#I’m bi and i project onto my comfort characters

[mamabear32]

A couple more!!!

Bucky:

Steve:

Dean:

[allicat0]

hi there! i absolutely loved ur other fan fic even tho i didn’t know the character. made my pussy throb. anywho 😊 just seeing if u are able to write a gojo x reader, perhaps him being older ( older brothers bsf, teacher, etc. ) i also would love to see some discreet public sexy time. ( classroom, movie theatre, pool… i love fucking hot tubs and pools…) thank you so much!😜✌️🎀

Our little secret

Ans: thank you so much for the support, and of course! I’m so excited to write my take on Gojo! Hope you like it!!

Summary: University au! You're working along side your thesis advisor Gojo in hopes to working closer to your ambitions for the future. But being a university student, costs are high and money is low. So to be able to keep up with your school you have a little gig on the side.

Content: MDNI, 18+, abaf reader, smut, forced proximity, dubcon, oral, penetrative sex, domination, degradation, praise, making out, rough sex, oral sex, penetrative sex, teacher/student relations, dominant Gojo, submissive reader

A/N: I apologize if not all of my historical information its 100% correct, I did do a little research for it to make as much sense as I could. I also apologize for any word vomited, grammar, or punctuation errors. I was up till 2am writing. but hope you enjoy!

You had been given the opportunity to have Satoru Gojo, head professor of the History department as your Thesis advisor. It was all still a little unreal to you, but you couldn't be more grateful. You have spent countless hours with one another, early mornings and late nights, doing your best to progress with your latest research proposal.  “The Villa of the Papyri” you said, placing your stack of papers down onto Gojos desk. “Now that surely is a pretty big project your-” He began to reply before you quickly cut him off “I understand it’s a lot, and that most of the contents inside got destroyed but there are over two thousand lost scrolls that reside inside that structure. There could be so many answers about the lost city of Herculaneum that those scrolls could contain!” Your look was genuine. . and so full of hope that he just couldn't say no. 

As weeks passed, you still had no leads. Weeks turned into, months, and months turned into a year, endlessly working alongside Gojo. Despite your research not flourishing as much as you had hoped, your relationship with your professor grew more than you expected. It didn’t feel like work, it was tolerable to be around eachother, it didn’t feel like he had some weird authority complex over you, you were comfortable, you couldn’t help but admit to yourself some feeling for your professor began to form and you wished nothing would come in between that. .until something did.

Being a university student, especially in the department you're in, funds are high and since you were usually busy researching all day, you had a hard time getting a stable job that worked around your harsh schedule. The school did pay you money to go through with this research but it was barely enough to buy you a loaf of bread and toilet paper. You needed money to survive and things were getting a little tight, so you thought working at your local club didn’t sound like a horrible idea. . as a dancer. 

Zafrio, is one of the more popular clubs in the area, but they worked well around your schedule, Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays every week. The pay was beautiful, every penny you made on that stage was yours to keep, on top of that you also got your bi-weekly pay which 10% of it went through tip - out to the servers, but you weren’t complaining. On average you made at least four hundred dollars a night, but on good days you would rack up closer to a thousand. 

Tonight was your Saturday shift, the busier one out of the three. As you were getting ready backstage a familiar face walked into the club, the club was packed full of people, he made his way through the crowd, brushing past people shoulder to shoulder, getting closer to the main stage. Now he didn’t come here often but when he did, it was every Saturday at eleven, to see you and only you perform. He used having a large crowd to his advantage as he was often hidden, so you seeing him was never a concern of his. How he found out about your little side job was not intentional, he just happened to stumble into the club with some of his friends one night, and there you were working. Gojo was beyond intrigued, so ever since that day he’d been coming to watch you perform, he didn’t know why he came back, but all he knew was that he started thinking of you in ways he’d never dare think of before. 

Your stage name gets called and there you are, walking out onto the stage over to the pole, beginning your number for the whole club. Cheers filled your ears, watching the money fall onto the stage, the serotonin that pumped through your body was unbelievable and he watched, every. Last. second. His eyes never leaving you or your body. The way your hips sway to the music, it was like he was in a trance. 

As you finish your number your eyes fall out to the crowd, adjusting from the bright stage lights shining up at you. You start to strut off and out the corner of your eye, you see. . no it couldn’t be. What was he doing here?? Your heart rate began to pick up. What was your professor doing here?! You quickly rushed the rest of the off stage. Did he just see you perform? Your mind was rushing at a million miles a second. 

You arrived backstage and looked in the mirror, your mind began to spiral and your heart picked up its pace, that was totally him, there was no denying it. “Is everything alright?” one of your fellow dancers came over to see if you were okay as they noticed you were panicking. “Yah.  .yah i'm fine” you said to put your clothes on and packed all your belongings. “Something came up and I really need to go, please let the boss know I’m sorry.” You knew all of the money you got from that dance would be taken care of by your boss, and were quick to leave, walking out to your car and heading home. 

Monday finally rolled around and you were on your way to Gojos' office to start work. If it were any other day you would be eager to get back to work after a weekend break, but today wasn’t any other day. The events of Saturday night still loomed in the back of your mind, you didn’t want to admit it but you were scared to face Gojo, how were you supposed to just act normal after that night?!

You opened the door to the office and plastered a smile onto your face and there he was sitting at his desk. “Good morning professor.” you said, making your way into the room, closing the door behind you. “Good morning, how was your weekend?” he asked, his eyebrow slightly arching with the question. You felt a lump form in your throat forcing it down before speaking. “Ah, it was quite relaxing,” you said trying to cut the conversation. “I'm surprised, you spend your weekends working do you not?” his head tilted ever so slightly, a smirk forming in the corner of his lips. He knew what he was doing and he knew you saw him that night. 

You froze in place for just a moment, “i'm not sure I know what you mean” Gojo looked at you right in your eyes, leaning forward so his elbows were resting on his knees. “I think you and I both know what I mean” your breath hitched, there was no going back, there was no avoiding this. You watched as Gojo sat up from his chair and made his way around his desk. Leaning against this chair and resting his ass against it he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Well. . am I wrong?” This was it, your career was over, there was no way you would be able to recover from something like this, you knew the risks and yet you still took the chance, now look where it got you. 

You could feel yourself trying to choke but in the coming years, you were trying your best to keep yourself together. “Now you know there's no reason to lie to me. .” Gojo pushed himself off the desk and made his way towards you, your eyes never leaving him. He walked behind you, leaving your sight, but you could feel him looming over you. “Professor look, moneys been low and.” his hot breath suddenly hit against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” His words were soft. 

Your shoulders tensed as he placed his hands on them “Is this okay? Can I touch you here?” Gojo let out softly once more, you simply nodded your head being speechless. His hands began travelling down stopping right at your hips. “You know. .I have a confession of my own. Ever since I found out about your secret endeavours. . I haven’t been able to stop going back. . I can’t stop thinking about you in ways I shouldn’t.” He choked out, Gojo was doing his absolute best to keep himself at bay. 

“Really?” you said, sounding surprised, his words were making your stomach flutter. As much as you wanted to deny this as wrong and unprofessional there was a recurring curious thought that wanted to find out more, what exactly was he thinking. “The thought drives me crazy” the hold he had on your hips gets tighter, but you move away from his grip, turning around to face him. His eyes were drawing you in like never before, you couldn’t describe it, but his gaze was full of pure lust. 

You bit down on your lips, you were unsure what to do, act professional or. . no what were you thinking! “Darling,” Gojo said, snapping you out of your thoughts. His hands coming up and cupping your face, his thumb trailing softly against your cheek. “Gojo I. .” You stood there speechless. “This is unprofessional.” You try to centre your thoughts “I think we’re long past that.” he said his hand never leaving your cheek. His face leaned down his lips inches from yours “if you want me to stop then tell me, I want you to be okay with this” you looked up at him through your lashes nodding your head ever so slightly. “Please. .don’t stop” you let out quietly just enough for him to hear you. 

Next thing you know you felt Gojo’s lips press against yours, lips moulding with one another. His kiss was delicate, but carried so much passion and lust behind every movement. Your mind continued to spiral at every given minute, but you didn’t want to stop, you wanted more. Gojo’s hands travelled down before taking your ass in his hands giving it a squeeze as he continued to kiss you. 

His tongue slipped past your lips and moved with yours, but it didn’t last long as he was quick to pull away to catch a breath. His head moved to your neck planting firm kisses against your neck as his hands made their way up your shirt, cupping your breast in the process massaging them as he continued to place his markings down your neck. “You’re fucking gorgeous” his voice was breathy, against your skin.

Gojo guided you over to his desk, turning you around to your back facing him. His hands lingered at the hem of your pants, thinking for a moment before he pulled both your pants and underwear down revealing your slick pussy. Gojo went down onto his knees to get a better view, his hand trailing up and down pushing in between your folds, slowly sticking his middle and ring finger deep into your pussy, causing a moan to escape your lips. “What if someone hears us?” you asked nervously. He continued to pump his fingers in and out of you slowly watching how your pussy swallowed his fingers “let them” he said. 

The speed of his fingers began to pick up the pace causing soft moans to escape through the seam of your lips. Gojo pulled his fingers out of you, spreading your legs open enough to lodge his head in between your thighs, dragging his tongue against your pussy. As you lay there leaning over his desk, gasping for breath, Gojo tasted every inch of you, savouring the sweetness of your flesh, he knew exactly where to touch, how to caress, driving you further into the realm of ecstasy. Your hips would involuntarily push back into him as he lapped his tongue over your clit, exploring every curve and crevice, bringing you to the edge of climax. It was almost painful, the anticipation and desire building within you, but you wouldn't trade this exquisite torture for anything else. 

As you were nearing release Gojo pulled away standing up, quickly unbuckling his pants to unveil his already hard twitching cock eager to pound into you. He held the base of his cock, dragging the tip in between your wet folds, before slowly pushing himself into you, causing a groan to escape from the back of his throat. His hands grabbing onto your hips, he began to slowly move his hips watching your pussy swallow his cock. “You feel so fucking good” he said as he began to pick up the pace. Your hand moved up to your mouth blocking out the moans leaving your lips, doing your very best to stay quiet enough so others wouldn’t hear your lewd sounds. Gojo’s thrusts became rough, his hand releasing your hip entangling his fingers through your hair tugging on it as he pounded into you. “You’re such a good girl, taking me so well”. 

As Gojo continued to thrust deep into you, you felt yourself coming closer to the edge once again, the knot building up in your stomach from him constantly hitting your G-spot. Your free hand moved down in between your legs and moved rapidly against your clit. “ you gonna cum on my cock baby?” He asked you, smirking down at you, how he enjoyed the sight. You let out a moan as your legs do their best to hold themselves up through your orgasm, Gojo was close, you could feel his cock pulsating inside of you. His thrust was becoming sloppy and out of rhythm. With a few more thrusts he quickly pulled out of you, his hot cum hitting against your back “fuck” he said out of breath looking down at the mess he made, but god it was fucking hot.

His body pressed up against your own, planting a soft kiss against your shoulder. Moving the hair away from your neck and planting them slowly against your neck as well, he let out a light groan, the vibration of his hot breath against your skin made you shiver. “Let's get you cleaned up baby” Gojo said, going back to his cocky smug voice once again. “Oh and. .lets keep this our little secret alright?”

@allicat0 signing off. .

[musicalmoritz]

this gonna be a weird question but ever since i have know Aoinene. I have always found a consistent theme of Aoi being a lesbian. While it cool, interesting and all, it hard to found anything canonically to use to prove the interpretation beyond "it just a vibe" . It doesnt interfer with the shipping experience but it still an interesting HC that i would love to found some canon material to build on.

I’m so glad you asked this, I’ve been trying to find a way to talk about my feelings on the lesbian Aoi headcanon for a while now. I’ve written it in my own fics a lot but I have some issues with the way people treat it so I’d like to make this a more nuanced discussion

First off, where does it come from? To answer that question you have to keep in mind that as the manga chapters were being released, fans had no idea where AidaIro planned to go with Aoi and Akane’s relationship beyond what they could infer. While it seems obvious in hindsight that Aoi always liked Akane, a lot of lesbian readers overlooked those hints because they were able to relate to being pursued by a relentless man that they didn’t want. They found comfort in Aoi’s character because her perceived disinterest in Akane was something they could connect to their own experiences with their male best friends falling for them

Then we have this scene, which is a whole rollercoaster in and of itself. At this point in the manga, fans didn’t know Aoi was faking her personality. She only existed as Nene’s popular best friend, the girl with the rumors. And, of course, the girl who kept rejecting Akane. Aoi and Nene seemed to have a very close friendship, so when this scene came out, many readers jumped to the conclusion that Aoi planned to confess to Nene. This, coupled with her constant rejection of Akane, led many fans to believe Aoi was a lesbian. Not just as a cool headcanon, but as an actual theory. To this day some fans still call her queercoded, and that’s where I have a bit of an issue with the headcanon

Because, despite all of this, Aoi isn’t a lesbian in canon. She’s not even coded to be one. In fact her and Akane’s characters aren’t able to develop without each other. Some fans chalk this up to bad writing or lesbiphobia, stating that Aoi never showed interest in Akane up until chapter 69, but this simply isn’t true. There were numerous hints that Aoi liked Akane back, since his feelings for her were first introduced. She’s shown to be absolutely devastated at the possibility of him dating someone else, and in the Clock Keepers arc we see that she’s been encouraging his pursuit of her this whole time. Fans may not like them, but it’s impossible to deny they’ve been set up since the beginning of the manga- on both sides

However, if you were to call Aoi sapphic coded/bi coded in canon, you wouldn’t be far off. In the Hanako-Kun Of Magic au, Mei fell in love with Aoi through a spell. After the spell wore off, they were confirmed to still hang out. They hang out so frequently, that it makes Mei’s little sister jealous because Aoi is stealing all her attention

It wouldn’t be a reach to assume they’re dating in this au, which would make Aoi bi or bi-coded in canon (though it’s very up to interpretation so I wouldn’t say she’s as strongly bi-coded as Kou or even Nene). It rubs me the wrong way when people discuss her potential queercoding and entirely ignore her feelings for Akane just because they don’t like the ship, it feels biphobic. It’s also been implied that Aoi has liked men (or people in general) other than Akane, he joins school clubs based on whoever her current type is

Canon aside though, I’d like to talk about why people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. Namely, why I still like it in fanon despite feeling that it has a very weak basis in canon. Because for some fans, Aoi’s true personality reveal only made their love of the lesbian Aoi headcanon stronger

Remember how I said fans overlooked Aoi’s feelings for Akane because they projected onto her? I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that as long as they aren’t bringing their bias into analyses. I’ve read many Aoi queercoding analyses where the creator completely ignores Aoi’s attraction to men in canon due to their own projection, and I hate to say it but that is a bad way to analyze. I’ve mentioned before that I strongly relate to Nene’s shallow crushes on men because they remind me of my own experiences with comphet, but I would never call Nene lesbian coded because that would ignore her entire arc with Hanako. Project onto characters all you want but leave that out of your analyses

Anyways, the reveal that Aoi had been faking her personality only gave the lesbian Aoi headcanon more fuel. At this point in the manga, fans were already fully convinced that Aoi was a lesbian…so to find out the pretty popular girl was hiding her true self from the world?? I mean that sounds queercoded as hell. And I won’t lie, I relate to that a lot too. The need to hide who you really are is a nearly universal queer experience, so pretty much any character that has that storyline is going to hit home for a lot of queer readers. That same trope also plays into Mitsuba’s queercoding, so yeah. Despite all the romance stuff with Akane that happened in those chapters, the big takeaway for lesbian Aoi truthers was that Aoi had been hiding a part of herself that the world would shame her for

This is furthered by her relationship with femininity. Aoi plays the role of the ideal popular girl, a common archetype in media. These girls are feminine, passive, kind, humble, and all the boys love them. That is the image Aoi presents to the rest of the school. However, the real Aoi is nothing like that. I wouldn’t go as far as to call her masculine, but she doesn’t act like the poster child for femininity when she’s being her true self. She’s bitter, arrogant, spiteful, and she only really cares about two people. Lesbians tend to have a very complicated relationship with femininity, because heteronormativity asserts that the defining trait of being a woman is your relationship to a man. As a woman, you are someone’s wife, daughter, mother, sister. So when a woman has no interest in men, she loses a core part of her “femininity.” Some lesbians choose to embrace this, they have no interest in femininity so they perform whatever gender presentation they want. Other lesbians reclaim femininity as something defined by themselves, not society. So when lesbians see a character faking her personality to conform to the societal expectations for her gender…oops she’s one of us now lol. This is also why the transmasc Aoi headcanon is popular, though I won’t be getting into that today

There are more simplistic reasons people like the lesbian Aoi headcanon. It fits a trope, the popular girl who’s pressured to be perfect is secretly a lesbian. Then she falls for her fun and quirky bisexual best friend. Unfortunately this is where the headcanon gets very boiled down, people want Aoi to be something that she’s not in canon. They want her to be a trope rather than her own, unique character. The aesthetic girlboss lesbian. She hates Akane and has a huge crush on Nene, maybe some mommy issues and that’s all there is to her. I don’t like these type of headcanons very much, they reduce queerness to an aesthetic rather than an experience. As I mentioned, the lesbian Aoi headcanon does have potential for fanon content, but some fans sadly reduce it to a stereotype

I’ve written both bisexual and lesbian Aoi, and I think they both have their perks. Lesbian Aoi requires a bit of stretching/rewriting of canon, which can be fun but it has to be handled very carefully. Otherwise you get fics that villainize Akane and ignore Aoi and Nene’s complexities. It’s perfectly fine to project onto a character and headcanon them a certain way for comfort, but in terms of characterization I would recommend people try to look past those biases when they’re writing analyses. Fanfic is a bit different bcuz that depends on whether or not you’re trying to stay in character lol, this might be controversial but some writers just don’t care and that’s fine too. They’re just writing it for fun, it doesn’t have to be that serious. Still, I would like to see more fics that keep Aoi and Nene closer to canon (they absolutely exist dw)

The reason I hesitated for so long to address this headcanon is because I wanted to find a way to talk about it sensitively. Queer fans, especially lesbians, already get a lot of flack for their headcanons and I didn’t want to make it seem like I was invalidating anyone’s experiences. If the lesbian Aoi headcanon brings you comfort then, yes, Aoi can absolutely be a lesbian. Fandom is about fan enjoyment, not authorial intent, so headcanon the characters however you want. Just don’t push those headcanons into others, and try to at least be aware of what’s going on in canon. And again, don’t write an analysis if you’re going to be biased. A better way to do it would be something like “I recognize that AidaIro didn’t go this route but it would’ve been interesting if they made Aoi a lesbian.” An analysis like that might have some weight to it!! Aoi and Akane are a super cute ship, but another straight relationship is nothing revolutionary in fiction. However, canon lesbians in a shonen series?? That’s something you don’t see every day. People have valid reasons for wishing Aoi had been written differently, I just wish they would accept that she didn’t get written that way rather than ignoring canon

Sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I hope I explained all sides of the headcanon well enough. Tbh a lot of it is just “vibes” but once you look past the surface, it goes a lot deeper. I also want to clarify that Aoi faking her personality reading as queercoding could absolutely work with her being bi too, bisexuals also have to hide a part of themselves and that’s something other lgbtq+ individuals often overlook. The reason it reads specifically as lesbian coding to some fans is because of her projection of femininity being fake so, by extension, her encouragement of the men who pursue her must be too. That’s obviously not canon but some fans believe it would’ve been a cool route to go. Okay that’s it I think I covered everything lol

Thanks again for the ask, I’m glad I finally got the opportunity to talk abt this <3

[vegafan69]

i mean this in the politest way possible, it’s genuine curiosity: i’m a bit confused about you using the lesbian label but mostly talking about your attraction to men? at least i’m assuming you’re actually attracted to said men and this isn’t a bit you’re doing. is it that you’re using lesbian as a more overarching label and less strictly, like how i as a (ostensibly) bi/queer man call myself gay sometimes, as less of a strict label and more as an adjective?

further question, why would a lesbian (not you, necessarily, i’ve seen other people do this) be a huge fan of incredibly male-centric romance media? from what i understand, the point of romance media is that a person gets some kind of gratification out of it: they want to date one of the characters and they project onto the other character (i am fine with this being the case, i think it’s just how the genre works), but this model doesn’t work when i see lesbians being really into media about gay men (this isn’t necessarily about redacted, this is a more general thing). i guess i don’t understand what they would get out of it, if that makes sense. like when straight women are into gay male ships it’s the same thing as straight men fetishizing lesbians, but i don’t see the transfer with lesbians being really into men. i literally asked my sister this (she is also a lesbian) and i didn’t understand her answer.

again, all of these questions are meant politely and out of sociological curiosity! you don’t have to answer any of this if you’re not comfortable.

The whole time I’m in class i’ve been wondering how i can answer this LMAOO 😭 bro’s channelling his inner Damien frfr

uhm okay imma be real i have no idea how to answer your question so i will be honest the best i can 😓🙏

the simplest answer i can give you is: fictional men. not real. no proper attraction to them. the idea of them is attractive - but not realistically.

also just to clarify - i see lesbian as a proper label and identity, not an adjective. i’m not attracted to men in any way, or at least not anymore (still trying to figure this out) uhm idk about the lesbians liking media with gay men cause im not interested in bl or yaoi or any mlm romance but my best guess is that they’re just interested in queer media 🤷‍♀️

what did your sister say tho i’m kinda curious /lh

i personally separate fictional and real attractions completely 🤷‍♀️ i identified as bi until end of may this year, and have been listening to redacted since last year. i still like vega a whole lot tho idk what that means 😗

[catboyidia]

its june so i wanna share my lgbtq+ headcanons for ffvii characters just for fun, starting with the main playable cast:

(except they’re hcs by an obnoxiously trans gay person that projects onto their faves at all times, spoiler alert: they’re all trans and gay)

- cloud: he/him gay trans man - starting off strong with a gay trans guy (i warned that i would be projecting a lot with my hcs in this post) … but i’ve noticed a lot of other people hc/portray him as a trans man too so i know i’m not alone on this one! i cant explain exactly why i hc like this but i just do, probably cause i like him

- tifa: she/they transfem lesbian - i cannot be convinced that she doesn’t like women considering how she is with aerith and jessie tbh, and i like her so i’ve lovingly hit her with the transgender-inator beam out of love

- aerith: realistically- they/them nonbinary lesbian - i have no basis for this tbh except it just seems right to me! as for my actual hc for her (which is a pure projection, pls bear with me) - he/they gay transman - this is purely my own projection because aerith is really like stereotypically feminine(?) in ways that i am also feminine, so it comforts me to think of her like me if that makes sense

- barret: he/him but willing to test out she/her, unlabeled gender that is not quite cis but he’s only now exploring it and hasn’t quite figured it out yet, bi-curious and experimenting - thats so long but i’m not sure how else to describe it, i feel like he grew up all “traditional” and stuff, and then being a single adoptive dad and being a huge part of avalanche, he probably hasn’t had the time to really think about any of it too much or explore his gender/sexuality, but now he can with being surrounded with others that can help him explore, realize it’s alright to be uncishet, and help him learn about these things

- cid: okay i’m not gonna lie, canon wise he gives me major homophobe vibes (maybe its the raging misogyny that makes me think he’s bigoted in every other way…) but ignoring that he/she nonbinary bi - definitely exploring a lot and isn’t quite set in stone about what he is yet but he just knows he’s not cis or het and with those being more broad and spectrum like labels, he feels most comfortable with those over anything else, and he feels like they’re just right for him

- vincent: he/they transmasc gay - i’ll be honest this is also projection on my part because i love vincent a lot and want him to be like me! also he gives me major gender envy…

- reeve (in place of cait sith): he/him transman and gay - again, i just love him a lot tbh, and i feel like he is the kind of guy that knew who he was from a young age and tried to help out other people that are trying to navigate their queer journeys and find out who they are, i feel like reeve would be a major inspiration and advocate for the queer youth

- yuffie: they/them demigirl lesbian and arospec - she’s definitely still figuring herself out but she has very little interest in pursuing romance, but any relationship she can imagine wanting in her future is with another girl

[imbeingtauntedbyachild]

what is up with this guy

My precious dead 10 year but technically 100 year old! God’s favorite and specialist boy (not a good thing) God made him specifically and made sure his life was absolutely miserable. Tk was born on December 4th 1900.

He grew up in an orphanage and was heavily mistreated by everyone, what god didn’t plan was TK killing everyone except this little baby named callahan, who was the only being to reach out to him for comfort. Tk poisoned himself and died on January 5th 1910 while holding Callahan. He gets to heaven where god immediately isolates and grooms him

Tk is under the assumption that god doesn’t know abt him murdering an entire orphanage so he sneaks down to hell to keep those he killed quiet. And boom callahan is there! TK doesn’t know it’s him but is strangely drawn to it. Anyways worlds most toxic Bi x Pan relationship. Diversity win the demon is pansexual and the child murdering child is bisexual and trans.

His conception was done through picrew which I then based his design off of

After this I immediately drew porn of him and callahan. Oh yea callahan! I forced my bf to make a sh0tacon to go with my sh0ta and he caved in lol. I would show a drawing of it but tumblr only allows 10 images in a post soo..

These were tks 1st and 2nd redesigns

Again! Also pretty rough! I really do try to be kind to my old art/character designs. Especially since these are better than the 1st one but erm. They’re still pretyy rough!

Now we have the most recent redesign/art of him

He’s honestly my favorite oc of all time. Whenever I’m artblocked my hand just moves on it’s own and draws him,, I’ve projected a lot of myself onto him from my very intense emotions, to my narcissistic tendencies, and especially how we deflect from our problems. You know it’s funny how much nsfw I drew of him back in the day, but now I draw him isolated and the after effects of his assaults. Oh yea his hair color is like. Never consistent. It’s always a desaturated light brown but sometimes it looks darker, other times it looks more pink….really he’s just a character to have fun with

[consolecadet]

10 First Lines Game

Tagged by @specialagentartemis (thanks for thinking of me!)

“Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway ❤️”

At Artemis' suggestion, I'm playing fast and loose with the rules and including original fiction too. I feel like I don't talk about my writing in much detail and many of these projects are not online, so I've included some context!

When Gareth Last gets to the top of the stairs to his office on Germantown Ave, someone is already standing there, waiting. “Latent Defects”, last worked on today. Latent Defects is a bi 1980s detective novel I started during NaNoWriMo 2018 and have been working on since. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think I’m getting close to a version I'd be comfortable asking for feedback on! HMU if we're mutuals and you want to read a 350-page manuscript soon (realistically a few months from now).

Kim closes his Mnemotechnique A6 and aligns his pen beside it on the desk. “Boot Black”, last worked on today. I started writing this fic about an undernegotiated BDSM scene between Kim Kitsuragi and Harry du Bois in February because of an intoxicated tag I left on this poor, unsuspecting artist’s drawing of Kim Kitsuragi. It's nearly finished.

He shows him the picture. “Rabbit Vector.” “This is Not a Virtual Simulation”, last worked on March 2023. This year I started outlining a new version of a very old cyberpunk heist novel project. I'm still in the R&D phase, but I did write a first line (or two).

PROBLEM: Lieutenant Kitsuragi seems repressed. “Thought Acquired: Manic Pixie Dream Detective”, finished February 2023. I wrote this Kim/Harry short in the style of Disco Elysium’s Thought Cabinet. An amusing exercise.

It doesn’t feel right to be back at the new school in Trenton so soon, after spending last night watching the shamash until it went out with his siblings. “That’s How Accidents Happen”, finished October 2022. A Latent Defects short about the love interest Luke Whittaker’s adolescent crush on his high school shop teacher.  

The first 30% of Hermann’s flare came from his and Newton’s ill-advised drift with the Kaiju fetus. “It’s the Weather, You Imbecile”, finished September 2022. After joining AO3 and revising my old fics to upload them there, the spirit of 2013 possessed me to write this Pacific Rim porn.

At Goodwill in boy mode, I watch for other shoppers in the mirror above the racks. “#191970 Midnight Blue” for The HTML Colors Zine, finished April 2022. I had a blast writing ten 50-word stories inspired by HTML colors for this zine I found out about on Twitter. Artemis also has some work in here!

A man tried to sell me a daydream today. Adaptive Daydreaming”, last worked on December 2021. One of a few ideas I have in a universe loosely inspired by William Gibson’s “simstim” technology (my version is a device called the SenShare). This one is also inspired by bullshit-artist corporate coaches.

He’s glad he’s sitting on the exam table, because the patterned cotton johnny is too small. “The Transformation”, last worked on January 2021. This was going to be a short story about a doctor dismissing a fat character’s strange symptoms, which turn out to be the lead-up of the character turning into a terrible (yet awesome) monster.

Connor remembers enough to know it wasn’t her fault. “Neural Feedback Loop”, finished/last worked on September 2020. Another SenShare device story. In this one, a cyclist disabled by a car accident takes revenge by using the SenShare to force the pain of her injuries onto the driver.

What have we learned today?

Unlike Artemis, I rarely if ever start a story with a line of dialogue

Despite my best efforts, ~70% of my recent work features a man as the main character

Most of the fanfiction I write is porn, while most of the original fiction I write is not

I tend to start with a zoomed-out generalization, a habit I do not love about myself

Please consider yourself tagged if you want an excuse to share, but I'll also tag @cryptiq @sealcontent @absolutely-basted @animeisgod @tadpoleconspiracy @definitionsfading @saxifraga-x-urbium with the general directive of "I'd love to hear about any category of writing you're working on, but no pressure".

[infinite-orangepeel]

XYZ from the writing asks, plus a bonus question- how did you start writing ftm!Steve and any particular thoughts on that topic? I love your writing so much, especially how you write ftm!Steve <3

omg this is so kind, thank you so much ❣️i’m more than happy to answer those questions and talk a little bit about writing trans masc steve !! again, i so appreciate your support :)

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

if you’ve read my writing, you likely have a good idea of who it is lol. but for anyone who hasn’t, it’s 100000% steve harrington.

i adore him, he is my angel, he is the loml, he is everything to me, and yet, giving him the whumpiest/most tragic/tear-jerking plot lines brings me deep satisfaction as a writer (but only if it ends in a happy ending for him which i always ensure bc i refuse to curse him with permanent suffering—not on my watch haha).

Y: A character you want to protect.

strangely, also steve harrington.

i just want to wrap him up tight, make him some tea, and put him on some anxiety meds (likely bc i project onto his character like no other). however, i also want to protect eddie, the party, robin, nance, and the rest of the crew. i don’t want any of them to hurt !

Z: Major character death—do you ever write/read it ? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate ?

i feel like i can handle a lot, as a reader. i will gladly read the angstiest/saddest/occasionally even dead dove steddie fics. i will blink past gore and tragedy and devastating back story. BUT i draw the line at major character death/angst no happy ending. my tender little heart needs the characters to end up okay. unless it’s major character death after they’ve lived a long, very satisfying life. then, okay i can probably handle it hahaha. and as a writer, i’m no different ! i have yet to venture into killing off a major character bc it would break my heart to do so (though i’d never say never). and as far as one i could never tolerate, probably steve !

as for trans masc steve and how i began writing him—i’ve always really liked the idea of a steve who’s already pretty established in his queer identity/knows what he wants by the time he and eddie collide. as much as i love fics that include eddie being steve’s bi/gay-awakening (and have written them, myself), i find it even more interesting (as a writer) to explore steve as a queer/trans masc character who can deeply connect with eddie on the experience of navigating queer identity in such a closed-minded small-town. a steve who has already been navigating those waters by himself for quite some time and finally gets to take comfort in being vulnerable/open with eddie about his lived experiences just makes my heart very happy. i also think it adds a certain depth to their relationship and i imagine it obviously would’ve been quite challenging to find that sense of community in a place like hawkins.

hope that answers your questions and please, feel free to message me with any others that come to mind :) always happy to share about where my inspiration comes from for my characters !

[lumine-sm]

i just wanna say thank you again for responding to my post, it made me really happy to see, and i love love love talking about headcanons and my favs !! so please feel free to just jump into my notes anytime !!

Anyways, on that note, I'd love to hear about some of your Gorou headcanons if you're comfortable sharing ? :3c (no pressure of course!)

No problem! I’m glad I got to hear some takes on this as he’s not a character many of my Genshin playing friends tend to take much interest in and honestly your headcanons are just really good!

For me personally my main interest in the character comes from the way he helped me get to grips with my gender identity a bit. Because of this my head canons and theories tend to lean towards Miko and his life outside the army, which is why I hadn’t considered the Kokomi headcanon.

Personally I headcanoned him as bigender for a while, seeing him as coming to occasionally use the Hina pen name in his personal life after stuff like the meet and greet (Gorou Hina skin when? Please hoyo). A lot of this came from projecting onto the character and him being a vessel for my own gender discovery. Now I stand by this headcanon but I’m less… militant about it, shall we say. idk if it’s the best one and I think there’s a big place for transmasc Gorou and however else one sees him! Because really I think there’s a case to be made for a lot of different gender identities which I think makes him a really interesting character, at least to me, a gender enjoyer. That said I do think transmasc Gorou holds the most water and is the most recognised.

I’ve also always been a big fan of Ittorou. It’s canon compliant, they work well together, and also, Itto was my first five star. He was sort of the reason I kept playing Genshin and the reason I first pulled for Gorou. Regarding the ship I’ve read a few fics that follow the premise of Itto falling for Hina then falling for Gorou, sort of like that old post about a Bi person falling for a hot man and a hot woman and then realising they’re the same genderfluid person?

I’ve always like the idea of Gorou being a good complimenter? Like you described the way you saw him as a very empathetic person, I see that as one of the ways he connects with his troops, that he’s someone who’s good at positive reinforcement and recognising strengths.

In terms of personality I don’t think I have anything different or interesting to say than what you did. Someone who’s passionate and happy but more quiet and thoughtful in private.

I was originally gonna put this in the tags but here’s probably better. Thanks so much for responding to my asks and reblogs! Hearing someone else’s perspective and passion about something I care about has sort of made my day (I know that might seem silly). I may pop into your notes in the future but

[northern-passage]

i feel that i get a lot of these very specific nitpicks about my characters, always about their sexuality or identity that honestly are.. upsetting. i don't know how to tell you that there are people that have different experiences than you, and just because you don’t personally relate to how this character expresses their identity doesn’t automatically make it “bad.” particularly with the trans identity, it is so varied and unique and different for everyone. this is not a bad thing, nor is it a bad thing when our experiences overlap - we should rejoice in our similarities and differences and enjoy the diverse community we all share.

obviously, i am always open to genuine discussion about things i can do better, but lately it always just boils down to “i don’t like this/i don’t relate to this/i don’t personally do this” and to be frank: the world does not revolve around you. there are millions of trans people, millions of gay people, that all experience this identity differently than you, and that does not make them “wrong.” overall, there are people that really like the way i’ve handled my characters, that really connect with them, and there are people that don’t. that’s just how it is, i’m not here to argue that you have to like my work, and i want to make it clear that there are always going to be people that dislike the content you make, and if you’re a writer you shouldn’t worry about trying to please everyone - it’s impossible, and it’s silly to even want that. however, i do want to say that i think it’s unfair to expect authors to limit our scope to make some people more comfortable, and i think it’s unfair to avoid certain depictions simply because some people don’t like it - because they think it’s “wrong.”

there are harmful stereotypes, yes, and there are a lot of stereotypes about gay people - but does that mean i should just never write about fat butches? i should never write about feminine gay men? i should never write about flirty bisexuals? i should never acknowledge, in my stories about trans people, that there are many trans people that stop taking hormones? should i avoid the topic of alcoholism completely, just because my characters are gay and trans? these are real people that exist in real life and they deserve to have their stories told beyond the shitty depictions made in mainstream media. there’s nuance, there’s precautions that need to be taken, but we should not shun entire groups of people from our stories because people think they are “problematic.”

especially when the “problem” comes down to something as silly as semantics, or something as stupid as making cishet people uncomfortable.

and i understand that i am the author, and that these are fictional characters - i am making these decisions, and choosing to write these characters this way. i have always said this and made that clear, and i understand the concern that can arise regarding these topics - why did i choose to write this trans character this way? what secret motive could i have? why would i call a bisexual person gay instead of bi if i wasn’t trying to imply something? - and i completely get this wariness, trust me, especially in the IF community. but at this point it’s just detrimental. people would rather project onto blank slates than have actual fully realized characters with personalities, with complex identities and sexualities - because obviously if they aren’t perfect, then it’s bad representation and problematic; apparently only cishet characters are given this permission and allowed to be complex and interesting... representation isn’t even the point - i just want to write about people that i never get to see, particularly in fantasy settings, people that i can relate to. im just a trans person writing about trans people, experiences that i’ve had or that have been shared with me. it’s just a bonus that other people feel represented by that. i’m not writing Merry with the expectation that every trans woman will relate to her, same with Lea, same with Noel and Clementine - there is absolutely no way for every single trans person to relate to these characters, and it’s extremely frustrating that this is the expectation. is this how you approach cishet characters? is that fair?

i am not trying to argue that what i have written is perfect, nor do i necessarily think i have the skills (or the right) to even write about some of these other experiences i mentioned. like i said, you don’t have to like my work, and i know i am not above having any personal biases - i have made mistakes, and i am sure i will make more mistakes in the future, and i hope that people will correct me when that happens. i’m also not trying to say that you shouldn’t criticize lgbt content - of course you should! some of it is really bad! some of it is harmful! but at the end of the day, and beyond my work, i am just begging for some of you to understand that reading about different perspectives is a good thing, actually, even if you don’t directly relate to them, and especially if they challenge your personal experience. that is not bad or harmful.

you should not be writing off every single unrelatable depiction as “problematic.” likewise, writers should not ignore criticisms just because they don’t agree with the other perspective. this should be an open conversation, among members of our own community, and we should hear each other out - and we should all be realistic and understand that either way not everyone is going to like or agree with you, and that just because we have different perspectives, different experiences, and different opinions doesn’t automatically make one person wrong, or worse than the other - sometimes we’re just different, and that’s a good thing.

[otakusheep15]

Twisted Wonderland Queer Hcs

Now that I’ve gotten a bit farther into the game, I wanted to make a more in-depth post about my sexuality/gender hcs for the Twst cast. These will basically be a combination of me actually analyzing the game and forming legitimate theories about the characters, as well as me just projecting onto my faves. Remember that this is a safe space, and that all headcanons for the characters are welcome. I don’t want to see any fighting over headcanons. This is all just for fun. 

Heartslabyul

Riddle

Riddle is genderfluid, and would be okay with using any pronouns, including neos. Growing up, he was very sheltered and most likely had no way of properly expressing their identity without fear of punishment. When Riddle arrives at NRC, it’s the first time he’s ever truly able to express herself. Playing around with different pronouns and labels really helped Riddle come out of their shell, and taught them how to be more expressive in the process. As for attraction, she still hasn’t quite figured it out, but Riddle knows that he definitely likes men for sure. 

Trey

Trey is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is pansexual. He just doesn’t understand why gender has to be such an important issue when it comes to attraction. Trey focuses strictly on personality, and has never once cared what gender someone is. As for his own gender, Trey has always felt comfortable with his identity as a man, but he certainly doesn’t mind being more feminine every now and then. 

Cater

Cater is non-binary, and uses they/he pronouns, as well as neos. They are also bisexual demiromantic. Cater refuses to use she/her pronouns because it reminds them of their sisters and how they treated him growing up, but he’s fine with any others. I also feel like Cater is the type to sleep around a lot, but has a hard time developing actual romantic relationships. They’ve probably slept with a good portion of the student body, but they’ve never actually dated anyone before, and rarely has he had any crushes that weren’t strictly sexual. 

Ace

Ace is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s bi-curious. As we all know, he’s had a girlfriend before, so he knows he likes women. I don’t think Ace would have ever even thought about liking men until he starts going to NRC. There, he sees just how many of the students are queer, and he begins questioning his own attraction. Ace still hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but all of his friends are very supportive as he figures himself out. 

Deuce

Deuce is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is queer. I honestly have no canon evidence to support why I think Deuce is trans, but I’m trans and I’ve decided he is too. He probably came out in middle school, back when he was still a delinquent. A major part of the fighting was because of transphobes making fun of him or bullying him over his identity. As for his sexuality, he’s never been one to put a label on it since no labels he’s seen really fit how he feels. For that reason, Deuce just says that he’s queer to make it easier on himself. 

Savanaclaw

Leona

Leona is a cisgender man, and uses he/they pronouns. They are also unlabeled. Leona doesn’t care much for putting how he feels into words, so he just doesn’t bother with it. If they absolutely had to, they would say he’s on the aromantic and pansexual spectrums, but nothing more specific than that. Romantic attraction is something they’ve struggled with, and I don’t think he’s ever had a romantic crush on someone before. However, Leona really likes having sex, and he really doesn’t care what gender his partner is as long as they’re good in bed. 

Ruggie

Ruggie is a demiboy, uses they/he pronouns, and they’re bisexual with a preference for women. They’re probably one of the few students at NRC who didn’t have a huge struggle with his gender or sexuality. Ruggie just kind of woke up one day, realized they liked using they/them pronouns, and that they liked multiple genders, and was chill with it. Having grown up in the Sunset Savana, Ruggie naturally developed an appreciation for women, and most of his crushes so far have been women or fem-aligned people. Maybe only one or two crushes have been for men, and they didn’t last very long. 

Jack

Jack is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. To be honest, Jack has been questioning both his sexuality and gender, but he’s chosen to focus on one thing at a time. As far as he knows, he’s only really felt attraction to women, but there have been occasions where he might’ve felt the same way towards men. Right now, he’s not entirely sure, but he’s not super stressed over it at the moment. Jack is the type to just go with the flow and see what happens in this case. He’s certainly not opposed to having feelings for a man, he just doesn’t know if he ever has or ever will. 

Octavinelle

Azul

Azul is a transgender demiboy who uses he/they pronouns, and he is demiromantic. Azul isn’t quite sure what label to put on their sexuality, but they know he likes boys for sure. And as for romance, Azul has a hard time finding that connection like most others around him. It’s not like he’s never experienced attraction before, he just never felt any strong romantic attractions to anyone. Gender was also a bit of a struggle for them for a while. Gender in the sea is different than on land, so Azul’s feelings on the matter only got more complicated as he started NRC. Eventually, he came to understand himself a bit more, but sometimes he stays up questioning if this is actually how he feels. 

Jade

Jade is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, and they are unlabeled. They have never really been one to put labels on their sexuality. To them, it just isn’t necessary to do so. However, Jade does find some comfort in putting a label to their gender identity. It just makes them feel more comfortable. As for sexuality, they just kind of like whoever they like, and that’s that. They also experience attraction differently depending on the person, so it’s hard for them to label exactly how they feel. Overall, Jade is pretty chill and just kind of goes with the flow. 

Floyd

Floyd is a demiboy and uses he/they pronouns, as well as neos, and they are bisexual with a preference for men. Out of the three Octavinelle students, Floyd is the most expressive when it comes to his sexual and gender identity. They’re never one to hide who they are, and he’s very openly proud. He’s also the one most obsessed with labels. Floyd is someone who, I imagine, likes putting words to things because it helps them explain how they feel more easily. 

Scarabia

Kalim

Kalim is a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is omisexual. He’s always been comfortable with the gender he was assigned at birth, but Kalim is fine with presenting more femininely. If anything, he actually likes to embrace his feminine side every once in a while. As for his sexuality, he’s always known he was attracted to multiple genders, but he usually experiences his attraction in different ways. The ways Kalim experiences a crush on a man is different than crushes on women, and both are different than his crushes on those outside of the binary. Kalim is also very expressive about his identity, and he’s not one to shy away or hide it at all. 

Jamil

Jamil is a transgender man, uses he/they pronouns, and is on the aroace spectrum. They’re not exactly sure if they are fully aroace or just on the spectrum somewhere, but he knows he’s never really experienced romantic or sexual attraction before, nor have they ever had the desire for either. Now, Jamil is certainly open to the idea for both if he ever meets someone he develops feelings for, but they doubt the day will ever come around. Not to mention, his top priority is his work, and they’d much rather focus on that for the time being. 

Pomefiore

Vil

Vil is unlabeled, uses he/him or she/her pronouns, and is queer. He’s never been one for labels, and chooses to just do without them. Instead, Vil just focuses on how he feels in the moment since it changes day to day. Somedays, Vil feels more feminine and prefers she/her pronouns, but most days he connects more with he/him. Just like his gender, Vil feels very little need to label his sexuality. Some days he feels a stronger attraction to women, other days he much prefers men, and lots of days he prefers those outside of the spectrum. To Vil, there’s no point in labeling such complicated emotions, so he simply chooses not to, and he says as much whenever asked in interviews. 

Rook

Rook is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is pansexual. He’s never really been one to look at gender when experiencing attraction. As is very canon to Rook, he just looks for beauty, and anyone can fit that role for him. Rook is hardly shy when it comes to his feelings, and he’ll tell someone when he is attracted to them. In terms of his own gender, Rook feels very comfortable being a man, and he’s never once thought about being anything else. 

Epel

Epel is a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns, and he is still questioning. Gender is something Epel has always struggled with growing up. Where he’s from, men are supposed to be big and strong, not small and weak like he is. His stature has always been a major point of dysphoria for him, and that’s why he’s so intent on becoming stronger. Epel is also insanely jealous of some of the other trans boys at NRC because they’re much more masc than he is. As for sexuality, Epel still hasn’t really figured it out. He’s never really felt attracted to anyone before, and he’s not super intent on trying to date anyways. 

Ignihyde

Idia

Idia is unlabeled, uses they/them pronouns, as well as neos, and they’re demisexual. Idia has no intention on putting a label on their gender identity. All they know is they’re not comfortable with either of the binary options, and they feel much more at ease with they/them or any neo pronouns. And when it comes to attraction, they don’t experience much of it. Idia is much more focused on their fictional crushes to care much about irl crushes. Plus, sex has just never really been their thing. Yeah, they feel sexual attraction sometimes, but it’s hardly ever directed at a real person. 

Ortho

Ortho is a bit of a special case, seeing as he’s a robot. If this were the real Ortho, he would have been a demiboy who used he/they pronouns, and he would’ve been bisexual. But, seeing as this is a robot version of Ortho, it’s a bit different. The version that Idia created will respond to any pronouns, including neos, and he wasn’t programmed to feel any sort of attraction, sexual or romantic. Because of this, you could say he’s unlabeled on all accounts. 

Diasomnia

Malleus

Malleus is agender, uses they/them pronouns, and they’re queer. Having lived as long as they have, Malleus has had tons of time to explore various sexualities and gender identities. I feel like, depending on the time period, Malleus labels themself differently, and these are the labels they choose to use at this time. They don’t feel any major connection to gender as a whole, so finding the term agender really helped them put a label to how they felt. In a similar way, Malleus had a hard time putting a label on their sexuality, so they thought the term queer was a nice way to put it until they could really sort out their emotions a bit better. 

Lilia

Lilia is unlabeled, uses any pronouns, and is aroace. By now, Lilia has seen and heard everything they need to. He’s dated and he’s had sex, and now they’re just kind of over it. Not to mention, Lilia sees everyone as a child, so it’d be a bit weird for her to try and date at all. That’s why they now identify as aroace, since it’s been quite some time since he’s felt any sort of attraction. As for gender, she’s decided that he’s fine with any and all pronouns, and will honestly respond to whatever someone calls her. Lilia is, however, particularly fond of she/her pronouns as of late. 

Silver

Silver is a transgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and he’s still questioning. It was pretty obvious from a young age that Silver identified as a man, even if he couldn’t see it himself at the time. Lilia, however, was quick to pick up on it, and introduced him to the idea of being a boy. Now, Silver is basically fully transitioned, and he’s feels virtually no dysphoria. As for his sexuality, Silver still hasn’t quite figured it out, but he’s not too concerned over it. He knows that he’ll figure it out eventually, and he can always ask Lilia or Malleus for advice if need be. 

Sebek

Sebek is a cisgender man, uses he/him pronouns, and is bisexual. He knew pretty much right away that he was attracted to multiple genders, and he embraced it pretty early on. It was mostly thanks to Lilia and Malleus being so supportive and understanding. Sebek is not one to hide away, and will loudly call anyone out for disrespecting his identity. In terms of gender, Sebek feels relatively comfortable as a man, and he has no intention of changing that aspect of himself. However, he’s still more than willing to be a bit more feminine if asked. 

A couple of other random facts I should mention. I hc all of the boys as polyamorous, or they’re at least open to the idea. Also, I do have my own hcs about relationships between the characters, but I’ll probably make that into a seperate post if anyone’s interested.  

[zeppelin-jackson]

OH THIS IS SOMETHING I’VE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT FOR A WHILE BUT NOW THAT I HAVE MY RIORDANVERSE SCREAMING SPACE I CAN SPILL IT ALL HERE!!

I know it’s not always clear in canon whether Magnus is bi / Magnus is pan / Magnus is straight and I’m not trying to make the case for whether he is this or that. But I do want to talk about how I personally interpret his queerness and how that relates to my own experiences!

Arguably, this segment is the beginning of Magnus’s attraction to Alex:

In the beginning, Magnus is straight-coded in the sense that Alex being revealed to be a girl in this scene is suggested to be what makes Magnus start liking her. But bear in mind that one of the first reactions Magnus has to meeting Alex is this:

Before I talk about that paragraph, I’ll give some backstory as context: as a bisexual person, I gravitated a lot towards those who were visibly queer when I was first trying to find my “community.” (This was around freshman year of high school? The Magnus Chase series was wrapping up around that time and I was just a little younger than Magnus was. I kept up with all of those books; Magnus Chase was and still is my favorite Riordan series. But I digress.)

There were a few times where I was attracted to an androgynous person upon first impression, and I’d eventually realize they were not originally the gender I thought they were when I first saw them! This revelation would either cause my brain to subconsciously amplify or suppress my attraction to them depending on whether I was “allowed” to feel that attraction from a heterosexual perspective. I was attracted to the person either way, but my brain responded to it differently. I wasn’t confident enough in my sexuality, yet, to be able to identify my attraction right off the bat and to be comfortable with it. Reading The Hammer of Thor, I projected this onto Magnus.

Re-reading Magnus’s first impression of Alex, I interpret him as being attracted to Alex but in a subtle way—in a way that he might not consciously have been aware of until Alex reveals her pronouns and then Magnus realizes his attraction loud and clear. Because Magnus says a few paragraphs later that he first thought Alex was a boy in this scene:

After finding out that Alex used she/her, Magnus’s subconscious thinks, Wow! This is someone I am allowed to be attracted to! And he’s suddenly very aware that he likes her. Alex being revealed to be a girl didn’t enable Magnus start liking her, but it allowed Magnus to realize it.

Another small connection I made was Magnus gravitating towards the very-queer-presenting Alex for the same reasons I did: perhaps he was vaguely aware that he was not straight. Perhaps he yearned for someone to relate to and support him more than his straight friends could; perhaps he subconsciously saw, in Alex, his first queer friend.

Now, Riordan certainly would not have known about my experience while writing these scenes. He was probably writing Magnus with the assumption that his audience had previously assumed him to be straight, which is why he’s straight-coded at first and only elaborating on his attraction to girls. But the way I interpret such a specific queer experience of mine in one my favorite Riordanverse character makes me so happy and not to be corny but I guess that’s the joy of being open to interpretation!

[adventures-in-teyvat]

about ships on this blog

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑. i may enjoy these ships, but im not a diehard fan of them. it doesn’t upset me to see different ships or people who disagree with me! these are fictional characters after all. i just enjoy the dynamics that some of them have or like to imagine how they would interact, but by no means do i think that ships are the most important thing in genshin. most of these are just soft comfort ships for me, so i hope you can respect that, and i will absolutely respect you! <3 thank you!

p.s. i’m honestly a huge multishipper; just because these are on the list of my favorites doesn’t mean i don’t like other pairings :3 i love thinking about tons of different pairings and dynamics and yeah

𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧-𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞:

▫︎ cylou

▫︎ alberose

▫︎ bennefischl

▫︎ thomayaka

▫︎ xiaoyu

▫︎ jeanluc

▫︎ chilumi

▫︎ scarazan

▫︎ kazumiya

▫︎ chongling

𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

▫︎ beigguang (ningguang & beidou)

▫︎ wildsong (razor & barbara)

▫︎ huxiao (hu tao & xiao)

▫︎ xingtao (xingqiu & hu tao)

▫︎ kazumi (kazuha & kokomi)

▫︎ kazuyaka (kazuha & ayaka)

▫︎ benbara (bennett & barbara)

▫︎ yoitto (yoimiya & itto)

▫︎ ittosara (itto & sara)

▫︎ niloutham (nilou & alhaitham)

▫︎ wanderlou (scara & nilou)

i would put more but i’m so open to shipping that it would get even more ridiculously long. im just out here having fun with headcanons n stuff n being delusional as hell about characters that have never met

i just want to be clear about what’s on this blog so that people don’t have to interact with things they don’t want to see! everyone has ships that make them happy or comfort them, and i don’t see the need for people to argue over that, so let’s all respect each other :D

also if you look at the list and see all straight ships except for one it’s because im straight lol, shipping (at least for me) is largely projecting onto one or both of the characters. im a straight girl, so the ships i like will almost always involve female characters paired with male characters, either because i see myself in her or i’m attracted to his type or both. ykyk i just wanted to say this in case anyone gets mad at me for shipping pretty much only straight ships😭 edit actually i might be bi😭😭idk im figuring it out😭😭bewbs…..

lastly: the only ships i can say i actually dislike as of now are xingyun, cynari, kavetham, and neuvithesley, purely because they’ve been forced down my throat and treated like canon. i dont have hard feelings towards anyone who ships them, please do not think that!! this is just my opinion and the way i feel because of past experience with specific people, please dont take it personally🧚🏻‍♀️

[kiki-shortsnout]

For the fic writer asks: F, I, O, S? 😊

Hey! Thank you so much for the ask!

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

The one my mind immediately went to it this snippet from Obstacles and Opportunities:

‘Please, Stephen, I’ve known you’ve had feelings for Tony for a while now,’ she peeked up at him, a small smile on her lips. ‘So, why the freak out now you’ve noticed?’

‘Perhaps because, oh I dunno, I’ve never been in a homosexual relationship before?’ He snapped, scrubbing his nails with vigour.

‘Stephen, listen to me. Your feelings for him, they’re not different from what you’d feel for a woman right?’

‘I’ve never felt romantic feelings for a woman, beyond our night together. What if I’m projecting my feelings of loneliness onto him? I’ve not been with anyone for nearly a year now, what if I’m mistaking our friendship for something more?’

‘Maybe.’ Christine shrugged. ‘I for one, don’t believe sexuality is fixed.’

Stephen stopped what he was doing, listening.

‘Society tells us we must be one thing and once we’ve decided that’s where we stay. Gay, bi, straight they’re all only labels, our need to understand. What you identify with now is still you, regardless of who you have feelings for, even if you change that identity later on.’

‘Christine…’

‘That’s what I believe anyway. Maybe you’re right, maybe it’s a projection,’ Christine winked, picking up her sterile towel to begin drying her hands.

One of the main points I wanted to tackle with this single parent Stephen fic was him struggling with his sexuality, and I think the above snippet captures his struggles regarding his feelings for another man.  I’m proud of it because this one snippet is one piece of my writing that lots of readers reached out to me to tell them how it touched them in some way, which, as a writer, is the best compliment you can ever get!

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

In both reading and writing fics my guilty pleasure is one partner being sick/injured and the other having to help. So Hurt/Comfort?

O: How do you begin a story—with the plot, or the characters?

Difficult one as it’s sort of both. I’ve always believed that a story should be driven by the characters and not the plot. What I tend to do when planning is to have a few plot points, what do the characters want, what is preventing them from getting it, how do I want the story to end, but then it’s the characters who drive the narrative while I’m writing, and quite often the plot points get changed to work with the character development.

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

 Hurt/Comfort, A/B/O, Dominant/Submissive……I’ve been itching to write a Sugar Daddy IronStrange, or Camboy Tony recently….so that’s a new trope I’ve been obsessing about.

Thank you so much for this ask!💜💜

Fanfic Ask Game

[crossguild]

quick thots on how to actually create a safe space for poc from a leadership position, keplace week, and racism in the wolf 359 fandom

1. white people need to get educated about racism and racist microaggressions and shut them down WITHOUT PROMPTING when they see it. not wait for poc to speak up, not wait for someone to call it out first, not ignore it and hope no one noticed-- we did, and we see the silence as complicity. we see when they point out homophobia and transphobia and ableism and just ignore racism because it doesn't affect them personally.

2. they need to not immediately get defensive when it's pointed out, IF anyone even speaks up about it. the moment they do, they've lost trust and any opportunity for a good-faith learning opportunity even if they walk it back later. we don't care how good their intentions are, their actions have already demonstrated that they'll defend whiteness and white supremacy as a kneejerk reaction, and take any gentle critique of their implicit biases as a personal attack. there's no walking that back.

3. writing 'poc are welcome', 'this is a safe space for poc', 'racism will not be tolerated' is 100% meaningless when they're actively alienating all the poc in their space. i've been in spaces where white people unfailingly change the topic from race to lgbt headcanons, nd headcanons, and literally any other kind of hc or discussion instead of learning, building, and engaging on any conversation about race just because they don't feel totally comfortable in it. they refuse to shut down racism or racist microaggressions, and that directly contradicts any 'racism is not tolerated here' rule.

4. white fans will infantilize and fetishize characters of color to an egregious degree. some of the worst perpetrators are people who claim to be "fans" of the character when what they're actually doing is projecting stereotypes and/or their own experiences onto a character who has nothing in common with them. poc are constantly forced to empathize with, learn about and relate to white people who have nothing in common with us; we recognize it when they refuse to do the same.

5. if all of the mods and leadership in a space are white, that's a huge red flag. if they can't find poc in their community willing to take on a leadership role, or if they do and that person is used as a token, is not supported when they actually bring up and act on racism, they've been abjectly failed.

6. we see white people forcing identities that THEY relate to onto characters of color and getting really fucking mad when anyone disagrees or has a different interpretation, in ways that they don't do with any white characters or any other kind of identity. i've never seen white people get viscerally angry or uncomfortable at the implication that lovelace is dominican instead of costa rican the way they do at the idea that she might be bi, but that's also because they don't care enough about lovelace to think about her culture and identity beyond what they can project on her. again, fully transparent.

7. zero out of the 7 sign-ups for keplace week in the server are straight (and this isn't including people who didn't sign up but still plan to participate), five are woc, all are interested in a (platonic OR otherwise) dynamic between kepler and lovelace because the infantilizing, entitled and reductive ways lovelace is treated when portrayed by white people in this fandom has basically made us sick of minkowski/lovelace, which is a ship i & most of us DO like but which i trust none but my mutuals of color to write.

8. their assumptions about how qpoc engage with and perceive them as characters and as a dynamic are racist and irrelevant to me, but it would be a lot less obvious if they learned to keep it in private platforms instead of indulging in this pathological need to display their ignorance in public. lots of people in my server aren't interested in the ship! most of them go 'don't get it, but there's plenty of other stuff for us to engage in that we actually enjoy!' or 'i never thought about it before, but i'm willing to listen' instead of immediately doing the pettiest and most obnoxious thing they can think of.

9. podcast fandoms are notoriously racist, as are all fandoms, and to create a space that's genuinely comfortable and engaging for a diverse group of fans is a constant, ongoing and active choice that everyone has to engage in. if you aren't making that choice every day, you are perpetuating the racism and alienation. the difference is stark in who feels comfortable contributing and the kinds of conversations we can have, and at the very least i'm glad i have this space and friends to share it with.

10. this is a server i made in response to seeing a larger wolf 359 server, and the way they refuse to engage on race and make excuse after excuse as to why that's okay yet still trying to claim allyship to poc. there were multiple, gentle attempts to address it, all brushed off or aggressively shut down, and i'm a happier person for not being a part of it! white "allies", once again, proving themselves to be a joke. but we've been saying that for years.

11. you know. we weren't gonna be very public about this event from the outset, but after seeing this aggressive and obtuse reaction (to the point of leaving the server) from some white members, we decided to be a little more public and enthusiastic about it! the fact that white fans reacted with passive-aggression and pettiness was expected, and entertaining every step of the way, since we honestly never expected better.

12. i don't expect this to reach the people who are the most egregious about it, nor do i expect it to percolate or change anything even if it does, but that's not why i wrote this. i wrote this 'cause i know there's lots of wolf 359 fans of color, and i've rarely seen these issues addressed in this tiny-ass fandom. i don't speak for everyone, but i do speak for myself, and either way i've found my community! i hope everyone else is able to do the same.

[steveyockey]

Non spn anon: thank you for answering my confusing question, sorry it was confusing 😅 I must say I’m so intrigued by all the Dean gender discussion posts I’ve seen so when I learned there was a satin underwear moment I was like ?!?!?!!!!! On SPN of all shows? Just so much to unpack here. Anyway thank you again 🙏🏻

okay like I know you didn’t actually ask a question but this ask has been driving me crazy because “on SPN of all shows” non spn anon you wouldn’t know this because you, of course, do not watch spn, but this sort of slippage occurs all the time with dean! as was written in the gospel of dean by tumblr user marcusantonius, the slippage occurs so many fucking times (he likes to wear nightgowns! he knows purgatory is name of a gay club in miami! he’s made everyone he lives with watch lost boys over thirty times! he recites rent lyrics! soft spot for dirty dancing [“swayze always gets a pass”]! loves doctor sexy aka the in universe equivalent of greys! weird kinky sex references about zorro masks and whips!) and with such an earnestness that it actually actively reconstitutes dean against the superordinate classification of Absolute Heterosexual Male the narrative leans on as his assumed identity! 

the thing about a lot of meta on gay/bi readings of dean is that. well. da miller has a piece called “anal rope” where he uses this understanding of coding as a difference between connotation and denotation, basically things that have the potential for a certain reading vs the literal text,

 “connotation... excites the desire for proof, a desire that, so long as it develops within the connotative register, tends to draft every signifier into what nonetheless remains a hopeless task — hence the desire assumes another, complementary form in the dream (impossible to realize, but impossible not to entertain) that connotation would quit its dusky existence for fluorescent literality, would become denotation.”

it’s the same problem sedgwick refers to as “We Know What That Means” in epistemology of the closet, 

“to have succeeded... in cracking the centuries-old code by which the-articulated-denial-of-articulability always had the possibility of meaning two things, of meaning either (heterosexual) ‘nothing’ or ‘homosexual meaning,’ would also always have been to assume one's place in a discourse in which there was a homosexual meaning, in which all homosexual meaning meant a single thing.”

and I have to say anon that back in fandom circa 2014 the panties thing drove me CRAZY because I felt like it was everywhere all the time in every post about bi dean or gay dean or queerbait or queercoding or endverse spiral but NO ONE would ever explain it! “We KNOW What That Means”!! it filtered out into every single fucking fic where dean discovers his sexuality, I swear to god I read so many stories where he had this big sexual identity crisis during which part of the realization would be the panties, just the panties, the fact that he liked them an illumination in and of itself. exactly as you articulated it, a “satin underwear moment.” most interestingly (to me, at least), the idea of the panties makes an appearance in twist and shout but in REVERSE with cas being the one wearing the panties (almost as though through some sort of metacognition the writers understood they were making a work so profoundly out of step with the actual characters the meaning of the panties no longer aligned with the dean they had written - but what about the panties had aligned with dean in the first place!?). 

what DO the panties mean! they could mean a lot of things! sexual domination symbolic castration transgenderism kink fantasy shakespearean crossdressing something something gender roles battering rams to masculinity redefinitions of masculinity transgression of masculinity permeability of the borders of masculinity — nothing about the panties is inherently anything, it’s just about what you as the reader understand their meaning to be, the connotation YOU confer onto the text on the basis that rhonda hurley made dean try on her panties and he “kind of liked it,” and, somehow, and perhaps this is the key, this knowledge is what will convince a future self of dean winchester that his present self is the same self. and of course on the one hand it’s obvious that the assumed private nature of this knowledge, that dean would not have told this story to anyone else and thus only dean and rhonda can confirm its veracity, is the motivator for dean’s admission, but where’s the fun in that! and besides, that does nothing to explain how it come so easily, and so comfortably, which is how a lot of dean’s sexuality is supposed to come to him and part of the project he is cultivating as the Absolute Heterosexual Male! he’s a womanizer he’s a ladies man, again, to quote the gospel, “lovable fucker, always fuckable,” and something about the panties does fit into that, into what has been denoted about dean and sex and how he desires, but! it’s been denoted so thoroughly to collapse the image onto itself, so insistently proffered over and over again that it begs a question of itself and of the very comfortability that dean purports to have in his sexuality and the manner in which he wants you to think he wants the girl in the zorro mask to slap him. so the panties, which could be a reassurance of this comfort in this firm Heterosexual-Though-Non-Normative-Sexually Identity, instead become an object that connotes, along with every other little tic, every slippage, every glance, a hidden truth, a discomfort, a necessity to insist that there is not a secret buried beneath the open-bookedness of his sex life. it isn’t even actually about the connotation striving to become denotation, but rather that the denotation itself lacks stability and so connotation becomes identity as the performance of this heterosexual self tips into parody. masculinity. what a beast.