#I’m hardly sleeping

[hontour]

soooo uncomfy 😖

[howlsofbloodhounds]

{ @qin-qin16, @averageimp. The post I was talking about. }

Had a random thought while scrolling through the arcane tag but the way some caitvi shippers hate on Maddie for “getting in the way of caitvi” instead of also hating Caitlyn (both cait and Maddie, but I feel there’s a lot better reasons to dislike Maddie outside of “ruining” a relationship that was hardly even a relationship like Cait wasn’t equally as willing and responsible—such as ya know, being an indoctrinated seemingly sadistic spy helping a military force invade and conquer another nation) for—

not only choosing to sleep with and share her bed with another woman while the one who she supposedly “loves” is being beaten in a pit for money and drinking herself half to death,

But also using her power and authority and money and position to oppress and abuse the people of Zaun instead of helping them or even using all those resources to look for Vi and apologize or some shit,

Also abusing her power over Maddie. Maddie introduced herself to Vi as a “junior officer.”

Caitlyn is a Commander/Sheriff. She is Maddie’s commander. She is Maddie’s superior. Now I don’t know if the Enforcers would be considered more like the police force or the military, maybe both, but I think this could be considered Fraternization and an abuse of her power.

Now we all know that it turns out Maddie is a Noxus spy and her superior is actually Ambessa, but Caitlyn doesn’t know this. She believes she has power, authority, and rank over Maddie. She believes Maddie is her subordinate.

Caitlyn abuses her power and authority in more ways than one, and if Maddie weren’t a Noxus spy and Ambessa wasn’t buddy buddy with Caitlyn, Caitlyn could’ve very well ruined Maddie’s life and career if she so chose to do so on a whim,

Not to mention: Maddie’s whole spy gig wouldn’t have worked at all if Caitlyn weren’t so eager to abuse her authority and sleep with her subordinates.

Between Maddie and Vi, maybe Cait has a thing for women who are of less power and privilege than her—or at least women she views that way. Or maybe she just truly is that blind and ignorant of the power and privilege she has, or perhaps she just doesn’t care.

Regardless, it’s a little strange. Caitlyn is a full grown woman who has enough power to declare martial law and a warlord of another nation and her forces behind her. Maddie is a junior officer, who Cait does not know is actually a spy.

She is perfectly okay with the knowledge of this, and felt it was perfectly okay to allow a relationship with someone below her in rank and status and authority.

This sets up an inherent power dynamic where, in a more realistic world or if the writers had acknowledged this/Maddie hadn’t been a spy, she very well could’ve been at a risk of being fired or discharged from her job if she ever decided she didn’t want to sleep with her Boss anymore; even if the reason is as simple as Cait doesn’t want to take the risk of Maddie telling anyone and getting her in trouble.

Or, considering the fact that Cait had the power to declare martial law and is basically a dictator, could potentially have Maddie executed and claim it was for reasons such as “treason” or “being a traitor,” regardless of if it’s actually true or not in this scenario. Because Cait has so much power that her word is basically law, especially when compared to Maddie’s.

All in all, Maddie only “got in the way of caitvi” because Cait allowed her to and actively refused to use her massive manpower and resources to go look for Vi and make things up with her for months on end—instead wasting that time oppressing the lower class, hunting down and obsessing over Jinx, training with Ambessa, and using her subordinate’s body for her own gain while also acting cold and dismissive towards her once she got what she wanted for the day.

[raystarkitty]

After years of waiting and planning, this week marks the beginning of mine and @the-64th-gamer’s life adventure together!!!!!!!! Soon we will be in the house like carpet 💛🌈💖

[zorosdimples]

thinking about the first kiss with your fave…

the air is heavy—oppressive, even—with tension. you’re facing one another, curled up uncomfortably on a too-small couch, a movie on the tv that you stopped paying attention to as soon as it started.

you’re talking about something meaningless, yet you can’t stop the laughter that bubbles past your lips and warms his flesh. but when the chatter stops, you gaze at one another. there’s a thrill that skitters down your spine; you can’t describe how happy simply being with him makes you feel. but you want more. am i being greedy? you wonder. perhaps you are.

but he’s greedy, too.

the moment is suspended in time: he’s so close you can see every faint freckle dotting his face, see the sweeping fan of his eyelashes, see the laughter lines that crease near his mouth. and now, you’re looking at his lips; you lick yours in anticipation. your gaze flits back up to his, and he takes a breath before whispering, “can i—”

you nod before he can even get the words out, and you worry for a moment that you come across as overly eager—until he smiles something beautiful. he presses his thumb and forefinger to your chin, your lips finally brushing against his for the first time.

it’s soft and gentle—maybe the slightest bit hesitant (you’re both thrumming with excitement). it’s a prelude; not nearly enough to whet your appetite. but it’s a promise of something more. something great, you’re sure.

[gluedonpapers]

Ribbons and Stars

He shined for her and she tied him together

For when she was down and he was falling apart

He loves the stars because it reminds him of her

And she loves the ribbon because he gave it to her

“Return my ribbon” she chided, chasing him

“You have my stars, therefore I shall have your bow” he replied, running

For their love burns as fiery as her bow and as bright as his stars

—gluedonpapers

[etoilebleu]

Is it two weeks from now yet

[pollenallergie]

realistically, i think older!tom is the type of man to smoke immediately post-sex and then just conk out. like there’s no round two. there’s very minimal romantic pillow talk. he fucks, he gets high, and then he goes to sleep.

of course, you’re included in this! transplanting you into his routines (even the strangest among them) is his love language. so he’s passing you the joint and letting you take puffs of it, he’s chatting shit with you about whatever his odd little himbo brain (said with love) thinks of, and he’s cuddling up to you as he drifts off to sleep.

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

being told you don’t deserve kindness or empathy because you won’t fuck someone is so ridiculous you’d think it wouldn’t hurt to hear, but it does. it really fucking does.

[giddlygoat]

eight hours | the stanley parable fic 

[ 2527 words • fluff, could be seen as ship or platonic • oneshot; may be continued ] 

stanley’s tired. he just wants to get a good night’s sleep. the narrator eventually obliges, even if he doesn’t fully understand stanley’s desire to lay unconscious for eight hours. 

…

“stanley, what in the world are you doing?” 

usually, the narrator could wait patiently for stanley to leave his office before beginning their new run. he would use this short period as a sort of mental refresher, preparing himself for the adventure ahead and taking a moment of quiet to himself. stanley always left eventually, often in moments, but something was holding them up. he had seemingly crawled under his desk with his back to the corner in a curled up position that could only be so comfortable. 

“are you feeling unwell? you’ve been laying there for nearly half an hour now.” the narrator recognized the similarities between stanley’s display and general human tendencies regarding sleep, although he had not seen him asleep very often at all. he knew for a fact that stanley didn’t even require sleep. 

stanley only shifted slightly, adjusting the arm folded under his head. he made no effort to explain himself, or address the narrator at all, for that matter. 

“well, as long as you’ve not contracted some sort of deadly virus or something, i suppose i can’t stop you from sleeping my precious time away.” 

stanley’s face crinkled up just slightly, just for a second. the narrator felt a small zip of amusement through him. “yes, i suppose i should leave you to it. not like we have anything better to be doing right now… like exploring the surprise i made for you.” 

stanley did not perk up as the narrator had expected. that was strange; he was certain telling people that there’s a surprise to look forward to was supposed to be a sure way of getting their attention. 

“i said,” the narrator cleared his throat for emphasis. “you’ll miss your special surprise.” 

stanley burrowed his head deeper in his arms, as if that could block out the disembodied voice. 

the narrator sighed in exasperation. “come on, stanley, work with me here. is the mystery not enticing enough for you? what about i drop hints, or we play a game of hot and cold?” 

stanley did not move. at this point, the narrator knew very well that stanley would not be able to ignore him enough to fall asleep, and he deduced that his protagonist was simply ‘playing dead’ in the hopes that the narrator would get bored and flit off as if he had better things to be doing. 

the narrator almost chuckled at the notion. he would not break that easily. 

“look, stanley - i will be straight with you. i’m not going to stop pestering you until you leave that office. i really do have a surprise for you, something new - i really think you’ll love it! but you’re going to have to move in order to actually enjoy it.” a small prick of anxiety made itself known within the narrator. even when stanley didn’t cooperate, he would always move eventually. there had never been a time that the narrator was unable to motivate stanley to move eventually, either by persuasion, reverse psychology, or brute force annoyance. 

yes, he was sure of it. stanley had never stopped moving for more than an hour or so, and even on this rare occasion, it was with some purpose or goal in mind. something in the narrator’s subconscious urged him to reassure this thought thoroughly. 

stanley sighed, sluggishly rolling his head so that an eye emerged from his pillow of arms. he blinked slowly at nothing. 

“erm… please?” it felt awfully silly to say, and the narrator decided right then that he didn’t particularly enjoy it. 

however, it seemed to convince stanley. he sighed, crawled out from under his desk and stretched out, using his chair for balance. 

“yes! i promise you will not-“ 

[i want to sleep.] stanley signed. he had an air of determination about him. though, the narrator wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen him without that hard-headed aura. 

“sleep? why on earth would you desire to exercise the most boring of human functions?” 

stanley paused for a moment to consider whether or not this even counted as ‘earth’ before deciding that topic was a can of worms he wasn’t ready to open. he also decided that pointing out that sleep could actually be fun and fascinating among a dozen other pleasant side effects probably wouldn’t be useful, considering who he was talking to. 

so instead, he signed [i’m tired.]

the narrator scoffed. “no, you’re not. that’s physically impossible; i didn’t even code natural fatigue into you to begin with.” 

stanley grimaced. he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, especially not with the newfound bitter taste in his mouth. 

“if you’re just bored of the content so far, then i just offered you a solution. the surprise, remember?” 

stanley ground his teeth slowly, weighing his options. the narrator was not understanding him. this was a kind of bone deep, all-consuming exhaustion that had been due for a long, long time. his body didn’t have to ache for his mind to feel like a wet paper bag stuck to a parking lot. he was simply at his limit. 

but, he also didn’t have a lot of options. 

[if i come with you, will you let me sleep afterwards?] stanley was unsure of how to explain himself. despite the justification for anger in his situation, he felt nervous more than anything. he was desperate - he’d take what he could get. 

“sure, you can take a nap after you see the surprise.” 

stanley pinched the bridge of his nose. [no. i mean a deep sleep.] 

there was a very loud, very brief moment of silence. “…for how long?” 

stanley almost laughed. if he hadn’t already been dealing with this crap for so long, he might not have believed that he was bargaining the number of hours he got to sleep with some ignorant prick in the ceiling. 

[a night’s sleep. like eight hours.]

the narrator whistled, and stanley swore he heard the gentle shift of a rolling chair on the floor. “eight hours? that’s quite a lot, stanley. i’m not sure if i can swing that.” 

stanley made no effort to hide the obvious irritation on his face. [yes you can. you’ve swung harder for much less.] 

“well, what am i supposed to do for eight hours? i don’t exactly have a surplus of protagonists laying around at my disposable. i assure you, if i did, i would have given up on you ages ago.” 

[thanks.] stanley rolled his eyes. 

“gratitude is not the appropriate response here, stanley. that was a dig at your insufferable nature and reckless attitude.” 

stanley might have signed something in response if his hands weren’t busy holding his head. he drug them down his face, groaning in frustration. [please, let’s just get this over with.] 

“wonderful!” the narrator clapped. “right this way, stanley.” a familiar yellow arrow appeared on the floor before stanley, snaking through a newly opened door. the smile in his voice was back. stanley wished he had something to smile about too. 

“you won’t regret this. i made this just for you, you know.” the narrator continued to hype up the surprise stanley tried not to get his hopes up about. knowing the narrator, it was probably something underwhelming and useless, like another mostly infinite hole or a new closet. 

stanley followed the adventure line in no hurry. he allowed himself to fantasize about something beautiful and gratifying. the narrator occasionally rattled on about all the effort that went into this spectacular mystery gift, and how brilliant it was, and how ecstatic stanley would be upon seeing it. 

stanley imagined a stretching, open field surrounded by a horizon of trees and distant green hills. wind tickled his ears and sunshine kissed his face as he walked in the direction of his choice. no limits, no rules, no voice. 

the sluggish pace he progressed at did not escape the narrator’s notice. it either meant he was simply savoring every delicious moment of suspense or he wasn’t excited about his surprise, and something inclined the narrator to believe it was the latter. 

yes, upon closer inspection, stanley didn’t look happy at all. it then struck the narrator quite suddenly that stanley’s claims of tiredness from earlier were starkly evident on his features. he really did look exhausted. 

the narrator contemplated his surprise. perhaps the new closet he had cooked up would not please stanley as he had previously hoped. he knew stanley loved closets - there was no doubt about it, but he just didn’t seem to be in a closet exploring kind of mood. 

well, they were only paces from their destination now. the narrator had to act fast. 

“erm, hold on, stanley.” 

before stanley rose a brick wall, haphazardly slapped in last second. stanley took a step back, scratching his head. 

“let’s see… hold on, i just have to make a few minor adjustments. i realized my design wasn’t quite perfect and i really should present you with only the best.” the narrator hummed absentmindedly as he hastily constructed a new room in the closet’s place, digging through assets and arranging everything just so. 

stanley yawned slowly, unaffected. 

“right… there we go! sorry about that, right this way.” the narrator lowered the brick wall once more, and stanley followed the adventure line down to the end of a forgettable hallway. the door at the end was a deep green. stanley had to admit, the new splash of color was easy on the eyes. 

“well, what are you waiting for? go on,” the narrator urged stanley inside, anxious to see his reaction. stanley sighed, mentally preparing himself for disappointment. he twisted the knob and stepped inside. 

“oh, isn’t it just beautiful?” the narrator said dreamily. 

stanley had to pick his jaw off the floor. it… really was beautiful. he found himself in an expansive greenhouse surrounded by big leafy plants and frosted glass panes on every side. the floor was laid with swirling patterns in red brick and white stones. 

what caught stanley’s eye the most, however, was the enormous bed in the center of the greenhouse. a circular sheer curtain shrouded the bed in a hazy green. stanley was moving towards it before he could think.

“look, i’ve thought about what you said, and i think perhaps… i haven’t been the most accommodating. let me make it up to you.” the sheer curtain rolled back before stanley’s eyes, and he realized the comforter was fashioned to look like a lush moss carpet. he reached out and pet the fluffy surface, unable to believe what he was seeing. it felt marvelous. 

“you can have eight hours in here. oh, and i almost forgot-“ stanley only realized it had been silent when suddenly the sound of rain on the roof swelled around him. he looked at the foggy windows to see the color of the sky had darkened to a pleasant dusty purple. 

“there we go! perfect sleeping conditions. now, wasn’t that surprise worth it?” the narrator waited for stanley to move. he just stayed there frozen, his hand in the shaggy fluff of the comforter. 

“…stanley?” this was unusual. something about the situation inspired a prick of anxiety within the narrator. 

but sure enough, stanley’s taut shoulders softened, his hand retracting from the blanket. he looked around the greenhouse slowly, letting his eyes snag on every little detail among the abundant plant life.

had the narrator really created all of this just for him? just for this occasion? stanley gulped, inhaling deeply. the air felt richer and damper. his eyes stung. 

he didn’t bother signing. he unbuckled his belt, pushing off his slacks, and unbuttoned his shirt enough to pull it over his head and throw it unceremoniously to the floor. then he dove under the covers, eagerly wrapping himself up in the heavenly softness of the comforter. 

the narrator sputtered quietly at the sudden display, clearing his throat. he supposed that was a yes. “well, i suppose i should leave you to it, now.” he said rather awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. 

stanley’s eyes washed over the ceiling, watching the rain patter and roll on the glass above him. he finally worked up the determination to pull his arms out from under the covers once more in order to sign. [what are you going to do?] he asked out of curiosity more than anything. 

the narrator hadn’t expected stanley to say anything after all. to be perfectly honest, he didn’t have a clue. and in the vein of honestly, he didn’t particularly want to leave. he had just put this place together; it would only make sense to stay and admire it. just a bit longer. 

[are you there?] stanley signed after a moment. the narrator realized he had not responded. “ah, yes, of course. uhm… i was actually just contemplating that. i think i rather like this place, and i’m not particularly anxious to leave yet - if that’s quite alright with you.” 

a small smile grew on stanley’s face. the narrator studied it closely. [it’s very nice. thank you.] as if to prove his point, stanley gathered up the bunched up comforter in his arms and snuggled beneath it. the narrator studied this closely as well. stanley looked so… content. he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about that. 

“you’re very welcome, stanley.” he smiled despite himself. maybe stanley would finally understand that the narrator had his best interest in mind after this. yes, surely he would take a lesson from this.

somehow, watching stanley burrow into the cozy cocoon of his blanket made the narrator feel inclined to keep those sentiments to himself for now. 

several moments passed by, and stanley’s eyes had closed, the rise and fall of his chest slowing. the narrator had to admit, the sound of the rain was quite relaxing. he knew if stanley wasn’t asleep by now it was only a matter of time, and then it would be eight hours of nothing. 

perhaps the narrator would leave at some point to work on new areas or flesh out his story. but until then, he found that he wasn’t bored. quite the opposite, really. watching stanley sleep was fascinating. seeing him at peace was a rare thing. 

maybe the narrator had been too harsh on him. what good is a protagonist who’s sick of his own story? the narrator toyed with the idea of allowing stanley to visit this place regularly. it could be good for morale, and give the narrator ample time to perfect his new ideas. yes, he would certainly consider it. 

until then, stanley was fast asleep, and the narrator suddenly had no one to talk to. he’d never understood the appeal of sleep, as it just eats up valuable time, but seeing stanley in this state inspired curiosity in the narrator. it looked cozy. he found himself wondering what that might feel like. 

these thoughts would zip through the narrator’s mind as he flitted around his maps, making improvements to his plots here and there. eight hours would pass slowly and quietly, and the narrator found that his pondering kept the inherit bore of it all at bay. 

[mifflebat]

hi guys i am tired

[skull-kids-mask]

What do you do when your best friend every other week wants to kill himself??? He’s angry and violent and lashing out, Disappears, drives off and makes you and his fiancée go out looking for him. Every time. wtf do I do? It’s sooooo much more complicated but I don’t know what to do. I miss my best friend. All I do is get txts from him and my stomach turns, I dred it now. How bad of a friend do I gotta be to dread my best friends texts. Even the ones that are like hey wana go get food, I just know when I get txts like that there’s an alternative motive. Am I supposed to drop everything?? It’s years of this now. I beg him to get help and he says he will, he has all the assets to get help but he never does, I can’t force him to do anything.

I’m going to wake up one day and he’s gona be gone. Dead. I can’t fix this and I feel like a bad friend cause I can’t make it better.

[notamean-greenbean]

ive got two exams this week and ive only been to half the lectures for both of those units and honestly if i pass either exam thats just a testament to how easy this fucking school is

[soloavengers]

syl for ox rights!

[mcskullykins]

I’m terrified of being firedddddd my double ear infection isn’t getting better it’s been a week now and it’s only gotten worse hhhhh

[intraosseous]

no lie i kind of just want to give up on everything rn

[imperpetuallylost]

LEA

LOU