#which usually consists of new songs or songs I’ve forgotten about for awhile

[a-bready-music-blog]

As someone with like 80 playlists, I wish you could make folders in Spotify

[x8b-and-rainbow-obsidian]

An Obsidian’s Duty (conversation)

Homeworld had entertainment facilities all over it's cities. Of course, most had shut down since Era 2 started, but the ones that did survive thrived. The concept was that relaxed and happy gems would make more productive gems. However, these places weren't just for any gem. Only gems close to the Diamonds, or those who were of a magnificent cut, were served here.

And now, X8b was one of those allowed entry.

It had been awhile since she had started the job. White Diamond, or rather, her pearl, had been gracious. They hadn't expected X8b to know her job imminently and had given her have five days to get through the basics. After that she had been expected to perform perfectly. So far, it seemed she was performing well, despite...complications.

She sighed and glanced around once more. The building consisted of several steeped terraces. On each layer there were comfortable chairs you could lie on and tables decorated with reflective glass. At the bottom of the pit, there sat a pool of water, with dark gem like shapes swimming underneath. Occasionally there would be a fountain display, or a platform would rise up and several gems would begin a performance. Up above, on the highest layer, sat three huge chairs, with room for a fourth. That is where the Diamonds would have sat, if they came back to this place.

Only the best for the Homeworld elite.

Perhaps she counted as an elite gem now, but it didn't feel right to say. She was a working class gem for the Diamond's sake. Top Tiers were in another class it seemed. Though, X8b couldn't complain, this view was beautiful.

A hush came over the voices of the crowd. X8b was confused, until she glanced over the railing of the terrace to see a platform rise out of the water and several pearls with it.

"My luminous gems." A gem spoke from out of sight (perhaps a Spinel?), "We are honored to present to you the enchanting voices of our very own...pearls!"

The pearls on the stage began to walk away from the center, platforms rising beneath them as they did. It made the illusion of walking on water very believable. When they stopped, it was like the entire room was holding it's breath.

Then the music started.

She had forgotten how beautiful pearl's voices were.

X8b had never owned a pearl, nor had any desire too, but that was only when she wasn't hearing them sing. Perhaps it would have been worth it to get a pearl as a reward, if only to hear this melody whenever she pleased. It swirled in her mind, allowing her thoughts to disappear.

"Hello."

X8b opened her eyes, glancing up at the gem who had just spoken with her. The other Obsidian was a little taller than she was, her gem located on her chest, and her eyes just a little to round. She looked at the seat across from X8b.

"May I sit?"

"You have permission." X8b nodded.

"Thanks X." The Obsidian sat across from her, a smile on their face.

"It's X8b." She sighed, "though I doubt it matters. How are you doing K70?"

K70 grinned, "Just fine." She pulled out the, admittedly less comfortable chair, and sat down, "Oh my, they weren't kidding when they said this place was magnificent."

"Mh, yes." X8b closed her eyes, listening to the music again, "It's almost everything they said it would be."

"In surprise you managed to get entry! You have to go past the Top Teir's for this kind of treatment!"

X8b felt her weight come crashing back to her, "Ah, yes. I suppose so."

"X8b." K70 frowned at her in disappointment, "Don't tell me you went in here without the proper permission!"

"Do I look like the type of gem to do that?" X8b raised her eyebrow at the other, "Please be sensible, you've known me for my whole existence."

"...so how did you manage to book us?" K70 huffed, "The Top Tiers never let anyone take breaks anymore, since Obsidian production was halted we've all been swamped!" "I'm a Top Teir now." X8b replied nonchalantly, ignoring the feeling of how un-right that sounded, "So technically I'm allowed here whenever I please."

K70 gawked at her. When she managed to close her jaw, she whispered, "Why are you joking around? The X8b I knew never joked!"

"I don't joke."

"No. I don't suppose you do." K70 frowned, "But I still don't believe it. You, a Top Tier?"

"What's so hard to believe about it?" X8b turned to look at the pearl's below, "You said it after I finished my training, I had the potential."

"Oh, well, of course you did, it's just-"

"Just what?"

"...your gem placement." K70 replied softly, "The Diamond's usually like to have someone who matches their gem placement to serve them personally. Yours is...kind of off."

"I know." X8b sighed heavily, now very conscious of the gem on her arm, "I was worried about it as well, but White Diamond doesn't-"

K70 stood up suddenly, "You're White's?!" She interrupted.

X8b startled, nearly jumping backwards, "Y-Yes. She uh, she didn't seem to have a problem with it."

"How did you get that position?!"

"I think it's classified, I'm afraid," X8b wasn't exactly lying, she had been told to keep quiet about the circumstances of her ascension, "but it was approved by the Diamond herself and who am I to question my Diamond?"

K70 shook her head, sitting down again, "I can't believe it. You're completely sure?"

"Her pearl told me."

"Well then, congratulations!"

X8b forced a smile on her face, but if felt sour, "It is appreciated."

"So, almighty Top Teir, what bestows me the honor of seeing you tonight?"

The smile softened, and X8b rolled her eyes, "You joke to much. It's going to get you in trouble one of these days."

"What, are you going to tell on me?" K70 raised an eyebrow knowingly.

"It's not that big of an offence."

"I'm glad you care, X. You always were my favorite."

A tall gem came onto the terrace they were sitting at. They started passing out thin containers holding some sort of liquid X8b didn't recognize. When the gem gave her and K70 one each, she found it to be clear, much to her surprise.

"Excuse me, what is this?" She asked, picking up her own.

"It is a drink, ma'am."

"What drink?"

"The compound is called CH3COOH." The server replied, before walking to the next table, filled with opals.

K70 frowned, staring at hers but not touching it, "Why would they give this stuff out? No one needs beverages, they just waste time."

"I think the concept is to indulge yourself momentarily, then purge your body so it remains clean." X8b swirled the bubbling liquid around in her container, "Do you wish to indulge with me?"

"No thank you." K70 wrinkled her nose, "This smells disgusting."

X8b shrugged, bringing the container to her lips. The aroma coming from the liquid was hard to describe. It was sharp, distinctly different from any thing she had smelled before. She let a tiny bit of the liquid in her mouth and the taste overwhelmed her. It burned her nose, prickled her mouth, and made her eyes water.

She choked on it slightly, spitting it back out as quickly as she could.

X8b put the glass back down, squeezing her eyes shut. That was...unpleasant, yet strangely she didn't mind. There was a odd flavor she couldn't quite place, but it was quite powerful.

"Well?" K70 asked.

"I...don't know." X8b frowned, the taste still lingered, "...I've never tasted anything like it."

The other Obsidian shuddered, looking over her shoulder, "Must be an acquired then."

X8b glanced in the direction she was looking in time to see a Morganite take the whole drink and swallow it. What!? How even would you do that?

"Must be." She agreed.

"Guess you'll have to acquire it too, since you're high ranking now."

"If I have to get used to drinking this," X8b gestured to her beverage, "I'd rather be back in training."

K70 laughed, "That's not a good attitude to have! Especially for a Top Tier."

"Very well, but I do have a reason for bring you here besides witty banter."

"Oh?" K70 tilted her head, "And what would my illustrious Top Tier want with me?"

"This is serious. Please, act like it."

"Of course." K70 sighed, "Back to business. What is it X?"

X8b paused, considering what to say. Even after setting up this meeting, she still wasn't sure of herself. This decision would impact K70's life and perhaps the lives of many Obsidian's. However...

"I want you to take over my previous position."

K70 blinked.

"It's a lot of work." X8b explained, "You have to manage a lot of Obsidians, take care of Homeworld inspections where the other Top Tiers and I can't. I know it's a lot to ask, but you're the only Obsidian I trust to handle to job."

The other Obsidian stared at her for a moment in silence.

"I'm...flattered." She started, "but I have some concerns-"

"The Obsidians I worked with wouldn't do well in my position. They don't have the experience of teaching new Obsidians like you do." X8b interrupted, "I trust you more than I trust them."

"Well..." K70 paused, frowning, "Won't they think I just got in because I know you?"

"You think you can't prove yourself?" X8b raised an eyebrow, "The most they can do is raise a formal complaint, which will go back to me."

"Right well-"

"And if they give you any trouble, you can always take it up with me."

"X8b..." K70 groaned, rubbing her temple.

"I'm just looking out for you." X8b replied coolly, "It's good to know gems in our occupation."

"..." K70 shook her head, but she was smiling, "Well, I'm honored. I will graciously take the job. Even if it does mean I'll get swamped with even more work."

X8b glanced down at the center of the pool. The pearls had stopped singing now and many gems were giving their approval. It was such a beautiful song....

"How are the newest Obsidians doing?"

K70 shook her head, "Not good. There were only three from the latest batch who could see their own aura. I have no idea what the issue is. I asked a Peridot but they couldn't give me specifics."

"Homeworld is running out of materials is what's happening." X8b murmurer darkly.

"Is that true?"

"Unfortunately." She sighed, "we're losing gems at the same rate we're making them. There are more defects as well. I don't know how long we're going to last before expansion slows to a halt."

"That's awfully positive."

"I'm being realistic." X8b stood up, "I think I'm done here. You may stay as long as you wish and contact me when you officially move in."

"Will do." The other Obsidian crossed her arms in front of her chest in salute, "Thank you, my illustrious X."

X8b almost rolled her eyes as she walked to the exit.

[fabulanova-ffxv]

Even When It Hurts [Nyx x Reader]

This idea sprung up when @toreishi​ and I were talking about the scars on Nyx’s glorious chest (I would plant my face and die on that chest) 

Of course I couldn’t miss an opportunity to write about, so here it is! Also because I wanted an excuse to write this man shirtless XD

SHIP: Nyx/Reader

WORD COUNT: 4145

❝See me fall down. Let me die here slowly…❞

Steel-blue eyes slowly opened as the glaive roused awake from his slumber. He blinked and rubbed his lids, allowing his sight to familiarize to the morning light he hadn’t been accustomed to seeing for so long. Usually he’d be greeted by a dark room the moment he awoke. Being a soldier to the crown meant early hours, and it was part of a lifestyle to wake up way before the sun made its first break over the horizon. The dark cold mornings were the dull and a dreadful reminders of the agonising work hours Nyx would have to endure. But this time, with the morning light softly filtering through the sheer curtains, the glaive felt at ease.

His eyes flickered to the alarm clock placed on the bedside table. 9 o’clock it read. The sight brought a beam to Nyx’s lips. Though still an early hour, to the glaive waking up at this time was a rare occasion. A sigh of pure content sounded as he lowered himself back down on the soft plush mattress, surrounded by the warmth of the blankets. But that wasn’t the only thing keeping him warm. You lay asleep beside him, your head resting upon his shoulder while his arm wrapped around your form.

He brought his lips to place a kiss upon your hair. “I love you..” he said softly, a familiar sweet scent entered his nose, causing him to smile.

Stirring, you opened your eyes to see Nyx gazing down at you. “Good morning, sleepy head.” you murmured.

A low chuckled sounded past Nyx’s lips. “Me? I think the sleepy head here is you.”

You too let a laugh back. “Well to be truthful, I woke up before you. And plus,” you snuggled further into his hold. “it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to wake up with you.”

Those words were indeed true. Nyx had forgotten the last time he was given the chance to see you in the morning, In his line of work, a simple concept of waking up to a beloved was still hard to come by for this glaive.

“Is that my shirt you’re wearing?” Nyx asked, taking note of the familiar t-shirt you were currently dressed in. It was an obvious fact that it too big for you. The old shirt appeared more like a dress on your figure as the loose garment fell just at your thighs. But even so, such sight was still attractive to the glaive.

“Maybe.” you hummed. “You left it when you came over a while ago. Why? Do you want it back?” you asked, gazing up at your lover with a smile.

Nyx smirked. “No, I think it looks better on you.” he said, planting a kiss on your temple.

“Good. Cause I wasn’t planning on giving it back anyway.” you smirked in return. “It’s too comfortable.”

Nyx grinned. “For you, I’ll give you anything.” he replied, and captured your lips in his for a sweet morning kiss.

However, sweet soon took a passionate turn when the glaive rolled on top of you. His weight pinned you down, but you paid no mind, the kiss was already enough to leave you breathless. Fingers knotting in his hair, the intimacy deepened, gifting Nyx a blissful hum from you when you kissed back. A kiss, such a usual thing the two of you shared. Yet, the gesture spoke of all the emotions you felt for each other; the love, the longing, and the sorrow inflicted when torn away from each other’s company.

Separation.

Nyx warned you of that. You knew the consequences and risks of loving a man of duty, but the endearment you felt for this soldier was far too deep for you to escape. And it was this affection you had that convinced Nyx to give this budding love a chance. But even so, it was all too painful. With every new mission came a surge of merciless dread to overcome you and Nyx. Even the shortest missions—usually consisting of a day—was enough to trigger the unbearable fear of not being able to see each other again. How you two still held on was a miracle. But the moments of anguish would diminished the second Nyx stepped through the door. No words were needed to express what had to be said. Just being able to embrace other again, and kiss those words of yearning upon each other’s lips was more than enough.

I miss you. The arms would speak.

I love you. The lips would trace upon skin.

Never let me go. Breathless words would pray.

Such which happened the night before.

“Don’t leave me…” you mumbled again his lips. “Please…”

“[Name]….” The glaive pulled back from your lips. The look you wore was no longer with endearment, but instead dressed in dread. It was a look he was all too familiar with, a look that you’d give him whenever he left beyond the wall. “I’m not going anywhere.” He spoke the words he’d always say before his good-byes. But his voice sounded with evident hesitance as if he knew they were nothing but lies.

“But how can you be so sure?” you questioned back.

Nyx’s eyes widened in shock. “[Name]—” However his response was only stolen with another kiss.

It wasn’t gentle like before. No, your lips felt desperate, almost as if you were pleading, praying for him to stay as they captured hastily against his. Breaths melded in shallow gasps as you parted, only to have you and your lover stare deep into each other once again. The glaive’s heart ached upon witnessing the pain manifesting in your face. It was because of him were you forced to feel such suffering. Cupping your face in his hands, Nyx drew your lips back to his with yearning and desire.

I’ll never leave you his lips seemed to whisper in promise. Even if it was a promise hard to keep, he wanted nothing more than to help you ease your worries.

A soft moan sounded from your throat as you melted into the moment. Your hands began to wander, down from his hair to his jawline, fingers tracing the lines of the tattoo on his neck, until they reached past his shoulders. When you neared his chest, it was then did you feel Nyx suddenly freeze—as if he was in pain. Pulling away, your view wandered to the scars on his chest. You always noticed them, but you never dared to speak of them. With your fingertips you lightly traced the rough skin, following their path as they branched from his shoulder to his chest like crawling vines. You could still feel Nyx flinch even under your soft touch.  

“Nyx.” you spoke, lifting your gaze from the scars which marred his skin to his very own. “Tell me about them.”

Nyx froze. It was clear what you were referring to. “There’s nothing to tell you.” He leaned over to kiss you once more, to advert your attention away from his scars. However with your hands upon his chest, you gently pushed him off you. You could feel a soft rhythm under your palm, the beating of a shallow melody—a song that only belonged to a broken man.

“Tell me.” you said again. Sitting up from where you lay you stared back up at him.

The look in your eyes spoke with such sincerity as they bored into his—and it hurt. You had shown so much to him, a world behind the walls of war and destruction and the feeling of being wanted. But here he was still hiding in the shadows of his demons, behind those walls where he lay his life like a meaningless sacrifice—such was the purpose of the king’s blade. He tried his best to imprison the glaive that hardened his soul, to keep it apart from the things that made him the happiest. But he could only keep them at bay for so long. The torment still gnawed at him as they sunk their teeth deep within his heart. God, he wished he could tell you how much it damaged him, he wished he had the strength to show you the reality that was slowly killing him inside. Though at the same time, he feared what would transpire if he did. You swore to stay by his side no matter the consequences, but how true were your words? Nyx knew better than to doubt, but trust was a rare thing in his new purpose.

“I….”His brows furrowed as he averted his gaze away, the sight of you only weighed upon his soul. “I can’t…” He didn’t deserve you, god he didn’t.

“Nyx.” his name parted from your lips, like another prayer he wished to hear once more. Leaning close, your hands you cupped his face and brought his forehead to press against yours. His shallow breaths ghosting against your lips. “For me, please.” He said he’d give you anything, and this was everything you wanted.

You could never gather the courage to ask about the stories of his battles, nor has he ever shared them. But the scars, they had their own stories to tell. The rigid and jagged lines carved upon his skin; fresh and old, told the tales of this courageous soldier, the red painted fields and the tragedies of his comrades—new friends and old—slaughtered before his very eyes. It hurt him to tell, and you knew that well. But even so, no longer could you bear another night when he would come home to you, only to have his terrified orbs—scarred with the horrors he was shackled to witness—to meet yours.

Like always, Nyx found comfort in your touch. Inhaling sharply, he placed his hands on top of yours and brought them down to his lap, lacing his fingers with yours. “It was just another missions, another battle beyond the walls.” he began.

The glaive remembered it vividly. It was just like every other day in the cramped confinements of those dark rickety vans, being transported—like cattle to a slaughterhouse—to the barren wastelands where the glaives would lay their lives on a silver platter like an offering to the Gods, all for heart and home. With no time to second guess, the endless hours of relentless fighting would commence—staining their hands with the blood of not only their enemies, but comrades too.

“We won that battle, like we always did. We sent the Nifs running with their tails between their legs…” Such was a common victory, but a scornful chuckle sounded from the glaive despite the words of his triumph. It tasted sweet against his tongue, but it wasn’t long until that victory tasted of poison. He could feel a sudden hard tug within, like the unravelling of a stitch on a forgotten wound. The smells of the battlefield, the stench of rotting flesh, and the suffocation of smoke and dust entering his lungs, it was all coming back to him.

“What happened?”

Nyx snapped back to see you staring back at him in wait for him to continue. However he swallowed thickly, unable to find that will to continue his tale. “I’m sorry, [Name]….I can't—”

“You can.” You cut him off. “You can tell me, and I’ll still be listening ” your voice sounded firm, though there was still a hint of gentleness within. With your hands in his, you gave them a tight squeeze, a gesture of reassurance to show him that you were indeed speaking the truth.

Nyx lowered his gaze, the manifests of hesitance were seeping from inside. But how long are you willing to listen? He wanted to say. They all left when they heard of the horrors, of the man he had become. And yet….  “I almost died that day…” he whispered.

Death. Like a shadowing phantom, it was always there, always following until the moment it would mercilessly snatch even the most innocent lives in it’s ghostly grasp—erasing them from existence. The thought of him ever dying was an agonising pill to swallow. But it was a fact that it was impossible to avoid in Nyx’s life as a glaive—it was for the greater good, as they would put it. But even so, it was a reality hard to accept.

“How?”

Nyx bit down on his lip. The tugging of stitches on this forgotten wound were becoming more brutal at each passing second, as he reached into his subconscious to rip those repressed memories of long ago. “Those MTs…those killing machines, they got me.”

And the glaive told you. He told you the memory which devoured the man he was born to be.

The gunshots cracked like thunder, forged with the power of the storm as the bullets of the Magitek sliced mercilessly through the air. Nyx maneuverered over the terrain, trying to gain ground between himself and the weapons of the empire. His heavy boots skidded across the dirt and rubble as he raced just in time to take shelter behind a crumbling concrete wall, to hear a few bullets pelt against the ruin instead of his head. He inhaled a heavy and sharp breath, only to breathe in smoke and dust instead of the sweet air his lungs pleaded for. The sweat on his temple trickled down the side of his face, mixing with the dirt and blood, stinging the fresh cuts—such was the fruits of his labor. The echoes of the relentless firing of nuzzles haunted his hearing. Still Nyx willed himself to ignore the deafening sound. Gripping his kukris tightly in his gloved grip he carefully peeked from behind the concrete wall, eyes trying to map his route. He had to move to the next point quickly, but how? From all directions he could see the many firearms pointed at all directions. He could disarm them quickly, but it’ll be near impossible to do so without getting blasted—the triggers were always prepared to shoot.

Suddenly, a red beam of which only belonged to a laser began to point at the glaive’s head. Eyes widening, Nyx quickly ducked back behind the wall, just in time as the bullet hit the spot right where he had been seconds ago. Gritting his teeth, the glaive silently cursed.

Shit!

Quickly, he turned directions. With his back pressed against the wall he followed its length and snuck his head out from behind to scope another route. Thankfully he was shielded from the sniper’s point of view. Nevertheless Nyx knew his time was running thin. The MTs were due to encroach on his position anytime soon. The very last thing he wanted was to be trapped…or so he thought.

“Did…did you make it out?” Your grip on his hands tightened as they had been doing so ever since he started.

Nyx didn’t reply. But the moment he turned his head away with the tightening of his lip, it was enough to give you the answer.

Barely

A warp was all he needed to escape the situation he was in. However as simple as it sounded, the task itself was not. Taking one last glance at the war-zone he was hiding from, he landed on his target—higher ground was what he needed. Twirling the kukri in his hand, Nyx threw his blade with a swift swing of his arm. It punctured into the wall as he intended and soon his body followed suit in a cloud of shattering crystal and smoke. Reappearing in a flash of light, he held onto the hilt of his kukri and dug the soles of his heavy boots into the structure in order to keep his balance. Steel-blue eyes analysed the battlefield before him. From up above he would see his fellow glaives fighting their own battles. The cries of war and the screams of death still managed to enter his ears even at a height closer to heaven. However his time of minimal ‘peace’ came to an end when a sound of cracking and crumbling added to the noises of his surroundings. Furrowing his brows, Nyx glanced up to see cracks forming upon the stone of where his kukri had punctured.  His eyes widened, however upon realisation it was already too late.

Time had slowed for moment. Yet his body was continuously dropping at a speed which constricted his throat till he could hardly draw breath. His fingers reached out as if to grab anything to stop him from plummeting to the ground, but he clutched on nothing but thin air—even his kukri seemed to be out of reach.  He knew the pain was coming, but the wait felt eternal while his body jerked and flailed as he fell. Then he landed. However he didn’t scream. Instead he groaned in agony, followed by a hiss as he withered from the impact. Wincing, Nyx pulled himself up, pain rippled up his legs and shot through his arm. Bones shifted followed by cracks. They were definitely broken. Limping, he leaned against the closest wall trying his best to support his bodyweight. His gasps of pain sounded like sweet music to the devil.

“Nyx!”  a voice sounded through his earpiece. “Nyx we need backup!”  It was Libertus, frantic as always.

“I’m a little busy here.” The said glaive hissed back through gritted teeth. The pain consuming his limbs was excruciating. But broken bones were not an excuse to stop fighting.  Excuses were non-existent the moment he joined the Kingsglaive. “I’ll….” he swallowed the pain. “I’ll be there soon—Argh!”

His words were replaced with a strangled scream as a paralysing sensation began to spread from the centre of his chest to the rest of his body. Nyx didn’t need to look back to know what had happened. He had let his guard down for a short moment, but it was enough time for the arm of magitek soldier to lunge and spear their arm through his back. His breath had left him, neither could he move. The electricity from the hearts of the machine coursed through his body, freezing his every nerve as it took control of his being. Like a puppet on a string, he began to twitch and jerk violently. The tingling sensation wasn’t like that of a simple zap running through his skin. It felt hot, almost searing as it burned its way through his flesh. And soon, the fires of the battlefield weren’t the only smells that entered his nose.

This was it. He was done for…at last.

“But you made it out alive.” you remarked. “You’re still here. You didn’t die.”

A response of silence.

“Nyx?” You said his name again.

Again, Nyx didn’t say a word. Instead, you felt his hands grow limp against yours, no longer holding back with the warmth you adored. And it was at that moment did you see the life leave his steel-blue eyes, even if he wasn’t dead.

“If only I did…”

The tranquility Nyx felt despite the moment of torment was engraved so vividly into his memory. He remembered hearing the tolling bells from the afterlife in the distance, beckoning for his return. He could still feel the embrace of death holding him, caressing his skin like the gentle touch of a mother to a babe. It was the most peaceful he had felt, and Nyx wished nothing more than to feel it again.

 “I thought…I thought I could see them again…” he murmured. “Mother…Selena…” Agony seeped in his words, and it hurt to hear them. 

“Every time I enter that battlefield, I pray that this time would be it, that my suffering will finally come to an end.” But reality was cruel, and the gods never accepted him into their haven, even if he was clinging onto his last threads of mortality.

Your heart stopped from hearing those words escape his lips. “Nyx, don’t say that…” you said. “Your life is worth so much more than you thin—”

“It’s not [Name]!”

You flinched from the sudden yell of his voice. Rage simmered in his gaze, but you could see past it. Deep within you could see another man—lonely and scared.

“It’s not….” Nyx lowered his head. “I’m not who you think I am.” his voice was cold, distant and sounded like one of defeat.

“Why do you say that?” you asked.

“I’m tired [Name]” Nyx muttered. “I’m tired of running, I’m tired of being chased by these demons, I’m tired of having my life shredded like a dead animal.” The rage in his eyes depleted into one of despair—a look of one lost of hope. “I just want it to stop. I just want to lay my head down and rest for once in my life. But I can’t [Name]!”

“But you have to try!” you tried to reason. “You can’t give up this easily Nyx, you’re stronger than this!”

“What’s the point?” Nyx refuted. “What’s the point of trying anymore! All I ever do is come back with the same thoughts of these battles, and I wake up to only find out that nothing in my life has changed. Don't you get it [Name]? I'm still living a god damn lie! I’m alive, but what am I alive for?”

“There’s people who still need you Nyx. You can’t just throw your life away.” you reached your hand out to take his, but the glaive immediately pulled away.

“No one needs me [Name]. Mother and Selena are dead. I have no home or anyone to return to.” Breathing out a trembling breath, Nyx brought his hands to his face, burying his anguish. “I…I want to die.”

You softened your gaze. This side to him wasn’t a side he’d shown you before; it was a side he hadn’t shown anyone. For as long as you’d known him, Nyx was the soldier you’d met that night at Malbo’s Smul Hut. The hero of the Kingsglaive who tried to impress you with his tales of bravery, and the man who took you home and made you his woman, and soon his lover. You remembered him looking so confident and courageous in his uniform; like the hero they dubbed him to be. But when that uniform came off, you would see the damage that lay in it’s wake. Behind the blades and magic, Nyx was just a man, weak and terrified. A man, forged into a weapon by the hands of its king to be thrown into the battlefield to find peace. And a man who would wake up every morning with nothing but the company of his scars—a reminder of the days his life would flash before his eyes. The wounds of his battles would heal, but the haunting memories burned upon his conscious were the ones of eternal.

“Why are you so eager to die?”

“Because it’s the only way I can go home…”

Without saying anymore, you reach out and wrapped your arms around Nyx, pressing your cheek against his neck as you pulled him close. You had embraced him many times before, however the body you held in your arms felt different—it felt frail. You could feel the suffering, his anguish seeping through his skin. Maybe a simple hug wasn’t enough to ease the demons feasting on his sanity, but you hoped it was enough for him to know that you were still here, that you were the someone he could return to.

“You are home, Nyx…”

Words of silence was all you could hear from this broken soldier. But soon his arms wrapped around your waist, drawing you tightly towards him. Your touch was what he needed in these moments of darkness—and it was what made him come back to you. He thought you were just another fling, another woman to impress. But it was this feeling of serenity and solace you provided that night which made him come back for more. Your arms were his safe haven–a piece of heaven Nyx thought he’d never reach. And in this moment, it was in these very arms did the glaive within perish. His sobs were silent, but the violent shuddering of his shoulders were enough.

“And I’ll always be here for you to come back to…”

Your words were that of promise that day. Now you stood under the sunrise of a ruined city where smoke mixed amongst the hues of orange and pinks. Such a beautiful sight, yet still grievous in nature. The place of your birth, your home now lay in waste. Yet, here you remained waiting. He told you it was a simple escort and that’ll he’ll be back soon. You believed him like always, and even now you still did. No matter how long it took, you knew he would return to you soon.

But for now, he was home.

[themjinterviews-blog]

43. ...'cause it was Bobbi with an 'i'...he isn't just one of the guys; in his pink party dress, you would never guess, he benches 335!

Have you ever wished you could start life over?: Because being an infant sounds like a jolly good time? No thanks.

…or at least go back in time?: Yeahhhh – about that…I’m not fucking with different timelines and all the intricate time-travel etiquette.

When did you last eat pizza?: Tonight actually.

Do you prefer to hear the painful truth or a beautiful lie?: Not sure it makes a difference. In the end, it only matters how I see or perceive it to be. No definite way to known for certain whether people are being honest or not. You either chose to believe they are, or not.

How many exes do you have?: “Official” exes? 4, I think?

Have you ever known a pathological or habitual liar?: Absolutely.

Do you enjoy writing?: Love it.

If so, do you prefer writing lyrics, poetry, stories or something else?: Essays, free verse poetry, quotes, quirky self-help journals, lists, song parodies, etc…

Are you angry right now?: Mildly irritated. I keep hitting typos and I am just angry to have to keep correcting stupid shit.

Have you ever punched a wall?: Don’t think so.

Have you ever lived in a motel/hotel?: Yeah for like half a year.

Do you think you would enjoy running your own business?: Hell fucking no. I have very poor follow through and virtually zero concept of or desire to properly manage finances.

What’s the average rent for a 1 bedroom apartment in your area?: I’m gonna guess like 650-800$

Do you think rentals are too expensive where you live?: We are renting from friends. Doesn’t count.

Have you ever changed a car’s alternator?: Absolutely no idea what the fuck an alternator is.

Do you have Netflix?: The couple we live with does, but personally, no I don’t.

What about Hulu Plus?: Brandon does.

Do you have an Xbox Live gold membership?: Used to.

Would you rather master Guitar Hero or a real guitar?: I don’t necessarily want to *master* either. Neither are really a skill I could myself pursuing to any proficient degree.

Have you ever used an electric drill?: Back when I helped with drama club sets in high school.

Do you know anyone who’s had brain surgery?: Not that I’m aware of.

Do you like playing FPS (First Person Shooter) video games?: I got somewhat into CoD BlackOps.

Have you ever heard of, the band, Porcupine Tree?: Errr, no.

Would you rather wear boots or sandals?: Boots!

Have you ever rescued a lost dog?: B. sorta found our dog now that way. He escaped a neighborhood yard at a friends place and the lady was trying to get rid of him because her son was throwing out some hard-core Of Mice and Men vibes.

Have you ever adopted a dog from a shelter?: Yeah – my Deandra. R.I.P.

Have you ever cleaned a cat litter box?: Yeah.

Have you ever used a machete?: I own one…never had an occasion in which I needed to use it though.

What’s the last gift you gave to someone?: A weird drink coozie thing.

What’s the last gift you received?: A gift card to Carrabba’s.

When was the last time you rode a bicycle?: Last summer when I lived at the motel I think?

Do 2 wrongs ever make a right?: Right and wrong are up for interpretation.

Are you a vengeful person at all?: No. Vengeance to me is going on with life unscathed by and unfixed upon the malicious actions of other people. Seeking vengeance literally just gives them the satisfaction of knowing they got under your skin. Which was btw, exactly what they were hoping to do.

Do you have a good memory or do you forget things often?: Hit or miss. Going to lean more towards forget things, though. I tend to live in my own little world and if I don’t use the information frequently, it quickly becomes irrelevant and eventually forgotten.

Do you know anyone who suffers from chronic fatigue?: Probably.

Have you ever felt like you “lost yourself”?: I think for the first 29-30 years of my life, I didn’t even have a self to lose.

Do you judge people based on their weight?: No, what would that accomplish?

Do you know anyone who’s hardworking but still struggles to make ends meet?: I feel like I qualify; I work my ass off but have 0 priorities or sense of financial self-discipline.

What do you think is more harmful? Cigarettes or Marijuana?: Ummm, cigarettes are widely-accepted and scientifically determined to be absolutely more harmful than weed. Regardless, I smoke both.

Is your air conditioner on?: Either that or the fan. Not sure what the friends who own the house have it set on.

Is your heater on?: The fucks wrong with you. It’s May in Southern Arizona.

Do you enjoy going on walks?: Explicitly the manageably short, non-strenuous variety.

Do you like having picnics?: They're okay. Eating inside is fine, too.

Have you ever had a panic/anxiety attack?: Yessum.

Have you ever dated a co-worker?: “Dated” isn’t exactly the word I’d go with. But I’ve done the work-mance scene. Almost always culminates to awkwardness.

Do you still buy CDs or do you just download music?:Still buy CDs. The car we just bought was old enough to still have a CD player in it.

Do you like iPod/song shuffle surveys?: Not really.

Do you suffer from social anxiety?: Not really anymore. I mean, once I realized it was all in my head, it sort of depleted the level of social anxiety noticeably.

Are you more introverted or extroverted : Introverted. But I know how to appear extroverted in situations like talking to my tables at work.

Do you enjoy organizing things?: There is no consistency when it comes to what kinda shit I like to organize, nor how frequently I do it.

Have you ever watched “Mystery Science Theater 3000”?: I have not

Do you know anyone who plays Tuba?: Random. Nope.

If you had to get a tattoo of someone’s name, who’s name would you choose?: Like maybe a pet or a family member. Or my own name.

Have you ever been to Catalina Island?: No idea where that even is.

Would you rather swim with dolphins or sharks?: Yo, what sick fucker voluntarily chooses the sharks? Is that even a serious inquiry?

Do you know how to change a vacuum belt?: You buy a new vacuum or you simply never vacuum again.

Have you ever given a business a bad online review?: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

Do you know anyone who used to be a stripper (that you know of)?: Yeah, one of the bartenders I knew from the dive bar.

Do you know anyone who’s a hoarder?: I know people with tendencies, but not full-blown hoarder-ness.

Do you know who Maynard James Keenan is?: Ummmm, no…sorry.

Do you take responsibility for your actions or tend to make excuses?: I’ve gotten better at understanding what taking responsibility for myself actually means.

Have you ever used the shower at a gym?: . Yeah.

Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship: Trapped is an understatement.

Do you believe that “love is blind”?: I believe love is almost always something else in disguise…and that it all generally relates back to the image we want to create and embody. I swear I’m not being cynical, I'm just saying “Love” will always be too subjective and misinterpreted to come to any finite opinion about it.

What’s the furthest distance you’ve ridden a bicycle?. Like 7 miles? Could be more or less. I’m a terrible judge of time and distance.

Do you rate every survey you fill out, here on bzoink?: Don’t know what Bzoink is.

Do you know anyone who gets way too angry when playing video games?: Not currently.

Do YOU get too angry when playing video games?: It’s been awhile, but I usually don’t get raging mad – I was likely never expecting to do all that well in the first place.

Do you like to sing karaoke?: I’d rather sing along to the radio/iTunes. I need to hear the artist singing in order to match pitch and sound half decent.

Do you know what micro-expressions are?:. Not remotely.

If so, do you have a talent for seeing/reading them?: Assumingly not.

Have you ever had insomnia?: Medically, no. I don’t think it counts if you just do a lot of uppers and electively decide not to sleep.

What’s the longest amount of time you’ve been awake?: Like, 6 days. It gets trippy. I am in no way suggesting anyone try it.

Have you ever been in denial?: Lol it’d be obvious denial to deny being in denial.

Have you ever been in The Nile?: Sure. King Tut and I go Lazy-River-Drunk-Tubing together.

Have you recently used a nail file?: I honestly don’t think I’ve ever used one.

Do you know anyone named Kyle?: Yeah. This kid I went to HS with. We talked for a bit like a year ago and got Margaritas once.

Is it annoying that I started rhyming my questions?: Nope. You do you, bro!

[kashmiresims]

Radio Edit

First Post | Previous Post | Next Post

Cypress Leaned back into his chair and grinned. He had created the perfect playlist. A good mix of local artists and indie bands that all sounded superb and when ordered together would be a listening experience to remember. He'd basically vetted every song before determining to add it to the playlist. His shift at the SSU radio station was already underway and the third song in the queue was playing—one with an excellent balance of guitar-to-drum ratio and growing in popularity among the listeners.

Finding songs, and researching music was much more appealing than actual coursework He'd probably spent more time in the last two days finding and ordering songs for his radio gig than actual studying. He was lucky the station director let him pick his own music to play.

It seemed he had his whole life to prepare for this. He and Orion had always spent hours combing through the Orion's father's old record collection they had found in the attic when they were kids. They played each one, carefully listening to the music and discussing it afterward over the years. His brain must have cataloged at least 200 albums and all their songs.  

He wasn't the type of radio DJ to do a lot of talking. It annoyed him when radio stations played too many ads or had inane talking heads fill up the air space. The reason he listened to the radio was for the music and so tried to limit the amount of time his voice was on the air.

However, sometimes the lack of speaking caused issue too. If he let a series of songs play without announcing to the listeners what they were, he'd end up getting a few calls to the station of people asking what had just played. He was also required to remind listeners which radio station they were listening to at least once per hour.

The song was ending, so he rolled his chair over to the soundboard to fade the music out, turned on the microphone and said, "That was The Perishers singing 'Sway' here on KRLM, 86.5 the Llama—Kashmire's source for college and alternative rock. Next up is Abra Moore with 'Big Sky'."

Cypress raised the volume of the music system and turned off his microphone.

He heard a knock on the door to the studio and gave a slight jump. His shift was in the evening, so no others were usually in the building at that time except for the barista on the first floor that worked the building's small coffee stop. During the day the director was usually in the office across the hall, and mass communications lectures were held on the first floor.                                            

Cypress, pulled his headphones off and leaned back in his chair, "Come in."

To his slight surprise, Orion was the one who appeared from behind the door. He had thought Orion was hanging out with Cain again, but obviously, he wasn’t by his sudden appearance.

"Hey, do you take requests?" Orion asked with a smile and shouldered open the door.

"Well yeah, but I put together a really good playlist tonight....so you're favorite songs are probably already on there," Cypress grinned and motioned Orion into the studio. It wasn't like the director was there to complain about non-station employees hanging around. Orion had dropped by a few times before as well, so it wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

"Oh yeah? Let's see it," Orion said and leaned over the computer to see what was in the queue. He scanned the list of songs set to play over the next two hours and then focused back to Cypress, "You really did cover everything."

Orion usually listened to Cypress’s radio shows and offered song suggestions after each. It looked like there were none this time around. Cypress nodded and took a moment to stand as he'd been sitting for awhile.

"What are you doing here, man? I thought you were hanging with Cain tonight?"

Orion leaned against the door and crossed his arms, "He had other things he needed to take care of."

Cypress knew Orion was vastly disappointed, evident by his fading grin. Cain Nova was the flakiest fuck in the world. He folded his arms and frowned.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that," Orion mumbled.

"Why?" Cypress knotted his brows.

"I know you don't like him," Orion mumbled.

"Can’t you see why?" Cypress couldn't help but to raise his voice, "He has no respect or consideration for your time or feelings, he's horrible at communicating, and because of that, your anxiety goes into overdrive. You seem miserable even when he finally shows up after leaving with no explanation for weeks."

Orion looked at the ground, "You usually don't like talking about him, so I never get to tell you about the good things he does."

Cypress bit his tongue and looked at the ceiling. He was supremely frustrated. He doubted there were many good things about Cain Nova from his experience around the guy.

"Whatever, man. It's your life. I'm not going to tell you who you should and shouldn't be with but I think Cain is a raging jackass and that you could do a lot better."

Abra Moore's song was about to end, but the system would auto-play the next song.

Orion looked struck though didn't say anything more on the subject. Cypress just couldn't understand how Orion felt about Cain—Cypress had never been attracted to anyone before in such a way. Now that Cypress had come out and admitted his dislike, Orion didn't know how to reconcile that his best friend and romantic interest were never going to get along and if he hadn't taken a Tranquilicis that day, he knew he would have felt anxious about it.

He glanced over to the small recording studio on the other side of the glass windows and saw a guitar.

"Do you mind if I play you a song I've been writing?"

"Not at all," Cypress was thankful they had changed subjects, "Just go out into the hall and the door to the recording studio should be unlocked."

Orion’s grin returned and he left the room to do so.

Cypress had to turn on the connecting microphone so he could hear what Orion would sing, but made sure that the playlist still was what was currently airing.

Orion adjusted the microphone, then picked up the studio guitar and took a seat on the tall chair and then strummed the strings. He adjusted the knobs to tune at least two.

"Can you hear me?" He asked, and his voice was clear through to the tech studio where Cypress sat.

Cypress nodded, giving him a thumbs up.

Orion began to play. Orion knew how to handle just about every instrument he came across—his family boasted a legacy of musicians, some had even had extraordinary success. Cypress knew that if Orion didn't have such bad anxiety he could probably find the same amount on the account of being so damn talented.

His song was a pleasant acoustic tune. Orion was a decent singer but his talents lay in writing the musical portions. In fact, he’d always been better at expressing himself through music than regular words. He'd written countless drum solos for Cypress to try over the years and Cypress loved playing them.

Cypress had been concentrating so hard on how the music sounded that he had forgotten to pay attention to the lyrics Orion was signing.

"I wish you would let me love you but it doesn't seem to be..."

Was...was this something he wrote because of Cain?

Cypress was momentarily shocked and then restrained himself from rolling his eyes. How could anyone love Cain? Orion deserved such better treatment, someone who would at the very least would own up to being his boyfriend. But Orion felt strong and deeply for people, it was something he always did. He got attached and it was hard for him to let go.  

"...you know how I love you yet your heart is closed to me"

He sat for a few more seconds playing the guitar and Cypress only felt a mix of anger and sadness on behalf of Orion. The song had heart, though. It seemed his talent was best used in the midst of suffering. In Cypress's opinion, it shouldn't be hidden.

"I never knew what love was until I met you. So thank you for helping me discover what I felt was true.”

The current song playing over the radio waves had just ended and Cypress switched on the live button that re-directed the airtime to pick up the music studio’s microphone.

Orion sang a bit more, the song had multiple verses and a chorus, followed by a bridge and a repeat of the chorus. Once Orion finished up his tune,  Cypress quickly flipped the live switch back to the playlist.

"How did you like it?" Orion asked, seeming eager to know.

"It has some solid harmony," Cypress pushed the talk button which let his voice be heard in the music studio. He wasn’t going to make any more comments about Cain and how Cain didn’t deserve a song written about him.

"Dude! I heard Orion on the radio and it gave me an idea!" The door to the tech studio flung open and Cypress swiveled around in utmost surprise. Nick stood there seeming out of breath like he had run all the way to the station from the house. To be fair it was only three blocks away and Nick played soccer all throughout high school so he was a fast runner.

Orion couldn't hear anything since he was in the other room and the button wasn't pushed. He waved at Nick through the window and set down the guitar.

Cypress was still stricken by Nick's sudden, loud entrance and had trouble finding his voice. A moment later the door opened again and Orion popped in. It was such a good thing that the station director was not in during the evening shift to chide Cypress for all the outsiders hanging around.

"Hey Nick, what's up?" Orion asked.

"What if we start the band up again?"

They had been in a band for a few years during high school called 'Incarcerated Heart'. Mostly, it was Orion and Cypress's way of being creative and furthering their interest in music. For Nick, the band was a way he envisioned to pick up girls. They didn't have time to play anymore after entering college because Nick's free time had been wrapped up in the Greek Society.

But now that he had left it and his fraternity, his free time consisted of moving into his new room upstairs or job hunting so he could start helping pay for rent to be able to live in that new room. He’d officially stopped being a house hobo. 

"We could make some good simoleons playing around Scandalica City," Nick added in lieu of the stunned silence from his friends.

Cypress and Orion exchanged a look. Playing again sounded great, but Cypress knew his best friend wasn't the best live performer.

"That sounds awesome," Orion smiled, "We should do it. I've been writing new music."

"Yeah I know," Nick laughed.

Orion gave him a confused look but before he could ask how Nick had known, Cypress cut in, "What about your anxiety? The last time we played you choked mid-song."

Orion waved it off nonchalantly, "Don't worry about it. I got it covered and am good to go."

Nick smiled wider and proclaimed that was awesome but Cypress was a little more concerned at the glib response. Nick started chattering about some venues he could see about booking with and Orion was nodding enthusiastically. Nick woke up the computer on the other desk to get some contact information pulled up from his emails.  

The phone line started ringing and Cypress sighed, knowing it had been awhile since he had given any indication of what was playing on air.

"Hi, what was that song playing a few minutes ago with the guitar?" The person calling asked.

Cypress turned and interrupted Orion and Nick's planning, "Hey dude, what is the name of that song you were singing?"

"Uh...didn't give it a name yet," Orion looked over to him curiously and seemed to blush a bit.

"It's called, 'In love with a Raging Jackass'," Cypress answered and then hung up.  

Orion's eyes widened in horror, "You put me on live air when I was singing?”

"It was a good song—so I aired it."

Orion looked betrayed but before either of them could get into it, they were startled by Nick's sudden, uncharacteristic cursing that rang through the tiny room.

They looked at him and he was standing, hunched over the computer with an angry look of disbelief.

"What's wrong?" Orion asked.

Nick stood straight and then a step backward from the computer.

He knew something was going to happen, that his father was going to make him miserable for his insolence, just not this.

"He's revoked all tuition he paid for the semester," Nick answered still with an air of anger.

The university office of financial records informed him that if he didn't come up with the money by the next week, he would have to leave Sim State.

Getting the band back together wouldn't be enough to fund tuition and rent at this rate.Maybe it was about time to put that machine in Armscor Warehouse to good use.

[the-anti-internet]

#trypod

Hey, haven't been around in awhile. I've been "busy" over at @petesmediadiary logging (once a week, usually Sundays) all the media I consume (plugtime over). But in honor of #trypod, a campaign to make people aware of podcasts, here comes a list of all of the podcasts that I listen to with a brief description of what the podcast is about: 12 Hour Day with J.D. and Connor -- Each episode is at least 12 hours long where the hosts hang out for a day. You follow them as they hang out, and do things around New York City. (Comes out a couple of times a year) Comedy Bang Bang -- Scott Aukerman hosts where each episode he has on a comedian and other odd people come in after a brief interview segment Mike and Tom Eat Snacks -- Each episode Michael Ian Black and Tom Cavanagh Pick a snack, Eat a snack, and Rate a snack. (Currently on extended hiatus, but worth listening to the back catalogue) The Indoor Kids -- Kumail Nanjiani and his wife Emily V Gordon talk about video games and other stuff they are watching. (Also currently on hiatus, but might be coming back soon?) Womp It Up! -- Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham spun off their characters Marissa Wompler and Charlotte Listler from Comedy Bang Bang where Marissa has a senior project podcast from her schools library where they interview the schools faculty and other students. (Hopefully it will be back after Playing House season 3) Spontaneanation with Paul F Tompkins -- PFT has a chat with a celebrity guest and then he and some improvisors do a 30 minute long improv based on that conversation. Harmontown -- Dan Harmon has a mental breakdown on stage, and raps about having sex with your momma. The K Ohle with Kurt Braunohler -- No longer active, but it was a multi-format podcast that Kurt hosted. Pet-o-philia and Get Lost were the two best formats. Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People -- Chris Gethard takes a call from a random person and is not allowed to hang up for an hour. At the hour mark the call is ended. Surprisingly heartfelt and wonderful. My love of Gethard aside, this is a GREAT podcast. Hollywood Handbook -- Sean Clements and Hayes Davenport are two of Hollywood's elite and drop names on this red carpet we call showbiz. This is some of the hardest I have ever laughed. It does take some getting used to though. You will hate it for the first few episodes. Emotional Hangs -- Kurt Braunohler and Joe Derosa explore their friendship and break down adult friendships and try to be open and vulnerable with each other. Rose Buddies -- Griffin McElroy and his wife Rachel recap episodes of The Bachelor family of TV shows. (I have never watched an episode of The Bachelor Family of shows) You Made It Weird w/ Pete Holmes -- Pete talks about Comedy, Sex, and God with pretty much anyone (usually comedians) who will talk to him about it. (Harris Wittels #3 is one of the best episodes of a podcast I have ever heard. It's an episode where Harris is open and honest about his struggles with addiction, and he is so effortlessly funny about it too. Spoilers: While the episode ends hopeful and on a way that makes everything seem like Harris is going to turn it around, he died from an overdose less than a month after the episode was released) Who Charted? -- Howard Kremer and Kyla's Vilaysack count down the charts in Music and Movies every week. Pistol Shrimps Radio -- Matt Gourley and Mark McConville don't know anything about basketball, but that doesn't stop them from doing the play by play of a women's recreational basketball league in LA. The Worst Idea of All Time -- Guy Montgomery and Tim Batt watch and review the same movie once a week for an entire year. Year one: Grown Ups 2. Year 2: Sex and the City 2. Year 3: We Are Your Friends (currently still going) Doughboys -- Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger review a different chain restaurant every week. My Favorite Murder -- every episode Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff each talk about a murder and go through the story of it. The Dollop -- Dave Anthony tells an American history story to his friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be. The Adventure Zone -- The McElroy brothers and daddy play dungeons and dragons together. It's some of the best storytelling you will ever hear and it's consistently incredibly funny. Never Not Funny -- Jimmy Pardo hosts a relaxed chat with a celebrity guest. Doug Loves Movies -- Doug Benson plays movie games with comedians and funny people. Totally Beverages (and Sometimes Hot Sauce) -- Andy Rosen and Intern Josh do blind shootouts of beverages trying to figure out which is which and guess their favorites. (I "produced" episode 100, so selfishly I would suggest that episode) CoolGames Inc. -- Griffin McElroy and Nick Robinson create a new video game every week. With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus -- Every week Lauren is the guest on a different host's made up podcast. How Did This Get Made? -- Paul Scheer, Jason Mantzoukas, and June Diane Raphael talk about a different (usually) bad movie. No Such Thing As A Fish -- Writers of British panel show QI talk about their four favourite facts of the week that they learned while researching for QI. Ding-Donger with Matt Braunger -- Matt Braunger hitchhikes into your life for 30 to 45 minutes each week as he tells you what's been going on with him. Thanks for picking him up! The Bugle -- Andy Zaltzman and a rotating group of co-hosts talk about what's been going on in the world over the past week. (Formerly co-hosted by John Oliver) Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction -- Comedians write erotic fan fiction about pop culture and read it in front of a live audience. Slumber Party with Alie and Georgia -- Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark have a guest over and they play slumber party games. What Say You? -- Sal and Q from Impractical Jokers talk about whatever is on their minds. Cardboard! With Rich Sommer -- Rich Sommer (Harry Crane from Mad Men) talks about board games. Black List Table Reads -- Franklin Leonard produces "ear movies" each episode is a table read of an unproduced screenplay. Hound Tall with Moshe Kasher -- Moshe has an expert on a topic as well as three other comedians on stage to talk about the experts subject in a town hall style meeting. Post Pink -- Justin Linville and Robby (who's last name I've forgotten) talk about Weezer's releases since Pinkerton. U Talkin' U2 To Me? -- Scott Aukerman and Adam Scott talk about everything U2 related in the dumbest way possible. Tell Us How Your Dog Died -- David Kramer and David Stoll talk to a guest about how their dog died. Legitimately one of the best earwormiest theme songs ever. Even though there hasn't been an episode (and probably won't be any more) I still find myself singing the theme song to myself fairly often. 'Till Death Do Us Blart -- The McElroy brothers and the guys from The Worst Idea of All Time Review Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 every thanksgiving for the rest of eternity. In the event of one of their deaths they are to bequeath their spot to someone else who will take the mantle. FizzyBoys -- Don Finelli and Chris Gethard review a different soda every episode. The Ones Who Knock -- A podcast that recaps every episode of Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul Decoding Westworld -- From the people who brought you The Ones Who Knock talk about Westworld. Analyze Phish -- Harris Wittels (rip) tries to convince Scott Aukerman that Phish is a good band. Andy Daly Podcast Pilot Project -- Andy Daly's many characters from Comedy Bang Bang each try to get their own podcast at earwolf. Each episode is the first episode of what their podcast would be. New Years Eve with Neil Hamburger -- Listen to Neil count down the new year! In Your Dreams with Chris Gethard -- Chris and Dream Analysis Expert Gary Richardson analyze the dreams of people who called in with a different guest each episode. End of podcasts that I'm subscribed to. Now onto podcasts that I am either working through their back catalogs, or listen to depending on the episode: My Brother, My Brother, and Me -- An advice show for the modern era, the McElroy brothers give their listeners (and Yahoo answers users) advice. Started listening in June, currently on episode 114 out of 346. Hard Nation -- A spoof on Right Wing Political talk shows. Brothers Mark and Pete Hard host a show with a different political guest (a comedian pretending to be a political figure) Dr. Gameshow -- Jo Firestone hosts a radio call in show where listeners submit their ideas for game shows and Jo has comedians play the games in studio. No longer active and the back catalog is disappearing. So get on this one quick if you want to listen. Jordan, Jesse, Go! -- Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorn talk with a different guest. (Guest dependent) Hopefully We Don't Break Up -- Couple Will Miles and Giulia Rozzi talk with other real life couples (usually at least one comedian) about their relationships. High and Mighty -- Jon Gabrus talks with a guest about something that they are both passionate about. (Guest and/or topic dependent) If I Were You -- Jake and Amir give advice to their listeners. (Guest dependent, but the Ben Schwartz, Jon Gabrus, Thomas Middleditch, And Rose McIver episodes are all must listens) The Adventures of Danny and Mike -- Danny Tamberelli and Mike Maronna (better known as Pete and Pete) go on a monthly adventure together. I Was There Too -- Matt Gourley talks to an actor with a small-ish role on a big movie. Alison Rosen Is Your New Best Friend -- Alison Rosen talks to a person of note. (Guest dependent) This Feels Terrible -- Erin McGathy talks to people about relationships and why they make people feel terrible. Fitzdog Radio -- Greg Fitzsimmons interviews (usually) another comedian. (Guest dependent) 100 Words or Less -- Interviews with musicians. (Guest dependent) Going Off Track -- Interviews with musicians. (Guest dependent) The Best Show with Tom Scharpling -- Tom Scharpling's long running radio talk show. I don't have enough time in my week to listen to this every week, but whenever I can squeeze it n it's always worth it. The JV Club -- Janet Varney interviews People about what they were like in their formative years and then plays M.A.S.H. with them. (Guest dependent) Put Your Hands Together -- The audio recording of the weekly standup show hosted by Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher. The Todd Glass Show -- Todd Glass has a guest and it's just non-stop bits. There we go. There are all of the podcasts that I listen to regularly (or at least check in with regularly). There should be something in there for everyone. You're a champion for reading all the way through this, and if you try one of these and like it, please let me know. I would be happy to talk about any of them.