#I’m about to pull a Neil Perry

[lys5ophobia]

Does anyone have any fanfiction ideas? I need to write but my brain doesn’t let me come up with anything😭

[dovesdreaming]

Whispers of forever

Summary: shy reader and Neil Perry meet when they’re partnered up for a poetry assignment. They’re love blossoms throughout it.

Request

Masterlist

Warnings: none

-

The school bell echoed through the hallway, signaling the end of another tedious English class. Neil Perry gathered his books, ready to bolt out of the classroom, when the teacher's voice halted him. "Everyone a moment please”. You froze in your seat as Mr. Keating gestured for people in pairs to go to the front of his desk. When it was your turn he called Neil Perry up along with you, you’d always admired Neil from afar, his confidence, his smile that lit up any room, and the way he seemed to carry a lightness that made him stand out among your classmates. The idea of being paired with him for anything made your heart race.

"You two will be working together on the upcoming poetry project” Mr. Keating said with a knowing smile. "I think you’ll make a fine team”. Neil grinned, clearly unfazed. "Sounds great, Mr. Keating”. You nodded, unable to muster up anything more than that. Your voice had a tendency to get caught in your throat when you were nervous, and right now, it felt like you were trying to swallow a whole apple. "Alright, I'll let you both get to it”. Mr. Keating said, turning back to his desk as the last few students filed out. "Remember, make it extraordinary!".

Once outside the classroom, Neil turned to you, his bright smile warming the chilly hallway. "So, Y/N, do you have any ideas?.Your mind blanked for a moment before you managed to stammer out, "M-Maybe we could, um, meet in the library after school? We can start brainstorming." Neil's smile widened. "Perfect. I’ll see you there at 4?". You nodded again, the butterflies in your stomach doing cartwheels. You watched him walk away, wondering how you were going to survive working on a project with someone like Neil Perry without making a complete fool of yourself.

At just before 4pm you arrived at the library, your nerves bubbling up again. You’d chosen a table tucked away in a quiet corner, hoping the isolation might help calm you down. You pulled out your notebook, pretending to review your notes, though your thoughts were completely scattered.

"Hey, Y/N!" Neil’s voice cut through your nervous thoughts. He slid into the seat across from you, his smile just as bright as it had been earlier. "I hope you didn’t have to wait too long”. “N- Not at all” you replied, trying to meet his gaze. His eyes were warm, and there was something about the way he looked at you, like he actually wanted to be there with you, that made your nerves settle, just a little. “So” Neil began, pulling out his own notebook. "I was thinking we could start by choosing a theme. Something that resonates with both of us. Any ideas?". You bit your lip, your mind racing. "Um... what about... the idea of freedom? Like... breaking away from expectations?". Neil’s eyes lit up. "I love that. It's something that feels really personal to me, too”. He paused, a hint of seriousness in his tone. "Sometimes, it feels like everyone’s watching, waiting for you to be something… you’re not”. You nodded, surprised by the vulnerability in his words. "I know what you mean”. He looked at you for a moment, his expression softening. "I’m glad we’re doing this together, Y/N. I think we can make something really meaningful”. You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze. "Me too”.

As you started to bounce ideas off each other, the initial awkwardness began to fade. Neil was patient, encouraging you to share your thoughts and making you feel like every idea you had was valuable. His passion for the project was contagious, and soon you found yourself getting more comfortable, more excited. Days passed, and every meeting brought you closer. You started to see sides of Neil that surprised you. His thoughtfulness, his insecurities, the depth of his emotions. And he, in turn, seemed to notice the little things about you, like how your eyes sparkled when you talked about a topic you were passionate about, or how you would absentmindedly twirl a strand of hair when you were talking and even how you bit your lip when concentrating.

It was after one particularly late study session that something shifted. The library was nearly empty, the sun setting outside, casting a warm glow through the windows. You were both laughing over a joke Neil had made when the laughter died down, leaving a comfortable silence in its wake. “Y/N” Neil said softly, his gaze locking with yours. "I… I really enjoy spending time with you”. Your heart skipped a beat. "I enjoy it too, Neil”.

He reached out, gently covering your hand with his. "I’ve never met anyone like you before. You’re… you’re different in a good way and I can’t get enough of it”. You stared at his hand on yours, warmth spreading from where his skin touched yours. “I’m just… me”. And that’s enough," Neil whispered. "More than enough”.

The moment hung in the air, thick with unspoken words. You looked up at him, and for the first time, you saw a hint of nervousness in his eyes, mirroring your own. Slowly, as if testing the waters, Neil leaned forward, giving you plenty of time to pull away. But you didn’t. Instead, you met him halfway, your eyes fluttering closed as his lips brushed against yours in the gentlest of kisses. It was brief, sweet, but it held a promise of more, of something real and tangible that had grown between you over the weeks. When you pulled back, Neil’s smile was softer, more tender. “Let’s make this project something unforgettable” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. "Together”.

And as you sat there, hand in hand, you couldn’t help but feel that this was just the beginning of something extraordinary.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The autumn leaves had turned shades of amber and gold, crunching beneath your feet as you and Neil walked side by side through the woods behind Welton Academy. The crisp air was filled with the earthy scent of fallen leaves, and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of peace whenever you were out here with him. The poetry project had long since been completed, earning you both top marks, but more importantly, it had been the start of something far more meaningful.

Now, a few months into your relationship, things felt as natural as the changing seasons. Neil’s hand was warm in yours, his thumb tracing lazy circles on the back of your hand as you wandered deeper into the woods, the sounds of the school fading into the background. He had suggested the walk earlier that day, claiming he needed a break from studying, and you had been more than happy to oblige. Any excuse to spend time with him was a good one.

Neil slowed his pace, eventually stopping altogether in a small clearing. The ground was blanketed with leaves, and the trees overhead created a canopy that filtered the afternoon sunlight into soft, golden beams. He turned to face you, his expression soft, his eyes full of something that made your breath catch. “You know” he said, his voice low and warm, "when we first started working together, I never imagined we’d end up here. But now… I can’t imagine my life without you in it”. His words made your heart race, and you felt a familiar shyness creep up, though it was tinged with the warmth of knowing he felt the same way. "I feel the same, Neil. You’ve made everything so much… brighter”. Neil’s smile was tender as he gently tugged you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a loose embrace. You leaned into him, resting your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Being in his arms felt like the safest place in the world, a sanctuary from all the pressures and expectations that weighed on both of you.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Y/N” he murmured into your hair. "I just wanted you to know that." You closed your eyes, letting the moment sink in. "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me too, Neil”.

For a while, you simply stood there together, wrapped up in each other and the quiet of the woods. The world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you in this perfect little bubble. Eventually, Neil pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt your chin up so he could look into your eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know that?" he said, his voice full of sincerity. You felt your cheeks heat up, but you didn’t look away this time. Instead, you smiled, reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair away from his forehead. "You’re not so bad yourself, Perry”. He chuckled softly before leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead, then your nose, and finally, your lips. The kiss was soft, unhurried, full of the unspoken emotions that had been building between you. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the cool air. “Let’s stay like this forever” he whispered. You nodded, your heart full to bursting. "Forever”.

And in that moment, with the golden leaves falling gently around you, it felt like maybe, just maybe, forever was within reach.

-

Thank you for reading! Please request more dps

[iamgonnagetyouback]

𝐓𝐔𝐓𝐎𝐑

♡ ︎ꜱʜɪᴘ: Neil Perry x Reader

You were hunched over a pile of scripts, watching Neil Perry give another, well, unique interpretation of a soliloquy. His voice cracked with emotion, but… in all the wrong places.

"To be or not to be…" Neil began, attempting Shakespeare with the passion of a man on a mission. Unfortunately, that mission seemed to involve single-handedly destroying the Bard’s finest work.

You let out a long sigh, head in your hands. "Neil, what was that?"

He stopped mid-line, flashing you a sheepish grin. "Was it really that bad?"

You nodded gravely. "Like… epically bad."

Neil chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Great. Then I’ll take it from the top?"

"For the fifteenth time today?" you groaned, shaking your head. "I don’t know how you’re going to pull this off."

"I have you," he said, flashing a confident smile.

That line always got to you. Even if he was hopeless at this, his heart was in the right place. So, despite every fiber of your being telling you to give up and leave him to his stage fate, you stayed. You spent hours together in the Dead Poets' Cave, rehearsing line after line, hoping, praying for a miracle.

A few days later, you were leaving the house when you spotted your dad, Mr. Keating, all dressed up and heading for the door.

"Where are you going, Dad?" you asked, curious.

He glanced back at you with that trademark mysterious grin. "Oh, didn’t you know? Neil has a play today."

Your brain went into overdrive. Neil? The Neil Perry who couldn’t deliver a line to save his life? The same Neil who, just yesterday, had confused Hamlet’s death scene with some kind of impromptu interpretative dance?

"Uh… what are you talking about?" you asked, baffled. "Neil’s terrible at acting. I’ve spent hours tutoring him, Dad. Hours. He's a lost cause!"

Mr. Keating just raised his eyebrows and gave you the look. The one that said he knew something you didn’t. The one that made your stomach drop with realization.

Oh.

Oh.

"Wait…" you stared at him, wide-eyed. "Are you telling me—Neil’s been… pretending to be terrible this whole time?"

Keating chuckled softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "He wanted more time with his tutor."

Your face flushed instantly. "I—I’m gonna kill him!" you sputtered, grabbing your coat in a rush. "He’s been wasting my time on purpose?"

Keating just smiled knowingly. "I think you’ll want to see the play first."

You stormed into the auditorium just in time to catch Neil on stage, and what you saw nearly knocked you off your feet. There he was, front and center, commanding the stage with ease, delivering lines with power and grace. His timing was impeccable, his emotions raw and palpable. The audience was absolutely enchanted. He was… perfect.

Your mouth hung open in shock. You had spent hours trying to get him to say one line right, and here he was, playing his role like he was born for it. You could barely process what you were seeing.

As the curtain fell and applause erupted around you, you pushed your way backstage, still fuming but also feeling a tiny bit impressed. Neil had some explaining to do.

When you found him, he was in his dressing room, still in costume, grinning like a little kid who had just gotten away with something massive.

"You…" you pointed an accusing finger at him, words failing you. "You’ve been acting like you couldn’t act?"

Neil smirked, casually leaning against the wall. "It worked, didn’t it? We got to spend more time together."

You sputtered, torn between being completely exasperated and, well, flattered. "Neil!"

He stepped closer, his grin softening into something more genuine. "I couldn’t help it. I needed an excuse. You’re a great tutor, by the way."

Your face flushed hot, and you crossed your arms, trying to hold onto your anger. "You’re insufferable."

"And yet, you’re still here," he teased, his voice warm and playful.

You rolled your eyes but couldn't help the smile creeping onto your face. "So, let me get this straight—you’re actually good at this? You just made me sit through hours of you being awful on purpose?"

He nodded sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "I might’ve… exaggerated my incompetence. A little."

"A little?" you exclaimed, laughing despite yourself.

Neil stepped closer again, his eyes soft with affection. "It worked, though, didn’t it? I got to spend time with you. And… I think it’s safe to say I learned more than just acting."

You shook your head, half annoyed, half charmed. "You’re ridiculous, Neil Perry."

He beamed at you, stepping even closer, the warmth of his presence making your heart flutter. "But you like me that way, right?"

You opened your mouth to protest, but Neil leaned in, catching you off guard as he whispered, "Admit it."

You narrowed your eyes playfully, trying to maintain the upper hand. "Fine. But next time, maybe just ask me to hang out. You know, like a normal person?"

Neil laughed, the sound rich and contagious. "Deal. But you have to admit, my method was more fun."

You couldn’t help but laugh too, the tension evaporating as you finally allowed yourself to enjoy the moment. “I hate how much I like you.”

He grinned, clearly thrilled by your confession. "Likewise."

The two of you stood there for a moment, grinning like fools, and you couldn't help but think that, even if he'd tricked you, it was worth it.

After all, he really did put on one heck of a show.

[sorencd]

ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU

little moments with neil that you’ll never forget. cw: the moldy peaches

you’re a part time lover and a full-time friend,

“i promise you neil, if you even think of dropping me.”

your hands held an iron-grip on your forearms which wrapped around neil’s neck, trying so hard to steady yourself with how wobbly he’s walking right now.

“i don’t know, i think i’m feeling kind of tired right now.”

he started drooping lower to the ground, his voice cracking with each step. you could feel the smirk through his words.

“neil!” you squealed, hiding your face in his neck, bracing for impact.

but instead of feeling the rough, hard ground— you felt neil standing up straight. he was also laughing.

“i hate you.”

he smiled, “i love you more.”

the monkey on your back is the latest trend.

“i think he likes me.”

neil smiled from across you, disregarding the book he was reading a second ago and started petting the stuffed-toy on his back with tenderness as if it really was alive.

“yeah, you two look the same, too.” you teased, giving the monkey a pet as well.

“haha, you’re very funny.” neil monotonously replied, but a grin still evident on his lips, i’m taking that as a compliment.”

you laughed, amused by his reaction. you took a hold of his cheek and stretched it like your grandmother used to, “i’ve been practicing.”

“you should be a clown one day.”

i don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you.

“hello? are you even listening.” your friend deadpanned, upset that you weren’t responding to a thing she was saying.

“what- i was, i mean- i am. i still am.”

she sighed, rolling her eyes with a huff. “look, i get it you’re madly in love, just don’t shove it in my face, please and thank you.”

you were fixated on neil, he was playing on the field with his friends and he just looked, surreal. he still had his hair all tidy, despite being drenched in sweat. he looked breathtaking, despite looking like an absolute mess. he also looked very kissable, too.

“why do i even bother?” your friend laughed and lightly shoved you, pulling your attention back at her.

“yeah—i agree.”

i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,

the loud resounding horn of the train in the distance echoed loudly in the tree-covered valley. you and neil sat on the edge of the cliff, hand on top of the other’s, listening to the crickets chirping.

“i think getting on a train once would be nice. the view would be amazing!” you said in a soft tone, imagining the different scenery you’d be able to witness alongside neil. imagining a world outside your everyday life.

neil chuckled, looking at your eyes with so much adoration. he could almost envision it all himself as well. the amazing scene he’d have in front of him—a quaint small room just for two, dozens of trees and fields and natural life passing by; almost enough for him to write hundreds of poems about. but most beautiful of them all—you.

the scene in his mind was could never beat the moment he’s living in right now, however. you’re eyes—reflecting the bright stars above, giving his life another light within him. he could almost kiss you, and he decided he will.

“(y/n).”

you turned your head, raising your eyebrows with a smile. his nose was only a few inches away from yours, and the close proximity got your blood running up to your cheeks.

“can i kiss you right now?”

now you could really feel the heat across your face. with a small nod, you closed your eyes and puckered your lips.

neil let out a soft laugh, “if only you could see how cute you are right now.”

“just kiss me already, perry.”

i kiss you all starry-eyed, my body swinging from side to side.

his lips felt soft on yours, and his hands were holding your cheeks—somewhat grounding you. your entire body was pulsing with electricity, it was like you could implode any moment.

unfortunately, neil parted his lips from yours, giving you the relieving breath you didn’t know was taken away from you. and you stared, stared at him with star-struck eyes that was being illuminated by the street light, your pajamas crumpled between your fingers.

“that- you were-“ neil struggled to form a proper thought, still buzzing from the kiss.

“i love you.” you blurted, filling the silence and overlapping the chirping of the crickets. realizing the words that left your mouth, you turned your back against the awestruck boy in a rush and blurted ‘talk to me tomorrow’ before running away in a flurry of emotions.

“bye.” neil muttered with a small smile, his cheeks adorning a pink color of his own.

i don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you.

“(y/n),” neil whined with a grin, holding in the laughter that’s begging to be let out while simultaneously trying to keep his pajamas up. “stop pulling on my pants! you’re pulling my underwear along with it!” he desperately pleaded, walking away with your hands gripping the fabric with such strength.

“exactly.”

neil pulled on harder, he was laughing loudly now, enjoying the playful tug-of-war you two were having. before suddenly, you heard a tear.

you stared into neil’s eyes, and he stared back into yours before letting go.

“(y/n).”

“neil before anything i just want to say i love you.” you waved your hands in front of you, slowly walking towards the door facing neil. to your surprise, he jolted towards with a smile, and ripped pants, causing you to run like there’s no tomorrow.

“please—let’s talk about this!”

[chasedbyunclewalt]

Hey everyone! So I finally wrote a thing!! I’m pretty sure is absolute garbage but 🥰 I’m here! Attempting to replenish the lack of DPS fan fiction!! So here it is (also I forgot how to add a Keep Reading bar on mobile help)

Summary: you’re new at Welton and your cousin Charlie’s friends take you in! Neil Perry x female reader x Platonic! Charlie Dalton

“She’s off limits, thanks.” A blunt voice sounds from behind me. It’s my cousin Charlie only naturally. I’ve just transferred to Welton Academy, now that they’ve begun accepting girls. The only downside of this is that my over protective older cousin Charlie won’t give it a rest. Of course there were ups and downs to the whole thing. Charlie had introduced me to his friends initially so I knew someone in most classes, but they were mostly boys, who flirt a lot, or act like they’ve never seen a woman before.

“I’ll decide if I’m limited!” I angrily turned to whisper yell at him, after giving a polite smile to Pitts who I was just speaking to. This obscure comment makes Charlie roll his eyes.

“Are you coming to the meeting tonight?” He asks casually as we all stand on the campus outside.

“Uh yeah If I still can.” I respond hoping the so-called “Dead Poets Society” meeting was still open to me. “Yeah you can!” Neil cuts in from looking at his book. He stands up from the brick wall he was leaning on.

For some reason this assurance makes me grin. I suppose if Neil says I can… I then turn back to Charlie. “I’ll come get you at.. let’s say 9?” He says in a hushed tone and walks away pointing to his watch.

I will admit. I’m appreciative to have a somewhat big brother on campus. Charlie and I spent most of our childhood when he wasn’t here, together anyway, so we really are family, cousins, and friends.

At 9 I’m waiting in my dorm. I’m in some comfortable slacks and a large coat when I hear a tap on my window. I open it expecting the boyish grin from my cousins. I open the drapes revealing a Neil Perry. I open the window curiously. “Hey- it’s you?” I ask. “Yeah! Charlie’s down there but Cameron forgot something so they went back they’ll meet us- hi..” he says with his typical smile and laid back demeanor whining with excitement. His brown hair is a mess from the hostile weather outside.

Later I sit in the cave. A mere observer for now since I wouldn’t have anything to share my first time here. I smile and shake my head as Charlie continues this Nawanda act. Neil who stands in the middle of us all looks toward me with a smile “I forgot to ask- Y/N would you like to share anything?” He asks with a warm inviting expression. Like he truly would love for me to get up there. I smile appreciatively and shake my head. “Not this time Neil thank you..!”

After the meeting we sneak back. To ensure I got back safely Charlie offers to be the one to sneak to the girls dorms with me.

“I’ll come too..?” Neil suggests softly. Charlie nods and quietly ushers us in.

“Goodnight guys!” I wave a bit as I quietly try to enter into my dorm which is extremely difficult with decades old door hinges.

As Charlie and Neil walk back, they enter a quiet hallway where Charlie mumbles grinning to Neil. “So you like her..?”

“What?” Neil asks with fake confusion. He figured he could pull it off because he’s never been much of a lady chaser.

“What?” Charlie mocks. “You like her! Y/N!”

Neil blushes knowing only Charlie knows him like that. They stop in the hallway by their dorm rooms.

“She’s a very lovely girl-“ Neil starts, attempting to be indirect. Charlie just chuckles and says. “Alright I know… it’s fine” he waves off “although…you should ask her about theater or whatever.. she’s into that..” Charlie says playfully but also with thought. It’s a bit funny Neil is the only person Charlie would even consider trusting in such a situation. They both say good nights and enter their dorms on opposite sides.

[left-handed-spaghetti]

I actually WROTE a fanfic? I haven’t done that since I was around eleven, but I did it! So…here it is (Anderperry fluff)

The autumn rain tapped lightly against the windowpane, out the window the world appeared blurred and softened, with the hues of autumn.

The radiator underneath the window hummed.

Soft, golden light spilled from the reading lamp that was attached to Neil’s bed.

it was one of those rare times, when being a student at Hellton didn’t feel quite so bad. 

 Neil was rehearsing lines from "A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” in his and Todd’s dorm room, Jumping on his bed like a kid on a sugar rush. every time he bounced off on the springy mattress, it would make a loud squeaking Sound.

Todd chuckled quietly, looking up from the notebook he was writing in.  He tried to suppress a smile, but that was sort of hard to do when your roommate was Neil Perry.

Neil read from his script, 

"Up," Neil jumped, 

“and down," he repeated, 

“Up," another jump, 

“and down,” 

He laughed, 

“I will lead them up and down. 

I am feared in feld and town, 

Goblin, lead them up and down. 

Here comes one," Neil pointed dramatically at Todd, beaming. 

Todd chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement, “Are you sure you haven't had too much coffee, Neil?"

 Neil shook his head firmly, "Only a few cups, but it's alright! Come on, Todd, jump with me!" 

Todd looked up at neil like he had just suggested that he Perform a cartwheel on the edge of a cliff. "I, I don't know, Neil. Jumping on the bed seems a bit... childish, doesn't it?” He glanced around sheepishly. 

  Neil shook his head and jumped around in a circle, "No! It seems a bit…fun! It’ll help you write a lot better, trust me.” 

 Todd scoffed. “How does that make any sense? Neil… thats, that’s crazy, you’re crazy.” 

  Neil paused mid-bounce, looking serious for a moment. “Think about it Todd, When you jump, the blood rushes to your head, right? It's like a whole ton of inspiration rushing straight to your brain! It makes sense doesn’t it?” 

Todd chuckled and paused for a moment, then shook his head. "No, no, that’s not how it works.”

“Oh, come on, Todd,” Neil implored, his soft brown eyes pleading. That look made Todd completely fall apart. 

"Alright, okay, fine. But just one jump, alright?" Todd said with a sigh, setting aside his notebook and sitting up from his bed. He extended a hand, letting Neil pull him to his feet atop the mattress.

 The bed creaked beneath their weight, and Todd glanced nervously at Neil, who was practically vibrating with excitement. 

With a timid bounce, Todd’s feet left the mattress, barely an inch of air separating him from the bed.

“There, I jumped once!” he said, smirking as he made an attempt to climb down. But Neil’s hand shot out, grabbing Todd’s hand and stopping him.

“"No, no, no,” Neil chuckled, shaking his head. "That won't cut it. You've got to really go for it. Imagine you're trying to touch the ceiling!" Neil explained. He demonstrated with an enthusiastic leap, though his fingers fell short of the ceiling by a good foot.

Todd attempted to mimic Neil’s jump. His feet left the bed in a clumsy hop. Todd looked over at Neil checking to see in he had just seen that horrible excuse for a jump. He did.

Neil grinned, trying hard not to laugh. 

“Here,” Neil said, gripping Todd’s hand more firmly. He crouched slightly, then sprang up, pulling Todd along with him. The force of Neil’s jump lifted Todd higher, and a burst of laughter escaped them both.

They landed with a loud squeeak, as if the bed was yelling at them in protest, I’m waaaay to old for this kind of behavior, my springs are rusty, my mattress is sagging, and my frame creaks with every little movement, take a hint guys. 

“Did you see how high we went?" Neil gasped between laughs, his eyes alight with joy.

Todd nodded, “Again?" He asked eagerly. 

Neil laughed and was just about to jump again, this time even higher, when 

His foot collided with Todd’s, and with a yelp, they toppled over. 

 Todd landed beside Neil, his cheeks blushed with exhilaration. 

“Are you okay?” Neil said trying his best to sound concerned, despite the fact that he was still laughing.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Todd managed between chuckles, rubbing his side where he’d landed. “We’re gonna be in a lot of trouble if we break your bed.” 

Damn straight, The bed would say if it could talk. 

 Neil’s giggles returned, and then the boys were laughing uncontrollably. Neil sat up, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. both of them breathless and grinning.

“Okay,” Todd said, still chuckling, “maybe, maybe that was…sort of fun.”

“Sort of?” Neil teased, nudging him playfully. “Admit it, you loved it.”

Todd rolled his eyes but couldn’t help smiling, “Alright, alright. Yes. Happy now?”

 Neil beamed, “Very.”

 There was a moment of silence, and their eyes met. Todd felt like a ton of butterflies decided to have a dance party in his stomach. 

Neil’s expression softened, his eyes filled with a tenderness that made Todd want to cry, or smile, or just hug him and never let go. 

  Leaning in, Neil gently pushed Todd’s bangs back, and placed a quick kiss on his forehead. Todd blinked in surprise, and felt warmth rush to his cheeks. 

 As if just realizing what he had done, Neil’s eyes widened in shock. His heart pounded so hard, he could feel it in his head. "I, I…” Neil’s voice trembled, his words stumbling over each other in a rush. "Sorry, I, I didn't mean to..."

Todd reached out, gently placing his hand on Neil's cheek.

"Neil…” Todd whispered, but Neil was too caught up in his frantic apologies to hear. “Neil,” Todd repeated, louder this time, “It’s okay.”

Neil’s words faltered, his breath stopping as he stared at Todd in disbelief. Todd Leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against Neil's.

As they pulled apart, Neil felt like the room was spinning, his heart hammering in his chest. He looked at Todd, 

 Todd's was blushing, and his hair was all messy, he looked incredibly beautiful. 

Neil's vision began to dim at the edges, as if someone had gradually turned down the brightness on the world around him, He felt an intense wave of dizziness wash over him.

"T-Todd," Neil managed to say, his voice trembling slightly. "I... I think I'm gonna faint…" 

 Todd chuckled at first, thinking Neil was joking, but then he noticed the panicked look in his eyes. 

"Oh, Neil," Todd said softly. He reached out instinctively, placing a gentle hand on Neil's cheek. "Hey, just breathe, okay? You're okay." 

 Neil took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, he rested his own hand on the hand that was cupping his cheek.

Todd’s touch was grounding, anchoring him in the moment. He closed his eyes briefly, feeling the warmth of Todd's hand against his skin.

When he opened them again, Todd was still there, looking at him with a soft smile and furrowed brows. 

Neil clenched his fists, and his heart swelled with joy. 

"I'm... I'm okay," Neil managed to say, his voice still a bit shaky. “Probably just all the blood rushing to my head.” Neil laughed.

 Just then, there was a loud knock knock knock at the door, and Cameron peeked into the room, “It’s time for dinner you guys.” He announced. 

 Todd nodded, then noticed that he still had his hand on Neil’s cheek, he pulled away quickly, his eyes wide. 

“Oh, Okay!” Todd said a little too loud, and got up from the bed a little too quick. 

Cameron eyed them suspiciously,  "Uh... what's going on here, guys?"

“Nothing!” Neil exclaimed, jumping up from the bed. 

 Cameron lingered in the doorway, his gaze shifted from Neil to Todd and back again. After a moment of awkward silence, he asked, "Are you ... using drugs or something?” 

“What? No, no of course not.” Neil insisted, shaking his hands. 

“Well you better not be, That would get you expelled you know.”

"We know, Cameron. We're not doing anything like that," he assured, forcing a calmness into his voice that he didn't really feel.

 Cameron’s eyes narrowed. "Alriiiiight," he said slowly, clearly unconvinced. "But dinner is ready, so hurry up."

"Yeah, we're coming," Neil replied, sounding more natural this time.

 Cameron eyed them one last time, turned, and left. 

Neil and Todd didn’t even realize they had been holding their breaths, until they sighed. 

Todd reached out and squeezed Neil's hand, before letting go and heading for the door. Neil followed, his heart still racing but steadier now.

They walked out of the room together, side by side, and made their way to the dining hall.

End

(I have no idea if that was alright, it’s really late rn, and I can barely read so 😭 I just had that idea of Neil and Todd jumping on the bed and I really needed to write it.)

[darkness-and-books]

Kirk and sad hugs

Bone crushing

can hug more gently, but typically doesn’t unless you specify you’d prefer that

wont let go until you let go and even then he will hold onto you a little longer

if you’re really sobbing he probably won’t even consider letting you go until your breathing evens outs

runs fingers through hair/rubs circles on your back

It had been an awful day, and honestly you were beginning to feel sort of sick and could feel pressure building behind your eyes.

Between all the stress and generally feeling miserable, you had finally come apart in an isolated part of the ship. You slid down the wall and bag a crying. With your knees pulled to your chest and your face in your hands, you couldn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps.

A pair of well shined shoes stopped just in front of you, you considered not looking up and hoping they would go away, but curiosity won out.

Looking up you see Kirk looking back at you, concern colouring his features. “Rough day?” He questioned, sitting next to you.

Rubbing the tears away from your face you look over at him, “like you wouldn’t believe” The statement ending in a huffed sigh.

“Try me,” He said lightly with a smile, “you don’t have to talk about it,” he added as an afterthought.

“can- can I have a hug?” The question tumbles out softly before you can stop it.

“Of course,”

@neil-perrys-reincarnation

I’m sorry this took so long 😭

[tereresrock]

oops it’s past 10pm! time to think about my last relationship and how she told me she loved me and showered me with gifts and praise only to a month later say she “didn’t actually feel that” and “just did those things automatically” i’m about to pull a neil perry

[inahallucination]

here is a concept of a fic ive grown bored of so im just gonna leave it here

Todd walked down the store aisle, trying to ignore the detachment he felt. Everything looked and sounded muted. As if it wasn’t close to him, but Todd knew if he reached out he could touch it. But logic didn’t help the distance he felt.

Inst, keeping his eye on the shelf. He was looking for something new. Todd had decided that he wanted to expand his horizon, recently. Of course, that sounded terrifying and awful, so he decided to stick to something small. Like trying a new type of candy. He was walking around now, trying to see if anything caught his eye.

He saw a chocolate bar with a red wrapper. It wasn’t anything special, just a simple plain, deep red, with silver lettering showing it’s name and the same silver around the border. Perhaps it was because it wasn’t special that it stuck out in between the other, flashier, candies. Todd wondered if the company had done it on purpose. OR maybe they had made a taste so amazing that they reserved it for people who would look beyond the outside.

Todd reached forward and grabbed it.

Just as he did, another hand came up, just a second late, grasping at the air as Todd pulled his chocolate back.

Todd startled, jumping away and dropping the chocolate bar.

“Oh,” a voice said, startingly clear, “I’m sorry.”

Todd looked up to see the person, with the clear, unhazy, voice. Tall, brown hair and brown eyes, pretty. The person bent down and grabbed the chocolate bar, holding it out for Todd to take with an easy smile.

Todd, overwhelmed by this stranger, who just walked into his foggy world all clear, turned on his heel and speed-walked away. The stranger called out to him, but to Todd’s relief he did not follow.

 That strange encounter was something that stuck to the back of Todd’s  head from then on. It wasn’t something that was actively being sought for, or thought about, but it was always there.

Todd knew he’d never see the strikingly clear boy again, not hear his crisp voice. So, with that in mind, Todd left that encounter as a one time thing.

Until.

“Hey, I hear we're gonna be roommates. I’m Neil Perry.”

//

nothings sexier than feeling completely detached from everything around you and latching on to brief moments of random connection no matter how weird or strange or mundane they are 🫦🫦🫦

[fandomfiish]

@inahallucination @theluminoussunflower for ya  __________________________________________________ "Neil."

Neil stares at Todd as he looked at him with a smile. "What is it, Todd?"

"I ... " Todd closes his mouth seemingly in a battle with himself before he lets out a breath. "I just need to say something."

Neil only nods, his smile never leaving.

"Ever since we've met you've always been beside me. I’ve always wondered why, and all I could ever know is that you liked me ... even if I was not as talkative as you and the group. And I thank you for that.”

Todd had a smile while he talked, Neil really love that. It’s good to see him smile again. 

“And then as we talked together I started to get this weird feelings, especially when you were around which technically the whole day due to us being roommates. I was scared, scared that this might change things between us and I was more scared when I found it growing more as year went.” Todd voice shakes as he said that, with Neil wanting to comfort Todd as he lets his heart out.

“You made me feel like I’m special man in this cruel world. You supported my poems, was always there when I felt terrified. You believed in me when most don’t, and even if now you aren’t alone in that part, you were always my number one supporter.” Todd was smiling when he spoke, which in turn made Neil’s smile grow, he felt himself proud that he is Todd’s Number one. 

“And that’s when I found myself accepting it, that I’ve fallen for Welton’s Golden Boy.” Todd grins. “You know Charlie helped, he overheard me having a panic attack about it and he was there, apparently he shares the feeling, just with a certain tall dense idiot but that’s a story for Charlie to tell.” 

Neil found himself laughing, he knew about Charlie and Knox’s situation but to find that Charlie helped Todd made Neil happy. He kept his promise ... I’m glad.

“Charlie was so supportive of us you know? He said that I made you really happy and he hopes the best for the both of us.” Todd grips the flower on his arms as he continue. “I actually planned to confess the night of your play, after the celebrations, after the meeting, just us in our room. It felt the perfect moment.” 

Neil felt his heart break as he heard this, he knew what’s coming next.

“When Mr. Perry arrived and whisked you away from me, I though that my plan to confess was ruined, B-But I thought I can still confess when you return right?” Todd was gripping the flower too hard now almost breaking it. “I thought that hey I can still confess to you, it didn’t matter if it was the perfect moment.” Tears fell on Todd’s cheeks, and Neil all but wanted to wipe those tears from him. 

“Then I woke up and Charlie’s there, the others were too but I was too focused on Charlie cause he was crying and Charlie never cries. “And then he said the words I was dreading to hear. And then everything was a blur after that. You were gone, then Charlie was gone, then Mr. Keating. It felt like every good things in my life are leaving me and I can’t do anything about it.” 

Neil stood there, since that’s all he can do. As much as he wants to pull Todd into a hug and tell him that’s everything is going to be okay, he can’t. He thinks it’s cruel that fate lets him stay in the world of the living, seeing all of the effects of his own decision. 

“Cameron was too ashamed to talk to us, Knox was trying his best with Meeks to help me and Pitts to just eat everyday. Knox was our only communication with Charlie at that time but it felt so hopeless Neil. It felt like when you died, a part of me died as well.”

Todd stepped closer to Neil, staring at him and Neil saw the pain in his eyes, and he felt his chest tighten wanting to not look at his eyes but he found himself frozen, tears falling from his own eyes.  

“I will never understand why’d you do it. I wanted to h-hate you, but I can’t.” He sighs. “I love you, and still love you. You made me feel love that I’ve never felt before, the love that I know I’ll never feel with anyone except you.” He smiled, it was devastating that Neil sobs as his felt his knees give up as he kneels. 

Todd still smiles standing in front of Neil Perry’s grave, staring at the photograph of Neil in front of him. “I’ll never fall in love again.” Neil felt his heart shatter, standing up, his hands finding it to Todd’s shoulder yet it just phases through Todd yet Neil didn’t care. 

“I ... “ Neil starts, as much as he felt elated that Todd shared the same feelings to him, he want Todd to move on, to meet someone better than him, someone who wouldn’t leave him and make him cry. “You can���t do that, I’m sure you’ll find someone better than me!” 

Todd felt a chill, it seems like its getting colder. “I though of it you know?” He starts. “To fall in love with someone else,” Neil kept his mouth shut. “And ... it never felt the same. And then I decided that maybe I felt that love with just you. And with you gone I’ll never feel that again.” Todd then kneels phasing past Neil as drops the flower he was holding under Neil’s grave. “And I accepted that, so I hope, if you are out there, accept that.” 

Neil found himself speechless as Todd laughs. “And yet I don’t know if you share the same feelings as I, Charlie did say you loved me as much as I did, but it feels better to hear if from you. Though that’ll never happen so I hope Charlie was right.” 

Neil stands up with a bitter smile he spoke. “I love you too Todd, ever since we’ve met I’ve felt connected to you, somehow you make every dull moment on Welton, memorable. You were supportive and cared about me and made me feel like my dreams are worth something.” He felt tears falling again. “And I’m so sorry to make you cry like this, I’m so sorry for giving you so much pain, I’m so sorry for not being able to tell you that I love you Todd Anderson. That will be my greatest regret.” 

“I hope you’re happy wherever you are Neil. Know that you’re always on my mind.” Todd said and Neil knows this. After all he followed Todd most of the time, he was slowly healing, which he was proud of but he can’t help but see some mementos of himself near Todd most of the time, especially the poster of the midsummer dream that was folded and was always on Todd’s pocket wherever he goes.

Neil felt himself conflicted, he regrets that decision he made, at the moment it was the only thing he felt was right as he was making his own choice, something that his father was trying to take from him. And yet seeing the repercussions of his decision he felt like he made a mistake. 

And how he wished that night went a little more differently. 

Neil and Todd didn’t notice footsteps incoming until they spoke. 

“Neil.”

“Talking with our friend here Toddy?”

Neil looked as Todd turned around and there Knox and Charlie was, with a their own smile holding plethora of feelings.  

“Yeah, are they already there?” Todd felt himself smile, and Neil couldn’t help but smile either, happy to see two of his other friends. 

“Pitts and Meeks just arrived, and you know how punctual Cameron is.” Knox replies. “We can give you more time if you still want to stay here.” 

“No-” 

“It’s alright Toddy, I mean it’s not like we can always visit Neil given how hectic all of our schedules are, trust me we’d both know since were roommates.” Charlie jokes which made Todd laugh. And Neil stood up, giving his three friends some space as he smiles at them. 

“It’s alright I think I’ve said what I wanted to.” Todd gave one look at Neil’s grave again, a bitter smile replacing his lips. Knox and Charlie both as well, sharing the same expression. 

“He loved you.” Charlie broke the silence.

Todd didn’t respond.

“I do.” Neil spoke.

Todd eyes widened for a second, then he smiles. And Neil hoped, and begged that Todd heard him. 

“Thank you.” Todd whispers unknown if its for Charlie or Neil, or perhaps both as he stands up. 

“Ready to go?” It was Knox who asked, and Todd nods. 

“Goodbye Neil.” Todd spoke, before he starts walking with Knox who said his own goodbye. 

Charlie remained and with a smile he said. “We’ll take care of him, don’t worry.” And he was gone.

Neil watched them go, and as much as he wants to follow them he wanted to be himself for now. As he mind echoes of what Charlie said. And he thought that maybe...

Maybe he could start moving on.

[drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band]

dead poets society but it’s my quote book part 3? (or 2 idk anymore)

charlie: “rizzler of oz here we come”

cameron: “no! stop trying to culture me”

charlie: “neil perry is my shawty bae”

nolan: “charlie what happened? do you have a braincell to tell me?”

(after charlie accidentally pulled the fire alarm right before a concert)

neil: “Im about to go be the white girl in a horror movie”

pitts: “why are they touching tips”

meeks(angerly): they’re kissing! What are you? homophobic?”

charlie: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU NEIL?”

neil: “asking what’s right with you might have an easier answer”

charlie (mockingly): “i’m a tenor player! i need a bigger saxophone to compensate!”

neil: "what are those?"

todd: "drugs."

neil: "what kind??"

todd: "the legal kind"

mr. keating: “Im king of the nerds! Im king!”

neil: “i’m getting bullied by the wind”

charlie: “you’re getting wullied”

charlie: “Heyyyy, can I have that”

knox: “It’s in our pit it’s ours.”

charlie: “I’ll give you a kiss.”

knox (Quickly): “You can just have it”

charlie to knox: “you gotta get some bitches”

[sorencd]

heaven knows

pairing: neil perry x f!reader

summary: things just aren't the same with neil not around.

word count: 1.1k

a/n: WHY DO I DOP THIS TO MY SELFH SOBS HRHSHFHFH hve some wee little angst because after thuis i'll only be writing fluff lol

masterlist

"come on, hurry up! my parents will hear us!" you laughed as you tugged on his arm harder, trying to help him climb up your window quicker. 

it was late at night and you were helping neil get into your room since he promised to visit you after his meeting with the poets. you were finishing up your studies when you suddenly heard neil whisper shouting from outside.

"a-alright, just let me-" he groaned, pushing himself up on a tree branch and quickly crawling into your room. you snorted at him as he fell onto the floor with a soft thud that you hoped your parents didn't hear.

"hi." he looked at you from his position down at the floor, a grin that reminded you of a child plastered across his face. 

"hi!" you beamed and extended your arm, offering him some assistance to help him stand which he gladly took. 

"sorry i took so long." he gave you an apologetic look and opened his arms, offering you a hug and you jumped onto him without hesitation, squeezing him tightly.

"i missed you so much." you said as you let him out of your grip and sat on your bed, patting the empty spot beside you. gesturing him to come to bed.

today was a rather tiring day for you since you had to finish a lot of things, complete a lot of requirements, and overall everything's taking a toll on you. what you really needed right now is the loving presence of your boyfriend.

after he sat down, you both got situated and cozy in each others comfort. he gently wrapped his arms around you and gave a soft kiss on your forehead. you looked at him with a tender smile. "i saw a cute dog on my way back home. it was about… this small." you whispered and lifted your hands to show neil how small it was.

"really? i saw one too, on my way here. maybe we saw the same dog. what color was it?"

you stopped for a moment to recall what the dog looked like, "it was white with a few brown and black spots on its back and face."

he perked up, his favorite smile of yours making another appearance on his face. "we saw the same one!"

you both shared a hushed snicker while you talked about your day. it was moments like these that really compensated for anything bad that happened to you. neil was there to cheer you up, he was there to make you feel better whenever you needed him. and the same goes for him. 

"your play's tomorrow! i've been waiting for it for like, ever." you whispered, holding his hand in yours. "i'm excited!"

"me too." he paused, an earnest expression replacing his once tender smile. "you'll be there for me, right?" he asked as he leaned his cheek on top of your head, pulling you closer.

"of course i will. obviously. i'd never miss your launch into hollywood." you and your boyfriend chortled lowly to each other, desperately trying to not make too much noise. you wished you could stay in his embrace until the end of time, just have the world go on and let the two of you cuddle. you weren't asking for too much. but this cruel world was unfair.

it was the morning after neil's play, after he had to abruptly go home without warning because of his father. you woke up to your mother calling for you downstairs.

"(y/n)! there's someone on the phone looking for you!"

you hurriedly hopped out of bed and made your way downstairs. you took the phone from your mother's grasp and put your ear next to it.

"hello?" 

“(y/n),” the voice behind the phone halted with a heavy sigh, he sounds like he’s having a hard time getting his words out. “i..i’m sorry..”  it was todd. why was he phoning you this early? why was he saying sorry? “it’s neil.. he’s…” 

you couldn’t hear what he was saying. the ringing in your ears blocked out half of the stuff todd said. your vision started blurring and it was like your world was spinning. you couldn’t breathe.

you quickly jumped up from your bed. disoriented, out of breath and heart racing fast. what was that? was that a dream or did you really answer a phone call from todd? you rubbed your eyes to wake yourself up and looked at your bedside table to check the calender, it was saturday. you and neil agreed that every weekend you'd go and visit your favorite spot in town, so you giddily stood up and went to your wardrobe to look for an outfit to wear.

memories from yesterday came back to you. neil’s play that you both have been looking forward to and how proud you were when you saw him perform on stage. he’s probably back at his dorm, talking to his friends. maybe you should give him a visit first.

you walked out your front door, with a huge smile on your face. excited to see your boyfriend today so you could shower him with all your love and affection. neil deserved it, he did amazing yesterday!

“hey (y/n)! where are you going?” your neighbor and also your childhood friend, danielle, waved as you stepped onto your front porch. her eyes were filled with empathy for some reason. why?

“i’m off to see..” you winked your eye, signalling that you were about to meet neil. you couldn’t risk revealing where you really were about to go since you told your parents you were going to pick something up from the nearby shop.

danielle’s expression suddenly turned sad, it seemed like melancholy instantly washed over her. what’s wrong? did something happen? you were so confused. she looked away to avoid your questioning gaze, she couldn't bear to face you. then it all came crashing back.

you stood there with frozen legs, the painful pang in your heart that once sunk down to the bottom and which you thought had gone away returning, the soreness in your eyes that you chose to ignore stung as you blinked and blinked. the play you thought took place a day ago were truly the events of last week. your mind was hopelessly trying to forget and push the memory down because you just couldn't accept that neil's gone. this throbbing in your chest won't stop, it's starting to bubble up into the surface and hurt again. your head hurts again, everything hurts all over again. you wish you could phone neil and tell him everything.

© sorencd . 2023 ─ do not copy, repost, translate or claim any of my works as your own.

[justarandompjofan]

The First Dead Poets

Neil William Perry

trigger warning: death, suicide, shitty parents

        The first time he heard Neil’s name, he almost broke down. The ironic part was, he heard it everywhere. Neil was the top of his grade, he excelled in every class, and he participated in almost every extracurricular that was offered. His name was unavoidable. To add insult to injury, he was Charlie’s best friend. So with Charlie it was “Neil this” and “Neil that”. And while he was glad Charlie had such a close friend, he couldn’t help but wish that he had chosen one with a different name. But he was a good kid. He brought an energy to every room that made it impossible for John to feel resentment towards him.

       As the year went by, John noticed something in Neil. Something that as he saw it, made him finally realize why he needed to come back. It was something that he hadn’t seen in 18 years. Because, the horrible truth was, Neil reminded him of James. He had the same bright energy that seemed real until it suddenly wasn’t. The same overbearing father that he wouldn’t talk about. But he thought back to when James died, and remembered the promise that he made that day. He would never let it happen again. And he wouldn’t. He would be able to save Neil before it was too late.

       It was a chill November day when John needed to speak to Neil about his poem. It had been brilliant, but slightly concerning. He walked down the hall to the room that Neil shared with Todd Anderson, another one of his extraordinary students. He knocked on the door, and when there was no reply, he knocked again. He tried the door, and it was locked. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit him. Was he too late? Panicked, he ran to Mr. McAllister’s office, asking to borrow his keys. When he returned to the door, he took a deep breath, praying that he would find nothing behind the door. What he did find, however…was not at all what he had expected. He swung the door open, calling Neil’s name, only to reveal Neil and Todd sitting on one of their beds, kissing. He slammed the door shut as quickly as he could. He prayed that neither had noticed, but the frantic footsteps behind the door said otherwise. As the door opened again, Todd rushed out, his cheeks flushed a bright red. A moment later, Neil appeared in the doorway, his eyes painted with panic.

         “Mr. Keating, I-”

         “Mr. Perry, I came to speak with you about your poem, but, uh, it seems we may have something else to discuss. Will you come into my office?”

        As soon as the door was shut behind him, Neil began to speak, “Mr. Keating, please don’t tell my father.”

         John put his hand out, “I would never dream of it, Neil. This will stay between the two of us, I swear it.”

          “Thank you, Mr. Keating. Before you say anything-”

         “The issue here is not that it was the two of you. I, frankly, believe that anyone caring about another man’s sexuality is stupidity of the highest degree. However, you must be more careful. The second you hear a knocking, you must be aware of it. Had it not been me opening the door, I’m afraid this would not have gone the way it is. I…I had a dear friend when I went here who wasn’t careful enough and…You are very lucky it was not Mr. Nolan or Dr. Hager. But know that I do not care who it is that you love. As long as you are happy, that’s the only thing that matters in the world.” Neil hesitated for a moment, before throwing his arms around John. He embraced him back, thanking God that it was not as he had thought. As Neil pulled back, John noticed the tears starting to run down his face.

          “Are you quite alright, Neil?” he asked.

          He wiped his eyes, “I’ve never heard that before. No one’s ever told me that it was alright.”

         “Neil-”

        “I have felt like a freak my entire life. I have lived for seventeen years thinking that there was something entirely wrong with me, but…you said that it’s alright.”

        “Because it is, Neil. Of course it is. How can love be wrong?”

        “Do you really think so?”

        “I know so.”

        Neil looked around the room, his eyes settling on the photo frame on John’s desk, “Is that your wife?”

        “That is.”

        “She’s beautiful.”

        “She’s also in London,” John replied with a sigh.

       “How are you able to be that far away from here? Doesn’t it hurt?”

       “My dear boy, it hurts like hell. But we decided it was best for me to come here, at least temporarily.”

       Neil paused before noticing the other photo on his desk, “Hang on, Captain, you’ve got a son?”

       “Sorry?”

      “In that photo over there, is that your son?”

      “Uh yes, that is.”

      “Why did you never tell us you had a son?”

      “He died last year.”

      The smile immediately disappeared from Neil’s face, “Oh my god. Captain, I’m so sorry, I-”

      “It’s fine, Neil. You had no way of knowing.” He paused. “His name was Neil.” It was silent for a moment, a heavy weight hanging in the air.

      Neil stood, “Thank you, Mr. Keating, for everything.”

      “Of course, Neil. Now if you need anything, you can always come to me.”

      As the weeks passed, Neil came in to talk more and more. The day that Neil came in crying, heart broken that his father was refusing to let him continue the show, John didn’t know what to do. What could he do? So he told Neil to talk to his father, to try to talk some sense into him. Deep down, he knew he wouldn’t. And as he watched Neil on stage, he felt an overwhelming sense of pride. He couldn’t put it into words, but it was like watching a child of his own. And when his father dragged him away into the car, he prayed to God that it would be fine.

      John awoke the next morning to a rapid tapping at his door. He opened it to reveal Mr. McAllister, wearing his night robe, eyes dark.

      “How can I help you, George?”

      He looked around cautiously, “May I come in?”

       “Please.” He opened the door wider and he sat down in the chair by his bed.

      “John, I wanted to let you know before Nolan calls you in.”

      “Has something happened?”

      “Neil Perry…he shot himself last night in his home.” The world stopped. He had failed. He had failed yet again to save a person he cared about. He shouldn’t have come back. He thought he could bring a solution, but all he brought was his stupid fucking curse. His curse that cost everybody he knew their life. Even this child. This child who deserved so much more than the unfair world had given him. Neil was dead and he couldn’t do anything about it.

      “Mr. Keating, we have been informed that you encouraged Mr. Perry in the theater, knowingly disobeying his father’s orders.”

     “With all due respect, Mr. Nolan, I was simply encouraging Mr. Perry to live.”

     “And look where that ended us. His father is threatening to sue the school. Do you know why?”

     “Why?”

     “Because of your blatant disregard for authority. You cannot deny that it is all your own fault.”

     John stood up, “Excuse me?”

     “Sit down, John.”

     “You know who’s fault this really is, Gale? His father’s. Your’s. This school’s. You churn out empty people who follow the mold you set. And when people try to break out? They end up suspended, or expelled, or dead. Do you remember James Foster?”

     “Do not speak that name here.”

     “You know, I always thought you were just a terrible person, but it turns out…”

      “What?” Mr. Nolan spat out.

      John pushed his chair back and as he reached the doorway, he turned around, “You’re just a coward.”

@emilythefern @theluminoussunflower @sup3r-n0vaa @iguanamuppet @giolovesyousm

[cameronsactivities]

Anderperry Week 2023, Day 2

(College)

Professor Anderson’s Romantic Life

“I’m free!” Neil shouted. “Todd, I’m free! I’m free, I’m free, I’m free!”

They were sitting (Todd was sitting, Neil was jumping up and down) on the topmost row of bleachers in the football stadium at the university where Todd taught. Neil was celebrating because he had just gotten a big role in a movie with a renowned director. Ever since his father found out he wasn’t going to medical school and left him penniless, Neil had been drowning in student loan debts while having to rebuild his life. This role almost guaranteed that he would be liberated from financial insecurity and finally, finally, free from the damage his father had done. 

Todd laughed, the same laugh Neil had been hearing since they were teenagers, but much more frequently now. Neil pulled him up from the bench and twirled Todd around in jubilation, sending more peals of laughter into the breeze. As the sun set, casting the clouds with pink and orange tones, like a projector on a white screen, Neil pulled Todd into a dip kiss. 

“Hi, Professor Anderson!”

Startled, Neil pulled back immediately to see two college students waving from the football field. 

Todd blushed, though the students were definitely too far to see it, and yelled back, “Hello!”

“Have a nice evening!” they shouted as they left. 

“Do your students know about me?” Neil whispered, his heart still pounding from his surprise.

“Yes,” Todd said.

“Thank God.”

“Well, actually,” he began, worrying Neil once more. “They know I’m married. That’s it.”

Neil sighed. “Todd.”

“It’s fine, they didn’t see us.”

“They most definitely did.”

“There were only two students. They’re in my class. I’m pretty sure they’re not homophobic or anything,” Todd dismissed. 

“Rumors fly, Todd. Remember that time Charlie convinced everyone that Keating was gay?” 

“He’s not?” 

Neil sat down on the bleachers in defeat. “This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Wait, Keating’s not gay?” Todd asked.

“Yes!” Neil said, exasperated. “He has a wife, I think.”

“Bisexual people exist.” 

“Todd, we’re getting distracted.”

“Fine, fine,” he said. “I’ll clear up any rumors if it becomes a problem.”

“Thanks.” Neil exhaled. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your reputation.”

“Oh, I have tenure, it’s fine.”

***

“You were right about the rumors,” Todd said one night as he took off his tweed suit jacket and sat down at the dinner table.

“I’m always right, Todd,” Neil said, handing him a plate of food. “What are you going to do about it?”

“Nothing,” he answered simply. 

“Nothing?”

“It’s hilarious. They all assumed I meant a wife when I said I was married.” Todd casually stabbed a piece of potato. “The stories they come up with are so Shakespearean. It means I taught them well.”

Neil raised his eyebrows, amused. “Such as?”

“One theory was that I’m getting revenge on my wife by having an affair with her brother, and I’m paying him magnificently to do it.” Neil laughed, almost choking on his food. “I also heard someone say I have a gay twin brother, and you haven’t noticed we’ve been switching places.” 

“They’ll be so disappointed to find out we met in high school,” he said.

***

Neil tried to enter the lecture hall as silently as possible, as Todd was giving the closing remarks to his lesson. He couldn’t wait to tell Todd that his film had a successful first week in theaters, and he had been invited to so many interviews and photo shoots. However, Neil either didn’t close the door lightly enough or Todd had some psychic intuition, and he looked up at Neil, smiling. 

Todd held eye contact as he told the class, “By the way, have you guys seen that new movie? With that actor… Nick Perry?”

“I saw it,” a student in the front said, and Neil had to stop himself from running up to the front and smacking Todd. “I think it was Neil Perry.”

“Oh, that guy? He’s really cute,” another person agreed. 

“Really? I might have to see for myself,” Todd said, and even from far away, Neil could see that he was clenching his jaw, which was doing anything to stop a big smile from forming. Despite having an equally uncontrollable smile, Neil crossed his arms and shook his head at Todd.

“You should,” the student continued. “The acting and cinematography are amazing.”

“I see, I see,” Todd said, nodding as if he hadn’t seen Neil’s movie twice already. “I’ll go see it this weekend with my partner.”

The brief silence as some students began reevaluating their rumors was very noticeable. Neil sighed, though not out of frustration, knowing that Todd would keep up this charade for as long as he could. Neil was free from his father’s controlling fist, but not from the mouths of Todd’s curious, gossiping students. And that was okay, because Todd was right — it was entertaining as hell.

[smoosnoom]

moon moon moon hello i am opening ao3 for the first time in WEEKS and its because ive come to know you have written an anderperry fic. jaw dropped when i found out because WHAT!!!!!!!! one of my favorite writers n one of my favorite pairings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dps was literally my entire personality at one point and im STILL insane about this film

anyways im here to give u my thoughts as i read because i will be insane about this for the rest of my life. moon anderperry fic moon anderperry fic moon anderperry fic i will never be okay ever again

WYM TODD CAN JUST /FEEL/ SOMETHING IS WRONG. FUCK THIS FUCK FUCK FUCK THE FEAR THE AGONY THE FEELINGS I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW

Neil shakes his head. “Don’t you get it, Todd?” He sounds too calm, too resigned, and Todd hates it, he decides, he never wants to see Neil so complicit with something so terrible ever again. “There’s no fighting it. There’s no good way out of this.” He shrugs again. “I’m trapped.” 

fuckkk its like his dad killed his spirit sucked the life out of him broke him or something i cannot fucking do this anymore. AND TODD IS PROTESTING!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENED TO NEIL WHAT HAPPENED TO SEIZE THE DAY AND ITS SO HARD TO SEE NEIL MAKE PEACE WITH HIS PASSION TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM. im :( might just pull a neil perry at the end of dead poets society (1989) if u get what im saying

He takes a leap of bravery. He reaches out and rests a hand on Neil’s elbow. He takes a step forward, brings up another hand, and Neil collapses into him, all six feet of him falling onto Todd, who doesn’t stumble when he holds him up. Sorry, he wants to say, even if it’s not his fault, even if he had tried to warn Neil, so many weeks ago, sorry, sorry, sorry. He presses a hand a little more firmly into Neil’s back when his shoulders shake, and his body is cold, and some reckless part of Todd wants to strip off his jacket and throw it over Neil, usher him inside and make him tea like Todd’s mother would do, when he was still a child and not quite Todd. 

HOW DO YOU WRITE THE WAY YOU WRITE IM GOING FUCKING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watch me sob over when he was still a child and not quite todd what the fuckkkk

AND FOR A SECOND IT FEELS LIKE IT COULD BE. im never recovering im never ever getting over this fic ever this was so :( sorry for the long ask i lost my mind the second i found out u wrote an anderperry fic (and perhaps inspired me to get back to writing dps again)

ivy ronanticized hello !!!! omg im Honored my little dps fic was enough for u to open up ao3 again 😭 i really just wrote it on a whim since tragedies have never settled Peacefully in me

one of ur favorite writers 😭 thank u so much omg i Did write . another anderperry fic which . i hope u like BUTDONT FEEL LIKE U HAVE TO DO ANOTHER ONE OF THESE i just wanted to let u know since . u seemed to enjoy this one LOL

stop im fully falling apart rn ivy i need u to Calm Down before i explode from flattery fr !!!!!

todd can feel something is wrong ... it's the soulmateism 😕

FUCK MR PERRY !!!!!! ALL MY HOMIES HATEEEE MR PERRY FR u know what . i Completely get neil and im glad i could get his defeatedness across 🫡 and todd protesting bc he cannot bear to see him like that . You Get It

might pull a neil perry 😭 ivy NO

HEELPHP 😭 THANK U FOR LIKING IT it means Everything to me .

and for a second it feels like it could be !!!!!!!

never apolgoize Ever again for long asks ok they are very much treasured !!!! im so so so happy u enjoyed it and very very honored that it mightvw inspired u to write more dps !!! id love to read some of it :]

[barbaric-yap]

I just need someone to sit me down and talk about my study habits with me and help me fix them

not my parents bc they are really aggressive and don’t understand how my brain works like at all I need a teacher to realize that I can’t start my hw and that I’m up at 3 am crying bc I can’t make myself start my hw and help me figure out how to fix it bc it’s a goddamn problem and it happens EVERY NIGHT like I’m bouta pull a Neil Perry over here