#idk what some of them really do outside of defenders and the other straight forward classes

[tariah23]

Was getting my ass kicked in Arknights as usual

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get  the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice? 

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other. 

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D 

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC? 

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round? 

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment? 

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u 

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and  buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him 

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4? 

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though- 

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships? 

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove? 

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends? 

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ ��Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love. 

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :] 

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end... 

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck 

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him? 

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!! 

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game? 

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance? 

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games! 

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3 

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021 

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it! 

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game? 

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running? 

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch? 

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS? 

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower. 

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥) 

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1 

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing) 

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

[ivyglow]

ABOUT NOLAN PATRICK AND SLURS

As someone who's always talking about the issues trailing hockey culture, I feel like pointing some things out, considering this is about acknowledging issues and actively working on them.

After speaking up on the Vince Dunn issue it came to my knowledge that Nolan Patrick also used slurs on Twitter during the same time Vince did, and since we don't use two sets of standards here I couldn't simply ignore it.

As human beings, we grow up in a society that bases itself on forces like racism, homophobia, a set of other equally problematic issues, that means with fourteen to fifteen years old you may not know the implications of a slur in a whole oppressive system, but you do know the slur is wrong! You can't tell me that a fourteen years old was too young or too innocent because at fourteen years old I was months away from traveling all alone to a different country to study, at fourteen years old as a poc I do remember how it hurt to see people using slurs, I was well aware because I was at the receiving side of that violence, we cannot pretend as if age excused us of answering for what we did/said. Age does influence our understandings, yes, but it does not excuse you, you do know it is wrong, you may not be well aware of the bigger picture or educated enough, but you know it's not right.

What we have to consider while thinking about those players' backgrounds? Most of them are white, male, and rich, which means the chances they were exposed to social debates like racism, homophobia, etc are very low, but when they become a public figure, they are now dealing with the bigger picture, and not educating themselves on important topics is a choice. Not speaking up on issues that are constant in their leagues is also a choice, but choosing to do it when there is old stuff about you being brought up is even more problematic. How can we be sure you changed if you choose to sweep the dirt under the rug?!

The second thing I want you to consider is that at age fourteen/fifteen these guys were already playing hockey in a minor league that is also very violent when it comes to homophobia, racism, and social issues. They are part of hockey culture, a culture that has been building itself since a long time ago, and it still in the building process when we choose not to acknowledge this stuff. And I'm well aware that the way we openly debate things nowadays is different than how we used to do five years ago, but we still hurt people in this process and we need to recognize this and speak about it in order to change. If we keep choosing to ignore what happened and "move forward" we'll never really move.

The environment these guys grow up in is problematic and they shape the stuff they said/thought while young, but what are they openly doing nowadays out of that environment?? are they really out of it??

Vince Dunn not only tweeted slurs when he was sixteen, but he also used the N-word during a live stream and proceeded to pretend as if he didn't, and he chose not to speak up on racial issues until he was pressured to. Everything coming up about Vince is proof that he hasn't really changed -at least not how people thought he did, while in Nolan's case there's nothing and this non-existence is a problem as well because it brings uncertainty, therefore you can't neither defend nor accuse him, but you can recognize that what he did was still wrong. His friends using it around shows that it wasn't a one-time thing, that it was a common vocabulary and this common vocabulary harmed idk-how-many queer people inside and outside his bubble.

While you may think this is calling someone homophobic based on an old tweet, this isn't! This is about pointing an issue and seeing the way it reflects on hockey culture nowadays. This is about recognizing our roles in oppression systems and working to change them. I'm not walking along with canceling culture, but I think people need to be held accountable for what they do (this goes from Vince to favs like Nolan). As Robin would say the key to moving forward is what we do with our discomfort.

That being said, me >>>melinda<<< as a bisexual woc am not comfortable talking about Nolan like I used to, I won't be writing about him anymore. I'm still comprehending the whole thing, but this just turned me off.

We can choose to discuss this openly and agree that white supremacy/straight cis structures are violent and use this debate as a door to change not only hockey culture but also the culture of our little bubble, or we can choose to sweep the dirt under the rug -as we always do, and the NHL does- and keep watching these aggressions making the league and this community even less safe and more harm to bipoc/queer.

You can see about the Vince issue here and here

[itsallyscorner]

Hey Ally idk if you are taking requests at the moment but if you are could you write something really fluffy with either Sebastian or Bucky! I am just not having a good time right now and would really appreciate anything you got! If you need a more specific idea i can come up with one just let me know and obviously no rush ♥️

Hiya hun! I hope this brightens your day/night and gets your spirits up💛 Sending all my love and good energy to you, happy reading!

💌.

Flowers and Nutella

Your body felt as if it were glued to the bed. The warm covers you’ve been wrapped in all night brought you comfort and served as a protection from the cold of the harsh world. Today had been one of those days. You know those days, the ones where you wake up and it seems like the world is out to ruin you. You didn’t want to get out of bed because it was like you were dreading of going through with the day.

The past week had been difficult. A failed mission; false leads that ended up being a mouse trap. You were put in charge of Peter, it had been one of the few Avengers mission he was allowed to come along on. You lot were supposed to collect data about an ex SHIELD agent selling alien weapons to different buyers, including Hydra members. The whole thing turned out to be a trapped, long story short, it ended up with Peter getting shot in the shoulder by one of the weapons. Thankfully, Banner and Dr.Cho knew how to patch it up so he was safe, back to the energetic bright eyed puppy he was.

The week had just been hard to get through completely. The affects of those events had finally taken its toll on you and decided to pile up on you during this gloomy morning. You didn’t plan on leaving your room. All you wanted was to watch things on Netflix, eat, and just stay in your safe haven. Your room.

You had been watching Gossip Girl once again when a knock was heard from your door. You didn’t feel like interacting with anyone so you didn’t answer it. A few minutes pass and the door slowly creeks.

Outside Bucky was dressed in gym shorts and a loose gray shirt. His hair was twisted up in a bun, something he had learned from you and grown to love. It was Saturday and the two of you usually had training sessions together in the morning. When you didn’t respond to your door he grew concerned. Usually you were up and going, bouncing on the balls of your feet as your pony tail swayed side to side.

His head peeks behind your door and the sight in front of him makes him furrow his brows. You were far from ready, barely even close. You were in bed, wrapped in your blankets, eyes heavy as you watched some show on your tv.

“(Y/n)? Doll?” He calls out to you, slowly entering your room. The atmosphere was heavy as he took in the darkness and chilling temperature in your room.

Your hair rustled against your pillow as you move your head to look at him. You squint at him as the light from the window poured into your room. Bucky had pulled open the curtains and turned up the thermostat in your room.

“Buck? Hey, what are you doing here?” You eye his attire and groan.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot we had training today.” You apologized squeezing your eyes shut. It was as if you couldn’t do anything right lately.

Bucky waved you off settling himself beside your legs on your bed. He nudges your thigh with his elbow, “No worries. But are you okay? You never forget our training days and you’re usually bouncing from wall to wall by now.” His soft voice fills your room flowing like honey. You feel a swell in your chest at how comforting his voice was.

“What’s going on, darling?” He looks at you, eyes full of concern as they plead you to tell him what’s wrong. You sigh and push your cheek against your pillow. One of your arms curling underneath the cushion while the other gripped to your blanket.

You shrug the shadow of a smile on your chapped lips, “I don’t know. Just don’t feel up for anything today. I just want to lay here and rest.”

Bucky sends you a comforting smile as his large hand comes to rub the small of your back, “It’s alright, sometimes we need breaks from the outside world.”

A small smile forms on your lips, though it didn’t bring that crinkle by your eyes, a sign that you were genuinely happy.

He looks around before his sparkling blue eyes come to land on you again. “D’ya need anything before I head to the gym?”

You hum shaking your head, “Nope, thank you though.”

Bucky nods and claps his hands against his thigh. Getting up and leans forwards to poke your nose, “Alright. Give me a call if you need anything, I’ll be here.” You let out a simple, “mmk” as he turns to leave your room.

The door shuts behind him as he presses his back onto it. Screw the gym, he thought to himself. You were clearly upset and there was a voice in his head telling him to go fix it. You probably didn’t want him prodding in on your rest day but he just wanted to see a smile on your face.

His long legs take him to the kitchen where Wanda, Nat, and Sam were. “Ladies.” He greets them, nodding his head. A silent look was sent to him by Nat, probably because she hadn’t had her coffee yet. Wanda sends him a smile as she uses her powers to cook multiple dishes for breakfast.

“Sam.” He greets his friend who responds to him with a grunt. Bucky shoves himself to a stool at the counter as he tries to come up of ways to cheer you up.

Wanda glances at him, “I don’t think she would enjoy a picnic outside, she likes to stay in her room when she wants a break.”

Bucky’s eyes move from the marbled counters to the back of Wanda’s auburn hair. “Well what do you think she would like right now? I walked in and and she just looked so out of it.”

Natasha sighed as he inhaled the rich smell of coffee, “Barnes just leave her alone, she’s had a rough week, let her get some rest.”

Bucky grumbled a frown on his face, “But she looked so sad, I can’t just leave her like that.”

The elevator dings as the doors slide open. All heads turn towards the hall as they see Peter come out from the elevator. His backpack was slung over his shoulder as greeted all of them with a boyish grin.

“Hey guys!” A round of “mornings” is heard amongst the group as Peter enters the kitchen. He looks over Wanda’s shoulder as his hand reaches under her arm to grab a piece of bacon.

The witch rolls her eyes as she swats his back, “You could’ve burned your fingers, Pete.” She scolded him motherly.

“I’m fine, what’s up guys?” Peter answers with the strip of bacon hanging from his mouth. He places his backpack on the floor and joins the others at the counter. Bucky glances at the boy. Maybe he would know a way to cheer you up. The both of you had been hanging out together a lot since you were his mentor, besides Tony, of course.

“Parker, what’s something that’ll get (y/n) to cheer up?” The boy perks up at your name.

“Flowers and a jar of Nutella.” He answers almost immediately, a proud grin on his face. His quick answer earned him some looks from his older team mates.

“How would you know that, Parker?” Nat asks him, sitting in the stool beside him. Peter fiddles with his fingers as he adjusts himself in his seat. His mouth opens to answer but Sam interrupts him.

“Someone gotta crush on (y/n)?” Sam teases the teenager. Peter’s eyes widen as his cheeks turn rosy, a clutter of stutters coming out his out.

“N-No! I mean— she’s pretty, really pretty. Beautiful in fact, but no, I don’t—I don’t have a crush on Ms. (y/n).” He manages to defend himself. A poor attempt of a defense in Sam’s opinion. Sam shakes his head at the boy, “Buck, looks like you’ve got competition.”

Peter’s eyes almost fall out their sockets at the mention of Bucky. The boy stares at the metal arm that could choke and kill him in an instant. “No! You don’t have any competition Mr. Barnes, sir, I swear.”

Nat smirks from beside him as Wanda chimes from behind them, “I could read minds, Peter!” She sang.

“How do you even know she likes flowers and Nutella?” Natasha asks him.

“Um—I asked her to go to prom with me, remember? She said she’ll only go with me if I buy her flowers and a jar of Nutella.” Peter answers. Bucky was up at his feet at an instant, patting his shorts for his wallet. When he felt the bulky object he glanced at the elevator. Walking behind Peter, he pats the boy’s back with his metal hand. Peter jumps almost yelping in his seat.

“Thanks, Parker.” Bucky chuckles then walks to the elevator.

He takes a train to get around the city. He ends up at the nearest retail store, looking through the shelves for Nutella and other things you might like. Once he had two bags full of treats and gifts he approaches the man outside the store who had a cart full of flowers. He didn’t know if you had a preference, but he chose the brightest out of the bunch. To him it represented your personality and the effect you had on his life.

He rushes back to the compound, bags in each hand and a bouquet of flowers under each arm. The sight of him might’ve been funny, a large bulky man with arms full of colorful flowers, a teddy bear, and all the cheesy pick me up gifts. He enters the kitchen not bothering to greet the others. Though he stops to take out two spoons from the drawers. Steve looks at him curiously while Sam nods at him in approval.

He heads straight to your room, excited to give you all the gifts he’s gotten you. He knocks on the door with the top of his foot, “I’m coming in!” He struggles to twist the knob of the door but he somehow manages to get it to open.

He slams the door shut with his back and greets you with a wide smile. Your eyes widen at him in shock.

“Surprise!” He yells happily. You feel your lips tug themselves upwards at him. You shuffle around in your bed, moving the blankets out the way.

“What’s all this?” You ask him trying to peer into the bags. He places them on the floor, gesturing for you to sit back.

“Alright, first off, here’s some flowers.” He grins handing you the two colorful bouquets. A giggle erupts from you as you take them from him. You take a whiff of the flowers, the floral smell entering your senses.

He digs through the bag and pulls out a large jar of Nutella. You gasp as Bucky presents it to you with a golden spoon from the kitchen. He hands them to you then bends back down to go through the bag.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted some snacks, so I got some cookies, your favorite chips, crackers, some wine. I didn’t bother getting a cup, just chug the bottle.” He explains placing each item onto your bed.

“I also got you a teddy bear. But they had too many and I didn’t know which one you’d like so I got the bear, a llama, and a dog.” He chuckles bopping your face with the llama’s snout. You laugh as you try to hold all of them in your arms.

“Oh yeah, and here’s some candy.” He places at least five boxes of different kinds of candy onto your lap. You look at him in awe, the joy bursting in your chest at his lovely gesture. The happiness soon became too much and your eyes began to water. The proud smile on Bucky’s face falters, his shoulders slumping. He crouches in front of you, hands beside your legs.

“No! Doll, what’s wrong? Was it the candy? Do you not like skittles? Or is it the Hershey’s kisses? I could take them back! Do you not like the llama?” Questions began to roll off his tongue as he stared up at you. His thumbs came up to wipe stray tear from your face. A laugh bubbles from your chest, your free hand gripping onto his wrist.

“No, Bucky, this is just—no one’s really done this for me before. Thank you.” You smile at him through your tears. “Thank you, I really really appreciate it. You didn’t have to do all of this honestly.” You sniffled fiddling with the plush llama’s fur.

“It’s fine doll, honestly. Anything to see that smile on your face.” He grins up at you, happy with himself that he got to bring the smile that formed crinkles to the side of your eyes. You giggle once again and place all the gifts on your bed, you leans towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding your face into his neck. Bucky sighs in content, his metal hand coming up to stroke circles onto your back.

“Thank you, Buck.” You whisper against the skin of his neck. Bucky presses a kiss to your temple, “Anytime darling.”

You pull away and organize the things on your bed. You sit against the headboard did your bed and motion for him to join you.

“I’m gonna need help eating all of this.” You tease him. He settles beside you, arm around your shoulder. He reaches for a pack of Reese’s and rips it open with his teeth.

“Well good thing I’m a super soldier.” He chuckles tuning into the movie on your tv. You get curious and look at him.

“How did you know about the flowers and Nutella though?” You question him with a raised brow.

“Spider-boy.” He answers mouth full of the peanut butter cups. You laugh and lean back into his arm. You reach for the jar of Nutella and twist it open, pealing of the gold seal. Your spoon dips into the chocolate, breaking the smooth surface.

Bucky glances at you, “Feelin’ better?”

The spoon hangs from the corner of your mouth, savoring the delicious spread, “Much better.”

[n7punk]

idk if this is a spoiler/ a dumb question but would catra be promoted as a captain just like adora?

It’s neither! Honestly, this is a good opportunity for me to explicitly lay out the Horde’s structure, because the important/relevant parts of it can be inferred throughout the fic, but a lot of it likely won’t be explicitly stated. I’ll get to the question at the very end.

The Horde is based on how we see it in the show, but also inspired by the mafia in its structure. I’m not trying to recreate the mob, but rather adapt it based on the canon I’m writing fic of. I am not going to get into issues like drugs and trafficking, so there have been some purposeful changes. Hordak is the boss and Shadow Weaver is his second.

The term second means “second in charge” in this case. A second’s duties are determined by who their boss is. Catra is Adora’s second, so she is a second captain, whereas Shadow Weaver is the second boss. Seconds help lighten the load on their boss/captain/etc, might be a required go-between for anyone beneath them in rank and their boss, and usually either inherit their captain’s position (when they die, move up, get arrested, etc) or prove themself as a second until they are promoted to being the captain of their own unit.

In the Horde, the same title is used for a lot of positions to be purposefully confusing to outsiders. Cadets are the lowest level of any branch that are members of the Horde (associates are non-Horde members that they work with, and generally where most people start out), but their job and cut of the take range depending on what branch they’re in.

The Horde has three main branches: heists, gambling, and enforcers. The first two are how they make the majority of their money, and the third is how they collect protection fees and defend their territory. The whole protection thing is... messy, and getting into spoilers, so I’ll leave that alone for now. Any other areas/jobs fall to a captain at the upper-levels to handle, maybe by themselves or with a team dedicated to the purpose beneath them.

Adora is a captain, meaning she is in charge of others, but there are many levels of captainhood. There is a branch captain (with their own second) in charge of all the heist teams that the teams’ captains normally report to, but as Shadow Weaver’s protege, Adora reports directly to her and sometimes is part of the upper-level captain meetings. Catra has some expanded privileges as Adora’s second, but not the same respect that Adora has now she is captain. She actually has less privileges than your average heist team second due to her position as Shadow Weaver’s other protege (there is a reason I said Adora was raised at her right hand and Catra at her left. Shadow Weaver has different purposes lined up for both of them).

The heist teams have a pretty straight forward layout. Cadets are the members of the teams, the team coordinator is the captain, and their second helps coordinate, plan, and lead if they become incapacitated in the field. All the captains report to the branch captain. The other two branches have more layers that aren’t really relevant to the fic. It’s all a pyramid structure is the summary, with Hordak at the top and Shadow Weaver right below him. The higher up you go, the more of the take you get to keep, and the more you get kicked up to you from lower levels. Those who pull in more money have more weight. Those who make less defer to them.

I also mention street kids - unlike the show, the Horde isn’t built on orphans. Most people come to work for the Horde either because their family is in it or because they’re desperate for money/protection and the Horde offers it. However, they do have a bunkroom where they house street kids they have “taken in” to indoctrinate into the organization. These kids usually go far in the organization because they are very loyal, knowing no other way of life. They are kicked out of the bunk hall once they are making enough money to have anything left over after paying their percentage (or their minimum if their percentage isn’t enough) but Adora and Catra are once again exceptions as Shadow Weaver’s proteges.

That’s pretty much all I have to say on it that isn’t spoilers! Catra could become captain through a variety of means. I don’t think it’s a spoiler, given the fic description, to say that she will become captain of Adora’s team while she is undercover and unable to lead it.

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

dance

Written for Day 4 of @aangweek! Read here on AO3.

~*~

4. dance - if you hit a wall, climb over it, crawl under it, or dance on top of it

What year did Fire Lord Sozin battle the Air Nation army?

The Air Nation army.

What army? The ashen remains of bones that littered the Air Temples? The memories of a past erased and rewritten by the conquerors? The whispers and cries of voices drowned out by roaring flames? That army?

Aang shuddered, pulling his knees to his chest. Was that how his people were remembered? As part of a history reformatted and reworked? As aggressors instead of defenders? As casualties, no, as soldiers instead of victims? Was that how the world had chosen to immortalize his people?

Aang sighed, releasing his legs before slowly pushing himself into a sitting position. He wouldn’t be falling asleep anytime soon. And besides - he could see the sun inching upwards over the horizon. Daybreak had almost arrived, which meant it was only a matter of time before everyone woke up and they continued travelling. There was no point in him trying to catch an extra hour of shut-eye.

Maybe he could meditate for a bit. While he waited for morning to come. It could help him clear his mind, he supposed, of… of those more painful memories. Of false knowledge force-fed down his throat.

But as Aang stood to find an open place for meditation, he was distracted by the presence of Sokka. His friend was already awake, hunched over and scribbling away at his lengthy schedule.

“We can shorten our stay here,” Sokka muttered, “and taking this route shaves two hours off our total travel time if we only take one break instead of two -” He stopped when Aang joined him, the airbender plopping down on a patch of grass. “Good morning?” He paused. “Uh… What are you doing up so early?”

Aang gave his friend an amused smile, folding his legs criss-cross. Considering he himself was usually the first one up, Aang couldn’t help but find Sokka’s question rather hilarious. “I was going to ask you the same thing.”

Sokka shrugged. “Just trying to rework our schedule. I have to take in account the extra days we stayed in that cave if we want to arrive at the meet-up point for the eclipse invasion on time.”

Aang flinched at the reminder. Of the upcoming eclipse or the additional days he’d encouraged his friends to stay in the city, he wasn’t sure. When Sokka glanced at him, Aang looked away. Down at his feet. “Right. Yeah. I guess we do need to make up for that… lost time.”

Sokka raised an eyebrow, at first not commenting. He rolled up his schedule and placed it aside. “So, why again did you say you were up so early?”

Aang hadn’t.

He sighed, leaning backwards to stare up at the arrival of dawn and bracing himself with his palms. Clouds of orange and red and yellow burned before Aang. Hues not dissimilar to fire. “Dreams.” Memories.

Sokka nodded. “Nightmares?”

“Kind of.”

“Want to talk about them?”

The Air Nomads didn’t have a formal military.

Aang shook his head. “Not really.”

Sokka nodded. “That’s okay. You don’t have to.” He tucked the group’s schedule into his bag. “Want to talk about something else?”

Aang didn’t answer immediately. Stuck on some twisted loop, his mind traced over and over and over the surprise, the shock, the disbelief of every kid’s face in the cave as he’d danced before them. They, too, had been robbed of their childhood. Not in the same way, no. Not at the same price. But it had been stolen from them all the same.

“Do you think I helped them?” Aang finally whispered. His fingers dug into the dirt beneath his palms, collecting behind his nails. “The Fire Nation kids, I mean.” He sat up straight again, this time making eye contact with his friend. “Toph told me I helped them to be free.” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “Do you… Do you think she was right?”

Sokka raised an eyebrow. “Uh, what are you talking about?” Aang opened his mouth to explain, but Sokka continued before he could get a word out. “Of course she was right.”

Aang’s voice disappeared into his chest for a full ten seconds before resurfacing. “She was? But it was just a dance par-”

“It wasn’t ‘just’ a dance party, Aang,” Sokka interrupted, giving him a wry smile after his use of dramatic finger quotes. “You gave those kids their first moment of independent thought. I know I called them ‘depraved little monsters’” - Aang snorted at the reminder - “and while I don’t think I was too far off with that assessment, I’ve come to the conclusion that…” Sokka pursed his lips. “Well. Deprived might be a better word.”

Deprived.

Yes, that was fitting.

“I still can’t believe they didn’t know how to dance,” Aang said after a pause. “A hundred years ago, the Fire Nation was - was the place to be for dancing!” He learned everything he knew from Kuzon, after all. “And now…” Aang sighed. “Sure, I gave them a taste of fun, but they’re all going to be punished for it.” If they hadn’t been already. “Was that - Was it even worth it for them?”

“I think it was,” Sokka answered, a thoughtful expression crossing his features. “Like I said - it wasn’t just a dance party.” A beat passed, and he winked at Aang as he held a finger over his lips. “It was a secret dance party.”

Aang laughed. “What are you talking ab-”

“You taught them to challenge authority!” Sokka continued, throwing his hands in the air. “You taught them that sometimes, to learn the real truth, you have to think outside the box and track down other sources.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Aang, you showed them that adults can be wrong. That people in power are not infallible.” Sokka grinned at him. “So you didn’t just teach them to be free. You taught them how to find their own freedom, too. And in a brainwashed, messed-up country like the Fire Nation?” He snorted. “Spirits know they need that.”

Brainwashed… Not an inaccurate term to describe the misinformation - the lies - Aang knew their country had built its new foundation on.

“Thanks, Sokka,” Aang said, giving his friend a soft smile as tension eased from his shoulders. Maybe it was a good thing, then, that he’d stayed those extra days in the cave. Those kids were the future of the Fire Nation. Change would have to start with them.

“You’re welcome, buddy.”

Aang bit his lip. A beat passed. “Can I ask you another question?”

“I mean, you technically just did - kidding, I’m kidding,” Sokka amended as Aang rolled his eyes. “None of you have a sense of humor.”

“Sokka, you know I think you’re the funniest guy in the four nations.”

“And you would be right!” They both laughed, and Sokka continued once their snickering had died down. “But sure, go ahead. What’s on your mind?”

Aang opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated, out of nowhere finding that it was thrice as difficult for air to enter and exit his lungs. How embarrassing for an - the last - airbender.

Deep breaths. In and out.

Well, I don’t know how you could possibly know more than our national history book.

“What… What were you taught about my people?” Aang found himself staring at the ground, at his feet, at anywhere but Sokka’s eyes. “The Air Nomads?”

“Uh… not much,” Sokka admitted, and Aang grimaced. “We knew Sozin massacred them in an attempt to kill the Avatar, which started the war. Gran Gran told us they were a peaceful people, too, and were all really gifted benders.” He hesitated, giving Aang an apologetic glance. “I’m… sorry I don’t know more.”

Aang’s chest ached with an emptiness he sometimes feared would never be filled. But at least Sokka hadn’t been told -

“You know my people didn’t attack first, though?” His voice faltered, and Aang cleared his throat. “That - That they never wanted to fight?”

Sozin defeated them by ambush.

“Yeah,” Sokka said quietly. “I know.”

He forced down the lump in his throat, and when Sokka moved to pull him into a tight embrace, Aang allowed himself to fall apart in his friend’s arms.

When the sun had risen and his tears had dried, Aang spoke.

“After I defeat Fire Lord Ozai… you’re going to dance with me.”

Sokka raised an eyebrow. “I’m gonna what now?”

“Dance with me.” Aang gave him a small smile. “Come on. Don’t tell me you’re too much of a picken to dance with your best friend.”

Sokka rolled his eyes. “You know what? Sure. Why not. When you defeat Fire Lord Ozai, I’ll dance with you.” He grinned at Aang. “I look forward to it, hotman.”

Aang laughed. “Flameo!”

~*~

i am prepared and willing to throw hands with anyone who says "the headband" ep was pointless filler (it really and truly was not). also, i read something and it said flameo was a curse word, and idk if that's true, but you're welcome to interpret the final line as aang being like "fuck yeah!" if you'd like. thank you for reading, and i hope to see you tomorrow for day 5 - air temples!

[alpacaparkaseok]

Where you should be

Chapter 5: Latibule

Kinda a shorter one today, but the most important thing about today is it’s two people’s birthdays! Shoutout to Kim Taehyung (idk if you guys have heard of him) and @taylorroe3​! 🥳

Genre: Hobi x oc

Warnings: this series contains stalking, blackmail, and similar stressful/fear inducing situations. Also unrequited love, which is perhaps the most terrifying of all.

Word Count: 2.7k

Latibule(n.): a hiding place, a place of comfort and safety

I’ve learned three very important details since exiting the building.

First, the man’s name is Jihun.

Second, Jihun worked for Source Entertainment’s CEO, So Sung-jin. He was his bodyguard.

And lastly, Jihun has since been fired.

Oh, and one bonus fact: he’s not very happy about it.

“-There is nothing worse than coming home to your wife - who’s six months pregnant, by the way - and telling her that your supposed steady job was suddenly bought out by another company. Except for one thing, maybe.” Jihun glares down at me, continuing to walk around the building. “Would you like to know what’s worse?”

I’m sure he can see me swallowing down the lump in my throat as I slowly nod my head. My hands are shaking and numb from the cold, but I refuse to put them in my pockets in case I need to somehow defend myself.

“What’s worse,” Jihun spits out, “is telling her that your job won’t be under fire. Telling her that So Sung-jin will still keep you, because he’s still the CEO, isn’t he? Why wouldn’t he need a bodyguard anymore? Well, I suppose he does. Just one.”

Everything begins to make sense with that statement. “...but before he had-”

“Eight.” Jihun stops, coming to stand in front of me. “Eight full-time bodyguards for him and the other officers of Source. How do you tell the man you’ve been protecting for years that he should fire everyone else except for you? Tell me, how would I go about going behind my friends’ backs like that?”

I blink up at him, taking a small step back and cursing myself when Jihun notices and steps closer. “I- I don’t know-”

Jihun laughs loudly, the sound harsh. “You don’t know? You?” He bends down just enough so we’re eye-level, and I flinch at what I see behind those eyes. “Don’t act innocent with me, Jung Ha-rin. Did Bighit promise you that all the jobs would be secure for those of us left at Source? Or did you not even bother asking when Jung Hoseok flashed his smile-”

“What do you want from me?!” I shout, seeing red. “I didn’t do anything-”

Jihun smirks, straightening back up as though feeling quite pleased with himself. “80% of the little people at Source lost their jobs thanks to you. Source may not have lost their company, but we lost jobs. Bodyguards, caterers, program coordinators, all gone. Source didn’t need all of us anymore, not when Bighit started taking care of them.”

He’s nearly panting now, but there’s a gleam of victory in his eyes. Like he’s got me right where he wants me.

“I...I’m sorry.” I choke out, my heart thumping like a rabbit. “I really am. I had no idea...I didn’t know. I didn’t think about everyone else. But, I don’t understand. What do you want me to do?”

Jihun’s eyes focus on me like a hawk. I’m sure I’m the little hare now, running for my life while he swoops in with his gleaming talons.

“You know what So Sung-jin said to me when I told him that I couldn’t afford to lose my job?” He pauses for a moment, but continues on with spite dripping from his tongue. “He told me to take it up with her. He said that if I needed a job so badly, I should take it up with the girl who started this whole mess.”

Jihun steps back, laughing a little as he looks to the skies. I take a step backward, but he looks back down at me with a snap of his head, silently daring me to try to run.

“It took me so long to find you, Jung Ha-rin. Bang Si-hyuk was smart, he made sure your ‘promotion’ seemed natural. Who in their right mind would buy out an entire company for one little producer? But there was always something about it that confused me. As it turns out, there were a few of us that were a little suspicious. So while we struggled to find new work, we found each other. And we began to look into things a bit more.”

I remember with a start the other two intruders who had left notes at my studio. They must have been other previous employees at Source. It would appear that Jihun found some friends to investigate with him.

“By the time we began to formulate an idea, you had already disappeared. ‘Sunny’ appeared in your place, but we couldn’t find anything to prove our point. That is, until I saw you outside of your apartment.”

Chills run up and down my spine as I remember all those nights I saw Jihun wandering up and down my street like a hound following a scent.

“It was the only good thing that came out of this mess. You see, my wife left me not long ago. I can hardly provide for our small family, turns out fired bodyguards aren’t in high demand. So now if I want to see my daughter, I have to travel to the other side of Seoul. Luckily for me, that’s where you live. Imagine my luck when I saw that you were not only still around, but that you had Jung Hoseok wrapped around your little finger!”

Jihun takes a moment to glance around, making sure we have no unwanted visitors listening in on our conversation. “So what do I want you to do?” He tilts his head, sizing me up. “Fix this. You’ve proven your ability to worm your way into whatever you want; now it’s time for you to think about somebody else for once in your life.”

“But how-”

“Oh, there you are!” Hajoon sticks his head out the door, smiling at me. “Adora’s looking for you. Everything alright?”

Staring at Hajoon with wide eyes, I shake my head as lightly as possible. “Hajoon, would you mind coming out here for a second?”

As Hajoon steps outside, Jihun chuckles. “It was nice catching up with you, Ha-rin. I’ll email the details to you later, ok? Unless you want me to just send off the photos?”

Jihun looks comfortable in his act, but as he tilts his phone to me I understand why. Right there is perhaps the most incriminating photo of all: me clinging to Hoseok as we sit in his car the night Jihun approached us. How he got a photo of us I have no idea, but I have a hunch that one of his little friends might have been present and with a camera handy.

“No!” I shout, Hajoon faltering in his steps as he nears. “I, uh...I’ll take a look at the email first.”

“Sounds great!” Jihun turns on his heel, waving at me over his shoulder. “See you later!”

I watch as he walks away, his back straight and shoulders back. Hajoon comes to stand beside me, utterly oblivious.

“Adora’s on the-”

“Hajoon.”

“Yes?”

I turn to him, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. “I...I need to talk to Bang PD. Now.”

♟

“What do you mean-”

“I mean,” I say through gritted teeth, “that this is worse than we thought! And it’s all my stupid fault!”

Bang Si-hyuk stares up at me from his desk, Hajoon standing just outside the closed door to deter any visitors. As soon as I uttered the words ‘blackmail’ and j-hope, he was quick to invite me in.

“Ha-rin, I need you to sit down and breathe for a second. Can you do that?” I begrudgingly take a seat, staring down at my hands. “Thank you. First off, this is not your fault. If anyone is to take the blame, it should be between So So-jin and I. Not you.”

“But he said-”

“Are you really about to believe what some maniac stalker said to you?” Bang Si-hyuk gives me a look that perfectly explains how crazy he thinks that makes me.

I shrug, fighting the tears that have been threatening to fall for a while now. “I...I just don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Bang PD’s eyes soften for a moment as he takes in my shaken state. “We’ll work through this. I promise. For now, we need to work through this with Hoseok.”

Nearly choking on my spit, I glare up at him. “What? Why? This is about me-”

“And him! He is in those photos as well, Sunny. He’s being exploited too, and he deserves to be aware of the situation.” He leans forward, looking at me with an analyzing stare. “What do you have against Jung Hoseok?”

“...nothing.”

“Good.”

♟

By the time Hobi’s knocking on Bang PD’s door, I feel like I’ve successfully turned into a stone. My neck refuses to move as I hear the door open, my eyes remain trained forward as I offer up a prayer to whoever’s listening.

This is a dream, this is a dream this is-

“Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice,” Mr. Bang says, gesturing for him to take a seat. “How’s it going?”

I can hear the confusion in Hobi’s voice as he takes a seat. “I - great. Things are great. What’s all of this about?”

In my peripheral I can see him looking at me, but I refuse to look at him. The second I do, he’ll see right through me.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed in recent months that Sunny has acquired a bodyguard?”

Hoseok is silent as he processes the information. “Is everything ok?”

If this were a perfect world, I’d be sinking through the floor and disappearing right around now. However, it isn’t, and I’m still stuck here with my cheeks burning red as I dread what’s about to come next.

“We’ve dealt with similar situations in the past, but this time around there are certain factors at play that I must admit we’ve never encountered before. The two of you are close, are you not?”

Our shocked silence answers his question.

“It would appear that a few people with a grudge against Bighit and Sunny have noticed that. Now they are using that information against us.”

Hoseok sits up straight, his gaze jumping between the two of us. “Who? And how? We don’t hardly see each other as is. This is probably just some weird threat, don’t you think?”

Bang PD shakes his head, looking grave. “Sunny, would you mind logging into your email for me?” He motions for me to come around his desk. Rising on shaky legs, it’s a miracle that I’m able to make it over to his side without collapsing.

Hoseok’s gaze is like a hot brand as I log into my email, but I refuse to look at him. Not as the memory of that night in his apartment is playing over and over again in my mind.

Of course all of this had to blow up right as things were finally getting better between us.

“There you go,” I mumble, going back to my seat.

“Hoseok, take a look at this.”

Now it’s Hoseok’s turn to stand beside Bang PD, shuffling past me as he makes his way over to him. I instinctively hold my breath as he leans down to see what’s on the screen.

Hoseok’s eyes shutter as he sees the photos Jihun sent along with the email as a nice little reminder of why I should follow his instructions.

I watch as Hobi shuts down, his worried demeanor slowly turning cold and distant until he strides back to his chair and sits with a determined expression.

“What’s the plan?”

Bang PD leans back in his chair, looking back and forth between the two of us. “Well, first off, I need to know what all of this is about. I understand that photos like these can be misinterpreted, but I can’t help but think that the two of you haven’t been completely honest with me. Is that correct?”

Silence reigns in the office as neither one of us deign to answer him. Bang PD sighs, pulling his phone out and searching for something while we drown in the silence.

My eyes are burning holes into the wooden desk before me, and I wonder for a moment if this is what people standing before the guillotine felt like as they awaited their execution. Bang Si-hyuk sits before us, the unwavering executioner with his list of convictions. As he finds what he was looking for on his phone, I know for a fact that there is nowhere left for me to run. For a year now, I’ve hid everything away. I’ve done it well, I think.

I suppose I could only run for so long.

“Thirteen months ago I received a message from you, Sunny.” Hoseok stiffens beside me as he undoubtedly does the math in his head. We both know what happened thirteen months ago. “You were very worried as you had been spotted with Hoseok. You were quite convincing in asking me to not retaliate against Hoseok, and I didn’t even stop to ask myself why you were so quick to worry about him. You stated, ‘Hoseok is my close friend and has acted as a mentor for me during my time as Bighit. Please do not blame him for his kindness. I understand the terms of my contract, and I still respect them. I do not have feelings for him.’”

The small office has suddenly turned into the unforgiving tundra as Bang PD fixes me with an icy stare. Hoseok remains closed off and cold beside me, although I can see the way his hands have turned into fists against his thighs.

“I need you to realize all that is at stake here, Sunny.” Bang PD looks at me with a hawk’s glare, but I refuse to squirm in my seat like some child. “Were you telling me the truth that night?”

I’m pretty sure Hobi has stopped breathing as he waits to hear my answer. For so long now, I’ve known that I was lying.

For thirteen months, I’ve been living that lie.

I’m so tired.

Were you telling me the truth that night?

For the first time in what feels like ages, I shed the mask I’ve held onto so tightly.

“No.”

Bang PD’s eyes widen. “Am I correct in assuming that at the time of this message, you did indeed harbor feelings for Hoseok?”

So quiet in here. I wonder for a moment if they can hear my heart beating like a hammer. My mouth opens, but no words come out.

“I need an answer, Sunny. If we’re going to make it through this mess, we need to untangle your web of-”

“That’s enough.”

Hoseok’s eyes appear to be aflame as he sits up in his seat, slowly rising until he’s glaring down at Bang Si-hyuk.

“What do you mean-”

“I mean,” Hoseok hisses out, and there I can finally see it. That side of him that I’ve heard people whisper about. “That if you want to get ‘through this mess’, as you so beautifully stated, you don’t need to interrogate people for information you already know. This is a ploy for money and to take down your company, so I’d suggest that you take the necessary action to defend it before it’s too late.”

The frozen tundra has suddenly burst into flames as Hoseok turns to me, a sound that almost sounds like a sigh of relief pushing past his lips as he nods at me. “I think you should head home, it sounds like you’ve had a long day. I’ll have someone bring a car around for you.”

I get up and follow him out, hardly daring to look at him as he holds the door open for me. Band PD sits as his desk in silence as we exit.

Hajoon stands beside the door with a wide-eyed gaze, looking between the two of us as though expecting an explanation.

“Would you please retrieve Ha-rin’s things from her studio and bring them out to my car?”

Hajoon scurries away, and I look up at Hobi to see him slowly starting to calm down. “Your car?” My voice is scratchy as I ask the question, almost sounding like I haven’t spoken in years. 

Hobi’s gaze turns soft as he looks down at me, and I find myself able to breathe easier as I glimpse the kind friend that always showed up with a bag of food at my studio door.

“Can we talk?”

If you liked this chapter, would you consider giving this a like/reblog?

Previous - Next

taglist is open! 

taglist: @taylorroe3​ @dreamcatcherjiah @diorhoba @eusticenatalie @ddaeng-i-need-help

[icharchivist]

I have finished winter troupe debut episode! It was very dramatic lmao. Was enjoyable though. Winter troupe all had very interesting characters and It's nice to see a troupe that is all adults.

Since I complained about spring troupe issues being solved by not talking about it. I have to talk about how winter troupes issues were solved by literal outside forces trapping them or letting them read peoples minds.

I'm guessing they did this because unlike the teens who are more willing to be open about themselves and pester others,,,, adults are a lot less likely. (Before winter the adults were, sakyo, and itaru? cause the uni students aren't really adults yet. sakyo opens up to Izumi because he knows and trusts her. Itaru. Hasn't really opened up yet but he's getting there.) Whereas winter troupe is a group of strangers and the two who know each other literally are in the middle of massive misunderstanding/fight?/idk mutual disappointment.

(Also misumi just getting trapped in random time loops???? Holy shit is he ok???? Like he was able to figure it was tsumugi and tasuku this time but what if he doesn't know the people? I have so many questions)

Ok rant over. I have accepted that magic exists in a3 and all it wants is for people to get along and understand each other. But yeah once I crawl through the events and next act I have to rewatch spring hahaha. I definitely wasn't fair to them.

Homare oh my god. Just. Holds gently. I want to protect him. No one deserves to be called a broken cyborg :(

Gahhh all of winter troupe I just want to protect.

Also I saw fuyupoly is a thing? Because I'm excited to see the troupe develop more.

(you said you had a Google drive of the inbetween acts events :eyes: should I message you or something?)

tHEY’RE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.....

And yeah tbh when you talked about Spring having communication problems my first thought was “oh BOY you haven’t seen Winter yet” DLKFJDLFKJDFLKJDFLK

I. think about Winter much more than i should but yeah, pretty much it’s the fact they’re adults and strangers and just. are extremely conflict avoidant, all of them, for various reasons. Tsumugi because of his crushed confidence, Tasuku because he struggles to convey his feelings and he lost Tsumugi in the past, Hisoka because he litterally has no past and it freaks him out (Homare was spot on when he said Hisoka knew he couldn’t defend himself), Homare because he’s scared he’ll mess up again, and Azuma because he spent his life keeping people at armlength.  They’re all adult and agreeable people, and they are also all pretty understanding in some way, so they let some conflict pass by hoping it will be over soon. Some of them like Tsumugi, Azuma and Homare are also pretty analytic of people on a psychological way so they can try to navigate with what they know. 

But in the end without communication it’s not going very far, but they don’t really know how to do it when all of them are adults who have got used to it. 

so yeah, like you said it’s really that they’re adults and that unlike the youngest ones i think it’s just. they’re all used to compromise and compromise a part of themselves as well. 

but yeah the magic being the thing solving it cracks me up all the time i’m just. Like. okay. Okay cool okay. Normal. Like. Thematically wise i think it’s because Winter is a season that’s so cold and sad but there’s a bit of magic in it (like the magic of christmas) and i think that’s what it is meant to echo but that’s. so out of the blue DLKFJDKLFJDLKFJLDF that said once that just accepted i really love the way the three magical events reflects the characters (Tasuku and Tsumugi needed to reconnect and find back the comfort they had with one another and plushies are considered comfort items that helps transition into a safer place, it’s also linked to childhood and those two are childhood friends. Homare and the loupe are pretty straight forward, he needed to see closer, deeper. Azuma and Hisoka both were locked into a room, isolated, just like their past (or in Hisoka’s case what his flashbacks implies) make them feel isolated, having experienced loss).). I am FASCINATED with Winter. i just. akjhfkdhfkdjfmldjfmd?? sljhfjldk.

but aah i’m glad you enjoyed the ride so much i’m so happy!!

and god yeah please someone check on Misumi i worry for him wtf

and Homare’s arc yeah!! yeah!!! his arc is one of my fav arc i just. really love how it all plays out. It’s really rare to see a story goes “here’s a character with low empathy: and he’s the most loving and kind character you can imagine”. The way he struggles from it, how sad it makes him, this way to see himself, everything makes me want to cry for hours. I want to hold him so bad.

Fuyupoly is definitly a thing yeah. Fuyupoly my beloved. I adore Fuyupoly so much 😭 but Winter is honestly a slow burn, especially in comparaison to the rest of the teams. 

I actually didn’t think much of them at first read (Azuma and Hisoka were already my favs though, i’m so soft for them)(also i say that but i know i found back screenshot of me crying about fuyu on first read so i did feel a lot but it didn’t hit me until late, how much i actually cared), and now i legit can’t stop thinking about all of them. I don’t know how much it says about their slowburn or what it says about me but; Winter.

ANYWAY congratz on finishing the main story of act 1 :3c and yeah, i’d prefer if i could share it in private (bc it’s, a lot of content and if i provide it in public this is clearly piracy and DLKFJDF i know a3 tends to take down some of this content and i’m trying to be stealthy).

Though if you don’t want to come off anon, you can tell me in another anon’s ask, i’ll link you my drive, then you’ll need to send me an ask to tell me you got it so i can delete the post, if you prefer?

anyway the drive is up and ready anytime. i just didn’t update some of the latest act 2′s events but act 1 is filled and that’s the priority. so you know also this drive includes 1) Story events, 2) the songs linked to each plays (which tells the story of the plays, def recommand it), 3) All the backstages from limited time cards i could get. Backstages linked to specific events are inside their specific event files, else the cards which didn’t come in an event are in the “Scouting file”.  What’s important to read plotwise is the Event stories. The backstages are very good and i def recommand it but it may be overwhelming so you can skip them and come back later for them DLKJFLDKFJFD it’s really just the main plot of each event that you should watch.

(also i should mention only the first two events are fully voiced, the rest are just with some voicelines here and there, but i still recommand watching it bc of the mood with the music and the sprites and all)

so yeah ready to send it anytime you want  !! :3c

[wolferals]

HURT

herman tømmeraas preference

*

*

-„get out of here! We dont want to see you anymore!“ you hostmom yelled in your face while you were pulling your suitcase through the hallway

-„OUT!“ she screamed and basically pushed you out of the house

-you stumbled backwards and your head hit the ground rather harshly

-it hurt

-your hand shot up to hold the wound on the back of your head

-your host mom didnt even care, she had slammed the door closed and left you there, bleeding

-and all that because of a misunderstanding

-your host sister (who‘s a dumbass bitch) had told her that you were constantly flirting with your host dad

-first of all gross, second of all you lived with them for taking care of a 5 year old girl

-why would you risk getting kicked out

-like now for instance

-after the realization hit you that you had a bleeding wound on your scull you sat up and looked around

-this neighborhood seemed lost, no one near to be seen

-of course there wasnt anyone around right in this exact moment of help needed

-so you slowly stood up, grabbed your suitcase and made your way to the house across the street to ask someone for help

-since you were bleeding, and not too light it took you some time to fully understand your situation

-but you eventually made it to the house and rang the doorbell

-literally a second later a dog shot around the corner and jumped up and down on your leg

-„hey.“ you greeted the fluffy little ball

-„Ellie!“ someone then shouted

-then this guy showed up

-tall, muscular, and damn handsome

-„hallo, hva gjør du her?“ he spoke and walked up to you to pull his dog away from your shaking body

-„sorry i dont speak norwegian. I fell.“ you explained and then showed him your hand covered in blood

-„oh fucking hell! Alright wait here, i‘ll get my keys to take you to the hospital.“

-without waiting for your response he ran inside, his dog right behind him

-it took him not even 30 seconds to come back out the front door you were standing in front of

-he had a towel in his hand

-„press this to the wound to make it stop bleeding“ he then told you and handed you the black towel

-„can you walk? Are you okay?“ he asked and grabbed your arm to help you around the house to his car

-once you were all settled he started the engine and drove you to the nearest hospital

-„what happened to you?“ he then asked and looked at you for a second

-„i was living with the Hansens. I was their au pair from (wherever you‘re from) but they kicked me out before because of some dumb misunderstanding.“ you told him

-„oh shit. So you got no place to go?“

-„i mean, i got this woman from the agency i traveled with who i could call, but she lives in Oslo, it might take her a while to get here or me to get to hers.“

-„thats fucking shit. What are you gonna do now?“ he asked seriously concerned

-„idk, first i need to get this fixed, i can worry about that later.“

-at the hospital they sewed my wound real quick while the guy, whose name i still dont know was waiting outside

-„it would be good for you to stay here overnight Ms y/l/n, just to make sure it heals the way it should.“ the doctor told you and handed you some disinfectant to clean your hands

-„okay.“ you just spoke and sat up straight

-„do you want us to get your boyfriend in here?“ she then asked making you smirk

-„he‘s not my boyfriend i dont even know him. He just helped me get here.“

-she nodded and then spoke:“Well be glad he did, you were bleeding heavily.“

-„anyway we‘re gonna get your room ready, just wait outside with your... friend.“

-you nodded and slowly walked out of the room

-„hey! Are you okay? Feeling better?“ the guy came up to you

-„yeah i am, thank you for driving me here ... whats your name actually?“ you sat down next to him

-„oh yeah right, I‘m Herman. What about you, stranger?“

-you laughed a little and then spoke:“My name‘s y/n. And thanks again.“

-„I have to stay overnight.“ you then added

-„Yeah i figured since it looked pretty bad.“

-you guys then sat there talking a bit until a nurse took you to your room

-Herman then gave you his number because he insisted on you calling him when he should pick you up the next day

-„you dont have to do this.“

-„no i actually do. You have no one here and im already involved here. I dont mind, really. Ill talk to my parents because I‘m staying with them in quarantine.“

-you thanked him again and then he left so you could get some rest

*next day*

-it was about 9am when you woke up in a strange location

-your head didnt hurt

-other than your back

-you were pretty sensitive when its about sleeping on other mattresses

-„oh good morning ms y/l/n. How are you feeling?“ the nurse came in right after you had sat up and grabbed your phone to check your texts

-you had told your family last night what happened and they just told you to either contact that agency woman or come home right away but you really liked norway

-and the only choice was to stay with Herman‘s family and maybe find a job?

-„I‘m okay. My head doesnt hurt anymore.“

-„Dizzy?“

-you shook your head at her

-„let me check your heart rate.“

-she then also checked on your temperature but it all seemed fine so she wanted to talk to the doctor about when you could leave the hospital

-you then got dressed from some clothes out of your suitcase, brushed your hair as good as you could with the big bandaid on the back of your head

-and obviously brushed your teeth

-when you were about to get back to bed you heard a knock at the door

-„come in.“

-„Hey how are you doing?“ Herman spoke smiling

-he had a small bouquet of flowers in his left hand

„I figured i needed to be a good person so i got you these.“ he said shyly

-„Thank you!“ you took them and looked at the flowers before putting them aside

-„i heard you‘re allowed to leave soon.“ he then said

-„oh really? Who told you?“

-he sat down on the end of your bed and answered:“I heard the nurses talking in the hallway

-„perfect. My back hurts terribly from last night. The mattress is shit.“

-„yeah i know, hospitals suck.“ he grinned

-„By the way, my mom would love to meet you.“

-„What why? She doesnt even know me.“ you laughed

-„I told her about your situation and she really doesnt mind having you stay with us.“ he smiled sweetly

-„you sure?“

-„of course.“

-you leaned forward to give him a hug as a thank you

-he smelled nice

-he had probably showered before he got there

-„thanks.“ you spoke again

-„stop thanking me. Of course.“ he softly stroked your back

-you then let go because you heard the door open

-„Good morning y/n, the results look good, your head seems fine so far. In my opinion there‘s nothing to worry about no. It wasnt quite a concussion so i think you can go home now.“ The doctor said and handed you some paperwork to sign

*

-out in the car Herman smiled at you

-„what?“ you looked away shyly

-„nothing. You‘re just different.“ he laughed

-„that‘s not a good thing.“

-„what? Of course it is. You‘re really interested as far as i can judge from the past 24 hours ive known you for.“

-„well...“ you were so shy you just looked out of the window hiding your face in your sleeve

-„cute.“ herman then murmured

-„ohh right.“ you joked and looked at him for a second

-„you are.“ he defended himself

-„sure.“ you grinned. „you have to know someone to judge.“

-he nodded and spoke:“i guess we‘ll get to know each other pretty damn good in the next time.“

-„pretty damn good.“ you repeated and got some tingles thinking about it

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

some quick thoughts on Michael Schmidt’s Cartography of Revolutionary Anarchism aka I Fucking Hated This Book:

(and also I’m kinda sick and my adhd meds are wearing off for the day so this will be poorly written, sorry)

I picked up Cartography because it seemed like a short but global history of anarchist movements from the 1860′s to today, which sounds great! I’m an anarchist, I like history, what could go wrong? and what i found was genuinely one of the worst books i’ve read in years. i’ve thought about formatting this into a proper review, but no one really cares, so let’s do bullet points:

—the most immediately obvious and glaring problem is that Schmidt treats Marxism as if it is an equal (or sometimes implied to be even greater) enemy to anarchists than capitalism. he at one point literally does the “fascism was bad, but the USSR was just as bad” lib thing, and it comes across as completely ideologically blinded. i am well aware of the ways in which anarchists have been treated under centralized communist states, and let’s just say i am Not A Fan, but even thinking about that, the fact that the only opposition to anarchism we hear about regularly is marxist-leninist opposition, and not fucking CAPITALIST OPPOSITION, skews it into the most blindly and dumbly polemical shit i’ve read since, ironically, Lenin’s State and Revolution —every time he says Maoism he puts it in scare quotes? “Maoism”. it’s silly —he claims that anarcho-syndicalism is the most influential and powerful leftist movement and idea of the 20th century, which like....... —by “anarchism”, he means, specifically, anarcho-syndicalism and revolutionary syndicalism, even that which is not explicitly anarchist. he says anarcho-communism and anarcho-syndicalism are the same thing, basically, so we’ll just call them both anarcho-syndicalism, and also any anarchism that doesn’t follow Bakunin isn’t really anarchism, the only way forward for anarchism is through platformism, and all other forms of anarchism are individualist and don’t care about class struggle. i don’t even need to get into how absurd that all is. even if you agree with it, that shit has to be defended, it is not self-evident as he treats it —the history is both a.) bad and b.) terribly written. this comes across in three main ways: one, there is an equation of all union efforts with anarcho-syndicalism, which, yes, was very influential on union organizing throughout the world (and continues to be very influential), but that equivalence is just not helpful or explanatory. it’s clearly just polemic to make it seem like there were more influential and powerful anarchist groups in the world than there actually were. two, he just throws out numbers for the sizes of some of these groups, and the vast, VAST majority of the time gives no context for them. he will say X group in Uruguay had X amount of members in 1935...but i have no idea if that’s a lot or a little. what percentage of workers in this industry was that? what percentage of the population? how did that compare with other political groups in that same time and place? without context these numbers mean literally nothing. and beyond that, some of the groups he talks about are so tiny and dissolved so quickly that it feels a lot of the time like i’m reading a brief history of global communism that included, in the 8 pages of actual history from 1990-today, an entire paragraph about every splinter group of the US red guards —three, and this one requires its own bullet point because of how much it sucked to read, he goes into way too much detail for the space he’s given himself, and there is no reasonable way for him to adequately discuss or give even an impression of every group he brings up. for example, in the 15 history-focused pages for what he called the “third wave” from 1924-1949 (and these are small pages too, about 4 1/2″ x 7 1/4″, like the size of a sci-fi paper back but with regular medium size text), the following groups are brought up and given abbreviations:

AAUD (General Workers’ Union of Germany)

AAU-E (General Labor Union- Unity Organization)

ACAT (American Continental Workingmen’s Association

ACF (Anarchist Communist Federation)

AFB (Anarchist Federation of Britain)

AFD (German Anarchist Federation)

AFP (Anarchist Federation of Poland)

CCRA (Continental Commission of Anarchist Relations)

CGIL (General Confederation of Italian Workers)

CGIL (General Italian Workers’ Federation) [Yes, they have the same abbreviation, because they are the same thing, but are presented twice with slightly different names and given abbreviations both times]

CGT (General Confederation of Labor, given in a previous chapter but I had to google)

CIA (Anarchist International Commission)

CLU (Conference of Labor Unions)

CNT (National Confederation of Labor)

CNT-DG (General Delegation of the CNT)

CRIA (Anarchist International Relations Commission)

EAAF (East Asian Anarchist Federation)

FAF (Francophone Anarchist Federation)

FAGPL (Federation of Anarchist-Communist Groups of Poland and Lithuania)

FAI (Iberian Anarchist Federation)

FAKB (Anarchist Communists of Bulgaria)

FAU (Free Worker’s Union)

FAUD (Free Workers Union of Germany)

FdCAI (Federation of Italian Anarchist Communes)

FFLU (Federation of Free Labor Unions)

FFS (Federation of Libertarian Socialists)

FFSB (Federation of Free Society Builders)

FG (Free Trade Unions)

FIJL (Libertarian Youth Federation of Iberia)

FISR (International Revolutionary Syndicalist Federation)

FKAD (Federation of Communist Anarchists of Germany)

FORV (Venezuelan Regional Workers’ Federation)

FvDG (Free Association of German Trade Unions

GAK (Group of Anarchist Communists, defined in a previous chapter but I had to google just now)

GFP (General Worker’s Federation)

HCH (General League of Koreans)

IFA (Presented without definition, I think defined in a previous chapter but google says it stands for International of Anarchist Federations, but that doesn’t make sense because that was formed in the late 60′s, way after this and the previous chapters, so idk)

IWA (International Workers Association, given in a previous chapter and presented in this one without explanation but that I know of through outside knowledge)

IWW (Industrial Workers of the World, same as previous entry)

JAC (Japanese Anarchist Club)

JAF (Japanese Anarchist Federation)

JJLL (Libertarian Youth)

KACF (Korean Anarchist Communist Federation)

KAF (Korean Anarchist Federation)

KAF-C (Korean Anarchist Federation in China)

KAF-M (Korean Anarchist Federation in Manchuria)

KRF (Korean Revolutionist Federation)

KSS (Black Front Society)

KYFSC (Korean Youth Federation in South China)

LSC (Libertarian Socialist Council)

MLNA (North African Libertarian Movement)

OVB (Independent League of Trade Unions)

POI (Italian Worker’s Party)

PSAR (Revolutionary Anarchist Socialist Party

PSI (Italian Socialist Party)

RPAU (Revolutionary Insurrectionary Army of Ukraine, presented without definition but defined in a previous chapter and I know of through outside knowledge. Of note, I almost never hear this referred to like this. Everyone says The Black Army)

RR (Worker’s Solidarity)

RRU (Worker’s Solidarity Movement)

SPD (Marxist Social Democratic Party)

SPIRA (Provisional Secretariat on International Relations)

SWF (Syndicalist Worker’s Federation)

UAI (Italian Anarchist Union)

UCAI (Union of Communist Anarchists of Italy)

USI (Italian Syndicalist Union)

VB (Free Union)

ZK (Kronstadt Accords)

ZSP (Polish Syndicalist Union)

ZZZ (Union of Trade Unions)

bruh I am not joking, he brings all of these up in 15 pages and it seems like you are expected to be able to both remember them and keep track of them as you read, although i’m almost certain a great deal of them are given an abbreviation, mentioned in one sentence, and then never mentioned again. however, i can not promise you that, because you KNOW i could not keep this shit straight or remember any of it.

anyways i am so fucking fed up typing all of those that i don’t want to do this anymore. the book fucking sucks, don’t get it.

[jimlingss]

I've been a silent reader for at least a couple of years!! Huge fan!! I always come back to your stories! 💜 As for ideas for stories, maybe an au set in joseon or goryeo eras, or maybe a e2l of some sort idk. Best of luck to you!! Hope you have an awesome day!

Anonymous said: feeling a yoongi royalty au? 👀

Anonymous said: *gasp* you’re doing request? 🥺 can I request an arranged marriage with jimin or yoongi? btw I love your student council series so much 💕

↳ A Fire Flower

3.4k words || 1% Fluff, 99% Angst || Min Yoongi || Historical!AU

Warnings: Murder and gruesome detailes

You run. 

“Princess! Princess! Wait!” The servants behind you are shouting, grabbing their gowns in fistfuls, shuffling their feet forward. But they’re far too slow.  

You glance behind you, laughing and sneaking off to the left and then the right. The whole line of your servants pass by your hiding spot and when it’s silent again, you slip into the East pavilion. You make your way past the gardens to the guards standing by the stables. 

You approach with your spine straight and your chin high in the air. The guards automatically bow their heads. “Princess.” 

“Give me your sword.” You motion to the left guard, but they exchange expression with one another. “Hurry!” 

“But Princess—” 

“You dare go against my order?! Do you know who I am?!” Your voice booms. “I am Emperor Yin and Queen Seo’s daughter. If you dare to go against my orders, you are going against the orders of my father!” 

The lowly guards fall onto their knees. “We wouldn’t dare, princess.” 

A smirk pulls on your lips. “Then hand me your sword now.” 

Once it’s in your reach, you unsheathed it. The blade shines against the sunlight and metal hisses as you take it out fully, grasping at the handle tightly. You try to give it a swing and hum in satisfaction. 

You point at the right guard. “You there. Fight me.” 

“Spare me, princess!” He falls onto his knees again, this time with his head pressed to the dirt. You roll your eyes. “I would never dare to fight someone of noble blood. Your father would never forgive me.” 

“Are you trying to make me angry?” You laugh mockingly, pulling up your long sleeve. “I’ve had training before. You won’t harm me so easily.” 

“Princess…” The stupid guard is relentless as he is irritating. 

“Princesses shouldn’t play with such sharp toys when they don’t know it’s a weapon,” a low voice speaks and you know that familiar timbre anywhere. You turn around to address a man with black hair. His eyes are narrow, reminiscent to that of a sly cat, his lips thin.  

Min Yoongi, son of a minister and part of the Min clan — your betrothed. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I should be asking you that.” He smiles and points to the blade you’re holding. “Don’t you think that’s dangerous?” 

You stare down at it and for a moment you regard how sharp and intimidating it is. Your eyes look back up at him. “It’s not dangerous if I know how to use it.” 

“Well, do you?” 

“You can teach me.” Your eyes glisten. It sounds even better after you say it out loud. So you approach him with your arms behind your back, leaning down, lashes fluttering. “Please?” 

Unfortunately, your coy and cute act doesn’t have much of an effect on him as it does on your father. 

“Shouldn’t a girl like you be doing something else than sword fighting?” Yoongi sighs, but he still unsheathes his own sword. 

You scoff, pointing the tip of the blade at him. “Say that again, and I won’t forgive you. I refuse to go flower viewing or practice calligraphy again.” 

Yoongi wears that arrogant smile of his that you absolutely detest. “You’re confident, aren’t you, princess?” 

“Of course I am. I don’t have any reason not to be.” 

He nods. “Let’s play then — if you can wound me, I’ll convince my father to cancel our engagement.” 

Your eyes are wide before a smile spreads into your face. “I will hold you accountable for your words.” 

“Please, don’t hesitate, Princess.” He waves you over and you run forward, swinging your sword and attacking his neck. But he defends himself instantly with a clang of his sword. 

Yoongi smirks and your own lips fall into a straight line. 

“Ha!” You try another swing. There’s yet another clash of silver blades. 

He’s acting as if he’s entertaining a child and it makes you angrier. With all the strength in your arms, you thrust out your sword. Yet, he deflects it with a simple flick of his wrist. You flash, lurch forward, swing. Yoongi uses one hand, doesn’t even blink, doesn’t even flinch.  

“You will never win against me, princess.” Yoongi smirks. “When will you come to accept that?” 

Your teeth grit. You raise your arms to try to hit him — but you’re interrupted by a roaring voice. 

“What’s going on?!” The servant announces that the Emperor is here and you instantly drop the sword, grinning and running up to him. 

“Father! I didn’t know that you’d be here.” 

He tries not to show that he’s already giving in, that his strict facade is melting at your coos and the way you hug his arm. “I heard you ran away from your lessons again.” 

“Only because they were boring.” Your nose scrunches in distaste. 

“And so you’re out here causing trouble again?” He looks off and the guards fall onto their knees, heads downcasted, already begging for forgiveness. “Who gave her the sword?!” 

You pout. “Father, I asked him to. It’s not their fault. And Yoongi was just teaching me.” “

Your majesty.” Your betrothed gathers his hands together, bowing his head to greet the King. “The princess seemed interested and I was teaching her how to defend herself.” 

The Emperor sighs and nods. “I’m glad there’s someone to look after her.” 

You stomp your foot in indignation. “He doesn’t look after me!” 

“I made sure to go easy on her, your majesty,” Yoongi informs shortly and you gasp in offence, frowning at him. He ignores you, but you see that little smile on his face. You should’ve just skewed him when you had the chance — he’s so infuriating. 

“There, there, don’t be upset.” Your father pats your back, already seeing the way your features were twisted, on the verge of throwing another one of your infamous tantrums. “We can’t always be good at everything.” 

“If I had a proper teacher, I’d be better at it.” 

Your father smiles softly. “Your mother would never allow it. If she knew you were here, she’d be angry. Let’s not make her that way.” 

You pout again, fiddling with the fabric of your extravagant skirt. Yoongi smiles and puts his sword away. “If I may, your majesty, I must go speak to my father.” 

“Of course.” He nods his head, dismissing the younger male and you watch him leave. 

You end up walking with your father, the servants left behind as you stride up the bridge over the river, staring at the flowerbeds. “I see you’ve been close to him these days….” your father notes, giving a knowing smile. 

You tear your eyes away from the flowers — something you never cared much for when there were much more exciting things. “He came out of nowhere to make me angry. We aren’t close!” 

He laughs heartily, nodding his head with his arms behind his back. You brush his dragon robes, how majesty he looks in gold and red. But up close, you realize how old he’s gotten, strands of hair gray, wrinkles marring his expression. You sigh, looking at your own reflection in the water. 

“Must I marry him, father?” 

“Why? Do you not enjoy his company?” 

“It’s not that….I just….I don’t want to be made to do something. I know I’m not allowed, but I want to be able to choose. If the princess of the kingdom cannot even choose her own partner, then who can?” 

“Some things in life you cannot choose. Fighting will bring you more pain. You must only come to accept them,” he says, but you don’t understand what he exactly means. Your father meets your eyes and is firm. “You must. It’s important for us to have ties to the Min clan. Not just for you, but for our kingdom and our people. Sacrifice must be made sometimes.” 

You huff, unable to comprehend why you must have ties with the Min clan. Your father is the Great Emperor — he shouldn’t need anything from anyone. “You only want me to wed to him because he’s the son of the finance minister.” 

“He is also a kind, patient, and highly educated individual. You both have compatible fortunes as well. He will make a good husband and father. There is no one better than him.” 

“You’re better.” You hug his arm and underneath his robes, you can feel his bones. It’s no longer like when you were a child and he could lift you without batting a lash. “Can’t I stay by your side forever? You, mother, Taeho, and I. I don’t have to go anywhere. I don’t have to join another family.” 

Your father laughs joyfully. “You can’t be naive all the time, child. What will happen when I die? Would you really want to be alone with no one to keep you company?” 

“You won’t die for a long time,” you reaffirm. “And I’m sure Taeho wouldn’t mind having me around.” 

“Palace life is difficult, child. I only wish the best for you.” 

“Then reconsider my marriage with Yoongi,” you coax. “Or at least…give me some time. I don’t want to wed him when we barely know each other.” 

It’s silent until he finally makes a noise at the back of his throat. “You’ve been arranged to marry him for years now. Delaying such a promise back will not be an easy one.” 

“It’s not like we’re breaking it,” you tell with a grin. 

Your father nods. “I will reconsider.” 

That’s enough for you to throw your hands in the air and giggle, pulling him in a tight squeeze that garners his chuckles. You might not win against Yoongi in terms of strength, but you have your own ways. 

Little do you know just how dire the consequences are for your selfish wish. 

// 

It’s the middle of the night, a new moon that has the sky blanked in black, that you hear footsteps on the roof of your room. You’re brought out of your slumber, rising to stare at the shadow cast at your door, a mysterious silhouette that paint itself outside.  

You shout, “Who’s there?” 

You gather your blanket to hide your underclothes, screaming at the shadow until it moves. Until it opens the door. And a boy with blanked hair and cat-like eyes greets you. “Yoongi?” 

“We need to go.” He approaches and his sword catches the light, blinding your eyes. 

“What?” 

“Hurry.” He pulls the blanket and grabs your wrist. 

“What are you doing?!” You resist, but he yanks your hand to his chest and you lose your balance, until you’re caught by him, body pressed against his. His gaze is deep and boring into your eyes. The close proximity renders you speechless. 

“There’s no time to explain.” He brings you out of your room, but you’re slowed when you see the orange flames, the smoke curling into the air.  

But what takes your attention isn’t the fire. It’s the red on the walls and paper windows. Stained splotches of red that look like they’ve been sprayed. Blood. 

“What’s going on?” you ask desperately, tears welling in your eyes, voice catching in your throat. 

He hides behind a pillar, peeking you out while keeping you right by his side. “We’re being overthrown by the ministers.” 

“What?” The syllable spills out harshly off your tongue. “How dare they? Where’s my father?!” 

“He’s been captured.” 

Your blood runs cold. Your heart stops beating. Your stomach drops. You feel sick, like you might throw up. But there’s no time for any sort of reaction like that, not when Yoongi pulls you along, running to the next hiding place. 

You stumble on your feet. You’re too slow. 

Someone calls out. “Sir!” 

Yoongi halts. He hesitates. The stranger calls out to him again and there’s a rush of footsteps that follow, clanging of armour. They’re not the palace guards coming to save you. They’re rebels. “Sir?!” 

Yoongi steps away from behind the wall. He drags your body out. He holds your arm up as if you were a prize that was meant to be caught. “I have her.” 

You whirl your head to stare at him, knees trembling.  

Yoongi swallows hard. “Bring her to my father.” 

You’ve been betrayed by your betrothed. You scream his name in agony and rage, spitting it out at the top of your lungs. “Yoongi! Min Yoongi! You son of a bastard! God will damn you! Let me go! Let me go this instant! Do you know who I am?! I am the princess! You all will die! The minute my father gets his hands on you—!” 

Your voice shrieks, tearing from your throat, bloodcurdling. But your defiance and resistance doesn’t last long. You’re pushed and shoved into the throne room, gasping when you see your father, mother, younger brother tied up. Each with a sword pressed to their necks. 

“Y/N!” — “Sister!” 

You sob, unable to run to them when you’re being held back, physically restrained. 

The man standing beside your father turns around. He wears a smirk you find all too familiar, his eyes cat-like and narrowed into you. Yoongi’s father has his arms behind his back, proud that he was the minister who orchestrated this all.  

“How dare you!” 

“Y/N.” Your father is quiet and composed. “It’s okay.” 

You’re shoved onto your knees. Yoongi’s father smiles, walking over slowly to hover above you. “Here’s a sight I’ve never seen before. The entire royal family bowing down to me….and his precious, little daughter so vulnerable.” 

His finger brings up your chin, looking at your face in the dim candlelight. You flinch away to glare. “Heaven will never allow you to rule,” you curse him in spite. “You do not have the divine right—” 

“And you think your father does?” he laughs, mockingly. “Your grandfather won the throne through blood and betrayal. I’m not doing anything different from what he has done. I am merely taking back what should’ve never been yours. For too long, I’ve waited and let this nation suffer. I thought my son could one day save it, but that was a wish too inconceivable. I will not wait anymore. It’s time for it to be brought into a new era of prosperity.” 

“Prosperity?” your mother hisses. “Do not mask your greed for altruism.” 

He scoffs and the corner of his mouth curls. “My greed is not the one to be spoken about, Sowon. You’ve killed and harmed countless girls to achieve the position that you have. Your list of crimes is too long to know.” 

“Don’t speak to my mother that way!” you scream at him, “You are a traitor. You all are.” You face the ministers surrounding you, horrified that they’re content with allowing this to happen, that they merely divert their eyes and stay silent. “And you will pay for your crimes!” 

He chuckles, lifting his hand and instantly, the guards press their swords tighter against your throats. The blade nearly breaks skin and draws blood. 

The minister paces around your father. “Yin, you have been found to have committed treason against the country during your rule, acting against the nation’s interest in order to protect your family, and for this, you will pay with your life.” 

He shuts his eyes as you shriek. Your father merely murmurs, “Protect the crown prince.” 

Your family sobs, tears dripping onto the floor. The minister pulls out the Emperor’s own sword, but instead of decapitating your father’s head from his neck in a single swing, he tosses it on the ground, right in front of you. It clangs horrifically and you wince. 

“Betray your father the same way he has betrayed the nation. Go against your filial duty and your mother and brother’s life will be spared. If not, they will die.” 

A high-pitched shriek rings into your ear, horrified and pained — and it takes a moment until you realize it’s your own. The held blades begin to cut into your throat, into your mother’s and Taeho’s.  

Your eyes widen, shocked, breaths staggering. You’re staring at the silver blade. You don’t notice Yoongi who has run to the entrance of the throne room, his shadow casted on the door.  

“I….I….” 

“No! Don’t!” Your mother shrieks, her hair falling in front of her face. Her honour is lost, name smeared with dirt. 

Your father opens his eyes again, adorning a soft smile and he nods towards you. You know that look of his. “You must protect your brother.” 

“I…” Tears shed down your cheeks. You’re forced to stand by the guards, held by the collar of your attire. The sword is shoved into your hands, the tip of another pointed at the small of your back. “I can’t…” 

“You c-can.” Your father tells. “It’s okay.” 

Your mother and brother wail, crying. Blood begins to drip to where the swords are held against their necks. You tremble, staggering forward, pushed and shoved. Your father shuts his eyes and you’re brought in front of him. “I….I can’t….” 

Suddenly, your father reaches out. He grabs a hold of the blade tightly, sinking his hand into it and he throws himself forward. He runs the sword into his body. Blood spits from his mouth, spraying onto your cheek.  

You drop the sword, staggering back. Broken sobs are caught in your throat. Your heart stops, hands shaking, and you collapse. Breaths pull out of your lungs — you can’t breathe no matter how much you gasp. Your father looks at you, nodding his head, and then he slumps over. 

All at once, the other guards slash down at your mother and younger brother. Cruel and unsparing. The last of your family’s wails are cut short. “Sist—!” And they fall over. 

Blood drips down from the sword in thick puddles. It trickles like summer rain. And it spreads, coating the golden floors of the throne room in the shade of carmine. Your hands become wet and warm with your family’s blood. 

You can’t feel your body. 

“Shall we kill her, your majesty?” the guard asks the minister, waiting for his signal. 

Yoongi’s father smiles. He walks over the bodies, unsympathetic that his shoes are soaked in scarlet. He tilts your chin up with his index finger. “It would be a shame if such beauty went to waste.” He smiles and stands straight. “She will become my courtesan.” 

“Yes, your majesty.” You’re dragged upwards by your arms, legs dangling like a doll. 

“Prepare her and bring her to my room tonight.” 

As you’re dragged out, you watch Yoongi’s father climbs the steps up to the throne. 

You’re brought out into the darkness, carried by two guards. But suddenly, they whimper, falling onto their knees, slashed on their backs. They drop dead. 

You barely manage to hold yourself up, but you feel yourself being shaken, a faraway voice raspy and speaking to you. You’re dizzy, world spinning around you, not sure if you’re dead or alive. But you find cat-like eyes that you detest to the core of your being in front of you. 

You’re pushed forward by him, stumbling towards a horse by the stable. You know it’s your only escape, your only opportunity. It’s the only thing your numb mind can focus on, and with the rest of your strength, you climb up onto it.  

You lay on the animal it and it cries out, hooved digging into the dirt as it sprints. You try to hold on with your blood stained hands. 

But you glance behind you once more to the palace engulfed by fire. 

Min Yoongi — you will kill him and his father. You will crush their limbs beneath your feet before beheading him slowly at the bottom steps of the throne. You will come back and you will slaughter every single one of them, the ministers, the rebels, the traitors. You will avenge your family and clear their names by hanging their heads out on display. It’s a vow you swear yourself by. 

Your hands are already stained with blood — more of it wouldn’t matter now.

[shirtlesssammy]

5x05: Fallen Idols

Hey all! Welcome to Hate Watch Week! We’ve picked the best of the worst and are recapping them all week. These are our personal choices, and I’m sure they all (*but one*) have redeeming qualities, we just see the bad more than the good. Enjoy our snark  --and join in if you want :) (And if you’re still trying to guess our hiatus theme, this episode doesn’t count.) 

Then:

Angst-a-thon!

Now:

We meet Jimmy and his pal, Cal, both race car enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts for one sports car: James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder. While Jimmy runs to get the camera, Cal sits in the car, ready to start the “Little Bastard”. Only, the air gets frosty and the car radio flickers on. We hear a crash and Jimmy heads back to the garage to find Cal’s head smashed into the jagged edge of the convertible’s windshield. 

Sam and Dean are on the case! Sam wants to know why this case is so important --what with the devil and apocalypse and all. “This is what we’re doing, okay?” Dean insists. Dean highlights that they’ve been away from each other for a while (*Ahem* maybe I don’t like this episode as much because the last two episodes were just Dean and Cas having fun times together? IDK. 5x03 and 5x04 were a wild ride that I watch over and over again.) 

THE HORROR:

They arrive at the local cop shop as FBI agents Bonham and Copeland. The local sheriff shows them the video “evidence” that Cal’s good buddy Jim killed him. The brothers are less than convinced.

The sheriff applied Occam's Razor, and done and done. 

The brothers want to interview Jim anyway. He tells them what he heard from the house: tires squealing, glass breaking. The car killed Cal. It’s cursed. Jim mentions that it was “Little Bastard” that did it, and Dean’s eyes light up like a little boy at Christmas. OoooohhhHHHHooo. Dean and cars and, well, don’t tell me he never had a crush on James Dean. We all have had a crush on James Dean. Sam “I can’t be any more straight” Winchester has no flippin’ clue what’s going on. Dean insists they check out the car. Bby boy. 

They head to the car, and Dean takes a moment. Sam asks for some exposition. Dean explains that after James Dean died, the mechanic bought the wreckage and fixed the car. 

The car fell on him, and death continues to follow the car wherever it goes (Ugh, I just went down a rabbit hole of what happened to the car and am now in a weird spiral of remembering how much I loved James Dean as a teen and how much Rebel Without A Cause meant to me. I’m not 90 years old. What a weird flex for a 1990’s kid to experience. But also not, since Dean’s right there with me, right?) 

Anyway, to really confirm if the car was James Dean’s, they’ve got to match the engine number. Dean heads under the car to confirm, begging the car to not hurt him first. Dean takes his sweet ass time being nervous and writing down the engine number, but he makes it out alive. He tasks Sam with tracking down all the owners.

While Dean hangs at a bar, Sam discovers the car is a fake. 

Meanwhile, a nerdy man reflects on his day at his desk when the air gets frosty and he hears a creaking behind him. He turns and utters, “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.” Is it a long lost wife? An old rival? Nope. It’s a growling Abraham Lincoln. He chokes the nerd man until he becomes a victim of the blood cannon. Better angels of our nature, my ass. 

The agents meet the sheriff at the crime scene. They remark that there’s nothing strange about the victim dying of a gunshot wound where there’s no gun, no gunpowder, no bullet. Awkward. The brothers demand a reasonable explanation from the sheriff. He hunkers down and whispers, “Professional killer.” He’s thinking this is a Michael Clayton-type thing. And I love it because that’s the limit of his imagination. Sam and Dean know better but only because they live in the fringe of this world where monsters are real. 

Sam and Dean head to interview the victim’s maid, Consuela Alvarez. She’s very distressed, and can only speak Spanish. 

Sam pulls out his freshman Spanish to save the day. I only remember “Donde esta el baño?” Good job, Sam! The killer was a tall man with a long black coat and a beard. And he wore a hat. A tall hat. Dean cracks the code: A stovepipe hat like Abraham Lincoln. DEAN BEAN, so street smart he doesn’t even realize how book smart he is. Sigh. “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” Consuela confirms. 

The brothers continue to research. Dean watches the car video frame by frame until he finds one frame of a blurred red coated figure ---and INSTANTLY guesses that it’s James Dean ---but like Jim Stark James Dean. It’s not like James Dean wore the damn red coat outside of that movie role, lol. (Sidenote: Fun fact: Fry from Futurama’s coat is modeled after that red coat.) 

Sam realizes that they’re dealing with famous ghosts that are killing their fans. (Sidenote: I hope Misha Collins never dies.) The brothers wonder why these ghosts are haunting Canton, Ohio. They do more research. 

The brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum. They marvel at all the random wax figurines (and Sam is taller than Lincoln? Hmmm. They’re the same height. #Borisisanerd) Dean makes fun of Gandhi and Sam defends him, but uh, nope, Sam, nope. 

The museum curator shows up and the brothers introduce themselves as reporters for Travel Magazine. They’re writing an article on “how totally non-sucky wax museums are.” The curator points out that this place is unique. He points to Lincoln and tells the boys that’s actually Lincoln’s hat. Yep, he’s got real items from all the dead guys. 

He’s going to make wax museums hip again. And OMG Sam’s little thumbs up in response. STOP. 

Later, Sam loads up on salt rounds and walks in on Dean talking to Bobby about him. Dean gets off the phone fast and dismisses Sam’s questioning about the call. Dean’s not 100% with Sam yet. They head out to finish the case. 

At the wax museum Dean starts poking around. Let the tomfoolery begin!

Sam hauls out a metal trash can which they can use to torch all the priceless, one of a kind objects. (History-fan me cringes.) While he’s doing an ultra-close-up examination of Lincoln, the doors slam shut. Suddenly, Gandhi is on him! Gandhi is strong, he’s fast, and he’s out to kill. Dean torches Gandhi's watch and Sam’s attacker winks out. 

The next day, Sam mulls over the case in the motel room. Ghost Gandhi's quick disappearance has him troubled. He didn’t flame out like most ghosts, and he seemed almost zombie hungry. Sam thinks the hunger is uncharacteristic given Gandhi's tendency towards fruitarianism. (WWMGD? What would monster Gandhi do?) Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns, and Sam tells him that hunting together isn’t working. Dean doesn’t trust him. More than that, Dean’s trying to stick to their old patterns with the older brother telling the younger brother what to do. 

“Before didn’t work,” Sam tells him. That old dynamic chased Sam off into Ruby’s arms. “You’re gonna have to let me grow up.”

Dean’s phone rings. It’s the local cops, calling about another terrible incident. 

The Sheriff is…utterly at a loss with this next one. Dean and Sam head into the station to interview two teen girls. They tearfully recount the “horrible” “way horrible” disappearance of their friend who was kidnapped earlier by…Paris Hilton. 

Dean and Sam tick the obvious boxes. Paris Hilton isn’t dead, so they’re not after a ghost. Sam suits up in scrubs to do a detailed autopsy of one of the prior corpses. He pulls out two strange seeds from one of the victim’s stomachs. 

Sam fills Dean in on the excessive blood loss he discovered (something was feeding) and the seeds. The seeds are unusual, and he takes them back to the motel. There, he discovers that the seeds were indigenous to a forest in Europe, and the forest was ruled over by a god, Leshi. Leshi can take on any form and feeds on his followers. Dean hand waves the shapeshifting explanation for the audience by asking, “So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?” Thank you, Exposition Dean!

The Winchesters arrive back at the Wax Museum, this time bearing a nice sharp axe. In a creepy closed exhibit they find the victim and…Paris Hilton. She (He?) takes out Dean and Sam quickly. When they wake a little while later, they’re tied to the fake trees in the exhibit. 

Leshi sharpens a blade slowly, excited to do the sacrificial ritual correctly this time. He explains that he’s settled in this town to stuff his face full of worshippers arriving at the wax museum. With the apocalypse nigh, there’s no reason to diet! 

Leshi grouses about the poor quality of worshippers these days. Dean fights whining with snark, and Leshi tells him that he worships somebody - his dad. “Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.” They fight and Sam breaks free and hacks off Leshi’s head.

The next day, we learn that the victim they rescued is going to recover. And even better? The bumbling Sheriff is putting out an APB on Paris Hilton. 

At the car, Dean admits his own culpability in bringing about the apocalypse, when he broke the first seal. He apologizes for being preoccupied with the wrong things. Sam responds with the hero speech with which we’re so familiar. “We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.” Dean’s on board. Hell, he’s more than ready to move forward. He hands Sam the keys to Baby and they roll off to the sweet sounds of Jeff Beck's “Superstition." D’awwww.

These Quotes are Hot:

We’re not your typical cops

Death follows this car around like exhaust

Christine is fiction, this is real

I'm gonna make wax museums hip again

Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat

You’re not the first god we've met, but you are the nuttiest

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[kpopaeipathy]

Christmas Inn Love (Jimin Oneshot)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Prompt: This is always the worst part of the year for me, except now I’ll spend the holidays with you.

Summary: After your parents died, you ran away from everything that reminded you of them, including Park Jimin. However, going back to your childhood home and seeing that everything remained the same, including the man you love, can change everything one more time. This time for the better.

Word Count: 4,096

Warnings: Mentions of death

A/N: This is the last story for the Winter Drabble Collection. It’s much bigger than the others. It’s a special gift to y’all, so I really hope you like it. Idk what I’ll write next year, but I’m thinking of continuing this story. If you agree and want more of this, let me know ^^

---

You didn't want to go in. As much as that was your duty, and as much as you promised your brother Jungkook that you would do that, you did not want to enter the inn. Just looking at the rustic facade, beautifully decorated for the festivities, made your heart clench and you relive the cries of that fateful night.

When Jungkook asked you to do that inspection, you listed all the reasons you remembered and didn't remember to see if he changed his mind and sent someone else in your place. But it was Christmas Eve and everyone was home, celebrating the date with their families, including Jungkook. You even tried to make the inspection after Christmas, but even you knew it wouldn't work since you were postponing that inspection for 3 years.

So here you were standing in front of the only place in the world you were not ready to enter.

"Miss Jeon?" You heard someone call beside you and turned to see who it was.

The man standing with a shovel in his hand opened his eyes wide, showing that he was surprised by your presence. But you were also surprised to recognize the man, even after 8 years.

"Mr. Kim?" You asked, approaching the man and removing your glove to shake his bare hand. You smiled as you remembered Mr. Kim's habit of always removing snow from the inn passage without the gloves, which slowed him down because he didn't feel the tool right in his hands. "I didn't think you were still working here," you said.

Grinning, he reached out and took your hand, his grip as strong and firm as eight years ago.

"You will find that little has changed since you left," he replied.

"The facade is still the same," you agreed, returning back to the entrance of the inn that had once been your home.

"Let's go in, kid," he called, stepping forward and up the front steps of the inn. "You'll freeze if you stay out here for too long."

You did what he said. You had to do that even if you weren't ready to go back to that place. So it was better to pull the bandage at once and hope that the wound wouldn't bleed again.

Mr. Kim opened the door for you, and as soon as you set foot inside the inn, you felt as if you were traveling back in time. It wasn't just the outside that remained the same, the inside as well. Even the ornaments you thought would be worn and discarded were in place, just as when you and Jungkook lived there with your parents.

Trying not to think about that memory, you swallowed hard and headed for the reception desk along with Mr. Kim, who put the shovel behind the counter and told you he would look for the manager, leaving you alone.

You couldn't resist looking around. That inn had been your home in childhood and adolescence, and also for a year after you became an adult. You might be expected to feel bad about entering, mainly because of the memory responsible for your absence from that place, but you were actually feeling at home, as you had never felt in Seoul.

“Y/N?”

You tensed your spine at that voice. Suddenly all memories of the house, the tragedy, and the years after that disappeared, leaving only one memory instead. A warm, loving smile that reached into the brown eyes, making them smile along with the thick-lipped mouth.

You turned slowly back to the counter and found the owner of the smile that flooded your mind. But this time, Jimin wasn't smiling. He was watching you with his head bowed slightly, his expression neutral, showing no emotion at seeing you.

"Hello," was all you could say.

You didn't realize Jimin had become the new manager of the inn. If you had known, that would have been one more reason why you would try to postpone the inspection. Even so, nothing could be done now, since you were standing there facing him in the place you had so badly wanted to avoid.

"Jungkook said someone would come to do the inspection," he continued, still showing no emotion at seeing you again. That made you more disappointed than sad. You could expect anger, resentment, disdain, but you could never expect indifference.

That's what you get for abandoning a love for so long, a voice in your head accused you.

"But I didn't think it was going to be you," he added. Then he smiled. That smile you remembered, and even though you had only just discovered it, the smile you missed so much. As before, the smile easily reached the eyes. "Good to see you again."

You blinked, trying to reorder the thoughts that had turned to smoke when you saw that smile. You cleared your throat and then said, "It's good to see you too."

At that moment you noticed. Quickly, in a brief second, when Jimin tilted his head again and looked into your eyes, you could see the sorrow.

"Is it?" He asked, still smiling.

Taking a deep breath, you simply nodded. Then you looked around, trying to ignore what Jimin was doing to you.

"I see you left everything as before," you said, trying to change the subject to what had brought you there. Jimin was one more reason for you to do that inspection quickly and get out of there.

"Yes," he replied, even though he knew you had not asked a question, but made an observation. “The old manager told me it should be like this and Jungkook specifically asked me that. But even if no one had asked me, I would have done so. I like the look and the traditions.”

"I didn't know you were the new manager," you commented, still trying not to look at him, but couldn't help but do so when he fell silent.

Jimin agreed as soon as you turned back to look at him, then said, "I hear you haven't heard anything about this place since you went to Seoul."

“I still heard some news,” you felt you needed to defend yourself, but the truth was he wasn't wrong, you really didn't want to know anything about the inn your parents left for you and your brother.

"Only that management had changed," he added for you.

You were responsible for all inspections of your brother's property, including the inn. You had a partner, someone who did the inspections with you and who was responsible for the inn inspections since you moved. But this partner of yours had resigned, leaving that responsibility to you. Even though you had postponed doing that for so long, you knew this day would come.

"And that everything is still working very well," you reinforced. You wanted Jimin to know that you knew he was doing a good job.

“So we were without inspection for three years?” He asked, and the cheerful smile distorted a little, showing that his sense of humor hadn't changed either. You thanked God for that, because it made the mood lighter among you.

"I wanted to give you some time before you face a slightly roughneck inspector," you replied, joking too.

"Then I should strive to make everything look perfect," he replied, stepping out from behind the counter. Where would you like to start?"

"How about the kitchen?"

Jimin narrowed his eyes and came very close to you. 

"Your stomach always spoke louder," he whispered. And as if it'd been called into the conversation, your stomach made a loud noise. That made Jimin laugh before walking away from you and heading toward the kitchen.

Before you followed him, you grimaced at your own belly, wishing Jimin wasn't around so you could reprimand your stomach. Weren't butterflies enough? Did it still have to talk to Jimin? Hadn't any part of your body missed him?

It was the smell that changed the course of your thoughts. If the sight of the inn with the same decorations as when you were younger or the sight of Mr. Kim doing his usual chores hadn't made you feel at home, the smell of Mrs. Jung's delicacies certainly did the job.

Looking around the kitchen, you could see the finely decorated gingerbreads, the appetizing cakes and pies, the jars of natural juice and the oven-ready Christmas turkey. That sight brought tears to your eyes and a smile to your face.

"Oh my God," the exclamation caught your eye and you turned to look at Mrs. Jung, who was pulling another batch of gingerbread out of the oven. “When Mr. Kim told me you were here, I couldn't believe it. I thought it was another joke of that old fool. But it's true. Our little Y/N has come home!”

Dropping the tray on the counter, Mrs. Jung ran to you and wrapped you in a tight hug. It had been so long since you had been hugged with such enthusiasm that the tears accumulated by the memory of that lady's smell of food eventually spilled.

"Oh my dear," Mrs. Jung said as she pulled back to look at you closely, then wiped the tears from your cheeks as she continued to speak as if you were never gone and were still the little platter stealing her candy. "I'm very happy to see you too."

“I missed you, Mrs. Jung,” you confessed, knowing deeply that missing them had been the worst part of leaving.

"You're here now," the woman said, hugging you again. "There's no reason to cry."

When you walked away, your gaze went straight to Jimin, who was watching you with that neutral expression again, as if he didn't want you to know what he thought of all that.

Wasting no time and also wanting to relive the memories, Mrs. Jung took a portion of gingerbreads and placed them on a plate so you could taste them. That was becoming the best inspection you had ever done.

After half an hour, you and Jimin finally managed to get rid of Mrs. Jung and you two went to the second floor. Not without her leaving another plate in your hand, this time with a piece of every pie she'd made.

“You're not going into this room with a plate of food in your hands,” once again the voice that caught your attention startled you and made you nostalgic. "Even though you own the place."

As you turned to the bedroom door in front of the one you were ready to enter with Jimin, you smiled. Lisa hadn't changed a thing in the eight years you didn't see her. She was still the same red-haired, easy-smiling girl you called a friend.

Of all the people in that place, she was the only one you had been in contact with. It was at her urging, of course, as she nearly shot Jungkook for him to give her your new phone number. Still, it was great to still have her as a friend, even at a distance.

“The good daughter makes it home,” Lisa said as she walked with open arms to you. Without thinking twice, you forgot the pie you were tasting and hugged your friend you haven't seen for so long. "Just so you know, he knows we kept in touch," she whispered in your ear, making your eyes go straight to Jimin, who continued with the neutral expression you didn't like.

You walked away and you looked back at Lisa, who you smiled at. You hoped Lisa would fill you with questions about your trip and help you keep the mood light even with Jimin's presence, but all she did was send Jimin back to work and say she could take care of you.

As much as his presence was making you nervous, you felt your heart tighten as he simply nodded and left you alone with Lisa to look around the rooms.

“Where are the guests?” You asked when you and Lisa entered the third empty room.

“Jimin knew the inspector would come today, so he arranged a trip to the village with all the guests. That would make it easier for you to do the inspection.” Lisa answered.

"Did he know I was the inspector?" You couldn't hold back the question as you watched the spotlessly clean and tidy room.

"Jungkook also kept him in the dark, you know," Lisa replied, drawing your attention to her, who was removing invisible dirt from one of the pillows. "As much as you didn't know anything about the inn and Jimin, Jimin knew nothing about you and Seoul."

"How is that possible? They are still friends.”

“The best, from what I hear. But your brother always wanted to stay true to your wishes. That's also why he never asked you to come back here until today.”

"Then why did he insist that I come?"

Lisa stopped inspecting the room with you and looked into your eyes. Then she came over and took your hands.

"I think he saw the same thing I always heard in your voice when talking to you over the phone," she replied. "Jungkook saw how much you needed to find the Christmas spirit within you."

"I don't want the Christmas spirit and I certainly don't want it here," you snapped.

But that was not true. You really thought you didn't want to remember Christmas more than you needed, but when you arrived at that inn and relived many things from your childhood, you realized that finding the Christmas spirit might not be that bad.

"Maybe you should finish the inspection and go back to Seoul then." It wasn't Lisa who answered, as you expected. It was Jimin, who was standing in the bedroom door with the same neutral expression on his face. But once again you saw the sorrow in the brown eyes for a second.

You didn't want to admit it, but hearing that from Jimin hurt you too. However, you should not expect him to ask you to stay. In eight years, he had never tried to convince you to come back. Even when you decided to leave, Jimin didn't insist that you stay. And when you left, you promised yourself that you would not look back, for that would only bring sadness.

"I think you can see that the rooms are spotless," he added.

"I hear she makes a point of inspecting every room of the places she goes," Lisa said, trying to help you through that awkward moment. But you also wanted to get it over with.

"I know everyone is doing their best, so I think I can accept these three rooms as an example of your good work," you said, leaving the room with Jimin.

"Will you at least stay for lunch?" Lisa asked as she watched you and Jimin return to the stairs.

"I have to be in Seoul early tomorrow, so I should leave as soon as I'm done."

"She doesn't want to stay, Lisa," Jimin said, but didn't look at you, just at your friend. “She didn't even want to come. So let's let her do her job and say goodbye.”

Lisa didn't answer, just sighed and nodded before looking at you and raising her eyebrows in a silent question. You didn't want to answer either, though. You knew everyone was wondering if you and Jimin would end up talking about everything. But you didn't want that to happen, you just wanted to end that visit to the past right away.

The rest of the inspection went pretty fast, with Jimin taking you through the inn's rooms and you just watching everything and writing down what you needed to put in the report. But you weren't really taking notes. You were so aware of Jimin's presence in every room of this inn that you couldn't think of work.

It was only when you arrived at the stable that you decided it was time to kick the elephant out of the room.

"Jimin," you called, stopping him from opening the door for you to look at the place.

He turned to you with raised eyebrows and neutral expression from before. It wasn't making you sad anymore, it was pissing you off. How could he be so indifferent to your presence?

"Aren't you bothered that I'm here?" The question came out before you could think of asking it.

Jimin frowned and watched you for another minute before opening the door behind him and entering the stable without answering you. That made you even angrier.

"Don't you mind that I came to do this work?" You asked as you walked behind him.

Inside, everything was very hot, as if it wasn't starting to snow outside. This was the only place that had changed in the entire inn. What was once a stable was now a storehouse, mostly of firewood and coal.

“As you can see, only this place has changed,” he said, answered your surprise but not your question. “The horses got old and needed to be sacrificed. Money was short and horse values were high, so we need to save money and forget about this little detail of the inn. But we made good use of the place, storing the wood so no one would have to brave the cold to keep the house warm.”

"Yes, I can see it," you agreed as you looked around.

When you turned to Jimin again, he was standing behind the closed door, looking at you.

"You didn't answer me," you insisted, stopping in front of Jimin. If you needed to work it out, it better be done sooner than later.

"I'm not bothered that you are here," he finally answered. “And I don't mind that you came. Like I said when we met earlier, it's good to see you again.”

You stood there waiting for him to continue, for him to tell you what he was thinking and feeling, as he used to do when you were younger and together. But Jimin said nothing more, just stared at you.

"That’s it?" You whispered, then cleared your throat and repeated the question. You didn't want to admit it, but Jimin's lack of eloquence was bothering you more than his neutral expression.

But suddenly everything changed. Jimin frowned and took a step toward you. You were so surprised you stepped back.

"What did you expect me to say?" He asked, this time advancing more than one step and backing you to the point of nearly knocking over a pile of freshly cut wood. Even so, jimin didn't stop until he was inches away from you. “What did you expect me to say, Y/N? Did you expect me to be upset? That I'd scream and kick you out? Or did you expect me to cry and get on my knees so you won't leave again?”

"I..." You couldn't finish it, you were too focused on the thick lips that formed the words spoken to make you feel bad. You were more focused on the mouth than the words, in fact.

"What do you want me to say?” He continued, “Want me to ask you what life was like in Seoul? Want me to show interest in the girl who left me or in the woman who came back for just a second? Do you think you were the only one who tried to forget? Do you think you were the only one who suffered from everything that happened?”

“No. I…” Once again you couldn't finish it. The words didn't hurt you but puzzled you. You had never really thought about the suffering of others, only yours and Jungkook's. You just wanted the pain to pass.

But it was never gone. You had never forgotten or felt better. Being away from that place hadn't changed a thing. But being there, with all the people you loved (or nearly all of them since Jungkook had stayed in Seoul with his girlfriend), was changing everything. You needed to tell Jimin that, but he didn't seem too willing to hear you.

"You weren't the only one who suffered, Y/N," he said. Then he put his hands on your face, framing it delicately. “Your parents were very important to me too. Jungkook was my best friend. And you were… Your are..."

Jimin swallowed hard as you saw the accumulated sorrow in his eyes that used to smile as much as his lips. Without thinking, you put one hand over his hand on your cheek and put your other hand over his chest, feeling the throbbing beat. As soon as you realized that Jimin was as affected by the reunion as you were, the words came out easily.

"I’m so sorry. I just wanted to get away and think and try to feel something again. When the accident happened… When my parents died, I felt like I had gone numb. It was as if no feeling could reach me. So I needed to try to forget what had happened to feel something, anything, again.”

That made Jimin back off, ending any physical contact between you.

“I went to Seoul with the intention of running away from what I wasn't feeling,” you continued, because you needed to explain to him why you had abandoned him… And why you still missed him. "But it didn't work. I spent eight years away from here, away from everyone, away from you. But it did not work. I tried to run away to feel something again, but all I could feel was longing. So when I noticed that, I was afraid. If I came back, what would happen? Would I be numb again? Would I even stop missing you? But I was wrong, Jimin. It was just getting here for me to realize that. And I'm so sorry it took so long.”

Jimin stared at you in silence, without interrupting or expressing any reaction. Then, suddenly, he advanced toward you again. Nonstop a few inches this time, Jimin held your face in his hands and sticked your mouths in a deep, hungry kiss. Eight years of longing and torment were laid in that kiss, as if one could never be satisfied with the other.

"Stay with me," Jimin said then, when you managed to stop kissing for a second. He kept his forehead to yours and looked into your eyes, where you could see everything you had ever loved and that you still loved. “Stay here today, at least tonight. Spend Christmas with me... with us. Let me show you how much we miss you too.”

"I..."

When you couldn't finish what you were going to say, Jimin kissed you again, but greedily this time. He had already lost you once, he wouldn't lose you again.

"I couldn't come looking for you," he confessed, surprising you. “Jungkook said you needed time, so I gave you all the time you needed. When I was giving up, when I was about to go to Seoul to look for you, the manager retired and Jungkook asked me to keep the inn. I was going to say no, but he said I needed to keep the inn running as usual for when you come, for when you come back. I don't think he's ever played so dirty in his life, but it worked out great, and I stayed and gave you more time. When you showed up here today, I knew I needed to let you go fast or I would never let you go again.” He kissed you for the third time. A kiss that was so much more than the first two. He didn't just want to stop missing your kisses or to beg you to stay, Jimin wanted to dry your tears and erase all your sadness. "If you want to leave, you have to go now, or I won't be able to give you more time."

You didn't need to think anymore. Since you saw him that morning and all the time you spent with him going around the place you loved and missed the most, you threw your arms around Jimin's neck and kissed him too. You didn't want to leave. As much as you didn't think you were ready for that, living there with him was all you wanted most.

"I don't need more time," you answered. "Don't let me go again."

Smiling, Jimin dropped his hands from your face and grabbed your waist, pulling you against his body.

"No need to ask again, my love."

[marvelswinterfrost]

1943

Summary: Set in the year 1943. The first Stark Expo is about to take place in Queens and a very interested Bucky drags Steve with him. To his dismay, his best friend didn’t seem to share the same excitement he felt. Luckily there are plenty of people around him who do, especially one black haired man he’d love to spend more time with.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Loki Laufeyson, Steve Rogers Pairing: 40s!Bucky Barnes x Loki Laufeyson Genre: tiny bit of fluff Words: - Warnings: war (mentioned)

A/N: Sorry, this is NOT a STUCKY fic. They’re just bros in this one. Really good bros though.  I might add one or two more chapters as well but idk.

Chapter One | Chapter Two ...

Masterlist

…

Bucky was walking down the street, his hands in the pockets of his pants. It was getting late, the evening sun slowly replacing the bright, warm light of the day. He’d heard that a science fair was taking place somewhere. Howard Stark himself, the man of the future, brought old and young together to admire one of his latest inventions. It was being kept a secret, but Bucky felt like it would be something that would change their lives forever.

He hadn’t told Steve yet. The small boy had been too busy, finding a way into the military to serve in the war. Without luck. Bucky was glad he couldn’t manage to enlist yet, even if it was one of the biggest dreams. He knew Steve was stubborn, he wouldn’t give up that easily, and the brown-haired man knew it. But this tiny boy from Brooklyn was so fragile. His medical issues, his height, poor boy had so much heart; too much heart. But nevertheless, he thought that Steve might need a break from all of this. So here he was, walking down the main street, the sun setting behind him and on his way to get his best friend. He was probably causing trouble somewhere. Always picking fights with people much taller than himself. Damn fool.

As if Bucky had known, there was a small voice coming from a nearby alley telling someone to fuck off. “Steve...” Bucky sighed and shook his head. It wasn’t anything new. He’d saved the smaller man so often it became a second job. He entered the small path, seeing his best friend barely standing straight anymore, his lip bleeding and a tall guy hovering above him, keeping Steve from running away. `As if he’d run’, Bucky thought and smirked a little.

“Hey! Why don’t you pick on someone your size?” The soldier yelled as he dragged the aggressive man away from Steve. With a punch to the face, he went away, mumbling something under his breath.

“Stevie-“Bucky smirked, his head and chin raised a little bit. “I recall me telling you to stay out of fights you can’t win?”

Steve straightened his jacket with a loud huff. Having asthma and trying to fight a guy 4 times his size didn’t mix well.

“He started it, Buck.”

“Of course-“said Bucky. It was barely audible and more of a sigh than an answer.

“He was talking incredibly loud during the news. People were trying to pay attention!” Steve continued defending himself. Bucky had already slung an arm around the other man’s shoulder and led him out to the main street again.

“Look, I care about you, alright, Steve?” the taller man said. “I don’t wanna read in the newspapers some day that a tiny, slim, blond boy was found dead on the streets beaten to death by a maniac. All just because you’re too stubborn to run.”

“I can’t do that, Buck.”

“I know.” He sighed. “But do it for me, alright?” Bucky looked at his friends with pleading eyes. When he received a tiny nod, he smiled. “Good! Now let’s go!”

“Where are we going?” Steve asked as Bucky dragged him forward.

“The future!”

About 20 minutes later they stepped onto the grass covering the ground of the expo area.

“Can you smell it, Stevie? The future smells amazing.” Bucky laughed and spun around a little.

“Sure, if you like the smell of gasoline.” He shrugged, putting a strand of his hair away from his face.

5 minutes later Howard Stark came up on the stage. Bucky’s heart started beating faster at the sight of a big object being brought in after him, hidden underneath a large blanket. “Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the future!” he began. Bucky was utterly amazed. Even more so when the man on the stage pulled the blanket from the now exposed object.

“A car?” Bucky said, the disappointment lingering in his voice. But was soon washed away once the wheels were suddenly taken off. “What the hell?”

“-but this isn’t a normal car, Ladies and Gentlemen. No! Before us lays a future where wheels are no longer needed!” Stark went on about how his new invention will change all of humanity and Bucky listened to every word he said.

“You’re drooling, Buck.” Steve laughed and looked around the expo, clearly looking for something. Bucky thus came out of his daze and smiled.

“How can you not when looking at this car?”

“Oh, I don’t think it’ll do very well.” Came a deep voice from beside the soldier. Bucky turned around with a smug grin.

“No? Why’s that?” his grin only getting wider when he saw the man standing in front of him. He let his eyes wander the tall man’s body up and down, licking his lips.

“The construct seems rather unstable. Once it takes off, it will fall apart within seconds.” The stranger now smiling as well. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, but his eyes remained where they were. Looking straight forward to the stage to see if he was right. Bucky joined him.  

To his surprise, the stranger was right. The car hovered over the ground for about 10 seconds before it came right back down again. He gulped.

“There’s no way you didn’t know what was going to happen beforehand.” Bucky laughed as he turned to the stranger again. Pleased with himself, he let his focus wander to the uniformed soldier, admiring how it fit his muscular body.

“I didn’t. But I’ll be glad to tell you how I could guess what was going to happen.. sometime.” He gave Bucky a cheeky wink. The soldier stared at the man, his mouth hanging slightly open in a big smile. His head started nodding automatically, as if an unknown force had taken control over his body.

Steve, reading the situation well, cleared his throat, hoping to gain the attention of his best friend again to tell him he’d be off to try his luck, enlisting again, but he failed. Bucky’s attention was drawn to the handsome stranger in an olive-green suit. Steve tried again. This time he succeeded.

“Hey, Buck. I’m off trying my luck again, alright? Don’t wait for me, it’ll probably take a while.” He said, keeping a few strands of hair from covering his face yet again.

“Sure, Stevie. Make sure they won’t catch you, okay? I don’t wanna bail you out again.” Bucky turned back to the tall man and smiled again. “But I think I’m going to be busy as well.”  

“Yeah, whatever. Just don’t win the war until I get there, okay?” Steve gave him a tight hug, standing on his toes so that Bucky wouldn’t have to come all the way down. “Whatever you say, punk.”

“Jerk.” And Steve went off.

“Are you going to be drafted soon?” the black-haired man said. Raising his right eyebrow, a bit.

“Yeah, day after tomorrow. What about you? You’re one of the only men hear not wearing a uniform.” Bucky looked the man up and down once more. He was dressed in an olive-green three-piece suit, dark brown leather shoes and a tie. The hat sitting loosely on his head, making some of the black strands of hair on the back visible.

“You’re not from here, are you?” Bucky asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m afraid not, soldier.” He chuckled.

“James, actually.” He laughed, looking the other man directly in his eyes. “But you can call me Bucky as well.” Bucky said as he held out his hand. The stranger took it gratefully.

“Loki.”

“Loki?” the soldier asked amused. “That’s an odd name. Where are you from?”

“From far away.” He smirked.

“Alright, I see you’re keeping it a secret. Sure hope I’m not flirting with a spy.” Bucky chuckled, but kept the eye-contact.

Loki reached for the soldier’s arm and dragged him gently away from the crowd. Bucky wasn’t used to be the one being led but feeling the big but gently hand guiding him off the expo area was…enjoyable?  Just outside they came to a halt.

“I hope you don’t mind but it was getting really crowded and I prefer a calmer atmosphere.” Loki said in a soft voice. His hand was still laying on Bucky’s arm, not that he minded.

“A calm atmosphere at an expo? You’re so strange.” Bucky took a step closer, letting Loki’s hand drop from his arm to his waist. Luckily the other man understood what he was trying to say and grabbed it gently. Didn’t matter how Loki held him, it was always so god damn gentle. Bucky pressed him a little bit against the wall they were standing in front of. To their luck, most of the people were still busy looking at Stark’s inventions than standing in the dark at the back-entrance.

“I don’t think we should do this out here in the open, but I really have the desire to kiss you right now.” Bucky whispered softly, getting closer and closer.

“Why not do it? I’ve got my hands under your uniform already anyway. If they stare, then they stare.”

“Mhm, as much as I like to, I can’t risk anyone seeing me and snitching on me.” He pulled back, taking Loki’s hands from his hips and holding them in his. “Someone’s gotta win the war, you know? And I can’t do that when I’m getting kicked out of the military now, can I?”

“I hate to see you being part of something so cruel.” Loki shoved Bucky’s hat a little bit back so that a few of his brown strands of hair fell forward.

“You’ve known me like 30 minutes.” Bucky laughed, finally taking off his hat.

“I know a kind man when I see one.” Loki replied softly, kissing the other man’s forehead. “We should get going now, shouldn’t we? To do the `thing’ we shouldn’t be doing in public.” He laughed.

“Well, what are you waiting for then, doll?”

[spaceskam]

after last night's ep... Would it be possible for you to write Alex actually not forgiving them? Like, ok you want to be together that's great but that's not how you do things and that's not what friends do.

i saw this right before i went to bed and i had to write it as soon as i got up. idk if this is exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it regardless! thanks for the prompt!

Alex was angry.

He and Michael Guerin had a long, rocky history, but not once in those ten years had they ever stood one another up.  Yet, here he was.  Alex had finally become emotionally available, had finally been able to say the things Michael said so often, and… he was alone.

Alex sat outside the airstream until the sunset, each hour that passed making him feel more and more sick with rage.  For a moment, he was worried.  What if something happened?  Michael had been so frantic the night before, maybe something he was hurt and that’s why he stood him up?  But, honestly, that was nothing more than wishful thinking.  Michael was capable.  And apparently, he was also an asshole.

After hours in the heat, Alex gave up.  He put himself out there, if Michael wanted to talk, he’d have to reach out this time.  He didn’t care that for a decade he’d been the one walking away‒he never stood him up.  Who does that to someone you love without so much as a phone call?

The car started with a rumble and he drove to the only place he knew to go when he was feeling like shit: The Wild Pony.  Alex hadn’t talked to Maria much since that stupid revelation she’d slept with the guy he loved, but he knew they were overall going to be okay.  She promised it would never happen again, that it was nothing more than a moment of weakness.  He understood that.  It hurt, but he understood.

However, what he couldn’t understand, is why Michael was sitting at the bar without a drink in hand.  Alex took a heavy breath as he slowly started making his way towards the man who had left him waiting all day without explanation.  He wanted that explanation.

And he got it when Maria leaned over the bar and kissed him.

Alex froze.  His heart was slamming in his chest so loud he couldn’t even hear the music in the bar.  Michael waited until he was ready to just turn around and drop him.  It felt like some sort of sick revenge for the last ten years that he couldn’t wrap his head around.  He’d apologized, he’d made it clear what he wanted: he wanted Michael.  For real this time, no hiding and no games.  He’d laid it on the line.  For what?  To be stood up and to watch his best friend lie and the love of his life not even give him a second thought?

That wasn’t Michael.  Michael wouldn’t do that.

And yet he had.

Just before Alex could leave to go figure out how he was going to deal with this in private, Maria spotted him.  He watched as her face fell as if she magically just remembered that he was a thing.  Alex wanted to scream. What happened to being best friends?  Best friends don’t go after a guy they know you love.  She knew.  She knew it’d been a decade of fucking and fighting and never being on the same page.  But clearly, she didn’t care enough.

“Alex?” she said with panic in her voice.  Maria stood up straight, all the guilt in the world on her face.  He didn’t feel bad‒she should feel guilty.  But it wasn’t until Michael Guerin turned around without any regret what-so-ever that Alex was able to leave.

He ran.  High school Alex took over and he ran.  He ignored the sound of his name being called as he desperately tried to make it to his car before he did something stupid or embarrassing.  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Alex, wait!” Michael caught his arm just as he reached the door of his car.  Alex shoved him off, facing the opposite direction to hide the fact he was about five seconds away from sobbing.  “We need to talk.”

“We really don’t.  Leave me alone.” Alex spat, fumbling with his keys.  His hands were shaking too bad to find the right key.

“No, we need to talk.” Michael pressed again, a softness in his voice that on any other day with any other context would’ve had him agreeing.  But it wasn’t any other day.  It was today, the day Michael chose a fling over ten years of trying to get to the same place.

“What do you have to say to me, then?  That you’re sorry?  Because you’re not sorry!  You stood me up so you could, what, come fuck my best friend?!  Who does that?!” Alex yelled, finally looking at him.  He tried to push away any semblance of shame of the tears that rolled down his cheeks.  He hoped they hurt Michael.

“It’s not like that, it’s not… I didn’t even consider the fact that she was your friend.  My life is just so fucked up right now and, and everything is tied up in you, Alex.  I need to figure shit out.” Michael tried.  Alex scoffed, shaking his head.

“So, you know what you do in that situation?  You tell me that.  You should have come to the junkyard and told me you needed space and I would’ve given it to you.  But, instead, you just jumped into bed with my best friend.  No, no, I’m not letting you think that’s okay or excusable.  You… That isn’t something my Michael would do.  My Michael tells me everything on his mind and wears his heart on his sleeve.  He doesn’t stand me up like a fucking coward.  I don’t even know who you are.” Alex spat.  Michael’s bottom lip was shaking and he looked more than a little wounded.  Alex wiped his own tears away, never breaking the eye contact that he hoped made Michael realize that he was in the wrong on so many levels.

“I-I… I’m sorry.  My head just, I‒”

“Literally nothing you could say could excuse this.  Nothing she could say could excuse this.  I… You are the two people closest to me in the world, so why did you try so hard to hurt me?” Alex asked.  Michael raked his hands through his hair, his breathing heavy as he tried to keep calm.

“It wasn’t to hurt you, Alex!  I wasn’t even thinking about you!” Michael defended.  Even though it clearly was supposed to be some sort of defense, it just felt like a punch in the gut.  Michael, the boy who supposedly never looked away, had forgotten him within a few hours of as promising they’d talk about where to go from here.  This really wasn’t him.

“You do realize you were the one who asked to talk this morning, right?  You were the one who…” Alex’s voice cracked, silencing him for a moment as she tried to compose himself.  Why did he have to love him so much?  Why couldn’t he just forget him?  “Look, I know I took too long.  I’m years late.  But I couldn’t be with you back then.  It would’ve been so unfair to you because I wasn’t… available.  Then the fucking minute I’m able to be fair to you, to love you like you deserve to be loved, you drop me?  I… I don’t even want to look at you.”

Michael’s whole body looked broken as he leaned against Alex’s truck for support.  His whole body was shaking and he was borderline sobbing, desperately pawing at his face to try to compose himself through sharp breaths.  That’s when Alex noticed.

“Oh… I see.  Your hand.” Alex whispered, a whole new lump forming in his throat.  Looking at it, you never would’ve thought it was fucked up in the first place.  It felt like a personal ‘fuck you’.  “You’re all better now, so you want something normal?  Is that it?” Michael’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion before he realized Alex’s focus was on his hand.

“What?  No.  No.  Max-Max did this without asking.” Michael sniffled, shaking his head, “It still fucking hurts like a bitch.  I think it hurts worse than before.  I-I… Alex, please.”

“No.  No, fuck you. Here I was thinking you were my family… No, actually, you are.  Because everyone in my family feels like it’s okay to hurt me.” Alex whispered harshly, his eyes unable to move from his stupid fucking hand.  Everything felt so unfair.  Why were two of his favorite people in the world showering him in pain?  What did he do to deserve that?

“You want me to tell her I can’t?  I will.  I will, Alex.  I’m sorry, okay?  I’m sorry.” Michael gushed, taking a step forward.  Alex put his hand in front of him, silencing him as he moved to open his car door.

“Do what you want.  You knew I was waiting for you, this isn’t a decision you made thinking I wasn’t in.  I was all in, Guerin.  You fucked up this time.” Alex spat, stepping into his car. Michael held the door open.

“Alex, I’m sorry.” he pleaded.

You’re not forgiven.” Alex said simply, slamming the door shut, “Tell Maria she isn’t either.”

And he drove off with one intention: to get the fuck out of Roswell for good.

[tequila-clifford]

Not the anon from that question, bu still lowkey curious about your NYC story?

Lorddddd, here we go, okay. SO Kortni and I are from Maryland, Amanda (@angelbabycal) is from Philadelphia, obviously a lot closer to NYC; 3 days before the show, Kort and I went to stay with Amanda. 

7/20/2014 We had been running errands all day in preparation for the trip: Getting waters and snacks to put in our backpacks and getting what we needed to make our posters for the show. We finally got back to Amanda’s house and after eating dinner, we immediately started working on our signs (I will include photos of them at the end of this post) Let’s estimate and say we started working on them around 5pm??

7/21/2014 We worked straight through until 6am (about 18 hours without sleep at this point), at that point we were taking turns to shower and packing up our bags, whoever wasn’t in the shower was using a hair dryer on the signs. We were being picked up at 7am and taken to the train station in Trenton, NJ. When we got to the station, Kortni was in charge of getting the tickets, WELL, she accidentally got the amtrak (or however tf you spell it) tickets which were like $200 EACH so that was STRESSFUL. I think we had like an hour until our train got there, so we were sitting, waiting. Then I started to feel sooooooo sick ( probably wasn’t the best idea to have been drinking all night while making our posters) I made approximately 27 trips to the bathroom in the span of an hour and I was FREAKING OUT bc we were about to get on a train to NYC and I was sick as fuck, but I was NOT about to bitch out and not go to this fucking concert. When our train arrived, I was finally starting to feel a little better; I went right back to stressing when the 3 of us got separated on the train bc there was so many people. We made it to Penn Station (and reunited) around 9:15am, I think? We had never been to NYC, none of us, so we found a map and made our way to Rockefeller Center (around 10 am?) to get our wristbands. When we finally got there, there was no one in giving out bands, but it was impossible to miss all of the other people from 5sos Fam, (when Luke tweeted about the fam literally taking over the city, he wasn’t lying) so we asked around and found out where to go. We finally found the line with other fans to get wristbands (10:30ish), and idk security I guess(?) was putting people into cages barricades. LET. ME. TELL. YOU. these barricades each had 25+ girls and they couldn't have been larger than the size of a parking space, we sat for OVER 3 HOURS. IN THE SUN. IN THE MIDDLE OF JULY. We had been awake for about 25 hours when we FINALLY got our bands and were released from band jail, but not before being told that we could NOT wait in Rockefeller center for the show, and that if we came back before 6:30am the following morning, we would be escorted away by the police. Oh, I failed to mention, WE HAD NOWHERE TO STAY BC WE HAVE VV GOOD IDEAS WITH VV BAD PLANNING. So, we had about 16 hours to kill before they opened the barricades back up for the show the following morning. So, we essentially walked around the city the entire time; which’ is not a v smart thing to do when A. you’re wearing vans and B. you have thick thighs. (y’all KNOW what I’m talking about). Later in the afternoon, the 3 of us went to Build-A-Bear to make ourselves Ninja Turtles: Michelangelo for me, bc Michael. Donatello for Amanda, bc Cal. Leonardo for Kortni, bc Luke. And we made Raphael for Guro, bc Ash. So now, on top of our backpacks, we were also 3 dumb asses carrying around stuffed Ninja Turtles. Like I said, v bad planning. Throughout the day, we met tons of people from the Fam which was AMAZING, even stuck together as a big group for awhile walking around the city and to what we thought was the boys hotel (but i’m not about all that stalker shit so we only stood across the street for maybe 20 minutes before we went our seperate ways) At this point it was probably close to 10 pm, we had been awake since noon the day before and we were running on adrenaline. We decided we needed to go change into the clothes we’d brought for the show and to clean up however we could. We walked for about 45 minutes to Grand Central (taking our time bc we had hours to kill still) to use their bathrooms and freshen up then we sat on the floor there for probably close to an hour charging our phones and trying to get even a little bit of rest.We didn’t want to get in trouble for being there so we eventually left and slowly made our way back towards Rockefeller Plaza. These places are not that far apart, but i’m telling you, after walking nonstop all day, it felt like hours. 

7/22/2014 It was 1 or 2am when we finally got to a place we could sit down, of course as soon as we did, we started dozing off and CAN’T DO THAT IN NYC we were told by police that we had to move, so up we were again with another like 2 and a half hours before the barricades would be opened So we walked some more until we decided to stop and finish getting ready; obviously it was still dark outside, so us getting ready consisted of one of us holding the flashlight on our phone and one of us holding a front facing camera while the other did their makeup. When we were just about finished, we saw people RUNNING towards the plaza. IT WASN’T EVEN 5:30AM AND THEY HAD STARTED LETTING PEOPLE INTO THE BARRICADES. OUT. OF. ORDER. So the wristbands that we had with numbers in the 100′s (meaning we should have been in the second group) now meant absolutely nothing AND bc we were told the barricades wouldn’t be open until 6:30am, we were now in the second to last group. We sat in those cages barricades until they finally started letting people in, and when I saw them letting in every single group ahead of us, I was literally fighting back tears. The Today Show is 100% GA so we were packed in tight, and I have been to GA shows before so when I tell you tight, I mean TIGHT.  We stood for about 35 minutes before the boys came out for their soundcheck and fans behind us immediately started trying to push their way forward (like where tf you think you’re gonna go? We are literally in the Azkaban of concert seating rn) . We were so far back that we could hardly see the tops of their heads. The 3 of us literally felt like we were dying, I don’t know if you’ve experienced like 40 hours of no sleep, (plus walking 80% of those 40 hours) but it really fucking hurts. Amanda and I were leaning against one another to literally keep from collapsing, our legs felt like jello and we were dizzy from exhaustion. THEN the girl standing behind me NOT ONLY started kicking my legs AND “accidentally” pulling my hair, SHE WAS TRYING TO STEAL MY NINJA TURTLE FROM MY BACKPACK. Now if this had been under normal circumstances, I would have given her a warning before literally beating her ass for putting her hands on me, but, I was in no condition to start and altercation. The boys finshed their soundcheck, which I now have zero recollection of, and we tried to hold out until they came back on. After about 30 minutes (if that, honestly this part is pretty fuzzy bc i was half dead) we physically could not stand anymore, we flagged down the nearest security guard and asked if he could let us out. They had the streets blocked off a 1/4 mile in each direction surrounding the plaza, he told us that we had to be outside of the perimeter once we left the barricades. We were devastated but the alternative was to be carried out by medics bc there was NO WAY IN HELL we would have lasted in that crowd. Let me tell you, when you work that hard to see your favorite band, when you’re so fucking close and then it doesn't happen, it’s awful. When you work that hard to see your favorite band, and they start their set, the second you’re outside of the 1/4 mile radius, it is soul crushing. I’m pretty sure we cried the entire way to Penn Station. It was barely 8am and our train back home didn’t come in until 4pm. We finally made it there and slept in the chair all day. refusing to speak of anything that had happened, and then slept on the train home. We walked back into Amanda’s house without peeping a word about “How was it?!” and we passed out on her floor for 16 straight hours, woke up to pee and eat, then crashed for another 12.

 I am telling you, that entire New York experience remains one of the most disheartening things I’ve ever gone through,  It made me lose hope that I would ever meet them or even see them again. I had spent so long defending them to everyone who made fun of me for loving them so much, then to go through that, I like mentally shut down. I know that sounds dramatic, but that makes it no less accurate. I became inactive on my blog and essentially gave up, I tried to move on from 5sos and I regret it so fucking much. Now I’m 23 and loving them more than ever because I finally realized how much they got me through and that no ones opinion of them matters but mine. 

Amanda's poster front and back

My poster front and back

I’m sorry this was hella crazy long btw 😅 but yeah. That's my NYC story.

Ask is always open!