#I’m literally the freak here aaaaah

[kavehater]

No I think there’s something wrong with me 🧍‍♀️

Don’t make me stutter on text but srsly huh ….

[rabbitholeresearch]

The Diagnosis of Chris Redfield

It all began in the spring of 1998. Raccoon City had a case of cannibalistic murders and mysterious animal attacks, both on hikers and residents that lived near Raccoon Forest. The city’s police department guess a satanic cult of some kind, probably on narcotics of some kind, given the extent of the violent attacks. However, as the investigation continued, they guessed the base of operations for this cult was somewhere deep within Arklay Mountains, about northwest of the city. With public pressure, the RPD gave in to and put a specialized task force on the team known as the Special Tactics and Rescue Service, AKA S.T.A.R.S., led by Captain Albert Wesker.

Shortly after STARS is put on the case, they send Team Bravo into the suspected hideout deep within said mountains in the mid-summer. Radio contact is lost. Alpha Team went in, finding out that Bravo was attacked, and fled into the mansion and split up.

And it’s here. It is here that young Chris Redfield’s life takes a turn for the worst. Without getting too into detail, he straight up is thrown from the world of a young cop who just had fun little shooting competitions with his friends, to a gritty, beefcake, boulder punching man who lost his memory at one point due to a concussion caused by a fake Ada Wong, regains those memories, and eventually finds the origins of Oswald Spencer’s research and destroys the origination of the Mold.

But that’s just it. How does he stay this cool, badass character that just shows up and sprays down zombies like it’s nothing? Well...he doesn’t. I think the leader of the Alpha team has severe PTSD.

Please note that this post will be talking about severe trauma from a psychiatric perspective so please, if you see or think anything might affect you, I beg you to turn away. This post will also have spoilers for the recent Resident Evil 8 game for those that haven’t played.

–

So let’s start by defining PTSD. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD is and I quote: “A psychiatric disorder that may occur in people who have experienced or witnessed a traumatic event such as a natural disaster, a serious accident, a terrorist act, or war/combat.”

Okay so at the very least, Chris Redfield is probably already a qualified patient. “Terrorist act”? Check. I would absolutely say that the events of Resident Evil 6 count as that. “War/Combat”? We saw that for the most part in RE5. “Natural Disaster?” Aaaaah. Maybe six or seven? That one’s kinda weird to be honest. But serious accident? Yes. Absolutely! Why? Because, referenced in Resident Evil 5, we see Jill Valentine, who is basically his sidekick/best friend from the very first game, and even survives on her own for a bit in Resident Evil 3, falls out of a window after attacking Albert Wesker who betrayed STARS and was infected with some form of the zombie virus. Chris presumed her death, only to find out she survived the fall through, ya know, video game logic, and was experimented on by Wesker.

Which honestly, I was surprised he didn’t come back too. I mean, in Resident Evil 5, his last hoorah is literally in a freaking volcano! What is up with that?! But his son, Jake Muller (who until RE6 didn’t even know who his dad was), appeared and I really expected Wesker to just pop up like “Hey son. I’m back with those smokes. Also, you’re immune to the C-Virus so congrats. My zombie body helped make you with your mom--” Alright that got too weird. ANYWAY.

We’re here because Chris, in all fairness, has trauma. But let’s try and figure this out. The A.P.A. states that PTSD symptoms, though they can vary in specificity, fall into four categories:

Intrusion

Avoidance

Alterations in cognition and mood

Alteration in arousal and reactivity

Now I will say I actually have PTSD of my own. Avoidance and Intrusion are absolutely symptoms I got through, as well as Cognition and Mood alterations when triggered.

Something I noticed is Chris definitely doesn’t avoid anything so we can go ahead and cross that off. Chris Redfield always dives in headfirst cuz well...he’s the American Boy. He’s the definition of charge in and be the American hero because human lives are at stake so the second one is crossed off.

Now the third one, Cognitions and Mood. This basically means important details of events aren’t remembered, everything’s kinda blurred, which results in detached behavior and Survivor’s Guilt. Now while Survivor’s Guilt is often a result of PTSD, it isn’t a form of PTSD. It’s just another symptom. It’s basically kinda like when you eat way, way too many blue gummy bears and then your poop is blue. It’s blue because of the gummy bears. If you didn’t have the Gummy Bear, you don’t have the blue poop. 

Fun fact, that’s an actual thing that happened to my dad one Easter, but I think it might’ve actually been jelly beans. I can’t really remember.

Survivor’s Guilt could very well be something Chris suffers from, dating all the way back to the Mansion Incident in the first Resident Evil. He was one of few people who survived that entire incident and what happened afterward? Did he take a mental health break? Nope! Chris takes on a mission in Europe, as seen in Resident Evil 2 when Claire is going to Raccoon City to try and find her brother. 

Now let’s think about this. Rather than rest and recover from this event, he proceeds to pursue his investigation of the Umbrella Corporation. Chris is treated at the hospital and, despite trying to report their findings to the police chief, Irons, STARS is ultimately shut down. Chris then reports everything he needs to the FBI and even assaults a fellow officer.

The RPD tells Chris he needs a break and he says he’s going to Europe for a “vacation” but this was just an excuse to get to Europe in order to enact his vengeance on Umbrella for all the Hell it caused his city and possibly even the world.

That’s nuts. I wish I could do that at my work and get away with it. Just fight someone on the shift and then go to Corporate armed with nothing but a fry basket, ready to take them out.

This leads me to that fourth category: Alterations in arousal and reactivity. This is defined as reckless or self-destructive behavior, angry outbursts, hypervigilance, and even trouble sleeping.

This is entirely reckless. I mean, I get it. Going rogue because this company is obviously evil and has a hand in bio-terrorism. Yeah. That’s fair. Let’s take them out. But if only it were that easy, as we can see throughout the franchise. Despite Umbrella BARELY hiding their attempts at world domination, as seen in RE6, no one really flinches. They’re somehow still in the running.

Having said that, in Resident Evil 4, three years after RE3, Leon actually says in the introduction that Umbrella was wiped out by the investigation. Without digging into this, I’m presuming this is because Jill managed to escape Raccoon City and was able to report her findings as one of five survivors, six if you count Ada Wong. Which does make me wonder how they’re still hanging around like a more gruesome Team Rocket.

And the last category is Intrusive. Now, this is where this unravels, actually. Intrusive is basically intrusive thoughts. Those little thoughts or images that flash through just enough to unsettle you and if you’re like me and have diagnosed OCD, then you play these thoughts over and over in your head.

It’s like you want to go to the park. Okay, great, the park is outside. Nice. The outside is where people are. People aren’t that great, in my perspective. Bad people exist. Bad people like to hurt people. I’m a people that could be hurt by a bad person. Because of that, I can’t go to the park now. 

It’s like being stuck in a loop that wants you to be sad. Like, thank you brain. I just wanted to get stuck in the baby swing but now I’m going to sit on my phone and scroll through TikTok and be sad.

Intrusive thoughts are what had me curious. The intrusive category is actually where most people are commonly confused about what PTSD is as this is where we find that flashbacks fall into. A great example of a flashback in Resident Evil is actually in the fifth game. This is where Jill Valentine doesn’t really become Chris’ partner. We learn that during the last bout, they had against Wesker is where she’d fallen out the window as I mentioned earlier. This is explained in a flashback.

That’s interesting to me. Yes, from a storytelling perspective, it makes sense, but Chris remembers such vivid details, even Wesker’s eyes glowing.

But what’s interesting is, this event, in particular, seemed to affect Chris the most. Despite that his sister has been kidnapped by people affiliated with both Umbrella and Wesker, Jill’s “death” shook him up the most, which is fair. His best friend and partner throughout the entire thing, someone he shared his trauma with and even started the BSAA with was just gone. No even a body. Three months and nothing was found before she was declared dead. He dove into his work head-on, taking every mission he could!

This is why he takes deaths so personally. This is also shown in Resident Evil 6 when Piers, a young soldier who looked up to Chris and helped find him after he lost his memory after an incident with a fake Ada Wong, is infected with the zombie virus, he holds onto his humanity in order to save Chris, but ultimately does die in the underwater lab facility, supposedly by water pressure before losing his mind to the virus.

The former Alpha Team consisted of the following:

Chris Redfield

Albert Wesker

Barry Burton

Brad Vickers

Jill Valentine

Joseph Frost

All members of the original team that infiltrated the Spencer Mansion in RE1. Let’s go ahead and cross some people off.

Wesker? Dead as of Resident Evil 5. Good. Stay dead. You suck! You’re like the Capcom version of Ganondorf, just stay dead, dude!

Burton?  Alive, but hasn’t appeared in a main RE game since the first.

Vickers? Dead as of the third installment of the game. He was the pilot who sacrificed himself after being bitten during the attempted escape from Nemesis in Raccoon City before the place was blown sky-high. You actually see him later again in the third game attacking the cop you meet in the second Resident Evil, interestingly enough, but what’s sad really is that he still has some semblance of his humanity and ends up groaning out the cop’s name before attacking and infecting that man. Poor guy. Really was just a poor soul.

Moving on. Jill Valentine? Still alive and definitely kicking but she’s become more of an iconic character for the movies. So from a lore perspective, as of the end of 5, she is no longer in the main series that we’ve seen. Mostly just referenced. This might change however later on as I do believe there will be a ninth installment coming soon if not already in the works as of writing this.

Frost? Dead. He was actually the first to die as soon as they touched down at Spencer Mansion, by zombie-dogs, no less. He stood no chance.

That means, of the original team, Chris is the only one still active. This means that he is the most trained to handle situations from a tactical perspective, but not an emotional one.

I mean, we see him really weighing the whole situation in Resident Evil 8. He’s seen smoking a cigarette, clearly stressed out and tired of dealing with everything, despite creating an Anti-Umbrella team called Blue Umbrella. Yeah. Not that creative, my guy. But he’s tired of hearing and seeing people die which...is fair.

I’d say he does have PTSD and it is Survivor’s Guilt.

Yes, he and his team are ready to die, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s losing people he’s had long nights with, sharing beer, shooting pool, busting bad scientists with, and he still loses them.

In the military, a soldier doesn’t fear his own death but the death of his comrades.

Survivor’s Guilt is really just a terrible thing. I’d say actually several characters in the Resident Evil franchise have this, including poor Mia Winters!

Chris might have it but uses it to his advantage. He uses the knowledge he’s gained from staying alive in an attempt to help others stay alive and ultimately bring down the Umbrella Coorporation.

Ultimately, Chris Redfield seems to be wanting to make up for the lives lost to this organization.

Research links:

Coping with survivor’s guilt: https://artherapyinternational.org/blog/traumatic-events-coping-with-survivors-guilt-afterwards/

What is PTSD?  https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/ptsd/what-is-ptsd

Chris Redfield Bio https://residentevil.fandom.com/wiki/Chris_Redfield#Biography

Symptoms of Survivor’s Guilty: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325578#symptoms

[seokgyuu]

My commentary on: Here comes the Sun after catching up >.<

Hi Mitch I know we haven’t properly interacted in like a year or two and I’m so sorry about that annoying bitch of an anon that totally tried to discredit your feelings about feedback any and every writer can sympathize with😕 I have liked every update and have left a like on all the posts but I thought this commentary was necessary as to not just flood your notifications with likes😅

Ch.1-6: okay so chapters 1-2 were a great way to start the story. I love the chaotic nature of the Oldies group, there’s never a dull moment with them. I enjoy how YN exposed her crush on Chan and everyone’s reactions it just set everything up perfectly (the oppa thing blew me out, I forgot about that help), elevator chaos aside lol. Okay now chapter 2.2-3 is where it’s gets SPICY for me lol. I Can feel like this somewhat their connection between YN and two of her friends but that’s just me lmao. Specifically Jihoon and Joshua. We also have the catalyst of YN meeting her crush at her apartment. Chapter 4-5 is just batshit man lol I love how YN is panicking and then hides in the bathroom. Also I feel like there’s another contender to YNs love life?! Yeah wonwoo I’m looking at you unless you’re just that antisocial💀 but Joshua definitely is YNs platonic crush😭And chapter 6 LMAAOO YN LITERALLY DUG HER OWN GRAVE BY BEING DRUNK AND BOLD💀

I’ll be back with more commentary later🥰

ME WHEN I AM SOBBING BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOD DAMN CUTE!!!!!! Nani :( *cries and cries some more*

This is so freaking sweet, fr!!! i really hope that anon learned their lesson fr!!

Now my commentary to your commentary hehe.

ah yes the oldies. they try their best. especially the 95s haven't had much of an appearance yet but tbh just a bit of them is already funny lmao. THE OPPA THING!! everyone's fav scene i believe bashfaf. WELL... someone definitely has a crush on her and maybe two of them do and one just gave up for a GOOD REASON that has not yet been revealed *giggles into fist*. Tbf Wonwoo IS very antisocial. And shua is just... he is trying soooo hard to maintain his image and jeonghan is NOT having it. we'll see how that goes lmaoo. SHE REALLY WAS DRUNK AND BOLD WASN'T SHE?? dumbass. but we love her anyways don't we <3.

Thank you so much for the commentary, I can't wait to read more aaaaah!! (also do you want an emoji? I'd love to give you one <3)

[sashi-ya]

Hello!! This is my very first time requesting to someone so hopefully i do it right lol corazon x fem!reader in hospital au where corazon will visit law in the hospital but saw reader in the hospital too as a nurse; sweet name calling, accident impregnation and reader and Cora's/Reader's first time that's all thank you!!

Hi babe!! thank u SO much for this request. Idk if you know I'm a nurse, but you have requested one of my dream realities. So, I might actually do a second part of this fic (can be read as it is, but I think there is so much potential in it). Hope you enjoy, it has a lot of fluff so I hope it's ok with you too!

Thank u for requesting!! ♥ ~

🔥NSFW ~ Donquixote Rosinante x F! Nurse! Reader ~ Sunshine

a/n: The fic can be read as it is, but I really want to do a second part for it, so the ending might be consider a cliffhanger. So, if you want me to write part 2 of it, pls tell me.

tw: Hospital Au. medical terms, Law is in hospital. Law's illness in One Piece reminds me of the actual illness called "Saturnism" or Lead poisoning (is pretty rare nowadays, but leaving you a link for some info if want to know more). The fic it's pretty fluffy, but has ofc smut. Sweet name calling, accidental impregnation.

wc: 2.5k (Yes, long ass hell. I'm sorry. But I'm a pediatric nurse that works at an ICU this is literally natural for me hahah)

Your vacations are over, it’s time for you to come back to your duties. A new shift is starting for you at the ICU, and you have been assigned a new patient…

“Good evening! I’m (Name) and I’m gonna be your nurse during night shifts! What’s your name?” you ask your little patient. White spots all over tanned skin, intense grey eyes sucked into black circles. The poor thing looks at you with a lost sight and answers your question, shortly and precisely. “Name’s Law. I have saturnism. My 7pm dose has been passed. I’m gonna need a new bag at 9pm”

As a nurse you are used to -yet not pleased- to interact with kids that somehow had lost their spark. It breaks your heart; a little kid shouldn’t be bedridden. Yet, it’s not normal for a kid to give such specific information so you just have to ask. “Hi Law, nice to meet you… you have pretty accurate information about your state. Do you like medicine?” you ask, sure that this might be the best way you can approach and win the little bean’s confidence. Your patient scans you, up and down. He takes his time to say something but looking at the side he says almost as a confession. “Uhum, I want to be a surgeon someday”.

Bingo!

“Oh, that’s amazing! Would you like me to call you <Dr. Law>?” you ask, blinking an eye. Grey eyes fixed on you. Inside, the kid is jumping, but still his serious countenance doesn’t leave his face. “Ok…” he mumbles. “Good!”.

But something suddenly interrupts your conversation with your little patient. Something handsome but clumsy… “Cora-san!”, “Huh??”, “Aaaaah!”. You turn around quickly to protect your patient from an almost three meters human crushing him.

Blond bangs that barely allow crimson eyes to show through, straight perfect nose, the kindest smile. Faces centimeters apart. Your arms holding the man’s weight, trying not to fall back over the gurney where Law is. Something feels extremely weird about being so close to a man you have never seen before. An electric feeling, a handsome face… a cute guy.

“I’m so sorry!” he apologizes as stands back up. Your scrubs allow to show some skin as they have been slightly moved to the side while helping the man. Big hands, as big as his smile, quickly move your clothes so you are once again properly covered. “I’m really sorry, I’m Donquixote Rosinante” he says, looking at the ground, ashamed by his sudden -stumbling- entrance.

Rosinante… What a beautiful name… he looks so kind.

You were about to speak, mainly because you don’t really know who he is at all, when a little voice interrupts you. “Cora-san! You are gonna crush my nurse here!”. You breathe released, at least the little bean knows him and is not some kind of freak entering the ICU or something. “Is she your nurse? I’m so sorry, miss!” Rosinante apologizes once again, taking off a maroon hat. He squeezes the red cloth in between hands, nervously, ashamed.

“Sir, it’s ok! The floor might be a little slippery here. I’m sorry! Are you “Dr. Law’s” relative?” you ask, brushing invisible dust from your clothes. “Dr. Law?” he asks, tilting his head and looking at the little boy. You giggle, because you notice a new healthy color on the kid’s skin… red, blush. “Uhm, I’m Law’s da… tutor” he says and looks for his wallet. The man takes off a little paper where it is stated how the kid is under his guard and gives it to you.

You nod, because of course this man is not harmful at all. “Thank you, Mr. Rosinante. I’m gonna be his son… I mean, tutored’s nurse for the night shifts. My name is (y/n)”. “Nice to meet you” he extends his hand and grabs yours. The touch of his skin feels so soft and welcoming…

You are suddenly pulled away from his warm embrace as your other patients need care, but you gift him a sweet smile before leaving. “Mr. Donquixote, you can stay here with Law as much as you want!. Dr. Law, I’ll be here at 21 with your new bag, ok?” you tell them and go.

During your shift you sometimes peek at Law’s bed. Rosinante is still next to him, reading with his child a manga called “Sora, the Brave Warrior of the Sea”. You check his vitals on the computer, and luckily the little guy is doing fine. But you can’t help and during your time off you enjoy the image of the perfect family of two in front of you. You rest your chin over your hand and smile like an idiot.

“You seem a little off today, huh? Perhaps that <daddy> has caught your attention?” asks Vivi. “What?” you mumble, sight lost in that big man. Vivi pushes your arm to the side, and you are violently pulled off such reverie. “Uhg Vivi, I wasn’t looking at anything in particular” you lie. “Sure… listen, that poor man only leaves the hospital for no more than two hours, he is stuck next to that boy. You should offer him the special rooms. He hasn’t slept in forever”. “Right…”.

Every time you approach them, to give Law some medications or control him, Rosinante seems to stutter. His cheeks blush, and frankly, yours too. But overall you haven’t gotten any more time to spend with them until late in the evening.

You take Law’s temperature while the little bean slowly falls asleep. The poor thing is the perfect patient, he endures way more and stands still if you need to do something. But you only wish he could be comfortable sleeping in his own room.

Rosinante has left the ICU a moment ago, so you think he might be gone to sleep. But he doesn’t. “Miss (Name), I brought you some coffee” a sweet voice whispers behind you while you are tugging the little patient with the bedsheets. You turn around and look at Rosinante. He is holding two cups of coffee. A real blessing for your first night shift after some weeks off. “Oh… Sir! Thank you so much! But you shouldn’t have” you thankfully accept the cup. “This coffee has helped me a lot, apparently the Marine’s hospital cafeteria knows how to keep people awake”. You smile warmly at him, and both of you keep looking at each other, linking sights, enjoying each other’s facial features.

The silence is suddenly broken when little Law mumbles something during his sleep. Rosinante runs next to the little child, and lets the coffee cup over the nightstand. He stumbles but manages to sit on the chair next to the bed. “Law, I’m here. I’m here” he whispers, grazing the kid’s forehead.

The love this man has for that child exceeds any other parent you have ever seen before. You take a sip of your coffee and take a look at the monitor. Everything seems ok, so you walk off to your station.

You lost track of time while filling the infirmary sheets of your patients. But soon you hear someone snoring.

Rosinante rests his head next to Law, still sitting -uncomfortably- over that precarious chair. He is clearly exhausted. And you wonder if he is a Marine, as you are working in one of Marineford’s hospitals and that’s where they used to get their medical treatments. The man snores sometimes, yet you notice he is not fully asleep as he sometimes opens his eyes to check on Law. His hand holds the little child’s spotted one and grazes it constantly.

And it’s been like this for a few nights now. You always leave your shift, but Rosinante doesn’t. And when you come back the poor man always arrives. He also has been bringing you the typical coffee. You’ve learnt he is a commander and Law and you have created pretty strong bonds.

Each afternoon before your shift, you take the time to fix your hair as much as you can and even start wearing some make up to hospital. For the very first time in ages, having to work all night long means more than taking care of some patients, but also spending time with Law and Rosinante.

Rosinante sleeps once again sitting on that chair, he has gone through endless cramps since you’ve met them, so you think it’s time to offer him the “special rooms”. And you have no doubt when he wakes up abruptly to some whining from Law. But when he wakes up his long arms knock out the coffee on the nightstand. “Fuck!” he swears, whispering.

“Mr. Rosinante!” you chime and run to his rescue. Handing him some paper towels you help him to dry his cream color trousers from the hot beverage. “Are you ok, Sir?” you ask. He looks at you, smiling -oh that smile…- and giggles. “I am! Thank you… please, don’t call me Sir!” he says, throwing the napkins in the bin. “Oh… ok” you sigh blushed because you just come to realize you have literally passed your hands over his crotch.

And because you know -and Vivi has annoyed you with it- you should tell him about the rooms, you call him to your station. “Sir… I mean, Rosinante. I’d like to offer you our private little rooms next to the ICU. The hospital has these places for parents that have their child going through long treatments. You have a bed and a private bathroom. It’s not luxury, but you could catch some rest”. The commander smiles at you, not really convinced about it. “Oh, thank you so much (Name). But I don’t know, I prefer to be next to Law, you know?” he says.

But you have to insist. “Listen, you can give me your number, and if something happens I’ll be calling you. You are right next to the ICU. Also I can send you a report on Law’s state every two hours. But you have to rest, sir. If you get sick you won’t be able to take care of Law”.

Rosinante takes a little bit of time before giving you an answer, but he finally agrees. He gives a last kiss on Law’s forehead and follows you. You tell Vivi you are gonna be showing him the rooms and leave with the man.

Your hands tremble a little while using the key to open one of the little cubicles. You can feel Rosinante’s presence behind you, and your back gets bumpy. Lord this man emanates such strong energy. Energy that attracts you so strongly, so intense…

“So, Sir… I mean, Rosinante. Here we are. Please, get yourself comfortable. It’s a pretty small place so please be careful”. But even if he wanted to, he trips himself with one of the bed’s legs and his huge body falls over yours. Your back hits the cot, but Cora manages not to crush you. Instead, his face remains millimeters from yours. His right knee at the side of your hips.

You reflect on his eyes, him reflecting on yours. Warm breath on lingering lips. Tension that creeps inside both of your bodies and wants to be released. Now, right now. Rosinante grazes your face, softly, lovingly. And without knowing how, your lips reach his. Both of you stay still for a second until your mouths let themselves go into a passionate, steamy kiss.

A steamy kiss that turns into both of you ripping your clothes off. You unbutton his shirt; he takes your scrubs off. Passionately, like in the movies. No lips apart. Soft, low moans and whines.

Rosinante bites your neck. He slides your bra straps and places a kiss on your shoulder. Your hands travel to his crotch, lowering the zipper of his coffee-stained trousers. There is no time to waste, you don’t want to waste it either. You didn’t know you needed this, but it looks as if it was all you ever asked for.

“You are so pretty” he whispers, placing soft pecks on your breasts. You can only sigh, letting yourself go into the pleasures of his soft lips over your chest. Your hands reach for his cheeks while his tongue traces circles around your sensitive belly, spasming with each touch. He crawls up once again, passing his hand on the small of your back.

He moves you up with just one hand, so your head is over the pillow, so softly and romantic. “Miss (Name) you are so gorgeous… I… I can’t stop looking at you” he says, muzzled with your lips. Your right hand on his nape, fingers tangled with his abundant blonde locks. Left hand over his hip bone.

“I… can I call you Sunshine?” he asks. You look so little compared to his almost three meters, but you love it. His huge back, long lean legs. Chest and arms covered in scars. Your fingers travel from already healed holes that look like bullet ones.

“Y-es… but, why sunshine?”.

“Because you have brought light into our world”.

“Call me Sunshine, Rosinante… Please do…” you whisper and kiss his forehead.

He pounces once again into your lips, his hands traveling through all of your body. Up and down, respectfully yet full of lust and desire. You only stop for some air and continue. He quickly and roughly lowers his trousers and underwear.

Taking a look at his size you get a little scared, but passion gets you so horny and needy that you are begging to be penetrated by him, no need for foreplay. Anything.

And Rosinante can’t wait either, and the tip of his sex plays over yours. Mixing precum and your honey both get lubricated. You spread your legs enough for him to fit in between and he aligns his shaft with your entrance. Cora doesn’t move his hips, and instead he lets himself slide slowly inside you, respecting the time your walls take to stretch and receive his length. A heavenly feeling, so kind and deadly.

When he is finally deep, so deep inside you, you feel so filled, so full of him. Both of you smile, sloppy eyelids. And your mouth opens, forming an O as he moves in and out of you, little by little increasing his hips motion. None of you moan loud because after all, you are in a hospital. But not moaning, seems impossible, so you shut your mouth by pressing your lips in endless kisses.

In and out, sometimes around his hips go. You feel a bulge forming on your lower belly, amazed by how much your body is able to take from a man.

And in between panting, sweating and sex you suddenly remember about how none of you are using any type of protection… but it’s too late. Climax begins to hit you, while you aren’t able to express anything understandable. Rosinante keeps fucking you, “Sunshine I’m coming… I will pull out…” he says.

And your ecstasy makes your eyes go blank, throwing your head back, snaking your legs around his waist. Cora pants, drops of sweat falling over your body. And even if he really wanted to, he simply couldn’t… the man fills you up, unable to move back because of your heels pressing onto his back while orgasming. Both pressing your foreheads, moaning each other’s name let your bodies succumb to the peak of your bodies bursting…

“Sunshine…”; “Rosinante…”

[petite-ursus]

Like most of us, I spend a lot of time being annoyed at how many period pieces there are for lesbians. I want more comedies set in the present. I do. But. Uh... I’m currently obsessed with the specific interestionality of 50′s era queer culture.

Like, we were right on the cusp of real change and there were all these women who were there, putting their lives (often literally) on the line because they could not NOT be authentically themselves, despite the VERY REAL danger, and in doing so setting into motion the movement which allows me to publicly be myself. Like I am FEELING the gratefulness with my recent media (A League of Their Own; One Last Stop; The Last Night at the Telegraph Club; Snapdragon. I’m going to use ALotO for a lot of my examples because it is the freshest.) The fact that these books and show exist at all is because the women they describe EXISTED and LIVED as themselves!!!! Which is aaAAAH. Inspiring. Strong. I could go on!

But it’s not just the fact that they WERE out there existing that makes me feel so much. It’s the fact that they were out there every day, at risk and history... erased them to this point, not just systemically (see: the women from A League of their Own being carefully groomed and prepped not for baseball but to appear like desirable straight women) but personally (see: Maxine’s mother kicking rejecting her.) It was not safe to be different. Nationalism and racism rampant. It was literally dangerous to have a queer family member, let alone be queer. Even families who were accepting weren’t taking photos of their queer members. (I mean luckily some were, but not in NUMBERS, you get me?) So we didn’t just lose the documentation of our roles in society, in institutions, and historical events. We lost LITTLE moments of queer joy. Little snapshots of two women together at home just spending time with family, leaning on each other.

They worked so hard. They risked so much. And they were vanished. Like, as an active, intentional action. They were disappeared from history. It makes me fucking ache.

And you might say, “Erased? You are listing all this media they are in!” But it’s new media and you and I both know that the it’s media we fought tooth and nail to be allowed.

The proof of our erasure is in how normal it is for older generations to dismiss our existence. We have never been allowed to be seen and remembered. This looks like a sudden appearance. And they vocalize that all the time! “Suddenly everyone is gay!”

And you know what? I do feel some empathy to the average person who just wasn’t looking at the systems and how they hushed us up... this does look sudden. But ultimately, the truth is, it isn’t new.We’ve always been here.

Getting to see those moments on paper and on screen feels like a freaking hug. It does not always (often doesn’t) look like modern queerness, often can’t, it’s a different time. Laws and public standards were different. Our understandings of gender were different. Sometimes the reality is that the endings of these women are bittersweet or even painful. But that’s part of what makes it so fascinating. I feel like we are starved for our origins, and for our evolution as a community. Starved for the littlest details of our history. 

And I say “we” meaning the queer community, but this is something straight people are being starved of too. It is So Hard to conceive of a world you are not being allowed to see. How can we expect them to know us and accept us if we are not allowed to show ourselves?

Academic journals and accounts are great, but frankly they are not for the average person who learns through what media they consume. My girlfriend didn’t know the phrase “friend of Dorothy” because even though that’s a fairly well known one, it’s simply not in straight media. I only know it because I specifically turned to consuming mostly queer media a few years ago.

So like. I’m rethinking my opinions on period pieces... But I guess I want them done like A League of Their Own. I want the ACTUAL stories of my foremothers lost to time unearthed and told. The ones they took from me. I want phrases and styles that were used by queer people in the past to signal to each other. Not these beautiful pieces of Cinema about pining sad lesbians in a time of Bad that has been romanticized within an inch of its life. I want lesbians and what that MEANT for the time in relation to OTHER lesbians. (OR queer people, you get me.) I do not want to once again be shown women operating their lesbian indentities almost entirely with and around men. Like, I get it. That was a facet. There are other facets.

And maybe that is less possible further back than the 50s... But we were THERE, at all levels of socioeconomic statuses and those different levels of status DID have different things allowed, and things were allowed that we really just don’t talk about (See: Gentleman Jack as well as Emily Dickinson and their ACTUAL writings.) There are stories there that need told. That need remembered.

[godsofhumanity]

Oceanus and Tetis expretion when they realize Zeus and Hera relationship? Also what if Zeus constantly tries something new to prove himself worthy, to the point those two are like aaaaah just take her already, we are already get over it!

Oceanus and Tethys absolutely adore Hera,, i think she’s their favourite niece.. and naturally,, at first they really don’t want Zeus going after her.

i think that Zeus and Hera’s relationship began with Zeus, but Hera didn’t really like him at first because even at that point, i think Zeus had already established himself as Olympus’ resident playboy.

i know that according to tradition, Metis is Zeus’ first wife, but honestly this doesn’t really make sense to me because what about the Muses?

as far as i’m concerned, Hera never tries to sabotage the Muses or do anything to punish Mnemosyne, despite Mnemosyne and Zeus having a relationship, and the only way i can justify this is if Mnemosyne was in fact,  maybe not his wife, but at least Zeus’ first girlfriend.

and we know that relationship produced 9 freaking children,, so Zeus at this point is already a dad. 

then came Metis, who incidentally, was Oceanus and Tethys’ daughter. i’m not sure how Oceanus and Tethys dealt with the fact that Zeus had swallowed Metis, but needless to say, i don’t think Oceanus and Tethys think all the highly of Zeus.

i imagine Hera would constantly hide out at Oceanus and Tethys’ place,, and these supportive foster parents would cover for her <3

Zeus would just show up and it’d go like this:

Zeus, at Oceanus’ and Tethys’ door: hello, Lord Oceanus! is Hera here? Oceanus, deadpan: i don’t know. Zeus: errrr... well could you please check? Oceanus, opening the door slightly and turning to Tethys: Tethys, my love, is Hera here? Tethys, to Hera who is literally sitting right behind the door: are you here, Hera? Hera, mouthing urgently: NO!!! Tethys: She’s not. Oceanus, to Zeus: Hera is not here. Zeus, pointing to Hera sitting down behind him: SHE’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE I CAN SEE HER????????

anyways, but Zeus is undeterred... so he keeps on going back again and again, and he always brings some gift not only for Hera, but for Oceanus and Tethys as well.

one time he actually brings an entire apple tree.. like he physically carries it all the way to Oceanus and Tethys’ house and just stands outside Hera’s window like, “Hera i got u this tree, i know u like apples :)))))” and Hera’s like “this guy is insane”

sometimes Zeus would just go up to their house and ask Oceanus if he needed help doing things,, and Oceanus would make him do the most menial of tasks to try and humiliate him,, but Zeus would just do it all in good spirit and he’d actually complete the various tasks quite well.

and Hera’s pretty amused to see Zeus doing lowly things for her sake, and eventually she realises that she’s unwittingly fallen for him...

Oceanus and Tethys soon notice an apparent change in Hera’s outlook,, and although originally they try to convince her that she can do better, they eventually concede as well because it is clear that there is real love between the two...

Tethys probably warns Hera of the difficulties that might emerge from marrying Zeus and being a queen. i think she’d remind Hera of Rhea, her own mother’s difficulties with Cronus, but on the whole, Tethys and Oceanus promise to support her and be there for her.

during the wedding part of the ceremony where the bride’s father gives her hand to her new husband, obviously Cronus isn’t going to do that, so i think Oceanus did it in his place, and Rhea and Tethys shared duties as the bride’s mothers.

[warmsol]

Isa you're so FREAKING TALENTED and your posts always light up my dash and never fail to make me smile and your energy is amazing and impeccable and you're so unbelievably kind and genuine and I just really appreciate you so much thank you so much for existing and being you and im glad that you're here and that ik you 💛✨

;—; i’m ashdkdjs literally at a loss for words. you’re so sweet, this made my morning!!!! thank you so so much for the kind words aaaaah!!!! i want this message tattoo’d on my head so i can read it forever. i love u come get this kith <3 <3 brb gonna cry happy tears for the whole day now <3

[kingdomhearts-and-soriku-trash]

Take my KH 3 nonsense dump. I was playing and this is all what came out (no proofreading):

Pete telling Sora that he’s weaker than he was before and how they should just finish him here…oh boy…that’s gotta hurt.

AND THEN HIS SAD SIGH WHEN PETE AND MALEFICENT LEAVE??? YALL??? Sora baby😭

“It’s fine. I can take it.” Oh gosh….Sora it’s alright to not be okay. And then when Goofy asks him if what Pete said bothered him, he said, “It’s fine! I can take it.” He’s insisting it and his voice is louder, which means he’s sort of yelling it. He’s deflecting and not answering the actual question. AND THEN!! When Goofy and Donald said that he’s gonna get stronger, he said, “Dont say that!”

I’m not sure what he meant at this moment, but it’s clear that any mention about his strength being lost and if he’s “okay”, it bothers him and he keeps deflecting.

Then the woman that they saved said, “Keep training and maybe one day you’ll be like Hercules,” or somewhere along those lines. Sora looks at himself and says, “Is it that obvious?” And Donald gives him a little snark. “Just for you.” And Ik Donald doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s literally that concerned father that is protective and so is Goofy. I just think Donald has sass and he likes to do it with Sora and everyone around him! And Sora has his own sass, but I wonder if this actually hurt him? Maybe not as much as before with Pete and Maleficent, but it’s still gotta hurt, right?

Ooh Xigbar showed up and said that hearts are powerful when they’re connected and then, “But if you put too much of that power in one place, some of those hearts might end up breaking.” Hmm…I just keep thinking of Sora. How he has so much hope and power from his friends in his heart, but it’s so much and maybe his own heart will break at some point because he’s protecting others. I love every KH quote-

OR it could be how everyone else’s heart broke when Sora didn’t come back. So much power was put into Sora, but in the end he didn’t come home. So much to think about-

And when Xigbar leaves, Sora, once again looks so sad. It could be a thinking face, but it honestly looks like a puppy look. It looks like he’s truly sad and maybe sad mixed with confused. He did ask “wHoS hearts?” So he is confused, but I think he’s sad bc now he thinks he can’t stop it from happening. Which is something he wants to do! He wants this power to protect others, so hearing that he can’t do it and that maybe him even getting the power will make it happen must be a huge drag. And when Hercules is cheering him up, he looks up at him with that puppy look and takes a moment to put on a smile.

I keep wondering if any of these smiles are true. Like yh I believe Sora does get happy and believes in himself sometimes, but I wonder if some of these smiles are fake-

After the battle of the Titans, Sora says, “I’ll find my strength the same way you found yours.” And like…Hercules found his strength because Meg was in trouble, someone he loved the most. So…will he find his strength in the end of all of this when his precious person is in trouble? When Riku is in trouble? And didn’t he technically do that in the end of KH 3 when he’s chasing Riku’s heart? Because he was like using all of his power, using the power of old keyblade users to save his friends, and was worried for Riku the most. He tried to chase his heart (that was GOLD may I remind you. At least I think it was-) but remembered he had to save his friends. His precious person was in trouble first which led to him getting his strength back???

Or maybe he’ll get it again in the next game. He was lost, so imagine him finding Riku, almost losing him AGAIN, and gaining his strength back one more time to save him and make it home. Ik I’m making no sense but my mind is wandering.

“I remember my first time here. I was so scared.” Riku says. Idk of his first time was when he and Sora shut the door, but if it was then that’s so sad. He said goodbye to his best friend and then felt fear immediately and was so scared for his life AAAAAH. BUT THEN HE SAYS, “But now, my doubts and fears are gone. If anything, I feel exhilarated,” and then some more words about how it isn’t just the darkness in him but something different. And he’s like “Maybe it’s because you’re here with me this time.” And as if Mickey knew everything, he shakes his head and he jumps in with our favorite thing.

“It’s not me. I think it’s because you’ve finally found inside you that special strength to protect what matters. Sometimes you care so much for somebody that other feelings disappear. And then, there’s no room for fear or doubt.” AND LIKE YEAH IT COULD BE FOR AQUA SINCE RIKU WANTS TO SAVE HER BUT LIKE….

There’s no way he cares for her that deeply. He doesn’t even know her (I think). He knows what SHES done and how he needs to save her, but he doesn’t know her. But he knows Sora. He finally understands what he feels towards Sora, even if he is still a little confused, and uses that love to make it through this world. Sora’s belief in him (which was shown in KH 2 ending AND DDD) made him realize his strength and made him love him (as in Sora) even more!! And it made him stronger AAAAAH!!

AND THEN HE SAYS, “The strength to protect what matters. It reminds me of a promise I made.” And like yh it’s to Terra bc Riku makes it obvious but like AH. Imagine if he was referencing the promise he gave to Sora?? The one where he would protect him if any meteors came down??? Idk if that was a fic I read or something that actually happened BUT STILL!! AAAAH-

“But the closer I get, the hazier our connection feels,” is what Mickey said in relation to Aqua and like…hnnnng Sora and Rikuuuu….Sora kept getting closer to Riku in KH 1 and finding him and making him come to his senses, but it only made their connection more strained and hurt and AAAAH-

HE’S BACK AT THE BEACH HE WAS WITH SORAAAA!! AND UH OH HERES THE TORNADO OF HEARTLESS. Also, playing as Riku is so cool lkke yes go my boy. Use that darkness in you with the light and be amazing like you always are meant to be.

LIKE HE MOVES?? IN A BLUR OF PURPLE LIGHT WHEN YOU PRESS SQUARE?? LIKE YES RIKU!!!

And also I love how when you beat the heartless tornado, you still didn’t technically beat it and I find it hilarious. And how they swallowed Riku lol.

“But Aqua… Shes like Sora.” AND RIKU JUST FREAKS OUT LIKE “EXCUSE ME??” BUT ALSO!! When Mickey corrects himself and is like “Strong like Sora!” Riku is relieved to understand and he actually looks happy. He knows how strong Sora is and believes in that strength aAAAAH!!! He really believes Sora can do anything, so he believes Aqua can too.

[ichirukilover]

I literally had a legit anxiety attack when I saw news about the new bleah chapter. I'm gonna vomit if I even saw a glimpse of ichihihi or their incest kid, this no joke.

Every one is excited and I'm sitting here literally terrified 😐. Kubo will destroy the rest of us

Omg I'm so sorry you felt this way, hope you feel better now. I understand, I too felt way weird the whole day after the news, I was out of it, I found myself doing something when I was supposed to do something else lol unfortunately we can't control how our heart and mind reacts. I think what my mind is actually "scared" about is going through that pain all over again. Which I hope and think will not happen again. I hope you feel better, usually after the initial impact I just get back to "whatever" mood like who cares, after all I left ble*ach back in 2016. As I always said whatever we would get next I would just simply ignore and not care about it.

You should do the same too, I mean of course we aren't going to like the ships or the hell spawns ever, so if there will ever be content of them of course we aren't going to like it, so just Ignore it, it's lit not for us. At this point I don't get ichirukis that expect Ku*bo to NOT make content for the canon ships? It's kinda ridicolous imo? He can do it if he wants? Of course we ain't going to like it? But that's how it goes. We just have to deal with it. Honestly I said on twitter I hope he goes for it, it's been 5 years that everytime there is some news, we go throught this mess of "will he do this, will he do that" and feel like shit because we keep wondering when he is actually going to adress his canon ships and ugly kids. Wouldn't it better if we just get it out of the way? Once it happens we can finally stop going "omg is it gonna happen this time" all the freaking time, it's a shitty feeling eiter way.

I was ready for it since after the ending, it's beeh 5 YEARS and we're still in this limbo, I wish for it to end. Are we ever going to like the ships? NOPE but that doesn't mean we have to cosume the content at all. We will be disgusted seeing it? YES, but you can try to just ingore it, I mean there is still people up to this point that still haven't read the last chapter, if they can do that, we can ignore the upcoming one. I mean I also never read anything at all after the ending, no novels, now BTW manga, no interviews because really? Me still reading Ku*bo's shit after everything he did? I am not going to do that mistake ever again. The things I've seen and read are just things that ended up on my tumblr and twitter but even then, I choose to read it, I could've ignored it too.

Aaaaah what a mess 20 years and we're still wondering if the canon ship is going to get content, it's ridicolous almost in a funny way how they got nothing up till now. Even when we "lose" I see them as losers tbh. Either way Ku*bo could easily just keep destroying all the canon we got in the past like he did in the last chapter and that's even worse than getting the canon ships content if you think about it oh well but after that ending what's there to destroy anymore? Didn't he basically shit on everything already? Can he do worse? Yes he can lol we'll just have to throw it in the trash like we did with the last part of the canon manga.

[gatherthesuspectspod]

Our London Podcast Festival Script

Two weeks ago, Gather The Suspects were invited to perform a short live piece as part of the Audio Drama Debuts Hour. We had such a blast and while we don’t have a recording of the brand new material we performed, here is the script we performed in full: 

GATHER THE SUSPECTS: LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL

SCENE 1: INT: JACK AND KARA’S FLAT

JACK and GERAINT are sat in JACK’S flat. They are playing a game on the PlayStation…

JACK: Get him! Get him! Aaaaah, balls. G, why didn’t you cover me!

GERAINT: I told you I’m rubbish at this game

JACK: Are you still stuck in the doorway at the spawn point… hah - you are! What a noob! Coo-ey…Geraint...

GERAINT: Hey! No friendly fire!

JACK: Ger, you know the rules, if it’s part of the game then it’s all fair…

GERAINT: You shot my guy blank in the face… I really don’t see how that’s part of the ga- oooh, I have another life left! 

JACK: You don’t get lives anymore in games, G… this isn’t the 80s

GERAINT: What about Super Mario?

JACK: Nope… you run out of lives, you just lose coins now…

GERAINT:  I dunno, society really is beyond repair! Talking of which…what about this ‘big case’ you’ve been working on...  (reacting to the game) Ha-hah! I’m out of the door! Finally! (back to Jack) I’m guessing, as you’re sat here with me getting your arse kicked at video games... likely by some random twelve-year-olds… that it’s going swimmingly!

JACK: Hey, I’m not getting my arse kicked… I’m just… never mind that. I have a day off...Who’d have thought going undercover would be so exhausting! 

GERAINT: Yeah, to be honest, the thought of you having a job is still quite amusing, even if it is just for appearance’s sake.

JACK: Hey, what’s so funny about me having a job? 

GERAINT: (laughing) Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s the… (Jack shoots him a look) 

GERAINT: (composing himself) Oh, you were serious... Oh, nothing…just didn’t really see it as your...um… ‘scene,’ that’s all... So, you reckon you can solve it?

JACK: Uh-huh… 

GERAINT: Aaand? 

JACK: Just uh-huh… nothing much to write home about yet, really. 

GERAINT: Jack, it’s a murder, surely there must be something exciting! Like what happened?

JACK: Angry boss…disgruntled employees... shot, by the looks of it… (reacting to the game) YES! Take that… right in the…(remembers what they were talking about)... oh, uuh… that’s about it really…

GERAINT:  “That’s about it?” Sounds like quite a big deal to me… so, you got any suspects?

JACK: That’s the problem right now… there is literally an entire office full of ‘em! But, it’s my day off and I am not thinking about it… just going to chill here and play some…

SOUND: PHONEVIBE.WAV

JACK: (Sighs)... hello…

KARA (on phone): Hey…

JACK: Hey Kara

KARA (on phone): Guess what?

JACK: The office has burned down and I don’t have to go back to work tomorrow?

KARA (on phone): Hah, you wish… no… Harrison just announced in the morning meeting that the police are coming in today to search everyone’s lockers… The whole sales team is freaking out! 

JACK: (excitedly) What!? The police are actually doing something? I can just imagine their panicked little faces!

KARA (on phone): Dai blew up at Harrison in the meeting and called it ‘an affront to his human rights...” Like, since when has douchebag Dai cared about anyone’s human rights when he’s been sleazing his way around the office. 

JACK: Ooooh, I’m coming in! 

KARA (on phone): You won’t be allowed… your card won’t let you into the building if you’re booked off on holiday… 

JACK: What about if I ask Harrison about coming in? Surely he’ll -

KARA (on phone): You’ll be lucky, he’s gone golfing. You’ll just have to wait for me to get home and fill you in on all the fun and games, I’m afraid.

JACK: Gaah! Just give me a call if they find anything, alright? 

KARA (on phone): Jack, it’s the police... they couldn’t find anything if it was surrounded by a big shiny arrow and neon writing declaring ‘I’m a clue’. Think you are safe on that one… It will be interesting to see how people react though. Like I said, they all seem pretty worried at the mo... Me and V are going to watch - I’ll let you know if any fireworks happen.

JACK: Thanks, K. Bye.

KARA (on phone): Tarra, bye. 

Phone beeps as JACK hangs up. 

JACK: Ger, get your coat… we are going to work……..

GERAINT: What?! Now? I was just getting the hang of this bloody thing too!

JACK: I’ll explain on the way. We are going on a stakeout!

SCENE 2: EXT: WELTEL CAR PARK

We open on JACK and GERAINT stood in the carpark of the Weltel call centre.

JACK: Oooh, how exciting, our first stakeout! 

GERAINT: While I’d like to share your enthusiastic outlook on the situation, couldn’t you at least have hired a car or something… just standing here in the open staring at the building doesn’t feel very… well, ‘discrete’, quite frankly. 

JACK: (mocking) Oh, I’m sorry ‘chief inspector’, I would have gone for the usual unmarked car with tinted windows, but the carpool budget has been rather reduced since, you know, the world fell apart. 

GERAINT: Alright, alright. I was just saying... We aren’t exactly inconspicuous stood here though, are we? Particularly when you keep looking through those opera glasses!

JACK: I was rushing and couldn’t find my binoculars…

GERAINT: Why do you even have opera glasses anyway… have you ever even been to the opera -

JACK: (interrupting) Shush! Look… (whispering) act natural… (they act very unnatural, suspiciously looking around staring at the sky and their shoes. 

GERAINT starts to whistle and turns away from the mic) what’s she doing?

GERAINT: Who is it? I can’t see because of all the acting natural….

JACK: (gives up whispering) Oh, just turn around, mun. Look, it’s Amy…

GERAINT: Jack, you seem to forget, I don’t work here… I have literally no idea who that is!

JACK: OK, so… Amy is married to Dai, who is possibly having an affair with the other Amy, who is definitely selling coke in the toilets to Hikari, who got in a fight with Harrison, who is having an affair with Julie, which was discovered by Cathy...

GERAINT: Who swallowed the fly… but, we are yet to discover why she swallowed said fly… perhaps…

JACK: Don’t be facetious… It’s Cathy who has been murdered, mun…

GERAINT: Aah

JACK: Get it now…

GERAINT: (unsure) Uuuh, not entirely… no… it sounds like being in school again!

JACK: Very much is, G. Just exchange flashing your rare pokemon cards around the playground for flashing your five-figure Rolex around the weekly stats meeting... and it’s basically the same.

GERAINT: What’s she doing, can you see? 

JACK: She’s stuffing something into the wheelie bins… 

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Good she’s gone… let’s go see what it was…

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

GERAINT: Wait… who’s that…

JACK: That’s douchebag Dai… let’s just hang back here a bit…

GERAINT: Douchebag Dai?

JACK: Yup… his name is David and he is a douchebag… easy enough…

GERAINT: And he is the one selling coke in the toilets?

JACK: No, keep up, G… That’s Amy… the other Amy… the one that Dai is sleeping with and not the Amy he’s married to and just saw shove stuff furtively into a wheelie bin.

GERAINT: She’s isn’t the only one either… look where your Douchebag Dai’s headed… 

JACK: The bins! Quick, what’s he holding, G… can you see?

GERAINT: (sarcastically) Why don’t you take a look with your opera glasses?

JACK: Aaah too late, he’s stuffed it in there… 

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Right, quick let’s go see what…

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: (annoyed and too loud) Aah, Jesus Christ! What now... 

GERAINT: Sssshhhhh!

JACK: Uh-oh, she’s looking around… duck.

GERAINT: Back to my earlier point… I’m not sure ‘absolutely nothing’ provides us with the best form of cover for quickly ducking out of sight...

JACK: Look, It’s not like I’m particularly experienced in hiding around spying on unsuspecting people, is it…just get over here by these flower beds… Oooh, It’s Julie! 

GERAINT: Another one heading to the wheelie bins! (innocently) Clean office, is it?

JACK: Like the Tour de France, G

SOUND: DOOR.WAV

JACK: Let’s just hang back and check no-one else wants to empty the content of their guilty conscience in the bin before we go… (wait and look around)

GERAINT: I think we’re good

JACK: Right, let’s have a look at what we’ve got… (lifting the lid) Eeeeugh it stinks… (they both peer into the bin)...look there’s some stuff right down there at the bottom… G climb in and get it - I’ll hold the lid…

GERAINT: I’m not climbing in there! This is your case, you climb in there...  

JACK: Well I can’t go in, it’ll set off my asthma…

GERAINT: Since when have you had asthma?

JACK: (coughing for effect) I don’t tell you everything about my life, you know, Ger...and, if you must know, it comes and goes… 

GERAINT: What? like, comes when you don’t want to do the dirty work yourself and goes all the rest of the time…

JACK: My doctor said I’m not to go near anything that could set it off, like dust.. Or uum…

GERAINT: Hard work? Oh, for goodness sake, just give me a boost in, OK? But you owe me! (JACK helps GERAINT into the bin) So… what have we got here… (rustles around in the small amount of rubbish covering the floor of the bin.) Some receipts for a restaurant called ‘Chez Henri’ and what looks like a stack of love letters badly wrapped up in cellotape… here you go…

JACK: (reading) “To my Darling, H. Each moment I stare at you through the glass is pure torture…” Well, that’s creepy! Anything else…

GERAINT: A lot of empty tinfoil packets… you sure you had the right Amy?

JACK: Well I didn’t say who else she was selling the stuff to...

GERAINT: There’s a folder in here too… It’s got pictures in here of Harrison and Julie… wait, there’s something else in the back part… oh my god… Jack - It’s a gun!

JACK: What?! Let’s have a - Jeeeeesus, that’s a bloody gun! 

GERAINT: I see why you have developed such a good reputation for your detective skills… What are we going to do with it? 

JACK: Look don’t touch it - I’ll…

POLICEMAN: Hey!

JACK: Oh bloody hell, it’s the fuzz… hide (Jack slams the lid shut and runs)

GERAINT: (whispering angrily) Jack! What? Let me out of here! I swear to god I’m going to…

The POLICEMAN walks over and lifts the lid

GERAINT: (flustered) Uh, hi? 

POLICEMAN: Hello, sir… may I enquire as to why you are sat inside a wheelie bin holding a gun?  

GERAINT: I...Uh… oh bloody hell

---End---

[magpieinthemorning]

Up next for rage blogging a netflix show as I watch it: Next in Fashion

- Omg everybody’s outfits and their personalities!!! <3 <3 <3 It’s really painful that every episode someone gets eliminated because they are all so amazing.

- Really hated Isaac’s attitude, though, and the dynamics that resulted from pairing him with Nasheli. She deserved so much better! She would have done so much better with another partner! It was extremely unfair to her.

- I especially loved Carli and Daniel’s pantsdress in ep 1 - I really wish I could wear it! :O

- Painful watching Hayley and Julian - he was such a character and I would have liked to see more of both of their work, but they just did not fit together. No surprise at all that the teams who know each other well and have worked together a lot already are the most successful. 

- In the streetwear competition, on a scale from 1 to 10, how racist was it that both of the teams chosen as the bottom two had the only Black women, and the only Black people left in the competition? In streetwear? Seriously? Bless guest judge Kerby Jean-Raymond. The show is edited and scripted to be extremely emotional (literally people are crying all the time, it’s fantastic), but at that point, when he decided to walk out, I truly felt it so much. Love him. Love Kiki and Farai, who are constantly being judged much harsher than the other contestants. Thankfully here the “nobody gets eliminated” move was used for good, and not to keep in boring old white guys like in Blown Away ... because there are no boring old white guys in this show! Yay! :D

UPDATE 1:

Ep. 5 - I’m not that interested in underwear, but I really enjoyed all the boxer shorts for the women’s looks. And Angel’s men’s look was amazing! I wish they would have shown it without the jacket. There was way too much focus on the made-up bra support issue. Women actually like to feel comfortable, and wasn’t it interesting that both of the all-women teams made bras without wires ... maybe because they know how uncomfortable that shit is?! So yeah ... :-/ To be honest it felt like a setup that the tops MUST have underwire and pushup. (That’s so 90′s though?) The judges didn’t ask Farai and Kiki’s model how she felt in it, like they asked one of the others, they just straight up decided to hate their creation because of the missing underwire. They acted so rude when they were looking closer at their design, the whole “What’s this?!” and pawing right under the model’s boobs. :/ Also I didn’t like Claire’s attitude and being angry that nobody was eliminated last time - so she’d have preferred if her own team was eliminated? And guess what ... 

Ep. 6 - Claire and Adolfo were eliminated, so maybe it taught her a lesson to not throw her own people under the bus? Or not ... I don’t know, it was somehow interesting how she stressed her Asian half at the end (in the speech about how she is still to be taken seriously even though she is small and half Asian), as if she wanted to distance herself from her Blackness, and look away from how racist the elimination process was? I may be reading too much into it - I’m also mixed race and really interested in how other mixed race people experience it. Still impressive that Claire and Adolfo got so far without having worked together before, if I’m not mistaken. Btw one of the judges went out of their way to compliment the unfinished edges on one look, while it had been so harshly criticized when Farai and Kiki did unfinished edges on the streetwear challenge. Sigh. All the looks in this challenge were really great, and I guess that says something about my own style ... \m/ 

I don’t know if I want to keep watching, because the judges are so irritating (sorry Tan :( ) and the elimination part is so stressful ... But I also want to see more amazing clothes and how these amazing people make them in such a short time!

UPDATE 2:

Ep. 7 - Nooo, Angelo ... It was totally fair that he was eliminated for his grave lack of technical skill, I just loved watching him on the show so much. Together with Charles they were unstoppable and complemented each other so well, but apart? ;___; Same with Carli, together with Daniel they were awesome. I could relate a lot to wanting to quit instead of finishing something half-assed. :/ So nice that other contestants were looking out for her. It felt a bit more relaxing to watch now, although the stakes keep getting higher and the contestants fewer, but it seems like they are being judged more fairly now that Anti-Black racism is off the table lmao ... Sigh, I’d really love to watch arts and crafts contests with only Black judges and contestants. + I adore Adidas and wear way too much of it, but cringe at Jo Aberg’s heavy Swedish accent, haha (I used to live in Sweden and way too many of them go around telling foreigners that Swedes don’t have an accent when they speak English *eyeroll*).

Ep. 8 - Daniel seems like such a genuinely nice and caring person, so it’s kind of okay that the white guy stayed in the game over the two Asian guys. Charles on his own was perhaps missing Angelo’s pizzazz ^^ ... I liked Marco and his stuff a lot, and it seemed a bit like a setup here, too, that they criticized his design for being “too costumey” (I kind of hate that word now thanks to this series) and he got thrown off, instead of just doing his thing the way he wanted it, regardless of whether he would be eliminated for it.  Kind of “pro wrestling” that Minju was so freaked out by the challenge and then she made the best look hands down. Loved it! Especially with the leather band/harness - I don’t get why they criticized it. Overall I was a bit disappointed in all the other looks, because I like a lot about military style, but very few except Minju used the kind of stuff that I like. I didn’t really like Angel’s look that much - the concept was amazing, but that coat seemed a bit awkward to wear and I’m a bit confused about why everyone liked it so much, but maybe I just don’t get that about fashion. Happy for her though! Many of her other looks have been really great. + Judge Elizabeth’s crooked tie drove me bonkers. WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE FASHION WHEN YOUR TIE DOES NOT COVER YOUR TOP BUTTON. lol

UPDATE 3: SEMIFINALS

I’m happy for Minju and Daniel and can’t wait to see them in the finale! I liked Ashton’s looks so much! I’d love to wear the women’s top (and maybe I will try to sew something similar for myself :-p). Loved the reference to hakama - I thought he made all the right choices of what to adopt from the inspiration. A bit bummed that he got eliminated, especially since he was so community oriented when he talked about what it would mean for him to win.  I squealed when I heard Angel’s inspiration, Tibetan horse racing! Here I felt like the looks were a bit far off from the inspiration. But they looked so gorgeous. Maybe if she’d used the bleach lace pattern (on the edges for example) it would have been even more amazing. The women’s look was so great! Though I was a bit concerned about the crotch exposure :D Overall maybe Angel didn’t need the win so I guess it’s fine that she got eliminated. I’m a bit confused about why they were so in awe about Daniel’s looks. Both of the looks were really nice and clean, but I didn’t think they were all that interesting or innovative, and the message was a bit simplistic. And I literally made a similar quilt a few months ago, so I can’t really agree with the “it’s NEVER been done before” sentiments. I’m really looking forward to his stuff in the finale though! For Minju I felt the same, it was great, but I couldn’t really relate to how they thought it was so new and fresh. The men’s pant length would have surely gotten her eliminated if she’d been Black, haha. Can’t wait to see what she makes in the finale - I’ve loved almost everything she did so far.

UPDATE 4: FINALE!!!

OMFG MINJU!!!!! YAY!!!!! Aaaaah, her collection was so beautiful and fun! And all women’s looks! It was so nice!  It was so nice that Minju’s sister also realised that she had held Minju back creatively and that it was wrong to do that. I didn’t read spoilers about the ending, and kept nervously thinking that it wouldn’t surprise me if Daniel the white guy won the entire competition, but then Minju won and Daniel was so happy for her! <3 <3 <3 I cried so much!

[gilmesc1]

What do you think of kleptomania? I think it’s misunderstood and mixed up with the lifter community. Do u have thoughts?

Ok, so let’s get this straight first. Surpriiiiiiiiise I’m not Gil, I’m just the best person to answer this and holy fuck is that scary. I have to… … ...be a responsible human!

But hey, it’s chill. Let’s do this.

Kay, so yeah, I totally agree with kleptomania being another somewhat misunderstood disorder. I think it has about as much stigma as npd or did, but hey chill, I’m a humble messenger. Hear me out.

So to most people, kleptomania=stealing. Yeah that’s right, but (obvi) there’s more. If I say that I’m a kleptomaniac (which I am) I’m sure many fine people imagine me sleeping on a bed of money or something. I fucking wish that was the case. If I had to sleep on a pile of the shit I steal, I’d probably...idk what I’d do. Definitely not sleep.

Plot twist time, I don’t think I’ve ever stolen anything valuable in my life. Definitely not any money at least. That’s what a lot of people don’t get about kleptomania. A lot of us steal what I call impulse items. Stuff we’re drawn to. Wanna hear my impulse item list? It’s pretty expensive let me tell you.

Clothespins

Marbles

Pens

Smol magnets

Those shiny fake rock things

Paperclips

Other smol shiny things

Yeah I’m a literal fucking magpie. I’m drawn to smaller things I can easily nab, bonus points if it’s shiny. Then I change from magpie to squirrel, where either I stash it and forget it, or I get so freaking guilty that I put it back.

 Guilt is a big thing for me and at least a few others I’ve met. I steal stuff because a, it’s shiny, b, I’m compelled to, and c, it’s a freaking rush. But then the rush goes away and I’m sitting there like “well shit.” Not to be whiny or anything but I’m not entirely liked by many, so knowing that I steal stuff reeeeally will not help. Then again my shoe box of 80+ stolen pens was discovered so I’m a little fucked. 

Any who, smooth transition to the lifting community. Ok, to me that is a veeeery different thing than kleptomania. First of all, I don’t set out to steal like an entire makeup pallet. I’ll be anywhere and all of a sudden I have random pens. I actually avoid stores because it’s too tempting. Secondly I don’t flaunt my “stash” because after the rush I feel embarrassed. Like I’m already called a gremlin, but I also steal stuff like a gremlin. 

Wait do gremlins even steal? 

Anyways I see the lifter community as a kind of competition and the biggest difference I can see is that it’s more intentional. Sooooo here’s what I got. 

I do steal intentionally but less intentionally than the lifters. So let’s say I’m walking by a classmate and I see their pencil case or whatevs. I get this clenching feeling because oh my god there is a PEN and it is not in my possession. Ohgodohfuck ok I’m just gonna hold it for a seeeeecond, distract people with conversation, oh wow how’d it get in my pocket haha, well no one saw…ok time to go, gonna hastily leave and I AM A MASTER CRIMINAL *timeskip* why did I even do that what if they miss their pen why couldn’t I just leave it alone aaaaah. 

I know I could do a better job of fighting it. I’m not saying “uwu I’m a victim” I’m just saying people don’t understand what kleptomania is, annnnnd it’s different from the lifter community kay?

 There are my thoughts. I know they’re soooooo impressive! Congrats anon, you got me to answer your post, you’re welcome!-Ko

[cadaceus]

C2E111

First off, I want to apologize in advance because this episode’s recap is literally 50% reactions/liveblogs and 50% my wild conspiracy theories about how all this connects (I’ve connected the dots... I’ve connected them!!) I feel like I can’t say much without spoiling something but I will just say that at the end of this episode my heart was racing and I was (and am!) just so excited about everything and to see where everything is going to go! Major spoilers down below, so tread carefully! 

- Caleb’s so excited to show them their new home, I’m so happy and excited for him!

- THREE STORY LIBRARY WE STAN

- “The quality of [the paper] is just okay” those are the words of a man who asked if he could have high quality paper and ink in his mansion and got denied lmaoooo I love him

- THE MIRROR SGHJKLS

- “That’s going to be useful” YASHA SGHJSKLDD

- These cat servants are straight out of a Ghibli movie, my heart is so warm, I love this so much it truly does feel like such a good home for all of them

- “Fucking weird,” Sam Riegel says of a cat named Shanks, as he lifts up his giant silver flask with a flashing unicorn taped to the front of it, and shows off his Matt Mercer in pigtails T-Shirt

- WAIT Yasha is right, Molly/Lucien was trying to reach “the city”/”a city” maybe that meant he had been trying to go to Aeor???

- Luc is literally the cutest, also I have missed Pumat so much I’m so happy to see him again!!!

- Wait, has it been confirmed that the Luxon Beacons are what kept the floating cities in the air, or was that just something that I so strongly headcanoned that I’ve forgotten if it’s actually true?

- The Gentleman going full  ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ at the prospect of Cree having his daughter’s blood for a blood contract sdfsghjkls BYE

- uh oh Cree’s in Eiselcross, isn’t she

- Matt’s reaction to Laura saying “the city is the weapon!” has me *eyes emoji* I think she may be on to something 

- OKAY HERE’S MY IDEA bare with me... what if these cities are/were powered by the Luxon (because dunamancy/gravity manipulation) and the Luxon was the god-killing weapon. What if the Luxon beacons are each a part of that god-killing weapon, and the cities harnessed these beacons’ powers both to stay afloat and to hunt/kill/capture gods?? 

- OH and maybe you have to reunite all the puzzle pieces/beacons in order to recreate this weapon??

- AND ALSO WHAT IF THEY RUN OFF OF LIFE FORCE AND ARE POWERED BY SOULS/LIFE FORCE ENERGY AND THAT’S WHY CONSECUTION MAKES PEOPLE EVENTUALLY GO MAD, because their life force is slowly being sucked away?? Sorry for the all caps dfghjkl I got excited

- Wait I want them to keep theorizing I was having fun we are literally all collectively that one Charlie Day meme

- Beau holding Yasha’s hand both to anchor Yasha and herself.... this will be so hard for both of them, seeing Molly’s grave again

- I KNEW BECAUSE OF SPOILERS BUT HEARING IT SAID OUT LOUD HITS SO DIFFERENT IM LOSING MY MIND FBHJDKSLK

- IM LOSIJNG IT SBDHJKL

- surprise bitch..... i bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

- It’s not Molly it can’t be Molly it’s gotta be freaking Lucien or someone I’mshsjkl;a

- Why is my heart racing so much right now Matt Mercer you cannot leave me on a cliffhanger like this dghfjkl I’m so used to just binge watching and this is my punishment for catching up with the episodes I gotta wait like a reasonable person I’m--

- Head M.T.... so many thoughts

- I have another Mollymauk/Lucien theory but I’ll hold onto it for now since I think I’ve said it before...

- Also I feel like this whole Eiselcross Arc is going to both answer and raise so many questions, I also feel like there’s gonna be an entire arms race between The Empire/The Mighty Nein, The Dynasty, and the Tomb Takers/Lucien et. al, and I am buzzing with energy over here just thinking of it!!!

- Okay I’m signing off because I could keep rambling forever but AAAAAH thank you for another amazing episode Matt & Cast, this show really evokes so much of a reaction in me, I think since it’s improv and so all the cast is just as surprised/emotional as we are, they truly are, and I love it and I love their theories and I’m just AAAAAH I cannot wait for the Eiselcross Arc!!! Let’s go y’all let’s gather our stuff and head on out!!!!!!

[momentsofbllove]

Alright, y’all, it’s time for me to get to the second half of Where Your Eyes Linger. I am anticipating that it’s going to make me feel even MORE things than the first half, because that’s just what these BL dramas like to do to my poor fragile heart. If you remember we left off with Tae-joo being a whiny little baby and making Kang-gook WALK HOME because he got jealous of the date he made Kang-gook go in the first place. 

Let’s see if this idiot can get his shit together. (I’m thinking no.)

EPISODE FIVE:

Okay, he has immediately regretted his decision and told the driver to turn around. There may be hope for him yet!

He’s mad... at Kang-gook... for walking home... after he told him to walk home?! Boy!

Kang-gook may love this boy but he is also tired of his shit.

Okay okay okay. We’re starting to reflect and look at our actions. This is good! This is progress! I’m proud of you, Tae-joo. 👍

So they’re in the same bed again. They definitely sleep this way every night. WHY?! What is the heterosexual explanation for this? There is none. Everyone knows there is none. Except Tae-joo. He thinks this is normal. It's not normal, Tae-joo.

That’s the second time he’s mentioned his mom! Okay, I’ve now gone from wanting to smack Tae-joo upside the head to wanting to cuddle him until he feels better. Kang-gook... go cuddle him until he feels better!

Kang-gook, you won’t even let him cuddle when he’s missing his mom!?

“I’m sad.” BABY!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THIS BOY!

Oh thank goodness. Finally my precious child gets a cuddle. (But it hurt Kang-gook a little to do it and that makes ME sad!)

Okay, I really adore Hyemi. She is so awkward and precious.

HA! ‘You have a bad personality.’ I love her so much.

This is the weirdest game of dodgeball I’ve ever seen. In America we use like 20 balls and it’s like a medieval war zone with people dying left and right. This is so... tame and polite.

Tae-joo is jealous again...

 I love how they’re both fighting for a spot behind Kang-gook. Like, guys, he’s built like a bear, there’s room for you both!

Ooooooh! The betrayal!!!! 😲

And then Hyemi just runs! Good choice. Good choice.

This whole conversation hurts.

Kang-gook, that is not what he wants and you know it! You’ve been repressing your own feelings for so long, now Tae-joo is staring at you like THAT and you want to spar? You are both so useless.

The episode ends THERE?!?!!!!

Where’s the ‘NEXT’ button?!

EPISODE SIX:

Oh shit! That is the WRONG person to have see them. I don’t know what’s going on with this guy, but I don’t like him!

Okay, but now he’s trying to stop Hyemi from seeing them. Is he protecting them, or her? Either way it’s kind of sweet. Is he going to make me like him?

Bonding over disliking Tae-joo. I can get behind this. (Look, I like Tae-joo, really, especially since that ‘hug me, I’m sad’ moment. But he’s arrogant and selfish. He needs people in his life who are willing to tell him that.)

Kang-gook has been in love with Tae-joo for how long? And now he finally gets the opportunity to kiss him and he just...shoves him away. Damn your sense of propriety, boy!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EPISODE TITLE?!!!?!!!!!! I don’t like it!!!!!!!

But Kang-gook is very cute pulling Tae-joo around by the wrist like a naughty toddler.

Aaaand Tae-joo is being a pouty baby again.

Oof, Tae-joo is throwing Kang-gook’s words back at him.

‘If we talk about this, we can’t do this for life.’ Oh no! Kang-gook is so worried about losing him. This is not the way to fix it though!

Oh! I did not see a confession coming just like that!

Kang-gook, baby, no! I don’t think he’s acting like this because he sees you as a parental figure/care-giver. That is NOT what this is about.

“I can live without you, you can’t.’ FIRST OF ALL, NO! Second of all, HOW DARE YOU! Kang-gook, what what WHAT are you doing?!!! Why are you trying to hurt him?!

KANG-GOOK WTF?!?!!!!

This hurts and I don’t like it!!! Kang-gook, what have you done?! He’s crying, you’re crying, he’s telling you to leave! SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW!! 😢

Okay, if Kang-gook wasn’t already in love with Tae-joo (even if he’s being an ASS about it!!) he and Hyemi would actually be really cute together. Her little doll is adorable.

‘I’m not having a hard time.’ What the fuck just happened in the gym then?!!! I’m using so many exclamation points right now and it’s all your fault. Not having a hard time. Go apologize to the man you love right now!

He bought Tae-joo chocolate milk. I can’t.

OH SHIT! What happened at the house?!

There is no fucking rest here. NEXT NEXT NEXT!

EPISODE SEVEN:

Okay, so we picked up a few minutes before Kang-gook gets home to the house that has been - what, broken into? Robbed? Worse?! Where is Tae-joo?!!! - and Kang-gook says they just have to make up like they always have before. BOY! You told him the happiest you’ve ever been was when he was IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY! How do you ‘just make up’ from that! Uhg! Boys are so dumb. 😤

Oh god, I was right! Tae-joo is gone!!!!

Kang-gook sounds so scared and lost!

Oh, that bastard! He told on them?!

Oh. Oh no. He was spying on them to protect his dad?

As if I didn’t hate Tae-joo’s dad already, now I just want to stab him in the face with something dull and rusty!

Aww, come on. I get why Kang-gook is mad, but honestly I feel sorry for this guy. Not only did Tae-joo steal 3 of his girlfriends, but then he was forced to spy on them and tell their secrets in order to protect his family. This guy is not a bad guy, he’s in the same boat they are, being controlled by the chairman. Poor thing.

Nooo! Baby, you’re not trash! You didn’t have a choice! Oh gosh, this guy (whose name I can’t freaking remember even though it was literally JUST on my screen) is now part of the ‘I will protect you, you sweet small bean’ club. It includes Tae-joo, Hyemi, and now this guy. Kang-gook WAS on that list, but he got kicked off when he was mean to Tae-joo.

Oh god. Tae-joo just kneeling there in front of his father and his lackeys... he looks so small and vulnerable! 🥺

Not only is he begging his father not to hurt the man he loves, but he also thinks he’s the only one that feels that way and my heart is CRYING!

There’s that ‘do whatever you want to me but don’t hurt the people I love’ thing again. He knows he’s in trouble, he looks so scared and alone, but damn it if he isn’t going to protect his mother, even if she’s gone. This boy!

Oh! The look on Tae-joo’s face when Kang-gook arrived! He really didn’t think he’d come.

He’s really just going to do this, huh? Take on all these people to get to Tae-joo while monologueing about how he doesn’t want to be separated from him. It’s okay. I didn’t need my heart anyway!

Oh god! That eye-contact through the window! Tae-joo looks so heartbroken watching Kang-gook get hurt!

And Kang-gook finally realizing what he feels is love while he’s bleeding on the ground, tears in his eyes while he looks at the person he has spent his whole life devoted to!

He can’t keep his eyes of Tae-joo! My heart!!!

This. Is too much. To handle.

EPISODE EIGHT:

Oh god! He went through all of that for five minutes with Tae-joo! What, to say goodbye?! No!

I want to murder this asshole and feed him to wild dogs! Stop hurting my baby! 😡 (Kang-gook is officially back on the small bean protection squad!) 

The look on Tae-joo’s face as he watches Kang-gook get beaten for him! 😢

No! Don’t go to England! Tae-joo, don’t give your father what he wants!

He sounds so broken and sad and alone. My baby!

He’s asking for one more night with Kang-gook before he goes... 😫

And now it’s Tae-joo’s turn to take care of Kang-gook. I can’t.

Everything about this hurts. Kang-gook finally confessing his feelings in return, Tae-joo refusing to kiss Kang-gook (why Tae-joo? because it would be too hard to live with the knowledge of his kiss when you know you’re leaving?).

‘My dream is to live happily, and I’m happiest when I’m with you.’

That... is the most romantic line... ever. He doesn’t want money, or power, or any of this things his father wants him to have. He just wants to be happy, and Kang-gook is his happiness. I’m just...........

Noooo! He doesn’t even say goodbye one last time?! He just leaves when he thinks Kang-gook is sleeping?!

Kang-gook’s just waiting for him to come back but he DOESN’T! 😭

What... is happening? What is going on? I’m very confused. There was a strange scene at the end of the last episode that I thought was, like... a preview for this one... but now Kang-gook is leaving the Choi’s restaurant. When did he start working there in the first place? I’m very confused. (Also... I’m sorry... that yellow sweater... is awful on him. Like... it’s so bad? And that hair cut... is so bad. This whole look on him is not good. Not good.)

Wait... are Hyemi and the not-bad-guy dating? Okay, that’s kind of cute.

Oh, ouch. Hyemi’s mom is brutal.

Aaw, and him and Kang-gook are friends now. That’s cute. But also confusing! How long has it been since Tae-joo left? It JUST happened, but everything’s changed, so time must have passed. Did I miss something?

Kang-gook: *beats the crap out of 3 trained bodyguards* Mrs. Choi: our Gook-y is so weak and frail!

Oh now they tell us! Three years?! I am not okay with this! Going to Japan to FORGET Tae-joo? I’m REALLY not okay with this! 😟

Oh god, he looks so much better this way. The blazer, the hair... so much better!

Seriously, he looks like a completely different person. He’s a very attractive man. That restaurant look was just.. so not good for him.

Oh!

Tae-joo came back for him just like he promised!!!

Haha! Yes, Tae-joo. Yes, he did get more handsome!

Yes, please run away together...

Aaaaah the ear rub! My heart! 🥰

YES! Kang-gook, get your man!

Oh gosh, is there anything better than smiling into a kiss because you’re so happy? Now I’M so happy! 💖💖💖

Okay, wow. That last episode was a damn roller coaster! This show definitely would have benefited from another hour or two to really explore a lot of these plot points, especially the three years they were apart. But I’ve read that just getting this show made in the first place was a huge success for LGBTQ+ representation in South Korea, so honestly everything this show was, was so good! So so good! (I also hear that the same production company is coming out with another one, Mr. Heart, so I’ll be looking for that one!)

[yutaya]

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x05: Under Leaf Pluck Lotus

I like this shot. The way the women are shown reflected in the wall first. Also lol quintessential synchronized female power strut

Why wait until you’re IN the office to move your wedding ring?? Or to unbutton your shirt? Well, that one I can understand - let all the people who see you heading INTO the office see the shirt still buttoned up. The ring, though - unless the POINT is to be seen moving it? Imply that you’re open to cheating or something? Ugh.

This is so sketchy.

Danny’s employees be like: “Having? My voice heard? At work? Having? My opinion? Be valued? My? Contribution? Being? Acknowledged? Personally??? ??? ??? What is happening????? ??????” And then it’s the “the worthy leader’s people love and are completely loyal to them” trope (aka one of my greatest weaknesses) forever. <3

Lmao Joy you’re cold.

“Is that heroin? You bring drugs into my office?” *Laughing/sobbing*

Ward just staring blankly while Danny name drops a bunch of triad stuff like Ward is supposed to know what that is. Danny: “...It’s a criminal syndicate.” Ward: *heavy sigh*

Danny, continuing: “So I was talking to the criminals with the hatchets and asked them for intel. They sent me a box, which was clearly a message!” Ward: “You 👏 sound 👏 in 👏 sane. 👏” Danny: “No, look, the proof is that the symbol on this heroin looks like the undying dragon that made me a living weapon!”

Lol “Harold said so himself” no faster way to turn Ward off a plan, sorry Danny

Danny. How do you manage to make half your conversations sound sketchy as hell?

Joy: *brings up the Hatchet men and Red Hook right after Danny was telling Ward about it in relation to the Hand* Ward: *alarm bells ringing because HAS DANNY BEEN TELLING JOY ALL THE THINGS WE SPECIFICALLY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TELL JOY?* Joy: Anyway, about Dad’s cancer... Ward: Oh, ok then.

Siiiiiiigh this conversation where Ward reassures Joy that she’s a good person making the right decision when she feels bad about doing something but does it anyway - to protect their own company and personal interests - and adds on a load of “also you don’t really feel guilty because you think this is wrong, you just feel sad because you’re remembering Dad, don’t mix it up”

Colleen to Claire, Iron Fist 1x05: “Oh what was that? Come on, hit me.” Colleen to Misty, Luke Cage 2x03: *hitting directly on Misty’s stump while Misty yells at her to stop* “You came to me. I’m not easy. You don’t like that?”

Claire: “I guess I got tired of people doing things for me all the time.” Claire was a helpful nurse in Daredevil, and a friend with medical knowledge in Luke Cage - Iron Fist is where she says “I am tired of being reactionary”

LOL Danny’s cute little smile when he comes in to see Colleen doing her normal thing, training a student, just - it’s so loving and adorable even though they BARELY KNOW EACH OTHER YET

Claire just giving Colleen knowing looks ahahahaha

This scene is SO CUTE Jessica and Finn do such a great job playing all the body language and speech cadences like two teenagers with crushes on each other

DANNY ordering takeout for a talk with someone without even checking to see if they’re free first is SO PRESUMPTUOUS what if she wasn’t free (which she WASN’T) or didn’t want to talk or had already eaten/already had meal plans?

I’m literally laughing out loud hahahaha takeout hahahaha

Claire is laughing at them too. This fumbling “date?” conversation is too adorable I can’t

LMAO Claire knows EXACTLY how much she is third wheeling them right now but she doesn’t care because Damn that food looks good. Girl knows what she wants. (Also a little bit of female solidarity helping to buffer when your friend has literally said “no” to the guy - but in this particular case it’s SO OBVIOUS that Colleen likes him back that I read she’s leaning more towards the ‘it’s just to make sure but also that food looks REALLY good’ - then again, especially with all the things Claire has seen there really is no such thing as ‘too cautious’... let’s go with the way she hints is an opening and when Colleen leaps on the opportunity for Claire to stay it becomes ‘yep, I’m definitely doing this, Colleen doesn’t want to be alone with the dude: confirmed’)

Ward is looking at the problem as what it is: a set-up, and they don’t fall for traps. Joy goes “Remember that I am better at public perception than you - there are more factors here to consider than what everyone involved in this particular case knows. I’M thinking long term about potential future ramifications.”

“He’s in a completely different world, Joy.” “He lives in ours, now.”

That awkward moment when you’re already digging in and someone starts praying

The way Danny just goes shutters down mode when Claire starts probing about how harsh life in the monastery was

Colleen, brainwaving to Claire: ‘YOU BITCH DON’T LEAVE ME HERE’ Claire, brainwaving right back: ‘”Vow of chastity.” I’m good. You’re on your own, girl.’ She does do one last check in to make sure Colleen really isn’t worried though which I appreciate.

Danny. You lovable buffoon. You think Ward’s problem is that he doesn’t believe you? And that if he did believe this was happening he would of course immediately take action to shut it down? Colleen to Ward, sometime in the future: “Danny has Always had way more faith in you than you deserve.” ToT

Colleen: “Ok soooo I’m still not seeing the part where you had to come tell me this? Am I just your favorite sounding board or...?” Danny: “Well, I want you to come stakeout and possibly getting killed WITH me, of course.” Colleen: “Wait, is this a date?” Danny: “What? No! I mean. Unless you want it to be?” Colleen: “No!” Danny: “No. No, uh, definitely, uh, not a date. Heh.” Colleen: “Good.” Danny: “Good.” *both nod*

Of course the argument that gets to Colleen is how this will endanger her students.

DANNY trying to convince someone to do something and then when they hesitate dropping “by the way I’m your new landlord” on them is SKETCHY you foolish foolish boy. How do you manage to come across so sketchy all the time?!

Ward: *cheerfully throwing Danny under the bus* Joy: *warning Look* Ward: *sighhhhhh you ruin all my fun Joy*

Joy: *radiating ‘just wait til we’re alone’ vibes at Ward* “:) I will back up my brother wholeheartedly because we are a united front and I refuse to let the board see any cracks to even try and exploit :)” *’JUST YOU WAIT WARD YOUR ASS IS GRASS’*

Ahahaha “Ward has always led our company to greatness with his mad genius” when Ward knows most of those decisions were actually Harold I’m cry

Danny. That’s Colleen’s private property Danny. It’s very presumptuous to order takeout, buy her building, and start playing with her katana, Danny.

Martial art style teasing rivalry culture I love it

They’re too cute

AI YA

“suck on that, Dad” Ward be like “yeah i went against everything smart that Joy and board were arguing for me to do just to make your precious company look bad DAD whatchu gonna do, huh? gonna send me more vaguely threatening text messages about how not a single moment in my life is private from you, huh, DAD? fuck you”

Danny: “it’s just nice, having someone to count on.” Colleen: “You have the Meachums.” Danny: *remains silent* IT’S SO DAMNING ahahaha Colleen has so many reasons to hate the Meachums hahahaha

Danny: “I don’t even know what I’m doing or saying until it’s taken the wrong way,” Well, I’m glad you realize that, Danny. You’ve seen how many times in the last TWO EPISODES ALONE people have recoiled slightly and gone “woah, woah, what are you doing?” Oh buddy.

Danny: “Ok, look, this stakeout is dangerous, but it’s not ILLEGAL. Technically, I own that pier, so it’s not trespassing or anything.” Radovan: “No hospitals! I’m a wanted man in several countries.”

High Ward T_T and the two different conversations Ward and Joy are having right now T_T and the way Joy doesn’t have the information to even begin to know what Ward is talking about but how she can FEEL that it’s BAD and - T___T

High Ward with his walls down cuddling Joy’s arm and saying “you stood by me” and Joy scared as hell but not hesitating on “we’re family,” as her explanation T________T

“The Hand.” - Danny knew this was The Hand going in. Claire is freaking out because SHE LEFT HELL’S KITCHEN TO GET AWAY FROM THE HAND FUCK THAT HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HER? Colleen is freaking out for an entirely different reason. :(

“The Hand is everywhere.” Cut from Claire and Danny to a new shot of Colleen looking on in the background.

Claire: “This is not something a rich kid from the Upper West Side can just ‘handle’, ok? This is a job that requires someone with special.... skills.” Ahahahaa poor Claire how DOES this keep happening to her?

Danny, with utmost conviction: “I am the ONLY one who can defeat them.” Claire: *long, defeated sigh. How many freaking times has she heard this before and how many times will she hear it again?*

Colleen: “This is my choice.” Danny hears: “because it’s the right thing to do and I care about the people of this city especially my kids who are highly likely to be effected and also I maybe care about you too.” Colleen means: “because this is the Bad Hand that is sullying my family’s good name and I will not let that stand. I will work together with my family and we will defeat this.”

Gao: “’His hands’. Are you sure it wasn’t his fist?” Guard: “Ummmmm what’s the difference”

CULTS ARE SO SCARY HE REALLY JUST KNELT THERE AAAAAH

[trulymadlysydney]

OKAY HI SO here is what happened with j!!!! he picked me up this morning as usual and we got to school and we were just chilling in the parking lot listening to music and right before it was time for us to go in he turned the music down and was just looking at me and i KNEW he was gonna say something about ~us~ so i was like is everything okay? and he didn’t even say anything he just KISSED ME. i literally died. dead. call 911 because i have PASSED AWAY. (part 2 otw)

(part 2) so he kisses me and i’m like woahhhh and he was like i’ve been wanting to do that since i was 12 🥺🥺🥺 sweet boy. my heart. and i was uhhh basically speechless so i didn’t really say anything lol so we get out have school and then he takes me home after and the whole car ride i am being so awkward bc i didn’t know what to do or say!!! and when we pulled up at my house he was like listen i didn’t mean to freak you out if you’re not trying to do that then we won’t (part 3 otw lol)

(ok last part!!) and i was like nooo i’m sorry i just don’t know what to say but yes i want to do that and he was so happyyyyy and smiley and we kissed again for a minute lol and i have been floating ever since and idk what’s gonna happen now but uhhhhh i love him

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AAAAAH HOW EXCITING MY LOVE! That sounds so cute and I am literally so so so happy for you I can’t even begin to explain!!! CONGRATS!!! This is so CUTE