#I’m fucking funny hit tweet

[wrathofrats]

All the ghouls before pebble were like fairly large I think it would be so fucking funny for him to be summoned and like ??? he’s just so little??

Alpha: ah fuck they summoned a child

Pebble: I’m not a child you cunt

Alpha: ah fuck they summoned an evil gnome

[qqueenofhades]

I’ve had this feeling for a while, but the last few weeks have made it stronger: I feel like people are just sick of Trump, even people that are solid Republicans. Even aside from the politics and the threat to democracy that he represents, I’m just tired of hearing about him and all the vitriolic buffoonery that comes out of him. He’s a class clown that’s gone from occasionally funny to just annoying. And I’m sure there’s plenty of Republican voters that resent what an absolute cultish embarrassment he’s made of their party. Even if I had no other reason to vote, I would’ve still voted blue in the desperate hope that I might not have to hear about Trump anymore.

I mean... Yeah.

The other day, we had a whole group of Arizona Republicans (otherwise known as one of the most extreme and cultist state GOP parties in the country) coming out as the leaders of a Republicans for Harris taskforce. Republicans for Harris also immediately hit it big on Twitter. Haley Voters For Biden instantly changed their name to Haley Voters For Harris and told Haley herself to hit the bricks when she laughably threatened them with legal action. There were always a few Never Trump Republicans before, but like. Not many. And many of them have ventured like, one criticism and immediately fallen back into line when Trump posted one mean tweet about them, because they have spines like soufflés.

Now mind you, the entire national/establishment GOP is still completely and cravenly beholden to Trump in ways that defy all logical human understanding, but people who have voted Republican all their lives and did so habitually once or even twice for Trump are increasingly hitting breaking point, and that should be noted. If you want to know how much, the goddamn MORMONS are, allegedly, preparing to quit the GOP this election in larger volumes than they have voted for Democrats in at least 60 years. I don't know how much this will end up panning out, and they have always been at least somewhat skeptical of him in comparison to the completely deranged mainstream evangelical fundies, but. The Mormons. THE MORMONS. Voting for a black female Democrat for president? In my wildest fantasies, this makes me think of Blue Utah 2024 like Blue Indiana 2008 (yes, that happened, along with Blue Florida TWICE).

Trump does have and will always have his ever-dwindling base of diehard cultists, but they have not and will never be numerous enough to win a fair democratic election on their own, which is why the GOP has pulled every dirty trick in the book trying to ensure that they don't have to. But yes: there are many more of us than them, and if we finally pull together and quit arguing about dumb shit, we could get rid of Trump once and for all, and god. GOD. I long for that day so bad and I can finally think it might be coming. So let us NOT fucking screw this up, kay? Kay.

[cindol]

IT’S A BAD IDEA, RIGHT?

Portgas D. Ace x black fem reader

꒰͡ 𐙚 ͡꒱ syn — inviting your ex rockstar boyfriend over isn’t such a bad idea, right?

wc: 3409 words (3K words)

17+!

tw— funny/corny banter(deal with it!!), smut, ex bf ace, slight unfaithfulness, ace signs a woman’s titties, oral(woman receiving), fingering, cum eating, dick riding,creaming,

a/n: was suppose to be based on Olivia Rodrigo’s song Vampire but the plot shifted lol !

a cheeky look was on y/n’s face as she looked at the contact on her phone. Her finger was hovering over the call button from the contact “🔥❌❗️”. For the first time in a long time she felt needy, as embarrassing as it was for her to say. It didn’t make sense, she was a very thirsted woman in the media, always having some random or underground rapper in her dms trying to hit on her but still she was lonely and it was all Portgas D. Ace’s fault.

Even after the months following their breakup she still wanted him whether she wanted to admit it or not. Many men couldn’t keep up with her humor or banter the way the cocky rockstar did. He always could respond on time to her sass leaving her bashful and silent. But even with a relationship so balanced they had their issues and it was unsurprising, having two cocky people in a relationship would cause issues. Issues like Ace always being so comfortable with his inappropriate fans, signing their tits and encouraging their behavior made y/n livid and even fuming when seeing how little he cared. It always turned to y/n doing petty things in response and it’s what led to the breakup itself.

Even still after they broke up being the woman y/n was, she still subbed him in anything, always posting a pretty picture of herself with some petty caption that the public could figure out was about her ex rock lover and in reponse ace did the same. Posting corny tweets along the lines of,”she still wants me, yeah I can tell baby they don’t call me the fire rock for nothing 😎🔥” it doesn’t help the fact the two still have each other’s numbers so they argue to the max in messages.

The arguing never stays PG too. Always going to arguments of calling him cocky to borderline flirting. It came to a halt this Saturday evening as her finger hovered on the call button on his contact. She was stuck between giving him the awaiting call since she hasn’t talked to him in over 9 months or keep playing it safe in messages. She bit her lip,”fuck it.” She’ll bite. Pressing the call button she put her phone to her ear. She heard the dial up sound and then what sounded like a pick up on his end and a deep lazy chuckle.”The princess finally calls for her rock.” The line was corny but made her wanna chuckle as she did an eye roll and small smile.”Well a lady shouldn’t even be doing the call first, just did it because I knew you ain’t have it in you to call first.” The sound he spat out was the mix of a laugh and scoff.”Let's go with that baby, sure. I’m just glad to have this awaited call with you.”

She made a soft hum at that.”I’m sure you were.” He chuckled and snorted. She could by that lazy chuckle he was in the position she always saw him in but needed a visual.”what are you even doing right now? Sounds like you’re just on your ass.”

“I’m just laying down.” She huffed.”more details please?” Ace could tell she was in that mood, he could tell with the short breathed huff she made and how quick she said her sentence so he delivered what she needed in a lazy voice.” ‘m laid up on my couch, slouched with my legs spreaded, one hand resting on the arm of the couch with my other hand holding my phone to my ear.” Manspreading, she nearly made a moan. She wished she could see him manspreading in action.

Ace noticed her breathing noises into the phone and shook his head smiling. He was affecting her sooner than he thought.”Now how bout you tell me what you’re doing since you’re making these deep breaths.” His quip got her by surprise but she responded.”Well right now, I’m just chilling. I’m laying on my stomach with my legs kicked up and shit.. not like you and that man spreading.”

A loud laugh erupted in her ear.”please princess, you love me man spreading, driving you crazy you can’t see it though don’t it?” She shivered a bit at his response and took a deep breath before regaining control again.”as much as you’d like to see me in those pretty outfits I’ve always worn for you ace?” When she said that it was like a flashback when she was wearing and modeling all the sexy lingerie she had in black and red for him while he watched.

By his lack of response she could tell she had him.” ‘member the fire colored lingerie and even the bikini’s ace?” She was speaking in a soft tone now making him sweat but he wouldn’t give in too soon.``well let’s talk about the now yeah? Those little bikini’s were fucking hot but what is your pretty little self wearing now?” She giggled at how he switched the conversation.``right now I’m just in some yoga pants and a white tank top, something simple really.” He put the phone away from him for a bit and groaned before placing it back to his ear. He could imagine her body in some yoga attire, seeing her ass in some stretchy yoga pants made him lick his lips.

She checked her nails.”How about you?” He shrugged.”Just a pair of jeans as usual, you know me baby.” SHe raised a brow.”And that hat?” He gave her a ‘mhm’. She was familiar with his hat, not because it was a big staple of his wardrobe and who he was but from past personal experience.

The two sighed thinking of each other now.

“Ace..”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna see you tonight, come over.. please.” He could hear the hitch in your voice and made a soft laugh.”You'll see me when you see me tonight princess.” With that he hung up leaving y/n wanting even more, in her luck he sent her a photo of his lap, the background was the inside of his jeep. She was looking forward to this night

-

-

-

Ace didn’t know how long it took him to be in front of y/n’s door but it couldn’t have taken long with how fast he got here right after their call ended. It surprised y/n when he showed up at her door in 30 minutes. Looking through her door hole she saw him in all his glory. She was truthfully a bit nervous to open her door to him but make a sharp breath and opened it, finally seeing his full body in front of her since the months they broke and were apart made her remember how tasty he looked, to his cowboy hat, black hair down to his beaded red necklace, naked chest and dark blue jeans. The set smirk on his face as he looked down on her wasn’t any better also.

She squeezed her thighs and put a hand on her hip as she saw him staring her down the exact same way she was staring at him.”Are you looking at something rockstar?” He snapped out of it for a second looking at her face then back to her body. The lilac silk shiny robe she had matched her perfectly and hugged her body just right, looking at her chest he could see she was wearing this robe without anything under it. His stare went back to her round face looking at two toned lips and brown eyes then her 4C hair in two puffs.”I’m definitely looking alright.” He leaned on the door a bit, making her just chuckle and shake her head at his little antics.”you’re too much ace, c'mon in.” Stepping away she entered back inside with ace following inside and closing the door.

When looking around everything was so familiar. Turning to see the red velvet couch he always saw in her living he smirked at the memory they shared on it.”takes me back, the nice memories on that love couch mhm..” he said it in a soft tone with his hands in his pockets just making y/n scoff and laugh.”you and I both know the only memories we shared on that couch were sweaty nasty hot ones.” He just scratched his neck humming as if to show he couldn’t argue on that.

Y/n stepped forward to him wrapping her arm around his wrist“Now c'mere, we got a lot to talk about Mm yeah?” She said it in that seducing accent, they both should know they were absolutely getting no serious talking done once she led Ace up her brown wooden stairs.

Once the two got inside her room on top of y/n’s bed their lips were smushed together. The tension they felt from their texts, the call and all the way downstairs was coming out finally. they separated with a string of saliva and a gasp from y/n while Ace took a sharp breath.``what about our talk?” Ace teased but y/n sucked her teeth.”fuck the talk.” With that ace went along to unbutton his jeans and threw them off somewhere. Y/n was on her way to doing the same with her robe till Ace grabbed her wrist.”nah let me, wanna see all of you unravel.” She giggled.”Nothing you haven’t seen already, just a little pudge added.” He just made a cackle at her saying that.”more for me.” He said it in a starved raspy tone making her snort more.

Once his hands went to the long strings holding her robe together and unwrapped them y/n felt this sudden bashfulness come. It wasn’t that she was shy of him seeing her body in so long, just that it changed from last he saw. Her cheeks are more round, breast more fuller and stomach having more pudge including her thighs being more thick. She looked away from his stare. She couldn’t tell if it was a good stare or a bad one.”If you wanna end this we easily can, I can easily find some discarded dildo if you’re not feeling all this.”

He just stared her down making a humming tone. Shd hated it when he did that, it always left her in suspense. Grabbing her chin for her to look up at him he then did a toothy grin and put his own hat on her head.”don’t doubt my abilities baby, I was raised like a good boy. I know how to handle some pudge.” Once her robe then fell off her body revealing her bare naked body, an amused noise came out from his lips. He gripped her hips with his strong hands, making her gasp.”plus I think ya look good, motherly. Might even dump some good kids in ya!” She made a pout, slapping his arm at that.

Letting go of her for just a second he pulled down his boxers letting his dick flop out. Y/n’s eyes peered down, staring at it looking so dumbfounded, making him laugh and pat her head.”Nothing new for you baby, I think you can take it all just like every other time right?” She dumbly just nodded. Flinging off his boxers somewhere he turned his full attention to his ex girlfriend. He gripped her jaw giving her a heated kiss.”No playing games anymore, I’m gonna give you everything you’ve been missing for 9 months, understand?” She just stared at him, no words coming out from his switch up from cocky to serious. She nodded up at him, making him grin at her understanding.

Now sitting on the bed he patted his lap.”Now c'mere.” Crawling over she stared at his lap for a second, eyeing his dick.”Not like it’s gonna bite ya, cmon.” She gulped sitting on his lap but not exactly on his dick a flush was on brown cheeks when he abruptly parted her legs not even wasting time. He put his own fingers in his mouth before inserting two inside her.”oh?” When he moved his fingers around there was a small squelching noise, already wet even before everything.``Needy even before we started?” His other hand multitasked with squeezing her brown mound. She made a soft whimper, nodding.”t-those calls and texts are something y’know? Got me all worked up and shit..”

He was pleased with the effect he had on both her body and mind, he needed to hear more and her exact thoughts too.”yeah? Tell me baby, how’d I make you feel with the texts and calls?” The thrust of his fingers had a steady pace making her arch against his chest.”m-mmph! Got me so needy, even when we were arguing I couldn’t stop thinking of you… you were my ah…! Every thought and in my dreams.” He gave a sharp thrust making her moan out.”What kind of dreams?” She let out what sounded like the mix of a cry and moan.”my wet dreams! You were in my wet dreams!”

He did that familiar hum, something she would be hearing all night.”exactly what I like to hear.” His fingers thrusting pace changed, going from steady to a more fast beat making her throw her head back and whine. He placed soft smooth kisses on her neck.”know my baby’s been needy.. all the texts and fighting back, just let go for me.” He cooed into her ear making her nod, making impatient “mhm!”’s. He added 2 more fingers into her hot snatch.”It's okay though, gonna make it worth your while now.” All that was heard between the two was breathy moans, whispering, kissing and the squelch of her pussy as he jerked his four fingers inside of her.

a sudden gasp came from her as she gripped his wrist.”ace! Gonna cum!” He smirked, moving his fingers faster.”yeah? Gonna cum on my fingers baby?” She frantically nodded her head.”cum” with that one word she creamed on his fingers with a yell. Coaxing her out her orgasm he rubbed her back as her head laid against the front of his shoulder with a bashful lusty look on her face, it was cute really till ace ruined her fun time. Laying her down on the bed he stood up in front of her.”we’re not done yet baby, still got a lot to show you and prove through those texts right?” She softly whimpered in response, looking still with hooded eyes at his taller figure.

Taking her legs in both hands he placed them on his strong shoulders doing a wide eyed big grin peering down at her. She made a weak chuckle from her first argument, trying to humor him a bit.”we’re excited tonight, your first time in a while getting good cooter or something?” He made a small “tch” with a laugh mixed at her quip.”Speaking of cooter,” he lifted her body a bit, getting her comfortable for his feast.”I recall you doubting my abilities, yes? Something like..” he caught by surprise doing a strip lick of her pussy then continuing his talk.”I can’t handle it right? I can’t handle your cooter or something?” Gasping from the first lick and still recovering from the whiplash she didn’t respond as quickly, making him give her a spank on the pussy. That made her whimper and cry out.”y-yes I said that ace!” He gave her another lick getting her sensitive with each one.”Then I think I should prove you wrong, yes? Because you just were obviously talking out your mouth from being depraved for so long baby.” She made a simple nod looking at him with brown eyes.

Gripping her thighs which were placed on his shoulders he bent his head down digging in. His mouth practically made out with her pussy, tonguing her clit and even getting her fat lips wet while she cried out and moaned gripping her sheets. He sucked and licked at her with such a sloppy roughness making her hands go from the sheets to gripping his jet black hair, not that he minded. The more she gripped just means he was doing fantastic. Even with her plea’s he knew she just wanted more.”Mmph! Gonna cum ace! Please!” She exclaimed in a shout but his mouth stayed on her. With no surprise she embarrassingly creamed inside his mouth making him get off and just swallow smiling, making an ‘aah’ sound and her show a brown tinted blush on her cheeks.”so indecent..“. “You love my indecentness though.” She knew she couldn’t argue and made a soft sigh.

Staring down at his lower body she could see his dick was up and ready. Even from just now creaming on his face she made a smirk at it.”morning wood?” She joked pointing down once he let go of her legs. He tsked looking down and clicking his tongue at her joke.”More like night wood baby.”

She hummed while sitting up.”Well, the little man is obviously awake and ready.” He crossed his arms behind his head stretching.”Well you gonna do anything to cure him?” She bit her nail.``Mm.. how bout you c'mere and lay for me, you haven’t even put your dick in me in months and you’ve worn me out already.” He made a small side eye doing a toothy grin while she sat pretty even with tired eyes.”Your wish is my command oh great princess!”

He didn’t waste a second on doing as she pleased and laying on his back for her. Her 5’6 frame towered over his tall 6’1 body a bit but she still looked small anyways. She rubbed his thighs, looking at his tan dick for a minute as he laid there with his hands behind his head.”it’s not gonna bite baby, I’m sure you remember how to ride it real nice right? Or should I just leave while I can?” He teased making her gasp furrowing her brows at him, it was easy to play her and get her to play along. Not wanting him to deceive her skills even in a joking way she gathered her courage slowly inching herself on all his 9 inches doing a small whisper count down before she sat on all of him. a breathy gasp came out feeling all of his thickness inside her for so long.

Ace could see her hesitating before he gave a harsh slap to her ass.”prove me wrong.” That made her clench, making a low groan come from Ace's throat. Putting her hands on his shoulders she rode him at a slow pace at first, getting more sloppy with it as her pussy made squelching sounds. Moans, whimpers and groans echoed inside the bedroom with sounds of skin slapping. She made short breathing gasps losing her pace from energy and ace noticed. Giving both ass cheeks short slaps he grabbed her attention again.”I’m gonna have to help ya or something sleepy head?” He gave a sharp thrust making her cry out.”you gotta prove me wrong baby,”

She nodded along with a single tear in her eye from his unwarned thrust.” ‘m am..” with some of ace’s help lifting her ass and slapping her back down she got back into the rhythm, this time her pace being faster with ace’s rough hands gripping on her waist to slam her down making cries and high moans coming from y/n while grin had a toothy grin showing his shiny whites.”you gotta prove me wrong ‘member?” She just made a cry in response, gripping on his shoulders, bouncing herself.”a-ace! Can’t pleasee, ‘m gonna cum please please!” She made a plea in a whiney voice through her moans.

Ace groaned with her feeling her clench and took over.”never can take the lead? Was always my needy girl.” With some sloppy thrusts from Ace she felt an orgasm coming.”Mm! Cumming— gonna cum ace I-!” With a loud squeal she creamed on his dick. Ace made a hum at how in weakness she laid her head on chest.

“I’ll give ya a break, pretty sure I could get some more outta ya.”

[bowlofsoob]

TRUTH OR DRINK; CELEBRITY EDITION

choi soobin x gender neutral idol reader

idol au, established relationship

you, a soloist, go on the show truth or drink. for every question you can either answer it or take a shot. during the interview you hint at the fact that you may be in a relationship. it doesn’t take long for your fans to figure out who it is.

author’s notes: do u want a part two? i think a truth or drink with soobyn as a couple would be funny

_______________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Welcome to Truth or Drink!

You: Hi, I’m Y’n and I’ll be playing Truth or Drink today! Can I take a shot to help my nerves?

Q: What is your recent single about?

You: So my new single, called Forbidden, is about two people being in love but not being allowed to express it. It can be interpreted in many ways, whether it’s because they’re gay, work together, or for other reasons that make them unable to show it. I’m glad to see that many fans loved it.

Q: Is there anyone who inspired it?

You: Well, a lot of things inspire my songs. So in a sense, yes!

Q: Have you ever hooked up with a fan?

You: Wow, we’re getting right into it. I honestly haven’t. I’ve seen their thirst tweets though. Also, seems to much of a hassle. Before the pants come off we’d have to sign so much paperwork. NDA!

Q: Have you ever hooked up with another idol?

You: Oh my god, you guys are so nosy! I’m going to pour myself a shot, which honestly answers the question…

Q: When have you hooked up with another idol?

You: This is basically the same question!

Q: Are you in a relationship?

You: *immediately takes a shot*

Crew: So… you are in one?

You: Hey, i took a shot so I don’t have to answer!

Q: An idol you are close to or want to get close to?

You: Oh, there’s a few people I have friend crushes on. It’s a little harder to make friends in my career. I would say I’m pretty close to Soobin of TXT. We work under the same company so I see him quite a bit since our schedules line up! I like to treat him to food and pinch his cheeks…

Q: Favorite song right now?

You: Skipping Stones and Chasing that feeling by TXT! I really love Soobin’s verse. Come and kiss me~

Q: Ideal type? Or someone who fits your ideal type?

You: Hmm, I like someone who is introverted but very outgoing around people they’re close with. I think those are the cutest people. Regarding physical features, I think anything is cute. But I really like it when they’re taller than me…oh! And dimples! Dimples are so cute.

Q: Who is someone you’d like to collaborate with?

You: Sooo many people. Hmm, TXT? I think that would be cool! Hit me up you guys.

Q: Fuck, Marry, or Kill…Soobin, Jungkook, and Nayeon?

You: I don’t feel like getting canceled today so I’ll just take a shot.

Q: Craziest fan interaction?

You: Most of them are respectful and sweet…but one time someone mailed me their underwear? My dog tried to eat it.

Q: When is your next album?

You: Soon! Later this month, I promise!

Thank you for joining us today!

You: Thank you for having me. To everyone watching, check out my single when you can~

_______________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

_______________________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

[maaikeatthefullmoon]

Someone asked about places where they could find my creative works & how I make a living.

I’ve been a self-employed artist since 2017. The current economic climate is making that *very* difficult and I may well be giving up my beautiful business soon, but for now, I’m still clinging on by my fingernails. I’ve survived a lot longer than many of my colleagues and I’ve been VERY grateful and fortunate. (Yes, my profile photo is actually me, very cold, in my freezing workshop, in my ok-to-get-covered-in-paint-ugly-clothes 😂)

You can find me/support me here:

Etsy: I have *two* Etsy shops. I make fan-based clothing, bags, and cushion covers at FullMoonFandom. and I make fan art and children's home decor, all hand painted on high quality medite wood at Lioncub Creations. This shop has been my main business for the past 8+ years and is my bread & butter. It's been hit HARD by the cost of living crisis and it's literally getting worse every month.

Ko-fi: If you enjoy my writing, or just generally take pity on me, I'd think you were bloody amazing if you could please buy me a coffee (although I'll actually spend it on bills...sorry). No pressure, though, I know money's tight.

AO3: I write Good Omens fanfic under the username imposterssyndrome, I’ve been writing since November 2023 after my trauma therapist recommended it and it’s been the best thing I’ve ever done (especially after my mother told 8yo me that my writing was shit and I literally never wrote another piece of fiction until age 40). I skew angsty, love historical anything and researching stuff. Did I mention Here Be Angst?

Wavelengths & Frequencies - I'm writing this wonderfully fun enemies-to-lovers human AU with the ineffable @shadesofecclescakes. This is a DJ AU and bloody hell does it ever help that Eccles is a professional DJ, because I would have given up in the first chapter otherwise. This longfic will be funny, VERY piney, a teensy-tiny bit angsty (but not too much), smutty, and just generally a whole lot of fun. And it's got footnotes! And newspaper articles! And texts, and tweets, and an awful attempt at a forum, and and and...Rated E (and P for Piney-As-Fuck). WIP, published every *now totally off schedule, we publish when we can*, due to be completed by *who knows when*.

Epistolary Series - Aziraphale's diaries, read by Crowley, a romp through history, the series includes an Aziraphale POV and more, rated E, made of 3 completed works.

Ineffable Inspirations Series - Individual oneshots, all based on songs. Currently 2 stories, based on Fiona Apple’s Shadowboxer (set in 1941) & Finger Eleven’s Paralyzer (set in 2021)

[catch1ngmoths]

Alex w s/o has stretch marks and they’re insecure of it? </3 I have them NSJSJANISJS my mom would point them out at me you don’t have to do it pookie bear ‼️‼️ don’t forgor to drink water and don’t starve yourself or stress yourself!! MWAH LIVE YOU POOKIE BEAR ‼️‼️💋

˚₊‧⁺⋆♱ Tiger stripes ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

Summary: you have have stretch marks and are quite insecure about them; on the contrary, it's one of Alex's favorite physical features about you!

Note: MY BAE! MY BAE! MY BAE!! @billkaulitzsrealgf always makes me giggle and kick my feet fr, I LOVE YOUU🙏 I also have stretch marks on my inner thighs, AND my mom also points them out so I UNDERSTANDDD!! anyways, enjoy :3

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

The first time he noticed them, he stared for a good while. Enough for you to notice. You started to get nervous, thinking he was staring at them in disgust.

When he noticed how uncomfortable and anxious you looked, he immediately felt bad. he looked up at you and smiled softly, “your stretch marks are beautiful cariño.” Alex says softly

You don’t believe him, thinking he’s just saying that because he caught onto your insecurity. “You don’t have to lie Lex, I know they’re not the most flattering..” you say with a nervous smile

He looks exasperated as you say this, looking at you with his mouth slightly parted. “No no! I actually really love them! They’re hot” he says with a playful and dramatic wink.

You laugh and hit his shoulder, making him laugh more. Ever since that day, he always lays where your stretch marks are. If they’re on your thighs, he lays on your thighs. If they’re on your stomach, he lays on your stomach and exc.

When you’re feeling extra insecure, he’ll trace them with his fingers, even littering little kisses on them. When y’all are getting intimate, he’ll kiss them while kissing down your body RAGHHH (⊙_⊙)

He loves tracing them with his fingers while yall are cuddling and shit, like just running his fingers down them in awe. HE LOVES THE WAY THEY FEEL!!

He just loves you so much, he really doesn’t give a fuck how you look or what features you have. He just loves you and thinks anything you hate about yourself or are insecure of makes you even more unique.

If anyone points them out, in a negative way he won’t hesitate to make them shut the hell up. People can insult him all they want but the moment someone insults YOU?? His beloved? Nah he’s pissed

He’d embarrass the FUCK outta the person that insulted you. And the thing is, he wouldn’t even feel bad! He wouldn’t insult the others persons appearance or anything because he doesn’t believe in that kinda stuff but he’d make them wish they just shut their lips

He’d say something like, “are you actually okay? Like genuinely. What makes you think you were cool for pointing that out like it’s a discusting thing? Funny how nobody’s laughing” he’d say, straight faced. THE OTHER PERSONS COOKED

If multiple people online tweet something like that out he’d probably address it on stream, saying something like:

“I wanna just say something before we start stream. People have been commenting on my s/o’s physical appearance and that’s something I’m not gonna tolerate. They’re such an amazing and supportive person. I’m not and will never be okay with that and I wanna make myself really clear when I say that.”

He’d genuinely do anything for you, not really caring what other people think or say because at the end of the day he loves you and that’s all that matters in his eyes!! Bbg loves you SO MUCH!

⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°♱༺𓆩❦︎𓆪༻♱༉‧₊˚. ⋆｡‧₊°

[lilac-hecox]

congrats on 800 followers!! maybe something with trevrasha? i don’t have any specific request w/ it tho so i understand if u don’t write something

(I used my numbered prompt list and a generator and got this and liked it so!)

Trevor/Arasha - Pessimistic - Trevrasha

--

"If you think i am going to validate your pessimistic thoughts, then you're wrong"

Not for the first time, Trevor wonders if he even belongs at Smosh. Everyone at Smosh is great. They are his friends, and he has fun. It’s a dream to be able to come to the office and hang out with people he genuinely likes, playing games, fucking around, being paid to be stupid and silly on camera. 

His doubts and worries have nothing to do with the actual people at Smosh. No, it all stems from how he is perceived. Trevor won’t lie and say that every Good Mythical Morning fan welcomed him with open arms but he was liked enough there that the comments negative towards him were fewer and further between. 

Now, he’s on Smosh and he’s more heavily featured, and with that exposure comes a whole new wave of attention, and with that attention, Trevor has noticed an uptick in hateful comments or tweets towards him. 

Some fans think he isn’t funny enough, that he doesn’t deserve the spot he got. He can name tweet after tweet with someone making lists of other people they think deserved his spot on the Smosh cast. 

Trevor tries his best to ignore those comments, but he finds they hang heavy on his heart, clouding his brain when he goes to film. It makes him nervous, makes him second-guess his jokes, his performances.

Trevor is at one of the lunch tables. It’s in-between shoots and after lunch so the area is pretty barren. He’s poking at his snack of yogurt when Arasha comes into the room. She’s carrying her own snack, a bag of chips, and she smiles brightly at Trevor as she stops at his table. 

“Can I sit with you?” she asks. 

“Of course, Arasha. You don’t have to ask permission.” 

She smiles and sits and then her eyes are on him. Trevor can almost feel her gaze digging into his chest, his mind, trying to find all the things that seem to be taking over his thoughts. 

“Is something wrong?” she asks as she pops a chip into her mouth. 

Trevor shrugs. He feels a little embarrassed to admit his feelings, admit his insecurities. What if he tells her how he feels and his fears are confirmed? What if everyone else thinks he doesn’t really belong at Smosh either? 

“Come on,” she says gently, “I can tell something is wrong.” 

He and Arasha have been in a lot of videos together lately. Maybe it’s because they are similar in age and bounce off each other well. Whatever the reason, the proximity has made them closer. He still remembers when she sat him down in a make up chair and giddily, and delicately, did his blush for him for their shoot. 

The way she had stood over him, her long hair brushing his chest, the way she smiled and it went all the way to her eyes. Okay, so the proximity between them might have also given Trevor a raging crush on the woman, but he can be professional! 

He sighs, tipping his head back in the plastic chair he’s sitting in. 

“Fine,” he says, “I guess. I feel like lately maybe I shouldn’t be here.” 

He spares a glance at Arasha and her brows knit together in confusion. 

“Are you not happy at Smosh or-” 

“No!” Trevor says quickly, “I am! I’m super happy! I just…I don’t know if I’m funny enough or like…good enough to be here, you know?” 

“Trevor!” Arasha says, “of course you’re funny enough to be here!” 

Trevor shrugs, “I don’t think the majority of the Smosh fans like me.” 

Arasha’s eyes widen and then it’s like an understanding hits her. 

“You’ve been reading hate comments?” 

“Not just hate comments,” Trevor mumbles, “sometimes they tweet me too.” 

She reaches across the table and lays her hand over his. Her nails are a soft purple and her hand is warm where it rests on top of his own. He likes her hands as weird as it sounds. She talks a lot with them. Her fingers are nimble. He also likes her smile, her laugh, her quick wit…he really likes everything about her if he’s being honest. 

“I know it’s hard but you can’t read that stuff, Trev.” 

“But-” 

“Ah!” she says, removing her hand and raising a finger in the air, “Ah, ah. If you think I am going to validate your pessimistic thoughts, then you're wrong."

She’s also really smart. That’s another thing he likes about her. 

“You’re here for a reason. You’re here because you’re funny, and you’re so kind, and you bring a certain light to the camera. You’re exactly where you should be with us, Trevor, so don’t let a vocal minority get you down. You remember when Ian and Anthony bought the company? A bunch of fans were clamoring for them to fire us, but that was just words, just their opinions, and now I’d say we’re all more loved than ever.” 

Trevor nods and he knows realistically she’s right. It’s just hard to remember sometimes. 

“Besides,” she says, her voice going soft, “if you left, who am I going to tease and hang out with?” a smile crosses her face, delicate, sweet. 

“Let’s see, Angela, Chanse, Courtney, Amanda, Spen-” 

“The point is!” she barrels on, a laugh on her lips, “is that, yes, I could hang out with them, but I wanna hang out with you and if you’re gone I can’t do that.” 

She is smiling and Trevor thinks he sees a hint of a blush on her cheeks. He feels warm inside, fond of this woman. The bad thoughts linger in the back of his head but Arasha was like a breath of fresh air, blowing them away, clearing the clouds that fogged up his brain. 

“Okay, okay, fair point,” Trevor says, “If I go no one else is going to understand your Drake and Josh references.” 

“Exactly!” Arasha says with a giggle. She turns her chip bag towards him, “want one?” 

Trevor snags a chip and smiles at her. “Thanks Arasha.” 

She smiles like she gets it. Like she knows it’s for more than just the chip. 

How could he really care if a handful of Smosh fans didn’t like him? All that mattered right now was that Arasha does and she wants him around.

[simonsrosebud]

Hii, hope I'm not too late for WIP Wednesday. I'm hooked on next gen foxes (one elliot min-jos has no right to be so funny) and intrigued by brussels, so I guess I'll leave it up to you? Thankss

Have a nice day : )

I’m gonna give you some of the night that Elliot and Abram first hook up..... (if that's news to anyone reading this then reference this)

-

Elliot doesn’t mind parties like these.  Scant lighting, people everywhere minding their own business, some playing drinking games in the kitchen, way too many shoved into the dark living room shouting over the music pulsing through all of their veins.  Bodies pressed against one another while some danced to whatever throwback was playing, others flirting with people who were either interested or oblivious.

He and Abram sneak in from outside, winding through people and trying not to get beer spilled down either of them.  Elliot pulling him through with a tight grip on his hand, shouldering his way into as much of a clearing as he can manage.

He trips over someone’s foot and curses under his breath as his heart drops.  Abram uses his free hand to grab the back of Elliot’s shirt to keep him upright, and settles it on his waist to stay close behind, and Elliot doesn’t have the courage to glance back at him.  The touch on his waist is enough to send hot sparks through his skin.

Elliot hides his drunken grin, hides the excitement just from the touch.

They only get as far as the front door before they end their search for space.  It’s not big, but it’s enough of a pocket to breathe in until the rest of their roommates eventually fine them.  Knowing them, it could be all night.

Abram has already announced that they were all heading out, the responsible mother hen he is.  From there on it’s up to the others to actually make it out of the house alive.

“They’re never getting up here!”  Elliot laughs, head swiveling to search for their friends.  He shakes his head in disbelief, hiccuping and humming as he leans it back against the wall.

Abram stands turned to the side beside him, his chest pressing to Elliot’s shoulder.  It’s an intimidating sight, Abram with his arm up above him on the wall, almost looming over him.  Elliot forces himself to look away.

But because he’s drunk, Abram’s voice in his ear startles him.  “Hey.”  He turns his head.  His face comes way too close like that, but he doesn’t have the courage to move it.

“Hey,” he repeats.  Abram smiles softly, drunken eyes squinting a bit.  Elliot has no idea what he wanted to say, not in this state of mind, at least, but he bites his lip and unapologetically scans Abram’s face.  He flicks his gaze down to his mouth and wills himself to keep breathing.  How much has he drank?

“Hey, that thing you posted,” Elliot slurs.  “Were- was that true?”

Abram doesn’t tweet as often as Elliot does, that’s for sure.  And surely not personal or inappropriate things.  For him to post, “just when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, you want to fuck a blonde guy” is definitely, in Elliot’s opinion, outrageous compared to his usual content.

Abram’s tongue darts out and over his bottom lip, then he bites it softly afterwards, slow and teasing.  He nods at a snails pace, humming in agreement.

He looks down at Elliot’s mouth- or was it just his chin?  Was there a difference?  Regardless, Elliot’s body is a mess.  Swaying under the influence of alcohol, sweating slightly from the overpopulation of the house, chest constricting and heart pumping loudly in his ears.  Whatever song playing through the house sounds like garbled nothings to him.

His breath hitches heavily when Abram’s hand slides onto his waist, thumb pushing into his belly and smoothing over his covered skin.  The pressure sets his skin ablaze.  He knows that Abram has big hands, but there’s a difference between holding it himself and feeling it envelop virtually his entire waist.  God, is he lightheaded?

Elliot loosely hooks his finger in Abram’s belt loop before he even recognizes doing it.  He swallows and tilts his chin up, just barely, balling his fists behind his back and trapping them against the wall.  

Abram’s breath is warm on his cheek, smelling of the same beer Elliot has been drinking ago and a hint of the toothpaste he’d used just before they left earlier.  His forehead brushes against Elliot’s, not quite pressing together but teasing the touch, and if he justleans a bit further then-

“Yo, we looked everywhere for you fucker!”  Colin and their other roommates pop up unexpectedly, nearly tackling them with their alcohol induced excitement, jumping and cackling and hollering.  Elliot lets himself be wrenched away and out of Abram’s touch, starting out the door without a second thought.  His heart still overworks itself, setting a beat far too fast for the song playing and warning him of what he almost just did.

What they almost did?

[haedgaf]

hello please share some tmi about your crush with the crowd (i got nosy after all these asks you answered yesterday..) (and obviously only if you want to….)

HAJDHAKDHSKDJDK OMG I LOW-KEY WANNA GIVE A WHOLE RUN DOWN PF EVERYTHING but let me just show the tweets i made that explain what happened 😒😒

BRO EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN IS AHSKSHDKDB I WAS SO DEVASTATED 😭😭😭 june you don’t get it i want him sooooo bad 💔💔 he is so cute and funny and silly and that’s exactly what i look for in a boy, his only flaw is that he is like a few months younger but errr but at the same time i’m convinced i only like him because i’m so love and crush deprived after my two last class crushes left the college so i had to settle for him.. ANYWAYS

some crush lore: i swear at one point he wanted me not kidding you like last school year we literally had this moment where the teacher tasked students to help each other and i basically already knew what to do but he went up to me and asked me if i understood and i was like “yeah i did this last year” (since he was a new student last year while it was my second year) and he DECIDED TO STAY AROUNDGAJDHAKD BRAHHH and then he just talked to me for 30-40 minutes about EVERYTHING and at some point i placed my bag off the chair and he said “i’ll sit down here” EEEEEKKKK and just continued to tell me about himself brooo i learned so much about him that we literally found out we went to the same secondary school WE ARE SO MEANT TO BE IDKKK and i swear our conversation wouldn’t have ended jf it wasn’t the end of the lesson 😭😭

if i wasn’t already crushing on someone last year i would’ve been hitting on him but i think about it so many times now like fuckkk HE WANTED ME THERE IS NO OFHER REASON FOR HIM TO WASTE HIS RIME WITH ME ONSTEAD OF HIS FRIENDS 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ (but maybe he considered me a friend because i lowk used to always harass him by coming over to him because i was bored and wanted to know what he did) (BUT JUSY OUT OF FRIENDLINESS, now i’m too embarrassed to go up to him like fuck 😭)

there some other moments too but urghh this year i was just like he is so stinking cute man (i always thought this) and i was like ykw let’s make him my class crush and then i overheard the fact that he got eyes for someone else like FUCK MY LIFE MAN.

[oddlylovingaddiction]

Yandere!Evon Malk x has common fucking sense, works by running the goggle Twimmer account, leftist!Reader

DO NOT SUE ME PLEASE. THIS IS SATIRE AND JUST FOR FUN…. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA—

TW! KIDNAPPING, REFERENCED STALKING, BILLIONARES, IMPLIED FUTURE FORCED MARRIAGE??

You’ve been working for goggle for awhile. You’re okay at your job. You’re mostly customer support, which means you get screaming adults accusing you of stealing their wifi. However today you have been promoted to the job at goggle everyone envies. Running the Twimmer account for goggle. It pays really well. Which is good, you aimed for a high paying job to help homeless people in your spare time. You often provide for your community with a community garden, a daycare you run on the weekends with some of your favourite leftist tambourinlr users, and more. You’re just a hardworking, kind, person. Well. Usually…. you see you just found out that Twimmer is now owned by Evon malk. And you fucking hate billionaires, especially Evon Malk, because he’s a dumbass. You’ve already made several billionaires and companies lives more difficult (including goggle.) by egging their houses… So, you made a goal. You shall tweet bad things about Evon Malk. Using the goggle Twimmer account.

Day 1.

The first twimt and the twimt you would come to regret:

“Good morning Twimmer Users!” You start off light, calling Twimmer its true name and not whatever bogus Evon renamed it. Just Little pokes you know?

Day 18.

“Why does Twimmer look like an adult rated site…?” Good, you’re getting the hang of it. Really making fun of Twimmer was easy as shit so you didn’t have to do much.

Day 50.

“ @.Evon Malk is #BLOCKED by goggle!” That’s when you hit them, the big one for your 50th twimt. Of course everyone who was a billionaire D-rider was pissed however mainly everyone thought it was funny. After all of that, You decide to go out for drinks with your friends after successfully making fun of him for a whole 50 days. Little did you know… this action would have consequences…

As you were walking home from the bar suddenly BAM! you get hit over the head with a metal pipe and you crash out. The next thing you know you’re tied up on a chair in a dark room, you’re scared, rightfully so. You can’t see anything, other than the small crack of light from underneath the door… Suddenly the door opens, a stream of light blinding you, you scream but of course you have a mouth gag on…. then he enters…

EVON MALK?

You were flabbergasted.

“My love…” Evon Malk said as he quickly rushed to your chair and hugs your legs stuck on the chair. You were extremely confused… Evon Malk? Calling YOU his LOVE? He must’ve gone mad. “I saw those twimts about me… Ive always been in love with you but when you twimted about me I knew our love was mutual…” He caressed your face lovingly and you felt extremely confused, more confused than you were already. He undid your gag, you had no doubt there was no one who would come help you if you screamed. “What… how do you know me?” You whimper, you’re so close to tears and fucking biting off his nose but you don’t. “My mom picked you out when I was 10 from a large data base containing a list of potential brides. Of course I was originally going to rizz you up the normal way. However you already knew me. You already loved me. Honestly all that stalking was useless now but seriously I’m just glad our love was mutual.” He said kissing your cheek. You gag from the kiss. He gives you a foul look and puts back on your gag that you originally had on. “I’m going to pretend you’re just sick okay love?” He said smiling at you before he grabbed your chair and carried you out of the room and into his regular house.

You were so confused.

All you knew was that you probably wouldn’t be home anytime soon.

And you were right. The next thing you know you’re strapped to an alter being forced to marry Evon. But that’s for another story….

Part 2? Maybe at like 5k notes or when I get motivation LMFAO..

[glitchaxolol]

Honest opinions on Wrestlemania XL Sunday:

Drew v Seth: I was so happy for Drew when he pinned Seth. Seth was taking those hits like a boss but Drew was honestly slaying. Drew’s entrance looked cool asf but wth was Seth’s😭!? Him tweeting during the match was actually so funny. But anyways, DAMIAN CASHING IN WAS AMAZING AND JUDGEMENT DAY CHEERING TOGETHER AT THE END MADE ME SO HAPPY!!! (I expected Damian to cash in but I was glad he did) Match was still really short tho.

The Pride v The Final Testament: I like both teams but may I say, Scarlett and Karrion looked badass. Some of those hits had to be painful, on both sides. Also Karrion just picking Scarlett up at the end was lowkey sweet. Again, it was really short.

LA Knight v AJ Styles: That flip from AJ over the top rope was smooth. Both of them got in some good hits. That Avalanche German Suplex was actually insane. I was honestly rooting for AJ(who was looking like an absolute daddy btw😩) and I’m genuinely sad he lost. The end was lowkey stupid tho.

Randy Orton v Kevin Owens v Logan Paul: The start was genuinely funny, Randy getting on the back of the cart and riding along. Teaming up on Logan was a good idea. Also like, what did KO expect? Ofc Randy was gonna try to RKO him. They all got some good hits. I was NOT expecting IShowSpeed to be in the suit😭🤣! I was pulling for Randy but I still didn’t mind Logan retaining. Honestly he makes a good heel.

Bayley v Iyo Sky: Bayley’s wrestling gear looked great but Iyo looked lowkey drunk walking down(lol). They both gave us a good match tbh. Bayley was being an absolute beast, taking those hits pretty well. And I’m so happy that Bayley is finally getting what she deserves, she absolutely deserved that win!

Cody v Roman: The orchestra for Roman’s entrance was pretty cool honestly. (He looking fucking hot as ever btw🤭 also he stuck his tongue out so omfg, he cannot keep lookin like that😩). (He could call me a little bitch if he wanted🤞). Jimmy and Jey coming out to fight was pretty cool. I was just waiting for Solo to show up lol. John Cena and Rock coming out to face off with each other was great! I was hoping Dean was the one to come but Seth is alr ig. Roman choosing to hit Seth over Cody was a nice “Fuck you” for when they were in Shield. I actually cheered when Taker came out!!! Both Roman and Cody were absolute BEASTS during the match. I love Roman and I would’ve loved for him to win but it was for the best.

Overall: The matches were a bit short but holy shit was it worth it. The main event was amazing and so chaotic!!!

Reminder: These are just my opinions so don’t get like pressed or anything lol.

[niamhthefae]

short thing i wrote to celebrate 15 years and what could have been if they decided to put many people in the hospital via hard launching:

(p.s. if you want more of my phanfiction, check out @niamh-writes-things )

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

15 years.

15 years since dan first fell in love with phil, since he got on a train to meet a stranger and spent the weekend entertwined with him. 15 years of sharpie fumes and phil’s plaid shirts and videos and games and waking up with their legs tangled together and morning coffee while they talked.

When dan had been 18, he was just starting uni. He never really thought that anyone would like him, he never expected to have any light in his future. The last 14 or so years he had spent in school had mostly consisted of being pushed around and sworn at while everyone else looked on. It was hard to remember a time when everything was so grey. He felt a bit like dorothy from the wizard of oz; he had spent 18 years in black and white, and then this tornado of a man wearing mismatched socks showed up and made everything technicolour.

15 years. god, how had it taken him that long to do something? Now the world new what he had once spent every night sick with anxiety about, everything was so fantastic. He could be a little bit more himself and put away the metaphorical (and physical) straighteners in the closet and shut the door. He could parade around on halloween in a slutty nun costume or pose wearing only a sweater and thigh highs or make 'phil's a bottom' jokes on the gaming channel.

Most importantly, he could spend every day next to the man whose love saved his life.

1 year and a few days. Things were going well, and one night phil had turned to him and asked if he wanted to give it one more try. A year or so ago they had walked into a church to film a video and phil had said fuck on camera. And he watched PJ and Sophie lug in a literal coffin while trying to not bang their feet or trip, which was rather surreal. One year of filming videos and laughing and making sure they said so little yet so much.

15 years all for one moment. Love,Tears,heartache and a thousand crisises and hospital visits all leading upto one post.

“It’s not too late to stop. We can post the gerard cutout picture or post a funny tweet about them not letting us in” him and phil were sat on the couch in the tour bus, staring at dan’s phone,lay on the table displaying a picture of them holding a flag. If dan thought hard, we could almost still feel the polyester in one hand, the side of phil’s face in another and a pair of lips pressed to his own. Only he didn’t need to imagine, because he had the real thing next to him. He leaned over and grabbed phils face, giving him a short kiss that was slow and light and filled with trust. Afterward he lay their foreheads together “i’m scared phil, i really am. But i also don’t want to have to hide forever. In all honesty, i think if it werent for all that repression and bullying i would have been screaming from the rooftops a long time ago. I really love you Phil lester.”

By now dan had already memorized the multicoloured speckles of phil’s eyes, yet every so often he looked into them and there was something deeper. You could go swimming in those eyes

“I really love you too” phil reached down and entertwined their hands, then pulled away so he could pick up the phone “we face it together,” he said “no matter what happens” “Together” dan repeated.

And together they hit post.

[transpersian]

Did you really go on Poppy’s stream to harass her? Christ, it looks like your friends from Kiwi Farms are rubbing off on you. Did you really think that move would convince people you aren’t a vindictive and malicious ex?

So let me get this straight: you think that I went on their directly controlled gg site to "harass" them, where they would easily and quickly be able to ban me, and for the first and only message guaranteed to go through, I picked "oh hey am I somehow unblocked? lol" as the best way to hurt them in that moment?

Please, I am begging you to think about how absurd of an accusation that is. While I'm sure that they've made a convincing case in isolation for why I'm insane, I would hope that I haven't come across as completely fucking stupid.

Here, you can look at the whole clip yourself. See what I said. Does that seem like someone who's locked and loaded for some prime harassin' time?

lol

No, what happened was that I went to their GG site for the stream because I like being able to scroll through chat if I miss something. I noticed my old account was still accessible, so, being the silly little dipshit ball of chaos that I am most of the time, I typed what I typed and hit "send," fully expecting it to reject the message.

It did not, and I immediately regretted my actions to the level of shouting, "Oh no, oh NO! OH SHIT."

It was very funny, but not nearly as funny as watching Poppy try to navigate the moment live. "You don't get to be in my chat" was particularly good; I literally don't care. I have no use for their chat. What am I going to do, argue live with their fans who have absolutely no context or reason to listen to me? No.

There are a lot of people getting involved here who have no window into who I am or what my personality is beyond the text on this blog, so a lot of you don't know what a derpy little ball of chaos I can be. This was a chaos ball derp moment.

And honestly, aside from my posts on my own accounts, I’m confused as to what you’re calling “harassment.” Them calling this a harassment/hate campaign doesn’t make it one; it means they’re trying to stop anyone from looking at what I have to say.

I’ve actively, publicly pushed back against people using the g-word to describe her. I pushed back against the pedojacketing. I’ve corrected misinformation on other posts. I unpinned the “SFW Spaces” tweet as soon as I saw that they’d fixed their pre-roll.

As wild as it may sound from where you’re sitting, I’m actually a very reasonable person. I mean, do y'all still think this is fueled by breakup spite? Seriously?

Please hear me when I say this: my life as it stands now is better than it was when I was dating Poppy in literally every respect. Better environments, more empathetic and emotionally intelligent community leaders, better support, more intelligent conversations, no constant battles to defend something you like because Poppy wants to be act snobby and condescending about it, etc.

My darling partner and fellow "evil ex" @helavitrum and I strongly agree that we've both scored massive upgrades, and I can't tell you how wonderful it's been to reunite with other people looking for refuge after they see the rotten core of The Foundation for what it is. They’re people as good as PZ pretend to be and they’re looking for like-minded individuals, just like we are.

See, I recognize that the reason they're telling you that I'm just some crazy, obsessive, “psychotic” ex isn’t because they deliberately want to hide the truth; they see what I say as manipulation and lies because they literally do not recognize the harm they've done. What I'm doing doesn't make sense to them in any other way, so that's the translation they share with everyone else.

They have no idea what motivates me.

I mean, yes, I still get upset about the things they said and did, but not because it's still eating away at me or something; it's because they were incredibly shitty things that go against everything that PZ supposedly stand for, and they're continuing to perpetuate this harm against others who come to them for safety.

I get upset because I know so much more about the larger picture and how the behaviors you see in my account are only scratching the surface.

It’s okay, though. Genuinely, I mean this: I understand how you feel about me and I don’t begrudge you your feelings. I don’t think you’re a bad person for thinking these things. If I were in your shoes with just the information that you have available to you, I’d look at me like I was crazy, too.

But the thing is that you think you're protecting a "Lindsay Ellis.” You're not. You're protecting people more akin to iilluminaughtii. Or Lily Orchard.

If you genuinely care about the truth, you should read what I have to offer as far as evidence because, at the very least, I am providing evidence. Practically everything they've said about me (and others) has been their word with nothing else to back it up, uncontested by anyone else involved because their goal is not resolution or honesty; it's control.

And I don't just mean that you should read what I've already provided. I understand if that's not enough for you to understand what I'm doing.

I mean what's coming.

I can only present it, though. It's up to you to decide whether you want to form your own opinion or have it fed to you exclusively by the alleged abusers (and their inner circle).

Until then, I wish I could share more, but I can't because I don't want it spinning off into wild, out-of-control conjecture.

Unlike PZ, I respect the weight of what I've been entrusted with too much to mishandle it for the sake of saving face.

[kittenwalker]

I had the idea of evan and actress reader reading tons of thirst tweets together. Just saw a lot of videos and thoughy it would be nice with evan too omg. You can chose if you wanna write with both or not.

notes : this is very short and shitty but I had a hard time writing the speech and actions together so like yea just a little blurb :) Also evan and reader are just best friends. Enjoyyy

“ Alright ready? “ the producer asked. Y/n looked in the mirror and touched up her hair a bit before nodding her head. “ Okay action! “ The cameras started rolling as Evan introduced himself first. “ Hey Buzzfeed, I’m Evan Peters with the lovely Y/n Y/l/n and today is another ungodly episode of thirst tweets. These are actually going to traumatise me. “ He laughed and slid a hand over his face. “ Don’t worry you’re not alone “ Y/n patted his back, both of them making sad pouting faces. 

“ Oh don’t make them think we kidnapped you here and forced you two to do this! “ One of the crew members shouted from behind, making everyone burst out laughing, lighting up the atmosphere. Both the actors pulled out their phones and clicked into twitter, the horrifying and chaotic app. “ Alright shall I do the honours of doing the first one? “ Y/n asked Evan. “ Yes please, I don’t think I’m ready. “ Evan took a deep breath in and heavily blew it out, making you chuckle.

“ Whenever I see Y/n on screen I can only think of letting her sit on my face and me eating the fuck out of her. “ Her eyes were widening as she was reading it. “ Woah already on a great start here Y/n “ Evan gave a funny worried look. “ Yea uhm, well I appreciate being on your mind and hope I taste good in your dreams? “  She shrugged and made an uncertain expression. Seeing that Y/n didn’t have anything left to say, Evan started with his first tweet.

“ When I stumble along a video of Evan, my vibrator suddenly appears in my hand and bussy is purring. “ Evan laughed out loud and shook his head in disapproval. “ God these people on twitter need to be controlled! I’m disappointed in you people on this app. “ Evan put a hand on his chest and acted like a disapproving dad, making Y/n playfully hit his shoulder and laugh at him. Them grinning at each other brightly, “ Okay my turn, this is funner than I thought kinda disturbing but that’s the twist to it. Alright next one, Y/n seems like a great person to have a smoke with while watching a sunset, making out with her till the dusk takes over the sky. “ 

“ Aww, that’s actually really cute and should’ve been the first one I started out with. Well if you have time we can go have a smoke together, I’m free tomorrow in fact. “ Y/n joked, making a hand into a phone and putting it to her ear, mouthing the words ‘ hook me up ‘ with her wiggling her eyebrows. “ Don’t worry about her people, she’s just desperate for friends, she’s a loner. “ Evan used his large hand and covered Y/n’s face. “ Hey! I choose to be alone sometimes okay “ She scolded Evan, smacking his hand away. He put up his hands in defeat and cackled, “ I trust you, but remember when you’re lonely I’m here to cure it “ Evan placed his hands onto her hand and puckered up his lips while smiling. 

“ Yea yea yea, read your next one big boy “ Y/n gestured to his phone. Evan focused his gaze back onto his phone and scrolled to the next tweet. “ I would like for Evan to push me against the wall with his hand around my neck, choking me, then smashes his lips against mine and we have a very heated make-out. “ Hearing him read out his tweet, Y/n almost spat out her water. She was shocked, who knew the internet was so wild and brave to say such things. “ Bravo you’ve got your first nasty one that WILL haunt your dreams tonight. “ Evan just stared at his phone disgustingly, poor man is disturbed. 

“ Well firstly, I’m traumatised. Secondly, I would never choke anyone because I am not a sadist myself and wish to not hurt anyone. “ Evan placed his phone faced downwards and wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead. “ Yea guys don’t misunderstand that he’s a sadist, because he’s actually a secret masochi- '' “ Guys please don’t listen to this little girl she doesn't know anything that’s coming out of her mouth. “ Evan interrupted her by putting a hand over her mouth. Taking this as an opportunity, Y/n pinched him arm away, making Evan wince. 

“ See everyone! I just got it on black and white that Evan enjoys painnn. “ Not giving a single second for Evan to respond, Y/n moved on to her last tweet. “ Okay last one, let’s get a juicy one. Ah this one, I’m literally so gay for Y/n I wish I could make her feel so good. “  Oh did Y/n love having an effect on both genders. “ Well my fellow, sorry to break this to you but Miss Y/l/n sexuality isn’t colourful. “ Evan said while still soothing his pinched skin. “ Welllll you’re wrong, I actually don’t have a label so you freaky fellows still have chances. “ Y/n smirked while squinting her brows together. 

“ Omg you’re saying I have a chance too!? “ Evan dramatically gasped while flicking his wrist. “ Nahh you’re just my best friend “ Y/n wrapped her arms around his shoulders while smushing him closer to her. “ Way to go for friendzoning me “ Evan mumbled into her hair as he pretended to cry. “ Your welcome, now read your last tweet crybaby I can’t handle this suffering any longer “ Picking back up his phone he read the last and final tweet to end this pain.

“ I wish Evan Peters could smash a laptop on my tits right now, oh come onnn. Why is it always violence? “ Evan sighed. “ Oh well at least it’s over, now put down that phone and delete that app later. You're too sweet for it. “ Y/n suggested as she funnily pushed off his phone patted his head, acting like his mum.

“ WELL uhm that’s it for today’s disturbing thirst tweet, uhm buzzfeed please never invite us again though it was our pleasure to be here.” Evan unexpectedly shouted his sentence, making Y/n jump and her making a ‘ are you crazy ‘ face. “ Yes thank god let’s please wrap this up but also don’t forget to watch our latest movie American Animals streaming on netflix and hulu. “

Y/n was so glad to wrap this up because all she learned today was that she made the right choice of not being on the internet.

[khaleesiofalicante]

what if alec actually did have that heart attack we all thought was the hospital scene in tlnd

“You ridiculous man!” Magnus hisses. “What were you thinking?”

“Magnus, calm down,” Alec rolls his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“Only you would have a heart attack and tell everyone you’re fine,” Magnus grumbles.

“Rafael, tell him I’m fine,” Alec groans.

“You literally collapsed in front of me,” Rafael points out hotly. “You’re not fine.”

“See?” Magnus nods.

“Magnus, you got hit by a fucking car!” Alec says incredulously.

“New York city traffic is not under my control! But your body is under your control, Alec!”

“Isn’t the New York City traffic control also under dad’s control?” Max asks, also lying on a hospital bed for some reason.

“You’re not helping,” Alec mumbles. “Magnus. I’m fine. I bet I can do push-ups. Wait. I’ll show you-”

“Sit your ass down, Alec Lightwood!” Magnus orders. “No more push-ups for you. No more Cheetos either.”

“I didn’t get a heart attack because I eat Cheetos,” Alec rolls his eyes.

“I’m sure it didn’t help,” Rafael says, peering into his phone. “According to Web M.D. you might have something called a peripheral cardiovascular disease and-”

“Give me that,” Magnus plucks the phone away. “Stop scaring him.”

“I’m not scared,” Alec huffs. “And stop ordering people around in a hospital gown. You look ridiculous.”

“Oh, please. As if I can’t pull this off,” Magnus huffs. “And I’ll do as I damn well please. You almost died, Alec.”

“Oh my god. It was just a heart attack.”

“You’re already dead according to Twitter,” Max cackles. “They’re making edits and stuff.”

“Am I trending?” Alec asks.

“Not really,” Max shrugs. “Bapak is trending though.”

“Hm,” Alec says. “Maybe I should get hit by a car next time too.”

“Not funny!” Magnus swats him on the chest.

“Ow! My heart! Help! This man is trying to kill me!”

“I wouldn’t hesitate if you keep acting like a child,” Magnus rolls his eyes.

“Here I thought I was going to get killed by Cheetos,” Alec grins. “But I’m getting killed by Magnus Bane. I once saw a tweet that said you can kill someone and they’ll still thank you.”

“If you die, I will bring you back to life and kill you again,” Magnus tells him.

“Is this some weird way adults flirt or am I just sleepy?” Max asks no one.

[fcb-mv33]

So tired of everyone saying Max was a bad loser for wanting fastest lap to maintain his championship lead. Did everyone forget that during his first title fight every single point was important. Max knows not every season can be like 2022 and he saw the downfall of brocedes first hand. Every point counts and the reliability issue cost him 7 points, he damn well wasn’t going to make it 8. He was driver of the day for a reason. He gained 13 positions and he was only 5s behind Checo. Max needing to get through traffic was the ONLY reason why there was a pace difference during the first stint. The team didn’t want to risk a DNF, that’s the only reason Max didn’t try to gain on him. Max was faster than Checo until he was given a target lap time, while struggling with issues. 18 points is better than none. This is the fourth race Checo has won due to Max having issues beyond his control. Baku: an inherited win from Max’s tyre and Lewis’ magic button. Monaco: Max was in the middle of a lap that could’ve put him on pole, and Checo crashed, whether intentionally or not. He screwed his teammate. Singapore: whatever the shitshow of a qualify session. And now a reliability issue in qualifying for Max. Checo has not won a Grand Prix with Red Bull (his performance in Sakhir in 2020 was brilliant, but Mercedes fucked George over, he was leading up until that point and could’ve taken the win) that wasn’t on pure pace over Max. Yes absolutely formula 1 is also about capitalizing on others misfortunes, but don’t let that distract you that Checo has not outperformed Max during a race since he joined Red Bull.

Checo deleting his original tweet that included “I want to be champion” is everything you need to know where Red Bull’s priorities lie. Do you really think they’ll upset their driver that they’ve signed till ‘28? The longest contract in formula 1? Over someone that’s gotten one year and two year contracts. That won’t happen. Saudi was about minimizing damage from qualifying and getting Max to cross the finish line.

I also believe that the “team orders” for maintaining a lap time was to soothe Perez that the playing field is after Brazil and that Max is willing to follow team orders. Buying some good will. They don’t trust each other. Max asked if Perez is also hitting the target lap time in Bahrain for a reason. He returned the favour in Saudi. If Perez doesn’t follow team orders next time out Red Bull has every opportunity to call him out on it and reprimand him. Ricciardo might not be looming over his head but Lawson might be. Marko was prepared to have him replace Max if the needed. That’s a huge amount of trust in a rookie, they’ve kept him around for a reason.

Let’s be honest as well Max had every right to be pissed on Sunday. He was dominating all weekend and through no fault of his own he started p15 when he should have been on pole and would have won that race I don’t blame him for being pissed. He said it himself he is there to win and when he gets fucked over by reliably he has every right to be pissed.

Checo has only ever won when something happened to Max it’s literally so simple to say that. Since Brazil Checo has been playing up to the “Checo is the victim” narrative and it’s so fucking embarrassing. Since he has gotten to Red Bull Max has always smashed him, Max was a half a second quicker all weekend. Are we also forgetting that Checo fucked his start and also locked up under pressure like twice? We saw that last season after Monaco he crashed in quali in Canada and fucked up multiple times last season.

I think it’s also funny that Checo was so suspicious of his team…he didn’t believe them when they talked about the fastest lap, he called out his own team like I’m sorry but that’s so fucking embarrassing. Checo was told to push and Max decided to charge his battery to push on the final lap WHICH Christian said Checo fucked up. I think it’s pretty embarrassing from Checo that his teammate finished 5 seconds behind him after starting p15 and with another driveshaft issue.

He can tweet about being champion all he wants but it says more about a driver needing to manipulate the media rather than getting it done on track. That’s why Max is the much better driver and person cause he doesn’t cause abuse towards drivers by lying in the media and gets his shit done on track.