#I’m literally asexual

[cholvoq]

“Softly you stir, Gently you moan

Lust in the air, Wake as I groan

In the dead of night, Love bites”

Literally the most vampire Steddie-coded song ever—

[im-jesus]

Okay, so, random dump.

I thought I was aro for a while because relationships always felt really weird and I’d always get uncomfortable and leave immediately. But, with help from my best friend and her uncanny ability to annoy and worm her way into the very core of your being I realized that I actually just have massive commitment issues. Having said that, I made a few aro and ace friends, and I learned some things!

First things first: Allonormativity is harmful.

If I want to sleep with someone, I mean I want to sleep beside them, to curl up into a ball and cuddle because I haven’t cuddled anyone to fall asleep in as long as I can remember. My earliest memory is when I was 18 months old. It shouldn’t automatically mean that I wanna fuck.

Pleasure is not inherently erotic. Sometimes, a pleasurable thing has nothing to do with sex or sexual gratification and it’s another it’s always taken that way.

Two people hanging out, and hanging out often, does not mean that two people are dating. My best friend talks to me almost as much as she talks to her beef, and we’re not dating. We were but that’s beside the point. People can be friends- people of any gender can be friends. It’s also totally cool if you don’t want friends ☺️

Sex doesn’t always mean there are romantic feelings involved. FWB is a thing that works for a lot of people, and it’s totally okay to get sexual gratification without romantic commitment. Those same two people might seem to you like they like each other as something different than friends, but they’re friends, and that’s how they’re happy. Mind your beeswax.

And for the love of all things holy (me) who decided that being romantically involved is more than friends? Why is that above it? Why is that a pedestal? It’s fuckin annoying and needs to stop.

Romantic feelings can be shared between more than two people! My other best friend is ambiamorous, and he is more devoted to its boyfriend than any two people ever be devoted to each other. I’m salty about it but it’s fine lols. You don’t always have to find everything you want in one person- and that’s okay, I promise.

Lemme know if I missed anything, I would love to learn more!

[yourlocaltiredartist]

happy ace week!!

tap/click for better quality :)

[wishchip106]

i wonder if the rest of these guys ever caught onto what charles and erik do in their free time

they both looking at eachother like they hung the moon and the stars 🤨

if it wasn’t the sixties and gayness wasn’t ILLEGAL they would be all over each other times ten

rubbing it in everyones faces

they would unofficially get married

“Husband! would you kindly get me some more sugar?”

“Of course, Husband”

while staring sickeningly in love at the other

they would do this regardless of the time period

the other xmen are sick of them, they gotta deal with that every waking moment

don’t even get me started on their extracurricular activities 🤨

the kitchen, the bedroom, the floor, the wall, the bathroom, the shower, the kitchen counter, outside, inside, on the roof (how tf did they get up there)

anyway you get me, they fucking like rabbits (switches cherik truther right here)

they would be in the honeymoon phase straight to beach divorce

god imagine being hank having to deal with the aftermath of that thoughts and prayers forreal (i’m not even religious why am i praying)

one thing thats gets me about cherik is no matter what they still love eachother deeply and unwaveringly

“sorry i blew up that factory do you still wanna play chess? 🥺”

bro these guys are insane gonna throw them in the oven

[kazbrekkerfast]

Ok but did Alice oseman literally have a telescope into my SKULL when making Isaac because HOLY FUCK HE IS LITERALLY ME like yes I love romance films and books and I’m super invested in the romance lives of my friends and want all the romance for them but the minute it comes to me I’m just like NOPE NOT FOR ME

[imconfusedbutok]

So my long distance best friend and I are platonically married and he keeps coming to me like “honey darling pookie I’ve adopted another kid” and sends me a photo of a character or he’ll say “we’ve been married for so long I want you to meet my parents” and I’m in every one of his posts and apparently all his greatest memories are of me and I’m his best friend, the point of this being that the people you love most in the world aren’t always romantic and I am always here to support my fellow aces and the aros and the aroace royals and gremlins :)

[vivika-ka]

For anyone in the ASPEC community, how did you find out you are in the ASPEC spectrum? I’ve been grappling with my identity for a while now.

Getting super personal for a minute but as someone who grew up in a small town in Brazil where even the concept of being LGBTQ+ was considered a sin/taboo during the time I was a child and teen (I’ve been told it’s somewhat better now!), I’m still trying to understand my own sexuality now that I’m out of there and have the opportunity to even explore how I feel.

And thinking back on my intimate experiences, I never felt anything while engaging in them. I’d enter some sort of limbo, idk. Just complete numbness. And I felt absolutely awful after—I’d be extremely depressed for days.

Like, I know only one instance when the journey of being together with the person and even light activities (that felt genuine) made me feel enjoyment and love. And there were the rare times I’d want to engage in sexual activities, when I felt in love with the person. But when it got to the activity itself, zilch, I felt nothing. Which made me feel guilty.

I still have difficulties knowing what spectrum I fall under. On one hand I’d say I’m panromantic asexual. On the other hand I’d say I’m just pan asexual. But both experiences (romantic and non-romantic) rendered me numb.

The thing that confuses me is, I love romance. I love love, if that makes any sense. But when it comes to me in the equation, it often (but not always) falls flat? So I get to the question of, “Am I aromantic too, then?” And I fall in this rabbit hole of scattered identities. And admittedly I often find myself falling into some sort of traditional line of thinking (thx Protestant and Catholic upbringing 🫠)

Anyway, I’m in a constant state of trying to understand myself and my sexuality, and even feel pressured at times to have a specific answer, given how it seems extremely important for people online.

Most people seem so sure. They know with such certainty, I find myself envious at times. Given that I often find myself at a lost. And that usually makes me feel…incomplete, for a lack of better word. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Idk.

[nonmahogany]

really sick of all asexual (not aroace) content being tagged as aromantic as well by default

they’re not the same pls i beg

[marlbles]

hey so why does no one talk about how scary being aroace is

[simonsezsewerrat]

Bro how many times do I gotta say “not interested”

I told you, Tumblr, I’m ace. I’m not interested in big booty bitches 😔 I’m sorry

[local-falsettos-obsession]

Being Aroace is like the power move of anyone who is AroAce. “I have a crush on you” I’m AroAce. Instant broken heart. “Wanna bang?” I’m AroAce. Horniness? GONE. “We should date” I’m AroAce. Instant broken heart part 2. “Omg you two should date” I’m AroAce. Instant payback. “Omg is that your boyfriend?” I’m AroAce. Wait nope that doesn’t work… I’m a QPR lesbian… nope still doesn’t work… god my friends are annoying…

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

Don’t mind me, just rewatching “Monumental Disaster” because of ✨her✨

I THINK SHE’S REALLY PRETTY, OKAY?!

[void-tiger]

Trying to do searches on this is always a Bad Idea: it’s either I’m Broken, My Poor Hypothetical Partner, or Must Be 0% Romo Aro.

…but I just don’t want to kiss. Ever. The most I can shutter away my feelings into a suppressed vs true neutrality is maybe a quick peck. For the other’s sake. IF I can truly trust them NOT to get offended if I just CAN’T.

Why is Sex-Repulsion and Neutrality/Flux accepted…but the same for kissing is…not.

Why can’t I be allowed to feel demiromantic but still not want to kiss. Ever. Or almost never. Feel like I shouldn’t try to explore romantic relationships with people I love and trust because it wouldn’t be fair to them.

That it’s the lesser evil if I never involve myself with anyone to protect everyone involved because it feels like a “choice” between breaking my boundaries entirely or having them suffer intimacy neglect and ultimately resenting me for it.

Why can’t I just be 0% Romo since I’m already called not a “real” aromantic/aroace for being demiromantic.

Why can’t I just have a found family of intimate friendships already to satisfy my need for community and distract away from…sometimes I do harbor intense romantic feelings for a friend that I will probably never be able to act upon, actually.

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

yeah i’m interested in sex

and by interested i mean academically

[electricxmayhem]

maybe it’s partially exacerbated by my therapists multi session run of attempting to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me cos i haven’t dated anyone. and he doesn’t like my answer that dating would eat into my chilling and spending time with my friends time.

[twomanyfandomshelp]

I’m rewatching Heartstopper because I literally cannot wait until October 3rd and I need more of this show pumped directly into my veins. It comes out two days after my seventeenth birthday, which is kinda exciting. But I digress.

I literally watched the whole first season today, which is quite impressive considering I actually did a lot of other things and didn’t start watching it until about two in the afternoon. And I finished it at like 10 pm, so it’s not like I stayed up super late to finish it either.

Rewatching this show I was giggling and kicking my feet and also yelling at the screen because sometimes the characters make kinda dumb choices and even though I already know how everything ends I still get way too invested. I just love this show so much, it’s such a comfort show for me.

My friend got me into the graphic novels right after season one released on Netflix, and after reading the whole series in two days (at the time there were four books, and soon after I found the WEBTOON and sped through that as well), I binged the entire show that day.

Heartstopper is such a pure show, and it just shows that representation is so important. I’ve heard so many stories of people realizing their sexuality (ME!) or finding the courage to come out to their parents or their friends or at school, and I think there’s just something so magical about this show.

Minor spoiler here, but Issac’s arc in season two was one of the things that kinda helped me realize that I was aroace because when I was watching the show and watching how he interacted with James and romance it made me think “huh, that’s kinda how I feel” and then I did some research (mostly comprised of scrolling the aromantic and asexual tags on tumblr, but a bit of googling as well) and realized that I’m aroace. So this show, that I already absolutely adored, suddenly became the catalyst for realizing my sexuality, and it just has such a special place in my heart. Whenever I’m sad I always rewatch the show or reread parts of the WEBTOON because it never fails to make me smile. To give me hope that there are others out there who are like me, even though all of my friends are straight and cis. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love my friends, and they were all very supportive when I came out to them, but they just don’t understand sometimes. They don’t really understand what it’s like to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. To be different. It’s not like I’m out publicly, only a few of my close friends know, but it’s still hard sometimes not having anyone to talk to about all this (besides all my wonderful aspec moots of course). My irl friends just don’t understand that sometimes I feel broken, or like there’s something wrong with me. Because, even though I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, I’m in high school, and romance and sex are such a big thing, and it can sometimes be a little overwhelming or isolating when you don’t feel those forms of attraction. Especially when two of your best friends have boyfriends. And I’m very happy for them, but sometimes it stings a little knowing that I can never have that. Obviously queer platonic relationships exist, and that’s definitely something that I want for myself in the future, but it’s just different.

My mom watched the first season with me after I wouldn’t shut up about it, and then again when season two came out we watched it together (it was like my third watch through both times lol). Once season three comes out, and we see more of Issac’s arc of self discovery and figuring out his sexuality, I might end up using it as a bit of a starting point to come out to her, but I don’t know. I know that she and my dad are very supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, but it’s just so different and scary. Any advice?

P. S. I did not mean to write this much, if you read this whole post, thank you. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read about my ramblings.