#I’m just destroying this already damaged kid without remorse

[inkyminx]

CW: Blood, Hanahaki Disease.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And the silly timelapse under the cut.

[qiqi-media]

How I feel about Mal Bertha and her character PART 1

 This is not a Mal bertha Biography and it is biased in the sense that I don’t like her at all. Read with caution.

Descendants 2 was actually the first movie of the trilogy that I had watched. My little sister was watching it and I happened to be passing by and sat to watch it with her when it caught my eye. 2017 me had a completely different opinion of Mal bertha than today not because I was younger but simply because D3 hadn’t come out yet and I hadn’t watched the first movie or even knew there was books. I can’t stand Mal bertha, not even the D1 version of her and that’s the one even Mal antis love. I didn’t like her in the first movie but it was more of a “I wouldn’t be friends with her.” I didn’t think that she was unforgiveable and that it was impossible to give her a second chance. She made her own bad choices but she expressed genuine regret for them and was only 16. Despite me, loathing Mal’s existence I related to her in sense that it’s scary wanting to change but you don’t know whether or not your actions have caused too much damage. 

In D2 watching it as a stand alone I saw a girl wanting something other than the ‘happily ever after’ and deciding she would go for what would make her happy when she went back to isle. I was desperately hoping that after the ‘It’s going down’ scene that she would go back to the isle and not choose to stay somewhere she wanted to leave. But we know how that went and the ending left me bitter and sad not for her, but for Uma. She began to leave a bitter taste in my mouth when she broke up with Ben and came back and just expected him to get back together with her. I’m going to go around every version of her character.

PRE D1

She was a dick. That’s the simplest way I can put it. I don’t like even acknowledging pre d1 Mal because it leaves me with this very negative view of her character that I don’t think was necessary. I feel like this is a big fuck up, wanting to have Mal be her ‘evilest’ before coming to Auradon. I understand the reason why they wanted to show her growth and change throughout the series. But after looking at some real life scenarios with a similar Mal situation it made me look at it differently. Imagine this: someone who severely bullied you and harassed you and everyone around getting to go to a new place and get the best treatment there, then she’s congratulated with becoming queen of that land and not only that she then decides she’s going to be queen of the place she was bullying and harassing people at without ever properly apologizing. This happens in real life and these people get exposed which is why I don’t like it. It would be different if Mal actual grew throughout the series but it was real just her gaining more power and the scenery changing from Pre D1-D3. She also continued to make the same type of ‘mistakes’ with no actual direct consequences all she had to do was cry and they forgave her. She would be okay if it Descendants was a stand alone movie. But knowing the type of life she would get to live after all of this behavior puts me off from reading it. It would also be different if Mal lived a simple life in Auradon (Aka not trying to take control by dating the king and then stepping all over said king) She got more than what she deserved to have. In my opinion she did deserve the chance at all better life just like all the other kids who didn’t commit any crimes to be locked up. But in the eyes of people she victimized she wouldn’t deserve to be Queen become royalty, live in castles and get gifted with limos and bikes. 

D1

 D1 is the version of Mal everyone generally likes however, like I stated before I didn’t like her even then. At the start we see someone who is clearly trying to please her mother so if her mother wants bad behavior she gives her that. Throughout the main plot she did things of her own accord that she can’t use her mom as an excuse for. There’s a couple different things but a lot of them had to do with Ben and I’m making a whole post on how Ben was treated like shit throughout the franchise so that will be addressed then and not in this post. However for a reference she drugged him with a spelled cookie into falling in love with her for the wand. He wasn’t even willing to eat the cookie at first but she guilt tripped him into eating it. We could brush this off as her doing whatever she needed to do to get to the crown but to me she took advantage of the situation by actually going on dates with him. He was already spelled and willing to listen to whatever she wanted so besides for her own personal interest why would she go on the dates? (Granted a 16 year old wanting to get cute and have a nice date with a nice boy is not a fault or wrong in any way the fault here is all of this was happening when Ben was not in his right state of mind until the spell washed off.) Her taking advantage of Jane’s insecurities was not cool either and I’m interested in what ways she would’ve tried to use Jane if it was easier to get to the wand through her. Since her main crime in my opinion was Ben and since he’ll have his own essay post I’ll focus on Audrey here.

Her disrespect to Audrey

It was unnecessary, she had no reason to have had Audrey’s name in her mouth as much as she did D1. It would make more sense for Mal to like Audrey’s sassy boldness to me not shit talk her every chance she got. At the start they had a small passive aggressive conversation that could’ve just been left at that because technically they burred the hatchet between the two families. It was a “hey I don’t fuck with you, you don’t fuck with me” type of a situation that could’ve grown civil. However, throughout the movie in comparison to Audrey who really just had a problem with Mal’s mother until she spelled ben then it became direct problems with each other. Mal was continuously talking shit about Audrey as if Audrey was the one who fucked with her family. This time her upbringing can be referenced, on the Isle she most likely was allowed to openly hate things and Audrey was most likely raised to at least pretend to be polite. But from the Audrey we’ve seen she clearly doesn’t care about holding her tongue she’s straightforward with how she feels and she didn’t have a problem with Mal she had a problem with her mother. The only time she talked about Mal directly was about the hair spells which she ended up being right about (Mal’s addictive reliance on magic in D2 and Jane at the end of D1).  After completely ignoring Audrey’s feelings and literally stole her boyfriend (not even on the the you can’t steal a loyal man type of shit she literally stole him he wasn’t even allowed to consent to it.) She later in Audrey’s Diary multiple times tries to reason this with she never meant to directly hurt Audrey and that she didn’t really want Ben she just wanted the wand etc etc. The evidence doesn’t back this up Mal, you’ve made your disdain for Audrey clear and talked shit about her to Evie right after you spelled Ben the did I mention bs claiming “Chad will see her horrible personally” as if you knew her personally and that Chad didn’t grow up with her. Mal can say she didn’t mean to hurt Audrey but she clearly didn’t mind that she did.

 I’m going to make a whole separate on Audrey and how I do think she gets a lot of slack because people can relate to her, but also how her treatment in comparison to Mal’s is unfair. 

 I did think she deserved a chance to show remorse for her behavior (spoiler: she didnt) Again, I like to look at things from the pov of other characters for things like this. If I was an Auradon kid who was friends with Mal and ended up finding out she was using me and plotting to take over and destroy the place I lived with/for her mother but changed her mind last minute. I would see her as forgivable I just wouldn’t want her around me. In other words I would expect her to start her own new life, not continue trying to live the one where she was plotting without even actually apologizing to people. AU: After descendants instead of continuing to date Ben she breaks it off and goes to an Art school frequently coming back to visit Auradon and after high school she goes on a quest (with the C4 of course) exploring all kinds of different kingdoms and countries because she was locked up on the isle her whole life. In the future she possibly returns to Auardon and even could get back together with Ben with a proper start.

D2

The first Descendants Movie I ever saw so it holds a special place with me and I actually rooted for Mal the first time I watched it. I sat in to watch at the argument scene and knowing all of the plots now and after rewatching  it my opinion has change greatly. We see a blonde and very stressed Mal who’s dealing with the pressures of becoming a royal in order to secure her place with Ben. I do feel bad for Mal when she was talking to Evie, she was trying to reach out to her friend about her situation and was basically told to stop talking about it. I understand Evie’s feelings of wanting to leave the past behind but I can also understand Mal feeling like she’s cornered and can’t even talk to her best friend. I can also understand her feelings of ending up overwhelmed with her decisions from going to somebody who did whatever whenever to becoming a royal with duties I get the pressure. If Mal decided that wasn’t the life she wanted to live and went back to the isle where she felt more comfortable I don’t see anything wrong with that. She wasn’t required to stay in Auradon if she felt like she was unhappy there. That says a little something about Auradon to me if somebody would rather live where they ate rotten food than live there.  My sympathy for Mal stops there because everything else was a result of her own actions and things she brought onto herself.

1. The royal situation

Let’s get one thing clear nobody was forcing Mal to hand sign up for the prime and proper royal life. She did that herself.

Nobody told her that she had to dye her hair blonde and have a complete wardrobe change, she did.

Nobody said she even had to continue the terrible relationship she had with Ben and go straight into being a royal in order to basically become Ben’s wifey, she did.

She’s saying all of these people are expecting things of her when 6 months ago she was stealing candy from babies when she was the one who let people have these expectations. She decided to take up the role herself because that was what she wanted. Let’s be honest with how it happened Mal would not live in Auradon if she had to be a regular citizen she wanted to be in control of everybody and to have power because that how she always lived. However once she realized that nobody was just about to hand her this power just for being with Ben unlike with her Mom  (getting to rule the isle just because she was her daughter and not because she actually worked her way up there) and that she actually had duties and work to fulfill if she wanted to be the boss. She let her pride get in the way by feeling she had to prove she could last with Ben and become an Auradon girl and ended up miserable and blaming Ben for  something she decided to do herself.

She then had the responsibility to fulfill all of those duties and she was struggling unlike anybody else who would’ve had to abide by the “don’t use magic” quote on quote rule she decided to use Magic after claiming she’d give it up and was still a hot ass mess. She can’t even use the excuse that was to help her with her lady in training because she was using it to not be late to class and later to try and manipulate Ben.  @ishiphumasohard made a good response on why it was unfair for Mal to use magic as her ‘right’ because at what point would it be unfair to other kids? While all the other kids have to show up on time to school Mal gets to use magic to turn back time instead of just being on time. If other kids studied all night for a test Mal can use a speed reading spell. If there was a cooking contest Mal can spell her way into a feast while the others would have to the actual labor. You get the point, because magic is not universally used by everyone in Auradon and it’s an unspoken rule that it’s not to be used then she should have followed this rule.

I will say the girl was stressed and was feeling alone, I already gave my sympathies for that.

The magic situation really hit the fan when she felt comfortable enough to spell the boyfriend who had already put enough trust in her to continue their relationship that started with her drugging him for her own benefit. Compared to her Ben did seem to be taking it easy but maybe like her, he didn’t want to show it. It seems Ben and Mal had a sort of pack to work hard together to become ‘the king and queen’ of Auradon they were supposed to be in it together. In my opinion it would make more sense for Ben to be hiding things from Mal than the other way around due to the nature of their shitty relationship. But that’s just not how it went down and after Mal tries to spell Ben into not finding her spellbook he gets RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. That entire scene was her fault, she could’ve explained herself and why she was using magic and that she was having a hard time but she once again decides to take advantage of Ben’s trust. Then proceeds to make sure she ends the  fight with her being the victim. So much so that the entire fact that she spelled Ben was never brought up again.

Going back to the isle 

She then decides to go back to the isle, if this was really her decision I wouldn’t mind it. There’s nothing wrong with her liking the isle better than Auradon if that’s where she felt at home. The problem was she was clearly emotional and let’s be honest, if she had called all of her friends together and actually broke up with Ben and told them this was her decision to go back to the isle before leaving they MIGHT (hard might) not have ran after her like they did. Not only that the duties that we were speaking of earlier, she didn’t formally pull out of anything which is why it irked me when she was so irritated that they came back for her.

Some people actually didn’t like her attitude as soon as she got back on the isle because she expected to run it. That wasn’t surprising to me honestly, because for her whole life that’s how it was, only person she was scared of was her mother. She quickly realized however now that her mom isn’t around and in lizard form nobody was scared of her. Most unrealistic part of D2 was how Mal didn’t get jumped as soon as people realized she got back. Like I said Isle Mal was a straight dickhead and had too many enemies to be walking around like she was. 

Another point was when she got her hair dyed by dizzy, the shop wasn’t open, she saw this, ignored it and went in anyway. Not even because her and Dizzy were tight like that she just expected her to do what she wanted (get the pattern with Mal here?)

 Skipping her scene with harry because it did nothing to the plot.

The rest of the C4 and Ben come to get Mal back as expected and she acts all surprised and angry. Ben apologizes to her and instead of apologizing for what she did and then explaining that she doesn’t want to go back to Auradon and be a lady of the court. She continues the narrative that Ben wanted her to change and that she’s not good for Auradon so she’s going to stay on the isle. What’s the difference between the two? The first one is her taking responsibility of her actions and deciding for herself that that’s not the life she wants. While the other is acknowledging none of the blame and deciding to run away not because that’s not what she really wants but because everyone will turn on her so she has to run first. It painted a narrative that nothing of this was her own doing while at the same time making it seem like she is doing the right thing by backing away which in hindsight probably was the better decision. Mal’s feelings weren’t the problem I understand them, she thinks she won’t be accepted as herself so she wants to leave before they can kick her out but that’s not what caused her to leave and she knows it. You got caught doing something shitty and instead of apologizing you ran away.

After Ben gets kidnapped she lectures the C4, again she does have some blame in this. With the way the fight ended it made it look like Ben was in the wrong so he was going to try and apologize regardless if they brought him or not. The rest of them came to keep him safe and as her gang members come back for her. Was this not something she considered after she calmed herself down? Ben honestly had no reason to be directly on the isle unprotected besides to sneak and apologize to you so are you really going to just blame the C4 for bringing him there and getting him captured?

Then when Uma, who has him captured plans a meeting she antagonizes her like that’s what is best for Ben at the time. Even in the mist of Ben being in danger she thought it was a good idea to try and piss off the person holding him captive. If you don’t remember what she did she called her shrimpy, insulted the smell of the restaurant and said she never thought of Uma while implying that Uma always had her on her mind for no reason. None of that was necessary to ask what Uma’s conditions were to give Ben back she just couldn’t help herself. 

She didn’t care about Dizzy

Who had just performed a task for her and right after she paid her got robbed and had the place trashed just for Mal to say she’ll be alright. This should’ve been foreshadowing at the very least that she wasn’t ready to be making decisions for other people’s lives because besides her own and her friends she didn’t care for many especially those on the isle.

It’s going down

Even though it was in the song and not directly her words again antagonizing the person who has Ben held captive and threatening his life, insulting them is stupid. This entire scene is messy and they shouldn’t even had been able to win a fight against pirates outnumbered. When has Mal ever picked up a sword???

Car ride Back

She gets mad when Ben has sympathy/ shows understanding for Uma. She somehow realizes that it’s wrong Uma kidnapped him but was comfortable spelling him without a second thought. In my opinion she thought she had some type of ownership over Ben she could do what she wanted to him and if somebody else did it was wrong. (Even though this can be applied to what she did in D1, I’m only talking about D2 because most people agree she showed regret for her actions in D1) When he calls her out on her hypocrisy she goes mute and does that thing, of letting her mouth hang opened whenever she gets called out on her shit.

END OF PART 1

I was going to make this one long post but I’ve been putting this off long enough so here is part 1, no idea when part 2 will be up. I do hope to have the Ben posts up before that.

[miraculousluvbug]

WINGLESS | Ch. 2

***WARNING: Season 4 Spoilers Ahead

***New to Wingless? Start at Chapter 1!

CH. SUMMARY: Of all the people Rena could let slip that she knows Ladybug's identity in front of . . . it had to be Chat Noir.

< < < THREE MONTHS AGO < < <

Ladybug swung from building to building, the exhilaration of a job well done fueling the fire in her veins. Traffic it would seem had resumed immediately, the sounds of wheels on pavement and cars obnoxiously honking ricocheting throughout the city’s architecture. This didn’t surprise Ladybug, seeing as the city had grown quite accustomed to akumas blocking the roads. Once the tips of her toes touched a rooftop, it wasn’t long before she was joined by another pair of boots.

“That went well,” commented Ladybug as she swiveled to face her teammate.

Rena Rouge folded her arms across her chest and popped a hip, lips puckered in a frown. “Are you kidding, girl?”

Ladybug’s face fell. No, she wasn’t kidding. She honestly had felt it went well. Was she missing something? Did a disaster strike while she was focused on her lucky charm? Had her Miraculous ladybugs not corrected all of the damage? Were there civilians hurt somewhere--

Abruptly, Rena clapped her hands on Ladybug’s shoulders and squealed, putting a halt to Ladybug’s internal meltdown. “That went amazing! We’re like a well-oiled machine, you and me. I still can’t believe I get to do superhero stuff!” At the sound of Alya’s impromptu shrieking, some pigeons nearby took flight, cooing what Ladybug imagined was a bird version of crotchety old people grumbling. Not even the least bit deterred, Rena leaned forward into Ladybug’s personal bubble, eyes wide with excitement. “But what I really can’t believe is that I’m doing it all with my best friend!”

Ladybug relaxed her posture and let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. But she quickly regretted it when she got a nice, big whiff of crepes, urine, and cigarette smoke. Ah, Paris. Home, sweet home. However, noticing her thoughts were veering dangerously offtrack, Ladybug shook herself mentally.

So nothing had gone wrong. Rena was just being Rena and drawing out the suspense. Ladybug patted her friend’s right hand--which was still firmly squeezing her shoulder--and smiled sweetly.

“It sure is convenient that I don’t have to hide from you anymore,” the spotted-heroine remarked. “I think half the time I took so long to get to a battle because I always had to come up with excuses.”

Rena grinned with a knowing glint in her eye. “I might be impressed if your excuses were actually good.”

Rolling her eyes, Ladybug turned away from Rena, causing Rena’s hands to fall to her sides. “Hey, you try having to come up with five hundred different reasons you have to flake on your friends and see if you fare any better.”

Rena was about to sass her best friend some more, but the words caught in her throat at the sight of Ladybug hugging herself. She recognized this stance. Ladybug’s head was in what Rena deemed the “Guilt Grotto.”

Rena stepped forward to wrap Ladybug in a warm, girl-you-better-get-your-head-out-of-the-guilt-grotto-or-I’ll-tickle-you embrace when there was movement across the rooftops in her periphery. She craned her head to the right to find the familiar silhouette of Chat Noir vaulting his way over, a goofy grin clearly plastered across his face the closer he got.

In a matter of seconds, he landed squarely beside Ladybug, startling her. Ladybug, the epitome of grace that she was, did a series of awkward hand gestures before falling back on her bum, shrieking.

Chat Noir didn’t even look a teeny bit remorseful.

“Looks like I got here just in time!” he quipped, bowing and sliding his baton back into place on his suit.

Rena held out a hand for her friend as Ladybug voiced her question: “In time for what?”

Chat bounced on the balls of his feet. “Well, for the akuma, of course! You guys were having a quick team meeting, right?”

Rena and Ladybug shared a look. So that’s what he was so happy about. Ladybug opened her mouth to reply, but Rena beat her to it.

“Actually, we already took care of the akuma.”

Chat Noir visibly deflated. His ears drooped and his belt tail started to swish back and forth. “Oh.” He turned to the edge of the rooftop and hunkered down, letting his legs kick to and fro in an attempt to get rid of some of the adrenaline.

Ladybug winced. Chat did not sound happy. Hesitantly, she sat next to him. Rena then took a seat beside her, making her the middle. “Sorry, Chat. I know you like battling akumas more than I do.”

Chat nodded before murmuring, “Thirteen.”

“Hm?” Ladybug scooted closer to him to hear him better, their legs nearly touching. She leaned to her right to get a better look at his face and tilted her head innocently. If she were Marinette then, she might have fallen off the rooftop altogether, but she was Ladybug, and Ladybug had way more poise.

Chat didn’t answer immediately. Whatever it was that he was about to say, Ladybug knew it must be something important if he, the guy who was always upfront about his feelings, found it difficult to say. The guy who told her . . .

It’s precisely when something is important that it’s important to say it.

No matter what.

Ladybug gingerly rested a hand on his arm, hoping he understood what the gesture meant. It’s okay. Take your time. I’m ready to listen.

After a few more moments of staring at his feet, Chat Noir lifted his head so his eyes bore into Ladybug’s. They creased with . . . Was that worry? Sadness? Fear?

“Thirteen,” he repeated, a bit louder. “That makes it thirteen times you and Rena have battled an akuma without me. Since Montparnasse Tower.”

Ladybug was speechless. As she stared ahead, eyes unfocused, she tried her hardest to recall all the akuma battles. It was challenging as her memory loved to fail her when she needed it most. Had he really not been in any of those battles? Had it really been thirteen times?

Had he . . . had he really been keeping count?

Ladybug didn’t know what to say, but she knew she had to say something, anything. But what could she say? Was she sorry?

No, she couldn’t be sorry that the akumas had been defeated, that the victims had been rescued, that she had been able to do so quickly because Alya had been spending a record amount of hours by her side.

She couldn’t be sorry about any of that. She was only sad that he felt sidelined.

That was not her intention.

But she knew what the solution to that was.

And she would rather die before she let Chat Blanc see the light of day.

Somehow, knowing her identity had led to him being akumatized. Somehow, whether it was in an alternate timeline or when their memories had been wiped by Oblivio, she knew that what he said at Montparnasse Tower--that to know him was to love him--was truth. And Chat Blanc had told her what their love did.

Their love destroyed the world.

Their love had killed her.

Their love broke the moon, for crying out loud.

But, most importantly, their love hurt him.

Chat Noir had told her he loved her, many times, and she had even been considering giving his pun-spurting, jokes-at-the-worst-times self a chance. But being forced into combat with her akumatized partner had violently squashed any hope she had for them, for LadyNoir as Alya coined it on her blog. Ladybug would be damned if she allowed that to happen again. And if that meant encouraging him to move on even though it broke her heart . . .

Well, it wasn’t supposed to be easy being a hero.

Ladybug had this entire conversation with herself in a matter of seconds. She was careful not to let her face expose any of her innermost feelings, instead sporting an expression of neutrality. What she ultimately decided to do was tell him the only truth she had to offer. He hated secrets and she hated lying. What a pair they made.

“I wish it could be different,” she whispered.

And oh, how she did. She desperately yearned to tell him who she was, to know who he was, to tell him about Alya and Nino and all the other people she had entrusted with a Miraculous.

She wanted him to know how she grew up, what kinds of things she did at school, how she was utterly ridiculous when it came to her rotten luck (and she tried very hard to push a certain blue-eyed blonde out of her head the moment that phrase came to mind). She was sure he would snicker at all the times she made a fool of herself in front of Adrien, of all the ways she made her own life a living hell with her clumsiness.

Or perhaps he wouldn’t laugh. Perhaps he would pat her shoulder and uplift her with words of encouragement. She didn’t know. After the stunt he pulled with the balcony of candle-lit roses, the boy was a wild card, an enigma. He was complex.

And it thrilled her.

But no matter how she felt about him, they couldn’t know each other that way.

Sighing quietly, Ladybug brought her knees up to her chest and turned away from Chat Noir. If she had been watching him when she responded, she might have seen him look longingly at her, but she didn’t.

Rena Rouge did, though.

Wanting to make her friends feel better, Rena added, “Don’t you worry your pretty kitty head about it. I’m sure all those battles would have taken way longer if we weren’t already together.”

Ladybug and Chat Noir both stiffened. Chat’s gaze flicked from Rena to his partner over and over before they finally rested on Ladybug. “Uh, what does she mean by that?”

Ladybug shot a glare in Rena’s direction, but her eyes softened when she saw that Rena genuinely appeared surprised.

He didn’t know? Rena’s eyes asked Ladybug.

He didn’t know, Ladybug’s affirmed.

One would think Rena was Lady Luck because her pendant had decided that that moment was the best time to beep, and she couldn’t agree more. Now she had an escape route from this conversation. “Welp,” she clapped her hands together, “I’m gonna go chill in that fine-lookin’ alley over there.”

Before Ladybug could agree, Rena sprang from her spot and promptly disappeared. She was a regular magician, and her latest trick was leaving Ladybug with a rabbit to put back in the hat.

Or, er--a cat back in the bag. Whatever.

“What she meant by that . . . ” Ladybug began slowly, like she was addressing a wounded animal. Which, maybe she was but just, you know, emotionally wounded.

“Yeah . . . ” prompted Chat, signalling that he was not going to drop this.

Ladybug quickly jumped to her feet and began her ritual of frantic pacing. “Look, I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while, but I didn’t know how to because I knew it would raise questions that I couldn’t answer--”

A blonde boy in white leather with somber blue eyes appeared in front of her and she dug her heels into the cement, skidding to a stop.

Chat Noir was behind Ladybug now, his voice soft and curious. “Bug?”

Ladybug was frozen in place for a few more seconds before she shook her head hard enough to give herself shaken-baby syndrome and nodded, satisfied that the aggressive head-shaking had rid her of he who shall not be named. She whipped around and started.

Chat Noir was incredibly close.

She didn’t know he had gotten this close.

Geez, his eyes were really cat-like.

He also had a really cute nose--

Ladybug, FOCUS!

Ladybug took a step back. She made it her mission to ogle his bell instead of looking into his dumb kitten eyes. “You--” she began, but Ladybug’s throat was suddenly dry. She gulped. “You know how much I hate secrets and lying. And I know how much you hate secrets and lying. So I’m not going to lie to you. But I may not be able to answer the questions I’m sure you’ll have, so please . . . ”

Ladybug grabbed one of his hands then and held it firmly between her own, pleading with every fiber of her being that this would communicate how much he meant to her even though she knew what she was about to tell him would make it seem like he didn’t mean anything.

Please forgive me, Ladybug’s heart supplied.

When he didn’t immediately take his hand back, she looked up at him. She looked into those dumb kitten eyes and knew without a shadow of a doubt--

She was a masochist.

This was going to hurt. He didn’t like when she was the only one to know Rena’s identity. He definitely wasn’t going to like that Rena knew hers. This would be so much easier if she wasn’t ogling those big, emerald green, beautiful, brazenly dumb kitten eyes.

But she was a masochist. And she needed to see them while they still held love for her.

“I told Rena Rouge who I am.”

There. She ripped off the band-aid. Straight to the point. Zero room for interpretation. After all, her worst arguments started because of her clumsy miscommunication.

Ladybug braced herself for an explosion. She had played this moment in her head a couple hundred times since exposing herself to Alya.

Yelling. There was always yelling.

Sometimes, he stomped away while doing that weird T pose where his fists didn’t connect to his hips . . . a pose she herself was guilty of, too.

Others, he chastised her about her thoughtlessness--to which she responded that she definitely thought about it long and hard that day.

Ladybug braced herself for an explosion because she was sure there was going to be one, especially after seeing him upset about her always running off to Master Fu. He hadn’t even known there was a Guardian for a while.

What she hadn’t braced herself for was the expression on his face.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

His head was bowed.

His eyes were closed.

A lone tear slid down his cheek.

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

Her heart thudded against her ribcage, screaming at her to run because he wanted her Miracul--!

No! She refused to finish that thought.

Her head yelled back that he wasn’t akumatized right now, that she wasn’t back there, that she wasn’t with him. She desperately tried to shove the image from her mind. This was more than she could bear. She just--she couldn’t take it! She couldn’t take it because . . .

Because . . .

Thump, thump. Thump, thump.

Because he looked just like him.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

He looked like Chat Blanc.

-----

Heya! Thanks for reading. ❤ Check out my Instagram for Wingless updates. I'm also posting pieces of a Wingless cover with each chapter update!

(2/?) Previous | Next

[infinitywizard1207]

Our President And The Issue Of EJKs In The Philippines by Santino Fernandez

"Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely-Lord Acton”  

These words to me are important as they reflect a huge societal issue happening right now in The Philippines. This issue has to deal with the police and how they abuse their power towards the people of my country.  It is no secret that Police Brutality is running rampant in some countries right now. Just last May, America experienced a great tragedy with the murder of George Floyd.  The cop killings in the US are rampant but in the Philippines they are as bad if not worse.

Ever since 2016 our president Rodrigo Duterte has been on the so called “War on Drugs.”    In this campaign he promised to rid the country of dangerous substances by the end of his  six year term. However all it has done is create more damage  as this so called “Drug War” targets the poor and less fortunate.  In the years since Duterte has taken office he has implemented Extra Judicial Killings also known as EJKs in the country.   An EJK is when the government sanctions the killing of people or drug addicts  in the country as long as there is evidence.  There is no due process any more and these addicts are not taken to a court of law. These addicts are shot in the streets in cold blood without any hesitation or remorse.

Since the implementation of EJK in our country there have been up to 5000 deaths caused by the EJKs. However human rights groups say it is way beyond 12,000 already.  Human rights groups have been siding with the people because it is a violation of democracy. According to our democratic law everyone deserves their day in court but Duterte prefers to not do that and instead kill the offenders.  In a direct quote from the man himself he says that he will protect the cops who commit the EJKs. Duterte says- “That’s our deal. When I said that you go and destroy the drug industry, destroying means destroying, including human life.” He said police officers who have faced difficulties in carrying out their duties should never stress over it as he says  "I'll take care of you.”  

This has caused many corrupt cops to abuse the power and protection given by the president. Because of this protection the deaths caused by the EJKs have risen rapidly claiming the lives of men, women, and children alike.  One of the many victims was Kian De Los Santos a 17 year old boy in high school who was gunned down by cops.   The official statement by the police was that allegedly Kian drew a firearm on the cops and it prompted them to fire back.  Witness reports and a closed-circuit TV, though, showed two men pulling Kian around a basketball court in civilian wear. At the site of the confrontation, two small sachets of alleged shabu, a .45 calibre firearm and four shot cartridge cases were found. Witnesses have reported that they ordered Kian to run and handed him a gun. The Caloocan policemen believed Kian was a drug runner, but the accusation was vehemently refuted by the teenager's parents.  

However it is not just physical damage and the loss of life that these EJKs cause but mental damage as well.  Human Rights watcher  Carlos H. Conde has investigated the trauma caused by the EJKs. One of Carlos’s subjects was a girl whose father was gunned down by the police which has created massive trauma.  In a direct quote from Carlos-“What struck me deeply was the level of trauma that these kids have, When I talked to her about that, she was very articulate and forthright, but you could sense the deep psychological trauma that she suffered in witnessing the violence and also being reminded every day of what happened to her father”

These children paint a harrowing picture of the long-lasting consequences of the murders. Another harrowing example of  how EJK effects children are three anonymous brothers. These three brothers, who were 15, 13 and 10 when their father was killed over two years ago, now live on the streets, after being essentially deserted by their mother, do not attend school and work menial jobs for rent. A 5-year-old boy's mother said he threatened to kill one of his friends and cover him in packing tape. "It's the same way the boy's father was discovered 19 times after being stabbed, his head wrapped in tape and a sign placed near him reading, "I'm a drug pusher. Don’t emulate me.”

From July 1, 2016 to June 30, 2019, the Philippine National Police announced that 5,526 criminals were killed during police operations. However, according to reports by domestic human rights organizations, this figure does not include the thousands of suspected gunmen killed in incidents that are not seriously investigated by the authorities, raising the death toll to as high as 27,000. Human Rights Watch reports and reputable media sources such as Rappler and Reuters say that these vigilante-style shootings were committed either by police officers themselves or by police-related killers.  This has resulted in many cases with regards to the violation of human rights but only one case was brought to justice and it was the case of Kian.

Even today there are victims of this abuse in power. On Dec 20 2020 a mother and her son were killed by a policeman in Pampanga.  This policeman by the name of Jonel Nuezca shot a middle aged woman by the name of Sonya Gregorio and her son by the name of Frank Gregorio.  This whole incident was recorded on video and shows Nuezca take out a gun and shoot Sonya in the head, then shoots her son while they clutch each other, then shoots each of them a second time. The video soon went viral, prompting an internal investigation of the police officer and murder charges. He has handed himself in to the police but this is again a harsh reminder of how rampant this abuse of power is.

The presidents reach of power also extends over to the media and government. The United Nations Human Rights Council adopted a resolution in July 2019 urging the Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights to send a briefing on the human rights situation in the Philippines in June 2020, putting international pressure for transparency to bear. The Duterte administration reacted by demanding the termination of all financial aid talks from the 18 countries adopting the resolution.

Journalists are also being silenced as well.  This is the case with the company of ABS-CBN  news network and the famous journalist Maria Ressa.  In the case of ABS-CBN the company was accused of political bias.  Duterte accused ABS-CBN of not being impartial or fair during the 2016 elections. These accusations go even further when the President accused ABS-CBN of aiding Duterte’s political competition.  During the hearing for the franchise’s renewal the house of representatives voted on closing ABS-CBN after 25 years of news. Critics of the president say he's gone after media outlets who have closely reported his drug war, which since he took office in 2016 has left thousands of people dead. By government order, ABS-CBN ceased operations of its free TV and radio channels after its 25-year franchise expired in May.

This has caused massive repercussions amongst the Philippine society as 11,000 workers were left without a job and let go.

However there are massive long term effects as well.  ABS-CBN was the number one news network in the country and their network reached across the various provinces. With no news network most of the country is not informed on the various events in the country.  This was the case in November 2020 when Typhoon Ulysses hit the Cagayan Valley. Since there was no news of the upcoming Typhoon the residents of that province were unprepared and not ready. The result was a staggering amount of deaths in the Cagayan valley as well as a massive amount of damage.  All this is the result of Duterte wanting to silence his critics because of his actions in the drug war.

Another example of Journalism being silenced is the case of Maria Ressa. Maria Ressa was the CEO of the news website Rappler.  This news website vehemently criticized and watched  Duterte’s movements and approached towards the drug war.  Ever since the 2016 election  Rappler has been a harsh critic for Duterte but in 2020 Maria Ressa was jailed. The allegations according to the court were “cyberlibel” which is equivalent to 200,000 pesos in damages plus a few years in jail. Ressa’s arrest sparked anger in millions including famous journalist Amal Clooney.  Many have stated that this is an act that takes away the freedom of speech. A right that we Filipinos have because of our democratic government.  Amal has said her self that “the court had become complicit in a sinister action to silence a journalist for exposing corruption and abuse”.  

Rappler scrutinized Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte's government, revealed bot armies and corruption, and reported his ruthless anti-drug campaign, which, by some reports, has resulted in tens of thousands of extrajudicial killings. In exchange, Rappler was criticized as trading "fake news" by the president, and his administration launched multiple lawsuits against him. In addition to the cyber-libel allegations, Ressa is also facing further prosecution for libel, two court proceedings alleging unlawful foreign ownership of her enterprises, and inquiries into her old tax returns. The numerous allegations made against Ressa could lead to prison sentences of about 100 years.

Various journalists have also been  victims to Duterte’s silencing.  In November, one journalist had been killed: news anchor Eduardo Dizon of Mindanao's Kidapawan City, who was shot dead on July 10. At least one of them, Brandon Lee, was seriously wounded in an assault by a gunman in the northern Philippines in August.   But it doesn't stop there as Duterte has passed an Anti Terror Bill which at close examination controls our freedom of speech.  Under the statute, a criminal suspect can be arrested without trial for 14 days, a duration which may be extended to 24 days. Human rights lawyers argue that it breaks a constitutional requirement that after three days of arrest, an individual must be convicted. The anti terror law also will  monitor any social media discourse related to offending the president or his administration.

Even today the ruthless reign of Duterte continues as the police are given more power while the masses suffer. During the lockdown the president has stated that he will kill anyone who violates it. “My orders to the police and the military, if anyone creates trouble, and their lives are in danger: shoot them dead.”   This has created  fear amongst the masses as well as a new view on how the people see our government.

In my personal opinion this is not what a leader is supposed to be. Before I started on this essay I put a quote about power and I feel this is more relevant now than ever. Duterte’s absolute power has corrupted the government absolutely.  It has made the police think they are untouchable and has caused the poor people to suffer.  Our president is waging a war on drugs that is not effective at all and the Filipino people are paying the price.  A good leader in my opinion is one who puts the people first and not his agendas.  A good leader is someone who takes the Filipino people’s lives into consideration and does not murder them in cold blood. So with this current societal issue happening in our country I ask that you spread the awareness of how bad our president is.  Hopefully this country will change for the better and it will see a brighter tomorrow. In the end it is really up to the Filipino people and if they want their country to change.

“People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.”

V from V for Vendetta

Sources-

https://www.hrw.org/world-report/2020/country-chapters/philippines

https://humanrightsmeasurement.org/extrajudicial-killings-in-the-philippines/

https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/961396/duterte-to-cops-kill-criminals-if-you-have-to-ill-protect-you

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/what-happens-to-the-families-left-behind-in-dutertes-deadly-campaign-against-drugs/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/philippines-police-brutality-mother-shot/2020/12/21/0a5f9762-4358-11eb-ac2a-3ac0f2b8ceeb_story.html

https://www.statista.com/statistics/585152/people-shot-to-death-by-us-police-by-race/

https://www.hrw.org/tag/philippines-war-drugs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-46381697

https://cnnphilippines.com/news/2018/11/29/Kian-delos-Santos-murder-Caloocan-police-guilty.html

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/4/2/shoot-them-dead-duterte-warns-against-violating-lockdown

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/10/world/asia/philippines-congress-media-duterte-abs-cbn.html

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/15/maria-ressa-rappler-editor-found-guilty-of-cyber-libel-charges-in-philippines

https://reliefweb.int/report/philippines/philippines-typhoon-vamco-ulysses-cagayan-valley-region-impact-and-response-24

https://www.npr.org/2020/07/21/893019057/why-rights-groups-worry-about-the-philippines-new-anti-terrorism-law

[chickensarentcheap]

Sanctuary -Chapter 49

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @alievans007​, @thunderintheshadows​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @valkyrie-of-the-light​

Nik has arranged a private flight; her list of wealthy and well established connections is long and prosperous, with more names being added as the days go by. Most are former satisfied clients offering services in exchange of hefty payments, others are associates of big name and influential marks. Word travels fast in the dark underbelly of the soldier for hire world, and once you've established a reputation, it follows you; your client listing growing larger, the money offered much more substantial, the jobs more dangerous and life threatening.  

She'd reluctantly given him the departure time; slightly remorseful for causing an even bigger issue than she'd intended, and eager to keep the peace between Tyler and her herself. It would never be the same. They both know that. The last thread that had been keeping their friendship intact has finally been severed, relegating them to nothing more than colleagues. There's been too much damage done; the years of pursuing him and attempting to convince him to commit adultery, the trust issues that have been plaguing them since he refused to dump Ovi in the street in Dhaka (going against her direct orders), and now going behind his back and almost single handily ruining his marriage.   The latter is partly his fault as well; he shoulders his blame and has had a little more than twelve hours to torture himself over the decisions he'd made. With more meds in his system; he's finally starting to think straight again; the confusion beginning to lift,  the doom and gloom dissipating, the harsh reality of what he'd done sinking in. He's disgusted with himself; for resorting to the means he'd had, for allowing himself to spiral so far out of control that he hadn't even realized he was making a mess out of himself and his life,  for keeping such a horrendous and vile secret from his wife and for not letting her help him sooner.  And for reacting the way he'd had during their fight; for that brief moment when he'd come so close to not being able to control his temper and had thought about grabbing her or hitting her.

It makes him feel sick even now. When he thinks about getting to that point. That he'd allowed his brain to get so fucked up that hurting her had even become an option.  Under normal circumstances, the thought would never have even crossed his mind, not even in the midst of their nastiest and most intense of fights.  And the fact that it had had been enough to make him realize just how much things needed to change. How much he needed to change.  So instead of going on a bender and drinking away his misery, he'd proceeded to raid the mini bar in favour of dumping every bottle of booze down the drain to avoid temptation, and instead of going into an uncontrollable rage and trashing and destroying the hotel room, he'd sat down and had an emotional breakdown instead. Allowing the tears to fall and the sobs to wrack his body; feeling emotionally and physically spent afterwards, but determined to make his life better. He wasn't going to lose his wife and his kids. And he was going to make whatever changes he needed to make to ensure that didn't happen.

His hands are shoved in the pockets of his flack jacket as he crossed the tarmac; Nik and Esme are at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the floor of the jet, quietly conversing as one of the stewards finishes loading the bags. Nik sees him first, attempting a small smile that he doesn't return, and her lips set themselves into a grin -almost remorseful- line before she whispers something to Esme, gives her upper arm a tight squeeze and then climbs the stairs to the jet without a glance back.

“Hey,” he simply greets, and attempts a smile. He's been miserable since she walked out the night before; heartbroken and desolate instead of angry and destructive. But he'd kept his promise; staying away from her, not even calling or texting, no matter how desperate he was to talk to her.  It's the first time in almost the entire five and a half years they've been together that they've gone that long without talking; always finding ways to communicate even when he was halfway around the world.  And he didn't realize that he'd miss her that damn much in such a short period of time.

Hey,” she sounds tired, sad. And he hates that he's done that to her. But her smile is genuine; it makes her smile sparkle and the bridge of her nose to crinkle. She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen; no make up gracing her still youthful features, clad in a pair of jeans and one of his hoodies.

“I was looking for that,” he teases, and nods at the sweater.

“You know it's my favourite one. I wasn't going home without it. And it still smells like you, so...” her voice trails off. “...what are....?”

“I know...”  he begins at the same time, then gives a small laugh. “Go ahead. Ladies first.”

“Age before beauty,” she playfully retorts, and even this small return to their often playful banter gives him hope.

“I know I said I'd stay away from you, when you called me to let me know you were leaving, but Nik told me what time the flight was at.  And before you get mad at her, I kind of put a huge guilt trip on her and forced her to tell me.”

“What are you doing here? I thought we both agreed we wouldn't see each other until you came home.”

“I'm not here to try and convince you to stay. I want to. But I won't.” He wonders if she wants him to; if she wants him to grovel and beg. Because if if that's what it will take to change her mind, he's more than willing to do it. He's far beyond worrying about his pride.

“You need to concentrate on the job,” she says. “And you can't do that if I'm here. You'll spend too much time worrying about me and the baby. And that's dangerous. If your head isn't one hundred percent in things.”

He nods in agreement. “I got a hold of Ovi. He's going to give it a couple of days and then they're going to make their way back to Colorado. I told him not to go to the house and to go to your mom's instead. It's going to be crowded as all hell there. Especially with Nik staying with you.”

“I told her she didn't need to, but she says it's for the best. She feels better if she can keep an eye on all of us. She said it would probably be okay if we went back to the house, but I don't want to be there without you. I'd feel better if you were there with us.”

“And I'd feel better if you stayed away from the house,” he says. “Until I got back. Just in case.”

“Are you okay?” she asks, and takes a step towards him.. “And don't say you're fine. Because I know you're not.”

“I'm not okay, but I will be.”

“You're taking your meds?”

He nods.

“Are you sober?”

“Yeah. I am. And I'm going to stay that way.”

Her smile is a little bigger this time, and she moves even closer to him.

“Have you been back there?”  she inquires. “The storage place?”

“No. Not since yesterday. Not since we...well...you know...”

“And are you going to? Go back?”

He shakes his head. “I told Mark to handle everything. That I wanted nothing more to do with it.  That I never should have done it in the first goddamn place. And I'm sorry. That I ever did do it. And that I never told you how fucked up my head actually is. As soon as I did it, I should have told you.”

“You thought you had a valid reason,” she says. “That's what your brain was telling you.  And I get that. That it was you but it wasn't you all at the same time. Promise me this won't ever happen again. That that's a direction you won't go in again. Because that isn't who you are. No matter what your brain tells you.”

“I promise. It won't ever happen again. That's not who I am; you're right. And it fucking makes me sick that I even thought about it.”

“Don't do that to yourself, Tyler. The guilt. Don't dwell on that. It happened. You can't go back and change it. For what's it worth, it wasn't all your fault. You had people enabling you. Making you think you were doing the right thing. And that's not who you are either. You don't normally give a shit what anyone says.”

“Guess I'm even more fucked up than I realize.”

“You're sick, not fucked up. And when you get home we'll deal with it. Together. Not on your own. You're not in this alone.  And the sooner you realize that, things will get better. You have to let me help you, Tyler. I know that's hard for you. You think I've already done so much. After Dhaka.  But I'd do it all again. I'd make the same decisions. In a heartbeat.”

“I didn't mean what I said. About wishing you'd let me die. I was just pissed off and on the defensive and...”

“I know...” she lays her hands on his hips.  “...I know you didn't mean it. And maybe things would have been easier. If I had have. But I wasn't letting you go. Not that easily anyway.”

He smiles at that.  

“I'm going to call the doctor when I get to my mom's. I should probably get into see her as soon as possible. I think I'm further along than I either of us think. Probably close to three months. If not a bit past it.”

“When I came back from El Salvador,” he easily recalls, and she nods. “Yeah, that was a wild eighteen hours. When I first got back. You were kinda...noisy...that night”

She blushes. “Yeah, well you have that effect on me. I just can't let it out when there's kids in the house. And if that's the case, that that's when it happened, I  need to get in to the doctor sooner rather than later. Just to make sure things are okay.  But I'll call you and let you know what she says. She'll probably want to do an ultrasound. To check on everything. I can send you copies of the pictures if you want.”

“Yeah, I'd like that. Then I go around showing them to complete strangers, bragging about my super sperm.”

She laughs, and shakes her head. “You're never going to let that go, are you.”

“Probably not.  Billy Flynn called. The IRA agreed. They'll take him off our hands. For everything we asked for. I'll let him know where you and the kids are. So he can have his people go there. So once I hand McMann over, that part of the job will be done. And no, I won't be doing it alone. I'll have someone there with me. So I don't flip my shit and fuck him up even more than I already have.”

“He'll get what's coming him to Tyler. Even if it's not you that does it. And I don't want you to be the one that does it.”

“I won't be,” he assures her, and reaches out to take her face in his hands, thumbs gliding across the tops of her cheeks. “I leave for New Zealand, In two days.”

“You found them? The kids? He told you where they are?”

“He just said they're in New Zealand. It's up to me to find out exactly where. But I'm thinking you were probably right about the grandmother's old store. That it's somewhere I should check out.”

“Don't go alone, okay? Because McMann may be out of the picture, but the Buckmans are still in it. And those are people you do not want to cross by yourself.”

“Mark and one of his guys are going to come along. Just in case.  As much as I can't fucking stand Mark...”

“He'll have your back. Mostly because he knows I'll kill him if he lets something happen to you. Please be careful, Tyler.”

“I will.”

“Because I kind of want you to come home,” she says, and fights back tears. “I really, really want you to come home.”

“I'm coming home, baby. I promise.”

She nods, and then drops her forehead onto his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. And he can feel her body trembling against him as she cries.

“It's going to be okay,” he drops a kiss on the top of her head, then places one hand on the nape of her neck, the other on the small of her back. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“I'm sorry. For some of the things I said. I know how bad they must have hurt you and...”

“Don't be sorry. They were true. I needed to hear them.”

“I would never, ever, take your kids from you. And I never should have said that. That was a horrible thing to say you but I was just so shocked over the whole thing and I was so angry with you and I was so hurt when you said you wished I'd let you die that I just snapped and....”

“Esme, it's okay,” he presses a kiss to her temple. “What I did was fucked up. And I'm sorry I did it. That I lied to you. That I disappointed you.”

“You're a great dad, Tyler. And when I said that you should try being a dad for once...”

'Baby, stop. Just stop.  It's okay. And it's true, I've been away more than I've been home. I've missed a lot. But I always tried to make for it. With them. But I never tried hard enough to make up for it with you. And I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry.”

“There's things we both need to work on,” she says, and he nods.

“Me more than you though. I've got a lot more shit to work out.”

“We'll do that together, right?” she sounds worried, and she looks up at him, her top teeth digging into her bottom lip. “This isn't something you want to alone or...”

“I'm coming home, baby. I already said that. Neither of us are going to do this alone.”

She smiles at that. “How long do you think? That you'll be in New Zealand?”

“Few days. A week at the most. It'll take us a couple days once we get there to track down a location. Unless the IRA can get more info out of McMann before they kill him. And I asked for proof. That he's dead. So we know for sure. So we don't have to worry about showing up on our doorstep a year from now.”

“I'll definitely be able to sleep better at night if I know for sure he's gone. And when you're home and I don't have to sleep in that big old bed by myself.”

“Yeah, that'll be nice. I know I know I'll sleep like shit until I get home.”

“You sleep like shit anyway,” she sniffles.

“Well I'll sleep like bigger shit until I get home,” he chuckles.  “You should go...” he rubs his palms up and down her back. “...Nik's probably starting to get antsy. Your mom picking you up at the airport?”

“Kyle said he would do it.”  The youngest Drummond boy. The only 'non cop'. A firefighter in Denver. For the most part he's neutral when it comes to his opinions on his sister's choice in men and her hasty marriage and pregnancy. But when his mother gets out of hand and he can't handle anymore, he becomes what they call 'Pro Tyler'.  It's mostly to piss her off, but they appreciate the support. And he's a good uncle; taking the time out of his schedule to spend time with his nieces and nephews, unlike the others who have a hard time even remembering birthdays.

“You'll call me?” he asks. “When you get there? So I now you're safe and sound?”

She nods.  “Don't go to New Zealand without letting me know about it, okay? I'm thousands of miles away, but I still like to know where you are and if you're alright.”

“I'll call you,” he promises. “Give the kids hugs and kisses from daddy. Tell them I miss them. That I'll see them soon.”

“I will,” the tears are threatening again. “Be home soon, okay? I'll miss you.”

“I'll miss you too,” he takes her face in his hands and kisses; tender, sweet, long. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Tyler. Please stay safe.”

“Always,” he says, and places a kiss to her forehead before taking a step backwards and watching her as she climbs the stairs to the jet. Smiling when she pauses in the doorway to give him a small wave before disappearing inside.

****

Kyle is already waiting at the edge of the tarmac when they arrive; leaning against the passenger's side door of his pick up truck, hands stuffed in the pockets of his navy blue Denver Fire Department jacket. The third youngest, he's the tallest and biggest of the three boys; just hitting six feet, with broad shoulders and chest and strong, powerful arms. He's the spitting image of their late father; brilliant blue eyes, the same easy smile and witty and sarcastic nature,  the graying hair clipped short to his head in a brush cut. He gives his sister a bright, cheerful smile as she raises her hand in greeting as she descends the jet steps, then hangs back as she and Nik exchange a brief conversation and a quick hug before Nik departs to meet with the waiting 'security experts' she'd assigned to the family.

“Who's that?” he asks, as he quickly strides towards his sister, relieving her of her carry on bag and suitcase. Watching as Nik...in her well tailored charcoal grey pant suit and pink blouse...climbs into the back of a Lincoln Navigator.  

“That's Nik. She's going to be staying at mom's too.”

“Friend of yours?”

Esme nods. “She's also Tyler's boss. Sort of. She's the one that calls him when she has work she needs done.”

“What kind of work?”

“We've talked about this. A million times. Private security.”

“Private security, huh?” he slings the strap of the carry on over his shoulder. “Why do I get the feeling that's code language for something else entirely?”

“It's been five and a half years, K. Let it go.”

“Yeah? Well It's been five and a half years of thinking you're full of shit. Hold up...” he places a protective arm across her stomach when the Navigator comes within feet of them on it's way off the tarmac.  And he notices how Nik is watching them; oversized sunglasses covering her eyes, a slow smile spreading across her face.  “She's cute,” he says.  “Your friend.”

“She's with Mark.”

He frowns. “Mark as in...”

“As in my ex Mark. The Mark who you dragged out of a bed at a hotel in Aspen and beat the shit out of in front of a prostitute. That Mark.”

“He's lucky all I did was beat the shit out of him. I should have killed him. I could have, you know. With my bare hands. I could have honestly killed him. Why would someone like her want to be a dick like him?”

“Maybe she didn't realize that you're single and 'looking to mingle',” Esme playfully digs her elbow into his side. “I mean, what's not to like about you? You're buff, crazy handsome, a firefighter. Chicks dig men in uniform. Even someone like Nik, I bet.”

Kyle chuckles. “Easy now. All I said was that she was cute. I'm not looking for you to hook me up.  Besides, I don't know if I could get with someone that's been with that prick. Not after all the stuff he's done to my little sister.”

“Typical, K. Always the protective older brother.”

“Always,” he declares. “How you doing, kid?” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her tight into his side, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Not sure about the red. Never thought I'd see you with that colour. What's that all about?”

“It is a long story that I do not have the energy to tell. But I'm dying it back as soon as I can get to a store and get a box of hair dye. I want this part of my life to be over. It's been a nightmare and I need every memory of it gone.”

“It's hair.”

“And I want it gone. It needs to be gone.”

“We can stop at a store before we get to mom's, if you're that hell bent on changing things. What did Tyler say about? Did he like it?”

“He was okay with it, I guess. He never complained about it. But I just want it gone. I don't like what it represents. I don't want to hang onto those memories. I need this part to be over.”

“This part as in Tyler or...”

“What?” she gives a short laugh. “No. Not as in Tyler. Tyler and I are fine. Sort of.”

Kyle arches an eyebrow.

“We aren't splitting up, so don't get hopeful.”

“Why would I be hopeful? I actually like the guy. I'm the only one who does. Everyone else has their heads so far up mom's ass they just go along with whatever she says. But I think he's  a good shit. It's kind of cool having an Australian as a brother in law. And he's good for you. Good to you. Worships the ground you walk on. And he's a great dad.”

She nods. “He is.”

“But? Why do I feel like there's a but coming on?”

“But, we're having some issues,” she admits.  “Not bad enough for us to call things quits. But bad enough that I had to come home. He's got a lot on his plate. With work. The thing he is working on is stressful and it's taking a lot out of him and he's not doing well. Mentally. I was only in his way in Ireland. He couldn't concentrate on doing his job when he was too busy worrying about me all the time.”

“This all sounds a little ominous,” he loads her things into the back seat of the truck, then opens her door for her, a hand on her elbow as he helps her climb into the seat. “All the more reason I think this private security business goes way deeper than you're letting on. What would he be doing in Ireland that would require private security?”

“Nik has a lot of international clients,” Esme explains, as she buckles her seat belt. “Tyler goes where she needs him.”

“For private security.”

Esme nods.

Kyle shakes his head. “You're full of shit,sis,” he says, and slams her door closed.

****

Their on the highway for several minutes before either of them speak again. Kyle turning down the volume on the radio and then taking a sip of coffee from the take out cup sitting in the holder between the seats.

“You want to talk about it?” he asks. “Whatever is going on? Whatever is happening between you and Tyler?”

She gives a small, almost apologetic smile. “Not really.”

“How bad is it?”

“I already told you. Not bad enough to split us up. There's no reason to hire a lawyer and get divorce papers drawn up.”

“What if I told you that mom's already been on google looking up good lawyers and taking their numbers down?”

Sighing, she shakes her head in disbelief.

“I know,” Kyle snorts. “What a bitch, right? Considering her marriage is a huge dumpster fire. She should be the last person judging anyone for their choices. You know she's convinced that he has women all over the globe? That he's hooking up with different people every place he goes?”

“She's a piece of work. I can't believe I'm willingly going there.”

“Does he? Have different women everywhere?”

She laughs. “No. He doesn't.”

“Is he cheating on you? Is that what the issue is? You found out about it and you're pissed and...”

“Tyler is not cheating on me. Tyler would never cheat on me. In the same way I'd never cheat on him. Why the hell is everyone so against us being together? It's been five and a half years. We have four children together. We are people still so bent out of shape about this?”

“Well you did run off to Australia, meet some random guy, hook up with him, and never come home. First time we're hearing about him is when he's in the hospital near death? In some messed up work related incident? What? What is a work related incident when you're in private security.”

“It's like being a cop. In a way. It's dangerous. Maybe even more dangerous than being a cop.”

“So he's packing heat, then.”

She nods. “And being shot at by other people packing heat. Among other things.”

“And he almost died?”

“Yes. On the job. He was shot...in the neck...and almost died.”

“Almost bled out. In your arms.”

She sighs. “Yes.”

“How the hell would that even happen? Why would you even be there? Where he's working? While he's working?”

“Because I was working too. With him. On the same thing.”

“Wait? What?” Kyle laughs. “I thought you were in Australia on a business trip.”

“I didn't meet him in Australia, Kyle. I mean, I did. In a way. I went to his place in Australia to meet him because we were going to be working together and Nik thought we should meet each other first.”

He frowns. “Nik? His boss? She's also your boss? What? How? I thought you were in business. Why would you and Tyler be working for the same person if he's in private security and you were in business?”

“This is a very long story. And it's weird and it's twisted and it's complicated and...”

“And we've got a two hour drive so start talking,”  he interjects. “What the hell is going on, Esme? Because there is something that you're not telling me. There's a lot you're not telling me. So talk. Now.”

She sighs heavily, chewing nervously on her bottom lip.  “I wasn't in business. I was in intel. I was hired by people like Nik to go places and get information. Valuable information. That no one else was able to get. On people that are suspected of doing some horrible things.”

“Like a spy?”

“Sort of, I guess. I don't know. I would just go where I was sent and weasel my way into peoples' lives and I'd get the information they'd need and then they'd go in and take care of things.”

“They? Who are they?”

“Mercenaries.”

Kyle's eyes narrow.  “Excuse me, what? Did you just say mercenaries?”

Esme nods.

“As in soldiers for hire?”

Another nod.

“You're kidding, right?” he gives a short laugh.  “You've got to be kidding. So what does this have to do with Tyler?”

“Tyler isn't in private security, K. He's a mercenary.”

“What?” he chuckles. “You're really expecting me to believe that? This is all a joke right? Some big joke that the two of you have cooked up to play on mom. Get her riled up. Give her some more gray hair and maybe some heart issues. There's no way you're being serious. Tyler? A mercenary?”

“It's how we met. Nik recruited him for a job that she needed me to take. We were sent to Dhaka.”

“Isn't that the capital of Bangladesh?”

“A drug lord kidnapped another drug lord's son. But Nik couldn't figure out where they were keeping the kid other than somewhere in the market area. So she went me in to poke around and make nice with the locals and see what I could dig up. And she sent Tyler with me to protect me. And to eventually get the kid away from bad guys and home safe to his family.”

“I am having a really hard time wrapping my head around all of this,” Kyle admits, confusing on his face, brow deeply furrowed.

“Tyler and I were pretending to be newlyweds there for humanitarian work. That's how we ended up...well...you know...”

“Fucking,” her brother finishes for her.

“And it went really well until it didn't. Things fell apart on the way to the extraction point. Tyler wasn't able to get there safely because the kid's father sent someone to try and steal the kid off of Tyler and....”

“What the fuck? What are you talking about right now?”

“I'm explaining it to you!” she snaps. “They didn't want to pay Tyler his money so they tried to steal the  kid back and all hell broke loose and we were the only two people from the team that didn't die and I had to hide out in the forest until the coast was clear and then walk back into town to meet you with Tyler and Ovi and...”

“Hold up...just hold up...Ovi? As in Ovi who lives with you?”

“There were cops everywhere,” she continues. “And the cops were in on it. And this drug lord Asif had these street hooligans chasing after us and it was still a big mess, so we had to hide in a sewer and Tyler's friend had to come and rescue us and he took us back to his house and then he back stabbed Tyler and Ovi had to kill him and...”

“Jesus Christ, are you honestly serious about all of this? What the hell, Esme? What in the ever loving hell?”

“...and we had to try and get across the Sultana Kamal Bridge but we needed help so Tyler got the guy that originally tried to steal Ovi back in the first place. And we had to split up and I went with them and Tyler stayed behind and...”  her hands begin to tremble, tears brimming in her eyes. “...and Ovi and I got across okay but Tyler had a harder time and a sniper shot him and get back up and then this kid...this fucking kid shot him in the neck...”  she wipes at the tears that manage to escape. “...and he was bleeding out and I was holding him and I was telling him not to give up...that he'd promised me we'd do all these things together and get to know one another better. And I had to put my hand over his  neck and there was so much blood. There was so much of it and there was nothing I could but watch him die.”

“Okay...okay...calm down..” Kyle drops one hand from the wheel and rubs at the back of her neck.  “Do you want me to pull over? I can pull over. Want me to?”

She shakes her head.  “That's how it happened How it really happened.  That's how Tyler nearly died. When he was stable, they transferred him to Australia and I went with him and I decided to stay with him. I didn't want to leave him there alone. I didn't want him to wake up and not have anyone there for him. So I stayed. And then I realized it was because I was in love with him and I wanted to be with him. And then I found out I was pregnant with Millie. So when he was well enough to be released, we moved in together and he asked me to marry him. That's how I ended up in Australia. With Tyler.”

Silence descends on the truck. Nothing but her soft sniffling and the windshield wipers back and forth as they clear away the light rain that's begun to fall. Out of the corner of her eye, Esme can see her older brother watching her; mouth slightly again, rendered speechless by her incessant rambling. And the hard truths it brought forth. His eyes rapidly -and repeatedly-  flicking between her and the road. Eventually, he pops open the compartment between their seats, pulling out a bottle of water and a handful of fast food napkins, gently drop the bounty in her lap.

“Thank you,” she manages through the remainder of the sobs wracking her body, and when she has a hard time opening the bottle because of the tremors in her hands, he does it for her.  Rubbing her knee softly when she gives him an appreciative smile.

“It's okay, kid,” he says. “Just try and stay calm. Everything's okay.”

“It's not. It's really not K. It's fucked up and it's a mess and I wish we'd never had to keep it a secret. But we didn't have a choice. It was to protect you guys. Just in case someone ever wanted revenge on Tyler. Just in case they didn't go right after him and went after family first.  We didn't want anything happening to any of you.”

“I get that. I do. I understand why you couldn't say anything. But...Esme...what the fuck right from the beginning? Why would you even get involved in all of this? Why would you even get involved with him?”

“It just happened. We didn't go into it wanting it to happen. Or expecting it to happen, It just did. And then it kept happening. For the entire five days we were there. We couldn't stop. And then when the job was done...my job was done...we realized that we wanted to keep seeing each other. We were going to take some of the money we were paid and travel. Spend time getting to know each other. To see if we could have something. Something real.”

“But why?  Why would you want that for yourself? Someone like him? That does that for a living? Something that's dangerous and scary and...”

“Being a firefighter is scary and dangerous,” she interjects.

“Being a firefighter and being a trained killer are two totally different things.”

“He isn't a trained killer. I mean, he is. If he has to be. He kills because he has to. He doesn't do many jobs where he has to kill people intentionally. Like assassinations or hits.”

“Oh my God,” Kyle groans. “This just goes from bad to worse.”

“He mostly does extractions. Like he did for Ovi. He gets hired to save people. And sometimes he kills other people to save them. To save himself.”

“Are you listening to yourself right now? Are you? Your husband kills people. And he gets paid for it. Does that sound at all normal to you?”

“I just told you! He doesn't just kill people. He helps people. Sometimes he has to kill. Especially if it's to save for himself.”

“Jesus...fucking...Christ...” Kyle mutters. “And you're okay with this? That he has to sometimes kill people?'

“It is what it is. It's the job. The people he kills deserve to be killed. He's not killing innocent people.”

“How do you know that? How do you know someone doesn't hire to take out someone that is innocent?”

“Because I know Tyler. And Tyler would not do that.  Every job he takes, he's very thorough and very detailed and he leaves no stone unturned. And he has great instincts and they never let him down.”

“I can't believe you're trying to rationalize this. How long has he been doing this?”

“Since he left the army. So about fifteen years, almost sixteen years, I guess.”

“And he's still doing it ? Even though you guys are married and have kids.”

She nods. “This is his last job. He has two kids he has to be find. They're being held somewhere in New Zealand.”

“And you came home because...”

“Because I knew he wouldn't be able to focus if I was there. That he'd be too worried about me and his head wouldn't be right into the job and those kids need him to be totally on his game. He wouldn't have been if I'd stayed.”

“Why? You're a big girl. You can take care of yourself. What would he be worried about?”

“I'm pregnant,” she reveals.  “He didn't want anything happening to the baby.”

“Esme are you serious? You're pregnant? You're having a baby?”

She nods.

“Holy fuck...” he runs a hand over his hair and down onto his face. “....what the hell have you gotten yourself into? Are you sure? That you are?”

“I'm one hundred percent sure. We've been trying. To have a baby. It's just happened sooner than we thought it would.”

“You're willingly bringing a baby into this goddamn mess?”

“I already have four. Tyler's been a mercenary longer than any of them have been alive.”

“Is that why you sent them away? With Ovi? Because of this mercenary shit?”

“Someone was after Tyler. They threatened to grab the kids and hurt them. So Tyler told Ovi to take the kids and run. To protect them.”

“This is insane,” Kyle breathes. “This is fucking insane.  My brother law kills people for a living.”

“Stop it!” she orders. “That's not all he does. He helps people.”

“I'm going to break his fucking neck. I'm going to hunt him down and I am going to beat the ever loving shit out of him.”

“For what? What has he done? Other than provide for his family?”

“What has he done?” He's gotten you...my sister...mixed up in this bullshit. In this life!”

“He didn't get me mixed up in anything. He didn't force me to stay with him. To fall in love with him. I did all of that willingly. It's not like he held a gun to my head and forced me to have sex with him or to marry him. You can't blame this entirely on him.”

“Like hell I can't! He got mixed up with you knowing what kind of life it would bring you. He could have just walked away and left you alone. And that's what he should have done. Even if you guys just fucked each other and then went your separate ways! But to get you tied up in more than that? Let you get mixed up in that life? He should have just fucked you and left you alone.”

She smirks. “I honestly never thought I'd hear you say that. That a guy should have just fucked your sister and took off.”

“I never thought I'd have to say it. But this isn't a normal guy. He's a fucking mercenary! He kills people!”

“And saves people,” she reminds her brother.

“I don't give a shit. Killing people sort of takes the shine away from saving them, don't you think? He had this life all along and he never should have let you get mixed up in it. If you loved you the way he says he does, he would have cut you loose. He wouldn't have wanted you to live this life. Why would you want this for someone you love?”

“Kyle, I got into this life knowing what he did and knowing what he's capable of. He didn't force me into anything, okay? You can't hold Tyler totally responsible for this. Because he's a good man and he's a good husband and he's a great father. And you can't deny him any of those things.”

“I didn't say he wasn't any of those things. But just because he's those things, doesn't mean he's not a goddamn hired killer.”

“For the last time!” she shouts. “That's not all he does! He helps people! Innocent people like Ovi! And if wasn't for Tyler, I never would have gotten out of Dhaka alive. So you need to shut the fuck about him being 'hired killer' and show him some respect. Because he's so much more than his job. So much more! And if you'd all give him a goddamn chance,  you'd realize that and stop shitting all over him all the time!”

“Whoa...whoa...settle down.  I'm not mom. I don't hate the guy. You know that.”

“He's my husband. He's the father of my children. And I am fucking sick of how she treats him all the time. Because he doesn't deserve that. He's not the horrible person she thinks he is. That she tells everyone he is.”

“I know that.  And I've never thought that about him. Ever. Like I said, he's a good shit. And he treats you well and he treats my niece and my nephews even better. And you know much I adore those kids. Like they're my own. I would do anything for those kids. And they wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him kicking in some DNA.”

“I'm just so tired of her shit and I know she's going to get on a tirade about him and I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with that. I'm worried about him and I miss him and I'm sick all the time and I'm so goddamn hormonal because of this baby!”

“Alright...easy...easy...” Kyle chuckles, and rubs the back of her neck soothingly.  “Just calm down.”

“I don't know what is wrong with me. It is so bad this time around. My hormones are out of control! They've never been this bad before.”

“”You're kidding right? They have been this bad before.”

“When?”

“When you were pregnant with the twins. You were off the charts insane when you were having them. Don't you remember? You were either crying or you were raging. No in between. Who was the one that was there? When Tyler was away? Who came to spend time with you and help out with Millie? I did. I was the one who had to bear the brunt of your hormones. I remember it very well.”

“Maybe I was a little...off.”

“A little off the reservation, maybe,” Kyle laughs and she glares at him.

“You're going be okay, kid,” he assures her. “You and that baby are going to be just fine. And I promise I won't kill Tyler when he gets home.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. Because I kind of  like him and I like having him around.”

“I may break some of his bones or mess up that face of his.”

“Yeah, not the face, okay? He's kind of nice to look at it and I'd like to keep him that way.  Just don't go off on him. He's having a hard time and he doesn't need that shit. He's trying so hard. To keep his shit together. To keep us together. He's not a bad person, K.”

“I know he's not. And I know he's wildly and crazily in love with you. I've never doubted that for a second. I just worry about you, Esme. This is a hell of a life to be caught up in.”

“He's keep me and the kids safe for five and a half years. I trust him. With my life. With their lives. I'm safe with him. We're safe with him.”

Kyle nods slowly, considering her words.

“I just want this to be over with,” she laments.  “I just want him to come home. And stay home. Is that too much to ask?”

“You'd have to ask him that. Does he want to give it up?”

“This is his last job. He's done after this. And it's time. Because it's starting to break him down. I hate what it's doing to him. What it's doing to us.  I just want him home.”

“Soon,” Kyle says. “I'm sure whatever he's up to, it'll be over soon and he'll be back. He'll come home, kid. You know he will.”

She nods in confirmation, then leans the side of her head against the cool glass of the window. Seeking some relief for the overwhelming fear and loneliness threatening to swallow her whole.

[rebelcourtesan]

My Thoughts on Redemption in Season 5 of She-Ra

Our three candidates are Catra, Hordak, and Shadow Weaver.  

I’m not against redemption arcs, but for me redemption shouldn’t be as simple as “I’m on your side now!”  “Yay!  Let’s be bestest friends!” 

All the shit they have done doesn’t just get swept under the rug.  The years of war that Hordak brought shouldn’t be ignored by all of the characters, Shadow Weaver’s abuse and manipulation not be forgotten, and Catra’s actions not so easily forgiven.

And also, these characters shouldn’t go down the redeeming path without losing what what made them so fascinating.  

To he deserving of redemption, the character must recognize their actions as wrong, wish to make amends without benefit to themselves, and has no wish to cause further harm.  

If Hordak is to be redeem, it will be Entrapta that sets him down the path, which began back in season 3 with her open acceptance of him.  

Living his life as a clone of a hive mind, he was either an outlier that found his own consciousness or came across it naturally through unforeseen events.  His ‘defect’ as a clone is what sets in motion the events we see in SPOP.  Upon crash landing on an alien planet, he sets himself on a mission of self-worth and proving himself to a brother he could never please.  For years, he wallow in self-loathing and doubt of his worth until Entrapta openly befriends him in a beautiful show of acceptance.  

I’ve already spoke at great length about their growing romance.  Going forward, once Hordak is reunited with Entrapta, my prediction is he’s going to go through a state of severe depression from the open and brutal rejection of the being whom he had struggle for so long to appease.  It is going be through Entrapta’s love and acceptance that will break him out of his melancholy and set him on the path to redemption.

It may not seem like it, more like survival because if Horde Prime should get his hands on Hordak again, it’s likely he’ll do away with the defect once and for all.  So Hordak is going to be in a position to help the Rebellion against Horde Prime which will make him quite instrumental as he would know more about the Imperial Horde’s inner workings.  

Yet, this would begin as a benefit to himself, but it can transition to something he would do solely for Entrapta.  He may project his desperate need for acceptance onto her, but also find it in others.  I can easily see Bow, who is ever quick to offer his friendship to enemies (Kyle and Catra and Adora, when they first met her).  

Honestly, I don’t think he’s going to be an openly accepted member of the Rebellion or BFF squad.  Realistically, (Granted this is a kid’s show) he won’t be accepted by everyone because of the years of pain he had caused with the Evil Horde.  When the show ends, I strongly believes he will leave Etheria to undo the damaged caused by Horde Prime by teaching freed clones to become individuals and dismantling the Empire by returning freedom to the universe.  

And maybe Entrapta will by his side.

It’s harder for me to make predictions for Catra.  After Double Trouble’s earth shattering “It’s not them, it’s you” speech, it depends on what Catra wants to do with that revelation.  

Was it enough to push her to changing her ways or is it going to take another trigger?  Perhaps its seeing Glimmer getting abused while she’s the favored girl in Horde Prime’s eye.  The one thing that Catra had yearned for was acceptance and validation from a parental/authority figure.  Shadow Weaver never gave it to her and Hordak only gave it to her after she betrayed Entrapta and outright lied and deceived her way into Hordak’s graces.

Horde Prime gives her the validation she so craves while Glimmer is locked away in her ‘guest chambers’, but she’s still not happy.  

If she’s to start the path of redemption, then it would have to be through Glimmer, the one she has wronged the most.  True, she has caused many problems for Adora, abused Scorpia, and betrayed Entrapta, but she was the cause of Glimmer losing her mother and pushed her to using a Weapon of Mass Destruction to destroy the Horde.  

It’ll be an uneasy alliance of mutual benefit to be freed to Horde Prime, but it’s a good place to start.  However, Catra would have to make amends with the others she had hurt.  I can see Scorpia and Entrapta forgiving Catra easily, but Adora will have a hard time trusting her after years(?) of fighting each other on opposing sides.  

Don’t forget, the first season Adora saw Catra as someone as still being manipulated by the Horde and Shadow Weaver and had hoped she would come over to the Rebellion side with her, then in season 2 thru 3 it became a bitter rivalry between them.  

Then at the end of season 3, when Catra opened the portal out of spite, it crossed over into outright enemies.  It won’t be as easy to transition back into friends/lovers so quickly.  It might take the whole season for that to happen.  

And above all, if she wishes for redemption, her pattern of abusive behavior and allow herself to care for others and let them care for her.

I have very mixed feelings about Shadow Weaver.  Good villain, but terrible mother figure.  She’s the cause of the rivalry between Catra and Adora and is the instrument of most of Catra’s issues.  Not to mention, being the likely cause behind the Horde’s success in subjugating most of Etheria.  

She’s a manipulative, power hungry witch who uses the potential in others to realize her own goals.  Twice she had switched sides.  She tried to gain power through Micah and when that backfired, she switched to the Horde.  When Catra imprisoned her, she switched sides to the Rebellion and weaseled herself into being Queen Glimmer’s mentor.  

I wouldn’t trust this person not to offer her services to Horde Prime, but the biggest difference is that Horde Prime is a self-confident narcissist who’ll see no need of a mentor or advisor.  So if she tries that, she’s going to get screwed over royally which she’ll deserve.  

If she’s going to be redeemed, she has to be sorry for her actions.  Thus far, I’ve seen no sign of remorse on her part for her treatment of Adora and Catra and betrayals.  

I do see her aiding the Rebellion against Horde Prime for survival.  I’m not sure what the writers have in store for her, but we got less than two weeks until we find out.    

[angryteapot]

Healer of My Heart

Pairing: Bruce Banner x Avenger!Healer!Reader

Summary: Bruce’s injuries may be irreversible to even the most advanced technology, but not if you have anything to say about it. 

Warnings: <<*ENDGAME SPOILERS*>> feels, slight angst

Word Count: 3105

Request:@no1brucebannerfangirl requested “Can I suggest a Bruce Banner x Reader where the reader has healing powers and is able to repair Bruce’s arm? ‘Cuz I heard that his arm injury is permanent and THAT’S NOT OKAY!”

A/N: Since Reader is a healer, I took the liberty of changing a few extra canon things! Hope you enjoy it hon!

You all stood in silence - it was done. The stones were all in place, and it was time for someone to wear it. You were the first to shakily reach for the Iron Gauntlet, but several hands grabbed at you, pulling you away from the box.

"It should be me," you snapped. "My powers… we've seen what it did to Thanos, and Rocket told us what happened when the guardians wielded one stone. Who knows what it would do to a mortal? My advanced healing might be able to handle it.

"Besides, compared to all of you, I'm the most expendable. You're Earth's mightiest heroes. I'm a healer. The world doesn't depend on my existence like it does all of yours."

They looked uneasy - you made a pretty solid argument about your powers, but you were too precious to all of them. You may have been 'just a healer,' but you had made them each a better person, and you really held the team together in tough times. Bruce was the first to speak up.

"You can't do this Y/N, we won't let you. Me least of all. Besides, the gamma, it's like… it’s like I was made for this."

He nodded to someone behind you, and iron-clad arms circled you waist, pulling you back.

"No. No! Let me go, Tony, let me go!" You fought against his hold and almost broke away, but Steve caught you and caged you into his chest, immobilizing you.

"Steve. Steve let me go. Please! It has to be me. Not him, please no!"

You beat against his chest with your fists and tried to escape his hold, but it was useless. Steve looked down at you with a remorseful look as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I really am. But Banner's right. And it's his decision." Steve nodded to Bruce, and you struggled even harder as he reached for the Iron Gauntlet.

Bruce smiled sadly at you and breathed, "It'll be okay. Let me do this."

Traitorous tears escaped your eyes as Tony covered the three of you with his holo-nano shield. A tense moment as the gauntlet expanded, an ethereal and foreboding glow, and then Bruce was yelling in agony as a myriad of colors and power visibly flowed through his veins. You clamped your hands over your mouth to contain your own screams. Steve was trying to cover you view of Bruce, but you couldn't look away.

It should have been you.

> > > > > > >

A metallic snap, and the air was suddenly lighter. Bruce was splayed out, right arm a charred, smoking mess. Tony's suit was administering a suture spray to suppress the damage already done, but you knew it wouldn't be enough. You ripped away from Steve's loosened grip and stumbled forwards, dropping to your knees at Bruce's side.

"Move. Move!" You nudged Tony out of the way and cradled Bruce's face, your hand barely covering the curve of his jaw, but his groans subsided and he leaned into your hand nonetheless. You gingerly placed your other hand on his injured arm, letting your powers take over.

Bruce let out a relieved breath as the charred and cracked skin of his arm started to very slowly knit together, so slowly it was nearly imperceptible. You could see the muscle and sinew slowly rebuilding itself beneath the charred mess, the semi-healed skin turning from ashy gray to a sickly green.

Whew. It was working. You slumped a little, leaning to hug Bruce as you continued to heal his arm. It was taking more of your energy than you had anticipated, and the process was much too slow for your liking. The skin was still damaged, his arm immobile and emaciated as you crumpled onto his chest.. God, you were tired.

Bruce's left hand gently caressed your head, the sight and feel slightly comical due to his hulking size. Heh, you were really going loopy if you were making horrible puns.

Your hearing was muffled, and you could barely make out Bruce's voice saying, "Y/N, please stop. You're wearing yourself out. I'll be fine, I promise."

You tried to respond, you really did, but the words just wouldn't form on your tongue. Your mouth was too tired, brain a muddied mess. A hazy voice pierced your thoughts.

"Guys, I think it worked." Scott Lang's disbelieving laughter was heard in the background, scarcely leaving his lips before the air vibrated and the building shook, suddenly exploding the space around you.

Panic filled you as the shock-wave sent everyone careening in different directions. The floor gave way beneath you, plummeting you into unknown depths. The mix of emotions and exhaustion you were experiencing, with the sudden adrenaline and panic, was too much for your over-stimulated body and you blacked out as you and Bruce fell into the darkness.

> > > > > > >

Soft. But… firm? You opened your eyes with a groan, seeing nothing but darkness. Your body hummed with nervous energy, exhausted but alert. A rattling cough, a strained groan, the shifting of metal and concrete. Your ears were suddenly assaulted with a symphony of sounds.

Your eyes soon adjusted, and you saw Bruce straining to hold up a giant slab of concrete that threatened to crush you both. Gasping, you scrambled to move, but you were pinned to the spot.

"No Y/N, don't move," Bruce grunted out the words, and you heeded the warning.

Taking stock of your surroundings, you were filled with dread at the sight of the obliterated building. How were you even alive after an explosion like that? The answer - Bruce. His body was shielding yours, half smothering you as he struggled to both keep you safe, and to hold up the concrete.

"Bruce, what happened?" Your hushed whisper seemed loud in the space between dripping water and crumbling foundation.

"Explosion. Barely managed to save you," he grunted again, shifting to stabilize his grip.

"Okay. Okay. Oh god, I hope the team is okay. We're gonna be okay, right? We have to be." You rambled hysterically as you looked around, trying to shut yourself up, but your mouth kept moving without your consent.

"Maybe… maybe I can call for help. Somebody will come, right? Those bastards are too stubborn to die. Oh god, please don't let them be dead. This isn't helping."

Bruce let out a strained chuckle, "No, no it's not helping, but I'm just glad it's you I'm trapped with. Even in an impossible situation, you can make me laugh.”

"Very touching, but could you bozos stop yapping and help me out from under here?"

Rocket's pained voice echoed in the space around you. Another groan, and you heard Rhodey's voice ring out, "I got you buddy, just hold still."

You heard a metallic clang, Rocket's relieved sigh, and the thud of more falling concrete.

"Rocket? Rhodey? You guys okay?"

"Yeah Y/N, we're fine now. You and Banner okay? Keep talking so we can find you."

"Oh thank goodness. Rhodey, be careful. We're stuck, and the area's unstable. Is anyone else around?"

Rhodey's voice grew closer, "No, just us, as far as I can tell. Hang tight, we're coming to you."

"Wow. Okay. We're gonna need backup for this."

As they came into view, Bruce snorted and you sassed, "Y'think? We figured we'd just chill out here, maybe have a picnic. Care to join?"

Rocket laughed dryly, "Ha ha. Okay, wise-ass. I'm going to see if anybody else survived."

"No, wait! It's safer to stick together -"

You were cut off by Bruce's shout, curling in on yourself as he suddenly scooped you towards him and strained to hold the concrete up.

"… Hello?"

Nothing had ever sounded so beautiful as Scott's echoing voice.

"Scott! We're over here! Be careful though, everything's unstable."

You saw his miniaturized form navigating the rubble, and you nearly cried when he said, "Oh hey! What's up guys? Here, let me take care of that for you."

In the blink of an eye, Scott was a giant, grabbing the four of you in one hand as he flicked the huge slab of concrete away.

"Okay gang, let's go find the others," Scott's optimism was astounding.

As he carried you all to safety, you started to heal Bruce's arm again. He knew that resistance was futile, so he sat back in Scott's palm and let you do your thing. "This is so weird. I'm used to being the biggest one around here." You just laughed at Bruce's glum face.

The team was soon reunited outside the destroyed compound, the relief short-lived as you now faced Thanos' army.

"Suit up kid, can't leave our super-medic without protection."

You caught the bracelet that Tony had tossed your way - your very own nano tac suit. You grinned and tossed him a lazy salute as you activated it.

> > > > > > >

"On your left."

You were exhausted. Again. But you supposed that running around trying to heal your wounded teammates would do that to a girl.  As you had been healing Tony's concussion, you had looked around to see Steve standing alone against Thanos and his entire army.

So yeah, when you heard Sam's voice over the comms, you choked back a sob of relief. They were back.

After Steve's triumphant "Avengers, assemble" call to arms, it was chaos. You darted around trying to heal and patch up as many people as you could. There were so many allies on the battlefield, it was so hard to keep track of what was happening. You flitted around, doing your best to heal the injured and moved on to the next person. The battle was still raging when you saw it - Tony and Thanos in a clearing. You raced towards them with an unnatural speed.

There was a small shock-wave when Tony snapped his fingers.

"Stupid, dramatic bastard," you sobbed as you fell at his side, his vacant stare crushing your heart.

"C'mon Tony, stay with me. We need you, the world needs you," You slammed your hands against his chest, draining all your energy just to heal his deteriorating heart. One last effort - "Morgan needs you."

With those words, you pushed your remaining energy into healing him, and you briefly heard, "Kid?" before your vision faded.

> > > > > > >

Ugh. Everything hurt. Newly conscious with eyes still closed, you tried to gather your bearings. What the hell had happened? Oh. Right. You had almost killed yourself trying to save Tony… Tony! Your eyes flew open and you saw yourself in a sterile-looking, but comfortably homey, room with a sleeping Bruce at your bedside.

You put your hand over his large one resting on the bed, and promptly fell asleep again.

You woke days later, feeling a lot better. Each member of the team visited you and caught you up on what had happened after the battle with Thanos. The others came and went, but Bruce remained a constant.

"So let me get this straight… we won?"

"Yep."

"And Thanos and his goons dusted?"

"That's correct."

"And Tony's okay?"

"Well, I wouldn't say okay, exactly, but he's alive thanks to you. He's on the mend."

"Oh thank goodness. Which brings me to my next question. We're in…?"

"Wakanda."

"And I almost died."

"Yes. Which I'm still pretty pissed about."

"Hey! I couldn't let Morgan lose her dad."

"And that's why I adore you, but I can't stand to lose anyone else. Especially not you."

"… I'm sorry about Nat. I know you two used to  be close," your voice softened and you fiddled with the blanket covering you. "I miss her, Bruce."

He gently massaged your hand, lost in his thoughts now. "I miss her too, Y/N. I really did try to bring her back."

> > > > > > >

"And how's my injured healer doing?"

You smiled at the young girl that walked in. "Shuri! Well, I'm still alive, thanks to you. A little queasy, but it'll pass. How's Tony doing?"

"Stark is progressing well. You did the most important part and saved his heart, the rest is manageable. He should wake soon." Shuri talked as she scanned your body with her kimoyo beads and studied the data.

"You're healing nicely as well. Try not to use up that healing power until you're fully recovered, hm?" She hummed and looked pointedly at Banner before waving goodbye.

You looked at Bruce in confusion, "What did she mean by that?"

"Hm? Oh nothing, it's nothing," his left hand went from cupping his face, to scratching his neck, then settling at an odd angle on his lap. You noticed his right arm remained immobile.

You narrowed your eyes at him, "You're a terrible liar, Bruce. Tell me."

He sighed and lifted his right sleeve - arm still emaciated and damaged.

"You mean… Shuri couldn't…?"

"No. Despite everything that she tried, the only thing that can even begin to repair it is… well, you."

"Ah. I now understand why she said that."

"Yep."

"Shit. And now all I wanna do is fix it."

"Yeah I thought as much," Bruce only sighed.

> > > 6 Months Later > > > >

"Hold still please."

"It's itchy."

"I haven't even put it on you yet, you big green baby!"

"I meant my arm."

"Yeah well, that's what happens when something takes forever to heal," You eye the sling. "Well, mostly."

"I can't even tie my own tie."

You smile, "And that's why I'm the one tying it for you."

Your fingers continue their work, carefully folding and manipulating the fabric.

"How'd you learn to tie a tie, anyways?" Bruce fidgets until you poke him in the chest pointedly.

You shrugged, "My mom taught me, said I should always know how to do thing 'just in case.' And hey, lookie here, she was right! It's certainly come in handy now."

You pat the perfect half-windsor knot, letting him know you were done. "Ta-da! Lookin' sharp in your suit there, Banner."

"Thank you Y/N. You look beautiful, by the way. "

"Why thank you, Sir Jeffers," you say with a laugh.

"Sir… what?" Bruce just looks confused.

"Eh, it's from a cartoon thing. You ready?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh wait! Last minute healing session!"

"Y/N…"

"Hush, it'll only take a minute. Slow as it may be, every little bit gets you closer to normal."

You spent a few minutes channeling your energy into his still-injured arm. It was mostly back to normal, the skin his now-normal green and the muscle mass was almost back to its original state, but still a work in progress.

"Thank you, Y/N." The quiet emotion in Bruce's voice put a lump in your throat.

"You're very welcome, Bruce." You pat his arm and stood up, a little weaker from the healing now.

Brushing your hands together and smoothing out your stylish pant suit, you grinned and said, "Now let's get to our seats, I can't wait to see Pepper's dress!"

Bruce offered you his good arm to escort you out. "Why are they having another wedding, again?"

You took his arm, "Because half our friends were dusted, and the remaining ones had a stick up their ass at the time? Besides, now Morgan and Peter can be the flower children, while Harley is a dashing groomsman! Peter is still a little miffed about that," your laugh was music to his ears, and he couldn't help but smile.

You made it to your seats and sat through the ceremony. It was breathtaking, and you choked up as Tony and Pepper said their vows. Even old man Steve shed a tear and smiled a little wistfully. You had offered to regenerate his cells, but he had declined, saying he'd had enough lifetimes, and it was time to step down. You were a little sad, but you'd understood and respected his choice.

The ceremony ended, and the reception was now in full swing. Tony and Pepper walked up to you and Bruce, hugging you both tightly before Tony quipped, "Hey kid, where's my wedding present?"

"Tony!" You laughed as Pepper smacked him on the back of his head.

"What, saving your life and fixing your arm wasn't enough?" You crossed your arms and stared at him with a raised brow.

"I - I wasn't -"

Your straight face split into a shit-eating grin  at his floundering. "Oh my god, your face! Priceless. You know I'm kidding. What the hell am I supposed to buy a billionaire? I got you the Avenger set of Hot Wheels."

Tony shook his head and Pepper just laughed. He grew serious as he pulled you into a hug and whispered, "I really owe you, kid. You've given me the greatest gift I could ever have asked for." You pulled away, both of you misty eyed, before you shared a parting nod as the newlyweds went to greet others.

Bruce stuck by your side throughout the night, and you eventually ended up on the dancefloor, his good arm wrapped around your waist.

You looked up at Bruce and joked, "I can't believe you made me heal Tony first. We could have been properly dancing."

He smiled sweetly. "You take good care of me. And besides, we'd never be able to dance properly, I'm more than twice your size." He paused, "And I couldn't let Morgan see her dad like that, not if you could help him."

You practically melted from his pure and sweet demeanor.

"And that, dear Bruce, is why I adore you."

Dancing with only one arm was awkward, so you discreetly did the last bit of healing needed on his arm and said, "My feet hurt, can you pick me up please?"

Bruce looked at you a little funnily, but complied with his good arm and held you to his wide chest, you being seated in the crook of his elbow and arms around his neck. You slyly undid the strap to the sling behind his back and let it fall to the ground.

"What the…? Aw man, hold on Y/N, give me a second please." Bruce saw the sling fall and bent to let you down and grab it, but you deliberately 'lost' you balance and fell back.

Bruce gasped and reflexively went to catch you with his right arm, catching and cradling you before you could hit the floor.

"That was stupid," he admonished. "You could have gotten a concussion or -"

You grinned up at his dumbfounded look.

"Cat got your tongue?" you cheekily asked.

"You - you - healed me? Completely?"

"Yep! Now c'mon and put me down, you owe me a proper dance!"

Bruce shook his head and smiled adoringly, "You're really something, you know that?"

"Only for you," you sighed happily. This was it, this was home - in Bruce's arms, surrounded by your crazy makeshift family.

[hellfire-state-of-mind]

Not Fit to be a Hero

Part 1

Telepath!reader au

Warnings: not any in this chapter (maybe none at all?)

Word Count: 1564

A/N: Ok so I have no idea how long this whole thing is going to be but if I waited until I finished the whole thing and then posted it as one long fic, it would’ve been long enough for me to worry about people wanting to sit and read it (maybe 4-5k, maybe more?) Idk what y’alls preferences are for fic length so yeah I’m just gonna split it up into parts. Like I said, I haven’t finished writing the whole thing but I will (eventually) and there will be more parts. Maybe only like 3 or 4 parts total (I guess like a mini-series).

“Telepaths aren’t inherently evil-” you try again, but the senior hero cuts you off.

“Mind readers aren’t inherently evil,” he says. “Mind controllers are. None of us can trust you when you can force any of us to do anything at any moment.”

“But I wouldn’t-”

“But you could.” Stark’s gaze is hard. You look around at the others gathered behind him- Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner. They all hold the same cold, emotionless expressions. Their decision was final. “We can’t trust you, which means you can’t be a hero. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t trust me? What about her?” You gesture at the small, ginger-haired girl shrinking back from me. Wanda Maximoff. Who you thought was your friend. At least up until now. “We have the same abilities. She could turn on you just as easily as I could. Why trust her and not me?”

“Wanda has already proven her loyalty to the Avengers. You, on the other hand, refused to help the last time we asked you to. So what makes you think we would just welcome you back with open arms this time?”

“I was a kid back then, I was scared! I didn’t know what to do so I ran! How can you decide whether you trust me or not based on what I did when I was 15?”

Tony huffed through his nose. “Alright, I’ve had enough.” He flips the Iron Man mask onto his face and raises his hand at you, his repulsors whining as they charged up. “You have our answer. Now get. Out.”

You look pleadingly at Wanda one last time, but she avoids your gaze. Defeated, you turn and walk to the elevator. The doors open but you don’t enter when you hear Wanda’s voice in your head. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You think back, “It’s not your fault, Wanda. I don’t blame you. But don’t reach out to me. They’ve made it clear what will happen if they see me again.” You walk into the elevator, turn around, and see her look of regret just as the doors close.

-

You enter your tiny apartment, fuming, and slam the door closed with your mind. One chance. That’s all I needed, you think. They wouldn’t give me even one chance to prove myself. I guess one telepath on the team is enough. You throw yourself down on my bed and close your eyes, holding back a scream of frustration. I’ve caused enough trouble today as it is, let’s not add property damage to the list. You think back to your days with HYDRA. The experiments.

They didn’t know what powers you would manifest after using Loki’s scepter on you. When you started presenting as a telepath, Wanda was assigned as your mentor. You trained with her, she taught you everything you needed to know. Only you were stronger. She weaves her magic with her hands. You can crush a grown man’s skull to dust with a single thought. And you have, while training, gauging just how powerful you were. When the Avengers attacked your base, you escaped with Wanda and her brother, Pietro, without a single scratch. Wanda didn’t let you fight like she and Pietro did. She made you run and hide, told you to wait for them to find you. And they did. But the base had been destroyed. The three of you retreated into the city, Sokovia. There, you were recruited by Ultron, a malevolent AI created by none other than Tony Stark; he wanted to wipe out all human life and start Earth’s population anew and to do it, he needed Sokovia. The next time the Avengers attacked, the city was flying thousands of feet in the air. Had it dropped, the impact would’ve killed billions. Wanda and Pietro aided in the evacuation, having abandoned Ultron when you finally learned of his entire plan. You left, too, but left with the evacuees. You ran. Over the years, your psychic link with Wanda had never faltered; you shared in her pain when Pietro died, you felt her remorse when her mission in Lagos went awry. You whispered to her in those times, trying to ease her pain. You often talked through the link. You could see her, she could see you, you could both find out where the other was if you just closed your eyes reached out. But you never saw each other face to face until today.

When you open your eyes again, the sun is rising over New York City. You can hear your next door neighbor bumping around, getting ready for the day. You turn your head and see Avengers Tower directly through your window. The events of yesterday flood your mind and a new wave of fury crashes over you. You stare at the city skyline and the glass in every window in the small apartment shatters. You close your eyes again and sigh. It’s bad enough I don’t actually pay for this place, I’m just squatting here. Someone probably heard that and they’re on their way to investigate. You open your eyes and sit up with a groan. “Well, better be gone before they get here.” As if on cue, there’s the rattling of a key turning a lock and the front door swings open. Soft footsteps pad closer to your room. As soon as their head pokes around the doorway, you lock eyes with them. The landlord. Maintaining eye contact, you slowly approach him as he backs away. You lead him out of the apartment and don’t break your concentration until his head disappears down the staircase. You let out the breath you were holding and rush back into your former home, throw what few belongings you have into your worn duffle bag, and get out, closing the door softly this time. You sprint down the stairs and onto the already busy city sidewalk.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You hear Wanda’s voice whispering in your mind. “Please talk to me.”

“I’m fine,” you reply curtly. You shut out her voice and start walking.

-

“Tony, you should see this.” Steve turns the computer to face him. Tony takes off his safety glasses and reads what’s on the screen.

“ ‘Last night, another crime was solved by the NYPD.’ ” Tony dictates. “ ‘Similar to other cases solved earlier this month, the suspect walked straight into the police department and confessed to his crime.’ I don’t get it, why would he just walk in and confess?”

“Apparently, after his official arrest, he claimed that he was being controlled. That he was forced to confess.”

“What, like threatened?”

“No. Actually controlled. He said he felt like a puppet with someone else moving the strings. He’s not the only one. There have been 5 other cases solved this last month alone, all ending with the suspects just waltzing in and confessing and claiming they were being controlled. No one knows who’s controlling them but whoever it is has been officially named the Puppeteer by the media. Someone even thinks they got a picture of them.” He pulled up a slightly grainy picture of a figure in a mask and dark purple suit.

“Huh,” Tony breathed out. “So, what, you think this Puppeteer could be a potential threat?”

“I’m not sure.” Steve admitted. “I did notice, and I could be completely going out on a limb here, that these things started happening right after that incident with Y/N.”

“The telepath? Wanda’s friend?” Tony tried to remember.

“Yeah, her. Do you think this is something she would do?”

“Yes,” came a voice from behind the two men. Wanda. “It is. All she wanted when she came to see you was a chance to prove that she could help but you didn’t let her. This would be her way of proving herself.”

“You’re absolutely positive this is her?” Tony asked.

“No. She somehow managed to block me out, I can’t see her anymore. I can talk to her, but I have no idea where she is or what she’s doing. But this feels like it’s her.”

“What do you propose we do? If it is her?”

“I...I don’t know. If it is her then we need to be careful how we approach her. If she feels threatened, she’ll fight. And I know her power, she could easily take down all of us and come out of it unharmed.”

“I say before we think about confronting them, we need to decide if Puppeteer is a threat,” Steve chimed in. “If they’re not a threat, then wouldn’t it be best to just leave them alone? From what we’ve seen, they’ve only been doing good. They haven’t hurt anyone-”

“Yet.” Tony cut him off. “They haven’t hurt anyone yet. Telepaths with that level of power are dangerous, they can be unpredictable and if it is Y/N then I think yes, we should consider them a threat.”

“But we don’t know that it’s her. We know it might be but what if it’s just another telepath?” Wanda defended.

“Tell me, Wanda, how many telepaths do we know? Hm? Not just that, how many telepaths do we know are in New York? 2. You and her.” Tony paused. “I think it’s her and I think we need to go after her. I’ll call for a team meeting.” That was all he announced before leaving the room.

[cvssndra]

@downstvged​

peyton commandeers his dad's cadillac ct6 for the night: it's the vehicles first out-of-garage debut since last fall. the senior pellegrino has always preferred his official fire department dodge to the sleeker, luxurious cadi. but peyton knows his longboard just won't cut it for tonight, so he sifted through his father's desk until he found the proper keys. 

 he parks in the street by the pressman house and sits for several minutes. checks his hair in the mirror. straightens and re-straightens his bow tie. he'd been so nervous getting ready that monty had to do the honors for him. his outfit is simple and sleek: a black tux with a gold vest and tie ensemble. his fingers fumble with the corsage's plastic container as he exits the car and tries to calm his racing mind.

 soon, he reaches the front step ( and nearly trips over himself on the way ). breathe. then he's ringing the bell and rocking back and forth on his heels, deep eyes scanning the front façade of the house, its numbers, its siding, before landing on his feet. are his shoes too black? too leather? too plain? peyton gulps and resets his stance, holding the corsage behind his back and squaring his shoulders. that door will open soon. any second, it'll swing on its hinges –– and cassandra will be on the other side. his date. peyton holds his breath and waits.

cassandra was having a fight with the mirror, attempting to justify this dress. it was not a dress she would normally even look at but when she’d bought it in the first place, she also hadn’t really been expecting to go. things tended to go wrong for cassandra whenever she looked forward to things. her twelfth birthday party, her middle school graduation, the midnight premiere of harry potter and the deathly hallows part two, and of course her favorite, the school trip into the mountains that landed them here. but here she is, in the dress she bought to make her mother feel better, that she hadn’t really looked at before buying. she was just thrilled it fit. “fine, i’ll wear it. but i hope you feel really dumb if he doesn’t show,” she argued to the mirror. as if the mirror were arguing back, the doorbell rang. she squinted at the mirror angrily.

 “allie! allie, can you get that?” she got a loud and angry ‘i’m busy’ in response. with a huff she practically jumped down the steps and ran to the door throwing it open and grabbing it to keep it from hitting the wall. her eyes moved from the door to him, a beaming grin replacing whatever negative energy she’d previously been exuding. “hi,” she practically cooed.

the door whips open and peyton feels all the wind knock out of his chest in one fell swoop. cassandra stands in front of him and he has to blink a few times to ensure he isn't dreaming. when she speaks, his mind finally snaps back into gear –– his lips, which had previously fallen agape, warmed into a bright smile. 

 " hi, "  he greets back, breathlessly. peyton drinks it all in: she practically puts the sun out of business. " you look... "  he trails off, searching for a word that can possibly do her justice. " you look amazing. "  stunning, he thinks, after it's too late. breathtaking. beautiful.  it takes nearly dropping the corsage behind his back for peyton to remember he's holding it. he brings it out into view, casting cassandra a hopeful grin.

 " i... i got you this. "  white flowers. gold ribbon. the corsage is simple, understated –– he spent half a day mulling over different combinations to find the proper size and arrangement. the result? a subtle piece strung together onto a white pearl bracelet. it wouldn't take away from cassandra's ensemble: not that anything ever could. " it's... uh, white roses, "  he says, and kicks himself for it. as if she can't already see that. he recalls what kelly said about the flowers' meaning and peppers it in with a timid smile and a gentle nod toward the arrangement. 

 " they symbolize um... dignity. nobility. beauty. "  honey-hazel eyes lift. his next thought goes unsaid, but it's written all over his face. all things i see in you.

her lips pressed themselves under her teeth when he looked at her.  it was too much, it wasn't her. she should change. but then he said she looked amazing and she felt her cheeks warm, betraying her once again. "thanks. so do you! and look-" she gestures between them, "we match." her brain was doing that thing where it forgot how to work in his presence. 

her eyes dropped to the corsage and widened. "oh- you didn't have to-" she took it, admiring it in it's original glory before it inevitably got destroyed. "it's beautiful." she ran her finger along the bottom to pop it open and gently removed it from the box. "it's supposed to go on the left hand but i'm left handed so i'm going to put it on the right. hopefully it'll be less damaged that way," she rambled, slipping it on. she admired some more, before looking up. she sucked up all of her courage, leaned forward, and pressed her lips to his cheek. "thank you."

" thank you! i... yeah, we do." peyton dips his head with a light laugh as she points out their matching. without monty and tess's help, he would've surely botched that bit. he's always had a knack for smart dressing, but something about gold had him stumped. tess convinced him to go for this bolder black-and-gold print instead of a standard prom ensemble, and the way cassandra smiles at him? confirms this was the right move. 

he watches as cassandra gingerly dons the corsage and it's like the breath gets knocked out of him for the second time. you're beautiful, he thinks in response, and doesn't even realize he's also managed to say it, too. and then she's leaning up and kissing his cheeks and holy shit, it's like... it's like his heart's about to leap out into her hands. peyton's lips pull into a bright smile and his cheeks warm. " i –– of course, thank you, i–– "  he allows himself to drink her in again, eyes alight with admiration.  someone pinch him. this is real.  " should we... "  he gestures over his shoulder, toward the car. " should we head over ? "

cassandra looks past him at the car. part of her wants to say screw it and ask him if he wants to just stay here and hang out, not that she would use those specific words of course. she doesn't want to share him tonight, as selfish as that sounds, but she also knows their friends are there, expecting them. she nods, reaching over to grab her bag off the table where she'd left it before changing. she doesn't even bother to lock the door as she pulls it shut behind herself, closing the space between them far more than she's used to. but she is definitely not disappointed at it. "i really dig this bow tie," she grins, as she moves toward the car. "when i was little, i used to put all of the bow ties on the dog. my dad did not appreciate that." it's when they get to the car that she realizes she's not sure she's ever seen peyton drive. "no board tonight?" she teases.

she is... everything. and honestly? if prom wasn’t such a big deal? peyton might suggest they just chill out here, or at his, or just... anywhere, alone. the thought of her being whisked off by friends and other townspeople — it’s part of their reality now, but peyton can’t help but want to resist that social responsibility. as they make their way to the car, he relishes in their proximity. 

 “ yeah? “ well i dig you, he thinks, and lets it remain unspoken. “ thanks. “  at her story, he can’t help but laugh. “ you’re kidding. that dog must’ve been the best looking in all of town. “ he doesn’t know why, but that little anecdote finds a home in his heart and nests there. it’s a piece of cassandra pressman not many get to see. 

 “ no, i... i figured you might want to roll up in something a little more stylin’. “ he gestures to his dad’s car with a shrug. “ but hey, if you— if you ever want to hitch a ride sometime, you— you know who to call. “  an easy smile takes hold of his features but his heart hammers fast. peyton reaches out to open the passenger side door for his date — his date! — and steps aside. 

 “ your chariot awaits, “ he teases. “ a close second to the good old arbor zeppelin, but it’ll do. “  cue a playful wink as he meets cassandra’s gaze. slowly, slowly, he can feel the nerves melt away and roll off his shoulders.

this night was already better than anything she could dream up and she’d spent a lot of time dreaming about it. he was better than a dream as cliche as that sounded. in all the time she’d known him, she’d had a crush on him and there had never been the question of why. to her, it was obvious. and to force herself to keep him at arms length all this time had proved to be far more work than she’d planned. even now, there was a tinge of remorse. she wasn’t permanent, far from it in fact. and he deserved better. but she could have tonight. and for all she knew, he didn’t feel the same way she did. that would make this all a lot easier. her cheeks already hurt from smiling and they haven’t even left yet. 

“yes, the bow tie is definitely an a+. definitely ties the look together.” as if she knows anything about fashion. “he was the snazziest dog around, if i say so myself.” as cool as he looked on his board, she was glad he’d gone with car instead. “i don’t know if my first board experience would be very successful in these shoes,” she chuckles.

she places a hand to her chest with a, “why thank you kind sir,” and then slips into the car.

she's a dreamboat. and she doesn't even know it. as they walk to peyton's car, cassandra glows beneath the setting sun, and all peyton can do is stare and hope, hope, hope she doesn't notice. he laughs at her pun: she's clever, and it's one of the many reasons he's coveted this crush for so long.

 " you'd be surprised. i bet you'd look bad ass boarding in those heels. the x games wouldn't even know what hit 'em. "  peyton bows like an eighteenth century butler meets concierge, and the move's a bit goofy on him–– but it fits their hollywood throwback car scene. once she's inside, he gingerly shuts the passenger door and crosses over to let himself in. ( he's not blushing. he's not blushing. he's not–– )  nimble fingers turn the key in the ignition and he glances over before putting the car into gear, hand hovering over the console. 

 " all buckled up ? "  his face is going to split apart, he's grinning so hard. never mind the fact that he just sounded like an overprotective mom: he's too overjoyed to care.

was it hot or was it just him? her cheeks were in a permanent state of blush and it wouldn't go away. "you'll have to teach me one of these days." she was so distracted by him that she hadn't put her seatbelt on. it reminded her of the only time she didn't put a seatbelt on. it had been after a stint in the hospital and it had put her in a bit of a depression. her mother had told her to put her seat belt on and she'd mumbled ‘what's the point?’ she thought about that now as he checked on her. he was the point. 

her hand reached up and pulled her seat belt down. "yup." she got quiet for a minute or two. she'd managed to get this far without saying something completely ridiculous and hoped to keep it up. can't say something stupid if you don't speak, right? but she wanted him to speak, she loved hearing him speak. so she leaned her elbow on the middle armrest and leaned her chin in her palm. "tell me something."

at her confirmation, they begin the drive: and oh jeez, does peyton have to fight not to tear his eyes off the road to look at her instead. it's stupid, but he wants to make sure she thinks he's a good driver–– that he's a good, well, everything. he wants to make her feel comfortable. safe. and part of that is, like... not totaling his dad's nice car. so he uses his blinkers like he's taking the license test again, and abides by the speed limit, even though no one's around to be the wiser. 

 peyton spares cassandra a glance as they roll up to a stop sign and wishes retina-cameras weren't just things talked about in sci-fi movies. because if he could snap a picture of this moment... he'd cherish it forever. with her arm on the console and her chin propped in her hand, cassandra looks like... cassandra. for peyton, there's... there's no suitable comparison. he's no poet. but he knows when beauty defies description. 

 " something, "  he calls back with a playful wink, lips already forming a wide, cheesy grin as he returns his eyes to the road. a beat passes before he actually latches on to something remotely interesting to talk about: maybe some boarding stats? a cool history fact? 

" you've got a beautiful smile, "  he murmurs. he doesn't even register the slip-up for a moment, but then he's opening his mouth and clamping it shut like he's just... like he's just divulged federal secrets, and she might kick him out of his own car. but monty schooled him on this before. if you say something stupid, just commit to it. don't do your stupid fish out of water thing. so he doesn't. he just... runs with it. 

 " like... even right there. right now. that's... that's awesome. " eloquently done. nice. idiot. peyton times his breathing and re-situates his grip on the wheel. now is not the time to start spinning out.

she nearly chokes at the statement and starts to cough instead. she covers her mouth and mumbles a "thank you" from behind it. when she finally stops choking, she uncovers her mouth and is grinning again. "that's not what i meant but i'll take it." they were very close to prom and soon she was going to have to share him. there were a lot of things she wanted to say to him but all that came out was, "so do you." 

 she bites her cheek. it wasn't a compliment, and after that comment, he deserved one. it was a bold statement and he deserved as much. "i- like you.... a lot." she covered her face. "i'm sorry."

peyton stops breathing. " oh. "  so do you. he's thankful nobody else is on the road, because his vision nearly shorts for a second. cassandra... thinks his smile is... beautiful ?  jesus. it takes absolute will-power to keep from pulling over and asking if they can just... skip the dance and throw their own prom themselves.

he takes the final right turn onto the venue's street. he's about to say thank you, when the compliment finally processes, but then–– oh!  peyton's cheeks flush bright, only rivaled by his grin. " holy shit, "  he breathes, barely audible.  " no, don't, i–– "  they finally reach the parking lot, and peyton's never done a speedier parking job in his life. once the car's tossed into the correct gear, he turns to cassandra, only to find her face covered.

" hey, "  he prods, unclicking his seatbelt and leaning against the center armrest. " don't be sorry. "  a beat. he's saying this.  " i really like you, too. "

cassandra uncovers her face very slowly when he tells her not to be sorry. and then he says he likes her too. the thought... the idea... it's baffling.  she can feel her mouth hanging open like a goldfish and quickly closes it. she fears he wouldn't if he knew the truth but she decides she can't think like that, she likes him too much to worry about that right now. she needs to push the thought out of her head, she needs to focus on him. so she takes a deep breath and leans forward, pressing her lips against his for a moment before pulling away.

her lips meet his and peyton might as well have been stuck by a stun gun. his eyes widen and before he can even internalize the moment she's pulling away, and he's following, chasing her lips again once he finally gets it. the secondary kiss is quick, too, and light, and after a few seconds he pulls back. his eyebrows lift and he's about to apologize for taking more than what he's given, but what comes out is a breathless chuckle. " i... " 

 thisisreallife. this. is. REAL. LIFE. 

 " i–– " he gushes, face alight with wonder. " i had no idea. "

he comes in for another kiss and she's ecstatic. it means he wanted it too and she is relieved to say the least. "no idea?! and here i thought i was extremely obvious." now that she's done it once, it feels like a drug. she wants, no needs to do it again. this time she puts her hands on his cheeks first and adds a little more umpf into the next kiss.

" wh- extremely obvious? " before peyton can launch into an explanation of how extremely not obvious she's been, she swoops in for another kiss and boy, he's not about to complain. his eyes close and he meets her force with equal enthusiasm. his hands migrate to her shoulders, and one trails up to rest just below her jawline. he wants the world to stop. their lips only part when his lungs can't stretch longer without air –– but they scream to breathe her in, instead.  peyton rests his forehead against cassandra's, speechless. " ...holy crap, "  he breathes. dark lashes flutter open and deep brown eyes drink her in: he couldn't look away if he tried. feather light fingertips brush a strand of blonde out of her eyes. and then his lips bloom into a dazed smile. " hi. "

she is beaming. there is no other word for it. she has been waiting years for this. “hi,” she hums back. time feels like it’s crawling and she is one hundred percent okay with that. “we should really... go inside,” but she makes no effort whatsoever to move from this spot. as if moving would ruin it, as if they weren’t about to spend the night together at prom. and after too if she had any say in it. “we can... pick this up after? maybe? if you want.”

peyton nods. yeah. they should.  is she even aware of how beautiful she is?  peyton's hand finds cassandra's jaw and a tender smile warms his lips. " yeah, " he murmurs. " i'd like that. "  he dips his head to snatch another gentle kiss, just because he can. his middle school self is singing.

all cassandra can think about is how much better this is in real life than what she'd imagined and how she spent years assuming this feeling was unrequited. she still hasn't moved, as if leaving his touch might cause a natural disaster. as if her life depended on it. if this feeling could fix her heart, she'd be set for life just from these few minutes. "me too." only after he's pulled away again does she take a deep sigh.

 "okay, we should probably go in." it's then that she realizes his mouth is now the same shade as hers and she bites her lip to stifle the laugh. "do you- do you have a napkin or something?"

peyton's cheeks ache from smiling but he keeps on grinning, because he can't help it. all of this? it's better than he could have ever dreamed. it makes all those years spent pining totally more than worth it. and to see her feel the same? it's crazy. it's wild. he's gonna need someone to pinch him, hard. 

 " napkin? "  peyton's brow furrows a bit but he pays the item some thought. his dad's always prepared for everything –– disaster kit in the back, some kind of fire retardant in every possible place. " uh... "  peyton sifts around the center console before coming up empty. " maybe try that glove compartment ? "  it doesn't even dawn on him to ask what it's for. it doesn't matter. if a napkin's what cassandra wants, he'll give her twenty. she's got him wrapped around her finger. then he notices the look she's giving him, and he can't help but smile wider. " what ? "

she opens the glove compartment and finds a stack of paper towels. she only takes the one and closes  it back up, turning back to him. "i think you're-" she takes his chin between her fingers, "wearing more lipstick than i am now." she wipes his lips gently with the paper towel. "in a smeared, demented clown kind of way." she manages to get most of it off before turning the paper towel inside out. she reaches up to pull down the sun flap and uses the mirror to remove the remainder of her own smeared mess. "there we go."

peyton's eyebrows lift as cassandra holds his chin, and then he can't help but laugh. " demented clown. how'd you know that's always been my dream? " he's shocked by how easy this is. being with her. after years of nearly panicking just meeting her eye, it... feels amazing. like they didn't just link up. like they've been doing this for a while.  " thanks, "  he adds as he pockets the car keys and watches her perfect the lipstick they both had a hand in smudging. it brings forth a sense of giddy pride.  " so we know we're really good at making messes, huh ? "  cue a lopsided smile.

cassandra chucklees when he says that's been his dream, making sure the thought that he's her dream stays in her head. her cheeks warm at the comment about messes. she wasn't very good at those. she wasn't supposed to make messes. but she would rather make messes with him than continue living her boring, non-messy life. you need to tell him her head insisted, but she fought it away. they could have one nice night before she dropped the bombshell that was her fate. she'd only held off this long because she never thought he could like her back but now he did, and it was too late to tell him before that happened. yeah, she'd tell him after prom. or maybe tomorrow. but not now. she grinned over at him. "the faster we go in, the faster we can leave, right?"

she looks amazing, with or without lipstick smudges. and peyton wants so badly to tell her that, but... he's too busy throwing her not-so-subtle heart eyes to compose the message. he beams and nods at her question. " i think that's how it works. or... we dip our toe in and go make a blanket fort instead. "  he chuckles but... he's semi-serious. with a definitive nod, he exits his side of the vehicle and crosses over to open cassandra's door for her. " ready for some space travel ? "  stupid theme-related joke.  moron. peyton extends his hand and a charming smile anyway.

all she wants is to tell him to turn the car around so they can go make that blanket fort. but if she doesn't show up, people will talk, and they were doing that enough already. instead she pulls herself out of the car. "it's gonna be out of this world," she teased back. his hand comes out toward her and her breath hitches . this was happening. she was going to prom... with the boy she'd had a crush on for years and there were feelings. real, whole, mutual feelings. with all of these wonderful thoughts bouncing around in her head, she took his hand with a grin.

it's gonna be out of this world. peyton lets out one of those exhale laughs, through his nose. he shouldn't find that funny but he really, really does. she takes his hand and he gives hers a gentle squeeze. " oh, for sure. think aliens like to party ? "  they begin the walk to the venue's front door, but every bone in his body aches to get back in that car and just... go for a ride. chill somewhere quiet. talk and talk and talk until the sun rises. but they've got tomorrow; they've got plenty more days for that. now, he reaches forward with his free hand and pulls open the door to new ham's prom with a hopeful smile. he takes a moment to revel in it, her smile, just for him. as they step through the threshold though, arm in arm, it's time for the whole town to see cassandra pressman shine.

[riancraigjohnson-blog]

Hi, I just saw your post about having legitimate complaints about TLJ... I haven't seen it yet, but was wondering what your complaints were (and whether it's worth me spending my money going to see it). I'm not bothered by spoilers.

good evening dear! to make things easy, i’m just gonna make one hugeass post and do a bullet list.

no consistency to story-telling

you wanna add new force powers? fine! great! but keep them consistent!

yoda appears to tell luke that the jedi are garbage & should end ( yoda???? of all people???? instead of someone who would actually think that given personal experience, like, y’know, ANAKIN )

also somehow yoda can call down lightning and cause real-world damage to a tree by setting it ablaze? why hasn’t yoda or obi-wan or anakin literally just come down and stop the order by doing something like this if they can literally control nature from the afterlife????

someone ( leia )…. with no proper force training…. can somehow defy…. dying in space? and also project themselves through space while barely conscious?

rian seems to want to keep this narrative of ‘evERYonE caN HAve ThE foRCe’ but when given the chance to make one of three kids force-sensitive, one kid being a black boy, one a white girl, and one a white boy, in a series where we have leading white female and black male protagonists and a white male villain………. somehow rian decided it was best to give the white boy the force? in a trilogy where the leAD CHARACTER IS A FEMALE AND ONE OF THE LEADING MALES IS A BLACK MAN?????????? GROUNDBREAKING

snoke connected rey and kyle via force skyping, but if his whole goal was to just……….. get rey to come to the supremacy after he manipulated her to believe in kyle’s redemption, like….. why do all that shit. why not just….. read her mind. clearly he can influence people and affect people from long distances so what the fuck why would he bother with that weird force bond shit. like if vader can fucking force choke a guy over a video conference, i don’t see why it’s that much more of a stretch to just have snoke read rey’s mind or manipulate her without using kyle

luke fucking astral projecting himself onto crait, despite not knowing they were on crait, after shutting himself off from the force like 10 years prior to tlj– somehow he’s able to hold a long-term projection of himself to taunt kyle and buy time for the fleeing resistance? and then, at the end, he just….. gives up and dies? becomes one with the force? ???????

lame foreshadowing/repetition

so, when kyle and rey’s first skype session goes live, kyle makes a point of asking rey if she was causing this, this almost astral projection skype convo from light years away, only to say ‘no….. the strain would kill you.’ cue the end of the movie, where it’s revealed luke was just projecting himself all along, and…. he dies.

there’s also this scene where luke asks rey what the force is, and being inexperienced in it, she makes a comment about it being about making things float. luke says no, everything you said is not-true– its not about making rocks float, ( which is then brought back as a concept at the very end of the movie, when rey has to float rocks to free the resistance from the caves they ran into, again, bad foreshadowing. ) this is then brought back later when astral luke is facing off with kyle, and kyle says something about destroying the resistance and the jedi…. only for luke to, verbatim, say what he said to rey about every word he said being not-true.

this almost bashing it into our heads notion of ‘kill the past, it’s only holding you back’ that’s mentioned by kyle, that seems to be the central thread– the past is just that, the past. it’s time to completely ignore it and never look back. it’s time to wipe away the misty-eyed wonders of your hero worship of your childhood… the reality is that people fuck up and your heroes are nothing and in the end we all die, jan. ( what a fun, hopeful message. )

but with this message, this idea of all your heroes are dead and don’t even think of people as heroes because that’s just unrealistic and you’ll be disappointed when they fuck up because we’re all human :))) – with that message we’re then meant to leave the theater somehow emboldened because luke took up the mantle of being a legend in the end…. even though there’s no reason he should be considered one when the only people who witness this astral fight technically are kyle and the first order– the resistance didn’t watch because they were trying to escape through the base’s tunnels with the time luke was buying them. so we’re supposed to treat luke as a legend now….. or are we supposed to hate this idea of hero worship? i’m getting mixed signals.

literally everything built up in tfa…. rey’s parents/backstory, snoke’s history/why the resistance even knows about him, why kyle became evil, why rey was able to call the lightsaber over him, why luke exiled himself but left a map………… so many questions to be answered! and tfa laid out a beautiful table for johnson to sit down at and serve dinner.

only johnson decided to say fuck you, fuck your dinner, fuck everything you thought about this movie because it doesn’t matter

rey’s parents? nobodies– drunkards. sold their daughter into literal slavery for drinking money.

snoke’s backstory? doesn’t fucking matter if we hyped him up as more dangerous than vader or palpatine– he’s dead now because he apparently couldn’t sense kyle about to kill him. the man can bond two people across light years of distance, but he doesn’t notice the lightsaber that’s slowly being turned towards him? hm.

why is rey so strong with the force? because it belongs to everyone and not the elite skywalkers who literally came from slavery so fuck you for that too

luke’s exile? because he felt bad about considering killing his nephew when he probed his mind and felt he was completely evil. luke skywalker considered killing his nephew, the son of his twin sister, son of his best friend– let that sink in.

kyle’s evil…. but he’s good, right? there’s good in him? or not. for someone who rian says we can all relate with ( sorry but i don’t relate with fascists :/ ) he made it pretty clear that he wanted kyle to be the end all be all villain by the end of 8. so ??????

also why is kyle so obsessed with vader? what the fuck? guess what? you don’t get to know. fuck you again.

character assassination / regression

luke was……… not luke. clearly. mark hamill has said it’s not luke. that’s more than a bit telling.

rey’s whole story literally revolved around following luke around ahch-to while learning jack shit only to then follow kyle around trying to say there’s still good in him. ( another fun fact rian……… luke only was willing to forgive vader when he realized that was his dad. why would rey feasibly trust her abuser / han’s murderer / man who put finn into a coma so quickly unless maybe they had a prior connection, particularly familial? )

finn was turned into a joke, called a coward, called selfish, tased by rose, slapped by hux……. like finn had literally no character progression at all.

poe went from well-decorated commander of the resistance, former officer with the new republic, to hot-headed flyboy who doesn’t take orders and just needs to learn from his white superiors :)))) like……………… do i even need to say it

leia was practically non-existent, and when she was, she slapped poe and later shot at him, stunning him. which, she…. y’know………. never did to han.

chewie and r2 were literally there as props, don’t even try and tell me otherwise. r2 showed luke leia’s hologram back from anh as a means to like…. spur him into action, but??? luke literally did nothing as well even after that?

lack of lando. can i include that? rian said he ‘wanted’ to include lando but he ‘wouldn’t work’ so i think rian just owes me money for having to even try to comprehend his bullshit

hux??? y’know, the fascist general with that terrifying speech before he decimated an entire star system? that hux? he’s just comic relief now. :)

he even has a ‘your mom’ joke thrown at him which is super funny when you remember he’s a bastard and never knew his birth mom so like #goodwriting

kyle is redeemable now!! even though he’s shown no remorse and has already been offered the chance to redeem himself but he took the opportunity to say ‘fuck you’ and kill han so…. ignore all that, ignore the fact that he’s a fascist leader and massacred children and countless others………….. his uncle tried to kill him so he must be in the right :)))

phasma…. you liked phasma? strong villain woman? yeah, well, watch the most unsatisfying fight that ends in finn winning purely by luck because she falls down into a firey pit. mmmmmm that sure was satisfying? :/

regular star wars rules need not apply?

bombs can just be dropped in space because gravity exists in the vacuum of the stars apparently

but a body on a blown-open bridge can remain on the bridge instead of getting sucked out into space….?

a slow-speed ship chase where one ship is running out of fuel? cinematic gold, apparently

for some reason the first order ships chasing the resistance couldn’t have just….. sped up their ships a bit and plowed them over / took them out with tie fighters for no other reason but….. it wouldn’t be convenient that way?

there’s a lot more than this but i’m tired and should have gone to bed hours ago, so i’ll probably just reblog this sometime tomorrow and add more, but here’s this for starters!

[shidoukanae]

Mystery Masterpost 2.18

Full Masterpost: here

Previous Masterpost: here

This episode...was GREAT. For the first time in awhile I actually cared about the duel and what was happening. With the last few duels it’s more about just going through the motions to get to an objective. With this duel, it’s about needing to win from both sides, with stakes and actions and WORDS that actually make the duel exciting and not just monster after monster. Of course, this is merely my opinion but you have to admit this episode was well-done and pretty entertaining in of itself.

Now, regardless, I’ll move on to the mysteries themselves:

-For one, we now know that Ai is NOT involved with Yusaku’s past ten years ago. If we can assume that Akira learned the full truth about what happened, his words then suggest that Ai has no part in anything that went on when Yusaku was child. However, this begs the question of, at this point, how do the Ai’s fit into the plot? Akira’s questions of how the Ai fits into anything (and his seeming musing on whether or not it having free will) kind of makes me wonder if the show is subtly hinting that Ai is somehow involved in the plot but just not in the way we initially assumed...???

-Okay, so, I’m gonna say one word right here about Kusanagi and the picture below:

Bullshit. 

Kusanagi claims in this picture that he was unaware of SOL Technologies involvement in the incident of ten years past, seeming startled and surprised when Zaizen announces this. However, take a look at what he says back in episode 6:

He knew from the beginning that SOL Technologies was involved.

So, why is he suddenly claiming innocence of that fact to the audience now? Why is he acting so surprised and startled? He had been suspicious from the very start that SOL Tech was behind Yusaku’s lost memories and his own brother gone missing. Yet, here he seems completely out of whack with that fact, not even claiming “Oh, I knew it all along. I WAS right, it IS SOL who destroyed both my life and Yusaku’s”. At this point, either the writers forgot what they said in episode 6 or, as I suspect, there’s something more to Kusanagi. And, while I’m fully aware that I should be more dismissive of it because Kusanagi hasn’t truly done anything wrong yet, let’s look at something also quite peculiar about episode 7 in regards to Aoi Zaizen herself:

Look at the above picture - what is Aoi holding in episode 7? A teddy bear, right? Well, look at what she’s holding in episode 18:

As pointed out to me by @mitsi-her​ Aoi’s holding a Evilswarm Mandragora in this episode but, yet, in episode six this is clearly either contradicted or made ambiguous as Aoi, shown at nearly the same age in both images, holds a teddy bear not a creepy ass monster doll. I’d like to inquire if this suggests, for Akira, the possibility of implanted memories in his mind? If he loved his sister so much and clung onto these memories with such cherish, why does his mind seem to mess up such a simple fact as to what kind of toy Aoi is holding? And, assuming we say everything is A-Okay with Akira’s memory, when and why did Aoi switch out her mandrake for a teddy bear? Or, is it possible that said teddy bear is still the mandrake but merely “transformed” in episode 7 because we’re only seeing Akira’s memories while in episode 18, since Blue Angel’s also a witness to the “memories” Akira is talking about, we see more of the flaws in Akira’s memories vs what Aoi remembers?

Either way, the way both episode 6 and 7 seem to contradict episode 18 with both Aoi’s, Akira’s and Shoichi’s recollection is strange and fascinating to say the least. Why change certain facts of the show, why make things strange and bizarre and surreal in a show revolving around finding the truth at the heart of the mystery? There’s something definitely more to the three aforementioned characters and I’m interested to see what exactly we have in store for them.

-Ema. This episode has kept her rather sidelined this entire time but there’s something almost peculiar about her every time she appears. For example, when she says “I knew this would happen”-

-it’s almost like she’s able to predict things amazingly well ahead of time to know that whatever they found would force Akira to duel Playmaker in the end. And for someone who seems not to know what was in that data, it seems like she already well-predicted that whatever they found out would lead Akira to try and protect Playmaker’s innocence in the end which is odd because, accordinly beforehand, she didn’t know the extent of the damage SOL did.

What’s more, when Akira starts talking about his parents and how he lost them, we don’t get to see Ema’s expression. Her back is to the camera so there’s no way to tell how she feels about such an explanation. We don’t get to see if she feels remorse or surprise for the story Akira is telling or if she’s even amused that he’s trying to catch Playmaker off-guard with “feels”. Instead, we have this shot of her back which suggests nothing about what she’s experiencing while Playmaker, on the other hand, looks a bit distraught. It makes her character almost more “suspicious” in some way, more “callous” and “uncaring” and rather cold-hearted for what is happening. In a way, it almost makes me question what type of relationship Ema has to Akira, especially since, as this episode kind of confirmed, they weren’t childhood friends like some of the fandom has suspected.

^ In this scene too, it’s almost suggested that Ema realizes that, if Akira falls, it’s possible that, at some point, Blue Angel will come to his aide. She doesn’t seem to show signs of knowing Blue Angel is in the vicinity but boy oh boy does she suggest that she’s highly aware of that fact. And, judging by her cunning intuition from the past few episodes, she is indeed aware that Blue Angel is watching from somewhere. 

It makes me realize that, in some way, Ema has something that she’s hiding, a special ability or something that might be associated with why she has elf ears and why her history and past is so shrouded in secrecy. Who exactly is Ema Bessho? Why does she suggest she knows things, that there’s something more to her and why does the show hide any trace of her past from us? There’s something more to her here, just like there is to everyone else in this show...

-The word future here is used twice within two sentences that, in a way, loosely connect to each other. When Yusaku talks about betting his future, it’s interesting how the word “future” repeats itself with the Link circuit chant:

In a way, I feel like this is either awkward placement or, better yet, a really brilliant way of foreshadowing and pointing out that the idea of link circuits are connected to a “future” and maybe (as hinted in past episodes) “parallel” worlds. This is merely an observation but the way Yusaku says these two lines side by side makes me think there’s something more to what’s going on here than these words simply just being lines of dialogue.

-Also, when Yusaku and Shoichi sync up in their words, that in itself is very eerie. There’s been a theory going around that these two are potentially brothers and I’m definitely getting that kind of vibe from the way both Playmaker and Shoichi suddenly snap at Akira’s want to protect Yusaku. In a way, it almost seems that they’re connected and I certainly wonder if they are and just don’t realize it themselves because the way the show is phrasing and timing their words is almost too coincidental...

-Now, Blue Angel again. I find it rather interesting how she reacts to Akira’s line of “oh, if a stranger kidnapped my sister I don’t know how I’d feel”. She seems to recollect something here but, as to what that is it is uncertain. It certainly seems like she knows what Akira is talking about, like she’s recognized something from her memories but, whatever it is she doesn’t show the audience. This makes it almost certain that Aoi was possibly involved in what was happening ten years ago and that, strangely enough, she knows something more that she hasn’t revealed to her brother as of yet...

-And, speaking of Akira, there were times with him that makes me squint my eyes and wonder about him because there’s something happening with him here that’s almost...odd, I guess? Like, look at the below image:

Throughout the entire duel, Akira has been serious and rather sympathetic to Playmaker’s trauma, playing cool in his duel against Playmaker and trying to talk him down. However, in this image above it almost seems like he’s amused by Playmaker’s desperation to duel him. His face reads as haughty, arrogant, but also reads, in a way, brainwashed. The half-lidded eyes, the kind of weird smile, it’s almost out-of-place for the entirety of Akira’s character this whole episode. And, yes, I know he isn’t brainwashed but that frame right there gives off a sort of amused and out-of-touch vibe to me that contrasts heavily with the down-to-earth conversations and the pleading he has with Playmaker throughout the entirety of this episode.

What’s even more interesting is that, every time he gets damaged (which we see only once this episode and again in the preview), there’s blue light and electricity that occurs on his body like a “glitch” of some sort. This is rather odd and intriguing as Playmaker never seems to suffer from this effect throughout their duel. The fact that Akira is wincing suggests that he’s actually feeling pain from such a blow which is all the more alarming because this is a virtual duel, not a real one.  (Lol nvm. The same thing happens to Playmaker and Blue Angel too. This is what happens when I rush through a masterpost, kids, without checking through the episode or paying attention to last episode’s happenings regarding this occurrence. Thanks to @the-yugioh-theorist and @sharauril for pointing this out to me :D.)

Unless he were an AI or whatever, such phenomenons shouldn’t be occurring with him and it also makes Ema’s previous words all the more concerning when you realize she’s suggesting that, if Playmaker does something to make Akira fall then it’s going to be Blue Angel who will fight against Playmaker in place of her brother. Even if Akira tells Playmaker everything, if Akira falls then there’s no doubt Blue Angel won’t let him leave without some sort of payback. Almost certainly, if things go terrible for Akira, then there’s gonna be a whole lot of hell to pay on Yusaku’s part.

[florchis]

May and Daisy + 2. “You’re too young to hate the world.”

First of all, thank you for this lovely prompt, and I’m sorry it took me so long. I never knew I could enjoy writing May so much and I really loved writing it. So thank you.

I’m sorry if you wanted something more S4-ish, but my mind went straight to early S2. So, this is pure ol’ May and her ducklings.

Warnings:  Anger/Anxiety issues related to PTSD, and the usual: things the characters blame themselves for =/= the things me or other characters blame them for. Due to the timeline, I refer to Daisy as “Skye” here.

[AO3]

All things considered, May is glad that she has something else to focus on other than her own anger and hurt and disappointment. She should have been the one to know better, she should have seen all the signs from a mile away; that was her job, to be the eyes of this team, and she failed.

She failed spectacularly.

The less she can do is push down her shame and her remorse and help fix the pieces of everything that got broken to the best of her capacity.

That’s why she does physical therapy with Fitz, and doesn’t get mad at him, no matter how much he gets mad at himself and lashes out at her instead as some form of self-preservation.

That’s why she told Phil to let Simmons go undercover. They worry about Fitz so much that sometimes they forget that Simmons was there too and has demons of her own to battle. She needs to process, yes, but she also needs to cope, and if she needs to leave in order to do that, they had to let her.

That’s why she trains Skye.

She has to give Ward credit: the girl has potential and he didn’t do a sloppy job on the physical training. But she doesn’t only need training to make her body stronger and better, she also needs it to make her emotional defenses stronger and better, and well, May can relate to that, and therefore no one better to train her.

(Or so Skye seems to think, and May lets her, because what good would it do to her to know the truth?)

Again: they are doing damage control with what little they have, and it feels sometimes like they have to let some things burn down just because they have bigger fires to put out.

Fitz’s shaking hands and his struggle with words are so blatantly obvious that sometimes May forgets about Simmons quietly panicking in the shower, and while she rubs dry shampoo on Jemma’s hair, she can’t take care of Skye beating her own hands to pulp against the punching bag.

There is only one her, and even though she knows this is all her fault, there is only so much she can do before she wants to take her own skin apart, and if she destroys herself she wouldn’t be able to be there for them the next day, and she is not going to do that.

May had given up the idea of children of her own a long time ago, because she thinks they are too soft and too pliant to be managed with her scarred hands; how did she end up anyway with this bunch of brave, traumatised, amazing kids that she needs to help so hard and for whom she feels responsible?

(And that is not even counting Phil going quietly out of his mind. May sometimes think that she should have retired while she could, but how could she, when all these people need her so much? It doesn’t matter that she can’t help them with the bigger things, the things that count; she is willing to put enough effort in the small things to make a difference.)

But she can’t do much more for Fitz than try to help him get better, and she can’t do much more for Simmons than let her go, and she can’t do much more for Phil than make him promises she is not sure she will be able to fulfill. But Skye wants more from her, Skye is avid for a hand to take her out of her misery and lead her somewhere her anger can be useful, Skye is desperate for someone to tell her that life can be okay despite the world dragging her down and people being shit.

May is not sure she can do all of that for her, be the defender of the optimism, use the it gets better slogan on her. Yes, she is the bearer of the show must go on concept, but anything else? It’s just not her style.

But one night, when it’s so late that it could be called early, and she is still in the kitchen sipping tea, Skye barges in, barefoot and with red-rimmed eyes, and May understands suddenly which card she should play, because, yes, she blames herself for a lot of what happened, but she has been so focused on them and what they need that she have been forgetting to hate herself for a long time. Skye startles a little when she sees her, and May makes a gesture to make her feel welcomed.

“Tea?”

Skye snorts.

“If it is the strongest thing we have, yeah, sure.”

May gets up and turns on the kettle before answering.

“It’s the strongest thing you can have. You have to be up in three hours for training.”

Skye sits down on the breakfast bar, and May notices that she is wearing a sweater that is too big for her.

“Thanks god. I would go out of my mind without training.”

That makes May stop, because she can see, clear as a picture, how high are the chances of Skye becoming just like her, and while there is no shame in doing your job well, and liking it, May still can remember the things she wanted and let go.

(Because there is nothing wrong in being addicted to your work if that is what you want, to be Jemma Simmons and have two PhD’s by the age of seventeen, but you have to choose it for yourself, not let a shitty life choose it for you.)

“What happened?”

Skye is on the defensive in two seconds flat, and May goes to her and takes her wrist, to show her the watch with her increasing pulsations, that speaks louder than a thousand words. She looks down at the floor, part ashamed and part upset, but May doesn’t let go of her wrist.

“Fitz and I had a fight, okay?”

Well, that explains a lot: both of them have taken both Fitz’s injury and Simmons’s absence to heart, the way they do almost everything. Skye feels uncomfortable by Fitz’s disability, and ashamed to feel that way, and hurt and angry at Simmons for leaving; Fitz is disappointed on himself, in war with the world, and in denial of Simmons’s leaving. Not even a miracle could have saved this of being an explosive cocktail.

“You and Fitz more or less fight all the time.” May points out while she goes to pour the water on the mugs. “What was different about this time?”

She can hear Skye sigh and she pointedly looks away to give her privacy to gather her thoughts.

“I usually try to carry on, you know that. Life is hard, I’m not the first person ever to have shitty things happen to them, and I won’t be the last. But sometimes it’s… harder somehow, you know? Because I have to go talk with the freaking traitor in our basement, and then I come back and Simmons is gone, and Fitz is not coping, like, at all, and the only ones keeping me slightly sane are you and Trip.” May doesn’t acknowledge the implicit gratitude, because she knows there is still more Skye needs to say, and she can’t be interrupted “They were my very first long-term friends, that truly liked me for what I am. They were my fundament out there in the field, when this insanity started, and now there is this chasm open between us. And it wasn’t supposed to be this way. It isn’t fair, and I don’t want it, and sometimes I can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t have been better to not know them at all.”

May has a reputation to keep and, most important, she knows that she is being Skye’s support now, and she can’t fail her. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell, but the mug he puts in front of her is still warm and perfect tea, and her voice doesn’t falter when she talks, and that is something.

“There is a couple of things you need to know. First of all, life isn’t fair. If you were under the impression that this wasn’t true, change your mind now, because you are too young to hate the world already because it didn’t give you something that wasn’t promised in the first place.” There are unshed tears in the corners of Skye’s eyes, and May continues like she doesn’t see them. “Yes, they are amazing people, and so are you, and terrible things happened to all of you. You have to deal with it, because life is going on, with or without you. And there are also things that make all of this worth it. The single fact that you love them so much that this hurts this badly, doesn’t make everything worth it?”

Skye is full on crying now, and May doesn’t move from her side of the bar, she just stirs her tea in silence. Skye might need a lot of things from her, even some that May isn’t sure she can provide, but a hug right now is not one of them. She seems to feel better after a couple minutes of inhibited crying, and while she dries her eyes with the sleeve of the sweater, May pushes the mug closer to her. Skye takes it with shaking hands and takes a sloppy sip and pulls a face at the bitter taste, and only then May recognizes the sweater as Fitz’s. Poor boy, between Skye and Simmons, May is not sure he has enough clothes left  to put on. Not that he would mind much, probably.

“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know if it’s worth everything.”

May nods.

“That’s okay. You don’t need to figure it out overnight or in a rush. But eventually you will have to, and then I want you to have thought about it. Remember, life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean that it only takes and takes and never gives you anything back.”          

Send me some characters and a prompt and I’ll write you a drabble!

[5hfanfiction]

Fangs and other Fairy tales - Chapter 53

Camila’s POV

‘We’re at war!?’ I exclaimed. Dedrick and I were currently standing in a large hall that was surrounded by other small settlements while the girls were getting settled.

Calling this place a camp really didn’t do it any kind of justice, it may have started out that way thousands of years ago but today it’s a towering fortification that could withstand any form of assault like the great walls of Camelot. Or so i had thought. Apparently something or someone thought they could take us on, and Dedrick actually considered them a threat. 

'Yes we are at war. It’s not the first time and it certainly won’t be the last’ Dedrick explained atop his throne. It was a little much but he was born in a time when kings, queens and nobles were the only people that really mattered so i see where he got his inspiration. 

'But with who?’ i asked. The only people we’ve ever been at war with are the Vampires, and even they aren’t dumb enough to come this far into our territory, so that leaves me to ask what other form of intrepid supernatural creature has a grudge against us. 

'They’re a renegade pack made up entirely of supernatural creatures, and not just of one kind. There could be hundreds for all we know’ he continued and i looked at him with complete and utter disbelief.  

'A pack of supernatural creatures!? That’s who you’re so afraid of? You have an entire army of Werewolves at your disposal and you’re still worried? You have got to be kidding me’ i argued. 

'Look at my face, do i look like i’m kidding?’ he growled and i flinched. 

'Okay you’re not kidding. So what exactly makes them so special?’

'They’re all pure breeds, and i’m not talking about the half human, half creature variety. I mean pure blooded beasts, born in the darkest corners of the world’

'You’re talking about The Precursors’ Another voice carried into the room and i turned to see Ally walking towards us. 'But they were all hunted down and slaughtered hundreds of years ago, we made sure of that' 

'Yes, or at least we thought we did. It seems a few managed to survive’ Dedrick sighed. 

’Woah wait what are The Precursors?’ i asked looking between the two.

'The Precursors are a horde of truly evil monsters, the original form of every supernatural creature on this planet. It is said they didn’t have enough humanity within them to achieve evolution and remained stuck as these twisted, corrupted souls. No more than beasts, yet they have a human conscience. They have no other desire than to destroy everything they touch and take their hate out on a world that left them behind’ she explained. 

'So we killed the original Werewolf?' 

'Yes Karla that is correct. The original was no friend to our kind or any other supernatural beings for that matter, it killed without remorse, humans, Werewolves, anything it could get its hands on. So we had to put a stop to it’ Dedrick replied. 

'What have you done to try and stop these things?’ Ally asked. 

'They’re not easy to track down, it’s like they’re constantly moving and leaving their scent all over the forest; and their tracks just lead us off of mountain sides or into rivers, it’s hopeless. I’ve already lost too many wolves trying to locate where they’re hiding' 

'What makes you think there are hundreds? Have you actually seen them?’ she questioned and he shook his head. 

'When or rather if a scouting party returns they all describe seeing something different, some have mentioned seeing a tail, horns, wings, glowing eyes, talons, the list goes just goes on and on. I refuse to believe all of those features are from the same creature, it just isn’t possible’ he replied. 

'Seems you have a big problem on your hands' 

'And that’s not even the worst part. Follow me’ he instructed and led the two of us down some steps into a lower hall. My heart felt like it stopped beating when he pulled back a large curtain to reveal hundreds of bodies all laid down on small hospital mattresses with people in long white coats walking here and there; scribbling down notes on their clipboards and checking the temperature of what i presumed to be their patients. 

'What’s wrong with all of them?’ i asked walking into the room, and almost bumping into a nearby bed. I looked down to where my foot had grazed and saw a female Werewolf, laying in what looked to be unbelievable pain, i could feel her warmth from where i was standing and beads of sweat rolled down her forehead. 

'They were all poisoned as far as we can tell. From what the doctors have discovered they’re all paralyzed from head to toe, whatever got into their body is attacking their nervous system and if we don’t figure out how to help them in time they could die’ he informed us. 

'One of the monsters did this?’ Ally perplexed and Dedrick hummed. 

'I can only assume so. Werewolves don’t get sick and our bodies protect us from things like poison, we regenerate and metabolize it too quickly for it to do any real damage. But i’ve never seen any thing like this' 

I started walking down the narrow walkway looking over each of the victims carefully but they all looked the same, each one lay deadly still; and only their facial expression along with the amount of heat radiating off of them gave away any sign that they were in pain. It reminds me of how i feel every time i’m trapped in one of my nightmares, i try to force my body to wake up but i can’t move, instead i just have to lay there and wait for it to be over until it finally releases me. Unfortunately for them this isn’t just something they can wake up from, they need medicine, a healer, a…

S-Sofi?

Sofi…

'SOFI!!!’ I cried. As soon as the word fell from my lips four cold bodies raced to my side and looked me over worriedly.  

'What’s wrong Camz?’ Lauren asked and tried to catch my gaze but when i wouldn’t look away from a single spot in front of me she looked up at at the figure laying in the bed. A look of realization fell similarly across her face as it did mine and she grasped my hand tightly.  

'Sofi? Why is that name familiar?’ Dinah asked. 

'Dedrick, why didn’t you tell me Sofi was here or that she was alive!?’ i bit out through gritted teeth. 

She’s been here this whole time and he didn’t think to say anything sooner? My sister, my beautiful little sister, she’s here, she’s alive. Though she’s not nearly as little as she used to be, that’s why i had to look a little harder at the teenage girl lying in the bed. It seems she decided to become immortal after all. But what’s she doing here? And why is she fighting Dedrick’s battles for him? That asshole has a lot to answer for. 

'WELL!?’ I roared and ripped my hand out of Lauren’s to grab him by the cuff of his shirt. 'WHY IS SHE HERE!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!' 

'Mila stop!’ Normani yelled. 

'A lot has been going on Karla, it slipped my mind. I don’t have time to keep track of everyone and their sister’ he argued. 

'YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS TO ME, YOU KNOW THAT AND IT SLIPPED YOUR MIND!!!’ I continued to bark at him and pushed him backwards; before i had the chance to grab him again Ally stepped in between us. 

'Mila, he told us what happened to her. But if you want to know why she’s here try asking nicely’ she suggested and with great reluctance i blinked away the yellow from my eyes. 

'How long has she been here Ainsworth?’ i snapped and he looked down at the ground. 

'She’s been here for about twenty years now. She arrived not long after your mother passed away. She had been searching for you, for years she kept on trying but came up empty handed; so she came here and asked me for help. We searched far and wide, but there was no finding you and eventually she gave up hope that she would ever see you again’ he replied. 

'Was she immortal when she got here?' 

'Yes, she was. I’m guessing she wanted to buy herself more time. No one wants to be an old woman when they reunite with their long lost sibling' 

So i was right, mum did pass away, a while ago in fact. And Sofi, did she stick around all this time just for me? She must have been all by herself for years before she realized those Vampires made sure that no one would find me for a very long time. Of course it would only take one Vampire family to stumble across me accidentally before i would be freed.

Well i’m here now kiddo, you found me, you did it. And i’m going to make you better again, i’m going to make them all better. Then i’m going to become an alpha so i can protect my family and my friends on the blood moon and hopefully run off into the sunset with Lauren… that doesn’t sound too difficult right? Yeah who am i kidding, any threat that has an eerie name like The Precursors aren’t just going to roll over and give up. And i wouldn’t even know where to start looking for a cure. 

'Is there nothing we can do for them Dedrick? I mean, isn’t there someone who can help?’ i asked and he smiled. 

'Actually there is, his name is Tyrus Norgrove. He’s one of the most powerful witch doctors in the world and specializes in cases such as these' 

'In poison?’ Lauren queried. 

'In the un-explainable’ he clarified. 

'And where is this Titty Nickleback guy?’ Dinah asked and Normani almost choked laughing. 

'Tyrus Norgrove is currently imprisoned in a high level security facility located within the heart of  jungle cat territory. 

'Why, what did he do?’

'They accused him of letting one of the panther leaders die from some kind of illness and locked him away. Someone is going to need to get in there and ask him how to make the cure’ he told us and i furrowed my brow. 

'Why can’t we all go?’ i asked. 

'Because two of you must retrieve the ingredients we need to make the cure. But i warn you, it will not be an easy trip, if it was i would have gone myself’

Great so not only do we need to break a suspected murderer out of jail but we also need to find some herbs or something in a vast woodland area. Talk about trying to find a needle in a hay stack. 

'You know what we need to make the cure? How?’ Ally asked. 

'They are suffering from a  special kind of paralytic. The doctors have tried the usual stuff, but nothing seems to be working, it’s not strong enough to battle the infection. So they came up with a resolution, a stronger sample made with two very specific ingredients that are almost impossible to get your hands on’ Of course they are *eye roll*.

'Then why do we need this Tortoise guy if they already know how to make the cure?’ Normani chimed in. 

'What is it with kids today? They know what they need but they don’t know how to use them. These two herbs must be specially prepared otherwise their healing properties won’t work and Tyrus is the only one with enough experience to know how to do that. Got it?’ he huffed frustratedly and Normani nodded her head before taking a few steps away from him.   

'Fine, Normani and Dinah, you two go find out how to make the cure from Trippy Nightingale while Lauren, Ally and I go find the ingredients we need. Sound good?’ i perplexed. 

'Sounds good to us’ Norminah replied in sync.  

'Actually’ Ally piped up. 'If it’s all the same to you i think i should stay here and keep an eye on Sofi, i can let you know if she’s getting any worse and how much time you have left’ she suggested and i agreed implicitly. 

'Good thinking Ally, are you sure though? Maybe i should stay instead’ i pondered. 

'No, trust me. You need to be the one to go. No one is going to fight harder for your sister than you. Right?’ Of course she’s right. 

'Okay. Well then it looks like we have our game plan. We leave at dawn’

  A/N: Gee wizz Batman, Sofi’s alive!!!! Anybody call that one? :p 

Just so you know i’ll be telling Camren, Norminahs and Ally’s story inter-changeably over the next couple of chapters. A lots gonna be going down so try and keep up. 

- Alex XD  

[ghostmartyr]

top 5 villains

You know, the thing about villains, that I have learned through many years of skimming fandom, is that I am bizarrely short of villain stanning. I should have a long list of villains I like. And yet.

I like plenty of characters who are very much not good people, and very much antagonists. But it’s the chaos that’s essential, there. My favorite member of the villain squad is the nuisance who’s just hanging out enjoying being their worst self.

A top villain should be, like. Threatening. To be at the top, they should be adhering to their own agenda, and that agenda shouldn’t be the level of a side quest in the main story. The plot should turn on their ambition just as much as it does for the heroes.

Their reign should be both devastating and entertaining. Bring some style to it. It’s not about being an obstacle for the good guys, it’s about winning.

How many of the following truly check off all those marks is up for debate, but I think they’ve at least got the vibes.

Spoilers for each series the villain belongs to, and I will make sure to note said series in bold when it hits. Images blatantly stolen from wikis.

- - - - -

The Locked Tomb, specifically Gideon the Ninth

Cytherea Loveday

(No art for you, book person.)

She probably shouldn’t be on this list. Yes, that’s how we’re starting out. Not that she isn’t a villain, and not that she isn’t threatening, and --

Look. She’s on the list. More because I like her and she happens to be a villain than me liking her because she’s a villain, but as villains go, she is, as the kids say, a fave.

The living embodiment of, “I came out to attack people and I’m having such a good time right now.” She is the main villain of the first book, and she spends most of the time that we see her lounging in gardens and batting her eyes at her boss’ daughter. She basically treats her murder spree as a company-sponsored tropical vacation. She impersonates her first victim, puppets said first victim’s closest companion’s corpse around (yes the corpse is also her responsibility, and yes she may have stuffed FV’s corpse in around it what of it), kills children, kills a married couple enjoying their anniversary, doesn’t kill the main character because the main character is easy on the eyes (it is slightly more complicated than that but if you want a good story you can read the book), and even when she dies she’s getting something she wants.

(Neglected wants include murdering God.)

Essentially, she’s dreamy. Don’t @ me.

- - - - -

Madoka Magica: Rebellion

Kyubey

Specifying the movie and not picking Homura. I’m great at this.

The reason is actually very simple.

In the movie, Kyubey filled me with hatred. In the series, it’s more of a, ‘lol, you scamp, helping move the plot along’ annoyance at best. I don’t really mind the evil alien bunny ferret in the series. Obviously it’s a bit of a dick, but Kyubey feels like a product of the evil system more than actually being a villain.

Enter the movie.

Enter (irrational levels of?) rage.

Kyubey, in Madoka’s new world, operates with less gains than the witch system provided. The system still functions, but the Incubators could be more fulfilled by it, so it’s like -- ‘can has throne of madokami? kthx start the torture back up.’

Again, Kyubey is a product of the evil system. But the evil system that Madoka defeated. She won, and here Kyubey is, trying to start the game all over and break everything she fixed (arguably succeeding in the case of Homura). The injustice of it all made me actively angry at Kyubey in a way that I seldom experience towards fictional characters. The system was dead, and it had no business trying to come back. Kill it, kill it good, and don’t leave a body behind to bury, because fuck the system.

Then Homura’s treatment of Kyubey at the end disturbed me enough that I can’t actually stomach a manifestation of my dislike for our favorite alien cat marshmallow, but for the strength of reaction Kyubey inspired, we have our second spot on the list.

- - - - -

Rurouni Kenshin

Makoto Shishio

Obligatory mention that all the decent people in this series would punch their author in the face at bare minimum.

Shishio is probably the closest embodiment of the ideal villain talked out above the cut. He has goals. He has a life outside the hero. He’s initially only mildly interested in including the hero in that life. He’s out to rule the country and bathe the current government in blood, and doing it in style is a very cool side effect.

The guy’s set on fire by his own side because they’re terrified of his power. He is the nightmare created by people who put down a road to Hell brick by brick with their maybe good intentions. Along the way they meet a demon, and up until the threat of his power becomes too great, they happily embrace his skills.

Upon his recovery, all he’s really about is proving that they were right to be terrified, and they also should have done a better job with their murder, because guess who’s alive, bitch.

The strong live, and the weak die. Makoto Shishio is alive to remind the government that they are weak, and he will feed on them.

He has an army, he has followers, and he balances all of their motivations so that they are acting only in his favor. Hatred, admiration, or loyalty, it’s all a tool. He kills the woman he loves to win a fight, and she dies grateful for it.

Terrible person. Beautiful conviction. He dies without once faltering in his philosophy and power. He is a force.

Bonus points for being voiced by Steve Blum in the anime.

- - - - -

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)

Horde Prime

This is the part of the list where I start having a little bit of trouble. I mean. The first entry is also that, but Horde Prime is here because I looked at my standards and shouted into the void of my mental file cabinet, “is anyone in here like that?”

Horde Prime is here because he is scary as fuck. He’s a genocidal religious cult leader, and the cult members being clones of him does not mean he plans on being nice. He will put on a polite smile and sink his claws into your throat if you so much as think of being a creature beyond his might.

He is the epitome of a Saturday morning cartoon villain, but in the best way. He doesn’t have a positive motive outside of his own ego. He’s power-hungry and arrogant, and the entitlement oozes off him in any scene where he deigns to interact with people. He is a monster. A veneer of civility can be draped over it all if he’s in the mood, but the universe is his, and he will destroy as much of it as he pleases until it catches up and starts bowing down.

I want to have fun hating villains, and Horde Prime is delightful to hate.

He’s evil and has stage presence. Thank you, sir, your descent into Hell will be witnessed with great satisfaction.

Worth noting that his voice actor, Keston John, is a huge part of that stage presence, and does phenomenal work as his voice.

- - - - -

Rurouni Kenshin

Yukishiro Enishi

(Image not stolen from a wiki because somehow the vibes weren’t right from his page.)

Enishi would do so much more than punch his author in the face, because he’s an awful human being, but an awful human being with one very clear, obsessive stance.

Yes, I wrote Enishi’s name with the family name first and Shishio’s with the family name second. Yes, this is because Kenshin going “Makoto Shishio” in the anime dub is burned into my brain, and Enishi doesn’t have that going on. My list, my bad choices.

First, it must be said: COOLEST CHARACTER DESIGN OF THE LIST. FASHION GOALS. FITNESS GOALS. REALLY FUCKING COOL SWORD. REALLY FUCKING COOL FIGHTING STYLE. BADASS TRANSFORMATION THAT PROBABLY MAKES ANYONE WITH BASIC BIOLOGY UNDERSTANDINGS WINCE.

What a dick.

Here’s the deal.

Kenshin killed his sister.

Enishi will make Kenshin suffer.

Here is the nuance that Enishi can’t grasp until the end.

His sister loved Kenshin. Her death was a horrific accident, partially set up by both her and her brother attempting to arrange Kenshin’s death (one of them changed their mind).

For the hero of the story, Yukishiro Tomoe is a gaping, open wound across his face. It is his greatest failure. There is no part of him not aching with guilt and remorse over her death. There is only pain, and the reminder of it threatens to drown him.

For the villain of the story, there is only one response to that: Good.

It is not enough for Enishi that the man he hates dies. Enishi wants to rip Kenshin’s heart out of his chest and leave it beating in a field of salt and glass. He wants to destroy any shred of life Kenshin has found without his sister, and he wants Kenshin to know that all of this destruction is his fault.

What Enishi wants is the hero’s complete and utter annihilation. His soul deadened, and his suffering infinite.

Obsessive hate to the extent that Enishi feels is just... impressive as hell. His view of the world is black and white to the extreme, and he will make that our hero’s problem. He will not doubt himself except to wonder if keeping Kenshin alive to suffer is a misstep. Enishi is angry, traumatized, and quite often a fucking asshole whose emotional development ceased as a child. Where he was also a little jerk, but you could try to imagine a world where maybe he didn’t bite people if you wanted to be optimistic.

Then he watches Kenshin kill his sister, and proceeds to be the absolute worst in the name of his righteous vengeance. A bunch of people are seriously wounded, there is a large amount of property damage, and trauma is everywhere.

Here is peak Enishi:

Villains need to commit, you know?

Points for passion.

- - - - -

And that’s five? I count five. Awesome.

Sorry this took so long. I wasn’t sure how to go about a list, and then I didn’t want to just phone it in, since it’d already taken forever. Thanks very much for the ask, though! Hopefully this serves as an entertaining response.