#who passed away when I was 7 and his favorite SNL skit with his brothers (my other tios) and my mom and her siblings

[leahcee]

music is so intertwined with all aspects of my life. I have a song for almost every single moment—good,bad, and everything in between—of my life. music will forever be apart of my life and I love that it’s a way for me to remember moments of my life.

[scoutshonor56]

Fred Who..?

“Oh yeah, I remember, the fried chicken chain owner guy who contributed big-time to my campaign – no, wait a minute, wait a minute - the head of the NAACP!... no, no, that’s Don King… oh, I KNOW, I got it, Kanye’s buddy, the big bastard with the crazy hair…  NO?  Aw come on Mike, throw me a bone here - have I ever met him?”

 Sigh… can this get any worse?  Wait a minute, don’t answer that.  America is now being run by a guy who would lose in a game of Jeopardy against a couple of 7th graders.

 “Yes Alex, I’ll take Black History for $300, please…”

 Donny: (“DOH!!”)

 Well, this past Wednesday was the kick-off to Black History Month, and you know Donny never passes up an opportunity to display his love of (pick your minority) in front of the cameras – especially now that he has such an awesome backdrop to work with!  

Donny: Jared, round up every black person we know, pronto, and get them together in the Roosevelt Room tomorrow morning!  In case you haven’t heard, February is Black History Month.  I’m thinking I’ll call this meeting a “listening session…” (oh yes he did!)  

 Jared: “Even Ben Carson?  Remember during yesterday’s briefing, when he started to nod off…”

 Donny: “Especially Ben Carson!  If they’re black, I want ‘em there!”

 Jared (mumbling to himself as he leaves the room): “This won’t take long…”

 OK, ready Donny?  Everyone’s seated, the lights are up, the cameras are rolling, show the love!!  “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who has done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice,” Trump told the group gathered in the stately White House room.

 Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Hold the phone and holy Jumpin’ Jack Jesus; “is an example”, “who has done”, “is being”?  Now I know Assclown is no sultan of syntax, but did he just ramble on about famous 19thcentury social reformer, statesman, and abolitionist, Frederick Douglass, like he was introducing some big, corporate buddy of his receiving a humanitarian civic award of some sort down in front of City Hall?

 And it only got funnier and more absurd from there.  The White House went on record saying Trump plans to issue an “official proclamation” recognizing Black History Month, letting all his subjects know that, “During this month, we honor the tremendous (one of Donny’s favorite words!) history of the African-Americans throughout our country, throughout the world if you really think about it, right?”  

 Throughout the world..?  OK, whatever...  First, step aside and sit down Barack Obama, you amateur orator you, there’s a new golden-tongued sheriff in town, and he may have small hands, but he obviously writes (or more likely, ad-libs) all his own material!  Second, am I wrong here, or didn’t Black History Month become officially recognized by the White House back in 1976… granted now, I may have been a little stoned back then, but I’m pretty sure that’s when February was first set aside in recognition of black history.

 But never mind me – SING IT OUT DONNY, TELL IT!  MMMmmmMMM-MMMM,MMM!  (quieter) MMMmmmMMM-MMMM,MMM (quieter)  MMMmmmMMM-MMMM,mmm … (clapping slowly becoming more sporadic and soft) - CAN I GET AN AMEN AND A HALLELUJAH BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!  

 “Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks (you know, the three famous names that any average white person with a grade school education can pull out of their ass) and millions more black Americans who made America what it is today, I’m proud to honor this heritage and will be honoring it more and more. This story’s one of unimaginable sacrifice, hard work and faith in America…”

 Whenever I hear little Donny try to wax eloquently about some historical – or hell, any topic, he humorously reminds me of a slacker high school student being called up to the front of the classroom to read aloud from his book report on “The Great Gatsby” (that he barely spent a scant half hour with the night before, flipping through every third or fourth chapter before fast forwarding to the end), speaking only in the widest of generalities:

 “Yeah, ahhh… it was about this real rich guy who lived in a big house and threw a lot of lawn parties, aaaand some other guy who starts hanging out with him, and they both kinda liked this girl… oh yeah, and there’s a car wreck in the end where I think one of the chicks die…”

But back to the show: remember now, this is a Trump production, and NO Trump production yet gets very far before veering off topic to once again praise his own greatness and popularity; hell, just listen to his opening remarks:  “Hello, everybody.  These are a lot of my friends, but you have been so helpful.  And we did so well.  The election, it came out really well.  Next time we'll triple it up or quadruple it, right?  We want to get over 51, right?  At least 51.”  Later, he disjointedly rambled on: “This is a great group. This is a group that's been so special to me. You really helped me a lot. If you remember, I wasn't going to do well with the African American community, and after they heard me speaking and talking about the inner city and lots of other things, we ended up getting -- I won't go into details, but we ended up getting substantially more than other candidates who had run in the past years. And now, we're going to take that to new levels.”  

 Acknowledging that he at least didn’t say “more than any other candidate ever!” – my, what an unusual show of verbal restraint - my favorite line here was “…and lots of other things”.  Stop Donny, enough with the details you policy wonk, I’m having a hard time following!  

 Then of course, here it comes, we quickly move on to lashing out at, and crying like a little whiny bitch about the hateful and “fake news”.  Again.  I mean who could pass up the opportunity, right?  It’s Black History Month, and he’s telling himself he’s got the perfect sinker ball! “You read all about Dr. Martin Luther King a week ago when somebody said I took the statue out of my office, and it turned out that that was fake news.  It was fake news.  The statue is cherished.  It's one of the favorite things in the -- and we have some good ones. We have Lincoln and we have Jefferson and we have Dr. Martin Luther King, and we have -- but they said the statue, the bust of Dr. Martin Luther King was taken out of the office. And it was never even touched.  So I think it was a disgrace, but that's the way the press is.  Very unfortunate.”

(Cut to scene of a now empty room where we see one of Donny’s “MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN” ball caps carelessly sitting askew atop bust of MLK)

 You know, I’m no shrink, but by now it’s clearly become obvious that unless Donny keeps reassuring himself with these “alternative realities” (his own team’s words, not mine) and gushing reaffirmations, he fears he’ll stop believing them himself.  He is the most insecure person to ever hold public office in modern day America.  He reminds me of the old SNL skit where present jr. senator/former comedian Al Franken played the character  of Stuart Smalley, who started each day looking into his mirror and saying, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!"  Except Donny has this pathological compulsion to do it in public.  

 I wouldn’t be able to spend five minutes waiting with this guy at a dentist’s office, or even a single minute sharing an elevator ride before dismissing him in my head as a clownish asshole.  In the dentist’s office I would bury my head further into my magazine and pretend either 1) I only spoke Czechoslovakian, or 2) was a mute.  On the elevator I would keep by head so rigidly forward you would think my neck was previously broken and has now been surgically fused.  

For the umpteenth time since this totally clueless, bloated, self-loving, offensive and obnoxious gasbag was let loose in the primaries, I just can’t help but ask myself yet again: “Who wrote this character out of a Rodney Dangerfield movie!?” (no offense intended Mr. Dangerfield) And even more mystifying, “who laps up this bowl of tepid dish water and sawdust and thinks it’s the best goddamb oatmeal they ever had?”  

 I’ve got nothing.

But before closing, keep in mind folks, this modern day champion of the black cause is the same privileged and racist prick who, as president of Trump Management and following in his father’s footsteps, was sued in 1973 for housing discrimination, particularly against blacks.  According to this cited piece from the NY Times published last August, “the company’s practice of turning away potential black tenants was painstakingly documented by activists and organizations that back then viewed equal housing as the next frontier in the civil rights struggle.”

 Way to go Donny, now give me a fist bump!