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basilknell · 5 months

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Vasily's Ethnic Background

Howdy! I tend to ramble about history books I read adjacent to Vasily on my private accounts, so I figured I’d accumulate some of the information I read regarding headcanoning Vasily’s ethnic background. This’ll be a big ‘ole post, so I’ll stash it under a read-more for anyone interested.

This isn’t meant to be taken as a concrete ‘Vasily is canonically ethnically x’ post, and as you’ll read none of the options I cover are necessarily concrete as there’s overlap and conjecture to be found in every choice. Nonetheless, this post's biggest purpose is reference for myself, as I rotate what I headcanon him to be often; I’m hoping some others might take an interest in alternate backgrounds for him from this, as I only ever see him portrayed as ethnically Russian.

I’d be happy to provide further reading/direction for certain information covered if wanted, and a special thank you to Rdstrpv for some of the information unavailable in English for me to find! I will also occasionally update this post over time as I read more documents and come across more evidence/contradictions.

Please be aware that much of this can be a sensitive subject, and I have condensed much of this information to be understandable to the average reader which means nuance is lost. This is especially true in regards to the intersection of ethnicity and nationality of Cossacks when relating to Russian and Ukrainian history. I especially suggest further research beyond my simple blog if you have any interest in headcanoning Vasily as a Cossack. I stress it, even. I try my best to tread the history and terms, but a short blog can only touch upon so much.

Russian

To address first and foremost, comes the ethnic background the vast majority of fans (and likely Noda as well) ascribe to Vasily – an ethnic Russian. There’s not much information I need to corroborate regarding why exactly one might find Vasily to be ethnically Russian, and it is the easiest background for him to tread if you wish to play it safe regarding headcanons if you don’t know much about Russian history.

Vasily, given his first name and appearance, has no contradictory elements to him being Russian. s. His first name, Vasily, is one typically only ethnic Russians use, but we'll discuss this further in a bit. He speaks Russian in the show (though non-Russian ethnicities do sometimes speak Russian), he has an appearance typical of an ethnic Russian, and is found to be in an Russian Imperial Army (RIA) uniform – though I’d like to add there was mandatory conscription for most all males in Russia starting in 1874. Regardless of ethnicity, typically most men who resided within the empire could be conscripted into the army. The one time we see Vasily without his shinel (greatcoat), he’s wearing a kosovorotka, a shirt that specifically was worn by ethnic Russians at the time.

(Pictured Vasily’s kosovorotka.)

An argument could be made that another ethnicity would’ve worn a kosovorotka given it being one of the few clothing options when stationed further East, but the more likely assumption is he is simply Russian. After all, Vasily’s birthplace, Yeleninka, was, and still is, in Russia; he never bothers to correct other characters that call him Russian either. Though, this could also be in part that he either could no longer speak at all after being shot, or he didn’t find worth in arguing about it.

But, regarding Vasily’s clothing, there are some major inconsistencies beginning with the fact Noda clearly had little idea about the Russian uniform or military organization in 1907.

To begin with: an ethnic Russian being a border guard was unusual. Not impossible, by any means, but not exactly the norm. Border guards at the time were found to be one of two categories: Cossacks (I will be discussing them later) or a specialized military unit called the Special Border Guard Corps (SBGC). While Cossacks were typical to find as border guards, and oftentimes had their own separate units from ordinary military units, you often could find ethnic Russians in the SBGC, though border protection more often than not belonged to Cossacks in the Far East. You might also find the occasional ethnic Russians serving as a Cossack out East, but again, this will be further discussed below as to what that meant.

Neither Cossacks nor the SBGC wore the uniform Vasily and the other members of his unit are found in. In fact, technically the RIA did not either, as the uniforms of Vasily and his comrades are WWI uniform designs. It's important to note here, however, Sakhalin was not monitored by the SBGC in 1907 as there was a lack of funds, and as such Cossacks almost exclusively guarded that border. An argument can be made, however, that normal RIA members also helped in guarding the border since it had not been long since the Russo-Japanese War had ended. I mention the SBGC and their uniforms as reference for those that might wish to find justification for Vasily being in the corps and on the border somehow.

(Pictured 1909 uniforms of the SBGC.)

While this is a graphic of 1909 SBGC uniforms, they remained largely similar to the years before, and are notable for their green coloration to mark their identification. It’s far harder to pinpoint Vasily’s outfit had he been a Cossack, namely because he could have been in several different uniforms depending on which voisko (AKA a Host – think of these as state/territory distinctions between Cossacks residences) he originated from. To be a Cossack on the Sakhalin border, he could’ve been from a number of different voisko that created the East Siberian District that covered Sakhalin. Simply though, no Cossack uniform matched the uniform Vasily canonically wears either. Nor does in match the uniforms of the RIA at the time.

So what uniform is Vasily found to be wearing, then? His outfit is a generic foot soldier uniform of low-ranking members of the RIA, lacking any tags to denote which unit Vasily prevails from entirely. However, the bulk of the uniform Vasily is found in was introduced in the year 1907 by order of complete uniform overhaul by Tsar Nicholas II, but other elements come from post-1910 reforms seen most typically in use during WWI. Given Vasily being in the Far East, it would be rather unusual for Vasily to wear a newly-issued uniform such as the one he’s found in. How would a soldier presumably on a remote border have such a newly printed uniform (albeit, anachronistic in some aspects such as his Papakha being from a 1910 reform), structured for a separate occupation he does not have? He is on the border as a sniper when he first appears after all, not merely a foot soldier.

All of this culminates into a couple of pieces of important information regarding Noda. (1) He was entirely unaware that the regular military did not cover borders, and instead it was the job of specialized units, Cossacks, and less commonly the SBGC. (2) He intentionally avoided pertinent information on Vasily’s uniform and gave him a generic one from the very year Russian uniforms were massively changed lasting until the Revolution. In fact, Noda had made edits to Vasily’s uniform between the original release of his appearance, and the volume releases, meaning he wasn’t thorough in depicting the Russian soldiers. (3) To culminate most of this, Noda had simply cobbled together information that created Vasily to be versatile for several different headcanons, not just as an ethnic Russian. If Noda had failed so spectacularly regarding Vasily’s uniform, could he also not have made a mistake in Vasily’s kosovorotka? After all, gimnasterka were typically worn under shinel, and while Vasily’s shirt looks more like a kosovorotka than a gimnasterka, Noda simply could’ve drawn the gimnasterka wrong and accidentally created a kosovorotka.

There is a reason why most fans label Vasily as ethnically Russian, aside from general lack of knowledge on the subject, but in that same vein much of the evidence that he is ethnically Russian can be refuted in the same breath. Regardless, it's a simple headcanon to choose above the others if one wished.

Ukrainian

While Vasily’s silence and clothes tell one story about his background, his name itself tells another. Specifically, his surname! ‘Vasily’ is found typically upon Russians and those who want to Russify themselves while 'Vasyl' is the Ukrainian equivalent, but his surname, Pavlichenko, is distinctly Ukrainian and not Russian. His father’s family, at the very least, had to have been of Ukrainian origin, regardless of his birthplace in Yeleninka (which is not located very close to any areas of modern-day Ukraine). It would be up to interpretation if his mother was also Ukrainian, but it does not conflict history to state his family could have moved from the regions of Ukraine (perhaps after serfdom was abolished in 1861) to different areas in search of land. Being leased onto Cossack land to farm in the Orenburg voisko, where Yeleninka was located, was common for laborers and poorer non-Cossack locals. An ethnic Ukrainian being found in Yeleninka is not as outlandish as one might think and is entirely plausible, as a portion of Yeleninka was indeed ethnically Ukrainian (whether this was through forced displacement or general immigration, I am unsure). And, as discussed in the previous section, when assuming how an ethnic Russian was a border guard, the same logic can apply to a Ukrainian simply being in the RIA.

It’s difficult to explain away Vasily’s last name without him being, in part, Ukrainian. But again, part of this information likely comes from Noda’s lack of research into Russian history. Vasily’s last name is taken from a famous sniper, Lyudmila Pavlichenko, just as Vasily’s first name and birthplace are taken from another sniper, Vasily Zaitsev. Despite being ethnically Ukrainian, Lyudmila is often regarded as just a ‘Soviet’ sniper, and thus it's likely Noda assumed she was simply Russian and gave her name to Vasily because of that, unaware that there was a difference between Ukrainian and Russian last names.

Vasily's first name not being the Ukrainian variation of 'Vasyl' could be explained by that stated mixed heritage. However, it was also incredibly common for Ukrainians in the past to go by a Russified name. For example, the famous writer Nikolai Gogol's true name is actually Mykola Hohol. Vasily could very well have chosen to start going by a Russian first name while in the army, or had it changed for him, as it was not uncommon for well-known Ukrainians to have these double names.

If you’re a stickler to the specifics despite Noda’s intention, Vasily’s Ukrainian surname cannot be argued against as easily as many of the ethnic Russian factors for him. Whether that means you’d find Vasily to be exclusively Ukrainian, or a mix, that is up to one’s own headcanon interpretation.

Orenburg Cossack

Cossacks are a very long and convoluted subject in Eastern European history, but I will do my best to explain this as clearly as I can without dredging into too much history. First, and most important to remember, is ‘Cossack’ was not necessarily always a distinct ethnic identity from other ethnicities within the Empire. But it was an ethnic identity to some.

The Cossacks emerged from various ethnic backgrounds. They culminated into one as different groups fled from whatever situation they found themselves in and drew into banditry together. Russians and Ukrainians fleeing serfdom, Poles fleeing the hetmans, those of Turk background, etc., all became a hodgepodge group called ‘Cossacks’ in modern-day Ukraine and parts of Southwestern modern-day Russia. Over time, this group obtained special privileges from Imperial Russia in return for their extensive military service. Cossacks began to develop into an ethnic identity separate from Russians, Ukrainians, and Turks. Their own culture was Slavic mixed with Turkish culture – distinctly blended so they did not identify as one or the other. This was not always the case, and often the further back in history you go, the more often you would find Cossacks who identified with an ethnic identity outside of Cossackhood. You might often hear the term 'Ukrainian Cossack' in reference to Zaporozhian Cossacks because of this, as many of these Cossacks would have identified as being kin to what we now call modern-day Ukrainians rather than having a distinct ethnic Cossack identity. But, later in the empire, certain Cossack groups did distinguish themselves as ethnically different from the Russians, Ukrainians, and other Slavic groups in the area.

However, because of these special privileges given to them by the Russian Empire, a legal definition of a Cossack had to be applied to persons. Due to this, as Cossack voiskos began forming further East into Siberia where the Russian government wanted Cossacks stationed, they would often bestow the title of ‘Cossack’ to people living in certain areas who ethnically had no connection to Cossacks whatsoever. This created situations where those who did not want to be involved in the military were now legally obligated to give military service, and it was now possible to find even ethnically Chinese Cossacks in Eastern voiskos. A Cossack had become both an ethnic identity and a legal title to be bestowed, though the vast majority of Cossacks still remained those of the ethnic background.

To summarize, Cossacks found in Western Imperial Russia often regarded themselves as distinctly different ethnically from other groups (Russians, Ukrainians, Khalmyks), such as with Don, Kuban, and Ural Cossacks. This is often exemplified in Russian Literature (although written by those who are romanticizing the Cossacks) where it is highlighted that Cossacks consider themselves a separate ethnicity from those around them. However in the more Eastern voisko, while it was possible to find Cossacks who believed themselves ethnically Cossack, sometimes being a Cossack was simply a legal title and held no other cultural or ethnic significance.

Now, in regards to Vasily, border guards were often Cossacks in Imperial Russia, as it was one of their duties when not in an active military turn. This immediately gives him claim to potentially being a Cossack, if you choose to headcanon him as a Cossack rather than just in the RIA. But, specifically, Sakhalin was only guarded officially by Cossacks until the succession of the Soviets. Now, as stated above, he was far more likely to consider himself ethnically Cossack (which would explain a Ukrainian last name, but not consider himself Ukrainian due the blended nature of Cossacks) if he was from a voisko further West. But, Sakhalin was one of the Eastern-most points in Russia, and lacked a specific voisko to cover it. Instead, a group called the East Siberian District chose to cover Sakhalin, which was a collection of different voisko. If one was to headcanon Vasily as being a Cossack from any of these Eastern voisko, it’d be much easier to state several things at once: (1) Vasily is legally a Cossack and (2) Vasily considers himself to be ethnically Cossack, Ukrainian, Russian, or whatever else one might choose to headcanon him as. The only background you cannot headcanon such things in conjunction are legally Cossack and ethnically + religiously Jewish for a number of reasons (if a Jew converted, they could indeed be dubbed a Cossack. Antin Krzyzhanovsky is a historical figure notable for doing this).

But, let us backtrack, as there is further evidence to Cossack Vasily beyond his occupation as a border guard. Yeleninka was located in the Orenburg voisko, and those who resided in Yeleninka were legally considered Cossacks. In fact, regardless of headcanon purposes, when following only factual history and no conjecture, Vasily should have been legally a Cossack if he had been born in Yeleninka itself (if born outside the town or if he moved there young, he could’ve been considered a non-Cossack living in the area. Certain ethnicities like Jews and Kalmyks were exempt from the legal title being applied however). I’ve never found specific statistics regarding Yeleninka’s official ethnic makeup, but as for the Orenburg voisko as a whole: when the Orenburg voisko was created, the government supplanted several ethnic Cossacks in the area, but also legally defined some ethnically Russian, Tatar, Mordvin, and Chuvash persons living in the area into Cossacks as well. Thus, one could easily consider Vasily ethnically Cossack, or instead consider him to be one of the other ethnicities listed above while only a Cossack in legal title.

To return back to the discussion about Sakhalin coverage, Yeleninka’s existence in the Orenburg voisko does, in fact, line up with history correctly, though I’m sure Noda was entirely unaware of this. Orenburg was a voisko part of the East Siberian District, and it is entirely plausible Vasily would have been stationed on the border because of that. Though it would have been more likely for a further East voisko to send soldiers to that specific border, but not impossible because Orenburg was part of the District.

Ussuri Cossack

Now, the Ussuri Cossack headcanon hinges upon everything I’ve just said above regarding Orenburg Cossacks. Whether or not Vasily is considered ethnically or legally Cossack matters little, only that he is simply titled an ‘Orenburg Cossack’ at the time of his birth, which he otherwise legally should’ve been if he was born in Yeleninka.

As mentioned, the Ussuri voisko was the voisko found furthest East – and because of that, it was the voisko that supplanted the most Cossacks to Sakhalin. However, there is indeed precedent for an Orenburg Cossack becoming an Ussuri Cossack. While it was notoriously difficult for Cossacks (and peasants in general) to transfer between voisko, starting in the 1890s (after a large famine hit the Orenburg voisko the hardest) the government began supporting Orenburg Cossacks in moving to the Ussuri voisko.

So, in essence, Vasily could have been born in Yeleninka, legally considered a Cossack, and then moved to be raised in the Ussuri voisko as an Ussuri Cossack, allowing for a more probable likeness for him to have been stationed at the Sakhalin border. Because of how devastating the famine was to the Orenburg voisko, movement to the Ussuri voisko was a fairly popular choice for some Cossacks.

Mordvin (Moksha & Erzya) + Chuvash

To get out of the way an important piece of information: I am going to use the term ‘Mordvin’ for ease. However, Mordvin is an umbrella term referring to two distinct, but related, ethnic groups known as the Moksha and Erzya. Think of it like the term ‘Slav’ in reference to Poles and Russians.

Aside from Vasily’s place of birth – Yeleninka – and its place in the Oreburg host, there’s not much other specific evidence towards Vasily being Mordvin. There was a decently large population of Mordvins in the Orenburg voisko, and quite a few of them were also legally deemed Cossacks as well. And, while that is the little info I have (mostly because there is very little information involving Mordvins published in English and even Russian), no other information would contradict him being Mordvin either aside from his Ukrainian last name. But, of course, his last name can always be easily explained away as mixed marriage in the past.

I am adding Chuvash as another ethnic group similar to the Mordvin’s in Fors and Againsts. They had a decent population size in the Orenburg, and some also served as Cossacks. However, unlike the Mordvins which are a Finno-Ugric peoples that had assimilated and intermarried with Russians quite a lot, Chuvash tend to have more of a Central Asian appearance which is a bit of a contrast to Vasily’s canon appearance (blond-brown hair, strong nose bridge, blue hooded eyes).

Turkish

I’ll quickly preface that Vasily being full-blooded Turkish is highly unlikely. But I wanted to at least mention that it wouldn’t be uncommon for him to be a quarter or half Turkish. The reason why is that during the Russo-Turkish War during the 1860s, Cossacks often brough Turkish brides back to Russia with them after the end of the war. Given that Cossacks already have some mix of Turkic culture, they were partial to bringing these women back with them (though I must stress this was not always done morally). Regardless, if one is running with the idea that Vasily is a Cossack, his parents being mixed Turkish or a grandmother of his being fully Turkish is completely plausible.

Jewish

I’m going to attempt this as respectfully as I can, as it would be remiss of me not to entertain the idea of Vasily being Jewish because Jews were a significant population of the Russian Empire. Nonetheless, the facts stack against this headcanon, but I want to lay them out for clarity’s sake as perhaps the info is useful to someone attempting to work with the headcanon. The history of Jews in Russia is quite extensively plotted in academia, and though I’ve read a couple papers and books about it, I could very well be missing important information. Please feel free to correct me.

First and most importantly: Vasily could not have been a Cossack and religiously Jewish. If, perchance, he was only ethnically Jewish but his family kept this information completely hidden or they openly converted to Orthodoxy, then he could’ve been legally defined as a Cossack. But otherwise, Jews were never given the legal title, and even ethnic Jews who had converted to Orthodoxy were still heavily discriminated against by other Cossacks. While I’ve never found a specific law mentioned against legally defining Jews as Cossacks, there are social issues to consider. Cossacks, particularly ethnic ones, were notorious in their violence against Jews. They instigated and typically were the ones who committed pogroms against Jews in the empire and had a long history of using them as scapegoats in political matters. If a Jew was to gain the legal title of ‘Cossack’, there would not have been a particularly peaceful outcome to such a situation. Thus, to be religiously Jewish Vasily must have only been in the Separate Border Guard Corps which did allow Jews.

Next, Vasily’s last name, Pavlichenko, can be explained. While the majority of Jews in Russia had Germanic last names (and ordinarily first names as well), they sometimes took Slavic names, especially if conversion or intermarriage occurred. Given that Pavlichenko is Ukrainian as well, it is actually more favorable than him having a Russian last name – Jews in Russia were majority confined to an area called the Pale. The Pale covered what is now modern day Ukraine, Belarus, Poland, Lithuania, and a bit of Latvia. If he was to have a non-Germanic surname, it was more likely to have originated from one of these areas, such as Ukraine, hence him more likely to have a Ukrainian last name than a Russian one.

Unfortunately, discussion of the Pale leads into a major problem concerning Vasily: Jews were constricted to this area. A handful of Jews could be found in major cities of European Russia if they were artisans or merchants, as they were allowed to legally reside in these cities when given permits*. For example, about 4000 Jews resided in Moscow around 1900. However, this only extended to major cities just outside the Pale. Upon my research into the Orenburg Oblast, a 1897 census survey finds a grand total 4 Jews living in the entirety of the Oblast (special thank you to Rdstrp for providing me the census). Though I will say, upon reading other papers, there is mention of a single Jewish Cheder in Orenburg that supported 20 students. This hints that perhaps there were more Jews living in Orenburg than the official census denotes, but not by much. Of course, as stated with the Cossack background, there are ways around this statistic. Vasily could be ethnically Jewish, but his family hid this fact and became baptized in order to live outside the Pale and major cities.

Finally, if Vasily had been Jewish, it would’ve been strange he didn’t bring this fact up to the Japanese cast. During the Russo-Japanese War, Japan was heavily funded by wealthy American Jews who despised Russia for their strict, antisemitic laws and their recent pogroms. Because of this, Japan was especially favorable towards Jews and during the war would often separate Jewish POWs from the other Russian military POWs, giving them better treatment as if they were guests. To this point, Jews often wanted to stay in Japan because of how well they were treated by the Japanese. I’m unsure exactly how long this favorable view lasted, but it is not remiss to believe as close post-war as Golden Kamuy is, this favorable stance would still hold. Instead of viewing Vasily as an annoying Russian, he very well could’ve used his Jewish background to cement himself a more favorable disposition from the Japanese cast.

*There were some Jews living outside the Pale, but not significant numbers. The Georgian and Central Asian Jews of Iranian background were allowed to reside outside the Pale in their origin areas. There were also some Siberian Jewish communities created by Jews who had been exiled into Siberia, but none of these communities were particularly close to Yeleninka.

End Note

I’ll end this on a note that, with all this information laid out, I only wish to encourage people to choose what they personally feel drawn to for Vasily’s background. While some headcanons have more evidence than others, each has their own difficulties with history in ways, as Noda accidentally contradicted much of the information he applied to Vasily. I hope this encourages more people to do research into the history here – which I think is especially needed if you intend to headcanon Vasily as a Cossack, even if you are headcanoning him to be a ethnically non-Cossack, but legally defined under the title. But a mix of ethnic background is entirely possible for Vasily according to just the factual history, so restricting him to one ethnic identity isn’t needed if one does not wish.

Personally, I often write and draw Vasily as being half Ukrainian half Russian, though in my actual preference I find him to be an ethnic Cossack that was raised in the Ussuri voisko. However, I feel when I present him as a Cossack I want nuance following it, so I’ve never bothered to draw or write him as such beyond a couple sketches.

#golden kamuy #vasily pavlichenko #not art #sorry for the long post ive been waiting to yap about this forever

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k-s-morgan · 3 months

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Hey K, have you seen the controversy around Hugh Dancy’s answers to hannigram-related questions at the Fan expo? Some fans are mad saying he’s a Hannigram denier but I’ve been in this fandom for 11 years now and honestly, reading his answers, he’s still saying the same stuff he always did though? So I’m a bit confused as to why people are angry with his answers?

He always acknowledged they loved each other, that it was a romance, but platonic. Also, I think he’s got a very British sense of humor and is sarcastic and ironic a lot and was never really into discussing hannigram as an openly gay romance, but more so because he is a literal guy in the way he communicates. Tons of Brits are like that. Especially actors, they’re not keen on doing fan service or saying what people like to hear. Mads on the other hand, loves enticing the audience and talking about Hannigram the way they want to hear.

All in all, maybe it’s bc some of these people are new to the fandom, but I literally think that this was just Hugh being Hugh and he gave mostly the same responses as he’s done in the past. It’s a mix of his sense of humor and the tone of the fan expo which is light and not necessarily a proper interview where he’d be more serious and give long answers.

Overall, what do you think?

Hi! Yes, I know a lot of people were unhappy with Hugh's responses - I'm not watching the fandom as closely as I used to, but I'm still keeping an eye on it.

I agree with you in that I heard nothing new. In my opinion, the problem lies in the reputation of 'Hannibal' fandom. We're known as a (mostly) cozy place where the biggest M/M ship is canon and actively supported by cast, writers, and the director. They all said so many wonderful things over the years, things that keep being repeated and are taken as a fandom Bible.

That's why people might still be unpleasantly surprised when they hear Hugh's reserved, distant replies, or Mads' weirdly shallow answers, or Bryan's ideas that are all over the place.

The truth is, ten years separate these people from their work. Hugh in particular hasn't even seen S3 as a complete product, at least from what I lasted heard. Besides, they all have been inconsistent even when the show was airing - Hugh has an interesting habit of saying different things depending on what kind of interview he's giving and who he's with. As an example, in the commentary to S3, he agreed with Bryan that Will was jealous of Bedelia and snapping at her because of it, but then later, he said Will disliked Bedelia for basically being a bad person, with jealousy being unrelated to it.

I'll be the first person to admit that some of Hugh's (and others') answers make no sense or contradict the show, but over the years, I got very used to it, to the point where it doesn't faze me any longer.

Hugh thinks it would take Will 7 season to fall in love with Hannibal, even though 7 seasons haven't been in the plans for over a decade (as Bryan has settled on 5 ages ago), and Will's silence to Bedelia's question and his further choices clearly meant to show he reciprocates? Ok. Hugh things Will's feelings for Hannibal are unrelated to his feelings regarding his own darkness? Fine - at least he acknowledged Will is dark because sometimes there are some denials about it. He thinks Will's decision to betray Jack and Alana and get a bunch of innocent people killed has nothing to do with his love for Hannibal? Lol, but all right.

I don't believe S4 will ever happen. Now, if it's announced, and then I keep hearing the stuff I really don't like, I might get worried, but as it is, I just save the things I agree with and ignore the rest :D The show is over, and we are all invited to come up with our own version of Will and Hannibal's future life. I'm also absolutely certain that we, passionate fans, know the show much, much better than people who were involved in it a decade ago. I mean, if I finished writing a fic 2 years ago, then a reader who just read it will probably know it better than I do at this point. It's natural.

Also, during this reunion, so many wonderful things were said, too. About Hannibal inviting Molly 'for dinner' and Will describing him as a 'therapist' to her, Hannibal urging Will to lose at least a dog or two out of the thousand when they are on the run, Will being annoyed by Hannibal's fussy kitchen habits, etc.

Basically, I don't think we heard anything new or bad. Some answers might have been frustrating, but the good still tops the bad, in my opinion - and the bad isn't all that relevant.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #hugh dancy #boston fan expo

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zukosdualdao · 2 months

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Hey, how are you?

So, seeing your posts in regards to the post-canon comics reminded me of the existence of Kiyi (Zuko and Azula's baby sister that Ursa had after running away). And while I like her addition to the story, I'm also aware that she's almost been written as a "Azula replacement", which is just terrible. So, how can we - the fans - rectify that? How would one write Kiyi in without replacing Azula?

P.S.: Yes, I know that Zuko and Azula don't HAVE to reconcile, but redemption stories are my favorite kind, so I genuinely prefer an ending where the Fire Siblings are side-by-side

hello! i’m doing alright, and i hope you are as well.

unfortunately, i’m not sure i can help you in this regard, as i think we see things fundamentally differently. it’s been a while now since i read the comics, but i don’t feel that kiyi is written as a replacement for azula—azula certainly feels that way, and i actually think that’s one of the more sympathetic things about her, but feeling something doesn’t make it automatically true.

it’s something i have empathy for, actually: i, too, have had to contend with the fact that my feelings of jealousy, abandonment, or replacement may be ‘valid’ in the sense that emotions are not inherently good or bad and we don’t control them—but that doesn’t mean that feeling something actually makes it ‘true’ or justifies harmful actions in response.

i do have plenty of issues with the way ursa’s story in the comics was written (as her face being changed and memory wiped feels contrived and like it was done on the faulty assumption that it was the only sympathetic way to keep her away), but ursa didn’t do anything wrong by having another child. zuko didn’t do anything wrong by discovering he had a half-sister and bonding with her. neither of them makes any unnecessary or inappropriate comparisons between them, and zuko ends the search trying to offer help to azula despite the fact that she has spent the comic manipulating him and attacking him and his friends multiple times, so i don’t think it’s fair to say he’s ‘replaced’ her.

i don’t know what the creators intentions in introducing kiyi specifically were—but if they were to ‘replace’ azula, then i would say i don’t feel that the comics actually reflect that very well. the two biggest things that they have in common are their family members and being firebenders, and neither of those things make kiyi a carbon copy of azula. i guess if i were going to give any advice, it would be to give kiyi her own personality and perspective, as she is a different person. one thing that comes to mind is that she wasn’t raised by ozai, and that, alone, means that she is probably going to see and interact with the world very differently than either zuko or azula do.

#asks #azula #kiyi #zuko #ursa #francisofgotham1

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wwereaderinserts · 2 months

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Can you do a story in the late 2000s when the reader and Randy are a part of the legacy, she won the diva title at at Armageddon then after that he confesses his love with the prompt “you are beautiful, my jaw was on the floor the first time i saw you, just thought you should know that.” And “I been wanting to tell you something for a long time.”

A/N: "A few days while I recharge" I said. And yet here I am with something new the first free day I got lmao I couldn't help myself, straight back to work I guess Title: It's About Time Pairing: Randy Orton x Reader Word Count: 779

“Look, I did it! We have to go out and celebrate with the others tonight!”

You practically skip over to Randy, who has been waiting backstage for you to return after your match. He’d been eagerly watching your match, betting on you equally as much as you’d been betting on yourself before you went out there, and you most definitely delivered with what had been arguably the match of your career tonight.

Beaming from ear to ear, Randy greets you with a proud smirk and open arms when you approach him, and you rest a hand over your new title to keep it sitting snugly on your shoulder while you gladly accept a hug from him.

“Told you you could do it.” he gazes down at you when you take a step back from him, his smirk now gradually dissolving into a softer smile, “I’m proud of you, you deserve it.”

Sincerity oozes from Randy’s words as he’s looking at you, and you break eye contact with him only for a moment to let a giggle escape your lips, allowing yourself to be rightfully overcome with joy now that reality has finally begun to set in.

It was exactly what you’d been hoping to hear from Randy. That he was proud of your victory, that he’s happy for you, that he’d had the utmost faith in you every step of the way. Not that you’ve ever doubted him for a second in that regard, but you definitely won’t deny the chance for some affirmation and reassurance on it.

“Thanks, Randy. You’ve been my biggest fan ever since I’ve known you.”

You grin at him, and he nods and falls silent with a smile that mirrors yours. He mulls over his words in his head for a moment, at war with himself over whether now is the right time, but he comes to the conclusion that now is as good a time as any, especially now that you’re riding a high that you won’t be coming down from anytime soon.

“You know, you’re right about that.” Randy begins, his expression turning solemn, “Why wouldn’t I be? Why wouldn’t anyone be? There’s, uh…I’ve been wanting to tell you something for a long time, (Y/N).”

The smile slowly fades from your lips, and instead you purse them together as you listen to Randy’s every word, intrigued with just where he’s going with this. You remain silent and give him an encouraging nod, urging him to continue.

“You are beautiful. My jaw was on the floor the very first time I saw you. And after I got to actually know you? I knew I was screwed, no turning back from it. I only fell even more, and I think I’m still falling little by little as days go by. I want to be with you, (Y/N).”

You’re dumbfounded as you soak in Randy’s words, the hand holding your title firmly in place on your shoulder now slackening before it slips down to clasp your free hand. Of all the things you were expecting Randy to say, you must admit he’s blindsided you with this one.

How long has he felt like this? The same way as you do?

Your heart hammers in your chest, skipping beats once you eventually process his confession. All this time, you hadn’t made a move for fear of him rejecting you and things becoming awkward as a result, but knowing you could have taken the leap and had an immense payoff because of it? It seems surreal to you.

You don’t realise exactly how long you’ve been keeping Randy waiting in suspense until he briefly waves a hand in front of you to catch your attention, and you blink rapidly as you bring yourself out of your own head and focus your attention back to him.

“So…what do you say? Would you want to give this a fair shot?”

Randy’s eyes are fixed on yours, a glimmer of hope in them as he awaits your answer. He knows he’s put you on the spot with this, but he’s not sure he can wait much longer. Though judging by the look on your face, the way you’re smiling right back at him, he’s absolutely right in thinking he’s getting the reaction he desires from you. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this, Randy.” you giggle and nod, stepping closer towards him and taking one of his hands in your own, “I’ve been wanting to tell you how I feel, and knowing you’ve felt the same way the whole time? Yeah, I’d love to take a chance on you. It’s about time we did.”

#randy orton x reader #wwe oneshot #wwe fic #wwe imagine #randyxreader

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themysteriousauthor18 · 6 months

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Radioapple concept? I'm your biggest fan!

Alastor surveyed the shelf of books. He hummed, unsure of which one to indulge in next. He’d already finished all of Sherlock's books. But he wasn’t privy to any of these other authors. He tilted his head at a passing librarian, “excuse me, miss.” The woman paused, “Would you have a recommendation for a good mystery novel? I can’t seep to find one after Sherlock.”

She smiled, “sure.” She said walking beside him. She reached her hand up trailing her fingers along the spines of the books. “Hmmm…here’s you go,” she said plucking one out from the shelf. “This is one of my favorites at least. But Its a pretty good one.”

“Thank you.”

“Your welcome, let me know if you need anything else.” She said smile before walking away.

Alastor peered at the book in his hand. He turned it over to read the description on the back. He flinched when he felt something tug at the hem of his shirt. He looked down, surprised to find a small blonde-haired girl at his leg. He blinked down at her, “um…hello little one?” He said confused. Where were her parents?

When he spoke something in her eyes seemed to light up. A wide jovial grin spread across her round face. “It is you!” She said loudly. A few other patrons looked in his direction and he smiled nervously in regards to them. “Its you I knew it!”

“Charlie!” A voice came from around the corner soon after. Alastor peered up just in time for a short white man to dart around the corner of a bookshelf. His hair was the same shade of blonde as the girls. Ah, her father. His eyes scanned only briefly before finding her. He walked over quickly, “ah I am so so so so SO sorry!” He said picking up his daughter quickly and holding her in his arms.

“Its quite alright.” Alastor replied, pushing down a small wrinkle in his shirt the girl made.

Before the man could lecture his daughter she was tugging on his shirt now. “Daddy daddy look!” She pointed at Alastor. Nearly tumbling out of her fathers grasp. “It's the man from the radio!” She said gleefully.

Alastor raised his brow, understanding now.

“You can’t just run off like that.” He turned to Alastor, “again I am so sorry. She’s just a big fan of that radio show you do.” He paused, “uh…your the one who does it, right?”

Alastor's eyes smile widened a little, a ping of annoyance growing in his chest at the mans comment. “Why yes,” he reached his hand out. “I’m Alastor, pleasure to meet you little lady.” The small girl grinned with stars in her eyes as she grabbed Alastor’s much larger hand with two of her own and shook it. “And yes I am the host of that famous radio show.”

"I'm your BIGGEST fan!" The little girl declared. With a big grin.

Alastor grinned back. "How sweet." He paused, “I presume you are the girl's father?” He took his hand away even though the girl was still shaking it.

“Ah yes, my name's Lucifer.” He readjusted the girl in his arms so she was sitting on his bicep. “And this is my daughter, Charlie.”

“Hi!” She beamed.

Alastor pondered the name for a moment, “Lucifer hm? Quite an interesting name.”

The man blinked, “oh is it? Yeah I guess it is.” He laughed. “Guess it's not normal to be named after Satan haha.”

“Indeed.” Alastor said quaintly. He glanced at his watch. “Well it was a pleasure to meet you little lady,” He looked at Charlie “and you as well.” He nodded to Lucifer. “But I must really be off now.”

“Bye bye! Come back soon!” Charlie waved at Alastor as he took a step back and waved back. As he walked away he sighed heavily.

Lucifer...he knew that name. The name of the man from the wealthy side of New Orleans. Wouldn't be a bad idea to get in his good graces. He smiled.

#hazbin hotel #reading #fanfiction #writers #lucifer morningstar #alastor #charlie morningstar #radioapple

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illiterateaffairs · 1 year

Text

behind the scenes chapter five | fifty fake dates

masterlist | prev | next

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 6,388

summary: you and jamie face the biggest test of your fake relationship so far; a double date with keeley and roy

a/n: this is once again a bit later than i had hoped to post, but this is my favorite chapter so far so i hope its worth the wait! i cannot wait to hear what you all think, especially in regards to the reader's scenes with roy and keeley :)

Jamie could be a very cocky person, but he could honestly say, in a completely unbiased way that you two were absolutely crushing this fake dating thing.

Not only had your movie premiere hard launch gone incredibly well the other week, you’d had many successful fake dates since. You’d been seen on various breakfast, lunch and dinner dates, as well as on walks together and even outside your flat again. You’d also posted a couple Instagram posts and stories here and there for good measure, slowly ramping up in a way that felt natural to a real relationship.

The public was eating it up. From fans to journalists, everyone thought you were adorable together. Jamie knew for a fact no one in the world suspected this was all for show.

Unfortunately, the pitfall of doing such a good job meant that not only had his coworkers bought the whole ordeal, but demanded to see it up close. And while fooling Roy and Keeley was a major cornerstone of the whole plot, he wasn’t exactly prepared for what Keeley had in store for them.

“A double date?” Jamie squints at her, after she’d cornered him in the locker room at the end of training one evening.

“Yeah, doesn’t that sound like fun!” Keeley nods, “It was actually Roy’s idea.”

“No!” Roy exclaims raspily from where he was sitting in the coaches office. The three of them were conveniently the last ones to leave for the night.

Keeley shakes her head, “You were the one who said you wanted to meet her.” She turns back to Jamie, “And I for one think a night out, just the four of us, would be a perfect way for all of us to get to know each other.”

Jamie hesitates. Again, he knows that’s the whole point of this charade. But he hadn’t been mentally prepared for when the opportunity to show you off actually came.

“I mean, I’m having dinner with her tonight,” he starts out slowly, “There’s no guarantee she’ll be available, you know, her being a hugely popular and successful actress and everything. But I’ll bring it up.”

Keeley smiles, “That’s all I ask!”

Jamie gives her a tight smile, before bidding her and Roy a good night.

Well, this should be fun.

“Hi, sorry I’m late. Filming ran long,” you say hurriedly as you breeze over to the table Jamie is sitting at. Despite there not being any photographers in this dimly lit restaurant, you feel the need to press a kiss onto his cheek, and he doesn’t seem to mind at all.

Jamie shrugs as you slide into the seat across from him, “No worries.”

You sigh, and mutter quietly, “Well, isn’t the point of this whole thing to be seen entering places together?”

“It's fine, really,” he insists. And then with a smirk, “We’ll be seen leaving together and I think that’s a little more important.”

You can’t help but chuckle as you finally catch your breath from rushing in. As you’re collecting yourself, you notice a glass of wine and an otherwise empty table in front of you.

“No menu?” you question.

Jamie shrugs again, this time a little awkwardly, “I went ahead and ordered for you. I figured you were filming late and thought you’d be eager to eat quickly. You like chicken parmesan, right?”

An impressed smile takes over your face, “Wow. As far as fake boyfriends go, you’re pretty good.”

A bashful smile takes over his own face. “I do my best.”

“And let me guess, you got the steak but you’re going to tell Roy you got a salad.”

Jamie quirks an amused eyebrow, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

You’re both equally proud and yet surprised at how quickly you’d become accustomed to each other’s lives and habits. And how natural it felt to fold one another into your own.

Jamie lets you take a healthy sip of wine before taking a deep breath, “Speaking of Roy.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow this time in question.

“Yeah, uh, he and Keeley actually asked me something earlier. They - well, more Keeley - thought it would be fun for us to go on a sort-of double date? I told them I’d ask you, but I didn’t promise them anything. So, if it's not something you’re up for that's totally fine, I can blow them off.”

You bite back a laugh at how quickly and anxiously he’s speaking. You think it's best to cut him off before he passes out. “Jamie,” you reach across the table and take his hand, “I think that sounds fun.”

Jamie squints, “Really? Because we seriously don’t have to.”

“I’m serious! I think it would be fun to meet the people that sent you into a spiral and made you ask to fake date me,” Jamie scoffs but a smile starts breaking through again, “Besides, this deal is a two way street. You’ve done plenty to help boost my rep so far, it's time I return the favor.”

Now Jamie fully smiles, but still asks, “If you’re sure?”

“I’m positive!”

“Alright. Well, since you’re the one that has to pretend to be obsessed with me all night, I think it’s only fair that you get to pick the activity. What do you want to do?”

You mull it over in your end until the perfect idea strikes you.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“I am absolutely shit at bowling.”

From the passenger's seat of Jamie’s car, you let out a cackle. “There’s no way that’s true.”

“There absolutely is.” Jamie frowns beside you, completely unamused.

“Wow, finally something Jamie Tartt isn’t amazing at.”

“You know you haven’t seen me do that much,” he points out.

You hold your hand up and tick things off, “Amazing footballer, amazing fake-boyfriend. What else is there?”

This gets a laugh out of him.

The two of you are currently parked outside a bowling alley that is surprisingly empty for a Saturday evening. Jamie had received a text from Keeley saying she and Roy had arrived a few minutes prior, so now the two of your were mentally preparing for the night ahead.

“You know you could have told me this before and we could have done something else?” you asked after a few moments had passed.

Jamie lets out a deep breath, “But you were so excited about it when you brought it up.”

You chew the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from smiling. “Well, I appreciate that. And I’m sure you’re not as bad as you think.”

“Let me know if you think that when you see me play.”

“Well, I can’t do that unless we actually go inside,” you whisper to him like it's a secret he hadn’t caught onto.

Jamie sighs deeply again.

“Hey,” you reach across the console and squeeze his hand briefly, “Tonight’s gonna be great. We’re gonna play a game, I’m gonna wow your friends, we’re gonna drink a shit ton of beers and have a shit ton of nachos, and have a good time.”

The side of Jamie’s mouth tilts up, “I think my vocabulary is rubbing off on you.”

You chuckle, shoving him lightly, “Come on, let’s get this show on the road already.”

“God, you’re impatient,” Jamie teases, but he’s finally pushing his car door open.

“Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, let's do this!”

If you were being honest, you had googled Roy Kent and Keeley Jones before. However, nothing could prepare you for how intimidating Roy was and how drop-dead gorgeous Keeley was in real life.

You and Jamie approached them hand-in-hand, and took little to no time for you to clock that you were the only people in the establishment. You’re confused about this, but you have to quickly bury any questions when Keeley pulls you into a tight hug.

“Hi, it’s so great to meet you, I’m Keeley!” she greets enthusiastically, before pulling away from you abruptly, “Holy shit, I’m sorry. The last thing you probably want is a random stranger hugging you out of nowhere. I’m sure you’re on edge all the time from the attention you get.”

You can’t help but flush when anyone makes a reference to your level of fame, not one to dwell on it yourself. However, Keeley’s energy is so bubbly and kind, you can’t help but feel comfortable as well as amused at how hard she’s trying.

“No, no, not at all. Hugging is great,” You give her a big smile as reassurance, “Besides, you’re not a random stranger, you’re one of Jamie’s best friends, so you’re automatically already a cool person in my book.”

Keeley matches your smile before turning to Jamie, “Oh, my God, you were right about how nice she is.”

You turn to Jamie as well with a curious look, and he can barely make eye contact with you. “So, now you know Keeley, and that scruffy old-man behind her is Roy.”

You turn to the man in question, and give him a kind smile and small wave, “Hey! I take it you’re probably not going to bear-hug me like your girlfriend, but it’d be funny if you did.”

To everyone’s surprise, Roy cracks a smile at your joke. It’s a small one but it's there. The bearded man gives you an approving nod before the four of you start making your way to your table. As you and Jamie trail behind the other couple, he gives you an impressed smile and you beam back at him.

Once you’re seated, you and Keeley send the boys off to grab bowling shoes and snacks for the group.

“So, am I crazy or is this place extremely vacant for a Saturday night?” you ask the blonde as you type your name into the scoreboard.

Keeley chuckles, “Oh yeah, we actually rented the place out for the next couple of hours.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “Okay. Boujee.”

Keeley shrugs, “We don’t normally do things like that, but Jamie thought you’d prefer a night not being bothered by fans and such.”

Oh.

“While I normally don’t do things like this either, it does sound nice to have a normal night out.”

“It’ll be fun!” Keeley says cheerfully.

“Definitely,” you nod along, feeling warmed by her vibrant personality. “Even more so because apparently Jamie is really bad at bowling.”

Keeley snorts, “Oh, good. I mean, I’m not so great myself and Roy didn’t seem too enthused about this,” at your alarmed look, she quickly continues, “He’s never enthused about anything, don’t take it personally.”

You nod again, still a bit unsure. While you’d seemingly appeased Roy with your joke earlier, you were still anxious to get on his good side for some reason. You were a people pleaser through and through, but especially when the people in question were hard to crack.

You don’t have much time to dwell on your thoughts when Jamie and Roy reappear with beer, nachos, and bowling shoes.

Soon after the game begins. Between the consistent and easy flowing small talk, you bowl first with a respectable 8 pins down for your first go. You were just getting warmed up. Then Keeley takes a turn and manages 5 pins. You try to keep your laughter at bay when Jamie lands his first roll in the gutter, before just barely hitting 2 pins on his second attempt.

“I told you I was shit,” Jamie frowns, plopping down beside you after his turn.

You give him a playful pout, rubbing his arm. “Hey, the night is young, babe. You can still redeem yourself.”

You miss the flush on his cheeks from the pet name, as you and Keeley turn to Roy stepping up to the lane.

“You got this Roy-o!” Keeley claps.

Roy lets out a deep sigh before casually rolling the ball down the lane only to get a strike.

You and Jamie sit up straight in surprise, as Keeley’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.

“I thought you hated bowling?” she exclaims, Roy sitting beside her and taking a gulp of his beer.

“I said I didn’t like it, never said I was bad at it,” he corrects, “Phoebe had like 3 birthdays here.”

“Phoebe’s Roy’s niece,” Keeley says, facing you before you could even ask, “You’d love her.”

You hum in response. You give Roy a friendly yet challenging grin, “Looks like I have stiffer competition than I expected.”

You catch a glimmer of competitiveness in Roy’s eye as you stand up to take your next turn. While you weren’t sure he’d be down for a little competition, he seems intrigued by your retort.

You’re pleased when you score a spare this round. Jamie and Keeley cheer for you, the former planting a celebratory kiss on your cheek when you return. Roy, for his part, looks impressed. It was on.

The game practically flies by after that. You and Roy are pretty evenly matched, taking turns between scoring strikes and fumbling a bit under the pressure. Keeley holds her own as well, but she’s mostly just happy to be there, cheering both you and Roy on. Jamie for his part manages to do better little by little, but he’s certainly no stranger to a gutter-bar or ill-fated split. And while he was resistant at first, he starts laughing along with your groups playful jabs at his expense.

Between rounds, you thoroughly enjoy getting to know Roy and Keeley. Keeley is a bit more forthcoming in conversations, but after a couple beers, Roy loosens up a bit himself and you’re pleased to learn he has a fun sense of humor.

By the end of the game, you manage to one-up Roy Kent by mere single digits. And while he’s graceful in the loss, he can’t help but point out he was a bit rusty.

“Okay, now that you’re warmed up, why don’t we make the next game a little more interesting,” you challenge.

Roy raises one of his thick eyebrows, “Go on.”

“Let’s say the next loser between us picks up the tab for the night?” you suggest.

Roy chuckles, “Big talk from someone with all that Hollywood money.”

“Oh, come on, I’m sure the highest paid coach in the premier league can handle it,” you throw back.

Keeley and Jamie amusedly watch you two like a tennis match.

A mischievous smile makes its way onto Roy’s face, before he extends his hand to you, “It’s a deal.”

You smirk, shaking his hand.

“Alright, if we’re doing this again, I need another beer,” Jamie announces, standing up from the booth.

“Ooh, I’ll come with,” Keeley says, jumping up as well.

“Wait, wait,” you call out, grabbing Jamie’s hand so he turns back around.

“Yeah, love?” Jamie asks, startled by the ease in which the pet name rolls off his own tongue.

“Can you get me some chicken wings, please?” you ask, with the sweetest smile you can muster.

Jamie chuckles, “Of course.”

“Thank you,” you sing-song. He watches your eyes glance over at Roy and Keeley quickly and discreetly, before looking back up at him. Then you blink twice.

Jamie doesn’t hold back the small smile that takes over his face as he leans down to press a chaste kiss on your lips. He forces himself not to linger, so he and Keeley can head to the snack bar.

This leaves you alone with Roy for the first time tonight. You have half a second to worry you’d be sitting in awkward silence before the man himself is speaking up.

“I like you,” he says suddenly.

You sit up in surprise for the second time tonight. Roy didn’t come across as the most transparent person when it came to feelings, and you’re once again sure the alcohol was helping, but it still took you aback.

“Oh?” is all you can manage to say in response.

He nods, sipping on his beverage. “You’re good for Jamie. You treat him well, but you don’t take his shit. He needs that.”

You give him a small smile, touched by his words. You were both relieved you were pulling off the girlfriend thing so well, and also happy that he thought you were making a positive impact on Jamie. Your situation may be temporary - and mostly fake - but it felt good that you were a decent influence in the time you have.

“Thanks, Roy.”

He tilts his beer bottle in your direction, and you raise yours as well.

“You’re also a hell of a bowler, but you are going down this next game.”

You scoff, “You wish, Kent.”

Meanwhile, Keeley is also singing your praises at the concessions stand with Jamie.

“Bravo, Jamie,” Keeley grins, shaking Jamie’s arm with an affectionate squeeze, “Not only is she fucking fit and talented - at acting and bowling nonetheless - she’s so fucking cool. She’s perfect for you.”

Jamie smiles bashfully, but accepts Keeley’s compliments of you. She was right. You were amazing.

“And, I’m so happy you’re happy,” she adds, even more sincerely, “It always seemed like you were going through the motions in your past relationships, before and after me. And during me, I guess.”

Jamie moves to apologize but she shakes her head.

“You don’t need to do that,” she states forcefully, “You’ve grown so much. You deserve all the good things happening in your life. And this,” she nods in the direction you and Roy were sitting, “Is such a good thing.”

Jamie’s smile wobbles a little, “You know I wasn’t just going through the motions with you, right? I really, really cared about you Keeley.”

Keeley instantly sobers as well, nodding aggressively, “I know that.”

“Good.”

“But I can tell this is different,” she insists. “You’re different. She’s different. And like I said, that’s a good thing.”

Jamie nods. Keeley’s words weigh heavily on him. Maybe that was the thing about him and her all along. You could care about a person, but that didn’t make you two the right fit. He considers this thought as he and Keeley carry their food back to the table. You and him were different. But not the different Keeley thought. You were just acting, and you were doing a hell of a good job of it. But that was the point, wasn’t it? Keeley and Roy were believing all of it, just like he wanted. So why doesn’t he feel as relieved as he should?

He buries those thoughts as you excitedly stand up to start the next game. That wasn’t before you happily thank him for the wings with yet another peck on the lips. And with that and more alcohol flowing through his veins, he can hardly remember any of his worries.

After you score another strike right off the bat, instead of returning to your seat you gesture for Jamie to join you in front of the lane.

“What are you gonna do?” he questions, “Wrap your arms around me to show me the right technique?”

“While that would be adorable, no,” you retort with a laugh, “But I can give you some pointers.”

Jamie can barely focus on the tips you’re telling him, because even if you’re not physically showing him how to move, you’re still standing in such close proximity, and whispering to him nonetheless. How was he meant to pay attention? When you’re done with your explanation, you give him another quick kiss, wishing him good luck, before skipping back to the booth.

Whether it was the tutorial or the kiss, he’d never know, but he somehow managed 7 pins that first try, and knocked down 2 more his second go. That was almost a spare. He’d be proud either way, but was even more so when you excitedly cheered for him on his way back to the table.

The second game is just as much of a blur as the first, except this time as the competition and the alcohol levels grow, you and Jamie become much more affectionate. He knows you don’t love PDA, so you keep the kissing to a minimum around Roy and Keeley, but there’s no shortage of hugging and hand holding as you rack up points on the scoreboard. Towards the end of the game, you manage the first Turkey of the night, and Jamie picks you up and spins you around.

Before you know it, everyone’s down to their last shot. The score is so close, with you getting yet another strike at the last moment. Jamie and Keeley finish with respectable scores - Jamie having improved a lot this go - but they’re nowhere near you and Roy.

Roy’s final roll is what makes or breaks the game. If he scores a strike, he wins. But even a spare means you’d win. Everyone watches with baited breath as he steps up to the lane. Its as if the ball rolls in slow motion, but as it hits the pins and you all watch as each and every pin gets knocked down, various exclamations are shouted.

“He must’ve cheated!” is Jamie’s contribution to the yelling, but he and you are both half laughing at the same time.

You, for your part, can’t be too disappointed when you’ve had such a fun night with more than amazing company. You also watch as Keeley gives Roy a sweet, congratulatory kiss, which was the first time they’d done so all night. Your heart pangs in your chest a little, feeling envious for the first time for what another couple had. It’s not something you’ve felt often in your life, but seeing how well the pair complemented each other all night made you long for the same thing with someone one day.

“You put up a good fight,” Roy salutes you, settling back down next to his girlfriend.

You smile, “It was a close game, but I’ll hand it to you.”

You begin to take out your credit card, when Jamie pushes your hand away, already taking out his own wallet.

“I’ve got this,” he says.

You frown, “I don’t remember you being a part of the deal.”

Jamie shrugs, “A lady should never pay on a date, so your bill is now my bill.”

Normally, you’d argue on account of feminism, but you’re feeling a little loopy. Most likely from the beer and not at all from the boy in front of you with that lopsided grin.

After Jamie closes your group’s tab, the four of you change back into your regular shoes and start saying your goodbyes.

“This was so fun!” Keeley smiles, pulling you in for another hug, which you gladly reciprocate, “We should do it again soon.”

“For sure,” you agree, before pulling away and addressing Roy, “I would like a rematch.”

Roy chuckles, “You’re on.” And then he surprises you by giving you a quick hug himself.

With a final goodbye, Roy and Keeley start heading for the exit. Jamie gives you a sly grin once they’re far enough away.

“I’d say we did a good job tonight,” he says.

You nod, “We definitely did. You’re friends love me, and you know what? I love them, too.”

Jamie laughs, “Good.” He gestures his hand to the doors, “Shall we?”

You give Jamie your own secretive grin, “There’s one more thing I have to do before we leave.”

Jamie furrows his brows, “What’s that?”

Your grin only grows, before you grip his hand and pull him towards the far side of the bowling alley that housed a handful of arcade games.

Jamie cackles when you stop in front of one of them.

“The claw machine?”

You only nod, already shoving quarters into the machine, “I was hoping they’d have one of these.”

Jamie shakes his head, watching as you navigate the claw around the machine, “There’s no way you win this. You know these things are rigged, right?”

Before the words are fully out of his mouth, you’re already dropping a bright orange dragon in to the opening before pulling it out of the bottom.

Jamie stares at you with wide eyes, “How the fuck did you do that?”

You shrug, “I’m amazing at arcade games. And I needed a win.”

Jamie laughs again, “I’d say you’re far from a loser. Did you see whose name was at the bottom of the scoreboard?”

You giggle, and then hold out the dragon to him, “Well here. A consolation prize.”

Jamie takes the stuffed toy from your hands, “For me?”

“Of course. I mean, as long as you treat him right and give him a name.”

Jamie studies the dragon’s face for a moment. “Alfred.”

You snort, “Alfred?”

“Alfred the Dragon.” Jamie says, assuredly.

“Well, I love it.”

“Good,” Jamie laughs along with you. “Well, the reservation we had on this place is about to end. People are going to start showing up any second so we should probably go.”

“Wait,” you grab Jamie’s hands again, “It's only, what, 9PM? Let’s go out and do something else.”

“Really?” Jamie asks, both surprised and amused.

“Yeah, why not? I hardly ever get out like this, might as well make the most of it while I have the mental energy,” you say with a laugh. “Come on, you’re the guy who knows all the spots where we can enjoy a drink on the down low right? Any bars like that?”

A smile starts to grow on Jamie’s face again, “Well, there is one.”

“Did you bring me to a karaoke bar?” you question, but there’s an excited grin on your face.

Jamie shrugs from the driver’s seat of his car, relieved he’d stayed sober enough to keep the night going. He feared that wouldn’t last much longer, though.

“Everyone at this place is so pissed they’d never realize they were around a famous actress, even if you wore a shirt that said ‘I was in Study Break’.”

You laugh embarrassedly, rubbing your face. “Of course you’ve seen the sitcom I was in.”

Jamie smiles, “That and Parks and Rec are only two of the greatest comedies of all time.”

“That’s generous,” you say. “If we’re at a karaoke bar, does that mean you’re going to sing?”

Jamie huffs, “Hell no. I would need several drinks for that.”

“I think we can make that happen,” you smirk. “Do you think Alfred will be okay to wait in the car?”

You both turn back to where Jamie had buckled the plush dragon in behind the two of you.

“Does that make us neglectful parents to leave our kid in the car?” he asks.

“Eh, he’ll survive.” You shrug, before the two of you jump out of the car.

You and Jamie immediately camp out at open spots at the bar and order drinks. While much of the beer from earlier had worn off, Jamie could still tell you were feeling lighter, bopping along to the horrible singing from the karaoke performer on the stage in the front of the room. He’s adored getting to see such a playful side of you tonight. He hopes he can start to bring it out of you even when alcohol wasn’t involved.

“I just realized when we conducted our research on each other, I didn’t ask if you had a go to karaoke song,” you ask him after a few minutes of quiet between the two of you.

Jamie thinks for a beat. Not that he’d participated in the activity often, he did have a few go-to’s. “Probably something by The Beatles. Or Britney Spears.”

You cackle, “Those two couldn’t be more different options and yet they’re both so perfect for you.”

Jamie laughs along with you, “What about you?”

“Hmm, I like a good 80’s song. Some Madonna, or Pat Benetar.”

“Those are solid.”

“And this isn't the 80's, but if I can get someone to do a duet with me, The Chain by Fleetwood Mac.”

“That is a bold karaoke song.”

“Sure, but it's so powerful.”

You both sip on your drinks as you keep humming along to the next singer who's doing a rough version of Bennie and the Jets.

“I know another question I didn’t ask you that feels like an oversight,” Jamie says this time, “What is Miss Movie Star’s favorite movie?” Jamie’s immediately intrigued when you become embarrassed by the question. He pokes your stomach gently. “What? Now you’ve got to tell me.”

You answer so softly, he can barely hear you over the music. “When Harry Met Sally.”

Jamie’s mouth is agape, “Excuse me, When Harry Met Sally? The girl who hates romance’s favorite movie is a romantic comedy?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, “I never said I hated romance, I just said some movies set unrealistic expectations.”

“Still!” Jamie exclaims with wide eyes.

“I know, I know. But it’s just so comforting! And Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal are so good together.”

“I mean, yeah.” Jamie agrees, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“But I stand by the fact that most romcoms can be a bit far fetched.”

“Okay, that’s fair. What other movies are your favorites then?”

You once again look afraid to answer, but inevitably do. “13 Going on 30…Notting Hill…”

“Are you kidding me? 13 Going On 30 is the most unrealistic. It's about a girl who goes from a 13 year old to a full grown adult overnight!”

“Yes, but Mark Ruffalo!”

“And Notting Hill is about the biggest actress in the world moving across the world for a random bookstore owner, how is that realistic?”

“Well, I mean I’m pretending to date you!” you retort before thinking through what you’re saying.

Jamie doesn’t dwell on it, “Did you just compare yourself to Julia Roberts?”

You sputter, “Not fully, but that would make you Hugh Grant!”

Jamie gives you a look, “I’m of a little higher rank than a bookstore owner.”

You gesture between the two of you, “So you’re saying the two of us come across as realistic. That’s good, that's what we want.”

Jamie chuckles, as you ground your conversation back in reality. “That’s fair.”

You smile slightly, “And again; I never said I hated romance and stuff. I just wish it was easier to come by like it seems on screen.”

Jamie nods, speaking more softly, “Yeah, me too.”

Before you lose yourself in Jamie’s gaze, you turn the topic on him, “What’s your favorite movie, then? Bend It Like Beckham?”

Jamie snorts, “While that’s a great film, I wouldn’t say it's my favorite.”

“Fair. But if you say another one of my movies, I’ll punch you.”

Your conversation continues just as smoothly as your cocktails go down after that. You bounce between learning more about one another, to mindless conversations about seemingly nothing. You also take many breaks to belt the lyrics to songs you love as more and more drunk patrons lousily perform.

Before you know it, you’re both nearly as drunk as the karaoke singers. Jamie soon realizes though, you’re much more of a lightweight, constantly coming up with random topics.

“I like the way you say Keeley’s name,” you tell him at one point, completely unrelated to the conversation you were having.

Jamie furrows his eyebrows, “Keeley?”

You shove your index finger in his face, “See, like that! Keeley.”

He chuckles at your poor, yet adorable imitation of his accent.

“You’re from where again?” you ask.

“Manchester.”

“So, that’s what? A Manchester-an accent?”

Jamie laughs again, “Mancunian.”

“Mancunian,” you slur, making yourself laugh this time. “I like it.”

“Do you like the way I say your name?” Jamie asks teasingly.

You bob your head up and down, “I like the way you say everything.”

Jamie didn’t expect that answer. Even in his inebriated state, he feels his stomach flip.

It’s around midnight that Jamie realizes that even under the influence, you were still a sneaky one. You’re laughing through a story about you and your friend Katie, when the MC calls Jamie’s name out as the next singer. Jamie looks towards the stage in confusion, before it dawns on him. His suspicions are confirmed when he sees the cheeky grin plastered across your face.

“How did you- when did you??” he stutters.

“When I said I had to go to the bathroom like 20 minutes ago,” you hiccup.

Jamie shakes his head, “I can’t go up there.”

“Sure you can!” you exclaim, attempting to push him off the barstool, although you’re doing a pretty pathetic job of it.

As the MC repeats his name, some people around you clock that he’s The Jamie Tartt and start chanting for him.

He gives you a look, “So much for staying under the radar.”

In your state, you don’t even seem to care, instead joining the crowd, “Jamie. Jamie. Jamie.”

He truly believes if he were a little less drunk, he would have resisted harder. But what was Jamie Tartt if not a crowd pleaser?

He eventually makes his way to the stage, receiving a louder than normal applause from the bar crowd. He reminds himself that even if they’re aware of who he is now, they certainly won't remember this tomorrow. As he pulls the microphone off the stand, he realizes he doesn’t know what song he’s singing, until the unmistakable first beats of Toxic by Britney Spears play through the speakers. He locks eyes with you immediately back by the bar, and you have a shit eating grin still plastered on your face. He can’t help but smile back.

At this point Jamie’s inevitably given into the absurdity of the night, and unashamedly gives a full fledged performance. The bar goes wild, but he’s only really aware of you. He somehow hears your cheers above the roar of the crowd, and is egged on by your amusement. Under normal circumstances, he may be embarrassed by how seriously he was taking this, but he’s surrendered to the simple fact that if it made you happy, he didn’t care how ridiculous he looked.

By the time he’s reached the final chorus of the song, you were up from your seat and the whole bar was singing along. Everyone cheers even louder when he’s done, and he gives them an over dramatic bow. As he bounds back down the stage, the people he passes offer high fives and tell him they’re huge fans. He even hears a few people breakout into his football chant.

“Wow, you were so good!” you tell him genuinely, putting each one of your hands on his shoulders, “Football better watch out, cause you could have a real career as a singer.”

Jamie rolls his eyes with a laugh, “Sure I do.”

You laugh along with him, “Either way, now that I know you kill at karaoke, we definitely have to come back.”

“Alright, alright, but next time you’re singing with me.”

“As long as its Fleetwood Mac, I’m down.”

The two of you don’t last much longer after that. As soon as Jamie can tell you’re starting to grow tired, he announces you should call it a night. He calls a car this time though, planning to pick up his car the following day when he was much more sober. You beg him to take Alfred the Dragon, though, stating sincerely that you’d cry if he was left in the car alone all night long. He immediately hates the idea of you crying and hurriedly unlocked the car to retrieve the stuffed animal.

When the car pulls up to your flat, he tells the driver he’d be a few minutes while he walked you to the door.

Jamie amusedly watches you very carefully walk up the concrete stairs. Despite not feeling quite that steady himself, he still follows closely behind in case you trip.

You stumble a little when you reach the top and Jamie gently takes hold of your arms, the two of you unable to keep from giggling.

“Well, this is me!” you announce, standing up straight in his arms.

“You don’t say?” Jamie jokes.

“You can stay here, you know,” you say, “The couch is pretty comfortable. I fell right to sleep at the end of Ratatouille the other night.”

“You were watching Ratatouille?” he asks incredulously.

“Ratatouille,” you mimic his accent again, pinching one of his cheeks lightly, “I fucking love your accent.”

Jamie laughs, a little less amused this time with you in such close proximity, “Well, thank you.”

You nod to the door, “So, you wanna stay? I bet people would go crazy if they heard about you leaving my place tomorrow morning.”

Jamie huffs. He considers it. He does. He’s exhausted, and he’d also love more time with you. And you’re right, this would be good for the ruse. But even as the alcohol slowly wears off of both of you, he thinks maybe tonight isn’t the best time

“Maybe another night,” he eventually responds softly. He nods behind him, “I can’t keep the driver waiting much longer.”

You pout playfully but nod, “Okayyy. I’ll talk to you tomorrow though?”

He nods back, “Of course.” A beat passes, “Thank you again for coming out tonight. With Keeley and Roy. Meant a lot.”

You smile at him brightly, “Anytime. Like you said, we’re a team.” Then you slide out of his arms that he’s long forgotten were even wound around you. “Good night, boyfriend.” you say dramatically, before turning to the door.

He smiles wistfully at the back of your head, “Good night, girlfriend.”

Just as you manage to get your door unlocked, you abruptly turn back around to face him. Before he can question anything, you’re gripping his shoulders and pulling him in for a quick, albeit sloppy kiss - and not on the cheek, but the lips.

Jamie can hardly process what is happening before you pull away from him. He looks at you curiously as you give him a coy smile and whisper, “Google Earth.”

Jamie breathes out a surprised and shaky laugh, “Always taking pics.”

You giggle with him, before once again going back to your front door. You wish him another good night, before entering your flat and shutting the door.

Jamie shakes his head. You definitely wouldn’t remember much of the last couple hours of your night. Part of him wishes he could forget some of it, too. That would make things a lot simpler.

a/n: it's a race to the who falls first finish line! who do we think will admit to it first? also two notes- 1) criminal that jamie wasn't on the team when they went to karaoke in season 1, 2) idk enough about bowling scores to make this completely accurate, so work with me on this haha

taglist: @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @royalestrellas @torpedo--belly @skewedcherries @littlemisssunshine192 @hopefulromances @breakmyheartlater @ohpuckyeah @alipap3 @meg-ro @rexorangecouny @pythagothug @bonesbonesetc @xxenia14 @rockchickrebel @thatonedogwithablog @percysaidnever @msjb2002 @loveforaugust @dicgohargreeves @whimsical-roasting @tortilla-maria1 @rubyliquor @taytaylala12 @kno-way-home @gcidrvsh @lightninginab0ttle @beekprsdaughter it wouldn’t let me tag the last couple of you, but i will keep trying <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x female reader #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt x f!reader #mine #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #behind the scenes series

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thowawayuntilfurthernotice · 7 months

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“Critical Role is just a DnD podcast and the cast are Z-List celebrities. You shouldn’t expect them to comment on what is happening in Palestine.”

They why do they have their own non profit org that is dedicated to humanitarian causes?

And are we seriously gonna sit here and pretend like they weren’t one of the first groups to put out a public statement regarding the Russian invasion of Ukraine?

The fact that it took them four months to donate to any Pro Palestine charities honestly makes my blood boil.

It shouldn’t have taken them that long, all they had to do was voice their support for a ceasefire and their fans would have done whatever they could to help push for a ceasefire.

I’m not expecting them to fix the issue overnight, but they have one of the biggest platforms imaginable and they couldn’t be assed to do the bare minimum.

Meanwhile, voice actors who have much smaller platforms are organizing Pro Palestine rallies and using their social medias to speak out. Even though they know they’re most likely going to get blacklisted by the industry by doing so.

Like I said when I discussed Mercer’s video, I am happy that he contacted his reps and asked them to push for a ceasefire, but waiting five months to put out a statement is a pretty bad look.

Yes, the CR crew gets a lot of unwarranted hate, but for a group that built a brand around the importance of social justice, their handling of the current situation in Palestine has been downright abysmal.

#Palestine #Free Palestine #Gaza #Gaza Strip #Matthew Mercer #Critical Role

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philshotcocoa · 2 months

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So I was rewatching the second pizza phukbang and the whole bit about how ii (Interactive Introverts) was suppose to be the end of Dan and Phil always gets me thinking.

It makes me think about how much Dnp’s comeback has set off a sort of butterfly effect in my life, and how many things I wouldn’t have realized/not done just within these past couple of months, had they not unhiatus-ed (if thats even a word).

So I was thinking this could be a sort of sharing moment :D! I want to know how the comeback of the gaming channel has affected you! (I’ll share a little down below), but pop into my inbox/or reblog/ and share as much or as little as you’d like!

A few examples can be:

-What are some new memories that you’ve made?

-Have you made new phannie friends (online/or IRL)??

-Have your non-phannie family members/friends had to endure long rants regarding Dnp? (Just when they thought they were in the clear for five years….) (I know one of my friends was a victim of my “lore rants” during the release of all the clues for the tour).

-Has the fan-person within you come back full force?

-Have some opportunities come up for you that wouldn’t have happened otherwise?

-If you’re a new post-hiatus fan, how have you interacted with the community? Have Dan and Phil become a new fixation that you wouldn’t have found without the comeback?

(And literally anything else you’d want to share, as long as its safe for me to respond to ^_^)

Feel free to reblog if you want to share this around and get people in your own inbox/asks🤍🤍!

For me, the gaming channel comeback has honesty allowed me to move past internalized homophobia/other things I was hiding from myself. Rediscovering Dan and Phils story and seeing them be so happy being their authentic selves made me rethink the way I was treating myself. Especially because I hadn’t realized how similar me and Dans journeys were regarding queerness. It made me not feel so alone! And now with my Tumblr I’ve found so many more people and it makes me sappy to think about it too hard 😭.

I’ve also genuinely reverted back to the interests and mindset that made me so happy back before the hiatus. In the last five years I was bullied heavily for being one of those “weird kids” and I eventually caved in and hid any and all of my interests. I tried desperately to run away from what made me happy in order to appease those around me. When I found Dan and Phil again, something in my mind set off. Letting go of that old mindset and reverting back to interacting with the content that actually made ME happy has been the biggest thing i’ve realized. Dan and Phil have reminded me that I need to embrace that nerd part of myself, otherwise its not really me.

(Yes, its all sort of cheesy, but its true)

So those two along with a lot more positivity thats come into my life solely from these last few months has been absolutely lovely. My life was honestly saved and to think of all the butterfly effects boggles my mind @_@ !

Thanks for reading if you made it this far.

I’m sending good vibes 〰️ !

#please forgive me for any typos 😭#you can also just reblog this and share i dont want to inbox pressure people #dan and phil #dan howell #i also carry my fully tabbed paperback copy of Ywgttt EVERYWHERE #terrible influence tour #dan and phil games #phil lester #to think about where i’d be without Dnp right now spooks me to my core #izzy yaps #like a lot

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daeneryseastar · 3 months

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hotd episode three thoughts:

episode was titled ‘the burning mill’ for the battle of the burning mill and we only get to see the aftermath. no black aly, no bloody ben, just pain and suffering.

“i can’t fault him for upkeeping his oath.” is such a lame excuse, since he tried to kill her last episode, they could’ve just had her say she wants to honor erryk and his sacrifice by allowing him to have peace with the brother he still loved despite everything.

i went from ‘i still kind of care about you even though i’m not a big fan of the changes’ in regard to rhaenys to full on dislike. good job condal!! “maybe you can talk peace with alicent (she has proven time and time again her demon spawn will not listen to her) 😜 luke taking aemond’s eye started the war (a 7 year old defending his brother 6 years ago caused the war, sure jan) 🤪 im gonna imply you being practical about the war’s inevitably will cause me to stop supporting you 😋 just in a silly goofy mood 😛😛”

i liked mysaria and rhaenyra’s conversation, and appreciate the setting up for addam claiming seasmoke.

gwayne fucking hightower had more speaking lines than jace. glad to see he pissed his pants when confronted with moondancer however.

baela>>> arguably best part of the episode. dany’s theme playing over her and moondancer’s entrance is reaffirming my fancast <3

corlys whining about joffrey only being six and knowing nothing of the sea is honestly hilarious since that’s how most heirs start off as? also not surprised he doesn’t consider rhaena good enough to be his heir when he’s proven time and time again he’ll only support women in power if it benefits him. can’t wait to watch greencels bend over backwards and claim this is rhaenyra’s fault once again !

actually the way rhaena was treated this episode is just major ick vibes. the writers have this obsession with making every non-dragon rider targ a liability to their family? which makes no sense at all, but they couldn’t even include one line of rhaenyra saying she was sending rhaena to the vale for her safety to? i’m glad she told her upfront she was entrusting the future of their house to her (an omen for morning? i’m not holding my breath) but still.

you mean to tell me aemond’s biggest adversary in life wasn’t his toddler nephews??? but instead his big brother??? who has no redeeming qualities and proves he’s willing to hurt him to feed his own ego??? shocked, i tell you. absolutely shocked. ‘true brotherhood’ defenders are going to lose their shit when aemond attempts to kill aegon next episode (apparently twice? for once i’ll be on his side i guess).

the showrunners brought dyana back just to have her serve the man who raped her and be sexually assaulted again, what a feminist take!

had to see a dude get sucked down in the same scene. now i need luke to take my eye(s) out too.

i did NOT need to see aemond’s dingaling what the fuck

baelon’s… bastard… son? the same baelon who was head over heels in love with alyssa? the same baelon who never took another wife nor even looked at another woman after her death? the same baelon who’s sister couldn’t even convince him to take her to wife? vaegon having a bastard would be more believable.

helaena apparently doesn’t give a shit about jaehaerys! more absolute bangers from the writing department. instead of going mad over this loss and deliberately throwing herself out her window she’s going to see a really pretty butterfly that she must have and accidentally tumble over the balcony.

rhaenys praising jaehaerys is so fucked, he’s the reason you’re not queen right now, and he laid the groundwork for the greens to have any claim at all EAT MY ASS

why is alys american.

daemon’s harrenhal arc seems very interesting -so far- it was great to milly’s rhaenyra again (also am i the only one that thought she was holding a baby, jace or a hypothetical ‘what if daemon married her to begin with’ and not sewing up jae’s head) also “you will die in this place” is peak foreshadowing honestly.

alicent continues to pull the ‘i didn’t think the leopards would eat MY face!!!’ “i have perhaps been unkind but never dishonest” copium much??? you deliberately made rhaenyra and her kids life’s a living hell bc she managed to find happiness in her situation and you couldn’t stand that.

that sept scene was dumb as shit but at least rhaenyra has exhausted every single option possible for no war and her antis can shove it and be reminded that she’s the only monarch that gave a shit about the destruction about to happen. ‘team neutral’ team fucking idiot more like.

episode is rated 2/10 for baela, rhaena, jace/joff/aegon/viserys crumbs, and house blackwood mention.

#house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #rhaenyra targaryen #team black #anti team green #my thoughts are all jumbled together THAT’S how bad the episode was #ignore any grammatical spellings pls this was just a rant 😭

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cow-rants · 4 months

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Fair warning: this post is in regards to the recent Assassin’s Creed: Shadows trailer. I will talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding race. Thank you.

I’ve been a massive fan of Assassin’s creed (AC) since I first saw my uncle playing it at 7 or 8 years old. I’m a massive history buff and the idea of being able to experience the past through the eyes of an ancestor is such a brilliant idea. Not mention the concept of a secret war being fought through out the centuries is always fun. But as of late, I haven’t been really excited for a new entry. Odyssey was the last game I really played and it was alright, but I’m personally not a huge fan of the new RPG mechanics (although I do understand why they were implemented).

Valhalla looked interesting, but didn’t really feel like an AC game to me. So I put it on my “to play later” list. Mirage looked far better and I definitely do want to play it, but I honestly just haven’t felt a super big pull to pick it up. But when I saw that AC was finally going to Japan, I was ecstatic. I adore Japanese history in general and the Sengoku period is full of interesting conflicts and characters that would fit perfectly with the assassin’s and the templars.

Although they went with some pretty standard people to showcase, such as Oda Nobunaga, I still think they have a chance to do something really interesting story wise (of course, reserve all real judgement for the gameplay reveal. But I’m mainly just talking about the story). Especially with the portrayal of Yasuke. From what I could tell, it seems like his story will be one of disillusionment, possibly betrayal, and redemption. Certainly a story we’ve seen before, but it’s still interesting to see Yasuke in something as big as AC.

Before I get into the more unfortunate discourse regarding Yasuke, I absolutely have to talk about Naoe. See, what caught my eye about her was how she and my OWN AC OC have very similar stories. Well, I don’t know for sure. But they certainly share a similar experience, which is watching their families be butchered by Oda Nobunaga’s armies. It’s not much, but by the gods does it make me pretty happy. My OC’s name is Minori Kishimoto and she’s one of my favorites, so seeing a canon character with some similar traits is kind of exciting for me (okay, very exciting).

Anyhow, back to Yasuke. As soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I was going to see people saying something stupid. So I checked both the comments on the video and twitter. And I was certainly not mistaken. So so so many bad takes and ridiculous arguments that, honestly, only go to show either mild racism or straight up hatred toward African people. Not to mention the fact that they completely ignore Naoe as a protagonist. I guess she must be the greatest assassin of all time.

From what I understand, a lot of people are upset that for a Japan centered AC game, there is a black protagonist. Which, again, ignores Naoe entirely. The biggest argument I have heared against Yasuke being one of the protagonists is that he wasn’t actually a samurai. To which I say: False. Incorrect. Mistaken. Wrong. Factually incorrect.

The primary issue here is the fact that many people refer to him as a retainer. A title that he never officially held, as far as I’m aware, but even so that still makes him Samurai! Looking just at the facts of his life, he was respected by arguably the most powerful Daimyo of that time, earned his trust, received a pension, received a sword, and received property. So then the question becomes: what exactly makes a person a samurai at this time? Because I can tell you one thing, it isn’t noble blood.

A peasant man was once hired by Nobunaga to do a multitude of tasks, one of which was to hold his sandals. This man would soon prove himself to be capable of all of his tasks as well as in the art of war. He would become a powerful man and rise through the ranks until he held the rank of Taiko at the end of his life . That man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

If Hideyoshi’s story proves one thing, it’s that at this time anyone could rise to become a daimyo. So then, why wouldn’t Yasuke also be considered a samurai? We’re not even trying to claim he was a daimyo, just that he was a samurai. Retainer, bodyguard, slave, whatever. The fact is that the man was 10000% a samurai and was a respected one at that. To claim otherwise is to prove yourself ignorant in the history you claim to be proficient in, and incompetent at backing up your argument.

Not to mention that from a writing point of view, it’s a brilliant move. Yasuke was not super well recorded and thus is relatively unknown to others. Which makes him perfect for being a:

1. Fish out of water character

2. Real person, that can be treated written like a fictional one

All of this to say, I think that this newest Assassin’s Creed has a chance to become one of my personal favorites. As well as putting the series back on the map for many. But, with no gameplay and an already worrying pre-order package, I’m worried to say the least. Only time will tell, but I look forward to it.

#assassin's creed #assassin’s creed shadows #video games #ac yasuke #AC Naoe #rant post

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franki-lew-yo · 2 months

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ALL my feelings towards Friendship is Magic could be so easily summed up as:

" -Twilight Sparkle should never have become an alicorn princess in season 3 of a series with 9 seasons - ''

She should have always had it in the books to eventually become an alicorn, but her becoming one in season 3 is where literally all (my own) problems with the show stem from and almost all of those problems are about the show in execution, NOT in theory.

Everything about later seasons Friendship is Magic’s writing reeks of the writers trying to make their ideas, fan ideas, and Hasbro’s ideas work all at the same time with so little time. They were told to make Equestria Girls, Princess Twilight, Flurry Heart and the movie “work” while also juggling writing in Starlight and her whole arc (and the characters attached, like Sunburst), the CMC getting their cutie marks, the reformed changelings, griffons and dragons, their Starswirl the Bearded stuff; WHILE ALSO making sure Discord and the Princesses (mostly Luna) and the ‘fan fav’ characters worked on their own and come together.

In my opinion, it just didn’t.

There was always too much going on with little to no time to breathe or appreciate the characters -how far they’ve come, how much further they have to go- at all. And it made later bit of lore and characters feel frustrating. It made potentially great characters deeply unlikable. Starlight and Discord are the biggest victims.

I want to like them. I really do. I can’t though because Starlight is not only a ‘madeawittlemistake’(aka ran a cult)-villain redemption, BUT she has to share her stories with the main six. They underdeveloped her while also trying to make her important and it just made me dislike Starlight and Twilight so much. It made me get mad at Starlight for being in the way of a Twilight episode, it made me wanna scream at Twilight for getting in the way of what should be Starlight’s time to shine!

Discord now had to share his ‘redeemed baddie’ spotlight with Starlight and others meant he had no time for his development which, when it was done* (ALL of Season 4) was abysmally fast, badly paced and in my view insulting. It made Discord, even in episodes where he had a point to be there, feel useless because fundamentally was overall. Season 4 assassinated Discord’s character to me and I didn’t remotely like him. For years I thought I just didn’t like FiM simply because the show and the fandom clearly preferred Fluttercord to Dislestia and I was just butthurt. Which, to be clear, I am. My mega revelation regarding this show was realizing that, no- what I hated wasn’t Fluttercord, it was Discord himself. How he was being handled, how he was written from s4 onward (ALL THE EPISODES WHERE HE’S YANDRE TO FLUTTERSHY SHOULD HAVE BEEN BEFORE HIS BETRAYAL. ALL OF THEM. NO YOU WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND IT’S FINAL) pissed me off so much as a person who really loved his potential character in season 2 and 3. Discord and Fluttershy being besties and possibly more could and should have been adorable...but it wasn't because the Discord we got was a horrid character. Fluttershy deserves better.

I know you guys don’t wanna hear this same old worn-out critique about FiM, but I’m sorry I have to agree: when they weren’t being crowbarred into stuff that didn’t need their stories, Starlight and Discord were both forgiven -by the show- WAAY too soon. The problem wasn’t that they had redemption arcs and/or that other characters didn’t. The problem was their redemptions were badly done. The show didn’t treat them like they had been redeemed from something hurtful, it acted like they had never done anything wrong. And that was bad because it made it so, when the three baddies at the end of the series were officially crowned "irredeemable", the show felt biased. It felt mean spirited towards Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy when their end should have actually felt fitting and funny. It’s not about ‘morals’ or ‘punishing’ fictional cartoon horses voiced by John DeLancie for warcrimes or whatever tf Lily Orchard goes on about-- it’s about how the show FELT LIKE IT FAVORED some characters more than others. That was a thing that I loved Friendship is Magic for not doing in seasons 1-3, what made it and it’s character’s endearing and wholesome to me, and it’s why the handling of the main cast in later seasons felt so mean.

But to get back to the alicorn in the room; Twilight could have graduated or something for season 3 and then the whole show could build up to her actually outdoing Starswirl’s wrongs as she does in the pony of shadows plot. THAT could have been her ‘upgraded to alicorn princess moment’; but it didn’t. As much as I wish it were that way, it isn’t and that’s not what the writer’s did because they didn’t have the time or foresight for that. Sadly, even though lots of flaws and problems were always baked into the loaf from the start (Celestia being useless or 'sinister', ponies being racist towards everything else, bad and/or basic friendship lessons) Twilight becoming an alicorn princess, which DID ultimately change her character, her role and her presence even amongst her friends and the rest of Ponyville, was the start of all the problems.

We’re stuck with what we got and what we got was a series that -to me- only ever kept adding more and MORE until it felt overstuffed, hectic, and unfortunately mean spirited when it wasn’t trying to be. There’s nothing we can do now. Personally, I highkey am annoyed at other adult bronies saying I “didn’t get” the show and its decisions which is why I didn’t like it. No. Trust me I get “it”; the problem is that “it” wasn’t well done which is why I didn’t like “it”. “It” deserved better.

Of course, I also get some of why those bronies are so defensive. After all I was there when the whole 'Twilight becoming a Princess'-controversy happened. I remember how ugly it got and how annoying and entitled you guys were about it and Equestria Girls' existence (don't even get me started on ur #savederpy).

Something I want to make especially clear whenever I criticize writers, especially of kids shows, is that a criticism IS NOT an attack. Ever. Boycotts and callouts should be reserved for stuff that's actually morally wrong and yes they also count for stuff I like, not just stuff I want to be mad at. Lookin at you, Didney.

There was never and still is never a reason to bother, hurt or ask the writers for MLP gen 4 why they did what they did. No, not even if you're being 'friendly' about it. Leave M.A. Larson alone.

Granted, fans being entitled to creator's attention and creator's being entitled to fans' affection is it's own rabbit hole, but I truly think that FiM set an ugly standard for that with animated shows today.

Besides still being too thin skinned and not liking that a thing they've divested so much real life time into could be bad, a thing about cartoon commentary and criticism in the 2010s-2020s is they're really parasocial and demanding of writers and artists behind a show. The was always the biggest, ugliest, most uncomfortable aspect of Friendship is Magic to me: because it's creators were online and fans knew they were listening, could approve of fan's creations, and especially because they felt 'responsible' for a show's success, they were really into @ing writers about everything. When critics would call something out for being badly written it somehow always made it's way into becoming a personal accusatory thing. People were blaming writers for being human and working within time constraints and network decisions. You didn't have to be like that TinyToons guy who stalked Tress MacNeille about sexualizing Fifi in the 90s to be a harasser. You could just be an aggressively oversupporting 'stan' or angry nitpicking critic to make a writer who's just doing their job, uncomfortable

tl;dr: I disliked the writing of the later Friendship is Magic. I think it was bad because it was bad. None of that is meant as an attack on the writers who were trying their best and don't need to be roped into any fandom nonsense, positive or negative, and never should have been in the first place.

Hopefully, that's one deadhorse finally beaten.

#franki's features #rants #fan rant #alicorns #mlp critical #my little pony critical #critical fandom #fandom critical #fandom criticism #Discord #starlight glimmer #brony #brony fandom

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unhappy-day-in-hell · 8 months

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The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 1

Hazbin Hotel is finally coming out and I want to talk about it!

Seems unreal, doesn’t it!? After four years it’s here, and it’s one of the biggest train wrecks I've ever seen with my own two eyes!

Like many people, I used to be a fan. I got into Hazbin at the end of 2021, and stayed with it until mid-2023, when I woke up to the series’ flaws and saw how horrible Vivziepop was as a person. But for that time, Hazbin gave me something to look forward to during a dark time in my life. I was excited for it. I liked the idea it would be a complex, dark, and nuanced look into some dark topics. I was convinced Angel’s trauma would be handled with care, because Addict handled it with care. I was convinced Hazbin would be a show that said “no one is beyond becoming a better person if they just make the decision to try, no matter how much bad they’ve done.” Being set in Hell, where the UNIVERSE ITSELF has given up on the souls damned there (the furthest extreme you can possibly get to), was a good way to exaggerate this conflict.

Spoilers: It wasn’t that! Apparently it was never meant to be that in the first place!

Vivziepop threw out the original premise that everyone loved in favor of a Heaven war! She ripped off the “Rose Quartz = Pink Diamond” reveal with Rosie-Lilith-Eve. By extension, they de-clawed Alastor by making him Rosie’s pawn. (I loved Alastor. I wanted to see more of his deranged self; I wanted to see what he would do when he was proven wrong when redemption was possible.)

When I watched Episode One, I started writing my thoughts down. Then I tripped and wrote 13,000 words.

So I’m gonna post them here as a review! It’s long, so I’m going to break it into four parts.

I can be very forgiving of flawed projects, but in regards to Hazbin, I’m petty. No nitpick is too small. I will compare it to the pilot (because it’s in that Viv-canon-limbo where you need to have seen it but she pretends it’s not canon), and I’ll have tangents and rewrite ideas.

The story-crafting for this show is one of the more important elements to me, so I give a lot of attention to that.

And there will be SPOILERS, including all leaks! So just be careful if you don’t want spoilers or leaks!

Let’s go!

Part 1: //

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

--Hazbin Hotel opens with a huge exposition dump about the supposed creation of Hell.

And IMMEDIATELY, we’ve run into a problem.

Sometimes, stories will open with lore dumps like this. They can be useful in giving the audience important knowledge, or setting the stage for the world. However, this lore dump provides us with neither of those things.

Even for people who aren’t religious (me), the story of Eden is really well known (even just the pop culture version of it.) That means you don’t need to tell us the creation story at this moment-- What we NEED right now is to understand what this version of Hell is like.

What info do we need in order to understand the setting of Hell that Charlie lives in?

Important stuff like this: Hell functions like a big city with laws, and isn’t like the pop-culture fire and brimstone image we might have; dead sinners manifest with new bodies and are exclusively in the Pride Ring, which makes them the property of Lucifer, and they’re immortal unless killed by angels; angels come down once a year to erase them to keep them from becoming too numerous. Emphasize that it’s like a shitty country, with shitty jobs and leaders, Lucifer at the tippy-top. Emphasize the Sinners’ fear of the annual exterminations -- emphasize that Charlie feels helpless but wants to save them.

Your job as a storyteller is to tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it.

Right now, we don’t need to know why Hell was created – we need to know how Hell WORKS in the present. That’s your goal, to bring us into the world.

The only necessary information this narration gives us is that “exterminations exist." Everything else about the deeper lore can be shown to us later, after we’ve had some time to get to know the world.

(Have this be a fairytale Charlie tells during an emotional, quiet moment; or in a flashback, Lilith tells this to a baby Charlie. Or it can be a musical number Lilith or Lucifer sings for her, trying to make themselves look better than they actually were.)

--“Angels are beings made of pure light who worshipped good and shielded all from evil.” WE’RE FIVE SECONDS INTO THIS AND ALREADY WE HAVE A HUGE THING TO UNPACK. Buckle up.

So Hazbin's lore goes like this: the Angels already exist, and they worship a vague figure of “Good” (who isn’t God), and defend people from “Evil” (who isn’t the devil, because Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet.) Since Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet, evil really shouldn’t exist yet. Where is this evil coming from?

(I have a bad feeling it’s Roo -- the Root of Evil, that character Viv drew years ago and said is a looming presence in the distance. Is Roo some kind of “eldritch abomination”, who existed before the angels? Sadly, I think that’s very likely, at this point.)

Either way: Good and Evil are forces that already existed at the start of creation, before Adam and Eve and everything else, and Lucifer and the Fallen Angels had nothing to do with it. Which just doesn’t mesh, if you’re going to have a Christian base for the lore.

Also: It says the angels defend people from Evil. But who are the angels defending? They explicitly show that humanity hasn’t been created at this point, because we see the birth of Adam in a few moments; so who the heck needed defending during this period of time!?

…

Alright, to get this out of the way: Hazbin Hotel won’t use God as a character, apparently because they don’t want to offend anyone, or so I heard. It’s something to debate; was this a good idea on their part, or is it cowardice? For me, I personally feel like it’s the latter. The show has already taken many other incredibly sacred figures and stories, and jumbled them up and tweaked them for the show’s awful lore -- and Viv has never cared about offending anyone before so why would she care now -- which is why it feels spineless to me, for them to NOT go all the way and just use the Capital G himself. Plenty of other stories have used the Christian God as a character just fine.

If they’re worried about doing it tactfully, the solution is to just… NOT write God as an asshole? Maybe try for some genuine sincerity in the writing for once? Make him the single character in the cast who is never played for a joke, and whose personality has no stupid quirks. Have him be very distant, maybe even locked in Heaven’s Palace, that way you don’t have to show him more than a handful of times, but the audience will know he exists; and use his limited screentime to make him display wisdom and warmth.

Maybe he acts like a distant observer of the Universe, and he clearly knows something we don’t; he tut-tuts at the bad things, but “This, You See, is how it Must Be. And by the end of the show he’s right because everything works out for the good. Or... something.

My point is, they already used all this other sacred stuff from the bible, they might as well go all the way. (Viv certainly didn’t have a problem using Lilith or vodou symbols, did she?)

--Lucifer was a dreamer who was deemed dangerous to the order of Heaven. Then he fell in love with Lilith for her fierce independence and they wanted to share free will with humanity.

This story. This rewriting of the usual biblical tale to make Lucifer sympathetic.

It just doesn’t work.

It also ties back to their refusal to use God as a character. The character of God was an INTEGRAL piece of this mythological story, and God and Lucifer were inseparably intertwined figures in it. Lucifer’s entire rebellion and “Pride” sin was against God. You could say... Lucifer has major fucking "Daddy Issues." (That's a phrase Alastor will say later!) To take away his Daddy Issues is just so lame.

Even worse, this story is trying to paint Lucifer as a misunderstood artist who cared about creation. (He's so different from the actual mythological figure, it makes you wonder what the point of even using these figures as characters is.)

…There are two possibilities.

Possibility One: I wonder if this is a “sanitized” version of the story that Lucifer tells Charlie to make himself look better. (This feels very much like one of those “history lessons” that a fantasy world will introduce to the characters early on, only for that history lesson to be shown as a lie later on.) But if that’s the case, it’s WEIRD for Hazbin Hotel to do that with the story of the Garden of Eden?? Everyone/most everyone in the audience will already know the gist of how the Eden story goes, so they'll know this retelling isn’t right -- so what, are we expected to wait for Charlie to gormlessly stumble into the truth, ~as a twist~ that GASP D:> her father INTENTIONALLY fucked humanity over!?!?!? HE DID IT ON PURPOSE AND ALL THE SUFFERING OF HELL WAS HIS GOAL!?!?!? DAD HOW COULD YOU. That’ll be a shitty twist. The audience already knows this, so it’ll just be pounding our heads into the wall waiting for Charlie to get there.

(And also, it’s very suspicious they don’t actually SAY what Lucifer’s “ideas and dreams” were for creation. So that could be a lie by omission that he uses for his fairytale. In reality, he might have had awful, shitty, malicious ideas, which Heaven stopped him from doing, and Lucifer’s been a big baby about it ever since.)

Possibility two: This is legitimately the retelling of the Eden story in the Hazbin Universe. Which just suuuuuuucks! If Lucifer was a kind, caring individual, why would he let his Hell Kingdom become a total SHITHOLE of suffering? Wouldn’t he be a kind ruler? Wouldn’t he try to run the ship better?

And it’s a horrible decision to woobify him in general. You’re seriously going to de-claw THE DEVIL? You’re gonna rip out his teeth and make him soggy!? You’re gonna make the King Of Evil, The Father of All Lies, LUCIFER, EMBODIMENT OF PRIDE, a wet meow-meow sadboy who did nothing wrong?? COME ON!! What makes Lucifer an interesting character IS THAT HE MADE THE CHOICE to fuck everything up on purpose! He’s interesting BECAUSE of how he, to this day, wants to ruin the Earth to stick it to God! You can’t just take that away from him!

It’s incredible that these two possibilities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but both are unsalvageable. There is NO winning with this backstory. They fucked up.

--Ah wait there it is. The apple is the same color as the Vague Evil’s eye from above.

Yep….

Man, making Eve the twist villain of the story (before or after Roo shows up? Is Roo inside of Eve controlling her? It doesn’t matter). You couldn’t write a worst twist.

I ask you: Why is it Eve, and not Adam who is the secret twist villain? Or, why isn’t it Adam+Eve TOGETHER who are the twist villains?

If this were the only instance of female characters being demonized, I wouldn’t think anything of it -- but there is a clear pattern across all of Viv’s writing. Viv is a known misogynist, and this feels like an extension of her misogyny. Of course the twist villain is female. Of course Roo The Secret Eldritch Abomination is female. The male characters get sympathy, or stuff handed to them. Lucifer is a good lad who did nothing wrong! Alastor isn’t evil, he was hired to protect the Hotel and is a father figure to Charlie! ADAM got to go to Heaven and Eve didn’t!

I have absolutely no doubt that the blame will be put on Eve, and Adam will be given a pass because Eve tricked him to eat the fruit of knowledge, or something.

--Yep, this thing is animated like a Root. It’s totally Roo.

--Eyes… just like Roo’s root tongue. Yep.

--Heaven only allowed Lucifer to see the bad of humanity, never the good.

They really ARE trying to woobify him, aren’t they? At this point, the only way they could salvage any of this is by making this a sanitized bedtime story (which again wouldn’t work in itself.)

This is the fucking DEVIL we’re talking about.

He is the King of Hell, and therefore, he is the ruler of the Princes of Sin, the Ars Goetia, and the legions of Hell that are trying to corrupt the Earth! We see in Helluva Boss that demons do actually go to make Earth worse. If Lucifer is King and didn’t want this to happen, he has the power to stop at.

Plus: there are portals to go to Earth, and magic to watch the Earth as seen on Helluva Boss. So Lucifer has every means to look at the Earth any way he wants, and could see the good the Earth has to offer…… and it's because he’s the one bringing evil to the Earth in the first place in order to destroy good (technically to fight against God, but God ain't here, so "Good" it is.) That’s still Hell’s MO in this world. We’ve seen this on Helluva Boss, which is canon to this universe. And you cannot convince me that the King of Hell was “oblivious to it” or "the other royal demons have their own power and Lucy can't stop them" or some excuse like that, as if the Princes of Sin and the Ars Goetia are doing it secretly under Lucifer’s nose and Lucifer doesn’t know it’s going on. You cannot convince me of this.

Plus even then -- if Lucifer were still a sadboy who WANTS to see the good of the Earth (even if all he sees is the bad), that means… in theory, he has a “good heart”. So why isn’t he a kinder King?

Because this is either a fake fairytale or Viv is a bad writer who doesn’t think anything through. (It’s both.)

--Lucifer lost his spark, huh? What does that actually mean? Does it mean his title as King is only symbolic and he doesn’t do any ruling? (This can’t be right – we see later in the episode Lucifer still has some authority over various things, like meeting with Adam but foisting that responsibility on Charlie.) Does losing his spark just mean he gave up trying to be good, and now just revels in evil?

And, as the embodiment of Pride, shouldn’t Lucifer of all people be the most stubborn, unshakable person in existence? Instead of losing his SPARK, he should just grow jaded and bitter but still have that fire to prove he's better than everyone. He’s the King of Hell for a reason.

(And if Lilith thrives, why isn’t she the ruling Queen of Hell?)

--So Lilith uses her powers to Empower Demons…

This wording is VERY suspicious, and once again, feels like a sanitized bedtime story for Charlie.

What does empowering demons actually MEAN? Huh? It sounds very good in this fairytale, but look at the evidence presented to us. We see what Hell is like (...eventually.) It’s a shithole where everyone is suffering and constantly beating and killing each other. For all we know, her “empowering demons” actually means she encourages everyone’s worst behavior, gives sinners powers and weapons that they can use against each other, and is the reason why Hell is so awful.

…Oh god, if LILITH is the cause of Hell being bad, and Lucifer is a Good Boy who sits back and doesn’t do anything, then it’s another female character being written to fuck everything up!

(We don’t know when Eve takes Lilith’s spot, but I don’t think it’s quite at this point in history. So Eve doesn’t get the blame here just yet. Hopefully?)

--Overpopulation was always a bad motivation for Hazbin Hotel. I thought that even when I was a fan. Because: if Hell is a finite space where you can run out of room… then so is Heaven? If you start redeeming sinners for the sake of giving Hell more room… theeeeeen eventually HEAVEN is going to get overpopulated and run out of room. What then?

Hell also has other Rings the sinners are not allowed to go to. Are we going to mention the other Rings’ existence at any point? Will the idea of opening the other Rings up to sinners even be presented as an option at any point?

How much of Hazbin’s lore is going to be locked in Helluva Boss, unable to be shown in the series proper? Will the Princes of Sins, the Hellborn demons, the Ars Goetia ever make an appearance, or are they not allowed to? Will Charlie ever have to deal with the fact there is an entire slave caste in Hell, the Hellhounds? Is she going to free the Hellhounds? Imps are also oppressed, will the show ever explicitly TALK about that? Will the worldbuilding show us how imps, hellhounds, and Sinners intermingle in Pentagram City?

CAN HELLBORN DEMONS BE REDEEMED AND GO TO HEAVEN?

So many questions. And knowing Viv’s style, I highly doubt we’ll ever get any answers.

--So Charlie inherited her mother’s dream. But they completely neglected to mention what Lilith’s dream actually was. Do they mean she wants Charlie to “empowering sinners,” in general? Or did Lilith, specifically, want the exterminations to end?

They use such vague words, when this is one moment they should just give us a clear answer. This whole backstory was a mistake and a waste of time, but if you are going to use it to set up Charlie inheriting something from Lilith, you have to make it clear what she’s inheriting.

And also, while it’s not ENTIRELY a Chosen One scenario, in the pilot we got the sense that Charlie was the one who made the choice to try and help sinners, on her own. Now though, Charlie was GIVEN this dream by someone else, because she can’t have agency. It would be one thing if Lilith just taught Charlie to feel compassion (that would be fine, parents teach their kids morals all the time), but Charlie still came to the redemption conclusion on her own – it’s another for her to be said to have “inherited this from Lilith” or is carrying on Lilith’s legacy.

.................

With the opening monologue over, the only thing we know is that the lore is very messy. It has a Christian basis, but it's been fucked up so badly that it makes you wonder what the point even is.

Good and Evil are living eldritch forces that existed before creation and have nothing to do with God, Lucifer, or anything else like that.

There is no God, (who is the ENTIRE CENTRAL POINT for the biblical-inspired stuff in Hazbin); instead a whole Council of Elder Angels rules the universe.

Roo has no basis in anything.

I think in some tellings, Lucifer was the first Angel? Even if not, he was one of the highest. So Lucifer should be one of the ruling angels. They have to severely weaken him as a figure in order to make him under the control of the other angels. (After all, in Christian mythology, it's God who made Lucifer fall. Another way his absence fucks the story.)

And my final takeaway from combing over this lore is: why didn't Viv just make her own fantasy world? Everything in this show is only passingly similar to the stuff it's based on. If you're gonna take these aspects from religions and fuck with them so much, just make your own fantasy world where you can do whatever you want.

That was only the opening monologue. This is gonna be a long ride guys!

#Hazbin Hotel Critical #Vivziepop Critical #The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel #Episode 1

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