#I’m aware this is not a real problem

[dante-mightdie]

I’m sorry I have to rant about these fucking delivery apps for a second

the beginning of the end was when they added priority delivery. three extra great british pounds just go guarantee my food is slightly warm. and before you say “oh you don’t have to pay it”

I don’t. and when I don’t, I’m always conveniently the second order and my food is out in the freezing cold UK February weather for 25 minutes!!!

I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT

[justaboutsnapped]

tumblr whites who haven’t listened to a lick of rap before not like us talking about a hugely influential black rapper who weaves politically poignant narratives about his own lived experience as a black person in america, systematic racism, etc: haha he’s so quirky he’s so petty he’s like a trickster god an old god a fae god oooooh he’s a dragon slayer get it cause drake-

[itspileofgoodthings]

two sort of related teaching thoughts I’ve been having as we barrel towards the end of the school year:

1) an aspect of the job I feel I’m just growing into—well, not an aspect, really. More of a central tenet—is being able to see and remember that I teach KIDS. And that is so important to remember in all cases but especially with my high schoolers. They are so young and more than that so much has not happened to them yet. There is so much they don’t know. And the more I see it the more I can be compassionate and yet also removed? Distanced? Not under the illusion that I’m addressing people of equal maturity or experience to me—or even close—and so being at all times mindful of the incompleteness of pretty much everything about them and thus being gentle with them. And also at the same time remembering and rejoicing in their humanity and all their glorious funny raw potential. It’s amazingly hard to do, harder than I thought. But I do think I CAN do it. And it gets a little easier with age.

2) It is shocking how many teachers don’t see kids that way and are uninterested in trying. It’s almost an epidemic the way that teachers swing between appreciating kids as if they were other adults—gassing them up, frankly LYING about their depth or intelligence in ways that shock me on the daily (when people call a kid mature and act like that is a literal statement and don’t contextualize it, I have to laugh, literally none of them ARE mature, they’re all raw; also the smartest of them aren’t deep. They CAN’t be, they’re KIDS)—or on the other hand being disgusted with their immaturity as if, again, they’re dealing with adults. And expressing their scorn and disappointment as if some of that behavior isn’t par for the course. There’s a cruelty in either extreme; there’s a lack of common sense; there’s a rampant sentimentalism. And it makes me almost sick to my stomach sometimes.

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭 😭

The Isolation of Borderline Personality Disorder: A Life of Unchosen Loneliness

I wake up every morning with a sense of dread, unsure of what the day will bring. Will I be able to get out of bed, or will the weight of my emotions crush me? Will I be able to face the world, or will I retreat into the safety of my own little bubble? This is what it's like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

People often ask me, "Why are you so sensitive?" or "Why can't you just calm down?" But the truth is, I'm not being sensitive or emotional by choice. My brain is wired differently, and it's a constant struggle to navigate the world around me. Every little thing can trigger a massive emotional response, and it's exhausting.

One of the hardest things about living with BPD is the loneliness. It's a loneliness that's not by choice, but by circumstance. People get tired of dealing with my mood swings, my intense emotions, and my constant need for reassurance. They get tired of feeling like they're walking on eggshells around me, never knowing when I'll blow up or break down. And I don't blame them. I really don't.

It's hard to be around someone who is constantly struggling, constantly hurting. It's hard to know how to help, how to fix it, how to make it better. And so, people start to pull away. They stop calling, stop texting, stop inviting me to things. And I'm left alone, once again, to face my demons by myself.

It's not that I'm mad at them for leaving. I'm not. I understand that it's too much for them, that they need to take care of themselves. But what they don't understand is that their leaving, their absence, it's what makes me feel even more alone. It's what makes me feel like I'm not worth the effort, like I'm not worth loving.

I've tried to explain it to people, to make them understand. I've told them that it's not that I'm being clingy or needy, it's just that I'm scared. I'm scared of being abandoned, of being left behind. I'm scared of being alone, of not being loved. But it's hard for them to understand, hard for them to see it from my perspective.

And so, I'm left to face this loneliness, this isolation, by myself. I'm left to wonder if I'll ever find someone who can handle my emotions, my intensity, my need for reassurance. I'm left to wonder if I'll ever find someone who can love me for who I am, BPD and all.

It's a hard thing to live with, this constant feeling of loneliness. It's a hard thing to wake up every morning, feeling like you're not worth it, like you're not lovable. But I'm trying, I'm really trying. I'm trying to find ways to cope, to manage my emotions, to be more stable. I'm trying to find ways to connect with people, to form meaningful relationships, to not be so alone.

But it's hard, oh so hard. And some days, it feels like it's just too much. It feels like I'm drowning in my own emotions, like I'm suffocating under the weight of my own loneliness. And in those moments, I just want to give up. I want to give up on life, on love, on everything.

But I don't. I won't. Because deep down, I know that I'm not alone. I know that there are others out there who are struggling, who are fighting the same fight. And I know that if I can just hold on, just a little longer, I might find my way out of this darkness. I might find my way to a place of peace, of love, of connection.

So, to anyone who is struggling with BPD, I see you. I hear you. I feel you. And I want you to know that you're not alone. You're not alone in your loneliness, in your struggle. There are people out there who care, who understand, who want to help.

And to anyone who loves someone with BPD, I want you to know that it's not easy. It's not easy to be around someone who is struggling, who is hurting. But it's worth it. It's worth it to love someone who is worthy of love, who is deserving of love. It's worth it to be patient, to be understanding, to be supportive.

Because in the end, it's not about the BPD. It's not about the diagnosis, the symptoms, the struggles. It's about the person, the heart, the soul. It's about loving someone for who they are, flaws and all. And it's about being loved, truly loved, in return.

[sparky-is-spiders]

So do you ever think about Jon embracing being non human and becoming a worse but much much happier version of himself or are you normal

I am thinking about Jonathan Sims having a fraying connection with humanity All Of The Time. Jon who is drawn to the Eye not just because he needs to know but because being an Avatar just feels Right. Jon who has always struggled to connect with the people around him. Jon who feels he was never human in some fundamental way to begin with, always reaching for all the things humans are supposed to be that he has never been. Jon eternally caught between the knowledge that if he ever stops trying he can only hurt the people around him but if he never stops trying he will always be crushed under the weight of his own stifling humanity. Jon shedding his false skin and feeling nothing but relief even though he knows he is going to hurt people now, and more than ever before, and he is not ever going to stop because the chains are gone and they can’t be put back. This is because I am extremely normal and have no problems at all.

(I think there’d probably be some good Jon/Jonah parallels here if we had ever gotten to see Jonah as he was just starting out. Like genuinely do you see the Vision?)

(I do believe this post is like. Maybe the most articulate I have ever been on the subject. Do you fucking know how much “a tragic loss of life, etc. etc.” fucking Haunts me? I don’t have the words to explain it now and I don’t think I did before either but it changed my brain chemistry please I don’t know what to say but I desperately need to say it.)

(I think this was maybe more. Adjacent to what you meant maybe? Unfortunately I got caught on This Concept and I’m trapped in it now. I hope this is alright)

[femmchantress]

I’m really depressed and anxious today (not that this is unique to today, it just feels particularly bad)

[crowinahole]

Aaahh time to wind down to go to bed with some light reading *opens Ao3 and B-lines it straight to destiel fanfic*

[cheesy-cheddar-sadness]

I DONT FUCKING GET IT!!! WHAT DID I DO???

I CANT FUCKING BE ME WITHOUT YOU

[liebgirl]

the posts i am not posting about this television show. well they are all circling the same damn theme and even i’m tired of it and yet it’s the thing that most begs to be commented on so what else am i supposed to fucking talk about!!

[exopelagic]

i said i wouldn’t do it this time but it’s 3am and mods asleep. boy

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

One of the things I do to decide whether or not something that is the main focus of discussion in fandom spaces is worth dedicating some of my energy to is to ask myself “would someone removed from the fandom space like say a friend or relative of mine care about it and what would their reaction be if I told them about it?” Most times the answer is that they would probably respond by asking “why does that matter?” I just find it helps to break up some of the cycle of conversation that we get bogged down in these spaces and it helps me figure what is worth talking about.

[itspileofgoodthings]

in the most concrete way yet I feel like I’m getting a handle on what my flaws and weaknesses actually are lol.

[scullydubois]

If I have to hear how I look so much younger than 22, like I’m 15, 16, 17 one more time in the near future, I’m gonna lose it

[reasoncourt]

i told my dad that i’ve quit drinking and he was like “you’ve got a date on friday” and i clarified “that doesn’t count” because how can one not have a drink when listening to the hundredth man try to explain crypto or AI to them. it’s not possible

[whoo0sh]

need someone who’ll love me even on hair wash day

[liebgirl]

if i could time travel back to august i would tell myself that it’s not worth it to submit my own script for consideration for this class and i would rather just work on someone else’s. i think i flew too close to the sun there. would quite literally rather be in the boy group than doing this shit rn i’m so over it and it hasn’t even started 😐 “we have to make the budget” “we have to get the documents ready to be printed” girl be so serious we have two months to fill out these fuckass forms. printed when. three weeks from now? you want me to wake up at 8am on a monday morning to meet you so we can spend 15 minutes filling in forms that we won’t be printing for at least 2 weeks. a task i could easily do on my own from the comfort of my couch. you want me to meet up with you so we can discuss the budget (of which there is none. we are paying for this ourselves) of things we haven’t even locked down. like what do you mean you want to talk about the budget. you want to talk about how much it would hypothetically cost to pay an actor we haven’t casted. what is this imaginary world she lives in where everything must be planned out perfectly. i know i’m starting to sound like the bad guy with my “we’ll figure it out as we go” philosophy but seriously girl the more you plan something like this the more it will inevitably go wrong. like she needs to relax before i fucking kill her