#I’m gonna need 2-3 years to recover and process all of this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ghostbeam · 10 months ago

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i want to know about the ozspike lore 💢💢💢‼️‼️‼️

I would die for all of u pls know this I’m gonna use this as like the general lore so pls bear with me I’m insane

SO spikeoz has a very long and complicated history lots of coming together and not seeing each other for a while and coming together again and also we are the song steamroller by Phoebe Bridgers okay thank u🫡

What u first must know about us is that Spike meets me before he meets any of the other members of the bebop (which strei asked how we met so I’m gonna go into that in a different ask ajsjsjsjsj) but this is kind of the reason our dynamic is the way it is because I meet him at a very big transition period in his life and he meets me when I am at a standstill

Another thing about Spike is that he is in love with Julia which is kind of why we are the slowest of burns she is a big thing for him and also something I don’t want to push aside and I also won’t let him push aside either. I want him to be completely moved on and not dwelling on his past when we finally get together which causes a lot of frustration for Spike.

I won’t go into the whole process of me joining the bebop in this ask but I basically get injured and Spike brings me back so that Jet can look at me and I end up having to recover on board which leads to me just moving in and no one really knows when it happened (much like the other members) but I’m there now and honestly I fucking love it I’ve never felt more at home ANYWHERE which is incredibly tragic if u know how bebop ends</3

So now I’m seeing Spike every day which is terrible for me (girl who has been in love with him since the moment I saw him and his stupid hair) but kind of great for him (guy who sort of can’t stop thinking of me and also needs to get over the woman who left him to run away by himself all those years ago) which yayyyy the dynamic is kind of not good™️ because why is spike thinking of me as some sort of rebound a little bit no!!! I will not have that!!!!

Spike has always been charming and flirty but he is sort of amping it up now that I live with him and I’ll be honest I am weak!!!!! The tension is too much our attraction is growing I can only resist for so long!!!! So obviously he finds me trying to find something to eat at 3am and sneaks up on me and makes me scream loud enough to wake everyone up except he covers my mouth and now I’m pressed against him and 😳😳😳 and spike is so cute in his pajamas and messy hair and he looks down at me like!!!!! Like he wants to eat me!!!!! And so we kiss in the middle of the night and then I run away and I don’t talk to him about it for like weeks and he keeps trying to get me alone but I won’t deal with it until Jet sends us off together to get info for a bounty and then we have to talk about it

And he is basically just like I want to be with u but I tell him we can’t until he lets go of Julia which honestly pisses him off because he really thinks he has but hasn’t and I know he’s not over her and he’s just like if u don’t want me u don’t have to make up an excuse just say it and like that kinda drives a wedge between us for a bit

But unfortunately I am right about him not being over her bc the events of Jupiter jazz parts 1 & 2 happen where Ed finds something w the code name “Julia” on her computer and Spike jumps up to chase after it immediately and so urgently that he doesn’t even think twice about it and when Jet and I follow him out to the hanger to argue w him about going and he and Jet get into that fight Jet storms off and Spike looks at me and he knows I was right about Julia but he doesn’t say anything and flies off and so the events of the episodes happen and Faye is found and everything and Spike isn’t any closer to finding Julia but the night he gets back he slips into my bed and is kind of just like pls just let me lay here with u and I’m a sucker so I obviously do

And we don’t talk about it but it starts a new habit of the two of us doing that staying the night in each others rooms and the lines of our relationship are more blurred than ever and honestly it scares the hell out of me which ends in me leaving the bebop and I’m on my own for a bit except spike has had Ed track me down for the months I’ve left so he knows exactly where I’ve been and I only return during the ep pierrot le fou bc Faye makes me come back bc spike goes after that dude alone and super injured and will probably die so I go w her to help and she’s one of the reasons I stay the second time bc Faye does not express any feeling of want or need towards anyone and she doesn’t really express it to me but she’s kind of just like this lunkhead keeps almost dying now that ur gone and ur the only one who can do my nails without getting polish all over the sides so I think u should move back

And so I do and god I can’t believe how long this is but U GUYS ASKED!!!!! So I come back and Spike kind of avoids me the first couple of weeks until he finally snaps and is just like this is fucking stupid I love u and u love me and that should be enough!!!! And at this point I cannot keep pushing me away because!!! He said he loves me!!! And he does!!!!! And so we do give it a shot and it’s really fucking good until. Until the real folk blues and he’s leaving to go end vicious and I’m like screaming at him trying to get him to stay and he’s kind of just like YOU said we weren’t gonna work until I let go of this but now he’s going somewhere that he most certainly will die and I’m selfish and I’m telling him that I don’t care about any of it anymore and he like cannot promise me he’ll come back for me even tho I’m begging him to because he knows he probably isn’t coming back alive and I’m defeated obviously cause he’s never gonna listen to me and so all I can do is hug him and tell him I’ll see him when he gets back🫶

#and does he come back??????? idk❤️I don’t fucking KNOW!!!!!#okay sorry this is so long like oh my god is she okay?? (no)#I’m just really obsessed w him and this show and I absolutely inserted myself in there #this is actually maybe one of the only selfships I have where I stick this closely to canon #bc I respect the story so much I can’t change things I CANT!!!!#okay thank u guys for asking I love u all so so much #ask #mutuals!#spikeoz

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binders-and-beanies · 5 months ago

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Vent about my job situation under the cut bc I have so much to say and don’t rly get to get it out anywhere 👎🏻

So for those who missed any of the context. I’m a graduate social work major interning at a therapy practice, it’s unpaid for college credit. It was going to be my first time being a one on one therapist.

My old therapist works at the same practice and I asked everyone involved during the hiring process if this would be ok and was repeatedly assured it was fine as long as I didn’t see her anymore. I haven’t seen her (or any therapist) since February when she FREAKING ghosted me.

I asked to reschedule one session and it was fine, I asked to reschedule a second one and never heard from her again. (Edit: it may be important context to point out I had been seeing her for a year and a half. So it’s not like this was my first few sessions) Which if you know basic 101 about therapy or social work you know that goes against whats drilled into our heads about ethical practice. If I as an intern did that it would be a big freaking deal.

Even if she would have said “hey I notice this is becoming a pattern so let’s talk about how we can better ensure you can make it to your sessions” I would have respected that. I understand you have to see a certain amount of clients per week but if she’s out here ghosting anyone who lets her know in advance they’ll miss two sessions, she’d be out of work.

Anyway. So I’ve already been feeling like I’m trying to heal from having her as a therapist bc I felt abandoned in a time of need. I was needing to reschedule sessions bc it was a very busy chaotic time where I needed support. And I didn’t get to find a new therapist bc this was right around when I became uninsured. But I’ve kinda been whatever about it bc it didn’t affect my life all that much, at least I’m saving money etc. Until it Did greatly affect my life bc she got a promotion that involved her supervising the interns more closely so I’m being let go.

Mind you this is not the first time I’ve lost a job abruptly in the past couple months for reasons beyond my control. So I’m reliving that feeling of having to process my life being yoinked out from under me and it doesn’t feel like it will be the last time. I feel like any job I have from now on I’ll be on edge waiting to suddenly be dismissed. On the one hand at least I have no income to lose this time but on the other hand goddamn I can’t even keep an unpaid position. For two weeks.

I am able to stay until the end of the semester or until I find smth else whatever comes first. And I’d like that to happen sooner rather than later bc 1) I’m tired of not knowing what comes next for me and I already went thru the whole wondering what my placement/life will look like in the next couple weeks thing 2) I’m gonna be feeling a lot of resentment on the job in the meantime and 3) as a client I wouldn’t want to start at a new therapist who has to leave in 3 months tops. Idk if I’ll even be assigned clients now, which is in some ways a relief but also damn I was kinda vibing with the Therapist identity and I didn’t even get to try it on with one client. I didn’t get to find out if this is for me.

I even pictured myself staying at this practice after graduation, I like the culture, it’s walkable from my partners house where I want to move in, it could have been a picture perfect picket fence future. But bc of my former therapist’s success I have to suddenly restructure my entire present and future life situation Again. I didn’t care that she ghosted me until now, now that she’s receiving praise from everyone and their mother while I worry about if I’m ever going to find a stable job and afford to live after college.

I truly feel like I’m going to come out of this traumatized. Therapy shouldn’t be something you have to recover from. I would have never gone to her if I’d known it would have such huge tangible consequences for my literal career but I had no way of knowing. I even thought in the back of my mind, 2+ years ago when I first reached out to her, “I hope this doesn’t end up narrowing down one less place I can work in the future.” And not even two weeks in that’s exactly what’s happening.

Now I’m afraid to go to therapy Anywhere (even if my insurance situation allowed me to choose one), for fear of having one less place to work. What if my next therapist also works at what would otherwise be my only option as a workplace. My only feasible option rn is counseling services on campus but what if That ends up somehow being the only place I’m able to intern now or work in the future!! + u get 5 sessions and I feel like I would need that in order to process even just this situation alone.

But wait there’s more. The former therapist in question also teaches graduate courses at my school bc of course she does. I’ve been able to avoid her in that sense too, aside from one time I had to switch my schedule around, it hasn’t affected what classes I can take. I haven’t seen her on campus ever, I haven’t even seen her at work once, I haven’t seen her Anywhere since our last session like 6 or 7 months ago.

Until she walks into my class tonight to get enthusiastically greeted by my professor and talk abt her job while class was supposed to start 10 minutes ago and I’m already anxiously waiting to bring up my internship situation to my field liaison. Who’s 3 feet from me hugging the person who’s costing me my job.

She also wasn’t able to acknowledge me for confidentiality reasons so it’s not like she could say hi or see if I’m doing ok. But she had the audacity to fucking wink at me. Even if she somehow doesn’t know I’m losing my job bc of her, she does know she abandoned me as a client. So that came off kinda cruel to me.

I sat there fuming and wanting to cry and just trying not to look at her until she finally left. Seeing her in this context was harder than I would have thought. And it’s ironic how me being let go is framed as being “for my protection” as a former client but in that moment I wanted protection from her. I wouldn’t have had to feel that way if I had a stable job.

I feel like I need therapy rn in order to process the harm that’s happening to me as a result of having gone to that therapist. But I don’t get to go to therapy and I don’t get to be a therapist either. I don’t get to know what kind of social work I’m going to be practicing in a couple weeks or months or however long it takes for me to be fucking assigned whatever I get whether I like it or not. For the third time.

And now I’m back to having zero inkling as to what I’m going to do to afford being alive when I graduate again in 7 months. Whereas if I had either seen a different therapist or if they could have chosen literally anyone else to be a clinical supervisor, this could have maybe been my perfect fit and set me on a path to a more peaceful future.

I’m so tired and I feel hopeless and I don’t even have the privilege of just being fucking sad for a minute, I have to just keep going. Keep going at this job while I search for another, keep doing homework and juggling my 700 other responsibilities as if I’m not struggling just to hold myself together rn.

I hate my old therapist rn, and idk if I’ll feel that way once I’m not in actual emergency mode (if I ever have that privilege), but the idea of a client feeling this way bc of me as a therapist is heartbreaking and I hope it feels that way for her too. I now have an example of what I Don’t want to be as a therapist, if I get to be one.

I hope for her other clients’ sake and for my coworkers’ sake that I was an outlier and that she knows how to competently and ethically practice therapy and supervision. But at the same time I hope she’s just a mediocre lucky person who had enough privilege to fall into a successful position. Bc if I’m the only person who’s had this kind of experience w her then what did I do to deserve that. I was an easy client. When does something get to be easy for me.

Anyway. I have supervision tomorrow and have to struggle to decide how to address this with everyone while the school sends my resume out to hospitals and food hubs and anything but therapy. I get to grieve my job while I’m still there and act cheery with everyone who gets to stay there and pretend I’m not furious at this whole situation. As my partner put it whilst I cried on their shoulder, I Don’t Deserve This

#mine #txt #personal #vent post

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

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Xiao: First Kiss HCs

I’m so sorry it took me actually forever to reply to you. But I really hope you like this and it was somewhat worth the wait;; I tried really hard but ty for liking my Xiao content and yes! Let’s be absolute trash for Xiao. In this house we only believe in Xiao supremacy 💕💕

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Semi Part 1: Friendship

Semi Part 2: Falling in Love

Semi Part 3: Cuddles

Semi Part 4: Protective

Semi Part 5: Affection

Semi Part 6: Jealously

Semi Part 8: Opposites Attract

Semi Part 9: String of Fate [Soulmate] HCs

Semi Part 10: [ Fainting ]

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Childe Ver: First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

Considering how many more Xiao fics I need to write. This semi part link might not be a good idea lol. Also let’s ignore if I wrote in a kiss in a previous post haha.

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover@youaskedfurret @snowy224

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Xiao: First Kiss HCs

When you and Xiao first got together. It was a slow and steady process of learning each other boundaries and what felt comfortable. Xiao knew he was a difficult partner but you loved him and even becoming his friend was a slow and worthwhile adventure. It started off small leading from small handholding, to cuddling, to showing each other affection. But the one area that you both weren’t familiar in was kisses. He was an isolated adepti and you were an adventurer. You didn’t have any experience in being kissed and Xiao sure as hell didn’t either. Plus it was a lot more intimate and nerve wracking compared to holding hands and that was an hard hill to tackle in itself.

You didn’t mind that he wasn’t comfortable with initiating affection or never went in or talked about kisses. You were just happy that he was by your side and that your love was reciprocated. That he was comfortable in your presence and seemed content in your arms. It still made you a bit giddy when you reflected on how far you both came and that was enough for you. Xiao, on the other hand, couldn’t exactly say the same. While he was happy and he was content, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe your relationship was too one-sided? He knew that you were comfortable and okay with waiting for him to work out his issues and figuring out how to love again but he also really wanted to do more. He just wasn’t sure how to start.

It suddenly dawned on him one day when he saw you off on your next journey, that he had never really kissed you. Even a small goodbye kiss. It was usually you initiating affection or giving words of love and you always told him that it didn’t matter if he said it or not. His actions said more which always made him flush a bit. But on slow and quiet days where you were off on another adventure and Liyue was calm, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to you. To your face, your bright eyes that would light up whenever you talked about the interesting sights you saw on your journey, the curve of your nose whenever he tapped it when you started to ramble on to much, your lips and how they would spread into a soft smile when it was just the two of you.

Xiao quickly flipped himself up into a sitting position and groaned into his hands. What was happening to him? He needed to take a walk to clear his mind again. He’s been going out a lot since he met you. He had faced an army of demons and fought in a war and yet this felt like the hardest challenge of his entire thousand year long life. He could almost hear Guizhong’s laughter at his predicament and her words of wisdom saying to take whatever problem he had and face it head on. Just without his spear. The spear needs to stay home.

So the next time you visited Wangshu Inn he asked for you to close your eyes. You complied but you were surprised, sitting by the railing facing Liyue up on the balcony. Was he going to gift you something? This was the first time he asked you to close your eyes but you trusted him. You could almost feel the anxiety waving off Xiao so you kept quiet and patient and waited for him to be ready.

He was ready. He could do this. You weren’t even looking at him so what was there to be worried about? He slowly leaned in, just hovering above your lips. But then he leaned back a bit, flushing red. He nearly chewed his lip before stopping since you probably didn’t want to taste blood. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready or he thought that you would hate it, he was just nervous in messing up. What if his accidently transformed? What if he accidently pushed you off the railing? Even worse, what if someone showed up and saw you both like this?

Turns out he didn’t need to worry. Somewhat. Zhongli, who Xiao knew now was actually Rex Lapis in disguise, made a sudden appearance behind him. The whiplash of suddenly seeing his Master, the nervous butterfly’s fluttering in his stomach, and pep talk Xiao was trying to pound into his mind made him suddenly lurch forward and kiss you deeply. A bit too deeply as his little fangs nipped at your bottom lip.

“Zhongli!?”

“Rex Lapis?!”

You both quickly broke apart as your eyes flew open when you heard the man but also surprise at the sudden but, not completely unpleasant, pain and pressure on your lips. You could almost see the soul leave Xiao’s body when he spun around to see the surprised Zhongli. It was silent for a moment, all three of you just staring at each other. You were still processing what the hell just happened, Xiao was trying to find a way to astral project, and Zhongli was computing the fact that yes, the ever grumpy and “don’t touch me” yaksha both had a lover and was in the middle of...courting.

“Oh. My apologies. I wasn’t aware you were both occupied. I shall take my leave and visit another day then.” Zhongli simply nodded and left before you or Xiao could say anything. You both stared at the empty figure of where Zhongli was before you started to burst into laughter at the situation. You really felt bad, you did honestly, but with all the overwhelming emotions you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m...sorry. I didn’t know he was going to visit today,” Xiao muttered as he pressed his hand into his face and groaned at the embarrassing moment. You could see the tips of his ears were getting redder by the second which made you chuckle. For such a fearsome Yaksha he was really cute sometimes.

“It’s okay Xiao. I don’t mind. But are you alright?” you stifled the last of your giggles and reached out to pull him closer and remove his hand from his red face before cupping his cheek. He huffed but leaned into your hand. He really was sometimes like a cat.

“Are you hurt? Was I...too forward?” Xiao asked but he still wouldn’t look you in the eye. The floor was very interesting this afternoon. Wood was nice. Wood was good.

“No! It was...nice,” you answered, starting to go a bit pink yourself now before you felt a stinging pain in the corner of your lip, “Ah. I think you might accidently bit my lip though.”

“I see,” Xiao was now looking at you with his piercing eyes as he watched your small pink tongue brush over the corner of your bottom lip. His attention began to focus on that small part as the world seem to narrow down. Just the two of you. But unlike when you both would lie on top of the inn and watch the sun go down he felt hungry.

“Do you-”

Before you could ask anything Xiao suddenly pounced and pressed his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He took you by surprise but you quickly recovered as you gripped the purple ribbon on his back and yanked him forward as his hands slammed against the railing, trapping you. You felt his tongue press against your lips as you slowly opened them to let him in. It was overwhelming and you were sure if you hadn’t been grabbing onto the purple ribbon you would have fell over but then a sudden deep rumble snapped you out of your trance.

“Xiao? Are you...Are you purring?” you giggled when you got a tiny but of separation from the lack of air but he frowned at you, really it looked more like a pout, before leaning over once again. Just barely brushing over your lips as he whispered

“Meow”

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This isn’t even OOC anymore. I feel like I’m writing a fucking k-drama right now, what am I doing anymore? English? Huh? I do not compute.

I’ve just awakened something in me with Cat! Xiao and I am flying with it (and casually ignoring lore. Isn’t he a bird?). Heading straight for the stratosphere and you cannot stop me. Just gonna hide away in shame now don’t look at me.

Okay. Time to commit sleep for uh 2 hours lol. I’m really tired but I feel kinda proud of myself haha. Tomorrow’s fics are going to be Venti, Lisa and Diluc pairing, and Venti and Barbara pairing. Good night!

Oh, and yes there is a lot more Xiao content to come and uhh might continue this cat!xiao idea. Unless that’s too weird. I’m sorry don’t shame me pls 😰

my god tumble just work. i dont want to deal with you and your tags.

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icyaslack · 3 years ago

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TUA S3 Spoilers

Ok so I need to externalise my feelings concerning season 3 on way or another. First, I really really liked this season, I think more than season 2. It was darker and more mature, with lighter (and sometimes silly) moments in between. And at last they got to properly curse! THANK YOU! let them say fuck we’re not in a soap ffs! It does have writting flaws and problems but all in all it’s really good and makes me want season 4 so bad! And I’ll need at least 2 rewatch to fully see the little details here and there. The rest under there cos it’s gonna be long.

Luther next. I was quite happy for him this season he got to experience real love and be loved and understood back. Sloane is good for him. The last episodes were especially brutal on him, being killed by his dad whom he literally just forgave is cruel and tragic. He also got nice interactions with most of his siblings too.

Klaus got to grow and see how truly powerful he can be (even if there’s big plotholes here). He’s got a really good arc and really nice and sweet interactions with each siblings, Ben and his mother. Same as Luther he didn’t deserve to be killed by Reginald after being so nice with him and trying so hard to see some good in him.

Vikto is way more bearable this season too. At least he’s trying now, I liked him a lot more. I hope he stays in this path.

Diego went through emotional levels he learnt to be more open and he will make a great dad! All his interactions with Lila were absolutely gold and I’m glad they’re so close by the end they’ll need each other.

I have so many feelings for Five and his arc. Firstly, I really didn’t like howwas handled his relation with Delores, like at all. It was awkward as best and not coherent with what we saw in the other seasons. They reduced his whole trauma and complicated mental paths to simple romance... I’m disapointed. But the whole him being the Founder of the Commission thing? I still haven’t properlly understand all the implications here but I know for sure it’s fucking tragic and mindblowing, but it’s interesting and I hope we’ll learn more, even if I really doubt we will. The whole scene where he meets his other self? It killed me, both Aidan Gallagher and Sean Sullivan are remarkable. They don’t have a lot of time, but the emotions man!! The’yre perfect and they both broke my heart. I know the writers will not give Five time to process all of it and if it does it’ll be just implied. Just like the fact he apparently talked to at least Diego about the barn?! And we didn’t get any of their reactions to that. A lot of explaining is done behind camera and I hate that. Another scene that killed me is when Five lost his arm, his dominant one on top of that! I think I blacked-out a little, I needed to rewind. It was brutal and nobody gave a fuck, I know they didn’t really had time to react but a comment would have been nice. He’s so strong and his pain tolerance! God! I don’t even dare think about what went through his mind then... I’m glad he had some happy time with his family though, but he clearly drank way more this season too. I frankly need to know his full speech at the wedding. He got absolutely sweet mometns with his siblings, the dances and the bachelor party, the roadtrip with Klaus... I do think it helped in his decision to not try to save the Universe, he was content. This whole process might seem quite random considering he tried for 45 years to save the world but it kinda made sense, I need to think more about it to form an opinion.Especially about the last episode.

Finally I can say I haven’t emotionally recovered and I have a lot of questions but in a good way.

#TUA spoilers #Five Hargreeves #Number Five #Allison Hargeeves #Luther Hargreeves #Klaus Hargreeves #Diego Hargreeves #Viktor Hargreeves #my favourite old man #file d'attente

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autisticandroids · 4 years ago

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yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

#spn #asks #anonymous

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bucky-hues · 3 years ago

Text

stucky fic recs

here are some stucky fic recs! as always, be sure to read the warnings for each fic <3

one shots

finding home | @thedamageofherdays

cap steve x modern bucky

After he is caught in a terrible rainstorm while hiking, Bucky is glad to find shelter at the cottage Steve shares with his daughter and his dog. Bucky ends up finding so much more than just a safe place to spend the night.

x | @dreadlockholiday

steve x bucky

Request: Bucky looking through a glossy magazine and saying something like "God, can you imagine being paid for just looking cute?" And without thought Steve replies, "you'd be a millionaire" and Bucky just blushes furiously while Steve's all like 😳 *oh no, I just said that out loud*

x | @dreadlockholiday (18+)

steve x bucky

Bucky finds his BFF Steve's sketchbook... and it's full of nothing but sketches of Bucky... naked.

sweethearts | @musette22

steve x bucky

Steve confesses his feelings to Bucky using sweethearts

my moon, my man | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

AU meet-cute. Strangers on a Train, but with less murder and more sexual tension.

make it till you fake it | AggressiveWhenStartled (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Ned,” Peter said, like a drowning man sighting land. “Ned. Captain America and the Winter Soldier are fake dating right now and it is the most painfully awkward and obvious thing I have ever seen, all of us want to die, Ned.”

things my heart used to know | Nightwing11 (AO3)

steve x bucky

In a world where soulmates can communicate telepathically with their partners, Steve Rogers has always had Bucky Barnes with him, a calming voice in a sea of turmoil. And, when Bucky falls off the train during World War II, Steve experiences deafening silence for the first time.

Now, after crashing a plane in the Arctic to save the world and being frozen for 70 years, Steve’s still trying to figure out how to live without Bucky there. His new friends are trying to help him adjust, to move on. And he thought he was doing better, he really did.

So, why is he suddenly hearing Bucky’s voice again?

catfish | @buckmebxrnes (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is a famous movie star, known for his role as Captain America. Bucky Barnes is a bored law student who drinks too much wine. Bucky gets on match.com to boost his confidence. What he doesn't expect is a guy using Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating profile. Bucky decides to mess with the guy. After all, what idiot uses Steve Rogers' pictures on a dating site?

Not like it's really him, right? Bucky may need more wine.

let's go have fun | @sebastanbucky

steve x bucky

“Nat wanted me to-” Nat clears her throat and he rolls his eyes. “I wanted to tell you something.” He looks at Steve with a look he hopes says ‘play along’. “Okay. What did you want to tell me?” Bucky has to take a deep breath to keep from laughing again, it helps with his performance as Nat nods encouragingly at him. “I’m gay.” He says, making his voice sound shaky and weak.

the way you came around | sokaless (AO3)

steve x bucky

After a while, Bucky says, “You know, this song sounds like it was written for you.” “That's funny,” Steve remarks. “I chose it because it reminded me of you.” Steve gives Bucky an iPod full of his favourite songs from the 21st century to help him deal with his nightmares. Bucky has a new mission- to find out who Steve is in love with, because there are a few too many unrequited love songs on that iPod.

stuck on you | wearing_tearing (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Bucky? You don’t look so hot.”

Bucky makes a tiny little sound in the back of his throat, only to start coughing. Of course he doesn’t look hot. He’s sick and he’s dying and Steve obviously isn’t attracted to him.

you have the place next to my place | justanotherStonyfan (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

prompt: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Captain America helps the Vet next door.

you’ve got (30) new matches | williamkaplans (AO3)

steve x bucky

When everyone finds out Steve's bi thanks to Bucky's recovering memories, Natasha kicks up her match-making into high gear. Steve has zero luck, but Natasha won't give up, especially when Sam (jokingly) suggests online dating. It isn't long before Steve finds someone, a someone who seems eerily familiar.

perfectly right wrong number | melonbutterfly (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

It all starts because Steve is too dumb to handle his smartphone.

A wrong number AU in which Bucky Barnes doesn't enter Steve's life (meaning: Bucky wasn't born until the eighties, but Steve is still Captain America) until Steve accidentally dials the wrong number. Wherein there is a lot of texting, some advice via Natasha and Darcy, a bit of pining, and a first date in an amusement park. Oh, and on top of being a disabled veteran, Bucky is a professional catwalker. Literally.

put your number in my phone | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve tucks his phone back into his pocket and turns back to the computer. He only has to click a few times before he finds the link to the questionnaire and opens it, inputting the participant number before hitting next. The beginnings of the consent form fills the page, and all Steve has left to do now is wait for the participant— one James Barnes, according to the website— to show up.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t end up having to wait very long. James Barnes shows up ten minutes early and knocks on the door before cracking it open and peeking in.

“Oh, hi,” he says, when he spots Steve sitting at the desk. He pushes the door open all the way and steps into the room just as Steve spins in the chair to face him.

“Um, I’m, uh, a bit early, but I’m here for the decision making study,” James continues, clear blue eyes flickering around the room before landing on Steve again. The skin between his eyebrows crinkles up a little, and god, Steve probably shouldn’t find his uncertainty as cute as he does. “Am I in the right place?”

wouldn’t it be nice | MacksDramaticShenanigans (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"You are never going to believe what just happened," Bucky bemoans, shaking his head. He's at Steve's side in a moment and doesn't bother to give any warning before he dramatically falls into Steve's lap. Steve just barely manages to save his book from getting squashed.

"What is it?" Steve asks, matching Bucky's dramatic tone. "What am I not going to believe?"

"I just got off the phone with Natasha," he starts. "She cancelled on me!" Bucky throws his arms up, nearly smacking Steve in the face in the process.

Steve carefully places his hand on Bucky's forearm and lowers it away from his face.

"You're kidding," he says, a frown curving onto his lips at the news.

"I wish I was," he sighs. Bucky presses his lips together into a disappointed line and deflates against the back of the couch, slinking down Steve's thighs a little. "Who goes to Coney Island alone? How pathetic is that?"

Steve snorts, earning a glare from Bucky, and pats Bucky's thigh. "Aw, don't be such a sourpuss, Buck," he says. "Who said anything about going alone?"

all jokes aside | darksknight (AO3)

steve x bucky

"Before we know it Banner’s gonna be makin’ insinuations.” (Everyone "jokes" about Steve and Bucky being in a relationship until, eventually, they admit that they are.)

barnes & rogers and the goddamn truth

steve x bucky (teacher au)

There are three well-known facts at Shield High:

1. The history teacher Mr. Barnes is a stone-cold terror, and it’s not even because he only has one arm. 2. The other history teacher, Mr. Rogers, is a mysterious enigma, and it’s something to do with the body of a Greek God and contradicting stories of his past. (They’re all rumours, anyway.) 3. Mr Barnes and Mr Rogers hate each other.

Bucky wouldn’t have it any other way.

in the shadows | DragonWannabe (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Five times they thought they were almost caught, one time someone found out, and one time they didn't have to hide.

OR:

Bucky and Steve grew up in a time when people like them went to jail.

single and looking | Jaiden_S (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

"Bucky held his place with his index finger and turned the magazine over to check the date on the cover. It was brand new, just out this month. An unexpected cord of anxiety tightened in Bucky’s chest. Single and looking? Frantically, he flipped back to the article. What exactly was Steve looking for? According to the article, Steve’s dream girl should be intelligent, altruistic, well-versed in current events and have a wicked sense of humor. Oh, and he had a thing for high heels and red lipstick. Bucky’s stomach churned as he re-read the article. Was that really what Steve wanted? Make-up and stilettos?"

A slightly sappy tale of two utterly besotted super-soldiers who excel at miscommunication.

these american dreams (ain’t no white picket fences left for me) | kariye (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

In which Bucky has a house, a dog, an herb garden, and a serious case of insomnia. Welcome to Havensport, Indiana (population 8,294), where Tom’s Neighborhood Grocer stays open all night, little old ladies call the car shop to get their refrigerators repaired, and the heat of summer days and the length of summer nights can make you think that this perfect world will last forever.

i’ve been careless with a delicate man | paraxdisepink (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Steve lets SHIELD think he and Bucky were boyfriends so they’ll let him see the Winter Soldier in medical.

knock on wood | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers lives a quiet, steady life, until his next door neighbour moves in and starts having incredibly energetic sex every night. All Steve wants is for him to move his bed away from the wall so the damn headboard doesn't knock a hole through his wall.

progressively bigger keys | spinawren (AO3)

steve x bucky

“A very little key will open a very heavy door.” ― Charles Dickens, Hunted Down

Steve and Bucky, it appears, have less need for a key and more use for a battering ram in trying to come out of the closet.

(The one where Steve tries to do one thing (one thing!) without causing a national ruckus, but the press are determined to see Bucky as Steve's best friend. And nothing more.)

stucky discover gay rights | Alicia_Borealis (AO3)

steve x bucky

“Then, why-” Steve stopped himself and looked at Bucky, who had tears rolling freely down his cheeks. “We’re- we’re not sick?”

“Wait, what?” Tony asked.

“Being a homosexual, it isn’t… wrong?”

The story of how Steve Roger's loved and lost Bucky, then how he got him back and then how he realised he was allowed to love him after all.

thursday nights with bucky barnes | Ellessey (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve has a comfortable, well-worn routine for his Thursday nights, until the old man who runs the laundromat breaks his hip.

Then Steve has Bucky instead.

to seek a nood-er world | jehans (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky

Send noodz

Steve has been staring at his phone for the last six minutes, eyes narrowed so much they’re almost closed at this point, trying to figure out what the hell Bucky means. Noodz? What the fuck are noodz?

Listen, Steve is at least marginally aware of modern pop culture. He’s heard of nudes — not that nudes are exactly a modern invention; artists have been creating them for millennia — and he does know that people tend to misspell words to be cute or funny. They did that when he was young, too. Because time is a flat circle, apparently.

But, wait—does that mean…?

No. Not possible. Bucky isn’t asking Steve to send him…nudes.

Right?

tied ‘round your throat | sleepypercy (AO3) (18+)

police officer steve x serial killer bucky

Steve's a small-town police officer trying to track a serial killer who's been in Steve's bed the whole time.

much tattoo about nothing | Deisderium (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

Turns out tattoos give Steve boners.

the perfect man | Ellessey (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Setting up a dating profile is decidedly not in Bucky's skill-set, but against all odds he manages to connect with someone who makes the one-night stand he thought he wanted feel like not nearly enough.

kiss me and take off your clothes | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve Rogers is dared to send a dick pic to a blog which critiques dick pics (run by none other than Bucky Barnes). Hilarity ensues.

i can’t dare to dream about you anymore | steveandbucky (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve considers himself to be a pretty open-minded guy, which is why he can't quite understand why he feels so uncomfortable whenever he sees his gay roommate kissing guys. He's not homophobic, but how else can he explain the way his stomach twists at the sight?

It takes him a while to catch on.

exam room b | steveandbucky (AO3)

modern steve x nurse bucky

“Wait, what do you mean he asked for me?”

“He asked if the cute male nurse with the ponytail was working today. I assume he meant you.”

kickstart my heart | Kalee60 (AO3) (18+)

doctor steve x modern bucky

Bucky’s Wednesday wasn’t off to a great start. Not only did he wake up in a hospital with his annoyed best friend staring down at him, his treating Doctor just happened to be way too familiar, and the reason for that was slightly mortifying.

With misunderstandings in the air, a snarky nurse who is a pain in his butt and the ugliest neck brace known to man attached to his body. There was no way his Wednesday was ever going to improve. Could it?

you make me feel.. | kalika_999 (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.

nothing in the world that could stop it | rainbow_nerds (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky just wanted to send his best friend a picture of his cat being an idiot while he was taking a bath. Was it really his fault for forgetting the full length mirror right opposite the tub?

rescue me and hold me in your arms | 74days (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky is on the worst date of his life, and what he really needs of for this waitress to get the message he's sending her with his mind to rescue him. She doesn't, but she does send someone to extract him from a night of torture...

odd ways | peterbparker (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“And it would have been an amazing night with my son if he wasn’t distracted by the hot guy on the other side of the room,” Sarah sighed, shaking her head. “He’s been looking over at you for the past fifteen minutes.”

Bucky choked on the mouthful of beer he had just taken.

“What?” he croaked. Things were starting to make a little more sense now.

“Right?” Sarah said, waving her hand towards her son. “He completely ignored my garden stories because he’s been making eyes at you so I decided to come over and introduce myself.”

series

rare is this love (keep it covered) | @musette22 (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

It’s 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

coming up easy | @musette22 (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

4 minute window | @cesperanza

steve x bucky

"Look, if they catch me," Bucky muttered, "they're either going to kill me or they're going to put me in a box with a little window and—Steve, I can't."

swapped | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

if u wanted my number u couldve just asked

u didnt have to steal my whole phone ;)

Steve stared down at his phone, confused. He didn't recognize the number – except, oh wait, he really did. That was his number. On his phone.

He flipped the phone over, then slid one hand down his face. Not his phone.

“Fuck,” he muttered.

[stupid fucking] brooklyn hipster bros | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Bucky's mother gives him an ultimatum. Bucky doesn't respond well.

All Barneses are stubborn assholes, Steve observes, as though he doesn't see the irony of calling someone else stubborn. Or an asshole.

And Bucky can't even deny he is a total asshole for lying to his mother about dating Steve just so he doesn't have to bring someone else to her wedding, but damn if he's not going to give the lie everything he has.

brought to brightness | eyres (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

Army veteran Bucky Barnes has fallen in love with Steve, a guy he met online a few months after he returned from Afghanistan. Only problem is, he doesn't know Steve's last name or even what he looks like.

When his sister helps him send his story into MTV's Catfish, he's hoping they can help him meet Steve or, at least, let him move on with his life if Steve isn't real. Little does he know, Steve and Captain America have more in common than just a first name.

slide to answer | relenaflanel (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

"What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up.

“Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

how to woo the winter soldier | writeonclara (AO3)

steve x bucky

“I think I’m ready to date again,” Steve said.

“What,” Natasha said.

“What?” Clint said, lowering his binoculars. He blinked at the dumbstruck look on the Captain’s face, then followed his gaze to where he was staring dopily at—at the Winter fucking Soldier.

“Steve, no,” Clint groaned.

Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

all these things that i’ve done | @not-withoutyou

steve x bucky

Steve was the patron saint of waiting too long. Bucky was atoning for his sins. Maybe they’d both been forsaken, abandoned by the light. Maybe they’d find a way back to each other again.

Post civil war, if things had gone differently.

find a way (to make it back home) | belwrites (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (college au)

Fresh off a year abroad, Head Resident Assistant Steve Rogers finds his senior year of college to be full of changes, and he's not just talking about the growth spurt. He's more concerned with the fact that his best friend...isn't talking to him? Is dating his ex? May or may not be missing an arm?

In which Steve has no fucking clue what's going on, but he's trying, Bucky learns how to communicate with his best friend again, and everyone quietly panics about the future.

is it pretending if i already want you? | OhCaptainMyCaptain (AO3) (18+)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Based on prompt: Pretend Boyfriends AU where one of their families is always wondering why they're never in a relationship, so the other offers to pretend to be their boyfriend for some family event

the roommate | layersofart, Niitza (AO3)

cap steve x modern bucky

In which Steven G. Rogers, a.k.a. Captain America, gets a roommate. Who rapidly turns into his "roommate"—in the euphemistic sense of the word.

It takes SHIELD and the rest of the Avengers an absurd amount of time to notice.

dear mr. postman | odetteandodile (AO3)

steve x bucky (modern au)

Steve and Bucky revive an old friendship, get married (but totally just as friends, for reasons), and navigate a few of the many trials of the heart that come with falling in love with your best friend.

fate will play us out | steveandbucky (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x modern bucky

Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

the avengers hate club | notebooksandlaptops (AO3)

pop star steve x modern bucky

Bucky falls hopelessly for Steve and starts an Avengers hate club with the lead singer of the Avengers.

songbird | chicklette (AO3) (18+)

modern steve x musician bucky

At 43, James Barnes is a washed up old man. He’s got a dozen Grammys in the hall closet, an agent that can’t get him a deal, a decade-old case of writer’s block, a moody teen-aged daughter, and the gorgeous actress Natasha Romanova for an ex-wife. Well, one of them anyway. He’s a man who’s given up on finding joy in his life, and if it wasn’t for his kid, he’d have probably found a way to quit the world a long time ago.

Enter Steven Grant Rogers, struggling twenty-something, orphan, and someone who has no idea who Barnes is, other than some musician his mom liked a lot. The two men meet by accident, doing nothing more than passing the time in a quiet bar. But when a pap gets a shot of the two men embracing, Bucky takes it as a chance to finally come out as bisexual, and his agent makes him a proposition: Ten new songs and one very sweet boyfriend will get him a new record deal that will maybe, just maybe put him back on top.

Now all he has to do is write the songs, convince the kid, and not fall in love. Should be easy, right?

the right partner | LeeHan (AO3) (18+)

cap steve x ws bucky

Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

Date Bucky Barnes. Defeat the Winter Soldier. Bring down Hydra. How hard could it be?

#stucky fic #stucky fic recs #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #bucky barnes #steve rogers

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gb-patch · 4 years ago

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Ask Answers: January 28th, 2021 (Part 1)

And we’re back with many more ask answers! Thank you for waiting.

Is lizzie/the main character tripping over a rock a random event in barbecue? or does it require certain choices? i picked the same choices in multiple different playthroughs but ended up with three different outcomes (1. nothing happens 2. liz trips 3. i trip)

Yep! It’s completely random. Just a little moment of life you don’t have control over, haha.

wait just double checking you stated that derek would be another romantic interest you can pursue in step 4 right??? im just asking cuz hes my fav character

oh wait and btw i was the one that asked the question about derek being in the step 4 just now, and will you have to pay extra for like a dlc or something bc i play the free version rn and i just wanted to check!!

Yeah, you will eventually be able to romance him, but unfortunately it is a paid DLC. Cove is the only love interest who’s entirely free-to-play. You can follow our social media for when we giveaways for a chance to win a key for it, though.

i know that y’all said the step 3 dlc and step 4 will be released early 2021, is there any update to that? for example, a rough amount of days/weeks until release? no pressure at all, i’m super excited!! <3

The Step 3 DLC will be about in maybe two-two and half months or so. Step 4, we’re not entirely sure. Maybe a few months after the Step 3. We don’t want to give set dates until we’re really close to the release since otherwise we wouldn’t be able to 100% guarantee them.

First off love the game. Second I'm a little confused on how the nsfw dlc is gonna work. Because based on some stuff you've said it sounds like a patreon only thing and others make me think it could be an itch/steam thing after the fact? Would you mind clarifying for me 😅. Also if it's a patreon only thing do you need to become one before it's released?

It’s not going to be on Steam/Itch. The actual game of Our Life is safe for teens with no adult content. Any 18+ stuff we’re releasing is separate bonus content. Right now the only for sure plan is having it available through Patreon. If there’s another hosting site that’s not Steam or Itch that’d be easier for people than Patreon we might consider uploading it there too, but nothing else is set.

If you want the bonus Moment you’d have to join once it’s already out or sometime after the release. Joining now would get you our current rewards, but wouldn’t get you future content that’s coming later.

this is probably an awkward question and i apologize, feel free not to answer, but i just wanted to address the elephant in the room....will step 4 acknowledge covid/2020 world events?? i kind of hope not bc i'd like to just exist in a fictional version of the world where things are happy in this quaint seaside town and the world isn't falling apart, but i'd understand if there are some references to it. just thought i'd ask so i can Prepare if that makes sense

Step 4 isn’t going to include Covid or even reference it. When we set Step 4 in that year we definitely didn’t know there’d be a global pandemic during it. It’s too late to move the timeframe earlier or later, but we’re not going to make Step 4 stressful for anyone because the real world became so much more stressful. The universe of Our Life will just be an even more idealized place than it was before.

hiiiii! i'm really sorry if this is a bother. i was just curious if cove has a canon setting for each step, like is it canon that he stays candid the whole game and is super sporty for instance and the rest are variations? thank you for your time!

None of those settings are canon. They’re all equally valid.

I love the game and Cove so much that I ended up spending most of the holidays playing it. Definitely worth it! Idk if you're taking suggestions/criticisms, but I chose the peach skin tone and seeing it written as "my peach skin" in the game broke immersion for me because I kept thinking it was referring to the fruit instead of my skin color. I think that skin color is most commonly referred to as "fair" but "peachy" or "rosy" would work too if you're looking for a different word

Thank you for sharing your experience. We’ll change it to “peachy” in the next update!

So I accidentally overwrote a save file with a different one, is there any way I can recover that save?

Sadly, there isn’t. Not unless you had a backup of the actual save file files in a separate location you can get. I’m really sorry. You can try using the skip feature to quickly speed through the game and get back to where you were though.

Do you try to maintain the color scheme for the clothing throughout the years in Our Life?

Yes, though in hindsight not as much as I wished I did, haha. It could’ve been a little more cohesive. It was a bit too broad in my opinion.

I noticed that Cliff mentions he wasn’t much older than Cove before finding out he was going to be a father when he finds MC in bed with Cove during Part 3 so doesn’t that Cliff and Kyra were teenage/young parents?

Yeah, Cliff was nineteen and Kyra was eighteen when Cove was born. They were just a couple of kids.

Does Cove have a favourite holiday?

It changes depending on the year. Around Step 1 he’s not a huge fan of a lot of holidays because he’s not together with his whole family for them. But once he’s older and Kyra comes around more, he starts appreciating major family holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas more than other holidays because he knows how it feels not to have that. Though summer vacation is of course his most favorite all the time, if that counts as a “holiday”.

I tried to join your patreon but I can’t seem to? The website keeps saying something went wrong and to try again.

I’m sorry you’re having trouble! I think contacting Patreon support would probably be the best option if the joining process itself is having issues.

How much is it to become a part of your Patreon? I don’t have a lot of money currently but would love to help you out more than just buying the games and dlcs.

Aw, I appreciate you wanting to support but the Patreon is really optional. You don’t need to push yourself to join if you don’t have extra funds for it. To still answer the question, the tiers are $1, $5, $10, $15, and $20 in USD. Each come with different perks.

I had this idea for a future daughter for the MC and Cove being named "Poppy", after the flowers on their hill~

That’s a really sweet idea! I’m sure Cove would be a fan.

So if you don't mind me asking, how do you get Cove to propose to you in Step 4 and not the other way around?

I’m afraid that’d be too big of a spoiler to give away before the epilogue’s release, at least in terms of specifics. Generally you’ll just have to be patient and try not to propose first, haha.

will we get to move in with cove in step 4 😮?? or is that a secret

You can be living together with Cove in Step 4! Though you wouldn’t get to see the place itself. That’s up to your imagination.

Is it bad that I'm completely in love with Cove's dad... What I gotta pay to romance Cliff 😭 (I don't mean as Jamie because that would be wack)

That’ll cost one million 20 twenty dollar bills, haha. I’m really glad you like him, though sadly we aren’t able to make a separate game where you can romance Cliff. I wish we had enough time to make tons of new scenes/extra stories in the Our Life world, but it just takes too long. Maybe people will make fanworks about it.

—–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

#our life #Our Life Beginnings & Always #ourlifeba #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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153-cm · 3 years ago

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15/7/22

Hello! It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. Who blogs anymore, am I right? People nowadays just look at tiktok. Even instagram is slowly starting to die out. It’s been 5 years since I last made a post here, and perhaps I might change? I don’t know if I’ll continue to blog after this post, but maybe I might. It’s a good release.

A lot of things have happened in the span of 5 years. I graduated, had 3 boyfriends back-to-back, had multiple jobs. Basically, I’ve grown a lot since then. At the heart of it all, I’m a little bit the same as I once was, 5 years ago. I haven’t read my old blog posts, but I’m guessing I was a bit childish? I was so young. I still am young right now.

I guess blogging on tumblr makes me feel nostalgic. It reminds me of a time where I was more sure of what I wanted in life. I’m not gonna say that 3 of my exes fucked me up, but they kind of did. Okay, 1 of them didn’t, he’s a nice guy. But the 2 other guys? Nah. I feel like they really distracted me from what I want to do. The first one I dated in the span of 5 years was fucked up. I think I’m still recovering from that relationship right now.

My original plan was to build an audience online, become a content creator, influencer, model and actress. I was on my way to achieving this dream, really. Till one of my exes really fucked me up emotionally and mentally. I think deciding to date someone at that age was the “wrong” move. That’s because it distracted me from my goals and ambitions. I still want the same thing, but up until now I don’t think I’ve realised what I need to sacrifice in order to make my dreams a reality.

That’s okay, though. I’m glad I’m still in my 20s. There are tonnes of things I can still do, even though I’m not that young anymore. I think one thing I’ve learnt is that I don’t want to be in a relationship just yet. I think it takes up a lot of time, and I don’t even know what I want. Oh wait, let’s brainstorm right now.

Ideal partner:

k*nky

successful

ambitious

hardworking

witty, funny

confident

any gender

5+ years older than me

I hope my next man is my last man. At this point I don’t even know if I’ll get married. I would like a companion, though. A long term one. I can’t let random men disrupt my process! I can be whatever I want to be, I just can’t let anyone take my future away from me. Not this time. Not again.

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votederpycausemufins · 4 years ago

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no, you know what, next chapter now! remember this is chapter 3 of this war arc thing so if you didn’t read chapter 2 since i posted it like 5ish hours ago, go read that first. look! here’s some links!

Chap 1 Chap 2

Hey, can you tell I like grian? cause today i’m using Avian!Grian, Watcher!Grian and Triplet!Grian all together.

Next chapter is gonna be a flashback based loosely on the fic @strawberrylemonz wrote of the triplets in the Antarctic empire.

but for now, have a sprinkling of angst. or maybe more than just a sprinkling.

When Tommy opened his eyes again, he found himself with all the Hermits in the town hall. A few Hermits that were already there like Zedaph brought out potions and food and other items for everyone to recover. Nearby Grian was shaking out the water that got on his wings from the emergency button being used.

“How’re ya doing Big G?” Tommy asked as he walked over, grabbing another mask of his own face from the table.

“Fine, what about you Tommy?”

“Dream kinda saw me right before the button got pressed. But he didn’t get a chance to hit me.” Immediately Grian was acting like a mother hen towards him and Tommy had to push the avian away. “Grian! I’m fine!”

“Are you sure? Because Techno and d- Philza were also there.”

“Yeah, I heard you confronted them.” Tommy softened his voice, noticing the look of pain on Grian’s face.

“Neither of them recognized me. I mean, it makes sense since it’s been so long for me and I look so… different.”

Tommy hugged Grian. He didn’t believe it when he learned that this was his missing older brother, but when Grian used his real name, something he shouldn’t have known, Tommy changed his mind. “Hey, c’mon, once this is all over you can brag about being the oldest now.”

Grian laughed and ruffled Tommy’s hair. “Yeah, and you look as old as Techno did out there.”

“No I don’t, he’s an old fart!” Tommy complained. “I’m still a teen!”

“You’re twenty-one!”

“I’m a child!”

Grian laughed. When Tommy had first shown up, he did everything to seem older than he was, now he refused to admit he’d grown up. “C’mon, let’s just-” He was cut off by a buzzing from their communicators. The two of them looked around and noticed the other hermits were doing the same. Everyone was here, so it couldn’t be a death message.

Xisuma tapped his helmet and everyone saw the glow of him looking at the communications chat. “Iskall, someone named Fundy is saying they’re at your tree.”

The redstoner immediately messed with his robotic eye to look at his own chat. His other eye widened and he equipped his elytra. “I’m going to go after him. I doubt it would be an ambush, there’s no way they could have gotten a whole group there while we were fighting.”

Rendog also put his elytra on. He said he would go with Iskall as some extra muscle just to be safe. The two of them flew off, careful to stay out of range of anyone in Dream’s army before heading toward the Omega Tree.

“Hey, now that they know I’m here, should we use me more as bait?” Tommy spoke up, causing Grian to pull him closer.

“Absolutely not. Any mistake and you could be captured!”

Before Tommy could complain, False spoke up. “Actually, it’s a good plan. You helped him learn to fly so he’s great at it. He’ll have no trouble escaping into the air. And he can also set up another pearl if they do capture him. Someone can watch in the sky and send word if he needs rescue.”

“But what if he-” Grian tried to speak up, but Tommy stopped him.

“Grian, I know these people. It would work. And I know how to get out of tough situations. And I’m not going to be the only one down there. Doesn’t make sense to send me there alone.

Reluctantly, Grian let Tommy go. The blond smiled and then gave his brother one last hug before pulling his mask on and leaving with a group of Hermits. All of them placed ender pearls in the emergency button and then left the town hall through bubble columns. Grian watched them go before following behind to be their eyes in the sky. Cub came with him, his vex wings still there from his earlier confrontation with Dream.

When the Hermits suddenly reappeared, Dream was ready for them. Instead of an axe, he held a sword. Whenever a Hermit got close, he would injure them and then use the long blade to pull off or break their mask. Tommy was going to be there, under one of those masks. And when Dream saw his sorry face next, he would drag the teen back home.

Dream heard a grunt from behind him and glanced back to see Philza with his weapon clashing with a hermit’s sword. Even with the mask, Dream could see the silver hair of said hermit. Dream may not have been familiar with their enemy as much as he wished, but there was one well known name he recognized. Etho. While Philza was a man who had lived years on hardcore, Etho had been living on a single world for longer. Both were very experienced men.

In his distraction, a hermit attacked Dream. He deflected their attack but in the process managed to hinder his teammate and suddenly Philza was killed. Dream attacked back, and while the Hermit who attacked him got away, Etho did not, having been left on a single heart when Phil died, only being alive from Dream’s mistake.

But he didn’t have time to dwell as more attacks came from the hermits. Once they had defeated these people, he could take over as admin and bring them back.

Philza gasped as he woke up on the bed, energy flowing through him from respawning. It wasn’t something he was used to, and before he almost didn’t link with the bed. When he started to get up, he heard rustling and immediately turned to fight. But no one was there, which was fine as his death had left him with no gear. Phil could hear fighting from outside the building and he quickly looked in the various chests for anything.

Philza ended up breaking part of the building for sticks and made himself a sword with the diamonds they found earlier, even finding more of the gem in chests they hadn’t bothered to check before. It wasn’t enough for a full set of gear, but it was enough. The only problem was trying to put on his chestplate, Phil finally noticed what happened.

It was impossible. They had been too damaged and the last time he had to respawn, nothing had happened. But there, right on his back were his wings, undamaged. Not a single feather was harmed or scorched or missing.

A shout from outside drew Philza’s attention back to the battle. He nearly put his wings away to put on his chest plate when he remembered how their enemy had elytra. He was the only one on their side who could fly. Phil stored the chest plate in a nearby barrel for later and left the building through the open roof. None of the hermits seemed to notice him until it was too late and his weapon cut into them. There were one or two of those from the smp who attacked him before realizing who exactly they were seeing, but otherwise, the reappearance of his wings was appreciated.

When Tommy saw his dad in the air, he couldn’t help but stare for a moment. He had told Xisuma about the situation of his dad. At first he thought that Philza had completely lost his wings, which would make sense why a respawn couldn’t help. But since he still had them, the admin was able to set a trigger for the avian’s wings to heal when he respawned. It was a risk that could help Dream, but Tommy hoped that the return of Phil’s wings would help him switch sides.

The sight invigorated Tommy and he was slashing at his old friends left and right. He managed to catch sight of False nearby and Techno fighting so he moved over to assist her. It was perfect timing as False managed to be cornered and Techno proclaimed the kill for the blood god just before Tommy could manage to remove the weapon from his brother’s hand.

“Leave her alone.” Tommy said as Techno glared up at him. He had hit a growth spurt while in hermitcraft and his voice deepened, so Tommy wasn’t surprised that his brother didn’t recognise him. Behind him False got up and ate a gold apple as well as splashing a potion over her own head, a bit of the liquid managing to splash onto Tommy, giving him a few seconds of healing.

But as Tommy stood to cover his head, Dream joined next to Techo and sliced the mask off Tommy’s face. When it fell, Tommy could clearly see the slight surprise on Techno’s face. While the warrior wasn’t that expressive, growing up with him made it easier for Tommy to read his face. Dream on the other hand grinned so large his smile could be seen out the sides of his mask.

Before Tommy could react, his arm was grabbed in a crushing grip from Dream. False in a panic simply yelled Tommy’s name, which ended up bringing the attention of the rest of the SMP members.

False swung her sword at Dream, giving Tommy just enough of a gap to use a firework and launch himself into the air. Dream called for the smp members to focus on Tommy and suddenly arrows were flying at him. With another rocket he flew further into the air. Looking down, Tommy saw an arrow coming towards him. He attempted to dodge, but it clipped his elytra, leaving a small tear in one wing.

A few more arrows also managed to reach him. When he wasn’t sure he could dodge them, the blond tried to make sure they directly hit him. Tommy had plenty of healing items and had nice armor, but if his elytra were too damaged, no amount of armor would help a fall like that.

Then, the thing he feared most happened. As he flew, rain started to fall. A few moments later there was the sound of a riptide trident being used. He turned to see Punz, having used his trident to get just close enough then he pulled out a crossbow and shot it. There was no time for Tommy to react and it went through one wing of his elytra. As Punz descended, Tommy tried to use fireworks to push him towards the ocean, but in his panic, all he did was push himself further up into the air. And then the elytra gave up on him and Tommy started to fall.

Philza heard the noise of a trident as the rain started to fall. He looked around in the air just in time to see Punz’s arrow destroy Tommy’s elytra followed by what sounded like Tommy calling for help. While he had trouble getting used to flying again after months of being grounded, Phil immediately flapped his wings as hard and as fast as he could. He refused to lose another child. So he pushed himself to get to Tommy before the worst could happen.

Grian wasn’t sure how he missed Tommy flying into the air, but he didn’t miss his brother screaming his name. He looked down to see Tommy falling, his elytra in shreds. He saw another avian flying towards his fallen brother. Grian knew that he was the only avian of the hermits so this other person had to be working with Dream.

As Grian pulled his wings in to dive towards Tommy, he realized he wouldn’t be able to make it. Sure there was enough time to reach Tommy before he hit the ground, but not enough before Tommy was grabbed by the other avian. As he continued to fall, Grian closed his eyes. He searched for something he buried deep inside himself. The red, yellow and blue feathers on his wings changed to purple, black and salt & pepper. When he next opened his eyes, there were 6 of them, all glowing a purple color. He opened his wings once more and gave a mighty flap, sending magical energy out through them and creating what sounded like thunder as the expelled energy propelled him faster towards Tommy.

Just before the other avian could reach his brother, Grian’s arms wrapped around Tommy and the wings wrapped around both of them. He didn’t have enough time to use more energy and teleport them away or slow them down, so he just braced himself. Then they hit the ground, all the force going into Grian’s wings. It was painful, but right now he didn’t care. The adrenalin from nearly losing Tommy was kicking in and the pain made his mind hazy.

The powers he had gained from being a watcher were dangerous and something he usually kept blocked off so he wouldn’t lose himself in it, but right now, with his current state, he wasn’t thinking of that, and slowly the previously locked away powers grew more dangerous and tempting.

Dream held his breath as Tommy fell. He didn’t want them to have come all this way for Tommy to lose his last life here. Luckily Phil was in the air, racing towards his son. He was sure that the Avian would reach Tommy until there was the sound of thunder and the sky lit up with a purple light. The figure that was lit up made his blood run cold. No. It wasn’t possible. A watcher. And not just any watcher. The Dreamslayer himself was a watcher. In a way it made sense how this would be the one person who seemed to be able to kill him, but knowing the full power he held was not a happy thought.

Dream managed to get his army to retreat just far enough in time that no one ended up in the destruction of Grian crash landing. Everyone stared, no one moved. Even the Hermits looked terrified of their own ally. Phil landed safely and tried to move to the crater, but Dream grabbed him. Techno was the next to move as The wings parted revealing Tommy hidden beneath them. Again, Dream tried to stop him, but Techno was further than Phil had been. While Techno had recently been staying out of things, Dream didn’t want to lose someone who was so good at making his stories perfect.

Techno held out his axe, ready to strike Grian, but the avian watcher just grabbed the blade of the axe. His head looked up and all six eyes focused on the weapon, each of them blinking out of sync. He only stopped looking when Tommy groaned, while he was physically uninjured, the rush of falling and the rapid pressure changes as well as the energy from Grian had caused him to pass out.

Techno pulled his weapon back, unsure if he should strike again. Half of the voices were telling him to attack and kill this person who took his brother, but the other half seemed to actually want him to stop. But the first half was louder and he swung the axe down again. Time seemed to slow down as he saw the supposed avian look back up and smile hauntingly. He resolved himself and cried out, “Blood for the Blood God!” as he put more force into the swing.

The moment the axe blade hit Grian’s skull, it shattered. Around them people started moving. A quick glance let Techno see the Hermits moving the smp army away, trying to protect their enemies. Looking back at his own enemy, Techno was met with Grian standing up. He spoke, but instead of his own voice, Grian spoke in Techno’s voice. He parroted the line the pvper had just spoken, only saying it louder and louder.

“Blood for the Blood God! Blood for the Blood God!!! Blood for the Blood God!!!” And then, in his normal voice, he shouted once more. “BLOOD FOR ME!!!”

#hermit!tommy au #tommyinnit #grian #grian xelqua #watcher grian #technoblade #dreamwastaken #philza #time displacement

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skelemira · 3 years ago

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Ooooh whats Rowan's lore? *grabs popcorn*

ALRIGHT BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS

Gonna leave it after the cut (if I remember how to do the cut right on mobile lol) so I don't clog up feeds

So Rowan started out as a human. Her family was okay financially, probably lower middle class. Not rich enough to be truly comfortable, but not in a whole lot of danger debt-wise. She had a mother, a father, an older sister named Magnolia (Nolia for short) and a little brother named Cedar (lol do you see a naming pattern here I'm so creative). Her parents were... Okay. They weren't abusive or anything, but they weren't exactly doting. They didn't really have the time to be doting, since they both worked all the time. The siblings all got along really well, though, the type of siblings that stuck together initially because they lacked that true family relationship but slowly morphed into ride or die siblings.

So one day, little 14-year-old Rowan (Nolia was 16, soon to be 17, and Cedar was 10) gets home from school, pretty average, normal day.

She's sitting at the table doing her hw when someone knocks at the door and her parents (it was kind of weird, they were never home at this hour) rush to open it. There stands a man in a lab coat, holding an envelope. Rowan hated him instantly. Something about him seemed wrong.

He talked to her parents for a bit, and her parents asked her to go get Nolia and Cedar with some urgency in their voices. And.... If she was right in placing that tone.... Guilty excitement...?

She got her siblings and they came downstairs.

Turns out her parents had been closer to debt than she realized. So to get some more money and.... Relieve some financial burdens, they sold their kids to a group of scientists needing victi----research participants.

Of course there was a struggle, Nolia stepping up to try and defend her siblings, screaming at her parents, Rowan holding Cedar close while silent tears poured down both their faces.

But the scientist was prepared, and before anyone could react, three men appeared with rags, holding them over the kids' mouths.

She woke up in an empty white room.

Well... If you could call it white. It was more of a dinghy, hardly cleaned beige. These men were not with the government, she could immediately tell that.

Gonna sum up this part bc it involves torture but basically the scientists were experimenting to see if they could turn a human into a monster. They found only Rowan's soul was compatible. They used her siblings to keep her under control..... Only they had dumped Nolia and Cedar on the streets weeks ago. They simply reused footage to "prove" to Rowan they were still there.

They almost succeeded in their experiment. They forced so much magic into her soul that it started to flip.... But it was too much and Rowan flatlined. They dumped her body in the woods, only disappointed that they came so close.

A couple months passed. Her body decayed until only her skeleton remained. The decaying process was helped along by all the magic, which seemed to have concentrated in her bones, morphing them slowly until they were all connected.

She woke up.

She spent several years on the streets. She begged, she stole, and... She drank. Or at least she tried to. (She was allowed into bars because people thought she was a monster, and she wasn't wearing stripes, so that must mean she was an adult.) She quickly discovered that her alcohol tolerance was *legendary*. She drank bars dry having drinking contests with people (that's how she paid for all her drinks) but felt no different than before. Eventually someone dared her to try Everclear, and though she grimaced at the taste, she drank the entire bottle.

The bar was silent.

The taste eventually grew on her, a kind of self-inflicted punishment that soon became a routine, almost a comfort.

Now a good chunk of the next part has to do with my friend's sonas which I'm not going to talk about because they're not my characters, but suffice it to say they were amazing friends to her and helped her recover and get on her feet.

One such friend discovered her sleeping by Grillby's dumpster, and Grillby let her stay the night on his couch, setting up a job at Muffet's for her the next day. She and Muffet became really close friends and finally she started to have a more stable life. (She finds and dates Underlust Sans but that's another story lol which I would be happy to share in another ask~ but y'all these two are so cute plz)

So someone suggests she go see a therapist. Goodness knows she's got some trauma. So she agrees. The name of her therapist seems..... Eerily familiar but she decides to ignore her gut and go anyway. She walks into the therapist's office and---

And sees her mother sitting there, looking professional and well-rested and happy.

She runs.

Yeah so suffice it to say she isn't gonna trust therapy again for a bit lol, and it takes her even LONGER (and some good therapy sessions) to accept the fact that her mother was clearly better off without her and her siblings.

Yeah ya girl has a lot of issues, especially abandonment <3 she is very much a people pleaser and WILL put your needs high above her own. Anything to make you want to stay. Anything to make her feel needed or wanted.

So she's hanging out at Grillby's one day (he and his bartender like to try out different mixes on her, try to see if they can get her to make a face at a cocktail) when a huge party comes in. Rowan automatically shrinks a bit from discomfort because of the big crowd, and she continues her game with Grillby and the bartender (the bartender is my friend's sona that's why I'm not naming them lol). Then she hears something that makes her freeze mid-sip.

"Let's hear it for Magnolia!!!! The first of us to get tied down!" Followed by raucous laugh....ter...

She recognizes that laugh.

She flees the bar, with no explanation to anyone. She catches a glimpse of Nolia, with Cedar by her side, and both of their eyes squint slightly in confusion as she passes by them.

She makes it outside, looking around for where to go, unable to think in her panicked confusion when---

"R......Rowan?"

She goes ramrod straight and slowly turns, hands balled into fists to hide the violent shaking. Nolia bursts into tears, Cedar immediately clinging to her stiff form, his shoulders shaking as bad as her hands.

They.... Recognized her. They.........

Were *happy* to see her.

Slowly she hugged them back and they got to catching up. (So yeah if it wasn't clear Nolia was getting married, they both had survived on the streets together until Nolia was old enough to get a job).

Also something I forgot to mention lol is Rowan had found 2 kittens behind Muffet's, an older girl kitten fiercely protecting a little boy kitten. They immediately latched onto her after she made it clear she wasn't a threat, and she decided to name them after her siblings.

Also things worth noting, she smells like apples, she has magical red translucent hair, her soul wavers from more upside down like a monster's to more upright like a human's, she loves to bake, she is like the DEFINITION of cottagecore, she has magical tattoos on her face that change around to look like the Day of the Dead skulls (the colors get brighter or darker with her moods), and she drinks 2 bottle of everclear every time she goes to Grillby's. The paramedics in the area quickly become used to people calling the ambulance when she drinks (seriously look up everclear it's basically pure alcohol). She eventually stops drinking (not that it was *really* harming her since she had that alcohol tolerance and a body made primarily of magic at this point (plus alcohol isn't really gonna hurt her, she doesn't have kidneys lol) but she wanted to stop anyway. She loves to paint and teaches one of her friends to paint, tending to her friend's garden while her friend paints. She also loves to cook and bake, she eventually helps out with baking at Muffet's, though she refuses to bake the spiders into the pastries. Her scones are things of legend, they sell out as soon as she brings the tray out of the kitchen.

Yeah that was a lot lol and there's little things here and there that I missed so feel free to send in questions about her if you want to know anything! Or if you want to know how Rowan and UL Sans got together (spoiler: they eventually get married and it's so cute)

#ask #anon #oc time babyyyy #Rowan #Rowan beloved #also thank you guys so much for asking about her #I adore her so much and don't get the chance often to share her lore

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sweatersstyles · 5 years ago

Text

you bring me home

tw: death

word count: 2,356

This is a piece that was something more personal to me and I'm thankful to Olivia (@bfharry) for allowing me to include it in her bf!harry fic-a-thon. My aunt died in early December of 2019 very suddenly. She and my uncle had been together for almost 20 years, but since common law marriage is not recognized in my state, her sister was in charge of all arrangements. Her sister lived in another state and basically just called and set up everything for her cremation over the phone. My uncle was too devastated to really speak up and say anything, so my family and I never truly got a chance to have the experience of a funeral for her. I never felt like I got that closure I needed, so for the past 8 months since her death, my brain has cycled through this vicious cycle of denial and depression, never fully reaching acceptance. This piece is basically just the experience I wish I had and Harry helping me through the grief process.

It's also the very first Harry thing I've ever written and posted here so any and all feedback is welcome!

also lots of hugs to @geoffwittek for reading over everything for me and being such an angel in general

"Linds? We're gonna be late, love. Your family's still meeting at 3, right?"

His voice sounds distant, despite you both being in the same room. Your brain registers the noise but is unable to form a response.

He stands near the end of the bed, hands in his pockets, head down, "We don't have to go if it's too much for you. I'm sure your family would understand."

The black dress Harry helped you shop for 2 days ago lays, taunting you, at the end of the bed. You remember mindlessly wandering around before you had a breakdown in the middle of the department store. Harry had to sit with you on the bench outside of the store until you pulled yourself together enough to go back in.

Nearly a week ago, you had answered a call from home only to find your world turned upside down. Your Nanna cried on the other end, she couldn't believe the news was true either. It was so sudden and so unbelievably unexpected.

Your Aunt Linda was dead.

Thankfully, Harry had invited you over for dinner and a movie that night. You still don't remember how you stopped crying long enough to tell him the news. He held you on top of his chest, letting you sob until exhaustion took over and you fell asleep.

Currently, you were sitting on the side of the bed. Something in your brain had prompted you to gather enough strength to take a shower a couple of hours ago, but you hadn't had the energy to move since then. Harry's warm hand squeezing your shoulder brings you back to reality long enough to look at the clock and see you only had 10 minutes to get ready and be out the door.

"You coming back to me there, angel? Anything I can do to help you get ready for this?" he kneels in front of you, one hand on your thigh, the other cupping your face, wiping one of the many tears that were starting to form and fall.

"No, no, I can do this. I still wanna go. Just give me 5 minutes to get ready?"

"I'll go warm up the car." he leans up slightly and kisses your cheek before grabbing a set of keys off the dresser and disappearing down the stairs.

You throw the dress over your head quickly. Dread builds in your stomach but you push through, selecting a pair of pantyhose and taking longer to put them on than you have to spare, making sure you don't rip the delicate fabric. Shoes waited on the floor at the foot of the bed, a simple pair of black flats with a small silver buckle.

The bathroom lighting does you no justice as you try your best to do something to make yourself look somewhat presentable. You know there's no point in makeup, it'll all end up washed away by tears most likely before you even arrive at the funeral home. You apply a quick layer of moisturizer, hoping your skin will have a chance to recover before it's all washed away too. Your hair gets swept back into a low bun and at the last minute you grab a pair of earrings to loop through your ears on the way down the stairs and out the door.

The cold, winter air of December surrounds you as you make your way to the car. Harry was true to his word and had the car warm and waiting for you.

You take a shaky deep breath once you're settled in the passenger seat. Harry rests a hand on your knee, "You sure you're ready, peach?" you smile faintly at his nickname for you.

You'll never forget meeting him for the first time and comparing accents; your Georgia drawl versus his British one. Some nights when you were both delirious with sleepiness but unable to drift off, you would just exchange single words back and forth, trying to mimic one another. The nickname tended to roll off his tongue easier when you were in your hometown.

You shake your head no. How could you ever be ready for a day like this? Despite she and your uncle never getting married, she always supported and loved you and your siblings as her own nieces and nephew from day one. How were you supposed to live without a woman who always had an encouraging or motivational word to offer when you were sad or frustrated? A woman whose light was so bright in your life that her absence surrounded you with a darkness you could never imagine pulling yourself through? ______________________________________________________________

"You're making your lip bleed, lovie. Here." He swipes a thumb softly over your bottom lip. He pulls a tube of lip balm out of his coat pocket and you gratefully take it and use it.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this, H." You look down at your hands, a few frayed tissues lay on your lap, messy and still wet with tears. Your gaze meets his, eyes pleading for some sort of escape.

His arm wraps behind your back and a hand rests on your side, pulling you closer to him. He kisses your temple, "Do you want to leave?" His voice is a low, comforting rumble in your ear.

You look around at the small funeral home chapel. Only two of the twelve long wooden pews were filled. Most of your aunt's family still lived in Virginia, where she was originally from, and none of them could be bothered to pay their respects here in small town, Georgia. You couldn't leave now.

He reads your face, a brief glance over your features, feels your body relax into his, "Just say the word if you change your mind, alright?"

You rest your head on Harry's shoulder for the remainder of the sermon. The preacher is nice enough, but the speech he prepared is all wrong. Your aunt would have appreciated this, but it just wasn't her. Wasn't an accurate representation of who she was and the impact she had on your universe.

The preacher finally wraps up with a prayer, asking all to stand and bow their heads. You've never known Harry to be a particularly religious sort, but he grabs your hand and squeezes as he bows his head. A quick and thoughtful reminder that he's still there. He's not leaving your side.

The small gathering of guests parades past the casket now, all expressing their final goodbyes as they pass. Harry stands back, quiet and respectful, letting your family through first before he rejoins you. His hand lands on the small of your back and wanders around to rest on your hip as you walk back into the lobby together.

You accept a few hugs and expressions of condolences from the few friends that came. Your hand stays loosely tied to Harry's the whole time, and he uses his free hand to greet everyone you introduce him to. Your family offers you a spot in the family car to the graveside, but you decline. Harry assures them he'll drive you to the cemetery safely.

The graveside service is thankfully quick. Another gathering of guests and more kind words from the preacher. A small prayer. Emotional exhaustion is settling into your body, and Harry easily supports your weight back to the car when the service is over.

"Your Nanna cornered me in lobby before we left the funeral home while you were talking to your cousin," he starts the car and fiddles with the controls, adjusting the heat, "she wants us to come to her house for a bit. Are you up for that?"

You nod your head yes, still not sure if your voice is strong enough to not break when you answer him. You know it will only be your family there. 8 people, including Harry. You could handle that.

"Should we grab a bite to eat before we go? You haven't eaten much today, honey."

You chuckle. The first genuine laugh in a week bubbling up through your chest. You stop when you notice Harry's adorably confused expression, his brow furrowing together with slight concern.

"Oh, no. You don't eat before you go to Nanna's house, trust me." ______________________________________________________________

Harry is a warm addition to the small house on the hill.

His eyes go wide when he sees the amount of food spread across your grandmother's small round kitchen table. His gaze follows everyone already seated around the table and then back to you. All you can manage is an "I told you so" shrug.

"Is all this just to impress me or..?" his voice is a whisper in your ear, but the kitchen is so small it echoes around to the whole table.

"No, babe. This is how it always is at Nanna's."

Your Nanna and Aunt Donna, who you're sure spent all day making everything, insist that it's not THAT much food, but you know you'll all be guilted into at least finishing a full plate AND taking leftovers home for later. You're thankful to see even your uncle has a plate in front of him, knowing his appetite hasn't been the same since he lost your aunt.

When dinner is finished, a pot of coffee is made and passed aroud to accompany dessert. The aroma fills the house, the strong scent a comforting reminder of your Aunt Linda. She always said she hated the taste, but loved the smell. You inhale, the essence surrounding you and bringing back warm and lovely memories. You catch Harry's eye, a small smile crossing your face.

He makes his way around the living room, refilling a few mugs along the way. The open entryway between the two rooms allows you to watch the path he takes. He stops where your momma sits in a green plaid armchair, her lips are moving but you can't make out what they're saying. They both look at you and he turns back to her, a charming smile lighting up his face.

By the time he makes it back to the kitchen, you've slipped into your Nanna's bedroom. You know it's normally rude to disappear, but this place is home. Had been your second home all your life and you knew no one would care that you were slipping your shoes off and crawling under the covers of the freshly made bed.

You hear a lull of voices outside the door, and you're thankful for the noise, for the small comfort of gentle chaos. If you listen closely, you could pinpoint individual noises throughout the house; your dad and Nanna talking politics, your momma and sister flipping through channels on the living room tv, your Aunt Donna and your uncle questioning Harry about his favorite British television shows. You hear water running and picture Harry, his tall frame towering over the tiny kitchen sink, helping with the dishes. You feel a slight bit of guilt for leaving him alone, but by the sound of his laughter, he's making himself right at home too.

You drift to sleep, and when you wake, Harry is next to you. His long fingers smoothing comfortingly up and down your arm, "You disappeared, love. Thought you might like some company. Hope you don't mind me joining you."

You shift your body closer to him, your head on his chest, his arm resting behind your head, "Is everyone still here?"

He brushes a loose strand of hair out of your face, tucks it neatly behind your ear, "Your uncle just left a minute ago, but everyone else is still around. Your brother called, said he was sorry he couldn't make it. I came to find you, make sure you were okay."

Your little brother was in his last semester of college. It was finals week and you know he would've been here if he could.

"I'm okay...I mean as okay as you can be after a day like today, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

You slip off the bed and Harry follows you, hands on your waist to steady your balance while you slip your shoes back on. He helps you remake the bed, and the two of you make your way back towards the kitchen, now quiet that everyone moved to the living room.

"Harry?" You turn back at the last second before you leave the room. He's following so closely behind you you end up pressed against him.

"Hmm?" He catches you, pulling you even closer, the light from the kitchen shining on his face.

"I haven't had a moment to thank you today. For all of it..dropping everything and flying out here with me, spending the whole day with my family, driving me everywhere, just being here with me. You've kept me sane and I could never repay you for something like that."

"You don't have to thank me. I wouldn't have dreamed of being anywhere else than right here. You needed me and that was all that mattered, everything else can wait."

______________________________________________________________

“Ha! Look at baby peach! How old were you here?”

Your lap was covered in pictures, the few favorites you had brought with you from home. Harry was plopped next to you on the couch. The picture in question is a baby picture of you, chocolate icing all over your chubby cheeks.

“That’s my first birthday party.” You giggle at his smile, the way he can’t stop staring at the photo.

You shuffle through a few more, Harry being curious about each one and questioning you about every detail.

“Who’s this?” The picture he hands you takes your breath away for a second. You forgot it was mixed in and he instantly knows by the tears filling up your eyes.

“It’s your Aunt Linda, isn’t it? I’m sorry, I didn’t know..”

“No, it’s okay. This is a good picture of her. She had such an amazing smile.” He rests his head on your shoulder.

“She loved you so much, babe. She would be so proud of you.”

“Yeah, she would’ve thought you were pretty great too, H.”

#boyfriendathon #harry x reader #bf!harry #my writing

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percabeth4life · 4 years ago

Note

Solangelo? For the ship ask game

Relationship Ask

Starting out strong I see. Well, most of my followers no that I don’t particularly like Solangelo, but I will break this down from the most neutral standpoint I can.

The main factors I look at when I judge relationships I like as a genuine “I ship this as a relationship” and not just “the drama/symbolism/etc. is so fun” are:

1. Physical age (least important)

2. Mental maturity (very important)

3. Emotional maturity (very important)

4. Power imbalance (moderately important)

In some cases Power Imbalances can be the most important factor, but those cases aren’t very common. By real life standards I can only really think of one that is considered a no: doctor/patient relationships.

Now then, to dive in (for this ask I will compare both the actual age of Nico, and the one where Rick changed the age mid series).

Physical Age

Actual Age (13)

Nico is 13 and Will is 15. At a young age physical age is more important. At 13 you have just become a teenager, physically you’re changing a lot, your hormones are all over the place, you’re gonna have some growth spurts. 15 most of that has begun to calm down, you’ve learned how to deal with these changes.

Here there is an imbalance favoring Will.

Changed age (14)

Nico is 14 and Will is 15. Obviously at just 1 year of an age gap it isn’t that bad at all. At 14 you’ve started to figure out this teenager thing, you’re understanding the changes physically more, you’re not great yet but you’ve got things down.

Here there is only a small imbalance favoring Will.

Mental Maturity

Physical age no longer matters.

Nico has been forced to grow mentally an immense amount at this point. He knows how to lead armies, is able to handle big problems, is fiercely independent, and knows how to make tough decisions. He is smart, cunning, and knows how to do whatever it takes to get things done. On the other hand, he is also uninformed on the modern day and in that nature is behind on things.

Will is effectively the head doctor of the camp. He’s helped give birth to a baby. He’s walked into war zones. He’s been the emergency doctor that saved even Annabeth. He fought against the Titan’s.

It’s only slightly in Will’s favor as Nico’s other factors mostly make up for the imbalance in modern knowledge.

They are basically equal in mental maturity.

Emotional Maturity

Nico... oh boy is there a lot to unpack there. This boy has been through trauma. This kid has not been able to process his trauma and emotions for at least 3 years. He is still traumatized from shit that happened a few years ago. He’s barely recovered from Bianca’s death and even that is debatable seeing how he tried to bring her back to life again the moment there was the slightest opening. He’s also been ostracized for being a child of Hades and that’s not easy to deal with either. He is child emotionally and needs serious therapy to process everything that has happened.

Will has some trauma, as anyone that went through the Titan War does, but overall he’s pretty healthy emotionally. Keep in mind I’m judging from what we’ve seen canonically and headcanons on how he may be hurt aren’t being considered here. Others may wish to add them to the equation. He has no mentioned mom info, but seems to have grown up pretty healthily. He’s able to handle stress well and is clearly in a loving family with his siblings. He’s not been ostracized and clearly can’t imagine others feeling that way (points to how he talked to Nico in Book 10).

This heavily leans in Will’s favor.

Power Balance

Whether people acknowledge it or not Will is referenced as Nico’s doctor many times. Doctor’s orders is a common statement Will makes, and it’s used to get Nico out of things and get Nico privileges others do not get. It could likewise be used to take away privileges even if that hasn’t been done.

There is a clear doctor/patient relationship here.

From the AMA (American Medical Association)

A physician must terminate the patient-physician relationship before initiating a dating, romantic, or sexual relationship with a patient. Likewise, sexual or romantic relationships between a physician and a former patient may be unduly influenced by the previous physician-patient relationship.

Doctor/Patient relationships aren’t really acceptable, and are not allowed by the AMA. There is an inherent imbalance, both in having power over the patient, and in judgement being impaired for the patient. So in the case of the power imbalance here...

This leans overwhelming in Will’s favor.

And so now we put it all together!

Actual Age (Nico 13, Will 15)

Physical, Emotional, and Power wise Will holds the power. Mental maturity wise they are equal.

Changed age (Nico 14, Will 15)

Emotional and Power wise Will holds the power. Physical and Mentally they are equal.

So my breakdown concludes with: this relationship holds inherent imbalances that lean heavily in Will’s favor. Other’s may add in headcanons that change the Emotional imbalance, but the power imbalance can only be fixed by making Will stop being Nico’s doctor.

Thanks for the ask anon <3

Send me an ask about a relationship.

#anti solangelo #this is tagged for safety purposes #I won't add the solangelo tag even tho it's only anti by the means of being a breakdwon #cause I know shippers don't wanna see this #it is tagged anti tho #so I will be putting the rest of the main tags on it #anon asks #life answers #will solace #Nico di Angelo #PJO #percy jackson #pjo analysis #relationship asks

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