#I’m above the average and still did the Best I Could
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chipjrwibignaturals · 2 years ago
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EZCLAP BTW
its very funny to me i have a final starting in like. 5-10 minutes and the other ppl in the room are last-minute studying and comparing notes and prepping their one-allowed-sheet of carry in notes MEANWHILE my ass is just sitting there like
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fandom-fae · 2 years ago
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so tomorrow i have the second to last exam (its a verbal exam) before like graduating and like. i started studying only a few days ago bc i can‘t rly fail it anymore but suddenly for the first time ever i got ambitious about a math grade (or like. THE math grade) and i haven‘t done much other than studying today and my brain is fried and i don’t understand how anyone could ever possibly decide to study a lot out of their own free will more than once lol
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cobaltperun · 6 months ago
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Eternal Flame - Runaway Train
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Jenna Ortega x female Reader
Summary: For her it’s a passion, for you it’s an accident. And as she continues shining brighter and brighter with each role you are left mesmerized, drawn to her flame and cherishing every time she lets herself be vulnerable with you.
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Masterlist / Next part
Word count: 6.2k
-You were there like a slow torch burning, I was a key that could use a little turning-
“The world still sucks!” the shout woke you up, but your doors being slammed open made you jump to your feet from the couch. Somehow even in your confused state you managed to recognize the voice of your best friend and self-appointed back-up manager for your career that would soon be restarted. At least according to Barbara, the same girl that just burst through your front door like she owned the place.
“So does your ability to knock,” you complained, reaching up to fix your bed hair, just fixing whatever you could with your fingers. You ended up falling asleep on the couch while reading through some scripts Barbara managed to get for you. Asshole. Sending e-mails in your name.
You didn’t have to look at her to know she just rolled her eyes and sat down on your couch. Flipping through the script parts you received. “Don’t pretend you’re getting something from the kitchen!” she called you out on your habit the moment you went toward the kitchen, and you winced, sometimes hating how well she knew you. You still poured yourself a glass of apple juice. “At least bring me a glass too,” you winced again at that.
“If you can barge into my apartment, you can get it yourself,” you grumbled, still feeling sleepy. You should have made a coffee, or tea, or something that would wake you up. You went back to the couch and sat down next to Barbara, smirking slightly as she tried her best to glare at you. You even made a show out of slowly sipping on the apple juice, just to see her pout.
“Mean,” she complained and looked away. You had to admit it was a cute pout. Barbara was beautiful, you were more than aware of that. A bit above average in height, just over 5 foot 6, she had a beautiful face, striking blue eyes, and blonde hair as straight as she was, which was a 100%, not a single atom in her body was attracted to anyone that wasn’t a man.
“You love it, babe,” you still teased one another every now and then. Even if she wasn’t straight there was no way you could ever see her as anything but your best friend. The teasing was just there for light-hearted fun.
Barbara hummed and suddenly tried to grab your glass, only for you to lift it out of her reach. “You have no heart,” she sighed and gave up on drinking the apple juice unless she got up, and you knew her pride wouldn’t let her do it. “Did anything catch your eye?” she asked, pointing a finger at the scripts.
“I dunno. How did you even get this many scripts?” there were four scripts in total. There was one for psychological thriller that would require you to go to Italy, one for a superhero movie, one for a reboot of the Scream franchise and finally for a pilot episode for TV drama.
Barbara shrugged and patted you on the back. “The comeback of a child star that won several awards and was nominated for a bunch for her first and only role? You’d be surprised how effective that pitch is,” she laughed as you facepalmed.
“You… I’m not even going to say anything,” you sighed, glancing through the window. You weren’t sure how it happened, you just auditioned because it seemed fun and Barbara dared you to do it, and then you ended up getting the role, got the taste of the industry, the work and dedication it took and just figured you didn’t want to spend your childhood like that. But now, close to turning twenty, you figured you might give it a shot again. Even if you were still a bit reluctant to go back to that world.
It wasn’t the work, you could do it now. But now that it’s been several years since your movie came out in 2017 and even more years since you filmed it back in 2013 and 2014, you found it difficult to motivate yourself to give it a shot. After all, how do you follow the success of it?
You didn’t notice Barbara’s eyes softening. “You worry too much,” she pointed out nudged you lightly.
You couldn’t help but smile at that. “Yeah,” you went and picked up the script for Scream. “I think this should be fun, though going to Italy could be fun as well, and it’s a good story, dark, but good,” you narrowed it down to two choices and took your phone. You had some calls to make. Not before you went and brought a glass of apple juice for Barbara though.
~X~
The August heat in Los Angeles wasn’t something you liked experiencing, especially when you were already feeling quite nervous standing in front of the building where Radio Silence Production office was. ‘Get it together, you know how these go,’ you berated yourself, you had a successful movie behind you, granted, you weren’t the one responsible for the success. And you had your current job, if this failed you were perfectly comfortable with not being an actress.
Even if Barbara would get on your nerves for it for the rest of your life.
You took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, the role was actually perfect for you, as if written with you in mind. About as close to action as you figured most horror movies would get you, and your proficiency with martial arts was a huge bonus when combined with physically fitting the description of your character. You were a bit taller, but everything else fit well enough.
A bit too well in some ways. But first you needed to go through the chemistry testing with the actress they were considering for the role of Tara Carpenter, your love interest and the character around who the entire plot would revolve in some ways, since she was the sister of the main character and the victim of the first attack, setting everything in motion. Tara was to be the glue for the new main trio of her, her sister and your character, and from what you heard the actress, Jenna Ortega, already did an amazing job with the actress cast to play Sam Carpenter.
With another deep breath you went inside the building. The air conditioning immediately provided you with a much-needed relief as you made your way up the stairs, ignoring the elevator that was right there. A minute or two later you were in front of the office doors. You knocked twice and the door opened, revealing one of the directors of the movie, Matt.
“Come in, come in,” he certainly looked excited as he ushered you inside, you were ten minutes early, but it was clear you were the last one to arrive.
“Damn, should have gotten here earlier,” you rubbed the back of your neck uncomfortably, being the last to arrive, even if you did come here earlier than expected, was never fun.
“It’s all good, I was just telling Jenna about the scene the two of you will do together,” Matt motioned toward a beautiful girl that looked like she was one or maybe two years younger than you, dressed perfectly between casual and professional, and that seemed a bit familiar, but you couldn’t quite remember where you’ve seen her before.
You looked to the side as you tried to remember where you knew her from. She was sitting next to an older woman, you guessed mid or late forties, that looked a lot like her, so you assumed it was her mother.
“That’s a relief,” you approached the girl and offered your hand to her. “Y/N L/N, nice to meet you,” you smiled, too late realizing the mask hid your smile, as she stood up and accepted the handshake.
“I’m Jenna Ortega, pleasure to meet you too,” her handshake was firm, but even more than that, her voice finally made it click where you knew her from. They would really be dumb if they didn’t hire her, considering just how amazing she was in You season 2.
You nodded as Jenna sat down and offered your hand to the woman next to her as well. “Y/N.”
“Natalie, nice to meet you,” the woman nodded as well and you turned back to Jenna as you sat down on a chair to her left, with a seat between the two of you.
“You, right? Season 2?” you were about ninety nine percent sure you got it right. The emotional scene she had in the season was the highlight of it for you and it was mind blowing for you that she was basically still a child when she filmed it.
Her eyes widened and you winced, fearing you made her uncomfortable, but she recovered quickly and nodded. “Yes, thank you, I mean,” she buried her face in her hands. “God,” she whispered, clearly embarrassed.
“No, it’s all good, I was about to say you were great,” you tried, you really did, to salvage the first meeting, but when she still looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her to save her from embarrassment, you were kind of lost and unsure of what to do. Luckily, you were saved by Matt.
He faked a cough and gave you the scene you were meant to do with Jenna. It was one of the two scenes you did for your audition, the first being a bit of the action scene, just so they could be sure you were fit for the physical side of the role. As if working at the gym and teaching several martial arts classes wasn’t enough. “Jenna, Y/N, please move to the couch and the chair we set up, Jenna, you’re meant to start lying down, the relationship between your characters leans a lot on the touch, so do it as if you were filming the scene. Y/N, you’ve got water right behind you,” he instructed the two of you as you removed your masks and as if in an instant you saw a shift in Jenna, as if she was completely focused on the task, and nothing else mattered.
Matt, the other director Tyler, and several other people observed the two of you as you got into position.
“And action!” Tyler instructed you.
You sat, still, acting as if you were in deep thought, trying to get inside the mind of your character. It felt easy, natural, and you were reminded of just how much fun you had when acting before, and it felt so damn right to be doing it again. Even after all the time you spent resisting it once you had the chance to do it again it felt like all of that resistance vanished and you embraced the role. For your character the girl she was in love with just barely survived a vicious attack and she spent the last twelve hours sitting by the girl’s side, waiting for Tara to wake up,
Jenna groaned, and you jumped to your feet, but froze mid-step, your body filled with tension. You continued watching carefully as Jenna opened her eyes and as your eyes met you relaxed your posture.
She blinked a few times before she focused on you. “C/N,” she said your character’s name, prompting you to snap into action and fill a glass of water. You went back to Jenna, and she raised her neck, taking a few sips as you slowly tilted the glass for her.
“Easy, I got you,” you moved once more, kneeling on one knee next to the couch, your hand brushing against the back of Jenna’s right hand. She didn’t flinch away, but you saw the panic and fear in her eyes, and it took your breath away how into character she got. “Tara! Tara you’re safe!” you still moved, quickly reaching up to cradle her cheek. “Okay? You’re safe,” you softened the tone of your voice considerably, and the two of you remained like that, waiting for the slight pause in the scene to play out.
And then Jenna sobbed, with so much emotion you damn near felt the exact need to protect her your character felt for her character. “Please, don’t leave me,” her eyes filled with tears.
“I won’t. I swear I won’t,” you wiped her tears away, though it wasn’t a part of the script, you just felt like that was something your character would do, and much to your surprise Jenna actually leaned into your touch, playing along with your slightly improvisation.
“You promise?” she asked, her tone so vulnerable, filled with emotion and pushing you to be even better, to give even more of yourself. You felt it at that moment, the instant connection, the instant chemistry, the same way you did years ago with your co-star and semi-mentor.
“I promise. You’re stuck with me until you tell me to leave,” you smiled back as she smiled slightly.
“Could you help me sit up?” Jenna went on with the scene, and you nodded, helping her sit up with as much care as you could while getting into the position your character needed to be in. Jenna leaned the back of her head onto your left shoulder, and you opened your mouth, your eyes meeting hers. “Let me stay like this for a bit? Please?”
And it was truly an awkward position, but you hugged her from behind, your left arm just beneath her neck. “Is this okay?” you asked, and not just as your character. Sure, your characters were meant to be close, but you just met and more than anything you wanted her to be comfortable.
“Yeah,” she relaxed against you for a few moments. “Did they catch him?”
Everything was calm between the two of you. “Not as far as I know.”
Jenna turned, leaning closer and burying her face in the crook of your neck and you nearly flinched, as it wasn’t part of the script, though you couldn’t deny it did fit the description of the relationship between your characters. “I’m so scared C/N,” she whispered, her warm breath tickling your skin.
“I’m here. I won’t let it hurt you again,” you said, hugging her a bit tighter than before.
“Cut!” Matt exclaimed and the two of you separated immediately and you watched as Jenna slowly slipped out of character as she moved to sit on the couch with you. And then you both saw the approval on Matt and Tyler’s faces, which was a very good sign.
“Great you two! That was wonderful!” Tyler praised you and you turned to Jenna with a grin on your face, the previous embarrassment forgotten as you raised your hand for a high-five, which she accepted, her eyes shining with excitement, and a tiny bit of embarrassment over the praise.
You could see this movie meant a lot to her, and you were really happy you didn’t fuck it up, in fact, you were almost certain you’d be working together on it after a chemistry test this successful.
~X~
You let a few days pass, not really waiting for the call, but always keeping your phone close. Funnily enough you were in a similar position your character was in. You’ve been training, practicing various martial arts and you were at a bit of a crossroad, stuck between acting and pursuing a career in MMA. The only reason you didn’t try to be a professional MMA fighter was because Barbara and Tom, your actual manager, and most importantly Hugh, demanded that you at least give acting another shot before going down that path.
Getting a serious injury to the face and trying to restart your acting career wasn’t something anyone would advise you to do.
Still, you had a feeling you were forgetting something these past few days, like there was something you didn’t do and probably should have.
You just came out of the shower, fresh after an average solo training session, when you phone rang. It was Tim, and since he was calling, and he very rarely called, preferring to text instead, you figured it was either really good, or really bad news. “What’s up?” you asked as you walked over to your sofa and grabbed a TV remote. Might as well watch something to pass time.
“You might want to pack your bags,” he certainly sounded happy. “You’re heading to Wilmington, you got the role in Scream 5!” he exclaimed and you almost dropped your remote with how happy he sounded. “Welcome back to acting X-23,” he joked and you laughed at that.
The movie you did years ago, Logan. And the reason why no one really recognized you, they all thought you’d be much younger than you were. The truth was, you filmed Logan back in 2013 and the start of 2014, but since several X-Men movies were yet to be released and spacing them a bit made money, combined with the decision that Logan would be Hugh’s last time playing Wolverine the movie got pushed to 2017.
Still, it was one hell of a starting point.
You still rolled your eyes at that. “Looking forward to it,” and you did. If the chemistry test with Jenna was any indication you were in for a really good experience. “Well, better start packing,” you figured and said your goodbyes to your manager.
About an hour later you got a notification on your phone and glanced at it. It was simple, Jenna Ortega has requested to follow you from Instagram. Your eyes widened and you smacked your forehead, so that’s what you’ve been forgetting to do. Well, you did have a private account so- ah, what the hell, you were just looking for excuses as you quickly accepted the request and followed her back.
And so you sat back, wondering if you should send her a message, congratulate her on getting the role because you were a hundred percent sure she got it. Or if you should just say hi, or anything really, and as you sat there, looking at the empty messages and wondering what you should do while the music played on TV you saw Jenna typing.
“Shit!” you cursed and exited the messages as if having Jenna immediately see ‘seen’ on the message would mean being caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing. You lowered your phone onto the table and watched it like a hawk, resisting the temptation to see if she was still typing, but minutes later your screen didn’t light up and you raised an eyebrow at that. She changed her mind?
And now you felt guilty because it felt like you knew something you shouldn’t. So, swallowing your pride and ignoring the slight fear you decided to send her a message after all.
18:21 Y/N L/N: Hey, sorry you had to follow me first, I’m not really all that active here
There, you sent it, nice, simple message. Nothing to worry about.
18:22 Jenna Ortega: Hi! It’s fine, don’t worry about it! I was thinking, I mean if you don’t have anything planned, maybe you’d like to meet up and get to know each other over a lunch?
Your jaw dropped for a moment, but when you thought about it, it really was a logical move, you should spend some time together before acting as characters that were supposed to be best friends turned lovers.
18:23 Jenna Ortega: No pressure, I understand if you’re busy!
You bit the inside of your cheek at that, she was backtracking because you took too long too answer after reading the message.
18:23 Y/N L/N: I do want to meet up!
18:23 Y/N L/N: I was a bit surprised, but it makes sense. Where do you want to meet?
~X~
In the end you agreed to meet up in Los Angeles where Jenna was wrapping up filming another movie. You managed to resist Googling the younger girl, wanting to hear it from her instead of going in knowing things about her. But you did hear her name popping up every now and then, a young, extremely talented actress that wasn’t even eighteen, hard-working and wonderful to work with.
A child actress, you knew that much without having to search for information on the internet. She decided to do it, to basically sacrifice regular childhood in favor of going to work. You felt lots of things regarding that, but you wanted to get to know Jenna better before you decided which of those many feelings prevailed.
You stood near the doors of a small diner Jenna recommended to meet up at, waiting for her. You were a bit nervous and ended up arriving twenty minutes earlier than you agreed to meet up. You could have gone in, ordered a drink, found a way to pass time inside instead of out in the street, but you just simply didn’t. Instead, you opened your phone and began reading ‘The House of Voices’ the book the script that caught your interest was based on. You were still in the talks for that movie, and if you got the role filming wouldn’t start for some time, so there wouldn’t be a scheduling issue.
You still wanted to get familiar with the source material. And the book was good, so that was a bonus.
You barely read a couple of pages when the sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention and you looked to the side to see Jenna there, fifteen minutes early, dressed in a casual white T-shirt and plain jeans. Not a lot different from the casual clothes you chose to wear. “Hey,” you smiled, putting your phone away, only to realize you weren’t sure if you should offer her your hand or go for a hug.
Luckily, Jenna, either on purpose or by accident, solved that problem for you when she stopped forward, smiling shyly with arms spread slightly, inviting you in for a hug. “Thanks for agreeing to meet up,” she said as you hugged her. Her hold on you wasn’t too tight, but it wasn’t loose either, it wasn’t forced.
“Of course,” you replied and motioned toward the door when you separated. “Shall we?” you asked, making Jenna quickly nod. You smiled as she turned away, clearly more nervous than you anticipated she would be. You weren’t sure what about you caused her to be so nervous, but, you figured she just needed some time, so you let her lead the way into the diner and choosing seats near the corner, just to give both of you some extra privacy. Which wasn’t that difficult, seeing as the diner was almost empty. The soft melody of a violin playing seemed to soothe her as you both sat down.
“Did you wait for too long?” Jenna asked as you both got comfortable, the diner went for more casual and comfortable seating, going for sofas and lower tables instead of usual chairs.
You shook your head at that. “Just a few minutes, don’t worry about it,” especially since she came early as well.
Jenna nodded, not even bothering to hide the relief on her face as you said that. You decided even that early into knowing her, that she worried too much. You arrived early and you were aware that you were early. Any waiting that could have happened was on you.
A waitress approached the two of you and you both ordered, Jenna deciding on baked beans and you going for a risotto.
“Weather is much nicer here,” you suddenly said, glancing outside the window toward the clear sky before turning back to Jenna. “Denver’s been a bit cloudy these past few days,” you explained and watched as Jenna’s eyes widened a bit.
“You came here from Denver?” she asked, almost sounding astounded by that discovery. “I’m so sorry, I thought you’d still be in a hotel or something!” she quickly apologized, but you just shrugged.
“Hey, I accepted to come here, didn’t I? It’s all good,” you couldn’t do much more than just try and reassure her with your words.
Jenna just groaned and lowered her head. “It’s just, since so much is happening here I thought you’d be living close to here, make connections, make it easier to book auditions,” she explained and it made sense to you.
There was one thing she didn’t know though. “Oh, I’m not really working as an actress at the moment,” you admitted and were honestly a bit amused by how quickly she looked at you. “Well, I was, I did a movie as a child, figured I could wait until I grew up and now I’m sort of trying to get back in,” you summed it up.
Jenna nodded, looking a bit regretful when she heard you say that. “Sometimes I wish I made that choice too,” her eyes widened, as if she didn’t expect to reveal that. “I mean, I’m extremely lucky to be doing this, but there are some downsides.”
You could agree with that. You probably would have gone down the same path, if it wasn’t for one detail. “I nearly stayed as well, but then Hugh told me I didn’t have to rush it, that I should be a child first,” you explained, revealing bits about yourself that you didn’t usually speak about as easily as you did just now. You just felt like, since Jenna was so sincere, you owed her the same honesty.
The silence that followed was strangely comfortable, like two long-time friends just existing in each other’s company. Neither of you felt the need to rush the conversation. “So, horror?” you eventually broke the silence and started the conversation.
Jenna’s face immediately lit up with an almost child-like excitement and you leaned in subconsciously. “It’s just pure fun, you know. It’s this release, combining the thrill and fear, and everyone loves it. There’s passion, and deep understanding of what the story is supposed to be, that it isn’t meant to only provoke thoughts, but that it’s supposed to give people watching a relief from everyday worries, an escape of sorts. I, I think it ended up being an escape for me too,” she didn’t even seem to try to wipe off the grin on her face as you listened to her, completely focused on her words and soaking their meaning in. “Sorry, I’m rambling,” she apologized, blushing slightly as if she just caught herself doing it.
“Not at all. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about it from that perspective, but I can see it,” the fact that more often than not the villain was much stronger than the hero just worked, just made it more engaging. “We are kinda breaking the rules with our characters, aren’t we?”
Jenna thought it over for a moment and then nodded. “Now that you mention it, yeah. Tara survives the opening, while the scene pays homage to the flawless opening of the original,” she took a sip of her drink, buying some time so she could collect her thoughts. “And your character feels stronger than Ghostface, to the point of fighting two on one and still having an upper hand until they take my character hostage,” she pointed out.
“You’ve been a fan of these movies for some time, I’m guessing,” you paused, watching her nod at that. “How do those things make you feel?” especially regarding your own character.
Jenna didn’t bother hiding it this time, she just fell silent, and you could see she was taking her time, figuring out the way to word her answer. “It’s fresh, risky, but fresh. Ghostface has always been just a regular human with a knife, it’s plausible that someone trained would beat them. And Tara surviving just needs to happen for the plot to happen, so, you know,” she finished kinda sheepishly and you nodded smiling as the two of you continued talking for hours after that.
~X~
When Jenna came back to her hotel room that night it was already close to midnight, and you met up just a bit after three o’clock! She leaned back against the door of her hotel room, not even aware of the smile on her face as she closed her eyes. She had to admit she was worried about spending a portion of her day off like this, but not only did she spent more time with you than she anticipated, but she didn’t regret it one bit.
She pulled her phone out of her purse for the first time in almost nine hours and immediately wished for ground to swallow her whole. All the excitement and fun of the day just vanished into thin air, replaced by anxiety squeezing at her heart. She couldn’t even count the number of missed calls and texts from her family and Enrique, as well as Maddie. She took a deep breath, calming down her anxiety and calling her mom. For a moment she considered calling Aliyah, and letting her spread the news that she was fine, but she knew she had to reassure her mom herself.
“Jenna Marie Ortega, you’ve shortened my life by a decade!” her mom immediately shouted, and Jenna honestly couldn’t blame her. When she met up with Maddie before the movie they met up early and while they spent more time together they separated at a much earlier hour. This time Jenna didn’t even consider taking the time to call anyone while she was with you.
“Sorry!” she quickly apologized. “I’m fine, I promise, we just lost track of time,” she said sheepishly. And you did, the diner closed at ten and you really should have gone separate ways at that point, but Jenna offered you a walk, which ended up taking you both to a park.
“God help me, Jenna,” her mom sighed, but she could hear the immeasurable relief in her mom’s voice, and her guilt seemed to increase tenfold due to that.
“If it makes you feel any better, she walked me back to the hotel,” Jenna offered, remembering how you insisted on walking her back to the hotel, refusing to let her walk alone this late at night, and promising you’d send her a message when you came back to your hotel room. You parted ways with a hug, firmer than the one you had when you met up. Longer as well.
“I’m guessing it went well?” as if the time she spent with you wasn’t the answer to that question already.
She smiled once more, remembering just how often you made her laugh today, how many times you made her feel heard and seen with each topic either of you started. Going back and forth, discussing different ideas, talking about childhood. She found out you were an only child, but not much else about your family. But you did tell her about your experience as a child actress for a bit. And only then did Jenna realize she forgot to ask which movie you were in. A question for another day, she supposed. “I can’t remember the last time I had such a good time,” she easily admitted, feeling excited to work with you and eventually get to know you even better.
Her mom softened up at that, there was no doubt about it. “I can hear it in your voice,” she pointed out. “Don’t stay up too late, okay? I’ll tell everyone you’re fine, I love you,” and Jenna was thankful for that, she really wanted to go to sleep as quickly as possible.
“Thanks mom, love you too,” she hung up and smiled when her phone buzzed again.
23:57 Y/N L/N: Safe and sound. Sleep well, Jen
Jen… She just now noticed that at some point during the day you began calling her by a nickname.
She was worried about Scream. She was worried about the opening scene, about living up to what they were trying to do, and she was still worried about that. But this, meeting up with you, it eased her bigger worries. You had a kiss together, you would be carrying her, not to mention all the scenes you’d have in bed, lying next to each other. So, she was worried about all of that, worried about not getting along with someone she’s supposed to film all those scenes with, to hug and be held, and to kiss with.
There was no need to worry about that. If today was any indication she would be more than comfortable with you on and off camera.
~X~
You arrived at the hotel a day before the shooting began, and you settled in, appreciating that the room had pretty much everything you would need. And though the hotel itself didn’t have a gym there was one nearby in case you felt the need, or more likely, had the time to get a workout in.
You sent Barbara and Tom a message, letting them know you arrived and that things were going well. There was no one else to contact, the directors knew you arrived, so you just pulled out the script you were given, the final script, and began reading through it. The role you got did, in fact, require at least the build of an MMA fighter, preferably with skills to back it up, you certainly had an intense action scene coming up.
What caught your attention was just how physical the relationship between your character and Jenna’s character was. In damn near every scene you read where your character was on screen Tara was also present, and every time there was some touch involved, be it holding hands or Tara leaning on C/N. So, they were absolutely right when they got Jenna and you to do chemistry read in person instead over Zoom or some other platform.
A knock on your doors made you set the script aside, about a third of the way read, and you got up to open the doors. The woman you saw in front of your doors looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful in person than in the Zoom meeting the entire cast had not too long ago.
“Hi, Melissa, right?” you still wanted to make sure.
Since her mask was hanging beneath her chin you saw the smile on her face. “Yeah, you’re Y/N?” you nodded at that. “Great, could you come with me to my room for a few minutes?” she asked, pointing behind her down and down the hall, and though you were a bit confused you nodded. She didn’t look like she came just to hang out or say hi.
“Of course,” with that you closed the doors behind you and followed Melissa through the halls. The hotel you were staying in had pictures hung on the walls, beautiful paintings, some abstract art, modern and more traditional, pretty much something for everyone, without a clear theme. Or, at least, you weren’t sure if there was a pattern. Granted, you just arrived and didn’t have time to observe it closely. Still, it was pleasant to see.
“So, I managed to find something out,” she said and you glanced toward her. “And I’ve been wondering if you’re interested in helping us out?” you still had no idea what she was talking about, but when you came into her room you found most of your costars close to you in age. Jasmin, Mason, Mikey, Jack, Dylan and Sonia were there.
“Hey there,” you raised your hand to greet them, though you definitely noticed Jenna wasn’t there. She probably didn’t arrive yet, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t really looking forward to seeing her again. “So, what’s up?”
“Jenna is turning eighteen on Sunday, so, would you like to help us make a bit of a party for her?” Melissa explained and you grinned.
“Count me in,” somehow the birthday dates never came up when you two hung out in Los Angeles, but you were more than happy to help with this. The time you spent with Jenna that day was easily one of the best days you had in a long time. You felt at ease, relaxed, there was no pressure, or any kind of judgment in her eyes. She was just accepting, a wonderful person and you couldn’t think of any you’d work on this movie with you’d rather do this for.
“Great, what can you do?” Mikey asked, and that got you thinking. What would be the best way to help with this surprise birthday party? Well, you knew your answer, the question was how much could you hide from Jenna?
“I can cook,” and that, funnily enough, got your costars laughing, after all that was one of the things your character did for a living.
Damn, now it felt a bit like the role was made for you, either way, you sat down and while Jenna was oblivious to what was happening in Melissa’s room all of you began making plans for Sunday.
A/N: I am still very much on the fence about this, but, here you go, the first chapter. Tell me what you think, and I dunno... Taglist? Yes? No?
Masterlist / Next part
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monkey-wrench-series · 11 months ago
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One month on; The future of Monkey wrench as a fully animated indie series.
It’s been exactly one month since Ep 3 of Monkey was released to the public, and as the ever want to be as transparent as possible with indie production it’s time we sat down and had a very important discussion on the future of the series…
So, as we said above, one month has passed from the public release of episode 3, and everything hinges on how well it does.
Below are the metrics for it on Youtube;
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Our hope was to have ep 3 hit 500k in two weeks. After 31 days we’re still under 470k views, ad rev as you can see is pitiful and engagement has evaporated. Maybe we set our hopes a little too high?
It’s not all doom and gloom though, this is the first ep to get this many views in this amount of time. Our patreon support has grown by 1/3 after the ep came out and our Scratch & Scritch plushies did ok, see images below;
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So as of now, we have enough money for voices, sound and music for episode 4. Voice recording begins next week and I hope to start the animatic for the ep sometime after.
As for the animation portion of production… things are looking a little tricky.
As you should know, animation, especially frame by frame stuff like we do, it’s obscenely time intensive and expensive. For ep 3 we had a rough animation rate of $20.83 per 1 second of animation and the same for clean up with very minimal edits and redos.
Seeing the recent animation pay discourse has honestly shaken us up pretty bad, we had no idea how pitiful our pay had been compared to other indies and we in no way want to exploit anyone for their work on the series.
With both Ash and I putting everything we had saved in Eps 1, 2 and 3 and seeing how below average they’ve all performed and with how little we can afford to pay our animators, on top of burning myself out horrifically doing 3 eps in a row, we’ve sadly had to come to the conclusion that full animation for this series is no longer financially possible at our current support level.
That does not mean we’re stopping production, however.
There are two possible routes we can take;
Route 1; Animatic hybrid.
Over the past week and a half I managed to solo out 5 minutes and 15 seconds of animatic keyframe animation for our recently released outtakes video.
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At our current support level I can do the animatic keyframe route for most of the mundane stuff in an ep, and then go into full animation for the ‘good bits’, that way we can pay our animators an actual decent wage. Over time if our support grows we can return to full animation.
Route 2: Kickstart ep 4 for $100k
We have thought about doing a kickstarter type thing to get the $100,000 we’d need for the animation portion of the ep. We want to pay our animators properly for their time and skill and this would be the best route to go if we want to have ep 4 fully animated.
However with our current viewership and engagement with eps 1, 2 and 3 I’m not sure we could hit a goal of $100,000 in the 30 days we need.
Is it a risk worth taking?
What would we do for rewards?
Physical rewards would take money away from animation production and things like animated rewards would take time away from myself working on the ep.
That’s pretty much where my mind has been at the past few days. I’d love to hear your input and thoughts on how you would like us to proceed.
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just-jordie-things · 11 months ago
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born to die - itadori yuji
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
word count: 8.7k warnings: canon-typical angst and talks of death summary: itadori's fate has been sealed, and he can't bear dragging anyone down with him. especially not her. more info: friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angsty confession rain scene, you're gonna eat it up
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ feet don’t fail me now, take me to the finish line // oh my heart it breaks every step that i take, but i’m hoping that the gates they’ll tell me that you’re mine ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Itadori Yuji hasn’t always lived his life on borrowed time.  It used to be normal- as some called it.  He used to be just a boy, with an intrigue in the occult and semi-above average grades.  Back when things were normal he’d never thought much about girls or dating, not seriously anyways.  In the back of his mind he always figured the right person would come along at the right time, and he’d settle down when things worked out that way.
He didn’t know that the right time would cease to exist the moment he swallowed that finger.
At the sound of lightning cracking, Yuji flinches slightly, not having realized just how bad this storm had gotten since he’d stepped out of the dormitories to appreciate the rain.  He must’ve been out here for longer than he thought, but he hadn’t exactly been trying to keep track of time.  One thing led to another and he’d gotten lost in his thoughts, and…
“Megumi, what the hell is happening?”
Her shock was evident not only in the way she’d called out to her classmate and friend, but also in the speed at which she’d brought herself from one end of the corridor to the other.  It was almost as if she’d teleported there.  
At the time, Yuji thought maybe that was her special power.  If the grumpy dude had shadow animals, it wasn’t too outlandish to believe she could warp from one spot to another, right?
He’ll never forget the way she’d looked at him then.  For the first time.
Confusion and panic washed away for the briefest of moments, instead gazing upon him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw.  Yuji had confused it at first for recognition, thinking maybe they’d met before and he’d forgotten, but that wasn’t the case.
“Who is that?” 
“This is Itadori,” Fushiguro huffed, more annoyed by the introduction than anything.  “He’s the one with the finger” 
It wasn’t exactly the introduction Yuji would have wanted, but there was no changing that now.  Besides, as long as he was able to say that he met her, that he knew her, he’d consider that more than a blessing.  
(He always sort of had that soft way of speaking about her whenever she came up, whenever he brought her up.  His eyes would glaze over with that dreamy look and before he knew it his heart was getting fluttery and his face was getting warm)
A lot of that fateful night was a blur, especially the parts where his body no longer belonged to him, but when it came to her, it was like the images were crystal clear.  If there was a way for him to enter a memory and relive it- that’s how he’d describe the sensation.
“Is he still passed out?” A voice- Yuji couldn’t be sure if it was Fushiguro or his supposed mentor who’d shown up- asked, but it was fuzzy and distant.
“Seems so,” A gentler one replied.  This one was undoubtedly hers.  “Probably for the best that he rests” She added before he felt the faint touch of fingertips pushing the hair off his forehead.
“What do we do with him now?” It was obvious it was Fushiguro asking, and it was obvious that he was asking his mentor, but it wasn’t the older man who replied.
“We take him back with us,” She piped up, her voice holding a firmness that suggested she’d argue harder if she had to.  “Right?” 
The pause before an answer came was long, Yuji wasn’t sure if he had faded in and out of consciousness, or if the silence really did drag on for minutes.
He’d never told her that he’d heard that small bit of conversation, that he remembered the way her careful fingers had touched him with more compassion than he’d felt in a long time.  Yuji couldn’t decide if it was because he was a coward or if he simply wanted to keep hold of that precious memory all to himself.
Another roll of thunder rumbled through the sky.  Yuji lifted his head to try and make out the dark clouds among the night sky.  Without a flash of lightning it was difficult to make out, but he did always enjoy watching a good storm, even if the darkness made it difficult.
He’d surely been out here for a couple of hours at this point.  It was nearing midnight when he’d crept out of the dormitories to watch the rain, hoping for a peaceful moment.  It was peaceful, the storm, at least.  His mind had gotten foggy after spending too much time within it and he was starting to go down that path he hated.
What if I’d done things differently? Do I really deserve to still be here? How long until we find the last finger and the higher ups have me executed? 
It wasn’t your average person’s derailed anxiety.  In fact, all of the anxieties Yuji had ever faced before being introduced to jujutsu had faded away.  He’d have to think for a few minutes to recall the things that used to be on the forefront of his mind on sleepless nights.
He was certain none of them involved being executed, though.
It was only a matter of time, and he’d known that for a while.  He was quite sure he’d come to peace with it, too.  Or at least he almost had.  He was just wrapping his head around the idea of dying, but as long as he’d helped people before that time came, he could accept it.  He could die at peace knowing he’d done everything he could to fulfill his grandfather’s dying wish.
And then she came along and everything turned upside down- again, and not for the last time.
The relief between the group of four upon finding everyone alive and as well as they could be- not unscathed, but nothing that couldn’t be bandaged up- was quickly replaced by utter shock as they watched Sukuna’s mouth appear on the palm of Yuji’s hand.  There was no time to react before it was gobbling up the finger Megumi had obtained after a hard fought battle.
It’s suddenly so silent you could hear a pin drop from anywhere in these woods, everyone’s eyes focused on the skin that reappeared over the boy’s palm, each hoping their eyes had played tricks on them as the reality of the situation settles in.
Yuji wants to say something, in fact, he almost cracks a joke.  But the words are stuck in his throat and all he can do is flex his fingers into a fist a few times as he processes what just happened.
Another finger consumed is another finger closer to death.
“We won’t tell anyone about this,” She speaks first, gaze lingering on his hand for a moment longer before lifting to Yuji’s concerned expression.  She hesitates again, then turns to Megumi and Nobara.  “No one.  We keep this to ourselves” 
“Not even-?” 
“Not even Gojo-sensei” She cuts Megumi off before he could finish the question.
Nobara gave a solid nod in agreement right away.  She always trusted her say in anything, and would blindly follow her anywhere.  Megumi took a minute longer to catch up, but eventually agreed as well.  The idea of keeping such a massive secret hidden from Gojo unsettled him, but when he weighed out the other options, he didn’t like the idea of Yuji being any closer to death than he was before.
“Let’s get moving” Was all he said, but it was enough for his peers to know he was on board.  Nobara followed after him as he took off towards the direction they’d come hours ago.  Yuji hung back a few steps, not sure how to feel about everyone covering for him.
“(y/n),” 
He called her name softly, as he always did, but it was loud enough for her to perk up.  She sends him a small smile as she slows her own steps to walk beside him at his slower pace.
“I don’t want anyone getting in trouble for covering for-” 
“No one’s getting in trouble,” She assured him mid-sentence.  “And no one’s doing anything they don’t want to do.  It’s fine” 
She was always so sure of herself that it was endearing.  She was a natural leader, even when Megumi tried to form a plan, she had a way of rallying the small group up before any assignment.  Just last week Gojo made them stay behind after lessons to clean the classroom, and she’d found a way to make it into a competition that had them finished in under thirty minutes.  Yuji admired that about her.  Her spirit could be over exaggerated, but it was never phony.
Yuji was at a loss for words, leaving him stuck gaping at her like a fish, which was at least effective in making her laugh.
“You care so much for others- I really admire that about you, Yuji,” She spoke as if she could read his mind.  It had his chest buzzing in that familiar way she sparked.  She looked at him and it was like her eyes were made of the stars themselves.  “But you underestimate how much… others care for you too” 
He’ll never forget the way her cheeks had gone pink after the soft admission.
If the circumstances had been different, he’s sure he would have confessed to her right then and there.  If things were different he wouldn’t have been able to hold it back.  If it weren’t for his reality, he would have loved nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her- well, everything, really.
It wasn’t like he was doing that great of a job keeping his heart in check.  His friends had noticed the way his demeanor changed as soon as she walked into the room.  Megumi may have wanted to ignore the subject just because that was his nature, but Nobara was happy to blurt it out one night when it was just the three of them.
“So when are you gonna address the whole (y/n) thing?” She’d barely looked up from where she was sitting on Megumi’s floor painting her nails.  Yuji had to do a double take just to make sure she was talking to him.
“... (y/n) thing?”
He’d acted like he didn’t have a clue what she was referencing, but truthfully, his heart was already racing.  He hadn’t been that obvious about it, had he?
“C’mon Nobara, he doesn’t want to talk about that yet, leave him be” Megumi had come to his defense, but only sort of, because now Yuji realized that they both knew about his hidden feelings.
Did he not hide them that well? 
“It’s been months!” Nobara barks back, ever so focused on the perfect coat of cherry red.  “He’s gotta be bursting to tell someone! Might as well be us” 
“This is why people don’t come to you with stuff” Megumi huffs.
“You got something you want to say then?” Nobara argues.
“No, I’m just saying-” 
“Then could you shush so Yuji could actually open up about his undying love?”
“Uh… heh…?” Yuji mumbled his confusion to himself, but it was enough to interrupt their bickering.  He glanced between the two with a lost look on his face, waiting for someone to better explain it to him.
“Yuji, if you need some advice on how to ask out (y/n), we’re here for you” Nobara says with complete seriousness.  He knows because she paused in her nail painting to stare him down while she said it.
He swallowed the lump in his throat- which he hadn’t been aware of until that very moment- and wildly looked between both of his friends.
Megumi, although slightly disinterested, seemed just as invested as Nobara in this offer.  Maybe he was just bored of reading, because he didn’t often follow along with Nobara’s antics unless there was something in it for him, but it was clear in his raised brows that he was waiting for Yuji to say something.
And that’s when the pinkette remembers-
“No way man!” He shouts defensively, standing suddenly from his spot on the floor.  “You’re like her best friend! You’re just gonna tell her everything I say!” 
Unceremoniously, Megumi points to himself like the statement confused him.
Nobara huffs and rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, you!” 
Yuji had his moments of airheadedness, but he wasn’t a complete idiot.  (y/n) and Megumi had known each other for a long time.  They’d trained together as sorcerers in their younger years and it wasn’t until recently that they even had other classmates.  Megumi wouldn’t openly call any of his classmates his friends- at least not until Yuji begged him to admit it- but it had been clear that the bond he’d formed with (y/n) before Yuji and Nobara’s arrival had been built on an unshakable foundation of trust and respect.
To Yuji, that made the pair best friends.  And best friends shared everything with each other.  Including secrets shared in confidence from other friends.
“So you admit there’s something to be told?” Nobara asks, raising a brow in curiosity.
“I didn’t say that!” 
“You sort of implied it” Megumi said.
“Well then I un-imply it!” 
“Not how that works” Nobara pipes back in.
Yuji groans, covering his burning face with his hands in the hopes that it helps to hide the giveaway that was his blushing face.  It was too late, of course his friends were perceptive enough to have already caught it.
“I didn’t- I wasn’t saying that I-” His stammering only seems to prove the claims made against him, but still, Yuji tries to find the words to explain himself.  Probably because there was no way to explain himself.  His feelings were made clear in his actions already.
“So you won’t mind if I set her up with the guy at the pastry shop we go to then?” Nobara asks, and before she’s completely finished talking, Yuji drops his hands, and his eyes are wide with panic.
“Guy? Pastries? Why? Does- does she talk to him a lot?” 
Nobara glances at Megumi, who’s finally cracked a smile as he scoffs and shakes his head.  He’s trying not to break out into laughter, but sometimes those two just made it too hard.
He wasn’t the kind of guy that shared other people’s secrets.  If Yuji needed (y/n) to know something, he’d tell her.  Tonight was the first night that he’d ever contemplated crossing that boundary.  Just so he could see the way she’d light up at the insinuation that the boy she loved could love her back.
It didn’t seem like the storm would let up anytime soon.  The rain was hitting the ground harder than ever.  If he were to step out from under the awning, he’d be soaked to the bone in just seconds.  Standing in the rain actually sounded sort of nice.  It might have been a relief, even for just a minute.  Or maybe a decent enough distraction from where his mind had wandered off to.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like to think about her.  Hell, so much of his time had been thinking about her that he was starting to go absolutely crazy.  Even if he knew how to stop, he probably wouldn’t have.  He definitely wouldn’t have.
The pipeline from having a crush to being full on crazy about someone was faster than he would have expected.  Yuji didn’t have an exact timeline, but he knew that it wasn’t long after meeting her that he was lost in his adoration for her.  Soft, warm, all consuming adoration.
“These are really good!” Her eyes were lit up and her mouth was full of food as she praised Yuji for the meal.  She was already reaching for another meatball before she’d swallowed the first one.  “Your grandpa gave you this recipe?” 
Megumi and Nobara, who were also knelt around the table, had given Yuji their compliments as well.  But the brightness on his face now outshined his reaction to their five star reviews.  With the wide grin splitting his face and wider eyes following her greedy movements to snatch another meatball.  Nothing zapped his heart with pure electricity like the way she did just by enjoying his food.
He’s nodding his head in a small, slow motion to her question.
“That’s amazing, I wish I knew how to make anything.  Especially something this good,” Her approval was laying itself on thick, but he knew that it was completely genuine.  “I’m honestly jealous, Yuji” 
He laughs, his face pink from the bashfulness.
“I’m glad you like them,” He says, keeping his gaze focused on the one meatball on his plate that he hadn’t even touched yet.  
He couldn’t bear to look over at Nobara, who was snickering through her full mouth.  Or Megumi, who was staring so blatantly between him and (y/n) that Yuji thought he might burn up completely if he met his eyes.
So he keeps his head down, for the love of all things good and sane, he kept his head down.
“Well… I’ll make if for you anytime you want” 
It takes a lot of courage for him to peek over at her from his peripheral, but it’s completely worth the trembling in his fingers.  She’s beaming at him, cheeks full, eyes bright, completely overcome by his generosity and sweetness.
Nobara had to lift her napkin to her face to keep herself from spitting out her food.  Megumi finally shifts his gaze to his food, hoping he’ll at least be able to keep it down with all the lovesick nonsense at the table.
Yuji would have to use both hands to count the amount of times he made those meatballs for her.  Both out of request, and by his own choice.  She definitely was treated to them the most, despite Nobara and Megumi also enjoying the recipe.
But Nobara and Megumi didn’t get them at two in the morning when they couldn’t sleep and wanted a snack.  Nobara and Megumi didn’t get them when they were sick in bed with the flu for a week.
And the two would tease him for it relentlessly.  Not only because the treatment was unfair- they wanted delicious meatballs too! But of course when they caught Yuji up at odd hours to make her favorite meal, they just couldn’t resist calling him out on it.
Yuji would fluster, but it would never matter once he finished his masterpiece and presented them to (y/n).  It was like the entire world would melt away when he was greeted with her pure delight for his food.  He wished he could learn to make something else to give her, but it had taken so long for him to learn this recipe from his grandpa, he worried he’d only mess up a new dish.
His throat starts to feel hot.  Was that tears?  It constricts until he can’t breathe without it burning, and even when he tries to swallow to relieve the throbbing sensation, it remains.  Was he going to cry over meatballs? 
(It wasn’t the meatballs) 
“I have a surprise for you students!” Gojo’s cheery voice wasn’t out of the ordinary, and neither was the little dance of excitement he did as he wheeled up a large box to present to the first and second years.
While no one held any interest, they all remained there, waiting for their eccentric mentor to get the display over with.  No one knew what to expect, but they figured it couldn’t have been important.
But then he steps aside and does a grand introduction, and even though he states Yuji’s name, it’s not until the boy is popping out like a jack-in-the-box that it really settles in for anyone that Itadori Yuji was there.  Alive.
No one moves.  No one even says anything.  Yuji’s grinning and holding his hands up in peace signs as he’s returned to his friends, but even his cheerfulness couldn’t penetrate the unsettled trance the first and second years seemed to be in.
“Uh- Gojo- sensei…?” Yuji glanced towards his teacher for some help, not having expected anything other than a warm welcome.  However, Gojo was also wincing as he took in his students’ faces.
The second years looked aghast.  With Maki’s entire face in a disgusted cringe, as if Yuji was brought back as a zombie.  All three of them seemed more shocked than relieved.
The first years also didn’t appear like they were struck with relief either.  Megumi and Nobara had gone so pale they looked like they could faint at any moment.  With Megumi’s eye twitching and Nobara’s nose wrinkling, they were certainly processing it slowly.
Then there was (y/n).
To this day Yuji couldn’t describe the way she looked at him.  He was certain she didn’t blink once.  Tucked behind Megumi as if his tall stature could protect her from the boy raised from the dead, she looks more small and fragile than he’s ever seen her before.  Her jaw wasn’t dropped like Maki’s, but her lips were parted, trying to form any word that comes to mind.  Nothing comes out.  Her eyebrows can’t stop pinching and relaxing.  Worst of all, the tears that were silently streaming down her face.
Maki was the first to bark out an insult at Gojo for his insensitive display.  Panda welcomes Itadori back as he and Inumaki follow after Maki to come up with a plan of attack before the Exchange Event begins.
Yuji awkwardly climbed out of the box he was still standing in, approaching his friends with a frown.
“I thought you guys would be more excited”
“You- you were dead, Itadori” Megumi’s the first to stutter over his quiet statement.  
Nobara’s chewing on her lip, but some of the color was returning to her face the longer he stood before her, and she was sure that he was going to disappear like a ghost again.
(y/n’s) left to stare with wide teary eyes, still half behind Megumi, still rendered speechless.  Yuji wonders if she even knows she’s crying.
“I’m… I’m glad you’re back.  We’re glad you’re back,” 
Megumi would love it if one of the girls would speak up.  But Nobara still looks like she might be sick, and he hasn’t found the courage to check on how (y/n’s) been taking the last few minutes.  He’s pretty sure she’s crying behind him and he didn’t know how to take that on.
“Just in time too, yeah?” He finishes with an awkward cough.  Yuji can barely manage a nod before Megumi leaves.
Nobara mutters something of a similar sentiment before she leaves as well.   It’s through a cough and a gag, but she tries, and Yuji appreciates it nonetheless.
With everyone else gone, and without Megumi to hide behind, (y/n) seems more exposed now.  Never before in Yuji’s presence had she wanted to shrink down into the earth, and she hates feeling that way now.
“Gojo thought that would be fun…” He starts to explain himself, his hand going over the back of his neck.  “I’m realizing now that it was probably… really stupid, huh- oof!” 
He didn’t get the chance to properly apologize before she crashed into him.  It’s so fast, almost a blur, that he nearly loses balance.  But her arms are wrapped around his middle so tight he thinks even if he had tripped up, she would’ve righted him with her strong hold with no issue.
“So stupid,” She repeats before pulling away, and finally wiping away the tears on her face with the back of her hands.  “You were dead Yuji, you can’t just- just pop out of a box and expect us to think that’s normal!” 
“I’m sorry,” He blurts out the apology before he can lose any more time.  “I’m really, really sorry, alright? I wish I could have told you guys sooner but Gojo-sensei… well, we thought it was right while I was training.  He was just trying to protect me” 
She nods in understanding, but it’s shaky, and it was clear that she was struggling to actually understand  the whole picture.  Yuji couldn’t be upset with her for processing it all slowly.  Hell, he wasn’t all too caught up himself.  He might’ve gotten ahead of himself a bit with the whole surprise reappearance.
“Look, I get it, I… do,” (y/n) sighs, blinking quickly to rid the last of the tears from her eyes.  It doesn’t quite work.  “Just don’t ever be that stupid again, alright?” 
He chuckles a bit, and for a moment it makes a smile crack on her lips too.  It’s wobbly, but it’s enough to warm his heart.
“I know that’s hard for you,” She teases weakly, before sniffling.  “But you’re gonna have to try, alright?” 
“Alright,” He’s still smiling, but it comes out so genuine it’s heavy.  “Promise, I won’t do anything that stupid again” 
Her wobbly smile stretches a little more, before a small laugh escapes her.
“Don’t go making promises you can’t keep” 
“I don’t” 
To his luck, he hadn’t done anything too stupid since his little ‘I’m still alive!’ bit.  Well, he was pretty sure, considering she had yet to give him that look she had that day.  Thank the gods too, because Yuji’s pretty sure if he ever had to see her cry like that again, he’d die on the spot.
Unfortunately, this means that Yuji learned that day that he couldn’t live with himself if he was the cause of her suffering.  Seeing her cry was hard enough, but knowing he was the sole reason for it? Even thinking about it now, his throat burned hotter.  His eyes did, too, but he was trying to ignore the blur that kept invading his vision for now.
What the hell was with his emotions tonight? He’d come out here to find some peace while storm watching, and instead he’s standing here reminding himself of everything he’d done wrong in his life.
Falling for someone despite knowing he wasn’t meant to walk this earth for much longer had to have been some twisted punishment for something wicked he’d done in a past life.  
Or was it punishment for carrying the most wicked thing within him now? 
Swallowing that first finger months ago on a whim to save a stranger’s life, was that the day that sealed his fate? 
Was he doomed from the start or doomed somewhere along the way?
Would he be able to live with himself, not for the evil residing inside of him, but knowing that one day he’d have to leave the people he’s grown to love more than anything in the world, and he’d leave them knowing that they wouldn’t see him go without fighting, kicking, screaming- 
Wait, did he just see something move?
Shaking his head of his self pitying thoughts, he blinked away the fog in his eyes and tried to focus on where he could’ve sworn he’d seen movement.  Sure enough seconds later his eyes were bulging out of his head and he was abandoning his safe and dry spot under the awning in order to take off towards the figure.
She’s half jogging, at such an awkward speed Yuji could only wonder if she wasn’t even rushing to get to a dry spot.  Maybe she’d indulged herself in the rain the same way he’d thought about doing earlier.  Either way he’s sprinting towards her and closing the distance in rapid time.
He’s surprised upon his approach when he hears her laughter.  Sweet and bubbly, as if being caught in the rain was the funniest thing in the world.  Even though it had to be intentional, didn’t it? At this hour? She had to have chosen to come outside- much less walk around the campus? 
“What are you doing out here?” He hollers over the loud rain once he reaches her.
(y/n) grins at him, and he swears even with the moon in hiding behind the storm clouds, it reflects it’s light onto her somehow anyways.  She’s already soaked through, the walk from the girls’ dorms to the boys’ isn’t a short one by design.  Even if she was doing a half-jog the whole way over.  Her body trembles like a leaf in the wind and Yuji tries to usher her back to where he was, but she seems to have no urgency about her at all.
“Aren’t you freezing? C’mon, you should get out of the-” 
“It’s alright!” She waves her hand around to dismiss Yuji’s worries.  “I wouldn’t have come out here if I was afraid of getting a little wet” 
(Yuji thinks this is why Megumi used to make fun of her for being a manic pixie dream girl.  He had yet to fully understand the term himself, but this painted a pretty clear picture.  He’ll have to ask Megumi about it later) 
“A little wet?” He chuckles, hoping that if he picks up his pace she will too, but she doesn’t.  “You’re soaked through” 
She just shrugs, and follows alongside him towards the boys’ dorms, where he had been sitting dry just moments ago.  That’s long gone now, his tee shirt and sweatpants felt heavy and cold as they clung to his skin.  His hair hangs almost in his eyes, raindrops dripping onto his eyelashes and making him rub his eyes from the irritation every few minutes.  
It wasn’t very pleasant at all.  He’s glad he didn’t step out into the rain earlier.  Without her company, it wouldn’t have been worth it.
“What’re you doing out here anyways?” He’s still yelling through the rain, but they’re almost to the peace and quiet of the awning now.  “It’s pretty late” 
“You’re up too,” She shoots back like it’s a scold, even though there’s still a grin on her face.  
He’s dying to know what has her so delighted even in these awful conditions.  He’s certain it’s nearing two in the morning- if not later- the storm was so awful they had to yell to hear one another, and now they were both soaked to the bone and shaking like dogs to try and preserve heat.  Honestly, everything about this present moment should suck.  But it simply doesn’t.
“Which I should’ve expected.  Once the storm really started I wanted to come see if you were watching it too.  I know you like that sort of thing” 
His heart does a stupid flutter at the simple fact about him she’d remembered.  It might have also had something to do with her coming all the way here.  In the rain.  In her pajamas.  Her cute hello kitty themed pajamas.
They finally reach the awning and (y/n) gets to work ringing out the hem of her tee shirt.  It’s useless, even with the shocking amount of rainwater splashing on the ground, but Yuji doesn’t comment on it.
“You could’ve just texted you know” He mumbles, hoping the dark would hide the heat that rushes to his face.  Although, it’s somewhat welcomed, as he’s still shivering a bit from being in the rain.
(y/n) looks up at him, stopping her movements to wrap her arms around herself instead.  She was still cold too, but she didn’t say anything about it, didn’t try to rush back to her dorm or anything of the sort.
“Well maybe I wanted to come and see you, too,” She suggests, her smile softening as she gazes up at him.
He laughs, bashfully hanging his head to bite back the smile that threatens to take over his whole face.  (y/n) laughs with him, solely for the fact that she’d gotten him to crack just a little bit.
It had been awhile since he’d acted himself around her.  Maybe only a few days, but there was a notable change.  He wanted to hang out less, was rushing out of class, and training on his own more often.  For someone as extroverted as Yuji, it was easy to notice.  It had been nagging at her for longer than she would’ve liked, but she didn’t work up the courage to address it until tonight.
“Yuji,” 
His name comes out in a soft whisper.  Had she spoken so low while they were still caught in the rain, he surely wouldn’t have heard it.  It hits him now with the force of a truck.  He can’t help but give her every ounce of his attention.
“I’ve been meaning to ask… are you alright?” 
The concern laced in her gentle voice has him worrying, too.  There was some sort of hypnosis involved whenever she spoke to him, as if she had the power to compel him to answer anything she asked.  It was a terrifying ability, however Yuji was convinced she didn’t know she possessed it, so theoretically he was safe.  For now.
When he doesn’t answer right away, (y/n) feels an overwhelming need to explain herself.
“You’ve just been a little distant and… and I want to make sure you’re doing okay.  It’s okay if you’re not, just…” She trails off for a moment, her eyes flickering between his as she tries to decode whatever heavy emotion is sitting behind them.  “Just know I’m here for you if you need to talk, or anything, alright?” 
“I know,” He nods back at her right away.  Of course he knew.  She was the most compassionate person he’d ever known.  Just being in her presence relaxed him to a dangerous state of relief.  That said, his heart was beating at odd intervals as she displayed this much concern over his well being.  “I’m okay, you don’t need to worry” 
He tries to convince her with a smile, but she must see through it, because she gives him a puzzled look as her gaze sweeps over him.  A beat passes before she takes a deep breath.
“Of course I need to,” It’s not intended for it to come out in a whisper, but it does anyways.  “I’ll…” She loses her voice again as her eyebrows pinch together.  
Yuji wonders if she doesn’t know what to say, or if she can’t say what she wants to.  Either way, he waits with as much patience as he can muster for her to finish.  
“I’ll always worry” 
When it finally comes out, (y/n) seals her lips together, pressing them just tight enough that she’s sure they won’t let anything slip that she isn’t prepared to say.  Although if the pounding heart in her chest has anything to do with it, it very well could all come tumbling out before she could stop herself.
The corners of Yuji’s mouth tilt into a frown as he stares back at her with his own concern.  This isn’t right, she shouldn’t be worrying about him.  The logical corner of his brain is raising red flags at alarming speeds.  He needs to find something to say to right this, before she could put too much of her worry in him.  He wasn’t worth worrying about, didn’t she see? He wouldn’t be here forever anyways, there were definitely more worthwhile things for her to focus on.
Instead, all that comes out is a quiet, “Why?” 
(y/n) blinks, as if not understanding what he means at first.  Her arms squeeze around herself a little tighter to preserve warmth, but really she’s only squishing the cold and soggy material of her pajama shirt against her stomach.
“Why?” She repeats in a soft huff, before shaking her head.  “You’ll never really get it, hm?” 
The tiniest of smiles forms on her lips as she looks up at him, gauging his reaction.  Just like before, he’s got that lost look on his face.  It’s cute, the little knot between his brows and the way his frown deepens but only makes his lip jut out in a pout.  One of these days she’ll tell him how adorable this look on him is, but right now she’s only seeking to help him understand the way she feels about him.
“Yuji, do you remember when we all thought you’d died, but then Gojo brought you back?”
“Of course” He answers her without hesitation.
“And I cried at you and made you promise not to do anything stupid like that again?” 
This time, Yuji nods his head back at her.
“I’d never seen you cry before” He mumbles.  Just like earlier, thinking about it makes his stomach squirm uncomfortably.
“Well, that was probably the thousandth time I’d cried over you,” She tells him, and his eyes go wide with alarm.  A short, humorless laugh escapes her as she shakes her head at him.  “Not because of anything you’d done,” She says quickly, already knowing there was going to be a misunderstanding.  “But… we thought you were dead for quite some time, and I… I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I’ve never felt like a larger failure as a sorcerer- as- as a person, when you died,” 
Yuji’s frown worsens.
“I mean I… I was a wreck, it was awful.  I could barely sleep, eat, train- I actually was denied assignments for a while.  Gojo thought I would be a liability.  I know he was just worried about me, but… what I’m trying to say is it was hard,” Her voice strains and she has to take a pause to even her breathing before her emotions could get on top of her.  “Really hard” She adds quietly.
“I… I didn’t realize it was like that,” Yuji mumbles, ducking his head to stare down at the ground.  How could he be so stupid? She’d suffered over him and shortly after coming back he’d started distancing himself without an explanation.  “I’m sorry, I feel so-” 
“No, don’t,” (y/n) steps forward, tilting her chin to catch his line of sight even when he tries to avoid her gaze.  “I don’t need you to apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong, not at all,” She even gives him a small smile to convince him.  It takes a minute for him to commit to looking back at her.  “Yuji, it’s quiet the opposite” 
“The opposite?” He repeats, and she nods her head.
Her nerves have her repeatedly pushing her wet strands of hair behind her ears, tucking the same strands over and over to make sure they couldn’t possibly fall out of place.  Even though with how wet they were they practically slicked back against her head.
“I’m trying to tell you that I care about you, idiot,” She breathes out the insult so softly, so lovingly that even though it’s nature is cruel, his heart accepts it as the most darling pet name anyone had ever called him.  “So I’m going to worry about you… because I’ve lost you before, and I don’t want to go through that again” 
It doesn’t dawn on him how much closer she’d gotten to him until he lifts his head and they’re almost nose to nose.  Her eyes don’t shy away from his once.  They’re soft, and full of his favorite constellations.  He melts little by little before her, until his muscles stop shivering.
“I don’t ever want to put you through that again,” 
He whispers it as if it’s the most hidden secret he could offer her.  With it, his hand reaches out towards her, his eyes landing on the smallest strand of wet hair that she’d missed in her rampant tucking.  It’s clung to her cheek from the rain.  But his movements still just before his fingers could graze over her skin.
“But…” 
He doesn’t have to say it.  They both know.  There’s no sense in speaking about the thing that they never talk about.  It was his burden to carry, wasn’t it?  It wasn’t fair to make anyone else carry the weight of his punishment.  Even if just for a moment.  Even if his back is tired and he longs to love her like a man with no worry about a scheduled death date creeping up on him.
Yuji swallows, hard, trying to keep the unspoken reality just that- unspoken.
But he can’t help but feel as though he owes her an explanation.
“But I’m afraid I’m going to,” His mouth feels dry as he finally tiptoes towards the subject.  (y/n’s) face falls.  “One day, you know I… I’ll be gone and- and I won’t be coming back again” 
As her eyes flicker between his, there’s the smallest of movement in her chin, and incidentally she feels his fingertips ghost over her cheek.  Her head tilts towards the warmth of his featherlight touch right away, leaning into it until the pads of his fingers are pressed into her soft cheekbone.
As Yuji tells himself to pull away and step back, he finds the rest of his hand following her movement, until his palm is fitted over her cheek, and the tip of his index finger is finally pushing that stray hair back behind her ear.
“Are you afraid of death?” Her question is murmured so softly it’s almost spoken right into his lips.
He shakes his head.
“No,” He answers quietly.  “No, I’m not afraid of death.  I’m afraid of… what gets left behind,” 
He’s never shared this with anyone before.  He’d been bottling up the nasty feelings that come with knowing you’ll be executed for so long that it felt criminal to admit them to her now.  Especially when she frowns up at him, and he can see the tears forming in her pretty eyes.
“I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt the people I care about because… because I cared about them” He admits.
When she blinks, a tear escapes, and makes a run for it down her cheek.
“Yuji…” She trails off, a small gasp interrupting her.  “You won’t hurt anyone,” She tells him, even as another tear follows suit.  Just as it slips past her cheekbone, Yuji’s thumb catches it, and he wipes it away without hesitation, determined to keep her from crying over him anymore than she already has.  “We’ll be okay” 
“I don’t want to keep making you cry” He sighs, and she reaches up to grab him by the wrist, squeezing onto it as she presses her cheek further into the palm of his hand.
“You’re not making me cry,” She assures him, a watery smile stretching over her lips.  “I’m crying because- because what I’m afraid of is that you’ll die not knowing how loved you were,” 
His frown finally softens, morphing into faint surprise.
“I would never forgive myself if I didn’t make sure that you know that, every single day, for as long as you live,” She’s stammering a little bit, but there’s a sudden rush that overwhelms her, making her want to spill it all out before it’s too late.  “I’ve never… I’ve never felt so moved by another person before I met you, Yuji,” She confesses.  “I was just… training to be my best every day just because I thought that’s what you do when you’re in my position but then… then you came along, seemingly out of nowhere, and you turned everything so upside down I could barely see what the right direction was,” 
She’s cut off by a giggle that escapes her, and it’s almost out of place, but her entire face brightens with it as she relives that first blossom of feeling he’d sparked in her.  She’d never be able to describe to him exactly what he’d done for her, he’d never understand the way he sparked a purpose in her so deep that it made her feel like she’d finally grown a soul, but she could try.
“Yuji, you gave me a reason to want to be a jujutsu sorcerer, you know?” And he doesn’t know, but she continues anyway.  “You made me not only want to be a better sorcerer, but a better person.  That’s why when you died I felt so pathetic, for not being able to do something, to help you,” She explained.  “You were so bright and- and eager to do the right thing even when it was hard, even though you have every reason to just- just do whatever you want, to leave if you wanted…” 
She gnaws on her lip for a moment as she processes it all herself.  Her heart felt heavy in her chest, but she felt a certain responsibility to tell him the full truth.
“But you didn’t… you… you stayed,” She mumbles.
At this point, Yuji’s too stunned to speak, so he just stood there, frozen, taking in every word she had to say.  He doesn’t want to interrupt her, but he’s also at such a loss for words nothing would come out if he tried.
“I’m trying to tell you I- that I lo-” 
“Don’t,” 
He shakes his head, his hand sliding lower over her cheek, thumb hovering just over her lips, ready to press down if his interruption wasn’t enough to keep her from finishing her confession.  But she does stop, and he watches closely to make sure she doesn’t try again, his thumb still hovering just over her quivering lips just in case.
“Don’t say that” He whispers, quieter than the rain around them.
With the hand she still has curled around his wrist, she pulls his hand away, dropping them at their sides.
“Why not?” Her brows pinch together, her heart aching with the weight of the words still stuck inside of her.
“Because, you…” He tries to give her a reason, but it’s not an easy feat.  It takes a few tries of him opening and closing his mouth before something actually comes out.  “Because you can’t” 
She doesn’t like that answer.  She frowns back at him.
“Yuji, you-” 
“Because if you say that, then when I’ll die, I’ll know it, and I’ll know that I’m letting you down again.  I’ll know that you’ll cry over me, and you’ll- you’ll hurt and I can’t- I’m selfish, alright? I can’t cause that, I don’t want that-” 
“Yuji,” She calls his name again, this time reaching for him with her trembling fingers, clutching at the front material of his shirt to grab his attention enough to cut him off.  “It’s far too late for that now,” She says it with a chuckle and a bittersweet smile forming on her face.  Her head tilts at him, just a short angle, but enough that it makes him feel weak in the knees.  “Don’t you think?” 
No, there’s still time to take this all back, there’s still time to fix this.  There’s still time for him to end whatever is happening now and forget that it ever happened.
The faint nod he gives is only received due to the movement of his wet hair.  He’s not sure why he’s agreeing with her, but the logical corner of his brain was being squandered by his body’s instant reaction to be honest with her, to comfort her, to make everything okay, anything to keep her from crying.
“Too late?” He echoes the words curiously.  
Her smile softens as she nods back at him again, her free hand touching his jaw, so lightly he wants nothing more than to grab her wrist and press her hand into his face until the warmth of her small palm against his jaw was the only thing that he could feel.
She nods back at him, her lips pursing towards the corner of her mouth as she fights the urge to grin back at him.
“Afraid so,” She murmurs back.
They share small smiles and warm cheeks for a moment, and (y/n) becomes a little more sure of herself as she lays her fingers against the length of his jaw.
“But either way, are you gonna let me fess up now?” She asks, and it seems she really was waiting for his approval.  “I walked all this way in the rain, you know-” 
“When you have my number” He reminds her, and she laughs again, quiet and sweet.
“I felt like the walk” 
“During a huge storm?”
“Needed the air” 
“You’re soaked to the bone, you’re still shivering” 
“And it’s so bad that I wanted to come ‘n see you?” 
“I’m in love with you,” 
The bantering ends there.  (y/n’s) eyes double in size, and her shaking fingers finally still against his skin.  There’s no doubt that she heard him, but with how frozen she is before him now it was as if he suddenly lost the ability to understand the language.
Yuji’s cradling her face again, his hands cupped under her jaw and his face so close she could almost tear up again.
“I’m so in love with you,” He says it again for good measure, or just because he couldn’t hold it back now that it was out there.  “I…” He shakes his head, a breathless laugh escaping him, before he can’t help but confess one more time.  “I love you” 
“I love you too” It comes out so fast, as if the blockage in her throat was suddenly removed.  It’s followed by the faintest of smiles at first, timid and sweet- it’s the most innocent he’s ever seen her look.  
(Compared to the twisted grins she’d wear on assignments and even while training on her own, at least)
The shy smile quickly spreads wider, until it’s a goofy and toothy grin.  She can’t contain the spurts of giggles that escape her, because it’s just all too cliche isn’t it? Getting caught in the rain, sharing confessions that might be better left unsaid- and yet they just couldn’t help themselves.
He’s laughing with her, quiet and soft, before his hands drop to her hips and wind around her waist, tugging her against him in a tight hug. 
The sticky wet clothes make them both chilly again, but no one seems to mind.  Not when she’s wrapping her arms around his neck so tight that their wet clothes are clinging together.  They hang on as tight as they can before the wet clothes become too much of a hindrance, and they have to peel apart.
“C’mon,” Yuji’s quick to sling his arm around her waist and pull her towards the door.  “Let’s get some dry clothes” 
She follows him in, keeping as close as she can and walking on the tips of her toes once they’re inside, just to be sure that they wouldn’t be heard.  Even though the thunder was still rolling outside, Megumi was a known light sleeper, and they wouldn’t put it past him to wake up at the slightest creak of a floorboard.
“And something to eat, too?” She whispers, peeking up at him with hopeful eyes.
Yuji nods, smiling back at her.  It was ridiculously late, they surely wouldn’t be getting enough sleep to be well rested tomorrow, but that was a problem for tomorrow.
“Anything in mind?” He asks as they creep their way through the halls.  The smile she gives him in return suggests that she already knew exactly what she wanted.  Yuji can’t say he’s surprised when she answers.
“Meatballs…?” 
And it might be a ridiculous ask- because it’s two in the morning and it’ll be at least an hour before they could actually eat the meatballs, but Yuji beams at the suggestion, and agrees to the request right away.
“It’s about time I teach you how to make them, anyways” He says softly.
“Yeah,” (y/n) agreed, whispering just as carefully.  “I’d like that a lot” 
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
[ lost but now i am found // i can see that once i was blind // tryna take what i could get, scared that i couldn’t find all the answers honey ]
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
xoxo ~ jordie
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dandelionjack · 7 months ago
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actually actually… buckle in for some more unnecessarily detailed baseless speculation*. because it’s fun and there’s still 2 weeks to go (*stop accusing me of TJLCery i’m going to cry)
so, since rogue is the pre-finale episode… as a pattern those tend to begin in the manner of your average doccy who story, but finish with a devastating plot twist denouement to segue into the two-parter at the end. best examples of this are utopia and (gotta hand it to s12 here) the haunting of villa diodati. “it’s a celebrity historical! byron and the shelleys are here! oh and oops… what’s that? that’s the sound of the doctor making a fatal mistake that will inevitably lead her to the narrative climax…”
now what i’m getting at is. what if we’ve all been looking in the wrong place and rogue, not TLORS, is the episode by the end of which the doctor figures out that they’re stuck inside a TV show that’s been remixing old stories from their former adventures? “bridgerton! regency era! jane austen! flirting! ballgowns! dancing! oh and oops… what’s that? that’s the sound of doctor making a tragic discovery that will inevitably lead him to the narrative climax…”
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here’s how this ties in to the popular “jonathan groff = recast harkness” theory. now, i USED to be an ardent proponent of it, but i no longer believe he’s actually playing pre-TEC/TDD captain jack, or any era captain jack at all, really. what he is playing, or so i gather apropos of crumbs and wisps of information, is a remarkably harkness-like character. just alike enough to make us (and the doctor!!) wonder: am i getting deja vu?? has rtd devolved into a hack who’s been reusing his old ideas and hoping we won’t notice?
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no. look at the sneaky incorporation of The Doctor Dances’ title in the DWM paragraph above. he’s hoping we do.
it’s been pretty much confirmed by ~inside sources~ (read: leaks on reddit from ages ago) that groff’s playing either a time agent or former time agent — judging by the description above, it’s “former time agent turned bounty hunter”. charming, handsome rizzlord fella from the future (what’s that blaster in this hand? could it be from the villengard factories?), adept at blending in with a british historical period despite sounding noticeably american, actively involved in the social life of that historical era, morally grey and antagonistic towards the doctor at first, yet strangely alluring… sexual tension heavily implied… we’re supposed to feel like we’ve seen all this before. this man is a Not-Harkness.
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change the doctor’s life forever is the key sentence here. as the doctor realises how remarkably similar groff-“rogue” is to jack when he first met him, and how the circumstances of their meeting almost rhyme too, he’ll notice some more odd things.
he’ll notice. he’ll notice how ruby looks like clara, waited for him while she aged like amy did, called her mum from a future space station looking down through a panoramic window at a planet like rose had, how their relationship is a best friendship/sibling-esque like with donna … he’ll notice how many of their adventures together seem to retread steps already walked. and then the puzzle will click into shape and it will “change the doctor’s life forever”: he’ll discover that this is a puppet show and go searching for whoever’s pulling the strings.
Not-Harkness “Rogue” Groff is the catalyst. the final straw.
or maybe not. maybe this is complete waffle i pulled out of my arse. only time will tell
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feyhunter78 · 1 year ago
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Breakdowns in Study Town - Nerd!Miguel
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Description: After a long study session, your emotions get the best of you.
Shout out to @cannolithedarkpoet for the idea!!!
“I can’t do it; I’m going to fail.” You say, slumping down onto the table, burying your head in your arms, the hum of the air conditioner adding to your sensory overload. Your head hurts, your hand hurts, your stomach hurts, everything hurts, and you just want to cry.
“Hey, hey, no you’re not, you’ve almost finished it, just a few more problems to go.” Miguel says, sliding your notebook from under you. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re having trouble with, and I’ll see if I can explain it.”
“Everything. I’m having trouble with everything; I hate this stupid class.” You say, lifting your head slightly to look at him.
He smiles and adjusts his glasses before clicking his pen and beginning to circle several problems on the page in front of him. “Why don’t we break it into sections, then?”
You roll your head to the side, your brain hurts, and the florescent lights are making your eyes water. “Why don’t I just jump off the roof instead, that seems easier.”
“Y/N.” Miguel sighs, running a hand through his hair.
You bite your lip, fatigue pulling at your bones, hunger gnawing at your stomach. You’ve been at this for hours and you still can’t crack it. You just want to go back to your apartment and lay face down on the floor until you feel better. “I can’t do it, this is just not my thing, I’m going to fail, I’ve accepted it.”
“Look, it’s easy, you just need to give it another try.” Miguel urges, the words coming out too fast, too insistent, and they sound harsh, as if he’s annoyed with you and you start to spiral.
He’s annoyed with you, you’re annoying him, because you’re annoying. Stupid and annoying, and honestly, probably not even that pretty so you can’t even coast on your looks because who wants an ugly, annoying, stupid girlfriend? Which is probably why you don’t have a boyfriend, why Miguel would never date you. Stupid, stupid y/n, why did you even think you could do this? Why would you drag him all the way out here when you know you’re not smart enough? And now you’ve wasted so much of his time, and he’s realizing you’re not the fun, pretty sorority girl who just needs a little help. Just a little, enough to be cute and make him feel like a man, but not enough that it burdens him, but now you’re dead weight, an annoyance.
You sit up and start to gather your things, hands shaking as you blink back tears. “Sorry, I—I gotta go, I’m so sorry, I wasted like four hours of your life, I’m just going to study at home and—”
Miguel’s hands catch yours, gently forcing them to still. “Y/N, it’s okay.”
A sob works its way up your throat, escaping past the prison of your tightly pressed lips. “I’m sorry…”
“No, no, hey, hey, why are you apologizing?” His hands are gentle, he’s always so gentle, as he turns you to face him.
“I just—I—” You can’t even get the words out.
He turns your hands in his, rubbing circles into your palms, then the inside of your wrists. “Don’t cry, y/n, it’ll be okay, so what if you don’t do well on this test, the professor said he drops a major test grade at the end of the semester anyways.”
You hang your head, full on sobbing now, unable to hold it in. “That’s not it—it’s, you, you think I’m annoying, and stupid, and I’m not even pretty, and I’m never going to understand anything in this stupid class, so you’re just wasting your time with me.”
“What? Y/N, dulzura, no, no, you’re not annoying, I don’t think that, I’ve never thought that.” Miguel rushes to say, his hands hovering above your shoulders, unsure of whether or not to touch you.
“But I’m stupid, and I’m like average pretty, and I keep making you stay late in the library to help me study and—”
Miguel does something that surprises you. He laughs.
The sound startles you, makes your eyes flicker up to his face, vision blurred with tears as another sob wrenches itself from your chest. “And now you’re laughing at me.”
He cups your face with both hands, fingers spreading out, in your hair, resting on the sides of your neck, his pinkies smoothing over the skin of your pulse point. “You’re funny, you know that?”
You stare at him, confused and miserable.
“Y/N, you’re not stupid, not annoying, not ugly, and you’re not wasting my time.” He says soothingly, his voice low, his hands warm against your skin. “You’re so smart, remember when you won that trivia contest for your sorority? You beat every other team, by yourself. And you’re not annoying, you’re never annoying, I wouldn’t be here if you were.”
You nod weakly, your sobs turning into sniffles, a deranged thought taking hold. “Do you think I’m pretty?”
Miguel’s face tints red and his eyes drop to the floor. “Y/N come on; everyone thinks you’re pretty.”
“But do you?” You ask quietly, your fingers finding purchase in his faded blue sweatshirt.
His eyes meet yours, and they’re stunning, flecked with gold and green, warm, and intent, staring straight into your soul but shying away right before you all but shove it into his hands. He leans into your touch, a subconscious movement that makes your heart flutter. “Creo que eres la chica más hermosa que he visto en mi vida.” Trsl: I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.
Your voice is barely above a whisper, afraid to ruin the moment, to shatter whatever lays between the two of you right now. “I don’t speak Spanish, Miguel, you know this.”
“Yes, dulzura, I think you’re pretty.” He admits, using his thumbs to wipe away the last of your mascara tainted tears.
“I think you’re pretty, too.” You say, biting back a smile when he short-circuits, his eyes darting around the room.
“Thank you…” He stutters out, leaning back suddenly, as if he’s just now realized how close together the two of you are.
Your stomach growls, the sound echoing in the small room.
“Do you want to get food?” You ask, pulling out a compact mirror from your backpack and trying to rid yourself of the remaining mascara stains.
“Sure, I could eat.” He says, his body is turned from you, but you can feel his eyes lingering.
TL: @bat-bae, @nyctophilic0vitnir, @smokeywhalee, @obi-mom-kenobi, @prowlingforfood, @penggion, @crystal-crax, @oharasfilipinawife, @generalkenobitrash, @melsimps, @chrishy973, @farrowroyale, @palesatan, @scaryplanetdestroyer
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highschoolstoryliveson · 26 days ago
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Chloe's Birthday(s)
17
On her seventeenth birthday, Chloe groans as her alarm clock wakes her up. At some point in the night her moms must’ve snuck in to change it from the song it usually plays. Miserably looking at the time, she doesn’t bother hitting snooze, just unplugging the thing entirely. Before she can fall back into bed and pretend to be sick for the day, her phone starts buzzing. 
Accepting the facetime invite, she’s unsurprised to see Chase on some sort of train. His eyes are bright, “Happy birthday, little sis!”
Rubbing her eyes, Chloe can’t help but smile at this. “I’m like an hour older than you, dummy.”
“Maybe so, but I’ve been seventeen for nine more hours than you. So for as long as I’m here, you get to be the younger twin.”
“That’s not… that’s not how any of that works.” She huffs out a laugh and yawns, “Have you had a good day so far?”
“Totally! My host parents got us train tickets to Paris! Originally they wanted to take me to the Louvre but I knew-”
“That if you ever went without me I would kill you, blood be damned?”
“Exactly. So instead we just got to explore- and it’s so beautiful here! And hate to say it, but the bread really lives up to the hype.” 
“Spent your birthday eating bread? And I thought my plans were sad.”
“Hey! I had a piece of bread. I just didn’t bring up the nightclub because I didn’t want to make you jealous.” Chloe rolls her eyes, letting him continue instead of continuing to torture him. It was his birthday too, after all. “And what do you mean? I thought you’d have a bunch of plans with all of your new friends.”
“Yeah, but after last year it all feels too soon, ya know? I just want today to go like normal… but with more chocolate chip pancakes of course.”
“Of course… but Chlo- you really shouldn’t let what Jeanette did ruin your literal birthday.” 
Wincing at the mention of the name, she has to resist the urge to hang up and hide under her covers. “Maybe…”
“You know I’m right.” Blowing some of his blonde hair out of his eye, Chase looks to the side to talk to someone offscreen. “Oh shit- we’re about to get home and Pav says they have another surprise for me. Just…try to do something nice for yourself. Let other people do something nice for you.” 
“I- I’ll try. Love you.”
“Love you too!” And with that he’s gone. Again. She flops back onto her bed and stares at the ceiling, still wondering if she can weasel her way out of going to school. 
16
On her sixteenth birthday, Chloe was woken up by two figures laughing as they tried to sneak into her room. Glad she had the warning, she was prepared when her two best friends jumped into her bed singing ‘happy birthday’ as loudly and off-key as possible. From down the hall she could hear Chase’s friends doing the same thing. 
Katie was quick to bury herself under the covers with Chloe, while Jeanette looked through her closet and picked through outfits until she landed on Chloe’s favorite dress. Tossing the garment onto the bed, her friends left to let her get dressed and to help her moms with breakfast. 
Pulling the dress over head, she noticed that one side of the dress was a bit heavier. Once she had smoothed down any wrinkles, her hand slipped into the left pocket. Fingers wrapping around a tiny box, she pulled the first gift out. 
Gently pulling the ribbon, her heart warmed as she saw a jewelry box. Inside was a locket with a picture of the three of them their freshman year. 
17
Eventually, she accepts that she needs to face the day head on instead of hiding away from it all. Even if Payton is sure to want to do something, there might still be time to stop whatever party she has planned. 
As if.
Still, she takes some extra time pulling herself together. From making sure that her shirt doesn’t have any wrinkles, to taking the time to curl her hair, Chloe lets herself pretend for at least a moment that it’ll just be a normal day. Maybe above average, with people being nicer and the occasional ‘happy birthday’ being murmured her way. 
Before she leaves for breakfast, she stops by the large rat cage in the corner of the room. Their cage is a strange mish mash of decorations, each one of her friends pitching something in. Taking her boys gently into her hands and putting them on her shoulder as she fills their food bowls, Chloe giggles as freckles licks her cheek. “Yeah yeah, sweet boys, thank you. We’ll make sure to do something for your birthday too.” 
While making her way downstairs, she’s not surprised by the smell of pancake batter and burning chocolate. Both of her moms are in the kitchen- Stacy covered in pancake batter and Jill in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. There’s a mark on Jill’s cheek that matches Stacy’s lipstick. 
“I thought we agreed no chocolate chip pancakes this year…after-”
Cutting her off and grabbing her shoulders, her mom leads her to the table. “And we listened, Sweetheart.” Kissing her cheek and leaving her with a mark to match her mom’s, she watches as they both go into the kitchen. While waiting for them to come back, Chloe takes a quick photo of the lipstick mark on her cheek before wiping it off with a napkin. A sting goes through her heart as she remembers that this is the first year Chase won’t have a matching one. 
Still, her face lights up when she sees the strawberry covered pancakes. “Chocolate chip and strawberry pancakes.” They set the plate in front of her with a flourish, steam still wafting off them. Swatting Chloe’s hand away when she tries to eat, Stacy quickly adds the whipped cream and sticks a candle in the middle dollop. “Make a wish.” 
Instead of doing so, Chloe blows out the candle and gives both of her moms a kiss on the cheek, thanking them before digging into her breakfast. 
16
Every year, her moms made the same mistake. And every year, breakfast would end with both of the twins needing to wash the whipped cream off of their faces and out of their hair because the cans had been left on the table. The dining room had been a bit crowded, Chloe with her two best friends, Chase and his four buddies from whatever he got up to after school, two of their aunts, and their moms- but it had been so full of cheer and love no one even thought to complain. 
“You should probably head out, if you don’t want to be late.” Jill advised her children while picking up the towels everyone had used to clean up. 
Pouting, Chase crossed his arms. “It’s our birthday and you’re making us take the bus?”
“Yeah! Come on, Mrs. M, don’t leave our bro hanging!” Mike or Kale or whoever the brunette slacker was stood up for them. Chloe would’ve felt bad about not knowing her brother’s friends’ names, but he changed his friend group every few weeks. At this point it was better not to get attached. 
“And who said you were taking the bus?” Stacy’s smile promised something amazing, “Look outside.” 
Seeing the two cars with large red bows on the top, neither twin had to ask what car was theirs. Chase ran over to the black used convertible with a cheer, jumping over the door and into the front seat. Only one of his friends could fit into the car with them, but he told them all to find their own rides and drove off- no doubt in anyone's mind that he would be skipping school that day. 
Smiling at his antics, Chloe made her way to the lime green beetle. Katie joined her in the front while Jeanette sat in the backseat. As she looked through the glovebox and dash, she found two more wrapped gifts. “Guys? How many of these are there?” 
“You’ll just have to see~” Katie sang into her ear
Tearing open the paper, Chloe smiled down at the photo of the three of them during the winter formal. Chloe’s dress was a size too big, Jeanette’s at the time new braces had pretty much forced her face into a semi-permanent grimace, and Katie had yet to perfect her technique for dying her hair so half of the red had already faded. It was perfect. 
“You guys-” she felt a little choked up, and it was hard to keep her voice high. Luckily, she had told both of them over the summer and they had been accepting. Lowering her voice slightly as she cleared her throat, Chloe ignored the side glance from the back seat. They were in the middle of nowhere Alabama- it was going to be jarring. She was just glad that neither of them hated her for it or tried to say that she wasn’t like them. 
17
Just as Chloe reaches for the door handle to drive herself to school, a knock startles her. When she opens the door, it’s to Autumn, Mia, and Payton standing with a box of cupcakes. “Happy birthday!” Payton sings, gracefully pushing past her and walking inside. 
“Guys, I thought we agreed not to do anything.” 
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Mia tilts her head towards Payton before grabbing a red velvet cupcake for herself and offering one to Chloe. 
After a bite, the pink haired girl huffed. “You’re lucky these are good.” 
Luckily, for the most part that was all anyone had planned for the day. Sure, every time someone passes Chloe in the hall they wish her a happy birthday, but that’s all she was wanting. Letting herself fall back into the chaos of things, she can almost forget what happened last year. 
16
In every single one of her classes, she found a tiny gift somewhere in or on her desk. She collected a mood ring, some heart earrings, and a signed poster from THE Claire Swanson. Even on the walk back to her car after school, Chloe spotted a gift tucked into a branch in the tree right next to the exit. In the box was a leather bound custom journal from Katie and a blue sweater from Jeanette.
Running her fingers over the soft fabric and looking at the thick cut pages of the journals, Chloe stopped holding herself back and tackled her two best friends in a crushing hug. “You two are the most amazing friends in the world.”
“Right back at ya.” Jeanette’s hold had been tight and protective around her while Katie nuzzled into the space between her neck and shoulder. It was almost overwhelming to feel so loved by two people. Chloe felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have them in her life. 
17
Chloe wishes that any of her friends knew how to be subtle. Not only was Payton’s wild goose chase an obvious way to waste time, but every single one of her friends cars immediately turned to the route to get to her house when they left. Starting to wonder how any of them were able to come off as suspicious or threatening in the beginning, she sighs and begins the doomed search for Payton’s lip gloss. 
An hour later, she gets a text saying that Payton actually just found the tube of glittery paste in her pocket and Chloe is good to go home. Sending a thumbs up in response, Chloe wonders if it’s too late to join her brother in Europe. 
“You know, making them wait isn’t going to stop the party.” A voice comes behind her. Chloe jumps and turns to see Beckett with a few books in his arms. “Just going to worry them.” 
“Well maybe I’ll let them worry,” She crosses her arms and slides down the wall and onto the floor. “I told them I didn’t want a party.” 
Sitting next to her, Beckett lets Chloe lean against his arm. “And I’m sure that they believed that you, Chloe Smith-McMannon, who throws the second most parties in this school, really meant that.” 
“Well I did.”
“Why?” He tilts his head, looking uncannily like his puppy, “I feel like you more than anyone deserve a day of people celebrating you. I mean look at how much you’ve done for this place, and it’s your first year in this state. Everyone at this school is coming from… something, and you gave them a home. Let them sing a few songs for you and shower you with affection.” 
Sighing, she leans into her friend's comfort for just a little bit longer. “You know, most exes don’t stay behind to talk their old partners into going to her own surprise party.” 
“Then I’m glad I don’t see you as an ex.” He stands up and offers his hand to help her up, “Just a best friend.” 
“You’re a cornball, you know that?” She accepts his hand. 
“And damn proud of it.” 
16
After school, the trio made their way to the skate park. Occasionally Chloe and Chase liked to rollerskate on the ramps or in the dip, but her skates were at home and her brother was god knows where. So instead they made their way to an unoccupied ramp, climbed to the top, and watched as Jeanette lit a joint for herself. 
Both Katie and Chloe were too terrified to ever try smoking- so they just sat beside her and watched. They had done this enough times that their noses didn’t even wrinkle at the smell of Jeanette’s subpar weed. 
For a while, they just basked in the silence. Chloe had long closed her eyes and been basking in the sun when she heard the scrape of wheels against old wood. Her eyes opened in time to see Wilbur Diaz- a senior she had known (and had a huge crush on) since freshman orientation. “Hear it’s your birthday, McMannon.” He said, catching himself on the ramp and pulling himself up with one hand to sit next to her. 
“Yep! Officially sixteen- can you see a difference?” 
At first he just jokingly glanced her over, but then he leaned in for a ‘closer look’. He was so close that Chloe could feel his soft breaths against her lips, and it wouldn’t take much for either of them to close the distance. “Nah, still cute.” 
“Hi, Wilbur!” Jeanette spoke up, effectively ruining the moment. 
“Hey, Jean.” he nodded at her before turning his attention back to Chloe, “So I was thinking, since I was a total dumbass for not getting you anything today- maybe I could make it up to you. Take you to my ma’s restaurant in the city?” He nervously picked at his thumb, and Chloe covered his hand with her own. 
“I’d love to.” 
17
Exactly like Chloe expected, her friends’ cars line the streets and all of the lights in the house are obviously turned off when she steps out of the car. Ignoring the loud shushing, she does her best to act shocked when everyone pops up from behind her furniture to yell ‘surprise!’ 
The first thing she does is hug Payton. “Thank you.” 
“Of course!” Excitedly taking her hands, Payton cheers, “Let's do gifts!”
“Don’t people usually save that for the end?” Chloe laughs as she’s dragged to the dining room- saying hello to everyone she can as they pass by. The table is piled reasonably high with gifts. 
With eyes somehow brighter than when she saw a puppy, Payton shook her head. “Who cares what people usually do? I’m SO excited for you to see what we all got you.” 
16
Jeanette had been quiet ever since the skate park, and it wasn’t until they were already halfway to Chloe’s house that she finally spoke up. “I’m actually not feeling great, could you drop me off at home?”
“Oh.” Chloe deflated slightly and turned back in concern, “Are you okay? I’m sure my moms have some-”
“And I’m sure I want to go home.” Jeanette snapped, cutting her off. 
“Right.” Chloe changed the directions on her phone. Still, her expression rose a little when Katie put her hand over her’s. At least this wouldn’t be a total wash, she’d still have her best friend with her. She wasn’t going to let something so small ruin her birthday. Jeanette would get over… whatever was making her so angry, and they’d all be okay. 
17
Going through all of the gifts, Chloe almost isn’t able to handle how oppressive everyone's affection becomes. Kallie gets her a pink teddy bear with a little clown hat and collar, Sakura and Nishan surprise her with an almost suspiciously large pile of all of their favorite games for her Xbox (Nishan says they split the cost, but Chloe knows how decent Sakura is at pirating games she thinks are too expensive), Mia and Ezra give her a CD with a professionally mixed version of the song she had originally made for the band’s first album. 
“I finally got them to sit down and listen to it-”
“And it’s awesome! Oh my god we need to do more fun stuff like that with your fiddle.”
“We’re also going to put it on the band’s website, as an introduction to our sound.”
In the gift from Payton, Chloe pulls out two tiny suits intricately sewn to fit her rats. They even have little nametags, ‘Freckles’ and ‘Bunch’ written in careful and tiny script. “What kind of fairy godmother would I be to them if I forgot them on your special day??”
Lastly, she makes her way over to the largest gift. Even if the wrapping paper wasn’t made of photos of the two of them hanging out, Chloe would know it was from Autumn. Carefully unwrapping the gift to keep the paper in tact, she’s rendered speechless by the painting revealed. 
It’s the day she came out to Autumn. The two of them are walking on the boardwalk with ice cream- tastefully colored to represent the trans flag. The both of them look realistic, but also the vibrant colors Autumn used almost makes it look like they’re glowing. With tears in her eyes, Chloe attacks her best friend in a hug- uncaring of Wes being knocked off balance next to her. “This is the most amazing thing anyone’s ever done for me!” She mumbled, struggling to hold back tears of joy. 
“I’m glad.” Gentle arms wrapped themselves around her, “I just wanted to capture how beautiful and amazing you are…I’m glad that I was able to get close.” 
After that, she’s able to really start enjoying herself. They order pizza and have too much cake, watch her favorite horror movies, and play truth or dare- ending with Chloe and Julian sharing the most awkward kiss in the history of the universe. 
As she melts into the couch next to her friends, squished between Payton and Wes and all the happier for it, her phone dings. She looks down to see a message from Katie, just a simple ‘Happy birthday, Sweetness’. Feeling her throat filling with bile and eyes stinging with tears, she quickly excuses herself and rushes outside. 
Noticing the haste that she left in, Wes shifts to glance at her phone. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth pulls back into the beginning of a frown. Grabbing his bag, he shifts through for a second until finding what he was looking for. “I’m going to take a smoke break, be right back.” 
“You know those things will kill you one day.” Autumn chides, but she’s still smiling and leans in to let him kiss her cheek before he goes outside. 
Sitting on the bench in the backyard, Chloe is only given a few seconds warning that someone is coming. Stifling her sobs and palming away the tears and makeup on her cheeks, she looks up to see Wes walk outside. Despite knowing that she looks like a mess, he doesn’t say anything when he sits next to her. He just lights his cigarette and after a moment, offers it to her. 
Ignoring the butterflies in her stomach when their fingers touch, Chloe takes the cigarette from him and takes a large inhale from it. Letting the smoke pass her lips, the nicotine rushes through her system and forces her back into the moment. 
They smoke in silence, passing the cigarette back and forth until it’s nothing but the butt. Tossing it into his bag to deal with later, Wes pulls a large stack of papers out of his bag. 
“What’s that?”
“Your birthday gift.” He hands the stack over, and she’s faced with maybe a hundred pictures. Some of the tweets sent out when the ‘news’ broke at her old school, some of photos of her, Jeanette, and Katie, and somehow there’s the message sent to Wilbur telling him about her not an hour after they had left the skate park. 
“Without explanation, this is a really shitty gift, Wes.” 
Smirking, he digs in his pocket, “Good thing that’s not all of it.” Finally, he pulls out his lighter and hands it over. “You shouldn’t let those bitches ruin your birthday. Jeanette ruined your life and Katie left you out to dry. Some fucking friends.” Chloe went to correct him but was interrupted by the lump in her throat. “It’s time to stop letting them get to you. Burn that shit to the ground.”
“You’re insane.” Still, she leads him over to the fire pit and sets the papers down. The two of them huddle in the chill night air and watch as the bitter memories go up in flames. 
From the window, Stacy and Jill watch as their little girl leans into the arms of one of her friends. Stacy reaches out to clutch her wife’s hand, and the two share a knowing look when they see how the teens are looking at each other. “I’m glad she’s finally learning to trust again.”
“Me too. I’m so proud of her, you know?”
The Next Day
Just as she’s getting out of homeroom, Chloe gets a frantic text from Payton. ‘SOS- Student clubs protesting’
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writer-rubes · 3 months ago
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Tickletober: Day 1
A/N: I’m gonna try this for once. I can’t promise I’ll stick with this, but I will attempt to get through thirty days. I will do my best uwu
Anyways, here is Day 1. I will post the list, and the ref of the character used here at the end :) Enjoy!
So Many Options
An OC Fanfic
CW: Teasing, Mega Teasing, Fluff, Implied tickles, actual tickles, flustering
Tickletober - Day 1: Anticipation
“Oh, little friend. Are you ready to play~?”
A wave of shyness hit her newest friend. The strings holding them in place were not budging, no matter how hard they struggled. Makes sense. They were made by a deity after all.
“Aw, what’s wrong, dear friend? A little too ticklish and shy for your own good~? You can’t wait for your dose of tickles?~” Kendra, the Deity of Positivity, had a friend with her. They were incredibly cute, and with consent, they were brought to her dimension to play.
“C’mon friend~ You know I’m going to get you~” Kendra teasingly wiggled her fingers at them, causing them to giggle.
“Kendra, please!” They whined as they giggled. Kendra merely chuckled.
“Aw, what’s the matter?~” She teased lovingly, still taunting them with her wiggling fingers. “Are you giggling because you’re imagining my wiggling fingers on your tickle spots?~”
They couldn’t stop giggling now. Even if they tried. And they have, about eight times already. But they were too giggly, and Kendra had them right where she wanted.
“Maybe here would be a good spot?” She wiggled her fingers just above their tummy. “It’s a classic. Soft, cute, and incredibly ticklish~”
Her friend widened their eyes. They knew what she was doing. And it was killing them.
“Or here?” She hovered her wiggly fingers just above their underarms. “Little pockets of soft skin, with bundles of nerves just waiting to be tickled~ It’s so cute. I wonder if I should keep your arms up, or have you trap my hands there. The only way to get them out is if you raise your arms~”
They squeaked. This was too much already, but they knew that Kendra was just playing. But did she have to be so mean?
Well, they did love her because she was a mean tickler…
“Or maybe, a lower territory~” She turned around, and hovered her wiggling fingers at their feet.
“Here, maybe? A common spot for many of my friends.” She cooed. “I could play This Little Piggy, scratch them like they’re itchy, or even tickle them with feathers~ You like those, right?~”
At this point, they couldn’t stop giggling. Kendra was melting them like an ice cream cone on a beach. She was so good at this.
“Or perhaps… here?” She moved her wiggling fingers up to the torso again. “I’ve never gotten the chance to count human ribs before. I always heard there were twenty four of them in the average human body… But I’m not sure. As a clay deity, I don’t have bones~”
They knew that game… Counting ribs. If they squirmed and laughed too much, she would have to start all over again… And it would go on for hours.
“Or maybe even here?~” She cooed. “The ears and neck are fun. The neck has so many pretty, adorable nerves. And the ears I can tickle with a blow, or my own voice, like this~”
She leaned up to their ear, a gentle, loving smirk on her face. She could tell they loved this. She wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t. She gently whispered into their ear…
“Tickle, tickle, tickle~”
That made them squeal. She was riling them up so bad and she technically hasn’t even touched them. It was so much already, they just wanted her to tickle them already!
“Oh, is that the case?~”
Shit. They forgot she could pick up on their thoughts.
“Well… how about I go over each spot? One by one?~” She moved herself back down to the torso.
“Starting with this soft tummy~”
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Prompt list: Made by August
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Pink: Kendra Fics
Yellow: Fnaf DCA/ Sun and Moon Show fics
White: Skip
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Picture of Kendra!
Commissioned by @jav-animations ! Thank you again! :) Go commission them!
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ladykailitha · 2 years ago
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Ser Stephan of Harring’s Town Part 1
Just like with Little Runaway the tagging cap is at 20.
*
Steve had finally been convinced to join the Hellfire Club’s main campaign. It actually took Mike begging him to join, that finally convinced him. Though Mike only did it to impress Eddie and Will, but Steve going to take it as a win regardless.
So he offered to have it at his place so that when this went to shit like it did last time, he’d have somewhere else he could go, but still be able to take kids home.
Eddie and Dustin arrived early to help set up and get things ready for the session.
Eddie handed Steve a small velvet pouch that rattled when it dropped into his hand.
“What’s this?” Steve asked furrowing his brow.
“Open it,” Dustin said bouncing on his heels excitedly.
Steve opened the bag and poured out the contents into his other hand. In his hand were yellow and orange dice with black numbers.
“Oh wow,” he whispered. “These are neat.”
“They’re yours!” Dustin said. “Every player has to have their own set.”
Steve smiled. “Thanks, guys.”
Soon everyone arrived and got settled in, Eddie in the DM’s chair, Steve to his right and Will to his left. Dustin was on Steve’s other side. Mike was next to Will and Erica and Lucas were at the far end of the table.
Steve looked around at everyone’s character sheet and then looked at Eddie. “Do we have time to roll up a character for me? I kinda forgot we needed to.”
Eddie smiled and handed Steve a piece of paper with a flourish. Steve took it gingerly.
He frowned. “Ser Stephan of Harring’s Town?”
“Yup!” Eddie said popping the last consonant. “We talked about it and figured the best way to introduce you to the game is to get you used to the game mechanics first. Your character is you. All you have to do is act like you would act and we’ll guide you through the rest of it.”
“I’m a barbarian?” he asked softly. “That‒that doesn’t sound very cool.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Erica said. “Barbarians were originally just people the Romans thought were inferior, despite getting their asses handed to them on the regular. It might mean someone who is crude now. But it didn’t always.”
“Oh,” Steve said. “It’s a cool thing?”
“Very cool,” Eddie confirmed.
Steve looked down at his character sheet again and the frown deepened. “Is ten in intelligence bad?”
“It’s average,” Lucas said. “No bonuses but no penalties either.”
“So, I’m not smart?” Steve asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Steve sweetheart, you are focusing on the bad. Look that the rest of your stats.”
“Seventeen in strength, fifteen in dexterity, eighteen in constitution, sixteen in wisdom, and fifteen in charisma...” he rattled off. “Okay...but I don’t know what that all means.”
“Strength is how hard you can hit stuff or how much weight you can carry or lift,” Dustin said.
“And seventeen is good?” Steve asked.
“Oh yeah,” Mike said. “Especially for a level one without bonuses. You hit hard.”
Steve nodded feeling a little better. “And what’s dexterity? That’s how quick you move, right?”
“A little,” Will said. “But it’s also how agile you are.”
Steve nodded. “I know what charisma is,” he said with a wink. “And fifteen is above average, right?”
“Yeah,” Erica said. “I had to argue that one to be higher.” She glared at the boys. Who promptly had elsewhere to look.
“And the last one, what’s the difference between intelligence which is low and my wisdom which is high?”
“Intelligence is knowing it’s raining,” Eddie explained. “Wisdom is knowing to bring an umbrella because it was cloudy when you woke up that morning.”
“So I’m smart in a different way?” Steve asked.
“Hell yeah, you are, Stevie,” Eddie said with a grin.
Steve looked down at his sheet one more time. “Anything else I need to know?”
Will looked over at Eddie. “Can I explain rage to him?”
Eddie laughed. “Go for it, Will the Wise.”
“What’s rage?” Steve asked.
“When a barbarian’s hit points drop to a certain range,” Will explained excitedly, “they go into this fugue state where they deal more damage but they sacrifice their intelligence until it wears off or until their hit points reach zero.”
“But I don’t do that,” Steve said, frowning again.
“Honey,” Eddie said gently, “I’ve seen you. You ripped a demobat from tip to tail with your bare hands, shirtless and barefoot. And spat out the blood like it was a bad tasting beer. I’ve never seen anything like it. It was awesome.”
Steve blinked. He vaguely remembered doing that. “Oh.”
“Look at your weapon, Steve,” Mike said excitedly. He was nearly vibrating with anticipation.
“A mace? I don’t know what that is...” He was starting to think that this was all a way for them to make fun of him.
Eddie whipped out the players’ handbook and began flipping through the pages. He stopped and then turned the book over to Steve.
Steve looked down at it awe. “It’s like a badass version of my bat.”
“Exactly!” Mike said. “Isn’t it awesome!”
Steve smiled for the first time since he sat down. “Yeah. Yeah it is.”
“And the final thing,” Lucas said. “Is improvised weapon proficiency.”
Steve raised an eyebrow.
“It means you can pick up anything,” Erica said, “a bottle, a chair, or anything like that and you don’t get an penalties for your attack rolls.”
Steve thought for a moment. “Oh you mean like I did with the phone and the Russians?”
“Exactly!” Erica said.
“Oh.” He looked down at the character sheet with a little bit more enthusiasm.
“So just play the character as is,” Dustin said, patting Steve on the shoulder. “We’ll help you do the game mechanics until you get the hang of it. And then when we start the next campaign you can create your own character and learn to roleplay.”
Steve looked down at his sheet again. “Okay. Yeah. I can handle that.”
“Everyone ready?” Eddie asked. When he got a series of nods and agreements, he began. “You are all in a large tavern that seats about sixty to seventy people. There are three barmaids, a dark-skinned human, a half orc who looks like she could double for security, and a halfling...”
Steve would stop him every once and a while asking questions about what things were or what they meant and each time someone would explain it to him.
Finally they wrap up for the night and Steve is chatting as happily about the campaign as the rest of them.
“Dude!” Lucas said. “Eddie was right, you are a barbarian. A kick ass one, too.”
Steve blushed. “Thanks man. I thought I would be a cleric or a paladin. But I guess not.”
Erica pats him on the back. “Starting with magic users is hard to begin with, and picking something because it looked cool is even harder. I learned that the hard way too.”
“You do realize that you’ve said some variation of the word ‘hard’ three times, right?” Mike teased.
“Shut up,” everyone shot back.
Mike ducked his head, but Steve ruffled his hair. Mike blushed but pushed a laughing Steve off him.
Will raised an eyebrow, but wisely said nothing.
“So, big boy,” Eddie said, strolling up to the party. “You coming back for round two?”
Everyone turned to look at Steve with baited breath.
“Hell, yeah!”
And cheer went up.
“You hear that, Eddie?” Dustin asked jumping up and down. “He’s coming back!!”
Eddie just smiled at Steve.
Steve ducked his head and blushed.
“Okay,” he said with a cough. “Who am I taking home and who’s going with Eddie?”
Mike and Sinclairs went with Eddie and Will and Dustin went with Steve.
Dustin crawled in the back seat, like he always did when he was too hyper for the front seat. Something Steve insisted on, so that he could actually drive.
Will got into the front seat. “I’m glad you had fun, Steve.”
Steve grinned. “Me, too...though I will admit it wasn’t looking very good to start with.”
“I told them we should have started with the fun stuff so that the other stuff didn’t come out as insulting, but no...” Will muttered.
“It wasn’t insulting!” Dustin protested. He paused. “Was it, Steve?”
Steve looked in the mirror and smiled softly at the crestfallen look on his young friend’s face.
“Nah, Eddie was right,” Steve said. “I was focusing on the negative.”
“Because you’d been burned before,” Will defended. “Which is why I wanted to start with your weapons and your feat. Because that stuff is badass.”
Steve grinned again. “Hell, yeah that was. Who knew that medieval weaponry could be so cool. I thought it was just axes and swords with maybe bows and arrows.”
“There is way more to it than that,” Dustin said, his enthusiasm coming back. “There are spears and morningstars and war hammers. All sorts of cool stuff.”
They chatted about medieval weapons until the dropped Dustin off. As soon as they had pulled away from the curb Will spoke.
“I have something for you,” he said digging something out his bag. Steve glanced down at the drawing and smiled.
“That’s awesome, Will,” Steve said with a grin. “My very own Will Byers original. Is that supposed to be me?”
Will nodded. “Yeah. I just didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone.”
Steve’s eyebrows went up. “Because you thought I wouldn’t like it?”
Will shook his head. “I didn’t want draw everyone’s characters.”
“Down side of being an artist, unfortunately,” Steve agreed. “If you play an instrument they demand you play something for them, if you draw, draw something for them, I think the only time people don’t demand art from you is when you’re a writer, but they always ask if you’ve written a book.”
Will frowned. “Sounds like you know from experience.”
Steve glanced at him and smiled. “Don’t tell anyone else, but I draw, too.”
“You do?”
“Not like you,” Steve admitted. “It’s not very good. But it’s fun and I enjoy it.”
“Can I see some?” Will asked tentatively.
“Sure,” Steve said. “Like I said, I’m not very impressive, but come over tomorrow. I don’t have work.”
“I’d like that,” Will said softly. 
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7
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livelaughlovesubs · 1 year ago
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Hey Nini! Idk if you have the time to do this but could you write a fluff were a bsd character (any that you wanna pick!) comforts reader that is starting to feel insecure about the way they look and also worrying that theyre being a bad partner? You can ignore this if youre too busy!
Hey~ sorry for the wait love, I’ve been… on motivation reserving modus haha
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It was ironic, really. You, who was equivalent to nothing, dating someone like them. They were so pretty, so beautiful and handsome in your eyes. Not only that, so talented too, as if they were good at everything. While you on the other hand were barely keeping yourself above the water and owning a sickly looking conditions as if you never knew what sleep was. Maybe it was due to your adoration for your partner, but they were perfect, and you weren’t.
You have always wanted the best for them, tried your utmost with everything to keep them satisfied, yet it all seems futile in comparison to what they can do. What you did wasn’t grandios enough, wasn’t special enough, not enough efforts, not good enough, you didn’t deserve them. This thought crossed your mind so often, how they were so much better at everything then you, how they would be better off without you, but you were egoistic and still wanted to keep being by their side. Such a terrible partner you were, weighing your significant other down, they are losing their potential by hanging out with someone like you, someone who can’t even do half as well as them.
Good lord, you were truly egoistic, even now you wanted to keep being with them. Whenever you looked into the mirror the, first thought filling your senses would be a complain, about single body parts that just aren’t satisfactory. You were dreading your own body more and more, it was awful. Of course you didn’t want to hate yourself like that, but you couldn’t help it. Not when they were so good, not when you were so bad.
You were cuddling with them on your couch, limps tangled together. Ah, they smelled so nice.. their akin was very soft and tender too, not to mention how gorgeous they look today too. You wondered if you looked alright, maybe you shouldn’t let yourself be seen with them in public. Their arms wrapped around your body, holding you tightly while sighing in content. “Y/n, I really like you.” They uttered, breath hitting your skin, it tickled you slightly. “You are really too good for me, I love you too.” “What do you mean too good? It’s more the other way around!” Your lovely partner was giggling, watching them having fun felt so nice. “I mean it, you are so perfect and beautiful in comparison to me.” Somehow the mood dropped after you finished your sentence, their eyes also widened a little. “What do you mean in comparison? You are amazing too.” “No way, me? I mean, I’m at best average, but you…” you stopped yourself from speaking, because them seemed somewhat uncomfortable now. “Is.. something wrong?” There you go again, ruining everything, it must have been something you said… how clumsy can one even be?
They opened their mouth, about to say anything, before pressing their lips together. An awkward silence broke out, none of you moved. Luckily for you, they attempted to do the first move again, whispering, “do you always think like that?” This took you by surprise, so you answered, “what?” “That I’m so much better than you? That you don’t deserve this?” The look in their eyes seemed bitter, it made your heart ache. “Ah, well..” you knew that they would worry if you told them the truth, about how depressed your thoughts have been lately.
“There is no need to feel that way, you know that.” Your darling told you, a firm and serious expression now present on their features. You were such an indict, then wasn’t something they needed to know, it was a you problem, and a pathetic one at that. “I know I know, let’s just put that matter aside for now, okay?” “No, don’t talk your way out of this now. Tell me, what is it that you are worrying about?” Ah, if they use that tone, you know you have to tell them or they will keep bothering you. “Well, I wondered if I’ve been a good partner.” “Why are you doubting yourself? You have been great.” “I don’t know, it’s just compared to you-” “but you know I love you a lot.” “That.. I-” The discussion was going nowhere, you didn’t want to burden them with your useless problems, how did it come to this?
“Y/n, there are so many things I love about you, so many aspects of you that are far more superior to mine. I really admire you. For example the way you look at me, the way you talk, smile, how you make my heart beat faster. I always wonder if I have the same effect on you, and worry if I’m being sincere enough, but that’s why I want to keep being with you, to learn and to show you how much I adore you. Everyone has their own struggles, sometimes it’s not about overcoming them but accepting them and making the best out of it.”
It was weirdly philosophic, and so detailed, as if they prepared years for this speech, but it was also strangely comforting. It would be an understatement to say you were speechless afterwards. After another break of utter silence, you chuckled, then started laughing. “What a grandiose speech, it really suit your personality, pff.” Now they were a little embarrassed, why were you laughing so much? “And here I was, trying to comfort you.” They sighed, almost looking hurt. “Alright, sorry, heh.. thank you, I appreciate it, really.” Even though it was funny and all, you couldn’t deny the effort they poured into it. “Ah.. you truly are too good for me.”
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dark-elf-writes · 7 months ago
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Izuku as a child of Apollo just having a million big brothers/sisters and most are heroes is hilarious. None of fhem are letting their baby brother be bullied. Nope.
Oh god, Snipe, Hawks and Hizashi would be the most protective siblings and if you went ‘bad Inko’ i can juat imagine that custody battle. Hizashi ‘married to high school sweetheart’, Hawks ‘commission agent’ and Snipe ‘has a gun and no issue threatning people’. It would be hilarious.
The children of Apollo normally got along.
Okay well that wasn’t exactly true, but very rarely did they try to shoot at each other or scream the other’s eardrums out which put them head and shoulders over some demigod half-siblings. They weren’t Ares kids after all, they could keep it together.
Or they could, until their newest sibling came along.
Izuku Midoriya was an anomaly, a rare inheritor of their father’s knowledge aspect though just hearing them talk Hizashi swore up and down there was some music talent in there somewhere, and the kid always seemed to know exactly where villain or monster attacks would happen like they could see them coming… even if they took that knowledge and used it to run towards the fights rather than away. They didn’t have the usual look of an Apollo kid (Hizashi was the only one of them that had drawn that card) but it was nearly impossible to miss if someone knew what to look for, and the three heroes definitely knew what to look for.
But Izuku different from a typical Apollo kid or not wasn’t the problem. No the problem was that none of them could agree on what to do with them.
“I’m married!” Hizashi hissed, careful to keep their voice at a normal volume. The last time they had let their quirk slip against one of their brothers they had been dodging feathers for a week and they had no desire to repeat the experience. “And I’m a teacher! I have the best claim to a stable home life as any of us.”
Keigo narrowed his eyes, a feather twisting around his fingers as his annoyance grew. “I’m the Number Three Hero! If any one of us could take care of a kid it’s me!”
Snipe (why their brother had decided he preferred his hero name even in the off hours Hizashi would never understand, but they would honor his wishes) toyed with his gun. The fact that the barrel was pointed away from Hizashi at the moment did nothing to comfort them. It didn’t really matter where he pointed the damn things when dear old dad gave him the ability to curve his bullets.
(Hizashi would be more jealous that both of them got some sort of telekinesis while Hizashi could only be considered slightly above average when it came to anything involving projectiles but really they thought Voice was the coolest.)
“I am the only sane one between us.” Debatable, but again Hizashi wasn’t very interested in catching a bullet even if their brother had swapped them out for nonlethal rounds. They had seen the damage he could do with nerf bullets and the rounds he had were a far cry from those. “And I’m also a teacher. So don’t give me that look Zashi.”
They smoothed their face, cursing themself for letting their annoyance show. Normally they were better than this but their brothers knew just how to get under their skin.
“Um,” All three of them jolted having forgotten their sibling was still there watching them with those wide green eyes so full of wonder. “You don’t have to fight over me. I’m fine. Really.”
They weren’t. The kid’s sleeves weren’t nearly long enough to hide the bruises and fresh burns on their arms and Hizashi was pretty sure they had seen the kid limping before they had finished the fight. As much as they wanted to be picking a fight with their brothers right now… healing first.
And Hizashi was the best healer.
(Ha!)
“You’re not fine, listener,” Their voice went gentle, low, the soothing rumble under it already encouraging healing raven as they knelt beside Izuku. “Our brothers are just being stupid. It’s pretty common experience.”
“Hey!”
“Zashi!”
They smiled, bright. Blinding to anyone who didn’t also have sunlight in their blood. “C’mon. We can head back to my place and get you patched up. Any other… arrangements can be made after you’re healed.”
“I’m coming too!”
“And me!”
Shouta was going to kill them… but at least Hizashi could shove their brothers at him first for canon fodder.
Izuku looked like they might argue but…
“Ours,” they said. “You said they are our brothers.”
Hizashi ran careful fingers over the kid’s cheek. “Ours. We Apollo kids have to stick together after all… even if some of us are annoying.”
“Coming from Queen annoying that says a lot,” Hawks mumbled. Hizashi made a mental note to curse him into speaking in lyrics later. They were pretty sure he had a meeting coming up where that would be particularly annoying.
Izuku looked between the three of them, eyes burning like the noonday sun as they hunted for something in their expressions. But eventually they smiled. “I’ve always wanted big siblings.”
Shit, Hizashi thought. They were going to end up with the most complicated three way custody agreement they just knew it.
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s0lar-ch3ri · 7 months ago
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Paranomally Hotline #1: Introduction
Many people have their own beliefs. They follow in their own superstitions, read about all kinds of monsters, and we hear about new creations of creatures and places daily. Inspired from already set up and built legends, or entirely original myth, you may have made some ideas yourself. At the very least, you've heard of one. However, to the average person, a myth is all they remain.
Sometimes though, the average person isn't so lucky, and stumble apon a truth: these "tall tales" are fact, not fiction, and could come for you at anytime. With the knowledge that these creatures exist, surviving them can be difficult when nobody you turn to has an idea of what you're facing.
Not, unless, you're calling the Paranomally Hotline.
Specialized in dealing with all entities and creatures of out this world, the Paranomally Hotline believes those who call and will help guide you to safety. Available whenever you need (some places may have more or less then 24 hours available), someone skilled and trained for your kind of situation is there to talk to.
If you don't know who to call, ring the numbers-
"God damn, they play whatever on these fuckin things." A man, appearing about mid 30s, turns the TV off. He gets ready for work, brushing his teeth and getting food to eat. He waves goodbye to his wife, a woman with black hair, and walks into the busy sidewalks. Walking among the people, bag on his side, he keeps going until he reaches a corner.
The scene has changed. As he turns this corner, he runs, panicked, running out of breath. He can't run forever, and hiding feels like a death trap. A creature roars out behind him, and all he wants is to go home, back before this happened.
"Someone please come save me, Lord I beg of you now, spare my soul of this fate just a bit longer," he mutters to himself as he slips into an alleyway. Through his panicked thoughts, something slips into his mind, a crystal clear one: a phone number. As he turns on his phone, which he wasn't even aware still had battery, already has a number put in. Not in a state to question it, he hurriedly rings it.
"Hello, you've reached the Paranominally Hotline, here to help with all entities and paranormals, what's got your ghost?"
"Y-you gotta help me! Th-there's a- a thing! And it's chasing me! And- and- I just want to go home, see my wife again!"
"That's what we're going to do. Now, to help figure out how I can assist you, I'll need you to answer a couple questions. First, do you believe you are still in our world, or does it seem home to somewhere else?"
"Wha-what are y- Yeah, no, it- it's all red- the sky- and it's bleeding- oh my god I didn't notice, it's fucking bleeding- I gotta get out of here-"
"Alright, let's keep a level head sir. When did you get here, and if you remember, how?"
He jumped, hearing a loud roar from this creature. "T-today, maybe 3-30 minutes, 25, gi-give or take. I went into the closet at my job and- look, can we hurry this up? There's s-something ch-ch-chasing me, and I think it's going to k-kill me."
"Alright. This is a very necessary procress, but I have an idea on how to help. Can you make it back to where this closet was?"
"Th-that's the way the monster i- you're trying to fucking kill me!"
"Sir, please. I'm trying to get you home. If you can make it over, and I'm thinking of the right thing, grab the string of the lamp above and pull it to turn off the light."
"No- why should I fucking trust yo-"
Another roar plays out. It's closer.
"...Are-"
"If I’m fucking killed, call my wife and tell her I love her."
"Of course."
The man breaks into a sprint and heads out. His legs are aching, but he has to make it, he has to. Looking straight ahead, he goes straight past the beast, about 30 feet tall and blurry as it roars again, following behind. The man begins to silently sob as he sees the building he exited from up ahead. Running inside, he closes the door of the strange building and locks it as best as he can. He runs down a hallway, where a brown closet door awaits him. It's a dingy closet, brown shelves and a blue school chair. Nothing more or less. He slams the door shut as he hears breakage outside and the loud stomps of feet. Muttering a prayer, he grabs the string of the closet's lightbulb and yanks it down as hard as he can.
Everything goes black, but he finds himself on the floor of the closet. It's a storage one, filled with boxes and shelf racks, the same one he walked into, although one of the shelves has been knocked over just inches from where he once laid unconscious. As he questions what just happened, the reality of what he just faced, he hears his phone hang up, the caller name showing.
The Paranominally Hotline.
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faireprina · 2 months ago
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A Love Like no Other ❤️ Pt 2
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a/n : Part 2 is uppp!! Woohooo!!!! I’m working on more content.
Pairings: Aged Up! Killua Zoldyck x OC/Reader
Warnings: mentions of death
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
What the actual hell…
All Mei could do was sit here and look dumb.  Or cute? Dumb cute? cute dumb? Or how about just dumb and cute! The room on the other hand wasn’t cute at all. Dragons on the walls, engraved in the chairs, statues of dragons! Good God this family loves their dragons! I don’t want any part of it. 
Mei has never felt so uncomfortable in her life! The dragons on top of the cold atmosphere were unsettling. First off was this even a room? It felt more like a cellar to Mei. What’s up with the chains and all these dragon heads?
Although, she doesn’t think the 4 individuals sitting across from her would think the same thing. A woman who is wearing very expensive looking Victorian style clothes with a visor on. Looks like she came out of some sci-fi historic movie. A man with black short hair, glasses and in a suit. A child with a kimono on and the white haired boy from before. 
Mei was pretty surprised when she walked though the door and seen him with this group of people. He just stared at her and glared. Understandable sir, Imll just crawl under my bed and won’t come out til next year! Or better yet, I’LL JUST FIND MY WAY BACK TO MY WOLRD!! 
Mei wanted to cry, but now isn’t the time for crying she can worry about that later down the line. Crying < Surviving. 
“Your name is…,” Mei couldn’t tell where the woman was looking at due to the visor.
“Mei! My name is Mei Delaney!” 
“And you don’t have any documentation on you whatsoever, why is that?” The woman’s asked in a suspicious tone.
Mei did not have any an actual answer for this question. She didn’t do any preparing at all for it. So just like her daddy said, FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT! “I’m actually an orphan.”
“An orphan?”
“Yes, an orphan,” It’s not like I’m telling a lie, “I’m sorry is the paper work required?” Will I not be getting a job today?
“No it is not and it is very much preferred!” Her pen scratched in the paper as she wrote some words down. Ew, why is the pen dragon shaped?!?! “Have you had any prior experiences as a butler?”
“Nope!” Unless you count being a slave to your grandparents as one! “Never been one before but I’ve cleaned.”
“Cleaning isn’t all that you will be doing,” It isn’t? What else do butlers do in this world?!?, “What would you say your current level of strength is?”
Mei wouldn’t know how to classify herself. This world’s average could be her worlds above average. Just to be safe,”I would say below average!” 
The man and the white haired boy squinted at her. It was like they were evaluating her to see if she was as weak as she let on. 
“Hmmm,” the woman chewed her ugly dragon headed pen, “Not the best but you are still trainable. I’ll put you in as a cook. Your job will to prepare our meals while also help around the kitchen. You are not a butler just yet you but you can call yourself a butler’s apprentice. Gotiah send her off to the facility!”
Facility?? Wait don’t I get to ask questions?
Before Mei could say a word she is already being escorted out the room.
———————————————————————
It’s her. So far all the applicants were below average, the Zoldyck trainers had their work cut out for them. Killua didn’t think any were going to make it past the first trial, especially her! 
15 days…
She doesn’t know what it really means to be a Zoldyck butler. Hell, she wouldn’t even know what it means to be a Zoldyck! Her and her sunny disposition doesn’t belong here in this world of death and darkness. She looked so gentle and sweet, he wanted to see the light die in her.
———————————————————————
At least I’m not in the ugly ass room anymore. The walk to the facility felt like a hike up the Appalachian trails and Mei was not exaggerating. She suspected that they were prolonging the walk by taking unnecessary paths and picking the toughest ground to walk on. Mai wasn’t sure how much she could take of this especially with this oversized bag on her back. She knew she should’ve packed less. The 2 men she was walking with didn’t even seem to be phased!!
Luckily for Mei she could see the building coming into view and sure enough it was as big as the cellar building. I wonder how big the mansion is, if this is what this building looks like…
Mel could see the other applicants who passed before her. They were all waiting with their belongings. Mei threw her bag down, thanking whatever diety this world worshipped.
 “Yₒᵤ’ᵣₑ Wₑₗcₒₘₑ,” A voice whispered in Mei’s head!
“WHAT?!” That was way louder than what Mei intended it to be as everyone looked at her giving her a confusing look. “Sorry…” Mei was embarrassed now, but WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT VOICE! She hopes transporting to this world hasn’t made her crazy. Dealing with a genetic mutation would make things a lot worse for her.
“You will leave your stuff here and someone will be back with yours shortly.” The 2 butlers she traveled with walked away and disappeared. 
Uh woah?
————————————————————
The sun was beginning to set after some time has passed and others have joined them sitting outside. Mei would say there is about 250 of the 400 that showed up at the moment.
“I heard some people were losing as applicants but were actually hunters looking to capture a Zoldyck or get on their property.” 
“I seen the dead bodies! When I did my interview there were a few piled up on each other. This family is serious!”
Ew gross! Mei was made uncomfortable by the conversations around her about death, and how a single picture of a family member was worth $300 million Jenny (She assumes Jenny is the equivalent to dollars in this world).
SSSCCCHREEEECHHHHH
The huge door opened up and out walked a tall lady with her hair in pigtails. She was pretty buff and looked like she could kill Mei even at her old age.
“Looks like everyone is here that’s has made it through! Let’s get started!”
Oh no…
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ichayalovesyou · 2 years ago
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Tomorrow & Tomorrow & Tomorrow
SPOILERS AHEAD
Oh man you guys! I really enjoyed this episode! I loved it way more than The Broken Circle but I did not love it as much as I loved Ad Astra Per Aspera but that episode was so a cut above the average (as in in the running for best episodes of Trek ever written caliber stuff). That it hardly seems fair to say so because this episode was an absolute JOY to watch! Lol! I love a good time travel romp!
I remembered enjoying Paul Wesley’s Kirk in A Quality of Mercy but I wasn’t sure whether I was just riding the high of the previous season or whether he could pull it off twice. But he did and I really really like his interpretation of Jim. I honestly like it a lot better than Chris Pine’s if I’m super honest with y’all.
I mean he UNDERSTOOD the assignment! He was definitely at his Kirkiest when they initially arrived in the 21st century that body language and cadence was on point despite him not looking too much like Shatner. I mean hats off to the writers too for that one. The passion for chess without being overly cocky. The all of it!
There was something about the hot dogs scene and letting La’an have the bed in the hotel that felt very Tarsus IV even tho that might not have happened in this timeline. It’s still very James Kirk of him. Not to mention the whole bit where his type is overachiever, kinda uptight but also dark and mysterious and dare I say a little out of his league folks. Whom he charms without being pushy into warming up to him and letting their guard down. Also THANK YOU to the writers and to Wesley for recognizing Kirk Drift and acknowledging our boy is a hopeless romantic and NOT a babe hound.
I called the La’an/Kirk thing way before it happened because of it. And from what was implied in the Ready Room interview with Paul Wesley it sounds as though we might get more La’an & Jim content in the future which I certainly wouldn’t object to! Although we are skirting the edge of when Jim & Carol Marcus supposedly met so that might get a lil complicated but the seasons (because they’re sorter) might not be 1:1 with years so they’ve got some wiggle room to work with.
I love seeing the cinematic parallels between Kirk & Jim’s love interest stuff in SNW that clearly draws them to each other later on. Chapel is a lot like Kirk and Spock is falling for her pretty hard. La’an is a lot like Spock by the time we meet him in TOS (not too similar to SNW baby Spock though) and they fell for each other pretty badly too! For example, both La’an & Spock are terrified of Kirk’s insane driving skills (or lack thereof lmao)! But enough about Jim & the whole K/S kitten caboodle! This episode is about LA’AN :D
Holy shit did La’an need what’s been happening with her in these past couple episodes. She got to face her generational trauma headlong, she got to see a mirror in Kirk and further realize the value of enjoying the fleeting and precious joys of life. By both convincing this alternate timeline version of Kirk that her version of the world is worth saving (also not the “Sam’s alive?” 😭 because his older brother dies unexpectedly and tragically in both timelines DONT TOUCH MEEEE, also not the potential Kirk bros content going forward also 😭). To eating the damn hot dog, and presumably letting Kirk talk her into taking the bed and just ugggggh.
And then HE DIES! They fridged Captain James T. Kirk of all people for HER character development lmao how’s THAT for a twist. Historically it’s been the other way around how’s that feel for once Jimbo? Damn!
Sera was an interesting villain, she was a good twist honestly felt like something was up with her the minute she had pics of that romukan ship. Also, I love all the self referential like, “yes we acknowledge this changed a little bit” stuff that’s happened. Like the Temporal Wars are why the Eugenics war is supposed to start around *now* and not the 90s like previously stated and Sera has been trapped trying to fulfill her mission for 30 years. Or how clearly Jim thinks everybody calls his brother George and only he gets to call him Sam when clearly that’s not the case lol. It’s nice little touches like that that really make me feel validated for having faith in the writers when nitpickers complain.
Also PELIA! She’s an art thief?! Incredible! Hilarious! Brilliant! No notes! Although it JUST occurred to me that because La’an went to Pelia before the whole “preventing the timeline from changing entirely” bit does THAT mean that La’an can at least talk to Pelia about what happened?! Because it’s implied La’an is who inspired her to become an engineer and that’s still part of our prime timeline! Maybe it’s like a Guinan and Picard situation! I think La’an should get to sob into the arms of our funky little klepto engineer grandma as a treat instead of breaking down alone in her room, please and thank you!
Anyway, baller episode! 9/10
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yellowkitkieran · 2 years ago
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To Have and To Heal (Part 6)
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Masterlist
Read part 1 here
Word Count: 3.3k
Summary: Single working dad Martin Odegaard is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood all on his own, and he’s struggling. That’s not to mention football, life and... love?
Martin Ødegaard is late.
Being a teacher, tardiness isn't something you normally tolerate. But when the offender is a tall, fit, blonde, Norwegian man that you have a massive crush on, you guess you can grant him a pass. 
You fiddle with the hem of your glittery gold dress, absently wondering if it's too much. You stared at it on the mannequin in the Chanel window display for what felt like hours before you decided you had to have it. You rationalized your outrageous purchase by saying it was a birthday present to yourself, ignoring the fact that you'd bought a pair of boots and said the same thing the week prior. Looking your best tonight was a non negotiable, and as soon as you tried the dress on you knew you had to have it.
Did you nearly drain your savings to afford it? Yes. Do you care? Not really, when you're positive Martin might lose his head at the sight of you in it.
The gold, half-sheer fabric hugs your body in all the right places. The fitted sleeves stop an inch above your wrist, allowing you to showcase the thin gold tennis bracelet passed down by your mum a few years back. The dress falls to your mid thigh, showing plenty of skin whilst also not causing a scandal among your colleagues. The metallic threads woven throughout catch in the club lights, attracting attention from all corners of the room but not from the man you crave most, because he's still to arrive. 
Half heartedly, you wonder if he's forgotten. Or perhaps the lads invited him out at the last minute and Martin decided that a night drinking with his friends sounded more appealing than hanging around at a teacher’s birthday party. 
Jen presses a drink into your hand, confident as ever in her fitted blue party dress. No matter where you are, she is usually the star of the show, but today you’re somewhat glad she’s turned it down a notch. "Quit staring at the door, live a little. He'll show up and if he doesn't, well then guess what! I'll help you find someone to forget about him." Jen touches your elbow, guiding the glass in your hand to your lips. "Drink! Have fun! Let loose and live for once in your life!"
Without a second thought, you down your drink amidst cheers from your friends, slamming the glass to the table when you've finished it. You make eye contact with Martin when you do, who's just walked in the door looking devilishly handsome as always. 
Martin's blonde hair is perfectly messy, one little strand sticking straight up like he'd nervously fiddled with it outside. He wears a red and black flannel unbuttoned over a plain black shirt, and a pair of skinny jeans that his muscular thighs look set to rip out of at any second. Even his shoes are modest, a simple pair of white high top converse. The only thing about him that screams money is the silver watch on his wrist; without it he may as well be an average London boy out for a night of fun. 
Somehow, he's even more gorgeous dressed like this than when he's wearing all designer or an Arsenal tracksuit. You love his modest appearance, like he'd chosen each piece with you in mind, to ensure he did everything he could to keep the spotlight off himself and firmly on you. It's sweet, as is the way he grins when you wave to him. 
Martin comes over and places a book sized box on the table before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Happy birthday, Sunshine,” he says, the greeting rolling off his tongue as easily as a plain hello. “Sorry I’m late.”
"Thanks," you squeak out, then clear your throat. You're determined to get through this night without embarrassing yourself, so you try a touch of banter and say, "I was beginning to worry you forgot about little old me! Party started at eight and it's now… nearly nine, Mar!"
"Ah yes, sorry I know,” Martin apologizes, and you swear a bit of pink finds it’s way to color his cheeks. “It's just that Atla wouldn't let me leave and I wound up having to bribe her with a new set of paints I had been saving for her birthday to convince her to stop clinging to my leg like a little animal." 
Oh God, how selfish of you! Of course Atla wouldn't want her dad to leave her, especially when she isn't used to him going out except for matches, when he'd be gone for days at a time. It’s perfectly reasonable to assume that he wouldn’t want to leave until he knew Atla was settled. 
"Right, I'm sorry! Of course that's why you're late, I shouldn't have assumed. That’s adorable though, that she loves her daddy so much that she couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving!"
Martin waves a hand, his voice like silk as he says, "Ah please it's alright. I should've messaged you or something. Though I would've had to email you through your school account, which you probably wouldn't have seen anyway, I doubt you check that on nights out."
Maybe it's the fact that you've already had enough to drink that you're feeling slightly buzzed, or maybe it's simply your new confidence in this dress, but you hold out your phone to Martin, a blank contact on the screen. "Put your number in then! I'll message you and you'll have it in the future then."
Looking slightly stunned, Martin takes your phone and types in his number before handing it back. "There you go- this is for you by the way, Sunshine," he says and nods towards the box he brought, a timid smile on his pale lips. 
You run your fingers over the red wrapping paper and fiddle with the loops of the bow in the center. "You can call me by my first name, you know, Martin. I thought we were friends and all that?" 
"Ah, but I like Sunshine better… how about if I call you solskinn instead? Would that be acceptable?" 
This man… you swear he knows exactly how to make you fall head over heels. It doesn't seem like he even realizes what he's doing which is the most mind blowing part- how can someone not realize the effect they have on another person? 
You smile when you realize Martin is waiting patiently for an answer and stutter out, "um- yeah, yes that's fine Mar… I'm gonna wager a guess that it's just Sunshine in Norwegian?" When Martin nods, you feel heat creeping up your cheeks, desperately willing them to not burn too brightly. "Yeah, I like that then Martin, you can call me that."
"Good, because it goes with the gift I got you. Go ahead and open it! I'm excited to see if you like it." Martin shifts a foot closer to you until he's inches away. You aren't sure if you're imagining the heat radiating from him or if it's truly there, either way you don't care. When you turn your head to look up at him before you rip off the paper, you have to crane your neck to see his pretty smile and the impatient glint in his eye. His beauty stuns you for a moment, the alcohol in your veins inhibiting your good sense and whispering that it’s a perfectly fine idea for you to stare at him a touch longer than you probably should. 
Jen's sharp elbow to your side brings you back to reality as your best friend saves you for the first time that night. You smile awkwardly at Martin then tear into his gift, gasping when you see the brand embossed in the white box.
"Chanel? Martin what did you do?! I can't accept this-" without opening the lid, you try shoving it towards Martin. Whatever it is, you know it isn't cheap. Martin shouldn't be dropping hundreds of pounds on you when he has Atla at home. 
"Honestly solskinn please, just open it," he murmurs, sliding it towards you again. His hand finds a place between your shoulder blades as he leans in to be heard over the music, "It's customized so I am not allowed to return it anyway. Trust me I can afford it! Please just open it and see. If you truly hate it, I'll pawn it off to one of the lads' girlfriends or something."
Ah, right. It can't be anything too personal then. Hopefully it's something small, though knowing Martin and that look on his face, it's the exact opposite. Taking a deep breath, you place one hand on either side of the box and bring it in front of you. You aren’t sure why you’re so nervous to see what he’s picked out, but something tells you that everything is about to change. 
You pull at the lid, wiggling it free. You're acutely aware of Jen's eyes burrowing into your skull as you peel back the white tissue paper, Martin's hand burning a brand into your skin through the material of your dress. "I hope you like it," he murmurs as you pull out a small, white leather crossbody bag with a tiny sun emblazoned above the clasp. You run your fingers over the gold chain strap and the embossed decoration, not having any idea what to say.
Martin fiddles nervously on your left. Your back suddenly grows cold when he removes his hand, raking his fingers through his hair instead. You're stuck staring at his gift, awestruck by the thought he's put into it as much as its price tag. 
"Uhh… do you like it? If you don't just tell me-"
"I love it," you interrupt, eyes wide when you turn to him. "Honestly Martin it's perfect- thank you so much!"
Without thinking, you throw your arms around Martin's neck for a bone crushing hug. Every muscle in his body goes rigid for a split second, like he's warring with himself. Then his arms engulf you and you nearly sigh when you’re slotted into the perfect fit of his embrace. He's warm and soft in all the right places. Calm- that's how you feel in the moment, as if a hug from Martin is all you needed to erase your frantic thoughts and worries. 
"You're welcome," he says into your hair, so quietly that you nearly miss it. You want to cling to him for the entire night, but you force yourself to release him after a few more precious seconds. 
“I really do love it, Mar. It’s such a thoughtful gift.” You allow yourself to touch your fingers to the back of his hand, trying to encourage him to let loose and be himself. 
“I was worried you wouldn’t, I thought maybe it was a bit too much. I wasn’t sure on the color either, I had no idea there was so many choices for things!” You laugh, imagining Martin looking like a lost child in the store until someone took pity and offered him help. “The salesperson was really helpful though, she said white was classic and that you’d probably like gold cause most people choose that with this bag and… and I’ve gone off on a tangent, haven’t I?”
You tip your head to the side, studying Martin as you say, “have you? I didn’t really notice to be honest. I don’t mind listening to you chat. Really, I’m a good listener, I’m used to toddlers telling me the most mundane details.”
“Ha- yeah I suppose that must be true, Atla always wants to tell me every little detail on our way home, right down to what colors she painted the trees with in art that day.” When Martin speaks about his daughter, his entire face lights up. You can tell how much he cares for her, how immense his pride is for his little art prodigy. 
If you had it your way, you'd stay here chatting to Martin all night. You have books full of questions to ask him, things you want to know about his life, his passions, his family, his culture… but your friends apparently have other plans. 
"Haaaapy biiiirthday to you!" 
You internally groan, spinning on your heel and being greeted with a round cake overflowing with candles. 
"Haaapy birthdaaaay to youu!"
Jen grins, stepping into your personal space and forcing you back a step, causing you to knock into Martin to avoid getting a face full of burning birthday cake. Martin's hand shoots out to your waist, steadying you. You're focused entirely on his touch whilst your friends finish their song. It takes an enormous amount of willpower to pay attention and keep a grin plastered on your face to cover the way Martin's hand makes you want to scream. It doesn't move until you lean forward to blow out the candles and everyone claps, Jen giving you a look that tells you she's set her master plan into motion. 
After you've cut and divided out the cake, you finally find your way over to Martin. He stands mostly alone, for once flying under the radar in an establishment full of uni students and young adults that couldn't care less about a football player amongst them. He leans with one arm on a high table whilst he chats to one of the people you'd invited. Martin does a double take as you approach, swaying your hips slightly while he quickly wraps up his conversation. 
"Do you want any cake? Or does your strict diet not allow for any fun, sugary foods?"
Martin laughs, a musical, magic sound that you instantly want to bottle so you can hear it whenever you please. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'm not allowed to have any cake tonight. I am about to get a drink though, would you like anything?" 
"Mmm, seems a bit backwards if you ask me, but alright I'll buy it. I'll have whatever you're having? And I'll come with you." You add the lastbit on impulse, glad you did when Martin's face lights up. 
You follow Martin through the crowd, grabbing his flannel at one point to avoid being separated in the sea of people. Martin slows his pace when he realizes you're struggling, then reaches a hand towards you for you to take. 
Time seems to slow to the point of molasses around you when your hand slots into his. You swear a jolt of electricity sings through you when your palm slides against his calloused one, fitting perfectly together like a matched pair. He guides you through the crowd with ease, like this somehow isn’t giving him the same butterflies as it’s giving you. 
Is Martin doing this on purpose? Does he realize the effect he has on you, or is it simply a coincidence that everything he's doing tonight sets your heart on fire? You don't care either way, you just pray it's not a one time thing. 
Martin hesitates at the bar and you get the feeling he doesn't want to let go. You open your mouth to tell him he doesn't have to but you're far too slow, and he drops your hand before you can get a word out. A stone of disappointment settles in your gut as you fold your empty hands in front of you. 
Martin orders two of a drink you've not heard of before. Whatever it is seems fancy because it takes ages, which you're very aware of thanks to the silence that stretches between you. Martin's mood has changed in the time it's taken to get from the table to the bar and you have no idea why. You hate it, you want the Martin from five minutes ago. You want the Martin that hugged you and was soft as downy clouds, not this steely, closed off version of him.
When the drinks come, Martin slides one your way and says, “If you don’t like it, I can get you something else.” Fruity bursts cover the slight burn of alcohol when you take a sip. The drink goes down easy, and before you realize it you’ve finished half. You grin, setting your glass on the bar. 
“It’s good! I like it, you’ll have to tell me what it is so I can order it more often. Although I have to admit, I took you for a straight whisky kinda guy.” Your shoulder bumps Martin’s in an attempt to loosen him up. It works at least slightly; some of the tension drains from him. That light you love dances in his eyes again, the blue of his irises even brighter somehow.
Hold on- love? No, no. You don’t love anything about Martin… You can’t, he’s your student’s father, but… what an amazing father he is. You’ve not met a man like Martin, who balances such a demanding job with being the perfect father. Atla loves him so much and you would have to be blind not to see how much he loves her as well. His world revolves around his blue eyed, blonde haired, outgoing little girl. 
And that is precisely why you’re falling for him. It isn’t slow anymore. It’s more like a plane crash, sending you into a helpless, tumbling free fall that has you toppling arse over teakettle. There’s no denying it anymore. You may as well admit it. 
Taking a deep breath, you gather every bit of courage you possess. “Martin- can I ask you something?”
Your heart hammers in your chest. Your thoughts are treason. You don’t care. You’ll pay whatever price the universe demands to know the answer to the question that has been plaguing you for ages. 
Martin glances over at you, runs a strong hand through his hair. He cheats his body towards you, elbow bent as he leans on the bar and says, “um, yeah sure. What is it?”
You barrel ahead before you can change your mind. “I just- would you wanna go out some time? Like, as… as maybe more than friends?”
At first, Martin looks like he might laugh, as if he thinks you’re joking. His cute little dimples come out to play for only a second. Then his expression morphs into disbelief, then something almost like disgust as it dawns on him that you’re completely serious. 
You hate yourself. You hate him. No, you don’t. You just wish you could erase your words, pull them back and keep them locked up deep inside your heart where they belong. You’ve let yourself be vulnerable for the first time in as long as you can remember, and now that decision will haunt you. 
“I’m sorry but I can’t do that,” Martin says, taking a step back, one hand pressed hard to the center of his chest. “Sorry but I- I have to go.”
“What?” Your stomach sinks to your feet. Fuck, you’ve really messed it all up. “Martin, wait, you don’t have to go.” Your hand shoots out for his wrist, but the second your fingers brush his skin, he jerks his arm away like you’ve shocked him. “Martin I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. I’m half drunk and I don’t have a filter.”
Your world crumbles at your feet as Martin shakes his head. He’s like a spooked animal, set to flee thanks to your admission. “I have to go,” he repeats, before turning on his heel and making a beeline for the door. He leaves you at the bar, shellshocked and alone, trying to process what’s just happened.
Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut?
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