#I’m manifesting good work
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Thoughts…
The sequel to My Own, Distant Home has become a huge, complicated project, and I wanted to ramble a little bit about some things to expect
- a lot more horror, considerably less smut (mostly due to the POV changes, I’m experimenting with first person, and first person smut makes me go 😵💫), but that may change if I can get the hang of it
- surprise minor characters (including a cat that is actually plot relevant)
- more Jack being pathetic, overly neurodivergent, and unintentionally funny
- heavy backstory stuff for Connor
- I don’t care if the game’s UI has an iPhone, that’s just for the player’s convenience as far as I’m concerned. I’ve written it to take place in 2006 bc the technology works best for my purposes
- also the analog romance is too good
- “I won’t make you relive Ironbark—I can’t.”
Im mostly nervous about how this project is almost completely original
I want to find the right balance of bringing elements back from the first fic, paying homage to the source material, and justifying the sequel by expanding on the world and its characters in a way that feels organic
No pressure
I just want it to be finished already, and be done well, so then I can frame it above my desk for when I’m feeling bad about my writing
“Look, you took an indie horror video game with 2 hours of content and 5 named characters and wrote thousands of words about it—and it didn’t suck”
Coming to you from the writer’s desk, dehydrated and wrists hurt—but I love it
Anyway, here’s wonderwall:
#might delete later#I just wanted to speak into the aether#I’m manifesting good work#fears to fathom#ironbark lookout#jack nelson x connor hawkins#ftf jack nelson#ftf Connor Hawkins#writing#romance fanfiction#horror fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#Spotify#silkenspeaks
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DnDads Season 2 Episode 30 spoilers without context:
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#this was a good episode#the angst manifesting worked#I’m just so obsessed with whatever the fuck is happening in this podcast
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I mean I’m obsessed with crash landing on you because it’s like if a hallmark movie was good and that is fascinating to my brain and healing to my heart.
#I didn’t think such a thing was possible#I’ve been living very much in a world of extremes lately re: Art#like. on the one hand all the great works I teach just taking OVER my brain#and my knowledge of them deepening at a very rapid pace#(sometimes in a too terrifying way so I feel like I’m hurtling down a hill. it’s actually really hard sometimes and I think part of how)#(my anxiety is manifesting itself. like. I just. I don’t feel like I’ve taken a deep breath in a year)#(I’ve just been in. motion.)#and then on the other hand finding new ways to find shows like Bridgerton dead#and Bridgerton helps with that because it is emotionally hollow. because it is fundamentally embarrassing#because Anthony snarling at Kate about how his honor is hanging by a thread isn’t sexy at all#so my mind has kind of just been living in those two extremes and there hasn’t been a lot of room for gentleness or nuance#but cloy is very healing 😭 and it just doesn’t#push the buttons in my brain that immediately need to analyze and#to some extent—destroy! tear apart! with fierce and savage energy.#it just lets my brain and heart exist.#and also there is something so sweet and pure and real about so much of it#I think it’s cause it’s true love 😭 and it’s that simple.#(I’ve also outgrown/moved on from some of the more mediocre things I used to love. Like I just needed something new) but yeah.#it has been very hard in my brain lately even though it’s also been very good#like. teaching is just a lot these days. because it takes sooooooo much effort and work to get the kids going intellectually speaking#and one of the only ways I know how to reach them. or at least the lane I’m really driving in right now#(I know there are more ways)#is simply speaking to them above their heads. with passion and energy and a certain degree of expertise#and it’s WORKING#because it wakes them up and makes them want to engage#but I am also moving so fast and so vulnerably for all of my certainty. that it’s just hard.#I need to relax but I can’t. I feel like the devil is behind me every second#this is dramatic. and as Lewis said in surprised by joy it’s only one layer of what’s happening#but it is what happening#a lot of things are unfolding/growing and also the anxiety is terrible
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🎀 🦋ྀིྀི 🎀
#in this place where I’m at the cusp of new manifestations I’ve been aligned with and working towards for a long while..#but this place is also kind of dark and seems uncertain; the final paths unveiling in such unforeseen ways#the final strides are asking for so much from me and I am here for it a little overwhelmed and tired and scared and sad and uncertain -#but I’m also grateful and hopeful and excited and in love and know who I am and all the goodness and bliss I will continue to grow#the goddess herself#personal post#pink#yin#she speaks#higher consciousness#alignment#yin and yang#awareness#perspective#love#self love#words#manifestation#attraction#I get everything I want#always so blessed
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hiii hope you’re all well!! i’ve been super busy this week and i got an audition i need to give my all to so talk to u all next week (wednesday probs) !! have a lovely weekend, i already miss being here lol 🫶🏻
#like i’m so anxious about this whole thing but also i have a good feeling about it at the same time#like i feel like this might be the role that finally ends my bad luck lol#idk i just have a strong feeling it’ll work out#aaaaaaa im just gonna say im getting the role cause manifesting works right……#ffuuuck lmao 🥹#jenna rambles
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I’ve been working on the Kapyy midnights bodysuit vigilante shit piece and i just dotted in all the stupid rhinestones and i still need to add the glitter effect. This image is so cursed to look at. Note that i haven’t done the tassels yet.
I’ve blocked in pretty much all the other colours and i just wanted to show the dots by themself but it looks so cursed so far.
The image of Kapyy I’m using as reference, the in game half coach, makes him look so judgemental but in procreate the tool bar at the top is visible so i cant see his full face unless i zoom out further, but even without the top half of his face he looks so judgemental.
Once i finish this I’m going to tag the just dance twitter account once i post it there. I just want to confuse the community manager, see if i can get kapyy’s concept art out of them.
Funniest thing is that I’m going to make Kapyy look like he’s trying to be sexy but he’d be like one of those guys who just looks cute no matter how hard he tries and so no one takes him seriously. But right now his face looks really creepy.
Also I’m making the tassels longer once i get to them.
I’m doing this all whilst I’m doing a proper painting for my room that I’m going to put above my record player (It’s of the mystery shack from Gravity falls) and at the same time i decide to put effort into this.
I feel like playing mastermind for each eras show should’ve helped me with this. Idk what i mean by that. I was at the Dublin show and the mashup of Sweet nothing and hoax was unexpected but so good.
You know what i did this with my final piece for my art A-level where i said that i hated how it looked and then it ended up pretty good (It was a self portrait). The same is going to happen with this piece.
I may be slowly going back into my glee phase from when i first watched it last year.
Anyway here’s a video of me placing some of the dots on the side and maybe let me know if you know a good way to add glittery to like a thousand dots at once. I’m going to sleep.
#just dance fanart#just dance#work in process#wip#i hate dots#just dance kapyy#this will look good i promise#manifesting#I’m tired#my thoughts
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ok but. looking at yujiro’s nonexistent a(.)b(.)s(ecret), i think i could take him on 1v1 ezpz
#never have i ever felt such a strong urge to throw a fictional guy across the room#i haven’t trained in over a year but i think i still got it!!!!!! meet me outside yujiro i can show you ✨the world✨#i’ll whip you over my shoulder so quick you won’t be able to even get to the ‘c’ of your abcs#but hm. this kinda makes me feel better about my own growing muscles. i think my biceps are getting kinda fire ngl#guess carrying 18 litre tins of solvents at work makes for a good workout after all~~~~~~ yeayyyyyyyyt#ok but. while i’m blabbing on about absolute nonsense… my (a.b.)secret is… that i’ve never been a fan of techno im sorryyyyyy#y’seeeee it all started with my father’s cd filled with nothing but track remixes of this song called 老鼠爱大米…#and track 5 of said remix collection was a techno version of that song. it made my head pound so bad i got nauseous i think#so that’s what techno reminds me of ngl… sadge. sorry a.b.s. i gotta add you to the lxl dni tracklist along with nonfan :(#anyways live love laugh maNIFEST MEOTO MV PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPP L S#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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i got the kind of autism where I make theme songs and leitmotifs for my characters that I haven’t written anything about but have a complete fuzzy image of in my head
#online synthesizer my beloved#I have a couple for characters and I’m trying to figure out these two brothers rn (Campbell and Carnegie)#(their names are because I thought they sounded cool but weird enough to be considered stupid by other characters and in the vein#of rvb style humor they get bullied for this. Campbell especially cus he’s the younger brother with a cooler older brother)#so now I’m working on a theme that’s kind of supposed to be them coming together and working really well as a team or pair#but they still have their own little leitmotif moments that are somewhat combative or jarring with eachother to show#that while they work very harmoniously together in song and via characters#they’re still very different people and there is still tension between them#cus they’re both kinda showboaty and dicks about it but it just presents in different ways#so Campbell is reprimanded for it and gets pushback socially where Carnegie is rewarded for it#just because the behavior manifests differently#god I have sooo many thoughts about the Bennett twins (technically not twins I just call them that) you have no idea (my guys)#they’re kind of inspired by the potential in the relationship that north and south could have had#with north being the good one and south being the bad one#while they both have problems#in the Bennetts case it’s the same problem#it’s just rewarded by militaristic higher ups very differently based on skill#so yes#they’re both arrogant insecure assholes who think very highly of themselves and are quick to frustration#and are often very sensitive to outside opinions and words rather than literal meaning or action#but Campbell turns softer and much more emotionally volatile form how he gets socially rebuffed for it especially because he’s not#a great soldier#and his perfect older brother Carnegie gets all the privilege and trust because he’s seen as ruthless and ambitious and skilled when#hes just as if not visibly more petty than Campbell is#god they run circles in my head at night
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Reminder that any practice that harms or has potential to harm your physical or mental health should not be part of your practice.
Even if it’s commonly practiced.
Even if other practitioners seem fine doing it.
Especially if people push it on you saying you have to do it to be a witch.
And refusing to do a practice that harms you, even if it’s popular, does not make you any less of a witch or any less magical.
#self post#meta#||#An add on to a previous post.#Part of discernment is knowing your limits.#Vaguepost about blood magic sex magic manifestation and shadow work.#ESPECIALLY manifestation and shadow work.#They’re not inherently bad things but the way I see them shoved onto people who are hurt by them… it’s not good.#And I’m not saying witchcraft HAS to be an always good and soft and fluffy experience.#But if you’re triggered and way beyond the boundaries of what you consider acceptable discomfort then that’s a sign you should stop#|||#witchcraft#witchblr#beginner witch#baby witch#witch 101#witch tips#witchcraft 101#witch101
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good morning friendz !! i hope everyone has a great monday and wonderful start to their week ^_^ !!
#this weekend was like … the best of times and the worst of times LMAO i’m glad it’s over ngl#all last week was just a weird vibe tbh#but manifesting this week to be better for us all !!#supa excited for my bday tmro !!#got some fun things planned :3 !#other than that i think i wanna start working on my kuroo longfic again#and maybe finally start posting his series … maybe.#i just miss having one big thing to focus on for writing SOB#the zoro fic was the last one i had but it was all consuming so went by too quickly#need a lil project#OKAY IM RAMBLING TODAY SORRY !#sending out love and good energy to you all :3#love u guys sm#also lowkey want a new tag for good morning posts bc i feel like it’s my lil journal#and in case anyone needs to block it !#much 2 think about !#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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i hope your writing is going good 💜💜💜
THANK YOU SWEET ANON!!!!!! 🤩🤩🤩
i *did* get to do a little bit of work with it this morning and a whole lot of writing with it last night as well which was nice!!! :) my time has been SOOOO limited recently with school but when i do have those bits and pieces of time to just sit down and let the creative side of my brain do it’s thing, it is always just so so nice!!!!!
SO THANK YOU SWEET ANON <333333 absolutely so appreciated!!!!
#if anyone ever has questions or wants to pick my brain with ideas for the Silver Bullets girlies always feel free#sometimes i come on here for a break between classes/research/work so i’m always open to it 🥰#THANK U SWEET ANON!!!!!!#we are going to continue to manifest good vibes moving forward :))))#so far things have been going the best they can be :)))#hopefully i can get back to more writing soon!!!!! I JUST HAVE SO MANY IDEAS! NO TIME! AGH!#silver bullets#mota writings#sweet anon
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FINALLY finished my outline for prodigal son it’s going to end up way longer than i planned </3
#there’s so much i’m trying to get across without making it ridiculously long#i’m like. trying to make it clear that malc isn’t the driving force here#because he’s a bit older than jamie and jamie’s only eighteen and pretty sheltered so it could seem dodgy#and don't get me wrong i'm not going to NOT write something just because it's objectively shady especially for ttoi#but it’s not like malcolm swoops in and initiates everything. that wouldn't fit the characters#jamie’s a determined wee shit and he’s fucking relentless when he wants to be#it’s more a case of malcolm caving and agreeing to let him into His World as it were#and jamie’s always had this anger and this rebellious streak that leaves him susceptible to doing shady shit#he’s not a kid he’s making his own decisions malc’s just here for the ride#and also like. jamie SEEMS like he’s losing his faith at points but it’s actually getting stronger#i don’t want it to seem like he’s given up god for the sake of following malcolm#he’s just making peace with the fact that his god and the christian god don’t align too well#it's kind of like. malcolm is partly helping him be more honest and brave and do some good in the world#but he's also partly (mostly unknowingly) being a genuinely bad influence too#but all the bad shit jamie's going to end up doing comes from himself. it was already there#because i see jamie and malc as huge enablers for each other. it's their whole thing#and i think it's interesting to show them in my fic being (for the time) very radical and rebellious#and it stems from a genuine desire to a) do good in the world and help people and b) break themselves out of the working class bubble#but by the time they reach canon that has manifested into something quite horrible#their rebellion and radicalism is now used to do bad things that don't even justify the end goal anymore#and now they've broken out the working class bubble they're just playing into the toxic westminster mindset#because that's the only way you survive in the game (or at least in malcolm's case. he ends up with no spine)#because he's willing to abandon his principles if it keeps him and the party in power#and at some point down the line the good intentions get lost to his own ego and need for control#anyway i'm normal#ttoi
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I miss my sister :(
#pluralgang#creepypasta fictive#fictive#traumagenic system#source memories#ticci Toby fictive#ahhhhhhh#I miss her so much#Lila I’m sorry#system vent#vent ish#vent I guess#I dunno dude#is this too many tags?#what am I even doing anymore?#wallowing#I’m wallowing#why can’t I choose who we introject?#I’d make good choices I swear#I’ve already tried to manifest her but god hates me personally so it didn’t fucking work#I need to stop tagging now.#have a good day or something#death tw#I guess#she dead uh oh#but she isn’t cause she ain’t real#except to me#she’s real to me#okay actually done now#or am I?
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Me: has a thesis to write with a very soon approaching deadline. Suffocating amount of lab work too.
The demon that lives in guts and occasionally tells me I have to write things that are fucked up: how much do you know about capsaicin? How much do you WANT to know about capsaicin? Do you think you can touch the dark curtain of morality through a backwards grasp at playing god in your mind? What about the ocean? What about the vastness of the ocean and what it means to truly feel trapped above and among the sea, your cries witnessed only by a handful of willing strangers turned accomplices to your not-quite-arbitrary suffering? The limitations of human kindness, communication, and cruelty come to mind. What we are able and willing to extend to others in the name of building a love that can turn to being trapped in the blink of an eye, what witnessing a downfall against your will can do to a psyche, you know….just some fun things to play with…just to get the ball rolling…
Me: *shaking, panting, sweating, visibly distracted and straining to type single words into my thesis* “…materials….and…methods….”
#I am so so so so so productive I’m manifesting working on my thesis and not typing a single word of this silly self indulgent idea until I#have done the work I need on my actual thing to GRADUATE#but also consider:::: i have a really good idea for a writing thing#gravical
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the untreated depression is depressioning so bad today 👍
#I have unfortunately been alone all day today while everyone else has been at work and hmmmmm#has not been great for my brain tbh#I’ve done lots of art and stuff around the house like chores but oh buddy I needed someone to chat shit with so bad#my brain problems manifest in a way that makes me feel very not human#that sounds v weird of me but it’s like#idk#very dog-like is the best way to describe it#like hm need enrichment need companionship#the YouTube let’s plays are not doing it anymore lmao#I did laugh once or twice at a lethal company video one of my favs did w his friends but like#hmm no#just ended up making me more sad tbh#seeing people have fun w their friends while I’m here rotting in a (very cold!) house jdjdjdjd#idk it’s silly I know but then family have got home from work and like#no one’s bothered with me#for more than a couple of minutes#and I know if you want to spend time w people you have to ask but I legitimately#do not even have the energy to ask#I just feel shite and angry and sad and irritable#and then like a good layer of numb so it feels a bit like uh#you know how things sound muffled when you’re under water#it’s like that but with emotions#idk I feel watery on the inside if that makes sense#but I don’t even have the energy to cry dhdhhddj#shit sucks man I want my energy back please I do Not enjoy being this way
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Better call Saul is da best show evarrrrr xD
#.txt#bcs#better call Saul#no I’m literally at the end of season 3 (ep 8 so not rlly)#but holy SHITTTTTT there is so much to analyze and pick apart about the acting and editing#like I’m assuming the director has a lot of control over editing on TV#because like the way shots are paced and interspersed is sooooooo good and intentional#like I’m still deciphering some of the relationships like between jimmy and his dad#and Mike and his storylines#I didn’t notice before but MAN mikes arcs in early seasons reallly ties a lot of stuff together#and also like#thinking about the passage of time between events is also rlly interesting#the show is pretty specific about the date for a TV show and so all of the continuity is really temporally visceral#I can feel how long these issues have weighed on these people or the time they’ve spent just doing regular work to achieve their ends#ALSO GODDDDDDDDDD CHUCKKKKKKKKKK ITS SUCH A GOOD SEASON ENDING ITS FUCKING TRAGIC AND GRIPPING#THE WAY HIS LONELINESS MANIFESTS AS PAIN AND DISEASE#MAKES HIM LOCK HIMSELF AWAY#idk I am a lowkey chuck stan. like he’s a fucking prick but like Rebecca said. he’s mentally ill…..#talk to me abt chuck I love his storyline and how it’s shot
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