#I’m just an anxious mess
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Sighing at the thought of Levi jumping in to help you whenever you’re anxious or scared to speak up for yourself. “Excuse me. That wasn’t her correct order.” He’ll politely say to the waiter as pink tints your cheeks. Or when someone cuts in front of you in line and he knows you’re not going to say anything so he’ll purposely roll on their heel. When they turn around to see who stepped on them they see Levi with an expressionless stare. “She was first.” Is all he’ll say. Sometimes you’ll try to stop him from doing anything. “It’s okay, Levi, we can get something somewhere else.” You tell him softly, not wanting to make a scene. “No. He doesn’t have the right to be an asshole, especially when you were being kind about it.” You sigh. “I know but-“. “No, they don’t get to talk to you like that.” He cuts you off because he won’t let anyone disrespect you in his presence. However, he knows you hate confrontation and anything like this gives you a lot of anxiety so he tries to comfort you by taking your hand and putting in his lap so he can softly stroke the inside of your palm. “I’m speaking to the manager and then we’ll go, okay?” He’ll say softly to you and you’ll nod in response, internally calming down as his fingers start to trace the patterns on your palm. He’ll pick up your hand and place a soft kiss on your knuckles to continue to reassure you ❤️
#This man would get into fights for you wheelchair and all he does not give a fuck#but he would also try to be considerate of your feelings and try not to make you feel bad for how you react to things#he would just be like “this is wrong and I’m going to fix it.#I’m just an anxious mess#he would be so patient and kind#levi and reader#levi hcs#levi fluff#levi drabble#levi ackerman x you#levi headcanons#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#aot levi#levi ackerman#levi x you#manda writes
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Between the journey of Eyjafjalla getting closure from her parents’ death, the sheep, and Bison becoming more independent, the most eye-opening thing is that Snowsant is Swire’s sugar baby.
#arknights#So long adele#Okay it’s not canon#I just find it exceptionally funny how Swire just gives an entire ass store for Snowsant to manage#Like she literally gave all the goods she needed in order to run the thing#Of course her ulterior motive is to gage Siesta’s profitability and run the stores out#But to hand it off to a girl who has social anxiety is a choice#Like she really must have faith Snowsant to do it#Like…come on Swire you’re not slick#Snowsant told her not to give her money and Swire has to find ways to help her#Swire aspires to be a sugar mommy to a woman that has no interest in it#In short I’m shipping them b/c confidant woman x anxious mess is a weak spot for me#Spoilers
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in my experience i didn’t get interested in kingdom hearts by watching or playing anything first. i got interested by watching people post about cute anime children murdering each other and i was like ‘fascinating. i wonder how this got past the disney censors. let’s find out’
#kingdom hearts#khposting#of course i stayed for all the genuine heartfelt stuff. but that’s what got my attention first#media that is clearly supposed to be dark and is dark: meh. ok#media that is supposed to be fun and childish that dips a bit into dark stuff for delicious tonal whiplash every now and then: LET’S GO#‘why do you only like children’s stuff’ eh. cuz i like when stuff can be messed up and real#but when the creators aren’t allowed to lean on blood gore and violence as a crutch. i like when they’re forced to think outside the box#you tell a kids media creator they aren’t allowed to kill someone and they go ok. got it. i will create a fate worse than death#now that’s what i’m talking about!#not saying all adult stuff is uncreative blood gore and violence of course#just saying that it’s always a possibility and it makes me nervous#i like being personally guaranteed in advance that i wouldn’t be jumpscared by upsetting things and personal triggers bc i’m v sensitive#i get anxious without that guarantee#it isn’t baseless anxiety at all it happens. i have been shown so much awful stuff in one of my film-related classes lately#including one of my own worst personal nightmares#call me cringe idc
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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i love how everyone just agrees that pre big shot spamton was definitely a little sweaty ball of anxiety. because have one look at current spamton and tell me he was once mentally stable (he was not)
#deltarune#spamton#deltarune spamton#idk i just saw more pre big shot spam art and it was him being an anxious mess and i’m like. yeah. i love u deltarune community
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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Not me actually, legitimately crying because of how sweet and kind Lord of the Lost was when I met them 😭😭
#I just burst into tears last night bc I just got so emotional over it#I was so like nervous/anxious but they were still so very nice#I asked Gared and Benji how they were doing and they said they were good#then Gared turned to me and asked me if I was okay and I said yeah 🥹 and he went ‘Good!’ with a smile on his face#Class saw I was doing this 🤟 then I noticed he like subconsciously was like ‘oh! let me do something too!’ so he went ✌️#Benji put and arm around me and so did Class 😭😭#then Chris leaned in closer all smiles#it just absolutely made my night and now I’m tearing up about it again LMAO#I felt…included#lord of the lost#when I asked Pi and Class to sign something they were like of course! Class even said ‘yes please’ like twice 🥹🥹#I mentioned to Chris it was my first time meeting them and he’s like ‘funny it’s my first time meeting you!’ I LOVE HIM 😭😭 he’s so funny#I’m just an emotional mess OOUUGGHH
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#forgot to post my pride profile pic! even though it’s just a recolor of my birthday one from last month#aroace#pride month#pride#I finally found out about my aroaceness this year so this is the first pride month that I can comfortably celebrate properly#without being an anxious and confused mess. or at least not as much as usual#the last 3 or more pride months involved me taking the time to read into a lot of orientations and identities for hours#while not really feeling like I fit in properly anywhere#I’m still anxious and a mess. but it’s good to finally understand and not be so confused#happy pride 🌈#mouse rambles#tag rambles#spice#fursona#yippie#🎉#aromantic#asexual
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zero exaggeration
#i was listening to the sonic cd ost. btw#mart#i’m fine my car is still very drivable#i’m just still an anxious mess
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Poking holes in my newest patch that it definitely didn’t take me like a year to finally finish painting.
It’s a band name! Guess what it is!
#moss moments#my first new patch in a while#I got really anxious about messing this one up so I just didn’t work on it#I’m really proud of how it came out tho!#the middle drawing based off of a similar one on the band’s webbed site#I’m going to send them this pic with a little fan mail later!#it’s good timing too bc they just put out a teaser for some new stuff they are working on!#I also finally got a finisher so hopefully my paint will stop peeling#I might be dumb for not doing that earlier but eh#leather painting#punk patches#diy patches
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#i feel like i’m not enjoying whatever time i have left with my grampa (he’s 93)#bc im constantly thinking about the fact that i’m genuinely not equipped to deal with him dying like. ever#like i just called him and the second i hanged up i felt like throwing up#romanroy voice i pre grieved#but i didn’t pre grieve shit#like I’m just being anxious and not enjoying these last few years (?) and im going to be a mess for months anyway when it happens#I just can’t not think about it but I know it will all be for nothing actually it will only make things worse#!!!!#eheh. not nice#why did i spell grandpa like that
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I’m actually reading over my own shit back and asking myself IS big mama a groomer?
No I don’t think she is. That’s not her deal. She’s nice, maybe she’s too nice, and obviously far too rich, but she’s genuinely helping, she’s genuinely good at it. The issue is she’s absolutely got an agenda that no one’s paying attention to. Too much going on to notice. Big mama doesn’t actually do things for free so what’s the real cost? These kids are too traumatized to notice it. Maybe Slash notices it.
It just might really LOOK like she’s a groomer cuz of how much money she has, cuz of how weird her mannerisms are, how overly willing she is to dote on these poor fucking kids even if they can’t pay for her services. She’s clearly rich so that’s too weird. But she found them cuz april knew her, cuz April’s got sooome kind of in with the hidden city, not that she knows it.
That doesn’t mean spending time in her hotel is good for them. That doesn’t mean bad things won’t still happen to them. That doesn’t mean they should trust her fully.
But she’s really good at helping them unpack it all. And they have sooooo much to unpack.
#thinking#big mama#wcs#it’s weird to talk about stuff cuz I know it so intricately but I also don’t#cuz it’s still being unravelled. and at this point this arc is longer than the fucking rest of it but I’m genuinely having fun#that piece was just kind of a way of shocking you guys into seeing the fact I did that lmao#like no you have every right to worry but Raph actually IS okay being treated by her#Leo isn’t WRONG but he’s also. fucking overly anxious#but he has every right to be anxious BECAUSE of how messed up Raph is over splinter#but to be fair big mama keeps asking Raph if he wants to have her act as a buffer for a conversation w their mom and he’s just like NOPE
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‘I was feeding. My heart started beating again. And I was hung on a tree. A martyr’s tree.’
[❤️🔥]
The second season I’ve been begging for is here, but I’m still buried deep in the first one.
#Batman Unburied#Batman#Cornelius Stirk#The Harvester#DC#Spotify#I started this sketch months ago#and it still looks unfinished#I just messed around with brushes tonight#instead of listening to the new season#because I’m so excited I am anxious#ANXIOUS#fanart#my fanart
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Now I’m all worried because ao3 won’t let me set my stuff to users only on mobile and I won’t be able to get on a laptop for another week
#as if I needed one more thing to be anxious about!!! ugh!!!!#like I push the button and it just. doesn’t recognize it’s a button. for some reason#and I’m already on the verge of being a mess because of family Thing and complicated feelings on vacations#*flops on the weird rug in this house*#rambles from the floor#I want to go home...
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#tw ED#the body dysmorphia is hitting the rocks today#i need to stop looking at the mirror every now and then#i know it’s probably my pre menstration syndrome and hormones acting up which is why i might feel bloated#but it’s messing with my head and i hate it#i’m going to the eras tour in two weeks and it’s making me anxious that i won’t fit in the dress i’ll be wearing#i know i’m getting help with my ED and i’m working on my habits and relationship with food but ugh it’s one of those days#also something just lowkey triggered me back again cause i remember the last time i saw my mom#she kept pestering me about my weight and even said i was looking like (the disney char) pocahontas if she was fat 💀#sorry just needed to get this out of my chest#i’ve just been trying my best to stay healthy and do something about it#anyways#personal#maria rambles
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I love how compared to other introverts or just socially awkward people I actually have adapted enough I can talk to anyone regardless if I think I’ll like them or not and I’m genuinely good about reaching out to people yet the one big thing I struggle with is actually telling people about myself because I’m not joking too many fucking interactions I have can be describe as “oh I like niche things (refuses to elaborate)” and the saddest part is this is not a irl thing this also applies to 1 on 1 online dms💀
#meg text#I said this before I think but I’m terrible about reaching out esp if it’s been months and IM SORRY TO ANYONE I DID THIS TOO#YOUR PROBABLY COOL IM JUST A FUCKING ANXIOUS MESS AND IDK HOW TO TALK#my self deprecation tells me sharing is annoying cause no one actually gives a fuck but being vague is probably worse#but also I get discouraged easily cause man irl unless it’s people I consider friends they really DONT give a fuck#I will never be a extrovert but one day I will be able to put my interests into a conversation without it being awkward ONE DAY#I need my own hype man
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