#I’ll probably update this later idk

[shaped-creatures]

Hello and welcome, this blog is mostly for posting my strange AU’s and scenarios along with miscellaneous doodles thrown in the mix.

The little freaks broke into my house beat me up and gave me a hyperfixation then left, can’t have shit in Scotland.

My other blogs for your amusement.

My Main.

@fusions-hardboiled-brainrot

General art.

@fusions-hardboiled-artshack

And a Hardboiled Heavies exclusive blog. (my other hyperfixation)

@a-hardboiled-heavy-a-day

I’m also on artfight, so attack me if you want. :)

[seventh-district]

oh my god i can’t decide what to do with my time today

[wutheringmights]

.

[coffeeflavored-tears]

ooooo gas smell

[gayabeilles]

trying to make a roux with gluten free flour and I got scared when I saw black flecks bc I thought I’d burned it but no.

worse.

I melted the goddamn whisk.

[hyuckswoman]

“as i said before, i’m going to send an email later on in the day with the groups. before anyone asks yes i assigned them but you can switch if you want to. this class is made of pairs so as long as you’re in a pair i don’t care who you’re with. just make sure to update me with the new list” your professor says as you pack your things to leave

“do you hope we’ll be together? cause i hope we will it would be super funny” you hear jisung say right behind you. this man will not leave you alone it seems “oh you’re still ignoring me? you’re lucky i’ve got things to do cause i would’ve followed you for your whole trip back home” he says getting ready to leave you alone

“that’s called stalking weirdo” you hear a voice say. you turn around just to see mark. not very surprising as you were supposed to meet with him to hangout “she likes it, don’t worry” jisung replies before leaving “man this guy’s so weird” you hear your friend whisper (more to himself than you) “you don’t say”

“hallelujah i am NOT with jisung in my group this is bliss. i want to thank the lord, my family and friends for getting me here. i am so proud to be here today besides you. this moment is so much bigger than me.” nothing could begin to describe the amount of joy you felt when you opened your email and saw that your name was nowhere near jisung’s. even mark was tense, he had his fingers and toes crossed for you. when you saw that your partner was this really nice (you assumed, you barely have any friends so you didn’t talk to her)

“do you feel relieved?” mark asked finally letting his fingers and toes un cross “fuck yea i do, i literally can avoid jisung for the rest of this semester this is what i dreamt of my whole life dude” you take your phone to text your partner seeing that she had already texted you. “no fucking way” was all you could utter

10. no fucking way

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notes: i moved to seoul lmao and it’s just so fucking weird?? like i arrived yesterday at like 10 am and i lowkey (highkey) want to go back home. idk i just know that i’ll have a hard time here and knowing that the next time i see my family is in months makes me sad lmao. plus it’s hard bc everyone is like omg you must be so excited n stuff and im like noooo i want to go back homeeeeee. plus i have to take classes that are harder so even academically wise im gonna struggle. but anyway im done complaining! i know this is someone’s dream probably so i should be more grateful but it’s a bit hard rn ngl lmao

taglist: @kgyam4 @sunghoonsgfreal @injunnie-lemon @nctrawberries @222low @multifandomania @joyzluvr @starwonb1n @222brainrot @sinsgaybutthatsokay @defzcl @lostinneocity @junviadinho @mrshwang-park @skepvids @wonbin-truther @jkslvsnella @jising-jisang-jisung @nanaxwi @polarisjisung @amrqxz @jirsungs @haechansbbg @dalsosapple @pookime @pinklemonade34 @lotties-readings @roseangelxfuma @jiiieun @inosfavgf @mystverse @alethea-moon @apple9i3 @nosungluv @dinonuguaegi @addyanm @kenmaswoman @okkkcausewhet @starfilledgaze

[milkpup]

｡⋆ʚ♡ like father, like son

›› chapter 2 ›› nsfw 18+ ongoing multi-chapter fic!

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ʚ ao3 ɞ / ʚ kofi ɞ / ʚ fic masterlist ɞ

›› toji fushiguro x reader ›› megumi fushiguro x reader ›› toji x reader x megumi (mfm) ›› 18+ f!reader ›› started: 12/6/23 : updated: 1/29/24 : status: ongoing

‹𝟹 summary: You and Megumi are best friends. You've known eachother for almost your whole life. His home has become your second home. As time passes and life happens, Megumi slowly develops feelings for you, even though he's unaware of it. To complicate things further, you're now living with him and his father, who has also taken a liking to you.

‹𝟹 fandom: jjk, jujutsu kaisen

‹𝟹 genres / warnings: au - no powers, college au, power imbalance, pseudo-incest (they both want y/n, nothing w/ eachother), dubious consent

‹𝟹 tags: good cop bad cop, fluff, smut, angst, toji has a big dick, dilf toji, toji is his own warning, toji tries to be a good parent, toji is an asshole, toji is trying okay?, daddy dom toji, daddy kink, porn with feelings, porn with plot, friends to lovers, spit / spitting, spit kink, spit as lube, breeding, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, double vaginal pen, double pen, anal, making out, making love, love triangles, praise kink, degradation, light masochism, light sadism, emotional sex, cuckolding, jealousy, jealousy kink, smoking, smoking kink, emotional manipulation, manipulation, polyamory?, father and son share you, protective megumi fushiguro, megumi needs a hug, megumi has a big dick, aged up characters, dead dove: do not eat, finger sucking, large cock, cum swallowing, blow jobs, first time blow jobs, under desk blow jobs, fingerfucking, face sitting, face riding, 69, mutual masturbation, threesome mfm, lots of smut, loss of virginity

‹𝟹 notes: formatting next chapter for tumblr! there are currently 4 posted on ao3. i have the 5th in the works! it gets spicy!

!! - again, PLEASE READ TAGS BEFORE CONTINUING - !!

! - ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+ - !

Chapter 2: Intimacy and Exposure

--

By mid afternoon, you and Megumi are both exhausted with your full course load. You both major in biology, no emphasis right now. Megumi loves animals, so he will probably pursue something veterinary later. As for you, you’re undecided. You chose biology because it’s very general and broad, and also so you could be with Megumi more. You would never tell him that, though. You just say “idk maybe some science-y crap” and shrug it off.

You weren’t able to get lunch, so you both decide to visit a coffee shop after your last class of the day. A snack and some caffeine would help get you through for a while until you decide what you want to eat that night.

Megumi orders his usual black cold brew and muffin. The barista asks how to spell his name, and giggles? Is she flirting with him?

“That’s a cute name…” She says as she writes it down on his cup. “And for you…?” She barely glances at you.

You’re not sure how you feel in that moment. Was she flirting with Gumi? Am I jealous? Why is my heart racing?

“Oh I’ll just get an iced black tea and a banana bread please.” You try to not show your emotions while speaking. You’re not sure why you feel this way though.

You hope and pray to whoever is out there, any deity listening, that Megumi would not see you blushing and jealous.

You think you’re in the clear, he didn’t notice. He drives you home and you scroll your phone, acting like everything is normal. In reality, you’re shaking.

--

Sitting around the table, you both have your laptops and books out in front of you. It’s been a couple hours of studying, and you’re ready to take a break.

“Gumi, can we take a break and watch something? If I read the word bacteria one more time I’m going to go insane.” You tell him more than ask, already getting up out of your seat. You’re yawning, walking straight towards your bedroom, not even bothering to wait up for him. You already know he will follow.

Your room is hyperfeminine, plushies everywhere, cute shit everywhere. But you also have a mix of other stuff, like your consoles and gaming setup (that Megumi helped you get), a bass guitar that you’ve barely touched, piles of books you haven’t sorted yet.

You turn the tv on, hopping onto your bed. Megumi follows and lies next to you. You’re already aware of his presence and he isn’t even touching you.

“What do you wanna watch, Gumi?” You ask as you scroll through different apps.

“Whatever you want, you have better taste in movies and shows.” He doesn’t really care, he just savors the opportunity to be close to you. He lies behind you, almost touching but not quite. He’s close enough to feel the tickle of your hair. He feels weird thinking that your hair smells nice.

You choose some random comedy show, not caring to pay any attention. You just wanted a chance to rest and turn your brain off for a while.

Megumi moves a little close, resting his hand on the side of your abdomen. This isn’t the first time you’ve been close to Megumi, you both used to cuddle under the same blanket on cold nights or huddle under one when playing games as kids. But for some reason, now it feels different. Maybe it’s because you’re hyperaware? It has to be that, right?

Your heart beats faster, your skin feeling warm to the touch with every movement he makes. Does he notice? Is he aware of these things too? Am I overthinking things?

An hour passes by, but it feels like an eternity. You’re so hyperaware that every second feels like 20 minutes have passed. He hasn’t done more than gently caress the side of your body. He doesn’t seem to be making any advances. So why is this so painful to endure? Why does a simple touch make your body feel hot, with something pooling in between your legs?

Megumi is aware. You think he isn’t, but he can tell. Your breathing is irregular, your pulse is uneven, your skin is hot. He notices, and it drives him insane. But he’s respectful, he wouldn’t try anything. You are basically siblings with how long you’ve known eachother and lived together.

It’s getting hard to breathe. Even the lightest touch sends jolts through your body. You turn around to meet his gaze, with a look he’s never seen before. Your face is red, you’re struggling to breathe, while looking into his eyes like you know his secret. He’s flushing too, starting to sweat, feeling heat spread through his body. Your eyes are intoxicating to Megumi.

He looks at your eyes, then your panting lips, and back to your eyes again. He’s thinking of everything he wants to do to you, he doesn’t care if it’s wrong.

He touches your cheek, caressing you gently. Your breath hitches as he’s so close to you. He runs his fingers down your neck, before he pushes you to your back. It’s not forceful by any means, but mostly surprising.

He’s on top of you, pinning your arms to your pink bedsheets as he leans down towards you.

“Y/N…” he breathlessly speaks, “tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

You definitely do not want it to stop. You’re staring up at him with your doe eyes, unable to control your breathing. He leans in closer, his face not even an inch away from yours.

His lips crash into yours. You’re surprised, you didn’t think he would be so intense, and this good at kissing. He’s biting your lip, trying to elicit little yelps and mewls from you. He’s kissing you so roughly, forcing his tongue inside your mouth. Megumi is still on top of you, pressing his body against yours.

You can feel his heartbeat, his hot skin, his bulge against your body. You don’t know why, but you lift your hips and legs up a bit to angle yourself better against his body. Feeling him so close, pressing into you was making you feel almost drunk.

He releases one of his hands from pinning yours so he can caress your cheek a bit more. His hand travels down your neck again, moving towards your chest, before eventually resting at the bottom hem of your shirt.

He’s giving you sloppy kisses, before he momentarily stops to ask you a question. “Y/N, can I?” he asks while gentle tugging on your shirt.

You giggle. He’s too damn cute. You nod your head yes and he releases your other hand.

You pull your shirt above your head, leaving your bralette on.

He looks down at your flushed frame, no longer hidden behind some random band t-shirt. The moment you take your shirt off, he’s harder than ever before. You feel him poking into you a bit.

He kisses you with more passion this time, grinding his bulge into your clothed cunt. He’s grunting and making little moans in between kisses.

He lifts his head a bit to look at you and moves his hand over your bralette. He admires the intricate lace detail, thinking it suits you perfectly. He licks his lips. You know he wants to desperately feel what’s under, but you decide to tease him a bit.

You wrap your legs around his waist, forcing your bodies to be even closer. He grunts a bit, looking at you. You smirk and pull his head back down to make out with you.

You’re grinding against him with fervor, unrelenting and unforgiving. The feeling of him rubbing against you is oh so good, and extremely hot.

He moves his hand towards the waistband of your shorts. “May I, Y/N?” You think it’s sweet that he asked. You decide to reward him a bit.

You roll him over and push him against the mattress. You quickly get up and pull your shorts off, leaving your panties on. You take your bralette off. He’s watching you like a starved dog, savoring every second of this.

You pull his sweatpants off, leaving only his boxers on. He’s looking at you, with wide eyes, excited and surprised.

You straddle his waist, sitting on top of him. You grind against him, eliciting sounds of pleasure from his lips. You lean towards him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, before leaving a trail down his neck. You suck on his skin, giving him small and faint lovebites. He looks so cute.

You have a suddenly devious idea. “Megumi, can I try something?”

He instantly nods yes; he wants you to do anything and everything with him.

“Lay down then, please. I want to try something I saw online once….” You say as you move towards his head. You’re hovering above him now. He’s directly at eyelevel with your clothed pussy, and he feels his boxers get tighter the closer you get.

“Let me know if you need me to stop, please <3.” You hum as you pull your panties aside and lower yourself onto his face.

He can feel your drenched cunt against his mouth and instinctually starts getting at it. Licking and sucking like it was his last supper. Megumi couldn’t really breathe, but he didn’t care. He could die right now and have no regrets. He would die a happy man.

You moan as he’s sucking and flicking between your folds. The noises you make drive him even more insane, he thinks he could cum right then with how much of a turn on it is.

You lift yourself up, giving him a moment to catch his breath as you look down at him. He’s staring up at you with the eyes of an animal.

You sit back down, and he continues once more. Sucking on your clit, savoring the taste of your essence, and basically fucking the air. He’s straining against his boxers now, desperate for any touch or release.

You have another idea. You lift yourself back up and turn around, your cunt still in front of his face. You lean down towards his straining cock. You push your cunt back down on his face, and like a good boy, he continues again.

“Fuck Megumi…” You whimper out as you push against his tongue. You move your hand over his boxers, palming his cock. You notice he’s quite big and you’re a little scared.

You release his cock from his underwear and it springs up. Megumi grunts under your touch. You stroke his cock a bit, slowly. That’s not your objective however.

You lift up once more as you move to spit on top of his cock. Megumi moans again, feeling the sensation of your spit covering the head of his cock.

You sloppily kiss the tip, earning a moan and a few curses from Megumi. “Fuck… Y/N.”

You move forward to suck the tip, before letting it come out with an audible pop sound. “You have hands too, Megumi…”

Your pussy is still in front of him, and he gently moves his hand to brush over your clit, circling it. You moan as you take him back into your mouth again. You’re desperately hoping this feels good, it’s your first time doing any of it.

Megumi pushes his index finger in, noticing how wet and tight your cunt already is. He’s salivating at the thought of when he can fuck your tight hole, but he’s content with just learning your body for now. Everytime he pumps his finger in and out, he hears your sweet, angelic voice.

The way you respond to his touch is music to your ears. Your mewls and whimpers drive him crazy enough already.

You take his cock back in your mouth, trying to push more in as he fucks you with his finger. He adds another of his slender fingers inside, feeling how he’s stretching you already. You moan around his cock, and this turns Megumi on more.

He moves to push you against the bed again, pushing your body down gently. He never breaks contact with your cunt, as he starts to fingerfuck you even harder. He’s watching you squirm and moan under his touch, and he can’t get enough of it.

“Megumi… Aah!!” His touch is relentless. He wants to hear every sound you can possibly make. He finger fucks you harder, feelings your walls clamp around his fingers. He uses his other hand to rub circles around your clit. You’re nearing your climax, and he’s eager to see all of it.

You’re drunk in the pleasure that is Megumi’s skilled fingers. He brings you to the edge, watching as pleasure washes over your entire body. He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean, wanting to savor your juices all while never breaking eye contact with you.

Your chest is heaving, but you want to make this man feel good too. You roll over and crawl across the bed towards him. He sits atop the bed once more, spreading his legs open and smirking.

The way you’re crawling towards him is incredibly hot. He knows what you’re about to do.

You make your way to his cock, spitting on it once more and stroking it a bit. You know you can’t fit all of this beast, but you want to try your hardest.

You look up at him as you take his cock into your mouth. You make it about halfway before you feel at your limit.

“Y/N, you’re taking me so well. You’re such a good girl,” he praises you as you drool over his cock. He gently grabs your hair, not tugging but mostly just applying pressure.

Your pussy drips again at the praise as you continue to go up and down. You’re finding a rhythm to breathe and still go at a decent pace. Using your hands also helps, and whenever you fondle his balls, Megumi’s eyes roll back into his head a bit.

“Y/N.. I’m close..” He says as he bucks his hips against your mouth. “Please.. don’t stop..”

You suck harder and moan against his cock. You don’t particularly like the idea of cum in your mouth, but for Megumi, you would do it.

He covers the back of your throat with his cum, and groans as you empty his balls like an expert. “Y/N… fuck…”

You pull back up, trying to not show how displeased you are with the taste of cum.

“That was… fuck…” He lets out an exhausted sigh. “Fucking… amazing…”

You’re laying down together again, not even caring to get dressed again. The studying can wait for later, for now you want to relish this moment.

You’re not sure what this means between you two, but you’re still happy that it happened. You yawn as he snuggles around you as the big spoon, surrounding by the same fuzzy blanket and cute plushies.

He thinks it’s so cute how tired you get after that. He lays there as you fall asleep before him, memorizing and tracing every detail of your body.

Toji comes home not long after Megumi finally passes out. He doesn’t see food on the table, and goes to check your room. He sees you and Megumi, asleep under your fuzzy pink comforter.

--

‹𝟹 notes: i will have the next chapter posted here asap :D feedback is always appreciated! ao3 has all the chapters so far!

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‹𝟹 notifs: @vvxxccaa @arylaa @starshipxoxo

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(･ω･)つ divider creds to @/cafekitsune and @/eloquentreverie

[endemise]

long ramble, progress update, & potential release timeframe below:

hii! i got a lot of coding done and i think im finally satisfied with how the game looks (for now…)

here are some screenshots of what some of it will look like on mobile!

the friendship and romance levels shown in the relationship menu are just random as is the blurb for Aesop’s thoughts, they’re just for the example! (also characters thoughts are hidden by default, you click to reveal, then hide, them)

the stat bars were giving me hell but i finally figured them out with the the help of some forums and tumblr posts

i liked how in when twilight strikes by evertidings, the menu buttons (i.e. profile, stats, relationships) are listed at the top of the page so i took inspiration from that! and the many IFs that have a splash (?) screen at the beginning with the title

compared to when i started using twine (i think august 2023 was the first time i gave it a try), i’ve learned so much and there’s still so much to learn as well, i think coding has become my favorite part (making things looks pretty hehe)(with the help of amazing templates & ppl smarter than me, they do the heavy lifting fr)

with all the coding done (appearance wise) it’s lock in time for the revised prologue and chapter 1

the prologue has undergone a fair bit of change with the help of feedback & i’ve (hopefully) better established the setting and story.

some things that have changed besides wording and sentence structure, etc.: being able to choose what you did as a job (ex. working at the family inn) and meeting a new character (more like an old friend?)(no spoilers:))

some things i’ve been considering (SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CH.1 MAYBE): merging the revised prologue and chapter 1 into just the prologue bc chapter 1 differs a bit from the other chapters, but then the prologue would maybe be too strange timeframe wise? it’s a time skip after the events of the prologue (is that considered a spoiler, i don’t think so but???) that connects to the next chapters so maybe it’d just be better as its own chapter? or dropping the revised prologue by itself along with the updated ui/appearance then chapter 1 sometime after, or dropping the revised prologue and chapter 1 together, idk these are all just ideas i’ve been thinking about maybe i’ll do a poll

if you have anything you’d like to see, for example a specific job your MC worked, certain personality traits, or something like that, feel free to let me know & i’ll take them into consideration! i think now is the best time to add things bc it’s early development days & it’ll be easier to do so now than later

i’ve also decided to lean a little more into the supernatural aspect which i’m excited for (one specific thing really, i can’t wait to get to it🤭) the story’s world itself is fairly grounded in reality (as in the supernatural is unknown to most) but i’m looking forward to exploring it more

what you’re probably reading this for: depending on how i end up going about the prologue-chapter 1 merge decision & whether anything is added from requests/feedback, i’m aiming for a june release, july at the latest (fingers crossed). now that the appearance and function coding is complete (besides stat/choice tracking & other story related things), finishing the writing and coding it in is all that’s left

my schedule has done a 180 & some things are less than ideal at moment but it should all (hopefully) go smoothly from here! should anything change, i’ll let you all know

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now! ty for being patient & for reading this mess, i appreciate you all :)

[catboybiologist]

March 2024 documentation and transition journal

Just got my levels results back, meaning that the doc is fully updated for March:

This is possibly one of the most exciting and interesting months of HRT since starting, because I've experimented around a lot with injection doses, so let's talk about that! I'm also slapping a couple of old pics in here for reference, so I'll slap some selfie tags on this.

So, lots of interesting HRT stuff. At my last levels check, I was on 4mg injectable EV a week. And… my E actually went down, even though that’s an effectively higher dose than my previous regimen (6mg sublingual/day). Because of this, I talked with my provider, and essentially she told me to fuck around. I probably was way looser with it than she wanted me to be, but she told me to go to 8mg/week maximum, and try and settle on 6mg/week minimum. So….. here’s what I did.

1 week of 8mg.

2 weeks at 7mg.

2 weeks 6mg, during which my levels were checked at mid.

I… can’t really advocate for this. Basically, my logic was that I wanted to see what it felt like to max things out, but have my actual levels check reflect what I’m like at 6mg to know if increasing or maximizing the dose beyond that is necessary at all. Ultimately, I’ve concluded that 8mg feels too high- I start getting a bit of headache and nausea at peak. 7mg feels very comfortable. 6mg, I felt fucking miserable at trough. When I was on 4mg/week, I used a couple of sublingual pills to try and get through that, but I tried to see if I could stop doing that. It went okay for the higher doses, but on 6mg… ugh. Felt like complete shit. I’ll def be using a couple this week to get through that, probably just 4-6mg sublingual on wed/thurs to make sure I’m feeling okay.

Oh. Also. I ditched Spironolactone, against the advice of my provider. 

I was getting really, REALLY irritated by the diuretic effects, so I quit it when I tried to 8mg dose just to see what would happen. I figured that 8mg would be more than enough to suppress T on its own (likely true), and so I thought it would be the best time to try that. And… when I stopped spiro, a depressive haze that had been in my head lifted very quickly. I thought it was just depression based on a rough past couple of months, and that’s probably true, but it also felt physical. The diuretic effects have also stopped, and I genuinely can’t imagine going back on spiro.

I’ve heard a lot of theoretical stuff about spiro potentially being able to inhibit growth and development. It's possibly a growth hormone inhibitor, but should be a more potent antiandrogen than anyone else. It’s…. Really hard to say whether spiro actually inhibits growth. As with a lot of transfemme physical developments, there’s never been a comprehensive, conclusive study on it, which is why its relegated to miscellaneous anecdotes that everyone will swear one way or the other on. I’ll have some opinions on this later.

So what improvement to my levels did I get out of all of this?

Well…. Good, but nothing radical. My midcycle estrogen is 159 pg/mL, which is about my target for trough. It’s a good step up from the 4mg dose, but I’m probably going to increase to 7mg/week- that felt fine to me, and I’m pretty confident that that’ll be the dose that nails it. I’m pretty deadset on going forward with that, I would just need a levels check to verify we’re all good there. (Side note, I’m a bit frustrated that my body literally seems allergic to just… stuff. Idk if I have an overactive liver or what, but my T crashed super easily, adderall consistently lasts shorter than it should, and my E is really struggling to go up.)

And did this result in any physical improvement? 

I actually think that this last month has been the single fastest month of physical development I’ve ever had. Here’s some things I’ve noticed:

My breasts have become much larger and more developed in relation to my chest, with a much better shape. Comparison pictures to even just the end of January show a wild difference (sorry, not posting that publicly). To be fair, though, I’m still pretty clearly in tanner 2, and I maybe want to wait for just a bit more development before I start progesterone. 

Waist measurement is still going down, and hip measurement is still holding steady. This means that, in effect, my hips are getting wider.

And this is one of the most exciting ones- my upper body seems like its getting smaller. I’m floored by this. My underbust is less, my chest looks noticeably less barrel-y, and my ribcage kind of “flows” into my waist better. I wrote a bit about this on reddit just now, but I think I know what’s happening here. Not only is fat burning from the sides of my chest as it builds on the front of my chest, I actually think my costal cartilage might be getting “tighter”, effectively pulling my ribs a bit closer in to my sternum

I have…. No way to confirm the hunches of that last one, other than the images I can show. So for educational purposes (and y’know. Making the funny women in my phone type funny syllables) Here’s a quick timeline where I think you can see the “barrellness” of my chest decreasing:

From left to right, we have September (0-1mo), December (3-4mo), March (6-7mo)

Don't worry, my shoulders are just as wide and athletic dyke-y.

Am I delusional? Is this anything? Maybe. Pictures are hard to make consistent with changes this small. But I do feel like its noticeable, and it seems like women’s cut shirts and tanks have fit me in a way that’s a lot more consistent with a cis woman’s body. Again, there’s also nsfw images, and I think they show a lot of progress, and I think I can pretty definitively say that this has been the single month with the most physical changes since, well, my first month back in September. 

Why did this happen? Well, I’m working with a sample size of one here, and multiple variables have changed at the same time. There’s really three things that could be happening: increased injection dosage, ditching spiro, or the general come and go of physical changes. It’s impossible to completely know what’s going on because of this, unfortunately- I’d need way more data. That said…. This is the first new “wave” of development I’ve had since I started, and my actual blood levels didn’t increase that much. I really, really don’t want to conclude anything, but I’m kinda thinking that spiro had something to do with it. It has broad effects on physiology which aren’t entirely characterized, that could easily theoretically be inhibiting generic growth and development. That said, I think starting with a strong antiandrogen is basically necessary for HRT. It’s extremely difficult to get E levels up without robustly inhibiting T first. Obviously don’t take this as medical advice, or even a scientific opinion. This is nothing more than a hunch.

Idk. I’m happy. I feel like I finally am starting to break through the progress stall I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with. And I think getting the proper injection dose actually worked to break through it. I’m feeling a lot better with my transition in general too. I won’t elaborate much here, but I’ve been coming out to a lot more people, and its been tentatively going about as well as I could ask. We’ll see what the future holds, but I’m excited about it.

[beautifulmindset111]

MY JOURNEY/ PROGRESS WITH THE VOID STATE

If you checked my post below this one at the bottom of the post I was saying i was trying to enter void state using yoga nidra (Jason Stephen yoga nidra his worked the best for me) I didn’t enter last night bcuz my muscle was jerking so I thought it would mess up my progress buttt it was just falling asleep quickly so if I js ignore it and didn’t pay so much attention I would’ve entered the void state and that’s what it’s going to happen tonight im deciding and allowing myself to go in the void state finally after so long (since 2021) im gonna stop yapping and update yall later but yesterday was night 1 so the first update will be from yesterday night

5/16/24 - did the guided meditation (Jason Stephen’s) at 2:00 am 2x and affirmed and didn’t enter bcuz of the muscle jerks I was having .

same day - At 5:00 am rn i did the meditation and affirmed but i was not in right state it helped feel relaxed kinda but i was not focused on the meditation. so it didn’t get me into that state of deep consciousness that i tapped into 2 days i wasn’t focused on what he was saying and was kinda late to his commands some i didn’t even know what to focus on buttt i sooo recommend his yoga nidra and I spelled his name wrong it’s Jason Stephenson yall 😭but like i was saying i recommend his vid sm 2 days ago when I was focused on it I felt idk how to explain it but like a good light headedness when I was done . So I js wasn’t focused enough tho. I needed to ground myself kinda but yh guys happy manifesting and shiftingggg🫶🏾✌🏾

5/17/24- didn’t do it 😁

5/18/24- i just tried a 2hr yoga nidra guided meditation by ally boothroyth and I didn’t even do deep breaths I js laid there focusing on my breath listening to her talking. I didn’t do any deep breathing exercises bc I’m not really good at them and I’m lazy 😭 i wanted to do a longer version bcuz I js thought it was better bc it’s 2hrs and Ik I’m gonna probably enter/wake up in the void by then and I’m not a fan of silence it makes me bored and fall asleep i started seeing a light white flashes it wasn’t literally flashing at me but like yk when ur under water and u see the waves type shii thats how it was and then my left hand started feeling floaty and then I started feeling like I was spinning like I was a roasted pig on a bonfire and yea then I opened my eyes! im definitely going to try this tn !!! I’ll update u guys tmrw!!!!!!

5/19/24- I tried it this morning and my hand felt floaty that’s it my end time was 23:22.

5/25/24- hey guys ik I’ve been distant and im ngl i haven’t rlly been doing anything these past few days i going to stay off of tumblr for a while and stay consistent with my void journey but off social media i love u guys sm and im thankful for u guys sticking by me and watching my progress. once I get into the void I’ll come back and tell u guys my experience and what I manifested im going to stay on tumblr and give u guys advice !! So farewell for now my bunnis until I come back 🩷 - ariisrealities

[peachysunrize]

Hello, love your blog!

Do you have any fic recommendations on ao3 or here that are green centered and well written? They can be longer, time travelling, slow burn, smut or not.. Everything really. It's so hard to find good fics that are pro green or at least neutral. I can also recommend a few if you're interested. For example, if you like Rhaemond, there is a great fic by daylander1000 "See, what had happened was...". It's an amazing analysis on Aemond and Rhaena as children and later as adults, still unfinished but I'm looking forward to the updates. The characters are so well written, not only the main pairing, but also Alicent and Criston which is always a bonus. There is also Aegon/OC fic called "Burning jasmine" by scaly freaks, then "Witchcraft in your lips" (this one is Aemond/Sansa which might be unusual, but is amazingly written, also not finished yet). Finally, there is a fic called "The dragon and the tower" that I thought at first I wouldn't like because of the pairing (Daemicent) but it turned out to be great. Highly recommend all of these.

Anyway, if you have any other fic recommendations, I would like to check them out. Thanks in advance!

Hello, lovey!! Thank you so much for your kind words and THE FICS OMG I WOULD LOVE TO READ THESE!!! I’ll read them asap<3

As for recommendations, let me give you some of the best fics I’ve ever read! (Numbers are not rankings) you may have read some of them, but these are my always go to fics!

1. Children Of The Empire by glasscandlegrenades on ao3: Aemond x reader, neutral but sides more with greens. The author’s writing skills are god tier. Still ongoing, strong!niece!reader, fluff angst smut and everything! Even dad aemond would I absolutely adore!! Aemond is so canonically written, he’s not massively cruel, and everyone is written just perfectly.

2. So many fics by @inthedayswhenlandswerefew (she’s also on ao3!)

Now I’m Covered In You -> Aemond x reader Wars Of The Roses au, sooooo much angst and fluff. This story was the first thing I read from Maggie, and now I’m obsessed with all of her works. Pro team green, reader is Aegon’s wife👀

Have You No Idea That You’re In Deep? -> Aemond x reader, pro team green, angst angst angst angst mixed with fluff and smut, Aemond is so canon like I can’t tell you how much I love this fic’s Aemond.

When The World Is Crashing Down -> Aegon x reader, pro team green, oh the angst but their relationship is worth every single second you spend reading this fic. This has to be my favorite Aegon fic I’ve ever read. Absolutely amazing, magnificently written, gut wrenching and heartbreaking but I LOVE IT!!!!

3. Midnight Blades by LostinAStory on ao3: Aemond x reader, idk if you’ve read this or not, but this is one of my most favorite fics ever. Pro team green, new settings, reader is from free cities, so much smut!!!! So much fluff with a touch of angst. It’s a bit older probably from late 2022/early 2023, but it’s worth reading!! I think I’ve read it three times!

4. You were always with me[the stolen jewel] by Sillyhero on ao3 & @myfandomprompts on here: Aemond x reader. neutral that progressively turns towards greens. One of my favorites of all times!!! Quick chemistry, so well written, the plot twists are amazing, reader and Aemond’s relationship evolves into something so special and beautiful!!

[asterias-record-shop]

12 fits so well with the virgin prompt r u kidding me 😩😩 he’d sit inside u for a second to let u adjust, waiting for ur go ahead when he distracts u with marks. ud look down all our a breath and see the marks when it hits u that people who know. he’d chuckle against ur stomach and place his chin on ur body as he looks up at u ok OK IM GETTING OFF TRACK SORRY 🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️🧎🏼‍♀️ HE JUST DOES THINGS TO ME IDK

—𓆩[i’ll be gentle]𓆪—

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[bingo masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Finnick Odair x Fem! Virgin! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, smut

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 2.9K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - You were the first person Finnick actually fell in love with, his best friend. A survivor of one of the games after he was called into his own, winning by your skill of trapping and running, you were quickly a fan favorite and everyone had their eyes on you, even though your more ‘innocent’ mindset was still intact after the games. With everyone in District 13 eyeing you, including Gale, Finnick decides he has to show everyone who you belong to.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - CORRUPTION KINK CORRUPTION KINK CORRUPTION KINK- || Finnick loves you so fucking much omg || Gale is an asshole fuck him (maybe literally, just because his dick looks big but y’know) || Finnick definitely has a possession kink || cursing || hickies hickies hickies || scratching || virginity loss || he’s so gentle omg || I love finnick || oral || fingering || spit || cum eating || multiple orgasms ||

Some people thought you were lucky to not have gone to the Quarter Quell. As soon as your name was drawn, you started to step forward before Mags raised her hand.

“What?” You had whispered, quickly looking at her, a smile on her face as she pulled you back with a gentle hand.

Just like Finnick, she had been your mentor, and you turned to the person who drew your name, shaking your head. “No. No, no! Mags, no!”

The Peacekeepers dragged you back, Finnick closing his eyes at the sound of your screams and pleads. Mags was being sent to her death, no matter how much Finnick would try to protect her, there were twenty-two other tributes and cruel Game Masters that wouldn’t let this happen.

“Who’s that?” Katniss asks as she stares at the TV, remote in hand as her eyes follow your form.

“That is our peacock’s fiancée,” Haymitch said, staring at the TV. “Won her game by rolling with the Careers before trapping them in a net and running. The net was rigged to the edge of the arena, so as soon as she threw a rock at it, she shocked all the Careers to death.”

“Then the rest must’ve been easy.” Peeta says, making Haymitch laugh.

“For her traps? Easier than everything that exists, her father worked with another tribute, Beetee.” Haymitch goes to change the channel before Katniss takes away the remote, skipping it back to where you were being dragged away by Peacekeepers.

“She’s sad.”

“I’d say more in distress.”

“Because someone else is going to the games instead of her? Why?” Katniss was confused, the thought of someone being sad that someone took her place?

“Well, Mags was her mentor. Mags sacrificing herself for her is a mercy on her end, but torture on Y/N’s.”

Maybe that’s when Katniss saw you as somewhat of an equal, and even with Peeta missing, she came up and introduced herself to you. It wasn’t something unusual, you knew who Katniss Everdeen was. “It’s nice to meet you, Katniss, I’m Y/N L/N.”

She nods slightly as Finnick starts walking over, Katniss quickly turning around. “He’s very interesting. Finnick.”

You giggle. “I know.”

“Y/N, darling, are you hungry? I brought you some food.”

You smiled, nodding. “Yes, please. Excuse me, Katniss, I will see you later.”

He takes your hand, dragging you along behind him as you wave at her. You squeezed his hand with a giggle, sitting down next to him as he sat down with you at the tables. “Got you what you like. Know you probably won’t eat anything else.”

You giggled, leaning into his chest. “I just uhm… I’m a little… I feel like someone’s watching me. I feel off.”

He looks around, quickly finding blue eyes staring back at him. Gale quickly looks away, covering his mouth making Finnick scoff. “Yeah, someone’s watching all right.”

You look back, letting out a laugh when you find him glaring at Gale. “Gale? Really, Fin? Everyone knows I’m yours, Finnick, you might as well show them.”

Finnick didn’t think that you knew how much impact your words had on him, especially when Gale was staring at you during training. You weren’t really good at physical fighting, but you were able to hide basically anywhere and climb almost anything. He watched you hold the rope in both hands, just a bit thicker than his cocky that you’d never seen.

He always wanted to see you drool over it, your wide innocent eyes staring at his length, wondering what you would do if you could see him.

The training suit was tight in your body, fitting your form as you pulled yourself up the rope to the rafters. Gale was staring too and he hated it, glaring at the other man as you quickly made it to the top and hid in the rafters.

Finnick smiled, looking around, trying to search for you before he felt a soft tap on his shoulder. Quickly, he turns around to see you standing there with a pretty smile on your beautiful face, giggling. “Got ya?”

He smiled, reaching to hold your hips and pulling you closer. “Yeah, darling, you did.”

You giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. “You alright, Fin? You seem a little… off.”

He shook his head, quickly grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the training room.

“Hey! Hey, wait!”

You pause, but Finnick keeps dragging you along as Gale chases after you both. “Wait! Y/N!”

“Finnick, Gale is calling me,” you say quickly, Finnick ignoring your words. “Finnick, what’s wrong?”

“You think I don’t know how he looks at you, my darling? He looks at you like you’re fresh meat,” he basically growled as he got to your shared room, quickly opening the door and pulling you inside. “You want me to show everyone you’re mine, darling? Let’s show everyone.”

You gasp as he slowly pushes you back, your hands quickly moving to his hair with a soft whimper. “F-Finnick? I’ve never… I’ve never done this before.”

He smiled, lifting you up easily, holding you against his waist before slowly leaving you back on the bed. He supports himself with his elbows as he pulls your face to his, pressing firm kisses to your lips. “I won’t do it if you don’t want me to. If you let me though, I’ll make sure that you feel better than you’ve ever felt.”

“Y-You don’t understand, Fin, I’ve never done anything like this. I’ve never touched myself, I’ve never…” you inhaled shakily as he stared at you, golden eyes darkening at the thought of you being untouched even by your own hands. “Finnick?”

“Oh darling,” he says, laughing slightly. “You’ve never touched yourself?”

You gasped as his hand pushed down your chest, easily unbuttoning your training suit to stroke against your plush tummy. His hand pressed against your tits, over the cups of your bra and flicking against your nipple. It makes you gasp, your legs squeezing together as you quickly hold his head. “F-Fin!”

“Let me fuck you baby, I’ll be gentle. I’ll be so good to you, you know I will. I’ll fill you up, I’ll fill you up so much darling, and I won’t stop until you’ve become addicted to my cock. Does that sound good, baby? You want that?” He mumbles against your skin, gasping as his hand cupped your clenching pussy.

“F-Finnick, promise you’ll be gentle?”

He grinned up at you, nodding as he started to pull off your clothes. “I promise baby, you know I’d never lie to you. I’ll stretch you out nice and good, alright, and then I’ll let you put it in on your own, okay? Does that sound good?”

You smiled, nodding as he slowly pulled away to press soft kisses to your waistline. He was ecstatic, even the thought of taking your virginity made his fingers shake in excitement as he started to sit up. He slowly pulled on your suit, taking off your first layer of clothes before taking his fingers and softly rubbing down your tummy.

It makes you squirm, heat flooding down to your cunt as your hands push into his shirt. “C-Can you take this off?”

He nods, humming as he pulls off his shirt before tugging on your pretty panties. He groaned as he took a lewd whiff, a squeal falling from your lips as his lips claimed your clit, groaning loudly. You let out a loud gasp, the feeling foreign as he sucks on the sensitive bud with his hot mouth.

“F-Finnick! Finn, Finn it feels weird.”

He hummed, the feeling making your back arch as wetness pools underneath where you were laying. His fingers stroke your slit, quickly gathering your wetness with ease. “Does it honey? It seems like it feels good.”

“F-Feels good, but weird. Your mouth… your mouth and your fingers feel good. I-It feels a little weird, but good,” you whimpered softly, gasping as the pads of his fingers pushed against your clit before teasing your entrance. “F-Finnick, your nails. Th-They hurt.”

He hummed. “I’m sorry, honey, I’ll fix it okay?”

He pulled his fingers out, licking them before carefully pushing back in. You gasped, the one finger making your back arch and your eyes squeezed closed in slight discomfort. “F-Finn, feels weird!”

“Just give it a minute baby, I got you,” he whispered, using his thumb to rub against the rim of your tight entrance, his tongue flicking against your clit. Your eyes roll back, shivers of pleasure making your thighs shake and try to squeeze shut. “Hey honey, don’t forget I’m still down here.”

You whimper as he grinned up at you, his lips shiny with your lewd juices before his tongue flattens against your clit and your legs go over his shoulders. He groaned loudly, the taste of you on his tongue quickly becoming addictive as he sucked on your clit. Your eyes rolled back as he started to thrust his finger, his middle digit long and pressing into that sensitive spot over and over again.

You whine loudly as he lets his spit collect on your clit, sucking and nibbling before he pulls away to pull his spit down to your entrance with the tip of his tongue. He could feel you clench around him, twisting his fingers just a bit to push another finger into you without scratching you with his nails.

You whined loudly, gasping. “F-Finn, it’s too much!”

He shakes his head, pushing his tongue around your cunt. “No baby, my cock is a little less than three fingers thick, gotta make sure that you’re all stretched out so I don’t hurt you.”

You groaned, nodding as you pushed your hands down to hold his head. “C-Can you lick me more? I like it.”

He hummed, nodding as he pushed his tongue in with his fingers, loud whines leaving your lips as he attempted to suck on your cunt, tongue pushing in and out. You clenched around him, whining loudly as you started to roll your hips. He pulled away, gasping. “There we go baby, feel good?”

You nodded, reaching up to cover your mouth. “Y-Yes. Yes, so so good.”

He smiled, pushing another finger into you, watching your body writhe and hips roll into his fingers. “You like it, darling? Feel good?”

You nod your head, whimpering. “F-Finn, my tummy… my tummy feels weird.”

He hummed. “Feel tight? Twisty, darling?”

“Y-Yeah! Yeah, I feel good, I feel… I feel s-so good, so fucking good.”

“I’m making you feel good, aren’t I darling? My fingers and my mouth?” He sucked in your clit, watching you whine as you buck your hips.

“Yes! Yes, Finn, I-I feel so good! Fuck!” You scream out, gasping as your stomach tightens, hips bucking as he groaned, sucking on your pussy before popping his lips against your clit. His tip was leaking with precum, your mind hazy and blurry from your first orgasm ever, eyes rolling back as you let out a loud groan.

“You ready for my cock, darling?”

You gasped, nodding as he slowly pulled away to pull down his pants and underwear, his click slapping against his lower stomach as he slowly sit back against the headboard, gasping as you quickly moved to straddle his hips. “L-Like this?”

“Not yet darling, you need to make sure it doesn't hurt you. You need to… put your mouth on my cock, darling.” He watches as you nod eagerly, quickly moving lower as you take his cock.

“Finnick, baby, you’re so pretty. Your cock is so pretty, can barely fit it in my hand,” you whined, squeezing making his eyes squeeze shut. “Wh-What do I do, Finnick? What do you like?”

Finnick knew whatever he did, he’d love it. Touches have always repulsed him, but with you, with you he loved it. “You just do what you think is right, baby.”

You whined. “C-Can I try to put it all in my mouth?”

“Yes, darling, I’d love that.”

You open your mouth wide, taking a large inhale before sinking your mouth down onto his cock, a gasp falling from his lips. He groaned loudly as you bobbed your head, jaw slack and throat relaxed. Your teeth grazed his length making him hold back a gasp, your slight roughness making his eyes squeeze shut.

He was addicted to it, though, holding the back of your head as you gagged around his cock and bobbed your head. You choked softly as you push your head down so your nose pressed against his pelvis and you gagged. He groaned loudly, gasping as you pulled away with a loud breath for air, your spit and his precum sliding down his cock and connecting your lips with his tips in large gloops.

“D-Do I keep going? Did I do good?”

He shakes his head, humming. “No baby, I can see your cunt leaking for me. Why don’t you fuck me?”

You nodded your head, whimpering as you hovered over his cock and held it with his large hand. “Will you help me, Finnick?”

He nodded, wrapping his loose hand around your waist and leaning forward to press kisses along your torso and abdomen. “I will, baby.”

You whined as you sunk down on him, hands holding his shoulders and digging your nails into his skin. You threw your head back as he started to press his lips harder into your skin. He sucked, biting and groaning against your skin as you whimpered. “F-Finnick, I don’t think I can… I don’t think it’s going to fit!”

“It will fit, darling, I promise. It’ll be a lot, but I know you can take it, you’re doing so good. Just focus on my mouth, it’ll feel good. Oh, my darling girl, I have to mark you — I need to show everyone who you belong to. Especially that fucking asshole.”

You whined as he sucked hickies into your skin, finally sinking fully onto his cock as you groaned into his ear. “Finnick, I’m so full, I don’t know if I c-can move anymore!”

“You want me to fuck you baby? I can fuck you so good, darling, so so good.” He groaned as you tried to bounce, whining loudly as you shook your head.

“I-I can’t… please, please, will you fuck me?” You asked as he held your hips, easily placing you on your back.

He wasted no time, ramming his hips into you, fucking you like a jackhammer. Your eyes rolled back, body bouncing with his thrusts as your moans filled the room, his cock hitting all of the right places as his name fell from your lips. “Finnick! Finnick, Finnick you feel so good, Finnick Finnick Finnick!”

He couldn’t stop, not when your cunt was wrapped so tightly around him, your pussy clenching as he groaned loudly into your neck. “Fuck, Y/N, darling, your pussy is so good for me. Never want to pull out baby, never want to stop fucking you darling, do I have to stop?”

You shake your head, your thighs shaking as you whine into his chest. “Finnick, I’ve never felt so good, please don’t stop.”

He groaned loudly, slamming his hips into you just to feel your entire cunt clench around his shaft and a strangled groan leave his mouth. You dig your nails into his back, groaning loudly as he pulls his face away as he pressed a firm kiss to your lips. “Let’s take a break, I don’t want to break you.”

“W-Will you clean me up?”

“Of course I will, darling, I will do anything you want baby.”

He quickly cleans you up, efficiently of course as he laid back, watching as you laid on top of his body. You were sitting on his cock as he kissed against your skin, humming. “Did I make you feel good?”

“So, so good, Finnick. You did so well.”

He smirks as he pulls you in for another kiss. “Well, you want me to do it again?”

You laugh, nodding. “Yeah I do.”

He pauses, pulling you in for another kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Finnick.”

omg, I love fulfilling requests ♡ keep them coming for Bingo!!

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© asterias-record-shop

[usuratongaychi]

NARUTO HEADCANONS!!!

lol im finally making this post😭😭I’ll add and update things as i think of them.

ok Naruto first

- has definitely gotten sick from only eating instant ramen for a while.

- used to steal A LOT, he got pretty good at it and stopped caring abt it.

- has a lot more foxlike features than what is shown. his nails are probably sharper/stringer than most peoples, has a considerable amount of body hair, a high pitched laugh (like a fox’s call) and a high jump.

- i feel like hes very ADHD coded.

- one of those people that thinks everyone is bi, or at least a little gay. “wdym you dont wanna kiss your male friends??”

- would be one of those guys that argues about which rapper is the best..idk he just seems like the type.

Sasuke!!

- tbh i feel like he has a lot more mental effects from the uchiha massacre than is shown in the story. I can see him being thinner than naruto and sakura, just bc he’s always anxious.

- or having traps set up at his house, things like that.

- he probably sees things out of the corners of his eyes and jump a lot. (most of these im getting from when i had ptsd💀)

- he cuts his hair short to avoid looking any more like itachi than he already does.

- he’s probably one of those people who cant STAND processed food. he gets on naruto all the time about only eating junk food.

Sakura

- she was definitely really friendly as a kid. totally the type to invite quieter kids to play and stuff like that. she never wanted anyone else to be excluded.

- she was hinata’s first friend, since shes so quiet.

- she’s the type to buy everything in pink too.

idk i got nothin

Hinataaaaaaa

- definitely owns rabbits, maybe hamsters too. she would be such a good pet mom😭😭, esp because rodents are so finnicky and need quiet environments.

- has a mega sweet tooth.

- likes collecting things. charms, dried flowers, pretty rocks, stickers.

- definitely has an anxiety disorder, tho im sure they don’t have antidepressants in the ninja world💀

ok thats all i have the energy for now, updates later!!

[by-soleil]

can't fight this feeling

Pairing: Mark Lee x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.7k+

Warning: One-sided love, Mutual pinning (?), Oblivious bestfriend(s), idk...

This fic was inspired by "Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon"

•••

You remember it clearly. It was the morning of the very first day. The sun was unforgiving, blazing thru the thinnest of fabric that was your blouse. And it was only 9 in the morning. How you survived the rest of the day was still a mystery.

After sighing for the nth time, you try to scan the new surrounding. The unfamiliarity of it left you with an uneasy feeling. How exactly does one supposed to find where the ‘Neo Auditorium’ is after only being here once? Granted, it was your fault. It was you who skipped the unofficial tour of the ground in favor of getting your nails done.

You fish your phone out, maybe your friends replied to the text you sent before you started driving earlier. They should be here already, they should know where you’re supposed to be heading.

“Oh, crap.” you grit your teeth in annoyance. Checking once more if there are any clues about where that Neo place is in your group chat before locking your phone and threw it carelessly inside your purse.

“Screw it, I’ll find my way.” you mumble to yourself as you head towards the nearest walkway shaded by the tree.

Or so you thought.

What supposed to be a 4-minute walk from your car turned into a 30 minute of absolute confusion. Stopping at every directories for some sign only for you to find out weeks later that it hasn’t even been updated since God know when.

Just when you’re about to give up and just go back to your car for some air conditioning, someone approached you.

“Excuse me, do you need help?”

“Yeah, actually. l think I’m lost, I’ve walked around probably a thousand times to look for that damned Neo-something and somehow just ended up back here. My head hurts and I haven’t broke into these shoes ugh I feel like—“ you abruptly stop, realizing you just overshared and probably scare the only person that might actually help you. “I’m sorry, I’m mumbling. Yeah, a help would be nice.” you smile shyly.

The man in front of you gulped. A bit flustered with how fast you were talking. Then he chuckled. “It’s fine, you’re good. You’re looking for the Neo Auditorium, eh?” he asks, still chuckling lightly.

You nod, questioning weather you should feel offended that the man in front of you can’t seem to stop chuckling.

“I’m heading that way, actually. I’m guessing we’re in the same class. I could show you where it is.”

“Ugh, thank God!” you grunt, feeling relieved. Sipping what’s left of your watered down iced coffee, you nod to him. “Let’s go.”

“Umm, actually, can you wait a sec? I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be quick I promise.” The man in front of you hold his hand up as if to assure you he wasn’t lying.

A chuckle slipped out of your mouth and you nod before following the man towards the bathroom.

“I’m Mark, by the way.” the man walking next to you introduced himself. Making sure his hands are dry by patting it on his shirt before offering it for you to shake.

After introducing yourself, you arrived in front of a big wooden door with a big slab of glass running through the middle of it.

“You can sit next to me, the seats in front are all taken I think.” Mark offers kindly. Which of course you accept, a friendly face was exactly what you needed that day.

And that’s how you met Mark, your dearest, closest best friend.

Throughout the years, you and Mark become inseparable. It is not a strange thing for someone to ask you where Mark is when his phone is unreachable. Reserving two seats for you knowing Mark would also tag along anyway.

Here’s the thing, being around Mark is easy and comfortable. He feels like home.

Mark is your person as you are his. You tell Mark everything and he also tells you everything about him. Well, most things.

Countless nights spent with you burning his ears off talking about your shitty love life. How your ocean-deep love for Haechan is never reciprocated.

Mark is a great listener, he might never give you any advice on how to deal with your stupidity when it comes to Heachan—sometimes you wonder why, cause he seems to always have an opinion about everything else—but you don’t care. All you needed was to be heard. To feel heard. And Mark give you just that.

“What’s up, lover boy?” Jaemin greets Mark when he set his book bag down near the couch.

“Shut up, man.” He jokingly brush him off. Taking the guitar and placing it on his lap.

Jeno then pops out of nowhere, startling both Mark and Jaemin. “You coming tonight, lover boy? You know Haechan always throw the best parties.” he wiggles his brows.

“Of course Mark is going, his little girlfriend is gonna be there. Where is she, anyway? Aren’t you guys supposed to be glued together or something?” Jaemin continue to tease.

Mark taps the guitar strings, “First of all,” then he strums a chord, “not my girlfriend.” his slender fingers quick to adjust to another chord before strumming once more. “Second, she’s getting her nails done.” another strum of the guitar follows before he quietly murmured “for Haechan’s party.”

“How are you the smartest person I know yet capable of being this stupid?” Jeno tsks, shaking his head as he head for the fridge.

“Remind me to never let you copy my assignments from now on.” Mark jokes. Knowing exactly what Jeno is implying with him being stupid.

Mark never know that it would end up like this. What started out as friendship has grown stronger. At least for him.

Maybe it was the way you always put everyone else’s feelings before yours. Accommodating people’s wants and needs, even if it means going the extra miles.

Always so kind towards other people yet never really expect the same from them. Always so selfless, smiling through the inconvenience people threw your way. Mark knows that you know you can say no. You just choose not to. Making him want to be the person you could rely on.

Or maybe it was your pure heart. You love hard, you really do. Too bad it’s never to the right person. What a shame, really.

Mark wishes he had the strength to show his feelings. The courage to just shut you up when you tell him that you feel like shit and unwanted. To kiss the pain from your voice away. To show you how amazing you really are. How you deserve to be treated.

Mark though it was only a phase. Maybe the endless hours spent together, be it studying or just hanging out in your room was taking a toll on him. But, nowadays he started to doubt himself.

“Yeah, right.” he often find himself mumble quietly, running circles inside that big ass head of his—yes, you’ve confirmed it. Mark has a big ass head. Making him all the more grateful you always gift him beanie and bucket hat instead of baseball cap. Truth be told, he’d love it regardless.

Mark tried plenty of times, he went on dates. Yet, his mind kept on wondering whether you’ve had dinner or not. Or would you like the gnocchi he’s been playing with through his entire date. Or is the music that’s been quietly playing in the background would suit your questionable music taste. Everything just somehow linked back to you.

Most of the girls were nice, hell, all of them were nice. But they’re just not you.

Sometimes, he’d think it was his ego. His needs to be needed. You were so out of it and all over the place sometimes, makes him want to take care of you. You make him feel good about a lot of things.

“You look very pretty.” you hear Mark say when you step into his car. Grinning widely when you roll your eyes.

“I’m gonna shoot my shot tonight, Markie! It’s now or never. I’m tired of Haechan only seeing me as friends. I mean, I’m not all that bad, right? I’m pretty—like you just said. I’m always cheerful. I could make a great girlfriend. Don’t you think?” you bring your body forward, pestering your bestfriend for some validation. You need all the ego boost you could get for tonight.

Mark could feel his gut stirring inside. Tonight, huh?

“Earth to Markie! Hello?” you wave a hand in front of his face.

“My bad, I just randomly thought of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Mark scrambles to turn the car on.

“Yeah, what? Are you okay, dude?” you ask genuinely concern. Your bestfriend was never the type to get all panicky. Something must’ve going on.

“Yeah, you’d make a great girlfriend.” was the last thing Mark said to you through the entire 20-minute ride to Haechan’s house.

What was supposed to be ‘the night’ for you, took turn for the absolute worst.

You were so eager to find Haechan as soon as you step into the party. The music blasting from the speakers pumping adrenaline straight to your gut.

Light airy steps got heavier the more you step into the living room. The visual of Haechan shoving his tongue down someone’s throat is all you could focus on. Smiling into the kiss like some simp in love.

Your vision’s getting blurry from the hot tears threatening to spill out. The air feels thick, the smell of booze doesn’t smell like a good time no more.

You didn’t feel the arm that suddenly wrapped around your shoulder, turning you around towards the front door. Helping you walk on your trembling limbs.

Everything was happening so fast. One second you were standing on Haechan’s living room grasping for air and the next you’re bawling your eyes out in your bestfriend’s arm. Soiling his ironed Ralph Lauren shirt with mixture of hot tears and snot.

Mark was there. Mark is always there. By your side as you pick up your shattered heart, gluing it back to together. He even helped gluing some of the pieces.

Mark was there, waiting patiently as you slowly turned back into your old self. The one he fell in love with.

Maybe what happened that night was for the best. Mark feel bad for feeling this way, but that was what you needed to finally get over Haechan.

You no longer fix your hair when Haechan walks by. You no longer care whether Haechan’s gonna be at the hang out later or not. You are over him.

“Wanna go get some Korean food?” Mark suggests over the phone.

“Kimchi jjigae?” you elaborate. Earning a groan from him.

“Something else. Literally anything except that.”

“Literally what is your problem with kimchi jjigae, Mark?!” you sound offended. Though it’s true you started eating kimchi jjigae just so you can resonate with Heachan, but over the time, you genuinely enjoy it. Annoying Mark everytime.

“I’m sick of it.” Mark groans. Never actually made his peace with the stuff you adopted when you were still head over heels towards Haechan.

“Then you pick! You know what? You’re pissing me off lately. Get that stick out of your ass before you come and talk to me!” you hang up the call before throwing your phone towards your bed.

Mark’s hands smacking the steering wheel repeatedly. Frustration consumes the better part of him. “What the fuck is your problem, dude?” Mark shouts to himself.

“Can’t fucking man up, I know that’s what.” Mark answer himself. Turning his car engine on before zooming to your place.

You barely caught you breath after cursing the hell out of Mark after the call ended earlier when someone—you obviously know who it is—starts pounding on your door.

“Open the door, please. I need you to hear me out.” Mark pleas, sounding way too soft for someone who just drove twenty miles above the speed limit all the way to your place.

You stand up immediately, stopping before you turn the door knob separating the two of you. “Are you done being an asshole? Cause I don’t have the energy to fight with you, Mark.”

“Please, open the door.” his plea sounds a lot sadder that before, weaken your pounding heart.

There are a bunch of things you expect when opening the door, but Mark, down on his knees looking defeated and red was definitely not one of them.

Mark breathes out you name, face looking up. He looked… nervous?

“I am sorry,—”

“As you should be,” you cut him off.

“Not just about earlier,” he paused, raising to his full height. Making you look up in the process. “But also for what I’m about to do”

Mark didn’t let you say anything before stepping into your personal space, catching you off guard. His hands fly up to cup each side of your face, causing heat to spread all over your body.

He breathes out your name wholeheartedly, “My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you that day. The day you were lost and can’t find our class. I’ve been running round in circles ever since. You take me to the places that alone I’d never find.”

“What are you saying, Mark?” your voice came out more like sigh.

“I can’t fight it no more. I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” Mark breathes heavily before leaning down and crashing his lips into yours.

The kiss was anything but sweet, it was filled with rage and desperation. It was filled with needs, it was like the kiss was the only thing keeping him alive. He doesn’t want the kiss, he needs it.

The shocked you felt was quickly washed off by the heat radiating from his soft lips working its way in against yours. Begging to be let it. Begging for you.

Your limp hands somehow find its strength to circle his waist, welcoming him with open arms as your lips do the same.

“What the fuck was that?” you laugh in his face when Mark finally have the decency to let you breathe.

He joins your chuckle as he connects your forehead with his. “Guess it finally get too much to handle.”

“What is?” your hands play with the hair on his nape.

“My feelings for you.” his voice lowers in volume.

You scoff, “You don’t get to feel shy after you just kissed me like a madman starving.” you try to pinch his sides. Earning a laugh so crisp you can’t help to join in.

“What took you so long?” you ask, outing yourself of knowing about his feelings already. Though it is obvious, you yourself are also afraid of pulling the trigger. Not wanting to lose the precious connection you and Mark have shared over the years.

“You knew?!” Mark shrieks in absolute horror.

You smack his forearm, “Everyone with brain size bigger than a shot glass would know, Markie!”

“Then why didn’t you say anything.” he pester, eyes still bulging out.

“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t wanna risk it. What we have, you know? And I know you’d break, eventually.”

“Of course, cause if it’s me begging on my knees it wouldn’t be a problem.” he rolls his eyes.

You stand on your tippy toes before landing a quick smooch on his lips. “Just like what I planned.”

“You little minx!” he bops your nose before throwing you on the bed, joining your laugh as you try to crawl away.

Things turned out way better than neither of you expected. The afternoon spent laughing, pointing out the times any of you showed affection more than what a friend should. Laughter and shrieks of embarrassment filled the small space of your bedroom. With the craving for kimchi jjigae long forgotten.

[ziggy-stardust-is-in-love]

So I thought maybe I’d do one of the informational things for my page (warning: it’s obnoxiously long)

You can call me Zags, C, or whatever you want

She / Her or They / Them

Omni

Demigirl?? Idk about gender rn (update: every day my thoughts on gender change)

Don’t be a creep I will block you (im a minor 🤨)

Please be nice I’m still kinda new and learning

Music is my life

Theatre kid!!

David Bowie made me who I am

Raised on classic rock

My posts will probably be random unfunny thoughts or updates

Ukulele freak

No negativity or bad vibes. We’re chill here

My interests

Green Day

David Bowie

Weezer

Basically any music ngl

Stranger Things

Back to the Future

Lord of the Rings

The Hobbit

Crying over people we can’t have

The Beatles

Billy Joel

My Chemical Romance (still learning)

Rodrick Heffley (shut up I love that man)

Green Day again I love them

The Lorax (gotta be one of my favorites)

Newsies (theatre kid)

CRUTCHIE!!! 💕 (Newsies) I played crutchie and it saved my life!!!!

Sister Act (theatre kid)

Sweeney Todd (theatre kid)

ANTHONY HOPE!!! (Sweeney Todd) AWESOME CHARACTER THAT I GOT TO PLAY!!!

Theatre in general‼️‼️ (PLEASE)

Pikmin

Heheh Good Omens now too

ANYTHING. PLEASE.

My husbands:

@someone-kill-the-ej & @killingthemoon84!!

My wife:

@natitith 😍😍💃🏽🕺🏻

MY BESTEST FRIEND TO EVER BE CREATED

@perfumeaddicted

You can always send requests for images to our Weezer on or images to put in American idiot

anyways sorry it’s so long maybe I’ll delete half of this later :P

[doodle-stroodle]

Updated ToH!Mike

Plus, an alt ver with dyed hair bc I didn’t know what ppl would like more 😭

Backstory: Mike is the middle child out of two sisters, Nancy and Holly. His parents run whatever the equivalent to an accounting firm in the Boiling Isles is. Karen is the face of that business due to her nature, while Ted is more working on the behind the scenes aspects. Ted doesn’t know much about his kids (except Holly) and Karen is so obsessed with appearing as a perfect family, she tends to forget her kids wants and needs in the process. Also, wouldn’t be complete without complete without child labor!! Mike writes and did enjoy it, until his parents saw it and figured out how to use it to their advantage. He writes letters, reports, and whatever else they can find for him to do.

Explanation for Mike’s hair (Pasted from another post of mine): I like to think Karen is forcing him to dye his hair like this because neither she or Ted have black hair and it throws people off. She believes it’s bad for the business they’re running or whatever, idk.

I would like to expand more on that, Mike is 100% Ted’s child (no scandals here, lol). But Karen is so worried about judgment from others, that it forces her to take these drastic steps. That’s probably apart of her offscreen arc or something because I like to think that she’d eventually grow as a person.

Mike’s relationship with Lucas: They were best friends until they were 10. Karen realized that Mike was getting bullied and basically made him change everything about himself, including his friends. Weak people have weak friends, strong people surround themselves with strong connections. They really stopped talking to each other when Mike stopped saying anything against Lucas’s bullies. He became a bystander.

I know he’s supposed to be the Amity of this au, but I really can’t see him bullying anyone. I think what’s more accurate is him repressing his true self and feelings, then meeting Will and essentially becoming himself again.

Relationship with his family: Mike is just a kid so he does love his parents. However, sometimes he wonders if they actually love him, or what he can do for them. At times, he feels like more of a prop than their child.

He loves his sisters as well, but isn’t close to Nancy. He tries to make sure to be the best brother to Holly that he can be.

I’ll tell more about his relationship with Will in another post but I might add onto this later!! I dunno yet 😭

I might make the other sheets differently, again I’m not sure yet

Also, feel free to add your own thoughts and headcanons!! I love hearing new ideas!

Since you requested to be tagged <3 @jainasolo1233