked. Someone he’d been starting to get to know, who irritated and intrigued him all at once, instead of just a one-time fling.

And he barely got any time to process all of that - his sexuality, his autonomy, his feelings - before Kinn shut down, put more distance between them than ever before, and became cruel -

So it’s only now, after getting time away to get back to who he was - in his own house, spending time with his brother and friends - that Porsche has finally worked out just why he’s so hurt by Kinn.

That, despite everything, he doesn't want to be just one of Kinn's people.

He wants Kinn to care more about him.

[simgerale]

me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game

[candy-ac3]

Hey guys so my family have been in a rough spot for a bit now (my dad needing to work three jobs just to try and be able to buy us dinner) and while me and my parents don’t have the best relationship I still want to help out where I can, which is why I’m asking for you guys to please buy a commission I currently have three options up with a pay what you want with the cheapest option available being three dollars. Just reblog if this is more then enough though! (Examples are on the ko-fi)

[oorangesoda]

Found old art of mine from like 9 years ago… never give up folks cause god damn what was I doing back then

[steddieas-shegoes]

Finally finished a book I started 8 (yes, 8) months ago. I looked at Liam when I closed it and said “that was not the fulfillment I was looking for” and he said “you didn’t like it?” and then I explained that I probably would have enjoyed it more at a different point in my life and sometimes we don’t find things at the right time but that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate them for what they are. And then this kid looked at me. He looked at me and he said.

“You should just read the stuff on your phone then.”

NO. I have 42 books stacked next to my chair in my room that have to be READ THIS YEAR. STOP THIS.

My child is an enabler.

[rosicheeks]

-

[itspileofgoodthings]

okay not to be a walking cliche and I hate to validate overused jargon but I kinda had a self-care day today and refilled my cup and it really helped. 😭

[batwynn]

I’m happy to share that Sticker Club AND Honorary Sticker Club on Patreon will include special Pride-themed button pins this coming month! These are a few of the designs that will be available to vote on soon! (plus a bird watching one just for fun!🪶♥️) A reminded: Pride month means stickers and cards for every tier level! You can join now for $1 and get vote for what ships/fandoms you’d like to see an art card of for June. (Some non-pride themed options are available.)

*Sticker Club is a $15+ a month tier, that includes two stickers and a card every month, sometimes with special bonuses on celebratory months like Pride Month 👀. Honorary Sticker Club is a $10 a month tier that includes one sticker and a card every month (also with bonuses on random months!)

Link to Patreon in my pinned post!

[laniidae-passerine]

decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.