#I’m glad for my brain sometimes
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thesightstoshowyou · 10 months ago
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Shoot for the Moon
Bo Sinclair X GN Reader
Warnings: None. Just fluff. Who am I?
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~~
Keys jingle as you cut the engine. The thrum ceases and a moment of tranquil silence passes before the nighttime sounds rise to life all around. Crickets and frogs chirp, night herons splash, a barred owl calls. Cypress, oak, and maple trees creak and rustle in a gentle breeze. Car door hinges squeal as you slip from your vehicle and your boots swish in tall grasses as you make your way to the trunk.
Carefully, you unpack the telescope, flashlight, guides, and notepads. The scents of damp earth and decaying wood wash over you as you move. Already, the oppressive Louisiana humidity sticks your hair to your forehead, yet you wear a jacket and jeans to protect your limbs from mosquitos and ticks.
Satisfied with a small, nearby clearing, you meticulously set up your equipment. You peek through the eye piece and adjust the telescope’s position incrementally. Little flashlight clutched between your teeth, you scratch notes on the illuminated portion of paper before repeating the process.
An hour or so in, you abruptly surface from the lull of peaceful concentration. At first, you’re not certain what distracts you, but then you recognize the silence. All the wildlife has gone quiet, disturbed by something close by.
You frown and quiet your own breath, tilting your head to listen intently. To your left, a sharp snap; twigs underfoot. Something stalks through the brush, just out of sight.
A bear, maybe, or a stray dog. Your mind whirs with the possibilities, but you will yourself to stay calm. Nothing you can’t handle.
However, when a man emerges from the tree line, your heart stutters. Fear and confusion take root in your brain and you must consciously fight back the panic to keep your thoughts clear.
Where the hell had he come from? There isn’t a town or house around for miles, as far as you’re aware. You’d carefully chosen this particular spot for that very reason.
The man saunters toward you, hands buried in the pockets of the deep blue coveralls he wears. His pace is leisurely, every step measured and deliberate, meant to instill dread. You can’t make out the details of his face through the gloom and the cap perched atop his head does you no favors.
“Yer out here awfully late,” he notes, the pleasant drawl of his voice disturbing the hush of the clearing. He nods toward the crescent moon hanging low in the sky as though you need his help to tell it’s nighttime.
“Could say the same about you,” you respond, slipping the flashlight into your palm. You could blind him if he gets too close.
He stops his advance about twenty feet away, head tilting slightly as he studies you and your equipment. “Folks out this late don’t often have the best intentions.”
Pot, meet kettle. You resist the urge to call him out and instead motion to your telescope. “Just star gazing. I wasn’t aware this was private property. I’ll go—
“Nah, s’not private. Yer good, sugar.” He takes a few steps closer. The muscles in your shoulders tense. You swallow thickly, mind racing. What now?
You speak before you can stop yourself, “I, uh, I just found Saturn. It’s nice and clear tonight. Wanna see?” The man stops abruptly, obviously taken aback. He’s silent for a moment, contemplating.
“…Yer serious?” he questions. His steps are tentative now, cautious. You caught him off guard, it seems.
Roll with it. “Yeah!” You wave him over and allow the excitement to take control of your vocal cords, “And the Milky Way is so pretty right now. We can look at that next….”
He’s close enough now that you can make out the incredulous expression on his face…his very handsome face. The scents of engine oil, burnt grease, and metal hit you and the outfit suddenly makes sense. Still, you question why he’s out for a midnight stroll in such a remote area wearing his work garb.
You scoot out of the way and instruct him to look through the eye piece. He shoots you one more skeptical glance before carefully leaning over and peering into the telescope. You smell him now too: Cigarette smoke, faint aftershave, and woody musk that is not at all unpleasant.
You watch the exact moment the man spots the planet. What you can see of his face lights up and he shifts his body in toward the telescope, hunching more to get a better angle through the eyepiece. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he murmurs, hand coming up and hovering over the finderscope, hesitant to touch. You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face.
“So beautiful, right? Do you see the rings?”
“Sure do,” he replies, straightening and flashing you a hesitant, crooked smile. Your thoughts are almost derailed by the charm of it, but the eagerness to teach keeps you grounded.
“Here, scooch over a sec, lemme just readjust it….” You quickly check your notes then fiddle with the telescope. You’re overly aware of the man standing next to you, but he surprises you with polite silence, hands on his hips, apparently content to watch you work.
“Here, look,” you excitedly tell him as soon as it’s adjusted. With a quizzical expression, he leans down again, though there’s more enthusiasm in his movement this time.
“…What am I lookin’ at?” he asks, glancing over at you expectantly.
You giggle and mutter a quick, “Oh right,” before launching into an explanation. You gesture and describe, the animation in your voice and knowledge on the subject captivating the stranger.
He watches you speak with a mixture of admiration and bemusement on his face, like he can’t believe he’s listening so attentively, but doesn’t want to miss a word. All previous tension evaporates as you show him the charts you’ve drawn and move the telescope to and fro.
“Oh, and you should be able to see Phobos right now—
“What’s yer name, darlin’?” the man interrupts suddenly. You glance up at him and realize just how close he stands. Your shoulder brushes his chest, his body heat palpable. You’re glad for the darkness when your cheeks burn.
You do your best not to trip over your own name when he smirks, sudden shyness drying your throat and making your heart skip a beat. There’s irritation there too, annoyance with his smugness. You’re easier to read than you’d hoped, apparently.
“Bo,” he tells you as he holds out his hand. You turn to face him and accept his outstretched palm. It is then you notice your watch.
“Oh christ, it’s late. I really gotta go!”Hurriedly, you gather up your notes and pack away your equipment. Bo watches quietly and you can tell by the way he stands so stock still that he’s contemplating something.
You don’t give him a chance to decide on whatever it was he was planning when he entered the clearing.
“I, uh…I was gonna come back on Thursday if, you know, if you wanted to learn more.” Bo blinks at you, genuine surprise on his face. You’re just as shocked by your own words. Offering to meet a strange man with questionable intentions, alone, in the middle of rural Louisiana to teach him amateur astronomy?
Have you lost your damn mind?
Yet, the way he’d engaged with the subject and how eagerly he listened makes you think there’s something more to this man. The initial trajectory of your meeting had changed, hadn’t it? There was a spark, a yearning for connection. He wants to learn, and you want to teach.
That, or you’re completely delusional.
“Next Thursday?” You nod at his question. He tips his head again, like he’s thinking. Slipping his hands back into his pockets, he shrugs. “I can try and make it.”
**
He does make it on Thursday. You do too. And again on Saturday. And the following Friday. And Monday.
Sunday finds you seated on a blanket, Bo at your side, flashlight in your mouth and pen in had. Around you, the nighttime creatures sing their songs. Your trusty telescope points to the sky, ready to capture the comet you’re tracking.
You’re relaxed in his presence now. You’ve decided to attribute your initial meeting to simple chance. He hasn’t given you a reason not to trust him, and you’re not going to look for one.
Your name murmured in a hushed and careful tone breaks your reverie. You hum in response before lowering the flashlight and glancing up. The look in Bo’s baby blues freezes you in place and brings heat to your cheeks.
He’s closer than you anticipated. He removed his hat at some point and his dark hair is ruffled like he hastily ran his fingers through it. That self-satisfied smirk you tell yourself you hate pulls at the side of his mouth and there’s warmth in his eyes as they trace the curve of your lips.
“Been tryin’ t’kiss ya for the past ten minutes,” he teases, his hand reaching out to playfully flick the pen in your hand. You release a breathy laugh as your heart flutters in your chest like a trapped bird.
“Oh, um…s-sorry,” is all you can manage, mouth curving in a weak smile. Your teeth worry your bottom lip when Bo slides closer to cradle your face in his palms.
“Looks like I finally get t’teach ya somethin’ huh?” he jokes, lips ghosting across yours.
You huff, “Oh shut up,” but there’s no real bite to your words. Bo chuckles affectionately and smoothes his thumbs over your hair.
His next words are soft, the vulnerability in them meant only for your ears. “You been real sweet, darlin’. Ain’t nobody taught me anythin’ like you.”
“Oh,” you breathe, moved by his admission. The gratitude in it warms you deep in your chest. Bo wrinkles his nose.
“Alright, enough a’ that. Turnin’ me into a fuckin’ sap.” Your next scoff and eye roll is cut off when he finally claims your mouth in a searing kiss.
Overhead, stars twinkle, your silent spectators.
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raytm · 9 months ago
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when yall talk about clearing your ask boxes and mine looks like this :
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honeyvenommusic · 9 months ago
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❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-
#glass animals#honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh????#like….. when i say wore out#i cannot describe how much i listened to it#i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number#like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened)#i cannot recall w this#gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke#so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao#(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol)#anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night#driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in#sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who????#had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused#it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song#then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky &#ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work#(i was right & it blew her miiind)#god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok#i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this#highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift#a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them#as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?)#a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever
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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year ago
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the thing is life continues to be hard and brutal and test me in some really painful ways but also I’m doing soooooooooo much better than I was a year ago because so many things have changed that needed to change and my coping skills are better, my sense of self is more stable, my relationships are more stable. so like so much to be thankful about every day even though I almost never am because I’m ungrateful and self-absorbed in the moment.
#all of last year was just everything being upended#change on change on change#and so of course I was like ‘it’s been a year aren’t I DONE now’#and of course that is not life lol#(The best moment in the Barbie movie really was the ‘life IS change’ line)#but also sometimes you reap the fruit of hard things#and moving out and starting counseling#have both been huge#as things I needed and NEVER wanted#but I feel so glad for them now#and also just some of the stuff both of those changes have pushed me to examine#has led me to be so much more stable#overall I think#and like/ I’m still not happy all the time lol#there are things that are breaking my heart#and because I’m me there’s things that are breaking my heart that I know and things I’m probably not aware of#but I really do think some of the biggest things are settling#anyway will I feel terribly horribly sad soon? Yes probably.#But they are countered by these moments where my life feels for the first time like something I want to think about with my whole brain#and something that is enough to fill my whole heart#and it never did before. I was always like ‘yes yes my life that’s so good’ but also I was always trying to look away from it#and lose myself in endless distractions#and even sometimes the most beautiful side quests of my brain were still side quests#because I didn’t want to look at my life straight on#and somehow some equation has flipped and I don’t think of my life last now#or only out of the corner of my eye between my obsessions#out of fear and anxiety. Like I’m on my own kid I can face this! Etc.#and what I see is a life that IS good and has so much for me to do and there is so much to love and I DO have what I need#even if not’s what I ordered from the menu of life ANYWAY this is way more detail than you needed lolllll BUT YEah#just wanted to say it. thank you for listening
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forgotten-daydreamer · 6 months ago
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Took twice the max dose of melatonin before the final revision for tomorrow’s exam, I’m shitting my pants and I genuinely don’t know anything as thoroughly as I should but if I sleep less than 4 hrs before it I just know I’m gonna do even worse somehow
#don’t take twice the max dose of anything btw#genuinely don’t do the shit that I do#i only did it bc I know my limits and haven’t had any other substances in over 24 hrs but don’t ever try it#always talk to your gp before taking any meds and supplements at all#anyway psa aside#I want to revise for two hrs so until 1.30am circa but I genuinely hope I pass out sometime in the next hours and a half#godspeed ig#uni#melatonin#I have super high expectations but I genuinely prepared this exam in like 4 days and my brain has been all over the place#haven’t had the chance (economic too so please please consider sparing a couple of bucks for my ko-fi?) to meet my therapist in 2 weeks#been super suicidal super busy dealing with stuff and people and my family and uni and ah oh how I wish I had a brain able to focus#also the ‘visions of horror’ as I call them have lowkey turned into auditory hallucinations that never stop and it’s… tough#genuinely so tired of everything in general#I’d promised to hang with my uni friends after the exam bc I should be done my midday tops but I know im gonna be super sad and underwhelme#so I hope I can be at home by 4 pm tops with one excuse or the other#I love them all so much but I need a break. also bc I got another exam in less than a fucking week and I still haven’t started studying for#it because it’s objectively easier than tomorrow’s and because when was I supposed to study for it#I spent 3 good days working on a paper that isn’t even mine for a subject I don’t even take#a favor for a friend which turned into 3 more friends asking me if I could help them with theirs#and you know me#I never say no. unfortunately. but also I’m super glad they want my help bc they know I can write at least (one good thing)#but. that’s still -3 days available#then. the demons#wasted so many hours just pacing and biting my nails raw and being pathetic#so yeah. in a little under 15 hrs I want to be in bed again. resting until the 19th when the cycle will begin anew#also math ain’t mathing. my exam is in 12 hrs only now 13.
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floral-hex · 7 months ago
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So if I cancel an appointment the day of, I’ll get charged $100, but the doctor can cancel the appointment an hour beforehand and I’m just shit out of luck. Very cool. Not a bother at all.
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akkivee · 2 years ago
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thinking about kyuubi!hitoya
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fancygeorgejones · 1 year ago
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Latest Juno episode has me crying, screaming, shaking etc internally while trying to be normal at work
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summer-fire · 1 year ago
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Not to get too serious but thank you seltzer water <- family history of alcoholism
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Me, age seven: Energetic but bored only child who constantly asked for their parents to adopt one of the kids in those “find me a home” news specials. Begged on their hands and knees to go to public school so they could meet people their age and get acclimated to society.
Me, age twenty: Apathetic, jaded adult who views any amount of communication as excruciatingly laborious. Is either indifferent or hateful to most people their age. Wants to wander off into a forest so they can die alone in some remote tar pit.
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Venting in the tags again
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 2 years ago
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Why is it that when you’re allergic to some kind of metal it seems impossible to figure out what it is without professional help? Maybe it would be easier if my skin turned green when I wear something but nooo my skin only gets mad when it’s a piercing, none of that normal contact. I just have to stick things in my ears and see if I forget them after an hour. It’s easier to rule out metals I don’t react to (I have found maybe three?). And it’s not like I could experiment since childhood because I don’t actually know when I started having a reaction to certain piercings. Was it since my first? Who knows! I didn’t even realize I was experiencing an allergic reaction until I was around 24 years old. Someone else described their allergic reaction to certain metals in piercings and I was like “oh, that’s not how everyone feels wearing them?” When I told my cousin about it she was like “wait, so almost every time you wore any piercing jewelry you had your ears burn the whole time? And you still wore them for years before you switched to hypoallergenic only? You must be really dedicated to wearing jewelry” and I really doubt it was dedication. I’m pretty sure I’m just stupid and thought that earrings and stuff just do that if you don’t wear them often enough. I figured it would go away if I wore them more often but I was never consistent enough to be like “this is weird because I am wearing them consistently” I would go weeks between wearing anything and it didn’t, ugh. That wasn’t dedication or stubbornness, it was just me being really clueless and tolerating pain well
It went “wait, ears aren’t supposed to be spicy? Oops.”
I just liked sparkly things 🤦‍♀️
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intelligent-space-gay · 4 months ago
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ugh I’m such a simple gay whenever I do smth for my pretty coworker n she says ‘thanks love you!’ Im fuckin. giggling kicking my feet take a chill pill dude
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glittertimes · 9 months ago
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How I got a whole bachelor’s degree and half a master’s degree while in a shitty emotionally abusive relationship is insane.
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thebibliosphere · 1 month ago
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I’m going to be a bitch for a second, but when I’m conversing with someone newly diagnosed with MCAS/POTS post covid and they complain about “the long wait” to get diagnosed and that “long wait” is 3-4 months my entire brain blue screens.
Like on the one hand, yes those 3-4 months must have been so, so scary and I am so unbelievably glad we’re in a place where doctors know enough to reconize it now. Like truly, I am so sincere I am so happy for them.
But I’m also just like... 30 years, man.
I spent 30 years being told from the age of eight I was manifesting my allergic reactions through anxiety by health care professionals.
Fuck, five years ago when I was starving to death from how severe my MCAS had gotten an allergist told me it was anxiety.
And you got diagnosed in three months.
MONTHS
MONTHS
AND YOU’RE COMPLAINING
I’m not mad at them. I’m not. I’m just sad for myself.
But also, hey, yeah. If you come into an MCAS forum and wonder why a bunch of the old timers get upset when you complain it took months for a doctor to listen to you, this is why.
It's not that you deserved to wait longer. It's that we didn’t either and and sometimes even good changes can unearth a world of hurt.
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dedeuteros · 11 months ago
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This shit gets so serious
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