#I’m in the mood for a specific few artists or songs on top of that

[a-bready-music-blog]

As someone with like 80 playlists, I wish you could make folders in Spotify

[evablueblanket]

what kind of music do YOU listen to

I’ve kind of realized that i’m mildly picky about what I listen to? Either that or it’s just bc I am extremely dependent on what kind of vibes I’m in the mood for + if whatever song fits said vibe

According to spotify my top genre was broadway, which I don’t completely agree with bc I have a friend who would 100% say ‘no you loser you aren’t that into broadway’ but also she’s just into show tunes way more than anything else. Ig it’s a vibes thing more than an actual ‘this has been shown on broadway’

Though I do love musicals, i’m kind of basic since I’ve only ‘watched’ hamilton (disney+ version when it was turned into a movie). But i’ve listened to some of the more popular songs from Dear Evan Hanson, Heathers, Be More Chill, Legally Blonde, and others that are just popular songs. A few years ago I watched a TON of animatics so I think that’s kind of where it came from.

Another thing that’s not as vibe specific is orchestra/band stuff. I love love LOVE when a live orchestra and/or wind ensemble gets incorporated into music. Cody Fry was my top artist this year, and basically all his songs have an orchestra in it minus his older albums and ITS SO COOL. I play clarinet (and bass clarinet) so that’s where that appreciation comes from. I also just like, wind ensemble music. Gustav Holst (second suite in f major) is a piece I played last year and I absolute fell in love with it. Samuel Hazo is also a super good composer and he has a gigantic roster. I played two pieces of his last year, ‘Arabesque’ and ‘Solas Annes (Yesterday’s Joy)’ Going back to Holst I can 100% appreciate his planets suite.

For that kind of music though, it helps if i’ve played the piece cause then I’m like ‘hehe I know this and THIS SPOT WAS SUPER HARD ARGHHHH’ but music is super fun.

OH ALSO I’m a choir kid (basically just a fine arts kid in general) so i’ve listened to some choral pieces too just cause I like how they were performed and I like how they sound. I’m a band kid first and foremost though.

Also I listen to a lot of game soundtracks, bc instrumentals are just peak, and they vibe pretty easy since I mostly listen to soundtracks that i’ve played before. (Minecraft, Omori, Stardew Valley, Breath of the Wild, Undertale, Deltarune, etc)

OKAY I’VE EXPLAINED MY VIBES I’ll give you some stats tehe

Top Artists:

1. Cody Fry (this man has such an array of songs, he goes from funk to pop to overture-esque songs and he’s just kinda epic)

2. Omori (video game that has my entire heart, the story is so AHXISJJXD and the music is awesome. Nowadays I listen more to the breakcore side of the soundtrack but all of it is peak)

3. Bluey (LMAO I forgot about this one. Like the albums on spotify? Crazy good. Taxi is just super fun bc there’s a lot of saxaphone where there’s a GROWL solo and I love that stuff fr)

4. Coyote Theory (vibes, that’s pretty much the only reason. Yeah ‘This Side of Paradise’ is good but THERES MORE THAN THAT.)

5. Toby Fox (Video gAmes. Fun fact I think it was last year or two years ago that I was in his top 0.01% of listeners xD)

RANDOM FUN FACT: Choir kid = I know my range, and my best range is alto/contralto range and the two artists that actually do the lyrics part of music are in that so it’s also bc they’re super singable for me. (ofc I can go higher than that, but I don’t like the sound of my head voice :’) )

Top Songs.

1. Snakes (Arcane)

2. Flying (Cody Fry)

3. You Only Live Once (Yuri on Ice)

4. Fix You (Cody Fry’s cover of Coldplay)

5. Before I Met You (Cody Fry)

Snakes is just super angry, which is fun for me cause I get to go AHHH with it. Everything else kind of fits what i’ve already said.

[randomvarious]

Today’s compilation:

Now That's What I Call Music! 3 1999 Adult Contemporary / R&B / Pop / Teen Pop / Pop-Rock / Alternative Rock / Boy Bands

Went for another dip back into 1999 with the most ubiquitous various artist compilation series that the US has ever known: Now That's What I Call Music! And this third installment, just like its pair of predecessors, proved to be a commercial smash, peaking at #4 on Billboard's 200 album chart and achieving double-platinum status as well.

So, let's get into that nostalgic mood with a commercial for it, shall we?

Now, I've gone into this before, but I feel like it bears a little repeating here: while Now is something of a de facto authoritative resource on the contemporary hits of the day, it does have its limits, because, while it may seem like a pure representation of the broad pop music landscape from a specific set of a few months, each volume from its main US series is actually just a collection of songs that were put out by a conglomerate of labels. Basically, Universal and EMI and both of their many subsidiaries reached a pact to repackage hits from their own catalogues and then divvy up all the profits. So, really, it was just a genius mechanism to cash in on songs that they'd already cashed in on 🤑.

And that still means that there was a lot of different music at their disposal to choose from when they put these albums together, but it's definitely not everything. And that's why Now had a competitor like the Totally Hits series in the US, who were made up of BMG and Warner Music Group and both of their many subsidiaries.

But I only say all of this because the fact that Now is just a sprawling conglomerate of labels actually becomes pretty apparent with this release. This one, while it's still repackaging some major hits of the day, is letting its mask slip a little by recycling a whole bunch of the same acts that are featured on Volume 2, which I got into yesterday. On both of those sets, you'll find Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, Fatboy Slim, Garbage, R. Kelly, and 98°. And when you see Now recycling artists like that, when there's so many other hit-makers out there in addition to the ones that these two albums share, you start to realize why that's the case. So, you might be wondering, “where are NSYNC? Where's Christina Aguilera?” Well, they were on RCA at the time, which fell under the BMG umbrella, so you could find their chart-busting tracks over on Totally Hits instead!

Another thing I'll say about this album is that there are some songs that I feel like I'm being reverse-Mandela Effected with here; It's not that I remember the songs sounding differently, but that I don't remember them *at all*. I'm someone who listened to a whole fuck-ton of contemporary hit radio in 1999, and, 🎶for the life of me, I cannot remember🎶 (😅) ever once hearing Ideal's "Get Gone" (a song so unremembered that it doesn't even have its own stub article on Wikipedia), Chanté Moore's "Chanté's Got a Man," or Case's "Happily Ever After." And those songs went to #s 13, 10, and 15 on Billboard's Hot 100, respectively. Often, I post about tunes that deserved better treatment by the charts based on how ubiquitous they seemed, but these three songs are the opposite: they were apparently pretty big hits and I'm almost certain that I've never actually heard a trace of them before. And, given the fact that all three of these songs are R&B, I wonder if my top 40 stations in my neck of the woods were really as all-encompassing as I thought they were. Anyone else remember hearing any one of these three songs on commercial hit radio before? If you do, I'd be interested to know what region you were in, because I really don't think they got much rotation in mine; definitely not enough to make me comprehend their chart placements, at least.

Live look at me looking up these three songs and seeing where they peaked on the Hot 100:

Hey, there's an idea for a big, long-term project, though! Wading through the archives of a bunch of radio trade magazines (some of them are free to view online) and finding the variations in what the different top-40 stations across the country were playing at around the same time. There's probably a certain level of universality among them all, but given the success of those three R&B singles, I guess there's just some songs that don't make it to wherever you're at and you're then left completely unaware of their very existence. Makes me wonder if there were any other big hits that were excluded from my area 🤔.

Anyway, this is *mostly* a fine trip down memory lane, but I wish it had a different variety of artists than Volume 2, and those three R&B songs from Ideal, Chanté Moore, and Case really threw me for a total loop.

Also, do not, *under any circumstances,* expect me to post about Volume 4 tomorrow ✌.

Highlights:

Smash Mouth - "All Star" Lenny Kravitz - "American Woman" blink-182 - "What's My Age Again?" Enrique Iglesias - "Bailamos" Britney Spears - "Sometimes" Backstreet Boys - "All I Have to Give" K-Ci & JoJo - "Tell Me It's Real" Fatboy Slim - "The Rockafeller Skank" Limp Bizkit - "Nookie" Garbage - "Special" R. Kelly - "If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time" Blessid Union of Souls - "Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me for Me)" 98° - "The Hardest Thing" Fastball - "Out of My Head"

[kimchokejin]

music tag games 🎶

is it cheating to put them all in one post when everyone’s doing it?

thank you to everyone who tagged me i had a full day’s worth of music recs to listen to and bts songs to revisit happy hondadays to ME!

game #1: using your spotify top 100 playlist, shuffle 10 songs and tag 10 people.

thank you @cordiallyfuturedwight @wistfulocean and @seoksao​ for the tag! 💕

i will give the number they were on my list as well

99. Jackie Onassis by Sammy Rae & The Friends

51. Wild Roses by Jack Van Cleaf

73. Stick Season by Noah Kahan

92. New Shapes (feat. Christine and the Queens and Carolin Polachek) by Charli XCX

80. First Thing to Go by Hayley Williams

70. Mic Drop (Steve Aoki Remix) - Full Length Edition by BTS

88. religion (u can lay your hands on me) by Shura

63. No Blueberries by DPR IAN, DPR LIVE, CL

89. Lights by BTS

8. Vibez by ZAYN

game #2 (sponsored by kim taehyung): 💛 choose an artist you like and use the name of their songs to answer this as close to the truth as possible!

tagged by @cordiallyfuturedwight @jiminsproof @blueside-hobi @wistfulocean @seoksao​ thank you you guys are so creative these were so fun to read!

name of the artist: Halsey (it was working too well i had to go for it)

what is your gender: I am not a woman, I’m a god (“i’m god” - kim taehyung)

describe yourself: Ashley (you don’t need to be entertained. i’m entertaining myself)

how do you feel: Alone (but in a good way, an “i needed this” way 😌)

if you could go anywhere, where would it be: Roman Holiday

describe your best friend: Darling 🥰

your favourite time of day: 3am

if your life was a tv show, what would it be called: Still Learning

what is life to you: Hurricane, Heaven in Hiding

relationship status: Bad at Love 😬

what do you fear: Strangers (”i’m a little shy” - kim taehyung), Devil in Me (”i’m a bad boy” - kim taehyung)

game #3: share your top 5 current songs

tagged by @clutterbugs thank you emma!!! i feel like i get to use the free space in scrabble

1. Kiss in My Heart by Junk Fujiyama

i discovered this song a while back on a city pop playlist i think? and it’s been stuck in my head recently (even before indigo!) so i’ve been playing it. it’s just a fun happy song, it sounds like the artist is smiling as he’s singing it

2. ILLELLA by MAMAMOO

another super fun song and i didn’t think it was possible but i am gayer because of it. i have so many feelings about this i will have to hold myself back but i am v i b r a t i n g something’s about to break

3. girl like me by Blessing

this song is acoustic but i think also r&b influenced? i like how the lyrics are somewhat specific but the insecurity is she’s talking about is still super relatable to a lot of people and the singer’s voice is kind of unique

4. complex (demo) by Katie Gregson-MacLeod

this song is just kinda heartbreaking tbh at the end of the day it’s your typical woman trying to “save” a man who's too far gone to spare her a second thought story but the vocals really carry the emotion across in a way i don’t hear all the time so i think it’s worth a listen if you...want to feel sad

5. Ketchum, ID by Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus

i have been in a folksy mood lately and i think a few julien baker/phoebe bridgers/lucy daucus songs came up in my listening and that reminded me about this album. this is my favorite song from it. i think the line “i am never anywhere anywhere i go, when i’m home i’m never there long enough to know” is just really hitting for me rn? i also can’t get over how this is the last song on the album they ended the whole album with

BONUS GAME! i wasn’t tagged in this but i wanted to share this while i’m here in case anyone was interested in doing this for themselves. if you have spotify this bot will judge you for your music taste. it’s like the anti-spotify wrapped. this is what they had to say about mine:

i will tag @joon-rkive, @cheekyquokka, @mutedstring​, @jinsquishes​, @senor-hoberto​ and anyone who tagged me in one game but hasn’t been tagged in one of the others (does that make sense?). no pressure just if any of the games interest you 💕 feel free to ignore me!!!

[rosyreaper13]

Since everyone else is sharing their posting wrapped I thought I would too!

Genres and minute makes sense, I do listen to music like the entire time at work

Top songs are just from the same playlist I made months ago that I have on repeat at bc I’m too lazy to make myself a few one lmao

A bit shocked that I got t*ylor sw*ft as my top artist and I was in the 1% of listeners but I think it came from this weird month where I listened to the albums Red, Fearless, and evermore (2021) on repeat bc I was in a weird mood.

I like some of her songs but I don’t rly like her but a lot of her music fits for those music video/amvs you make up in your head for your OCs yknow?? They fit a very specific mood

Anyway this is always fun to see each year so I can’t rly complain. Love seeing everyone else’s and seeing if there’s any artists I wanna check out!

[magickastiel]

Heavenly Connection

summary: Dean discovers Spotify and, more specifically, the playlists about him. And Cas.

complete, 4.5k, ao3

for @apathetichristmascracker for the @spnvalentines gift exchange!

-

Dean’s midway through cooking a greasy breakfast when Sam comes back from his run, sweating, grinning and talking very loudly on the phone.

“ - dude, it totally suits you! It’s amazing. I don’t know how they managed it. It’s…almost biblical.”

There’s a rumbling crackle on the other end of the phone but Dean can’t quite work out who it is.

Who the hell would Sam be calling dude at nine in the morning on a sunny Thursday? He supposes it could be another hunter. Sam is better at keeping in touch with people they’ve met on the road.

Wait, does Sam have a friend he doesn’t know about? Huh. Look at the kid go.

Dean’s sitting down with his bacon, eggs and toast and just taking a swig of coffee by the time Sam hangs up the phone and plops down in the seat opposite him.

Dean waits, fork paused, to hear Sam’s explanation.

He just glugs his green smoothie and sweats some more. “Man, it’s warm out there already today.”

“Yeah.” Dean narrows his eyes, chewing his bacon with a clenched jaw.

“Oh!” Sam takes an obnoxiously long drink before continuing. “Cas said he’ll be back this evening.”

“What?”

Sam blinks into the suddenly tense mood. He half waves his phone at him. “Cas. He’ll be back today.” He meets Dean’s hard stare blankly. “What? Why are you glaring?”

“I’m not.” Dean says quickly, trying and failing to take the clipped tone out of his voice. “Just…didn’t think you and Cas had…you know…buddy calls.”

Sam snorts. “Buddy calls? What, you thought he only called you to check in?”

��No.” Yes.

“Sure.” Sam smirks as he wanders over to the sink to rinse his cup.

Dean huffs and shovels eggs into his mouth.

It’s fine. He glares at Sam’s stupid back. It’s good. Sam and Cas should be friends. They are friends. It’s great they’ve got their own phone calls to talk about stuff and that’s absolutely nothing to do with -

“What were you talking about?”

“What?” Sam asks over his shoulder as he fills his water bottle.

Dean grits his teeth. “What were you and Cas talking about?”

“Really?” Sam gives him an incredulous look. “You’ve really got to know?”

“No.” Dean shrugs but it’s too aggressive to be convincing. “Don’t gotta tell me. Just wondering.”

“Right.” Sam smiles to himself. Smug little s - “Don’t think you’d enjoy it anyway.”

If anything can lure Dean into being interested in something, it’s someone telling him he wouldn’t like it. He is suddenly determined to make whatever Sam and Cas’ joint interest his favourite thing ever. He’ll learn Latin if he has to. He’ll learn Enochian -

“We were talking about music.”

“Dude!” Dean explodes, almost sending his empty plate flying. “I love music! Why did ya think I wouldn’t wanna talk about that?”

Sam sighs and turns to face him, looking amused and exasperated all at once.

“It’s…uh - ”

“What?”

“It’s not just talking about random music. I kinda…found something out a few weeks ago.” He eyes Dean cautiously. “You won’t like it.”

“Won’t like what?!”

“Well,” Sam begins overly dramatically. He wanders back to his seat at the table opposite Dean. “You know how Chuck wrote those stories about us?”

Dean’s stomach churns. “Yeah. Freaky.”

Sam winces, pulling his phone out. “Yeah, I know. But…I found this playlist on Spotify - ”

“What?”

“Man, you have to start listening to music on something other than cassettes.”

“I listen to vinyl!”

“I mean digitally.” Sam glares over the top of his phone before showing it to Dean.

He peers at the screen, momentarily confused about what he’s seeing. It’s a playlist - a long playlist judging by the run-time at the top of the screen. His eyes skim over the songs. A few artists jump out at him and he snorts. Lady Gaga, Fall Out Boy, Taylor Swift.

When Sam scrolls up he sees the title. ‘I’m unclean | sam winchester’

Dean’s smirk slips away and his blood runs cold.

“What the hell? You’re telling me someone made that?” Dean goes from shocked to furious in 0.2 seconds. “About you? Being ‘unclean’? That’s such bullshit, man! Look, we’re gonna have to, like…call this stupid website. What’s their number? I’ll call them right now, get them to take it down. Loada shit - ”

Sam just laughs. “You want to call Spotify and get them to take a playlist down about me? Dude, it’s got 68 likes - it’s not exactly viral. Besides,” He looks down at his phone with a grin. “It’s a good playlist honestly.”

Dean pauses, midway through finding his own phone. “What? You actually like it? Sam, you’re not unclean - ”

Sam laughs again. “No, no. I know that. This playlist isn’t saying that’s what I am, Dean. It’s about me as a person. It’s about how I see myself. It’s about me as a character in a story.”

“But you’re not - ”

“I know.” Sam’s grinning, like he’s actually pleased about this horrible new development in their twisted lives. “But to the people that read those books and make these playlists, I am a character. And it’s kinda cool to see how they see me through music.”

“You mean there’s more than one playlist?”

“Dude, there’s loads. Actually, there’s uh…” He almost giggles as he fiddles with his phone again. “I clicked on the account that made this playlist to see if they made one about you too - ”

Dean perks up. “Did they?”

“No, actually. But they did - ha - they made this one.” He holds up his phone again and Dean almost splinters the coffee cup in his hands.

‘Nothing Is Worth Losing You | Sastiel’

Sam’s smirking. Dean isn’t. “Apparently, ‘sastiel’ is a thing. That’s how me and Cas started talking about these playlists in the first place. I sent it to him ‘cause I thought he’d find it funny. There are some good songs on it too. Romantic ones - ”

“But that doesn’t fit you and Cas.” Dean snaps.

“No.” Sam puts his phone away again, a smug expression on his face. “But it’s fun to listen to. And I’ve discovered loads of new music this way. Cas sent me a great playlist he found about him last night. That’s what we were talking about this morning.”

“Right.” Dean tries and fails to unclench his jaw.

“So, yeah. Now you know.” Sam stands and stretches like a man who hasn’t just tortured his brother. “I’m going for a shower. Maybe you should get on Spotify, Dean. Check out all the playlists about you.”

He glares so hard Sam actually winces. “Pass. I don’t need a bunch of mouth-breathing, ‘Supernatural’ nerd fans to tell me what music to listen to, thank you very much.”

_

Dean has a Spotify account by lunch time.

He tried cleaning Baby, he tried watching Dr. Sexy, he tried doing a complete inventory of his weapons.

But those dumb playlist are all he can think about.

So by lunchtime, he’s given in. He lies on his belly on his bed, chomping on an excellent grilled cheese sandwich as he scrolls through his phone.

He searches his own name first, fingers slipping over the letters. The titles of the playlists throw him.

songs that dean winchester secretly listens to

Dean winchester and his daddy issues

Dean Winchester's emotional repression

repressed bi eldest daughter complex (derogatory) dean winchester

He tries to work that one out until his head hurts. He chooses the one just titled:

Dean Winchester ☀️

He can manage that. He opens the playlist and rolls his eyes so hard he sees stars when the first song is by Beyoncé. Daddy Lessons.

But the song immediately regains his interest as it starts. There’s a rowdy, backwater country feel to it that makes him soften to it. If this is how people see him, he can live with that. Hell, it sounds country enough to make him want to put his cowboy hat on.

‘Came into this world - daddy’s little girl. And daddy made a soldier out of me.’

Ok, that’s…Dean swallows. That’s a little too on the nose. He quickly skips to the next track.

Springsteen. Dancing in the Dark. Thank god. He lets that one play, his foot jiggling along. He lets the beat carry him over the lyrics that try to suck him in like quicksand.

‘I ain’t nothing but tired. Man, I’m just tired and bored with myself - ‘

The next few tracks make him feel cold. He’s not sure what he expected, but he definitely hadn’t thought the songs would be so…tragic. The melancholic opening bars of one called ‘Smother’ makes him skip it almost immediately.

Song after song, he feels his grip on himself loosen.

Dean’s under no illusion about the hollowness in his chest, the aching void that is never sated no matter how many breakfasts he cooks with Sam, how many movies he watches with Cas, how many hour long chats he has with Jody.

He’s greedy for attention, for affection. For love.

He’s always been like it.

As a child, John would scoop him up and laugh as Dean clung to him, unwilling to let go. His tiny fingers would only loosen on his father’s shirt at the feel of his mother’s arms around him. He’d cling on to her while she bustled around the house, face half-pressed into her blonde hair. She never seemed to mind, humming softly to both of them as she worked.

Then she was gone. And John stopped holding him.

Dean still remembers the first motel they stayed in after the fire. The faint smell of mildew in the air was overtaken by the choking scent of smoke from their clothes. Sammy slept propped against some pillows and John sat on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing. Dean thought it would make both of them feel better if they hugged.

He’d only managed to get one little arm under John’s before he was being roughly pushed away. There was a darkness in his father’s eyes he had never seen before and the shock jolted him out of his desire for comfort.

He never tried again. He clung to Sammy instead. He was a baby so he couldn’t push Dean away.

But Sammy got bigger and bigger and then left.

And the hollow void in his chest ached. So he distracted himself with hook-ups and hunts. That would work for a few days but then he’d find himself alone again and the space yawned wider.

He scrubs his hand over his face and pulls his headphones off. His eyes feel dry and tight, like he should be crying but he can’t work out how.

He looks down at his phone and chuckles despite himself.

Ok. Maybe those Supernatural nerds know what they’re doing.

He’s about to give up for the day when he remembers the other playlist Sam showed him. ‘Sastiel’. Dean’s trying not to think about why that sets his teeth on edge.

He clicks on the username of the person who made the playlist he’d been listening to. He scrolls through a few labelled things he doesn’t recognise before he spots it.

Destiel

He can respect a simple title. He clicks on it and stares at the runtime: four hours and fifty seven minutes. Ok, this particular nerd obviously has quite a lot to say about ‘destiel’.

Despite himself, he grins at the title of the first song. Angel With a Shotgun. He shoves his headphones back on, hits play and feels a swoop of excitement as the song rumbles on, upbeat and strong. Like Springsteen, he lets the rhythm carry him past the lyrics that should make him pause.

He really doesn’t want to stop and think too hard on, ‘I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back, I’ll throw away my faith to keep you safe. Don’t you know you’re everything I have?’

It’s not as if that has to be romantic, right? Pushing aside the fact this is a ‘destiel’ playlist, it could still be platonic. He kind of is everything Cas has. Or at least, he was. But now Cas is friends with Sam, and Mom and he keeps in touch with Claire.

And that’s great. Dean forces himself to smile before realising he’s alone in his room so he doesn’t have to. The aching gets stronger in his chest.

The next song comes on without him noticing.

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman.

He rolls over onto his back and listens. This one’s...yeah. This one’s good. The sense of companionship - finding someone who is stuck just like you are.

He smiles up at the ceiling.

‘Maybe together we can get somewhere...’

_

Dean hunches over his phone in the kitchen that evening, the smell of homemade lasagne cooking in the oven.

Sam’s talking but Dean’s too busy to listen. He’s reading the lyrics to ‘E.T.’, confused how this particular song apparently relates to him and Cas.

He’s just feeling some type of way about ‘Could you be an angel? Your touch, magnetising, feels like I am floating, leaves my body glowing’ when his phone abruptly leaves his hand.

He blinks and lunges for it but it’s too late.

“Dude, I’ve been talking to you for a half hour now and got nothing back. What are you - ” Sam trails off, eyes widening as he flicks through the lyrics and sees Spoitfy is open in the background. “Really?” Pure glee lights up his brother’s face. “A ‘Destiel’ playlist?”

Dean tries to be cool despite his face burning. “You were going on and on about it! I thought I should see what people are saying!”

Sam snorts. “I was not ‘going on and on about it’. I mentioned it because you’re so possessive of Cas that you just had to know what we were talking about.”

“What?” Dean squeaks, and forcibly lowers his voice again. “I’m not…possessive of Cas! That’s so…you don’t know what you’re…that’s a loada bull!”

“Why are you both shouting my name?”

Ah, shit.

“Hey, Cas.” Sam says smoothly, smirking.

Dean, thinking Sam’s sufficiently distracted, lunges for his phone again but Sam holds it just out of reach. Desperate and annoyed, Dean stamps on Sam’s foot and he cries out. Dean pulls his phone from his grasp and roughly shoves it into his pocket.

Cas is watching them with a slight tilt to his head and a furrow in his brow.

“Is everything alright?” He says, so sincere Dean feels embarrassed.

“Yeah. Just Sam being a dick.”

“Dean was listening to a ‘destiel’ playlist.” Sam says, because apparently Dean raised him to be a total bastard. Sam smirks as he tries to rub his foot through his shoe.

“Oh.” Cas blinks, looking at Dean with those eyes. All-seeing and soft and so blue. “Is it…a good one?”

Not the question Dean expected to get but it’s one he can work with. “Y-yeah. Not bad. Don’t get some of the songs but…ya know. Not my playlist, I guess.”

He can feel Sam’s eyes flickering between them. Dean’s definitely going to spit on his lasagne before he gives it to him.

Cas just hums, thinking. Dean can never tell what he’s thinking which strikes him as very unfair because Cas always seems to be able to get a read on him.

“I have an excellent one bookmarked.” Cas says, reaching into his pocket and retrieving his phone. “I will send it to you.”

Dean’s brain switches off.

_

Thing is, he keeps listening to them.

It’s stupid, but now he’s started, it’s kinda hard to stop. It’s like all those people that read their horoscope, or take personality tests - at some level, everyone wants to hear about themselves from someone else.

Even for someone who hates himself as much as Dean does, it’s fascinating when someone holds up an image of you and says this is how I see you.

It takes a few weeks for him to admit to himself that a lot of them are right.

And it’s oddly comforting when he’s feeling frustrated with a case, or upset about Mom leaving or annoyed with Sam or missing Cas, there’s pretty much always a song tailored made for him and his emotions.

Particularly emotions regarding Cas.

There’s playlist after playlist about them and Dean’s steadily working through them all. He’s also bookmarked the one Cas sent him and has no idea how to process the fact that someone made a romantic playlist about them that both of them listen to. It’s funny, right?

Right?

Weeks later, Dean has a moment of weakness and lets Sam choose the music while he drives. They’re bone tired and they’ve been on the road too long. First they had a lead on Kelly in Jackson, Ohio which turns out to be a dud. Then on their way back, they stumble on a case in Flora, Illinois which takes almost a week.

Bruised and exhausted from dismantling a vamp nest, it’s all Dean can do to drive. So when Sam asks if he can put some music on for once, Dean just waves a hand, figuring it’ll be some folk/rock or maybe Celine Dion if he’s really unlucky.

He doesn’t really listen to it for a while, too focused on not falling asleep at the wheel to think about anything other than the road. A few of the songs sound familiar but he doesn’t dwell on it. It’s only after nearly an hour when a particularly distinctive intro kicks in does he actually pay attention.

‘No one on earth could feel like this, I’m thrown and overblown with bliss. There must be an angel playing with my heart…’

“What’s this?” He demands, voice rough from hours of silence.

Sam fidgets in his seat. “It’s Eurythmics.”

“Yeah, I know.” And he does know. He’s played the song himself enough times. “I mean, what’s this playlist?”

“Oh, uh…” Sam holds his phone up and Dean takes his eyes off the road for a second to read the title.

heavenly connection - a destiel playlist

“Dude!” Dean is suddenly painfully awake. “Switch it off!”

“What? Why?” Sam rolls his eyes and lets the song play. “You listen to them all the time. Why can’t we listen to them in the car?”

“Because - ” It’s private. “Because it’s dumb, ok? Switch it off.”

“It’s ‘dumb’? Dean, that’s so - ”

“I said switch it off! NOW!”

“ALRIGHT! Alright. Jeez.” Sam jabs at his phone and huffs.

The car is plunged into silence.

Dean immediately feels stupid. There was no need for him to lose it. No need to shout at all. But there’s something too exposing about hearing the playlists out loud. Dean listens to them shut away in his room, headphones on to block out the rest of the world. They’re not for anyone else to hear.

If this is how he’s going to behave about it, maybe they shouldn’t be for him to hear either.

Besides, he’s got too much to think about now. Mom’s working god knows what, god knows where and Cas is…Cas hasn’t checked in for a while.

He clenches his jaw and pushes a little harder on the accelerator.

He’s going to leave those girly, emotional songs behind. He’s got a job to do and people to save.

The void in his chest rumbles like thunder.

_

Two months later, he goes crawling back to them.

More specifically, he goes back to the playlist Cas sent him.

He plays Florence + the Machine’s Cosmic Love over and over and over until the tears dry on his face and make his skin feel tight and stretched over his skull.

‘The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out - ’

Dead, dead, dead. What had that angel said? Oh, yeah. All the way dead. Gone and not coming back.

‘No dawn, no day. I’m always in this twilight.’

The bunker’s a great place to grieve. It’s easy to shut yourself in there like a tomb and rot. It would be even easier if Sam wasn’t hovering around, trying to feed him and get him to go outside.

What’s worth going outside for?

More monsters, more death, more ways for Dean to fail.

The song changes and he quickly flicks past the hopeful ones. He tried listening to those a few days ago but it was like putting vinegar on a burn.

He stops on Take Me to Church, letting the deep tone wash over him like hot water.

‘The only heaven I’ll be sent to is when I’m alone with you. I was born sick, but I love it. Command me to be well.’

The next case they take involves an old house filled with ghosts. Dean plunges the syringe into his chest without hesitation.

It’s not gambling if you don’t care about the outcome.

_

His headphones sit on the bedside table gathering dust while Dean whisper-sings along to Madonna.

He’s gotta pack for Dodge City. It’s a quick turn around but who cares when they’re back up to a full team?

‘It’s like a dream - no end and no beginning. You’re here with me, it’s like a dream.’

“Is this the playlist I sent you?” Cas is in the doorway, broad-shouldered and alive.

“Yeah.” Dean grins. His face flushes a little but he can’t bring himself to be embarrassed right now. He’s skipped all the downbeat songs to get to this one.

“Hmm.” Cas nods, a rare and precious smile on his face. “I like this song.”

“Yeah.” Dean has a vague memory of his father in his mind, scowling and flicking the car radio off when ten year old Dean jiggled his leg along to ‘Like a Prayer’. He takes a breath. “Me too.”

_

He doesn’t really use Spotify for anything else.

He doesn’t see the point - he’s got all his favourite albums on cassette or vinyl and he’s got no desire to listen to them digitally, no matter what Sam says.

He finds other music from the playlists though. More Taylor Swift, but Dean didn’t need much persuading there. If he's in the right mood, he likes listening to Florence + the Machine.

The songs are usually a bit weird and they usually remind him of Cas in some way or another. So when he’s been gone from the Bunker for a while, Dean listens to High As Hope.

‘Hunger’ hits him hard.

‘At seventeen I started to starve myself, I thought that love was a kind of emptiness. And at least I understood then the hunger I felt and I didn’t have to call it loneliness.’

He remembers being a kid and passing the last piece of bread to Sammy, stomach rumbling. At least when he was hungry, he couldn’t tell the difference between the space in his stomach and the space in his chest.

Now, he has the luxury of food in the kitchen and his own bed to sleep in. Nothing else to think about other than that ache in his chest.

Then Mom is gone again and the ache turns to fire.

_

He doesn’t listen to the playlists for a long time.

It churns his stomach knowing what Chuck has been doing. Maybe no one even made these playlists at all. Maybe they’re all Chuck’s invention, created to give Dean a soundtrack to his life inside the cage.

He’s trapped like a hamster in a wheel, running and running and never getting anywhere.

He uninstalls Spotify but doesn’t delete his account.

_

God is dead.

Well, not dead but his power has been ripped from him and that’s enough. It’s enough for Dean now. He’s trying to be better. Trying to be the man that…

Eileen’s back and Sam is buzzing around her, giddy with excitement. Dean wants to pack a bag and leave, let them be happy without him dragging them down.

But he’s got nowhere to go and Sam would only be on his ass ten minutes later to drag him back. He tries to be grateful. He tries to be happy in his freedom.

It’s what he wanted.

Dean manages to sit through dinner with the happiest couple on Earth. He laughs along with Eileen’s stories and torments Sam for her entertainment.

Then he goes to bed early, pulls off his clothes and slides beneath the covers. He slips on his headphones and reinstalls Spotify.

‘The End of Love’ is the first song that comes on because Chuck might be gone but the universe still likes to laugh at him. He lets it play because nothing can really make him hurt more than he already is. And he’s still self-destructive enough to lean into the pain.

‘I’ve always been in love with you. Could you tell it from the moment I met you?’

He feels like he’s stood in the water, looking up at a tidal wave high above his head. It’s going to crash down over him and he can’t escape it. No point in even trying.

‘We were a family pulled from a flood.’

He turns his face to let out the first sob into the bed. Just in case Sam’s walking by and hears him. His fingers curl into the pillow and he clings on as he cries, feeling like a child again; wailing and sobbing to his mother because his father put him down.

‘Joshua came down from the mountain with a tablet in his hands, told me that he loved me, and ghosted me again.’

The chasm in his chest is so big, it presses against his skull and makes his toes cold.

Dean thinks if he falls over, he’ll just crack open.

_

‘Feels like fire, I’m so in love with you. Dreams are like angels, they keep bad at bay - ‘

“Really?” Dean tries to mock but he’s smiling so much his cheeks are hurting. “You chose The Power of Love?”

Cas bristles, holding Dean’s hand a little tighter. “Yes. It’s a good song. It’s featured on many of the ‘destiel’ playlists - ”

“Yeah, yeah.” Dean grins, his fingers squeezing Cas’ hip slightly. “Weird first dance song, though.”

“Is it? Oh.” Cas looks genuinely troubled and impossibly handsome. Dean wants to kiss him.

Dean can kiss him. It’s fine. Encouraged, even. It’s their wedding, they’re expected to be sappy and embarrassing and make out if they want to.

So he kisses him and completely forgets that they’re supposed to be dancing. Luckily, Cas leads him in a soft sway, one large warm hand on the base of his back.

‘When the chips are down, I’ll be around with my undying, death-defying love for you.’

Cas hums against his lips and pulls away a little. They’re still close enough to share breath. It should be gross but Dean’s too happy to care.

“I stand by my choice.”

“Yeah?” Dean whispers. He’s vaguely aware of the faces, blurry and distant behind Cas’ head. Sam’s out there with Eileen, Garth and Bess, Jody and Donna and the girls. Bobby and Charlie and Stevie from the other world, even Rowena made a very dramatic appearance…they’re all there for them.

Dean’s so full of love he feels like he’s going to burst.

“Yes.” Cas says firmly, and holds Dean close.

‘The power of love. A force from above.’

Dean closes his eyes and trusts Cas to guide them.

[lilmissuncreative]

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to get to know better.

Tagged By: @astarkey​ & @alwaysupatnight​

Name: 🤐 🤐 🤐 🤐 🤐 🤐 🤐 🤐

Star Sign: Sagittarius

Height: 5'7″

Time: 7:56 AM (I would be working but the power is out and my laptop won’t function on battery power alone anymore)

Birthday: 6 December

Favorite Bands/Favorite Solo Artists: The Killers, Adele, Billie Eilish, FOB, Aaliyah, Lorde, Rihanna, Paramore, Halsey, Frank Ocean, Goldfish, Linkin Park (I feel like a liar listing favourite artists because I generally only like specific songs. So, no one quiz me. I will fail.)

Last Movie: Labyrinth

Last Show: Golden Girls

When did I create this blog: haha. I have NO idea how to check this. It’s been a few years.

What I post: Reblogging based on vibes and mood. Who even knows (not me!)

Last thing I googled: how to spell “Labyrinth”. I cannot spell.

Other Blogs: I’m sure I have another tumblr somewhere.

Do I Get Asks?: Nope. Apparently, I turned it off?!?!?!

Why I chose my url: Don’t really remember - tried a bunch of things and this was the first one that was unique.

Following: 136

Followers: 37

Average hours of sleep: I aim to sleep 8 hours, but it’s normally between 6 &7.

Instruments: lol, I can technically play the recorder at a very basic level, but it’s been years and I’m not sure I remember. My gran tried to teach me piano once upon a time.

What am I wearing: track pants and zip up hoodie (& a blanket because it’s cold)

Dream job(s): “I have no dream job. I do not dream of labour.” But seriously - every job works you too hard and doesn’t pay you enough. In THIS ECONOMY?! OUTRAGEOUS.

Favourite Food:  pizza, nachos, mom’s chicken curry, my gran’s crayfish curry, ANYTHING WITH MUSHROOMS, waffles, brownies, chili poppers, sushi, dim sum, cheesecake, chocolate eclairs, POPCORN! 

Nationality: South African

Favorite Song(s): errr... I’ll randomly listen to these on repeat the most

Mr Brightside, Jenny Was a Friend, Somebody Told Me, Human - The Killers

Hum Hallelujah, Golden, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Sugar We’re Going Down - FOB

Love on the Brain - Rihanna

Melodrama - Lorde

All I Wanted - Paramore

On A Night Like This - Kylie

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish

Fire For You - Cannon

Wicked Games - The Weeknd

Maybe Tomorrow - Stereophonics

Better With You - Michl

The Night is Still Young - Nicki Minaj

Try Again, We Need A Resolution - Aaliyah

Currently playing on repeat: Currently have my whole playlist on shuffle and trying to decide what I don’t want anymore.

Last book I read: Finally finished Future Shock by Toffler. My brain is still processing.

Top 3 fictional universes I'd like to live in: Middle Earth (I WOULD BE AN AMAZING HOBBIT!), Hogwarts (Hufflepuff benches!) and can I pick Star Wars without the wars? I just wanna space travel.

No idea who to tag. Please just play.

[princip1914]

A few thoughts on writing longfic

I’ve had this post brewing for a while and I figured since today is a Friday I might as well let it out into the wild. 

First off, this is not writing advice. I don’t feel qualified to give writing advice. This is a few observations I’ve made over the course of trying to write something that feels, well, long. Fandom is full of excellent authors writing long chaptered fic, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about how they go about producing such fics. I remember feeling like long fic was really out of reach for me when I started writing again in the summer of 2019 after not writing for years and years and I wanted to talk a bit about how that changed for me. Of course, this post comes with all the caveats that there is no need to ever write long fic if you’re not feeling it. Some of my favorite authors write mostly or only oneshots! But, if you are interested, here’s my lengthy, self indulgent, and entirely personal take on ~the longfic process~ below the cut. 

First, to get this out of the way: long fic is anything that feels long or complicated to you, the author. “I’m working on my long fic” can mean that you’re branching out from microfiction to write something that’s 2k long, or it can mean you’ve got a multi-part 800k epic. There’s no objective measure of if something is “long fic,” Your own personal definitions can also change as you grow in confidence or change your focus as a writer (a little over a year ago when I finished Doubt Thou the Stars are Fire topping out at 31k, that felt very very long to me. Now it feels….still long, but not very very long.) 

Here are a few specific things that helped me write something long. I don’t know if they will be interesting for anyone else, but at the very least writing these down has been a fun way for me to reflect on my own process. 

Practice exercises. Ok, this is going to sound exceedingly obvious, but writing one shots prepares you for writing chaptered fic. Here’s what I mean more specifically: if you know you want to write (as a totally hypothetical example) a chaptered fic set in America in the summer that relies heavily on a nature metaphors, is written out of chronological order, and features a melancholy tone--it helps to write a few one shots like that before you embark on the Big Fic. Just like artists tend to do sketches before starting a big piece, it’s very helpful to write something small that gives you a feel for the ~vibe~ of what you’re trying to do in the long fic. It’s helpful for all the usual reasons--you get to know a specific version of the characters which helps plan out a character driven plot for the long fic--but it’s also helpful because you will learn if the tone and mood of the fic has enough staying power to capture your interest for the long haul. For instance, I have a few unfinished chaptered fics that have a humorous tone. I wish I had done more short humorous fics before starting them, because I would have realized that I don’t currently have the mental stamina to hold up a humorous tone for the length of a chaptered fic (hopefully that will change and I will finish Last Days some time this century!). 

Plan it out ahead of time. I used google sheets for The False and the Fair. I do not think God intended google sheets to be used for fiction, but that was not going to stop me. On a more serious note, I think the best tool for planning fiction is the one you’re the most comfortable with--the notes app in your phone, handwriting, word, google drive, sheets, chalk board, summoning circle, the blood of your enemies, etc. The reason I chose to use sheets is that I knew from the very beginning that I wanted certain things to happen at specific places in the story--for instance, I wanted the first kiss to happen at the end of the first third of the story and I wanted the “reveal” about the mine accident to happen at the end of the second third of the story. But, I didn’t know what was supposed to go in between those elements. A traditional outline for a story at this point in development might have looked like: 

Meet cute

Kiss

Reveal 

Ending 

But, what my brain needed was to preserve the blank spaces in between these story elements, and specifically to preserve the right amount of blank space between these story elements so that it didn’t end up, for instance, that the first kiss was halfway through rather than a third of the way through. In this way, I found google sheets an invaluable tool for pacing in the early parts of the planning process. I simply made 30 rows assuming 30 chapters, and started plugging in the elements I knew I wanted in the locations I wanted them. Then I filled in the blank spaces by asking myself “how do we get from X plot element to Y plot element in Z amount of chapters.” I’m not a mountain climber, but I’ve often thought about the first things that go into the spreadsheet in terms of mountain climbing terminology.  In climbing, a crux move, which can be anywhere along the route, is the most difficult move of the route: if you can’t do it, you can’t do the route. I think of the first things that go into the planning spreadsheet as the crux moves of the story, the most important pieces around which everything else turns. It was not an accident that those were also all the first scenes of the fic that I wrote; if I couldn’t do those scenes, I couldn’t do the story the way I planned it so I wanted to know early on if I needed to make changes.

Make changes if you have to: even though it helps to have things planned in advance, don’t resist the story if it tries to change on you while you’re writing it. Usually the feeling that you have to make changes stems from having a plot that is not entirely character driven. As you write the story, the characters reveal themselves and sometimes the plot has to change to change with the characters’ motivations. Here’s an area where fanfic writers have a leg up on everyone else: if you write fic, you already know the characters really well. That means, (in my experience anyway) it’s less likely that you’ll have a surprise character development which leads to a rethinking of the whole plot. Less likely, but not completely unlikely, unfortunately.

Lie to yourself: The False and the Fair was supposed to be 90k words. I thought that sounded reasonable, a little less than 3x the longest fic I had ever written. Now it's 161k and will probably top out a little over 170k. Ooops. But I never would have set out to write something that long. I wouldn’t have thought I could do it, even though anyone more experienced looking at my plans for the fic probably would have laughed at the idea I could cover all those plot points in 90k. Ignorance is bliss. Protect your ignorance.

Scrivener: Long fic for me means “fic that is long enough you can’t hold all the parts of it in your head at once.” That’s where Scrivener comes in (or another app if you’d rather, but I really like Scrivener for the ability to see the project either linearly or as condensed notecards). You can put together an organizational scaffold in Scrivener that allows you to move back and forth between the forest and the trees. So, for instance, you might be going for a jog and come up with the perfect line of dialogue for chapter 27 when you’re only up to chapter 5 in terms of writing progress. With Scrivener, you can go home, and put that dialogue in the “bucket”/index card/whatever for chapter 27 without compromising your ability to see chapter 5 clearly or muddying up your google doc. You can then use the fact that you’ve started writing bits and pieces of the later chapters in conjunction with the tool of lying to yourself that, actually, you’ve written a lot more of the fic than you realize and that when you get to chapter 27 it won’t be as hard as chapter 5 because you’ve put in the groundwork already. In my experience, this lie turns out to be true about 50% of the time, which is better than 0% of the time.

Digestible mini arcs: The False and the Fair was originally broken up into thirds. I thought it would be 90k and 30k was the longest I had written, so thirds seemed to make sense. Also, 3 is a nice, time honored storytelling number. I think it’s good to give yourself seemingly achievable milestones along the way to completion. These milestones (for me anyway) lined up well with the “crux moments” I’ve described. If you’re someone who likes to write out of order, writing your way to an already written milestone can feel like sailing to an island where you get to rest for a bit from the stormy seas before setting out for the next island in the archipelago.

“It's all part of the process”: I’m categorically incapable of describing things without resorting to running metaphors, and so I apologize in advance, but I am now going to do the insufferable thing of comparing writing a long fic to running a marathon. Here’s the thing with a marathon. You are not going to feel good every step of the way. We all know this. It’s a marathon, it’s supposed to hurt a little bit, especially at the end. In the same way you literally cannot write something novel length or even novella or long short story length without, at least at some point, feeling bad about yourself and your writing. But you also can’t run a marathon if the whole thing is agony, and for most people, it’s not--your meat sack shuffling along the course is subjected to the slings and arrows of all sorts of weird body chemistry that only happens when you push it to its limits. So, you’ll be in agony and then the endorphins will kick in for a while and you’ll be thinking “this isn’t nearly as bad as everyone said,” and then you’ll drink some water at a rest stop and feel like a God for half a mile before you crash and you’re in agony again until that one perfect song comes up on the playlist...and you get the idea. Writing something long, for me at least, is a bit like that. There are massive ups and downs. The key for me is to just understand it’s all part of the process, a necessary step on the way to the finish line. If the fic is 10 chapters long, at some point you have to write chapter 5. Just like you have to write chapter 5, at some point you also have to go through a bit of despair before reaching the end. It is unfortunately non-optional. In fact, despairing is something you can check off your list each time you’ve done it. Cut dialogue tags, check. Feel awful about my writing for thirty minutes, check. Write ending section, check. Often I feel that the stress and shame and fear that come with bad emotions while writing are worse than the bad emotions themselves. It really helps me to remember these emotions are all part of the process and nothing to worry about. If I didn’t have them, then I would worry! 

I certainly have plenty more to say about writing, but this ramble has gone on long enough. If you’re interested in any of this stuff, please feel free to send me an ask. 

I would also love to know more about everyone else’s writing processes, so feel free to pop into my ask box to talk about your own approach too! I am very interested in this stuff! 

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Things I’ll Never Say

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32  🡪chapter 33 🡪chapter 34

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

If I could say what I want to say I'd say I want to blow you, away Be with you every night Am I squeezing you too tight If I could say what I want to see I want to see you go down On one knee Marry me today Guess, I'm wishing my life away With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good It's just a waste of time What use is it to you What's on my mind If ain't coming out We're not going anywhere So why can't I just tell you that I care

click here to be on the update list

DEVON

                                                  I woke up with a groan and felt my head throb and ache just like it would do if I was hungover. I hadn't had a single drop even if I should have when I remembered the way I painted and for how long. I was pretty sure I had fallen asleep on the floor but when I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was Niall's pretty face very close to mine.

My heart jumped in my chest and my lips parted before I licked them. He was sleeping and he looked so peaceful and motionless that I started wondering if he was actually breathing. I slipped my hand under the cover to reach for his naked chest and held my breath at how warm his skin was. It was a miracle my cold hand didn't wake up up but I still waited a few seconds, trying to feel his heart beating in his chest.

Every time I looked at him, I felt something twist in my stomach. I knew he wanted us to be official and if I listened to my heart, that's what I wanted too, but risking it was so scary I couldn't find the courage to give in to his request. I thought about Henry and how he had broken me, and I thought about Abby and how Niall could break me even more. There was no was I could heal my heart if he hurt me, it would be turned to complete dust and I knew it.

I found myself jealous of the way Niall was in love with Abby, and how he would have done anything for her. I was jealous of a past relationship of the man I had refused to date and I hated myself for it. I knew it wasn't rational and that it made no sense but I couldn't help it.

Perhaps, if I had met Niall before I met Henry... maybe if he had met me before he met Abby... In that specific case, maybe we could give each other the chance and the love we both deserved. The problem was that we both went through the exact same thing, or almost, and apparently, two persons who went through the same thing can understand each other, but can't help each other. I didn't know how true that saying was but I had heard it enough to hear it echo in my head every time I wanted to love again.

I brought my hand up to his face and brushed my fingertips on his cheek so softly that I felt a shiver run in my back. One of my fingers reached his bottom lip and I felt myself tear up. I had never met in my life a man like Niall and he was slipping through my fingers because of my fears and anticipations. It was unfair, and it was stupid, but the knot in my stomach was there permanently and I couldn't make it disappear. All the feelings that came back when I saw Henry again made me remember how bad love hurts and at that exact moment, laying in bed in front of Niall, I knew it was true.

I desperately wanted to kiss him but I knew he didn't want us to do anything anymore so I just swallowed hard and got out of the bed slowly. I searched for my painting and found it on the desk in a corner of the room, sighing low. I hated it and started nibbling on my bottom lip, trying to remember that I always hated my art in the first few days after making it, and that it was normal. Besides, artists are the worst critics of their own art.

I heard Niall move in bed and turned around just in time to see him reach for a pillow and bring it against him. He let out a short whimper and it made me wonder if he would have cuddled me if I was still in bed. I shook my head, trying to push that thought away, and finally search for a pen in the room, finally finding one in one of the drawers. I sat on the couch and started scribbling a few words on a paper. I really sucked at writing songs, but I could clearly remember a melody, especially one that really touched me, and it came in handy at that moment.

When I was done, I re-read what was written on the paper and raised my nose up before sighing again and folding the sheet, putting it away in my bag. I decided to take a quick shower to take the paint off my arms and face and when I walked back in the room, Niall was awake. I stopped walking and held my breath at the sight of his naked back. It's not like I had never seen Niall only wearing boxers but perhaps knowing I'm never get to touch him again made something twist in my stomach.

"Oh, hey." he let out when he turned around. "How did you sleep?"

I wanted to tell him that I slept better than I had in a while, if only because he was with me in the same bed. When I woke up, I felt the warmth of his body emanate on mine even if we weren't touching and I loved it way too much. I couldn't tell him that it would have been even better if he was holding me all night, but I wanted to, because I felt it all over my body. I felt it so intensely that I had to swallow a lump in my throat.

"Was nice, and you?"

"Good, thanks." he said, putting on sweatpants. "Better than the floor."

I sent him a small smile that he sent back and I licked my lips. "Thanks for bringing me in bed and tucking me in, last night. I vaguely remember."

"You're welcome, Devie."

I felt my heart flutter at the nickname and I realized I'd never get over it.

"So, you're going skiing today?"

"Snowboarding, yea." he let out, searching for his stuff in his bags. "You're gonna join us downstairs in a few hours?"

I nodded quickly and pressed my lips together as I stared at him. I loved how he moved around the room like it was just a random day and we were just used tp be around each other like that. To some extent, we were, since we shared the same room on campus, but it felt slightly different at that moment, more intimate, maybe. I let my mind wander, imagining what it would be like if we ended up dating and living together. Was that what I would see in the morning before he actually went to work?

"Okay, I'm ready. I'll see you later?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Mmhm." I nodded as I imagined him walking closing to me and bending down to kiss me.

Why did I like this scenario so much it made my heartbeats accelerate? I watched him leave and when the door closed behind him, I felt extremely empty and lonely. I got up after a few minutes and walked to my painting again, running my fingertips slowly on the colors I had used. Was it crazy to start painting with light colors so early after a break up? I turned my head to look at the door, hoping it would open again as my heart thumped hard in my chest. It was Niall, I knew it. It was him that brought in me all these new emotions and I liked it so much I felt myself tear up.

Without thinking, I searched through my bag and found a few pictures I had taken. I had taken the time to develop them by myself in the college darkroom and I had loved the result. Despite myself, the lights had added a few pale yellow spots and it looked amazing. At first, I wanted to numerize them and modify them but I realized I didn't need to.

I sat in bed and looked at them carefully. There were no full faces on any of them. My favorite was one of  Niall's naked shoulder with a bit of his back and hair. We could also see the top of my head and part of my forehead in it too as I lied down beneath him, and his fingers were slipped in my hair. I had no idea why this specific shot made me feel emotional but it was strong and it made something twist in my chest.

I got up and grabbed the piece of paper I had put in my bag earlier before I walked to the desk, sitting down in front of it. Slowly and carefully, I copied the lyrics I had scribbled while Niall was asleep behind the picture, along with a few lyrics that didn't belong to me. I had taken a lot of pictures in my life, but nothing like this one. Perhaps it was only because it meant so much to me... because he meant so much to me. It actually made me want to pain that picture and I quickly grabbed a blank canvas from my stuff before grabbing a pen. I was never really good at drawing people, I felt like the human body was too complex to draw, but I decided to make an exception this time. It didn't really matter anyway. When I'd add paint, the forms wouldn't be as defined and even if I knew nothing could be better than the actual picture, I felt like not painting it would eat me up inside.

I couldn't tell how long it took me but when I didn't stop until I was done. Normally, a painting like that could take me many days to create but somehow, it had turned out the way I wanted after only a few hours. I left it on the floor and decided to finally take an other shower, if only to take the paint from my hands, arms and face. I got out and quickly dressed before checking my phone. I had no message and I raised my nose up, telling myself they were probably busy skiing but I still decided to get downstairs, to the common living room. I loved how all the couches were placed with a fireplace in the middle. The first thing that made my heart jump in my chest was a laughter. I recognized it because I had to hear it for hours on a certain night and every time, it made my heart drop in my chest. Today was no exception. My eyes roamed around and found Abby who was laughing, throwing her head back. She was still wearing her beanie and coat and when I noticed Niall was the one she was talking with, I felt nauseous. He laughed too before taking a sip of his drink and Abby moved closer, placing her hand on his arm and letting it slip down.

I swallowed hard, knowing it probably meant nothing but telling myself that if this simple gesture made me feel like that, I'd never be able to be around Niall if he was dating an other girl, especially if that girl was Abby.

I held my breath and my lips parted when Niall turned around and our eyes met. I felt myself tear up and shook my head lightly before turning on my heels and leaving. I tried to keep my tears in, knowing it was ridiculous to be sad for that, and just as I was reaching the elevator, I felt his warm hand on my arm.

"Hey, Devie, where are you going?" he asked softly as I turned around. His face changed when he saw mine and took a step closer. "Woah, what's wrong, why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying!" I let out a bit too roughly, taking a step back. "I didn't want to annoy you while you were flirting with your ex girlfriend."

"Devie, we weren't flirting." he argued. "At least, I was not."

"She was all over you." I just replied.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So? That's what Abby does! Besides, you're texting with Henry and I haven't thrown a tantrum about it!"

"I'm not texting with Henry, what are you talking about?"

"You told me he messaged you when we were at my apartment!" he pointed out, making me frown.

"Yes! But I never said I answered him!" I let out a but louder. "Because I didn't!"

His face changed, his traits softened and he took a step closer. "You didn't?"

His voice was low and gentle and it calmed me instantly.

"No. I want to move on from him, I don't love him anymore."

Once again, Niall took a step closer and took his beanie off. I felt my lips curl very slightly on the light at the sight of his hair and he quickly passed his hand in it, messing it even more. He looked so pretty I felt my head tilt a bit on the right.

"If... If it makes you feel better, I don't have feelings for Abby anymore either. I can't even understand why I ever was in love with her." he added with a shrug. "Not that you really care, because you don't love me like that, right?"

I stared at him and blinked a few times, trying to decide what I was supposed to say. I could be mad at him but I loved the way he was looking at me, as if I was the only person that mattered in the world, as if he was about to jump on me to make me feel all the damn feelings he had for me inside him.

"Did I say that?" I just asked with an amused smile before licking my lip, taking a step back.

"Hey, stay with us, we were about to go out for dinner." he quickly proposed as we heard the doors of the elevator open. "You came here to spend time with your friends, right?"

My eyes roamed on him and I finally nodded. "Alright."

----

Niall was still telling me a story when we walked back in our room. It was late but neither of us really cared. I had a small talk with Louis who presented me his new girlfriend Eleanor, and I immediately liked her. Lewis was funny and the way Daxia looked at him made me happy. I tried not to give too much attention to Noah but he still bought me a drink and we had a small chat. All I wanted, though, was to be close to Niall, and I ended up scared he'd be annoyed that I followed him better than his own shadow. At some point, he had placed his hand on my thigh, moving closer to me to ask me if I wanted an other drink, but all I could think about was the fact that he was touching me.

We didn't drink too much though and when we closed the door of our room behind us, I was laughing because he was funny, and not because I was tipsy. He turned around and took a few steps back as I followed him, but when his lips curled into a cheeky smile, it made me frown.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked, unable to stop smiling.

"Are you tired?"

I frowned more but it only made his smile bigger. "Mm, no. Why?"

"Do you trust me?"

That question took me by surprise but I didn't have to ask myself the question. The answer came naturally. "Yes."

And I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted pretty much anyone, and it was one of the things that scared me in this relationship, whatever it was.

"Thank you." he just whispered, holding out his hand to me.

I breathed in but still slipped my palm on his and quickly, he pulled me out of the room. Instead to take the elevators, he brought me to the stairs and we ran down until the main floor, stopping abruptly in front of a door. I held my breath as Niall opened it very slowly, peeking out for a few seconds and finally holding his hand back for me. I grabbed it and he turned around to look in my eyes, bringing his finger on his lips to tell me to keep quiet. I nodded and followed him on the other side of the door until we reached a second door. He tried to open it but groaned and raised his nose up when he realized it was locked.

"Fuck."

I moved to look through the window and my lips curled when I noticed a pool. The lights of the room were off but there were a few at the bottom of the pool and the sight was great.

"I'm gonna try to steal the keys." he added, taking me out of my thoughts and making me blink.

"No wait!" I stopped him in a whisper, holding his arm. "What if you get caught?"

He sent me a small smile and his eyes roamed on my face before he shook his head. "Don't worry."

He left and I felt my hand slip from his arm. I held my breath and remained motionless as I waited for him to come back and it seemed to take forever. When he appeared again, my heart jumped in my chest, scared that it could be someone else, but he stopped right in front of me as I raised my eyebrows. A smirk quickly draw itself on his lips and he moved his hand up, showing me a  keychain with at least 20 keys on it.

"Okay, I'm impressed." I admitted low, making him chuckle.

It took him a few tries and he finally unlocked the door. We walked in slowly and when he closed the door behind us, I turned around to look at him.

"I don't have a swimsuit." I admitted, tilting my head.

"You have underwear." he chuckled, making me raise my eyebrows. "What? Nothing I haven't seen, isn't it what you said the other day?"

I pressed my lips together and moved my chin in his direction. "You, first."

He chuckled again and without hesitation, grabbed the bottom of his shirt, moving it over his head. I let my eyes travel on his chest as he worked on the button and zipper of his jeans, finally taking them off along with his socks. He looked way too good, illuminated by the soft lights in the pool, and my heart skipped a beat. I moved my gaze up until my eyes met his again and he sent me a soft smile.

"Your turn."

[earthstellar]

TFP Megatronus x Orion Pax Experimental Concept Playlist: The Timescale of Cybertronian Lives + Music from 1890 - 2021

I know there are tons of playlists for these characters out there, but I’m trying to do something a little less conventional with this one; Please hear me out! 

Two Playlists in One: Love Throughout The Ages 

The first half of this playlist is almost all new music mixed in with some hits from the 60s, 70s, 80s, etc. to give variety, plus tracks from different genres so that hopefully everyone has a song they can enjoy in there somewhere.

For the second half of the playlist, I wanted to emphasise the idea of how long the war on Cybertron has been going on for, and just how old this conflict and the people involved actually are. 

Cybertronian Timescale: Long Lives and The Perception of Time 

We think of the Orion Pax / Megatronus stage of their relationship as being relatively brief, which it was in comparison to how long the war has been going on for as of TFP, but these are people who live for centuries. The scope of that is staggering. 

Optimus Prime and Megatron have known each other personally (either positively or negatively) for longer than modern human civilisation has existed. 

So to me, the best way to touch on that idea of time, musically, is to have the first half of the playlist be modern music, remixes, etc. and then the second half is well known and lesser known hits throughout early radio/TV (with many tracks on this playlist pre-dating those forms of media as well). 

What’s on the Playlist, Then?

My grandmother was born in 1914, and her music collection spans nearly 100 years. It’s all good stuff.

I have included some of her favourites, which she always called her “sweetheart jingles”, on this soundtrack. I think many of them work surprisingly well for the Megatronus/Orion Pax relationship.

Many of these songs will probably be unknown by the vast majority of people who might want to listen to this playlist, which is also appealing to me. (I hope if this is your first time hearing some of these, that you enjoy a few of them!)

My parents were born in 1944, and I remember all of the classics they would play; Some of those tracks will be more recognisable as this was the era when radio and TV became far more common and accessible, but I picked the tracks that I think best apply to the pairing and the relationship between the two characters at that point in their lives. 

The link to the playlist is below after some notes on Cybertronian language evolution! 

Quick Thought: Cybertronian Language Over Time and Era Specific Speech Patterns 

While thinking about my grandmother’s music collection as I assembled this playlist, I thought about some of the words and phrases she used commonly that are now totally non-existent in modern conversational English. 

She had what would probably sound to most people like “1930s radio voice” or a more Trans-Atlantic Accent way of speaking; She grew up in the Northeast USA and so she had a very distinctive way of stressing the vowels in words. It’s not just the words themselves, or how they were pronounced, but the tone and pace of speech was also very different. 

This got me thinking about Cybertronians, age, and speech:

Bots as old as Ratchet may have grown up with a totally different spoken language version of Cybertronian, and we already know that there are regional dialects, multiple written forms (glyphs), and era-specific types of Cybertronian language. 

But the way they speak, as I mentioned above with the stressing of vowels and the tone and pace of speech, might still be different due to the different eras, even after language packs/programs are downloaded and updated periodically as needed. We already know Cybertronians have regional accents, so it stands that generational accents would also possibly exist as well. 

Such a difference in speech patterns could possibly be used as a primary indicator of relative age on Cybertron, as physically they don’t age in the sense human beings do. 

Back to the Playlist: Link + Track List + Notes on Audio Prior to 1930

The playlist is here on YouTube. 

Scroll down to get to the second half (oldies section) if that’s what you’re here for! 

Please note that the songs are not arranged in any particular order aside from the first half being newer music and the second half being far older music.

Also note, where original recordings are available on YouTube for some of the older songs, I have used those original recording versions. 

However, keep in mind that there may be a couple seconds of “fuzz” at the top (start) of those older tracks, because they have been recorded from records or wax cylinders, which are formats of music that typically had a “pause” on the track to allow for needle and speed calibration when playing them manually. Modern records don’t do this in quite the same way and nobody uses wax cylinders anymore, but older records typically did. If this bothers you, skip ahead about two seconds or so, and it will resolve. 

Tempo may seem slightly “fast” on two of the tracks due to difficulties with the medium and modern recording tech/methods, and one track has some persistent “fuzz” throughout due to the original recording being rare and therefore it is a “best copy available” type archival recording, but otherwise I’ve managed to find the clearest audio possible for the vast majority of the older songs! 

(Fun music note, the “click track” in modern digital music was partially inspired by the clicking of the needle hitting the “countdown grooves” on old cylinders and records, which creates an audible mild clicking sound as the needle finds the groove and provides time for usually a half rotation or full rotation of the record before the track actually begins to allow for adjustment before the music starts! If the clicking is too fast, dial down the rotation speed, for example. 

This itself was inspired by classical metronomes as well as the actual physical method of playing the music in this way, but it’s cool to see how this persists throughout musical history even now when we don’t need the click for digital production for quite the same reasons/applications. It’s all about timing, no matter the medium or era!)

Due to the method of how some player piano rolls were credited, often by roll company and not by individuals, the actual artist name is often not available for those tracks. Where possible and where known, I have included credits to the artists/musicians. I have done my best to research and find the artists in these recordings. 

I have also included orchestrions and other “automated” music in addition to a player piano track as I think it’s interesting; These are often very old compositions being played on these machines, and as such are designed to reflect the earliest days of their relationship. 

Songs range from the years 1890 to 2021, and I will add more as I manage to find YouTube videos with some of the older songs I’m still looking for. 

By the way, if you need a love song for like an actual partner or crush that you have, I’m just going to say it now and point out that a lot of these classics are great to use in real life for cute purposes. My partner of ten years agrees, and my grandparents were married for over 60 years and sang many of these daily, so obviously something here works well. You’re welcome. ;) 

Below the cut is a track list of the second half of the playlist, as it’s 7 AM and I’d like to emphasise the “classics” section here as it’s the central theme of the concept.

I will add to this list as more tracks are added:

You’re the Top - Cole Porter

What is this Thing Called Love - Leslie Hutchinson 

I Get a Kick Outta You - Cole Porter 

Puttin on the Ritz - Phil Spitalny Orchestra

What a Day - Carl Fenton

Come Fly With Me - Frank Sinatra

Earth Angel - The Penguins

Ring a Ding Ding - Frank Sinatra 

In my Merry Oldsmobile - Billy Murray

Singin in the Rain - Gene Kelly

Dream a Little Dream of Me - Doris Day

Unforgettable - Nat King Cole 

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Elvis Presley 

Good Golly Miss Molly - Little Richard

Bei Mir Bist du Schoen - The Andews Sisters

Shine on Harvest Moon - Ruth Etting 

1920s Dance Sequence from Don’t Knock the Rock

In the Mood -Glen Miller Orchestra

Dream Lover - Bobby Darin 

When the Ragtime Army Goes Away to War (Artist Unknown) 

After You’ve Gone - J. Lawrence Cook 

My Sin (Artist Unknown) 

Flick Flack by Albert Vossen (Unsure; Song + Artist Unknown; Orchestrion) 

Lotosblumen Walzer by E. Ohlsen (Hupfeld Violina) 

Waltz no.2 - Dmitri Shostakovich 

Jupiter - Gustav Holst 

Love Potion no. 9 - The Clovers (Please note, this song mentions the word “g*psy” once in the beginning of the track. Skip this song if you would prefer not to hear it; I have done my best to only include songs that are friendly to the modern listener, but where needed I will make annotations such as this one to ensure nobody has to hear anything potentially offensive, as is unfortunately often the case with older music/lyrics.)

Come a Little Bit Closer - Jay and the Americans 

Sh-Boom - The Crew Cuts

Oh Boy - Buddy Holly

[r3volutionary-queen]

Hey girl, it’s me again!

I am so glad to hear from you! Anyhoo, last time I sent you some appreciation, and I’m going to do that again (for something else this time), but I’m also gonna serve it up with a side of questions. Here goes:

The playlist you made for Ignition is amazing! I know quite a few writers share some of the music that helps them write/inspires them, but (sad confession) I don’t often pay them that much mind. (Yes, I know, that’s poor decision making on my part) But for some reason, on a whim, I happened to click the link to your Spotify playlist many months back, and ever since, A LOT of those songs have become favorites of mine. “Meet me on the battlefield”, “Dead in the water”, “Glitter & Gold”, and all Hidden Citizens songs are among my top faves.

So that being said here’s my questions: 1) where do you find some of these songs?Aside from the instrumental soundtrack pieces and the hand full from easily recognizable artists, I had never heard of the vast majority of these songs/artists. And I should have because they’re amazing. Also, 2) do you have any other music recommendations?

Thanks! ❤️😁

Ahhh! Someone loves my playlists! This got me smiling so fucking big 😂 Thank you, friend!! I love putting those together and am pretty picky about what kind of music I write to or what inspires my work.

Meet Me on the Battlefield is hands down my number one Stucky song. It fits those two SO well. Dead in the Water has always been a Darcy song. It just feels like her (Ignition Darcy, that is) to me, you know? I’m seriously geeking out over this ask lmao.

As for your questions:

1.) First off, everything I choose for my writing playlists is all about the mood, the feelings it invokes. So I typically choose music that has more of a dramatic/moody vibe to it (esp. for Ignition). Ruelle, for example, was an artist I found when writing NGL back in the day. She had a lot of that specific feel I was looking for and then honestly, Spotify started suggesting a lot of artists or songs and I went down a rabbit hole and found a bunch of stuff I liked. Now it suggests a lot of similar type of music. I also get sent a lot of songs from readers who get reminded of a character or a scene or a pairing, I’ll often add those to my playlist.

2.) Oh boy. This will be a very random list but here are some fav artists. Ruelle, The Civil Wars (they broke up but their stuff is great and one of the artists released her own work, Joy Williams), Fleurie (she has a song called ‘Soldier’ that fits Bucky really well), Simon (look up ‘Down’ by them ft. Trella and ‘My Kingdom’ ft. IOLITE), The xx, Robinson, Ursine Vulpine/Annaca, Jill Andrews... I’ll stop there 😂

Enjoy!!

[hlupdate]

On November 18, 2019, a website promoting a mysterious place called Eroda (“No Land Quite Like It”) arrived on the internet. Two days later, the official Twitter account for this fictional frown-shaped island began teasing local seaside attractions. You may have missed it, depending on which corners of the internet you choose to lurk, but not if you were a Harry Styles fan, a group that went into pure overdrive trying to figure out what it all meant.

I, for one, missed it at the time. I was unaware this account was cryptically quote tweeting fans as they tried to piece together what was happening, what it meant, and what it could be connected to (Greek Mythology and Lostwere a couple of theories posed in comments, Twitter threads, and Reddit). Meanwhile, the Columbia Records marketing department had been hard at work for months, devising this specific and highly-detailed campaign around the music video for Styles’ second single, “Adore You” from his second solo album, Fine Line, ever since he shot the video in Scotland in August 2019 (Eroda = Adore backwards — clever!).

But it was all leading up to the morning of Friday, December 6 when the video was released, one week before the full-length album arrived. Up until that point, I had never seen an entire Harry Styles music video, but what happened next was inevitable. Somehow, as a self-proclaimed boy band scholar, I had never paid much attention to One Direction. I kept a distant eye on Styles since they disbanded, intrigued by the decisions he was making in his solo career. But I hadn’t yet realized I’d been in the ring all throughout the fall of 2019, fighting to resist the inevitable fascination that awaited. First came the jab of Rob Sheffield’s Rolling Stoneprofile, followed by the cross of “Lights Up”, a song that cracked my Top 20 most listened to songs of the year despite being released just two months before Spotify so thoughtfully compiled that personalized playlist. Then there was the hook of his SNL hosting stint in November (and bless you Bowen Yang for that Sara Lee sketch), which then leads us to the “Adore You” video, the uppercut and ultimate TKO. I surrendered in what felt like a near instant. I was now a Harry Styles fan. (If we’re following this analogy, I sat up to spit out some blood after seeing that cover of “Juice” before my head quickly hit the mat again with a loud thud).

Maybe it’s not quite remarkable that I took time out of a Friday morning to watch a music video, but that I sat at my desk, in an office, with other people around (back when we did those kinds of things) and proceeded to wipe away a few tiny tears from under my eyes by the end of it, was an experience I had not been through… maybe ever? In a world of lyric videos and TikToks, actual, thoughtful, impactful music videos with a full (and sweet!) story are about as rare as a glowing and growing fish these days.

Ultimately, “Adore You” does everything a music video should do. In nearly eight minutes, this video uses excellent visual effects in a cool and interesting way, tells a compelling and heartfelt story, is anchored by an irresistible leading man and an adorable sidekick, is backed up by the catchiest song you could ever dream of, and culminates with a touching and hopeful ending. It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears and the soul. It’s innovative and the kind of thing that begs you to watch it more than once to catch all the details (and yes, I do tear up every time).

So one would think that an award show with the specific purpose of celebrating this type of creativity would be extra sure to nominate such a charming and effective clip, but alas, “Adore You” was overlooked in the MTV Video Music Awards main categories this year. Of course, some could argue that that fact only adds to the video’s credibility but I’ll do my best to not be that petty as I’m still rooting for it to win in the three technical categories where it picked up nominations: Best Visual Effects by Mathematic, Best Art Direction by Laura Ellis Cricks, and Best Direction by Dave Meyers, who remains one of the most inventive and influential directors of all time and whose videos with artists such as Missy Elliot, Pink, and Kendrick Lamar have been racking up nominations for nearly 20 years now. He also saw four other videos he directed get recognized this year: Normani’s “Motivation” (Best Chorography), Travis Scott’s “Highest in the Room” (Best Hop Hop and Best Visual Effects), Anderson .Paak’s “Lockdown” (Video For Good), and Camila Cabello feat. DaBaby’s “My Oh My” (Best Cinematography).

But I reached out to Meyers to specifically ask about the intricate details of “Adore You” and how it all came to be; how he captured such a vibe with the overcast and dreary weather, mixed so wonderfully with the charming oddities of the people that make up this world of Eroda. In addition to directing the video, he also co-wrote the story with Chris Shafer and said, “It’s the first idea that popped to mind after the first listen to the song, and the first idea I pitched to Harry. It was a story that underscored my understanding of what Harry stood for and felt it was necessary to tell it as a narrative to convey his optimism.”

The extended version of the video starts with a two-and-a-half-minute introduction to the world of Eroda, narrated by Rosalia. This includes the “peculiar” people and their professions on the island, meeting The Boy (Styles) and his glowing smile that most people try to avoid, and the quirky superstitions these people continue to live by. “It all served a purpose,” Meyers said of the details. “The superstitions were a set up for how society generally reacts to different things. They fear change or oddity, even if it’s what’s best for them.”

Meyers, however, did not share in that fear, as much of this video provided for interesting and new opportunities he had yet to experience throughout his decades-long career, which he listed off: ”Compelling narrative, CG character, remote location, Scottish crew (nothing fazed them),” also noting that all of the other characters in the video were locals as well. So perhaps they were less fazed by the atmosphere across the four-day shoot in Scotland, but as Meyers recalled, the “weather was nuts. It rained every 20 minutes, then the sun, then cloud over.”

However, it’s likely that Mother Nature is also a Styles fan, as Meyers recalled, “I seem to remember going up on the hill for Harry’s picnic with the fish and being worried that it was so gloomy. By the time we came to shoot, the sun came out. And then the sun went away as soon as the scene was over. Similarly, we had the worst storm when Harry was contemplating suicide at the start. Pouring rain, drenching him. So I guess in that sense it was fun watching how Scotland provided a backdrop for the emotions we were after.”

And hey, at least they had the weather on their side to add to the mood while shooting the video, as one of their main characters, well, didn’t exist. “It was very odd shooting with no fish,” Meyers admitted. “But was quite rewarding later seeing it dropped in and making empathic sense to the story we were after.”

Of course, the main character they did have on hand is an awfully useful and appealing one at that. Fans became enamored with the moment Styles uses the back of his hand to check the temperature of a coffee pot before dumping the fish inside the water so it could stay alive. I asked Meyers about this particular moment and he said, “The problem we had was apparent when Harry ran in and threw the fish in the pot. We all sorta felt — well, what if it was hot? So I believe Harry improvised that as a solution and we felt it was perfect for the character’s sensitivity and consideration for this poor fish.” And that’s not the only nice thing he does for his fish friend — he also serves him a tiny taco! “The taco was a whimsical way to express friendship between Harry and the fish,” Meyers offered. It looked pretty tasty, too.

The entire video serves as a showcase for what Styles does best and what makes him such a unique artist: his music, his acting, and his charisma, which Meyers knew would offer him a lot to work with. “Harry is a leading man. I felt that from my first meeting and wanted to play with his wonderful range of emotions. So finding a story with a real character arc was part of my focus in building this world.” Meyers described working on “Adore You” as an “all-around memorable shoot: awesome location, lovely Harry, compelling story, great effects, and… it worked.”

It did. And it was a risk: a video this complex and detailed (and one has to assume, costly), attached to a marketing campaign that proved to be even more involved, still came with no guarantee that the fans wouldn’t shrug it off. But as Manos Xanthogeorgis, SVP of Digital Marketing & Media at Columbia Records told Billboard last year, “When you have a video and a piece of art at such a level, it’s an incredible challenge for the rest of the team to build a campaign at that same level of artistry and creativity.” Oh, and that was only step one, as the marketing team engaged in “real-time marketing” with fans online, ensuring they would continue to remain engaged by dropping clues and clips in the lead-up to the video premiere and subsequently the album. “This whole campaign was around mystery and sometimes mystery is more powerful than knowledge,” Xanthogeorgis said. The Twitter handle has remained active throughout 2020, used as a continual marketing tool for Styles’ next videos including the Meyers-directed “Falling” and this summer’s hit, “Watermelon Sugar.”

With that kind of fan engagement, “Adore You” seemed like a no-brainer for the fan-voted categories of the VMAs this year, as they surely would’ve turned out to vote just as feverishly for this video as they did when searching for clues (about a made-up island, at that!). But hey, maybe MTV was just not interested in massive fan engagement this year — after all, it’s not like everything Styles does, including growing freakin’ facial hair, has the internet in a tizzy for weeks. Ultimately, as the impact of music videos (and certainly the ceremony celebrating them) continues to lose relevance, the disregard of this specific project simply feels like a missed opportunity to acknowledge a rare achievement in the art form.

While Meyers was sure to describe his inclusion in the VMA nominations this year as “lovely and flattering” (and he better have a moonperson in his possession this time next week, MTV!) it’s still puzzling why “Adore You” wouldn’t be included in the big categories, considering Styles is squarely within their demo, at the very least. That “Adore You” is also a technical and storytelling masterpiece, as well as a full moment that was used as inspiration both for the experience online and in-person at the Fine Line Spotify listening party last December, that also comes packed with one of the most enthusiastic groups of fans around, well, that should have had the entire network drooling.

Of course, some of this can simply be chalked up to a perfect storm. As far as his singles go, “Lights Up” was a nice appetizer, but “Adore You” remains the delicious entree (you already know what’s for dessert). “Adore You” is a perfect pop record if I’ve ever heard one (and I have) and deserved a special video. A Chris Isaak “Wicked Game” sexy vibe wasn’t going to work here. The song tells the story of such passionate, pure, and heartachingly naive and innocent love that it almost had to be directed toward a non-human being. Instead, Styles chose to inject those same carefree, sweaty, sticky, delicious, whimsical beach vibes into the “Watermelon Sugar” clip, which was the right choice, and not just for the summertime season (MTV has since added the Song of Summer category to the VMAs and included “Watermelon Sugar”).

But it’s “Adore You” that has melodies that bring a smile to the faces of babies, get your toes tapping even when you hear it in the dentist’s chair, and likely has my neighbors rolling their eyes when I sing along to it in the shower. The song is so simple it’s deep, a theme reflected in the video, as is the central reminder to help and care for others, a thoroughly 2020 message.

However, not all is lost. Both “Adore You” and “Watermelon Sugar” continue to rack up major spins at radio with the latter hitting number one on the Billboard charts earlier this month. Grammy voting kicks off at the end of September and Academy members should take note. Not only is Fine Line more than worthy of being acknowledged, but having Styles on hand to potentially collect trophies and perform is in your best interest when it comes to viewers and online chatter. Do not wait to take him seriously. This is the album, this is the time. Prove that you aren’t a bunch of stodgy old white men who think he’s just for teen (and um, thirty-something) girls, but that you understand the music he enjoys, is inspired by, and subsequently makes, is the same rock music you appreciate as well. An artist like Styles can be both of those things at the same time, and really, the best of both worlds. Give the album a listen, and then one more to let it all sink in. If you have not yet succumbed to the force that is Harry Styles fandom, I truly can’t recommend it enough — and please know that it will get you eventually.

[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[rpgmgames]

April’s Featured Game: Nobody's Home

DEVELOPER(S): oates ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Survival Horror SUMMARY: After a night of extreme drinking and partying, you wake up in stranger's bed to discover... Nobody's Home.

Buy the game here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *oates: Hi, this is oates! I'm a pixel artist and game developer, I've started making games with rpgmaker in 2016 with VX Ace and now currently using MV for recent projects. Previous projects I've worked on were the FNaF-inspired Souls-like One Night at the Steeze, my first rpgmaker game and it's prequel, the FNaF-inspired roguelike No Delivery. Other games I've worked on include the fangames Day Dreaming Derpy, made in VX Ace and Spike's Day Off, made in MV and the latest in a series of previous fangames previously developed on Adobe Flash.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *oates: Nobody's Home is largely based on my experiments to find and apply horrific elements in modern situations or phenomena. The scenario being explored here in Nobody's Home is the aftermath of some crazy party. Sound design is especially important when crafting a horror scenario, so I often look to music to draw inspiration. Much of the atmosphere and house design was inspired by music and imagery associated with '70s yacht rock (a sub-genre of soft rock). Another important note is a lot of the general mood and 'weirdness' was inspired by a band I listen a lot to, Dance Gavin Dance, specifically their "deathstar" album. However they have a tendency in all their albums to switch genres mid-song, often going from their post-hardcore sound to funk, pop, and even rap; aside from that, some of the subject matter covered can range from disturbing to unpleasant to nonsensical, but combined with the amazing music, it creates an experience that pulls the listener in all different directions. It got to the point that I was naming events in the game after some their tracks so I had to be careful not to inadvertently make a fangame haha But there are some easter eggs in Nobody's Home that were intentionally left in, and I'm fairly certain players have identified it already.

How long did you work on your project? *oates: I used much of the same framework left over from my previous project No Delivery for this development cycle, so the hassle for setting up asset pipelines was very much mitigated. I started in earnest, making assets back in January this year so it took roughly 2+ months to finish development for this project.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *oates: Aside from the previous music inspirations, I was really intrigued with the way Resident Evil 7's Beginning Hour demo was able to pick up where Konami's cancelled PT left off in terms of survival horror games to look forward to back in 2017. Prior to later updates, the initial demo really only included a few set pieces, basic item interaction, and almost no puzzles from the full game. It was largely able to pull off scaring players from almost atmosphere alone (if you exclude the Jack Baker and ghost encounters). It was later in the full game that it was able to show off it's metroidvania-esque design to its fullest. After my previous project, I wanted to step away from roguelike design for a bit and focus a little more on an exploration-based experience, so I took a few notes from the way RE7 and RE2: Remake handled map design and progression.

Did you come across any challenges during development? How did you overcome or work around them? *oates: I was coming off a severe cold last year and it took most of January for me to recover, so it was a little hard to start full-on development immediately like I normally would on top of other career matters. And looking at events today, it's even more imperative that developers practice healthy habits during development.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *oates: I've had the idea for Nobody's Home as a concept for a while, but filling in those gaps with actual gameplay between centerpieces was a big variable. I went back and forth between the turn-based item combat from the previous project to cutting out combat entirely. While I didn't implement it, I also brainstormed a few concepts for overworld action and combat ala Zelda, but it seemed too complex given the time frame I set for myself. Eventually I settled on a middle ground between full combat and separate encounters, with "enemies" acting as essentially a toll gate. The rest of the game followed suit with various tolls and "mouse traps" for the player to trigger at their own behest. This wasn't necessarily the design I had in mind at first, but it helped to concisely fill a relatively small location with specifically "deadly" content.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *oates: I largely work solo for both development and art, but I do regularly work with a few musicians for an original soundtrack. I first started working with other composers for the fangame Day Dreaming Derpy, where after the initial demo was released, I received emails from a few musicians volunteering to contribute some tracks for the game. In all, the original soundtrack contained 9 tracks in total, with 3 tracks from each composer; each of them doing an amazing job and, in my opinion brought the project back then to a higher degree of quality. This was how I met some of the composers I still work with today and they all have some really great work! TheNGVirus @NGVirusNG1 Kaminakat @thekaminakat dRedder @HornyGremlin

What is the best part of developing a game? *oates: It's a toss up between the initial brainstorming/research and the first run-through when you have your desired maps linked together. For the brainstorming, it's pretty fun to learn about subject matter you want to do justice to as well as stretching your creative muscles for the first time in service to a certain concept. However this obviously wears off when you devote too much time to a particular concept, but it's still enjoyable nevertheless. For making that run-through, it doesn't necessarily mean to have all the events implemented, but to experience your game the way players will experience it for the first time does give a sense of completion/cohesion to what you, as a developer, are trying to accomplish. It essentially puts what you're working on into a different perspective for you.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *oates: I do keep an eye out for what other rpgmaker projects are doing, and to see what others can do with the engine helps get the creative juices flowing; it's also fun to try to mentally reverse engineer how certain mechanics or effects were made. And it's always great to see fellow devs showcase what's possible with the engine.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *oates: Nobody's Home has a relatively small cast of characters, whom you do interact with but never see, this is largely to done to create a sense of "un-relatability", but if I had to pick a character, it'd be "car guy", the guy you find stuck in the car. They have a good line, " ...there'd be a good reason for this, but there isn't..." Story of my life.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *oates: There were a few areas I would have liked to expand on or add, specifically- the attic + roof, the front lawn, behind the walls, and an entire second floor. Unfortunately that meant potentially adding more questlines and NPCs while the first set of questlines were pretty interwoven so it would have been way more complex, also again, given the time frame I set, it would have extended the development cycle way beyond what I had time for. But if I had implemented those extra areas, the game's length would also go way beyond the 30 min - 1 hr it takes to complete the game as it is now.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *oates: I'd like to do both really, each installment of the VCRPG line of games is definitely a stand-alone story, or an isolated incident, but I would love to explore the aftermath of the game's events and how the passage of time ravages and twists the story into urban legend. I like to treat places and environments like characters as well, capable of making memories, being misunderstood, preserved, destroyed, and ultimately capable of change.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *oates: Both the fan reaction and free time honestly speaking. Once the development cycle finishes and the game is published, your work isn't really finished as there's always a chance someone's feedback can apply to immediate changes or patches you can implement, even during the release period. Marketing is also another large step to take into consideration after release, this includes tweeting, sending keys for lets plays, etc. Watching playthroughs is also a really good way to collect data on what parts of your design fall through and what fail to land. But after all that is said and done, some free time really helps the brain recuperate.

Was there something you were afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *oates: Just whether or not I handled the game's subject matter tastefully. Like horror cinema, everything done is in service the the themes and message of the piece as a whole.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *oates: The game engine is essentially a tool, and like any tool you can find plenty of creative ways to get the same result. And don't be afraid to research whatever it is you need help with, it also helps to be specific with what you want.

Question from last month's featured dev @moca-pz: If you can collaborate with any game developer in the world, who would it be? What would be their role(s) and what would be your role(s)? *oates: Game developer I'd like to work with: Hidetaka Miyazaki His role: Story Lead and Director My role: Drinking buddy Game we're working on: SciFi Souls

We mods would like to thank oates for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Nobody's Home if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[rfamess]

This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

V:

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

[a3day]

#GMPD: Jessi (제시)

Feel how you want about it, the fact remains that she has some bonafide hit moments. I never thought I’d explore this so soon in Great Moments in Production & Delivery (GMPD) but it feels like now’s the right time. First, the Disclaimer.

An Album a Day is my exploration into the Korean music scene. This podcast and blog will cover mainstream, indie and some underground artists within the scene and provide both factual and opinionated commentary. The biggest benefit to sharing my thoughts this way is that it will hopefully expose you to more great music and exploration of your own.

Korean American music artist Jessica Ho (Korean: 호현주 [Ho Hyun-joo]) has been in the game since 2005 and her story is one of triumph, setbacks, and hiccups. The New York-born, New Jersey-raised singer, rapper, and songwriter made her debut as a solo artist who then moved into Korean hip-hop trio Lucky J. She made her final appearance with the group in 2014 and then prepared for more solo work. More specifically, her grit and American charisma was personified on the debut season of Unpretty Rapstar (2015) and set her as the second-place winner by audience vote. Since then, the artist I affectionately and teasingly refer to as Capital P (both for the c*nt power and for her shape pre-butt enhancement [I’m top heavy asl too so I know the vibes on being P-shaped lol]) has developed an entertaining catalog.

We’re not talking video content, we aren’t talking aesthetic. We’re not even talking my most favorite track by her of all time (GRAY’s production means I’m already biased sooo yeah). 

This is about the music. In no particular order, here we go.

Who Dat B (2020)

First up is this bop, where the sound engineer put a whole grown foot in the production of the first verse. From 0:14 to a few milliseconds into 0:35, autotune and spatial filters set a mood. She sits on the track, something that is common with Jessi’s delivery, but her trademark ad lib creeps in so resolutely for damn near 3 seconds and it is glorious. The crossover of the reverb and echo effects within 0:32 to 0:35 are a whole chef’s kiss moment.

Cold Blooded teaser (2021)

Laugh if you want to. Laugh if ya want. But the teaser for her most recent 2021 comeback sticks. This isn’t some magical production moment, but it’s a magical choice. Lemme explain. What we hear in the M/V teaser is what was played on set while filming the video. This is the echoey, spatial experience of the music blasting over loud speakers to help everyone stay on count as the women of Street Woman Fighter/스트릿 우먼 파이터 (SWF) do what needs to be done with this choreography. All the same, it creates that fun filter moment that makes you feel like you're standing outside the club or a party you’re hoping to get in to. Think about it! The bass is knocking, the audio’s a bit muffled, and then Jessi’s husky “Huh” comes through with just enough clarity to make you wish you were inside. That’s a great choice, baby.

Gucci (2017)

The husky voice was the meat and potatoes on this track. There’s nothing super-demanding from the music -- it’s fun and structured to let her thrive -- but Jessi sells the hell out of this track. She was in her bag and her voice was deep as hell. You see a platinum blonde woman atop some luggage in a pink cute outfit, and then she comes and drops the octaves on you immediately like a stack of weights. The music drops out for her natural baseline to milk the punch for all its worth. And she’s doin’ the thing, talkin’ mad shit right out the gate within the first few words. Regardless of comprehension, you’re bobbing along to the beat without realizing that you’re bopping to her cadence and tone. The instrumental to this song is simple as hell. You check it and you find yourself enjoying it because of the mere thought of her delivery. That’s a damn win.

염따(YUMDDA) - 9ucci REMIX (2021)

Jessi shines regularly as the sole female on a ratchet track. Fast forwarding to 1:37 (to avoid distractions) and Jessi’s perched on a custom wrapped whip and she’s going in. Her tone is right, she’s playful and flagrant, and took the O-ren Ishii approach in making sure listeners know she’s not playing because hers is the only all-English verse on this Hangul track.

The 2018 summer love track “Down” is a positive showcase of her singing chops. She won’t be blowing socks off with her vocals but you hear control and a truly unique voice amongst a scene that has a lot of similarities for perceived-success’s sake. And there’s this honorable mention for the musicality being so far left for her (and this damn commercial at 1:06 that I spent that whole summer going, “Sheesh! SHEESH!” at because she was just rising in SoKo and her tone and confident strut was everything to me! This is when I started calling her Capital P lolol) but I believe those interested in checking out more of her work have a good jump-off from this. Bye y’all.