#I’m going to eat food
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Maybe my anxiety comes from the fact I didn’t have an actual dinner yesterday. Who knows why it’s here. Who knows why it makes me hate myself.
#I’m going to eat food#ignore this#ignore the below tags especially#I’m an obligation and I wish other people were free of me#I’m so tired of making people put up with me#and I’m tired of hating myself#I think I’m too broken to care for#maybe it would be better to just cut everyone out to save them from me#maybe I should eat something#maybe I should throw my phone in the River
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i hate you fad diets i hate you skinny teas i hate you detoxes i hate you meal replacements i hate you ‘carb-free’ i hate you fasting i hate you body checks i hate you stupid fucking internet repackaging the habits that ruined my life over and over and over again
#ramble#tw ed#if i see another ad for an overpriced meal replacement powder/drink subscription box i will break a window#the amount of shit i see that’s just eating disorders with extra steps makes me insane#there are no bad foods you moron just eat the bread you’re going to die one day#ok to reblog i’m just Heated
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y’all will never see me as an actual bbw model or making scenario/stuffing content of any sort because i am a TERRIBLE actor.
no i cant do a cute little moan and rub my belly after a funnel session, im literally about to pass out and need to be tucked into bed
#idk. it’s so hard for me to even do eating videos bc#i either focus completely on food and zone out#or i’m so preoccupied w filming/whatever else that no eating gets done#plus. i can’t lie y’all#i have 0 appetite rn#i go to bed hungry bc eating sounds tiring 😭 i need to live alone again so bad#i miss weekly trader joe’s trips#and being able to cook what i want without comment#manifesting a job near the river. amen#talk
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everyone say thank you to dunmeshi for somewhat helping me rekindle my relationship with food via me thinking “Senshi would be proud if I ate a healthy dinner, actually” .
is it silly ? incredibly. is it helpful ? incredibly.
#I have a lot of problems w/ nausea and eating#and I don’t really like food very much#And I’ve also been sick for days bc I haven’t been able to eat#BUT#it’s a good motivator to keep going when I can get food down#yes it’s silly I’m aware of it but also#I don’t have a therapist rn so this is as close to that as I can get slash half joke#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#senshi dunmeshi
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Who thinks I need to feed this fat little belly tonight?
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Sharing a meal
I wrote something for this below the cut if you’re interested :)
They never eat anything too tasty, surviving with packeted rations and canned food in their journey. Sometimes they would stop at a little restaurant and eat a nice meal; it really tasted like something gourmet after days of going with grain bars and dry jerky.
There were fleeting moments in between conversations in which one of them would remember some dish, from back in the day when things were easier and they didn’t worry about too many things. They never went deeper into the topic, just mentioning how they missed a good meal.
Staying at an inn or any motel was an expensive thing to pay for. However sometimes they had some extra money from an odd job Vash did or from Wolfwood’s undertaker services, and they would always rent a room as a treat for themselves.
It was a surprise when they entered the room and saw a small kitchen. The space was a little too cramped but it had everything they needed, it was like a deluxe room when they though about all the places they had been at. None of them had a kitchen at all, maybe they had a tiny stove or a mini fridge, perhaps a table sometimes but never the whole set together.
They both looked at each other to confirm they really were seeing the thing, smiling excitedly.
They could make a meal for themselves.
Vash knew how to cook, he had done some work on kitchens throughout his life. A few times he helped Rem when he was a child, he knows how to defend himself. Yet he didn’t know any recipes by heart, not any that would be inside their budget at least. He could get creative and probably whip up a thing or two if he was given enough time.
“I know what to do” Wolfwood said with a smile that irradiated a melancholic warmth interrupting his thoughts . A smile Vash had only seen when he talked about the things he loved.
Vash didn’t suggest anything in the end and just followed what the other man told him to do.
He went to buy all the things Wolfwood asked him for. Vegetables and some thoma meat. There seemed to be some spices in the room so he only bought garlic and onion as per Wolfwood’s request.
When Vash got back, he found Nick at the table arranging the ingredients the kitchen already had. He was already showered, hair messy and with droplets of water hanging on the tips. Getting closer, he could smell the soap, the cheap shampoo and the lingering scent of nicotine that never seemed to go away. He was changed into a black, long sleeved shirt and a pair of loose dark blue pants.
His overall appearance made Vash think how the edges of the man were less sharp, he seemed more relaxed and at ease, even if it wasn’t entirely the case. He just looked, soft.
“Hey welcome back, did you bring what I asked you for or will I have to use your meat for this?” Wolfwood greeted him without looking up from his task, the ingredients being the most interesting thing in the world it seemed.
Something warm pooled at the pit of Vash’s stomach, he didn’t know why that was and didn’t bother to think about it either, just enjoying the feeling.
Smiling, he placed the bags on the table in front of Wolfwood, taking out its contents. “I’m sure I brought everything yeah, I hope my life can be spared”.
The priest snorted at him and grabbed a potato that was rolling off the table. “Aight then, make yourself useful and start washing these and then chop ‘em to reasonable bitable sizes”. Losing no time, he took the meat and was cutting it while giving out the instructions.
While Vash was washing and chopping, the other was already preparing the meat putting it in a pot with boiling water. Once Vash was finished with all he was asked to do, Wolfwood ushered him to take a shower while the food was done, wanting to have more space in the narrow place. Vash did as told in that as well.
The shower felt great, all of the gross stickiness from the sweat and other things were finally washed off from his body. He felt light and a thousand times more content.
As he opened the door the smell hit him in the face, a delicious scent that surely tasted even better. Wolfwood was stirring the pot, poking some of the potatoes to make sure they were on the right term, and they seemed to be as he turned off the stove.
Vash got closer, mouth already watering just from the thought of how it’d taste “That smells so good! What did you make?” He asked with a big grin plastered all over his face.
Wolfwood pointed at the table with his hand, signaling him to sit down a little dismissively while he looked for the bowls on his own. It seemed like he was the kind that with less people on the kitchen when he was there, the better. “Just a broth, nothing too wow it’s something easy, and on budget”. Vash hummed with wonder and served two cups of water to busy himself with something.
Wolfwood poured the two servings of the broth, it was still hot and the bowl must surely be scalding. Yet Wolfwood’s calloused hands never flinched, placing their food on the table without much trouble along with a pair of long spoons.
“Be careful or you will murder your tongue” he warned and Vash chuckled.
“Thanks for the heads up chef, ‘preciate it” the other just scoffed at the title and sat down across him .
They both mixed the broth while blowing at it in hopes for it to cool down a little. However seeing how they were both starving and didn’t care too much about getting burnt or not, they just started to dig in.
Wolfwood was eating eagerly, having spoonful after spoonful of his food. He was beyond delighted. It had been a long time since he had the chance to prepare the broth he used to have back at the Orphanage.
“It’s…delicious” he heard Vash say in a low and calm tone. When he looked up to see the man, he was shocked to find him with reddish eyes that were glistening with tears. It didn’t seem like when was doing a show or anything of the sorts, he just seemed…at peace.
It wasn’t anything extravagant, quite possibly one of the most simple dishes Vash has ever eaten. It was made with the things that they could afford with the little money they could spare, the ingredients were definitely not of the best quality, the vegetables could have used a little more time on the pot. And it was delicious.
Vash felt incredibly warm inside, similar to how he felt when Wolfwood greeted him when he got back, just a thousand times stronger. The first sip he had of it tasted like the best thing ever cooked in his whole life, something he would have every day of the year for the rest of eternity. He didn’t know why that was at first, but after having a second spoon of it he could tell what it was.
It tasted like home.
The flavor of it, it was homely, the savor of melancholy. It tasted like their conversations about missing the past. The tang of the times they would have a peaceful night in the desert grilling worm meat around a campfire. It reminded him when he got sick and an old lady had given him a bowl of soup. It tasted like the first time Rem had given them a try of what meat and vegetables tasted like. It tasted like all the things he missed, and the things Nicholas most likely missed too.
The familiarity of it made him feel fuzzy and full on the inside, and he couldn’t stop eating. He was slow while doing it, wanting to savor every bit of what he could have while it lasted. It was rich, it was simple and it was perfect.
“…You want some more?” At some point, Nicholas had already finished his own bowl and brought the pot over to serve himself again. He looked at Vash with something soft in his eyes the other could not name, his voice was gentle and gravely, sweet and easy on his ears just adding more to the warmth inside of him.
“Yes…yes please” Vash answered, voice cracking a little. Nicholas served him, the sound of the liquid being poured soothing his soul.
Vash ate again, and Wolfwood was looking at him. The priest was taking small sips of water from his cup, always holding it against his mouth even if he wasn’t drinking anything. Vash didn’t really notice when he had started tearing up, thick streams of salty water running through his cheeks, a pool of them welling up at his chin and falling down the wooden table making a puddle of happy tears.
Vash enjoyed the heartfelt broth. He was happy, that bit of simplicity was enough to make him forget of everything else and just focus on that moment.
It was so mundane. Vash smiled with overflowing tears in his eyes while Wolfwood just watched with a fond smile of his own behind his empty cup of water.
At that moment, they were not in a random room at a random place. They were in a place where they had brought their home to, sharing a meal with each other.
#Vash just had his Ego moment#preparing food and eating together is a love language I can’t even begin to describe#and I mean eat EAT. like sitting down and enjoying the food to its fullest THAT kind of eat#delusional hours always open and it’s usually at it’s worst at the most questionable#time of the day ey aha HAHANEBWNNE#domestic Vashwood is my own personal absolutely peak favorite flavor of it as in any other thing ever#I said it earlier but I’ll say it again. domesticity and sharing simple moments are what makes life worth living#these two guys I bet rarely ever get to enjoy moments like these to their fullest so I’m doing this in honor of them never catching a break#this is special and this Vash is the cutest thing I’ve ever done#kinda wanna make him my pfp he’s so#AAAAAAA IM GOING INSANE IQNENW UEUJEHE#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#trigun fanart#vashwood#trigun maximun#trigun fanfiction#trigun fic#lenssi writes#lenssi draws#I wanted to see this so bad and then I was like oh wait I can just do it myself. like every time I draw or write abt them LMAOOOO
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After Danny is crowned Ghost King, Amity Park becomes detached from the mortal realm and is suspended between the two realms, much like Danny is. In an effort to combat this isolation from the rest of the world, Danny opens up his castle to the residents of Amity. (Not his Lair, just the castle he earned via conquest.)
Now the castle is more like a community center, and it’s constantly filled with both humans and ghosts coming and going. The Amity Parkers are already liminal, so visiting the Zone is actually healthy for them! The school takes the kids on regular field trips, ghost vs. human competitions get very heated, and overall everyone bonds over their shared freakiness and comes to terms with the fact they’ll never venture out into their world ever again.
But just because they’re detached from their world, doesn’t mean the residents of Amity can’t visit other worlds. :)
And it just so happens that their new community castle is filled to the brim with magic doors and ancient treasures to help aid on their noble quest of inter-dimensional grocery shopping.
#pondhead blurbs#danny phantom#ghost king danny#community castle au#liminal amity park#they can’t reattach to their world enough to allow anyone to leave#so for the sake of not going stir crazy#they refurbish the kings castle and it becomes just another part of amity#it’s a community center#people go to hang out or eat free food or raid the library#ghosts and humans mingle#it’s driving Walker nuts#this can work with any crossover#but I’m just thinking of like#Paulina popping into a Batburger in the DC verse to pick up some munchies for community movie night#orders a mountain of food and pays in emeralds the size of her fist#also she’s in like half armor cause she and star were taking javelin lessons from Pandora#gotta build some muscle if she wants to do that one flip at the football game next month#cheerleading is hard okay!#this is not the weirdest thing the Batburger employee has seen#but it’d be even funnier if Jason was walking by and she offered to hold the door for him#except it was the inter dimensional door and he just got kidnapped and invited to movie night#eh#he’ll go home in the morning#which is two weeks later for the dc verse#oh dear#dpxdc
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eulogy
#i was fully going to just wrangle my way through life for another 39 years when my friend said to me:#you are gay and we want you to submit art for the pride art show. but i hasn’t drawn at all since last year so i made a new comic from scr#i was also having one of the worst times of my life all of the past week but every night after sobbing into a friends shoulder or wtv#i’d sit down and draw. and then today i locked myself in the basement for 5#hours and now he is finished. trans allegory or whatever#happy pride#world is horrible so hold the people you love close#i am trying . succeeding? not really but definitely trying#i have gone now through the 5 stages of grief. 1) eat food 2) eat food 3) hit rock 4) hit rock 5) give up#i Give Up. i give up by living my life without giving a fuck#which is like. actually giving down. or taking away down#idk anyway#i hope you’re well i’m HANGING ON BY A THREAD. BUT A GOOD THREAD#and to my lgbsbfk homies: i love you#my art
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Yet another starbee dump (and some sad memes I made)
My friends called this “schröingers kiss”. Maybe I’ll paint it later (or not)
Made this one while listening to “the land is inhospitable and so are we”. Heaven is such a good track, mitski is such a great artist.
This one’s a meme lol
I don’t really like this next one but I spent way too long on it so it goes in the dump
It’s also a meme lol
Here’s more memes I made since I am the funniest ever/j
#this would have been out sooner if I didn’t spend like 2 hours on pt making a starscream skin#and also didn’t get food poisoning#that fucked me up for a bit#never eating target chicken egg roll again…#anyway Heaven is a banger#it sounds like love#it’s in my starbee playlist (both pt 1 and 2!)#ok I’m finished I’m going to try and not be food poisoned or something#transformers#maccadam#starscream#bumblebee#starbee#tfe starscream#tfe bumblebee#earthspark#earthspark bumblebee#earthspark starscream#hanaes scrapheap
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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gym stoner bf summer …
#rlly having a nice time hiking working out every dayyyyyyy swimming with my mannn eating good fucking food workingggg a lottt but not enough#…. eyes on next week lol I’m going to design a t shirt !!#I’m getting rlly strong I never thought I’d be a gym guy but I’m kind of obsessed .. goodbye personality only running + lifting now…#personal
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Just had a realization-
Gale cooking for the camp.
Gale desperate to prove he can help, he’s useful, he’s worth keeping around and protecting.
But also!
Gale who, after a year with the orb and loneliness, both haunting him in his tower with little reprieve, knows the feeling of hunger better than most. A hunger that isn’t satiated by food, but a hunger nonetheless.
Gale who, despite a year of isolation, doesn’t want his new companions to suffer the same hunger he does.
So he cooks.
He can keep their bellies full, even as they sate the hole in his heart and satisfy his bone deep hunger for companionship.
A meal shared with friends fills more than your belly, after all.
#Gale#character analysis#inspired by some art I just reblogged a bit ago#Haha Gale eats shoes and knifes haha-#remembers he cooks for the camp from the get go and mentions his food twice when asking to be allowed to stay/get magic items#it’s like he’s saying I know I’m a burden (he’s not but I bet he thinks it) but I can cook!!! I can do something that helps!#his cooking is such a fun contrast to his pride in his magic#humanity vs godhood type skills#cooking vs magic#yeah mystra is magic but can she do this? /cooks a 4 course meal that reminds you of home
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barfing very incomplete stanford thoughts here bc i need to get them out of my brain or i’ll actually explode
hypervigilance headcanon go brrrrr (this one prob isn’t new to y’all; it’s practically canon with how he acts & seems to be popular in the ford fan community from what i’ve seen, i just want to amp it up some more. turn up that there angst dial babey!). more to this: jumpy at many things including but not limited to fast/unexpected movements, loud/unexpected sounds, etcetera.
gets really annoyed when people pronounce et cetera “exetra”.
studied latin in college. like a fucking nerd
paranoia but what if we added More. i said TURN THE DIAL UPPPPPPPPPPP
journal 3 says he is excited to hear newest eurythmics chart topper so i’m assuming he’s a fan. i want mabel to show him new music. i’m definitely going to project my music taste onto mabel. i also want him to hear WAP for the first time. i think it would be funny.
he’s either aroace or bi all around or some combination of those thangs, ie he has the same amount of attraction to all genders which is either a “normal” amount or possibly less or none (yes i am projecting. it’s called being valid and sexy). in other words: he doesn’t really understand romantic or sexual attraction and tbh he doesn’t care to. he has more nerdy important things to do. that being said he has def dated fiddleford and had a thing with bill (i feel like “dated” definitely isn’t the right term for the relationship of ford and bill. idk man i’m having thoughts at a million miles per hour rn i’ll explain later or whatever)
legitimately believed for a large portion of his life that anyone who gets close to him is either a) evil and wants to hurt him/the people he cares about OR b) inevitably going to get hurt/killed (or worse) because of what he called “the stanford effect”; basically the thought that he is Cursed™️ so he must isolate himself to save others from the effects of the curse or whatever the fuck
despite all the shit he’s been through, he does not identify as superstitious. he is first and foremost a scientist babey.
during his time in the portal, he clung onto his identity as a scientist desperately. i hc that he had to do some really fucked up shit to survive out there, and that he kept a series of field journals (or just one digital field journal would be easier probably) documenting his experiences as a way to keep himself sane (or as sane as he could be given the situation).
#i have more thoughts but i need to eat so i’m going to post this and make food and then come back and see where my head is at lol#ford pines#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls headcanons#stanford pines headcanons#ford gravity falls#stanford pines angst#stanford pines trauma#i gotta add all these tags so the ford angst bitches find me bc i CANT be alone in this i REFUSE#(banging two pans together in the air) COME GET YALL JUICE#atlas says stuff#my stuff
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♠️♣️ Play your card ♥️♦️
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#husk#was origionally going to base it of the king of hearts card but#then I was like a joker is more fitting#and then I was like nah he’s not a joker he’s a looser#my poor pathetic meow meow#I am grabbing him by the scruff of his neck and DRAGGING him#I have embedded so many headcanons in this like one of my friends said I could sell it at my stall in the summer#but it is so personalised to me I don’t think anyone would want it#right down to the different whiskers#and I said it on Instagram and I will say it again but chunky husk is peak male performance#this guy only drinks alcohol and only eats the shortest of foods#and you know he doesn’t exercise who are you kidding#it was oh so gracious of me to not give him a hunch back because we all know his old bones and fucked ahahaha#anyway enjoy#if this gets enough attention I’ll make a matching angle dust one but idk I’m happy with just leaving it as this guy#hazbin husk
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Little baby boy baby
I’ve got this thought that togruta’s coloring will be all washed out and faded when malnourished, and becomes brighter and more vibrant the healthier they are. So, have fun with that
#babykin#togruta anakin Skywalker#togrutakin#myart#I’m on a togrutakin kick today#if tog coloration is tied to their health then you know Vader is a washed out bitch under that suit#speaking of I need to design a tog vader#what do the hyenas call togruta Vader again?#oh right. it’s tograder#me every time babykin in mentioned: hey hey. you ever think about how the child slave character was probably starved?#you ever think about all the fucking health issues that poor kid probably had? that his fucking owner would withhold food as punishment?#you ever think about how his other fucking owner would go on to literally make it impossible for him to eat?#huh? you ever lie awake at night and think about that?#cuz I do
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the hot waters out again.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 interior#my builds#sunbleached:extras#unseen is the peeps boiling hot water for a bath#that fans pointing towards the toilet#adding context: the little sticky notes everywhere in this build is everyone leaving passive aggressive notes to clean up or stop eating my#fucking food hey keep it down in the shower I’m trying to sleep not listen to you explore someone body#they have to go out to go wash cloths so no one’s really jumping to do that so it just piles up they get more cloths sometimes it’s easy#until it starts to smell it starting to smell
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