#I’m 2/2 on ‘straight guy thought he could fix me and I somehow fixed him instead*

[badolmen]

Do not underestimate my ability to seduce* shitty white guys with my good innocent Irish Catholic girl swag.

*force them to confront their biases and reconsider their political ideologies

[gh0stsp1d3r]

Jealous, jealous, jealous girl pt 2

Part 1-

Request- reader and hobie get into an argument bc of how she treats Gwen, they break up, reader starts to get even angrier at people even Pavitr (my poor baby), she finds out that Gwen started to stay at Hobie’s place and she hears him call Gwen “Gwendy” (he does that in the movie and I think it’s cute) so she just stops coming to the spider society HQ all together bc that was her final straw, somehow Hobie finds her and she tells him about how really felt deep down 😔

“Look, I’m just saying you can’t get mad everytime I even talk to her.” He said as calmly as he could.

“It’s not even just you talking to her anymore! You’re hanging out with her more than you are me! You’re fucking calling her nicknames!”

“It’s just cause we’re working together, there’s nothing else goin’ on, love-“

“Don’t call me that. I never said there was anything else going on. And that’s not all because you wanna know what else I saw? Her fucking clothes in your room! Her shoes, shirt, pants. You told me that she wasn’t staying anymore, you lied to me.”

“I couldn’t tell you, cause I knew you’d get angry.”

“You knew and you did it anyway?”

“I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry.“ he said, but he didn’t say it in a genuine way.

“We’re done. You keep lying to me, and I can’t do it anymore.” You said, tears at your eyes.

“Wh- Y/n- Y/n, don’t-“ he said as you started to mess with your watch, going straight to the HQ.

When you entered the portal he groaned and sighed, he laid on his bed and put his hands over his face.

“Fuck.” He knew he messed up.

——————————————————————

It seemed as if he moved on quicker than you. You came to work on the verge of tears everyday, and he was laughing and talking with Gwen everyday.

Pavitr helped you through everything, staying at your house sometimes, and you staying at his. His aunt loved you.

You were having lunch with him, you both sat in silence and eating.

“So, how you handling the whole…” he asked after a while of silence.

You sighed “Not good. He just keeps hanging out with her, and I heard that she was staying at his again!” You started to get pissed off every time you talked about it.

“Alright, alright, calm down. You guys needa talk it out.”

You thought for a moment.

“I guess.. I just… I dunno, it kinda hurts to see him, yknow?”

“I get it, just talk to him when you’re ready, because I want the gang back! I miss all of you guys, and it’s not like I don’t like hanging out with you.. it’s just… better with all of you. And Hobie told me some things, I think you guys can work it out”

“Some things? What things Pavitr..?” You said.

“Just some… non important things..”

“Pavitr.”

He looked the other way, struggling to meet your gaze.

You rolled your eyes, and stood up, throwing away the garbage.

“Wait- y/n, I’m sorry-“

You left him alone, and he sighed as he continued to eat.

As she walked out, you ran into Hobie and Gwen speaking.

You hid so they didn’t see you.

“Gwendy, next time ya come over, quit forgetting your toothbrush.”

“Gwendy..?” You whispered to yourself. You knew she was being called nicknames but it was different hearing it.

You rolled your eyes, as you quickly walked past them. Gwen stared at you, while Hobie just ignored you.

Hobie sighed when you left.

“You guys still not talking?”

“Nah. I was thinking of it… but I gotta wait until she’s not pisssed off.. which is rare.” He shrugged.

They walked into the lunchroom, seeing pavitr sit there and stare at his food.

“Yo, Pavitr.” Hobie said, excited and ready to get a happy welcome.

Pavitr just looked at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“I told her that you said some things, I didn’t tell her exactly what, but she got all mad and left me! Fix your stuff man, she’s a great person, and I want her back.”

Hobie just sighed as Pavitr stood up and threw his trash away as well.

“Just talk to her.” Gwen shrugged when he looked at her.

“We got into an argument over you. That’s why it happened.”

She laughed “I’m flattered but I’m not worth breaking up over. You two were probably the cutest couple I’ve seen.”

He sighed “Yeah. You’re right.”

————————————————————-

With tears in your eyes you left the HQ, telling spider byte you’d be away for a while, her asking a lot of questions and then saying she’s got it there.

You didn’t tell Miguel or anyone else, just her.

You went to your apartment, and went straight to your bed. You didn’t even realize you were crying. When you did, you let it all out. Ugly crying felt good to do at the moment, so that’s what you did.

You cried for a good 15 to 20 minutes. Then you fell asleep.

You woke up, and pretty much did the same thing for a few days.

Jessica was constantly bothering you, telling you you had to be in.

“‘M still sick with the virus. Can’t.” You lied.

She rolled her eyes “You’re full of shit.”

“Yeah… cus of the virus.”

She sighed “Funny. Just… be in soon, I can’t keep covering for you.”

“I will.”

After a day or two, people at the HQ noticed. Pavitr, Gwen, and Hobie mostly noticed, Jessica, Miguel, And Charlotte, whom you were also close with, noticed.

(Charlotte is sun-spider)

No one bothered to come by except for Pavitr for a while.

He tried to convince you to come back, but also letting you know of everything happening.

“Alright, I gotta go, see you!” He said, opening a portal.

“Yeah, see you.”

A day after, instead of jessica it was Miguel himself that called through your watch.

You sighed “Yeah, yeah, I’ll come in-“

“You better. You know that spot guy we were looking at?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s a bigger issue than we thought. We’re looking for him right now. You have to come in today, no excuses.” He said.

“Okay. Yeah. I will in a little..”

He disappeared and you sighed, laying back in bed.

There was a knock at your front door, making you jump.

You groaned in annoyance and got up.

“What?” You opened the door, and then you saw it was hobie.

You tried to slam the door, but he stopped it with his foot.

“Hello to you too.” He mumbled.

“What do you want, Hobie?”

“I wanna talk.”

“Okay. Talk.”

“I’m sorry. I am. I miss you, a lot. And I just want to… fix things. If it’s possible, Y’Know? Im sorry for lying, and sorry for.. everything.”

You stared at him for a while, and this time he sounded genuine. He looks like he’s been… crying?

“I miss you too hobie. God, I fucking-“ you took in a sharp breath “I love you. I always have, since the moment I saw you, and I don’t think that’s ever gonna change. But it hurts. It fucking hurts. You went behind my back, and lied to me.”

He listened and stared.

“I don’t love Gwen. I love you. Like you said, always have, always will. And I’m sorry I lied.. but Gwen’s my friend, and you and her could really get along. If you’re asking me to stop being friends with her-“

“I’m not asking you to stop being friends with her. I’m asking you to not lie about it next time. Don’t lie about how she’s not staying at your place when she is.” You said, you feel like you were repeating yourself as you raised your voice.

“I won’t. If you give me another chance, I will never lie to you again. I screwed up, and honestly I’d do anything for you to forgive me. And maybe if we could go on a date.. yknow, redo the whole thing.

“I forgive you. And yeah.” You said after a while of silence.

He smiled ever so slightly. “Thank you. You coming back to HQ now?”

“Yeah. Miguel’s gonna blow my brains out if I don’t.”

[xn4vyl1c1ousx]

How did we get here? when i used to know you so well..

cw: angst?, kinda occ, word vomit, implied past relationship with bakugo, pro hero!bakugo x villain!reader (kinda), ends with a cliffhanger

wc: 789..

♫ ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||| …

notes: okay this is probably gonna be booty cause i kinda just put stuff down, i hope it isn’t too bad if anything needs fixing don’t be afraid to tell me, i might not make a pt 2 to this cause idk what else to write after it, uhhhh that’s it :p

now playing: Decode - Paramore

back to navi..

“Get out of my way!” the sound of explosions was heard throughout the city. buildings were falling everywhere and dust clouds replaced them.

cars, busses, and street signs suddenly ripped up from the ground and swirled around in the air.

“what the hell is going on?!” Bakugo spoke out loud, looking around for anyone as he ran towards the center of chaos.

all the others were around trying to help people out of the fallen building. Midoriya, Kirishima, Mina, Tsu, Tokoyami, and Bakugo were all running to the source. rough screams were heard as a car came crashing down onto the road, right in front of bakugo. it all happened so quickly, but fortunately, he was quicker.

with an explosion he launched himself over the car and continued running. the sound of his boots was barely audible over the sound of rushing air and car alarms blaring through the wind.

Midoriya hopped around from building to building , getting ever so close to the source of chaos. Just as he was within reach of whoever was the cause of this, he was swung back by a forceful wind. The force of the wind ended up sending everyone flying back, including Bakugo, who was sent straight towards Kirishima.

Kirishima couldn’t move fast enough causing Bakugo to crash into him, sending them tumbling. “PAY ATTENTION, HAIR-FOR-BRAINS!”

“i’m sorry bakubro! you came outta nowhere!”

the wind suddenly picked up in speed, sending everyone flying into the air agian. “What the hell?!” bakugo’s voice fell upon deaf ears as everyone became separated. the wind around them almost cutting their exposed skin from the sheer speed and force.

As bakugo looked around, he spotted you in the center. your eyes met his, a sudden shiver ran down both of your spines as a realization came to both of you.

How did you end up in this situation? someone who oh so desperately wanted to be a hero, becoming a villain. a puppet for the LOV. Your facial expression said it all. It was him who caused your sudden change.

Suddenly, bakugo was thrown away from the chaos. his body flew through the air, making him set off blasts to try and control where he was going. yet it was all in vain. his body slammed against a building, sending all the air in his lungs out.

“Wait! guys it’s them! it’s y/n!” he yelled out as he finally regained his breath.

no one could hear him. despite his harsh and loud voice, the wind muted him.

he watched as Midoriya somehow made it to you and collided against you. a sharp gasp ripped from your chest as the pain of his punch radiated from the place of impact.

no one could see you, they only saw the monster that they thought you were. he watch as mina came next, sending her acid toward the quirk enhancers on your wrists, causing them to disintegrate. then went kirishima, grabbing you and holding you down, making it impossible to move.

tokoyami grabbed Tsu as she fell from the sky, holding her up so she wouldn’t hit the ground. they safely landed in front of you and the other 3 hero’s.

bakugo watched from afar, his body unable to move. was it from the injuries? or was it that he knew that he wouldn’t be able to stop what was going to happen to you.

“let me go!” you yelled as you thrashed around in kirishima a grip, his quirk activing, causing it to be even more difficult to move.

“we got you now, there’s no escaping.” Midoriya spoke, his voice full of victory.

you looked up at them. the world froze. no one moved, too stunned to speak. it was you. it was really you.

it had been years since your disappearance. and now here you were, conspiring against them, attacking them, and being in the most dangerous villain group of all japan. it was still you.

“y/n?! but why? you? why.. why would you turn back on us?” mina’s voice shook, full of hurt, betrayal, and anger.

you stayed silent, kirishima grip on you faltered enough to let you send a strong wind, knocking them all back.

“it’s his fault. if you really want to know why i’ve chosen to backstab you all, ask him. ask bakugo.”

and with that, you sent yourself into the air with a flick of your wrist, right into a purple portal in the sky.

you disappeared yet again, this time right in front of them.

The five hero’s turned to look at bakugo, who still kneeled on the ground. frozen and with a look of pain and guilt on his face.

just what did he do to let this happen?

General Taglist for all my works (comment or send an ask to be added)

@sunolls

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Team Japan’s Manager

Future Mx. Iwaizumi

Hajime Iwaizumi featuring Team Japan x GN! Manager

Warnings: fluff, swearing, Oiks and Sumu in the same hcs

AN: this is an anon request!

Ughhhhhh *punch’s air repeatedly*

It’s fine, I’m fine, this is fine 😐

What do I have to be jealous of?

I mean, sure you’re engaged Iwaizumi Hajime, 28, Athletic trainer

And sure you’re the manager for the Team Japan Men’s Volleyball Team

😐🙄 anyways, needless to say I’m extremely jealous of you YN

You’ve been dating Iwa for a while now

Actually even since you both met in College 🥰

You somehow managed to bag one of the hottest men in the entire universe and we won’t question it

Because you 👏🏻 deserve 👏🏻 it 👏🏻

Anyways, you are Iwa we’re always pretty low key about your relationship

I mean, Oikawa knew

Oikawa knows everything 🙄

But otherwise, you were pretty on the dl

It’s not that you didn’t love Haji or want to show him off but seriously nobody likes a bragger

Even thought you’d deserve to brag YN

I mean you bagged HAJIME IWAIZUMI so please brag away 😌

I’d be walking around like “this is my partner Iwaizumi Hajime, 28, Athletic Trainer. Isn’t he GORGEOUS!!!”

Fortunately you aren’t me and you are a humble being, who values your privacy with your fiancé

You and Iwa got engaged before you came back to Japan and before you both landed the gigs with Team Japan volleyball

Of course you both knew you were applying for each job and you encouraged each other

They were your dream jobs after all!

Not sure what universe you are living in to dream about managing toddler men Yn but you do you 😅

Anyways, you and Iwa were extremely professional while at practice

Of course, Kuroo and the coaches knew you were engaged

But the team, the team did not

And there were absolutely no problems

😂😂😂 literally couldn’t even type that with a straight face

N E WAYS the guys were literally feral at practice and around you

You and Iwa both agreed that you shouldn’t wear you engagement ROCK at practice

Because like, it can get caught on the net, your finger could get jammed, literally so many problems

You wanted to get a band for practice but you just hadn’t gotten around to it

Not like you aren’t super busy or anything 😐

“YN WHERE ARE THE TOWELS?”

“YN do you have an extra nail file?”

“YN can you help with blocking practice?”

“YN where’s Bokuto?”

“YN Hinata’s locked in the bathroom again!”

Literally not busy at all 🙄

You literally crashed every single night when you got home and Iwa understood why

While he had a training room to seek refuge in, you had nowhere to run

You literally had a trail of 6ft plus ducklings following you

Every once in and a while you’d manage to escape to visit Iwa

You’d walk through the doors of the training room as Haji would watch

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” He’d ask as you’d put your hand up, collapsing on of the training tables

“Please Haji, just 5 minutes of quiet,” you’d groan out as you tried to recover

5 seconds later

“YN? YN!!! Hey there you are?” Hinata would yell with Kageyama on his heels

Iwa is just rolling his eyes in the corner

You stand up, fixing your hair and staring at the two dummies

“Yes?” You grit out

“Can you measure our jumping height? Kageyama said I’m still not as high as he is!” Hinata says

“You’re still shorter than me you shrimp!” Kageyama growls

“SAY THAT TO MY FACE CRAPPYAMA!” Hinata yells

“I would but I’d have to bend down,” kageyama smirks 😏

“Alright- Alright!” Iwa says, breaking it up as you sighed

“I’ll be there in 2 minutes guys, please try not to kill each,” you add as they leave

Iwa walks over to you grabs you and gives you a big hug, “love you babe, we will get your favorite tonight for dinner to make up for these idiots.”

Needless to say, Hajime was your savior the whole training season

And when it came to the actual Olympics he was there to support you the entire time

As you prepared for your first game, our favorite Argentinian v.ball player came to visit 🥰

“There’s my precious YN-Chan!” Oikawa gushes as you stare

You 👉🏻😐🙄 hello Toru

Kageyama and Ushijima are fuming in the corner because like why are you talking to HIM 😤

“So when is the big day Yn? Have you and Iwa-Chan decided when you’re going to get hitched?” Toru says

Team Japans heads snap to you 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ excuse me-

“Ha ha good one Oikawa,” Aran says

“Why would you ship YN with Iwa and not me!” Atsumu says offended

“Wait they don’t know?” Oikawa says

“Who doesn’t know what?” Iwa says, standing next to you

“That you and YN are engaged,” Oikawa says as Team Japan just stares at you

“Say sike right now!” Atsumu cries

You and Iwa 👉🏻😐🙄 well it was good while it lasted-

“Shittykawa it’s because they didnt know!” Iwa says

“YN really?!?” Hinata gushes 🥹

Flower MAN material YN write it down ✍️

“Dang! Well I guess congratulations!” Yaku adds

“It’s not a big deal guys, we don’t talk about it much,” you say

“Really Yn? Because I’d totally brag about being engaged to Iwa if I were you!” Hoshiumi laughs

He’s not wrong Yn 😏

“Omg wait Yn can I be a bridesmaids? Or a brides man or a man groom?” Bokuto :D

You 👉🏻😐😳 uhhh

“No Bokuto I’m going to be the best man for YN! Or brides person? Or person of honor?” Hinata questions

You and Iwa 👉🏻🤨 well at least they aren’t nervous anymore

“Now now everyone, I’m going to be the only person standing up for YN and Iwa,” Oikawa 🥰

“Over my dead body!” Atsumu screams

“Shittykawa shut up!” Iwa shouts

You just sigh, absolutely living your life ♥️

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 18

A night out at the speakeasy leads to an unexpected connection. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-17 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (broken up), Tommy Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: SMUT :D unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up!) and Tommy being an absolute flirt. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only!

Length: 4.8 k

Saturday, May 15, 2010 - Six Months Later

“I need more than a drink,” Lucy put her head on the front desk of the clinic with a groan. “I need at least 2. Probably five.” 

“I think they have that,” Andrew said, smiling a little. “Pretty much the whole draw.” 

“That one guy was such a dick,” she propped her chin on her fist. “Why did I decide to become a nurse again? Why did I think this was a good idea?” 

“Because you made career choices before the world ended and then stuck it out?” You said, sitting on top of the desk behind the counter. 

“Yeah being a nurse wasn’t exactly a walk in the park then, either,” she grumbled. “This is my problem, I’m basically an addict, I get one REALLY GOOD patient and then I act like that fixes alllllll the assholes…” 

“Sounds like dating men,” Marta joined your little group from the exam area. “Lee is finishing up with the final patient and then we’re free. We’re so close, guys. So close I can taste it.” Marta glanced over at you and groaned. “Aw, Doc, you got changed? You look all cute and shit? That’s not fair!” 

“Hey,” you replied. “I have nowhere else to wear the cute dress. You have dates. I have speakeasy night with my coworkers, just give me this.” 

“You could have dates too, if you wanted,” Jess was perched on the other side of the horseshoe shaped desk, Andrew squarely between you in his office chair. Her feet were in his lap. “All you’d have to do is just say yes to one of the guys who talks to you or actually ask someone out.” 

“Yes but why should I when I have you lovely people, all our patients and Petri dishes in the lab to keep me company?” You smiled. Andrew and Jess shared a brief look. You tried to not roll your eyes. Mostly because they’d given you a lot of leeway in the past almost year since you and Joel had split up. Especially when you got back from your trip outside the QZ. 

You hadn’t even bothered to go home that night. You walked straight to Andrew and Jess’ place, knocking on the door and trying to not cry until you were inside. Andrew was the one to answer and you fell into him, burying your face in his chest as it felt like you were cracking open with the pain of it. 

“You were right,” you choked out as he pulled you inside. “About what he did out there, you were right…” 

“Oh, honey,” he wrapped his arms around you the best he could with the backpack in the way, kissing the top of your head before tucking you below his chin. “I’m so sorry. I wish I was wrong. I really do.” 

You slept there that night, Andrew sandwiched between you and Jess, other people and the safety that came with them the only thing that let you rest. 

You’d managed to avoid Joel since you’d returned. It had been half a year since you last saw him that night at the QZ fence. There were signs of him, though. He was usually on your mind somehow, not that you were happy about it. 

A few weeks after the trip, you passed Tess on your way to look for a few more books and CDs at the underground sellers’ shops. She didn’t notice you but you noticed her. It looked like she’d gotten into a fight, she had a black eye and gash at her throat. You frowned. 

“Tess?” You changed direction to follow her. “Tess!” 

She turned and looked surprised that you’d talk to her for a moment before meeting you in the middle. 

“Doc,” she looked you up and down. She had a tendency to do that, you noticed. She liked to evaluate things. Like she thought you might have changed since she last saw you. “Good to see you.” 

“You too,” you smiled. “Look, I’m happy I ran into you, I’ve been thinking…” You glanced around and tugged her off to the side of the road. “You and Tommy and… everyone, you’re still making runs, right?” 

“Not taking you out there again,” she shook her head. “Joel was pretty firm on that…” 

“No, that’s fine,” you waved her off. “I just… You know that saying ‘an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure?’” 

“Sure,” she shrugged. 

“Well there’s only so much I can do for you if you guys come back already hurt, down a lot of blood, all that jazz,” you said. “But if I gave you some basic trauma supplies, showed you how to use them…” 

“You’d do that,” she said it more than asked it. 

“Of course,” you frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?” She didn’t say anything else, so you just pressed on. “Could you plan to come by my apartment sometime this week, late? I can put together some kits, show you what to do for common injuries…” 

“Wednesday?” She asked. 

“After 10:30,” you said. “Should give me time to get home from the clinic.” You were surprised to learn that you actually kind of liked Tess. She showed up to your apartment not long after you did. Wednesday had been a rough one and your shirt was still bloody, deciding to prioritize getting the blood out of your hairline instead of changing your clothes. 

“Doc,” she said by way of greeting, her eyes drifting to the blood on your shirt and back up to your face, strand of bloody hair still in your fingers. 

“Sorry,” you said, giving an apologetic smile. “Had to do a field amputation today without anesthesia, it was a mess… I’m making tea, want a cup?” 

“I’ll take tea,” she said, coming in and sitting at the table. You got your still bloody hair out of the way and quickly pulled the shirt off before grabbing a t-shirt out of the drawer and pulling it on. 

“Sorry,” you smiled apologetically again. “I just really needed to get at least some of that blood off me…” 

You put the tea on the table and grabbed the kit you put together, giving Tess a crash course in trauma stabilization 101. 

“So were you a military doctor when this shit started?” She asked after you packed the supplies back up. 

“Oh God no,” you laughed. “No, I was a biology teacher. I was finishing up a pre-med degree though, and I’d always wanted to be a doctor so I was just reading everything I could find to get a jump on med school. I got here, they were setting up medical facilities with all of one doctor so he trained me.” 

“And how’d you meet Joel?” She was sitting back in he chair, watching you. His name made your stomach clench. 

“You could ask him,” you said, looking at the almost empty tea cup. 

She scoffed. 

“You are an off limits topic,” she said. “For both Miller men, as it happens. Joel doesn’t answer, Tommy says it’s not his shit to say. Joel got back from the trip with you, said nothing for three days and then pretended that nothing happened.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“And you don’t like not knowing,” you said. She smiled. 

“Exactly.” 

You signed, fidgeting with the mug. 

“I met Joel in 1999,” you said. Her eyes went wide. “It’s why they called me Kid, I was just 20 back then, still in college.” 

“Jesus, you were a kid. He still a grumpy asshole then?” She laughed. You laughed back. 

“Very rarely,” you said. “Punched Tommy in the face at a bar once because Joel was being an asshole and Tommy called him on it. Though I made him watch ‘When Harry Met Sally’ and he actually liked it. Tried so hard not to laugh at the fake orgasm scene he choked on his beer.” 

She laughed at that. She told you about some of her life before, too. Spending summer on a lake with her husband and son, a mishap when renovating their basement that left a giant splotch of paint over the new linoleum that they’d never been able to properly clean up. You got both of you beer.

“I was never sure who the outbreak was worse for,” she said. “People like me who had a life going that got ripped away or people like you who never really had a fucking chance at one.” 

“We all got screwed,” you said. “Sometimes I think we all died back then, everyone who’s left is just a ghost of what they would have been otherwise.” 

“And you still wear ribbons on your braids,” she nodded to your hair. You glanced down, the blue ribbon splotched purple where the blood had splattered it. You smiled a little. 

“There are very few things that make life worth it anymore,” you said after a moment. “And life is too short to not wear the damn ribbons.” 

You knew they were using the trauma kit supplies. Tess would show up every six weeks or so, asking for a resupply. She’d even asked for a new euthanasia kit once. You almost had a panic attack before she had the chance to tell you that it wasn’t Joel or Tommy, just a traveler they’d run into who couldn’t bring themselves to turn their gun on themselves. But you hadn’t needed to come pull a bullet out of any of them again, so you were counting their trips as a success. 

“Alright kids,” Lee came out from the exam area, lab coat still on. “We are all set, they’re getting dressed and then we are out of here!” 

“I’m going for the jukebox as soon as we get there,” Marta said. “No one try to stop me!” 

“Oh God,” Andrew groaned. “You’re going to make us listen to the Backstreet Boys all night aren’t you?” 

“Think they’re still alive out there?” She asked. “Just performing for some QZ on the west coast?” 

“Imagine if they’re infected,” Jess said. “You’re just walking down the street and then bam, attacked by a Backstreet Boy…” 

“This,” Andrew looked up at her. “This is why I love you.” 

Walking to the Speakeasy with everyone reminded you a little of college. It helped that you were wearing a sundress like you’d worn so much in Texas. It helped that the weather was warm and the sky was clear. Mostly, it helped that there were people laughing. You weren’t sure if your memory was just selective but it seemed like people just didn’t laugh anymore. 

There were some tables in the corner of the speakeasy that were open and you pushed them together, sitting down with your back against one of the walls. It just felt better that way. 

“Beer?” Andrew looked to Jess. She nodded and he turned to you. “Beer?” 

“I’m thinking a 1996 left bank Bordeaux, something with some good body to it,” you said, thinking. 

“Yeah, so beer?” He smiled. 

“Yes please,” you smiled back. 

“I only put on two songs,” Marta sat beside you. “So, Andrew, Mr. ‘If it’s not rock and roll it’s not music,’ will only have to suffer for so long.” 

“And if only we could get him to suffer in silence,” Jess mused. 

You laughed and Andrew brought beer and you sat drinking with your friends, forgetting for a minute that it was the end of the world. 

“Doc?” 

You turned to see a slightly familiar face. You frowned for a moment, trying to place him when it clicked. 

“Oh my gosh, Tim?” You asked. He smiled, nodding. “Holy cow, you’re so… adult!” 

He laughed. He was a student from your first year as a teacher in the QZ, finishing high school in 2007. You hadn’t seen him since. 

“Yeah, I’m 21 now,” he smiled proudly. “Doesn’t really matter much now but still, cool to say.” 

Bitter Sweet Symphony started playing and he held out his hand. 

“Wanna dance?” He asked. “I think the statute of limitations of you as my teacher are up.” 

“Fuck it,” you shook your head. “Why not?” 

“Yeah!” Marta whooped. “Getting Doc on the dance floor!” 

You flipped her off and she laughed as you followed behind him. 

Tim, you were happy to know, was doing alright for himself. He had a girlfriend he was crazy about. He was stuck working for FEDRA, of course, but he was doing some engineering work. 

“All because you made me interested in science,” he said, one hand at your waist, the other in yours. “So, thanks for that.” 

“You’d have gotten there eventually without me,” you smiled. “But I’ll take some credit for your success.” 

The song changed to something you didn’t recognize, something fun and upbeat. His face brightened. 

“Mind if I spin you?” He asked. “Always wanted to try that.” 

“I am in the dress for it,” you smiled a little. “Go for it, kid.” 

He clumsily twirled you under his arm until his fingers slipped out of yours and sent you spinning across the dance floor. You were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe and he took your hand again just as you saw Joel, watching you from across the bar. 

Your laughter died and your breath caught in your throat. Seeing him was like seeing a ghost. It took you a moment to understand why but then you realized it. Since November, you’d thought of the Joel you knew as though he were dead. He’d died with Sarah, back in September, 2003. He’d never made it to Boston. 

You’d mourned him in a way. You’d put the few clothes he’d left at your place into the floorboards with your stash - those weren’t his, after all - but left the picture of him, Sarah and you on your nightstand. That Joel wasn’t a killer. That Joel hadn’t blamed you for it. You’d taken to charging your old cell phone, reading back through texts with him and with Sarah that were still stored there every night before you fell asleep. There was a voicemail, too, one from a week before you visited the last time. 

“Hey Baby,” he’d said. “Think I fucked up the time difference again, must still be out with Louisa… Anyway, missin’ ya. Call me when you’re home safe. Love you.” 

That Joel was dead and the man he’d become was staring daggers at you. 

“Doc?” Tim said. 

“Mind if I cut in?” Andrew said. 

“Good to see you, Tim,” you managed to turn and smile at him. “Glad to know you’re doing well.” 

“Take care, Doc,” he smiled, leaving you with Andrew. He pulled you into his arms and put his mouth near your ear. 

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” he said quietly, holding you tightly to him so you had no choice but to sway with him. “We’re going to stay out here for this song and we’re going to have a great time. And then we’re going to go back to the table and drink the beers that Jess is getting us right now.” 

“I just…” 

“Nope,” he cut you off. “We’re not doing that, we’re not going to run away because that fucker showed up. We’re going to stay here and we’re going to have fun in spite of his ass. Got it?” 

You just nodded. 

“Good.” 

You weren’t paying attention to the music, the feeling of Joel’s eyes on you drowning out almost everything else, Andrew’s hands on you seeming like the only thing tethering you to the earth. You let him guide you back to the table, a fresh beer sitting in front of your seat. 

“Hey Doc!” Jess said brightly. “So an amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says ‘so… do I come here often?’” 

It took you a second and then you laughed, the spell of Joel’s eyes on you snapping. And life continued on. Until a Texas drawl appeared over your shoulder. 

“Scuse me.” Andrew’s eyes narrowed as you looked behind you, Tommy standing there. “I was really hoping I could get you onto the dance floor.” 

“Me,” you said, incredulous. 

“Well I try to make a habit of getting the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled. “So I’m just hopin’ you’ll cut me a break for old time’s sake.” 

“Look,” Andrew said, but you cut him off. 

“Why not,” you said. He smiled - that fucking Miller man smile - and offered you his hand. You took it and he pulled you to your feet and toward the dance floor. Linger was playing. He put his hands at your waist and your arms went around his neck, swaying in time. 

“So Kid,” he smiled. “How’ve you been?” 

“Good,” you said cautiously. You could feel Joel’s eyes on you. 

“I feel like you’re doubtin’ my good intentions,” he said. 

“If Joel sent you to talk to me, you can tell him to fuck off,” you said. 

“That asshole?” He scoffed. “He about ripped my arm off when I said I was going to ask you to dance, he doesn’t want me doin’ this. You think that’s the only reason I’d come talk to you?” 

“Maybe not the only reason,” you smiled a little. 

“Wasn’t joking about gettin’ the prettiest girl at the bar to give me the time of day,” he smiled back. “Got news for you, any bar you’re in? That’s you. I just have to talk you into it now.” 

You rolled your eyes and shook your head a little, smiling anyway. 

“You’re still such a player, aren’t you?” You teased. 

“Nah, just a charmer,” he said. 

“How’ve you been?” You asked. 

“Well as can be expected,” he shrugged. “Roommate’s a dick but…” 

You snorted and he smiled broader. 

“I told him he was a fuckin’ asshole for what he did to you, you know,” he said after a moment, face turning serious. “He was also a fuckin’ dumbass but he’s always been a dumbass. It’s the asshole shit I can’t stand.” 

“Let me know if the message ever sinks in,” you said wryly. 

“That’ll be the day,” he scoffed. 

The song shifted, something soft and slow. He tugged you closer and your cheek leaned into his chest. You danced quietly for a bit.

“I wanted to ask you out, back in the day,” he said eventually, his lips close to your ear. 

“Really?” You glanced up at him, not wanting to move your head. 

“Joel told me you were ‘off limits,’” he laughed a little. “Course I didn’t know that was because he wanted ya but…” 

“Damn,” you joked. “Dibs really put you off, huh?” 

“If I’d known it was just dibs it wouldn’t have,” he replied. 

The song changed to Black Magic Woman and he stepped back from you a bit. 

“Now, see, I might have had some ulterior motives,” he smiled sheepishly. “May have put this on the jukebox in hopes I could get you to dance to it with me…” 

“I don’t know how to dance to this,” you laughed, moving to head back to your seat, hand still in his. He caught you and pulled you back against him. 

“I do,” his hand went to the small of your back, pressing your hips against his. You swallowed. “Just gotta follow my lead, pretty girl.” 

He took the lead, his hips pushing against yours, moving in sharp rhythm. You could feel him through his jeans. His legs nudged yours in the right steps, your breasts flush against him. His eyes traced your face, lingering on your lips. 

The song felt too short, the two of you coming to a stop in the middle of the dance floor, bodies still close together. 

“How ‘bout a drink?” He smiled. 

“Sure,” you smiled back. He laced his fingers with yours and led you to the bar, just catching a glimpse of Joel standing up and storming off as you did. 

Tommy joined the table with your coworkers, pulling up a chair close to yours, one hand on the small of your back. Marta asked how you knew each other and immediately latched on to the “we’ve been friends for 11 years” thing to get stories out of him like the time he tried to teach you to grill and you accidentally set the thing on fire and seriously considered pushing it into the pool to put it out. 

“We’re gonna head out,” Andrew said before he leaned in to kiss your cheek goodbye, whispering in your ear as he did. “You OK?” 

You just nodded and he left with Jess. You realized then that they were the last of the party to leave. 

“One more drink,” Tommy smiled. “Just you and me.” 

“Well if you’re going to twist my arm about it,” you smiled back. 

The bar was emptying out, just a few stragglers left on the dance floor. Tommy got you both a whiskey on the rocks, sitting next to you in a booth, putting his arm around your shoulders. You propped your feet on the chair across the table from you and leaned your head on his chest, swirling the whiskey in your chipped glass. The ice clinked. 

“Missed seein’ you,” he said after a minute, taking a drink. “You always just… Made shit better. It’s all brighter with you.” 

“You’re sweet,” you smiled a little, taking a drink. “And I’ve missed seeing you, too.” 

Closing Time came on and Tommy laughed. 

“We can take a hint!” He yelled over your head before finishing his drink. “We’re goin, we’re goin.” 

You laughed, polishing yours off, too, before getting up. You could just barely feel the alcohol in your head, far from drunk and just on the edge of tipsy. 

“C’mon,” he said. “I’ll walk you home.” 

“You know, I walk home on my own late at night most days,” you said, following him out of the bar, anyway. “Always ends up fine.” 

“Humor me,” he smiled, holding out his hand. You smiled back, taking it. He tugged you close to him, setting an easy pace. 

You talked about random things you missed about Austin, laughing when you mentioned your favorite second hand clothing shop downtown near campus. 

“Isn’t that just shopping now?” He teased. 

“Oh you know it’s not the same,” you laughed. “I got this great dress there once from the 70s. I think I only wore it once, to a wedding, but damn did it make my boobs look fantastic. One of life’s great regrets is the fact that it’s rotting away in my closet in New York.” 

“Damn,” he shook his head. “Now one of my great regrets is not seeing that dress…” 

You laughed, stopping at the door to your building. 

“This is me,” you half smiled. 

“How about I walk you up?” He asked. You raised your eyebrows. “I know I know, but how often do you walk home from the clinic with a few drinks in you?”

“I’ve treated you, do you want to know the answer to that question?” You teased. He laughed. 

“Well those times, I wouldn’t have to feel guilty if somethin’ happened to ya,” he said. “Let me walk you up.” 

“If that’s what will help you live the dream, Miller, far be it from me to stop you.” 

You opened the communal door and led the way upstairs, stopping by your apartment. 

“See?” You teased, after unlocking your door but leaving it closed and turning to face him. “So eventful.” 

He leaned his arm against the door frame, caging you in on one side. His eyes dropped to your lips before going back to your eyes. 

“Still think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he said quietly, his free hand delicately lifting your chin toward him. 

“Tommy,” you breathed. His hand slipped from your chin to the back of your head, his thumb still along your cheek. 

“Want me to stop?” He asked, moving closer.

You swallowed. 

“No,” you said. 

“Good,” he said. “Neither do I.” 

He kissed you then. Soft, gentle, his lips parting just enough that you could taste the whiskey on his breath. He leaned his body into yours, the hips that had been moving with yours on the dance floor pressing into you a different way now. A familiar ache sparked low in your stomach as you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck. 

You weren’t sure how long he kissed you, but after a moment, he pulled back, a little breathless. 

“Why don’t we go inside?” He said softly. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, opening the door behind you. 

Things moved a lot faster then. His hands slid the straps of your dress down your arms before your door was fully closed. He reached to lock it while you fumbled with the buckle of his belt. His lips were on yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, his hands ranging over every inch of skin they could reach before sliding your dress down to pool on the floor. You pulled at the buttons of his shirt until you were able to shove it off and he quickly unclipped your bra. He looked down at your bare chest, panting for breath a little. 

“Damn,” he said. “Don’t regret not seein’ the dress anymore. This is so much fuckin’ better.” 

He stepped out of his boots quickly and you unbutton and unzipped his pants. You kicked off your sandals and he tugged your panties down, leaving them on the floor as you pulled him against you toward your bed. He paused, your legs against the bed, his hands holding you gently. 

“You sure you’re good with this?” He asked. 

“Just kiss me, Miller,” you said. He wasted no time obliging. 

You pulled him onto your bed with you, his weight settling easily between your thighs. He slid a hand down your body to your pussy, softly tracing your clit for a moment before pressing his fingers against you, working you in slow, longing circles. You moaned against his mouth, rocking your hips against his hand. You felt him smile against your lips. 

Tommy slipped a thick finger inside you, exploring you, the tip brushing your inner walls until he found the spot that made your toes curl. He added another finger, working both of them against the place inside you, adding his thumb to your clit until your back arched and you came with a loud moan around him. 

“Fuck, gorgeous,” he pressed his lips to your collar bone. “Gonna need you to do that again while I’m inside you… you’ve got me fuckin’ desperate for it…” 

“Then get inside me,” you panted, reaching between your bodies to take his cock in your hand. He was thick, hard, not so long that you were worried about whether or not he would fit but long enough that you knew he would fill you. You worked him up and down, spreading the wetness from his tip over him. 

“Tryin’ to kill me, I swear,” he said, slipping his fingers from inside you to himself, brushing your hand away. He lined himself up with your entrance, pressed his lips to yours and thrust into you. 

The stretch was immediate, a sharp but pleasant burn as he sank into you. He moaned against your lips and you rocked your hips against him, making his movements stutter. 

“You trying to make me cum before I’m even inside you?” He gasped. “Fucking hell, girl.” 

He thrust the rest of the way inside you in one quick, hard motion, making your back arch, pulling a delicious moan from your lips. His arm slipped below you, pulling your torso flush with his as he began to fuck into you, his thick cock sliding out to just the tip before thrusting back against your back wall with every stroke. You clung to him as his lips found your throat, your breasts, his hard length moving faster, more forcefully every time. The tip of him was hitting the spot inside you with every movement, your second orgasm building fast. 

“Fuck, I’m going to…” you managed. He thrust harder, your sentence ending in a strangled cry. 

“Won’t last when you do,” he gasped. “Where can I…” 

“I’m on the pill,” you said quickly. 

“Thank fuck.” 

He picked up the pace, holding himself deep inside you every few strokes, your body tightening and coiling around him until you felt the taught band of pleasure snap, your core pulsing around him. 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck…” he groaned, thrusting two more times before collapsing on top of you, both of you limp and gasping for breath. 

He pressed his lips to your throat, still deep inside you, and you saw the picture frame with Joel and Sarah on your nightstand out of the corner of your eye. While he was distracted, you reached up and silently set it face down before wrapping your arms around the man in your bed. 

A/N: THAT'S RIGHT GUYS SHE'S GETTING WITH BOTH BROTHERS AND JOEL FUCKING HATES IT. This has been building since literally day one of this story lol. Tommy has had a crush on her FOREVER and now it's finally paying off - for him and for us (because we get the drama of it)

I have a taglist, so if you'd like to be included, just comment below! Thank you so so much for reading and following along. I hope you enjoy the drama and the angst! Love you all!

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10

[no-thoughts-only-soup]

To Secure / Risk It All

Chapter 8

Aka Curt has another panic attack.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11

———————————————

It was impossible. It had to be some sort of cruel prank. Because there was no way Chilly Panda was alive.

He wanted to believe she was. That despite all that happened, all evidence saying otherwise, that she had somehow escaped their clutches. Maybe she had somehow called upon her raptors. Maybe she had lived through it, and they hadn’t noticed. Maybe-

“Yeeeaaaaaaas!”

A chorus of cheers erupted throughout the room.

“We’re six now ya’ll!” Den cheered loudly, patting the monitor.

“There is SIX of us and 5 dozen of THEM.” Christian laughed.

Ivan rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t keep a straight face. “Damn, you couldn’t even stay dead?”

- Bitch. -

- 凸(⊙▂⊙✖ ) -

“They couldn’t even kill off Chilly.” Kristine pointed out with a giggle.

“Yeah why the hell did we go through all of that if you’re not even dead?” Christian joked, leaning in closer and tapping on the screen.

Ivan floated next up to him. “Bruh does that mean I died for fucking nothing?”

“Don’t forget Curt having an actual panic attack.” Den pointed over her shoulder at Curt.

At any other time, he would have joined in. Joined in with the laughter. Joined in with the jokes. But it felt like all energy had been sapped away from him, leaving him with just enough to keep standing.

She’s alright. They were still laughing and joking. She isn’t dead. They felt so far away. You didn’t fail her. Everything still felt so heavy.

Den shoved Christian aside. For whatever reason, the action snapped him out of his thoughts. Gathering whatever he still had left, he stepped closer. Kristine took a step aside to let him get closer, and he caught a glimpse of her face.

A smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Was it a pang of guilt? Of remorse for ever helping the Foundation? Was it longing? For being more than a replacement for a lost friend? Was it a feeling of being an outsider? For not being able to understand some of the inside jokes? Or was it a mix of many things?

Curt didn’t know and he chided himself for trying to pry. Those weren’t his feelings to figure out.

“But where are you Chilly? From where are you typing this?”

“Yeah, how the hell do we get out?” Ivan asked.

That was a bit of silence. And finally typing.

- actually… -

Curt felt immense dread in his stomach.

- I’m really dead -

The air around them felt cold. Oppressive.

“Wh-“ Ivan began, but Chilly was already typing again.

- they ran a bunch of tests on me. dunno why and I don’t remember what exactly killed me, but I died. been haunting the facility since -

Curt swallow some spit into his dry throat. “Y-you… they tested you because you’re an SCP like us. To see if you could survive i-if you’re not in a scenario…”

- well clearly not :P -

He couldn’t laugh. He knew she was trying to lighten up the atmosphere, but he couldn’t bring himself to laugh.

He wasn’t alone in that. The closest was a slight, clearly forced smile on some of them.

“So,” Ivan interrupted the silence “are you a ghost like me now?”

- nah it’s different -

- it’s like -

Stop. Backspace.

- well -

Backspace.

- I’m kinda like a more cliché ghost? I can’t talk to u guys outside of this computer, I’m pretty much invisible, I dunno -

Heavy. It felt heavy. The air felt heavy.

A hand grabbed his wrist, grabbing Curt’s attention. He glanced over. Den still had her eyes on the screen, but the hand she had wrapped around his wrist said all that needed to be said. He choose not to address it, letting her keep him grounded.

It allowed him to focus. “Wait, maybe we can fix this. If you join us, maybe you’ll go back to life after we close the scenario.”

“Could work.” Ivan noted. “But we need her body too, right?”

“Chilly, you know what happened to your body?” Den asked her.

Pause.

- not really. I was drugged the fuck up for the whole thing -

No. He refused.

“Kristine,” he turned to her, “do you have any idea where it could be?”

She shifted around a bit, eyes looking in his direction but not really meeting his eyes. “No, I wasn’t allowed near the research stations…”

- curt, arent YOU the b-class? shouldn’t YOU know? -

“Do you think I would ask if I knew!?” He snapped at her, then leaned forward to type at another computer. “Come on, there’s gotta be a way to figure it out…”

The screens flicked from camera to camera, each adding to the growing pit of dread in Curt’s stomach. Every camera he checked, there were armed guards. There had to be something. Anything. They wouldn’t—

“Curt,” Den’s voice called out to him “they probably got rid of her body. I don’t wanna be a downer but—“

“They wouldn’t.” He cut her off. “Her body would be too valuable for that. T-They’d research it…”

“But that’s against the safety rules!” Kristine argued.

“Well clearly Snee doesn’t care about any damn rules!”

Come on, come on! It couldn’t be gone, it should still be there somewhere! He could still fix this, he could-

Christian grabbed his arm. “Dude, stop for a sec.”

Curt pulled his arm back.

“Oi, don’t fucking ignore me.” Christian said, grabbing Curt’s shoulder and forcefully turning him away from the computer. “Listen to me. I know you want to help Chilly, we all do! But we can’t help anyone if we get recaptured. We have to get the hell out!”

“AND LEAVE HER BEHIND!?” Curt roared at him.

Christian flinched from the sudden loud yell, and Curt took the chance to pull his arm away from his grasp. He glared at all of them.

“If we don’t get her out now we may never get that chance again! What the hell is wrong with you guys, am I the only one who fucking cares about her!?”

“Do you?” Christian snapped at him. “Or are you just trying to fix your ‘mistakes’ so you can stop feeling guilty?”

The silence was deafening. A knife wouldn’t be enough to cut through the tension. Everyone’s eyes were on Curt.

He wanted to reply. Make some snapping remark that of course he was doing this for Chilly. That of course he wasn’t doing this for some stupid sense of guilt. For making up to the fact it was his—

But the nasty part within him muted him before he could speak.

He has a point, doesn’t he?

So instead, he turned back to the computer. “…Both. And does it matter, the end result is still the sa—YEOUCH!”

An electric shock went through his hand, not strong enough to numb his arm, but still enough to sting. He shook out his hand. And then he saw Chilly typing.

- curt, leave it. it’s ok -

“Wha- No, its not ok!”

- no really. because, actually… -

There was a long pause.

- I’ve been thinking of taking a break from the group anyways -

He couldn’t breathe.

“Chilly…” Den whispered softly.

- it’s not because of you guys! I dunno how to best explain it, but it’s like, wanting to rediscover myself??? do some soulsearching??? trying to fuck around on my own and seeing what happens? if that makes sense??? -

Ivan raised an eyebrow. “You sure it’s not because of all the bullying?”

The computer vibrated with laughter.

- LMAOOOOO U COULDNT BULLY ME OUT IF YUO TRIED ಥ‿ಥ -

Den grinned and tried to nudge Ivan’s ghostly form. “We’d bully you out first.”

- absolutely (๑´• .̫ •ू`๑) -

- but fr don’t worry about me. ( ͒꒪̛ཅ꒪̛ ͒) if anything I can now go literally fucking anywhere I want and if I wanna be alive again we’ll just infiltrate this bitch -(๑☆‿ ☆#)ᕗ -

Den’s eyes sparkled. “Dude you can haunt a Starbucks.”

- KSNDBKSBSVKSJDBS SCRATCH ALL PLANS IM DOING THAT ⊹⋛⋋( ՞ਊ ՞)⋌⋚�� -

As Den, Ivan and Chilly laughed and teased, Curt felt like he was slipping. Everything felt like it was fading away. Their voices felt like they were melting together. The room felt like it was tilting.

No, no, no, he couldn’t fall into another attack now! They were on borrow time, at any moment the guards could barge in and—

But he was losing control. He was losing control. He was losing control. Losing control. Losing control. Control. Control. Control control control control control control control “Hey.” control control control control control control control control control control control control “hey!”

Christian moved into his vision. “Do you need to sit down for a moment?”

Curt stopped, his breath still uneven. His eyes flickered towards the others. They were still talking, but he caught the occasional glances they snuck at him. He stumbled back a little, getting some distance from the situation.

Almost without a single sound, Christian joined him, gently helping him breathe through it. Bit by bit, he pushed down the fear and panic once more.

He was definitely gonna throw up once they got out. If.

No. He steadied himself. We are going to get out. We will get out… or die trying.

And with a last deep breath, he locked eyes with Christian. The question went unspoken, but so did the answer. He stepped forward, interrupting the conversation between the others.

“It won’t be long before Snee finds us. We need a plan, stat.”

Ivan bit his lip. “We can’t get out through any of the exits. Maybe we could try a window.”

“We’d first need to get out of the panic room though.” Den pointed out. “Chilly, are there any guards heading in our direction?”

The computer was still for a moment.

- yeah, there’s a few getting close. doubt y’all are getting out without a fight -

Den crackled her knuckles upon hearing that, but Curt cut her off. “There is no way we can barge through so many. It’s too dangerous.”

“Do we have a choice though?” Ivan questioned.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Kristine suddenly shouted, raising her hand in the air like a desperate student. “If we can pretty much create whatever we want, why don’t we just make a teleporter?”

There was a silence of more than 10 seconds as everyone gaped at her.

Curt sunk to his knees, covering his face with his hands. “OH MY GOOOOOOOD!”

Everyone around him descended into hysterical laughter, Den and Christian even throwing in a “looooser!”, and even Chilly displaying a large L on the screen.

“WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT WHYYYYYYYYYY!”

“Ok, ok, I am holding this one against you dude.” Christian laughed.

Curt sighed deeply. “I am so fucking done y’all.

The laughter finally faded enough for Curt to stand up, sigh, and look at Kristine.

“Alright Kristine, how do you wanna do this?”

She thought, but only for a split second. “Can our teleporter be a 2004 Toyota Accord Sedan?”

It immediately prompted another round of giggles and chuckled, and even Curt felt the corners of his mouth move. “Sure, sure. Everyone, stand back a bit.”

Once everyone had made room, Curt spoke: “Alright, so Kristine summons her trusty teleporting 2004 Toyota Sedan…”

The car popped into existence, pushing all of them back even further.

“Shotgun!” Den immediately yelled, followed by Christian pouting over it. Kristine cheered and made her way over to the driver’s seat.

Curt was about to join, but then paused. No. He had to say it. He turned to Chilly instead.

“Chilly,” he began, his heart feeling as heavy as lead “I know I’m not directly responsible for what happened to you. But maybe if I had stepped up sooner, figured it out sooner, then maybe we could have escaped before your death. I’m…” his voice cracked “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t prevent this.”

There was a break in the storm of laughter. All eyes were focused on him and Chilly. Waiting for what she’d say.

And she finally typed.

- BITCH DO YOU NOT THINK I WOULDNT FUCKING HAUNT YOUR ASS IF I BLAMED YOU EVEN A LITTLE???? -

“Wh-“

- CURT FFS HOW LONG HAVE WE KNOWN EACH OTHER??? HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN BULLYING EACH OTHER??? DO U SERIOUSLY NOT THINK I WOULDNT TAKE THIS EXCUSE???? -

“I…I…” he stuttered.

- curt, I don’t blame u for shit so stop being such a sad sack about it -

She didn’t blame him. She wasn’t mad. She could’ve been. She should have been.

But she wasn’t.

- not even I’m blaming you so stop blaming urself already dumbass -

“Chilly…”

He took a deep breath… and smiled. “Thank you.”

Curt suddenly felt something warm against his chest, wrapping itself around him. And even though he knew how stupid he’d look, he hugged back.

It was gone before he knew it, but Christian next to him shifted, grinning ear to ear as held up one crooked arm, akin to how he would sling his arm around his neck. “Girl I better hear on the news how you haunted the White House.”

“You gotta get on an episode of Ghost Hunters.” Den laughed, and then grinned as Chilly’s spirit hugged her next.

When she moved on to Ivan, Curt could finally get a glimpse of her.

She was happy.

Ivan ruffled her head, or at least that’s what he intended, complaining how he was gonna get the full buttmonkey treatment. “Now I don’t got you to divert some of it, they’re all gonna focus on me now.”

And finally, Kristine held up her hand, only a little awkwardly. From the way she beamed, Chilly gave her the high five.

“I’ll bully them in your place.” She proudly vowed.

There was a quick moment of warmth again as she quickly phased through all of them…

And she was gone.

Curt exhaled slowly. And jumped as a loud BANG sounded from the door.

“Ok we gotta get the fuck outta here.”

“Kristine take the wheel!” Den yelled as she jumped into the passenger’s seat, Christian still complaining as he got into the back.

Kristine got into the driver’s seat with a laugh, and Curt went to sit right behind her. Ivan of course couldn’t actually enter the car, but he hang onto the roof anyways.

The door broke down just as Kristine started the car. Curt flipped them off. And a second later, the car and all those inside vanished from the room, and from the facility.

——————————————————-

I was gonna end the chapter somewhere else originally, but I’ve tortured you guys with my absences enough.

Wil edit properly once I got time.

[itlivesproject]

here is the abel simp anon ILW FINALE thought dump (part 2! covers from when we play as devon until as we play as rowan)

2 months later? damn

NOW PLAYING AS DEVON??????? I HAD TO PUT THE GAME DOWN JUST TO GASP

….the memorial? oh dear grab the tissues

WE SAVED EVERY POSSIBLE SURVIVOR LET’S GO

connor is back and i am just as in love with him as ever

“Besides, you know how great a couple she and Abel make. I'm sure they're both doing great together.” i think i actually just squeaked

YOU CAN’T REMIND ME OF MAYOR GREEN.. AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER ???

and janie :(

loha… she deserved so much better :(

and finally, jessica, the start of it all (whose cg remains to be one of the best things i’ve ever seen in my life)

lincoln giving ratty matty’s money to a nonprofit for DA, that’s our guy!!!!!

i think lincoln aquino is a beautiful name! much better than the ties to the mcquoid name, i’m happy for him<3

amalia and jocelyn being besties? impeccable friendship

AND THE CURE IS WORKING! I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM ALL

and amalia’s school record are fixed ??? THAT’S MY GIRL!!! SHE’S GONNA BE THE BEST LAWYER THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

ELLIOT AND ROBBIE!!!!

harper and tom being the cutest for 1 minute straight

omg devon and harper having a handshake?? besties confirmed

CONNOR AND NOAH MY LOVES

someone pay for connor’s therapy PLEASE he will need bucket-loads of it at this point

THE COPS DROPPED NOAH’S INVESTIGATION?? MY BOY!! HE IS FREE!!!

“you know you can stay here for as long as you need” CONNOR AND NOAH ARE BEST FRIENDS CANONICALLY BECAUSE I SAY SO

noah’s mother hate club ‼️

sunny and luis deserve every happiness this world has to offer

ava thinking that being possessed was cool is so on brand😭

“Also, you need therapy.” dan keepin things real

the green siblings have my whole heart

CONNOR DIRTY THIRTY???????????? this is truly the best possible ending.

new music track????

“I love you when you're teasing me, I love you when we fight. love you when you're covered in blood or monster guts.” “Connor tells you these words every morning when you wake up, and every night when he goes to bed, but somehow, it always manages to feel like it's the first time he's said them.” he is the only man to ever exist. (alongside abel of course)

also connor, strong disagree with the chocolate in the fridge thing

STOP IT !???? PROPOSAL ???!?????? I STOOD UP. I WAS SAT DOWN AND I HAD TO STAND UP.

YES. HELL YES. MARRIAGE?!!

“Come on, sweetheart. Marry me?” WELL HOW THE HELL DO I SAY NO TO THAT???

i am grinning like a FOOL

“Your heart lifts to your throat as you examine the ring. It's so detailed, so personal. Leaves, like the forest around you, the forest you fell in love in. Your initials carved into the bottom. A diamond like you've always wanted.” i think i just died and went to heaven. HE IS THE CUTEST MAN EVER STOP IT

AND HE MADE IT HIMSELF? why don’t men like him actually exist.

i am now sat back down but i will stand back up if i need to. that is a threat.

THERES MORE?

“It's a house. With a yard for a dog, and enough rooms for guests and offices, and an address that doesn't confuse delivery drivers. It looks happy. And it's ours, if you want it.” the only reason i am not crying rn is because i am positively overwhelmed

i could literally quote all of his dialogue because it is all so incredible but i’m going to stop because this is long enough as it is😭

“God, you're so put together and capable. It's hot.” devon keeping it real

“Sweetheart, I love you, but all my lines work on you.” i said i would stop quoting connor and i lied, i just love him so much

“It’s no wonder there are deep grooves in the paint” YOU DIDN’T

for the one and only connor dirty thirty…. you guys nailed it (😏) also fun fact, if you remember getting as ask right at the very start of the project asking if connor green was in it and if we could bang him… that was me😳

“He wraps his arms around you, and it feels like coming home” ok it’s like you’re TRYING to get me to tear up now

(continued in part 3!)

-abel simp anon🤍

PART TWO

[nightcolorz]

Poorly describing my versions of the Gotham rogues:

Joker: “yolo” in its most dangerous form, def is writing a slow burn enemies to loves fic about him and Batman. Gay and homophobic 💯 The other rogues don’t invite him to pride celebrations anymore cause he’ll keep calling people slurs “as a joke”. Him and Edward have longterm beef, like schoolgirl levels of petty drama.

Harley Quinn: would describe herself as a “girlboss” unironically while committing heinous crimes. tweeted “clowns aren’t funny” after breaking up with Joker (ended up causing a huge scandal). The OG “I can fix him” girl. Is sort of the rogues free underground therapist (god knows they need it) cause they can’t get professional help without being sent to Arkham.

Poison Ivy: Breaking News: Cottagecore lesbian commits mass murder cause her plant wilted. She’s what republicans think environmentalists are. Would get in a fist fight with that vegan teacher cause “plants have feelings too”. Has beef with most of the male rogues, supports ‘kill all men’ without realizing it’s a joke (she prefers ‘kill all humans’ but figured she had to downgrade because the Gotham city sirens are humans technically).

Cat Woman: “OH NO! It appears I’ve gotten stuck backwards in the bank vault step-Bat 😏😏😏😏😏😏, looks like I’m not stealing any more diamonds today 😰😩”. Mad respect for Selina, she just wants diamonds and bat dick, no tragic backstory or complex motivations needed. I personally like to headcanon her as wearing a straight up cat costume (ears and a tail like a true furry) cause it’s way funnier to imagine a sophisticated rich woman dressing up as a cat to steal shit than whatever bullshit DCs up to these days. Trans catgirl supremacy 💎👍

Scarecrow: That one guy who gets angry at people because “Halloween costumes are meant to be scary 🤬😡😑😒”. Doesn’t even attempt to express emotions, is the human embodiement of this emoji: 😐. His presence is more jarring than threatening, his intimidation levels are somehow underwhelming and overwhelming at the same time. The other rogues have collectively decided that he’s asexual under no assumption other than that they don’t want to imagine Jonathan having sex. Overtime Jonathan has become basically fearless (he smokes his own fear gas like vape just to feel something). Jonathan and Harley became good friends when they both worked in Arkham, their dynamic is surprisingly wholesome.

The Riddler: Didn’t get hugged enough as a child and is now making it everyone’s problem. Would hold a bank hostage to show Batman his third grade spelling bee medal. Is the only autistic rogue that gets accommodations in Arkham because he won’t stop bugging the guards. FTM trans ofc (his names Edward Nygma for Christ's sake). He ran away from home at seventeen and faked his own death (his deadname is legally dead lmao). Uses the terms “alpha, beta, and omega male” unironically.

Two Face: “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t wanna blow up the orphanage either, but Y’know the coin said-” The other rogues talk to Harvey as if he’s constantly at his breaking point, which is half true. Harv is a stone cold mf, he’s the rock that’s holding Two Face together tbh. Edward calls Harvey and Harv Jekyll and Hyde cause he’s that original. All the rogues have at least a sneaking suspicion that Bruce Wayne is batman and use Harvey as their little primary source (being ex besties and everything), until they find out Selina and Bruce are a thing of course. No matter how much evidence he’s faced with Harvey will never accept Bruce Wayne is batmam, he’s not ready to consider that one of the only positive people in his life has been duking it out with him this whole time.

Penguin: He’s the rest of the rogues chill gay gangster uncle I don’t make the rules. The iceberg lounge is like the Batman villain equivalent of The Central Perk from friends (aka: its their default place to hangout). Oswald always makes a fuss about them not making reservations ahead of them but at this point it’s just performative. Everyone’s 99% sure Oswald and Edward fucked at some point (Edward always makes a show of flustering Oswald when he needs a loan). Ossie always takes care of the others belongings when they’re in Arkham (he has a special place in his heart for Jonathan‘s crows).

The Mad Hatter: I love Jervis lmao he just really likes Alice in Wonderland and that’s a valid ass villain motivation 👍. One of the smartest rogues but doesn’t get enough credit because of how childish he is. He dresses in kids clothes, not just because he wants to but because he’s small af and can’t fit in shit. In public while the rogues are undercover Jervis usually wears a beanie or a baseball cap (he’d get spotted instantly if he wore his usual, but on bad days Jervis can’t bear to be without a hat). Jonathan and Jervis play chess a lot together in Arkham, and frequently engage in intellectual discussion, Edward tends to be a piss baby when Jon encourages him to do the same, he’s not ready to accept the reality that Jervis can match his intelligence.

Killer Croc: Waylon has a surprising amount in common with Jonathan, they share southern solidarity. He doesn’t travel out of the sewer often so the rogues will occasionally come to visit Waylon there (Edward always makes sure to complain loudly about the smell). Will show immense affection and loyalty to anyone who treats him as human (poor guy just needs a friend ☹️).

Mr Freeze: Literally just dead inside, someone give this poor bastard a hug. Victor stands as the most awkward rogue, he‘s sorta like the odd one out. The other rogues don’t interact with him that often because he’s sort of a party pooper. He’s the straight friend on thin ice, haha get it. Mr Freeze is my sisters favorite Batman villain because she thought the ice puns were funny in Batman in Robin, little does she know I’m embarrassing myself on tumblr in her glory.

Music Meister: So many of the Gotham rogues have horrible childhood trauma and Music Meister is just like “people bullied me for being a theater kid 😩😭💔😔”. In all honesty he’s iconic, in my au universe thingy I have him join the dork squad latter on and he sticks out like a sore thumb for a bit. I feel like him and Jervis would really hit it off though (mind control buddies, ha), although Jervis would always get him to sing Alice in Wonderland songs. In Arkham they have him wear a dog collar thingy and zap him when he sings, he gets bullied for that lol. anyways I’m sure I could make more of these, but it’s 2:20 am and my mind went blank. If y’all liked this I could always put more au headcanons out (I have A LOT)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 325: Deku VS the Outside of U.A. ~Conclusion~

Previously on BnHA: Ochako was all “dear bloodthirsty mob, this kid you see standing before you has fought harder than anyone and put his life on the line to protect you all, so please chill the fuck out, jesus christ. like, putting aside that he’s humanity’s best hope and so it’s very much in your best interests to let him rest and recover someplace safe so that he can keep fighting for us, are y’all seriously going to turn away an injured and exhausted child in front of his sobbing mother?? seriously?? come on now.” I’m paraphrasing here but that’s basically how it went down. Anyway so then the mob was all, “...” and Deku collapsed to his knees in tears, and Gigantic Fox Lady and Kouta ran over to give him a hug but then the chapter ended.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “FINE, YOU CAN HUG HIM”, which, was that so hard?? The U.A. Clown Mob is all “come to think of it, we’ve kind of been taking the heroes for granted this entire time, maybe we should be less passive in the future. anyway so Deku if it’s not too much to ask, can you please save everyone and fix everything.” Deku is all “I sure can, and by the way I forgive you for swarming around all menacingly two minutes ago and trying to deny me basic shelter and stuff.” Ectoplasm is all, “hey Todogang get a load of this. [walks in a circle].” Hawks is all, “that’s literally the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rat Principal is all, “anyway so that’s what your students did today, hope you’re enjoying your new *~*ROBOT LEG*~*, Aizawa.” Aizawa is all “[lots of exposition about Kurogiri and for some reason, Toga, while being all brooding and sexy].” All Might is all “[standing here right outside of U.A. doing absolutely nothing and being foreboding AF]” and that immediately sucked away all of the warm fuzzy feelings from the hugs, goddammit.

each new week has become a waiting game of “when will Deku finally get to take a bath so people will actually be willing to go near him and give him the hugs he deserves.” the stakes have never been so compelling. I’ve almost forgotten about AFO entirely

lmaoooooo

me: for the love of god will someone please give Deku a hug before I die of old age

Mineta: YOU GOT IT!! --

Iida: [SWIFTLY CUTS HIM OFF] NOT YOU

fucking losing it at Mineta’s crying face. he really wanted to hug him. I legit feel bad but this is also the funniest thing I have seen all week, omg

somehow Kouta, who last week was only a hand’s breadth away from touching Deku’s head, is now twenty miles away from him in this new chapter

can I make a Loki reference here. is this recap a good place to insert a joke about someone using a TVA time-rewinding device to fuck with my poor boy Kouta over here. well anyway there it is

AND NOW HE’S BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN OMG

(ETA: since when is he “niichan” omg?? can’t handle this cuteness.)

BUT THEY’RE STILL NOT HUGGING HIM FFFFKFFFFF. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO. WHO DO I HAVE TO BRIBE AND/OR BLACKMAIL

OH NO KOUTA IS CRYING THAT’S IT I’M DONE FOR

“when I heard that lady I knew that I had to go, but then stop again within inches of actually touching you because you smell like week-old rotten onions.” listen Kouta, I’m not saying I don’t get it, but you all can’t keep doing this to me. it’s the way you guys keep teasing it. like, if you’re gonna hug him, hug him. don’t just stand there with your arms held rigidly out in front of you like a molded action figure

OH MY GOSH BUT HE SAID THE THING

KOUTA SWOOPING IN AT THE LAST MINUTE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT FOR FIXING DEKU LIKE THAT ONE KID IN THE GROUP PROJECT WHO DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT STILL TAGS HIS NAME ONTO THE REPORT ANYWAY, WHAT A KNAVE

GASP

(  ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

SHE PICKED HIM UP LIKE A LITTLE BABY OMG?? she just leaned right over and lifted this child like he was a small animal. like a lil baby futon that she was about to hang up to dry. oh my god

-- HEY WHAT

(: well that’s extremely fucked up. though sadly not too surprising given what we just saw these past couple chapters

incidentally, I hope that anyone who was legitimately defending the civilians’ perspective earlier takes note here of how quickly that line of thinking -- “we’re just trying to keep our families safe” and all that-- can lead to straight up bigotry. if you’re willing to deny a child shelter and protection simply because he’s not YOUR child, and because you’ve decided based on Internet rumors (no real-world parallels there, I’m sure) that he might present a threat, it’s really not that much further of a leap to discriminating against entire groups of people simply because you perceive those groups as being dangerous. I’m sure the people who turned Gigantic Fox Lady away also told themselves afterwards that they did it to protect their families. “better safe than sorry.” “she’ll be fine, someone will take her in, but as for us, we can’t afford to take that risk.” people can come up with all kinds of justifications for treating other people as less than human, and the really scary thing about it is how fucking easy it is

one last quick side note, which is that Horikoshi does a great job here of showing how scapegoating works, given that AFO is the one who’s really to blame and who presents the actual threat, and yet Deku is the one who ultimately winds up being the target of the mob’s fear and outrage despite him being as much of a victim as they are. gotta love that irony, which unfortunately plays out far too often in the real world as well.

anyway I’ll get off my soapbox now, sorry about that. let us continue

YES, FINALLY OH MY GOD!!!!

AND THAT’S THE STORY OF HOW GIGANTIC FOX LADY BECAME THE GREATEST HERO. PACK IT ALL UP, WE’RE DONE HERE KIDS

holy shit. the real MVP right there. thanks for getting it done champ

jesus christ I have had it up to here with these people

literally the bar is set so low at this point that I’ll go ahead and take it. helping him because it offers them a tactical advantage is at least one step up from not helping him at all

“WHY NOT SHIKETSU” MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

-- thank you!!

okay this one guy with the antennae hair is having himself a character development speedrun here

-- okay, but this part?? fucking this part, right here??

can we repeat that again?? the part where this guy acknowledges that the problems of hero society were caused not just by said heroes, but also by said society?? the part where he acknowledges that they treated the heroes like celebrities who were putting on a show for them?? the part where he acknowledges that when push came to shove, the vast majority of those heroes, when faced with a situation that offered no reward, were nonetheless willing to put their lives on the line to protect the very same people who then turned around and blamed them rather than thanking them?? are the civilians of BnHA even allowed to have actual deep thoughts about this stuff. holy shit

bro!!

ANTENNAE HAIR GUY SHOVING KOUTA AND GIGANTIC FOX LADY OUT OF THE WAY TO SLAP HIS NAME ONTO THE END CREDITS AS EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. CONGRATULATIONS SON YOU FIGURED OUT THE CORE PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION AT THE VERY HEART OF THE MANGA. WAY TO GO BUD

meanwhile, on today’s episode of “one more chapter to go till the big volume cliffhanger, how else can I drag things out let’s see”

it’s a panel. of people’s feet. just a bunch of normal feet. with sneakers and shit

this All Might shirt guy is getting more screentime in this arc than 90% of the class 1-A kids

I guess I’m supposed to feel sorry for this dude now that he’s all “if we let you stay here do you promise to somehow magically fix every single problem that we are now currently facing?” those are some ridiculously exacting standards my dude. come on now

KACCHAN SIGHTING

thank fuck I’m not the only one who’s thoroughly unimpressed by absolutely all of this lol. I feel better now. meanwhile Iida and Kouda and Kiri are ready to run over there and hug them all. you guys are way too forgiving. damn you and your pure hearts

anyway so Deku’s like “yeah, definitely”

(ETA: almost forgot to comment on the “I’m no longer alone” part – he basically corrects the guy and says “sorry, but you’ll need to direct that question towards all of us, not just me, because moving forward we’re a team.” good stuff.)

you know what though, all joking aside... fuck yeah. because perfect victory, right. the strongest guys don’t settle for anything less. so I guess Deku has pretty exacting standards himself

also can you all just take a look at this fucking kid who’s got so much light in his eyes now that I’m gonna need eclipse goggles. hot damn. “you’re welcome” says All Might Shirt Guy as he is frantically interviewed by several local news networks asking him how he daringly managed to save Deku all by himself. “well I guess I’ve just never been the kind of guy who can sit back and let a bunch of rabble-rousers blame a little kid for all of humanity’s problems. someone had to step in and take action, you know?”

oH MY GOD THE SCENE IS FINALLY ENDING

don’t let the door hit you on your way out All Might Shirt Guy

but meanwhile, sudden Tododrama action??

oh shit

there are honestly so many ways in which Ochako’s very moving speech could have wildly backfired that I genuinely have no clue where this is headed lol. how exciting!!

so now Horikoshi is once again stalling for time with random filler panels, but this one is 10x better than the shoes lol omg

(1) was Ectoplasm’s jacket always this oversized. (2) did you guys know that if you go back to chapter 319 you can see that Horikoshi gave us a sneak peak at Enji’s Sad Detective disguise and I in fact made a joke about it in the 319 recap not realizing it was actually the stone cold truth. (3) did Shouto deliberately speed up out of impatience because Hawks was walking so fucking slow and he couldn’t take it any longer. (4) and what, I ask you, is up with these dramatic speedlines. so many mysteries here. what a masterpiece

everyone is acting all shocked about something ahh what’s going on

wait what

what the heck. did they just loop around behind everyone. what was the point of that lol. “anyway, so this is what they look like from the back” well okay, thanks for that Ectoplasm

(ETA: so it seems like they were actually hanging out someplace else away from the crowd this whole time, I guess? here I thought they had more faith in Enji’s disguise. I guess Shouto and Hawks don’t particularly want to attract this crowd’s attention themselves right now either, though.)

I am so fucking confused lmao

speaking of All Might WHERE THE FUCK IS HE lol. but yes, good, OFA brings everyone together, and Hawks is very deeply moved about this out of the blue all of a sudden. you know how it is

aw heck yeah now this is another filler panel I can get behind

Mineta really wants that hug, good lord. I genuinely love this actually. Mineta if you could just stay little and cute and keep crying about how much you love your classmates in a non-gross way for the rest of the series I would be so appreciative. you’re doing great

IIDA IS HOLDING DEKU’S HAND THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ONE TIME WASN’T ENOUGH FOR MY MAN HE’S ADDICTED NOW

what did I tell you. Kiri wants to get all of the mob’s autographs now. Kiri you’re a peach

Shouji having a conversation with another mutant type is a very nice touch! we really need to get to his backstory soon. I feel like that casual remark from GFL earlier was kind of hinting at more to come

is this the first time we’ve ever seen the Yaoyorictionary in action?? never forget that Viz tried to call it the “Yaoyorozu Reference Book” because they hate fun

last but not least, KAMIBAKU IS BACK ON THE MENU, FUCK YEAH. Kaminari trying to spice things up and introduce a little bit of controversy by smacking Kacchan on the back of the head for god knows what. I will be deeply disappointed after this if I can’t find at least one person unironically declaring that KamiBaku is now toxic and abusive

lfkdlWLWK TODODRAMA??

oh my god. Shouto’s face. Enji’s face. the back to “oyaji” again. the blunt, not-taking-no-for-an-answer, “I don’t know how much louder the universe can scream at you that doing things alone is not it, so hopefully you got the point” directness of it. fffdlkslj I’m so ready for this Horikoshi please don’t fuck it up my expectations are so high

HOLY FUCK

I SCROLLED DOWN AND HE WAS ALL “( ❛‿❛)” AND I JUST WASN’T FUCKING EXPECTING THAT OKAY. JESUS CHRIST. GIVE ME A SEC

lol okay moment over and now Enji’s pulling his hat down all dramatically like a world-weary Cowboy

OH MY GOD WERE YOU FACETIMING??

AHHHHHHHHH

(ETA: not to put Iida down or anything, but it’s kind of strange that Aizawa is all “the class rep sure did great” when Ochako is the one that was giving that whole big speech for like twenty minutes just now lol.)

(ETA 2: “thank god Iida stepped in just in the nick of time to keep Mineta from hugging Deku.” sorry Mineta I really do like you lately but it’s still low-hanging fruit lol.)

HE LOOKS SO SAD??! HE LOOKS LIKE HEARTBREAK ITSELF??! I AM BESOUGHT WITH THE URGE TO REACH INTO MY SCREEN AND PULL HIM INTO THE SAFETY OF MY ARMS??? MY GOD, AND I THOUGHT DEKU NEEDED HUGS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH okay I was gonna just hold down the letter H for a full minute and count it out loud but within about ten seconds I realized I needed to chill lol

-- but then again NO, I DON’T NEED TO CHILL, I HAVE ZERO CHILL, ACTUALLY, BECAUSE IT’S AIZAWA WITH A ROBOT LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

COMPLETE WITH ROBOT TOES FOR THAT EXTRA TOUCH OF AUTHENTICITY!! I LIKE HOW HORIKOSHI PUT ALL THIS EXTRA “!!!” EMPHASIS AROUND IT IN CASE WE COULD SOMEHOW POSSIBLY FAIL TO TAKE NOTICE. “REMEMBER, EVERYONE?” SAYS HORIKOSHI HELPFULLY. “REMEMBER THAT TIME AIZAWA CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN LEG?” oh wow now that you mention it we somehow forgot all about that. like who do you take us for

OH NO NOT THE SAD BOYFRIEND ANGST THAT I WAS SECRETLY LOOKING FORWARD TO WITH GLEE

well at least he’s not M.I.A. or back with the villains again like I thought he might be. still, that’s gotta be brutal to know your friend is in there somewhere, but to not be able to reach him again no matter how hard you try. that’s the kind of angst that pays off in final battles just when you most expect it. such is my hope, at any rate

what’s this now??

trying to decide if this is Horikoshi’s way of saying don’t worry about that, or his way of saying definitely worry about that lol

anyway so Aizawa is out here being all irresponsibly handsome once again. when is someone going to do something about him

here for Sexy Robot Leg Eyepatch Aizawa clenching his fists and making speeches about revenge. pretty sure we’re all here for that

WELL, WELL, WELL

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

I’M VERY GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE AND SEEMINGLY WELL, THOUGH!

BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THOUGH, ALL MIGHT

ffff. bracing myself for that cliffhanger next week. you’d better not touch one hair on this man’s head Horikoshi. I’m watching you 

[softscummymammon]

€Male Hashira React to Their MALE S/O Coming Out As Asexual€

••Part 1 ||→ Giyu, Rengoku, Obanai

••Part 2||→Sanemi, Gyomei, Tengen

→+*:;;:*Demon Slayer Headcanon*:;;:*+←

Sorry if it's bad. This is kinda the first time I made something like this. I hope you guys like it. I want to be inclusive, and since I'm trying to find my own identity at the moment, I wanted to make a little something. I hope I portrayed asexuality correctly. If I made any mistakes, please let me know and I'll fix it accordingly.

←Tomioka Giyu→

This poor boy was so confused. Please give him a chance to take in what you confessed. His silence isn't rejection, it's comprehension. Please give him a few minutes, then he'll ask what it means.

Yes, you're gonna have to explain what being asexual means.

He'll look at you for a second then mutter, "I see. " Nothing else. But to be honest, Giyu would point at himself and ask, "Does that make me asexual, too then? "

God this confused bean. You'd have to ask if he somehow felt similar feelings. He describes how after so many of his loved ones were killed, he'd never really thought about sex. It was just a waste of time to him, an unnecessary need that would get in his way of protecting people.

Please be nice to this man. He is just now putting a word to an emotion he's been battling with for almost his whole life. He'd ask if he's ever made you uncomfortable, and if he needs to change anything. Reassure him that if anything is too far for you, you'll let him know. With this new revelation about himself, he's unexpectedly more calm about giving soft touches.

He's less uncomfortable when you scoot up to his side in the middle of the night when he doesn't have a mission to carry out. A candle lit for warmth and light as you and Tomioka hold each other with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. He wouldn't ask for anything more, but he can be selfish and wish for the moment to last eternity.

He'd bop anyone that would get too close or is making you uncomfortable. When on missions together in the city or populated areas, you two attract unnecessary and sometimes -mostly- unwanted attention. He's not against getting in between you and someone else and not so gently pushing them away.

All in all, you're both very comfortable around each other. Giyu isn't afraid he'll go too far in trying to make you feel sexually happy, and cuddles are exactly what both of you need after a long day of fighting.

←Rengoku Kyojuro→

The perfect time to do this is when he's partially distracted. You want his attention, but you don't want all of it at once. So, the best time to do it is during a meal, specifically dinner, so he has time to process this and get back to you.

But really, any time would be particularly nerve wracking. It's still the early stages of your relationship, as you didn't want to feel like you were leading him on and you didn't want to live to expectations you couldn't reach.

When you tell him, he'll pause. If the situation wasn't so tense, you'd probably laugh since he had a piece of meat hanging out his mouth. He'd finish his mouthful and home. He's swore to have heard that term before.

Rengoku would as you to elaborate, just so he isn't mistaking anything. You tell him you're asexual and have a lower, or therefore lack of sexual drive and desire. You can still have sex, but it isn't ideal to your comfort.

Kyojuro would hum, then smile and take your hand. He would; so unlike him, gently say that yes, he did once hope for an heir to the name of the fire hashira, he gave that up once he fell in love with you.

He'd be overjoyed that you felt comfortable enough to tell him about this. He knows how tense and worried you must have been. Rengoku felt the same way when he realized he fell in love with a man, you in fact, were that person he saw himself with for the rest of his life. No matter what his father says, he wanted you.

Rengoku makes sure that whenever he touches you, you're comfortable with it. He'll hold your hand, wrap his arm around your torso, and run his nails through your hair. Kisses on the forehead, back of the hand, cheeks, and even on the nose.

When you do it to him, though. Kyojuro's eyes would go wide, then a bright smile would break over his face. He'd laugh and wrap you in a high before picking you up and twirling you around. Late nights wrapped in each other's arms while chuckling about jokes and Rengoku's tales about training with Tanjiro.

Kyojuro's protective nature skyrocketed after your confession. He'd keep you close, and would absolutely be clingy if it drove the people who were making you uncomfortable go away. Rubbing his cheek against your's, and proudly showing anyone your intertwined hands with a beaming smile.

←Iguro Obanai→

Kaburamaru, his snake friend, senses something is wrong before you confess to him. You smell like stress and anxiety. Iguro would get worried you wanted to break up, so he'd get ready for you to come to him to tell him you were done. But when you didn't bring anything like that up during dinner, he asked you straight up if you wanted to break up while getting ready to sleep.

Awkward silence follows for a long stretch of time. You ask him if that's what he wanted, but he accused you of being the one that wanted to break up.

Getting a little angry now, you ask him why he would come to that conclusion. Obanai explains that Kaburamaru senses your stress and anxiety through the day, and how you seemed to he avoiding him the entire day. So, how could he not come to that conclusion.

You have to sigh heavily and thoroughly explain that you had no intention of breaking up with him. You know how he is, and you were willing to love him no matter what. You just hoped that he'd love you after everything too.

He'd ask you what you ment by that, of course he'd love you, you're one of the few that actually will. You have to tell him that you were planning on confessing you were asexual in the morning, since you had to build up the confidence.

He'd pause, then asks you what you mean by that. You playfully ask him what he thinks it means, but he grumbles and crosses his arms. You explain what you feel, or lack of feeling. You have little to no desire for sexual activity in general, and no, it's not because of him.

Oddly enough, well not really, he takes a little bit to think it over and then expresses that he'd support you in anything. You sagged in relief and watched as he walked up to you and set a careful hand on your arm. You smile and set your hand over his. He'd sigh and flop into your chest, humming when your arms wrap around his waist.

He'd demand cuddles for worrying him so much and you'd gladly hold him close. In comfortable silence, he'd ask if he ever did anything that made you uncomfortable, and of course you'd say no. Actually, you wanted him to touch you a little more then he has. You know that he's hesitant about his appearance and used to people shutting him out, but you want to embrace him and hold him.

Tearing up, Iguro nods and snuggles into you more. Kaburamaru curls up around your shoulders and flicks their tongue to your cheek. You lean forward and kiss Obanai's forehead. Chuckling when you hear him grumble.

Since that night, he's more willing to give you touch. He's still hesitant here and there, and rarely ever touches you in public, but it's more than before. He's so protective, this short king will glare at anyone who's eyeing you. He never forgets that times you'd stand up to people who make fun of his appearance or stature. He's off to the side cheering his bf on while they punch a dude in the nose.

You get in trouble, no doubt, but his love for you gets even more solidified. At home, he'd be a little brat and demand cuddles or hugs. If he's feeling particularly selfish, which he's getting more comfortable feeling around you, he'd ask for kisses too. He isn't at the stage of taking off his mouth cover yet, but head kisses and cheek kisses do just as well.

»»————>➹♡➷<————««

[struggling-with-time]

How the lack of a nickname can become something more [Corpse x reader]

Paring: Corpse husband x Gender Neutral!reader

Summary: “Hi! Sorry if this is weird, it’s my first time making a request but could you maybe write something for Corpse Husband where the reader is a streamer that’s very friendly and always calls her friends/people she’s playing with these cute nicknames (like babe, sweetie, hun...). But she has a crush on Corpse, so she never uses any of the nicknames on him and everyone thinks it’s because she doesn’t like him, so she has to explain to her stream?” requested by @voidcaine

Warnings: fluff, sorta angst

Words: 1.9k words

A/N: I had a good idea where this was supposed to go, then it went the complete other direction. Also does anyone want to read my original stuff?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

“Hey guys!” You join the discord call with the group of people to start a game of Raft. Tonight, it’s going to be you, Rae, Sykkuno, Toast and Corpse. You all greet each other and exchange pleasantries.

“Hey Y/N, how was your time off?” Toast is the first to ask about your 2 weeks off from streaming.

“Thank you hun, it was pretty nice. I got a lot of things done, and I can soon tell the date of my next project.” You tease your audience.

The rest have already played the Raft before, leading to them giving you a chaotic introduction to the game. Leaving you more confused about what you are supposed to do than before.

“Rae babe, am I supposed to know what’s going on?” You don’t have to wait long, as Rae immediately responds.

“No. Not at all.” Resulting in a laugh from everyone.

You join into the game, and slowly start figure the controls out. Mostly you are just following Sykkuno around and trying to do the same things as him, yet somehow you do it worse.

Sykkuno ends up falling off the raft and gets killed by a shark before long.

“Sykkuno nooo! Not my sweetheart this world is too cruel!” You act dramatic, before he respawns.

“Does this mean I’m a ghost now? Because I will haunt you for pushing me off.” Sykkuno pokes right back at you.

You share another laugh before getting back to trying to make the Raft as big and confusing as ever. Some more time goes by as you head onto your 4th island this stream.

“Hey Corpse, can you get an axe from the Raft when you get onto the island? I forgot to bring one.” You don’t think much of not giving him a nickname like everyone has one. Well you do, more so you can’t bring yourself to give him one, because you are currently harboring a crush for him. Which means calling him an affectionate nickname, feels like lying to yourself about a future that will never happen.

This goes on for the rest of the stream, nobody mentions it, but in the goodbye section of the stream, everyone is on edge but you. The rest convinced that you have something against Corpse, including Corpse. Especially Corpse.

You stay in voice chat so the 5 of you can bid goodbye without your individual audiences listening in.

“Hey thanks for today, it was a good stream!” You cheerfully tell the others.

“Y/N, what was that?” Rae is the first to ask, bringing the issue the rest has had on their minds since the beginning of the stream.

“What was what?”

“What was not giving Corpse a nickname? You give everyone a nickname. If you look on twitter, there are already people asking if you don’t like him.”

“Rae, I can talk for myself, you don’t have to give me a nickname Y/N.” Corpse adds onto the conversation, now that you think about it, the upbeat mood of the stream has started to falter out towards the end of the stream.

“I’m so sorry Corpse! It wasn’t meant like that not at all! I don’t hate you!” You are quick to respond. If you could see Rae right now, you would be able to see her face, realizing what was going on.

“You know what, how about we leave the two of you to talk it out? Yeah? Yeah.” She quickly kicks Toast and Sykkuno from the call and then leaves herself. Before any of you get a chance to say goodbye.

“So… We are alone now…” You try to break the silence.

Corpse doesn’t respond, he can feel himself starting to go through the worst-case scenarios. That you hate him, and don’t want to be friends anymore. He thought the two of you had become close.

“Corpse I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t start to doubt yourself. I didn’t mean to make you feel like this, I’m so sorry. I’ll release a statement or something. I can fix this. I promise.” You have already thrown yourself straight into panic mode, especially after what Rae said about people thinking you hate Corpse.

Corpse can’t help sigh of relief when you start apologizing, “Y/N it’s alright, but why don’t I have a nickname?” Corpse is unsure if this is alright to ask, he wants to know, the two of you have been friends for close to half a year now, and you usually have a nickname for people with in your first time streaming or playing with them.

“I don’t think that’s something we should talk about over discord.” That was how the conversation dried up, a bit of small talk happened before the two of you bid your goodbyes. Leaving you frustrated over knowing Corpse would only think the worst.

The air between you two had thickened after that day, and everyone you ended up streaming with could feel it, while the two of you could hide it from your fans, your friends was a whole other thing. They had caught on to the two of you not being on the best speaking terms.

You wanted to explain yourself but felt that it was better to do face to face. He wanted to tell you he missed talking like the two of you used to do.

Then a chance finally came, Rae was hosting a party, and you were invited. Your first reaction to hearing it was asking if Corpse was coming too. Rae had told you he said yes, so you booked a ticket to the big city from your small town in Colorado. You would be able to stay at the collab house with Rae.

You were excited to meet the others again, you had only been able to meet up with Rae twice before. So, this was a good chance for you to talk to the others some more, and not to mention come clean to Corpse.

You settled down in Rae’s room quickly, and greeted everyone as you walked around the house, waiting for more guest to arrive. You kept looking for Corpse. Making you not the greatest conversational partner as you barely listened, only agreeing, and disagreeing on the right times.

You notice his mop of black curls quickly when he comes into the living room. You immediately leave the conversation you were barely listening to, you try to wave him down, but he doesn’t seem to have noticed you.

You head his way instead; he’s currently talking a bit to Rae probably thanking her for inviting him. You stand a bit to the side not saying anything just waiting for your turn, as to not interrupt their conversation. Rae points to you, and wave you down. You try to act surprised, not just having stood there like a stalker and watched their entire conversation.

“Hey,” you smile at him, and he returns it.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Rae walks away, totally not having planned this so the two of you could meet. Rae had after the awkward conversation gotten the real reason out of you why you didn’t want to give Corpse a nickname. While she had enjoyed teasing you about your crush, she had never spoken a word to anyone else about it.

“So… we finally meet.” You try to break the ice.

“We do, do you want to go outside?”

“Oh, thank god, yes.” You follow after him, not noticing Rae pointing the two of you leaving to go outside to Sykkuno that she might have told your secret to by accident.

You find a bench and settle down, the weather being pretty decent, no wind to be felt.

“You said, you wanted to talk about what has been bothering you face to face?” Corpse gets straight to the thing that’s on both of your minds.

“Yeah, I’m sorry about it, I really am, I’m sorry, I know I’ve been cryptic and-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, we’re friends. Don’t apologize for existing.” Corpse reassures you.

“Yeah, sorry about that… I don’t know how to tell you this, and I really don’t want to ruin our friendship and I mean that. And I realized I had caught feelings for you, it wasn’t on purpose I swear.”

“Why would-”

“Please let me finish before you ask anything.” You look at him pleading. He nods to let you continue. “I didn’t want to give you a nickname, and I know that’s my entire brand at this point… I just couldn’t get myself to call you something affectionate and keep it platonic in my mind. Because I wanted more, I still do. I don’t want to just be your friend, and I don’t want to ruin what we have, because you are a good friend, one of my best.” You rub your hands over your face.

You can feel the awkwardness radiating off Corpse.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.” You get off the bench and prepare to walk away when Corpse grabs around your wrist.

“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize for existing.” You can’t help but laugh a dry laugh, you can feel the tears ready themselves as you wait for the inevitable rejection.

“Corpse, don’t drag this out. I like you okay, and I don’t want to be more hurt over it.” You try to tug your hand to yourself.

“What if I like you too?” He might not have been as in tune with his feelings as you had. However, he had come to realize he had feelings for you. They had crept up on him in the form of suddenly missing you whenever you hung up after talking. They had come at him slow and over a long time, while your feeling had washed over you as a tsunami coursing through your heart.

“Corpse, it’s okay, just let me down gently.” You take you free hand to dry the tears that are now seemingly escaping.

“No Y/N, what if I like you too. Because I do. I like to hear your laugh, I like when we talk so far into the night I can hear your roommates alarm go off. I like when you say my name, even if I was you would give me a nickname.” He can’t help but chuckle. “ I like you Y/N.”

Your tears are now streaming out not of sadness but of the pure happy feeling of having your feeling returned from the guy you never thought who would return them.

He pulls you into a hug.

You can’t help but whisper to him.

“I like you Corpse.”

“I like you too Y/N.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

[takaraphoenix]

Ship game!! What about Nico and Will?? It’s pretty popular, but I don’t think I’ve seen you write much of it…

That's an interesting one in that I have vocalized my reasons for disliking it way back when it first became popular but instead of just linking that, it has been years so I think it's time for an updated version.

Firstly: This post is gonna be properly tagged and not crosstagged so if any shipper comes across it and feels the need to bitch about it, just don't; your lack of curating your own tumblr experience is not my problem! ;D

Now, there are three key factors that play into my dislike of this ship: How it was written, what it represents, how the fandom around it acts.

1. It’s rushed and uncomfortable

In BoO, it was incredibly rushed. They had literally five sentences of interactions before they walked into the literal sunset together. Five. It was just entirely born from Riordan's Noah's Ark Complex, where he just can't let people be single. The series was ending and he needed Nico to have an endgame so he rushed into some random romance with zero build-up.

The way their interactions went down was also severely uncomfortable for me. Will was acting so offended by Nico not wanting to go to camp and be friends in an entitled way that he had no right to be, he downright guilt-tripped Nico about how he had wanted to be friends. Nico has been just so severely traumatized at such a young age and his coping mechanism, as unhealthy as it was, was to run away and hide. Will acted like Nico not wanting to form attachments to people who could potentially leave him again was somehow just an Edgy Emo Decision and not a direct reaction to his trauma. His entire approach to Nico was basically all these hippie posts of "Don't have depression!! Just go out into the sun and stop being depressed!", which is already a bad take with non-medical people but he's supposed to be a doctor (and let's not get into the shadiness of him technically being Nico's doctor).

There is also an inherent "I can fix him" angle to this ship and to me, only few ship dynamics are more uncomfortable than that. If you want to fundamentally change a person's behavior and personality, you... don't actually want to be with this person.

Now, here's where my points overlap, because the following parts of their writing that bothers me also stand for what this ship fundamentally represents.

2. Solangelo is a queer ship written by and for straights

I'm a queer woman and as a queer woman, I want queer wish-fulfillment, not what straights want out of queerness. I'm kind of tired of that, I've been sitting through it for enough decades now. That's, of course, not to say that no straight writer can give proper queer representation, but far too often do straight writers - even the most well-meaning ones - project straight desires of queerness into their queer representation.

Let me explain that closer through this ship.

Nico's been in love with Percy for years and I'm going to do my best to not hijack this post with some Percico agenda; that's not what this his about, this isn't some "my ship is better than your ship" ship-war nonsense. It's simply a canonical fact that Nico has had romantic feelings for another character for years.

A character who, in this medium, is heterosexual. And if you're queer, you've been there. In love with your straight best friend. It's a cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason.

We have also all been well-meaningly rejected by said straight friend.

And here's the straight desires for you: The queer person who was in love with a straight person just immediately stops having those feelings and will then as quickly as possible fall in love with the next queer person they meet to be happy and no longer uncomfortably in love with a straight person, because that thought makes the straights uncomfortable.

Queer wish-fulfillment would be for Percy to return those feelings, for the queer character to get his first love, to not be rejected. That thing queer teens always dreamed about for themselves.

Aside from the wish-fulfillment angle, the pacing is another problem. Let me repeat, Nico was in love for years. But a five sentence conversation with Will once causes a crush on Will and we see him physically turn away from Percy and toward Will just immediately to rebound and actually fall out of love with Percy and in love with Will. Anyone who's ever been unlucky in love will attest to just how unrealistic and ridiculous the pacing here is.

It's also straight queerness in another respect; Nico has been the first ever queer character we meet in that world. He loves a straight guy - and to get over that, we introduce the second queer character. Because heaven forbid there are multiple queers to pick from. No, in straight-written queer romances, there is always that one main queer and then they introduce a second one and the two just immediately hit it off and develop a romance like all a queer person needs to form attraction to someone is the confirmation that the other person shares your sexuality.

Also the notable gay guy on gay guy ship here, whereas the more queer-wish-fulfillment option would have also included more nuance to the queer experience, because Percy doesn't have to be heterosexual just because he has only been with girls so far. It's a very old-fashioned - think 90s and early 2000s - kind of straight-written queerness that there are only exactly two homosexuals and that those two homosexuals then pair up.

And, listen, I'm not immune to these outdated straight-written queers entirely, I have many such ships that I grew up with that I am still fond of because they were groundbreaking at that time and they weren't outdated yet back when they happened in said 90s and early 2000s. I am however a grown woman now and just like I have grown, so has queer rep so I am not as easily baited into falling onto my knees in gratitude for canon rep. You have to go with the times. And this ship, by all that is given to us, is just entirely outdated straight-written rep.

Which, I mention earlier that even straight-written rep can be good. If the author tries. Riordan doesn't really try though; he does the bare minimum when he writes any of his rep - and there have been many, many more qualified voices being very vocal about his depiction of people of color and, as a woman, I've been vocal about his depiction of women. I don't want to derail this post with all of that, but I do think that it bears mentioning that Riordan doing rep but only doing a bare minimum and not putting in the necessary work to deepen the representation he wants to give is a repeating pattern that has been pointed out many times by now.

(I’d also like to point out that no, it is not just the ship and not just the listed instances that make it straight-written rep for straights. It’s Nico’s entire queer arc, starting with his forced coming out. A severely traumatizing event that is completely brushed over because the straight author doesn’t understand the impact this has on queer people. Not to mention the framework; Nico’s coming out isn’t Nico’s story, it happens in Jason’s POV, it is given to us through the POV of the straight bystander who gets to be Best Ally by assuring Nico that being gay is okay. This kind of coming out is not a queer wish-fulfillment, it’s a straight wish-fulfillment of getting to be the straight savior, the ally to show the gay the light of acceptance. And, additional to the ridiculous pacing of how fast Nico gets over his love for Percy, Nico also gets over years of internalized homophobia just because of, I don’t know, Jason’s few encouraging words and the fact that Will paid attention to him? For a gay kid who was in the closet all his life, the nonchalant way in which he publicly confessed his crush to Percy at the end made absolutely no sense and was written as basically a joke, finished off with Nico literally high-fiving Percy’s girlfriend despite those two never having seen eye to eye before but this is straight wish-fulfillment so all straights are Super Allies, because that’s the way straights want to see themselves, even though Annabeth has shown before just how jealous she can be and she most definitely wouldn’t go around high-fiving people who confess to her boyfriend. Nothing about Nico’s queer arc in HoO felt natural or queer or satisfying.)

Sure, Solangelo on a surface level is big because it's a canon queer couple in a YA book-series and kudos for that and yay for the kids who get to grow up seeing queers in YA books, but I actually do think that kids growing up with books written in the 2010s shouldn't grow up with 1990s levels of representation, because the 2010s overall are actually at a far more nuanced and better level of representation when it comes to queerness. And I do reserve the right to quit on too straight-written and too outdated queer rep in a landscape where I can get more satisfying representation elsewhere; we don’t live in times anymore where you necessarily have to love every bit of rep because it’s the only one you get.

Now that we've gone through my first two gripes, let's wrap this up with the final point, because it also directly ties into this.

3. The new wave of antis hiding behind this ship

A huge part of the fandom is so busy kissing Riordan's ass solely for giving them queer rep at all they think that both the author and the ship are beyond flawless and that kind of attitude is not good. Just because an author includes rep doesn't make either perfect. Absolutely no one is beyond critique - especially not when said critique comes from the very people the author is representing. And even beyond any "valid" critique on the ship, quite frankly, someone should also be allowed to just not like it, without any reasons given at all.

But there is a certain... protective obsessiveness about this ship that doesn't allow a not liking. Very similar to how PJO bore this mindset around Perc/abeth already. It's okay to have OTPs, even OTPs that you have a blindspot for and just don't want to see any flaws in. It is however not okay to then go around attacking people who don't like the thing and mind their own business.

Solangelo's bred a new generation of antis in this fandom. And, particularly with the fact that this post too receives an "anti" tag, I feel like there needs to be a clarification (because tumblr likes to forget what actually makes an anti). Not liking something doesn't make you an anti, venting in properly tagged posts doesn't either; it's the people who harass others, who seek out the content they dislike to then complain that it even exists and who actively try to make others stop creating for it - those are antis.

And with Solangelo's popularity, there was a high rise in Percico antis, who sought it out, were unnecessarily nasty about it, harrassed creators and tried to enforce some kind of "Solangelo supremacy" that won't allow other ships for the characters.

I've been in fandom long enough to be perfectly aware that not all Solangelo shippers count into this category and that there are completely normal and nice Solangelo shippers, but this is a Venn diagram where the overlap between Solangelo shippers and antis is too large to not widely associate the nasty people with the ship itself. (I've been there myself, shipping the very ship behind which a fandom's antis all hid. The second-hand embarrassment of having these people give the ship a bad name is horrendous and I do feel bad for all the normal Solangelo shippers.)

The more often I encountered these people, who made Percico bad (sometimes in wildly ridiculous manners that bent and deliberately misinterpreted canon) and who in the same breath praised Solangelo high, the more tired I grew of that ship. It's a simple game of association, really. You see that linked to the gross and nasty behavior and you start associating the ship itself with that gross and nasty behavior - and with all the things I said before that already weighed into my dislike of the ship, this just was the final tipping point, really.

And that's it. That sums up why I dislike Solangelo. It was hastily rushed, uncomfortable in its execution, it is outdated rep that very much feels as straight-written as it factually is and it does not feel aimed at me as a queer person but rather at the straight audience and it has gathered a cult following of quite uncomfortable people who on their own would be reason enough to avoid it so you can avoid them.

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable. ( Jungkook x Oc) Chapter 3

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ]

[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five.  Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]

Chapter 1   Chapter 2 

Chapter 3

“So, you guys looked pretty cozy in the garden.” Somi pursed her lips, disapproval evident on her sharp features as she watched me hop around, trying to pull the pantyhose up over the fleshiest part of my thigh. It was just a little past six thirty  and I already wanted the night to end. 

“He was telling me how he wanted me to have babies so his son could play with them.” I snapped. 

Somi blinked. 

“And uh..is he providing the baby batter?” She said drily and I laughed.

“I think..... he’s attracted to me.” I said dreamily, remembering the way he’d definitely gotten hard at breakfast this morning. 

“I mean, he’s a straight guy with eyes? Not surprising....” My sister grinned. 

“No, I mean... like actually physically attracted. I felt it too. it made me want to do something unholy with him.” I muttered, eyes misting over at the idea of being spread out on his bed. Satin sheets underneath my body, the weight of his body on mine. 

“He’s a vampire. Pretty sure anything you do with him is unholy.” She winked. I sighed, running a hand over my face. 

“Are you sure this is the way to go? “ I glanced at the robin blue off shoulder gown. I was wary of drawing attention to my neck, especially with a Kim. 

“It’s beautiful. Besides, it is your color. I want to see the look on Jungkook’s face when he sees you. Want to see him regret all his life choices.”

“i thought you didn’t approve of him.” i said amused. 

“I didn’t at first. But then you told me he rejected you and well, no one does that to my baby sister,” She glared and I hugged her close, placing a kiss on her forehead. 

I hesitated.

“Would it be too terrible if I tried to seduce him?” I bit my lips.

Somi’s eyes widened. 

“Sera...”

“Just hear me out.” I said urgently. 

She sighed. 

“Somi, I’ve never been with a man. I just... I can’t get married as a virgin ..I absolutely refuse to. And I sure as hell don’t want to give it up to one of these pompous little brats who act like utter douchebags.  So what am I supposed to do? Now, Jungkook ..” I paused, taking a deep breath to steady my pulse which raced every time I thought about him,. “ ...he’s...he’s so gentle. And nice and I just... I think he’ll make it good for me.”

I felt my face flame, half certain there was steam coming out of my ears. 

Somi looked slightly slack jawed. 

“Oh..um.. okay.” She laughed nervously. “ And how are you goig to get him to agree to this?” 

“Beg? ....  I don’t know...” I groaned. “ What do you think?”

Somi hesitated. 

“I think, for now you should concentrate on showing him that you’re not a child. So , do well tonight. At the dinner. Be polite courteous ... make good conversation... he’s going to be nearby right? Let him see you as an equal... I think he needs to trust that you guys are on equal footing before he will consider anything more ....”

I stared at her, my mind racing.

“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” I kissed her again.  “i love you. Now get my make up on.”  I said excitedly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For all that I wanted Jungkook to be slack jawed when he saw me, it was my own jaw that came unhinged when I opened the door to the hallway at exactly 7.00 PM

I stared, my eyes literally popping out of their sockets when i took in the absolute fucking  vision  he looked like. 

Tight, fitted leather pants that molded to his legs , putting those deliciously muscled thighs on display, so tight on his crotch that my mouth watered . A dark belt, cinched tight around his ridiculously slim waist and he’d paired it with a  blue silk shirt , that flowed around his torso like water. A thin black and blue striped tie hung around his neck, knotted loose and the end brushing past his waistline and a small silver earring dangled from his earlobes, catching the light of the lamp in the hallway. 

My throat went dry as I stared at him. 

And then i squinted. 

Oh God, was that a   nipple?

Nope. Not doing this today . 

 “Please excuse me!” I said hoarsely, voice cracking and face flushing red as I turned right back around , wrenched the huge oak door open and all but flew into the safety of my room before  slamming the door shut in his face. 

I sank to the floor in a heap, pressing a palm to my heart, trying to calm my pulse which had shot up so much. Somi stared at me from where she was putting away her cosmetics, eyebrows raised in surprise,. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked worried. 

“I think I just came untouched.” I whispered, staring at her with wide eyes.

Her eyes widened and her lips twisted in disgust.

“Oh my god, you horny little pervert!!! Get up from the floor, you’re wrinkling the dress!!”

I breathed rapidly, trying to get my brain to function but the sight of Jeon Jungkook’s nipples covered only by a thin silk shirt was burned into my mind. 

i had never wanted to lick something so bad. 

The knock on the door made me jump.

“Sera? Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice called from the corridor and I whimpered. 

“I can’t do this... Please... i can’t.... don’t make me..” I begged. 

My sister gave me a glare and stalked over grabbing my arm and dragging me up with ease. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not like you’ve never seen Jungkook before, how hot could-” She pulled the door open and froze in place, her eyes going wide as saucers, lips parting in surprise as she stared at Jungkook.

“ Fuck me ..” She whispered softly, clearly having lost all her senses at the sight of him. I elbowed her hard, trying not to burst into tears.  .

Jungkook frowned.

“Excuse me?” 

“Nothing!! Nothing...she’s just excited that I’m finally dating again!!” I laughed cheerfully. 

Jungkook glanced between the pair of us, a small frown on his face but he didn’t question me further.

“Should we go?” He prompted and I smiled, wide. 

 Just don’t look at him. Don’t look at him and you’ll be fine.

I kept my gaze straight ahead as we walked down the corridor. 

“You look nice.” He commented casually and I swallowed.

“You look.....” decadent...like the kind of dessert I’d be tasting for hours... please let me lick your nipples...”.different.” I squeezed my eyes, willing myself to calm down but it was impossible. I swelled and ached in all the wrong places and my thighs trembled with the effort not to rub them together. My insides clenched, arousal dampening the bikini briefs I had on and i had to bite my lips to resist the urge to climb him like a tree and grind down on his thighs till I came. 

 fuck. 

“ Your father mentioned that it would be better if i blended in with the other patrons. He thinks it would make your date more comfortable if I didn’t hover around in black like a ghoul. “ He laughed. 

“ Ahahahahah....” i laughed shrilly, barely listening to a word he said because I was having a mental breakdown. 

I glanced to the front of his chest again, a quick sharp glance and yup.....those were certainly a pair of nipples, the nub hard and obvious through the silk of his shirt. 

Jungkook left to get the car and i stood at the entrance to the mansion, shivering lightly. The small fur throw i had on my shoulder was more for decoration than to keep warm and the night was chilly. 

By the time Jungkook brought the black Bugatti around, I was shaking. 

“Ooh... That’s a fancy car.” I commented , heart racing with how handsome he looked, gripping the steering wheel and he smiled. 

“It’s Namjoon’s . I thought you’d like to arrive in style today.” He grinned. 

I climbed in quickly, eager to get out of the biting wind. The interior was warm and cozy and i moaned, relaxing into the seats. 

“You look really good.” He said again, gaze flitting over me with a little more intent and I blushed. 

“You mentioned.” I whispered. 

“I see you in those godawful t shirts and stained jeans all the time and you’re usually just cleaning  spill ups or washing baby bottles  at the daycare so i keep forgetting .” He shook his head, thoughtfully, fixing the mirrors and glancing back. 

“Forgetting what?” i asked confused. 

“That you are literally the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” 

He said it casually, no fervent ardor behind his words . 

Just a matter of fact observation and somehow, the words felt like liquid heat being poured into me. 

it stuck me then, that I would give my entire life and soul to be on this date with Jungkook. To have dinner with him, to listen to him talk about himself. To tell him everything about myself. To just sit there, staring into his gorgeous face. Hold his hands over the dinner table and gaze into his eyes. 

 I’m so in love with you. 

“You’re not so bad yourself.” I said softly. 

“Yeah? I clean up good, don’t I?” He tilted his head, hair falling into his eye as he winked at me , a small smirk on his cherry red lips. 

I glanced away quickly, because staring at Jungkook was like staring into the fucking sun. 

staring at him made my eyes hurt. 

And it also broke my heart. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, Sera....” Mingyu had a very familiar look on his face. A hungry, lustful , disbelieving look that I was altogether familiar with. 

I managed a weak smile in return, letting him hug me , wincing when he buried his nose into my neck, breathing in my scent like he was starving. And the honest truth was, I didn’t even blame him . Control came with age and Mingyu was way too young to have full control over his instincts. And I knew exactly what my scent did to a vampire’s instincts. 

But still, the grip on my waist was bruising and I was having a hard time breathing. I tried to push him away , a bit but Mingyu merely moaned, nosing in deeper.

“You smell amazing.” He sounded punch drunk . 

Over his shoulders, I caught Jungkook’s gaze as he sat at the table next to us. He was frowning deeply. 

“You okay?” He mouthed and I nodded.  it was way too early to pull the plug on this. We hadn’t even sat down for dinner yet. 

I grabbed the arm around me hard and dug my nails into the skin. That made him recoil, pulling away with a wide eyed look of horror on his face. 

“Oh.,..Oh God... I’m so sorry.. I didn’t mean too... I’m so sorry...” he apologized over and over again but I could see the way his eyes flashed red, every few seconds. His hands trembled and shook like he couldn’t wait to get them on me again and my skin crawled at the very prospect of it. 

The guy had zero control. He couldn’t keep his shit together for a dinner date in public. 

My mind flashed to Jungkook, how he’d barely batted an eyelash even while he was  literally  drinking from me and by contrast Mingyu looked like a snot faced, sniveling brat , desperate to have something he wasn’t entitled too. 

I sighed in defeat, tamping down the urge to cry. 

I hated this. Hated men like Mingyu who couldn’t see past what I was. Who couldn’t think past the idea that they would finally be able to drink from me, if they got me on a date. 

“It’s alright. Should we order?” I said softly, my voice shaking just a little. i jumped when water spilled over my hands, Mingyu having knocked his glass over while reaching for the menu. 

“Oh..Oh no.. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry...” He stood up, trying to grab the glass but the water had already spilled across the table dripping over the edge to my dress.

My brand new, Dior dress. 

I turned, letting my  horrified, miserable eyes flit  to Jungkook.

I blinked, shocked at what I was seeing. 

Jungkook was laughing, hard. 

I fought the urge to grin myself as he grinned, shaking his head in disbelief, fingers pressed against his lips in sheer disbelief. 

Well, I suppose it was a little funny. 

Mingyu was on his feet, bowing over an over again muttering about how beautiful I was and how sorry he was and I decided to put him out of his misery. 

Standing up, I bowed politely and stepped away. 

“Mingyu ssi.... I think we should postpone this to another day.” I said gently.

He glanced at me, his eyes flashing red again and gaze dropping to my neck. Oh, for god’s sake. 

“Can I have a taste though?” He said hopefully, holding a hand out to touch me and I flinched when his fingers closed on my wrist. .He yanked hard and I shrieked when his fangs came out, ready to sink into my skin.  

Jungkook materialized between us like he’d been conjured out of thin air. He grabbed Mingyu’s wrist, squeezing till the younger boy howled in pain and yanked him back so hard I heard something pop in his shoulder. . 

“Hands to yourself, Young Mr. Kim. I believe the lady said she would like to call it a night.” Jungkook growled into his face and Mingyu flushed. 

“Yes..Yes of course.. As you wish, Ms. Hwang. Can I have your number? “ He whispered and oh god, this was just so excruciatingly embarrassing for everyone right now.. 

Jungkook stared down at him like he was an insect he’d accidently stepped on. 

“You have to the count of five to get the fuck out of here kid.” He said drily. 

Mingyu flushed even redder, bowing to me once more before grabbing his jacket and scarpering away. 

I stared after him, completely stunned. 

“Can you believe he’s going to be a lawyer?” I whispered. 

Jungkook’s eyes met mine. 

We both started laughing at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This can’t be real. I refuse to believe, that what I witnessed was real.” Jungkook shook his head in disbelief as we waited for the valet to bring the car around.

I chuckled.

“You know what's actually unbelievable?  But true?” I said softly. 

Jungkook stared at me, eyebrows raised. 

“That is actually,  not  the worst first date I’ve had.” I admitted , grimacing. 

“Oh good god. “ He flinched. 

The valet arrived and I watched Jungkook head over to the driver side, before climbing in myself. I scrubbed the water stains on my dress after putting on the seat belt. Jungkook reached over, fixing something on my side of the dashboard and I held my breath as his shoulders brushed my breasts, the scent of his cologne filling my brain and turning it to mush. 

“so, what happened?” He asked settling back and I blinked. 

“huh?”

“Worst first date?” He prompted , pulling the car out into the driveway. 

“Oh... oh yeah. Freshman year of college. Agreed to date one guy...turned up at a hotel, he had three of his friends over.” I swallowed. “ They nearly killed me.”  

The car nearly veered off the pathway, Jungkook having gripped the steering wheel too hard and jolted it to the side.  

“Sera-  what? The sheer horror in his voice was palpable. 

“ They wanted a taste and I was an idiot back then I said okay just a taste for each of you...they were young...couldn’t control themselves .... so they just get drinking and well, I can usually let someone drink from me for a long time because my blood it sort of regenerates fast enough but...three people at the same time... I almost got exsanguinated.” 

“Jesus fuck.! tell me those bastards are dead...” He snarled. 

“My dad got them de-fanged.” I whispered. Jungkook flinched away as well. Being de-fanged was pretty much a death sentence because you couldn’t feed anymore. 

“Serves them right. Three of them...what the fuck.” Jungkook shook his head, jaw clenched. 

i swallowed.

“It’s kind of why I haven’t been with any Vampires. After that my dad got really protective of me and well, he doesn’t like the idea of me meeting  strangers. I was actually pre med back then. I couldn’t handle it. I quit and well, dad hired tutors for me and I got my degree in Childcare. And that’s okay. I love kids..” I laughed.

“You’re amazing with them. I’ve never seen Joowon this happy.” He said gently. 

“Its why I prefer staying with the clan. Only my family gets to feed from me occasionally because I don’t trust strangers to bite me, because they could lose control.”

The moment I said it, I regretted it. Jungkook’s eyes bore into me and i knew exactly what he was thinking. I didn’t trust people. Didn’t let anyone drink from me. 

And yet, I’d let Jungkook drink from me. He wasn’t family. He wasn’t even a friend. 

But he didn’t bring it up. instead he just sighed. 

“It’s not an excuse, you know. “ Jungkook said softly.

“Hmm?”

“Being young, its no excuse.  I’m not a born vampire which makes my instincts more potent and even dangerous but even in the first few months when I was turned... I never attacked anyone. Self control is a choice. That dude you met today... I doubt he gave a shit about you. Bastard just wanted a taste.... Could fucking see it in his eyes.” Jungkook sounded righteously upset on my behalf. 

“Now you know why I’m attracted to you.” I said softly. 

Jungkook froze. 

“Sera, -”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” I said quickly, hating myself. 

Jungkook didn’t reply. 

Cursing myself for ruining the mood, I cleared my throat.

“I still don’t have to be home for a couple of hours. We could go somewhere else...” I suggested softly.

Jungkook gave me a small smile.

“I’m your bodyguard, Sera. If you choose to go somewhere , I’m kind of obligated to follow you.” He reminded me. 

I flushed.

“Right.....yeah...yeah. of course.” I stumbled over the words, so reminiscent of Mingyu that I felt a little sick. 

“So where to, Ms. Hwang?” He said casually. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“People can’t stop staring at us tonight .” Jungkook grumbled, glaring at a couple who had stopped their bicycles, just to gawk at him.

I laughed, tugging on his sleeve to pull him to a more secluded spot of the river bank, both of us looking distinctly out of place in a crowd of people dressed in comfortable clothes. 

 I hugged myself, watching the waves lap the river bank as I sat on a rickety wooden bench, a few dozen feet away from the water’s edge . The river looked especially picturesque today, reflecting the incandescent lights from Seoul’s skyline. 

“It’s because we’re dressed like we’re presenting at the Oscars.” I grinned at him and Jungkook’s lips quirked in a small smile. He stood by, glancing around at the people watching by, occasionally at the river as well. 

“This is nice. Do you come here often?” He asked , eyes skimming the city’s skyline , as he stuck his hands into his pockets. 

I hummed. 

“Sometimes. With Somi or Jimin. They like those ice lollies you get down the road.”  I smiled. “ I brought the kids here one weekend and they had a lot of fun.” 

Jungkook laughed.

“I bet they did. I should bring Joowon here someday.” He said thoughtfully. 

“ I could pack you guys some lunch.  Make it a picnic. “ I suggested and his gaze shifted to me thoughtful. 

“That won’t be necessary Ms. Hwang. I’m sure one of the cooks will be able to do it.” He said evenly and I tried not to let the words sting. 

“Of course.” I turned back to the river. 

For a few minutes we didn’t say anything. 

“Where were you? Before moving to Seoul?” I asked quietly. 

Jungkook hesitated before moving around to settle next to me on the bench. 

“Busan.” He said , staring out into the distance. “ I worked for a warlock there . For five decades nearly. His daughter was part vampire , part witch and well... I was lonely. “ His face showed a whole lot of regret, “ She had Joowon five years ago and tried to offer him as a blood sacrifice or something when he was born.” He grimaced. 

“She what?” I said stunned. 

He ran a palm over his face

"I didn’t want to do it but I had to kill her. Joowon was three months old and well, I had to quit my job soon after. Moved to one of the smaller villages nearby. Your father paid for my food and lodging. He wanted me to come over to the clan at once but I didn’t want to be a freeloader. When your father suggested you needed protecting, i thought it would be a good way to pay him back for everything.” He sighed. 

“Did you know who I was?” 

He gave me a look.

“Every Vampire with a dick knows who you are.” He said ith a dry smile and I flushed, looking away. 

“Jungkook...”

“The most desirable of humans. The perfect mate. The unsullied jewel of the Hwang clan.” 

He was laughing now, eyes warm and fond in the fading light of dusk and I found myself completely bewitched. 

“Unsullied....” I shook my head. “ I can’t believe people know I’m a virgin.” 

Next to me Jungkook went completely still. 

I turned to him and there was no mistaking the stunned look on his face. 

“What?!” I said feeling like my face was on fire. “ I told you I’ve never been with a Vampire.” 

“I didn’t think you meant... “ He stopped, swallowing. “ Anyways its none of my business. Let’s talk about something else.” 

Something wicked began to stir inside me.

“I’m saving it for the right man.” I said softly. And then I turned to stare right at him, long enough to get the point across. 

He stiffened a bit more.

So i barreled on. 

“These bumbling fools who can’t string two words together in my presence....They don’t deserve someone like me, don’t you think?” I prompted. 

He swallowed again and I felt a sort of vindictive satisfaction. Just knowing that I affected him possibly just as much as he affected me. It soothed my bruised ego a bit, the way he refused to meet my eyes now, making up for his brutal rejection earlier. . 

“I deserve someone amazing, don’t you think Jungkook?” I pressed on and he finally looked at me, eyes blazing. 

“Only the best for you, princess.” He muttered  holding my gaze. and I tried to ignore the way the nickname made warmth bloom all over my skin. 

“Yes. Only the best. I don’t want any of these younglings with their fumbling hands and stammering words. I want a  man. Someone who knows how to put me  in my place.” 

Jungkook gripped the bench hard the old wood splintering under his strength and I bit my lips. 

“Someone who can be gentle, show me what I’ve been missing out on. Show me how good it can be with the right person, who can get me wet and wanting without even touching me...” 

He exhaled sharply at that 

“We should probably get-” he moved to get up but i was quicker. . 

Not so fast, Mr. Jeon. 

I scrambled over to him, climbing his lap and grinding down on him, before he could fully realize what I was doing. The impact took him by surprise and he grunted, settling back on the neck and hands gripping my thigh to stop me from toppling over. 

“Sera-what” he looked furious but i pressed a palm to his mouth. 

“Are you going to pretend you don’t understand what I’m asking for?” I demanded, heart pounding against my ribcage as I looped his tie over the wrist of my other hand, once , twice, giving it a yank so he had to bend over, his lips inches away from mine. 

“And exactly what are you asking for, princess ?” He whispered, his breath warm against my lips.

“A teacher. Someone who can show me the ropes.” 

“Ropes? For your first time....oh baby, you sure?” His eyes danced with mirth. 

Not entirely sure what he was implying, I just stared back at him.

“You can do it. You can be my  first. “ I brushed my lips against his, softly. it was barely a touch, hardly a kiss. 

Jungkook stared at me, his hands lightly squeezing my thighs  for one second, before falling to his sides again. 

“The only first I’m going to be,  is the first man to toss you into a fucking river, if you don’t get off me right now , Princess.” He said casually. 

I stared at him, refusing to budge and he stood up anyway 

i yelped, nearly landing on my butt before i managed to catch my balance. 

He made to walk away but i grabbed his arm, pulling him close. And it was ridiculous, the fact that he came closer, the fact that he let me grab his wrist, bring them up to my waist. 

“Please kiss me.” I begged. 

“You don’t want this.” He said softly, hands rising up to brush the hair off my forehead and I gripped his shoulders levering myself up to press a kiss to his lips.

It was quick, over before it even began. 

“That’s the only kind of kiss I’ve ever had. “ I said desperately “ It was a boy in college. He kissed me like that and then he asked me if he could bite me. I refused and he never talked to me again....”

“Sera...” He looked stricken and miserable and I let my fingers flutter to his collar, gripping it hard and yanking on it, feeling angry and upset and altogether miserable. 

How ridiculous...that men all over the country tripped over themselves to be with me and yet here I was, reduced to a pathetic begging mess just for one measly kiss from this man..... 

 “ I want to be kissed. I don’t know how it feels to be kissed..to be wanted for something other than the blood that flows in my veins.... I just want someone to kiss me because they want to...because I’m beautiful and precious and i deserve to be kissed and -” 

Fingers clamped over my arms, gipping me hard and almost lifting me off the ground as Jungkook pulled me up, my eyes fluttering shut just as his lips closed over mine, soft and tender and warm and wet and so delicious I couldn’t stop the moan that slipped out. 

I let my hands fall to his chest, the soft smooth silk of his shirt felt like heaven underneath my fingers and through the thin fabric i could feel his heart, pounding against his ribcage. I ran my fingers over his torso, the strong muscles flexing beneath my fingers and my fingers crept up to grip his upper arm, the coiled strength in his bicep making my legs quiver. 

He tasted like mint , his tongue licking the seam of my lips and begging entrance and my lips parted in surprise, the sensation so new and electrifying. 

I gasped when I felt his tongue tangling with mine as he pressed in closer. I groaned , almost forgetting to breathe when Jungkook’s  lower lips brushed mine, his teeth tugging the plump flesh of my lips harshly , biting down gently and my lips parted, giving him better access. He was so warm and strong and big and  i couldn’t get enough of him, my body wanting nothing more than to stay pressed against his for the rest of our lives. 

He used slow, subtle strokes of his tongue to taste me, gentle licks that made my head swim and it felt like I was drowning, in the heady taste of him . I felt weak as a kitten, my fingers scrambling up to grip his hair, tangling in the silky black locks, gripping to ground myself and i accidentally yanked a little too hard making him pull back, a little. 

 He laughed gently, right against my lips, the sound sexy and arousing and I groaned, chasing the taste of him and Jungkook obliged, nipping my lips again with his teeth , soft little pin pricks of pain and pleasure,  before laving the abused skin with his tongue. His hand came up to cup my cheek, holding me in place as he kissed me deeper . 

 I could feel myself go weak in the knees, stumbling into him and he wrapped one arm around my waist holding my body up as he nibbled and teased and drove me insane with his touch. 

Jungkook’s hand slipped, from my cheek, down to my neck, his fingers brushing back and forth on my bare shoulder before moving down, lightly gently brushing my breast . 

I melted, gasping as he shaped the swell of my breast with his hand, thumb rubbing gently against the tip till my nipples pebbled up and I felt a sob build up, pulling away from him to catch my breath, gripping him hard and burying my face in his shoulders, overwhelmed and shaking. 

“Darling... you alright?” Jungkook whispered, hands reaching up to stroke the back of my head and i clung to him, wrecked. 

“Please don’t let me go.” I panicked when he made to move away and he froze at once, drawing me closer, hugging me tighter.

“I’m right here princess. You’re going to be okay.” His voice rumbled through my body and I willed myself to stop shaking but i couldn’t. 

“What did you do to me...?” I asked hoarsely, my body thrumming. 

He laughed, voice low and tinkling. 

“I kissed you. You begged me to kiss you and I obliged.” He teased. 

I shook my head against the fabric of his shirt, clutching his waist harder. 

“That was not a kiss.” I snapped. “ That was...That was....attempted murder.”  

 Jungkook laughed harder at that, 

“Take deep breaths, darling. Relax.... You’re going to be okay. Just catch your breath you’ll be fine.” He kissed the top of my head, gentle and fond and I closed my eyes. 

“I need a few more minutes.” I said softly. 

“ I’m right here. “ He whispered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook turned the car off and we both sat in the silence, staring straight ahead into the murky waters of the river. I was still in shock, my brain rendered entirely useless from one single kiss.

 He had kissed me senseless. 

 Literally. 

“I can’t give you what I want.” He said gently. 

I bit my lips.

“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give.” I whispered. 

He made a sound, a sharp little exhale.

“Fuck, Sera...you’re killing me.” He swore. 

I clenched my fists. I was so scared, that this would be yet another rejection and I just knew that I couldn’t live without his kisses. Not now, when I knew just how amazing they were. 

“I’m serious. I... I won’t ask you to court me or do any of that serious stuff. Just.. Just want you to touch me. Keep touching me. And kissing me. ” I finished stupidly. 

Jungkook laughed a little.

“God, you’re so young... I feel like the worst kind of man for wanting this so fucking much.” 

I felt my heart soar at that. it was the first time he’d acknowledged wanting me and i reveled in it. 

“If we’re going to do this, I need you to understand exactly what you’re getting into.” He said softly. 

I felt my heart begin to pound, a steady thrum that was so loud in my ears that I couldn’t fathom how he couldn’t hear it. 

“This is going to be physical. Only physical. I don’t want you to dream of something that isn't going to happen. “ He said sternly. 

I nodded. 

It sounded like a recipe for a disastrous heartbreak but if i could get more kisses like the one I’d just had.... well, maybe I could deal with it when it happened. 

“I’m the one who gets to decide when , where and how.” He turned to look at me and I met his gaze. “ i won’t have you trying to climb me in the mansion in front of everyone.” 

i flushed. 

“Fine. “ I snapped. 

“You don’t stop meeting your potential suitors. You don’t turn them down without cause.” 

I groaned.

“Jungkook...” i began but he held a hand up. 

“Not all of them are going to be incompetents fools, Sera. There’s a guy out there good enough for you. “ He insisted ,  “  I’ll warm your bed till you find him, because you’re beautiful and I’m fucking weak” He shook his head, laughing without mirth, “ but... I won’t have you ruining your chances of making a worthy match. “ 

I nodded. 

“Alright. Anything you say.” 

He gave me another long look before starting the car. 

“Okay. My room, tomorrow. After 11.00PM. Wear something I can take off easily.” He said drily. 

I felt the grin creeping into my face, wide and shameless and he groaned. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Jeon Junkook ssi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A chapter inspired entirely by jeon jungkook’s nipple in that blue shirt. 

[byloodie]

Not a single care in the World | Sebastian x Reader | Stardew Valley

Chapter 1; Part 2; bar

Cleaning off the imaginary dust of yourself, you put your head up and walked straight to them with full confidence.

“Is this seat taken?” you said pointing with your finger at the right side of the couch. 

“Um, I guess no.” The girl said, kinda confused.

You sat near her and smiled. She returned it. You could sense the piercing look on my back given by the blonde boy. Purple haired girl sat straight and introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Abigail, and that boy behind you is Samson.” 

You’ve turned to get a better look at him. He looked a bit irritated, but he was trying to hide it.

“Nice to meet you both.” You said trying not to show that your ego was hurt. “I’m the new farmer, but you’ve probably already guessed that.”

Abigail chuckled at my words. The atmosphere was tight but she was somehow fixing it. 

“So… how old are you guys? Want a drink? I’d be on me!” You said, trying to gain their trust.

“I’m 22 and Samson is 21 so go on.” Abigail cheered with a big smile.

"God, could you cut it out?!" Samson shouted towards Abigail.

"What do you mean?" Abigail rolled her eyes playfully, looking at him with a smirk.

Sensing that you shouldn't be here, you murmured a quick "be right back".

“Fuck, she’s so hot” You thought while going to order three beers.

You went to Gus and asked him for a discount because your wallet wasn’t actually going to handle 3 more drinks. He said that he ain’t giving you a discount, so the drinks are free but you need to pay him as soon as you get the money.

You looked towards your new friends to see if they were still fighting. Luckily they weren't so you went with the drinks to them. Although back then you haven't seen the third person that was with them. 

After trying not to spill the beer out of the glass you got to Samson. Because of no third hand you just stood and waited until he stopped aiming at a billiard ball and got the beer from you. He took it, but didn't drink. It was a pain to think that you’ll need to pay 400 gold to Gus for a beer that no one has drunk.

But then, you saw a slender hand reaching for it from behind me. You got a bit scared, jumped and spilled a little beer on your hand.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ

Hi! So sorry for the late update I totally forgot haha anyway hope you enjoyed this part. Will update in few days!

[fabricated-misslieness]

Hey, can you do a Dazai x Port Mafia Executive Male Reader. Where reader is Dazai former partner before he gets replace by Chuuya and instead of Chuuya coming for Q and fighting Lovecraft its reader instead. Readers ability is like Shigaraki from bnha.

Dazai Osamu x sadistic!male reader

Ngl I was a little confused cause the last time I watched bsd was months ago.

Also made the reader sadistic because yes. i forgot the reason

Part 2

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 3859

Warnings: Mentions of suicide (Dazai stuff ofc), angsty boi

“You want me to pair up with this rookie?” You gesture in the vague direction of Dazai. You know he’s there, but you don’t act like it.

Dazai huffs, offended by your words. He crosses his arms. You weren’t giving him the best impression and if you were going to be partners, he at least had to tolerate you enough to keep his head on his shoulders.

“Now, now,” Mori chides with a sweet tone. You don’t trust the guy, he may act kind, but you’re sure he hides something with that kindness. “He’s already a port mafia executive.” You roll your eyes, he was only one of them because he witnessed the old boss handing down his title ‘willingly’. You seriously doubted he did do it willingly, seeing as it was a mere few minutes before his death. That sort of coincidence belongs to a movie.

“Like I don’t know that.” You shake your head. “Fine, fine, I’ll be his partner. I only want to know what he can do. He has an ability, doesn’t he?”

You finally acknowledge his presence, turning to him and sizing him up. Dazai is flustered by the gesture, but he pretends to act calm and collected, something that works with that young poker face of his.

“Yes--” Mori is interrupted by the executive himself, who is eager to show off.

“Yes, I do.” Dazai replies, uncrossing his arms. “But what’s yours?”

You furrow your eyebrows. Abilities are wide and unique, ranging from psychological to physical to straight magic. Knowing your ability could be a part of his ability. You were to work together so he’d know either way, but at the moment, you wanted to know his weaknesses.

“That’s valuable information.” You crack your knuckles and stretch, pretending to prepare for a fight.

“No fighting in my office.” Mori reminds you. “Or the building, for that matter. One of your abilities is particularly destructive, and we don’t know what you could do. Go to the training area if you’re going to fight.”

You give both of them a smirk, “Who says I was going to fight? I was merely enjoying the look in Dazai’s eye.”

Dazai frowned, quickly fixing his composure. It’s true, he was a little intimidated and he did not mean to let it show.

“You’re quite sadistic, aren’t you?” Mori chuckles, shaking his head.

“That’s one thing right about me, boss.” You smile brightly. Dazai furrows his eyebrows and examines you. That smile of yours is sickeningly sweet, almost mocking. You look like a monster, but maybe that was part of your act. He’d know your ability in no time.

“Well, as partners you do have to know each other’s abilities. I picked Dazai specifically for you.” That gave each of them a hint to each other’s abilities, more to Dazai than anything.

You nod letting out a sigh, “Do you have anything you don’t want, Mori?”

Dazai quirks an eyebrow, interested in the peculiar question. Mori nods, nudging forward a tongue depressor, those big wooden popsicle sticks, one he could very well spare.

You pick up with all but one finger, your middle finger, holding it up for both of them to see. “Do you have anything for the debris?” Mori slides a metal tray towards the edge of the table.

“Pay close attention, Dazai.” You give him a glance before looking back at the stick, putting your final finger on it. It disintegrates in a matter of seconds, turning into pieces so small that they look like ash. “What’s yours?” You turn to him.

Dazai seems to shrink under your gaze, but he keeps a stoic look. “Put your hand on my arm.” You raise an eyebrow. Does he wish to experiment with your ability or is it part of his?

You put your hand on his arm, once again with all but one finger. You don’t trust him, that much is clear.

“Trust me.” The look he gives you is genuine, albeit the smile is devilish, though you oblige all the same.

Your eyebrows furrow when your ability has no effect. The skin doesn’t disintegrate, nor does it fall apart as usual. “That is my ability, No Longer Human.”

“And that is why I paired you two up.”

You huff a little angrily once you realize. His ability stops other abilities, what triggered it you didn’t know, but that wasn’t the most important thing for you. He paired you two up to have him be your control. You don’t need anyone to control you and you don’t want anyone to control you. You want to do you and you do not want this boy to hold you back.

You open your mouth to protest but Mori interrupts you. “This is my decision and mine alone, you cannot say otherwise.” As much as you want to mess up his pretty face, you couldn’t disobey the boss.

“Fine.”

As time grew on, Dazai had become a friend, though sometimes he felt like more than a friend. Despite your early refusal to the idea, you’d really warmed up to each other.

Dazai, the young bastard, was also quite the prick at times. Though you couldn’t really complain about his age since it turns out you’re within the same age range. While he was a prick, he was also caring, as you’d come to learn.

Sometimes he’d hold your forearm when you were touching something, even though over the years you’d built up the habit to not use your middle finger. Every time he did so you would laugh and it would somewhat fluster you, you’d tell him you didn’t need it and without fail he would say “Just in case.” It was nice to know he cared, and the other little gestures he would perform were even nicer.

You were known for being a little sadistic, taking joy from inflicting pain for no reason. When he’d hold you back from attacking some random lackey at the time it would make you angry, but a few minutes later you’d be grateful for it. After all, that lackey wouldn’t be very useful with an injury.

Though sometimes even he couldn’t hold you back. When you’d start a fight with another executive just for your enjoyment, he was quick to be there and keep you in touch. Perhaps you did need control after all.

The other executives were rather thankful for Dazai, as you chose someone to pick on every week. Something you hated about Dazai was that he was immune to your mockery. He got used to it from your partnership and he couldn’t be hurt by your ability. But you supposed it was for the better, the other executives were starting to get really annoyed by you.

Except everything changed when Nakahara came along.

Although your partnership was relatively new, you found comfort in each other’s companies. You protected each other’s weaknesses and complemented each other’s strengths; so when the news came along that Chūya would replace you as Dazai’s partner, both of you were a little ticked off, per say.

Dazai’s first impression on the newer rookie didn’t help their relationship. Chūya annoyed him to the very ends of the Earth and he did not want him to replace you. It wasn’t just Chūya either, he’d grown very fond of you. Sometimes he couldn’t even fight without you; He was used to you being there to back him up, though this detail he would not tell you.

In time, you didn’t look like the monster he’d thought you were in his first impression of you. You actually looked sweet.

Your smile, which for everybody else would be sadistic, turned out to look more endearing to him. Everybody caught onto the fact that the smiles you’d directed at him weren’t the smiles he’d show others. Somehow you hadn’t realized it, but he had.

You’d grown to like him, dare say crush on him, which was something you denied. His triumphant smile after the end of a mission and the jokes he’d make as you fought were always the highlight of your day.

None of you wanted to give up the other.

“This is his decision and his alone, we cannot say otherwise.” You mocked, making Dazai snicker. The fact he used the same words was quite ironic, really. 

Tomorrow marked Chūya and his first mission together, so you’d dedicated this day to each other. Dazai did not look forward to tomorrow, and as much as he wanted to vent to you about Chūya’s very abundant annoying qualities, you’d both promised not to talk about it.

The news of your separation had made both of you realize your growing crushes for each other. You were no longer in denial, though you loathed the idea… but when you really thought about it, you didn’t loathe the idea. Musing to yourself about hugging him, playing with his hair… thinking about the fact that you did in fact like it made you gag.

As the night neared to an end, your guts told you to tell him. You wouldn’t see each other all that often anyway and if you were never to interact much, at least you would be getting this off your chest.

“Dazai.” You both stared out the window of the HQ, prior to you speaking up you were in an awkward silence. None of you wanted to say goodbye.

He turned to you and you to him. As much as you wanted to avoid eye contact, you thought it might help. “I like you… don’t joke with me.”

Dazai was going to make a joke. It was amazing how much you got to know him in so little time. He smiled, and your hopes raised when you took notice of how it wasn’t pitiful. “I like you too.”

You immediately let go of the breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Where’s the big sadistic lion?” Dazai questions, playfully mocking how meek you are right now. His smile seems more joyful than usual, as it should with what just happened.

You snicker, giving him the sadistic smile he’s used to. “I’m right here.”

Dazai was your anchor in the Port Mafia, even when he plead for double suicide with you. Before you were partnered up, you absolutely despised the place. The other executives and the occasional lackeys were fun to provoke but it was almost as if that was your coping mechanism. You often complained about how awful the Mafia was handled with the previous boss, but he would never change anything. He was an idiot up until his very death.

You thought Mori’s recent ‘crowning’ would change your opinion, but it didn’t change it at all. You still hated the place. It was almost as if their only objective was to keep their hands on Yokohama. You wanted more than that, you wanted the whole of Japan to be your turf.

Mori didn’t want that and while he would take the opportunity once presented, he wouldn’t do a thing otherwise. He was perfectly happy with that and you weren’t.

Dazai was the only reason you stayed, but now the reason had been diminishing. You barely spoke and barely hung out. This wasn’t what ‘dating’ was and both of you knew it.

He wanted to try harder and so did you, but with your current situation, you couldn’t. When he wasn’t with Chūya, you were out on a mission. No, you weren’t jealous. This wasn’t Chūya’s fault nor was it something either of you could control. There were various times you debated on breaking up.

Dazai was the only thing holding you back from leaving, so if you broke up you didn’t have to worry about him. But you liked him and both of you would be heartbroken. You never liked thinking about it, but someday, it had to be addressed. That day never came.

The final day you were with the Port Mafia was the day that you had a brush with death.

You’d called for backup, you’d received none. The henchmen you were commanding left like cowards. To think these were the people you’d trained.

One of your big weaknesses was fighting groups of people alone. These henchmen knew that and they’d run. Where were their morals? Where was their faith, their loyalty? Where was their honor, their pride? It was then that you’d learned the Port Mafia wasn’t your place. These people weren’t your people, this turf wasn’t your turf. They were cowards and you were no coward.

Alone and fighting recklessly, you were down. You refused to flee, and that stubbornness was what caused you to nearly die. Luckily, you never crossed death’s doorstep. The people you were fighting presumed you dead the moment you dropped to the ground.

They were fools but a fool you were too to let your emotions get the best of you.

That day somebody had found you on the brisk of death. They claimed to be a spy and they offered to get you help.

Of course, you accept without asking for conditions. You were dying, what else could you have said? The conditions turned out to be joining his organization and feeding them with information or something equally as important.

No longer would you be associated with the Port Mafia. You were glad to leave them. But your only consequence being leaving behind Dazai, the love of your life and the highlight of the day. It was a hard decision to make that was for sure, but it was either this or death.

You felt selfish.

Months after joining them, the so-called ‘Guild’, your heart ached. Leaving Dazai was your biggest mistake but joining the Guild was the best thing that had happened to you since him. For the longest time, you’d wanted to tell him. You never had the guts to. And then you left Japan to join the bigger part of the guild in North America.

In time you’d stopped thinking about Dazai.

The crew was polite, a contrast from the cold lackeys and executives from the Port Mafia. It’s a nice change, one you wish won’t ever change. But maybe the hope of a different life blinds you from how bad these people really are, their underlying motives and morals, their similarities to the Port Mafia executives.

The guild is ambitious, their leader most of all. They have a turf and the turf is way bigger than the Port Mafia’s, something you’re proud about. You certainly feel better about this place than the Port Mafia.

Your sadistic personality never changes either, and while the others are certainly annoyed by it, they handle it in a different way. They make sure you know that you can’t hurt them severely, or there’ll be repercussions. Maybe not repercussions from the Guild’s rules, but them hurting you back. It’s a nice change, one that gets your adrenaline pumping every time you pick a fight.

The only time you did think of him was in your nightmares, the middle of the night. Those nightmares consisted of him calling you a traitor, betrayer, but that wasn’t what hurt you. They played out scenarios of you telling Dazai.

He’d kiss you, hold you tight, ask you where you’d been, question the new stitches and scars… and then you’d tell him.

His face would be ridden with denial. “No. No you couldn’t have! You’re joking, you’re lying!” He laughs, tries to believe it’s a joke, but he can’t get it out of his head that it isn’t.

“It’s not.”

It’s then that he lets out a sob. He trembles, pushes you away from him, looks you in the eye with a look full of betrayal. It’s then that he calls you names, which stated before aren’t what hurts you. It’s how he looks and what he says next that hurts the most, “I thought you loved me.”

That’s when the nightmare ends. You wake up with tears of your own, they’re hot and sting on your cheeks. You furiously wipe them away, but more keep coming.

You sob loudly, which wakes up John and Lucy. They’re the only ones you’ve trusted with your secret, Dazai. They comfort you the best they can but the most they can do is tell you it’s going to be okay or something along those lines. As much as you try to believe them, you can’t.

Dazai becomes a mere figure of your past. You think of him as unreachable, unattainable, as something you should scold yourself for thinking about.

If you could’ve taken him with you, you would’ve.

Learning that you will go back to Japan because of the leader’s obsession with a ‘tiger’ almost breaks you like your ability would.

You hadn’t thought about Dazai nightmares in the past year, but now you remember him again. You begin to regret leaving him, your heart aches again and your nightmares act up again. Everything gets worse when you arrive in Japan.

War breaks out between 3 organizations but the only thing you can think of is the Port Mafia. It’d been 6 years. Could he still remember you?

You don’t care who wins, you just want this whole thing to be over with. It upsets your ‘teammates’, but you don’t care. Once again, you think about leaving the organization, maybe live a normal life. That sort of life feels far-fetched right now and you know it’s something you’ll never have the chance to achieve. But still, you hope for it.

But then you see him again.

The second your eyes land on him you want to run. His eyes land on you and they must look the same as yours.

It hurts, but you have to persevere. “Hey, Lovecraft?” You glance at the man with the strange ability and appearance. “You want to go sleep, right?” You let out a mocking yawn of your own, giving the two in front of you your signature sickly smile.

“Yes.” Lovecraft replies, voice monotone and deep as always.

“Go get John and leave, get to sleep faster.” You nod in the direction you’d seen Chūya knock John towards. Your eyes stayed on the two in front of you. They both act as if they’d never seen you before, which you’re glad for. You don’t know if you could’ve handled seeing the same look Dazai would give you in your nightmares.

“But Francis and... you.” You’d like to think you’d gotten close to Lovecraft, but really he treated everybody the same because of his ‘contract’ with Francis.

“I’ll be fine. I know these guys’ weaknesses, anyway.” He doesn’t question how you do nor does he protest further and leaves immediately. “Quite the reunion, huh?”

“(y/n)..” Chūya growls. He glares at you, something you’d never seen 6 years ago as his senior executive. He never dared to interact with you. He knew he’d be replacing you as Dazai’s partner and knew about your relationship together. If anything, it was out of pity, and that you hated.

“Chūya.” You reply. “How’s the family, the mafia, the kids?” You mock. Chūya all but seethes, he looks like he’s ready to strike.

“(y/n),” Once Lovecraft is gone, Dazai gives you the look you dreaded to see. “H-How--” He doesn’t know what to say and neither do you. Your smile fades, turns into a frown. You don’t want to fight him but you also don’t want him to take on Lovecraft. As much as you liked the guy, he was a nightmare incarnate.

“Dazai.” Is all that you say. The vague response hurts you both.

“Chūya you might want to do that here.”

Chūya looks back at Dazai, shocked and taken aback. “You want me to do that? Dazai, I don’t think that’s needed and you know how shit that makes me feel.” It’s clear he doesn’t want to give into his corruption.

“You shouldn’t underestimate him.” Dazai speaks with experience, and it hurts you to know that he knows that.

“Don’t hurt him too much, we’re dating.”

“You’re still dating?!”

“Technically we never broke up!”

You laugh, staring at the limp body next to you. Chūya is deep asleep, or knocked out, you don’t know. You never really saw the aftermath of his corruption.

“That was a nice fight.” You remark, loud enough for Dazai to hear despite how weak you feel. Chūya had basically broken both your legs and injured you, but at least he hadn’t killed you or put you into a coma. The pain was unbearable for most people, but it was a simple background thought for you.

“It’s been…” Dazai starts.

“6 years.” You finish for him.

“I missed you.” You’re glad to hear that instead of the words from your nightmares, but you’re sure those words will eventually come.

“I did too.”

“You did?”

You sigh, nodding. “There were plenty of errands I had to run around and do for Francis. That rich old guy didn’t do anything himself. I didn’t think much of you, but I never forgot you. I had my own fair share of nightmares about you, they’re all the same.”

Dazai moves you to lean against the bark of a tree. You look into each other’s eyes, and you can tell that his are pleading. “Please stay.”

You ignore his remark, weakly reaching over to feel his coat. “New coat?”

“Yes.” Dazai grumbles, sitting down next to you cross legged. “Answer me.” He pleads again.

“You don’t want to know why I left, first?” Dazai shakes his head, taking your hand in his and squeezing it, prompting a pained groan from you. He quickly apologizes for it.

“I don’t know if I can.” You sigh, rubbing the back of his hand. You were quite touch starved, seeing as you couldn't really hold or touch anything properly. “If Francis wins I’d have to stay with him. If either of you win, I’ll most likely end up in prison.”

“Join me.”

You think back to the Guild. They were inviting and you thought them to be good, but just then did you think about how bad they really were. You’d known all along but you always refused to believe it. You wanted to be there just to escape the Mafia, you never wanted to be there because it was the guild.

“What was it… the Armed Detective Agency?” He nods. “How would that stop me from going to prison?”

“I don’t know.” Dazai admits with a huff. “Just.. please stay.”

“Okay.” You smile at him. Dazai remembers that smile, it’s burned into his memory and he takes note of how it hasn’t changed a bit. He’s missed it ever since you left. “Would they accept me, though?”

“They will, they will.” He says it as if he were determined, but he knows there’s a high chance they’ll refuse.

Dazai pulls you into a much deserved kiss. Long, gentle, sweet, and full of fireworks, it’s almost like your first. The only thing is it’s a little weak on your end, but he can’t blame you.

“Not going to mention sucide?”

“I haven’t seen you in 6 years, at least let me cherish this for another 2 months.”

[anonymousfiction211]

You always have a choice: 2

Summary: You and Loki went to his hiding place, after being locked up in prison on Asgard together. You still don’t quite trust the God and things get out of hand.  Word Count: 2.857 words Warnings: Bit of angst, smut A/N: There are a few more chapters coming. I will post them every thursday. This is an alternate timeline. Loki has encountered Asgard and helped Thor fighting the Dark elves. After that he took over Asgard, was caught and thrown in jail. Hope you like it <3 Click here to read chapter 1

The morning light shone trough the window and awoke you. Your hands roamed the space next to you. Your eyes snapped open when you didn’t feel anyone next to you. You sat up straight and scanned the cottage. You didn’t see anyone. You slowly got out of bed and stalked around. Loki was nowhere to be seen. Panic was starting to rise. You were stupid to believe that you could trust the God of Lies. He was gone, with the Tesseract, probably to save his himself. And you, you would die a painful dead, alone. Worse, he had used you. He could have taken off the moment you arrived here, but no. He probably just wanted to fuck you, which explains his way of fucking you. And you foolishly believed that he actually cared for you.

At this point you starting to search around the cottage for your clothes. You needed to move and fast. You dressed yourself and went to the kitchen. It wouldn’t hurt to grab some knives you could use as a weapon. The front door opened behind you, you turned around with two knives in your hand. Ready to attack, whomever had entered. You were surprised to see Loki standing there, eying you. ‘What are you doing, darling?’ he asked you. ‘Where were you?’ you screamed at him. You were still standing in your fight stance, adrenaline rushing through you. You were expecting him to make the first move. He just holds up a bag and looked a bit hurt at you. ‘Getting something for us to eat’ he said to you.

It took a few seconds for you to calm yourself. You lowered your knives to your sides, but still feeling bit on edge, you hold onto them. Loki closed the door behind you and walked towards the table, he was standing on the opposite side of it. With a loud thump he threw the bag of food on the table. You noticed his breathing was faster than it was a moment ago. His hurt expression has made way for an angry one. Without saying a word, he held out his hand and the Tesseract appeared. He put it on the table and slide it over to you. When you caught it a lump in your throat began to form. Tears were pricking behind your eyes, but now was not the time to display any sign of weakness. ‘Just take it and go’ he said. His voice was monotone, and his face didn’t show any emotion. You looked at the cube in front of you and back to Loki. Even tough he didn’t show it, you felt like you had hurt him.

That’s when you realized, you needed him, but he didn’t need you. He would be perfectly capable of living his live, whilst avoiding Thanos at the same time. After all, he apparently was doing that for a very long time. In this situation you were dependent on him and he could easily betray you. He could have betrayed you from the moment you were in Odin’s vault together, he could have run of with the Tesseract by himself. Or worse, deliver you to Thanos himself, he could easily spin it like that was his plan all along and get back in good graces with Thanos. ‘I thought..’ you started but couldn’t finish the sentence. The way he looked at you, you knew he already knew the end of that sentence. ‘I know we were in each other’s way a lot and didn’t treat each other like we should have. But for you to think I would actually do that. If you really believe that, take it and go’ he said. ‘And if I were you I should hurry. It will only take a few minutes before the signal of that stone will emit and after that a few seconds for them to be here’ he took a long pause. ‘If you don’t and you stay, I already told you. I need you to trust me’ he said.

You slid the cube back to Loki. After all, what choice did you have? You put the knives down on the table. Loki made the cube vanish like he did yesterday. He walked towards one of the chairs, grabbed a book and started to flip through it. ‘Loki?’ you said, hoping that you could somehow apologize for hurting him. But Loki didn’t respond and kept his attention fixed on his book. You walked towards the bag and saw that it contained some food, which you had never seen before. You took out something that looked like bread and pulled off a piece. You sat down at the kitchen table and nibbled at the bread. It tasted nothing like on Asgard, but it wasn’t half bad. You didn’t eat all of it, the suspense in the room made you lose your appetite. You put the rest of the food away in the cabinets. When you turned your back you felt Loki’s eyes on your back, but when you turned around his eyes were glued to his book. When you were done you decided to give it one more try ‘Loki?’ you asked again. He still didn’t answer you. You sighed ‘I’m going for a walk’ you told him.

You walked towards the door and turned the handle. When you pulled the door towards you, it didn’t open. You started to wiggle the knob and pull harder, but the door still didn’t budge. When you turned and looked at Loki you saw he had a small smile on his face. ‘You’re not going anywhere’ he told you, still not looking at you. ‘Seriously? you asked, stunned by this sudden move. He wasn’t even trying to hide his amusement at your reaction. ‘Just trust me, darling’ he purred. ‘Loki, don’t be an ass. Just let me leave’ you were starting to get aggravated.

‘Oh, I’m being an ass? How would you call your behaviour?’ he countered.

‘Given my situation, completely rational’ you answered.

‘Concluding that I abandoned you when you woke up and arming yourself is rational?’ he had lowered his book and he locked his gaze in with yours.

‘Given who you are, I think that it is’ the moment the words left your lips you knew you regret them. But you had already said them, no turning back now. You flinched when Loki got up from his seat and strutted a few steps in your direction. It made you take a few steps back, until you felt the table behind you. There was only a meter of space between you and Loki, but you could feel the anger radiate of him.

‘That’s how it is? After everything I’ve done fore you? You knew that I didn’t have to help you. In fact, my life would be a lot simpler right now if I didn’t help you’ he yelled at you.

‘Then why are you helping me? I don’t understand’ you yelled back at him. There was a silence for a minute. You two were still in some sort of staring match and you refused to be the one who would lose. ‘How could you not understand after last night?’ he asked you. He was still angry, but his voice was much softer now. ‘What? Because you told me you never let me go? Guys say anything when they just hade some’ it felt like an outer body experience. You literally saw yourself fighting with Loki like you were a third person in the room. And when you heard yourself, even you didn’t understand yourself. No wonder you were alone, you had no friends, always bouncing from place to place, the only ever solid relationship you had was an enemy. And that was Loki. He closed the distance between you. His hand went to your cheek and you flinched, expecting a hard blow. The blow never came, instead you felt the back of his index finger stroking your cheek. ‘I thought last night meant something. Apparently I was wrong’ he pulled his hand away from you and his soft voice was replaced with one of spite.

He took a stab back. ‘Loki, I didn’t mean…’ you started. Trying to explain your behaviour, even if you didn’t quite know where that explanation was going. ‘I help you, I protect you, I keep you safe and I’ve shared my bed with you. In return you think the worst of me, don’t trust me, and use me to escape your fate’ he said. There was no emotion in his voice, and that was worse than the anger and spite. ‘We have history, how do you expect me to forget that?’ you said. ‘I don’t, but even if I trapped you, or left you, it was only in situations which I knew you would be able to handle on your own’  

He walked towards the door and opened it. ‘Trusting someone is a choice. I’m the God of Lies, so people don’t choose to trust me. Even after I had my brother’s back a hundredth times, even if he was the one who was acting stupid and irrational. People lie, a lot. But somehow, I’m the one who always lies’ he took another step, he was standing outside with the doorknob still in his hand. ‘Where you’re going?’ you asked him, still thinking about what he had told you. ‘I’m going for a walk. You can stay or go as you please’ he said. Then he took a deep breath ‘But right now, I trust you to be here when I get back’ and with that he closed the door and left.

And for the first time in your life, you felt utterly alone. You were always alone, you barely remembered your life when your parents were alive, or you had friends. How it all went wrong, you couldn’t quit tell either. But being on your own was something you were good at, you always had your own back. There were flashes of your time in Thanos his clutches. The way he explained his plan, and how he treated you. It made sense to be on his side and you were hoping to find a family there. What you found was madness, chaos, and destruction. But by that time, it was too late, you were in too deep. You felt your tears starting to stream down your cheek. The only thing you wanted right now was for Loki to hold you, but he wasn’t there. You were alone, because you pushed him away.

You quickly brushed the tears from you face and walked towards the chair Loki was sitting in earlier. It still smelled like him. The book he was flipping through was laying there. You picked it up and it wasn’t noticed it wasn’t a normal book. It was a notebook, and you instantly recognized his handwriting. Maybe it was invading his privacy, but you couldn’t contain your curiosity. On every page there was a different scenario on how he could escape Thanos. He had written them down and later commented on his own ideas. Some he thought to be useful and some he found later to be downright stupid. Halfway through the page you came across a page where the title was underlined multiple times. Even tough he couldn’t see Thor breaking him out of jail and requesting his help to fight the dark elves coming, he had planned to fake his death a long time. He was just waiting for the right opportunity. And Loki was cunning when he saw his chance he took it.

When you turned the next page, you saw that his change had changed. He had written down everything you told him when the two of you were briefly locked up together. After a few pages you saw different plans. Plans about escaping Thanos, but ending up together. You looked at the date and saw it was dated only a few days after the two of you were thrown in a cell together. Next to his plans there were again, little comments he left for himself. You saw a debate with himself about including you, whenever you did something to annoy him he would write it down as a reason to leave or betray you. But he had scratched all those thoughts and written down reasons to help you underneath them. You couldn’t help but laugh a little at Loki’s constant bickering with himself. When you turned to the last written page you were absolutely stunned. The last page didn’t say much, it wasn’t about a plan he had come up with. It just said:

Last night was amazing. But you need to come up with a better plan, quick. Let’s face it, life without her in it isn’t worth living. And maybe get her a few books so she stops stealing yours.

After reading that you put the notebook aside. You scanned his bookcase and started to read one of the stories. Trying to distract yourself from all the thoughts and emotions, you didn’t want to deal with right now. When you were hungry you ate some of the food. You noticed it was getting darker outside and wondered when of if Loki would come back. You stopped that thought and realized it wasn’t a question of if Loki would come back, but when Loki would come back. Because you decided he would come back. He had to.

You jolted awake when the door opened hard. You realized that you had been sleeping on top of the bed, waiting for Loki to come back. Loki walked in and slammed the door shut behind him. You noticed rain was pouring down and Loki was drenched. Water was dripping from his hair and his clothes on the hardwood floor. You were wondering why he hadn’t just teleported back. The two of you looked at each other. His emerald eyes seemed to glow in the dark. He walked towards the bed while stripping off his clothes. The only thing he was wearing when he crawled onto the bed were his damp boxers. He crawled on top of you, and you let him. His body felt cold from the rain against your own. He kissed you fiercely and you eagerly returned the kiss. His hand was under your shirt and fondling your breasts. When he heard you moan you felt him smile.

You took of your top, giving Loki better access to your breasts. He took advantage of that by trailing his kisses down your neck to your nipples. The way his warm tong swirled around your nipples made them hard. After he was done with one he moved to the other. His hand was at the hem of your shorts and underwear and in one smooth motion he pulled the down. You were laying before him, you returned the favour by undoing his underwear. He looked at you and you swore you saw him looking sad. He sighed and didn’t move. You hesitated a bit, but decided to take matters in your own hands. You pulled him in by his neck for a deep kiss. Your heart fluttered when he returned the kiss. He was surprised and you took that to your advantage to flip the two of you around. Loki was laying on his bed, letting out a soft groan. You were straddling his lap and felt our heated core against his erect cock.

At this moment you didn’t needed foreplay. You were already wet and ready for him. He moans loudly when you took his cock and slowly pushed it inside of you. You didn’t give him any time to overthink this and slowly started to ride him. Loki grabbed your hips and after a while starting to move with you. You were riding him at a slow pace which was adding to the intimacy. When you started to moan Loki tried to speed you up by taking control of your hips. You grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands down on either side of his head. You were pinning him down whilst riding him. ‘(Y/N), I can’t hold off for long’ he whimpered beneath you. You felt all his muscles flex underneath you and knew he was trying to hold of until you were there with him. 

You broke your kissing on his lips and necks and sat up straight. You guided one of his hands to your clit and he started to stroke small circles on it. When you were panting you felt Loki’s cock inside of you twitch and his seed spill. It triggered your own orgasm. Loki moaned your name shamelessly when he felt your wall clench around his sensitive cock. After your high ebbed away you pulled off him and laid you head on his chest. Your arms were around him. You felt a touch of his magic cleaning the both of you up and suddenly the two you were beneath the blankets. ‘I’m glad you stayed’ he whispered to you. ‘I’m glad you came back’ you whispered back before you fell asleep safely in his arms.