#I’m also not suggesting anyone abandon the concept of relationships any more than I’m suggesting anyone abandon their own gender identity

[pinene]

Waiting for the day when people on here actually deconstruct their deeply held notions of not only monogamy but also the very concept of a “relationship” in the first place. I’m just always surprised that a website with such a descriptivist userbase when it comes to gender fails to consider that there exist paradigms beyond “there’s Friends, Family, and Significant Other(s) :)”

[literatureloverx]

Hello! I have a question about Fyodor. What if his potential s/o, who meets all his ideal types, has a different religion than his? I assume Fyodor is a religious orthodox Christian, and I'm curious about how he might relate to someone who is just as religious but not Christian. I'm really interested in how different beliefs can shape relationships, and I think it would be fascinating to see how Fyodor might navigate that. I hope this question isn't disrespectful or makes you uncomfortable :( —I'm just a fan eager to understand the character better. Have a lovely day, by the way! <3

Hello, my dear, of course you’re not being disrespectful; I cherish your sensibility. Please keep in mind that these are my interpretations, and I could indeed be wrong. Also, I’m very sorry to keep you waiting! ♥️

That’s an interesting concept, and I’d likely classify him as an Orthodox Russian as well. However, this is a topic that requires more time for reflection. I’ve deeply analysed the Abrahamic religions—Judaism, Christianity, and Islam—and have observed recurring patterns that suggest a fascinating possibility: these three religions, at their core, might actually be the same but have diverged in vastly different directions.

One could argue that this is not a groundbreaking theory, considering that Islam and Christianity share about (if I remember correctly) 18% of common ground. However, I’ve noticed other patterns that I won’t be able to delve into here for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, religious topics are very sensitive, and I don’t want to inadvertently offend anyone. Secondly, these ideas start to border on conspiracy theories, and this blog is a literature/BSD blog where I engage with my children in a more light-hearted manner. ♥️

Given these patterns, it suggests the existence of one true religion of God. I can also imagine Fyodor unravelling mysteries and truths that ordinary people are unaware of. Since he has presumably lived for countless years, I believe he might have uncovered the “code” or ultimate truth about God, which would explain his unwavering faith. That said, it’s also possible that he may have taken a misstep somewhere in his analysis—who knows?

What I’m ultimately trying to convey is that Fyodor likely doesn’t fit neatly into the box of any single religious denomination, such as Orthodox Christianity. After all, he only speaks of “God” and never the Trinity, and he also references the Promised Land. He isn’t canonically an Orthodox Christian, but I could see Asagiri simplifying his characterisation and assigning him that label for convenience.

Now, in response to your question, I see two possible outcomes:

1. If we follow the idea I outlined, Fyodor would likely lead his beloved to what he perceives as the “right path” or the true moral and religious calling, meaning you would abandon your current faith to follow his.

2. If we take him as an Orthodox Christian, he would manipulate you into adopting his beliefs, driven by his confidence in the absolute truth of his faith.

Either way, his approach would be unwavering, as he seeks to align you with what he believes to be the ultimate truth.

[ayliffe]

bitching about how people sometimes discuss relationships on here. readmore because this post is going to be so so annoying (plus depictions of emotional manipulation? maybe?)

i understand why people are speaking out against the ?transactionalisation of relationships, and i get it — it’s cold to shut down a friend because you personally can’t be bothered to deal with their feeling kind of sad or whatever; it’s cold not to help ease another person’s suffering in the name of “setting healthy boundaries”. behaviour like that is symptomatic of some sort of problem.

but i do have a problem. i’ve always had difficulties setting boundaries, and many times that’s turned into trying to support someone who needed more help than i could possibly give, to both our detriments. presumably, this isn’t what all these posts decrying what the concept of emotional labour has become are about, but i’m always left to wonder what the right thing to do in situations like that is. are boundaries important until they aren’t? does true friendship necessitate talking someone out of suicide every other night, even as your own mental health slips?

because they don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they chose you. they trust you. and it’s not like they’ve said they’ll harm themselves if you fuck off — in fact, they’ve said they’ll understand if you abandon them because they know they’re too much — but the suggestion is there from the subject and the mere fact that you’re the only one they feel they can talk to about any of it.

and obviously this isn’t the majority of relationships, and i assume this isn’t what’s meant by letting your friends discuss their trauma — but because it’s been a pattern with some of my relationships, when someone starts talking about anything too heavy too often, i’m immediately on edge. i don’t shut them down, but i’m on edge. and i really don’t know what to do about that. i have no interest in sanitising my relationships, but i also don’t want to be sucked into yet another one of… whatever the paragraph above was.

the ideal solution would be to learn to set boundaries — except when does it become appropriate to set boundaries? when does it stop being selfish and cruel? i see comments to the effect of “you can’t set boundaries with other people just to save yourself from being inconvenienced: in any relationship, you are going to be inconvenienced, because that’s what relationships are about” and sure! i get that! and of course there’s a difference between being inconvenienced and being taken advantage of.

i’ve said “i assume” a lot in this post. i want to give people pushing back against setting boundaries for one’s own convenience the benefit of the doubt, because i know my own experiences are colouring how i’m perceiving messages like that.

the thing is, though, tumblr being The Mental Illness Site, i wonder if actually, some of these messages are referring to cases like the one i describe. i’ve seen… jokes? relatable posts? about how everyone here has had to talk their best friends out of suicide as teenagers, and clearly i’m no stranger to doing that. but if that’s the case, if we are including situations like that… why? being repeatedly asked to do something like that shouldn’t be considered part of a healthy relationship, especially for someone who likely doesn’t have the tools to be able to help, and certainly not to be able to do so regularly. all it does is harm both participants.

but of course, that’s just speculation. i’ve been burnt by not setting boundaries, so now i’m overly wary about messages like that. i get annoyed by people making clearly unrelated things about their own issues, and here i am likely doing the same (hence making my own post about this rather than adding commentary to one of the ones i’m complaining about), it’s just… yeah.

tl;dr: don’t love seeing posts implying setting boundaries hurts relationships!

[musclesandhammering]

Every Single Issue I Have With S*lki (It’s Not Just The Selfcest)

Here goes. I threatened to post this a few days ago and never did, but I just saw a s*lki stan Twitter account claim that Loki caring about Sylvie more than the whole multiverse was a Good And Romantic thing and it pushed me over the fucking edge, so now you all have to read this. I’ve divided it into categories cause there’s just THAT much.

OOC Bullshit

• First and foremost, no amount of mental gymnastics you do will ever make me believe that this specific Loki- the one that just invaded New York, that just came off a year of Thanos Torture, that just got done being influenced by the sceptre, that was literally in the middle of a crisis already, and then on top of that went through all the trauma of Ep 1- would even be worried about a romantic relationship. That would be the furthest thing from his mind. Go back and watch how he acted in Avengers- you think that guy would abandon his previous mission to become a snivelling simp for a girl he’d just met 3 days prior? Yeah, there’s no universe in which that makes sense.

• “It’s very in character for Loki to fall in love with himself lololol-“ NO, it’s literally not. Out of all the characters in the mcu, I don’t think I can think of anyone that genuinely hates themselves more than Loki. He even referred to all his other male variants as “monsters” and said meeting them was “a nightmare” in this series. He’s got so much self-loathing, plus the fact that he genuinely thinks himself to be an evil backstabbing scourge- so there’s no evidence at all suggesting that he would ever develop a fondness for, or even be inclined to trust, another version of himself, after only knowing them for 3 days.

• Building on that, the whole concept of Loki falling in love with a version of himself just feeds into the annoying ass misconception that he’s a narcissist. No matter which way you stack it, he’s not. If you’re referring to NPD, he doesn’t fit the criteria, and if you’re saying “narcissist” just as a slang term meaning “selfish and arrogant”, that still doesn’t accurately describe him. But when creators like Waldron and Herron do things like having him fall in love with himself, it makes it so much easier for casual viewers to think that he is.

Shitty LGBT Rep

• It’s kinda sus that Loki’s are allegedly genderfluid and yet the only female-presenting variant we see (and apparently the only female-presenting variant there is, cause the male Loki’s all seemed unfamiliar with the concept) is treated as some kind of mind-bogglingly special paradox. Also very sus that, out of all the Loki variants, the one our Loki falls in love with just so happens to be the only female one. What a coincidence.

• The fact that the creators of the show went around bragging about Loki’s bisexuality and Marvel purposefully (lbr) allowed stories about Loki possibly having a male love interest to circulate, specifically enticing queer viewers to watch the show (you know, the definition of queerbaiting), and then instead of having a male love interest (Loki was the first queer main character, so it was the perfect opportunity) they gave us *gestures to this dumpster fire* this… it’s just a middle finger to LGBT fans. The fact that they would rather have this relationship with all its myriad of problems than have a gay relationship is just……. Very telling.

• While him being with a woman obviously doesn’t refute his bisexuality, the fact that they showed/talked about him being interested in 3 different women (flight attendant, Sylvie, Sif) and never even hinted at him being attracted to a man, definitely makes it seem like they were trying to cover up his bisexuality to smooth things over with the more homophobic viewers. You know? It’s like “I know you’re pissed that we sorta confirmed Loki as bi, so we promise we’ll never mention it again! Or even hint at it! As a matter of fact, we’ll give him lots of female lovies and make him seem as straight as possible! That’ll take your mind off of that horrible crumb of queer rep, right? Please please please keep giving us your money!!!”

• Aside from all the other issues, at its core, the biggest reason why I think I’m so irritated with s*lki is that it took one of the most interesting, complex, and diverse characters in cinema atm and squished him into a tired ass unnecessary heteronormative subplot…. Like literally every. single. other. protagonist. ever. Loki is such a unique character, and it’s so so so incredibly disappointing that they stuck him into that same boring cookie cutter romance that happens to every other character in every other movie I’ve ever seen. It’s a disservice, and it’s honestly just not compelling or entertaining at all.

Thematic Issues Galore

• His arc didn’t need a romance. With anyone. It was unnecessary and it didn’t make sense plot-wise. In fact, one of the reasons he was my fav prior to this was because he was the only big-name mcu character whose story wasn’t muddied-up by a romance that didn’t need to be there. So much for that.

• He wasn’t emotionally ready for a romantic relationship with anyone. Hell, just a genuine friendship would’ve been pushing it for him at this point. He was in such a bad state that any relationship he got into would’ve been toxic and unhealthy for both him and the other person, and it doesn’t make sense why the writers would want to put him in one when there were so many cons and essentially no pros (other than “Uwu aren’t they cute together”).

• Sylvie’s character in general was unnecessary and Loki’s character was robbed just by her being there. The whole show became about her post-Ep 2. They spent most of the time giving her backstory, building her up, telling us how awesome she is, trying to convince us to like her, etc when what they really needed to be doing was building Loki up- cause I gotta say, if I had to describe TVA!Loki in a few words, they would be Flat, Boring, and Weak.

• The romance overtakes the plot. They spend time portraying their supposed connection that could’ve been spent adding depth and complexity to literally any of the characters. They make the big Nexus Event them giving each other googly eyes on Lamentis when it could’ve been so many other way more profound things that speak to the fundamental nature of Loki’s. They have the climax of the finale be “oh no she betrayed him to kill He Who Remains” when it could’ve been something way more compelling (Loki having a moral crisis over whether or not to kill HWR, Loki contemplating the state of the multiverse and weighing the pros and cons of freedom vs order, Loki looking into some What If situations and getting emotional about what could’ve been regarding his family, Loki realising the gravity of HWR’s offer and finally coming to terms with how important he is to the universal cycle, etc etc). The entire plot suffered in favour of a romance that half of us didn’t even want.

• It essentially reduced all of Loki’s potential character growth down to “He did it for his crush.” He seemed to at least have some motivations of his own in Ep 1-2 (feeble as they were) but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, literally every action he took was just him being a simp for her. Why did he lie in the interrogation? To try to protect Sylvie. Why did he fight the minutemen and Timekeepers? To survive kinda, but mostly cause it was important to Sylvie. Why did he get pruned? Cause he got distracted trying to confess his crush to Sylvie. Why did he try to get out of The Void? Cause he thought Sylvie needed him. Why did he stay in The Void? Cause Sylvie was staying. Why did he try to enchant Alioth? Cause Sylvie told him to. Why did the multiverse get cracked open, leading to an infinite number of Kangs waging war on all of existence? Cause Loki didn’t wanna hurt Sylvie in their fight at the Citadel and then get distracted by her kissing him. It’s uninteresting and honestly pretty embarrassing.

• Throughout their “relationship arc” the writers do their absolute damndest to convince us that we should like Sylvie more than Loki. And you know what? It’s the most hypocritical shit I’ve ever seen. They preach and preach about how Sylvie’s life has been so difficult/we should feel bad for her/she had it so bad/poor poor sylvie/she had it SO much worse than pampered prince Loki…. But then they never even touch on any of Loki’s trauma of hardships (the ones that have been ignored for literally 3 movies now). They frame Sylvie as a good person and a Freedom Fighter after she spent literal decades/centuries mass-murdering brainwashed TVA agents and showing exactly zero remorse for it….. but then they make it their mission to constantly remind us that Loki is a terrible person and constantly put him in situations where he’s forced to acknowledge his wrongdoings/show remorse/admit to how “evil” he is for being a mass murderer for like 2 years. They show him on-screen having a wider range of powers than her, and perpetuate his whole shtick of being a “master manipulator” or whatever….. But then they make Sylvie “the brawn” more competent, intelligent, and physically capable than him. Tell me how it’s a good thing for a ship to be so narratively biased toward one character.

Missed Opportunities

• If they absolutely had to have a romance subplot, then they could’ve paired Loki with one of the characters that have already been established OR one of the characters that were a big part of the whole TVA storyline anyway. It would’ve been so interesting if they’d revealed that Loki had a history with some of the players from previous films (Sif and Fandral both come to mind). It also would’ve been really interesting if they’d given Loki a love interest that actually had some allegiance to the TVA as a whole (Mobius maybe, but not necessarily. It also could’ve been Renslayer or B-15). Hell, imo it would’ve been cool if they’d followed through with that “See you again someday” line that he said to the flight attendant in Ep 1. ALL of these characters have way more chemistry with him than Sylvie, and they were also already relevant to the plot without wasting half the show to give background info on them.

• If they absolutely had to have a hetero-presenting love story involving an enchantress-type figure, then there’s a whole Enchantress (Amora) that was actually Loki’s love interest in the comics. Plus, fans have been screaming for Amora to appear in the mcu for years. Plus, Tom literally pitched an Amora/Loki storyline way back in 2012-13. Also, Lorelei (another enchantress) is also one of Loki’s love interests in the comics, and she already exists in the mcu (she was on Agents of SHIELD). There were several different established characters for them to choose from. Creating a whole knew amalgamation of a character and going with the “she’s a Loki variant” storyline was just completely unnecessary and made no sense.

• They completely robbed us of a Chaos Twins dynamic. Had they handled Sylvie better and not forced her and Loki to smooch, the two of them could’ve had a really really complex and interesting sibling relationship. Loki could’ve stepped into Thor’s shoes and sort of used that new role to gain some self importance, and Sylvie could’ve finally had somebody to look out for her/teach her magic/be there for her. It would’ve been very aesthetically pleasing, the vibes would’ve been out of this world, it would’ve been way more profound than this bs, and frankly it would’ve been much more entertaining to watch.

• Loki’s relationship (read: obsession) with Sylvie completely overshadows all Loki’s other relationships in the show. Loki and Mobius were literally the focal point of the series in Ep 1-2, but after Sylvie showed up in Ep 3, they barely had any interactions with each other, and Mobius pretty much faded to the background entirely. Loki had the beginnings of a pretty interesting antagonistic relationship with Renslayer (with her wanting him pruned, then arguing with Mobius that he couldn’t be trusted), but after Sylvie showed up the dynamic shifted to focus on the history between her and Ravonna. Loki and B-15 started off very badly and openly disliked each other throughout Ep 1-2, and then in the end of Ep 2, Loki showed a little bit of concern for her when she was possessed, hinting that they might be inching toward a reconciliation- especially considering how obvious it was that Loki was gonna uncover the TVA’s sins eventually. There was so much potential for him to be the one to give her her memories back and convince her to change sides, but no, of course that honor went to Sylvie. In fact, after Sylvie showed up, Loki and B-15 never even spoke to each other again.

Various S*lki Fails

• If they were trying to convince us that this affection was mutual, they completely failed. There’s nothing I’ve seen that even hints at Sylvie feeling the same way about Loki that he does about her. At most, I’d say she has a slight endearment to him. She finds him likeable and she’s grudgingly fond of him, but she definitely isn’t in love with the guy. Maybe she thinks he’s cute and hopes that he gets out of this mess alright, but her mission obviously comes before him- whereas, it’s been confirmed multiple times that Loki cares about her above anything else. She doesn’t trust him, she looks at him like he’s an incompetent fool half the time, she shows little to no reaction during most of his confession moments, and she kissed him as a means to distract him so that she could get him out of her way. Look, all I’m saying is, when you get into a relationship where one of you is way more invested than the other, it never ends well.

• This goes without saying for a lot of us, but the selfcest is just straight up odd and cringey. If you’re cool with that sort of thing, fine! People can ship what they want! But don’t pretend it’s not at least a little bit uncomfortable. Yes, I know they’re not technically siblings so it’s not technically incest, and they’re also not technically the exact same person, but they’re similar enough that it makes things weird. And yes I know selfcest can’t happen in real life, so there’s no way to judge it morally, but neither can most of the other stuff that happens in these shows/movies (the Snap, Loki destroying jotunheim, superhero with powers being held accountable, mind control) and yet we still find ways to judge their morality, because they all mirror real-world events. (The snap= genocide; Loki destroying Jotunheim= bombing other countries; superhero accountability= weapons accountability; mind control= grooming and coercion). And lbr the closest real-world mirror to two versions of the same person (who may or may not share DNA, family, backgrounds, physical and emotion characteristics) being romantically involved with one another is incest. And you can be ok with that if you want- that’s your prerogative- but don’t get pissy just cause a lot of us are squicked out by it.

• The whole mirror metaphor (learning self love via each other) thing just fell completely flat. First of all, having Loki learn to love himself by looking at someone who mirrors him did not, in any way shape or form, require them to be romantically involved. But they were. Of course. Secondly, the creators have contradicted themselves so many times on whether Loki and Sylvie are the same or not, that it doesn’t even really register to the viewer that the mirroring thing was what they were going for. Finally, Loki and Sylvie are shown to have so little in common- and to have only the most bare minimum of similarities personality-wise- that it doesn’t even make sense that Loki would “learn to love himself through loving her”. Like? They’re nothing alike. So how would he make the connection that he himself is actually pretty cool, based on her alone? There’s virtually nothing in her that reflects him.

• I know the objective of the entire show was to convince us of how awesome and unique Sylvie is, but honestly her relationship with Loki just did the opposite. A hallmark of a Mary Sue is having her constantly upstage the male lead, and then having him instantly fall madly in love with her anyway. And that’s.. exactly what happened here. Everything they’re doing to try to force her character to be more stan-able is really just forcing her to look more like their self-insert OC. Which is exactly what she is. It would’ve been so much more satisfying if she didn’t have to try so hard to look cool, if they didn’t have to try so hard to make her backstory tear-inducing, if they didn’t have to turn our protagonist into a snivelling simp just to prove how incredible she supposedly is. Very much #GirlBoss energy and we all know how performative and cheap that is.

• The entire thing was too rushed, there was too little build-up, and it was nowhere near believable. As stated above, it’s ridiculously unlikely that Loki would canonically even be interested in Sylvie, and this show did nothing to explain why he was. He just suddenly was. There was nothing they showed us as viewers that would justify a guy as closed-off and preoccupied as Loki falling head-over-heels for a girl he just met. Their was no explanation, no big revelation, no reasoning, it just… kinda happened. And I’m also severely skeptical of any love story that has the characters go in this deep after only 3 45-minute episodes of exposition.

I’m sure there’s other stuff, so if anyone thinks of anything, let me know and I’ll be more than happy to add it. Tagging @janetsnakehole02 @raifenlf @natures-marvel and @brightredsunset800 for expressing interest. This is all your faults.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

What’s your opinion for Leo’s reaction to finding out the mc was immortal as well- not necessarily a vampire, maybe they’re some other type of supernatural. I’m really curious because Leo seems like he’s mainly in love with the mc bec they are human.

Hi lovely!!! Always wonderful to see you, hope you’re well! 💛💛💛💛💛

Tbh I think my opinion remains the same about something like this? I'm going to link to an ask I wrote up a while ago, only because it's v pertinent to the subject matter and good background for what I’m going to expand on here.

That being said, I'm happy to kind of tl;dr/expand on what I talked about there. Basically I had the feeling that Leonardo choosing MC as a lover was more circumstantial--regarding the state of his life in the moment, regarding his general feelings about vampires and vampire society, and regarding his unresolved trauma as a young kid.

I guess my answer to that question--and forgive me if it seems like a cop out--is that it really depends, I feel? I think his attraction has a lot more to do with the kind of person somebody is, their sensibility, more than it has to do with mortal vs immortal. If it was an immortal MC that showed ridiculous fortitude and self-control, measured patience and maturity, I really don’t see him not noticing that? I think he would be wary at first (assuming it’s all a front) but with time would likely feel a great deal of love if they were interested in a life together. If they were able to see and understand what he needs and answered those needs, I guess I just really doubt his ability to say no. It’s all he’s really looking for, and the fact that he hasn’t found it after so long really speaks to his frightened evasiveness and the rare nature of that kind of unshakeable strength.

I also think a lot of his hinging away from purebloods (true immortals, in other words) is that he 100% does not want his familia having any involvement in his meaningful relationships. Which might be why he shows more acceptance towards turned vampires, or potentially different supernatural beings.

But I also don’t like giving a vague answer without some kind of explanation as to how I got, to that conclusion, so a boatload of analysis follows below the content warning.

Spoilers for Leonardo’s route and a few mentions of JPN ver content:

I think he has less of an obsession with the idea of mortality, and more like a constant association of goodness and freedom and maturity with humanity. And while it's understandable, there are signs that--when he has the proper time and space to heal--his views seem to soften from those extremes. I mean his decision to live with Comte is pretty much his first step in that direction; it was him acknowledging for the first time that vampires aren't inherently loathsome or incapable of normal living. (On a revealing note, I think it says a lot that he agrees with MC that she is living in a “wolves’ den” but also feels the need to clarify the men are basically the domesticated equivalent. They don’t pose the same threat other vampires typically do to humans because of their lifestyle and sire.) Additionally, his tsun-like behavior towards Comte also seems to solidify this concept for me: Leonardo’s trying to come to terms with something he's sworn to reject since he was young, but also can't entirely deny that Comte is as chill and mature as purebloods come lmao

[There was also an event in the JPN ver–which seems to be approaching the ENG version rapidly, though only the first part is here right now–in which Leonardo fully offers to turn her. MC is essentially on her death bed, and Leonardo doesn’t want to lose her after so little time together; it’s MC that rejects the future as a vampire out of sheer principle. Even more noteworthy is that, when a reincarnation of MC is reunited with Leonardo in modern times, he is revealed to be exceptionally shaken by that loss. There are suggestions he can’t take losing her again, which could mean succumbing to the desire to bite her.]

Two things I feel are necessary to hit home:

The first being that, at least within the storyline so far, the most mature and human-like vampires we’ve seen are Leonardo and Comte. They seek to emulate the maturity they see reflected in the human beings they’ve known all their lives. Given how vampire society and their hierarchies work, I get the feeling humans are nothing more than amusing tools to them--a way to survive and creatures to exercise control over. There’s an objectification and delusion that comes with what I’ve seen, and I think it’s important in this discussion? If the vast majority of vampires behave this way (because I’m ngl, Leonardo and Comte don’t seem very keen on remaining in touch with other vampires all that much) then it only makes sense they prefer the company of humans who can at least share this sensibility of “been there, done that--stop hurting people bc you’re bored/repressed, grow up.”

One event story where this was exceedingly evident was actually Leonardo’s proposal story. If y’all remember, an old pal/acquaintance of Leonardo’s finds out he’s gunning for a human woman and basically goes “lmao not on my watch.” His name was Adam iirc, and he felt he had every liberty to try and pressure Leonardo into turning MC. Failing that, he insisted they should break up and not be together anymore. Now, on the one hand, it’s fair to say that he was looking out for Leonardo in a way–he didn’t want him to end up miserable and alone when she was gone. But at the same time I feel that Adam’s behavior is deeply revealing of vampire society as well lmao. He doesn’t really try to understand the situation, just immediately assumes it’s the only appropriate outcome. It does insinuate a lowkey cultural disdain for humanity: they are imperfect, they do not last or cannot have real value without preservation. If Adam was really Leonardo’s friend, wouldn’t he realize that Leonardo considers vampirism nothing more than a burden that he would wish on no one, much less his future wife? Additionally, wouldn’t he also keep in mind that Leonardo considers human beings beautiful just as they are? Since he fails these basic requirements to understand Leonardo, my impression is that he is influenced by the larger vampire culture to some extent. Furthermore, it underscores just how thoroughly Leonardo has been trained to keep his cards close to his chest for fear of ridicule/violent reprisal: no vampires know his true feelings on the matter because he would be vehemently rejected outright.

[One can also offer that maybe Adam wasn’t being malicious, maybe vampires find human women they fall in love with all the time and turn them (or any other permutation of companionship that occurs), so he doesn’t understand why Leonardo wouldn’t. But even then, to try to force them to break up if she doesn’t turn? A bit overkill imo but also revealing--Leonardo’s will is being ignored for the sake of upholding a kind of ill-founded superiority complex lmao]

While Leonardo does have a somewhat overbearing need to control the pacing of his relationship and who sacrifices what, I don’t think it’s wrong to be cautious--to want to think things through. I think it’s fair to be afraid that the person you’re with can’t handle what you’ve seen/known. But that also leads me to a core issue I have with MC: she doesn’t inspire much confidence that she can handle the life he’s lived, and that’s a problem of both incapacity and incompatibility. I have to wonder how he reacts when he’s with somebody at the same maturity level, or at the very least somebody with whom he can see her strength with time. When MC’s life was dying out he was desperate enough to accept biting her because he didn’t want to lose her–human or not. It’s MC that rejects this solution, which leads me to further believe that he just doesn’t care about the divide when it comes down to it; it has more to do with his difficulty with being vulnerable and fully trusting someone to care about him. (Assuming they also have the fortitude to stay hopeful and relatively strong over the course of a very long life.)

In line with that, the second thing I think it’s important to acknowledge is how deeply hurt Leonardo is as a result of his family treating him like a fool/black sheep. He outright says and heavily insinuates that his family would write her off as worthless, that they’d never accept her--that's his first thought:

Leonardo: “My familia would call you frail. I think you’re strong and beautiful. You do more with your time than we try to do with ours.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MC: “And those letters were from your familia?”

Leonardo: “Yeah. I don’t talk to them or see them anymore. We don’t agree...on a lot of things.”

[Brief intermission here. But lmao. Who does that sound like? If any of you guessed Isaac, that’s exactly what I’m alluding to. Isaac says in his own route smth along the lines of “Why bother trying to get through to people when no amount of talking does any good or gets you any closer to being understood?” Which also explains the way they get along to uncanny degrees: they find comfort in making things/researching because it means being able to avoid the distress that comes with being blatantly misunderstood by others. Their pain simply comes in different dimensions; for Leo it’s about loss and hiding who he is out of fear of rejection, for Isaac it’s about betrayal and people turning on him--ultimately abandonment for both. But I digress, back to the main argument.]

Leonardo: “Once they discovered my location, they began hounding me with letters again. They don’t want me to be with just anyone...They want more purebloods. I’m no more than one half of an equation for them.”

There is a clear implication that his desire to choose somebody that truly makes him happy means jack shit to them. They keep talking over him and trying to wear him down to force him into what they want. It’s no wonder--imo--that he has such a hard time just saying what he wants in his life, to feel like he has the freedom to wish and pursue anything freely. It’s no wonder he just expects MC to spit on everything that’s important to him. It appears as though only other human beings in general and Comte have ever come close to understanding him.

At some point MC realizes that his insistence on being compagni provvisori was originally just another act of sacrifice, and that he was fine with giving up his time and a little privacy if it meant she would be safe. The thing she doesn’t seem to realize in the course of this--and he struggles to say it until later on--is that it stopped being blind generosity. He really did start to fall in love with her, and that’s the whole reason things became even more messy; because he didn’t anticipate not being able to let go on top of the vulnerability. And it’s a big part of why he’s hesitating to speak. He feels he has no right to those feelings, and that he’s imposing on her--not that he’ll be welcome.

And when she did finally admit those feelings were welcome, it was compounded by the parroted views of his family and larger vampire society as a whole. Saying that she herself wasn’t enough, that she had to become a vampire to make him happy. Imo that sounds very potentially retraumatizing given his experiences (people trying to force him into marriages with other vampires who didn’t remotely understand or care about him because it was “the right way of things”). It’s no wonder he freaks out and does something incredibly stupid and insensitive–which is pretty insanely ooc for him.

Leonardo: “...It shocked them. Quieted them down a bit. Hard to get peace when your familia is immortal. Grazie, cara mia.”

Leonardo: “You’re strong, and you’re kind. So probably you won’t cry while I’m here to see it. But when I’m not looking, you’ll cry. If I had done that to you (bitten her, in other words), you’d still be crying when I wasn’t watching... Maybe it’s selfish of me, after what I did, but I just wanted to make you happy. You always look pretty, cara mia, but your smile takes my breath away...It’s not your destiny to love someone who will only make you cry.”

This man literally cannot handle anyone deeply sad or in despair. He’s always going to try to cheer people up and care about them, but general tragedy/emotional discord affects him very powerfully--and it’s likely a reflection of what I’ve mentioned before. He can’t bear to see people feeling helpless or miserable because he’s just been there too many times to be able to cope. He wants to help and heal (even if he’s suffering from prolonged compassion fatigue), but he knows that his powers are limited--even if he is a pureblood.

And the thing is? While it’s misguided to believe she would cry alone when it comes to the context of healthy romantic love (bc the idea would be that you lean on each other when something upsetting happens) he has zero reference point. He was not born as a result of authentic love (his parents never married, he was the result of a procreative arrangement), his family talks over every wish and belief he has and they still claim it’s done out of love/honest concern for him. One can only imagine the serpentine and obnoxious lengths to which his family has deceived or tried to force him into reconnecting with them. Every person that ever did know him/care about him in a real way is gone. Love, for him, has only been a series of losses that left his heart hollowed out; I don’t really blame him for expecting further disappointment and isolation and exhaustion. 

He’s also not wrong in the sense that he partially saw MC do what he outlined, and it’s a big part about what he loves about her. When she was feeling alone and lost–powerless–all she did was shrug and move forward. That doesn’t make it hurt any less, but focusing on what you can do instead of what you can’t do is healthier. And they both have the tendency to hide when they’re in pain or feeling lost, all because they don’t want to trouble anyone. Remember that when he says this, it’s a reflection of himself too: because even if he was heartbroken beyond measure, all he would do is hide it every second; he would never expect anyone to see right through him or care.

I mean I tend think of that one post I saw that talked about how people often see themselves as a social burden when most of their life has just been a series of neglect and loss. They don’t really have a concept of “you’re not heavy because I want to stay with you. It’s my choice to care about you.” How do you feel worthwhile an existence when four hundred years later your family still won’t treat you with basic dignity. The men in the mansion also all look to him for guidance and soothing because of the kind of person he is–he’s either silent in the periphery or helping. He never betrays so much as an inkling of insecurity or distress. 

I mean the whole reason Leonardo comes to the mansion is because he has absolutely no issue helping Comte in a pivotal time of need without seeking much of anything in return. Remember that Comte explains how Leonardo came to the mansion in response to Comte’s distress about the future. This makes sense considering Comte was rapidly trying to stop Vlad by beating him to the punch, and had only enough time to plan the basics. He had no certainty things would work out, much less that his boys would thrive. But Comte, unlike the boys, has become acutely aware of how much Leonardo is hiding his fatigue and despair in the course of being helped. As such, he wants to return the favor--and tries to be a good friend to him as much as he can (handles his insane familia, keeps things light and silly time between them, takes him seriously as a person, doesn’t pry beyond what’s fair.)

[I also think of that psychology concept of “the good enough mother.” It’s not always about being perfect every second of your life. It’s about paying attention and acting where it really counts. I feel like people who grow up under an enormous burden of neglect or parental/mentor abuse have a hard time coming to terms with the idea. This notion that just trying is enough for a lot of people, that showing them they’re not alone is enough to make  difficult memories bearable. Because it’s the oppressive silence and apathy that tends to kills people, imo--not people who mean well. But Leonardo doesn’t really understand any kind of reciprocal or non-self-emptying model because the concept is beyond him. He has no experience with it beyond Comte and a select few humans he’s befriended.]

Let’s continue on this point of MC crying where he can’t see her, shall we? The reason this scares him so much is not because he doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to make the effort. It’s precisely that he cares to the point of madness. It’s that he is legitimately convinced nothing he has to say, nothing that he can do, no part of him is enough to ease what she will have to trade away to stay with him. The core issue is not one of disregard or objectification, I find it to be more about his belief that he just isn’t enough. He doesn’t trust that anyone can love him to the point where just the sight of him or time with him can heal. And while there is a foolishness to this belief, it’s understandable when you consider where he’s coming from. You can call it selfishness, but it just feels involuntary--he has a lot of fear when it comes to love.

I mean Comte even says it himself? His words here always strike me: “I want you to understand, it’s because he cherishes you just as you are--more than he cares about his future or his well-being.”

Comte is openly identifying the way that Leonardo has a tendency to give more than is healthy. That Leonardo isn’t hesitating because his feelings are lacking, he’s doing it because he knows it’s going to hurt like a bitch trying to love her and never ask beyond what feels reasonable. (Spoilers: no request is reasonable. That’s the problem here. He’s convinced he deserves nothing.) Therefore turning her into a vampire to stay with him is--consequently, to Leonardo--out of the question. This is the literal hingepoint at which Comte and Leonardo divide; Comte simply tells MC he’ll take full responsibility for asking so much of her. He intends to make her happy with every single resource and skill he has at his disposal. Even if he doubts his ability or fears losing her to vampire rhetoric madness, he’d rather try than live with the regret and immediate loss. Leonardo is more resistant because of his dour outlook, that her fear of immortality is never going to be something that either of them can overcome. And/or he’s likely afraid she’s only going to regret being together after so long, and might succumb to the ridiculous sort of power/greed complexes vampires seem so attracted to by nature.

I think Leonardo is still coming to terms with the idea that he isn't alone in the world in a lot of ways, and I think he's also coming to terms with the idea that immortality does not equate to evil. Sure, human beings on average are probably more open to flexible modes of thinking and living compared to vampires--their maturity is in some ways guaranteed due to the instances they're forced to adapt to survive. However, just one look at the ruling class and oligarchies of all kinds (even just stubborn human beings) reveals how they are not immune to the same sort of megalomania, arrogance, and thoughtless violence purebloods/vampires are capable of.

So I guess I hesitate when it comes to the thought that he only loves her because she's human. If anything, I think he loves her for the fact that she's very rooted in reality--not quite so bound by the extremes that trouble him. It's one of the many reasons I believe Leonardo needs a lot of maturity and patience; the ability to differentiate between his panicked/overwhelmed/hurt reactions versus his calm is a skill in and of itself considering his capacity for concealment. To say nothing of getting him to slow down when this happens, too.

I suppose I think about it in a way that’s similar to how Napoleon’s main story narrative is framed. While Leonardo’s route doesn’t focus on the grandeur of being a former emperor, there is a clear insinuation here that he also craves normalcy? Just a little life, with a person he loves dearly, where he can rest and be himself for once. I think because he gives off such an appearance of steadiness, people fail to see that he is barely holding on--not to mention the kind of experiences he’s been deprived of (the exact security and understanding he so expertly emulates).

Closer to your question, it’s worth mentioning that Leonardo’s life goal for a while was the creation of an immortal human being--in that he fully recognized human beings could not offer what he needed as they were.

He loves humans because of their adaptability, their frequent desire to keep seeking out hope and making the best of the broken pieces they have. But then again, it has more to do with the nature of how frequently that sensibility occurs in humans vs vampires (and immortality in general): mortality does demand some level of necessity to change and grow. Which is one of the largest trauma points for him; the vampires around him just refused to grow up, always demanding at him like children and obsessed with their power complexes.

Thing is I also don't know enough about vampire society to know how correct this perceived ratio is. However, given Comte's similar avoidance of other vampires and general inability to live with them (he and Vlad were literal childhood best friends and Comte can't stand him anymore lmao) I think Leonardo may have more validity here than people give him credit for. Which begs the question--why did he quit trying to make a human immortal? What was it that stopped him? Was it the horror of what needed to be done to achieve it? Or would a potential companion start to fall more in love with the idea of immortality than they do with life itself/him? I think it’s a worthwhile question to ask, given the disdain he seems to aim at Shakespeare in particular--once human, but now emulates all of the violence and insatiability marked by vampirism.

This is where the transition from human to vampire/immortal contains another hingepoint: is Leonardo so incapable of finding a middle ground because he feels like any choice he makes will be a wrong one? Marry a human, deprive them of a normal love where they can grow old together. Marry a human and turn them, what if they are reborn with immortal wounds/psychological harm? What if time proves they get bored of him or hateful, what if they begin to act like the predatory purebloods he hates so much? Marry a pureblood/immortal, and be hounded by his family for heirs--risk being with somebody who will never love him or their children, and only inspire more misery in the world.

Does it make sense how this can really start to become an anxious downspiral for someone like him? How the personal insecurity and life history comes together to just compound stress endlessly?

That's the thing that's important here, I think. Leonardo just needs somebody who is open-minded, firm, and not easily deceived. If one takes a look at Leonardo's main story route, the whole reason everything goes to shit so disastrously is because MC stops listening at a critical point. Granted Leonardo could have been more forthcoming for sure, but when she started assuming Shakespeare was right instead of seeing how Leonardo was feeling/reacting, she responded in ways Leonardo wasn't prepared for. He never wanted to shake her faith or insinuate whatever she is is not good enough for him, and tbh I think Leonardo downspiraled because it was just the same thing all over again. What he is--a vampire and immortal--keeps ruining everything he wants with his life. 

[thecagedsong]

Forgotten Light Chapter 13: Tunnels

A/N: Hey there, long time no see. Left to hyperfixate on Doctor Who for a while, but I’m back on my Fablehaven business. This is a long chapter, it probably should be two chapters in the final version, but I really wanted to get the tunnels part out. Also, let me know if Kendra’s crafting is making sense and if the dialog for this chapter is working out. Very important chapter. 

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13

Chapter 13: Tunnels

 When Kendra woke up the next morning, she knew Ronodin had left. The night before they had eaten dinner separately, and while Kendra focused on reading or staring at the library wall, Ronodin hadn’t come out of his room. She saw him for a moment as she went to bed, but he turned away from her.

It was confirmed by a note on the countertop.

Love,

I hate to leave while we’re fighting, but I have to go handle another errand for our host. Despite your doubts in me and what I implied, I will be back for you, and we’ll go on another little adventure. This is what we have to do until we can go on the bigger adventures together in the sunlight. At the bottom of this note is another design for an amulet you might try, and we’ll both be working to shorten your quarantine.

Ronodin

 And Kendra was back to feeling bad all over again! She went back and forth all yesterday afternoon about apologizing again, promising that Mendigo wouldn’t stop him if he tried to leave, or holding to her words. It was dangerous. He was trying. She was being difficult. She had a right to be difficult.

Sketched at the bottom of the note was a triangle amulet, with crescents open to the left. Inside the triangle was a circle inside an oval with an ‘x’ through it, bisecting in the center of the circle. Because you have to carve intent into every craft, Kendra had to go look up what the symbol meant in the dictionary he gave her.

The triangle was a curse, and the eye a symbol for blindness. Putting it within a circle, she should be able to direct it only at certain people, namely enemies. Did she want to blind her enemies? On the one hand, it was the same principal as her weakness charm. No harm, unless they intended to harm her first. On the other…

As someone who can count on her hands the number of rooms she’s seen, as someone who is alienating the single relationship she has to get a glimpse of sunlight, and as someone whose most prized possession is a landscape painting of the outside, could she take away someone else’s sight?

Maybe she could limit it to cursing people not to see her. An invisibility charm was a lot less problematic than a blinding curse. Combing through the books didn’t give her any insight on how to limit the blindness. In fact, applying Ronodin’s charm as is to a circular amulet wouldn’t even limit duration. It would blind any enemy that looked at her once, permanently.

It would take good craft and magic application to create, and a single mistake would make the magic run out halfway through the first use of the amulet, leaving a person…partially blinded? Blinded in one eye? Temporarily blinded? It didn’t say, so Kendra had to put a couple of concepts together to make a guess. Magic based on gaze was actually the most magic consuming type of enchantment. That was all it said, so Kendra went looking through her little library for more of an explanation.

She managed to clobber together answers from five different books:

All magic is reactionary, a person must interact with the spell caster or the enchanted object for the magic to be applied. The safest place from magic is away from it. Simply seeing something only activates extremely rare curses and enchantments, usually crafted from Dragon parts, because it just required that much magic. Touch is the most common type of curse conduit, and came in the variations. Presence within an enchanted area or physical contact with the item or caster were the most common. Proximity casting is rare, but technically falls between touch and sight in terms of magic usage. There was also gaseous spells, which technically also operated based on touch, but the enchanted matter expanded, so that’s also deserved a special mention.

Kendra was a limitless supply of magic. If she wore a sight-based curse, well crafted to actually create an effect, it would never run out of juice. It would fully infect others every time. It also couldn’t be used against her to the same potential.

If she made that work, there was no way Ronodin could justify keeping her locked up.

But what if…what if her brother felt like he had to harm her in order to get her to go with him? She could blind him, and not even know it. Is that what old Kendra would have wanted, after giving up her memory for him? No. Temporarily feeling too weak to chase her? Fine. Permanently blinding someone with good intentions? Not fine.

Kendra left the books open and went into the hallway.

“Mendigo?” she asked, and the puppet walked in front of her. “How many hours ago did Ronodin leave?”

Mendigo held up two fingers.

“Did he say words as he left out the front door?” she checked.

Mendigo shook his head. Ha. She knew that he had made that up to keep her from stealing the key.

“You have to follow all my orders, correct?” Kendra checked. And the puppet nodded.

“Are there things I can’t tell you to do?”

Mendigo hesitated, then nodded his head.

“Are the things you won’t do if I tell you impossible because Ronodin ordered you not to do them?”

Head shaking no. She couldn’t ask him about the things he couldn’t do, Mendigo couldn’t handle questions more complicated than yes and no.

“If I gave you a paintbrush, would you be able to write out explanations to longer questions?”

Mendigo shook his head no. Drat. Complicated magic, but not an intelligence behind it.

Could she craft a puppet like Mendigo? Probably not, not unless there was some kind of wood that wanted to become a limberjack. None of her books said anything about creating a little bit of intelligence, enough to answer questions and have memory. But maybe if she got good enough. Though why she’d want another when she already had Mendigo made it a moot question. It was probably impossible anyway.  

“Mendigo, the things I could ask you to do and you wouldn’t,” she asked, “is that because they would be impossible for you to do?”

He nodded, and pointed at the front doorknob. Right, she had told him to open the door, and he couldn’t.

“Would you be able to tell me if Ronodin is the one really giving you orders?” Kendra tried.

More hesitation, then slow nodding.

“Has Ronodin ever given you any orders that you followed?”

More nodding. That didn’t actually tell her much. Ronodin was her secret boyfriend, if she had ever once said ‘Mendigo, do what Ronodin says,’ then the answer to this question would be yes.

“Are you currently following any of Ronodin’s orders?” she said. Vigorous no.

“Right,” Kendra said, feeling a little better. “From now on, you are not to follow anyone’s orders but my own, under any circumstance. Will you be able to follow that order?”

Here came the longest pause. Was it because she was asking him a question about the future? Maybe the enchantment didn’t allow for questions like that.

Slowly, Mendigo nodded his head. That was good.

For the rest of the morning, she settled on making a stronger version of her first amulet, temporary weakening based on intent and proximity. Maybe if she made that good enough, she wouldn’t have to permanently blind someone just to be free.

Ronodin showed up in the late afternoon, but didn’t fully enter the apartment, instead choosing to stand in the doorway.

“I see you didn’t take my suggestion,” Ronodin said, nodding at the newly carved amulet in her hand. She had taken a break to grab a snack from the kitchen, and found him there.

“Is this your way of checking in on me without having to let me out?” Kendra asked, rolling her eyes.

“Well, I ran into a snag when arranging your fake death,” Ronodin explained, “A quick video of you telling the person to help me will fix all my problems. I need to go back out again right away —”

Kendra sighed, “You can come in Ronodin, Mendigo won’t stop you from leaving.” Because it felt like the properly dramatic thing to do, she leaned against the hallway wall and slid down until she was sitting. It took a small adjustment, but her current red dress was stretchy, and she managed to do it modestly.

Ronodin came and slid down beside her, and the door swung shut.

“I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” Kendra said. “it’s not fair, and there’s no excuse, but it’s just so frustrating being locked up like this.”

Ronodin smiled, “Believe me, I know more than you can guess at what that’s like. Think you’re ready to hear why my family hates me?”

Kendra nodded, sitting up straighter.

“Forever ago, I started to question why the Fairy Queen was the ultimate authority on what was good and what was bad in the world. There were five other thrones, and they all play important roles in keeping the world functioning, and they all had different ideas of what was good and right than the Fairy Queen. But mortal wizards sided with her, as did human adventurers, and every kind of mortal agreed: the Fairy kingdom is the brightest light, and we should all strive to their ideals.

“Never mind the naiads and great fairies who kill because mortality is funny. Never mind the imps and the abandoned nipsies. Never mind the philosophies of balance that demand that destruction is just as important as creation to the continuation of the world. Never mind the strength of not picking a side and acting according to your own will and conscious. It sickened me to be part of such an oppressive kingdom that claims the moral right in everything.”

Ronodin drifted into a memory. “What did you do?” Kendra asked, bringing him back.

“I corrupted my horns,” Ronodin said simply, “It took a bit of time and a lot of favors, but I was able to break myself from the Fairy Kingdom. The Queen doesn’t command me anymore. I owe allegiance only to myself, and that’s how I want it to be. Some of those favors contributed to people getting hurt, but I can’t regret it. When I saw you going through something similar, I knew I had to talk to you. And now, here we are.”

“Here we are,” Kendra echoed. Sitting in the depths of some underground labyrinth, fighting over prison keys and the greater good, Kendra with no memory of who she was, and Ronodin fighting the same battles he’s fought his entire life over freedom.

Kendra leaned over and touched Ronodin of her own volition. Nothing romantic, not really, just her head resting on his shoulder. A silent show of support.

She sat up after just a minute, because she liked sincere Ronodin much better than flirty or angry Ronodin. (Flabberghasted Ronodin still held top spot).

“Let’s get that video for you,” Kendra said, then paused. “Wait, no one is going to get hurt when faking my death, right?”

Ronodin shook his head and took out his cell phone, “I promise, no humans are going to be harmed in the faking of your death. I just need some help creating a believable fake body.”

Kendra gave a little smile, “Doesn’t it ruin my fake death if someone knows about it and is helping you set it up?”

“Be very vague,” he advised, “The vaguer the better, so that when we do fake your death, even they will be convinced.”

“Okay then, what should I say?” she asked. “Am I talking to someone specific?”

Ronodin pointed the phone camera at her, “No, I’ll probably need to use it on a couple of people. Just tell the viewer to help me. Don’t mention my name directly, if you can help it. The less they know about who you’re with, the safer you’ll be. Ready…three, two one.”

"Oh, um, hi,” Kendra waved at the camera sheepishly, “I’m not sure who is going to have see this, but this guy is actually helping me. If you could lend him a hand, that would be great and I could get out of here much faster. Thank you!”

Ronodin then changed the view of the camera so that they were both in the picture, and gave a little wave. “Anything for Kendra.” He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and caught the start of her blush before he stopped recording.

“There, that should be convincing enough,” he said, pocketing his phone.

“I assure you, that kiss was unnecessary,” she said, folding her arms, still red.

He grinned back, “And I assure you, my caterpillar, that it was completely necessary. Another one for the road?”

Kendra stood up rather than let him take another kiss. They had had a good moment, she wasn’t going to let him ruin it. He stood up as well.

“I’ll probably arrive back while you’re asleep,” he said. “Can I see how you’re doing with that amulet? You chose another weakening one?”

“I’m not ready to permanently blind my misguided family,” Kendra said, handing over the amulet.

Ronodin nodded, “Well, you’re progressing. A lot more magic took in this one than your first try. It’s well on the way to making fatigue hit anyone who lays a hand on you.”

Kendra frowned, “I was going for proximity, still not enough focus?”

Ronodin nodded, “The applied magic isn’t strong enough, nor is the craftsmanship. You accidentally cut all the way through one broken link, making one of your four chains whole, and you really oversanded the top. Don’t worry, we’ll work on it some more when I get back. This is a skill like any other, it’s going to take time. You’ll get better at this, I promise.”

Kendra nodded, sighing over the flaws he pointed out. “Is ‘have fun’ the wrong response for the task of faking my death?”

“Oh,” he said grinning, “After the stunts you pulled, I’ll be having lots of fun. Don’t go crazy.”

“You’ll be the first to know if I do.”

Mendigo stepped out of the shadow of the doorway as Ronodin approached, “It’s fine Mendigo. Ronodin can come and go as he pleases.” Kendra said.

Mendigo stepped back and Ronodin stepped past and closed the door without a backward glance.

Knowing she lost the fight, Kendra returned to the craft room. She took that feeling, and turned it into the desire to weaken those that would make her lose with every paint brush stroke.

The second medallion was certainly more than just wood and paint when Kendra was done with it. It felt…expectant. Waiting to fulfill its purpose. A spiked trap, waiting to fall. It was kind of exhilarating, knowing what she had created had force and abilities beyond her.

Kendra had wielded magic.

Kendra looked back over the amulet that Ronodin has suggested she make, then ran to one of the books she had referenced that morning about how to build in a command. A dual check, the person had to want to harm her, and she had to want to curse them. She could make that curse.

All it needed was a second circular border with a notch, and Kendra would have to hold it and intend to activate it before it would blind someone. The pattern was more complex than what she had attempted before, but after all her reading, she felt ready. She switched to a block of wood called stiltseia, because the description indicated that it’s flowers alternatively flashed darkness or bright light each time the flowers bloomed. It felt right for this project.

Kendra worked though lunch, snacking on the bread and cheese that populated their kitchen. This time she made sure that if her carving tool was touching wood, she had her magic gathered and turned towards blinding enemies. The emotions feeding this purpose were vengeance, ambition, and desire to lash out. She didn’t have strong vengeance on her own, but Lady Kuychia wrote the book on vengeance, and Kendra had read it. Towards the end of Lady Kuychia’s life, when her husband found out about her shadow charmer abilities, he accused her of being pure evil, stole their children, and put a ‘kill the witch’ order throughout the entire countryside surrounding them. Vicariously, Lady Kuychia’s burning vengeance took shape in the amulet, to permanently blind those that would harm her.

Lady Kuychia had never gotten vengeance herself, if the handwritten note in the back indicating that the conquistadors pillaging the area around her village had hung her, after she kept putting out the fires meant to burn her. They caught her when she had sacrificed herself in a distraction to give her children a chance to run away from the Portuguese raid. Her husband had spat at her on his way out with their children. The children were captured and killed the day after their mother had died by hanging. Those emotions fueled the carving.

Except the outer notched circle. Following instructions, she focused on her need for control. The battle to control her negative emotions took place outside her body for the first time, as she ordered the power of the amulet into the circle, and into where she said they should stay. There were two different types of magic under her hands, the negative emotions of the amulet and the unyielding neutral control being pushed through her tool. Building a wall around the fire pit.

Kendra added a coat of paint right away, it didn’t feel bound tightly enough without it. This time she selected a dark purple paint, phantom tears and harpy blood. She was going by instinct, but tears also came from the eyes, and harpies seemed like the kind of creature more than happy to take out your eye for taking their blood.

It came out a color so deep, it was almost black, but the purple seemed to highlight around the cuts of her design. She hung it on a hook over the fire, next to the one she had made that morning. Three amulets down. No way to safely test them.

Crafting two amulets was exhausting enough that she wanted to take a nap. First, she had to clean up the mess she had made in the library.

Unfortunately, she had to guess at the places she had taken the books from. She had a vague idea of the organization: magic books left of the fire, histories and biographies on the right, and close to the door were the reference books, but without being able to read all the languages, she was mostly guessing.

Kendra scooted a space a little wider to make room for where she thought a book was supposed to go, and a yellowed piece of paper fell from between the spines. Kendra put the book away and picked up the paper.

To the current occupant,

You’re probably like me, someone whose abilities can only be used voluntarily, so they are keeping you locked up here until they can convince you to do what they want. I have no hope for rescue, and I refuse to do what they ask. I expect to die here, but I have hidden notes written in Silvian, and hidden them around the library to pass the time. If there is nothing else to my life, maybe these notes will make the duration easier for the next occupant.

So far I have discovered a single secret tunnel going out of here. Twist the head of the goblin statue and the wall will become permeable. I won’t survive outside this room, but maybe a prisoner better suited for this environment could use it to their advantage.  

Peace,

Maykrill of Anksonling

 Not what she expected to find, but she was wide awake now. It took a little bit of digging, but the goblin statue was directly diagonal behind her favorite reading chair. What kind of prison cell has a tunnel in it?

The tunnel probably didn’t lead outside, there was no way she was that lucky, but ‘anywhere else’ still ranked pretty high on the places she wanted to be.

The statue was a little taller than her palm, and currently being used as a bookend. The goblin made an icky sound when she twisted the head, like she was killing a living thing, and the small stretch of wall between bookcases became hazy. More gas than solid, and while she had to turn sideways to fit, she made it through just fine.

Unfortunately, she could barely see in front of her face. With how good she’s gotten at hiding her light, there was practically nothing. Should she un-dim herself? It would let things know where she was when she probably didn’t want them to, but she was probably already glowing a little anyway.

Kendra reached out and touched a wall, which immediately lit torches filled with the same blue fire that haunted her own apartment. Hiding wasn’t an option. Should she go back? But what was she waiting for?  Ronodin wouldn’t be back for a couple of hours yet, it was mid-afternoon. She might not get a better chance to figure out more about where she was.

If someone asked her what she was doing, she would just head back. And she’d stay out of the dragon invested grotto. A quick check showed that the wall was completely permeable from this side, meaning she wasn’t going to be locked out. Unless the twisted head operated on a timer. But she wouldn’t be able to test that theory without it being too late to do anything about it. Her best bet would be to make the most of this current foray, but if she didn’t leave for long periods of time and she didn’t get locked out, she might be able to keep this secret until they were cleared to leave this place. She grabbed her second amulet on her way towards the tunnel.

So much for Ronodin winning their battle of wills. Ha.

Kendra crept along the corridor, her bare feet quiet along the ground. It sloped downward, and she thought there was a very subtle switchback before it opened another fuzzy wall. Fuzzy on her side, hopefully solid on the opposite side. Stepping closer, she tried to get a good view of the room before she set foot.

The room seemed large, enormous even. It was dimly lit with sporadic torches, the stone darker than in her hallway. A neutral jean blue darkened into marbled navy, made to look even colder by blue flame. Kendra glanced down at her bare feet, and really hoped the ruby necklace actually warmed her up and didn’t just shut off her perception of cold.

There were large structures scattered about the room, and Kendra narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out the nearest one through the wall.

“I know your mother taught you better manners than to skulk when you know people can sense you, Ronodin. Please do leave me be, I’m not telling you anything else, and this constant taunting is rather irritating, even for you.”

Her eyes adjusted as the boy spoke. Because he was a boy, and based on his voice, couldn’t be much older than her, probably Ronodin’s age. She could catch the outline of bars, bent in around a circle, like a bird cage. Almost appropriate, given that this boy’s voice was the most melodic she had ever heard. Beautiful as Ronodin’s, but in a different way. Clearer, somehow.

“Fine, I will simply annoy you in return. I don’t think High Sylvian has ever graced these halls, join in if you remember the words:

 Follow the wind,

The one that blows of honey and rose

A caress, a brush, steady and slow

Follow the wind to Asamelle

  Trail the stream,

Of cerulean and lily pads green

It bubbles laughter and splashes song

Trail the stream to Asamelle

  Chase the light,

It hovers and flickers at the edge of sight

Whiter than ever beheld, brighter than ever-ever lived,”

The boy’s voice cracked here, and the imperfection in the perfect song made her throat grow tight. When he started singing again, it was just a little more raw, and Kendra had to cover her mouth.

“Chase the light to Asamelle

Chase the light home.

  You followed the wind, and trailed the stream,

chased the light, found the dream,

Home, to Asamelle.

  Moonlight blossoms, viridian forest,

Wave to the naiad, dance to the Djini lyre

Unicorns race and run through the mire

You have come home to Asamelle

  Beneath the tiger sky, follow softly,

Pass tree-grown houses, and beds of petals new

The final rise gives way to Heartsworn

The crowning jewel of Asamelle

  There’s so much light, it’s too bright,

Push forward; the sun was brought to house,

The virtuous beings of Asamelle

  An orchestra of birds, winds, and strings

Elf and Phoenix dance with the grace of falling leaves,

Step forward, part of the dance, the moment, the chance

Asamelle sings you home.”

 A tear slid down her cheek. An honest tear, her payment for the song. It was so full of love and longing; it would have been a sin to not be affected.

“Hang on, Ronodin would never have listened to me sing that,” the boy said, “Who are you?”

Kendra fled back to the library. She banged her hip on her way through the secret passage, and curled up in her armchair.

Her heart was thumping, pounding, her face hot. What was wrong with her? She just…all she needed was a moment to calm down and collect herself. That prisoner revealed a lot, she just needed some space and time from his voice to be able to process it.

The prisoner was so sad. How could anyone keep him jailed away like that? Was Asamelle his home? Why did he ever leave? It sounded beautiful, in a way that looks fragile but is more solid than anything else. A sculpture that appears to be made of glass, but is actually of ice or diamond.

And the part she didn’t want to think about: Ronodin is his jailor. He seemed to know Ronodin quite well, well enough think he could tick Ronodin off. And considering Ronodin’s relationship with his home, that song probably would. The boy thought she was Ronodin, there to question him some more. What could Ronodin want with him? How many more of her schemes would Ronodin tolerate until Kendra was in a cage next to the boy?

If she was trapped down there, would he sing for her if she asked?

No. The goal was to get out to the sunlight, not end up another bird in a cage, one much more unpleasant than her current residence. Why was he in a cage? Ronodin was all about freedom, and making sure people had the space to make their choices. He seemed to hate that Kendra was in a cage, Ronodin wouldn’t imprison someone else without reason.

Things weren’t adding up. Should she wait to confront Ronodin about it? Should she go talk to the trapped boy? Kendra thought she could make another trip before Ronodin came back tonight. Who would be more likely to lie? The boy or Ronodin?

Kendra needed facts. Evidence. Mendigo was under her full control. She had a brother named Seth. She chose to give up her memory. Ronodin loved her. She was fairykind and could use magic to make enchanted objects and see in the dark. Everything else she knew came from Ronodin’s story.

Kendra wanted to talk to the boy. And when Ronodin came back, she didn’t know when he’d leave again. This could be her only chance.

The goblin’s head was back to normal, and she broke the neck again. Kendra also took her second amulet, to weaken those who would harm her, not the blinding one. If the boy had the intention of harming her while she was down there, her curse would strike. Possibly. Not that he could do much from inside a birdcage.

The hallway had darkened, but lit once again as she touched the wall. Surer than the first time, Kendra hurried down the secret tunnel to the half-there wall. Once again, Kendra stopped.

“I know you’re there,” the boy called, much softer this time.

Gathering her courage, Kendra passed through the wall, halfway. She spotted an identical goblin statue, this time part of the brace holding up a torch, and went through all the way.

She walked forward, and a light sprung from inside the cage, small and dim, it illuminated the boy.

He was handsome. Unbelievably handsome. Kendra couldn’t remember seeing the cover of a magazine, and only knew that they depicted pretty people. She felt like she wouldn’t ever need to see a magazine; the boy in front of her screamed that kind of impossible perfection. White hair, blue eyes, unblemished pale skin, cupid’s bow lips that had fallen open at the sight of her.

Too late she remembered that she was currently wearing the stretchy red dress, a ruby medallion, a white cursed amulet (luckily that eyesore was tucked under her neckline), and her hideous orange cardigan. Her hair had been brushed and tied back before she started crafting, and she certainly wasn’t wearing the makeup in her bathroom. She felt a thousand times grungier than she had before.

The boy’s face changed, hardening, and he turned to speak to the general space around them, “Nice try Ronodin. I’m not going to lie and say I expected you to send a fake Kendra,” she jumped when he said her name, “but she really needs some work. This one barely glows, much less radiates like the sun. I’m honestly more surprised you let through such a bad copy.”

“Oh, um, Ronodin didn’t send me, I’m kind of here without him knowing, so I’d appreciate it if we could keep this a secret,” Kendra said nervously, tugging at her cardigan, hoping to turn it into something less ridiculous. “And I can shine brighter, but it seems to bother people, so I dim it.”

The boy raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “Kendra could never be dim.”

She unclenched the mental fist halfway, removing part of the block on her light, and immediately things became easier to see. One of the nearby cages started grumbling, so she dimmed it again.

He stared at her, and Kendra blushed and shifted under his gaze.

“Um…, I came to ask you some things,” Kendra tried, eyes drawn to the floor. This was not how she expected this to go. “But mostly, I really liked your song. Is Asamelle your home?” That was not what Kendra meant to ask him about, and blushed. Hopefully he couldn’t see in the dim light the way she could.

“Asamelle was the capital city of the old Fairy Realm,” he said, with disbelief. “Kendra, look at me.”

It clicked in her head, “Oh, you know me, don’t you?” she said, doing as he asked and looking at him. “I’m sorry, but I’m having some trouble remembering you at the moment.”

“And I’m still having trouble believing you’re the real Kendra,” he said. “Not knowing who I am isn’t doing you any favors.”

Kendra shrugged, “Don’t take it personally, I don’t know who anyone is. My oldest memory is turning a key that made me lose my memory. My brother Seth was there, and Ronodin, also an angry guy that claimed to be the King of the Dragons, and a magical dwarf. We were all fighting over a stone and my brother kind of won, I think, then I faked my own kidnapping and brought myself here. I really am sorry I don’t remember you.”

He was shaking his head slowly.  

“There are so many things wrong with what you just said, but I’m still having some trouble believing you’re Kendra and not some Ronodin knock off sent here to torture me,” he said, “Do you mind letting me confirm your story?”

“How?” she asked cautiously.

He held out a hand through the bars, “It’s not bad, just touch my hand, and give me permission to see if you are telling the truth. I can’t see anything you don’t want me to, and you won’t feel a thing.”

Kendra pulled back a little. “I don’t know your name, and I don’t know who or what you are. I’m sorry, I really don’t feel comfortable doing that.” Could all unicorns do what he said? She might be in a lot more trouble with Ronodin than she thought.

“I’m Bracken,” he said, retracting his hand and backing away, “We’ve done this before, if you really are Kendra. I’m a unicorn, and the Fairy Queen herself vouched for me.” His eyes softened, looking over her again, “I’m sorry, whatever is going on, I don’t mean to frighten you. I won’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with, though it will make trusting you a little more difficult. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Oh, he was kind. Why would Ronodin imprison someone like him? Being a unicorn the same age as Ronodin explained the comments about Ronodin’s mother and the polite dislike. The name Bracken also sounded familiar…

“Oh no,” Kendra said, covering her mouth. It all came together. Bracken was Ronodin’s cousin, the one she was engaged to while secretly seeing Ronodin.

Bracken’s eyebrows raised, “I will admit that’s the first time my name has evoked that reaction. You remember something about me around your mysterious bout of amnesias?”

Kendra wanted to run away again. No wonder Ronodin knew it wasn’t safe for her to leave yet; people from her old life were already tracking her here. Why hadn’t Ronodin told her? Of course, he didn’t tell her, she spent so much time fighting him. Was Ronodin worried she would leave, or demand to leave until she hated him? This was all wrong and not fair, and Kendra didn’t know what to do.

“I’m so sorry for what old me did to you,” Kendra said. “I don’t know why I led you on, I’m sorry.” Kendra put her hand over his, which was suddenly gripping the bars of his cage. “I give you permission to see the truth of my words.”

Bracken closed his eyes, and his forehead creased, “It’s…blank. I can sense your memories for a time, then its just gone. You gave them up, but it is your mind,” he said with disbelief. “You are really Kendra.”

Bracken frowned, “There’s something awful here, dark, but nowhere near strong enough to block your memories. Do you remember any other curses? Or maybe you have a cursed item?”

“Oh, um, I made it today, to protect myself from people who would do me harm? It’s a little new, but it might be what you’re talking about,” Kendra said, pulling out the medallion.

“You did what? Kendra, you don’t make curses. That’s dark magic,” Bracken said, clutching the bars of his cell, “Listen to me closely, whatever you do, stay away from crafting curses. How can you even do that?” Which verified Ronodin’s words. Her crafting had been a secret, he did think she was evil, as was her art. There was just one more thing to check.

“Are you familiar with Mendigo?” Kendra asked.

“Your puppet? Kendra, I feel like you’re not listening to me. Whatever Ronodin said —”

“Does Mendigo only do what I say or not?”

“Well, yes, Mendigo, as I understand it, is keyed into the commands of you and your brother, and whoever you tell him to listen to.” Bracken said. “I don’t see why that’s important. Look, Ronodin is evil, you can’t trust anything he says —”

“What about my family?” Kendra asked, “Do they really imprison dark creatures against their will?”

Bracken’s eyebrows rose, “What? In a manner of speaking they do, because nothing else would have the chance to grow and flourish if we let them out. Demons, the unbound undead, dragons, they would destroy everyone and everything if given a single chance. You helped put so many of them away. They’ve killed your friends and family. It isn’t an unjust prison sentence if that’s what Ronodin told you. They all chose darkness and destruction, or it’s their nature and life sentences over huge tracks of land to roam seem more humane than killing everyone in an effort not to die ourselves. You and your family are the best people I know. Good people. Ronodin is twisting the truth for his own ends if he says differently. You are a good person Kendra, you don’t craft curses. You don’t chose evil, you can’t. It isn’t who you are. Don’t listen to Ronodin’s lies.”

“Ronodin said the exact same thing,” Kendra said sadly, and Bracken went quiet, “Except, he knows something you don’t, something we couldn’t share with either of our families because yours hates him and mine wouldn’t understand. I’ve been enchanting magic objects for a while now. I met up with Ronodin in secret, and fell in love with him. I ordered Mendigo to kidnap me from my home so that we could be together.”

“Wha-no, no, no. That doesn’t make sense,” Bracken said, hurt crashing through those beautiful blue eyes as he drew back. “That can’t be true…I…you let me into your mind a week ago. Please believe me. You met Ronodin for the first time this past week.”

“He’s a little rough,” she defended quietly, looking away, “We’re learning our way around each other again over my memory loss. He hates that we have to stay cooped up, but he knows who I was better than anyone else.”

“That’s a lie,” Bracken insisted, “He doesn’t know anything about you. He doesn’t know that falling rain makes you think of your friend Lena. He doesn’t know that your favorite way to travel through the air is being held by the Dragon Raxtus. He doesn’t know that your cousin Warren would die for you, after seeing you die once already and being unable to stop it. Ronodin knows you less than you know yourself right now. I get that you-you might not be able to believe me right now, but find Seth, find your grandparents, they’ll be scouring the earth for you. They love you so much, and you love them more than anything in return.”

Bracken’s voice was low and sincere. His voice had cracked again, like it had during his song, his tell that the emotion was just too much. So utterly certain he was right. But Kendra didn’t know a Lena or a Raxtus or a Warren. And she couldn’t ask Ronodin about them, because then he would know she went wandering.

Why couldn’t the old Kendra have fallen in love with Bracken instead?

“Why did Ronodin imprison you?” she asked. “Was it…was it because of me? He and Seth mentioned that we were…intended.”

“Oh, um…I mean…That’s not...we’re, um,” Bracken said, flustered. He wasn’t blushing, but unicorn blood was silver, could he blush? Did he sparkle more in the light when blushing? Pooling silver instead of red? “I would have come for you, I swear, but uh, Ronodin got to me first. I’ve been here a week-ish. Hard to tell the days, the guards aren’t regular on feeding us. I’m not sure what he wants to do with me. He was helping overthrow preserves and trying to set dragons on the world to massacre humans, so I was sent to stop him, but he got the jump on me.”

Ronodin would try to negotiate better circumstances for the dragons, and starting them from a place of freedom is something he would do. Keeping Bracken for no reason? That didn’t sound like something he would do. Bracken being sent off to stop his cousin? Bracken looked fit, but she would probably bet on Ronodin in a fight.

What was the truth in all of this? Where was it? Except she knew where it was, locked away with her memories. This was the first time she felt like she needed her memories. Kendra had missed them before, but if what Bracken said was true, then Ronodin was brainwashing her. If what Ronodin said was true, she had purposefully led Bracken to believe the way he did, and she had escaped from the consequences of the harm she caused someone who seemed so honest and sincere. Why couldn’t she just know. Like a normal person.

“Would I give up my memory so my brother wouldn’t have to?” Kendra asked.

His eyes were soft, awkwardness leaving, “In a heartbeat. Seth has suffered much, often by his own folly, much because he was a child in a world too dangerous for someone with his curiosity and kindness. He has trouble knowing who to trust. You supported him, gave him strength, pulled him out of his misery, helped clean up his mistakes, but you wished you could bear some of the burden for him. If given the chance to spare him pain, to keep him from messing up without his memory and creating new guilt, Kendra Sorenson wouldn’t hesitate to give up her memories.”

His hand raised, and she noticed a piece of hair falling in her face, he hesitated just short of her, and then pulled his hand back to the bars.

“Sorenson,” she said, fixing the loose hair on her own, because she’d start crying if she didn’t speak, “Is that my name?”

Bracken nodded, smiling, “Kendra Marie Sorenson. Your first name came from a book your father loved, your middle name is the same as your maternal Grandmother’s middle name.”

“I want to believe you,” Kendra admitted. “But from the things I know for certain, you’re probably a victim of my own lies.”

“You are goodness,” Bracken said simply, “Goodness and light. Ask yourself if what you’re doing feels right, feels good. If it makes you a better person who helps people and creates good things. Don’t listen to Ronodin, don’t craft curses. If you find a moment to escape, take it. Take it and don’t look back. Head to upstate Connecticut, ask for the Sorensons. You’ll find people who can help you.” Bracken tensed, “My jailor is coming, hurry away, don’t stop.”

Kendra rushed to the goblin statue, twisted the head, and hurried back up the hall.

Back in her little apartment, she took off the amulet and held it up. It had felt good crafting it. Honest. Part of who she was before that she had reclaimed. What was true and what was false?

[fandomoverdrive]

Okay I just need to go on a rant about Whirl because I love him he might just be the most tragic character in the entirety of MTMTE and considering the candidates that’s a pretty hard position to cinch. Some of this is gonna have mentions re: self harm, suicidal tendencies/ideation, overall bad coping mechanisms etc so if that’s not your cuppa please scroll on. 

This gets long so here’s the obligatory read more. 

Let’s write “tragic” in flickering neon letters with the fact that Whirl’s first appearance in MTMTE, dropping the titular “how to say goodbye and mean it,” is a personal soliloquy delivered as he’s in the midst of constructing his own funeral pyre. Whirl is lost, directionless, trapped and unwilling to be such in a postwar environment. But how did we get here? 

Whirl is without a doubt a driven character. In the prewar functionist society, he had no qualms switching careers, risks be damned. Whether he’s always had a knack for disobeying authority or was simply driven by passion or both isn’t elaborated on, but he’s got a hell of a hardheaded streak that’s impossible to ignore. When destroying his business wasn’t enough to deter him from further rebellion, the Senate was happy to turn him into an empuratee and destroy not only the opportunity but the capability of continuing to rebel by pursuing his passion. This is what I’d personally consider the big ‘whump’ moment, less so the use and abuse as a pawn that followed but the point of trauma at which we begin to see Whirl’s psyche begin to twist.

From this point forward we see Whirl in and out of prison, let loose when he can be useful to someone else’s ploy and otherwise incarcerated for a buffet of offenses. No longer able to be constructive and having little if any control of his life, Whirl becomes aggressively destructive. In response to having everything he aspired toward ripped away from him, permanently, he builds a mental defense of bitterness and anger and paves over his black hole of self worth with a veneer of outright assholery. It’s here that he bares his metaphorical fangs and pushes - with gusto - anyone who might even suggest they’re trying to appeal to reason or get close to him as an individual. 

It’s hard to imagine, given even subtly different circumstances, that Whirl would not side with the decepticons for the war. While he’s single-handedly responsible for radicalizing Megatron towards violence, the ‘con intent at the start of revolution - that movement in society should be possible and a caste system based on alt mode is unethical - aligns quite nicely with what he’d already aspired to do with his life. His conscription to the side of the autobots is just another instance in which his autonomy is cast aside. 

Whirl is a tool. Whirl had a passion for watchmaking, but now he can’t, so his new passion is violence. Whirl is a gun and someone else has always told him where to point and all he’s ever been given for his cooperation is the blame of pulling the trigger. Whirl is an asshole, Whirl is unpredictable, Whirl isn’t a mech anybody would ever think twice about saving - the answer would always be no. Whirl wants to die. Whirl only wants to die on his own terms and he’ll be damned if he’s going to keel over under the orders of someone he doesn’t respect, for a cause he doesn’t believe in. 

A few years of this sort of treatment would be enough to drive anyone insane, let alone the millennia of warfare he suffered through. Worse yet is the one time he found a group, a team that was known for the unorthodox and taking on the big messy challenges, the Wreckers kicked him out. Whirl was too much for the mechs that were too much and there’s no way in hell that doesn’t still sting. 

That’s how we get here:

Whirl defends himself through isolation from others. He can’t be hurt by others if he never lets them close enough to be hurt by. In a hypersocial society, he has no close long-term friends, he is one of the few with no roommate aboard the Lost Light. He made himself as unpalatable as possible. He’s crass, he’s volatile, he makes it clear with every word and action that Whirl is first, you don’t mean anything, I’d leave you for dead in an instant..... But that’s not true, is it? 

Whirl is shown being completely, dramatically, self-destructively caring throughout the series. Between risking his life for the scraplet colony disguised as a protoform, participating in an untested spark jumpstart to save a life, coming up with a plan to rejuvenate Tailgate’s spark, and performing a spark transplant surgery on Megatron - without whom the world would never have been even a fraction as cruel to Whirl as it had been - Whirl is far from the most selfish character in the series. It’s in his nature, however, to deny such, to the point where he more than likely believes his own narrative that he’s irredeemable, self-absorbed, invincible, degenerate, and neither capable nor deserving of close interpersonal relationships. 

It’s also how we get here:

Whirl is one of the characters that we more frequently see in a state of disrepair. He fights passionately and recklessly, with no regard whatsoever to whether or not he makes it out of a scrum with all his limbs intact. Injuries like these, and those that he experiences elsewhere in the series, would put other mechs out of commission through pain alone, but as long as Whirl is conscious he doesn’t stop until the fight is over. 

As depressing as it is to think that Whirl is simply at this point accustomed to extraordinary pain, it’s even moreso to think about the more likely concept that he wants to be hurt. Whirl doesn’t have control of a lot that happens to him, but do you know what he does have control of? Who he chooses to shit-talk. More often than not we see Whirl being blatantly disrespectful of his superiors, and some of the more dangerous mechs aboard the LL. While obviously his intent when insulting Ultra Magnus isn’t to start a fight, harping on Drift (and subsequently getting cold clocked) or Cyclonus is a little more self-destructive in nature. 

While Whirl has been in therapy, we see during the encounter with Fort Max that he’d shared very little of what he actually considered traumatic with Rung. With no material to work with, Rung wouldn’t have been able to give Whirl instructions or advice as far as a healthy coping mechanism, and so I’m firmly of the belief that Whirl goes out of his way to get himself hurt as a way to have a vague sense of control. 

On his actions and guilt:

Whirl is immensely guilty. When he’s overcharged, he admits that everything feels like his fault - and unfortunately a lot is. Whirl believes he’s the bad guy, and he’s willing to take the fall for actions that others might find immoral. There’s a lot Whirl has done that he’ll likely never forgive himself for, even if he garnered the ability to start forgiving himself for the small things, but the character he’s created for himself has been part of him for so long that it’s near impossible to tell where to draw the line between caricature and his genuine self. 

At this point in time, Whirl is not capable of improving himself without external assistance. 

He has accepted (however wrongfully) that he is not cared about, trusted, wanted, or respected. 

His assumptions become self-fulfilling prophecy as he - consciously or not - works to perpetuate his image. Whirl is a dick, he’s unfazed by anything anyone says about him, if someone is insulting him they’re probably right, why bother arguing unless it’s with the intent to get in a fight? He doesn’t pay attention to others, he doesn’t pay attention to himself, nothing that anybody could say could possibly make a difference. 

Right? Right?

Wrong. Part of what makes Whirl so heart-wrenchingly tragic is that it is so incredibly clear that nobody has ever told him he mattered. Rodimus throws out what could be interpreted as a snide remark, “even the crazy bastard makes a difference,” and that aside sticks with him. Millions of years of warfare, of being a tool to use, an expendable soldier, a rabid dog to throw at their enemies, and not once did someone turn around and say he was anything good. He’s been thanked for saving lives, for contributions, for individual acts, but his reaction to Rodimus really cements in my mind that nobody has ever said that he, that Whirl, was important. 

Whirl is a broken character. He’s subsumed by his own self-hatred that he perpetuates and justifies with a mask of cruel indifference and aggressively abrasive snark. He’s alone, by what he thinks is his own choice but is really a horribly misguided attempt to keep himself safe. He’s got no potential for growth unless someone wants to force their way through his defenses in order to help him find the line between who he is and who he pretends to be in order to keep from being hurt. Whirl is terrified of abandonment, and guarantees that nobody will ever be able to leave him by never letting them come close to begin with. He’s not a good person, he’s violent and callous and has little regard for the consequences of his actions, but he is that way because of the life he was forced to lead. He falls into consistent patterns because he craves control, even if those patterns are self destructive. It’s proof of the little growth he was allowed during the course of MTMTE/LL that after their quest was over, he didn’t attempt suicide again but instead got into the revolving door of incarceration for petty offenses. 

All in all, Whirl is one of the saddest characters in any media I’ve consumed and please someone get this despicable bastard helicopter a new therapist and a stiff drink 

[hostess-of-horror]

Danse Macabre

Finally! After so many days of writing, I have finally finished my biggest fanfic yet! It's another Phantom x Peach fanfic and it is a bit of a sequel to my previous one "Encore at Midnight". I had this really cool story concept for a little while and I felt like I just could not do anything else unless I write it down. It was a bit of an experiment since I had to do a little bit of research just to pull some things off (however, it is far from perfect, so please forgive me). Also, I have officially made some OCs for this fanfic, yay! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy what I have created!

Number of Pages: 17

Word Count: 9358

[Content includes: Themes of Death/Mortality and Some Suggestiveness (not smut though!), OC “Death”, Graphic Body Horror, and Slight Profanity]

For @salamifuposey, @kindpopstar, @jawaii-chan, and everyone else who wants to read this fanfic!

____________________________________________________________

My Dearest Princess,

Forgive my absence these past few days. I have been preparing the final touches in my newest masterpiece, and I have been dying to show you what I have created. It is something I have not done before; consider it an experiment of sorts. My excitement cannot be contained any longer! Tonight, I invite you to a performance unlike anything you have seen before. I have arranged a carriage to arrive at your castle at around midnight. It will take you to Spooky Trails, where I have made refuge, and you will be accompanied along the way. She will be your guide, and I assure you she will not lead you astray. I pray you receive this letter and that you accept the invitation.

Your Humble Host,

P

---

Princess Peach reads and rereads the letter. So many questions run through her mind. What does he mean by “experiment”? What kind of performance will this be? And who is this guide? She looks up from the letter, and across from her is an unfamiliar face. Sitting across from her is a woman looking out of the carriage window, admiring the night sky. Or, at least it seems like she is, for the bright reflection on her tea shades completely covered her eyes. Her guide is abnormally slender and taller than her, however she could not tell exactly how much. Her alabaster skin pops in contrast of her dark attire, which consists of a frilly ivory blouse and high-low trail skirt, a velvet violet corset, leather pants, and a long onyx black coat embellished with jewels. Her frizzy, unkept silver hair is pulled up into two buns with small strands of hair shimmering like a diamond. Peach had never seen anyone quite like her before; it’s like she came from another world entirely. The guide turns her attention from the view towards Peach and smiles. Peach averts her eyes and looks towards the window – it was rude to stare, especially at a stranger. “So, you must be the one my master has been interested in all this time? He has told me so much about you.”, the guide spoke. Peach brings her attention back towards the guide. “I am, miss.”, she responds, “And, he has?”

“Oh yes! He is simply infatuated with you! I dare say, obsessed, even. And now that I have a chance to see you up close, I can definitely see why.”

“Infatuated is a good word to describe him. He has shown his affection quite often since our first reunion.”

“Has he now?”

“Mm-hmm. He’s been nothing but a gentleman towards me, even if he does get pretty… excitable from time to time.”

“Consider yourself lucky, your highness. Having an enthusiastic partner makes the relationship a lot more interesting!”

“Well, yes, I agree��� I- um…”

“Is there something wrong?”

“Phantom and I have only met a little while now; almost a month I believe. I’m not sure if I want to start referring to him as my partner.”

“Just yet, you mean?”

“Oh, please don’t get me wrong, I do like him! I just like to… take things a little slow.”

“Ah, I see. I completely understand. You want to get to know him a little bit more before you make any decisions. A rather smart move on your part.”

“Exactly.”

“Don’t tell anyone this, but my master isn’t one to do such a thing. That is not to say he’s completely reckless, but whenever there’s something – or someone – he’s interested in, he becomes determined. Stubborn even. And personally, it is not his best quality sometimes. It makes him look like a moron. A blind one at that.”

“I guess you can say he becomes inspired. Phantom is an artist, after all. Art is meant to invoke emotion, no matter the medium. It would make sense that he himself is the same way.”

“Insightful! And right you are.”

“Not to mention, Phantom is an opera singer. Opera, of course, is highly emotional and very dramatic, and so is he.”

“That too. I know this might be a personal question, but your first reunion with my master…”

“Yes?”

“What happened that night? I ask because I remember seeing him wallowing in shame after his trip over to the Mushroom Kingdom. When he returned, he threw himself onto his fainting couch, murmuring curses, almost about to cry.”

“Oh my! Well, Phantom was in the ballroom inside my castle that night. He was singing this beautiful melody. When I found him, we talked for a bit and discovered we both have something in common.”

“And what would that be?”

“Companionship.”

“Ah…”

“As we talked, he told me about his life after that battle at Spooky Trails a few years ago. He was so lonely, unable to find friends to call his own. Soon he became… anxious. I cannot describe exactly what came over him, but it was obvious he was in pain. Then, his eyes turned red, and suddenly darkness. I fainted.”

The guide stares at Peach, her mouth slightly agape. Although her tea shades cover her eyes, her expression is readable. It is a look of shock – that look of knowing exactly what had just happened with Phantom on that very night. She sighs, “I see. That is not the first time he has done that. My master can be terrifying when he has his moments.”

“Everything was just so overwhelming. I was scared, yes, but afterwards I was more concerned of his well-being. I cannot bear to see someone in pain; being alone can take a toll on anyone… Oh, that poor thing! He must’ve thought that he harmed me when I fainted!” Peach exclaimed. Silence takes over the conversation. Peach’s eyes wander towards the carriage floor while the guide’s attention never breaks. Her eyebrows furrowed, Peach fidgets with her gloves. The guide adjusts her position, leaning over towards the worried princess. She reaches out and holds her hand; Peach stops fidgeting. “I’m glad that you care about him, your highness. Very few do.” she gently smiles, “There have been many times I believed that the only people who care about him is me and the others.”

“The others?”, Peach asks.

“The rest of my master’s theatre troupe. Just like him, we are all one with music.”

“…may I ask what is your name?

“My name? Oh-! my name, how could I forget my manners? How rude of me! I am Dolores, your highness.”

“And if I may ask as well, if you don’t mind, where do you come from?”

Before Dolores has a chance to answer, a flash of shadows sped by the carriage. Dolores motions towards the window, her head peeking out, looking over the view. Her pearl white teeth shows as she grins from ear to ear. “We’re almost there! Ah, soon you will experience the greatest show yet, Princess Peach!”, she exclaims with glee. Peach takes a look at her window. Memories flooded her mind like a rushing river coursing through the barren earth. Spooky Trails.She remembers now; it was all coming back to her. This was all leading to the very location where her battle with Phantom took place. She, alongside Mario, Luigi, and a few Rabbids, witnessed Phantom’s creation and fought him as he flaunted about on the old, decrepit stage. To think, he was an almost entirely different person. Phantom wasn’t as gentlemanly as he is as of recently, but since their first reunion, he has been wanting things to change.

He wants her. Her heart. Her soul. Her beauty. Everything.

To think it has come to this. To think the princess, who has been known for being saved by her plumber in shining armor and being in love with him, would fall for such a character. But has she truly fallen for Phantom? Or is it all just nonsense? If it was just nonsense, then why would she accept the invitation? Peach takes in the environment as the carriage rolls across the cobblestone path, driving through the dead trees and the old, seemingly abandoned village. Despite having never returned after the battle, Peach regains her memories of Spooky Trails, almost to the point of knowing exactly where Phantom resides. Dolores returns to her position, her shining grin still on her face. Peach turns her attention back at Dolores and asks, “What was the inspiration behind this performance?”

“I would tell you, but it would ruin the surprise! My master has ordered all of us to never reveal his masterpiece until it is time.” Dolores answers.

“Oh…”

“All I can say is that this is no ordinary performance. My master is quite the visionary, you know!”

“Very well, then. I won’t ask any more questions, if it’s going to ruin the surprise.”

“Are you excited, your highness?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? It’s not often that I get invited to such events.”

“Really? But you’re royalty! I thought you would be invited to all sorts of performances.”

“I do, but it just doesn’t happen that often, and I honestly don’t know why. I adore the theater!”

“We all do too. Our lifestyle is nothing but the theater… quite literally!”

“Gosh, that must be so wonderful, to be part of a theatre troupe. To perform for all to see, to entertain others through amazing plays! I’ve always wished to join when I was a little girl.”

“Oh! Would you look at that! We’ve finally arrived!”

After what it seemed like more than an hour, the carriage, at long last, finally stops. Dolores gets up from her seat, slowly crawling her way out of the carriage. Her elongated body almost struggles through the small door, but she succeeds with grace. She then offers her hand to Peach with a softer smile, “Your midnight show awaits, Princess Peach…” Taking Dolores’ hand, Peach steps out of the carriage and immediately she is greeted by a massive silver gate. The very gate that stands guard the entrance to Phantom’s stage. It is beautifully sculpted, shaped into swirls and patterns holding up an illuminating full moon, with two music notes placed on each side as the borders. Yes, Peach remembers now. Dolores walks up to the gate and peers through it. She waves at something or something – Peach could not tell – and opens it, allowing themselves to enter. Peach follows behind. She didn’t know how tall Dolores was when they were in the carriage, but now she could get a good look at her stature. Dolores was tall – taller than any human she has ever seen before. If Peach could guess, her guide was three to four (maybe five!)feet taller than her and was practically towering over her. Ever since they met, she had this feeling of uneasiness. Who is this woman? What is this woman? Where did she come from? So many questions. There was something off about Dolores, and it wasn’t necessarily her abnormal physique. There was something, but Peach couldn’t put her finger on it. Whatever it was…. Perhaps she doesn’t need to worry too much about it.

Approaching the decrepit stage, the two ladies are met by a small man wielding a large, glowing lantern. This man is the opposite of Dolores in terms of height and physique. He is a short and stout dwarf, donning a regal yellow robe over his slightly mismatched clothes. The light emanating from the lantern reveals his nicely trimmed beard, his long, curly chocolate brown hair tied back into a ponytail, his fluorescent amber eyes giving them a warm welcome. His smile grew bigger once Dolores waves again; he waves back. “Dolores, there you are! And you brought our special guest! Wunderbar! It is a pleasure to meet you, eure hoheit.”, the dwarf greets them, bowing in courtesy. “Are the others ready, Stefan?”, Dolores asks.

“We’ve been ready for a while now. Just making sure everything is perfect for tonight.”

“And what about our master?”

“He will not show his face. In fact, he wants me to tell you that no one must see him until he has shown himself to us all.”

“Ah, well that makes things interesting.”

“I agree. Anyway, enough chit chat! Let us proceed! We must not keep our master’s little freundin waiting.”

“Por favor, Stefan! Don’t tease… that’s my job.”

Stefan chuckles as he ushers them to go into the stage. Dolores follows Stefan, and Peach follows Dolores. They all walk deeper through the torn platform and dusty curtains. Damaged props, broken wires, hanging ropes, and mangy fabrics scatter the place. The further deeper they went, the larger the backstage seems to be. Peach looks in awe as she continues to follow her guides. Who knew that this abandoned stage held such secrets? After a few minutes of walking, Stefan places his lantern on the floor, lighting up the entire floor, and begins to crawl on his hands and knees. His fingers trace the nooks and crannies of the floorboards, mumbling to himself. He searches until he finds a small hole and grabs it. The hole turns out to be a handle, and Stefan pulls and lifts up the floorboards. He reveals a decent sized door leading to a much darker pathway – a long stone stairway stretching far into a secret tunnel. Stefan’s lantern gave light to the darkness, making the trip down into the underground refuge much less intimidating. Dolores holds Peach’s hand as they go down the stairs. This was such an odd way of attending a performance. Peach could not imagine what kind of performance involves having to venture underground in order to see it. What could she possibly expect from all of this? Part of her mind began screaming for help, pleading to go back to the Mushroom Kingdom. Part of her mind wanted normalcy, no surprises. It wanted her to stop and return to her chamber, to her castle, to Mario and her friends. However, the other part was curious. It was that familiar curiosity – the same curiosity she had when first reunited with Phantom. She could never forget that night. Never in a lifetime. Everything about him, whether it be music or shadow, is just so…. Alluring.

Alluring… Beguiling… Captivating… Enchanting…

Her mind finally gives in. She goes for the latter. How could she not? She has ventured too deep into this tunnel to start leaving. For once, she is able to take a break from her royal duties. To forget her troubles. To finally experience something new. For once. As for curiosity, she was more concerned about Phantom. Why would he not allow anyone to see him? Of course, it must be for the performance, but what exactly does Phantom have in store? The more Peach thought about him, the more impatient she became. Phantom. Oh, where are you, Phantom? Her mind falls into that familiar trance. She wants to see him again. She wants to hear him again. Perhaps Peach has become just as obsessed as he is with her. This must be an addiction. It must be. If it wasn’t, then she would never be where she is right now. Whether it be curiosity, obsession, or madness, Peach will continue to walk into shadow if it meant she will meet her friend again. Stefan, Dolores, and Peach finally reach the end of the tunnel, finding a wooden door decorated with gold etchings, which looked out of place amongst the cobweb-shrouded stone walls. With a strong push, Stefan enters through, allowing the door to creak wide open. Behind the door is a humongous hallway, adorned from wall to wall with a vast multitude of paintings, flyers and posters of plays and musicals, candles, and curtains. To think a dusty tunnel would lead to a beautiful makeshift palace! It’s like discovering a treasure chest inside of a dank, murky swamp. Is this where Phantom was residing all these years? Peach gasps. Dolores turns around and smiles, “Welcome to our humble abode, your highness. In this place, music is our lifeforce. We eat, we drink, we breathe, we sleep in music. Just like our master, we are not only creators of art – we are art itself. And tonight, we shall once again breathe life into another masterpiece. I cannot describe how immensely happy we all are. We are so glad that you accepted our master’s invitation, you will not regret it! Now, come along with me, let us go into the Ladies’ Dressing Room. Natasha has designed a wonderful costume for you to wear, and Ophelia will help you with your hair and makeup. I assure you they will make you absolutely gorgeous. Of course, that is not to say you’re not already beautiful.”

Stefan leaves the two ladies and heads towards the Gentlemen’s Dressing Room, which is across from the Ladies’ Dressing Room to the left, placing the lantern onto an iron hook built into the wall. “Well, I’m going to get myself ready and meet up with the others. I’ll see you all at the Gallery! Bis bald!”, he says as he closes the door. Dolores enters through the door to the right and holds it open for Peach to walk into the room. There sitting inside are twin sisters, both garbed in fine, flowy silk and chiffon gowns, working on their latest projects. To the left is a somber young lady sitting near a vanity, dressed all in Aegean and periwinkle blue, her pale pink hair intertwined into exquisite dreadlocks that reaches down to her shoulders. Wrapped around her head is a flower crown composed of lavender, Baby’s Breath, Fairy Foxgloves, and Forget-Me-Nots. To the right is a cheery young lady wearing a similar gown but in shades of fuchsia and rose, checking over the details of an extravagant costume, which is porcelain and peach in color. Her pale blue hair is also made of dreadlocks, as well as composed with the same flowers with the addition of small vines, but is pinned up into a lovely cornrow braided bun. The twin in pink looks up from her work and gasps, “Dolores, you’re back! And the princess is here! Ophelia, look! They’re here!” Ophelia turns around, her saddened expression softening into a weak smile, “Oh, hello again. And it’s nice to finally meet you, your highness.”

Dolores greets them back, turning her attention back to Natasha’s project, “Is the costume ready?”

“Yes, it is! I was just making sure everything’s perfect!”

“It looks amazing! Buen Trabajo!”

“Aww, thank you!”

“Alright, now we must hurry. I need to be in costume. I’ll meet you all in the Gallery, and don’t dottle please.”

“Don’t worry, Dolores, we’ll be ready as soon as possible.”

Dolores leaves Peach with Natasha and Ophelia, entering through a darkened room to get ready for the performance. Once she leaves, Peach witnesses what is perhaps the most amazing thing she has ever seen. The speed in which Natasha and Ophelia got her ready for the performance was astounding. What should have lasted for about a few hours or so ended up lasted for a few mere minutes! No human possesses this level of speed, especially with makeup. Any makeup artist would take their time getting every detail right. There would be no possible way anyone could apply eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush, concealer, lipstick, and every other detail really fast without messing up. But Ophelia proved that such an ability was possible. Natasha was no different. She helped Peach get into the extravagant costume without any struggle at all, as it fit perfectly onto her frame. How did she get her size just right? And it’s so comfortable too! “And… done! Oh, look at you! You are just beautiful, your highness! Don’t you think so, Ophelia?”, Natasha exclaims happily, proud of her job well done. “Oh yes, I agree…”, Ophelia smiles weakly again. Peach looks over to a nearby mirror. They were right; she is beautiful. Perhaps even more so, she thinks to herself, for she had never worn anything like this before. It is true that, being of royal blood, she is accustomed to an extremely elaborate (and expensive) wardrobe. But this… this is different from any other dress. It is a ballroom gown, completely encrusted with diamonds and pearls, with lovely black roses making a long trail from her waist down to the skirt. The white skirt is massive, flowing down towards the floor like a mass of billowing fog. Her shoulders and bosom are exposed completely, giving room for a glistening choker made of the same jewels. Her hair is done up in a high bun, lightly sprinkled with silver glitter, and tied together with another black rose.

She looks heavenly. Like an angel.

With everything all set and done, Natasha and Dolores begin preparing themselves. As they do, Ophelia pauses for a moment. “Oh, your highness! I almost forgot something. Before we go, our master wanted me to give you this.”, Ophelia says, handing her a small card. It reads: For the Princess. Before heading back to primp herself, her expression slowly turns gloomy, barely keeping up with her smile, “You are so lucky to be chosen…” Peach turns over the card as she waits for the twins to get ready and continues to read:

Tonight’s performance is a one-of-a-kind experience. You, my dear, will not only be the audience, but also part of the story! Everything and everyone around you will be interactive, so please do not be shy. Converse with your newly found friends! Eat, drink, dance with your heart’s content! And please, do not wait for me. I hope you enjoy my masterpiece.

- P

Ah ha! So, this is what Phantom’s performance is! It is a role-playing experience, and based on what the card says, it must be a party he’s hosting. What delightful news! Although, Peach must admit that she has never role-played before, especially in something like this. But wait – didn’t she say to Dolores earlier that being part of the theatre was her childhood dream? Perhaps this is the perfect opportunity to try out her acting skills! Peach beams. She could not believe Phantom would make something like this. Whatever this role-playing party entails, she thinks to herself, she’s going to do the best she can. “We’re ready!” Natasha exclaims in a sing-song tone, “Are you ready, Ophelia?” Ophelia nods. Natasha excitedly takes both her and Peach’s hands, leading them out of the Ladies’ Dressing Room and into the Gallery. Peach almost could not keep up with the twins, for they have remarkable speed, as shown by their natural talents on makeup and costuming. How fast can could they possible go? If this is how fast they can walk, then how fast can they run? Natasha’s ecstatic giggling echoes through the hallway, and with every step they take, the upbeat tempo of music could be heard from behind the Gallery doors. The closer they went, the louder it became. The melody drifts in the air like a calm perfume for the ears, capturing Peach’s attention with its harmonious essence. A delicious delicacy for the senses. Just like Phantom’s voice. He must have composed this melody, for there is no way Peach could have been so immersed and entranced by its sound if it wasn’t. The three ladies approach the Gallery doors, the music muffled behind them. Natasha takes a glance back at Peach and Ophelia, unable to contain her excitement anymore.

She pushes the doors wide open.

What words could possibly describe the sheer extravagance of the Gallery? To think that all of this is completely underground! To think Phantom created this gargantuan chamber, big enough for him and perhaps one hundred guests! Maybe even more than that. Peach could tell, just by admiring the Gallery, Phantom is quite the fan of marble, silver, and velvet. Marble floors and pillars framing the chamber and silver-framed mirrors and portraits decorate the walls. Deep black velvet curtains cascade from the middle of the ceiling and down towards the floor, giving the appearance of one massive Bohemian tent. In the middle hangs a glamourous jeweled chandelier, giving a dim light to the darkness. Looking around, Peach notices there are seven rooms divided by the curtains, each one color-coded, with three rooms on both towards the left and right. To the left are the colors blue, purple, and green, and to the right are orange, white, and violet. The seventh room is located right in front of the ladies, right across from the Gallery entrance. Inside is completely shrouded in shades of red – wine, scarlet, crimson, garnet – and there sits in a shiny throne a crowned gentleman – a prince – with a glass of Amontillado in his hand. His wavy, champagne blonde hair falls delicately around his party mask and square facial structure. His rosy lips gently purse as he raises his glass to drink. He is accompanied by two other women, who are garbed to the nines in the richest finery, blushing and laughing amongst themselves. Every now and then, the prince would turn to one of them and whisper in their ear, making their faces turn into deeper shades of red. As Peach follows Natasha and Ophelia, she finds more guests, all conversing amongst one another in the color-coded rooms. The costumes they wear are vibrant in color and theme, ranging from jesters, to creatures, to knights, to fairies and pixies. These guests, including the prince himself, must all be part of Phantom’s theatre troupe. Peach begins to count: one… two… four… six… nine… eleven. Eleven members of the troupe. She wonders if there are any more, considering how large the Gallery is.

The prince turns his attention suddenly towards Peach, and so do the two women. Soon, almost everyone begins to stop for a moment and do the same. Simultaneously, Natasha and Ophelia bow, gesturing to Peach, “My Lord, we have brought you your special guest, Princess Morrigan of the Stygian Border.” The prince sets down his glass on a nearby silver platter, and stands right up from his throne, adjusting his vest and coat. “C’est magnifique, my loyal subjects! Now the masquerade can truly begin! Come, come! The night is young, gather around everyone! Let us celebrate all of our blessings and forget our grievances!” he declared, “May we prosper in these trying times, and may we never run out of wine to drink.” The crowd laughs and cheers, some of them raising their own glasses. He turns to Peach, his eyes wandering up and down, and smirks, “My, my… Enchantee, your highness. I must say, you look… ravishing tonight. I am Prince Fortunato, at your service. Why don’t you join me, my dear, in the Red Room? Surely, we can have some… fun together, what do you say?” Greeting her, Prince Fortunato places a soft kiss on her hand, his emerald eyes admiring her beauty. Or perhaps something else. Although Peach has to be polite, she immediately had no interest in him. Too cocky, she thinks to herself, too full of himself. It reminds her too much of Bowser. Then again, Phantom was that way, too, at least in the past. But she learned that he was not licentious. He never looked anywhere else but into her eyes. He never searched for anything other than her eyes. He ever seemed like he was after a particular goal other than seeing her whenever they meet. That is the one thing Peach was sure about. Ah, but remember! This is only roleplay; nothing is real. Prince Fortunato, as well as everyone else, is only pretending. In that case, this gentleman is an excellent actor!

Prince Fortunato leads Peach back to his throne, the two women still standing to accompany him. Envy fills the air. Their expressions turn sour as they watch Peach get even more attention than them. Peach could already tell that this is no ordinary masquerade. She has been to many royal revelries throughout her life, and all of them were filled to the brim with sophistication. Every guest, staff member, and host had class – anything that was considered less than classy wasn’t allowed. This masquerade is different in terms of the usual standards of hosting such parties. It was as eccentric as its Gothic décor, consisting of tables filled with silver platters of fruits, meats, bread, and desserts, goblets of beverages, and candles. Every once and a while, a few guests would stuff themselves and each other with this feast, disregarding etiquette for sheer pleasure. Peach isn’t used to the cacophony of this kind of merrymaking. All of this was nothing but pure, unadulterated debauchery – something she was taught never to delve into. She is a princess, after all, and princesses never do those sorts of things. However, did she not accept the invitation to let herself loose? Did she not agree to join this performance – this masquerade – to experience something new for once? For once? Feeling out of place just standing idle amongst Prince Fortunato and the guests, Peach goes over to one of the tables and picks at a plate of grapes. She watches as the guests gather around Natasha and Ophelia in one huge circle, clapping to the music’s rhythm as they frolic together. The fabrics of their dresses fly with their movements as if they were colorful wings dancing in the darkness. As she plops the grapes delicately into her mouth, her eyes continue to wander over the décor. Suddenly, she stops at a grim sight. There as the centerpiece sits three skulls, two of them from a different species, ones Peach isn’t familiar with. The skull placed in the middle, however, is human. She could not tell if these skulls were real. She hopes they aren’t real. Taking a closer look, an engraving is found on its forehead: Ars longa, vita brevis.

Without warning, the Gallery doors burst open! The music stops – the crowd jumps in surprise! Prince Fortunato rises to his feet, alarmed by this sudden interruption. Peach turns around. There standing in the doorway is an aged peasant woman in old, torn rags, her hair glowing bright red like a burning inferno. Her complexion is dirtied, her makeup is smudged, her eyes red-hot with fury. She scowls as she approaches the partygoers, her hands clenched as if she is about to attack. “For shame!Have you no shame?!” the peasant chants, flailing her arms with rage, “Have you no compassion for your people?! The plague lays waste throughout the land! And yet, here you are, surrounding yourself with wealth and whores! They are suffering! They are dying! There is no hope for us! For shame! For shame! Have you no shame?!” Peach watches as everyone else steps back, avoiding her filthy presence. Twelve. Twelve members in Phantom’s theatre troupe. Prince Fortunato steps forward, confronting her, “Who dares… who dares interrupts us?! Who dares trespass Fort Fortunato and speak against the Crown?!”

“It is your undoing that dares enter your home! This, all of this, will be your downfall!” she responds back angerly, gesturing to the masquerade.

“Leave this instant, or else I’ll have your head for this!”

“I have seen it, Prince Fortunato! I have seen your fate in the deepest of dreams! Doom is upon you all!”

“Ah, it’s one of those so-called soothsayers my people love so much… how lovely. They love having their fortunes told, don’t they? Superstitions and all that. Hmmm. Well, in that case, go on. Amuse us with your… dreams and visions, fortune teller. We do love to be entertained.”

“It will come, Prince Fortunato, in retribution of your indulgences. You and your party may hide all you want; it will still find you! Mortals cannot escape from what is inevitable. In the end, it shall visit us when our time comes… and your time is nigh.”

“Qu’est-ce que tu racontes? What is this ‘it’ you’re talking about? Whatever ‘it’ is, I am sure it will not ruin this masquerade. Princess, do you hear all this? She’s simply mad!”

“Our time is nigh!”

“Tu es timbre!”

“For shame! For shame!”

“Quitter cet endroit!”

“Have you no shame?!”

The peasant stops. Her eyes shift towards Peach. A look of horror falls upon her face. “You…”, she whispers, slowly raising a pointed finger at her. Peach watches as she approaches her, still pointing, terrified. Her expression contorts as if she is studying, searching for something. “You… are to be Death’s Bride… Yes! You are Death’s Bride!” she exclaims, falling to her knees, clutching Peach’s skirt, “Oh, you poor soul! So young… innocent… all to be swept by its dark embrace! I beg of you, your highness, leave this place! Forget these fools! Forget all of this! Save yourself!” With a swift grab, Prince Fortunato pulls the peasant away by the shoulder and pushes her aside. “Unhand her this instant! You trespass my fortress, you waste our time with your superstitions, and now you insult me and my guests?” he yells, “Everyone! Let us show this insolent wretch what it means to insult those higher than her! Bring me a chair! Bring me some rope! Let’s play a game with her, shall we?” Peach could not believe it. A prince sacrificing the well-being of his people for an elaborate masquerade! And now, he and the other guests have decided to torture this poor woman! She cannot stay silent any longer – she must act! “Wait!” Peach cries, making everyone stop in unison, “Have mercy on her! Please!” Prince Fortunato scoffs in amusement, “Why, and for what? She insulted us, you heard her!”

“Yes, but none of that would have happened if you attended to your royal duties as Prince and took care of your people!”

“E-excusez-moi?”

“This poor woman is in dire need of assistance, and you have all the wealth to help her! Maybe you should consider.”

“Ha! My dear, you jest! I have no need for peasants! Why should I dabble in their affairs?”

“Because their affairs are yours as well. They have relied on you for so long, and you rely on them. Without your people, you’re done for!”

“Do you not see the extravagance of this masquerade? The bountiful feasts presented on the tables? Our costumes? The wine in our glasses? I am rich, Princess Morrigan! Wealthy beyond imagination!”

“Wealth that came from people like her! Please, my Lord, have mercy.”

“Are you mad? Ha, you must be! Just as mad as the fortune teller!”

“If I am as mad as her, then I must be! Yes, that’s it! Perhaps your foolishness is just another wild hallucination, for what respectable royalty spoils themselves to the point of gluttony and greed?”

A crowd of gasps shatter the silence. The crowd glance at Peach, then at the prince, then back at her, awaiting another response. Prince Fortunato stands silent, completely stunned by her audacity. His face becomes flushed, his teeth gritting, his emerald eyes bright with anger. His fists clench. “Oh…. I’m a fool, am I? Am I a fool?! I am not a fool! I am Prince Fortunato, the next in line! Heir to the throne! I am as respectable as royalty can be!” he furiously shouts, “I will not be insulted like this! I will not be degraded like this! I need not your judgment, or hers, or anyone else’s! I am no fool, do you hear me? I am not a fool! I am a Prince, full of riches and beauty! I am perfect! I am powerful! I am untouchable! You think I’m a fool? You call me a fool, eh? Ha ha! Well then, let me entertain you all! Come, gather around, my lovely guests! Let me show you what a true fool really is!” With a whip of his cape, Prince Fortunato rushes from the crowd and goes behind the throne. Everyone watches as he switches his coat and cape with another coat and removes his crown with another accessory. In a matter of seconds, he reappears, this time donning a shiny blue coat and a mask in the shape of a rabbit’s face. Raising his arms, he presents his new costume to the crowd, “Here! Here! I am now a fool! But Prince Fortunato? Oh no, no, no! He is no fool! You imbeciles! He is a national treasure!” Has Prince Fortunato finally lost his sanity? What could he possibly gain from this? Peach is stunned, as much as the rest of the others. However, she is not as terrified as everyone else. She sees Natasha and Ophelia cradling each other, comforting one another despite both being in distress. She sees Stefan in costume backing away, almost seeming to run away and hide somewhere safe. She sees Dolores frozen in utter fear.

Peach remembers what she had said: “My master can be terrifying when he has his moments.”

No one could help but watch as Prince Fortunato danced along the ballroom floor, singing random songs in a mocking fashion. He flails his arms, waving his hands wildly as if no one is watching him. Is this even part of the roleplay? This moment feels too spontaneous to even be scripted. Peach could not imagine Phantom having his own theatre troupe mock him, regardless of whether or not it would be intentional. Whoever is playing Prince Fortunato must truly be a fool. Prince Fortunato sings in a sardonic tone:

🎶“Look at me!

Watch me float and gloat and show off my coat!

Watch me as I sing about plumbers – oh, how I hate them!

I hate them so much, oh what a bummer!

Watch me as I make sweet, sweet love to my precious spotlight

Under the moonlight!”🎶

Although the song is less than perfect, Peach admits to herself: he has an amazing singing voice! And he sings opera, just like his master! She wonders if all of the members of the theatre troupe can sing as well. Ah, no! Enough of that! Don’t get distracted now! As he sings, Prince Fortunato runs and leaps onto a nearby table, knocking over huge plates of food, skulls, and candles on the floor. Everyone else watches as he spins and taps his feet on the table, his arms still flailing around. No one in the theatre troupe tries to stop him – they’re all too shocked and afraid to even do so. They did not want to get involved in such mockery. Peach could. However, what would happen if she did? As much as she would like to stop him, she just couldn’t. For whatever reason, whether it be out of shock, or out of fear, or out of curiosity, she did not move at all. Still, the Prince continues:

🎶“Imbecile, imbecile, imbecile!

Everyone’s an imbecile but me!

Listen to me, listen to me!

My ego is as big as it can be!

Come, my Princess, marry me please

Or else I’ll cry, cry, cry!”🎶

Then, the sudden drone of a large bell rings! It brings everyone into a hush, sending an immense chill down their spine. No one moves. The drone continues. And continues. And continues. Is this what the peasant woman was talking about? The impending doom that is to fall upon this masquerade? The fate of everyone who stands here on this very night? This inevitability that will claim those who still walk on this earth? Whatever is coming for them… has arrived to make its debut.

The Gallery doors creak open. Seeping through the entrance is a cloud of fog, billowing across the floor like a massive white sheet. It surrounds everyone, almost rising up to their knees, and soon the entire chamber is filled to the brim with gloom. Prince Fortunato finally steps down, his eyes staring in fear at the entrance, and retreats behind Peach. As fate approaches them, soft murmurs of terror arise from the crowd. One by one, each and every actor and actress trembles in anticipation. Peach awaits as well, but more out of curiosity than the shock of terror. This feeling; she remembers it all too well. She has to know what happens next. She has to know what kind of resolution this entire roleplay performance is coming to. Although the resolution is frightening, it was the satisfaction of discovery that keeps her within the Gallery. She will not leave. Fear will not take over. Only curiosity. Only awe and wonder. Only fascination.

And lo and behold, there stands the face of Death in his newest and blackest masterpiece.

He stands tall, bejeweled and shrouded in crimson, emerging from behind the murky darkness. The sheer size of him is intimidating enough, but the opulence in which he had adorned himself gives him an almost divine presence in the masquerade. Out of all the costumes Peach has seen, this one is more magnificent – more vibrant and elaborate – than the rest. Blood red veils cascade down from his large cavalier hat and alongside his cape. His vest a skeletal ribcage, patterns of bones scatter his scarlet greatcoat, and in his paws is a colossal gold cane. Hidden underneath the shadow of his hat is a golden mask, formed into the shape of a skull. Everyone slowly backs away as this masked red-clad stranger approaches them. But not Peach. Instead, she stays, completely in awe. She has become too enamored by his Gothic glamour to even be remotely scared. Finally. After so many days, they finally meet once again. She could see his sapphire eyes peering through and meeting hers with a sign of notice. He stops for a moment. That look… that tender gaze! Although they had only met for a little while before this moment, Peach confesses to herself: she could never have enough of those bright eyes. Those gleaming sapphire eyes. Even through that skull mask of his, she could stare into them all night long.

Alluring… Beguiling… Captivating… Enchanting…

Phantom shifts his attention to Prince Fortunato, his eyes wide with fury. The partygoers cower as he floats over to the foolish prince, towering over him as he looks down. Prince Fortunato scrambles, quickly taking off his blue coat and rabbit mask, full of sweat, almost hyperventilating. His face is revealed with a terrified expression. His eyes look up at Phantom, awaiting whatever fate – whatever punishment – shall bestow upon him. Phantom twists his cane and slowly he pulls it apart, revealing it to be a scabbard with a long, sharp sword inside it. Peach gasps as he unsheathes his weapon, raises it up in the air, and points it down at a quivering Prince Fortunato. “Please, monsieur!” Prince Fortunato gasps and swallows, “Spare me! It was only a mere jest! I was only having some fun entertaining my guests! I-I am the host, after all! Monsieur, please… Have mercy…!” Everyone watches in horror as he pleads for forgiveness. Phantom takes in a deep breathe; music begins to play again. It is in minor key, deep and dramatic – the orchestral equivalent to an imposing force. Peach holds her breath. Finally. With a smooth, baritone voice, Phantom sings his haunting solo:

🎶“Fortunato!

Surrender to me,

Look upon the face of Death!

It is meant to be,

Now savor your last breath!

Fortunato!

Your time has come at last,

Take your final drink of wine!

For your sins in the past,

Oh Prince, your soul will be mine!”🎶

“No!” the prince cries out, “You cannot take me! I will not let you! My guests need me! My people need me!” What hypocrisy! What foolishness! Peach watches intently. What is going to happen next? Will this masked presence spare Prince Fortunato? Will Prince Fortunato’s mockery be forgiven? She anticipates what comes next, whatever that may be. But although she tries to expect the unexpected, there is one thing she is certain about: the masquerade was doomed from the very beginning. Phantom lowers his sword, just by an inch, almost as if in contemplation. A few moments of silence passes. Everyone watches him in anticipation. Peach. Prince Fortunato. Dolores, Stefan, Natasha and Ophelia. Everyone. Anticipating. Anticipating. Anticipating.

Phantom smirks, letting out a soft chuckle. His sword lowers even more, and finally inserts it back into the scabbard. A sigh of relief fills the Gallery…

Then sudden horror! It happened so swiftly. So much so that if one were to blink at that moment, they would miss it completely. A scream pierces the silence! It was Prince Fortunato, now on the floor collapsed to his knees! He screams in agony as his covers his face! Phantom had made a sharp wave of his hand, almost as if he were to slap him across the face. But no! It was much, much worse. A terrible fate had fell upon the prince.

Blood…!

Oozing from his face is a gush of crimson blood! His eye sockets, his nostrils, his mouth, his pores – all drenched in blood! Horrid blemishes begin appearing on his flesh, leaving opened, pus-filled wounds as they pop one by one! Tears and yellow fluids mix with the blood, staining the floor with a pool of secretions! And the screams! Oh, the screams! Prince Fortunato tries to hide his face once more, only to find that it hurts too much! His hands pull away from his face – and, oh God! His flesh, his flesh – it is rotting away! What was once the pristine beauty of a spoiled, gluttonous prince is now the face of nightmares. He coughs and chokes; he cannot scream anymore – blood has filled his throat! He falls onto the floor, panicking, suffering! To think that this is what his people had to endure while no one was there to save their lives. With eyes stained with tears and blood, he rushes over to his guests and reaches for help, but in vain, for who could ever touch a diseased man? With a final cry of fear, Prince Fortunato falls. There lays on the floor is a twitching corpse, the face mutilated by the worst of illnesses…

This display of gore puts the guests into a state of frenzied panic! More screams and sobs fill the Gallery, as well as the sound of footsteps running and chairs and tables knocked over. If they don’t do something, Phantom will come after them next! Anything to get away from this face of Death. Chaos ensues! All except for Peach. Peach stands still amongst the disorder of the partygoers. Her widened eyes are fixated on Phantom. Is it shock? Is it fear? Is it something else entirely? Of course, anybody would be frightened by the sheer grotesqueness of the prince’s death and the possibility of meeting the same fate. But strangely, it seems to not bother Peach at all, almost as if she isn’t aware of the situation. Perhaps she is still mesmerized by Phantom’s extravagant appearance? Perhaps she is somehow desensitized? Whatever is going on, Peach still remains, as well as the peasant woman. The two ladies stare as Phantom slowly turns to watch over the terrified crowd. He observes the scene quietly. All in unison, the panicked guests rush toward the Gallery doors. With a wave of his hand, he blocks the entrance, slamming it tightly shut. Ophelia throws herself on the doors, slamming her fists frantically, “Open the doors! Open the doors! Oh please, open the doors!” Everyone begins to do the same. But alas, their attempts of escape are futile, for their master – the Red Death – had already claimed their souls. Once again, Phantom sings:

🎶“Crowned with privilege and villainous

Bathe in the blood of your wickedness

Tonight, retribution is at hand

For this masquerade shall be damned

Mask yourselves to hide your shame

But in the end, they know your name

Into the earth, your corpses will sink

May your blood be the wine they drink…”🎶

And one by one, each guest fell, forming a massive pile of bloodied bodies in front of the entrance. Peach takes in what had just happened. She had never seen something so macabre before. Roleplay, she thinks to herself, this is all just roleplay. This is all just pretend. No one is hurt. They are all just acting. This is all just roleplay. But by the stars, it looks so… real! There is blood everywhere. Not just the red pool on the floor, but also smeared handprints on the doors too. How did Phantom do all of this? This must have taken so much effort and hard work to even pull off such a remarkably gory scene! Peach couldn’t help but wonder what exactly went through Phantom’s mind when making this performance. This was something she never expected, let alone how absolutely graphic it was going to be. But regardless, the entirety of the roleplay screamed Phantom. It was bold. Dramatic. A complete subversion from a usual masterpiece. There was grandeur, there was beauty, there was mystery, there was tension. Then finally the payoff – an act of karma against the avaricious Prince Fortunato and his hedonistic friends. Now only she and the peasant woman are left. Peach cannot imagine what this powerful reaper is going to do next. Ah, no – she suddenly remembers!

Death’s Bride. She is to be Death’s Bride…

Her thoughts are interrupted by another cry, this time from the peasant woman. She turns to find Phantom approaching her, his hand lifting up to claim another soul. But why must the good die? Death is inevitable, it is true. Life is short. Peach knew this. But what did this poor woman do to deserve such a fate? Why do bad things happen to good people? Perhaps it is meant to be, just like what Phantom said. Roleplay. It is all just roleplay. Should she stand by and let things take its course? Or maybe… what could she do? Roleplay…. Ah, of course! Peach dashes over and stands in between them. “Wait!” she says, defending the peasant woman, “Have mercy on her!” Phantom pauses, taken by surprise for a moment, but then resumes in character. “Young or old, poor or rich… Death waits for no one. Her time has come.” Phantom calmly responds, his voice low. “Can you at least give her enough time to live another day? Can you see she has suffered enough? Please, I beg of you.” Peach pleads.

“You stand in front of the face of Death… and yet you are not frightened. Are you… not afraid of me?”

“I do not fear what is inevitable. I just want to give her another chance.”

“Such compassion… and all of this for a stranger. However, as painful as it may be, you cannot persuade me to spare her.”

“If that is not enough, then I will offer a gift to you.”

“And what is this gift you speak of?”

“For this woman’s life, I offer you myself. You can have my soul. You can have everything, all of me, and I will not refuse you.”

Phantom is rendered speechless, despite staying in character. Do his ears deceive him? No, it couldn’t be. It couldn’t possibly be! Deep down inside, he could not believe what Peach had just said. He watches as Peach ushers the peasant woman to flee the masquerade, and so she does, retreating to a small secret entrance hidden by the large curtains. Silence. As much as he tries, Phantom seems to be unable to speak. Now only he and the princess are alone. Together. Just like that one night. “I believe that is enough to persuade you?” Peach says with a soft smile. That smile. Oh, that sweet smile! He could stare at it forever! “I can be yours, and yours only. I will not leave. I will be not be frightened.” she continues, “It must be lonely, going around the world and reaping souls for those who’s time has passed. You don’t have to be lonely. You can have a companion! Someone who will join you by you side. Don’t you want that?” Companionship. Is Peach talking to Death or to Phantom himself? The lines between roleplay and real life begin to blur before his very eyes. He could not differentiate which is just acting or an actual confession. She must be playing a trick – she must be! This could not possibly be real! This is just too good to be true! Taking in a deep breath, staring deep into Peach’s pretty eyes, Phantom sings one last solo:

🎶“Oh, Sweet Maiden!

Surrender to me,

Look upon your paramour!

It is meant to be,

Together forevermore!

Oh, Sweet Maiden!

Your time has come at last

Take your final drink of wine

For this spell I shall cast

My Bride, your heart will be mine!”🎶

With a wave of his hand, two shiny, black feathered wings sprout from Peach’s back! Peach glances over in surprise, admiring her new wings. They sparkled under the light of the chandelier with iridescent glitter. Natasha must have added these in while making her costume. Once again, she continues to be impressed be Natasha’s work. Then her eyes glance over towards the Gallery entrance. Peach stops. Something has changed. Her eyes squints as she tries to make out what she is seeing. Confusion floods her mind until realization hits her.

The bodies… are those…. Mannequins?

Phantom places his paw on her cheek, delicately turning her face towards him. The softness of his caress fills her senses, and she is greeted by his tender gaze. What a tender gaze he has! As her eyes are locked in his gaze, Peach feels herself being gently embraced around her waist and leaning back into a dip. Her heart begins to race. Beat after beat it quickens its pace, her breathing becomes more and more shaky. It must be adrenaline – all of this is so new to her. Peach finds herself reaching out towards Phantom and, ever so gently, she takes off his skull mask, revealing his face. At long last, she finally sees him. Oh, how she missed him! “Did you enjoy the show, your highness?” Phantom grins, “I must admit, there were some things that weren’t… intended to happen, but as long a—” He is stopped, as Peach catches him off guard. Locked in a tight hug around his neck, he feels his lips being locked with hers. It was passionate yet gentle and warm. Peach, the princess he has adored for so many years, is giving him a kiss. A kiss! Is this a dream? Is this actually happening? So many thoughts went through Phantom’s mind. He could not process all of them at once; his head could possibly burst from excitement! His eyes flutter and close, letting himself melt into Peach’s embrace. If they could pull each closer than they already are, they could. But no matter how much closer they can be, it just wasn’t enough. They wanted each other. They craved each other. The unbridled desire for connection and companionship broke loose, and immediately they find themselves losing all control of their yearning. Their lips break apart, their hot breaths mingling with each other. They open their eyes; Peach grins and so does Phantom. They kiss again, neither of them wanting to stop. “Ah…!” Phantom gasps in between her soft lips, “Mon ange de la mort…!”

Overwhelmed, Peach swoons as Phantom dips her even further and surrenders herself to his kiss of death.

---

She woke up the next morning. The first thought that would have come to her mind was how she even managed to return to her castle without any notice. But no, the very first thought that came to her mind was what happened last night. She laid in her bed and, as stares up at the ceiling, touched her lips softly with her fingertips. Then up her rosy cheek, then down to her neck, and across her bare shoulders. She could still feel his touch. She sighs deeply – what a performance that was! Peach stretched her whole body and curled up, sinking back into sleep. A love stricken grin appeared on her face as she whispered to herself, “Until we meet again.”

[lilacandladybugs]

hey since youre talking about christianity, i was wondering if you could answer a question ive been curious about. if god cares about people and if jesus died for our sins, then why does hell exist? and if god cares about us then why did he let so much bad stuff happened in his name, and even cause it, like with the noah’s arch story?

sorry if any of this is wrong ive never read the bible, but ive had bad experiences with christianity in the past and the way you talk about it seems much nicer than the way i know it

I don’t think I can answer this question in a way that doesn’t come across as pretentious or like I’m asking for an argument or just being straight up unsatisfying. But I just am going to try anyway because i'm hoping that maybe this will be comforting or helpful to someone. I’m sorry if this is offensive I am really trying my best, please take this all in the best possible way and be gracious with me 

The thing about this ask is that it’s actually a bunch of different questions, and since each of them individually is really hard to answer so I’m going to narrow it down to just one ( im sorry ;-; ) . The one I’ve thought about the most is “Why does God let bad things happen if he loves us?”

When this question first really occurred to me, I was already a believer. So I was already pretty convinced that God exists logically, from the perspective of history, philosophy, science, and my personal experience. I believed in the /existence/ of the God who is represented in the scriptures. (I doubt anyone wants it but I can give you a list of resources if you want to look into any of that.) The struggle for me was whether or not all that evidence held true in the face of this moral dilemma; the problem of evil in the presence of a loving God.

But I just couldn’t turn my back on the concept of a moral grounding in God. I had a philosophy professor tell me that people are mortal and so we shouldn’t grieve them like they’re immortal, that grief is a choice, and that trauma is a choice. I respected her so much, but I just couldn’t accept that. There’s nothing more unsettling to me than suggesting that cruelty and death and suffering are only wrong because you think they are, and not because they’re violating sacred ancient laws. My friends dying, people hurting me, that isn’t just in my head. It’s /real/. They’re really dead, and it really matters. People really did something wrong when they hurt me, and it isn’t my fault for being hurt. It’s their fault for being cruel. And their cruelty is objectively morally wrong.

I realized that if I became an atheist I would have to accept the fact that there isn’t /objectively/ any difference between right and wrong. There isn’t any theoretical “right way” that the world should be. But to me, there is a right way it should be. There is a right way and it was lost because of sin.

It was I guess comforting that Christianity provided the premises I needed to ask a question like this. Evil exists. And love exists. So how can God exist? What a comforting question, in a way. To get to grieve, to be angry, to wonder what’s going on, to want things to be different. It was validating i guess

Don’t get me wrong i was FURIOUS i was so angry. I was so angry and so conflicted I kind of thought I might just like rip apart at my seams but I just felt caught between a rock and a hard place to be either abandoned by God or to not even be able to think about my experiences in a way that felt coherent.

He showed up though. I remember swearing at him, and laying up at night thinking he wasn’t there, I told him I wouldn’t have to have trauma if he would’ve stepped in, that my friends wouldn’t be dead, that he let it happen to me, that he just /witnessed/ it. And man idk he just showed up. He showed up every time. I almost walked away like five times that summer. And every time he sent someone, there was always someone that showed up and talked to me like out of nowhere. Or music, or scripture, or something someone said in passing. 

The night that it was really bad was when I realized that the only person who could save me was God and I cried out to him, and I just idk I’ve never been so desperate. I went to church the next day against my will and the sermon felt like it was written for me specifically. I cried through the whole thing.

If God is goodness, then how can I say he isn’t with me and around me constantly? In the sunrise and sunset, in the stars, in flowers, and in kind words. In sermons. In friends and family. In all the coincidences that stopped me from becoming an atheist, all of the answered prayers and the impossibilities. That’s why my side blog is called @in-the-whisper. Because I felt him there, even though it hurt, he was with me in the quiet and in the silence, in his whisper in a thousand different ways.

I was posed this question by someone who was there for me in one of those moments where I almost walked away from God, “Is sufficiency abundant?” I guess I thought it was. Where was God? In the peace that surpasses understanding. In the knowledge that everything is finished, that he died for us, that he didn’t abandon us. That whatever terrible things happen, he was willing to take all of the consequences for that onto himself in the person of Jesus. That one day he will set things right, even though it isn’t right right now. 

It comes down to the Gospel (good news, core story of the Christian faith); humanity actively chose to walk away from God in an act of rebellion. We had free will because God created us tenderly to be in a loving relationship with him, and loving relationships must be based on free will and they must be two way. So he let us walk away from him, and away from the sustainer of life our bodies break, our world crumbles, and we die. In order to bridge that gap, he chose to die in our place, so that we could re enter that free will relationship with him if we so choose. He died on the cross, descended into hell, and then in three days he rose from the grave, defeating death. And one day he will return on a white horse to rescue us and to take the world back as his own. If I believed that to be true, then I believed in the greatest intervention in human history that has ever occurred. The God of the Bible isn’t a distant God, "God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him." 1 John 4:9 He did the unthinkable for us.

Living in light of the gospel helped me to understand the way that God is present in my life, my present, past, and in my future. It gave me peace. When Horatio G. Spafford’s two daughters and wife died in a shipwreck, he wrote this,

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul." 

“Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate and has shed His own blood for my soul.

“My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought. My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight The clouds be rolled back as a scroll The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend Even so, it is well with my soul!

“It is well with my soul, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

I don’t have an answer for your question. What I know is that I am willing to rest in the knowledge of my personal experiences and my research that God exists, that he is loving, and that he is powerful, just, and wise. Even the winds and the seas obey him, the mountains are like pebbles to him, thunder rolls at the sound of his voice. He had thought before time began, he gave all knowledge and all wisdom to us. 

Why do bad things happen also brings up the question, why do good things happen? Who do we have to thank when we get up in the morning and can see or hear or move or are alive in general? Why are we so blessed as to have two days and not just one? Where do mornings and complexity and beauty and wonder come from? They come from him. Not because we need it, but because he wants to give it to us. Enjoyment, existence, love, laughter, thought, beauty, heartbreak. The world is just as beautiful as it is terrible, and why should it be beautiful? Because he wants it to be that way.

God is so patient. He is so patient and kind and powerful, and he wants to hear your questions. Some of them, like this one, are in my opinion something that you have to talk to him about directly. He gives us thought and logic and reason and wisdom, and he asks for us to engage him. He will answer.

If any believers are reading this, I want you to know that it is enough to cry out to him in pain. It is enough to want to want to believe in him. He would so much rather hear from you in your anger than never hear from you at all. Seek him out, he will find you. He will chase after you.

I bet that he would chase after me, bet my life on it. I might not know the answer, but I am confident enough in what I do know that I’m willing to bet my existence that God will come true on his promises, that he will deliver me, that everything will be okay, that he is bigger than my trauma, and that he will hold me.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,     neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     so are my ways higher than your ways     and my thoughts than your thoughts. 10 As the rain and the snow     come down from heaven, and do not return to it     without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,     so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:     It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire     and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 12 You will go out in joy     and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills     will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field     will clap their hands. 13 Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,     and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown,     for an everlasting sign,     that will endure forever.” Isaiah 55:8-13

And I’m holding him to that promise.

[tsukihimeyfan]

Sozin’s Comet’s Deus Ex Machina (and ways to fix them)

I’m sure that most of us AtLA fans can agree that the four part Finale was one of the best moments in animation history, with astoundingly well choreographed fight scenes, fantastic emotional beats, gorgeous animation, and frankly breath-taking music. However, I’m also sure I’m not the only one who was frustrated by one aspect of it in particular, the one blot on an otherwise perfect finale: what I like to call the “lion-turtle and pointy rock” ex machina.

The saddest part is that there was very little they had to change to get to a satisfactory, ties-everything-together ending. For example, take Energy-bending and the Lion-turtle. I saw a post a while ago where they suggested that energybending could’ve been related to what Aang learned from the swamp and the Guru, and it just makes SO much sense (Note: I saw the post months ago and I can’t find it anymore, so if anyone knows who first posted that theory please let me know so that I can give credit where credit’s due). After all, Aang seemed to use the energy of the swamp to sense where Appa and Momo were, and later, during Appa’s Lost Days, Guru Pathik says this:

Meaning he, a non-bender, is capable of reading the energy of others, and of locating people bonded to them from miles away. Let’s not forget that he had also previously sensed everything Appa had gone through with the same ability. Sounds like a really useful skill, wouldn’t you say?

Also, looking at both “sensing” occurrences, they look remarkably similar, so we can be reasonably sure that they’re both employing the same method.

It would’ve been so easy to have Aang take a moment to ask how Guru Pathik met Appa. After all, as far as the Gaang knew, Appa was taken by merchants to be sold in Ba Sing Se, so he shouldn’t have had a chance to meet anyone at the Eastern Air Temple. Did the merchants pass through the temple on the way to Ba Sing Se? Did the Guru try to set Appa free? Pathik would then have to explain how Appa had already escaped on his own, and he helped him find Aang by reading his energy. Aang could then ask the Guru to teach him this ability so that if they ever get separated again he’d be able to find and help Appa easily. Boom - energybending basics acquired.

A highly spiritual person like Aang would no doubt have little problems mastering the sensing ability, especially since he’s used a limited version of it before at the Swamp. Also, if we think about how much the spiritual mentors in the show have tried to drill it into Aang that all things are connected,

we can assume that after mastering everything Guru Pathik could do he would eventually be able to sense even people vaguely connected to him from far away. Being the Avatar, the bridge between the spiritual and physical worlds, would almost certainly also help him master energysensing abilities no other had before. 

Maybe they could’ve added a few 30 second scenes here and there of Aang meditating to hone his energysensing skills. Also, during the whole Boiling Rock debacle, imagine how great it would’ve been if Sokka had asked Aang about his dad and, after pressing his hand to Sokka’s forehead and following his bond to his father, Aang was able to tell him that his dad was alive and well, and that he was somewhere in the direction they’d come from, though at that point he wouldn’t be able to pinpoint his exact location.

“I’m sorry Sokka... I can’t tell exactly where he is yet... I know that’s not really helpful...”

“No, knowing he’s alright is plenty. Thanks, buddy”

After Sokka and Zuko rescue Hakoda, I could picture Aang practicing harder than ever until he could use Hakoda’s bond to Bato and the others to locate them in a prison in Caldera City (which would’ve made rescue before ending the war difficult to say the least, and would explain how they were all there for Zuko’s coronation so fast)

Later, during Aang’s trip to the mysterious island, it would’ve been so cool if, instead of handing him the ability, the lion-turtle just told him this:

... and maybe showed him visions of his energysensing training when he did the forehead-touch thing. Then, during the battle with Ozai, maybe after redirecting the lightning away from Ozai Aang could think to himself “I can’t... he may be a monster, but he’s still my friend’s father!”. Then, he suddenly realizes that just like with his friends and family, Aang has a connection with Ozai too, and that if sensing someone’s energy happens by putting a bit of his energy into them, maybe he can use the same route to take some of Ozai’s energy away from him.

Imagine how amazing it would’ve been if they’d added those little snippets of Aang’s energybending training all throughout book 3, without giving it that name, and then Aang used what he’d learned from Guru Pathik and Huu and what he’d taught himself to rediscover a technique that hadn’t been used in millenia all by himself! (well, with a little “nudge in the right direction” from lionturtle-sensei) We were SO close, all the building blocks were there but... *sigh* we ended up still so far. 

Continued with solving “pointy-rock-ex-machina” under the cut

In Book 2, we’re told that to master the Avatar State Aang has to “let go of his attachments”, but that plot point is dropped completely and all he has to do is get hit in his lightning scar and BAM! Avatar State unlocked, no letting go required! 😒 

He was still just as attached to Katara as he was during Book 2, if not more so. So, in the interest of trying to figure out how to tie up as many loose ends as possible, we could try to hit two birds with one stone by fixing another thing at the same time that wasn’t addressed either. 

We could start with a conversation between Aang and Katara where he apologizes for kissing her when she clearly didn’t want him to at some point during Sozin’s Comet Part 1 - The Phoenix King.

“I accept your apology Aang” Katara’d say, “but from now on make sure to respect people’s boundaries, Ok? Especially girls’ boundaries :) We can talk about this more after everything’s over”

At this point, maybe Aang could be left to think and reflect on his relationship with Katara, on his attachment to her, and on how he’d started thinking about her as “his” almost without any input from her.

Maybe Aang could begin to really understand what Guru Pathik was trying to teach him when he said “you must let go”, and the difference between love and unhealthy attachment to people.

He’d therefore be going into the fight with Ozai with that fresh on his mind.

Then, as the battle raged and he grew increasingly desperate, maybe he’d try a few times to force himself into the Avatar State only to fail miserably. 

At this moment

when he’s been overpowered and cornered (and also has a little bit of “downtime” to think), he could start desperately trying to figure out a way to enter the Avatar State, and wondering why he can’t do it. Katara’s been healing him every day! The scar doesn’t even hurt anymore! Why doesn’t it work???

Then, he'd realize that it doesn’t really make sense for a lightning strike to lock his 7th Chakra, since according to what Guru Pathik taught him chakras are locked or unlocked through changes in emotional and spiritual state, not physical. 

(Note: this is also backed up by what little I know of irl chakras and activating Kundalini in the Yoga school of Hindu philosophy. If anyone knows more about it please feel free to add to this or correct me. I’d love to learn how the concept of chakras in Avatar contrasts with its real life counterpart 😊)

Also, if the lightning had messed with the Avatar State some other way, like by blocking his chi for example, he shouldn’t be able to bend properly either.

So what could’ve caused his problem with the Avatar State? 

Of course! After Katara saved him, Aang became even more focused on gaining her love, and grew even more attached to her than he’d been before! Of course he can’t enter the Avatar State! 

Now, I’m a Zutara shipper all the way, and this would work much better if that had been canon, but this could work even with a Kataang endgame since, as I said before, Aang kind of become obsessed with the idea of making Katara “his” no matter what, a clear earthly attachment, instead of loving her unselfishly and letting her love him in her way:

Notice that he said “we kissed” even though he kissed her, and then “I thought we were gonna be together”, an assumption he made without asking her anything once. Same as in this scene:

Mastering the Avatar State doesn’t mean not loving anyone romantically, as we can clearly see through Avatar Roku’s example (also the “if you want power abandon your loved ones” message is stupid and I don’t like it at all. This would be better imo)

Even during the process for unlocking the chakras, the Fourth Chakra tells us that finding love isn’t contrary to spirituality, and can even be a source of spiritual strength. However, I’ve always thought it was a bit strange that the “new love” Aang found to fill the hole left by the deaths of his people was.... just Katara

Because what Aang lost was essentially all of his family and friends right? So wouldn’t it have made more sense for Aang to envision Sokka, Toph, Appa and Momo as well? You know, his old family vs. his new family?

I didn’t fully understand what exactly was wrong with it until I read some of tumblr user marsreds’ metas on the matter, and I have to agree with them that it seems Aang was sort of focusing on his love for Katara so much partially as a way to cope with the loss of his people. To keep it out of mind. That’s not how you build a wholesome romantic relationship, and it doesn’t seem like the best way to deal with grief either. No wonder his Seventh Chakra was blocked.

I would’ve loved to see Aang realize at the moment of truth that in order to access the Avatar State he simply had to let Katara go enough so that he could love her selflessly, so that her wants and needs, and the needs of the world, could come first. He needed to become able to accept her answer, whatever it was, when she gave it. He needed to come to understand that his happiness wasn’t completely (or even mostly) dependent on getting into a relationship with Katara. He had a family he’d found all on his own, made up of friends who adored him and who would’ve given their lives for him if necessary. He was not alone in the world any more. Even if she told him no, he would in all likelihood find new love and be happy.

(in fact we have proof and there’s a perfect candidate right there in the Fire Nation but I digress)

The rest of the finale could’ve played out exactly the same as canon, and in the end Aang would’ve had a better understanding of himself and some inner peace. They could’ve also given us an inkling that Aang would later get to mourn over the deaths of his people properly, surrounded by his loved ones (maybe, ideally, in a hypothetical Book 4-AIR?. God, I wish)

I’ve seen some posts about Aang letting go of his attachment to the Air Nomad’s teachings instead (with maybe that very decision to put the needs of the world above his own being what unlocks his Seventh Chakra), and those are magnificent ideas as well, but I myself would’ve preferred if it went this way because I think there’s something beautifully poetic and satisfying about Aang staying true to himself, finding an alternate solution to violence that would still protect the world, and using the wisdom of His People to put an end to the very war that caused their destruction, while simultaneously giving the worst possible punishment to a man as power-hungry as Ozai

...and leaving him the same way he’s left many of the Fire Nation’s victims in the past: trapped, powerless and forgotten.

I also feel like this ties up all the loose ends better, since it was his attachment to Katara specifically which stopped him from mastering the Avatar State in the first place. And, Kataang endgame or not, it would’ve sent a wonderful message about building and maintaining healthy relationships, perfect for the show’s target audience of preteen and teenage kids.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 5 Thoughts Part 2

Part 1 is here.

5x14:

- I thought there was a musical performance coming up but nope. I can do with cleaning up a beach instead. I like it. And they’re sorting the trash as they pick it up? That’s actually super thoughtful. They have their moments.

- Icy and Tritannus are disgusting. And not because they’re cute and I hate cute like Stormy does. It’s because they’re cringy.

- So is Tritannus just gonna have Daphne floating around after him until the end of the season?

- Sooooo... there’s a throne that can give you ultimate power over the whole dimension and it’s just chilling there in the middle of the Infinite Ocean? That seems incredibly illogical and stupid to me. Who has access to the Infinite Ocean again? I know Sirenix got cursed but that was about 20 years ago. What was going on before that? Surely, Daphne couldn’t have been the only Sirenix fairy. And what if one of the fairies with Sirenix decided to just sit on the throne and take the power? This is just... an incredibly stupid and undeveloped concept even by Winx’ standards.

- Again, I have no idea why Daphne warned him at all. Just let the curse make everyone’s jobs easier and get rid of him. (I thought only the Trix had Sirenix, though, because he doesn’t look different after he got it and him being drained by the throne seems to support the idea that his powers are all coming from the pollution he consumes.) Also, how very convenient for him that there is a singular cell right there next to the Emperor’s Throne. ‘Cause any part of this makes any sense.

- Okay, they just vanished matter again. And yeah, we’ve established there is no logic to that but maybe it would have been a better idea to have all that trash recycled? So that it could have been used again? That would have been more eco friendly as it saves resources.

- Aww, poor Stella! Yes, the dress of carrots was definitely too impractical to be worn on a daily basis and also a potential hazard if it draws animals to you but I still feel bad for her. At least she was trying to do something good. And if she adapts her strategy a little and uses some magic she could really succeed in her mission and make clothing more ecological. I have a feeling that they are only writing her making horrible designs on purpose to give the appearance of some arc for her character. We all know season 1-3 Stella would have done so much better with her designs.

- Okay, Brandon did not handle that talk at all but I appreciate the fact that he was honest at the very least instead of just saying what Stella wants to hear from him. It was certainly hard for both of them but that is how relationships should be - honest.

- Yes, they just rationalized that all the garbage might draw in Tritannus but the moment they see a purple tornado it doesn’t click that that is Stormy. Because purple tornadoes are totally natural on Earth.

- The Trix look even worse in the 2D style while Winx look somewhat better than they do in 3D.

- Seriously, tell me how Winx are gonna defeat that tornado. Stormy could probably tear apart the whole planet with the power she’s packing here. And Tritannus, Icy and Darcy haven’t even lifted a finger yet.

- Yeah, it took all six of Winx to handle only Stormy’s powers so the evil group will just leave. It’s not like they appear stronger and probably have chances to win this.

- Love how everyone’s observation skills are going through a meltdown.

- Tritannus is ruthless and I have to say that I love that. I’m sick of the villains just leaving Winx alone without doing all the damage they possibly could just because the plot needs it to be so. Even here he could have made the mutants attack them and he didn’t but at least he used them as leverage so it’s better.

- Layla’s reaction was a little over the top in the Infinite Ocean but I am glad that they are showing her to be so upset about her relatives even though it’s extended family. We don’t see enough familial relationships on Winx.

- Please, tell me Tritannus will get the power of the Throne. Otherwise, they shoved all the nonsense surrounding it in here for nothing. And that will be a bigger challenge for Winx.

5x15:

- Love how in season 3 every Winx girl had a different swimming technique but now they are all swimming in the same way.

- Where is this problem coming out of all of a sudden? Stella had no issue firing at Tritannus in the previous episode. They’re just doing it to manufacture drama because otherwise, she would have the power to save her father from the beginning of the episode and they wouldn’t have an episode.

- They gave Layla a sword. Good. Best decision they’ve made all season.

- Love that Darcy and Stormy are thinking about what their role is here.

- Who thought the selkies could protect anything? They can’t even protect themselves.

- I love that they showed a couple of worlds but we only really saw the effect of the eclipse on Andros and Solaria.

- Radius has never been that much of an asshole (not that we’ve seen that much of him). He seems totally out of character here and I hate to admit that there is some logic to him being ruled by pride since he is legit standing in for the sun. I love the fact that both Stella and Luna were super worried about him, though, and instantly came to help.

- Omg, their hair changing colors is so not necessary or relevant rn. Wish they would just leave it alone.

- Layla roasting Tritannus that he’s letting Icy do all his fighting was absolute peak! I’m here for it!

- Okay, so there was literally no reason why Stella’s light didn’t work at the beginning of the episode but did at the end and it only made her seem more self-centered if anything because she only really put her will into fighting once she was directly affected. Not @ the way this season is not pulling off the emotional arcs at all.

- Wow, okay. Icy sacrificing herself for Tritannus was just... unexpected. Winx weren’t prepared either. I am glad that at least he had the decency to be mad that she’s hurt and appreciate what she did for him.

- Aww, Luna is absolutely precious and I love her already!

- Couldn’t have Bloom used her fire to the same effect that Stella used her light? And Layla could have totally used her morphix to cover them and make sure they won’t be hit. They didn’t just have to stand there and be useless.

5x16:

- Why did I hear Layla say pillow instead of pillar? I think I might need to go to bed (it’s like 5am).

- Nature kick? Nature KICK???????? They gave Flora an attack that’s inherently violent? What the hell were they thinking? That has never been her style so why start now?

- “I’d do anything for you, Tritannus.” Yes, including abandoning your sisters. Nice one, Icy!

- I knew it that the two mutants Layla freed would be Nereus and Tressa. No way can we have any adults here.

- It’s interesting that convergence didn’t work. There’s an intriguing implication in that somewhere but it’s too late to unpack it now.... Okay, now that I am awake (and have watched the rest of the episodes), let’s see what I get out of this. The Pillar needed light which is something tangible and physical unlike the other two Pillars so the convergence didn’t work because Stella is the only one whose powers are about light. I like the implication here and they could have done something interesting with it, not to mention implement some rules when it comes to convergence at the very least.

- Stella just singlehandedly powered all the suns in the Magic Dimension. That is the most powerful thing we have seen anyone do on this show. I love her so much!

- Aww, I feel so bad for Stella! I am crying over here. And seriously, why is Radius being so prickly here? He wasn’t like that in season 3. Stella was even ready to let them ignore her if it would mean that they could also ignore the budding argument. This is hurting her so much and it’s hurting me as well!

- Aww, Kiko really wanted to cheer Stella up so badly! He’s adorable.

- Was Erendor the one suggesting that they unite their powers? Wow, I am just shocked. Also, kinda amused that Faragonda managed to make them all shut up even though they are all more “important” than she is.

- So why is Diaspro on Eraklyon? She was supposed to be banished. But no, we need more stupid drama. I see that Erendor at least is back to his prickliness. And yes, I totally have to agree with Samara that he just made an awful mistake. Giving Diaspro the authority to speak in his name is a rash and reckless decision in general. After she mind controlled Sky? Absolute madness,

- Wizgiz looks so weird without his hat.

- What is so hard to figure out about the “fight fire with fire” expression? But they did a pretty good job regardless.

- Of course, there is Diaspro drama even when she and Sky don’t have any kind of personal relations anymore. But still, I don’t think Bloom should be so affected by it because she was told it was for his royal duties. (and since the meeting is held on Domino, she could totally be there as well) It is frustrating but it’s still better than what has happened with Diaspro before.

5x17:

- Omg, Daphne is pushing herself to her limits in the name of saving everyone. Meanwhile, what does she get in return? Tortured by both Stormy and Tritannus, vaguely ignored by her sister and the show won’t even let her parents show concern for her (not that they can save her now that she is in the Infinite Ocean but they could have tried in 5x13).

- Why is Kiko sleeping so far off the ground? That is dangerous. He could roll off the pillow in his sleep and fall... Or Bloom could send him flying through the room when she tosses in her sleep. Poor bunny.

- Eye of Inspiration? Wow, okay.

- Weren’t there four pillars? Why only three seals? And Pillar of Control and Pillar of Balance? What the hell? Light is at least tangible. But control and balance? What the hell?

- I can’t believe that Icy would turn on Darcy and Stormy because of a guy. This is so stupid and I hate it.

- When are the selkies going to learn that they are useless and the best idea would be to hide and go look for someone who actually stands a chance against Tritannus?

- The moon thing was some serious level of bullshit. Like, I get that it looks all fairytale-y and magic-y and shit but when you look at it from a logical point of view, it’s just a fucking mess. You’re telling me that just looking down at the well releases some magic? What the hell? Even if you take their Sirenix into account, this is still weird. (The room made of water was cool, though). Oh, and a map of the Infinite Ocean. How convenient. Because Alfea has all the answers.

- Wow, Mike and Vanessa are actually gonna clean that whole trash island up? I am in awe of their determination.

- Okay, so where the hell are the fairies of Earth? It would make sense for them to take action against Tritannus. He is hurting the planet directly and is also a major threat that needs to be dealt with. They should have been involved now that their kingdom was reinstated.

- Well, Stella is still feisty even when she’s sleep deprived. Also, I see they have no problem using their Sirenix powers now. I am so sick of them using convergence, though. Wish they’d do something more creative.

- I honestly wish Tritannus will get rid of the selkies permanently because they are that annoying.

- Seriously? Tritannus knows that they can follow him in the Infinite Ocean but he just... thought they wouldn’t find him? He should know better by now. And Layla was weird too because they know where he will be going. They can find him. Also, another convergence? Come. On!

5x18:

- What took Tritannus so long to show up? He was right there with the Trix. I do like the critique on Icy’s long hair that this was. Like, girl is aesthetic as hell but long hair could def be very dangerous.

- I am actually on Icy and Tritannus’ side here because the selkies are boring me to tears.

- Here’s an idea for you - instead of Daphne sacrificing every last bit of strength and vitality she has, maybe the Winx could figure something out on their own for a change.

- Ugh, the ugly dresses again. Classic, my ass. Ungodly hideous suits it better.

- Really not @ the way Marion’s throne is smaller than Oritel’s. Like, Erendor and Samara’s thrones were the same size but you’re telling me that Marion and Oritel’s are different implying that he has more power? Yeah, no. Fuck that idea. I like the third throne, though. What a shame Daphne isn’t there to fill her rightful place.

- I am so sick of the Diaspro drama that they are shoving in this even now.

- Oh, look! Roy is also there. How else are we gonna know that he is a Big DealTM? You know? Obviously someone that Layla should date.

- See, Marion is even the one leading this whole assembly. Though, my guess is that that would be because the union is her idea and Oritel agreed (probably a little begrudgingly). Of course, everyone else has to be a royal and prideful idiot about this. (I guess it was Theredor in 5x16 that suggested that they unite and not Erendor which would definitely make more sense). But yes, Winx are facing the consequences of what happens when everyone has a vote and you need consensus. Nothing gets fucking done. For once it actually looks plausible that Winx are more effective than any of the adults because they make up their minds quickly. Usually to a common stupid idea but they are certainly doing better than all the royals at this assembly.

- If the dragon is totally untamed, how is Codatorta riding it? This does not make sense to me. And I thought they would be learning strategy.

- Not @ the way Radius was being condescending to Stella. But I like the fact that she got through to him. She is gonna be a precious queen!

- I have to side with Diaspro because Bloom and Sky literally thought it to be a good idea to just leave the assembly and go deal with their teenage romance bullshit. Fucking responsible adults you are. Oh, yeah, sure. When she’s actually needed, she can’t leave all of a sudden and she’ll let the others do everything.

- Well, Winx are recklessly courageous, I will give them that. I hate how instantly they need their lessons, though. They learn something and it comes in handy the same day. What if something had happened, and they hadn’t had the lesson? They would be toast. Honestly, the levels of convenience because they don’t trust the audience to remember what happened in the episodes before that is just insane. It would have been better to have a couple of episodes between learning a skill and having to use it.

- Oh, wow! They noticed the pollution? I can’t believe it! Finally! This episode is actually treating me better. If they’d let the selkies become snacks and let Bloom take some responsibility, it would have been good. Now it isn’t half bad.

- This makes zero sense because Erendor and Oritel aka Eraklyon and Domino did have an alliance against the Ancestral Witches. And considering Erendor feeling guilty for betraying that alliance, it would make sense for him to join this one to fix his mistake back then or at least not repeat it. Only possible explanation for his behavior that I can think of is that Eraklyon is actually in a crisis and their defenses are in pretty bad shape so he doesn’t want the others to know that. But that still leaves them defenseless against a potential attack. This is stupid. I mean, his pride is obviously an explanation in and of itself but it is also the definition of stupid.

5x19:

- Why is Erendor so dense? If they defend the Pillars, Tritannus will be easier to beat without the power he will get if he destroys the Pillars. It is a simple deduction.

- Aww! This scene with Riven and Musa is so adorable! He was actually enjoying the music so much and Musa opened up about her mother. That was actually precious.

- Wow, they really tried hard to tie the balance thing to the sea and to music.

- Oh, man! Please, tell me Riven didn’t just run away like that because he got uncomfortable with emotions... Oh, wait! I get it now. He is planning a surprise for her and needs the help of this other girl, I believe it is the same one whose guitar playing skills he was admiring when Musa got all jealous for no fucking reason whatsoever. And they are making stupid drama again.

- Oh, come on! I have to stand Bloom and Sky stupid drama as well on top of the other one?!?!?! I hate this. Also, when will Bloom understand that she can’t be the center of Sky’s universe. She may not care about her royal duties but he was at least raised with some sense of responsibility towards his title. And what does Bloom do? Use her title to rub Diaspro’s nose in her victory on the Sky matter and then she just starts weeping over Sky wanting to talk to his father instead of dealing with the more important shit!

- You’d think that those Pillars would be better protected considering how fucking important they are. Also, aren’t the writers tired of making innocent mermaids on Andros suffer?

- They’re actually making a plan? And it’s a decent one? I can’t believe it!

- At least Tritannus goes back for Icy every time. Not that that’s gonna last but if she’s gonna ditch Darcy and Stormy, it’d better be worth it at least a little.

- Loved Bloom’s magical punch but the slow mo of Layla’s kick really does it a big disservice.

- Why did he throw his trident? That was idiotic. Layla going up in his face so that he could grab it back was also idiotic as hell so I guess they are equally stupid to balance each other out. Could have just blasted him with the trident and get it over with but noooooo. They have to make dumb choices.

- O. M. G! Darcy and Stormy got the whales? That was... so fucking AWESOME!!!! I was worried that them disappearing would actually fuck them over because Tritannus would get mad at them but they actually come back with the whales? Epic. Also, this makes me think that they are at least partially responsible for the chaos going on because Musa said it is the whales that keep the balance and Darcy just hypnotized them. I am so proud of my girl! *happy sob* Her powers really are just so badass in this season.

5x20:

- Seriously? This episode is titled “The Problems of Love” because of all the Sky and Bloom bullshit that will be in it (possibly Riven and Musa and even Tritannus and Icy as well)? Because THAT is the most important thing going on now.

- Okay, so Icy isn’t impressed by what Stormy and Darcy did for her? Girl, you need to wake the fuck up. I do love the energy of Darcy and Stormy just being evil sisters together and fucking shit up, though.

- So why did the rest of Winx not go to the Pillar while Musa was dealing with the whales? Also, didn’t they try the convergence on the Pillar of Light? It didn’t work. Why do they think it will work now? Oh, it actually did. Of course. Because balance. THE SYMBOLISM IS STRONG.

- Really not a fan of the way they have chopped the episodes in favor of suspense instead of in favor of every episode having a completed mini arc.

- Okay, so Musa is mature enough to know that bringing her mother back from the dead will mess with the natural flow of things but she can’t trust Riven just a tad bit more.

- So did Stella and Brandon make up? Last time we saw anything about them Stella said she hated them which she obviously didn’t mean but still. That was just left hanging there.

- Can they all leave Tecna alone? She and Timmy are happy with the way things are. If it works for them, then that’s the only thing that matters. And Musa projecting her relationship drama onto Tecna was just the worst. Glad at least Tecna trusts Timmy implicitly.

- Okay, so did Diaspro think this through? Of course, she didn’t. Once Sky learns what she’s done, she will probably get in trouble. I say probably because Erendor is kinda on her side here so it’s not all that certain. But in any case, she will make Sky resent her more. So still not a good idea.

- Bloom doesn’t have patience to wait for a minute. She knows Sky is busy and has a lot of things to do. She could just calm down a little and not expect him to respond to her every summons.

- Oh, my god! She really thinks that she is more important than a royal meeting. You are fucking yourself over and I wouldn’t give a damn if your stupid relationship drama wasn’t 50% of this godforsaken show.

- Sky should turn his phone off and Bloom should just get some fucking perspective. I know she’s used to being the center of the world but she needs to get her priorities straight as well. She should be looking for Daphne instead of being a fucking idiot over there. They know about the Emperor’s Throne. And if they have a map of the Infinite Ocean, they should know where it is. Just go there and confront Tritannus instead of waiting for him to keep stealing seals! How hard can it be? But of course, you need to have your head in the game, not in your bullshit relationship.

- My god, even ethereal beings like the guardians of Sirenix were dragged into this shit. At least that gave effect. And Bloom admitted she is the problem. I can’t believe it! Actual character development. Of course, I don’t expect it to stick until the next episode so it won’t matter but still.

- Umm... the wind should be carrying the pollen away from the flowers. It can’t carry pollen to them if the pollen comes from them. The wind can only carry it away. That is basically the idea of pollen. To get carried away.

- Omg, I am so tired of Stella’s interest in fashion fucking everything up. They’re making her incompetent and ignorant of everything else on purpose. Also, why can’t they fly? That was just out of nowhere.

5x21:

- They each have a special Sirenix spell? Was that concept introduced before or did it just show up now? I don’t think they’d said anything about that, though it would have been nice in the episode where Stella was having issues but later found the way to fix the Pillar of Light.

- I just wish they would leave Tecna and Timmy alone. Besides, they don’t have to go on a “real” and “romantic” date in order to be face to face. They can just chill on the couch and talk about what THEY want.

- Did Helia just tell Timmy to “man up”? You know what would be “manning up”? Getting over your egoistical impulses to meddle in everyone’s lives because you think you know best. At least Riven is being honest.

- What happened to just being yourself? Tecna and Timmy are already into each other for who they are. They don’t need all of this not so good dating advice.

- Wow, Daphne is going for desperate measures here but she is making sense at the very least.

- I am getting second hand embarrassment over Tecna and Timmy’s date. Poor guys. They just need to be themselves.

- Well, they succeeded with the destruction of the seal. I would love to see Tritannus’ reaction as well.

- Aww, at least Tecna and Timmy got to have a good end to their disastrous date.

5x22:

- I am so sick of Tritannus and Icy always repeating that they’ll be the emperor and empress once the Throne is complete. We get it, okay? No need to say it over and over again. I have a feeling they’re only doing that because they don’t actually have anything else to talk about.

- Omg, I thought this shit with Crystal and Helia was over. How much longer? Why is this even happening? I am so exasperated rn. At least Crystal is not like Diaspro. Even though the show tried to strongly suggest the similarity between them.

- Can they stop jumping to conclusions? Like, Flora legit saw Helia interact with Crystal for three seconds and it wasn’t him that threw himself at her. Flora is always trying to be polite so she should think that it’s possible that Helia is doing the same. Also, love how her insecurity stems from doubts in herself but that will never be resolved ever because no one gets proper arcs anymore.

- How is the king’s decision rational? It’s bullshit.

- Why the hell would droids function better in cold weather. How does that make sense?

- It would have been more interesting if Tritannus had destroyed the whole Pillar and they had to rebuild it from scratch. That might have needed more than convergence to fix and would have been a better challenge.

- Really? They have to fight the droids? That is the most predictable, most boring scenario that they could have come up with. Also, why isn’t there secondary defense against the droids? Like, just in case. No technology is infallible.

- I am confused. Is Tecna the princess of Zenith or not? Why does the king know her specifically if she’s not? Is it because she’s the guardian fairy of the planet? That could have been so much more interesting to see than any of this. A political discussion between him and the fairy that guards the whole planet. More worldbuilding.

- At least he changed his mind. I was hoping that would be the result of the mess with the droids.

- Aww, Tecna wished for Zenithians to feel empathy and connection! That is so precious. She has grown so much. Actually, this season hasn’t treated Tecna half bad. There were some golden opportunities that were missed but I actually like most of what they did do.

- Seriously? Sky sent a request for Bloom and she was still bitching about it? Honestly, that invitation for a diplomatic meeting could have been a cute thing where they get to both solve the issue with Eraklyon not wanting to join the alliance and their relationship drama. But no.

- I love Darcy and Stormy as a dynamic duo even if it pains me that Icy is treating them like that. But there is always place for her once she gets her mind back because she’s currently lost it.

5x23:

- I thought Politea was gonna be the plot of the third movie. But they’re bringing her in now? I am not sure I like this.

- Tritannus getting beaten down is a sight for sore eyes.

- Okay, I love this cute Bloom and Stella moment. Even if I am still not a fan of how they are giving Stella trouble with her designs because we all know that she is super good at what she does.

- Orrrrr... they could just use their Believix transformations and the Tracix wings to see the past. Though, those did seem to work only for the current location you’re at. And no past transformation is ever brought back.

- Why does Politea look like a brunette Bloom? Can they stop trying to make more of her? One is more than enough. Also, if Politea is a nymph as well, why does she look so plain compared to Daphne? We get it that Bloom and her whole family (and her whole planet) are all oh so special but this is ridiculous.

- Why the fuck did Politea refuse to help? If the Witches stole the power of the Infinite Ocean, she couldn’t get it for herself. Also, this is a blatant contradiction to everything we’ve been shown in the previous seasons. The witches grabbed Daphne and cursed her right after she opened the portal that sent Bloom to Earth, not in some battle for the Infinite Ocean.

- Didn’t Daphne say that Politea’s Sirenix turned evil because she turned evil? What the hell? And why would she turn into a monster when Daphne lost her body?????? I hate this.

- Oh, so Bloom’s going it alone now? Nice way to say she doesn’t think her friends can handle it because they aren’t as powerful as her. Wasn’t it exactly the fact that Politea refused to help Daphne that allegedly fucked them both over? Bloom should know better.

- Really? Icy didn’t dodge that? There’s a shitton of space in that underwater cave. She could have escaped in any direction. But no, she has to be dumb and get kicked. Lemme guess, Bloom went alone so that it could be a one on one against Icy and the writers could pretend there was any tension because that obviously wouldn’t have been the case if the rest of Winx were also there.

- So Politea just disappeared because that makes sense. Not like she’s a separate human being that was not formed by her Sirenix powers. And Darcy and Stormy are completely fine even though they absorbed an allegedly cursed Sirenix. And no one bothered finishing off Bloom just to make sure she would actually get finished off. How very convenient.

- Both Radius and Luna were at the assembly at Domino. Now they’re acting like 3-year-olds. I hate this so much. I can see why Stella is so done with their fighting. But I am so proud of her for talking to them and actually telling them how their behavior makes her feel. That was pretty mature of her. If only they could take her example and do the same and actually talk instead of just snapping at each other.

- Oh, and the teachers are at the fashion show as well? That’s cool.

- It’s actually cool that Stella didn’t wish her parents to get back together. She could have but that wouldn’t have been right since they don’t want that. Her wish is still a little questionable because their understanding of each other is not entirely their doing but, on the other hand, she wished that they would just listen to each other. Not necessarily agree. So I think it is actually okay.

- Awwww! It’s so cute from the rest of Winx to model Stella’s clothes!

- Lmaooo, Wizgiz is killing me in this episode. It’s cute how excited he is, though.

- I am so proud of Stella for what she said to (and about) Brandon. Now THAT was really mature of her. I loved it!

- Omg, Riven wrote a whole song for Musa! I knew that he would have a really cool surprise for her. Honestly, she doesn’t appreciate him as much as she should (when he’s not a jerk and he hasn’t been this season).

- But why is Roy with the Specialists? He’s not a part of their team. Please, stop acting like he has any place in this friend group. He’s an outsider and he’s never made any meaningful connections with any of them.

5x24:

- Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Dolphins are so precious!

- So Erendor did join the alliance at last? Not that they can agree on much still but at least they took the first step. Not @ the way the show keeps implying that Earth is the only planet that has pollution. And why did Flora decide to be dramatic before speaking?

- Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! The dolphins! Someone needs to stop him! He’s gonna destroy the precious dolphins!

- They actually made a joint decision? And Erendor fired Diaspro? Wow. WOW! I stan this episode. I just hope it won’t disappoint by the end. Oh, and here’s a prediction - Flora will earn her Sirenix wish this ep. Or Layla. But I think it will be Flora. (Bloom’s obv gonna be last.)

- Uggggh... Did a giant praying mantis just appear behind Stella and Layla? Why? Please no. (But that only makes me lean more in favor of Flora being the one to earn her wish this ep.)

- Oh, there’s more of them. I feel like all the “kick” spells of Sirenix were made specifically for the purpose of this episode.

- These shields couldn’t be any smaller. Sirenix spells are kinda lame, not gonna lie. Harmonix was much better in that regard (and more aesthetic even if impractical).

- Oh, yes. Don’t hurt the enormous bugs. The spell that is supposed to restore damaged environments will erase them out of existence instead. How is that better and why is Flora okay with it if she didn’t want the animals hurt?

- Is there anyone else in that task force besides the Specialists and the droids? You’re telling me that those are the only resources that the Magic Dimension can spare on the fight with what is currently the biggest threat to their existence? This is ridiculous.

- Luna can control the second sun of Solaria? I love that. I love her!

- So... Roy wasn’t even in danger. That’s so lame. I could have been on board with Layla saving him. And it would have been a nice parallel to their first meeting. Also, we have never seen them interact in order to care about any potential feelings between them. This is not how you make a relationship.

- Of course, Flora wouldn’t wish anything that tells us something new about her character. At this point nature and caring about it is the only personality trait she has (oh, and her doubts about her relationship with Helia). We can’t have anything else about her. Here’s something she could have wished for - that her sister can only ever die of natural death which could a) bring up the fact that she has a sister again and b) imply that she is still not over the fact that Miele almost died on her watch.

5x25:

- Omg, where is this sudden uncertainty about Helia coming from? Even though Crystal is not trying to take him from her. I wish this had been better set up at the very least. It could have been a great arc but we can’t have that, of course.

- Alfea has to be at least three times as big to host all the facilities we’ve seen it have in this season alone. I mean, come on!

- So now the mirror is a magical shoe designer? At least Stella’s wish to be with her parents was cute. But you’re telling me that all Layla wants right now is to dance with Roy? I call bullshit on that. She had zero time to recover from losing Nabu and I am so mad over this new “romance” being shoved at her out of the blue.

- Flora and Helia aren’t even gonna talk about this? Because the magical mirror solved the problem by showing what’s in her heart? I should have known this was going to happen.

- And why did Icy offer Layla instead of any of the other Winx? Because Layla has to be the strongest considering the nature of her powers aka she will be the hardest to capture. Though, it makes sense that the strongest will be the best fit to activate the Throne.

- So how did Nereus and Tressa go into the Infinite Ocean? Tritannus couldn’t before he stole Daphne’s Sirenix powers. So how did they manage without Sirenix?

- Why is Stella the one asking how to get rid of the mutants without hurting them when she was the one who managed to do exactly that in a previous episode? But, of course, they have forgotten all about previous episodes. Continuity? Don’t know her.

- How is the Breath of the Ocean summoning all the selkies? It was supposed to restore damaged environments. Now it suddenly has more functions because, of course, it does. It would be too much to want of them to figure out something else.

- Yes, I can see how they aren’t hurting the mutants. Not like knocking them out and possibly giving them concussions is hurting them. How could you think that?

- Oh, so Flora also has a “nature punch”? Are you kidding me?

- I see. They gave them all “punches” to compliment the “kicks” they already had. How very creative.

- You’d think that a prince would have been taught basic battle strategy and wouldn’t just turn his back on the enemy. But... obvious plot device to make Layla blow up and defeat Tritannus is obvious.

- Wow, they had to threaten Layla with losing someone else she cares about so that she couldn’t bring Nabu back to life and they could keep going with their stupid new romantic interest bullshit.

- AND Tritannus stole her power? Can Layla catch a break here? Also, why aren’t the rest of Winx following Bloom to go help Layla as well?

5x26:

- Wait, wait, wait! Are you telling me that the selkies knew where the Throne was this whole time?!?!?!?! AND they didn’t lead Winx there even though it was obvious that was where Tritannus was? Because “we’re almost there” implies that Bloom’s selkie knows the way to the Throne. So why, pray tell, are they only going there now and didn’t use that to fight him before?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! You know, when he still didn’t have everything he needed to activate the Throne?

- Did Tritannus get possessed by the power or something? This change in attitude is completely weird and really pissing me off because they could have actually done something decent with Icy and Tritannus’ relationship and the way it ended but they did not put a single thought in it. Anyway, I am glad Icy is back to her senses.

- Well, Musa looked like she was aiming at Roy which I wouldn’t mind all that much if it hadn’t been the middle of an important battle for which they needed him. But her magic waves didn’t affect him even though he was directly in their way so whatever.

- Now the whole palace is submerged. RIP to all the servants in there that didn’t have a tower to hide in and the Winx to save them.

- I actually love the idea of Winx interacting with the parents of the other Winx. It’s cute.

- Okay, but why is destroying the trident gonna render him powerless? He literally grew in size when he received the power of the Throne which means that it has to be in his body so taking away the trident shouldn’t work. Smh.

- Man, what a lame way to get rid of all the villains and their minions. Very anti climatic. And they didn’t even need the rest of Winx there. So what was this bullshit that they needed Sirenix to defeat him when that barely played any part in his downfall? If anything, it was what let him get the power to activate the Throne. (We all know they could have fixed the pillars even with Harmonix.)

- The gate of Oblivion? Hey, why did no one toss Valtor in there? Or the Trix for that matter?

- So Bloom didn’t actually wish to get Daphne back but to remove the Sirenix curse? Not that there’s much difference since the curse only ever seemed to have worked on Daphne (and Politea that just vanished in thin air).

- I’ll take Daphne’s comment about Bloom being the best little sister in the whole universe as her being emotional over the fact that she was brought back to life. It took Bloom so long to figure out that there was something wrong with her and then even longer to save her. In fact, she didn’t even look as concerned with Daphne’s situation as she was with her own romantic drama so I am not buying that she is so good at being a little sister. Besides, we all know that Miele is the best little sister.

- Aww, I really love that shot of Bloom and her whole family group hugging. And I especially love the fact that Mike and Vanessa are also there!

Oh, I have to write some sort of conclusion now? I was pretty clear on my feelings about this season so I don’t think there’s much to say. Only a few final words to the season itself - I dub thee The Season of Missed Opportunities. Also, love how Musa didn’t even get to use her Sirenix wish. Guess she didn’t please fate enough... even though she was mature enough to know that wishing her dead mother back was not the way she should use her wish. I call bullshit on that (and yes, this is my closing statement).

[kinetic-elaboration]

June 17: 1x23 The Omega Glory

Watched the very uneven episode “The Omega Glory” today. Upon some reflection.. I think I have seen it? But I think my last rewatch ended abruptly after “By Any Other Name” so it might have been some time ago.

Anyway, it was... something. Decent, I might even say good, until the last 10-15 minutes and then it just went off a cliff? That’s how I’d summarize it.

Sulu, my beloved. I’ve missed you.

Kirk knows where all the ships are. I mean, obviously, but I love to hear it.

Phasers on heavy stun huh?

It’s so weird to be on a different ship. That looks like the same ship. It’s so empty and haunted looking.

With creepy crystal remains of bodies everywhere.

“These white crystals... are the crew.”

Something was thirsty!! Perhaps... a water vampire? Perhaps... a former McCoy girlfriend?

(Honestly having watched the whole ep...they could have expanded this intro longer. It was creepy and mysterious. Then cut the last act.)

Oh no, they’ve been infected and now must quarantine. Sort of. I guess.

...Oh no, is this Vietnam? Again?

“Our old enemy, Vietnam.”

My mother suggested the disease might be communism and I don’t think that metaphor tracks through the whole episode but you know what.. anything’s possible.

I don’t like this whole “you can’t leave the planet or you’ll get sick and die” thing. Too familiar.

"I may never be able to leave this planet but I have a worse problem: a colleague may be breaking a rule."

Says the man who has frequently violated a directive that has never been referred to as Prime before.

Kirk is getting very mumbly. That’s his serious voice.... bu it’s also his Denny Crane voice lol.

Like bio warfare in the 90s? TOS really thought the 90s was going to be the dark ages, didn’t it?

Only 90s kids remember...

Spock bursting in with a wounded man, just bringing the drama, as he does.

He’s not even listening to McCoy. Rude.

Spock absolutely 100% would have killed Captain Tracey on instinct as soon as Kirk is threatened.

Sulu’s in command? I love Captain Sulu but where is Scotty?

Kirk is so good. Clever, strong, smart. Knows all the regulations.

Tracey’s so dumb. “They’ve eradicated disease and live for hundreds of years!” Man, have you considered that they are...aliens? And their life spans are simply.... naturally longer than human life spans? And even if you could isolate the serum, it might not work on humans?

And his master plan is to isolate their immunity and bottle it for profit. It’s our old enemy... capitalism and the exploitation of intellectual property.

A fight scene!

“The pointy-eared one stays.”

Another fight scene!

Spock is watching all of this, and you know what, I feel like he’s not upset about it. It’s just like Pre-Reform Vulcan. Perhaps some... Amok Time flashbacks? “Damn, I wish that was me.”

Peanut gallery Spock.

“I wish you could teach me that.” / “I have tried.” Omg where is my scene of Spock trying to teach Kirk the nerve pinch?

And then that look Kirk gives him.

I don’t get the point of this scene but it amuses me that as soon as McCoy sees the pretty girl, he feels better.

A post-apocalyptic alien world... a very interesting concept. Like you could do a lot with that idea imo.

“That’s our worship word [freedom too.” Umm.... questionable.

Damn bitch, that was cold. Just knocking him out like that.

Damn yankee.

...Yankee and Communist dammit.

McCoy’s not even surprised to see Kirk and Spock out of jail.

Nature created a natural counterbalance to the biological disease. Where is OUR natural counterbalance, I ask?

McCoy sounds extra Southern rn. It’s all the stress.

I really don’t think Shatner gets enough credit for his subtlety. His face when McCoy explains the whole situation...

Oh he's mad now. "You've hurt Spock for nothing! Oh yeah and also killed thousands but MOSTLY THE SPOCK THING!”

Whereas Tracey really doesn’t seem to care about anything but war for its own sake. He knows now that his master plan for immortality was nothing the whole time...but he still needs to call those Yangs.

In other words, another once-reputable figure of authority now gone mad.

Kirk’s voice is so casual when he’s talking to Uhura and Sulu, you feel like he’s gotta have something up his sleeve. He can never hide when he’s really upset about something.

...Apparently what he had up his sleeve was his crew knowing regulations and then another full body tackle. Fight scene 3!

"My need for attention is vital.” Same, Spock.

This is a very attenuated and unbelievable connection Kirk is making but he’s Kirk so I’ll assume it makes sense that he’s putting it all together so fast.

Alternate Universe: Vietnam canon-divergence lol.

For anyone keeping track, this is right about the point where the episode goes off the rails.

YOU’RE A ROMANTIC, JIM. Well he’s right about that at least and he should say it.

Oh no, an American flag.

Cloud William, chief and the son of chiefs. That’s continuity of government for you.

(Also pretty hilarious that this society is supposedly So American with our exact flag and Constitution and everything... but they’re not a democracy.)

I really don’t want to believe that “under God” is still in the pledge 200 years from now.

"You're confusing the stars with heaven." Kirk thinks he's being called an angel.

The absolute mishmash of meaningless, referent-free words here. America. Native Americans. Communists. The flag, the Constitution. God. Angels. Devils. What???

Like how can they both be flag worshippers AND...believers in God? Who is their God? Alien George Washington?

So rude to call Spock Kirk’s “servant.” That’s his space husband!

Is that a literal picture of Spock as a demon in their.. Bible?

I can’t even follow this anymore.

“You command him.” I mean...yes, that’s how the military works.

“He has no heart.” Wow, rude.

“His heart is different!” I stan one (1) Southern Doctor.

I feel like Spock is just... not having this at all. His face loos like he’s thinking what I’m thinking.

Oh no is that the CONSTITUTION??!

“Kill his servant” wow Tracey is obsessed with Spock, isn’t he? I guess everyone in the Fleet knows about them and their special relationship.

Spock is even amused by the knife at his throat. His eyes say "I am distressed--but fascinated!"

A FOURTH fight scene? And here I thought Kirk was going to recite the Constitution.

“I’m open to suggestions.” He’s just as worried about Kirk as McCoy is, bu the doesn’t show it.

...Yep, he’s being telepathic again. Not really in line with his usual telepathy but okay. Alien magic is flexible.

Okay I have a JD and I can confidently say there is nothing about good defeating evil in the Constitution.

And now this alien guy is immediately ready to make himself a “slave.” That seems problematic. What happened to the holy word “Freedom”?

Wow, Kirk's in a bad mood. "You can't pronounce your own holy words worth shit."

“This is only for the eyes of a Chief,” he says and Kirk just pushes him away.

Spock literally turns Tracey around for Kirk’s big final speech like “Listen up, bitch, my boyfriend’s talking.”

Is this the 4th of July episode?? Feels like there should be canons and fireworks going off behind him rn.

Idk, the words of the Constitution can't be so unique and unprecedented if a WHOLE OTHER ALIEN CIVILIZATION just came up with them, too, on their own, like monkeys typing Hamlet. (Given the timelines here... they probably did it first too lol.)

"Liberty and freedom need to be more than just words." Like what does that even mean in this context? Sounds nice but it’s very hard to put into the context of all the rest of this.

“And uh be nice to the Kohms,” after most of them (?) were probably just killed.

I really was into this until the last 10-15 minutes and I think there were under-explored concepts that could have taken the fever dream of whatever that bizarre-o fever dream at the end was. The abandoned ship. The leftovers of bio warfare. The whole weird and under-explained concept of immunity. The tragedy that so much was destroyed,, including but not limited to the whole Exeter crew, for no reason. What happened to Tracey to so destroy him--was it just greed? What about the “Prime” Directive? Is it important or not. They just leave at the end after (as Spock pointed out) doing quite a bit of their own meddling, even though meddling is allegedly the worst. Also, we know almost nothing about the Kohms at all. The “American” society clearly wasn’t democratic. Were the Kohms literally Communist?

I’m willing to accept a certain degree of alternate Earth scenarios--like Miri (though imo that was not a necessary component of that story) or Bread and Circuses, but this was too much. TOO unbelievable. And frankly unnecessary. You could do an allegory for alternate-Vietnam, and it would be just as clear but even more effective. There wouldn’t be any distraction in the form of “what the fuck is that flag doing here?”

There is a potentially incendiary concept here, which is the same one I thought of reading about actual COG plans--certain aspects of the Yanks’ culture survives, but with absolutely no meaning attached. They have a Constitution but they mispronounce all the words. They have this tattered flag but it has no other meaning. They’ve turned the symbols of the government into a religion, but they don’t practice any of the civil aspects of it--they have chiefs, not democratically appointed leaders, for example. Like, COG asks “what IS the country, and how do you make sure the country endures no matter what?” This was an opportunity to show the worst of that: the country continues to exist as symbology only--incredibly strong symbology, but only that--and all of the actual values that were supposed to be stored with that symbology have disappeared. Similarly, their hatred of their enemies endures. It’s lauded in the ep as their attempt to get “their land” back but what if it’s just war for its own sake, as Tracey seems to be engaging in? To tell that story, especially in the 60s, against the backdrop of Vietnam, and with the references to bio warfare and nuclear warfare, could be powerful. And I know TOS can work in metaphor and comparison. It doesn’t need to bring out a literal fucking flag.

Honestly, it was like they had one good, classic, sci fi story but it didn't fill 52 minutes so they tacked on the American Pride 4th of July Propaganda Extravaganza at the end.

It really felt like the lesson was “America good” lol.

I liked the concept of the post apocalyptic society in the aftermath of bio warfare as a cautionary tale for 1960s America, and I'd be up for crazed snake oil salesman Starfleet Captain (or...whatever his rank was) if it were a bit better explained. But the rest of it....

It also... could have been kinda incendiary with the idea that the Constitution and flag are religious symbols... I mean some people do treat them that way and I've always found that, first, blasphemous, and second, bizarre in such a hyper-Christian country. But I feel like instead of digging ito that, they just tempered it with "But also they're Christian, as you can tell by their drawing of devil!Spock, for some reason."

Idk, this story could have been complete with out the whole weird “Vietnam AU” back story or alternately it could have been a biting commentary about what defines America, and about whether or not our symbols might be more enduring--or even more important to people today??--than the laudable but more complex and difficult ideals that underpin the country’s founding. Are the words of the Constitution just gobbledy gook? They are if you don’t live by them, and America has always struggled to do that. It definitely would struggle even more in the aftermath of an apocalypse.

...I’m more annoyed now, thinking about the possible sci fi story that could have been...

Anyway next is an ep I’m fairly sure I haven’t  seen, so that should be fun.

[minhomas-tmr]

The Lies I Tell Myself - Chapter 4

The plane ride was short but too much turbulence if anyone wanted Minho’s true opinion. Also the landing was terrible…

Bad flying or not, Thomas slept through it all, hair fluffed up cutely as he leaned on his side. Unknown to him, Minho at some point lifted the armrest between their seats, so Thomas ended up curled against Minho instead.

Seeing more than one person smiling as they passed them, had him soak up the misunderstanding since an actual relationship with Thomas would probably never happen. It was good to know however, that they were convincible enough to pass as a couple.

Minho understood where they were coming from though. Thomas hardly slept these days between homework and his family meeting Minho—so Thomas being adorable and snuggling in to get comfortable?

God help him, he had it bad. — “Ugh, how could you not tell me they were passing snacks, huh?”

“Shut your whining and grab the baggage would you?” Minho suppressed an eye-roll. “When we get to the hotel, I’ll call room service, okay?”

“Is that allowed?” Thomas asked as they followed signs for the exit.

“Yeah it’s all paid for. The to-be-family rich or something?”

“Hefty trust fund,” Thomas muttered unhappily. “It was a requirement for her,”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah, I know right?”

“No, I mean the car they sent to pick us up,” Minho pointed to the BMW with Thomas’ name on the plaque their driver was holding. “You sure she dislikes you?”

“She’s bragging.” Thomas insisted. “I’m only here because mom wanted me to be remember? Uhh…what are you doing?”

“Surely you know the concept of opening a door for someone else?” Minho couldn’t suppress the eye roll this time and gently pushed Thomas in when he just stood by it. As the driver started the car, he leaned in to peck Thomas softly on the cheek and thread his fingers through Thomas’.

He pretended not to notice his fake boyfriend’s face turn tomato-red. — “Not bad…” Thomas walked into their suite. “He must be really rich or something, if everyone’s rooms look like this…” When he turned to Minho, he was greeted with an annoyed look. “What??”

“You’re being ridiculous. She took sides sure but maybe, dunno maybe she’s trying to buy your love? Rich or no, only visiting family would get this royal treatment,”

“Maybe the fiancée suggested it?” Thomas offered.

“Quite possibly,” Minho smiled and weirdly that made Thomas relax, but there sure didn’t last, “Looks like we’ll have to order room service when we get back. I’ve laid out your clothes here by the way…”

Thomas grabbed the clothes and dashed to the washroom to change into his blazer outfit. He was acting like an idiot right now, but he would act 100% more idiotic if he had to watch Minho change.

By the time he was done, Minho was ready. Was there anything he didn’t look good in? Minho gave him a quick once over, “You look exactly like I thought you would,” he smirked.

“Fuckable?” Thomas blushed.

“Decent, clean and polite more like,” his flatmate approached him, casually fixing Thomas’ hair and he let it go on until he grew suspicious that Minho was teasing him now.

“If you want to touch me so much, you don’t have to only do it here remember? I’m your boyfriend. Or even…we don’t have to go to the brunch right? We can just stay in and get room service...”

“Now what kind of boyfriend would I be if I gave into all your demands?”

Thomas turned to him, “A good one!”

“You’re lucky you’re white and cute, Thomas.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, you’re precious,” Minho pecked Thomas on his lips sweetly and turned around before he realized what he just did. Composing his face, Minho turned back around to Thomas staring at him wide eyed.

“Test run?” Thomas offered timidly.

Minho took it with both hands and ran with it. “Already feels natural doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,”

“Yeah.” Minho echoed. Shit.

“You look too fuckable for a welcome brunch,” Thomas swiftly changed subjects to a moderately safer one.

“Devour-a-ble would you say?” Minho’s sass was back.

“You’re lucky you’re hot! Because your jokes are seriously terrible.” Thomas eyed Minho’s lips, debated giving him a peck to continue the joke but he wasn’t that brave.

Or rather he was afraid he might not stop. “Which reminds me,” he said out loud, “brunch is tame. Maybe hold hands but no kissing?”

“Why? Forgot your lessons already? You want a refresher?” Minho teased.

“Unfortunately we don’t have the time…” Thomas sighed, “That would have been wayy more fun than having to see Teresa and the poor bastard marrying her. I don’t know if I should congratulate him or apologize,”

“Would kissing you shut you up?”

“Try it,” the words were out of his mouth before he even registered it. Minho had a calculative look in his eyes but turned away in the end, mumbling something about a watch.

Thomas mentally facepalmed. — Minho really did look devour-able and Thomas should have protested the outfit when he had the chance.

He couldn’t hide his smugness though, when as soon as he stepped out the car, Minho held his hand as they walked into the back gate of the venue, decorated in soft hues.

“So what’s the game plan?”

“Umm let’s see…Say hi to Teresa, make sure my mom does not talk to you, and get out right after we eat?”

“Wow Thomas. I didn’t know you were so keen on the promise of room service? Don’t know if they have flight snacks on the menu,” Minho laughed as Thomas pushed him away playfully. “And why keep me away from your mom? I’m great with people!”

“I know,” Thomas grumbled, threading his fingers with Minho’s absently. “That’s the problem. Everyone you meet manages to fall in love with you. My mom can’t fall victim to you too.”

“You’re making me sound like a serial killer,” Minho joked, “You fell victim too then?”

“I’m your boyfriend aren’t I?” Thomas rolled his eyes. They were still a little away from the crowd of guests.

Technically they didn’t have to put on their act yet, so when Minho paused for that millisecond, Thomas realized what he’d said. For once, he did a great job at convincingly pretending obliviousness. — People were looking at them. A lot. Thomas starting to feel self-conscious, leaned closer to Minho and gripped his hand tighter.

Though it didn’t show on his face, Minho bent down to whisper in Thomas’s ear, sounding worried, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas admitted softly.

Minho tilted his head up slightly caressing his cheek. “I’m here. I won’t leave you,” He had no idea how much those words meant to Thomas, the significance of them, the difference it made. He relaxed...he was safe.

Minho threaded their fingers once more and Thomas walked in with more confidence, pointing to people he knew and titbits about them.

But the one person he didn’t get an opportunity to point out, was suddenly in front of him. Thomas’ smile slipped and Minho picked on it immediately.

“Thomas.” Gally completely ignored Minho and something about that irked him but he’d be cordial.

“Gally.”

“You know when I heard you were bringing a boyfriend, I was a little disappointed. I thought we could mend things, you know? But knowing you...you move fast don’t you?”

Thomas saw the malicious glint in his eye, before he turned to Minho, “be careful about this one..the next pretty thing and he’s gone,”

“Is that so?” Minho replied mildly. “And who are you? Thomas never mentioned you. Friends of the groom? Speaking of..I’d like to meet him. Do you know where we can find him?”

“Uhh..”

Gally was thrown off and Thomas suppressed his smile. Minho could definitely be intimidating on first meet. He exuded confidence and admittedly Thomas had a different reaction to most, but it was there alright!

“Hm. I guess we can find him ourselves..Gully is it? Nice to meet you Gully,” he smiled, then turned to Thomas. — ‘Wait here, don’t talk to anybody’ was what Thomas had said, but seriously it wasn’t his fault that there were only two other asians apart from him, and both were from the Groom’s party.

Minho wasn’t even sure why Thomas had abandoned him and didn’t have much time to ponder before he was joined by a boy with curly brown hair and a perfectly round face.

“Hi there,” he frowned, “I don’t know you. Bride or Groom’s side?”

Minho was a bit taken aback by the directness at first, but shrugged, “Boyfriend of Bride’s side I suppose,”

“You suppose? And who is this boyfriend of yours?”

“Thomas Editton,” Minho smiled cheerfully. “I’m Minho by the way,”

“Chuck. So Thomas?”

“Yeah, he’s an awkward yet surprisingly charming individual.”

The boy was downright frowning now.“I don’t know about the charming part…”

“Oh so you know him?” Minho whispered conspiratorially. “We kind of started dating by the second week of college, so any embarrassing stories you can spare? He has so much ammo on me because my friends insist on sharing every fail in my life, and I sort of need some, see?”

“I see,” The chubby boy seemed to be warming up to him and Minho looked into his soft brown eyes, feeling a famil—oh shit. Of all the people to spot him first, it had to be one of Thomas’ relatives.

“Well he has a terrible sense of fashion?”

“Oh boy am I well aware,” Minho looked around for his ‘boyfriend’ and seemed to spot Thomas the same time he did Minho. A quick look at Minho’s current talking companion and Thomas’ shoulders relaxed.

“What was that about?”

“Wants me suppressing my serial killer instincts,” Minho said without thinking.

“An inside joke I assume?”

“An inside one, yeah,” Minho laughed, but his eyes softened as he watched Thomas make his way towards them. “He’s something special that one…”

Chuck eyed Minho, “You really do know him, huh?” Minho pursed his lips, not sure what to say. “Well, as disaapointed I was at Thomas keeping you a secret for so long, I’m happy for you guys. Just be patient with him, okay?”

“Every day’s a struggle,” Minho joked, but Chuck didn’t seem to be teasing, so he quietened down.

“Thomas..he’s been through a lot, see. Teresa never believed him which is why that stain is here,” Chuck muttered darkly, “I guess I don’t have to tell you, cause you already know about the cheating and blaming and the..that.”

Apparently it was so bad, Chuck didn’t even want to say the word. From the titbits of what Thomas shared and his jumpiness, Minho gathered Gally must have been abusive in some way. He felt terrible for all the times he’d been impatient with Thomas’ intimacy issues.

“Honestly I didn’t think Thomas would ever get over it. I didn’t think he’d be able to trust anyone so soon…So thank you,” Chuck smiled softly. Minho didn’t know what to say so he just smiled back.

Minho stayed chatting with Chuck until a middle-aged woman joined them. Minho didn’t know what to make of this, but the look on Chuck’s face made him suspicious.

“You must be Minho I suppose. So what’s your major again?”

Minho was a bit taken aback by the swift jump in topic but he replied, “Yes, ma’am. I’m majoring in Kinesiology, specifically sports related. I’m…a part of the Varsity Track team but also taking a Minor in Art History,”

“Must be a struggle to balance so many things at once. College. Parties.” Okay definitely some scrutinizing happening.

“It was a challenge at first, yes. A lot of trial and error,” Minho smiled sheepishly, “but Thomas has been a huge part of why I found my balance…”

“Interesting…” the woman hummed and before she could get another word out, Thomas appeared it seemed out of nowhere.

“Mother!”

Minho froze. Oh shit. Luckily Mrs. Editton and Chuck were now focusing on Thomas, so he had a moment to adjust his expression.

“I-I guess you’ve met Minho then,”

“Seeing as you were going to take forever to do so, I thought to take the initiative,” she smiled. Minho couldn’t decipher if it was said in good faith, but it was definitely a tense one. Thomas fidgeted, inching towards Minho until it practically looked like he was hiding behind him.

“Are you surprised though,” Minho pitched in, wanting to save his pretend-boyfriend, “In his own words, Thomas is an awkward butterfly,” Minho commented dryly.

“It’s still a turtle, Minho!” Thomas rolled his eyes at him.

“But turtles are so plain. Butterflies are pretty. Wouldn’t you rather be pretty?” Minho said with fondness. Thomas had no right being this cute.

“I-uh..” Thomas stuttered, “I’m getting a drink—“

Minho snagged Thomas’ current wine glass. “Yes, thank you for getting me one,” he smirked as Thomas looked like he was two seconds from fleeing, consequences be damned. “Shall we?”

Thomas grabbed Minho and practically dragged him away.

“Good news is, Chuck survived my deadly charm—“ Thomas rolled his eyes, “—bad news is, you’re mom knows because of the way you were acting.”

“Yeah, yeah, so I’m not the smoothest cat in this game,”

“No. You’re a turtle.”

“What about butterflies? I thought turtles were ugly?” God help him, Thomas was actually pouting.

“You’re the one that wanted to be a turtle so bad,” Minho shrugged, leading him to the bar. “Oh good! Open bar,”

“Well now I can explore other options too, right? Should I get a beer?”

“You hated the beers, threw them out remember? Try the rum. No, no you peasant. The golden rum.”

“Mount Gay? You’re not as funny as you think, Minho.”

“Gay used to mean happy,” Minho shook his head, faking disappointment, “Besides, its expensive. Get it with coke though. You’re a lightweight.”

“When did you get so observant?” Thomas frowned but ordered Minho’s recommendation anyways. Minho avoided his stare, looking around the spacious lawn of the golf-course they were at.

“I think I found the groom,” he held Thomas by the elbow to a short freckled man with a polite smile.

“We didn’t talk about drinks,” Thomas insisted.

“Hush,”

“I—“

“Hi. I’m Aris,” A man wearing a hat that’s sign said: ‘Groom-To-Be’ In Case U Weren’t Sure’ walked up to them. “You must be Thomas and Meen-ho. Did I get that right?” he asked Thomas’ very real boyfriend.

“Good attempt! More like Min..like minutes. And Ho..like Christmas I guess,” Minho dimpled as Aris smiled widely. “Thank you for the suite the way. It’s quite generous.”

“Oh please!” Aris waved it aside, “You’re visiting family and immediate cousins. I do truly appreciate having you here, Thomas. I’ve heard so much.”

“Congratulations on getting married. Well..about to,” Thomas stated awkwardly. “Knowing Teresa there’s a running theme?”

“Yeah. ‘Expensive looking’,” Aris laughed at some inside joke they weren’t privy to. “Teal and white with ‘hints of blue’” he imitated Teresa so well, Thomas laughed.

“Sounds like Teresa,” Thomas shook his head. “Did she show you her album?”

“What album?” Aris looked intrigued.

“You don’t know?” Thomas turned to Minho including him into the conversation so he wouldn’t feel left out. “Teresa’s been building her ideal wedding since she was a ten I think. I didn’t get it personally…but I thought she’d at least use *some* of it for her actual wedding?”

“Ohh that album. No that’s more of portfolio…I’m surprised she didn’t tell you. Teresa’s a wedding planner.”

“Oh.” There was an awkward pause and Thomas looked at Minho to save him.

“The venue’s gorgeous!” was the best thing Minho could come up with. It didn’t help.

“We’re not actually that close…she’s closer to my ex. That’s who she probably told,” Thomas hunched his shoulders inward and Minho reached for his hand, squeezing it in assurance; it gave him a boost, “Well, same town so it’s expected right?”

Aris gave them a calculated look, smile dropping a little. “So you’re Gally’s ex.” Aris looked across the lawn, “Best not tell her about the room then…”

“Yeah,” Thomas said softly. He knew it, he ju—

“I’m sorry. About what happened between you two. I’ve tried, but she’s too close to him, she doesn’t see it. I apologize on her behalf,” he offered. Thomas was shocked.

“I like you, man!” Minho slapped Aris on the shoulder, grinning.

“Oh thank God, approval means sooo much to me! “You won’t believe how many people mentioned I’m shorter than her—like I don’t have eyes!” Aris was laughing now.

“I hear you dude. I may be the Varsity Captain but everyone needs that.”

“You’re a Captain? Urgh didn’t need to know that. If I saw a picture of you before, I would have said no because you’re upstaging everyone here!”

“Thanks for saying that,” Minho smirked, “Assurance is always good,”

“Doubtful my ass! He knows he’s hot,” Thomas interjected.

Minho slid an arm around Thomas’ waist and leaned in to kiss his cheek. He kept doing that—he kept being so sweet and it was muddling Thomas’ head.

Was it real? Was anything they did real? Did it matter? He had Minho here with him, right? Minho was his boyfriend right now, so he was allowed to do boyfriend things. Making up his mind, Thomas leaned against Minho’s front, grabbed his hand and zoned out of the conversation.

Minho would cover for him. — “Are you serious?” Minho’s disbelief broke Thomas out of his daze. He looked up at his boyfriend, then followed his line of sight, his own jaw dropping.

“What—“

“You try telling Teresa, dressing up like a fairy at the welcome brunch is a bad idea,” Aris didn’t even turn around, “She’s lucky I love her.”

Thomas snorted, he couldn’t help it. “You’re good for her,” he mentioned, when Aris turned towards him inquiringly.

Aris nodded and then a mischievous glint appeared and Thomas sensed trouble, “So when are you two getting married?”

“Wha—“ Thomas was speechless. Were they that good? At pulling this off? Why would—

“Hey, I mean bringing your boyfriend to any type of family gathering, but a wedding especially. I mean. That’s serious.”

Thomas felt faint.

“Woah, woah slow down,” Minho cut in. “Do you know how long it took Thomas to even decide to bring me along? He made three pros and cons lists! Three.”

“The first one was messy, I could barely read my own writing. So it doesn’t count,” Thomas pouted. This actually happened. He had after all freaked out after telling his mom he had a date.

“That’s because you’re writing is like chicken scratch,” Minho rolled his eyes. “Hey where’s your drink?”

“I forgot it somewhere. And no.” Thomas pointed to Aris. He held up his index finger. “Education first. Parents, second,” he pointed to Minho. “Family chemistry, third. Then fourth, marriage. Right babe?” Thomas looked up at Minho who opened his mouth but no words came out.

Aris looked between them and snickered. “Maybe ease off on the drinks, okay Thomas?”

“I think he’s tired from our trip,” Minho found his voice again. He smiled apologetically as Thomas nodded along. “Is it okay if we leave early?”

“Yeah, no worries.” Aris waved him off with a grin, “Just be there tomorrow.”

“I went through a painful process of getting us outfits for your events, trust me we won’t miss it,” Minho assured him, leading Thomas away. Thomas was clingy all through the car ride but the moment they stepped into the elevator he sighed.

“Thank God!! It was so boring. Two times she could have approached us and instead re-routed!”

“Rerouted..really, Thomas? What are you, a directions app?” Minho said as the elevator dinged, signalling their floor.

“You know what I mean!! And did you hear what he said? That if he’d seen a picture of you, he would have said no.”

“It was a joke,” Minho shook his head, swiping the key card.

“No. He stressed Minho. She protested me coming…” Thomas sighed. “What am I even doing here?”

“Showing off. That’s what you’re doing here.” Thomas glanced at him just in time to see Minho take off his jacket, walking towards him. “You’re here to show that the past is the past. That it hasn’t slowed you down.”

Thomas’ heart was hammering against his ribcage, Minho was so close. Decently close, not crowding close but his back was against the door and he had a crush on this guy, he was allowed to feel..whatever.

“You’ve upgraded.” Minho continued. “That you’re happy. You are, aren’t you? At college. With me?” Thomas gave a small nod, still not looking directly at Minho. “Shall we order your precious airplane snack cravings now?”

“I’m never living that down, am I?” Thomas sighed.

“What kind of a boyfriend would I be to just let it go,” Minho laughed.

“A GOOD one!!!”

— A/N: Hullo Lovelies!! Happy Happy New Year!! This chapter has been on my mind for forever and I’m glad I was able to finally complete it. it became a 3,500+ monster, so I’m stopping this chapter here for now, but moooore shenanigans ahead!! Like hmm..sharing a bed?

[itsclydebitches]

Why do you like Lore Olympus? I'm genuinely curious because I've seen a lot of harsh criticisms toward the comic, from its inaccuracies regarding its use of Greek Mythology to the plethora of harmful queer stereotypes. I tried reading it myself but honestly, if you took out all the Greek Mythology references and naming, it just seems like another "far older man courts a barely adult woman" love story with bad queer rep thrown it.

Happy to explain! Let’s tackle what’s perhaps the most complicated aspect first. 

As a former Classics major I can tell you that there is no “Greek Mythology.” Meaning, there is no singular Greek Mythology that can be referenced and consulted in any uniform way. Which is a really difficult thing to conceptualize in an age of print publications and careful record keeping. Unsure about whether Harry ever cursed Draco with such-and-such hex? Re-read the Harry Potter books to find out. Want to claim that Sherlock was horrible to Watson and frequently insulted him? We can comb through Doyle’s shorts stories and novels, tally every insult, and find out. These are canons and, as messy as the term “canonical” has become with more adaptations and transmedia storytelling, most characters have a set, fixed existence that we can return to and use as evidence. Not so with Greek Mythology. Born of oral storytelling, there are a hundred different versions of every myth, some changes more stark than others. Some of those versions were written down. Then written down again (differently). Then written down again (differently still). Then we realized they were almost all being written down by men and huh, I wonder if that has any impact on how they framed the story (spoiler: it absolutely does). And all of this doesn’t even take into account the issue of translation. Regardless of what Ovid may have put down on the page, you’re going to get a different experience depending on whether you read Melville or Gregory. There’s a reason why everyone was so excited over Emily Wilson being the first woman to translate The Odyssey into English. Her perspective and her experience as a woman by default changes the way she approaches the text. Even something as simple as a single description can have a HUGE impact depending on how it is translated. Take this excerpt from a NYT article: 

“The prefix poly,” Wilson said, laughing, “means ‘many’ or ‘multiple.’ Tropos means ‘turn.’ ‘Many’ or ‘multiple’ could suggest that he [Odysseus] is much turned, as if he is the one who has been put in the situation of having been to Troy, and back, and all around, gods and goddesses and monsters turning him off the straight course that, ideally, he’d like to be on. Or, it could be that he’s this untrustworthy kind of guy who is always going to get out of any situation by turning it to his advantage. It could be that he’s the turner.”

Is Odysseus a poor victim turned around by monsters and fate, or is he a schemer capable of turning it all to his advantage? It all depends on how it’s translated and whoever wants to make a case for Odysseus being a “good” or “bad” guy can point to this translation as evidence… or another. Or another. There are just too many versions for anyone to definitely say what these gods and others are “really” like. 

I put so much emphasis on this because the biggest criticism I’ve seen leveled against the comic is the characterization of Apollo. He would never rape Persephone! How dare you twist his character like that! Except Apollo isn’t a character that exists in a fixed canon. He belongs to an overwhelming corpus of complicated, contrary, contrasting myths… and yes, in some of those he raped. Arguably. It, again, comes down to translation and interpretation. Take this excerpt from Nancy Rabinowitz’s paper “Greek Tragedy: A Rape Culture?” 

Creusa, raped by Apollo years ago, conceived a child and abandoned him… For the purposes of this paper, I have to address the question of whether Creusa was in fact raped by the god. Hermes mixes the terminology in the prologue; he asserts that the god Apollo “yoked the daughter of Erechtheus in marriage (γάμοις)”, but he also says “by force (βίᾳ)” (10-11). Ion later (1524-25; cf. 341, 325) wonders whether Creusa was really raped, or whether she was just alleging that the god took her by violence to cover up an indiscretion of her own – a similar situation could be imagined in our own day, where false allegations may arise from young girls’ fear of confessing consensual relations to their parents. Lefkowitz argues that women tend to cooperate in their seduction by a god. While it might seem obvious that Ion is simply wrong, there is the further implication that though Apollo raped Creusa, she also desired him” (11-12). 

So if we’re looking for evidence that Smythe’s interpretation of Apollo is the “correct” one, it exists… depending on what you read and how you choose to interpret it: whether a mortal woman can ever truly give consent due to the power difference between her and a god, whether it was safe to say no, whether she might have lied to protect herself, whether it was something a part of her desired but perhaps didn’t entirely want, etc. It’s that last bit in particular—those difficult questions—that Smythe explores in her comic. Persephone wants to explore her sexuality. She wants a way out of her virgin obligations. But she’s also pressured into sex by Apollo. He doesn’t stop when she expresses discomfort. She doesn’t feel safe asserting herself and telling him to stop. It’s rape, but it’s a far more complicated situation than the rape scenario of “Evil man forces himself on woman in the back of an alleyway” and Smythe treats the tragedy with nuance and respect, even in a comic filled with so much humor. 

The people I see most upset about Lore Olympus are those who talk about the gods and their associated mortals as if they’re characters out of a book. They read one version once—or maybe two—and, as is natural in the 21st century, decided that This Is How The Story Goes. Even though every academic would be losing their mind over such definitive statements as, “Such-and-Such would never do this.” That’s simply not how records this ancient, sporadic, political, and downright messy work. So as someone with some knowledge of how Greek Mythology functions, I’m not at all put off by the comics’ “inaccuracies.” Because they’re simply not inaccuracies, just interpretations. Not liking those interpretations is fine, but that doesn’t mean Smythe was wrong for providing them. 

As for the rest, I’ll try to limit myself to bullet points: 

The age difference between Persephone and Hades is definitely A Thing and I admittedly didn’t realize that was the case when I started reading. I assumed that Persephone, like most of the cast, was hundreds/thousands of years old and just had a child-like personality. I basically realized around the time Hades did that she’s so young. That being said, the issue of age differences changes for me once you reach such insane ages. That’s why I still ship Ozqrow: Ozpin is hundreds of years older than him but at that point he’s going to be older than everyone. Always. Limiting his ships to only those who are close to Ozpin’s age means you can’t ship him at all (unless you ship him with Salem post-grimm pool and… no). It’s a similar situation with Hades. Yes, there are plenty of gods his age that he could date (and indeed he does) but he is always going to be thousands of years older than Persephone. She can literally never catch up to him, so if someone has an issue with the age gap then they have to accept that it will simply never go away. They can never be a couple in which case yeah, then the comic just isn’t your thing. 

Really, I think the bigger issue is not the gap itself but Persephone’s age, period. Again though, I appreciate that Smythe treats the situation with a great deal of respect. This isn’t a story of a much older man hunting a younger woman. It’s the story of a much older god who, like me the reader, assumed he had fallen for a slightly younger goddess… and then freaked out when he found out he was wrong. He’s called out for his ignorance. Others are incredibly protective of Persephone. They both try to stay away from one another and find themselves struggling. Which, to be frank, is an interesting dilemma to me. And it’s one I’m more interested in with gods as characters as opposed to humans. Because it feels less predatory to me. A man going after a much younger woman is threatening in part because we’re mortals who have so much to lose, including our youth. If you enter an abusive relationship that alone is horrible enough, but it also means you’ve lost all those years and all that experience to toxicity. When a god goes after a much younger goddess… they’re kind of static. They have eternity stretching out before them. Persephone potentially “losing” ten years to a relationship with Hades just isn’t the same thing as a mortal losing ten years to a relationship of their own. Gods, though they seem quite human, simply aren’t and thus for me questions of morality and what’s ethical in any given situation changes. We have a cast who, when Eros gets upset and murders a whole bunch of humans, Zeus shrugs and says they’ll just make more. Their concept of right and wrong differs from ours and it invites the reader to apply that to every situation: is it as wrong for an older god to go after a 19yo goddess as it would be for an older man to go after a 19yo woman? Many readers may decide it is—to some extent the text decides it is—but the story still possesses ambiguity and invites the reader to grapple with it. That’s compelling. 

Connected to this, I like how much agency Persephone has throughout the series. She’s very much a character who defies expectations, particularly when it comes to her sexuality. Far from being a meek, vulnerable woman who is preyed on by Hades, she is making constant, active decisions about her own romantic and sexual encounters. Even if that decision is just acknowledging how unsure she still is: does she want to remain a virgin? Does she want Apollo? Does she want Hades? Is it okay to make out with Ares? Wear this very short dress? Get drunk? Explore a city? Invite this person over? Have feelings for your boss? Persephone is grappling with a lot of questions that don’t have easy answers and the fact that the story gives her the room to do that grappling is fantastic. I’ve spoken before about my dislike of the Strong Female Character—someone who is not just physically intimidating but who also never, EVER hesitates. She knows precisely what she wants and she’s going to take it! Which is a great portrayal of one kind of woman… but I’m not that kind. I hem and haw and am anxious like Persephone. So for me it’s refreshing to see a story that paints uncertainty as strength. She’s allowed the space to be unsure and confused and is never belittled for that. 

Honestly I’m not sure what the issue with the queer rep is? Beyond the fact that Lore Olympus doesn’t seem to have any (unless I’m forgetting some. Very possible). Which, admittedly, is far from great, but if I dismissed every story due solely to a lack of queer characters I would limit a lot of my potential media. So for me, personally, that’s not a deal breaker. Taking a stab in the dark, I’ll make an assumption that people are upset about certain characterizations like Eros? Which, fair. But we also have the flip side that effeminate, flamboyant men do exist. It’s another complicated, touchy subject, but there’s a fine line between enforcing stereotypes and acknowledging that those stereotypes often do arise out of something. Some people hate the media image of the queer kid decked out in rainbows. Other people look at their own wardrobe and backpack and go, “Actually… yeah. That can be accurate.” For me stereotypes are primarily an issue given their prevalence. It’s an issue when that’s the only way queer characters are portrayed, but Lore Olympus doesn’t have that problem because, again, it’s focused on het relationships. Eros might potentially be a (non-confirmed?) queer stereotype… or he’s a battle-hardened warrior who also likes to gush about gossip while baking, the sort of complex gender portrayal that people claim to want. It depend on how you approach it. So no, Lore Olympus isn’t breaking any ground with queer rep but, as said, I do appreciate how it treats sexual assault—among other sensitive, relevant issues. It’s a trade-off. No piece of media is going to be perfect. I could say the same thing about so many great stories. The Mandalorian doesn’t have any queer rep! No, it doesn’t, but it is giving us a fantastic story about a bounty-hunter turned dad that challenges a number of Western gender assumptions so… trade-off. 

I likewise enjoy that characters call one another out on shitty, toxic behavior without completely losing who those characters are. (Again, supposedly who they are based on the lecture I gave at the start lol). Meaning, it would be kind of weird if Zeus wasn’t a womanizer. That’s what we expect of him, so changing that would likewise change one of the most fundamental aspects of what makes Zeus-Zeus in the general public’s perception of him. But we still have scenes of Hera and others calling him out on that shit, so it’s a balance between modern sensibilities and character expectations. 

The characters overall are just wonderfully complex. Persephone doesn’t seem so at first glance, but that’s partly the point: she’s nothing like what everyone assumes she is and it’s those assumptions that she’s learning to push back against. But overall Smythe has a real knack for emphasizing the human (or god) complexity. We hate Eros for helping Aphrodite punish Persephone. Then we feel bad for him because of his sob story. Then we pull back because he’s called out for being a dick and making himself look like the victim. Then we come to the realization that his side of the story was still accurate in many ways and finally end on… he’s flawed. He’s just a flawed person. He’s not a saint. He’s not the devil. He’s a guy who screwed up one moment and did something good the next. Perhaps it’s just me coming out of the nonsense that was Volume 7 of RWBY, but it’s refreshing to read a story where that complexity is emphasized and (most) flaws are forgiven while still being acknowledged. 

Overall I just find it to be a fun, entertaining story! lol. The artwork is beautiful. The humor is great. There’s a nice balance between plot and introspection. There are issues with the series, sure, but none thus far have kept me from enjoying the experience of reading it. I fully support anyone’s right to go, “Nope. Not for me.” For any reason. But I also feel like Lore Olympus is a good example of Tumblr’s recent emphasis on pure media: it must be PERFECT. Otherwise chuck it in the bin. Lore Olympus does a lot of the things that people on this site call for. Respectful depictions of assault. Emphasis on mental health. Storytelling from a woman’s perspective. Numerous types of woman characters. Being careful about who engages with sensitive material and how (each chapter that contains such issues has a trigger warning at the start, impossible to miss). Lore Olympus does a lot right… and some things wrong. Which is what we would expect of any good story. So it feels disingenuous of me—if not outright dangerous—to paint it as worse than I actually think it is. I want media to continue to improve, but I also don’t want to scare off authors from even trying because they were raked across the coals for not creating perfection. Smythe, to my mind, is definitely trying and that should be acknowledged. 

[arcane-sync]

So this thought has been sitting on me today, so I'm going to try to put it into words. It's one of those things that was exceptionally hard for me to really get in my recovery, so if you dont want to deal with hard concepts right now, I suggest moving on. Its one of those things that makes sense, but it hurts to hear if you are used to functioning in a certain way.

Self hatred is not a form of gratitude or apology. If person A has done something nice like an act of service for person B, it makes the relationship incredibly difficult to navigate if they respond with "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, i cant believe I didnt do that already, I'm such an idiot, I'll do it next time i swear." Bonus points for difficulty if person B starts crying.

And like, I GET that reaction. Painfully so. That is a trauma reaction from abusive environments growing up, and I get it. I have reacted that way hundreds of times. I am so guilty of this that it hurts.

But person A was genuinely trying to do something nice for person B. There was no implicit guilt trip involved. It was probably more "I noticed you were struggling and stressing over getting this thing done, so I did it for you." Its an expression of love. They wanted to see person B relax and smile. Instead, they appear to have made everything worse. A thank you never happens.

An even harder situation is if person A notices person B is struggling to get something done (say struggling in with basic house chores like cleaning up after themself), so person A gently tries to address it with person B and person B implodes in self hatred. This is really important in people who live together, as someone failing to take care of themselves and living area can impact the person they're living with. Person A might be frustrated but is ultimately trying to help, trying to figure out whats wrong, trying to be supportive. Person B has most likely been acutely aware of the thing not getting done and is so buried in self hatred that they dont know what to do. No thank you is given for being willing to address the issue, no apology is ever given for the thing not getting done. Just panicked appeasing of person Bs implosion.

Trauma reactions are uneblievably difficult to conquer. But this is one worth focusing on. And im not trying to guilt anyone who does this. If you react this way, then chances are reading this is making you feel guilty inherently. Its OKAY to struggle. Its okay if trauma is eating you alive, choking your throat, and clouding your mind. I want to reiterate ITS OKAY and a PERFECTLY understandable reaction.

Whats not okay is never trying to fix it. For abandoning any idea of trying to fix it. This reaction can really strain relationships in even the most compassionate people. Especially long term.

Quite honestly speaking, this is probably why I had a really hard time keeping friendships for the first 20 years of my life. I burnt out the people around me. And I have slowly, very slowly learned to forgive myself for that. I was struggling from immense trauma, and things just sort of play out certain ways on the way to recovery. It doesnt make it okay. It doesnt mean I didnt hurt those friends. But I get it. I get that I was an exasperating person to deal with. I get that I had reacted violently so many times to the most gentle things that people became SCARED to help me, support me, do nice things for me, approach me at all. I get it. I have worked to fix it, and I have forgiven myself for the pain I caused. I have apologized to these people where I can. I have taken that anger directed at myself, and I have directed it at my abusers instead.

I am responsible for my own actions yes. 100% But I can also simultaneously recognize that my actions were heavily influenced by things that were done to me that I had no control over. I can be angry at my abusers, mourn the loss of those friendships, apologize for those actions, and work on myself all at the same time. Without hating myself.

I am still learning when to say thank you and when to say I'm sorry. Sometimes I still react violently, but rather than lay that reaction on the people around me, I have learned to calm down on my own, and THEN communicate what it was that upset me so. When I couldnt calm myself down and needed the other person to help, i have still waited to situate my thoughts first before talking to them about the problem.

Communicating through both rational and irrational thoughts and emotions is one of the hardest things to learn. And im still learning. But its WORTH working on, no matter how hard it is. The family you have made for yourself LOVES YOU. They wouldn't be there if they didnt. So dont give up on yourself, cause they havent either. I am learning to love myself enough to fix myself, if not FOR myself then for the people I love. And when I see someone else doing the same negative reaction over and over, I do my best to have both compassion for their struggle and support them AND compassion for myself enough to take care of myself.

[rem289]

Q: Why are you writing this post?

A: Because during the Christmas holidays I started to receive attention from the Zootopia fandom which led me to re-discover some concepts that I thought I had made clear, and since this didn’t turn out to be true, I am forced to reiterate them.

Q: What happened?

A: I discovered that someone had reposted, obviously without my consent, an old comic of Aoimotion and mine on reddit, a site I don't like and on which I had already said not to publish my actually and old contents. This repost "reminded" this fandom of my existence, and after this event some people came to ask us questions such as "when Nick and Judy would reappear in our work?" and the like.

You can imagine how much it bothered me, so I went to reddit and wrote to immediately delete the content. Unfortunately, doing this I couldn’t help but notice how the post had become a place to waste insinuations and insults aimed at me and Aoimotion. In particular, the comments of three users stood out: @ggctuk , @owningsuperset7​ and @hammytotherescue

Q: Why did these users get your attention?

A: ggctuk, which I have no idea who they are, have proclaimed themselves as the narrative voice of the events that have taken place between us and the fandom, providing a lot of incomplete and, in the worst case, completely wrong information, about why we left the fandom and about the alleged "abusive behaviors" we had against translators.

Owningsuperset7 spoke about us (like he does every time the occasion presents itself to him), defining us ungrateful towards the fandom "that had fed us". But "fed" in what sense? It seems to me that we have been those who have definitely "eaten" very little… or likes can be monetized, just like the views on youtube, and I didn't know it? Did they break the keyboard in order to put those likes on our works? If it’s so, I'm sorry, but I certainly wasn't the one who pointed the gun at their head to follow my work. Always remember that paying attention to a work is always and only a reader’s choice. No creator has power over these phenomena, we just create and publish, the rest is always an unknown factor. So expressing yourself as a seduced and abandoned lover on an old and free work doesn’t make you a victim, it only makes you ridiculous. Anyway, I know the subject, who had already decided in the past to talk on DeviantArt before I blocked him, and I decided not to tell him anything in that moment, also because, what can you say to a person who clearly has problems that go beyond fandom? Sometimes ignoring is the kindest choice you can make.

Hammytotherescue instead claimed that he and I were friends in the past, before the duo formed by me and aoimotion became toxic. Since I had no memory of this person and I hate when someone alludes to relationships with me that don't exist, I wrote to him privately on Tumblr asking him if he could kindly refresh my memory about this "friendship" he was bragging about.

Q: How did it end?

A: The conversation, which I report below because I, unlike him, have nothing to be ashamed of, is as follows:

As you can see, Hammy never replied to my last message . But in reality the story was not over. A few days ago, in fact, I discover that the user in question "vented" in the post of reddit, not under my comment (so that I received notification of his reply) but in response to another comment that had been left to me. Showing, as always, the incredible maturity of these people.

After reading this comment, I decided to act by reporting the user on reddit, but the answer I received can be summarized as: "since you are a content creator, you deserve insults regardless." In short, a response as useful and smart as the people who gave it to me. So don’t worry Hammy, you won't be banned from reddit because the only braincell shared by you users agrees that defining a toxic and manipulative person is, to quote one of the wise moderators I talked to, "a fairly typical level of criticism". All is well that ends well.

Q: You mentioned "concepts to reiterate". What would they be?

A: Let's start by denying what ggctuk wrote in that reddit's post, given how much popularity his comments have gained.

My split from this fandom started because I simply lost interest in Nick and Judy and preferred to do something else, something of my own. Black Jack gave us the opportunity to invent many original characters and they was those I wanted to work on. We have never worked for ulterior motives other than having fun together. When we recognized that we no longer have anything to give to this universe, we declared it openly and closed this chapter of our "artistic life". This split could take place in a peaceful and calm way, I would have taken my own path and you yours, since it was obvious, since BJ times, that you had very little interest in our original contents. You also reiterated this between the lines of these last comments, so really, I make a terrible effort to understand your logic of contents belonging to your fandom. It's not your fault, don't worry. You have been spoiled by this entrenched habit of creating any anthropomorphic animal and attributing it to your precious and super-nutritive fandom. Once you labeled this attitude at heresy, now everything is fine as long as it helps you keeping this universe going, honestly, I just pity you. However it seems that your obsession with me prevents you from accepting the fact that my life would have continued even without this fandom and that I would have lived very well even without the amount of likes that fanarts could give me. Indeed my life would be even more beautiful if I didn't have to waste time like I am doing now.

Both me and aoimotion together gave you a lot, and in the end we simply got it back. Jack is a prime example: yes, he is a character born from the scratches of Zootopia's artwork, but thanks to our work he has evolved to the point of becoming a completely original character. This fandom has not been able to accept it and until the end has tried to claim him as its own, and even now it can’t accept that we have instead taken him back, and even less can you bear that we are successfully using him in our original works, which is why you insist so much on his "Disney" origin, as if this defines his identity, and for months you have made fun of us saying that we were claiming something that belongs to Disney as our own. Unfortunately, beyond a doodle and a hint of a hypothetical background, Disney has absolutely nothing. Whatever weight you have attributed to "Jack Savage" is only thanks to our work, Disney has nothing to do with your mania and it has nothing to do with everything we've built up over the years. Still, you took our job and stuck it over the "Disney" label, and that was even when Black Jack was long gone, so don’t use that excuse anymore. You even tried to attribute Cynthia to the Disney universe by calling her "Skye", since you are so desperate to keep your fantasies going, and when you had nothing more to say, you said that my art style was "clearly inspired by Disney". Did you think I could condone such an attitude? I suppose these statements derive above all from the certainly very poor culture that you have of the world outside the fandom (or fandoms), however there are artists who WORKED for Disney, who TEACHED drawing techniques at the Disney Academy and who work at own productions with that style, without anyone attributing anything to the major. If you don't believe me, try using the web for something constructive, like doing some in-depth research on the subject.

As for the matter of our alleged abuses on translators, I will only say two things: the translations started because of my naivety, and we prohibited them because the translators abused their role and went out of control, acting as if the comics belonged to them and / or as if there was a special relationship of complicity between me and them. I'm sorry I gave false hopes to these people, unfortunately I didn't have time to realize the misunderstandings that were being created and how our work was being used. There is a clear difference between the fan content and the original content, so now more than even, less our work passes into the hands of others, the better it is for us.

Now let’s analyzing the brilliant messages of Hammy, both on Tumblr and on reddit:

In both cases, what I see is a desperate need to cling to Rem's "pretty" facade while simultaneously demolishing the person behind Aoimotion. These insinuations suggest that the only possible Rem to conceive for your narrow minds is the kind and lovely one, and everything I say and do that does not fall within this definition is the work of aoimotion.

I will never go into detail about the dynamics between me and her, because frankly it’s not your business and I don’t want to give you further ground to cultivate your absurd speculations and your degenerated ideas. If you have decided to treat us as two two-dimensional characters of some fourth category fan fiction born from your fragile minds and then feel disappointed or offended by my attitude or a severe response I can give you, you cannot help but blame yourself and not who is my friend .

But you have to get it into your heads that when you talk about us in a personal way, you refer only on the basis of two web profiles. You don't know us personally and above all you don't know me. Being an extremely reserved person, I always decided to use social networks to share my artistic side or my interests related to entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. "Rem289" has always been only a blog, a showcase on the web, I’ve never attributed a real emotional and above all personal value to it, even before Zootopia. For the rest I prefer to live my personal life off the web. Unfortunately, you have been so careless as to decide to hit my personal sphere, my friendships and my affections. So no, Aoi didn’t take over between you and me, but the person behind Rem289 took over and you paid the consequences.

Still on the subject of aoimotion, it seems that the moment this comment was written on DA has remained particularly impressed: https://www.deviantart.com/comments/1/765376682/4647911119

This great insult, which among other things is attributed to her as if I didn’t think the same (if not worse) about you, has become the new reason why aoimotion is ugly and bad and is the reason why she deserves to be insulted and disparaged at the slightest opportunity, even during a conversation with me in which she’s not involved in any way.

Now, since this term seems to me rather dated to be used as a matter of indignation during your debates, and since I still find it rather ”soft” to use to outline my intolerance towards you, in order to give you another thing to think over, I will give you an attribute which seems more correct to me: you are sick. Confronting you is like talking to someone who has been brainwashed. You are a broken record that always says the same things over and over again. I can't even feel sorry for you, what I feel is just a great sense of unease. (Of course there are people that still participate in this fandom and are perfectly normal, but those are exceptions and they already know we think good of them.)

And it’s precisely your illness that prompted me to dissociate myself so violently from the fandom. Not aoimotion, as you have been saying for months between an insult and another that you address to her because perhaps you are too afraid of me to address them directly to me, which is rather contradictory since I should be the sweet and pretty one of the duo. After all, it's better to treat me like a poor brainless fool who lets herself be manipulated rather than admit that I also have my own ideas and that, you don’t say, you don't like them.

Q: In any case, you have no right to deprive your fans of old content they love so much, you just want to be spiteful! Why did all your old WildeHopps comics disappear from the web?

A: The decision to delete the contents created by me relating to the fandom from my web platforms or those shared with my partner was not born in the least out of spite or "punishment" towards the members of the fandom. It was a decision made to dissociate my name and my current work from fandom, because unfortunately it created difficulties for my image and real difficulties for readers to understand (you can go on and say that if people think your work is still Zootopia-related is not a big deal, but I assure you it is). All that came after, are only and exclusively speculations built on purpose to find the most sinister reasons of why it happened. Publishing content is only an accessory part of the job itself, a percentage of the process. Deciding to publish, not publish or cancel a publication is at the pure expense of the author, and no consumer has the right to impose his will on the creator. I understand that they are perhaps too complex concepts for you, since it’s clear that you are used to measuring the value of things based on the likes they receive, but this current of thought also exists and I hope it will be useful to you someday, in the remote possibility that decide to take moments of deep reflection (which would be more and more useful than tapping your fingers on the keyboard).

(Little curiosity: in the last few weeks we have forwarded about twenty reports to various sites to remove our old contents posted there without our permission. Not only all twenty reports have been accepted, but the contents have all been removed in less than 12 hours from the date of reporting. This is to remind you that if we don’t want our content on the web, we have them removed and it’s the reposters who pay for it, not us.)

Q: Well, however you can't force us not to talk badly about you or aoimotion, in fact, you can't stop us from believing that she's been manipulating you for years. Almost certainly it’s she who is writing this post without your knowledge, isn't it?

A: The people of the web are notoriously lazy and are therefore often uninformed and constipated in developing their own concepts. They spit sentences without even knowing what they’re talking about, they choose "comfortable" truths, such as the fact of attributing to aoimotion every not nice word that comes from me, and when this phenomenon is reflected on real persons, unfortunately it’s quite difficult to manage.

We are attributed with labels, words, concepts, faults, relationships that don’t belong to us and that are difficult to get away from. A simple comment or a wrong statement towards a person can spread like wildfire and end up marking them for life. Needless to say, these conditions often prevent these same people from continuing with their activities, which instead are healthy, in a serene and peaceful way. Even now, instead of drawing, I’m writing this latest post to defend me and my partner from your sick slanders. Those who allow themselves the luxury of damaging the "active personalities" of the web are people who fully enjoy anonymity behind a screen, and often people who have the matter of regulating them (like the reddits moderators, who are a joke at best) limit themselves to considering certain behaviors "ordinary” in the creator / consumer relationship. The mere fact of normalizing certain behaviors doesn’t smooth out the rules of civilized life, makes these "authorities" complicit and therefore only adds a problem. It’s more than evident that some people are not yet able to distinguish the boundary that exists between objective opinion and direct and personal insult, but from people who lose sleep at night because they have been defined as “lunatic” I don’t expect anything less. Who knows what you will do now that I have called you sick.

I conclude with a message to the interested party:

@hammytotherescue​: I don't know how old you are, however, judging by what you write and how you write it and how you act, I deduce that you should not be more than 14-15 years old. Unfortunately I regret to tell you that the fact you are a minor doesn’t mean that you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions, and if you still have doubts about understanding where you have gone wrong I advise you to ask your parents for advice. I gave you the opportunity to confront me but you ran away to cry on a public platform. Hasn't anyone taught you that real life doesn't work like that? If, on the other hand, you are an adult, I sincerely feel sorry for you, I say this from the bottom of my heart.

I know how comfortable it is to hide behind a group or in this case a fandom to vent one's dislikes towards the individual. This time you and your friends have received the same treatment, you have not caught generic appellations addressed to the fandom but I decided to speak to you personally. My only advice is to use this experience to learn how it behaves on the web, and when you have learned it, you could teach it to all your friends, perhaps starting with @owningsuperset7​.

For @ggctuk: I hope you will appreciate my effort in writing this long post, as so the next time you talk about us again, you can use it as a reference to explain how things went 🤗