#I’ll eat my orange
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I split my tangerine cleanly in two even though you’re not around.
It’s ok.
I’ll swallow every segment like a whispered prayer, tasting love with every bite.
#poem#poetry#love#new poets on tumblr#thoughts#writing#art#oh god I love you#how beautiful to share an orange#shared fruit#orange#my poem#just a thought#I don’t think I can name any of these feelings but that’s ok#I’ll eat my orange#and let it heal me#both segments
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me and my urge to find poetry in my mutual’s ships
#off the top of my head#kiawren with love like nature in reminding them of their existence in ‘we’re so small compared to the planetso i’ll love you no matter what#kanaswan when it’s written in the seashells in the corals that they’re meant to be in both of their incessant need to help.#in the realisation that they both can’t help everyone. in their utmost trust and respect for each other.#‘let me be yours and i’ll love you unconditionally’#⛅️🍙 with finding each other in a low point of their lives and finding meaning again through eating together … love as survival in the way#they eat together.. it’s so ‘i love you - i want you to eat well’ it’s so orange poetry to me#arsene-blogging
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I need to start eating disordering again
#bye i feel like i got fat#k what did I eat today#chicken nuggets and cauliflower and this weird parfait thing#so I’ll allow myself one more food for today and tomorroww I’m thinking abt fasting#oh and i also ate a fucken orange today#lol#college made me fat#not fat fat but like I have more fatness on me#my stomach always sticks out at least a little bit
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long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
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Difficult to explain my food needs to ppl
“Well yes there’s a lot of things I can eat, but these foods are all completely off limits, these I could probably force myself to eat if I tried, and these are foods I absolutely 100% love- oh, what do I actually eat? The same 2 meals and 3 snacks with occasional variation.”
#it’s so so hard to eat a variety of food even tho I know that if I don’t I’ll get sick and sad#and stop eating my food bc of the lack of variety#but buying and preparing food I like and will eat is. hard.#I eat like. basically exclusively frozen pizza and one specific brand of orange chicken.#with smoothies and fruit popsicles and maybe bread or ice cream as snacks#the smoothies have leafs in them so I don’t die of scurvy#if I order food for delivery I get the exact same burrito from chipotle every time#truly I am a creature of routine#am I probably missing important vitamins? idk. maybe.#is there smth I can really do about that? no#believe me I have tried#blue chatter
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emily is my best friend. i hope she never learns how to peel oranges.
#feeling emotions abt oranges and friendships and also i want to collapse working out gives me endorphins but the 100 push-ups r NOT actually#fun. 100 sit-ups SURE but my arms r shaking ANDDD i’m at work rn .#all of these combined r the reason why i want to eat an orange rlly rlly bad but fruit time is all the way at night….we might not even have#fruit time bc guests r coming over oh naur…its okay i’ll eat a mango after lunch
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god. thinking about splatoon. thinking about how cringefail my agent three interpretation is
#maybe I’ll post about her someday but#oh my god i have so many wips from like AGES ago#like. really is the most cringefail squid ever#the whole deal being ‘oh maybe I’ll be an agent!! that would be cool!!!’#’actually maybe I signed up for a bit more than i#‘wait oh god oh fWAIT NO I’M STILL COOL I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M DOING IT’S FINE’#first agent three. i should specify#by the time splatoon 3 comes around she’s a bit more grounded but#still would bite directly into a lemon without flinching#and oranges. with the peel.#both of which being the most common things that she eats#ACTUALLY YEAH NO YOU CAN TELL HOW MUCH IM THINKING ABOUT IT THESE TAGS ARE LONG HUH#frost talks
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I wonder if it would’ve been different visiting Ottawa rather than Quebec… or if I weirdly would’ve been more prepared if I flew in and had to go through airport customs? Because driving here is so jarringly uneventful, like I basically just went through what felt like a regular toll but then everything became slightly off, including the language 😅
#I did not prepare at all for this and my anxiety just trying to find a place to eat is through the roof#is this what it’s like for europeans visiting other countries? 😂#literally everyone i talked to was like ‘don’t worry they all speak english’ and yes the people do but everything else is straight French#which I’m not saying is a problem I’m just lamenting not having prepared better#because trying to guess what that ‘zone du risqué’ orange sign was that flew by me at 60 km/hr with a weird image on it is quite stressful#it seemed important but I’ll never know what that cluster of alien looking maybe fireworks symbol means or if i did something wrong#also do they turn right on red here lmao
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fruit <33333333333
#it may be that it’s 2:20am but I am overcome with lust for fruit#I need to go to the shop this weekend anyway I think AND I wanted snacks so I could just… buy so many fruit…..#definitely pears + I already get blueberries#but I could. look for cherries. cherries are sosososososo good top tier fruit#i barely ever have cherries as cherries but I have cherry jam and I used to have cherry yogurt when I was younger that was so good#oh my god the things you can bake with cherries……#fuck#most of my friends don’t like cooked fruit but it’s one of my favourite things ever so I might just have to be super self indulgent#I’ll have like a month here after my proposal is done so that’s SO much time to bake so many different things I might start a list#I wanna make blueberry babka that’s been on the actual list for years#and cherry pie oh my god but also cherry cake#apple pie and apple+blackberry crumble are NEEDS#I rlly wanna chuck a bunch of my favourite fruits in a crumble and just see what happens like I bet blueberry and pear would go really nice#also blueberry muffins fuck I have to#I’m so sad we cut down most of our blackberry bush at home so we’ve not really had blackberries for the past two years I miss them#why does fruit have to be expensive and go mouldy so quickly I need all of it#also thinking about putting strawberries in the trinity I did it because I have them pretty often bc people buy them for ice hockey#and they’re top tier fruit to eat in fruit form and super good flavouring but I don’t like cooked strawberries or strawberry jam as much#maybe I’m misrepresenting the innocent strawberry here they’re still such a good fruit I love you strawberry maybe I’ll bake with you soon#they do go rlly good cooked down with other fruit#god help I just wanna eat fruit and bake but I’m forced to Do Things#like sleep. >:(#anyway pomegranate seeds are also incredible and I love mango and watermelon and grapes and bananas and plums and oranges and gooseberries a#<3#luke.txt
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YOU'RE PREGNANT! — JJK MEN
SYNOPSIS...how the jjk men(toji, gojo, geto, nanami, choso) act when you’re 9 months pregnant and ready to pop
INFO...jjk men x fem!reader, fluff, comfort, reader is pregnant (obvi), mention of mood swings, cravings, emotional reader, jjk men being great dads
OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated
TOJI
toji has already dealt with this kind of thing before when it came to megumi, but it’s been so long that he’s almost forgotten what it was like. You’re waddling around the house, a stank look on your face as you stare at him. “Yes?” He questions, eyebrows raised. “I want food,” you simply answer. “Okay, what do you want?” He asks. And when you tell him you’re not sure, he lets out a long sigh because he knows this is gonna end in you getting emotional. You’ll complain your back hurts, your feet hurt, and then you’ll end up cursing him out for putting a baby in you. So all he does is walks over to you, and hugs you because he’d rather do that than get into a stupid argument about food. “Toji!” You cry into his arms. “I’m just so hungry and I don’t know what to eat!” You sniffle. To help with your problem, he starts listing off every fast food restaurant and food he could think of in hopes you’d find one appealing enough. “Chinese food?” He shrugs. You gasp with excitement. “Ugh, yes! Me and the baby could go for some orange chicken!” You smile. Toji just chuckles, “making the call right now, sweetheart.” He watches as you waddle over to the couch, smiling like a kid in a candy store.
GOJO
ever since he found out you were pregnant, he was at the stores buying whatever supplies he saw, doesn’t matter if you needed it or not. And till this day, when you’re about a few weeks from popping, he’s still buying the baby things. “What do you think of this, eh?” He smirks, holding up a onesie that says “my dad is the best”. “You’re gonna spoil her rotten, is what I think,” you groan as you reach into the bag to see what else he bought for your daughter. “More toys?” You hold up a fake set of plastic keys. Gojo snatched them from you. “I’ll have you know that she will be learning life skills at a very young age, thank you very much,” he scoffed. All you did was laugh, shaking your head at him in disbelief. Your daughter’s room was filled to the brim with clothes, toys, blankets, you were starting to wonder if you had any more room. “I can already tell she’s going to be a daddy’s girl,” you said with a sigh, rubbing your belly. “Yes she is,” Gojo leaned in towards your very plump belly, “isn’t that right?” He placed a kiss on your stomach.
NANAMI
nanami is the type that doesn’t let you do a damn thing by yourself. You’re reach for something to high on the shelf, he’s sprinting towards you, ready to be at your service. “Be careful,” he says, rubbing your back. “Kento, I got it,” you chuckle. His eyes are always on you, watching your every move. Especially when you’re in public, he hates when people get too close to you. He knows others don’t watch their surroundings and could easily bump into you. “Ken!” You shout from the bedroom. “Yes?” He peeks his head around the corner. “Can you help me get my shoes on, I can’t even reach,” you pout. Within seconds he’s on his knees, slipping on your sandals, and tying them around your ankle. He will even go as far as to paint your toes if you forgot because he knows how much you hate not having them done. Like I said, he won’t let you do a thing by yourself. “Thank you, Ken,” you kiss his lips.
GETO
geto literally pampers you. I’m not saying he acts like nanami, but I’m saying that he makes your pregnancy as comfortable as possible. “Sugu, baby, can you rub my feet? They’re swollen.” You frown. “Of course.” He grabs the lotion and casually massages your feet while you’re both watching a movie, and literally over the course of your pregnancy he’s become the best masseuse ever. He’ll also randomly creep up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist before lifting your belly, feeling the weight off of your back. “Feel better, mama?” He kisses your cheek. “So much better.” You nod, closing your eyes as you embrace the moment. You’ve even found it hard to shower while being pregnant and geto takes it upon himself to help you, albeit jumping in the shower with you or sitting on the edge of the tub while you’re in the bath. “Is the water too hot?” He rubs the soapy water over your shoulders. “It’s perfect.”
CHOSO
I’m sorry but choso is clueless. Not in a bad way, but in like a panicky way. You’re an emotional wreck through your pregnancy, moods swings like crazy. “Can you just get out please?!” You’re annoyed with him, bothered about the littlest thing ever and then in the next two minutes you’re walking out the room just crying and apologizing to him, kissing his cheek. He has no idea what the hell is going on, and you’d think he’d learn after nine months, but no. All he can is just sit there and comfort you. “It’s fine,” he assures. He gets your favorite food that you’ve been craving for the past two weeks, eating it non stop and then within a split second you’re gagging, pushing the food away. “Oh my gosh, Choso! Please throw it away, it tastes so bad.” You gag again. “But…I…you were just eating this yesterday…?” He’s says, confused before throwing the bowl of food in the garbage. Quite literally doesn’t understand anything, just confused to all hell, but he’s trying his best.
#—☆classyrbf#anime#jujustu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#toji x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader#choso x reader#toji fluff#nanami fluff#geto fluff#gojo fluff#choso fluff#jjk fluff#jjk x reader fluff#toji headcanons#nanami headcanons#geto headcanons#gojo headcanons#choso headcanons#jjk headcanons
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tenderly, tragically ☆ ( prohero!katsuki x reader ) — aftermath of a huge argument, clingy and soft katsuki my entire blog’s agenda
You wake to an empty bed once again — the third time this week. It’s cold on your right; that’s a bit unfair. Does Katsuki take all the love and warmth along with him? Or it could be because it’s two AM and every trace of fatigue drained out of you at the reminder of your lone bedroom, like a cold, empty picture of a memorial.
You shuffle out of bed, ignoring how strangely unsettling it is not to have a body to crawl over just to get to the kitchen. You forgo the house slippers; you only steal Katsuki's pair anyway — and right now, he's out of the question.
The kitchen feels just as stale. No surprise there. Katsuki's absence sucked the life out of your shared apartment.
A glimpse of orange by the dining table begs for your attention. You approach carefully, stomach swooping. It’s a lunchbox, still with leftover food greasing the sides, unwashed. You know this one well enough because you bought it for him. For Katsuki. This was never here before, though.
You aren't sure how the fight started, if it was something blandly petty, or if either of you crossed an unforgivable line that tipped towards a night of screaming and shrieking that had your neighbors complaining hours after. You find that you don't have it in yourself to care anymore. This apartment, that bed — all without Katsuki is worse than any hurtful dagger of words you threw at each other.
Your fingers skim on the orange lunchbox, tracing the little ‘X’s sprinkled throughout like some off-brand copy of his hero costume, intimately familiar. Katsuki snorted when you gifted it to him — it was a really, really ugly laugh.
"Oh."
You startle and whip your head to the source, gaze landing on Katsuki, stunned and mid-way through rubbing the back of his hair with a towel.
You flinch away from the lunchbox, embarrassed. Insulting him brought him to life.
The comfort you'd been craving for the past three days materialized in the physical embodiment of the person you were supposedly angry at. It’s hard to summon even a trace of it now, not when the person you’d been aching for is standing a few feet away, just shy out of reach.
“Why are you awake?” Katsuki starts, uncharacteristically soft, gratingly rough like left unused for a while.
“Why are you here?” you ask instead. You refuse to admit outright that you couldn’t sleep without him — refuse to admit that it’s what’s been eating you up since the fight.
Katsuki frowns. “This is my place too.”
“What?” You’re not even mad. You’re just — “I thought you crashed at Kirishima’s house this entire time.”
“I’m not just gonna—” Katsuki bites his tongue, looking off to the side. He continues drying his hair, the biceps of his arm rippling. “Been sleeping on the couch. So I didn’t wake you up, or whatever.”
Well, you don’t know what to feel. Are you supposed to feel excited that Katsuki still came home even when you both unspokenly swore not to face each other? Furious that he hasn’t tried to apologize and instead snuck around the apartment like a thief on a hit-and-run in the dead of the night?
Maybe both. You might just be relieved that he didn’t hate you enough to keep himself away, even if he didn’t crawl up in the same bed.
“Right,” you say in a soft exhale. “Okay.”
Katsuki’s eyes flick up to you again warily, dangerously still. You don’t know what to say to him, so you keep quiet. Red eagerly follows as you reach for his lunchbox and pad over to the kitchen sink. As if sensing his response, you spare him a glance.
“I’ll do it,” you say. “I’ll wash this. Go change.”
You face away from the bedroom with purpose, scrubbing diligently. Soon enough, his footsteps sound across the silent apartment, fading to your bedroom. His closet is there, meaning his clothes are stacked in it, too. You wonder if he’s ever looked at you asleep and thought it looked as empty as you felt it was.
After you rinse off the suds and wipe the excess water on the towel hanging over the stove, Katsuki greets you with a sight of him resting against the bedroom door frame. How rude. You’d given him a free pass, and he’s blocking you off in return.
“Katsuki,” you mutter, walking closer.
He stares, tracing the curve of your cheek and the swell of your mouth. You missed him, too. Now that he’s here, emanating heat, the vestiges of lethargy wriggle back into the bones of your body. You long for your bed; you long to take him along with you.
“D’you wanna talk about it?” Katsuki rasps out.
“Not right now.” You shake your head. “Not really.”
“Okay,” says Katsuki softly, shifting to shuffle past you.
You latch onto his wrist, trying your best to keep his gaze. “Sleep on the bed.”
Katsuki freezes, then turns and gazes into your eyes searchingly. You hope you can convey well enough that you hate him for fueling your bubbling fury, for sharing the heated remarks; most of all, you hate him for leaving.
“Okay,” Katsuki says again. “Okay, yeah. Let’s go to bed.”
Somehow, you end up on the bed with Katsuki’s arms caged around you from behind. His breaths hot against the nape of your neck, your body warmed head to toe. He has one leg in between your thighs, pulling you closer, and closer, until you can almost cry from how good it feels to be back here. You’ve given him an inch and knew he would take a mile.
“I don’t like when we fight,” Katsuki grumbles, sounding half-asleep.
“Mm.”
“So let’s just forget about it.”
“Is that healthy?”
“Dunno. Don’t care.” Katsuki’s mouth hovers over your neck, teeth marks a threat. “What’s unhealthy are the bags under my fuckin’ eyes.”
You laugh, breathy, and a violent shudder courses through Katsuki. You turn to your side to meet Katsuki’s little scowl, a pout. For every villain and civilian’s worst nightmare, he’s really charming.
“Are you only trying to make it up to me so you don’t have to take up the couch?”
Katsuki would usually fire back with a snark, but this time, you get to watch as his eyes soften and his shoulders lose their tension. He hides it away with a large hand on your face in the guise of tousling your hair.
“No,” he murmurs, “can’t sleep without you.”
Your eyes slip shut, giddy like it’s your first date. “Then I guess our feelings are still mutual.”
#ᥫ᭡ dekuneho#&katsuki#bnha x reader#mha x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bnha
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Spent all day doing laundry and it smells SO BAD I’m gonna kms.
#I genuinely don’t remember what it’s like to have nice smelling fresh clothes every time I wash mine they are disgusting#and the drier doesn’t work and it’s so cold and wet in this apartment we’re gonna get fucking mould#but I can’t open the window bc the moths will come in bc it’s late enough in the year for it to be dark but not to kill bugs#so maybe I’ll just kms. what then.#I miss having warm dry nice smelling laundry so much I fucking hate renting I hate being poor I hate my life#rambles#burning candles and eating oranges as if that helps the actual situation#actually gonna try ironing them
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father charlie asking you to call him father during sex is making me tweak
cw: 18+ mdni, fem reader, pussy EATING, let him be a little more openly crazy in this one, trope typical dub con and corruption kink but you're just as crazy so you think that you're doing the same thing to him, bible verses as dirty talk, inaccurate religious practices, religious slut shaming/degradation (?)
Your thighs are already shaking and he’s only kissing up your inner thighs, so cute, so sweet. “That’s it, little lamb, lie back for me.”
Your skirt is pushed up to pool around your hips, the wood of the pew you’re sitting on leaving an already uncomfortable ache in your hips.
Father Charlie kneels in front of you, right out in the middle of the open. Sure, it’s after hours and no one is on the premises but the two of you, but God is still here. Isn’t he? Watching in judgment as the man meant to be your spiritual leader sups at the fountain of your cunt.
He smiles when you start squirming and immediately slaps the inside of your thigh, harsh but genuine in its tough love, “Ah ah ah. I thought I told you to lie back and take your Father’s tongue in your pussy like a good girl.”
The candle’s flames flicker as you pant and stare down at him, he looks so handsome in the soft orange glow, like an angel. But isn’t it the demons who sneak down to earth and seduce unsuspecting whorish women into damnation? Father Charlie could never be a demon in your eyes though, and he knows this more than he knows every verse of the good word by heart.
He could desecrate you with a nail gun and you’d bend over and spread your legs, bleeding out on the beige carpet. But you’re his special girl, his darling wife to be and you know better than to do anything that would force his heavy hand.
“I-I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again.” You plead, the thought of losing his favor for even a second causes you genuine distress, "Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account.”
“I-i’m so sorry, who?” He mocks, pitching his voice higher and spitting on your clit. “I won’t do it again, who?”
“F-father. I’m so sorry, Father. I’ll be listen you, I swear.”
“You’re going to be a good girl for me anyway, like a real child of God should.”
Your soft sighs turn into even softer moans when he redoubles his efforts and leans forward to kiss your throbbing clit. A crucifix that tastes as electrifying as a star, he moans as your natural musk invades his senses. He’s so happy you’re on an off shaving day too, there’s just enough hair peeking through for some to come off on his tongue with every swipe.
Father Charlie moans into your puffy pussy, speaking in tongues into your folds and sliding his tongue in your sopping hole. He smacks his lips together when he pulls back to breathe, smiling up at you and licking away the sticky string of you that clings to his mouth.
“Maybe I should have this cunt for communion, draft my sermons laying in between your thighs. You should’ve never taken this job, little lamb. Now even God himself couldn’t keep us apart.”
A flash of light, and his nose bleeds onto your pubes. Then the vision’s gone, and Father Charlie’s burying himself back into the heaven that is your sloppy pussy.
You run your fingers through his hair in a frenzy, but you obediently sink into the shooting pain in your pelvis as you slump into the pew.
Father Charlie’s eyes glint like rubies as he eats you like a starving man, your water turning into wine as you flood his taste buds with your juices. His knees strain in the confines of his dark slacks, digging into the church floor, but his precious lamb is worth every twinge of pain. They’d be added bonuses, anyway. He hums a few lines of a hymn, the melodic vibrations give you tingles.
You squirt minutes later when you lock eyes and he nips at your clit, fantasizing about chewing it into a heart. He chastely pecks the bud through your orgasm and into overstimulation, which is always his goal. Father Charlie’s favorite game is to make you come for every sin you confess to in your last confessional.
“You’ve been eating what I’ve recommended, good, you’re fattening up really nicely, dear.” He comments with a quick squeeze to your mound, laughing at your exhaustion.
One down, six to go. You’re blessed with a guilty conscience.
“Go in peace.”
#LUCY THE PICTURE SKLJDKJHKSHKHDK#father charlie mayhew#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez#father charlie mayhew x reader#charlie mayhew#father charlie mayhew smut#nicholas alexander chavez smut#nicholas chavez smut#charlie mayhew smut#charlie mayhew x reader#grotesquerie#grotesquerie x reader#grotesquerie smut#nicholas alexander chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x reader#dead dove do not eat#⚰️.deaddove#yandere smut#tw yandere#🎧.asks#divider by anitalenia
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You and Simon had spent the better part of the morning indulging in the decadent breakfast you had prepared as the sun rose over the horizon.
He pleaded for you to stay in bed and not fuss about making him breakfast. He’d get you those bagels you loved from the shop down the road and some fresh cream cheese from the dairy to slap on top.
You leaned closer, placing a smack of a kiss on his cheek. “You deserve it, hon,” you smiled, slipping on your cozy slippers and one of Simon’s hoodies, happily making your way into the kitchen. He couldn’t help but sink into the mattress. How did he manage to find you? A divine blessing you were.
You thought you overdid it with all the food you made. Crepes, waffles, bacon, sausage, eggs, all to be washed down with some fresh-pressed juice from your orange trees—far too much for just the two of you. But Simon would be damned if he left even one piece of the crispy bacon uneaten.
“Good?” you asked with a smile, fiddling with a waffle on your plate as you watched Simon demolish his food.
“Damn good, baby. Got me such a pretty chef,” he muttered, biting some egg. You flashed him a smile, tipping your head towards him as you reached for the syrup, filling every hole on your waffle.
A comfortable silence fell over both of you. The occasional ‘clank’ of silverware and the soft hum of the heater kicking on were the only noises to be heard. The doorbell sharply rang, echoing off the walls of the hallway and bleeding into the kitchen.
You sat your fork down, easing your way up before Simon shooed you back down and placed your fork back in your hand. “Eat,” he mutters as he walks to the front door.
Simon swings open the front door to be met by the postman, who is staggering with excitement as he hands Simon a loose envelope. The postman tips his head slightly, viewing you inside, standing, and placing more bacon on Simon’s plate. Simon’s hoodie hit just below the curve of your ass, and as you moved, it shifted a little higher, giving him a view of your panties.
“I suggest you stop making looks at my wife, or I’ll do more than just kill that pretty pension check,” Simon says, ripping the envelope from the postman’s hand. The guy's eyes flick to Simon’s in record time, full of worry.
“I don’t know what—” he starts, his tone defensive.
“You think I’m an idiot?“ Simon stoically says, crossing his big arms over his chest. “Huh?”
“No—I, I,” The post guy stutters.
Simon raises a brow. “Can’t speak now?” The post guy says something incoherent, and Simon breathes impatiently.
“Use your fuckin’ words,” Simon hurriedly says.
“I—I you know what, I, I, I’m gonna go,” the post guy stammers, almost falling over the porch's front steps, flalling to his mail truck, but not before shouting, “The next shipping is on me.” You bet your ass it is.
Simon clenches his teeth as he closes the door, turning to see you standing behind him. “Baby, I think you scared him,” you laugh out. Simon reaches out, grasping your hand and pulling you closer. You yelp as Simon pulls you flush with his body, placing a kiss on the top of your head.
“Fuckin’ animal, that one,” he mutters into your hair.
Simon never really believed in coincidences. His brain was too methodical—calculated. It was something you learned from your long history together.
So, it was odd to hear him say to the police that it must have been a coincidence that the same day he gets into a scrabble with the postman, he goes missing and is then found dead in a lake with bruises covering his body.
It was definitely a coincidence.
a/n: your honor my client didn't commit that crime! just trust me!
#˚ʚ♡ɞ˚: rylea writes#shorty fic while i work on my long one!#call of duty#cod#cod x reader#fanfic#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod#ghost call of duty#cod x you#cod fanfic#simon riley imagine#simon riley cod#simon riley call of duty#simon ghost x reader#ghost simon riley#simon riley fanfic#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost riley#cod ghost#ghost x reader#ghost cod x reader#cod modern warfare#call of duty x reader#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fanfiction#call of duty ghost
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i remembered that u don’t have to have liquor to mix juices together & felt like that 1 scene in it’s always sunny 😭😭
youtube
#stream#ALSJALSKALSKALKSLAKSLA#like ‘oh u can put lemon & lime juice IN orange juice WITHOIT alcohol ? at 11am ? wow !#look at me having a virgin juice for ONCE#mixed juice i should say bc i drink orange juice regularly like that’s my Calories Juice#AKSALSKALKSALKSLAKSLA like if i’m abt to go on a walk & i NEED to eat something i’ll just have some orange juice bc i KNOW that if i eat#something like FOOD i WILL vomit 😭😭😭 it’s TOO DAMN HOT for FOOD PRE-EXERCISE#Youtube
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the orange peel theory * fem!driver
how many men in her life would stop to peel an orange for her if she asks randomly?
pairings: f1 grid x fem!driver
warnings: -
notes: juSt a random idea i got when i dreadfully peeled oranges for myself ugh i hate being single sometimes
guys this is the last vr update today i swear i’ve got too much times on my hands actually
(series masterlist) | (📂 the rookie season)
-> max verstappen, #1
would be in the middle of an interview after quali when she comes up to him with a mandarin orange in hand
max stops mid sentence to look down at her in confusion but will take the orange into his hands as she asks him to peel it for her politely
he would cover the mic and whisper “can this wait? i’m in the middle of something” and she shows him her hands, perfectly manicured white nails with a frown and says “i’ll stain my nails”
and he just does it, peeling the orange as he carries on with the interview after she walks away without him knowing
when he finishes, he turns to give it to her but she’s no longer there and ends up eating the orange during his interview lol
-> logan sargeant, #2
he’d be sitting in his garage minding his own business when she comes and sits next to him with a bag of mandarin oranges in hand
he doesn’t even need to be told
he immediately reaches out and starts peeling the oranges for her, even tearing away the white strands because he knows she hates those
totally nothing to do with the fact that he’s had a crush on her forever
everything to do with the fact that they grew up together and he’s too lazy to fight
-> daniel ricciardo, #3
he’s literally just walked into the paddocks for race day
he feels all cool with all the cameras
suddenly she runs over to him with an orange in her hands and a hopeful smile
“peel this for me please?”
he does it without question
he walks the paddocks with her while peeling her orange and even sparks up conversation with her
-> lando norris, #4
literally walks away when he sees her approaching him with an orange
she’s been doing it all weekend and he refuses to be a victim
also because he’s not that fond of peeling oranges
or oranges, for that matter
she tries chasing after him but when she finally catches up, he simply ignores the request to peel the orange for her
-> pierre gasly, #10
he’ll be literally walking over to the grid for the driver’s parade
looking pretty cool in his cool fits
an orange is presented to him without question
he grins at her and thanks her for the orange
walks away and eats the orange himself
-> sergio perez, #11
would also be in the middle of an interview when she comes up with an orange
would peel it because he’s a mega dad and he’s really taken a liking to her
excuses himself from the interview to do it for her real quick
would take one piece of the orange for himself
claims it’s the taxes for making him do it instead of doing it herself
-> fernando alonso, #14
takes the orange without her saying anything
he’s always seen with seb on race weekends and is very used to her antics
literally gives her the orange peel and one piece of orange
eats the orange without her saying anything
she’s in damn near tears because she really expected fernando to peel it for her without question
-> charles lerclerc, #16
is sad that she didn’t bring him an orange too
still peels it for her though
even though he was in the middle of some paddock game with carlos
asks for a piece and because she loves him and her crush is still very much present, she simply gives him the whole orange
-> lance stroll, #18
he’d have been coming out of his racing home minding his own business
they don’t interact often because she scares him
is almost scared to say no to the orange peeling and actually says no
mutters “i always knew you hated me” as she walks away
which then makes him chase her to peel the orange for her and apologise profusely
because lance and her literally never talk and it took up all her courage to approach him with this orange, she gives him half of the orange
-> kevin magnussen, #20
asks her if she's got an extra orange for his baby girl
she literally came prepared and gives one to cute baby laura
so now kevin has to peel two oranges for two babies
outrageous, if u ask him
-> nyck de vries, #21
has unfortunately departed by the time she decided to be a menace about the orange peel theory
she thinks about him often though
they're texting buddies actually
-> yuki tsunoda, #22
literally came prepared
he's got a packet of candy he bought when he flew back to japan for a visit
she gives him the whole orange
she literally peels the orange for him in exchange for the candy
-> alex albon, #23
was literally walking to the grid for the opening ceremony of the race weekend
says no immediately
but he does change his mind and asks if he can have half if he peels it for her
peels it and takes more than half of the share
-> zhou guanyu, #24
is delighted to even see her because they don't come across one another often
is kinda touched that she asked him to peel an orange but then is disappointed to find out that he's not the first victim and that this is all a tiktok trend for her
peels it anyway
asks her to bring an extra orange if there's a next time as payment
-> niko hulkenberg, #27
she literally cannot find him
doesn't get to participate in the trend
she only saw him once that weekend and it was at the opening ceremony and she only had 1 orange for alex to peel
and on the grid in his race car
-> esteban ocon, #31
absolutely ADORES her
peels it without question
peeks around her shoulder to ask if she's brought another one for him
she says yes and that he's the only one who gets one for himself because she loves him back
-> lewis hamilton, #44
this psycho literally approaches lewis when he's on an interview panel
but that's because he asked her to do it at that time so he has a excuse to escape the panel
he's just so tired of the panel interviews
giggling with her like demons as he peels the orange
-> carlos sainz, #55
peels it for her without question
the only one to ask her why she's got so many oranges to eat and hand out
also the only one to ask her if oranges have been the only thing she's eaten all weekend
inhumanly impossible to eat this many oranges in one weekend perhaps
-> george russell, #63
is literally tearing up because she came to him to ask to peel the orange
he heard from alex what she's been doing
he's been waiting all weekend for her and was sad that it seemed like she had no intentions on letting him participate in her tiktok
she feels so bad for him that she joins him in peeling an orange as well
-> valtteri bottas, #77
is confused because he's just minding his own business using his phone during the driver's briefing
peels the orange for her anyway
asks if oranges are her favourite fruit
suggests eating something less acidic to avoid a tummyache
-> oscar piastri, #81
if anyone's tired of her being a menace with all these oranges, it's going to be him
but because he knows she'll pick a fight if he says no
he will peel the orange reluctantly
takes a picture with the orange because it's the same shade as the mclaren shirt he is wearing
— bonus
-> liam lawson, #30
asks her to fuck off
only ask him to peel an orange when she's lost all the ability to peel one for herself
asks her if he can have one from her orange stash
she says no in tears because he cussed at her
shrugs and walks away
-> sebastian vettel, #5
this clinically insane woman has got this 4 time world champion peeling oranges on the pit wall during qualifying
has him throw her a peeled orange in between laps during qualifying
eats it in the car for a racing 'buff' before she drives out for a lap
she's got too many oranges so he helps her eat some of them
eating oranges = beating mclaren = beating oscar because they're all the same colour and have a correlation obviously
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