#I’ll look over it in the morning
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the way i just keep drawing despite being exhausted is crazy
#progress update for my favorite community of deranged people#to cover him in blood or to not cover him in blood. that is the question#literally woke up at 5am this morning so i could draw for a little over an hour before school#got home from school#started drawing again#rewatching this film was either the worst thing i could’ve done for myself or the very best#feeling so insufferable over them lately#(does this look anything like alex at all?)#(<- don’t answer that or i’ll cry)#wip#art#like minds#alex forbes fanart#drawing#murderous intent#art wip
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rewatching st s4 and just. lucas. love of my life he was trying so hard to do the right thing…. he’s still just the protector guy…… him and steve just…. two bisexual self sacrificing jock peas in a pod……
#d speaks#st#stranger things#stranger things s4#lucas sinclair#steve harrington#they are really. just my two babies!!!!#ep 2 and 3 w lucas knowingly and willingly putting himself into a very dangerous situation and joining unstable aggressive teens#on their literal manhunt. so he can keep an eye on them and divert their attention away from his friends however possible#when they visit band practice and jeff is like ‘lucas???’ the look lucas gives him of ‘DUDE PLEASE IM TRYING TO CONTAIN THIS SITUATION’#all the little white lies he keeps telling. the way andy gets in his face right away from the first morning#the way jason is like fr man this isn’t your fight we will still consider you a friend if you bounce now and lucas seems to genuinely think#that eddie DID kill chrissy or was wrapped up in it. and he still said no i’ll stay and protect eddie because eddie is a part of his circle#and he knows that where eddie goes dustin and mike follow and so he actively chooses to keep himself in a dangerous risky ass situation#just so that he can have intel and work to distract them from his people#also. i know it’s a separate thing but still dying over the little erica and jason at the sinclair door scene#fucking hysterical
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This isn’t my first rodeo aboard the solasmance train, but every time the break up scene rips out my heart and stomps on it. Every single time. It never gets better.
#poor lavellan looked so small and broken afterwards#also it genuinely feels like I’m going through a real break up right now (except I know I���ll feel better and be over it in the morning)#my heart hurts and I want to cry and watch stupid sappy romance movies with my besties#while they tell me I deserve better#penguinsomething#personal#solavellan
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i miss renrennnnnnnnnn
#woke up this morning and thought of him so now y’all have to think of him too#and so. once again. i try to bypass the preview website paywall for the renren chapter… (i’m not successful)#i want to see more of him (it’s a need at this point) i’ll settle for it if he shows up on the cover for vol 2 (im begging)#though i also wouldn’t mind if sahara ‘concon’ yuna shows up on vol 2 instead!!!! women’s wrongs yay#i’d l o s e it if he turns out to be another sicks and. like. dates nagisa while chizuhiyo becomes a thing#(all while concon and juri become bffs in the bg and bond over styling tips or sth)#i hope he gets a focus song some time soon (pls) i need him to inject some sanity into the chizuutan manga#though for some reason i think he looks like he’d be voiced by ono.ken…#he just has that vibe to him idk w h y#but. man. i want to see where he is and what he does during the events of the 2nd half of the [redacted] anime#i think it’d be super funny if renren and concon had to smack some sense into chizuutan behind the scenes to get her to make up with hiyo#yes it’d retcon. like. chizumama’s permission of hiyo’s unlawful entry but the [redacted] anime retcons everything anyway so why not#if the [redacted] anime can retcon yuko’s relocation to france the chizuutan manga can totally retcon a buncha other stuff r i g h t —#ok yup yeah enough renren thoughts for today; there’s not enough non region-locked info about him yet after all—#s o b s why is the chizuutan manga so hard to access worldwide why must you gatekeep renren from usssssss
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Small drawing collection of my latest creation Emran as a teenager/freshly minted Air Acolyte, for my dear partner in unhinged OC shenanigans @katkastrofa, as promised <3
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original character#I need to figure out a way to tag these guys#like with renny and dori I just put sotrl in front of their names and that works#but emran is technically an LaF character. though not uniquely tied to that verse. and idk what to do with Ila and Alasie#maybe I need to have some unique oc tag or smth. I’ll figure it out#if you’re wondering why I stayed up until half past 7 a.m to draw this it’s because I needed some way to cool down#after the kuviren smut absolutely broke my brain#and what better way to do that than by drawing my sweet baby boy?#yes lmao he went from baby girl to baby boy in like 24 hours. fucking sue me#but actually. actually!! they’re both. they contain multitudes :)#they probably haven’t even realised that at this point and are still in disguise#convinced that she’ll be punished for her deceit if anyone found out that she’s actually a girl#(okay off topic but the switching pronouns are really fun lmao)#but give them time. they’ll figure it out soon enough. in these pieces they’re slowly getting used to temple life#and that is the first step to self acceptance#I’m actually extremely proud of these. especially the one with the apple basket. I feel like the androgynous vibes are really there#and he looks like his brother the most in it#but the others are fun too. I loved doing the portrait. I should do them more often#and.. I will admit. I traced the lemur. I can barely draw people okay how do you expect me to draw animals#but I just think that Aiza would really love a little lemur friend#animals don’t judge and she doesn’t have to watch herself around them. she can just be. plus the lemurs are really cute <3#I want to eventually do a companion to this with Aiza instead. maybe from back before she ran away#probably something based on reflection from Mulan too bc the vibes are there. though.. to be completely honest#I’d say they have a lot more of Shurochka Azarova’s vibes than Mulan. but that’s just my love for Soviet cinema taking over#it’s essentially if mulan fought napoleon instead. and when discovered instead of left to die they promoted her to lieutenant 😁#I realise the comparison is completely incomprehensible to everyone but me but.. go watch the hussar ballad. it’s free on YouTube with subs#okay enough rambling. i shall now go to bed. @ Kat I hope this brightens up your morning at least somewhat. I love you!!
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two episodes of nervous crying your brains out for longer than one hour in the span of three days were not in my bingo card for 2024 when I graduated ten years ago and I would like to frankly get the fuck over myself
#personal for ts#one day i’ll be able to put into words#the absolutely hateful feeling of thinking you got over your shit#and then finding out that NOT ONLY you aren’t#but KNOWING you’re falling back into shitty coping mechanisms you STILL let it happen#honestly my self loathing is off the roof because fifteen years ago i didn’t know i was shitty coping#now i KNOW i am and guess what here i am doing the whole isolating myself and forgetting to reply to ppl song and dance#christ i thought i was okay with handling that kinda shit guess not#and yeah ofc i need to fix it for myself but this time is so much worse i’m just#my kingdom for waking up one morning and feeling some level of mental clarity#and for some goddamned financial stability#and for the force of will to keep the house tidy enough that i dont feel sad just looking at the state of the living room#guys also honestly sorry if i forgot to reply to your ask or pm or anything i’ll get to it at some point#i swear i’m not ignoring people on purpose i’m just completely overwhelmed sigh
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am i coming on my period, or am i just crying about my love life for the billionth time, just because?
#answer may vary#i woke up this morning randomly thinking about my ex#like my most serious and longest relationship to date who i was very much in love with#and who completely broke my heart and who took FOREVER to get over#and who i don’t even think of now#but like for some reason i was thinking of them this morning#like i was IN on that relationship#i should also note i was 17 so hearing wedding bells probably was a result of that imaoooo#but like FUCK i loved them and it completely destroyed me when they broke up with me#and i don’t know#i was literally a KID and i don’t think i’ve known love like that since or even felt it#and honestly? maybe the reason i had such bad relationships after was because i was looking for that person in someone else#that’s not even to say i’m still in love with them#i’m just saying that’s probably what it was back then#but i don’t know….#blah blah there’s someone for everyone and i’ll find my person someday#but like excuse me while i listen to the smiths and cry bc i feel like it will never happen#and every time i think i get close it gets snatched away and i get messed around and i’m so bored of it#siri play nobody by mitski#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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bestie we just might need some Murphy selfies … for mental health ☺️
#hope this is ok bestie 🥰#it’s from the last time I dog sat#cause I was going through the ones from this weekend and I have a few with me and the baby#but I look gross in all of them#it is sooooo hard to take pictures with Murphy - he just can’t sit long enough 😂#he’s like ‘ugh ok you want another picture???? fiiiiiine….. I’ll sit here for a secon- wait wait wait I have to kiss you all over your face’#I do have some PRECIOUS pictures of just him that I might show soon 🥺#I really can’t decide which one my favorite picture is - I have two that are neck and neck#one is when we were cuddling in the morning - his head is on my pillow and he’s a sleepy baby#the other one is he kept stealing my socks and at one point he just grabbed all of them and stuffed them in his mouth#I took a picture and he’s looking up at me like ‘what???? socks???? I didn’t steal any socks ����’#he cuddled with my socks and shoes multiple times#so so so cute#whoopsies I saved this as a draft and never posted it#sorry bestieee#enjoy some Murphy and a little peep of me 😇#I miss Murphy so much already it’s crazy#he was out for a walk yesterday and his owner sent me a pic cause he was sniffing around my car looking for me 🥺🥺🥺#me#mine#rosicheeks#Murphy#🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#ask#lovely mutuals
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the most fun a girl can have on a sunday night is cutting her own hair under the yellow fluorescent light of her bathroom <3
#didn’t tell any of my friends i was going to do this bc i was NOT goi n to be talked out of it#and you know what it looks good. and it was so fun. the thought ‘i should be a hairdresser’ went through my mind several times.#mutuals come sleep over and i’ll cut your hair while we gossip <33#(erm only a trim or like butterfly layers though.. & if i mess up we can get iced coffee & go to the hair dressers together the next#morning. it’ll be fun <3)
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Actually ignore that last post I have something new to get irritated about <- saw a post from someone with the most ass takes about W.ambus and T.riffany and now I feel the urge to kill someone with hammers
#꒰💬꒱ ❝ Dear Diary… ❞#eye twitches. I don’t like being that guy micromanaging how people interpret my F/Os#but this specific person does it in Such a way I can’t help but get irate when I see their stuff#they just have. the most asinine takes about W.ambus#I’ve done a good enough job ignoring they exist that if I look up their blog to refresh my memory I’ll just get angry all over again#anyways. thank you God for making me the only normal L.ottaham fan#sorry for bitching so early in the morning I uh. did NOT wake up in the best of moods as you can tell orz
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florida :^(
#didn’t actually expect fl to turn blue. but.#WHYY do we have to have a supermajority to pass an amendment. (i know why.)#like. abortion & marijuana are both over 50% yes. but it’s still looking like we’re not gonna win them.#idk. maybe i’ll wake up in the morning a miracle will have occurred. but. not hopeful.#izzy.txt
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think I just sobbed and moaned at the same time
#PLEASE#ben wade is hitting just right today#as always#LOOK. AT HIS FACE#HIS HAIRRRRR#begging to straddle him and just play in his hair#he’s looking like an angel bathed in golden light here#he’d be worth getting shot over#i’m right and i should say it#so hot he’s disrupting local weather patterns#meteorologists are baffled#I NEED HIM OKAY#i NEED to find out what that tongue does#and those hands also#i will be glad to share all my expertise with him as well#it’s none but he can teach me#I’LL BE A GOOD STUDENT BEN PLEASE#woke up so hot for him this morning#him and his gravelly voice and gentle hands and general sexiness#WHEN BEN WADE#when are you going to make an honest woman of me#3:10 to yuma#russell crowe#ben wade
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music is so intertwined with all aspects of my life. I have a song for almost every single moment—good,bad, and everything in between—of my life. music will forever be apart of my life and I love that it’s a way for me to remember moments of my life.
#there’s songs that remind me of my step moms playlist when her and my bio dad would be driving us to their house in AZ#there’s songs that remind me of tumultuous moments in my childhood and wishing I could be an adult already or that I could runaway#where no one would find me#there’s songs that remind me of my bio dad and even tho I hate him and I have my dad who loves me#I can’t deny that my bio dad introduced me to blink 182 and bc I was into them#I had some common ground with my dad now bc he loves rock esp classic rock#whenever I hear Metallica I think of my dad bc he loves enter sandman#and whenever I hear beyonce I think of my mom having her crazy in love music vidoe on her iPod#where I’d watch it over and over bc I wanted to look and be like Beyoncé#there’s this super specific Spanish corrido that reminds me of my grandma driving me to school in the mornings#and anytime I hear a cowbell in songs I think of my tio#who passed away when I was 7 and his favorite SNL skit with his brothers (my other tios) and my mom and her siblings#was the Jonas brothers will ferrel cowbell skit#anyways#that’s as personal and detailed as I’ll get for tonight
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Gonna start a fund for my Zagreus cosplay. I think I’ll need fifty or sixty bucks to buy some red leggings, yellow/orange socks, some fabric for his robes, probably some styrofoam for making the skull pauldron and shinguards, and maybe pipe cleaners and paper for the laurels. Oh, and ten thousand dollars for top surgery so I can have one tit out and not get in trouble for baring female-presenting nipples
#possibly one red contact lens if I wanna get really extra with it#might not need a wig if I let my hair get a little shaggy. my bed head rivals Zag’s. some mornings I look like a cockatiel#hadeez nuts#this is part shitpost and part actual plan#the thought of it does inspire me to lift weights at the very least#I’m realizing as I write this post that my choice to move out into an apartment means#I’ll be spending the equivalent amount of money to top surgery in rent over the course of a year#or more even. probably more. ugh. but I gotta gtfo here
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i feel very disappointed and sad right now 😞
#my three cousins (that i took care of a lot when i was younger) and i were supposed to go to breakfast and shopping in a v pride friendly#town tomorrow and we’ve had this planned for over a week and i’ve been looking forward to it every day since#and i just texted them letting them know when i’ll be at their house in the morning to pick them up#and one of them goes what plans? as if she didn’t agree to the plans last week and tells me it’s her bfs birthday tomorrow and she’s going#to his party. lol#and her brother just flat out cancels as well#i was so excited to have a day with all of them and show them around during pride month because the usual pride is turned up to the max#right now so it’s really cute and fun esp because the brother and the cousin i haven’t mentioned so far are queer#i just feel very disappointed and sad and honestly frustrated that they cancelled at the last minute and that i had to reach out to them to#find out that they were cancelling bro. who does that#so we’re going to go to breakfast at another place (not the place i was planning or wanting to take them) and then the 1 cousin who didn’t#cancel on me and i are still going to go shopping where i wanted to take her#>:l & :(((((((( i’m disappointed ☹️#it will still be fun but :(#it’s not what i had planned or wanted and i looked forward to it for a long time and had my hopes up high 😞#and sorry not to be that guy but i wish i had a gay or queer older sibling/cousin when i was younger so i am trying to be that for them#knight rambles
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I’m finally out of my ugly phase yasss let’s goooo
#tw body talk#tw body image#does anyone else’s face and body go into an ugly phase like two weeks before their period?#my body gets all bloated#my face too#and it just doesn’t look right???#it just looks ugly af#it’s my marination period#so during this period I also let my eyebrows grow out and get unkempt#and I literally don’t even look at myself in the mirror bc I know I’m looking ugly af 😂😂😂#also my mood swings are all over the place during this period#THEN once I do hit my period#my face and body start going back to normal#and now I’m on day three of my period and I looked at the mirror this morning like WHO is this person 🤭🤭🫡🫡#cos my ugly phase is almost over#once I decide my period is over (day four so tomorrow)#I start the maintenance phase#aka getting my brows done#oiling my hair#waxing my body#oh and that post period skinny hits too!!! 😌😌#and I have to get laser done too#I haven’t touched my face during my ugly phase these past two weeks#and I haven’t gotten laser done for two months so it’s starting to show#but by mid next week I’ll be feeling SO good I know it#my thoughts 💭
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