#tbh i think i’m more into. like. the transitional period. jon teetering on the edge between terrifying freedom and agonizing constraints
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So do you ever think about Jon embracing being non human and becoming a worse but much much happier version of himself or are you normal
I am thinking about Jonathan Sims having a fraying connection with humanity All Of The Time. Jon who is drawn to the Eye not just because he needs to know but because being an Avatar just feels Right. Jon who has always struggled to connect with the people around him. Jon who feels he was never human in some fundamental way to begin with, always reaching for all the things humans are supposed to be that he has never been. Jon eternally caught between the knowledge that if he ever stops trying he can only hurt the people around him but if he never stops trying he will always be crushed under the weight of his own stifling humanity. Jon shedding his false skin and feeling nothing but relief even though he knows he is going to hurt people now, and more than ever before, and he is not ever going to stop because the chains are gone and they can’t be put back. This is because I am extremely normal and have no problems at all.
(I think there’d probably be some good Jon/Jonah parallels here if we had ever gotten to see Jonah as he was just starting out. Like genuinely do you see the Vision?)
(I do believe this post is like. Maybe the most articulate I have ever been on the subject. Do you fucking know how much “a tragic loss of life, etc. etc.” fucking Haunts me? I don’t have the words to explain it now and I don’t think I did before either but it changed my brain chemistry please I don’t know what to say but I desperately need to say it.)
(I think this was maybe more. Adjacent to what you meant maybe? Unfortunately I got caught on This Concept and I’m trapped in it now. I hope this is alright)
#anyway guess who struggles with Emotions and also discovered it was aro like 6 months ago after years of questioning#and feels Extremely Normal about jonathan sims#tbh aromantic and autistic jon both go SO hard as headcanons#also maybe it/its jon#i think jon fundamentally relates to it/its pronouns in a way he can’t ever explain or articulate#that is made so much more complicated and painful by S4’s. everything.#i need him to Not Use Them but remain agonizingly aware it’s an option at all times#tbh i think i’m more into. like. the transitional period. jon teetering on the edge between terrifying freedom and agonizing constraints#anyway sparky and the one throwaway line in s1 that exploded my brain forever#the problem with this particular topic is i can’t offer a coherant analysis because after two minutes thinking about it i start#just going completely feral over the. Everything.#and my thoughts get reduced to incoherent screaming noises and thrashing#but anyway thank you for the ask my brain is Churning over this ALL THE TIME#aro jon real. and adhd jon real. and trans jon real honestly#like i think jon truly could work as any flavor of trans but ESPECIALLY nonbinary#and this is. part of it.#(part of it is also Projection but shhhhh we don’t talk about that)#asks#it’s not really about aro jon? but i’m putting this in my#aro jon#tag for safekeeping
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