#I’m gonna learn this time around | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tariah23 · 7 months ago

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Was getting my ass kicked in Arknights as usual

#I fucking suck omg #I’m doing better I guess tho… I never learned how to decided which class would be the best picks before going into battle… I’m always #grabbing by support Nerl because she’s strong and I used to have her before I deleted my last account and started over…#there’s too many classes to keep up with sorry ☠️#I’m gonna learn this time around #idk what some of them really do outside of defenders and the other straight forward classes #and individual characters have multiple traits that idk if they’re useful or suck but I’m trying to be more strategic #rambling

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kingwaino · 18 days ago

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i don't talk about him a lot on here but a couple years ago i got a beta fish which i so sweetly named sebass-tian hamil-fin. i'd never had a fish before but at the time, since i wasn't in my apartment a lot, a fish was really the only thing i could care for. unfortunately, he passed away today.

i didn't think i'd be this upset by it because i could kind of tell over the past week or two that he wasn't doing too well. i tried my best to make him feel better but unfortunately, it wasn't enough.

i plan to go and get another fish tomorrow but i just...don't really know how to feel about it right now. he was my first fish and certainly won't be my last.

#tw animal death #cw animal death #i do recognize that i gave him a better quality of life than being on some pet store shelf in a small container #but this still isn't easy to take. i know he wasn't doing well and i tried my best dammit. i really did.#the shittiest part is that it really is my fault. you're supposed to change the tank water every two weeks or so and i just...i couldn't #whether it be work or depression or executive function i just usually got to it around four weeks #and the water just wasn't healthy at that point. so i'm really kind of beating myself up for it because by the time i realized it #it was too late. but wow did that little guy fight. he survived a move with me! i didn't move him properly in any way shape or form #and yet he did it. anyway. i've expected this every day for the last week or two but it was just confirmed and it really hit me #i've just been sitting here crying because i loved him but also! idk i just needed some company at first ya know?#not to sound like. detached from the situation but like...it really was an experiment? bc i never owned a fish before and wanted to see #if i could actually do it and i'm so so glad i did #he was a beautiful fish and i appreciated his company because beta's are actually pretty smart and usually grow to recognize you.#i lovingly joked with one of my friends that seabass was in hospice the past few weeks so truthfully i know i did what i could #but it was also realistically a learning experiment. now i know how to properly take care of a fish and the next seabass will have a great #experience and tank already ready for him. anyway if you've read this far gold star! i'm gonna log off now #i’m rambling again aren’t i

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thetwilightroadtonightfall · 5 months ago

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I am the happiest person on earth right now because I just went out with a friend to grab a late lunch and it was just supposed to be a quick casual catch up thing that turned into a 4 hour conversation in the car about things that happened to us almost a decade ago 🥲

#roadie rambles #no one’s obligated to read this but y’all…you better sit down if you’re interested bc I’m feeling SO chatty tonight #for context: this is my childhood friend I grew up with then we went to different high schools and colleges #but over the years we’ve kept in touch and we see each other maybe 2-3 times a year #we have really similar personalities #okay so basically. 👏 today we learned that we had the /exact same/ traumatic experience in high school /almost around the same time/#and not only that!!! the people who caused it were the same people who were in our childhood 4 person friend group!! (we split 2-2 in hs)#now before you get worried: I’m not about to traumadump and we’re both in better wiser healthier places now #but imagine that!!!#the same exact experiences down to a T. and neither of us shared it until now #we weren’t ready to at the time and we’re not exactly the most open with our feelings #plus. different schools different lives not seeing each other every day yada yada #but with the clarity of hindsight and both of us being adults now we were ready!!! 👏👏#we had a convo in the car that naturally led into us letting it all out #and shit man. it’s not the trauma olympics here but. I thought the aftermath of what I went through was bad #venting it out was awesome for both of us and we had a lot of good laughs over it #but my friend…she went through some awful stuff #really hard stuff.#it broke my heart honestly bc she’s an amazing person and she didn’t deserve any of it #I made sure she knew that. she made sure /I/ knew that.#we were both hurt and betrayed in the same ways. but we also learned from it in the same ways. and now it’s something we share #we both wished that we could’ve had this convo years earlier #but I know that it wouldn’t have happened in the same way bc we weren’t at our current levels of maturity back then #I believe we were meant to have this convo /today/ and now we’re both better for it #that’s on growing up and having someone to heal with babey!!!! 🥹💖💖💖#if you made it this far thank you!! I appreciate it #I’m just…gonna lay here with my full heart and think about this forever now

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domokunrainbowkinz · 1 year ago

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Tried a new art style and I guess will is gonna be my guinea pig from now on 🥹

#my art #dark rise #dark heir #will kempen #anyways I wasn’t gonna draw today bc my arm hurt but this random procreate tutorial popped up on my YouTube algorithm #I meant to just do a quick doodle to like try it out cuz I thought the technique she used was interesting #long story short I started coughing blood and my elbow cracks every time I move it #defs something I wanna practice tho I’m sure I can tweak it to something I like #also I’m sorry he looks like a kpop boy in this. it was not on purpose #everything I touch ends up looking like anime or kpop those are my only 2 modes #I wanna learn how to paint good!!!!! aaaaaaaaaah #debating if I should even post this but I spent like #3 hrs fucking around to make this LOL #so unfortunately yall will be forced to look at it

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danothan · 8 months ago

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coming to terms w the fact that i might have to be a fake hal fan forever

#look man i tried #if i had a nickel for every time doing my hal research/reading has triggered me i’d have 2 nickels #which is by far 10 cents too many #and i just learned another thing that’s making my brain form a scab around the thought to repress it like. cmon now #i’ve never had such a unique relationship w any media before it’s like GL as a title specifically is out to get me #forever grateful to the character for teaching me abt myself and giving me breakthrus my past therapists could only dream of #but i think i’m gonna take it easy w him #if i portray him ooc just know i tried my best #danbles

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casualhedonists · 10 months ago

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my friend keeps reposting taylor swift hate and i’m like. girl it’s fine you don’t like her but the way you’re always posting about it irks me

#tell me if i’m alone in this but. it’s just weird to me #as an example here’s this #like i’m not a sports girly myself #but as i gonna go traipse around the internet saying football sucks?? no? bc i have better uses of my time #am*#like last time i saw this same friend we were hanging out at her house and we were watching f1 bc she loves f1 #i don’t care for f1 but i also didn’t throw a hissy fit i was like. oh fun a new learning opportunity #and i’m not gonna go on an internet rampage about how i feel kinda meh about sports #bc. i just have much better things to do with my time??#also it’s just not that deep #i love my friend don’t get me wrong but. sometimes this one thing grates on me #if you don’t like something or you’re indifferent to it? fine but why make it this massive deal?? also every time i mention taylor she goes #oh yeah i’m not a fan kinda hate her and her music #EVERY time. like. it’s not necessary #just a hint of altruism. patience. tolerance. it doesn’t hurt #｡･:*˚:✧｡ mimi speaks!#starting to think i need a vent tag atp

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laughinglynx · 17 days ago

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#I’m just done with trying to deal with people.#like what is the actual point of trying to learn how to communicate better #when every time I try to express that something is Wrong #it gets turned around on me and I spend the next however long groveling and apologizing #life lesson learned: I am somehow uniquely selfish and anything I do to try to express myself hurts people #and no matter what anyone else has done they’re guaranteed to have something I did worse on hand #or will have some way to turn it around so I need to make them feel better #I’m just done.#like what is the actual point of socializing and communicating and any of that shit.#if I am only ever allowed to express positive emotions #and I know like three people are gonna see this and immediately accuse me of not communicating that I’m upset with them #like what do you want me to do.#what would be the point of saying anything.#does it make other people feel better to argue?#idk maybe it works if you’re always the person who is ‘right’#but it sucks ass if you’re always the person that is ‘wrong’#(argument/discussion of emotions/whatever the fuck you want to call it)#I’m done. I’m just too tired for this shit.#I grew up with this shit coming from my mother I know it’s pointless to even try #I hoped it wouldn’t happen with my friends but fuck me I guess

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theres-whump-in-that-nebula · 10 months ago

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Nothing pisses me off more than when people talk about my friendships with mid-support needs autistics and other people with differently-wired brains as if I am descending to help them because I’ve taken them on as a charity case. That is NOT true. Oh they’re a burden because they’re neurodivergent? WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT: SO AM I! THE REASON I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS WITH SO MUCH SHIT WRONG WITH THEM IS BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT WRONG WITH ME. WE ATTRACT EACH OTHER! WE LIKE EACH OTHER! IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND!

#How about I just start strangling ableists from now on?#Would THAT convince them I’m actually this person’s real friend?#Literally nothing I say to them is able to get through their dense fucking skulls—#as if it’s sooooo hard for them to believe I actually enjoy their company #Also (halfway unrelated): if I hear “It takes a special person to work with special children” one more time I am going to SCREAM #Tell me I’m calm; tell me I’m patient; tell me I’m creative— do NOT tell me I’m “special” for doing a job I LOVE #Can you imagine telling a quantum physics major “It takes a special person to solve special math problems?”#😂💀 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m gonna start saying that to people from other professions. To see how they like it.#The children are not a burden to me; the children are very enjoyable to be around #and I enjoy troubleshooting what is preventing them from learning and coming up with workarounds for them #I made a glued roll of paper for a kid who constantly peels their skin because I saw them peeling crayons #It works!#I made math problems into a Skibidi Toilet role playing game for another kid who hides under tables when it’s time to work. It works!#You know why I was able to come up with either of these inventions? Huh? You wanna fucking know?#1.) I peel my lips and mouth and palms of my hands and calluses and cuticles and scabs; and #2.) I have awful executive dysfunction and have to do weird stuff to engage myself #People talk to me like I’m one of the “normal” ones; little do they know I’m getting assessed for ADHD and score 142 on the RAADS-R #and I essentially self-destruct when I get mad so I don’t break valuable items or punch through drywall and oak doors #I give myself bruises that swell a half inch high and form hematomas under the skin #I think I’ve permanently weakened the blood vessels and a vein in my right thigh from beating it so much #because it only takes one well-placed blow on my right; but several blows to my left #And I can see the bruise pooling towards my heart along the path of that vein from day to day after the initial beating #and sometimes it just randomly aches when it’s not injured; so I have to shift my weight when the kids sit in my lap wrong #so with that and something else I did to it not super recently that I should have gone to urgent care for… I probably have nerve damage lol #so it’s gross when people say such things about other NDs to me as if I am above them #Just fuck off already

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goldensunset · 3 months ago

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so we back in the mines (mistralton cave)

#goldie plays pokémon black… 2!!!#finally found an axew with mold breaker #bc i was dumb the first time and left with the first one i saw #like ‘there’s no way to know what ability it’ll have until i check it at the pc but it’ll probably be good!’#i leave and check the pc and of course it’s rivalry instead #go all the way back through route 6 and get into the cave again #stumble around blindly in the dark bc i don’t have flash on any of my mons and i’m not wasting a move slot for it #didn’t bother getting an hm slave #also strength. i have only cleared half the boulders from the last time i was there #same deal i wasn’t gonna teach anyone that move #and then on top of that idk why the encounter rate in there has been so low today #i’m talking like having to walk for ten seconds before getting a single encounter on average #normally that would be a blessing but whew. when i WANT an encounter. smh #found another one and was like hm ok i learned my lesson i’m gonna get a few before i leave bc surely one of them will have mold breaker #right?#found a third one and then it happened. ‘the wild axew breaks the mold!’ on screen #and it occurred to me. ah yes. mold breaker is one of those abilities that is publicly announced whenever the pokémon enters battle #aka i should’ve Known the first two didn’t have it #dumb of me #ah well all’s well that ends well i found one plus she’s a girl so that’s epic and she’s slightly higher leveled than the others #her name is riju

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selchwife · 11 months ago

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in 49 days i am going to be 27 which is so fucked up to me. the silly part is that i start thinking like “once im 30 im not The Younger Man anymore with emet it’s just normal” (as if like. an age gap between adults really matters much. you know what i mean though) like i only have a limited time left to milk the mild air of scandal for all it’s worth

#even odder is recently ive had a hard time remembering i’m not 23 #for whatever reason my brain is just stuck there #i’m fairly certain it’s some weird new dissociative symptom i just have to learn to accept #but it’s gonna be baffling for me once im actually 27 #anyway [lestat absurdity voice] somewhere around 47-50 and 25-29 is fun and scandalous but once you hit 30 it’s BORING #but of course i will love him even when our age gap is no longer moderately salacious

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non4ry · 2 years ago

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just two partners relaxing after a mission <3

#resident evil #ashley graham #manuela hidalgo #ashuela #re4 #the darkside chronicles #okay i’m going to infodump about the fanfic/au of them i’ve got in my head so people understand #this is set in the og 4 timeline btw.. i had agent!ashley first capcom 💥💥#anyways after re4 Ashley decides that she wants to become an agent #because she wants to feel like leon’s equal (she really admires him and looks up to him and has a complex about it basically but it’s not #weird like it is in canon vs ashley just being very traumatized and developing a personality disorder bc of her trauma lmao)#other than that I think she doesn’t ever want to feel like she’s helpless again and she doesn’t want other people to feel that way either #she has good intentions but is still in denial about how corrupt the government is (but she is very much starting to learn bc her father is #a total POS and she’s gonna realize how little he actually cares about her pretty quickly)#re4r made her a little too patriotic for me but that’s beside the point #Manuela is also an agent who was training around the same time as Ashley but her role is much different due to her BOW status #she’s also been in american gov custody since she was 15 and she does Not like them #I’m still going back and forth with how I write Manuela but she knows how expendable she is and knows they only keep her so she doesn’t get #traded off in the BOW black market and become of use to someone dangerous to the gov #there is a lot more about the progression of their relationship and their dynamic as a partner team but i’ll save it for the fic #unrelated to the plot AS FOR THEIR DESIGNS. i realized too little too late how DMC looking ashley is 😭 but it’s fine #I based her design off of her 3.5 design and my own personal spins #manuela’s outfit is much less elaborate because . she doesn’t want it to. catch on fire . LMAO.#I want to give her more outfits for Off the job scenes and really elaborate on the sense of style she develops when she’s on her own #also LET HER HAVE BURN SCARS?? I know that because she’s a BOW she would probably. heal much faster and her body would regenerate #but that’s lame so she gets to have at least Some scarring. capcom writing be damned #oh also this isn’t relevant to their overall stories either but they are both so autistic .. manuela listens to music to decompress #and calm down after stressful missions and she also hums/sings as a stim okay thank you that’s all

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mars-ipan · 3 months ago

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it’s weird being in recovery after like 2 months of sickness and looking forward to being able to do all the little things you used to take for granted again