#I’ll drag out her time as main for as long as possible

[fruityfroggy]

Love how ONE of my characters is just way more built than everyone else cuz I’m coping so so hard it’s not even funny

I’m not ready to let her go just yet, so hard copium it is

Jiu IS NOT REPLACING YOU POOKIE!!! YOU TWO CAN WORK TOGETHER CUZ I SAID SO

[ozzgin]

Santa baby are you really there?!

*hears a voice in my backyard*

FUCK SKIN WALKER

- you make Yan skinwalker i’ll do anything to get a skin walker to love me … yes I am 100% mentally stable

I'm not sure if you had something horror-esque in mind, because my immediate idea was Reader accidentally getting cursed and continuing her life completely unaware with a ""dog"" everyone is freaked out by, but she finds it cute. So more like dark comedy vibes. You be the judge. :D

Disclaimer: I have changed the name to Shapeshifter as to not delve into potentially offensive takes on native folklore. Thank you for informing my European ass.

Yandere!Monster x Reader [Shapeshifter]

On your last hiking trip, you've stumbled upon a helpless, lost dog. Or rather, it stalked you down to your cabin and spent the night in front of your window. You didn't have the heart to abandon the poor soul and so you brought it home with you. Strange things have been happening ever since and no one knows how to tell you that the monstrous coyote-like creature might be to blame. You're oblivious to everything.

Content: female reader, dark comedy, monster romance, reader is cursed and proud

It wasn't your intention to return home with a new pet. Some might say it was written in the stars, this fateful encounter of yours. You had finished packing your supplies for a day-long hike, vehemently refusing to join your group of friends that would be guided around by a native. They’d warned you many areas of the mountainous forest were supposedly cursed or haunted, so you just scribbled the limits on your makeshift map and promised to stay on the main trails. After all, this was your chance to commune with nature. As the sun begun to set, you wondered if going by yourself was indeed a smart idea, given your lack of spatial awareness and difficulty to navigate maps. You flipped the piece of paper several times, deep in contemplation. Could it be that you’ve reached the forbidden lands? You quickly surveyed the area: based on the stuffed rag dolls hanging from old branches, and the animal skulls arranged in patterns among patches of burnt grass, it was very much a possibility. Perhaps the improvised slab that said “Stay away” in dripping crimson letters should’ve been enough of a warning, but you assumed they’d just been creative with trail markers.

You didn’t have the time to panic. Just as you were furrowing your eyebrows in a final attempt to decipher the map (at the time upside-down), your ears picked up a faint shuffle of leaves. Further away stood a dog, its glossy eyes fixated on your form. A lost puppy? It seemed to be on the larger side, but then again some breeds grow rather fast. You lowered yourself and patted your knees, whispering diminutives in an effort to call the animal over. It remained in place, staring quietly. Alright, then. You focused on finding your way back instead. Every now and then you'd turn back and see the dog, motionlessly eyeing you at a constant distance. Oh, dear. Was it lost? Frightening affair.

Back at the cabin you told the others about your discovery, with a hint of worry in your voice. You hoped the little pup had found proper shelter. You'd expected a similar reaction coming from your friends, but one of them suggested: "What if it was some shapeshifting monster? There's many legends and stories from the area." Everyone laughed and you joined hesitantly, mildly annoyed by the lack of empathy. That night you barely slept, twisting and turning under the heavy feeling of being watched. You woke up tired and nervous, dragging your feet towards the window for some fresh air. That's when you saw the same forest creature, fully awake and tall in its glory, positioned before your room. This was no coincidence. You had been plagued by the guilt of abandoning a vulnerable quadruped and you weren't about to continue as a passive observer. You strode out without a word and lifted the large dog with a huff, carrying it back in to figure out the transport logistics.

Thus started the unexpected companionship. To you, it's a lovely tale of two lost souls finding one another. Most people seem to disagree. Can you blame them? The rescued puppy you often speak of is, in the eyes of everyone else, a monstrous beast by all definitions. It resembles a coyote more than a dog, but even this description is too gentle. The fur is always raised threateningly and the protruding clusters of fangs remind one of the anatomical anomalies displayed in museums. The eyes, oh, the worst of all perhaps, bottomless depths that pull you in until you run out of air. The creature stares with the all-knowing gaze of a human. "Don't be rude", you snap at whoever dares to point these details out. "It must be a mixed breed or something."

Their persistence is truly ridiculous. You've even had guests run out in panic, claiming the dog stood on its back legs and whispered in a language unknown. Or that its shadow would morph into a grotesque man with claws and crooked antlers. Or that they've found it hunched over your sleeping form, its spine twisted outwards with jagged peaks breaking through the wild fur. Rubbish, all of it.

Strange things have been happening, no doubt, but your adopted fur-child has no blame to carry. You've been trying to distract yourself, going on dates and occasionally bringing potential suitors over. They all vanish overnight, nonchalantly leaving an empty, ruffled bed for you to wake up to. "Am I just unlucky?" You sigh, running your fingers through the coarse fur of your dog. It lowers itself under your touch, visibly enjoying the affection. For a split second, it glances out the window. By the time you come out of your depressed slump, the birds should've finished feeding on the remains. He made sure to tear and grind everything fine enough to not leave any marks behind.

That's how curses work, after all. He didn't expect, however, that you'd be utterly unaware of it. He has to give you the credit, not many people become stalked by an ancient curse and continue their life in blissful ignorance. Even more, for them to just casually pick up the haunting entity and bring it inside their home willingly...You're, uh, certainly a special one. Hence the change of plans. He was supposed to torment you into an early grave, but he's grown rather attached to your bizarre antics. And you do provide some damn good chin scratches. He's therefore satisfied with causing anguish and destruction to anything and anyone in your immediate vicinity instead. Since you've been complaining about the resulting isolation...

You wake up with a gasp, wiping your drenched forehead and checking the sheets. The dog is curled next to you, although its head is now tilted in your direction. "O-oh. It might be the loneliness talking...but I had the strangest dream." How troubling and embarrassing. Your beloved pet had turned into a deformed, monstrous man instead, pinning you down and hungrily grazing your skin with his sharp teeth. Your fearful protests eventually turned into shameless moans, your frail body at the mercy of the mysterious beast. It unfolded so vividly that your core feels sore. You stretch a sheepish hand towards your pet and abruptly stop halfway, noticing the marks diffused into your wrist, like violet smudges of watercolor. What the hell did you do last night?

The dog buries its head under the sheets and nuzzles its snout into your soft flesh. Heh. How many more disappearing guests will be needed for you to figure out your situation? He does find your obliviousness terribly amusing, as well as your willingness to clutch onto him despite his unsightly appearance. He was feeling particularly cheeky and thought of giving you a little scare, only to be once again taken aback by your neediness. He has to wonder who exactly is trapped in this situation, because your reactions to everything he does are frighteningly tempting. Maybe tonight he'll finally let you know, just as you're about to come undone beneath his heaving body. Something like, hmmm. "By the way, love, this isn't a dream." He could even add a little "woof" to tease you more.

[essycogany]

Rare But Not So Rare Sonic Moments

Sonic Swooning Over Amy

So, Sonic’s been kind of the driving force of Sonamy recently. Let’s analyze that.

I’ll show Sonic having feelings for Amy in almost every media aside from Fleetway and the two cartoons she isn’t in. I’ll also present the “whys” in more detail then just “Amy calmed down.” While that’s part of it, I’d like to add my own can of worms. And possible headcanons too. Bear in mind I never grew up with Sonic, so forgive my mixed opinions.

While I love Amy having a crush on Sonic like the energetic sugarplum she is, nowadays Sonic’s oddly been the drive of their dynamic. Any examples of it beforehand? Let’s look outside of the games first.

Sonic X

This Sonic takes more time to himself. He’s introverted, so his feelings for her isn’t displayed as obviously as the others. In fact, most people think he didn’t like her in this show because of how much he runs away. He even manipulated her by flirting in one episode. In my opinion this show has Sonic running away from Amy more often than not. Hot take: Sonic and Amy never had a real conversation either. They don’t…talk like they do now. Unless you count,

“Oh, Sonic I love you!” “Ah! C’mon, Amy. Knock it off!” No, it wasn’t constant but still common.

From my point of view, the conversations were short lived to none existent. It was the same in the earlier games too. Compared to how they talked to other characters or now, you might be able to notice. At least until Sonic And The Black Night were he talks to both The Lady Of The Lake and Amy. The two would also have visual gags of Sonic getting aggressively hugged by Amy. Or Amy falling on her face while trying. Aside from one moment in Sonic Riders where Sonic put Amy in danger, it wasn’t good or bad. Just cartoony for lack of a better term.

Maybe I’m just insane. You decided.

Anyhow, their dynamic in X is clearly built on actions. Like Amy giving Sonic a seashell bracelet and Sonic giving her a rose. Those little things. While I do prefer them being able to hold longer conversations, I don’t mind how X handles them. But let’s get to Sonic’s crush. I assume in Sonic X Sonic is conflicted. He’ll run away from Amy or try to pull from her on most occasions and others Sonic would constantly hold onto her when he doesn’t have to. For a long period on time no less. Amy’s the same way. One moment she’d be head over heels and other she’s bashful. Goes to show how young they were I guess. I have no clue as to why Sonic liked her back because there wasn’t much to go off of. Except the bracelet moment or her general kindness like feeding him one time. She was a bit much to him and most characters back then.

It’s possible Sonic just liked her and that was it, but I’d imagine due to all of the hand holding and small reciprocated gestures were enough to convey something was there. Straight forward and simple like the show itself. I headcanon this Sonamy being where the boyfriend gets dragged into a relationship and is fine with it. This version of Sonic’s attraction seems to be chaotic pink hedgehogs apparently.

Sonic Boom

Should I even explain it? Might as well because not only do I have something different to say, but these two haven’t been brought up much. Sonic and Amy’s romance mostly is played for laughs. Not saying their love for each other means less because of that, but the humor is the main reason they exist. Much like why in the main canon they started out the way they did. Regardless, I’ll dive deeper into Boom!Sonic’s affection for Amy to the best of my ability.

Boom!Sonic is egotistical, so whenever he thinks Amy’s crushing on someone else, it bothers him. Apparently he’s the only one she’s allowed to like. No “Radical Speedsters” or “Celebrities” can take her attention away from him. Like in Sonic X he tries to keep his crush to a minimum. Even though both him and Amy are terrible at it.

The moment in “Fortress Of Squalitude” a episode where everyone is a bit rude to Amy, close to the end Sonic says, “We may have a hard time saying it Amy. But…well you know.” Then she responds with, “Yeah, I know.” It’s such a sweet moment. Not as powerful as most moments with them but for Boom it’s very nice. Sonic and the others still value her as part of the team, but it’s Sonic who expresses it out loud. Goes to show how much he cares about her for even attempting to open up in this instance. Didn’t even have to finish the sentence. Amy understood perfectly. I also noticed how much he tries his best to impress her. When he needs to returned her book back, finds her hammer in Archie, (Vector did it in the show and Sonic got jealous) shows off randomly or dreams about her, and stopped racing to get her some eggs in one episode.

The funny thing about this Sonic is how much of a people pleaser he can be. Especially since the towns people are very spoiled and ungrateful. He wants to be needed and that’s possibly why he goes out of his way to do special things for Amy like go out on picnics, implied dates, and comforts her. She’s very take charge in Boom and Sonic has no problem calling her out when he needs to. Much like Amy in the show and games. Sonic will even put effort into doing things he doesn’t feel like doing for her. How honorable of him. Sure, sometimes he tries to make her jealous and isn’t perfect, but he tries. I believe Sonic likes Amy because again like Sonic X Boom isn’t canon, so more outright reciprocated feelings are allowed in this case. Not to mention the dude likes being shipped with her in the show. Which is a win in my book.

Sonic enjoys bugging Amy much like a playful boyfriend. He probably admires her leadership, but I’m saying this by observation. It could be for anything. Maybe he thinks she’s cute when she’s mad and finds her temper amusing. It could also be for her stubbornness. Some people like each other because of how much they can relate to their partner and in Sonic Boom’s case they’re two cuts of the same cloth. Although still different, due to the show’s theme, they carry the same condescending, slightly self centered, hotheaded, stubborn, and humorous traits. But they’re still good hedgehogs with a heart of gold and usually makes reasonable decisions. Not to mention they’re both equally shy about their crushes. In Sonic Boom, Sonic and Amy is that married couple who doesn’t get along much, but when they do you’ll understand why they stay together.

Reboot Archie Sonic

I haven’t read the comics (unless you count watching a few dubs and internet reviews) but I’ll give my limited thoughts. Luckily there’s not much to say. Although most people believe it was unintentional, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch that someone from Archie thought it was a fun idea to have Sonic crush on somone in this reboot. Maybe it’s unintentional but it doesn’t seem that way.

I’m basically using this part of the post to ramble about how Reboot Archie’s Sonic still manages to be a casanova. He’s like a mixture of his old self and how he is in the games. That’s also why he acts the way he does around Amy. Could it also possibly mean he’s meant to like her canonically too? Reboot Archie did have to follow a more accurate way of writing Sonic after all. Anyways, let’s run down the list of Game!Sonic if he was allowed to be down bad for Amy like they’re already dating. Which is how I view this continuity. It’s basically if Boom and X had a weird fusion and this version of Sonic’s crush was the result. Except here he manages to be more bold and upfront. He knows what he’s doing. Here’s a run down.

First of all, THIS. No joke, more of these interactions would send me to the moon. I would explain why but the panel speaks for itself.

Sonic says, “I was worried about you.” Which he hasn’t admitted to her before this to my knowledge. He states this by giving her a side hug. Along with other out of nowhere physical affection and flirting. Not to single out Sonally fans. Sonic and Sally clearly have a close connection people appreciate and I respect that. In any case, Sonic and Amy in Reboot Archie also matches energies so much. They’re both clearly running off the same brain cell. You’d think they were together. They’d be a chaotic couple that’ll do the most outlandish things and somehow manage to survive them. After willfully risking their lives they’d do it again because being normal and safe is boring. I promise you, this version of Sonamy would be a huge force to be reckoned with.

-I’d also like to mention my friend Salty showed an example of Sonic being jealous of Knuckles coming with Amy on a mission and it’s brilliant. Dude gets all bratty about it too. Archie!Sonic does not play around. The post in question.

Sonic Prime

Already talked about this in another post, but I want to mention it again. Prime!Sonic is the most sensitive version of the character, so it’s no surprise he displays his admiration for Amy freely and out loud.

This moment says enough on its own. Sonic’s like this throughout the entirety of Prime and even changes the tone of his voice when speaking to or about her. It’s so authentic and adorable and makes him stand out against other variants.

Amy’s crush on Sonic in Prime is up to interpretation, but I don’t think she likes him in that way personally. Like other characters, Amy tends to be done with Sonic’s childishness. Guess she thinks he’s probably too immature to be boyfriend material whether she has feelings or not. Sonic on the other hand, acts how you wouldn’t expect. I personally see him as his own interpretation, so I’m fine with it. If he wants to have goo-goo eyes for Amy in Prime, it’s cool.

Prime!Sonic has it bad and I wouldn’t be shocked if he’d be the one wanting to go out on dates. Maybe he’d cook dinner for her sense he cooks in the show. I’d imagine Amy declining at first, but does it after his constant begging. They’d be swapped version of most emotional to least emotional. Prime!Amy would be a girlfriend who feels more like a parent than a partner.

Unleashed/Black Night

No one can bring up Sonic Unleashed without the lovely Amy meeting the Werehog scene. I love how Sonic didn’t like Amy hugging him, but right after she left he solemnly mopes around for probably the first and last time. He’s never in any game slowly moped around disappointedly before. Proving he only has certain reactions when it comes to Amy Rose. At least in some continuities. Unleashed gives you a choice to go on a date with Amy or not. Then the next game Sonic Team followed through with it, but ended up having Amy mad at Sonic for missing it. At least Sonic tried. Not to mention his reaction to The Lady Of The Lake and him flirting is fun to watch.

See how Sonic still likes her back but it isn’t because she’s “calmed down?” She’s still the same excitable love strucked Amy. There must be something more to it. Other than the obvious answer with Sonic Team wanting to do something with the pear. I have no idea why but having multiple hints even in the past must’ve been done for the fun of it. “We created this love interest but then railed back to Sonic not reciprocating her feeling. But we still want to market them as a couple in some way.” This franchise never cease to confuse me.

Amy encouraging Sonic in one of the cutscenes could’ve been where he started liking her back. Not in the way he does now, but he admired her none stop compassion and might’ve wanted to return the favor. “Eh, she’s sweet. Maybe a date won’t be so bad.” The fact he went out of his way to get her a chilidog and flirted with a different version of her should tell you enough. Of course it would take a while before anything else happened. 

IDW/Sonic Frontiers

Yeah, after issue 2, Sonic’s never felt the need to run from Amy. From the comics to Sonic Frontiers there’s a lot of moments of Sonic being somewhat emotionally candid. Not by much, but close. I believe Amy’s the reason for that in a way. Sonic’s not afraid to hang out with her anymore. He even hugs her back on some occasions. “Ames” was a nickname from fanfics and Boom which became canon over time and he occasionally calls her that.

Sonic wishes to share an umbrella and spend more time with her. He also gets excited to see her more often. It’s like Reboot Archie but slightly toned down. At least up until the hard to trigger lines from Sonic Frontiers. The same game where he outright admits to being worried about Amy and smiles back at her with a Coco looking between the two. Then he supports Amy’s decision to leave etc. We all know where we are now.

Crazy how the more you look into this franchise the more tiny details you notice. It’s also crazy how much Sonic’s been into the love interest he originally was already supposed to love. To me, Sonic had a crush on Amy in Unleashed but fell in love with her in IDW. What makes Sonamy gripping though is how unique it is compared to most romantic relationships. Leaves it to be more entertaining whenever something unexpected happenes. It keeps you engaged.

Why Sonic Crushes On Amy?

1. Amy doesn’t want to slow him down. Obviously because of IDW issue 2’s love confession with Amy saying “I can’t change you. I don’t want to change you.” Amy joins Sonic and he includes her more often because of that. His speed is no match for her persistence anyways.

2. She shows compassion and love for those around her. Not just to Sonic, but everyone. She’s the definition of soft hearted. Even for people Sonic and his friends would be weary about. Think about now in the recent comics and games where Sonic’s trying it out. I do think it should be more of Amy’s thing then Sonic’s but it just goes to show how much she probably inspired him. Who knows? Even in the past he had respect Amy for her tenderheartedness.

3. Amy’s energy matches Sonic’s. Though sometimes she can be overly enthusiastic compared to him. Even before now, Amy’s always been adventurous and that’s probably something Sonic liked from the start. Not in a romantic way, but in a respectful way. If he were to have a partner he’d need someone to keep him grounded and be on the same level. No exceptions.

4. Her loyalty. No matter what Sonic does (including times she disagrees) she’s one of Sonic’s most loyalist companions. Obviously other characters are too, but Amy has her being a long time childhood friend/Sonic 06 and Unleashed going for her. 06 for trusting Sonic over Silver and Unleashed for still loving Sonic despite his transformation. Heck, before she knew who the Werehog was she wasn’t disgusted. Amy’s commendable for that.

From all these points here physical attraction isn’t included. What I like about both characters is their crushes don’t stem to how they look. Though it is worth mentioning Sonic has called Amy “Radiant” in TMOSTH, but that’s probably the closest we’ll ever get to an outright physical compliment. From Sonic at least.

- Side note thanks to @saltynsassy31 again, Sonic and Amy’s dynamic can be summed up as not a relationship but rather a situationship. Yes, it’s a real word. What does it mean? Basically two friends who has crushes on each other but doesn’t do anything about it. Just a fun detail for you guys.

Why Did Sonic Run From Amy In The Past?

I’ll make this quick, but the reason Sonic ran from Amy wasn’t because he didn’t like her. On the contrary. Sonic always could’ve ran at his normal speed to get away from her. Sonic’s the fastest thing alive. Why would he let someone he “didn’t like” catch up to him? I personally think he enjoyed the thrill of the chase. It’s why I believe he misses it nowadays. Though I do understand Sonic didn’t often treat Amy like a friend. Not in a way I can understand at least. Not that I think their relationship was bad, but from what I’ve seen, it was more told then shown due to Sonic and the gang not including her on missions. Amy normally had to catch up with them which was a running gag. Especially in SA2. It might be why some prefere her in stuff like Reboot Archie, Boom, IDW, and Frontiers. Because Amy’s friends includes her on adventures now. At least in my opinion. Correct me if I missed anything.

Final Headcanon

Since Sonic in the games has been the one to push the Sonic side of Sonamy much more then Amy does for herself, I’d like to think in most cases (especially as their dynamic grows) Sonic would start carrying other versions of him traits like trying to mess with her.

He’d want to get her to chase him more often and Amy would probably ask once or twice, “What’s going on and why are you acting weird?” He’d definitely play it off as him fooling around. Sonic doesn’t know much about romance, but he does know what Amy likes. Maybe he’d ask her out or go on a bunch of traveling missions. Anything to get her to pay attention to him again. After all, there’s been examples of the guy feeling ignored by her in and out of canon. It’s possible.

-There’s also a consistent detail where Sonic’s finally ready to open up but has to deal with Amy doing her own thing. Or when he’s face with different variants of her, he’s flirtatious with them. For the fastest thing alive, he has terrible timing when it comes to making his mind up.

Conclusion

Welp, there you have it, darlings. Examples of Sonic crushing on Amy more than some would think. It’s a Sonic character analysis and Sonamy post all in one. I know there’s more, but I think this gathers examples from the actual content.

Stay Creative! 💜

[leighsartworks216]

Migraine Pain

Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader

Wrote this for me bc I have a migraine rn and I want Astarion to act as my personal cold pack. Beginning of Astarion's dialogue taken from the vid Neil did of an Astarion wake up call lol

Not proofread bc brain hurts

Warnings: migraine descriptions, pain, light angst if you squint, swearing, OOC Shadowheart

Word Count: 1,839

Main Masterlist

First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

The two knocks at the door split your skull. Each one like an iron spike hammered into your temples. All you could do was hide deeper under the covers, hoping they would muffle the sound enough to stop hurting.

“Darling, get up,” Astarion called through the wood. Two more knocks accentuated his annoyance. He groaned when he didn’t hear any movement. “Get the fuck up!”

You wished you could tell him what was going on - really you did. But the slightest twitch from your tadpole was enough to have you wishing for death. Hells, you’d make a deal with Raphael with unbalanced terms just so it would go away! Instead, all you could do was wait it out. It would be a long wait indeed.

With another irritated sigh, you could hear the familiar scrape of his lockpicking tools working at the lock. Even the quiet metal-on-metal grated right against your eardrums. Fortunately, he was exceptionally skilled, because with a click the door was swinging open.

He rolled his eyes when he saw the lump of your body underneath the blankets. “My gods, you’re so lazy. Just like Gale.” His footsteps, even as an elven rogue, were too damn loud. You pressed your nose into the mattress, willing the thumping pulse in your head to stop. It thudded behind your eyes with each step.

In one swift motion, the blankets that provided the small mercy of darkness were whipped off of you. You curled as tightly into yourself as possible, covering your head with your arms to block out the sunlight streaming into your room. Astarion scoffed.

“Get out of bed and get up!” He gestured to the window. Even though you couldn’t see it, you could hear the rustling of his shirt. “It’s the morning. Listen, I might be a vampire that’s been away from the sun for 200 years, and I can actually now walk in it thanks to a tadpole that’s induced my mind,” he rambled, before huffing indignantly, “but even I don’t rest in!”

Now was the worst time for his dramatics. You usually adored how sassy and silly he could be, but now it just drove a stake through your brain. Even the Absolute couldn’t cause a pain this agonizing.

You whimpered, reaching out with one arm to swat him away. You missed. “Please, stop,” you whined. “Head hurts.”

He clicked his tongue. “Nothing the cleric can’t fix. C’mon, she can do whatever it is she does on our way out of here.”

You shook your head slowly, burying your face further and further into the bed. Gods, why did it have to hurt so fucking bad? Your chest tightened as the burn of tears stung at your eyes. Even crying hurt. Your body trembled and shook, your hands tangling into your hair to press at your affliction, as choked sobs suffocated you. Each gasp for air felt like a vice gripping your brain.

“Darling?” Astarion spoke, much softer. You couldn’t answer. He sighed softly, no longer annoyed. Well, a little annoyed. He dragged the blankets back up to your shoulders. “I’ll get Shadowheart.”

His footsteps were much lighter as he rushed out of your room. Was… this the work of the tadpoles? But wouldn’t they be affected, too? Ugh, why couldn’t anything be simple in this damn group of weirdos?

Shadowheart rushed in a moment later, remembering to keep her steps light halfway to you. She knelt down, frowning at the sight of the group’s leader so shaken. “Is it a migraine?” she whispered.

A sharp pain bolted through your temples as you nodded. You whimpered.

She sighed quietly. There was nothing her magic could do; migraines weren’t something she could just heal. “I’ll tell the others and whip up some tea, alright?”

She didn’t wait for your answer and set to work closing the curtains over the windows. Astarion frowned, missing the golden light already. “What’s wrong with them?”

Shadowheart put a finger over her lips with a glare. He scowled, but didn’t say anything. She only spoke when she was right next to him in the doorway. “They have a migraine. They’re extremely sensitive to light and sound right now.”

“Can’t you do something?” He glared impatiently at her, crossing his arms.

“There’s nothing for it. All we can do is wait. I suggest getting comfortable - we’re not leaving today.” She slipped past him, back down the stairs to the rest of your anxious companions.

He tapped his arm as he watched the lump under the blankets shift slowly as you finally uncovered your head. Baldur’s Gate was so close. Cazador was so close. They couldn’t deal with these delays when he was so damn close to being honestly, truly free.

He hadn’t moved from his post by the door when Shadowheart returned with a steaming cup of tea. She placed it carefully on your bedside table. “Drink this,” she whispered. “It should help with the pain.”

You nodded slightly, wiping at your face. She offered a little sympathetic smile. She gave Astarion a stern look as she passed. “Don’t try taking a nibble, vampire.”

He forced a sweet smile. “Offering yourself up instead?”

She scoffed, scrunching her nose up at the mere thought. “They need rest. And you leering over them isn’t going to help.” She left once more, with a last cursory glance over her shoulder to see if he’d leave.

Once she was out of sight, Astarion stepped into the room, softly closing the door behind him. His feet barely made a sound as he found his way back to your side. At least you weren’t curled up into a little ball anymore. Or crying. Small mercies, he supposed. He had no idea how to deal with someone being sick, let alone someone crying.

You looked at the cup on the table. Liquid salvation. The real trick was being able to drink it.

With a deep breath, you forced yourself to sit up, wincing and whimpering with every jerky motion. He was honestly shocked you didn’t jump when he grabbed your arm to help, but perhaps you really were that out of it. Or you knew he was there. Either way, you thank him in the smallest, most pathetic voice he’s ever heard.

Comfortably propped up on a stack of pillows against the headboard, you reached over to try grabbing the cup. He caught your hand just before you knocked the cup over.

“Careful, darling,” he chastised quietly. With a put-out sigh, he sat down at the edge of the bed and picked up the cup. He brought the rim to your lips. “Since you’re so incapable…”

You carefully took a sip. Your whole face relaxed at the warmth, and the soothing herbs mixed in. It wouldn’t be an immediate remedy, but it was a very pleasant one. After you eagerly drained half the cup, he set it back on the table. You sighed with relief, content in the knowledge even a single percentile of your pain could be eased away.

“You don’t have to stay,” you mumbled, watching him through squinted eyes. Even the dimness of the room was too bright for you.

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Least I could do after such a rude awakening.”

You chuckled, but the sound was cut short with a strong wince. You sat there for a moment, face pinched and brow tight as you waited for the sting to pass. Once it did, your face softened once more.

“How bad is it?”

“Like Dwarves are taking pickaxes to my temples in search of gold.” You took a breath. “And like an ogre is sitting on my head.”

He huffed a laugh. “Not much I can do to help with that, love.”

You hummed, shaking your head ever so slightly. You didn’t want to go jostling the miners when they were so damned hard at work.

With a small gesture toward the cup, Astarion helped you finish off the last half of the tea. A small dribble fell from the corner of your mouth down your chin. He caught it with his thumb quickly, the knuckles of his closed hand brushing your cheek. You leaned into the touch immediately, without even thinking about it. You sighed with relief.

“You’re cold.”

“Mm. Comes with being undead.” He set the cup aside, but allowed his hand to linger. In fact, he opened it up so he cupped your cheek with his palm. A sharp chill raced down your spine, but you didn’t pull away.

It was curious, how easily you placed yourself in his care. Watching as your eyes shut in easy tranquility as you indulged in the coolness of his hand, how relaxed you became - it surprised him. You always found new ways to amaze him.

Slowly, not wishing to jostle you, he moved to press his hand to your temple. If he thought you were relaxed before, this was utter bliss. “Gods, don’t stop,” you begged.

He glanced at the door, half expecting Shadowheart to burst in and yell at him for disturbing you. But nothing happened. Still, it would be better to avoid being told off. He pulled away, but kept a hand on your arm. “Lay down, dove.”

Whether out of desperation to have him acting as a cold compress once more or just to take the pressure off your brain, you complied in a heartbeat. Slowly, you shimmied back down into the covers, head situated on a pillow once more.

Astarion thought for a moment. Did he really want to keep sitting here, back tiring out, arms reaching for hours? You whined, placing a hand over his on your arm, asking without words for relief. He hushed you.

As quickly as he could without shaking the bed, he stood, rounded it, and slipped in under the covers beside you. You gravitated toward him immediately, even as you winced. Head on his chest, arms clinging to him like a babe holding onto its mother, you relaxed into the natural chill he offered. He rested a hand back on your cheek, but slid the other to the back of your neck. That was the sweet spot, it seemed; you practically melted in his arms.

It wasn’t long before you were fast asleep, lulled into peace with the aid of the tea. He stared at the dark curtains blocking out the sun. One more day couldn’t hurt, surely. Not that they really had a choice, but…

You stirred in your sleep, turning your head to press your nose further into the ruffles of his shirt. Like this - bags under your eyes, hair a mess, a bit pallid - he was sure. He would Ascend. You’d never have to suffer like this again. Neither of you would. He’d be the most powerful man in the lands, with you at his side. Never again would he have to live in fear, bound in chains to someone else.

He sighed and rested his cheek lightly on your head. Gods. Just a few days now.

---

Tag List:

@satelliteapotheosis @hypopxia @flsalazar @beverlybeav @angelofthorr @emiemiemiii @marina-and-the-memes @aurasyn @furblrwurblr @cappsikle @mjmygd @thegirlsadventuresinwonderland @kindadolly @bloopthebat @pandimoostuff @chesb0red @black-star1472 @sessils @puppyg1rl666 @maruichio @cyber-dump-171 @katharynmarie @twinkliker3000 @cherifrog @catching-fire-in-the-wind @phantoms-fandom-blog @thespectacularspaceace @lynnlovesthestars @sylverqueencosplay @tototini @ashrio20 @bambamwolf87 @astarion-imagine-archive @thistrashisreadytobash @rosxtinted @bongwaterflavoredgatorade @the-lake-is-calling @nyxmainex @squid-killer @godoffuckedupcats

[kotoku]

Hellohello!

May I request an Aventurine x The Nameless!reader? I think that'll give some interesting dynamic

ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴏꜰꜰ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ ꜰᴏᴏᴛ

synopsis - When you and your friends are extended an invite from The Family to attend the Charmony Festival, you were looking forward to the opportunity of a get-away! (Despite the suspicion that seemed to surround the invite letter.) That is until a certain IPC Executive approaches the trouble that your group has encountered at the reception desk.

pairings - aventurine x nameless! reader

content - this is kind of an enemies-to-lovers scenario (?) but we haven't reached the lovers part yet folks, front desk drama, character shenanigans, i don't really have much to say because it's not really fluff nor angst, let's just say it's a glimpse into a relationship (that would take super duper long to develop into)

warnings - none, besides the occasional swearing

⋘ ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ... ⋙

When Pom Pom had made the announcement that the Astral Express was about to head to its next destination, Penacony, a part of you was thrilled at the opportunity. However, an unpleasant feeling nagged at you. The invitation letter that was sent out by the family had suspicion written all over it. What exactly will happen at this Charmony Festival? Will your friends manage to find relaxation or get dragged down an inescapable rabbit hole? Time will only tell…

Shaking off the feeling of slight dread, you turned back to your luggage and checked that you had everything. You didn’t pack a lot, but enough to last your stay and more than enough room for souvenirs. Your train of thought was interrupted by rapid knocking, a familiar bubbly voice muffled by your bedroom door. 

“_____! We’ll be heading out soon! Don’t forget anything important!” March called, sounding a little impatient. You couldn’t blame her though, she had been waiting for this trip for a while. 

“I’m almost done! I’ll meet you guys in the main cabin!” You called back, scanning your luggage. 

After checking the rest of your stuff, you rolled out your luggage and bid your goodbyes to Dan Heng, meeting March 7th and the trailblazer at the main cabin.

“Are you guys ready?” You asked, smiling at March 7th’s enthusiasm and the Trailblazer’s excitement. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be! Let’s go before Himeko and Welt leave us stranded at the front desk!” March chimed.

March 7th hauled her luggage down the steps of the express, both you and the Trailblazer following suit. 

-----

Stepping into the Reverie Hotel, the floors which looked to span endlessly left you at a loss for words. It truly was a grand sight, the beautiful decor placed meticulously around the lobby. Near the reception desk were Himeko and Welt, seemingly frustrated and confused about something. 

The receptionist had an apologetic look. This couldn’t be good…

“Uh oh… Trailblazer, ____, something isn’t right.” March spoke, a concerned look on her features. It seems she has also noticed the scene up ahead. 

The Trailblazer had waved goodbye to the bell boy named Misha, following you and March 7th to the front desk. 

“Hey, what’s with the big gathering at the concierge about? We’ve just arrived and there’s already drama happening?” March sighed, stopping by Himeko.

“I’m sorry, but your name really isn’t in the system…” The receptionist apologized, Himeko crossing her arms in thought.

“Mr Yang, what’s going on here?” You gave Welt a questioning glance while the others were speaking to the receptionist. He sighed, closing his eyes before opening them again.

“There are 5 rooms reserved for us. However..the issue is that the Trailblazer isn’t on that list. I assume it’s because they didn’t arrive on the express until later.” Welt explained, looking over to the rest of the group. “Ms Alley, if it is possible, can we reassign the last room to the Trailblazer? It would still be the same amount of people.”

As the others were trying to find a solution to this check-in problem, you noticed a blond figure making his way over to the front desk. Observing his clothing, you were able to recognize that he was an IPC executive of the Strategic Investment Department. If you were to guess his reasoning for being here, it would be because of the invite The Family sent out. However, his presence here did not ease the dread that still plagued you.

The man glanced towards you, a smile devoid of emotion remaining on his face as he interrupted the receptionist’s explanation. 

From there, the group learned that his name was Aventurine, an IPC executive and one of the ten stonehearts, Diamond’s subordinate. With the attitude he was giving the group, you almost wanted to wipe that damn look on his face. The worst part was that he knew how frustrating he was, fueling your irritation further. You were about to make a retort to one of his statements before Himeko gave you a knowing glance. Crossing your arms with your brow twitching in annoyance, you spared Aventurine a glare. 

In return, that bastard gave you a smug smirk before returning to his conversation with Himeko.

The Trailblazer seemed to notice your irritation and gave you an empathetic pat on your shoulder, sharing the same frustrations. 

This ‘Aventurine’ was an enigma to you, his intentions and actions being hard to discern with arrows being pointed to varying conclusions. Being through a multitude of trailblazing missions, his character immediately spelled trouble for you and your friends. Yet finding just what trouble he will cause for your group will have to wait. For now, he was busy stirring trouble at the front desk with onlookers whispering and starting to gossip.

“-- I’ll be counting on all my ‘Trailblazer’ friends here. Looking forward to a delightful time with you all.” Aventurine’s voice interrupted your observation. Hearing the word ‘friends’ being uttered by Aventurine made you look at Himeko with a deadpan expression. It seems that you will be seeing each other around often if you were now considered his friends. Hopefully, he’d be much more interested in your Trailblazer friend..sorry Trailblazer.

Surprisingly, the head of the Oak Family, Sunday, and the universally renowned singer who was his younger sister, Robin, approached your group at the front desk. After Sunday spoke with the receptionist, Aventurine dismissed himself and walked with Sunday to the side, conversing about whatever it was Aventurine had business with. Before he left, he gave you a side glance and a smile. 

Robin’s voice snapped you out of your wary gaze, calling your group over to one of the lounges to have a seat. 

----- 

It had taken a while, but before you knew it you were finally checked in and had arrived at the VIP area. Extending your arms over your head, you hummed in satisfaction at the cracking of joints. 

“Glad that that’s over. I'm hoping nothing troublesome will await us when we arrive at our rooms.” You sighed, walking towards the bar that stood in the center of the room. 

People were scattered around the area, lost in their own conversation as you surveyed the area. 

The interior design had a nostalgic and dreamy aesthetic surrounding it, reminding you of vintage designs and items from your home planet. The atmosphere surrounding Penacony felt light, the concept and history of the place fueling your interest. You couldn’t wait for what encounters you’d face in the dreamscape. 

“_____! We’re going to put our stuff away in our rooms. Do you want to come with?” March 7th pulled you from your thoughts. 

Giving her a smile, you shook your head. 

“You guys can go without me. I’m going to look around for a bit.” “Ok! Trailblazer, let’s go!”

Watching March 7th and the Trailblazer race up the stairs with their belongings, you turned your attention toward the man who was playing the piano. You walked over and stood amongst the small crowd, watching his performance. Although you didn’t recognize the song that he was playing, it soothed your feelings and the stress from earlier seemed to almost fade away. 

Key word, almost.

After everyone had left for their separate rooms, you were the last to follow as you chatted with some of the people who worked there. You bid your goodbyes to the Intellitron nurse who was seated near the rooms and turned the corner into the hallway. However, you didn’t expect to see Aventurine walking out of the Trailblazer’s room. In an instant, you felt your stress come back in the form of a headache, just what was he doing in their room? 

“Ah, _____, is it? I apologize for any perceived slight that you may have felt during our first encounter.” Aventurine hummed, stopping in his tracks when he noticed you. “I look forward to any future encounters, friend.” 

Your eyes narrowed.

“What were you doing in the Trailblazer’s room, Aventurine?” You questioned, arms crossing over your chest. 

“No need for suspicion, friend. I was simply conversing with the Trailblazer about the room arrangements and offered my apologies.” He explained, watching you carefully analyze him. 

“Also, I appreciate you finding my appearance attractive enough to stare at during our last encounter, but I have to ask if that is appropriate of that of a Nameless?”

Your cheeks flared up in both embarrassment and anger, fingernails leaving indents on your palms when you uncrossed your arms. “Excuse me? I was not admiring your appearance, it’s best to not come to such conclusions after a first meeting, Aventurine.” You huffed.

“Is that so? Then the same could be said for you, friend. Although I haven’t made the best first impression, it wouldn’t be wise to assume that that makes up my whole character, correct?” Aventurine countered, his smile widening at your increasing irritation.

“I suppose so, my apologies.” You begrudgingly apologized, your balled fists fell lax. 

“Mmmm, I’m glad you agree. Now that that’s resolved, I’d like to discuss something with you.” Aventurine strolled closer to you, a sly smile crossing his features. This couldn’t be good. 

“Apologies, Aventurine, but it seems that–” “Friend, I would like to make you an offer that would benefit the both of us.” 

The distance between the both of you was small, about a foot away from each other. Your brow 

twitched at the closeness, nervousness clawing at your stomach. Yet, you stood your ground.

Before he could speak another word, a woman with purple hair interrupted the both of you. 

“Excuse me, do any of you know where this area is?” She inquired, giving Aventurine a glance and then looking at you. 

“I’m sorry, miss. I think there is a Family Member in the lounge who may know where your room is. Would you like me to escort you to them?” You tried taking the opportunity to get away from Aventurine and whatever he was scheming. 

“...No, that’s okay. Thank you for your help.” The woman left, continuing to pass you guys. 

“...You’ll have to excuse me, but I am feeling awfully tired after my travels.” Aventurine was about to speak up but you had already passed him, walking to your room. “I hope your stay in Penacony is a pleasant one, Aventurine.” 

He stared at your retreating form, turning a corner into another hallway. Aventurine sighed in disappointment, having looked forward to talking with you. Perhaps, he’ll have to wait until he sees you again to have a proper conversation. 

“I look forward to when we meet again, _____.”

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ! ⋙

note - hi everyone! i just want to say that it'll probably be a bit until i post something but i have received some of your requests! this week seems fairly busy so i'm sorry for any slow responses. i hope to get something out by tomorrow or thursday. thank you all for your understanding and support! (´◡`)

[dr3am5scape]

Mizu saves you

(Mizu x Fem Reader)

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

Summary: Your a princess that were chased by men from your home town. As you were seeking for help, a samurai twice as tall as you came to the rescue. 🤭💕

Warning: (Bit dark content)

How’s everyone day doing? I’m sure it’s doing well💜Tonight I will like to give out another story to read through and enjoy. Pls let me know for Mizu or upcoming characters which are my crushes such as Abby, Kuvira, Revy or so and so fanfics. I have to figure out a story for Abby still, but since I got requests from others, I’ll try to get those started without waiting too long . Besides that, please support my stories. Tysm☺️

A samurai stayed in a brothel at the city for quite some time. But this time it was for the night. She didn't want anyone to come towards as she was in her own time thinking. She never let anyone allowed no company to start causing a problem. Whatever she was doing, you were off to leave her alone til she was done. In the meantime she heard footsteps along the way, trying to ignore. "I said no company please," she says sternly. There was a princess from the main town that have been in some sort of trouble. After all it was you who was in a dangerous situation. "Please sir…” You stutter at your words. Then start freaking out immediately. “I really need your help!" You grab them by the arm. At first you thought it was a man because how well they dressed in a masculine-samurai way, but from the voice, it was sure a woman. “I've been chased by several of men. Please if you can help me before they take me away!" You cried out, tugging piece of cloth that was from the samurai's outfit.

The samurai, known as Mizu, her tone soften quickly when she heard it was a cry for help and that it was literally serious. She turn to face you below, adjusting her glasses. "Stay calm dear. Who's after you actually?" She tried her best to calm you down, but the look on your face tells her that this wasn't the right time to start explaining literally everything and get right to the point. "Look, I'm not sure about their names. They just started attacking few of my bodyguards while I was in my room. I'm a princess coming from this town. And I need someone's help!" You start tearing up, releasing emotions out of your body. Mizu takes note that something was up and that she was willing to gain trust in you.

"Alright. You stay behind me from now on." She says like this type of behavior wasn’t so serious XD. She brings your wrist, turning you around to get behind her back as Mizu takes out her sword slowly, ready to take off. She lead you out of the brothel, walking down to a staircase from outside, seeing if the men were ever gonna approach. You hold onto the back of her arm as you slowly followed her without making a sound. Once you two look around the city in night, few shadows comes from a block away. "There! Right there!" You yell pointing at them. In a quick swift, Mizu drag you to a nearby wall bit far from the men, as she covers your mouth, leaning closer to your height. She didn't want you to make such noise to ruin the time where you two can easily get killed by several of men in groups. From the way Mizu shuts you down, she was literally pinning you to the wall by grabbing your wrist up on the wall with one of her hand as the other on your mouth, keeping you still and steady as possible. She slowly peak out to see if they were coming at her. Few of the guys notice, not realizing it was you two at first, til they start walking by.

You mumble, freaking out when you heard further footsteps. "Stay here. Remain quiet." Mizu says, drawing her sword steadly as few of the guys saw her. She was not having you take your life away from the night. So thankfully, she was that person, the only samurai to save you. (Give you at least another life). The fighting begun when the first men comes running at Mizu with his dagger. She didn't hesitate but to duck under him and slash him from behind. He fall on the ground, done. You didn't notice another guy came as bunch of them runs towards Mizu. She did whatever she can to attack each of them. And one of the men went towards you, trying to kill you. You did your best to throw rocks at him, a way to protect yourself. The guy had his dagger ready to jab in you as he slash you. Your arm was blocked from the dagger and felt the pain of the blood spilling bit. You scream in horror. Right away, Mizu strike the men through the heart, letting him fall on the ground as she bend down to take your hand.

Your face turn pale as you saw all the blood everywhere from every men Mizu attacked. You was so focus on that more than what Mizu was trying to say. A bit blur on your mind, you tried hard not to faint. "Are you hurt, dear?" Mizu asks, still trying to held up her hand at you. You were so speechless, you couldn't think what else to say. "Um..." reaches slowly at her arm. Mizu pulled you up holding you still. Your knees were buckled, as you slowly fainted to the ground. But Mizu catches you before you ever landed straight down.

Few hours later, back in the brothel, you were slightly awake, laying down on a purple mat. Looking around, you can see Mizu carefully pulling up her sleeves to see your wound from the arm. She slowly takes your own sleeve away from this deep scar. Felt like your arm was close to get slice up. Before Mizu was able to open the med kit, she sees your eyes watching her. "...you again..." you said quietly.

You've been unconscious for a little while now since the crazy incident happened earlier. Luckily, Mizu kept calming you down, looking at you; with nothing but a soft expression. "I'll take care of your arm. Must stay still and rest. I got you covered." She says, gently taking her time to stitch your arm, which you wince from the pain. You were able to see her for a quite a few seconds before falling back to a deep sleep.

You thought to yourself: (Who was this…this samurai that…saved my life?)

*Aaaha so glad I figure what to write for tonight :D I was so lazy not writing more stories as I'm suppose to. Been having a passion on writing stories for idk how long. So, enjoy this welcoming fanfic of my beloved, Mizu)

Please reblog would be appreciated!

[moonybug444]

(sorry for my bad english!) hii! I found your account and i want to tell you that your stories are, like, a GREAT comfort, the few you have are, it sounds weird but, in my opinion reading stories (or writing) about abusive relationships is an escape route to avoid falling into those relationships in real life, I mean, i read them and i get the adrenaline because of reading it instead of living them dhfjkshfsk so yes, they are also very, very well written <:

can i ask for a story where Connie is a little older thanreader, and constantly manipulates her with the excuse that he knows better and reader believes him, because, for a long time, he was the only older figure she had, something like that, I don't know. , bonus if reader cries hysterically in his arms (his fault, of course, he slapped her or something)

i really agree with your take on the whole writing about traumatic relationships because that’s how i feel. i’ve been thru so so much and i know it’s different but this is most definitely how i cope, im glad someone else can relate to me especially during these times i’ve felt so alone💗 you english is beautiful by the way, thank you 😊

tw: grooming - reader was 17 when she meant 24 year old connie / mental abuse / physical abuse - from connie and from readers dad / very mean and manipulative? connie / unestablished relationships / not proofread

such a baby

——————————————————————————————————

“really thought you were over that stupid shit y’know, (name)?” he looks down at you, sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed and spits, “you’re still just a fucking kid.”

he hates it when you cry. you know he does, he knows he does, so you don’t know why it feels like him making it happen is always his main goal.

you sit there silently looking up at him as he scrolls on his phone. after a couple minutes he puts it down and looks down at you.

“you’re gonna have to find a place to go.” your eyes widen all the more and you feel your heart beat quicken. it scares you when he says stuff like that. find a place to stay? where could you possibly go? you feel like you’ve been with connie so long, he’s taken care of you for so long…

“w-what?” you get up suddenly, trying to ease your way into his lap. you’re get even more nervous even harder when he meanly pushes you away, you pretty eyes water.

“c-connie..! hic wh-what— how will i—?” you can’t even finish your sentence you’re so shaken. you really can’t help it, you can’t imagine any life without connie. how could you? he’s the one that took you in, he’s the one that knows exactly what to do when you don’t, he tells you what to do when you’re just about to make the wrong choice. he’s shown you what love is when nobody else could.

while you’re breaking down crying you can tell connie’s losing his patience by the second, he’s getting up waving his hands all type of ways getting all in your face, yelling all types of nonsense.

“dammit (name), shut the fuck up, y’know i hate that crybaby shit, go fix yourself before i do it for you” when you don’t shut up he doesn’t give you a second warning, just slaps you clean across your face. you damn near fly across the room from the impact, connie’s just so much stronger than you.

“—oww ..!” your body shakes as you try to lift yourself up, your crying even harder now. “y-you’re a liar…! you said—you said hic you were d-done hitting me—!”

he stomps over to you, eyes wide and mad while he starts dragging you by your little arm to the front door, “who the fuck do you think your talking to?! i don’t owe you shit you know that, little girl?!”

connie goes to open the front door, “i’m fucking tired, (name) i’ll sleep like a fucking baby without your fucking crying tonight—”

when you don’t stop he freaks out a little more. he hates when you don’t listen.

“think i fucking won’t?” he gets louder, “think i won’t put you out this fucking house, right now?! i don’t give a fuck what time it is—!”

connie drags you back to your shared bedroom and starts ripping your clothes out wherever he can find them and putting them in so random bags, while you cry and hyperventilate. he doesn’t give one fuck, to him you deserve this shit. you’re always running your mouth.

“who got you all this shit, huh?!” he moves on to the vanity and starts packing all your cute little jewelry, breaking some in the process.

he stops for a second and just looks down at you. veins popping out of his neck as he screams, with the bag he’s stuffing all your belonging in tightly gripped in his hand and that mean look of sternness in his eyes, you realize just how how much older connie really is. just how scary he is. with him being 7 years older than you and all, you’ve always put connie on the high horse, always seen it as a flex. but you don’t think you’ve ever really seen it until now. how truly scary he can be.

“you wanna go back, (name)?” he takes a deep breath. “you wanna go back to that shit everyday? living in that fucking house, getting treated like some fucking shit?”

you sob when he finally lets go of your now bruised arm. he goes to sit on the bed.

you were 17 and connie had just turned 24. it was late out when you ran away from home. you were sick of it. your dad was terrible to you, all the yelling and screaming and the bruises—you couldn’t take it anymore. connie was one of your friends older cousin, you had meant him at her birthday party and you think you fell in love. he just seemed so…mature. at the end of the night when he saw you all alone, he went up to you and asked if you were alright. turns out your dad was pissed so he didn’t pick you up. connie couldn’t be more excited to hear that shit. cute little shy teenager, and she’s got daddy issues? he hit the jackpot. he ended up taking you home and giving you his number, in case you ever, “needed anything.”

you’d call connie whenever, no matter what. he always knew exactly what to say.

one night your dad blacked your eye and you called connie. connie showed up 8 minutes later and came barging in, beating the shit out of your dad. that was the last night you heard from your dad and the last night you ever weren’t by connie’s side. you’ve been living with him ever since. you’ll never forget that first night he held you in his bed. he whispered about how everything would be ok and how much he’d take care of you. and you believed it.

it’s been only 2 years since then and connie’s still that ever so cool senior that you look up to. you love connie to death and you don’t think you ever won’t. he knows you’re completely dependent on him now too, he thinks he'll always use it to his advantage.

“you’re such a baby.” you look up at him and he nearly melts, he wants to fucking ruin you. you eyes are all glossy and swollen from crying, your lips are stilly wobbly from the wailing, and your tears—don’t even get him started on the fucking tears.

connie thinks about how perfect you are.. you’re already as naive as you could possibly be, but the age gap just puts it more in his favor.

you look in his eyes to see if that gaze is still there…you know, the loving one even after everything, and it is.

“i love you….” you whisper it like it’s a curse, anxious for his answer.

connie smiles and kisses your forehead watching you light right back up just from the small gesture.

“i know you do.”

[k-evans-reads]

In Living Color

Chapter 25

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

July 25th, 2022

Chris let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into his mother’s house from the back door, the cool air of the home giving him and Scott a reprieve from the heatwave outside. They found their Ma in her kitchen, putting away some groceries with a smile on her face as she saw her sons. 

“I certainly didn’t expect to see you here today,” Lisa greeted, coming over to hug them both. She hugged Scott before hugging Chris, holding her oldest son's arms as she pulled away and told him, “I figured it would take at least another day for you to recover from the press tour.” 

Chris laughed, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet home. “Oh I’ll be going to bed early tonight, that’s for sure,” he assured her with a nod. 

Scott smirked at the words, moving to grab a cup from a cabinet and fill it with water. “I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t just fly straight to San Francisco to see Nat,” he drawled, his voice booming. 

“Yeah, it’s been what? A month since you’ve seen her?” Lisa asked, raising a brow as she dropped her hands from Chris’ arms and headed back into the kitchen, pulling groceries from the bags resting on the island counter. 

“I was with her over the fourth so almost a month,” he corrected, leaning down to pet his Ma’s dogs as they danced at his feet. But then he thought back to his visit earlier in the month, at the fleeting moments they’d had together, but otherwise… he’d been alone. Nat’s schedule was busier than ever, if it was even possible, and she spent so much time glued to her laptop that he missed her even when he was there. “I miss Nat so fuckin’ much but I’m almost thinking about staying here.” 

Lisa raised a brow suspiciously as she closed the fridge, tucking the reusable grocery bags into each other. “Oh really?” She asked him while she looked at him curiously. 

“I’m just so exhausted. Going from filming earlier this year to the Lightyear press and right into The Gray Man press, I’m just so tired,” he murmured with a shake of his head as he leaned his hip against the island. “And now that I’ll be going to Atlanta soon for Pain Hustlers, I feel like I just need a break away from everything.” 

“Maybe Nat could come out here instead?” 

“Yeah I think I might ask her if she could,” Chris nodded his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, in fact, the opposite was true but after being dragged from one interview to another then put on a plane to make another appearance and do the whole routine again, he was craving his safe space more than ever. He just wanted to be home and sleep in his own bed, have home cooked meals, and decompress in the place he felt the most himself. Chris ran a hand through his hair while he mused, “I want to see her so bad, but when I’m there during the week, she’s at work anyway so it’s not like we get to spend much time together.” 

He watched as Lisa pursed her lips while she listened to his words. “Well maybe once you rest up a little more, you could go out for a weekend,” she suggested, her eyebrows raising hopefully as she looked at her oldest son. He shrugged his shoulders at that as he heard Scott’s small noise of agreement and sighed. 

“I don’t have many more weekends before I start filming again,” he began as he stared down at the marble countertop. He’d gotten the official schedules for both shoots a few weeks ago, and there was virtually no spare time once he started the first project, but what little time he had left before was quickly getting filled up in Massachusetts. He hadn’t been home for a long stretch of time since the previous year, and even then he spent most of 2021 in Los Angeles, growing his relationship with Nat. He’d missed home, missed seeing his family, the kids, getting to just live without constantly looking over his shoulder. And the growing list of responsibilities from ASP that he’d been ignoring while working were piling up, and his schedule was full of tasks between now and the middle of August. By then, he’d jump right into the shoots around Florida and Georgia with the cast of Pain Hustlers to then be in Atlanta working for months on end for Red One, having no real opportunities to visit Nat in California. “I just hate to disappoint Nattie.” 

“Honey, you know Nat will understand,” Lisa placated her son, looking at him seriously as she listened to his words. “She won’t want you to kill yourself just to come see her.” 

Chris shook his head, explaining, “Oh I know she’ll understand, Nat always does.” 

“I know a certain dog who will be happy that you’ll be around here for a while,” she pointed out with a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement.

“You should have seen how I woke up this morning. Dodger was laying right on top of me,” Chris laughed, thankful for the shift in conversation away from him changing his and Nat’s plans. 

Scott’s dry laugh cut through the room as he told their mother, “He’s been right on Chris’ heels all day.” 

Lisa smiled at the comment, before her eyes turned curious and she looked at Chris as he finally sat down in a barstool next to Chris. “What were you guys up to today?” She asked them both, looking between them. 

“Well…” Chris started as Scott bit his lip, turning to look at him as well. With both his Ma’s and Scott’s eyes on him, a smile crossed his lips.  “That’s actually part of the reason we came over…” 

“Why’s that?” 

A warm smile crossed his lips as his brain was able to switch from the exhaustion his whole body was clouded in, to instead thinking about the purchase he made hours earlier and the meaning that came with it as he told his mother, “I bought something for Nat today that I wanted to show you…” 

He could feel Lisa’s eyes on him as he pulled the velvet box out of the plain white bag and handed it over to her. He watched as she flipped it open and saw the shining diamond ring inside as she gasped, “Chris, you got her a ring? You’re going to ask her to marry you?” 

“Yeah Ma, I am,” a warmth spread throughout him as he said those words out loud. 

Chris could see the tears glossing her eyes as she gasped, “Oh honey, I couldn’t be happier.” 

“Me neither,” he shook his head almost in disbelief that this was really happening. His own tears started gathering in his blue eyes, making him blink furiously before he swallowed the emotional lump in his throat, “I think I’ve known for a while now that Nat was the one for me but when I was with her in San Francisco for our anniversary earlier this year I just… knew. I just don’t want anyone but her.” 

“I knew from that first time I met her that you two would be together,” Lisa stated firmly before going over to hug her eldest son tightly. 

“I think we all knew that one,” Scott chimed in with a chuckle from where he had sat down at the counter, knowing that Chris and Nat being together was something they all saw coming a mile away. 

Chris had to wipe a hand along his cheeks, swiping away the tears as he admitted, “I just love her so much. I never even knew it could feel like this,” 

“I’m so happy for you Chris. I can honestly say this is the best decision you’ve ever made,” his mother encouraged him with a hand rubbing up and down his back but then wanted to know, “When are you going to ask her?” 

The question was one he’d been thinking about a lot but still hadn’t figured out an answer to, letting her in, “I’m not sure yet. I don’t really have a specific time so I’m just going to ask her when the moment feels right.” 

Lisa couldn’t help but give him another hug, squeezing him tightly as she once again told him just how happy she was before the conversation shifted toward dinner and the brothers decided to stay and help get things ready. As Chris was pulling out the plates, his gaze drifted down to the ring box that was sitting open on the counter and felt the conversation happening around him seem to drift away. He picked up the box and looked at that sparkling ring, imagining what it would look like on Nat’s hand and almost finding it unbelievable that at the beginning of the previous year he hadn’t even met her, but now here he was ready to place this on her hand with the promise of forever. 

He loved her so much it almost hurt and even as insecure and indecisive as he could be, this was one decision that didn’t leave any doubts in his mind other than the timing. With his schedule being full with two more movies and Nat being in San Francisco for her job, he didn’t know the next time that they’d get any extended amount of time together and although it left him at a loss on how to fully support her while he wasn’t there, he had come to see through their breakup that none of it mattered. Sure, it was a hurdle they’d need to figure out how to cross, but all that mattered is that he had Nat in his life and he wanted her forever. Chris knew that this was the best thing that could ever happen to him, but what he didn’t know is that while he stood here full of joy and peace, the woman he loved was across the country feeling desperately trapped in the new job and life she had chosen and felt more stuck that she ever had in her life. 

Nat shut the creaking door behind her and locked the deadbolt, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the door as she felt her muscles tense. She looked around her dark apartment, feeling… indifferent to everything. Coming home had always been something sacred to her, her escape, her happy place, where she hosted friends, family, game nights, and movie nights. But here… she’d hole up for days over a weekend without having anyone here who would reach out to say, “Hey! Haven’t seen you this weekend, want to grab brunch tomorrow?”, only to hear a ping alerting her to new emails. It was no longer a place of refuge to her, instead, it felt like a place where she couldn’t take a deep breath, where she could never relax, where no one would come looking, or even stop by. She was completely alone here in this silent apartment, but the one bright spot that had gotten her through so many days was knowing that in one day, her apartment would be occupied by the heart-of-gold man that she loved so dearly. His laughter would fill the tiny space, his hands would rub her aching back, and his presence would fill the void in her heart that had been hurting so badly. 

When her phone started ringing, she pulled it out and saw his name on her screen, bringing out the first genuine smile in a long time as she held it up to her ear and greeted him with a hello that sounded a lot less enthusiastic than she intended but just couldn’t seem to muster anything more. 

“Hi honey, is this a good time?” He asked her, his voice filling her ear. 

She nodded, suppressing the sigh that caught in her throat. “Yeah I’m just walking through my door,” she told him, hanging her bag on the hook by the door as she kicked her shoes off. 

Nat heard him huff out a breath, his voice quiet as he pointed out, “Nattie, it’s almost eight there.” 

She shook her head, frowning at his concern. She knew it was well placed, it always was. They cared about each other to be making those jabs at the other, but it didn’t mean her shoulders relaxed a little at every concerned comment he made. If anything, it made her feel a little worse. “I know, it just was a busy day,” she explained, her voice quiet as she turned on the lights and stepped further into the apartment. 

“Will you promise me that you’ll have some dinner?” 

“I promise I will,” she told him, glancing towards the shoebox of a kitchen before she headed into the living room, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. “I actually am a little surprised to hear from you. I figured you’d be asleep with you flying out here tomorrow.” 

“That’s actually what I wanted to call you about,” he began, pausing as he sighed. Nat froze, listening as he finally asked, “Nattie, would it disappoint you if I didn’t come out to San Francisco?” 

Her brows furrowed and her hand reached, plucking a few threads from the worn blanket on the couch as she fidgeted anxiously. “Is everything okay?” She asked worriedly, unsure if something had happened 

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine, I’m just so exhausted,” he admitted and Nat could have been able to know that without his admission. The weariness in his voice was evident even if she hadn’t known how packed his schedule had been but kept listening as he sighed, “I feel like I’ve just been going non-stop for the past couple months and then with heading into doing two more movies this year, I just feel really overwhelmed. I just want some time to decompress.” 

“Of course I’m sad not to see you but that’s fine Chris, I want you to take care of yourself,” Nat told him truthfully. In reality, hearing those words felt like a punch in the gut or as if all the air from her lungs had just been taken away. Having him come out to see her had been the one saving grace through all of this. She knew that if she could just make it to when she’d get to have his arms around her again, then maybe she could do this. Maybe that would help center her again, but in an instant that had been stolen away. 

But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t burden him with the knowledge of how much she was struggling while he was so burnt out and had to recharge before being thrown into filming again. Besides, he had warned her. He was the one who told her that this job wasn't for her and that it didn’t seem like the right move for her and he had been right. Nat just couldn’t let anyone, especially herself, know how much this job was taking a toll on her. It was just a job and the fact that she couldn’t seem to handle it only made her feel like even more of a failure than ever. 

“I hope you know how much I want to see you and it has nothing to do with that,” Chris went on to assure her, but it brought little healing to her heart because all she could feel was that she was alone yet again. “I also figured that when I’m there during the week I don’t get to see you much anyway and thought that maybe you could come out for a weekend if you have time or I could come out there before Atlanta.” 

“I’m not sure yet what my schedule is but we’ll figure something out. I want you to just decompress,” she rushed to tell him, trying hard to cover up the tears and heavy emotion in her voice. 

“Are you sure, Nat?” 

Nat just took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice before responding with, “I am, I want you to rest. I know how important it is to you to be able to be away from everything in Boston.” 

“Thanks for understanding, baby. I love you so much and I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” 

Nat pushed out a quick “I love you too” before hearing the line hang up. She couldn’t even pull the phone away from her ear before silent tears started spilling out of her eyes. With a shaky finger she clicked the red button before trudging over to the couch where she laid down and grabbed a pillow, clutching it to her chest as the tears just wouldn’t stop pouring down her face. 

Nat was so proud of Chris. She was so proud of all he’d done this year, pushing himself with the films he was doing and going through the press tours he hated so much while traveling the world in a whirlwind. She was so happy that he could recognize when he needed a break, and just decompress. She was so glad that he had a place to do that, where he had a home to just be himself and relax but right now she just hated it so much that the home wasn’t with her. 

Using the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she furiously wiped at her eyes and sat up. Nat tried so hard to just pull it together, but the moment her eyes glanced out the window of her apartment and she saw the almost tauntingly beautiful view of San Francisco, heavy sobs started pouring out of hers as those tears that she had just wiped away were quickly replaced. Just one look at that view reminded her that she was here in the city by the bay, completely and utterly alone. 

She had always loved her job, working as an animator was truly a dream come true. Nat was just a normal girl who had been given an incredible gift by having a father who believed in her, sending her to art school to follow her dreams but it felt like somehow her real dream, the real longing of her heart had slipped through her fingers. Nat had been so happy working at Disney, settling into a life in California over the past decade and having an incredible group of friends, including Mark and Jamie who had become more like family to her. 

But COVID had changed everything for her. In that time frame, her engagement to Shane had ended, Nat had become so much more self assured and knew who she was, but after being able to spend months at home with her family, she had moved back to California with a loneliness in her heart and a longing for something more. For the first time in her life she had seen how much she wanted more than her job. She wanted her own family and to be able to love someone and have them love her in return. 

And then Chris came into her life. 

So much had changed since he’d made his unexpected entrance in her life and Nat had found out so many more things about herself and what she wanted. He helped her to rest in who she was and embrace what it was that made her… well, her. He was her best friend and gave her peace in a way that she couldn’t quite explain. But there was still a part of her that let those little voices into the back of her head, remembering the looks she’d gotten from people when she was younger and said her dream was to be an artist. She remembered the jokes so many made when they asked what she was going to do for a ‘real job’ and the sting of that in her formative years still was underneath the surface. 

Nat’s fingers were clutching tight on that pillow as she thought back to her dad dropping her off at art school as he hugged her tightly and told her how proud of her he was and that he knew she’d do great things. Ever since then all she had wanted to do was prove him right, to show everyone she wasn’t just the overemotional chaotic artist little sister behind two intelligent successful older sisters who seemed to be able to do all the things she viewed herself incapable of. 

So here she was. Accepting this job that she thought would somehow prove something. That somehow would be the icing on the cake of ‘See? I can be a successful artist’ but all it had done was show her just how right Chris had been about all of this. This wasn’t what she wanted. She hated every bit of this job. She wanted so much more than this now. She wanted Chris. She wanted a family. She wanted to create for herself. But there was no turning back now. There was no way that she could go to her boss only a couple months after starting and basically say she wanted to be demoted, especially when her position back in Burbank had already been filled. Not to mention that she had taken a stand with this job and Chris, resulting in them temporarily breaking up. That felt like such a huge failure in her mind and that was something Nat simply just couldn’t take at the moment. 

So here she had been, putting her nose to the grindstone and putting in her hours, trying to get through the days with the light at the end of the tunnel being August. The month when she’d get her best friend back. When she’d finally get to feel his arms around her. When she’d finally not dread the weekends and spend them crying in bed but instead fill them with laughter and happiness with Chris. When she’d finally get to relax for the first time in weeks. Knowing that he was coming to her was like a lifeline, knowing that she just had to make it until then and then hopefully things would be better. But now it felt like that lifeline that was dangling just out of her reach was snatched away and she was left drowning. 

But there was no way she could ask him to come. It was just too selfish. She couldn’t possibly know just how packed his schedule had been and hear his weary voice saying how much he just needed to go home and then ask him to come be with her instead. So here she was. Sitting alone on this couch, tears streaming down her face as she felt completely alone and completely stuck. 

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Hi! I think Season 5 was a really weird time to invert the love square - it just kind of happens, and the reasons don’t feel very organic, to say the least - I think fandom already has enough to say about it (and hey, you’ve probably talked about it too!)

So if you had to do it (keeping in mind 5 seasons, and canon’s overall structure), where would you invert it? I’ve had this question for a while, and recently arrived to, I’d do it in Miracle Queen, possibly show Marinette or Adrien reconsidering in a post credit scene (or in general, after the scene where they’re all sitting and Marinette goes for Luka). Main reason for me is, Miracle Queen is pretty inconclusive on the shipping aspect - it opens with Adrien being uncertain of his relationship with Kagami, and ends with Adrien still unsure, and Marinette finally accepting Luka.

On the Marinette side, that last part might seem pretty conclusive, but after she suffered a major loss (going with canon’s “Marinette lost Fu” here despite the many problems I have with the way Fu was written), I think the emotional void really couldn’t be properly filled with Luka, and had Chat Noir’s character not gone down the drain after the season finale, he’d be the only real option Marinette can consider even talking to - temp heroes outed, kwamis being glorified toys, barely anyone even knowing Fu and all that. In my ideal world, she would’ve at least moved on from Adrien (wherein canon of course has to insist on the OTP), and I feel Chat Noir fills the void very naturally.

On the Adrien side, I think him interrupting the kiss was a sign of him not knowing what he wants out of a relationship in general - he seemed to be moving on from Ladybug in Hearthunter, and the Ladynoir in Miracle Queen to me felt much closer to them being together against the world (which is… exactly what the episode says out loud), not falling in love. I don’t think Kagami would want a relationship with Adrien after that whole mess (and that did end up being the case), so the closest non Ladybug option would be Marinette. So not a random “I love Marinette because she’s so nice and she kissed me after I pranked her” (canon please 🙄), but more of a “Marinette has always been so nice to me, instead of bothering Ladybug even more I’ll at least try getting a little closer to Marinette” and things develop from there on out.

But Season 4 threw my hope and dreams onto a burning landfill so that was cool. Anyways, how would you structure it? This got a bit long haha

Don't apologize, that was an interesting and quite good argument for flipping the crushes at Miracle Queen. I hadn't really thought about it before, but that would have been a much more satisfying way to shake things up in season four instead of waiting until season five and then speed running the flip only to immediately undo Marinette's side of the flip all within six episodes. I think that your alternate season four could have worked, though it would require season four to really lean into the ending of season three instead of largely ignoring it.

Since you asked where I'd do it if I had to flip the crushes, I'll give you my thoughts, but first I want it put on the record that I hate the idea of both crushes flipping mid-show. One crush flipping feels reasonable, but both? At the same time? That's really hard for me to buy, especially since you'd have to do it pretty quickly given the way canon is structured. You can't drag things out for episodes at a time. Most things take, at most, two episodes.

I'm also not sure what the point of flipping the crushes is. It feels less like narrative progression and more like a stalling tactic since the love square will only get together if one crush flips. Both crushes? Same square, different angle (I jokingly call it the love diamond.)

And yet, canon actually managed to pull off a very solid reverse crush setup. If season five had started off with the crushes flipped, then I would have totally believed it. Marinette just had her crush on Adrien cost her all of the miraculous. That's a very good way to kill a crush just like finding out Chat Noir's identity is a very good way to banish her fears from that event, allowing her to have the confidence to stay with Adrien post-reveal.

Similarly, Adrien just spent a whole season being sad about Ladybug not giving him enough attention, leading up to an episode where Marinette saw that he was suffering and reached out (if only because of magic). I absolutely believe that he'd start falling for Marinette and be less upset with Ladybug post-reveal now that he knows that she has been supporting him all along. He was just looking for support on the wrong side of the mask.

Instead of taking advantage of that setup, canon delayed the flip a few episodes and made it wholly unbelievable. They really give us an episode where Ladynoir got married and had children, followed it up with the episode where the crushes flipped, and then tried to convince us that Marinette was the one who hadn't really fallen in love with Chat Noir. Marinette. The girl whose deepest desire is apparently marriage and children with Chat Noir. But her love isn't real? Really? Yet Adrien is really over Ladybug?

Bull. Shit.

Jubilation is not that setup you go with if Adrienette is your goal. It's the setup for Ladynoir.

Anyway, back to your question! As I detailed above, season five's intro episodes feel like the most obvious place to flip the square. I'd also be interested to see someone do it at Miracle Queen like you discussed, though it would be much less straight forward than season five, making it a better fit for a fanfic than canon in my opinion as I think you'd be hard pressed to do it well within the confines of canon's structure.

My other top choice is Origins because I am a love diamond purist. I think that it's the easiest way to fix a lot of canon's issues. For example: Marinette hanging magazine clippings of her friend/crush all over her walls for all to see with the full knowledge that she actually knows this guy? Kinda weird. Why are you writing it like she has a celebrity crush and not a "real person" crush?

Marinette hanging magazine clippings of her secret hero partner all over her walls? Totally understandable. It's not like she can act like it's a "real person" crush without giving herself away or looking unhinged. Plus how else is she supposed to get pictures of him? It's not like she can take some of her own. That would lead to a lot of awkward questions! She'd also have no reason to think that he'd ever see her shrine. 😈

[beardedjoel]

closer | part seventeen

joel x f!reader. non-apocalypse au.

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3    

chapter summary: your new coworkers discover your relationship with joel, and a night out with them after work results in a distressing situation. afterwards, joel wants to help you make it all better. 9.2k words.

story warnings: 18+ MDNI, age difference (joel is 42 and reader is 25), soft!dom joel, unprotected piv, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, praise kink, joel is so boyfriend this chapter

extra warning: PLEASE READ! this chapter contains a scene of attempted sexual assault, so i understand that’s very sensitive and a bit different than my typical chapter. it’s not an extremely graphic or long scene, but it is there and could be triggering! i’ve put a TW where the scene starts and END TW where the scene ends in case you want to read around it.

You hate the way the days seem to be flying by now - your restful, sexy summer came to an abrupt end when you opened an email from your work one morning, requesting that you start coming to the office as soon as you possibly could. Now, two weeks into it, you’re busier than you’ve been in a long time, trying to balance this new workload that had fallen into your lap. When you’d been working at home, gathering ideas, it was one thing, but now you’re surrounded by a team of people relying on you and your partner, Rayna, to get things up and running smoothly. You have to admit, you two are absolutely kicking ass, but it’s meant a lot of late nights at the office with her and some of your other team members. 

Joel has been almost too supportive through all of this, and you know that he’s holding back his own feelings about seeing you less to encourage you to keep working so hard. You haven’t been seeing each other as often due to both of your work schedules, but you constantly let each other know how much you miss the other. The first few days of work, you were barely coherent, practically sleeping before your head hit the pillow each night, and you felt terrible for being such awful company for Joel when you’d manage to drag yourself over to his house. He reassured you multiple times but the guilt still gnawed at you for the entire week. Things have evened out somewhat, but you miss the carefree days you’d been able to focus only on Joel. You suppose it’s healthier this way, though, to have other focuses in life other than a man.

Just because you’d gotten busier, your appetite for Joel hadn’t dissipated in the least, leaving you an overworked, stressed, horny mess. You both did your best to get your fill of each other over the last two weeks, but it was never enough. It never has been with Joel, and you start to wonder if it ever will be every time you satisfy your craving for him and then feel it come right back again. The hunger you have for that man to drive himself into you at all hours of the day has only grown with your feelings for him, and you have to admit, it adds to your stress just how deeply you feel for him these days. 

The fact that you haven’t found a good time to tell him you love him is just one more thing to gnaw at you in the back of your mind while you’re trying to get your life in order. You know it seems crazy, that after such a short time together you love the man, but every moment you’ve spent with him since the thought crossed your mind has only further proved it to you. 

And you’re terrified of what might happen if you admit it to him.

You’re at work, finishing up a quick meeting with Rayna when your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you see a text from Joel come through.

Joel: Surprise lunch?

You: Maybe… what time?

Joel: … right now

You: What?!

Joel: I might be outside with food for you

You:  😂 okay, Mr. Romantic. Come inside to floor 3, I’ll just be a few minutes

The office space is a rather large, open concept, and you have a clear view of the front through the glass divider that separates your department. Several minutes later you see Joel hesitantly poke his head into the office, looking slightly clueless, and it’s adorable to you for some reason. Maybe it’s that he’s always so in charge of things and confident that whenever you get a chance to see him nervous it melts your heart a little bit. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out for lunch really quick, I’ll be back in a bit,” you tell Rayna, despite knowing you two have nothing scheduled for the next hour for that very reason. 

She gives you a go ahead, so you start heading towards Joel and wave him down, and he flashes you your favorite lopsided smile. He looks like he came right from work, dressed in a paint splattered t-shirt and jeans, carrying a cooler full of food. It’s certainly a sight for sore eyes, you think to yourself, any time you see Joel fresh from work, always looking a little dirtier than usual. Between that and the insatiable need you’ve had for him lately it’s more than enough to make you want to climb him like a tree right here in front of everyone.

You notice several nearby, questioning eyes on you two as you loop your arm in his and head for the elevator.

“Nosy bastards,” Joel murmurs, and you stifle a laugh behind your hand, but nod in agreement. 

“Very much so,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes. “There’s a cool cafeteria space in this building, we can eat there,” you add on while you wait for the elevator doors to open. As soon as you two are inside and the doors slide shut, you throw yourself at Joel, knowing you only have minutes, or even seconds, before the doors open back up. He quickly catches on, despite his surprise, and as your lips clash with his he reciprocates quickly, his free hand that isn’t carrying the cooler cupping your face and bringing you even closer. Your tongues beg for entry in each other’s mouths over and over, as much as time will allow you, but after several beeps of the elevator, you know your time is almost up, so you reluctantly pull away from Joel, keeping one arm snaked around him.

“Fuck,” he breathes, pressing his forehead to yours and looking deeply into your eyes with a lustful gaze. “I’d ask what’s gotten into you, but you’ve always been my insatiable girl, haven’t you?” Joel says, low and inviting. You simply smirk in response as the doors of the elevator open and you step out in front of him, leading him to the large cafeteria space. It’s on a high up floor, boasting a sweeping view of downtown outside of large, glass windows. There’s tables and chairs, refrigerators, and microwaves for any employee in this office building to use, and you’ve tried to eat up here as often as you can to clear your mind and separate yourself from work for at least a little bit of time during the day.

Joel’s eyes scan the room, taking in the views and modern decor, and shoots you an impressed look. 

“Very fancy,” he teases as you sit down at a small, rounded two top table near the windows.

“Fancy girl job calls for a fancy cafeteria,” you reply with a little laugh.

“And look at ya, in your cute little business clothes,” Joel says, scrunching his face proudly as he squeezes your leg under the table. The company you work for is relatively casual with things like the dress code, but you still like to wear clothing that hopefully can help gain the respect of your team, so you’re wearing black slacks and a short sleeved blouse today.

“Does it look okay, really? I feel like a fraud sometimes in these clothes, like I shouldn’t be so in charge of people,” you ask him, tugging anxiously at the collar of your shirt as you look down to inspect your outfit.

“Nah, honey, you deserve it all. And you look great as always. Very professional,” Joel says, giving you a wink, indicating while you may look professional, your behavior moments ago was anything but. You bite your lip with warming cheeks at the recollection as Joel starts pulling out the lunch he made for you two to share - a salad, potato chips, and something wrapped in foil, which he shyly admits is a grilled cheese, something you’d told him once you love eating.

“How the hell did you even manage to make a grilled cheese and get all the way here by lunch time?” you ask incredulously.

“We got a toaster oven on site, so I whipped this up real quick before comin’ here. Hope it stayed warm ‘nuff for ya,” he tells you, and you shake your head, in complete disbelief that Joel is a real, living, breathing, walking thing that you have the pleasure of having in your life.

“Thank you,” you manage to say, unwrapping the grilled cheese sandwich and biting into it. While not hot, it’s managed to stay warm and you tell Joel as much, a bit of relief passing over his face at hearing it.

“You look stressed, darlin’,” Joel says, his brows pinching together in concern.

“I’m always stressed now,” you say, propping your head in your hand, letting a long sigh escape you.

“Anythin’ I can do to help?”

“This right here is amazing,” you say, gesturing to the lunch spread out on the table. “Just getting to see you. And…I guess there’s something else,” you trail off, biting your lip, flashing Joel your best version of bedroom eyes. Joel’s interest is clearly piqued as he leans forward, a cocky smile pulling at his lips.

“And… what else, darlin’?”

You lean forward, glancing into Joel’s eyes but lowering them at the last second out of embarrassment. “I…need you,” you say, knowing you’re being vague but also knowing that Joel will get the message.

Joel laughs heartily before taking one of your hands in his across the table. “We can arrange somethin’, I s’pose.” he says.

“Oh, you suppose?” you say with a dramatic scoff.

“Sweetheart, don’t act like I wouldn’t take you right now on this damn table in front of everyone,” Joel retorts quickly, a little bite to his voice that has you fighting the urge to squirm in your seat. He drops your hand and sits back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“J-joel,” you breathe, glancing around the room as your face heats up with the sudden rush you feel. The image he described flashes through your mind, sending a pang of desire straight down between your legs. You just might be desperate enough to not care if he really did end up doing that.

“What? You gonna start this, don’t be mad when I try ‘n finish it,” he says. “You know I don’t stand for any teasin’, darlin’. Walkin’ in dangerous territory now, ain’t ya.”

You meet Joel’s gaze, intensity flaring in his eyes, and make a decision that definitely goes against your morals, but desperate times, and all of that.

“I think I saw a supply closet on the way here…” you mumble, and the smirk Joel gives you is worth any guilt you might be feeling about your unethical desires right now.

“C’mon baby, probably all wet already for me, aren’t you?” he asks with his voice low, his eyes drifting over your body hungrily. He stands up, collecting everything from the table into his cooler bag and offering you his hand. He drags you along, seeming to already have spotted the closet for himself, and it almost makes you laugh that you both had the same idea on the way to the cafeteria. He ushers you inside of the closet, a small, cramped space with shelves lined with all kinds of cleaning supplies and back-ups of toiletries for the bathrooms.

“Gonna be quiet, or let everyone here know how good you take my cock, hm?” Joel says, cupping your face with his hand and leaning in, brushing his lips over your cheek. You melt instantly, breathing in the familiar, musky scent of him and already feel your knees wanting to buckle underneath you. It’s like coming home when he gets this close to you, and you could fall into its trap a million times and never tire of it.

“Whichever you want,” you breathe out, the picture of submission as you let him press you into the wall and kiss you.

“What I want… is a taste of that sweet little pussy of yours. Been missin’ it,” Joel grumbles into your lips, and you press your hips forward, begging him to do what he’s telling you. As his lips clash with yours again, he unbuttons your pants, sliding a hand down into them and past the fabric of your underwear. Joel lets out a low sound of approval at the slickness he gathers on his fingers, rubbing them through your slit and beginning tight circles on your clit. You’ve had so much pent up sexual frustration towards him the last few days that you nearly combust right then, a strangled cry flying out of your mouth before you can stop it.

“Christ, baby, so fuckin’ needy… gonna make me crazy,” Joel murmurs, “You miss me this much?” he asks, pulling his fingers up to inspect how they shine and glisten with your arousal. You nod furiously, back arching you into him, begging for anything from him now.

“I do…P-please, I’ll do anything, just touch me.”

Joel considers your words for a moment, his cock getting harder just from hearing the way you beg for him. It satisfies some little itch inside of him every time the words please pass your lips when it comes to his cock. He groans internally at the feeling of how hard he’s getting, how he’s straining against his jeans, knowing he doesn’t have all the time he truly desires to get you off right now. 

He crouches in front of you, pulling your pants down and helping you step out of them, along with your underwear, revealing your already throbbing, glistening cunt to him, eliciting a hungry growl from Joel. He grips the back of one of your thighs, throwing it over his shoulder before he buries himself between your legs, his tongue not wasting any time lapping up all the desire you’re pouring out for him. Joel moans deeply into your cunt, and in that moment you know, despite his typically calm and cool facade, he’s been just as sexually frustrated as you. You’re relishing in the way his mouth feels right now, but you know that with the little time you have left on your lunch, you want nothing more than to bring him pleasure, too.

“J-joel,” you say quietly, tugging at his hair.

“Feels so good baby, don’t it?” he murmurs, his lips immediately going to suck on your clit. Your eyes roll back, and you try to get your bearings enough to tell him to stop that and fuck you, but it’s hard now that you feel so close to the edge, your core tightening and burning with a coming climax.

“N-no, Joel… stop. I want you… to…”

Joel hears the word ‘no’ and immediately pulls himself off of you, peering up at you with questioning eyes. When you see the sight of your slickness coating his beard, his flushed face and glistening eyes, you nearly tell him to stick his face right back where it was instead.

“You okay? Did I hurt you?” Joel asks, his hand gently gripping onto your leg in concern.

“N-no of course not,” you say, shaking your head and catching your breath a little. “I just… we don’t have a lot of time, I want you inside of me,” you say sheepishly.

Joel’s lips curl into a smirk before he stands up, towering over you once again. You hook your fingers into his belt loops and bring him closer, feeling his cock grind against you through his jeans.

“This what you want?” Joel grinds against you again, situating his pants to free his cock, and it springs free, hard and throbbing between you two. Your eyes practically glaze over at the sight of it, having thought about him inside of you endlessly for the last few days.

“So cock hungry, look at you… what a sight, angel,” Joel leans forward, nipping at your bottom lip and you whimper when his cock brushes your bare skin between your legs.

“N-need you to fuck me Joel, can’t stop thinking about it.” You roll your hips into him with carnal need, and Joel teases your slit, rubbing his cock through your slick folds. Your hips convulse forward slightly as he passes over your throbbing clit several times, moans already coming out of your mouth as he devastates you with the barest of touches.

“You been touchin’ yourself, sweetheart? Just tryna get rid of that ache for me?”

You shake your head, “N-no, not really. Just a little. Wanted to save it all for you.”

“Oh, baby, that’s why you’re about to come all over this cock before I barely do a damn thing, ain’t it?” You simply nod your answer, sweating and whimpering for him to do more, more, more. He obliges you, resting the head of his cock at your entrance. “Much as I like you to be all mine, you gotta promise me you’ll take care of yourself whenever you need. Call me if you gotta, m’kay?” He pinches the side of your face, planting several kisses on your lips before Joel once again lifts one of your legs up, curling his arm under it to hold you steady as he slides himself into you. Both of your groans of relief fill the otherwise soundless room, panting breaths added into the mix as he starts to move slowly inside of you.

“God, baby, I missed this perfect little pussy,” Joel purrs, his body pressed right into yours, the curves of your body fitting perfectly together. His head buries in your neck as he thrusts into you, and you let out a quiet whimper, relishing in the sensation of him stretching you. “Tell me it’s all mine.”

“Yours, Joel, I’m all yours,” you whisper right next to his ear, and he shudders, letting out a gratified growl while his hips start to move more urgently into you. He fucks you into the wall aggressively, thrusting to the hilt each time, too focused on how good it feels to say any of his usual, teasing phrases to you.

“F-fuck sweetheart, I’m already gonna come, you feel so fuckin’ good and tight around me,” Joel whimpers, and moments later, he’s bucking his hips into you hard, spilling himself deep into your cunt with a groan. He takes a few deep breaths, coming back to reality after his climax, and his eyes widen, looking down at you. “Shit, sorry,” he says, pulling out of you quickly and stepping back before tucking himself back into his jeans.

“Hey, it’s alright,” you say, trying to rub his shoulder reassuringly.

“Just… been needin’ you, I guess,” Joel smirks a little, but you can tell he’s feeling embarrassed about the fact that he came before you had a chance to get off. 

“Been needing you,” you echo back, and Joel slides his body against yours again and dips his head to your neck, kissing you teasingly as you grind yourself against him shamelessly. 

“Think I can help with that…” Joel says, resuming his spot on his knees in front of you with a leg over his shoulder. “Gorgeous, baby,” he coos as he sees your cunt up close, slick with your own desire and his leaking out of you.

His mouth is on you again in a heartbeat, shamelessly licking up everything with vigor and moaning into your pussy as it flutters around nothing, desperate for release. “Feel this little hole squeezin’ for me, baby, you want me in there?”

“Fuck,” you groan out at his enthusiasm, “Yes, yes p-please.”

Joel inserts two fingers up to the furthest knuckle and you cry out, thrusting yourself onto his fingers and into his mouth to urge him deeper than he can possibly go right now. 

“Killin’ me baby,” Joel purrs into your skin, “Bet you’d take this whole fuckin’ hand if I wanted you to.”

“Anything,” you say, breathing out an affirmation and continuing your unapologetic bounces onto his hand and face as you chase your high, his tongue flicking your clit rapidly along the way. You moan out loudly, then slap a hand over your mouth, remembering your surroundings. Shit, you hope nobody heard that and comes investigating. What a sight they would see if they opened this door right now, you think to yourself.

When his fingers start to curl inside of you, Joel begins sucking on your clit, and you have to bite down hard, grinding your teeth together, to try to dampen some of the absolutely filthy, ungodly sounds coming out of you. He pumps his fingers against that perfect spot inside of you and you lose control completely, legs turning to jelly and wobbling underneath you. 

“Ohhh my god,” you whimper into your fist, your entire body trembling as Joel continues the same pattern over and over, sensing how close you are to reaching the crest of your pleasure. You feel all your senses except for the feeling of Joel’s mouth and hand fade out, and you moan, throaty and low, into your clenched fist, biting down hard enough to draw blood as you shudder your hips downwards, pushing him into you as you ride out the waves of pleasure that are wracking your body now. 

Your head thumps back against the wall as you come down, and Joel stands up to meet you, giving you a boastful smile. He blatantly wipes all evidence of your encounter off of his face and beard, looking at you with such adoration in his dark eyes that it makes your heart swell. Joel tucks a strand of hair behind your ears before kissing you on the forehead.

“Thank you,” you murmur. “Best lunch ever.”

You see Rayna doing her best not to stare at you as you settle back in at your desk, praying that your face isn’t giving you away, that post-orgasm glow hopefully wiped clean off by now.

“Nice lunch?” she asks, chipper as always.

“Mhm,” you say, swinging your voice upwards on the last part, trying to echo her same positive demeanor. You immediately focus your attention down on your computer, trying to get back into the swing of your workday, tugging at the hem of your clothing, making sure everything is properly in place.

In your periphery you see Rayna clench and unclench her fists where they hover above her keyboard, and when you glance up to her eyes, they’re boring into you with an amused sparkle.

“Come on…” she says, eyebrows going up her forehead. “Who was that? Everyone is talking about it.”

“Everyone as in…everyone in the whole office, or everyone as in the usual suspects?” you quip back. The usual suspects being Rayna, obviously, Heather, Cade, and Alex from your department, and Leah and Vince from the financial department. You’d become the most tight knit with them of anyone here, working closely together on a lot of the projects you’d all been assigned to lately.

“The… usual suspects, of course,” Rayna admits, and as if on cue, Heather and Alex filter into the area, carrying mugs of tea from the kitchen.

“Okay, did you ask her yet?” Heather says to Rayna, and her eyes go wide in response.

“I’m trying to,” Rayna says through gritted teeth just as Leah and Vince slip into the room, shortly followed by Alex, all of them seeming to have a similar question. You watch on, amused at how much commotion you and Joel are causing.

“Guys, this is insane,” you chide them all as they gather around you.

“Is that your like… boyfriend or something?” Cade asks, and you avert your eyes, feeling your body heat rise several degrees at their questioning. You had never been trying to hide Joel, you just hadn’t quite gotten that personal with everyone yet. You didn’t know how they’d react to the age difference between you and Joel, so you’d wanted to get to know them a bit better before revealing anything about him. It was safe to say they’d all turned out to be open minded, kind, and never averse to sharing some of their own personal details, so you figured it was time to jump in.

“Y-yeah, I guess you could say that,” you admit shyly, and they all burst into quiet hysterics, murmurs of “told you so’s” and “oh my god’s” between all of them.

“Details!” Leah says demandingly, placing a hand on your desk and leaning forward. Everyone is pulling up chairs, and you start laughing loudly.

“Shouldn’t we be working?”

“Still got five minutes or so left on my lunch, so chop chop,” Cade replies, looking down at his watch impatiently. “He was so hot, and if I don’t get to hear any more about this in the next five minutes I’m going to be so mad at you.”

“Oh-kay. We’re seeing each other. His name is Joel,” you say, eliciting excited “ooh’s” from your little crowd. “That’s literally it! I don’t know what you want from me.” You throw your hands up in a feigned giving up gesture.

“Isn’t he like, old?” Vince says snidely, finally joining the conversation. You like Vince, and for that reason, you hadn’t told anybody about the way he’d pulled you aside for a private conversation and asked you out after about a week of working together. It felt awful to reject him, and at the time you were keeping things quiet about your personal life, so you hadn’t said you were seeing anyone. In hindsight it would have made more sense to just say you were, but you suppose at least he was able to understand a little bit better now about your rejection. It had made things slightly more awkward between you, but you’d been willing to move on if he was. For the most part, it seemed like he had been too, except for a few select moments like right now when you could see the frustration come out.

“I mean, kind of,” you say with a chuckle and a shrug. You decide to ignore his comment and vow to yourself to confront him if it continues.

“Okay, but how old?” Rayna asks, her eyes lighting up with intrigue.

“He’s forty-two,” you reply, and once again, the group is in hysterics over your answer.

“Well, he’s hot,” Leah concludes, and Cade, Rayna, Heather, and even Alex, agree. “Good job,” she adds, garnering more enthusiastic nods from the group.

“T-thank… you?” you say with a laugh.

“Can we all go out for drinks after work? I need to hear more, but my lunch is over,” Rayna says, frowning, and you consider it for a few moments, but realizing you don’t have anything on your agenda tonight, it might be fun to blow off some steam.

“Sure, if everyone else is in,” you reply, and each person, including Vince, who you’d doubted would want to hear more about Joel, agrees to the plan. Leah squeals excitedly and heads back to her desk, full of energy. The rest of the day flies by, all of you seeming to work faster with the promise of a fun evening ahead of you. 

All of you funnel into a bar down the street from your office in great spirits, also having invited a few more coworkers to join you. You all order drinks at the bar and settle in, and Rayna instantly links her arm through yours.

“Alright, you know what we’re here for,” she says. The rest of the group who’d been interrogating you earlier quickly gathers around you at a high top table near the bar. The only person you don’t notice at first is Vince, who comes breezing in late, and stands nearby but not as involved in the conversation. You suppose you don’t blame him for not wanting every detail of your relationship with Joel. 

“Don’t waste any time, do you guys?” you reply cheekily, and they all sip their drinks, clearly just waiting for you to go on. “What do you even want to know?” you ask, a playful irritation cropping up.

“Anything, like… what’s the deal with you two?

“He lives next to my parents, so that’s how we met. We just kind of clicked, I guess. Which was lucky for me because I was practically obsessed with him.”

“Is he like a sugar daddy or something?” Alex teases, and you laugh, pushing him hard on the arm.

“No, nothing like that. He’s a contractor, so he like, builds stuff.”

“Very sexy,” Cade chimes in, nodding his head in approval.

“It is,” you say with a sigh, picturing the way Joel had looked in his work clothes earlier.

“Well, lucky you. We had no idea you had a boyfriend,” Leah says, downing her mojito faster by the minute. She obviously needed a night out more than the rest of you.

“I didn’t know if I should say… it’s been a little unconventional, I guess. My parents only found out a few weeks ago, and that was weird, since they’re around his age.”

Leah chokes on her drink. “He’s your parents’ age?!”

“My parents are pretty young, yeah. I hadn’t really thought about it too hard when Joel and I first got together, but… uh, oops, I guess,” you reply. 

“You dirty little dog,” Leah says, shaking her head and doubling over in laughter. “Well, we’re all really happy for you,” she concludes, smiling more sincerely now.

“Seriously. You caused the biggest stir the office has seen yet, sending a guy like that into our lobby,” Rayna says, fake fanning herself at the memory of Joel.

“He came to see you for lunch today, then? That’s so cute,” Leah says, ever the romantic, her eyes going starry and wide at Joel’s gesture.

“Mhm,” you say nervously, thinking about how you and Joel did much more than eat lunch today. You know they probably would love all the dirty details based on their reactions today, but you just can’t risk anything with how well this job is going so well. 

“Well you tell Joel, he can do that any time he wants, but he has to come and say hello next time,” Rayna chirps, and you shake your head, throwing back some of your fruity cocktail.

“I’m sure he’d love to be interrogated by all of you,” you say, dripping in sarcasm.

You all crack jokes and gossip for a while, trying to avoid any work talk, before ordering another round and repeating more of the same. When you’re waiting at the bar for your next drink, Vince sidles up next to you, leaning onto the bar with his forearms.

“If you think people don’t realize what you did today, you’re kidding yourself,” Vince says without warning, raising an unimpressed eyebrow at you.

“What are you talking about?” you ask, trying not to panic and give anything away. While you have a sinking feeling you know exactly what he’s talking about, you don’t want to jump to any conclusions and ruin any secrecy you still have.

“Come on,” Vince replies, shaking his head. “Coming back from lunch, looking like that. Could practically see it all over your face.”

“I’m just… I was happy to see Joel, that’s all. I don’t know if you’re implying what I think you are, but you’d better be careful what you’re accusing me of.” The bartender slides your drink over, and you try to give them a smile and polite thank you before turning your attention back to the conversation.

“No, you’d better be careful,” Vince snaps. “So maybe I did follow you two up there, hoping to see if you’re as lovesick for the guy as I’d been afraid of. Thought I’d see if there was still a chance, it was stupid, I know,” he says a little more softly, before his brow furrows. “But imagine my surprise when I didn’t see you two anywhere, and I heard something from down the hall…” Vince trails off, leaving you to fill in the details. 

You pale and freeze instantly, your hand gripping the glass of your cocktail firmly. 

“Vince, I seriously don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say with a bite - one last, hopeful attempt to deflect his accusations.

His hand moves in a flash and grips your free wrist tightly. “If you’re going to be a whore, at least own up to it,” he says, and you blink hard, your mouth popping open but unable to make any noise for a few stunned moments. 

“E-excuse me?”

He simply glances at you, holding a steady gaze. “Just saying,” he says, as if that’s any excuse for the vile words he just spit at you.

“Just saying what? That I’m a whore?” you say with a scornful laugh. It’s almost comical, whatever this side of him is that you’ve uncovered - the drunk, angry side that seems to be coming out of the woodwork this summer with these men. First Chris, now Vince, and you’re starting to wonder just what the hell is going on. Something about Joel seems to bring it out of them, and you’re tired of taking the brunt of it, quite frankly.

“That I could report you to someone. I mean, not the most ethical thing to fuck around with your boyfriend while you’re working.”

You sigh and press your lips tightly together, rubbing a hand over your eyes.

“Okay, so it wasn’t. But it’s not like it hurt anyone, so the fact that you’re sitting here threatening me over it feels a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Woah, threatening sounds like such a strong word.” Vince lets out a little laugh, and it really pisses you off that he’s getting any sort of entertainment out of your misfortune right now.

“Vince, you’re clearly drunk. You’ve been drinking way more than anyone here, and I get you might still be upset that I didn’t go out with you, but this seems way out of line.”

“Out of line to me would be getting off when you’re at work, but maybe that’s just me…” Vince muses with a head in his hand, still clearly very entertained by himself.

“Alright, I’m leaving,” you say, having decided it doesn’t seem worth the fight at this point. You drop some cash on the bar and pick up your bag, hustling your way out. You notice Leah giving you a concerned glance, but you simply wave at her, silently promising to text them as soon as you can to let them know why you left. You’d kept Vince’s secret before, but this time he’d gone too far, let some dark side of himself come out just to fuck with you, and you didn’t feel like playing nice anymore.

// TW //

The air outside hits you as you burst the door open, thick and warm as the dusk colored light surrounds you in the sky above. You walk with purpose, your feet moving you quickly back the few blocks towards the office where your car is parked - at the least you hope to blow off some steam on the way there. You’re only a few steps from the bar when a hand grabs your wrist and pulls you back, stopping you in your tracks, and you audibly groan when you turn and see Vince looking at you, his blue eyes full of a pleading hope.

“Please, I’m sorry,” he whines, and you try to shake his wrist off. “Just come back inside.”

“Leave me alone, seriously.”

He pulls you close to him by the wrist and you wriggle your hand, trying to slide out of his grip, but it’s too tight. You realize you aren’t quite strong enough to pull him along, so you resort to placing your other hand over his and trying to pry his fingers off of you.

“Let me go,” you say sternly, but Vince doesn't seem to hear you. You feel a wave of nausea roll through you, your body naturally revolting against the situation for you.

“I just… I heard you today, and I knew it was you, I could tell those fucking noises had to be you, and it pissed me off. I was so jealous - I think you’re beautiful, and funny, and smart, and I wanted that to be me.”

You scoff, collecting your thoughts for a moment. “Well, it’s not, and I’m awfully sorry about that,” you say, dripping your voice in sarcasm. “Doesn’t mean you get to treat me like shit.”

He places his other hand over the one that’s actively trying to pry you off of him and wraps his fingers around it. “Should’ve been me,” he says before swinging you against the brick of the building, your back hitting it hard despite trying to stop the movement on your heels. The element of surprise had been on his side and you wince as your back throbs. “Wanted to hear those sounds for myself, because of me… just give me a chance.” 

Vince crushes his lips into yours, his tongue sloppily begging for entry into your mouth, and you grunt loudly, jerking your head to the side so that his lips are off yours, but he continues kissing your face, trying to trail down to your neck.

“You’re fucking drunk, just let me leave.” You scowl hard but it turns to a panicked grimace as he crowds in even closer, the smell of alcohol on his breath overwhelming you as he continues trying to kiss you, grinding his body into you. When his fingers brush the hem of your shirt, you find your senses again, realizing it’s now or never. You shove him off of you as hard as you can, kicking a leg into his, and he stumbles back in his drunken stupor. 

You slide out from the wall and start to dig in your purse as you quickly move away, looking for your phone. You knew you should have started carrying pepper spray again, you’d just not thought to replace the one you lost in your move to Austin yet, and a silent curse goes through you for that now. Your legs are shaking underneath you, not moving you as quickly as you want, and you feel tears pricking at your eyes as the adrenaline fades slightly.

// END TW //

“Hey, asshole!” you suddenly hear, and you glance over your shoulder to see Leah chasing Vince who is chasing you down. She grabs him by the shoulder and he whirls around on her, sending her stumbling back now, but you rush back to help before he can potentially hurt her. “What the fuck!” she yells as she pushes Vince off of her. He stops moving, breathing heavily with his hands on his knees. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles, seeming to snap out of whatever insanity he’d entered moments ago. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“That was fucked up, you know. I felt like something was off, so I came out here to check on you, and I just saw everything,” Leah says angrily, taking a few steps back from Vince. You go to Leah, gripping her arm with your trembling hands and looking her over.

“You okay?” you ask her quietly, and she nods, not taking her eyes off of Vince.

“What the hell do we do about this?” she asks, gesturing to Vince, who now is whining loudly about how sorry he is. 

“Fuck if I know,” you say, your mind still reeling from the hellish interaction with him.

“Vince, you should just go home. Cool off for a bit then call an Uber or something,” Leah suggests, a bit more even tempered this time.

He looks at you, making spotty eye contact before mouthing your name. “Sorry, really. I don’t - fuck. I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?”

“Everything meaning what I thought was starting to be a nice friendship? Yes. Consider that over,” you tell him, feeling somewhat heartless for the comment, but needing him to fully understand there isn’t a chance you’d want to continue any kind of relationship with him.

He meanders over to and sits on a curb nearby. “I get it,” he says back at you two, and Leah puts an arm around you protectively. 

“Vince, we’re leaving you, maybe you can sober up and talk some more about it, but for now… just… fucking leave it, okay?” Leah says, guiding you back inside the bar. You finally feel your heart rate slowing as she rubs your shoulder, checking in on you with a concerned look on her face.

“I’ll be alright,” you assure her with a weak smile. The amount of processing your mind is trying to get through right now has you nearly feeling dizzy.

“I’m going to talk to Rayna, we’ll take care of everything, make sure you don’t have to work with that asshole again.”

Your entire face softens at her proposition and the care behind it. You throw your arms around her, squeezing her tightly into a hug that she returns with equal enthusiasm. “Thank you,” you murmur into her shoulder.

“Who should we call? Joel?” she asks, pulling out of the hug, and your eyes go wide, realizing you’ll have to explain all of this to Joel. “I don’t want you to drive right now, but we’re all way too tipsy to drive you anywhere right now.”

“Y-yeah, I’ll call him,” you say, swallowing hard. Leah steps away to give you privacy and heads back to the table full of your coworkers, close enough to keep an eye on you. You can see the immediate reaction from all of them, leaning in close as she explains what’s going on. You take out your phone, pulling up Joel’s contact information.

“Hey, baby.” He picks up on the second ring, his voice smooth and relaxed as he greets you, the juxtaposition to your own mood making you clam up suddenly.

“Hey…” you say timidly. Use your words, you chant to yourself internally. 

“What’s goin’ on? You off work?”

“Uh, yeah, I am. I just… can you come get me?”

“Of course,” he says without missing a beat, his tone sobering up to match yours a bit more. “What’s wrong, darlin’?” 

“There was… something happened with a coworker, and I’m kind of tipsy, I just can’t drive right now.” 

“Already on my way,” he says, and you hear his keys jingling in the background as he opens the door to his car and starts it. “What happened? Please, sweetheart, talk to me ‘fore I go crazy with wonderin’.”

“He… tried to come on to me. I-I don’t know what he was going to do to me…” you say, feeling robotic as the words come out of you. 

“What. Happened.” Joel’s voice is at an angry staccato now, and you can picture his hands gripping the wheel tightly as he panics at your words.

“N-nothing did happen. Just a close call. Hurt my back a little bit, I think,” you tell him, feeling the ache in your back reminding you just how hard Vince had handled you at one point.

“Fucking hell, baby,” Joel says with a deep sigh. “I’m comin’ to you. Are you somewhere safe?”

You nod, your eyes feeling hazy and tired all of a sudden, then remember he can’t see you right now. “Yes, I’m safe. I’m inside with everyone else.”

“Good. Stay there ‘til I can get to you. Send me the address, baby, okay? I’m comin’,” Joel says.

“O-okay,” you say quietly, ending the call and texting Joel the name of the bar as quickly as you can.

Your coworkers comfort you in the meantime, seconding Leah’s promise that you won’t have to see Vince anymore. They’re all dumbstruck, not having seen it coming that he could act like that, but you just shrug, wondering if there were some red flags you’d missed trying to be a kind, welcoming person to him.

Joel pulls up in his truck in record time, tires screeching in front of the bar. He texts you that he’s arrived and you go out the door but freeze when you see Vince still sitting on the curb. Joel tries waving you over as he gets out of his truck, but he follows your eyeline to Vince and you sense his energy change immediately, even from afar. Vince scrambles up, clearly having sobered up in the last half hour or so as he sat here feeling sorry for himself. When he sees Joel, he fills in the blanks that you’ve told him what happened, and realizes just how intimidatingly big Joel is up close.

“Is this the one?” he asks, cocking his head and not taking his eyes off of Vince, who is now slowly backing away.

“Shit, I - I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I’m stupid and drunk, s-swear,” he sputters out before you can even answer. Joel doesn’t back down, reaching Vince more quickly than he’s expecting and grabbing him by the shirt collar.

“You see that fucking girl over there? Hm?” Joel says, using his other hand to grab Vince’s chin and point his head in your direction. You stand, teeth grinding together anxiously as you watch this unfold in front of you. “Don’t you ever fuckin’ talk to her again, or even think ‘bout her, for that matter. You leave her the hell alone. You got it?” Joel forcefully turns Vince’s head back to look him in the eye.

Vince gulps visibly and closes his eyes as they meet Joel’s, nodding. “Jesus man, just let me go. All I did was try to talk to her.” Vince squeals as Joel’s grip tightens on him. You feel yourself tense with anger at his lie, knowing that things could have gotten much worse if you hadn’t landed that kick on him and gotten away when you did, or if Leah hadn’t shown up to check on you.

“We both know that ain’t true,” Joel tuts. “She owes you absolutely fuckin’ nothin’, don’t forget that. In case you get any ideas again,” Joel says, releasing both of his hands and letting Vince fall back. 

“C’mon, darlin’. Let’s get out of here,” Joel says, his voice completely changed, soft and warm in your direction as he rushes over and takes you into his arms, guiding you to his car. You shoot a last, bitter glance at Vince, who is running his hand through his hair, turning to walk away. The frustration he has at himself is clearly visible in the way he’s carrying himself now. You almost want to feel sorry for him, knowing he made such a big mistake, and he does seem to regret it. But you can’t feel that sorry when you know he was stopped short, not knowing just how far he would’ve gone to get what he was searching for tonight. Maybe he was more sorry he got caught, you wonder. You sigh, shaking your head at the sight of him before climbing into Joel’s truck. Good fucking riddance.

Joel speeds off, hands gripping the wheel tightly as you cruise down the highway, back towards his house. You finally feel the pure disappointment of the situation sink in on you, heavy and burdensome on your soul.

“I said nothing happened… but that’s not true. He tried to kiss me,” you say. “Well, he did, I guess. He did kiss me. And tried…my shirt…” you trail off, feeling your eyes glaze over a little as you try to recount every detail of what went down, finding that it’s making you feel immediately sick.

Joel’s body tenses even further next to you, so tight that you worry he might snap at any moment. “S’okay, baby. It’s all over now,” he says, amazingly calm and controlled for the way his body language is screaming the very opposite. You resort to staring out the window for the duration of the drive back, watching the familiar sights as you enter into the suburbs, finding a small comfort in the routine of it all.

He brings you inside of your apartment instead of his house, immediately getting you settled on your bed. He starts to dig through your drawers, muttering to himself.

“Where is it…” he says quietly, before finally pulling out a white shirt, then grabbing a pair of pajama shorts. 

“Alright, let’s put these on, okay?” Joel says, handing you the t-shirt of his he gave you weeks ago, the Texas Longhorns one you love so much. You grip it to your chest and feel the ghost of a smile on your lips for the first time in what feels like hours.

You change out of your work clothes and into the pajamas Joel had brought over to you, already feeling a sliver better just having some of your comfort clothing hugging your body now. The shirt had long since stopped smelling like Joel, but the presence of him emanating from it was more than enough. Joel sits down gingerly next to you, snuggling you into his chest.

“What do you need, baby? Anything at all,” he says quietly, the deep rumble of his chest near you another comforting balm to your weariness.

“Just… be here with me. That was so… fucking scary. I’m so angry, but I also… feel like I can’t even feel anything right now. Why did he…?” You exhale long and slow. “Did I miss some sign that this would happen? Was I too busy trying to be fucking nice to him? Trying to be agreeable with everyone at work when he’d make comments?”

“No, of course not, darlin’. You’re a sweet girl, you are.  But that ain’t what brought this on. That’s all on him,” Joel assures you, shaking his head in frustration at the situation.

“He asked me out, Joel. Weeks ago. I said no, of course,” you start, shooting Joel an affirming glance. “He’s made some comments since then, nothing crazy. I thought he’d moved on from it, but sometimes he’d… take things too far. Comments about my looks, what I was wearing. I shouldn’t have ignored it.”

“It’s not on you to decide all of that. He was the one who did it, not you. Best not to analyze yourself to death, we’d be here all night pickin’ it all apart, wouldn’t we? Let’s just focus on movin’ on, gettin’ you feelin’ better for right now.” Joel holds you for a few moments before shifting where he sits.

“Want me to run you a bath? Get you somethin’ to eat? Watch shitty TV with you? Anything, please, baby, I’m at a loss here.” Joel holds you tightly, seemingly afraid to let go of his grip on you, worried if he does, the fragile thing he’s seeing you as right now will fall apart completely.

“It’s okay, Joel. You don’t always have to have all the answers,” you say, smiling a little at how hard he’s trying right now. “You already did so much - coming to get me, being there for me right now. Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome darlin’,” Joel says. “Why don’t you shower, and I’ll get this bed all ready for us to watch some Lover’s Paradise, how’s that sound?”

You crack another much needed smile and tell him it sounds great, heading to the bathroom to take an overly hot shower, trying to scrub the frustration off of your body as you let the hot water pummel your skin. Joel was right, you do feel better after stepping out of the steamy bathroom all lotioned up in your favorite scent and back in his t-shirt, opting to go without the shorts this time. You’ve found that you feel sexiest in just his shirt like this, and you’re feeling the need for some of that confidence right now. 

“Look at ya, all fresh and pretty,” Joel says with a playful wink, and you practically launch yourself at him where he lays propped up on your bed, latching yourself onto his body, wrapping your limbs around him as much as possible. 

“I grabbed snacks, sorry for raidin’ your cabinets,” Joel says, showing you the things he’d pulled from your growing candy and sweets collection. You snatch the Twizzlers bag from his hand and pull one out, munching at it absentmindedly as Joel flicks the TV back to life, having already pulled up an episode of Lover’s Paradise for you two. 

“This is all perfect Joel, thank you,” you say, looking up from where your head rests at the crook of his neck to find his eyes. 

“You feelin’ any better?” he asks.

You nod with a small smile, finding that the sting from tonight has lessened a bit with all of his care. Joel lets you just be - eating candy and throwing comments at the screen while you two watch animatedly, laughing at all the romantic drama the contestants find themselves entangled in. 

“Remember the first time we did this, first time I came over here?” Joel asks suddenly into your silence after you’ve finished two episodes. 

“Mhm,” you mutter sleepily, nodding into his chest. 

“Knew you’d ruin me for sure that night,” he says with a small chuckle. “When we said we’d stay on each other’s minds, promised to keep doin’ all this. I was done for.”

“I knew the minute I saw you mowing your stupid lawn,” you say with a laugh shared by Joel. “So fucking hot,” you murmur, shaking your head at the memory. 

“You thought so? Maybe I was puttin’ on a little show for you,” Joel says cheekily. 

“Knew it, nobody looks that good mowing their lawn unless it’s to impress somebody,” you reply, tracing a hand down Joel’s torso. You place a few kisses onto his chest with the fabric of his t-shirt in the way, and your hand snakes even lower to his belt line, fiddling with his waistband tantalizingly.

“Baby... Never wanna say no to ya, but I think you should just rest tonight. Look at you, barely keepin’ your eyes open right now.”

Joel’s right, you are half asleep, but right now you just want to feel good. You know he can give that to you in an instant, he can turn your world upside down with his fingers or tongue or cock, and you’ll forget all about the shit that went down tonight. He could give that to you, but you know that after it’s all said and done, you’ll still have to process all the emotions you’re feeling, so you opt to simply nod your head in agreement with Joel. 

“Fine. First thing tomorrow, though. Want you to make me feel good,” you say quietly, your face smushed into his chest. 

“Promise, baby, first thing this cock is all yours,” Joel replies with an amused chuckle. “Don’t think you know what you’re askin’ for,” he adds quickly with a lower, darker tone. You pause, realizing that Joel is asking for consent in his own way, making sure what he has in mind is alright so that he doesn’t cross any boundaries you aren’t willing to. You feel a swell of pride and respect that he wants to do that for you, especially after what happened tonight.

“I know exactly what I’m asking for,” you reply, and Joel’s lips curl up into a devious smile. 

And so you begin counting the minutes until you can sleep, knowing what awaits you when you wake is going to be very worth the wait.

taglist: @paleidiot @mumma-moonchild @soph55​ @chicville03​ @joelsversion @feliciab1990  @fellinfromthetop @gossipgirl-03 @sarap-77  @blueseastorm

sorry some of the tags were being weird i tried my best i’m kinda new to tag lists! message to let me know if yours didn’t work i’m sorry!

[callmewrinkles3]

Electric touch - BF x Fem!OC

Summary: All Blake wanted was to drag his best friends out for a night to have a couple of drinks and take their minds off the shitshow that was the last year. And then he met the love of his life. The continuation of this little drabble.

Warnings: Alcohol, talk of sexual situations, Dan and Em being disgustingly cute, a lot of swearing because that's Charlie.

Words: 7.2k

A/N: Hello kiddos! Its been a while, we know. We're gonna be back with more later, but meanwhile a little surprise. This is probably a one-time-only kind of thing inside this mess of a universe we created. But the important part its we're posting it but its totally dedicated to the sweet @a-distantdreamer. For reading every single thing we make and being the sweetest, AND because its her birthday. Have a happy happy one, darling Georgia.🫶🏻🥳

The warm December air didn’t help, but it wasn’t the reason Charlie felt like her skin was on fire. The summer sun may have set even though it was still warm, but each of her nerves was ablaze thanks to the cute, tall man standing right beside her. Blake was still blushing because of some signal that Daniel - holy shit it was Daniel Ricciardo - and Em made at him as he walked her out the front of the bar. Charlie couldn’t help but grin as she looked at him.

She knew it wasn’t normal to feel like that three hours after meeting him but she couldn’t help it. He was handsome and sweet, an absolute gentleman who was funny and smart, and the sound when he laughed was quite possibly her new favorite thing in the world.

He was adorable and all Charlie wanted to do was grab his cheeks and press kisses against his entire face. The few drinks she had weren’t enough to give her the courage to do it. She was on the sober side of tipsy, and she’d never forgive herself if she ruined things. Instead, she decided to stay on her side, waiting for Blake to give her a sign to act.

While waiting for her taxi, they stood there, Blake's hands in his pockets, while Charlie played with one ring on her finger, trying to ease the tension that was starting to build up between them.

“I have to say again, I’m so sorry about Em. I didn’t think she’d do that. Honestly, I don’t think she’s ever done something like that in her life.” Charlie smiled at his words, looking up at his glasses-covered eyes.

“It’s fine. Really, it is. I didn’t dare to come across to talk to you if she didn’t tell me to do it. I should thank her again. I should send her flowers or chocolates. Or both.”

“I… I mean I wasn’t gonna do it either. I saw you turn down the guy who walked over to talk to you, so I didn’t want to suffer the same fate if you were just here to relax”. This time it was Charlie’s turn to blush. She had no idea Blake had seen that. The main reason why she said no to the other guy - Hunter, with a shitty mullet and an even worse pickup line - was because she couldn’t stop stealing looks from Blake. She didn’t think he’d been doing the same to her.

“Oh, he was just some cunt. Not a good one either. And he wasn’t as cute as you.” That final drink she nearly didn’t have finally took effect at the wrong time.

“How long did the taxi driver say he’d be?”. They were on the outskirts of Perth, far enough out of the city that you had to ring individual drivers.

“Like fifteen minutes? I guess it’s a busy night. You can leave if you want. I’ll be fine.”

She was never one to lie. It was something she hated, but that night she did it without shame. The night was not a busy one, even though it was so close to Christmas, but Charlie needed an excuse to spend more time with Blake. Em and Daniel had been sweethearts and disappeared to give them alone time to chat and get to know each other. However, her coworkers were still there. Having her first kiss with Blake in front of the people she would see in less than nine hours was something she did not want to do, so she ordered her taxi to arrive twenty minutes later. If the lie was taking her to hell at least it would've been worth it if she got to kiss the cutest man she ever met.

“What? I won't leave you waiting here alone. I'm not hurrying. I was just curious.”

"If you say so," she smiled, feeling both embarrassed and excited at the same time. "Okay, this is quite awkward because I was planning on saying that I had a really good idea on how we could entertain ourselves for the next fifteen minutes, and then I was planning to try to be all smooth and clever and kiss you at the end. But I think it wouldn't work because you're too tall and the romcom-style moment has been ruined because of my poor shoe choice this morning. And that last drink was not necessary.”

Charlie knew she wasn't drunk. She was far from drunk, but she shouldn't have accepted that last beer. Or maybe it had been an excellent idea because, despite the embarrassment, it had given her enough courage to say something. She wouldn’t have done it otherwise. She wasn’t some shy and retiring woman but Blake made her nervous. His cute smirk from across the bar and Em’s “he thinks you’re cute” made her afraid of ruining whatever that could be.

Everything turned into nerves when Blake moved and stood right in front of her. Suddenly the world moved in slow motion and went silent. No cars drove past in the street, no people walking by or music coming out of the bar. The only thing that existed was Blake looking down at her smiling as he took his hands out of his pocket.

Suddenly, it all made sense. Going out that night with her coworkers after an exhausting day at work, rejecting the other guy, and accepting Emma’s drink and offer. Everything, even the outfit she wore, made sense somehow. She shouldn’t have been in that bar. Her coworkers considered going to another place, but the one they chose was closer to their workplace, so it was faster and easier. It was all destiny.

What was most ridiculous was the fact that Charlie wasn't looking for anything or anyone at all. She was fine on her own. After her last relationship and the way she ended it, she decided it was okay to be alone. Sometimes she missed having someone to share things with and hug her, but she was okay. She kept telling herself she was fine until she saw Blake coming in. It was a cliché, but she stopped listening to what her manager said the second he walked in. Blake’s smile was the only thing she could think about. But then she saw Daniel Fucking Ricciardo walking behind him. Charlie suddenly felt her chances falling to zero so fast it was heartbreaking. She looked away so fast it was ridiculous.

Even with that, Charlie couldn't stop herself and looked his way every few minutes. She tried, heaven knows she tried, but it was impossible. He was too handsome. His smile was just as beautiful as the rest of his face, and his glasses made him even cuter. The moment she realized her hope was gone, she drowned her sorrow in yet another drink. That's why she thought it was a joke when Emma presented herself and brought her a drink. It had to be a joke. It felt like a joke. Something like that couldn't happen to someone like her.

It was a miracle, but it happened. It all led to that moment. It all led to Blake holding her cheek and waist. Every single thing she did that day took her to Blake looking down at her eyes looking for permission so they could finally kiss. Charlie had no idea if magic existed, but she could swear that's exactly what she felt as their lips touched. At thirty-four years old and after too many heartbreaks and bad experiences, Charlie didn't believe in butterflies anymore. She understood perfectly well the reason why a person felt butterflies inside their stomach. She knew it was dopamine in the body. She also knew it was norepinephrine in the central nervous system and hormonal changes. Her PhD in Psychology said she had memorized it all by heart, but that night she couldn't care less. That night, as she kissed Blake, Charlie swore the butterflies were as real as she was.

If someone had told her that same morning that she was going to end the night in the arms of a cute man with glasses while kissing on a sidewalk, she would have laughed because it was ridiculous and impossible. That's not how her night was supposed to be, but it was perfect. Her hands were placed on his chest and around his waist. As he touched her cheek, his arm wrapped around her body and held her close. Charlie wanted to stay in his arms forever. Their lips were locked, their noses touched, and their heartbeats rushed together. It felt like a dream, that's why she was going to do everything in her power to feel his smile against her lips forever.

He tasted like beer for the last ones they had. The two of them smelled like alcohol, but Blake also smelled like the finest perfume that a person could find anywhere in the world. There was also a softness to him. Everything about him was soft, from his kisses to the way he stroked her skin with his finger. Suddenly, there was something there telling Charlie that he also wasn't trying to ruin the moment, which made Charlie smile right there against his lips right as the first kiss ended and the second kiss started. She wanted to do that for the rest of the night. She wanted that for the rest of the year. She wanted to kiss his lips until she knew every part of his face thanks to the closeness of their bodies. She wanted to kiss him until their lips forgot what it was like to have anyone else touching them. She wanted this to be more than just a kiss.

She wanted this to be more than just a kiss and for one night.  

"Is that what you had in mind for your rom-com moment?" Blake asked, still smiling down at her. She smiled back, her heart skipping a beat. Blake leaned down and kissed her again before she answered.

“Yup, exactly that one."

“You’re a smart woman, Charlotte."

Her shoulders shrunk as she joked, "I have a PhD, so I kind of know what you mean." This time Charlie was able to gather the courage to get on her tiptoes, hold his neck, and steal another kiss, which was a statement of how much she enjoyed it. “I don't usually do this, but I am just going to go for it and ask you 'cause you don't look like a psycho or a serial killer. Plus, you're a very good kisser, so do you want to ride in the taxi with me and come to my place with me?" Once the words were out of her mouth, Charlie wondered where that came from. She was never one to ask a guy to take her home with her but those brown eyes behind his glasses were messing up with her.

“Didn’t you say you have work tomorrow and that’s why you were leaving?" Shit. He was totally right.

“Maybe? Ugh. Being an adult sucks. But I can call in sick?” There was a terrible internal struggle inside her. Head versus heart. Responsibility against everything Blake made her feel and all the things her body yelled at her. The rational part of her brain told her to do the right thing and act like an adult. Meanwhile, her heart told her to go with it and enjoy a night of fun. It should be a no-brainer, but her head was empty as Blake kissed her head.

“Maybe? Ugh. Being an adult sucks. But I can call in sick?” There was a terrible internal struggle inside her. Head versus heart. Responsibility against everything Blake made her feel and all the things her body yelled at her. The rational part of her brain told her to do the right thing and act like an adult. Meanwhile, her heart told her to go with it and enjoy a night of fun. It should be a no-brainer, but her head was empty as Blake kissed her head.

“You’re not calling in sick, Charlie” Blake replied, reaching for her hand over his chest to tangle their fingers.

“Why not? ‘Hey, sorry I can’t go today, my legs turned into jello. It's because of a cute guy from Sydney’. See? Easy”

“Charlie…”

"C'mon, don't ruin the fun. I mean, unless you don't want to do it. That's fine too, in that case, but I thought-". The feeling was like a bucket of cold water falling over her head. As soon as she realized that Blake was saying no to her, it was like receiving a kick in the stomach. He was respectful and sweet, but it was a no. She was told no softly, but when she heard it, she wanted to hide under the covers of her bed, hoping that the time would go back so she could fix it.

Charlie knew it was impossible to do something like that, so she just let her hand fall from his waist, shyly stepping back and away. It was just one little step and they were still against each other and holding hands, but it felt like an ocean got between them. Despite her knowing that it was all psychological, Charlie felt as if she was the smallest woman ever and she hated that feeling.

When she moved away from him, Blake stepped forward, closing the distance between them as soon as she moved away. It was the kiss Blake gave her in her hand that kept her calm. She didn't know how he knew, but it was enough to keep her grounded and stop her from spiraling. "Hey, no, Charlie listen, there’s nothing I want more than to go home with you right now, but just- Let me do things right, baby. I really wanna do this properly.”

“You just called me baby and I’m not supposed to beg you? And what do you mean by proper?”

It was probably the puzzled expression on her face that made Blake smile, but that was enough to make her relax again as he explained himself. “Let me take you out for dinner tomorrow. We do a real date like normal people do. I pick you up, open the door for you, all that."

Charlie felt small at first, but as soon as she heard his reasons she felt ridiculous. She wanted to slap herself because she was just making assumption after assumption. Blake wanted to do things right and take it slow while she just wanted to rip his clothes off. She was a complete mess and really shouldn't have drunk that last beer, but it was too late for regrets.

“Looks like I found the last decent man on earth. Are you real or an alien, Mr. Friend?” Charlie joked, finally relaxing again enough to touch his cheek as she asked that ridiculous question, making Blake smile.

“Is that a yes to my invitation?” he wondered as he turned his head enough to kiss the palm of her hand.

“I don’t know. Are you skipping my question because you’re an alien?”

“Are you skipping mine because you’re an alien?”

“Fair enough. I go out with you if you promised to be human”

“I promise I’m human” Blake insisted, and the smile on his face and the kiss he gave her earlier was more than enough to convince her of anything at all. “Tomorrow night then?“

Charlie didn’t answer with words. She just nodded, going back for another kiss. She couldn’t even think about moving away, especially not when his thumb found its way under her shirt, sending shivers down her spine as he stroked her waist. As revenge for what his fingers were doing under her shirt, Charlie made it easy and simple and decided to run the tip of her tongue over his lower lip.

At that point, she knew it wasn’t gonna change his mind, but at least she was happy to get one deep breath and a groan from him. “Are you sure you don't want to leave your decency behind? I won’t get offended. I’m leaving mine by asking you twice. I never do that, so it's a big deal. I mean, this is the nicest way I’ve ever been turned down but maybe I can convince you.”

“I’m not turning you down, I’m just inventing an excuse to see you again. And if tomorrow goes half as well as tonight, then you're not heading home alone.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Mr. Alien Friend”

“It’s not a threat, ma’am, it's a promise. Text me your address and I’ll pick you up.”

“Fine. If I tell you to pick me up at 7 can I kiss you till 8 and then we do dinner?” Charlie asked, half joking and half serious, feeling more and more comfortable every second she spent in his arms. That’s why she decided to get even closer, hugging his neck and running her fingers through his short hair. She kept giving him short, soft, loving kisses. It wasn’t about convincing him anymore, it was simply she was addicted to it. 

“You’re making it hard for me on purpose, don’t you?” Blake asked, placing their foreheads together. Charlie could see all over his face how he was trying to keep his composure. She couldn’t blame him for failing as badly as she did. 

“That is the best and most awful innuendo ever.” 

“I didn’t mean it like that!"

“I know. But still, it was fun." It wasn’t a great joke, it was just a silly funny comment, but both of them laughed at it. Charlie had no idea last time she had that much fun with someone, especially not with a man. It was easy to be with him, just like it was easy to smile at his contagious laugh. “Shit, I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“I don’t either. But less than twenty-four hours and I’ll be at your door.”

“That’s a lot of hours, Blake."

“You’re gonna be sleeping and working most of them, so it won’t be that terrible. Any food you don’t eat?”

“I’m okay with anything. But I also really like tall cute guys for dessert, especially if they have glasses." Charlie joked, tapping carefully the bridge of his glasses. And there was again, the cute, shy smile that made her lose notions of the time and date. She was very close to forgetting her own name and didn't care.

“I think I know someone like that” Blake whispered, trying to act as mysteriously as possible. 

“Wait, is it human or alien?”

“A werewolf”

“Dirty. I mean I don’t mind scratches or bites so it's alright. Shit, that was a lot”. Charlie couldn’t help but giggle at her own stupidity. She was so ridiculously into Blake that she lost track of what she was saying. All that added to the alcohol in her body and how good Blake smelled made her head turn. She was so damn embarrassed that all she could do was rest her forehead against his chest for a moment. She returned to reality when Blake laughed and kissed her head. 

“It's not a lot, I’m just taking it as a promise for tomorrow. We settle for tomorrow at 8 then?”

“I thought we said 7?”

“If we spend an hour kissing we won’t make it to dinner, Charlie”

“7:30 is my last offer or I’ll go out with that werewolf friend of yours, babe”. That was the first time she was calling him babe and it felt just as right as when Blake used that nickname for her. It just felt normal to say it. It felt even better to look up again and see the look in his eyes and how his whole face lightened up when he heard it.

“7.45. Thirty minutes with you and we’ll skip dinner. Fifteen is cutting it close.”

“Fiiine. I’ll put on a dress and heels so we don’t break our necks when we kiss. And to play footsie under the table. Just please don’t let me be overdressed.”

“I won’t. And I can't imagine you looking bad.”

“You haven’t seen me at 6 am without coffee or makeup. That's the most horrible Charlie of them all."

“If we’re awake after 6 tomorrow I’ll tell you how beautiful you look."

“You’re a charmer, aren't you?”

“I’m gonna ruin the charm by saying I think your taxi’s coming”

She couldn't believe her fifteen minutes were over. It felt like a lifetime had passed, but at the same time, she didn’t have plenty of time. She didn’t hug him enough. She didn’t steal enough kisses. She wanted to stay in his arms and make him blush for her silly comments. She got fifteen minutes but wanted fifteen hours. Damn, she wished for fifteen lifetimes. 

“Nah, tell it to go away” she complained, hiding her face again in his chest as Blake squeezed her waist tighter. “I said fifteen minutes, not fifteen seconds.”

“We’ll get more than fifteen minutes tomorrow” Blake promised, kissing her head again, which was enough to leave her favorite new place to hide. “Text me when you get home safe, alright?" 

Charlie hated the second his hands let go of her waist. She hated not feeling his fingers carefully stroking her waist, slow enough to not pass a limit in something so new and fragile. She hated moving her hands away from his neck and how her body wasn’t against his anymore. But as she lost all that, she saw his hand grasping hers, looking at their fingers together. Charlie might hate losing all that, but she loved the new feeling of their hands fitting perfectly together. 

“You want a pic of me in my PJs with it?” 

“You’re gonna kill me. Text me, yeah?" And that was their goodnight kiss, just as a heartwarming as all the other ones, but that one felt like a promise. That one was the simple promise of more coming tomorrow, which made Charlie smile wider against his lips.

“I will. See you tomorrow. Have a good night. Even if it's without me” she joked, hearing the goddamn taxi finally park right beside them. 

“You too. See you tomorrow."

****

The smile on his face was impossible to hide. He knew that. He was well aware of it. He didn’t want to hide it at all. He was even sure his face would hurt after smiling so much, but he couldn’t care less, not when that just happened. That silly happy smile would stay on his face forever and he wasn’t willing to fight it, not when Charlie put it there. If he had it his way, he would keep it there forever, just like he wanted to keep Charlie forever. 

He couldn’t believe what had happened not even five minutes earlier. It felt like some kind of romantic book Em read on planes and long car rides. It was one of those meet cute things his best friend used to talk about and Blake was convinced it could only occur in silly Hallmark movies and books. But then it happened to him. From all the people in the world, the universe chose him to have the meet-cute moment. The gorgeous brunette by the bar decided to speak with him among all the guys at the bar. Then she decided that she wanted to kiss him. Him. And if that wasn’t enough, she agreed to have dinner the next day, which was almost impossible to believe. It was so illogical that Blake couldn’t stop staring at the street until the taxi that took her disappeared from his view. It took him another couple of minutes to stop it and go inside and back to his friends. 

“I was gonna ask how it was but you've a pinkish gloss on your lips” Emma smiled, pointing to her lips as she looked up at Blake. 

Blake had no idea which color it was, but from that night it was his favorite one. All he knew was that it tasted like cherries, which paired perfectly with the fruity drink Charlie drank earlier. But nobody needed to know, at least not yet. He thought for a second about denying it, saying he didn’t have anything on his lips, but there was no point. It was ridiculous to do it when the smile was still there, making it impossible to hide. 

“So you closed the deal?" It was Dan who finally asked the important question while Em offered a napkin. Blake grabbed it but left it on the table as he sat down, not wanting to erase Charlie’s memory from his lips. 

It was strange, but Blake somehow understood why his two best friends kept secrets about everything in their relationship for so long. A couple of kisses with Charlie and he was determined to keep it secret forever. He didn’t want to say anything about the butterflies and the nerves in his stomach, about the way he felt alive again, or the way he wanted to cry with happiness when he finally kissed her. He wanted to keep that night for himself forever. 

“We’re having dinner tomorrow night," he confessed, blushing like a nervous kid.

“Let's go!” Em exclaimed, giving Blake a high-five to celebrate the good news. After his wife, Dan did the same thing. “That's my boy!”

“Alright can we go home now? I gotta see where I’m taking her tomorrow and I really wanna freak out in private”. It took his friends only two seconds to grab their things and get up, all while Dan started to throw options about nice restaurants he could take Charlie to, and Em told him options about what he could wear. Blake smiled even more, but this time because he was thankful for his messy favorite couple.

****

Six years of knowing Blake, and Emma could swear she had never seen him that nervous. She had seen her best friend under insane pressure and terrible stress, but never as that night, especially not for a woman.

He was a mix of a nervous breakdown and a giddy mess as soon as he woke up. There was an unusual smile that Em called “The Charlie Effect” because it only appeared when she texted him. Every hour or two his phone would buzz and there it was, Blake looking at his phone like a lovesick puppy, smile blasted on his face in such a way it was contagious. But as Charlie was back in a meeting or a session, he would turn into a nervous break again. 

Blake looked terrified as he wore and changed another shirt. The previous ones were not good enough. One was too formal, the next one wasn’t casual enough, and the next one was too casual. He wanted to look perfect, and suddenly all his clothes and even the shirts he bought that morning weren’t nice. Not all the shirts in the world were good. He was so nervous he was doubting about every single choice he made in his life, but especially about his clothes and the restaurant he had chosen for that night. Dan recommended something quite private, small, and not as fancy as the Michelin stars restaurants they had been eating in luxury hotels. It was obvious from kilometers away that Charlie wasn’t that kind of woman. The last thing Blake wanted to do was chase her away by picking the wrong restaurant or doing the wrong thing. His final decision about the restaurant was made when Em said she liked the one Dan suggested, and if ‘I don’t like fancy stuff’ Em thought it was okay, then it was good enough. 

After that, Em solved the issue with his clothes. Like a mum helping her kid pick up the right clothes for prom, Em helped her best friend, telling him to go for a blue shirt and some black pants. It was chill and classic and he looked great in blue. But even after that, he took another twenty minutes to get ready, which for Blake was an eternity. Whatever he was doing in the bathroom and the bedroom was worth it because when he came out he looked flawless.

“Timmy, tell me the truth. How do I look?” Blake asked, standing right in front of Em who was sitting on the couch, book in her hand as she waited for Dan to return from taking a call with one of his mates. Not that Em couldn’t listen, but Dan just didn’t want to bother as she read one of the critical chapters. 

“You’re the most handsome man in the world after my husband. You really look great, Blakey. If you change again I swear I’m gonna hit you” Em joked, saying the last word with a straight face before she smiled at her friend once again. “I know you’re nervous but stop it. You look breathtaking.”

“Don’t lie to me”

“I’m not lying! C’mere. C’mon! Come sit with Aunt Emmy." It was a couple of pats on the couch and then Blake did as he was told. He sat right beside Em and she hugged his arm as she looked up at him. “Drop it. Whatever it's in your head just say it cause it won’t help if it’s eating you”

It took Blake a few seconds to say it. He took a deep breath before letting the words leave his mouth even if it hurt. “What if it goes wrong? Or if she doesn’t like me at the end?”

“B, darling, you know she likes you. I mean, you already kissed."

“I know. And I like her, Tim. But what if? Like- Ughh she’s so damn beautiful and smart and funny! How does she like me? What if she was drunker than she thought and now she doesn’t know how to say no to hanging out? Or if it's not the same as last night?”

Em understood perfectly where all those fears came from. Nobody could blame him, especially not Em. She's been through that in her relationship with Dan for years. She still found it difficult to understand how her husband loved her. But on the other hand, she couldn't understand how someone wouldn't want to have a date with Blake. No when he was the greatest friend and one of the best men of all time.

“You’re handsome, smart and funny. I know you’re nervous but it's gonna be alright.”

Before Em could finish showering her brother with compliments to boost his confidence, they heard a loud whistle coming from the other side of the room. Em couldn’t help but smile when she saw Dan standing there, looking straight at them. 

“Ohhh he looks handsome!”

“See? Told you! You look great!” Em smiled, looking between both men, searching for help from Daniel.

“You ready to charm Miss Charlotte?” Dan asked, sitting on Blake’s free side. There was no way he could escape between them and that's what they needed.

“Shut up, cunt.”

“I think she’s already charmed” Em singsonged, kissing Blake’s cheek before he ran from the couch, leaving Em the space to snuggle with her man.

“I think I should go. Don’t wait up. Y’know what? Just don’t wait at all.”

“Do you have condoms or do you want some?” Dan joked, making Blake freeze in his spot and Em laugh maybe too loud for their own good. Coming from them it was probably the most ridiculous joke they could ever say, so the three of them laughed and smiled unnecessarily loudly.

“You telling me there’s condoms in this house? That you have condoms? When was the last time you touched one of those?”

Em and Dan took a moment to do basic math. The first time they slept together was in 2018, Em knew she hadn’t slept with anyone since 2017, but she never asked Dan if he did after they met. He always said he couldn’t stop thinking about her from the second they met. However, she couldn’t blame him if he had been with someone before them. It would be weird if he didn’t. Em was fine with not knowing names or seeing pictures.

“2017?” Dan asked, kissing Em’s forehead before she nodded in agreement. Something as simple as a kiss and a number cleared one of her doubts in a second. “And nah we don’t have”.

“That’s what I thought. Okay, I’m out." He kissed Em’s forever and ruffled Dan’s curls before grabbing the keys of the car he rented -because yes, Blake insisted he wasn’t planning to pick Charlie up in Dan’s pickup truck- and checked again his phone was in his pocket. Em couldn’t help but smile as she looked up at Blake, hoping he would finally get some happiness he deserved. As Blake was almost at the door, she noticed his green backpack sitting on the other couch next to her.

“Hey, your backpack!”

“Why would I need my backpack?” Blake asked with the most confused look on his face. He has his keys, phone, and wallet. Em figured the smart man had condoms somewhere in one of his pockets, so he was oblivious to why Em mentioned his backpack.

“I put clean clothes for you there, dummy. I know you won’t be back for the whole weekend so I figured you would need it. At least to come back dressed." Em made it sound like the easiest explanation in the world, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal. For her, it wasn't. All she did was grab a nice pair of shorts, a T-shirt, socks, and the newest underwear she knew Blake had. Eighty percent of the time Em was in charge of their laundry, so she knew which clothes were older, even in Blake's suitcase. She might have also thrown there a spare deodorant, a toothbrush, and a box of condoms, but she wasn't gonna say a thing about it. She wanted to keep the secret and wait for Blake to find out.

Em thought Blake was gonna say she was insane for doing such a thing. After all, she wasn't his mum and he was a grown-up adult who could take care of himself. She just wanted to look after her best friend and give back some of the love, care, and affection he constantly gave them. Blake knew that was Em's way of showing her love, so he walked back, grabbed the backpack, and pointed straight at her. “I love you."

“I love you too. Go be happy!" Em exclaimed, a smile on her face as she saw Blake leaving the house and Dan yelled to him, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!".

****

He shouldn’t be that nervous. He couldn’t be that nervous. Charlie was just a girl. He hung out with girls before. He did it a hundred times. It wasn’t his first date or anything. At that point in his life, it felt like his first date was centuries ago, but somehow that night was like it again. He had the same excitement and nerves he had when he was a kid in Sydney. The only difference was that this felt final. He has dated girls before, but never experienced anything like that. None of them felt like Charlie. None of them made him forget his name instantly like she did. None of them felt like home, which was insane but true. Kissing Charlie made him feel like coming home after too much time away. It was like heaven even when he knew she could take him down to hell in a second. Being honest with himself, he couldn’t care less. He would gladly go to hell if it meant kissing her again.

He wanted nothing more than kissing her again. He wanted to taste her cherry chapstick again. He wanted her hands against his skin and her body near his. He wanted to feel her smiling and be the one begging for her to take him home. Because he regretted not going home with her. He couldn't stop thinking about it the whole night. He couldn't erase from his mind her beautiful face begging him to leave with her. He couldn't stop thinking about how he should have said yes to that and to every thing Charlie asked of him. He should have gone home with her, but instead, he listened to his decency. All he had in return was a night of terrible sleep while he missed her.

As he drove around Perth's familiar streets, Blake kept thinking about what Em said to him. It was gonna be fine. Nothing pointed in the opposite direction. There was no reason for their date to go wrong. There was no reason, but anything could happen and he didn’t want to think about it. He just couldn’t, that’s why as he drove, he decided to call the only person who could calm him again.

“You got lost or you already miss me?” 

“Tell me again it's gonna be fine?”

“Oh Blakey. Umm- Oh, I know. Hey, remember when we were sitting in the airport flying to Nice? I didn’t want to go and you promised me that no matter what happened it’d be terrible not to go because I’d never know what happened."

"Of course I remember." Some things weren’t easy to forget in life. Em holding his hand for dear life was one of those. How hard she tried to keep tears from falling was another on the list. But nothing was as terrible as seeing her eyes. She seemed lost. She looked like something had broken inside her. It was nothing but the shadow of the woman she was, but Blake needed to take her to Monaco. Maybe it was the most disastrous decision of his life, but he needed to take her there to face her biggest fear. Blake had no idea how it worked. While it felt like a miracle at the time, he came to understand her point months later.

"That’s you right now. This will work out, B. I promise. You just need to enjoy yourself and text me in the morning so I know you’re alive.”

“You know I fucking love you, right?”

“I know. You told me five minutes ago. But I love you more. Now take a deep breath, okay? Just like you made me do it that day. Do that and remember it was alright for me, so it's gonna be more than okay for you."

“Thanks, Emmy.”

“You know you’re the only person except Dan, his parents, and the kids who can call me that?”

“I know. Means a lot.”

“I know, silly. Now go get your girl.”

“She’s not-“.

“Shush. You closed the deal last night. Go get her, make her officially your girl. I’m fucking exhausted of all the testosterone, I need another girl on my side.” 

“She told me she loves Taylor...”

“Blake Francis Friend, if you lose her I will destroy you”.

“If I lose her I will let you destroy me. I feel like the two of you will terrorize me and Dan.”

“What a shame, not like the three of you have done that to me for years!”

“I’ll apologize to you again when I see you. I think I’m outside her apartment so I better leave you. Love you, Timmy.”

“Love you more, Blakey. Have fun!” 

****

The second Blake told Charlie about dinner, she knew what she was going to wear. She knew the little black dress she bought months ago without reason suddenly had a reason to hang in her closet. The black, short, very sexy halter dress was gonna be her ally that night. It was classy, not showing anything but putting her legs out there so his imagination could do the rest. If she was lucky she was gonna convince Blake to just have her as entrance and dessert, and then they could order something on her list of favorite places near home. The problem was what to wear under her dress. She was divided into two bralette bras, a regular black one that was serious but sexy, or a lace lavender one that was cute as it could get. Charlie wasn’t one to compliment herself, but both of them looked gorgeous on her, doing wonders for her boobs.

She needed that night to work. She knew she shouldn’t put all her expectations on a man she met in a bar the night before. She was a grown-up woman who knew better, but damn, she needed it to work. She needed it because something inside her yelled Blake was the right one. She always trusted her gut and she had a really good feeling about it. She wanted that and Blake almost as much as she wanted to call her sister-in-law for a brief pep talk saying it was gonna be fine. Two minutes on the phone with Katie and she could convince her that it was going to be fine. But Charlie didn’t want to make the call. For some reason, she wanted Blake for herself. She didn’t want anybody giving their opinion on the matter. She didn’t want anyone to say it was good or wrong. She just wanted to kiss him again in peace, understand he was real, and then go from it.

“Just chill the fuck out, kid. It’s gonna be fine” she told herself as she looked in the mirror while doing her makeup. She didn’t want to put too many products on her face, trying to make it appear natural. If her wishes came true in a few hours, she would be on her knees for him, so she didn’t want to look like a complete disaster with her makeup all over the place.

Her makeup wasn’t such a big issue. She did it fast and it looked good and simple, but her hair was another story. So used to have half her hair tied up and half down or in a ponytail for work, she didn’t want to do that for her date. She wanted something simple and cute to go with her dress, but her hair refused to behave. And updo looked weird. The ponytail didn’t look nice, and she couldn’t find any cute accessories to keep it up, so she decided to let it fall on her back. As she brushed her hair hoping not even one lock would be out of place, Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous she was. Not only did she know Blake wasn’t going to care about how her hair looked like, but she also hoped he would make a complete mess out of it.

After the realization hit her she decided to sit down and wait for his text saying he was outside waiting for her. She spent a good part of the last three hours pacing the floor of her apartment. When she wasn’t showering or getting ready she was just walking from one point to another, praying to whatever was out there to not let her ruin it. But then she was tired of walking, so she sat down, double-checking everything in her purse before heading out.

But then at exactly 7:40 and five minutes earlier than they said, her phone finally buzzed, making her jump out of her seat with a smile on her face as she read a tiny “Outside!” that just made her run.

[wisteriaiswriting]

can you do a fic where kiriko, tracer and sombra get a call (or somehow getting informed) that the reader is in the hospital after a pretty serious accident?

ℍ𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕍𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕥:

Words: 474

She tries really hard to hide her reaction when she gets the call, barely able to as she’s rushing out to see you.

Tries to stay calm during her visit but fails, constantly asking about you. Making sure you’re safe and comfortable.

Everytime she comes for a visit she will get you a gift until you return home.

***

“アコヤ!” Kirikos shouting was directed at the fox yipping at her feet, seemingly excited about your return. Managing to manoeuvre around her to gently sit you on the couch.

“Stay here, I’ll go get you some actual food.” Swiftly leaving the room, Akoya took this chance to get some long wanted attention from you. Landing on your lap before yipping at you, calling for pets.

Which you gave, causing her to get comfortable on your legs. So focused on her you miss Kiriko in the doorway, who was melting at the scene.

***

アコヤ - Akoya

She panics, so others have to try hold her back so she doesn’t rush over to you, likely finding a worse site.

When she finds out what happens she’ll start crying, but that won’t stop her from joking around with you.

Obviously upset when she has to leave, always promising to return the next day.

***

Everyday felt the same, hearing the same voices and repeating your new routine. That was until the rushing of footsteps arrived, getting closer until they reached your door to pause.

The faint and muffled voice of one of your main nurses was heard. After she was done the door slowly opened, with a certain someone peeking her head in. Over at your side in an instant.

“You’re finally awake, I’ve been waiting forever!” She dragged out the sentence for effect, and that's something she did pretty often. “And here I thought you would be waiting for me, guess not.”

Even as she spoke her actions said otherwise, cuddling close as possible to you. Her hands never left yours.

She was already on her way when you got into trouble, but unable to arrive in time.

Due to being with Talon and a criminal she can’t visit you like normal. So she arrives after hours, and is now able to visit for longer.

During this time she makes sure you have anything you need or want.

***

The nurses had finally finished their questioning, tests and whatever else. And you don’t think most of them know how, surprisingly tiring that all is. So you were just ready for bed and sleep.

Of course at the hospital there was always something to keep you up. Right now it was the blinding purple flash from your side. Hearing and feeling someone get comfortable on your bed before looking over.

“Amor despierto?” Her hand reached over to cup your cheek.

“With this I might.” Pulling her hand away.

“Rest up, I’ll be right here~”

***

Amor despierto? - Awake/Awaken love?

[physalian]

So you want to turn your one-off book into a series…

As a writer who decided only after publishing book 1 of a trilogy, to then make it a 4 book saga, here are my thoughts on series planning, or at least the insomnia-driven process I went through to reach this decision:

Firstly—I prefer to write multi-book stories with the structure like Lord of the Rings over something like Harry Potter. As in, it’s one long story with various hurdles to overcome split into multiple books, instead of each book being much more self-contained, with a reliable time skip, like years of schooling.

With that in mind, the very first thought I have is this: What are the new threats going to be? I don’t think about my heroes or any subplots or new characters. Priority one is my antagonistic forces: Do I have enough to each carry their own book?

A hero is only as compelling as their conflict, after all.

In my sci-fi WIP, I had 6 main characters and five books planned, and I based it off the structure of the OG Teen Titans cartoon—Everybody gets their own season and while not every episode is about them, the main threat is theirs first, with the rest of the team backing them up. The threat was always a twofer, both an external threat and an internal conflict that they had to overcome in their book. For example I had a character who “lead” book 2, and the external threat was Bad Guys from a different team member’s war, dragging her home into it. The internal threat was her “suffer in silence” tendency and extreme self-reliance, which becomes too much for her to handle when her powerhouse teammate is out of commission physically and unable to help her emotionally.

ENNS doesn’t have an ensemble cast and was not meant to. In this style, if it’s one long story, I’d need three major incidents in books 1-3 that all led up to a final conflict in book 4, all building off each other. I needed essentially two whole “Helms Deeps” for books 2 and 3. Not just in terms of story but literal conflict, as I write high fantasy and not having a big climactic battle for a whole book would flop. But now I need two of them, and I struggle with action scenes.

And without spoiling myself, I have them vaguely defined. For me, at least, so long as I have my little compass pointing toward my “North” of “this is the thing that every major scene should be dealing with in some capacity” it doesn’t matter what path I take to get there, I’ll figure it out. Heavily outlining only ever leaves me with plenty of outline but no book.

For me, once I have my main threat, I then have my main theme. Example for ENNS being that book 1’s main theme/question was “What makes a monster?”

Have yet to narrow it down and split the original 3 themes now into 4, but one I intend on exploring is “Can vampires change?”

Doing this, having your big picture at least in a foggy idea, helps with cohesion across multiple books, and within the same story. If you keep your theme in the back of your mind and relate as many character arcs and mini conflicts back to it as possible, it’ll really start to look like you know what you’re doing.

Otherwise you end up with a bunch of loose ends and dangling plot threads that get abandoned, or characters that feel out of place as their arc has nothing to do with the rest of the story, it’s just here because they had to do something to participate.

So if you want to see now book 1 of 4, check out Eternal Night of the Northern Sky on Amazon.

[ququb444hm]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐜𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝

part 21 / grandmama chocolate cake ☆

masterlist

warning(s): profanity, possible typos

the faint sound of a bell signaling customers have either entered or exited the snug little bakery, flour men, was ignored amongst bustling college students and passengerbys except for a group of three; tooru, rintarou, and morisuke who waited expectedly for their friends yn and koushi.

yn looked around, trying to spot the trio who were seated in the far back of the room. rintarou waved his hand, catching the attention of his friend. “ah! they’re over there, koush.” the two made their way past other customers and into the booth with the rest of their group.

“sorry, someone was borrowing my charger and I forgot to grab it back after class,” koushi sheepishly explained, “did you guys order anything yet?”

“three slices of the grandmama chocolate cake. no drinks yet though, we were waiting for you guys.” rin answered. and as if on cue, a waiter came by with their order.

yn marveled at the dessert laid in front of her, “it looks so good! thank you!!” she picked up one of the forks that the waiter gave before digging in. the rest of the group ordered the rest of their pastries and drinks. when all their dishes arrived, mori instantly inquired what everyone was questioning since the previous night…or well early morning i guess.

“so?” 

yn rose a brow, feigning innocence. “so what?”

“don’t act like nothing happened!” mori whined, dragging his hands down his face to show his impatience. “did you not see what I sent to the group chat last night?”

“hmmm…” yn averted her eyes away from mori’s, a sly smirk creeping up her neck and plastering itself across her face. “I don’t know…are you talking about the picture of kozu n’ I or..”

“well obviously,” tooru scoffed, wanting to know all of the details asap. “stop stalling! tell us or I’ll eat the rest of–” before the brown haired senior could finish the rest of his threat, yn beat him to it and shoved the remaining spoonfuls of cake into her mouth. “...nevermind. but you get what I was gonna say!”

“I’m gonna be completely honest,” yn started, wiping off the frosting that coated the sides of her lips with a napkin, “I kind of have no idea what happened.”

“oh you’ve got to be kidding me–”

“well!” yn protested, motioning for rin to hear her out, “I remember that we kissed twice and that…kozu was the one that initiated it–”

the group unanimously gasped at the news. “kozume initiated the kiss?!”

 “okay now,” yn warned, a bit displeased to hear the reaction of her friends, “no need to be that surprised.”

“walk us through it,” koushi preservered, not content with only crumbs of what happened. “take your time.”

yn propped her elbows on the table, cheeks resting in her hands as she tried to recall the events of last night.

✧˖*°࿐ flashback ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

continuing their call to assure yn’s safety as she walked through the almost-empty streets leading to yūgen university’s boys dormitory, kozume’s quick paced footsteps were quietly heard on the other side of the line. kozume, knowing this idea was spontaneously stupid yet a bit…enticing, wanted to meet up with yn as soon as he could to reassure the both of them that nothing bad would happen– though he was more worried than she was.

seeing the familiar blond hair belonging to the one and only main lead, yn’s face lit up, “kozu, I see you!” she ended the call, skipping over to the boy who stopped in his tracks with a sigh.

watching yn’s giddy little walk as she made her way to kozume was– “cute.”

“hm?”

“nothing.”

yn smiled softly, both of her hands clutching onto the sleeves of kozume’s jacket. “hello handsome~” her doe eyes peeking through long, wispy eyelashes drew kozume into a daze and if it weren’t for a few cars passing by to help him regain his awareness, he swore he would, once again, stay glued to his position, forever in this moment.

“behave,” he muttered, removing yn’s hands from his jacket. “what made you even want to come over, we could’ve just stayed on call y’know?”

“yeah, but it’s jus’ not the same.” yn insisted. the two began walking over to the dormanity, small conversations in between leisurely steps.

“yeah? how so?”

“well for one,” yn glanced to the side, catching kozume’s cat-like gaze, “I wouldn't get to see your pretty face, and you know how much I love looking at it.”

“flattery won’t get you anywhere, ms. green peas.” smirking at yn’s reddening face at the nickname, kozume quipped back a response. “you’re right though, I definitely wouldn’t get to see just how red you get when I call you ms. green peas if we stayed on call.”

“okayy now…not too much of that,” yn grumbled. “before I end up throwing up on you right now.”

“and avoid me for a week again? no thanks.”

“cause you’ll miss me?” yn teased.

“I always do.” kozume mumbled, almost inaudible for the girl right next to him. but yn heard. loud and clear. noticing a few seconds go by without a response from the usually talkative art major, kozume clears his throat. “sorry…didn’t mean to make it awkward.”

it was usually yn coming up with the flirty comments and remarks and kozume going quiet as his cheeks flush red hot, but when roles were switched, yn couldn’t help but internally groan, desperate to know what kozume’s stance was when it came to their relationship.

what were they to him? when he thinks of her, what comes to mind? what feelings are bubbling in his stomach?

there are times where he would flirt back, just as he did moments ago, and there are times where he seems to harbor mutual feelings. there are times, if not all the time, kozume would feel like a lovesick fool, wanting nothing more than to just tell yn how he truly felt. 

but, there are times where he would do things that seem to halter the progress of their relationship and make yn bewildered at his change of demenor.

fortunately though, tonight was not one of those nights.

“no, sorry.” yn let out a breathy laugh, stopping in her tracks to face the curious blond. “I think I’m just not used to you being the one to initiate things.”

“oh really?” kozume teased, turning his body to completely face yn. 

a lot of people would say that they feel like a different person when night falls, especially when the clock travels past midnight. they feel more open to share their feelings, connect deeper with people they’re with, even going as far as doing things they wouldn’t normally do when the sun makes an appearance.

yn watched as kozume, the boy she’s known since the second grade, the boy who’s been one of her closest friends since they’ve first met, the boy who’s best friend’s with her brother, as well as her ex (sadly), someone who she has had a small crush on in high school and currently an even bigger one right now, take small steps to close the gap between them. “what?” she let out a breathy laugh once again, her face warming at the touch of kozume’s hands intertwining with hers.

“you’re hands are cold,” he noted, bringing yn’s hands up to his mouth and blowing hot air in an attempt to warm them up. yn’s eyes followed the movement of their hands, feeling kozume’s perpetual gentle gaze on her but choosing to ignore it because for some reason, no matter how much she’d wish and dream for this to happen, it felt unreal. “yn,” kozume breathed out, waiting for her to meet his eyes and when they did, he slowly inched closer, their lips now milimeteres apart. kozume’s honey golden eyes dripped down to her lips making yn’s breath stuck in her throat. her heart pounded viciously at the current situation, wanting out of her ribcage. yn’s eyelids fluttered closed, awaiting the soft impact of kozume’s lips on hers. and when it happened, it felt as sweet and fairy-tale-like as she’d always imagined it to be. 

although it’s a bad habit to compare, for some reason this kiss felt different than any previous ones she’d experienced before. kozume’s lips felt like years of unspoken words being poured out into a single moment. when they parted, yn’s lips formed a slight pout, wanting more than just a few seconds of kozume’s affection. 

as if he could read her mind, kozume giggled, his own heart shooting fireworks inside of him before leaning in once again.

✧˖*°࿐ end flashback ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“and then?” tooru asked, eager to be told more.

“uhm well,” yn furrowed her brows, trying to think of what happened after the kiss. “then we walked back to his dorm and I fell asleep.”

“you’re telling me–”

“you’re telling us that you guys just fucking kissed and that was it!?” koushi exclaimed, cutting off his boyfriend’s sentence.

“koushi!” yn scolded, cheeks flushed at how loud her friend was being.

“sorry, sorry,” he apologized, calming down. “but it’s just..that!? like that was it? you guys met up, kissed, then didn’t even talk about it when you arrived at his dorm?”

“uhm. yes…”

now it was koushi’s turn to scold his friend, “you can’t just be okay with that! you have to clarify what you two even are!” tooru backed him up, mentioning how it’s disrespectful to her since kozume knows of yn’s feelings yet won’t communicate his.

mori seemed to just be taking in everything yn said, nodding his head in agreement with the couple. rin on the other hand, was interested in what happened in the morning.

“hm? what do you mean?” yn asked, not really sure what rin was thinking since nothing really— “oh! nothing much. I wouldn’t wake up n’ koz kept trying to wake me up, and then when I was leaving I accidentally gave keiji–”

“keiji?”

yn nodded at rin, conitnuing on telling the group about her morning, “yeah, I accidentally gave him a bloody nose cause I hit him with the door n’ then koz gave him some ice and then I had to get out cause tetsu was waiting to pick me up.”

“so when you left, keiji and kozume were still together?” rin questioned. yn nodded in clarification, curious as to what rin was leading up to, but he just dismissed her curiosity.

“this whole thing is so….interesing,” mori hummed, “I am definitely, one hundred precent on team kozu and yn though.”

“well obviously, what other teams are there to choose from.” yn laughed.

“why don’t we look at the ‘yn’s love life’ board hm?” tooru chirped, projecting the updated board on his phone and putting it in the middle of the table for everyone to peek at. “it is currently up to date with the kozume and yn slow burn. keiji just made an appearance and for some reason…my gut is telling me it’s going to be…quite interesting. kei on the other hand seems fine, I don’t really have anything to add to his notes, and eita or whoever, whatever his name is, is just there so.”

“aw wait, speaking of kei,” mori checked the time on his phone, groaning as he remembered volleyball practice. “yn and I have practice in a few minutes so we gotta bounce.”

“oh shit I almost forgot,” yn quickly grabbed her bag, scooching out of the booth. “see y’guys later!” and off the two went, leaving rin, tooru, and koushi in the booth with clear intentions to discuss theories of what will happen throughout the upcoming days with the new information they have just received.

part 20 touché <- | masterlist | -> part 22 side-hustling

note(s): the way i told myself to sleep at a reasonable time yet it's almost 3 in the morning :333 none of the pictures used are mine!!

✩⡱ taglist !! + @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anny-bah @ast4rg1rl @sukunasrealgf @killed-kiss lmk if u want to be added (msg or inbox)ヾ(･ω･`；)ﾉ

[imperator-titus]

Ghost from the Past [Part 5]

I continue to be a menace to society (and my grad school classes)

Having fun revisiting the dialogue for Astarion/Gale. I've debated if Halsin will be a main fixture, as this story has less development between the other characters, but I think Eletha would be very drawn to Halsin and Jaheira.

More relationship development, a little more emotional anguish.

Please feel free to comment or anything about what you like, I love hearing people's opinions/questions! Everyone has such interesting takes.

(Prev)[Part 4] (Next)[Part 6] [Master Post]

[I've run out of relevant gifs and tumblr keeps shitting the bed. feels naked here. so sorry, gif by greenstarzxo]

Eletha and Gale took their turn staying behind at camp, cooking and easing the pains of their journey out of their bones. With a bottle of wine, she chose to keep him company as he tended to supper.

“I’ve thought about that moment we shared under the Weave,” he said fondly after a moment of silence passed.

“Oh?” she responded in surprise. It wasn’t exactly the answer Gale was hoping for. Tentatively, he asked, “Do you?”

“It’s no fault against you, but… I try not to.” Eletha hurriedly took a fortifying sip of wine. “It was nice, in the end. I’m… ashamed you saw the first part.”

“What you chose to share with me was wonderful,” Gale reassured her with an easy smile. It gave way to his usual manner of pensiveness. “I’m not a big believer in fate, but I do believe in serendipity. Life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace.”

He looked her in the eye, open and bold. Eletha could feel her heart flutter. “You’re one such event that, one day soon perhaps, I’d like to embrace.”

“Bhin, don’t play with an old elf’s heart,” she said with a nervous chuckle, quick to return to her drink and staring at the campfire flames. “What does ‘perhaps’ mean to you, exactly?”

“If I recall correctly, the Waterdhavian Dictionary of the Common Tongue of Faerûn defines it as an adverb that conveys the meaning of 'it may be that', or 'possibly'.” Gale laughed as Eletha rolled her eyes dramatically. “Sorry, sometimes I just can't help being quite insufferable.”

A lot of that going around, Eletha thought to herself, knowing better than to say it aloud.

“Is that how you see me? As just a ‘young human male’?” Gale asked her when she had nothing to say.

“Isn’t that what you are?”

“I’m not that young for a human… Though I suppose I am young compared to a mage of my skill.” Gale clicked his tongue as he mixed their supper. “I suppose I am quite young compared to you.”

“I’ll stop calling you Bhin if you want,” she offered. Gale shook his head.

“I kind of like it. Keeps me humble.”

“Yeah, if only I was around to keep you humble before you put ancient magic in your chest.” Gale laughed.

“Indeed.” A few more moments passed in silence. Bonnet passed by and Gale offered her some scraps from his preparations. Then he asked, “Is that… a no?”

“I’m honestly really flattered that someone like you would even consider… me, in any fashion. I just… don’t want to drag someone into my problems,” Eletha told him honestly, voice tinged with regret. “With- well, you know who, back in my life… A lot of old demons are getting dragged back out of the hole I buried them in.”

“I understand. There is a lot to revisit there. Time heals all wounds, so they say, but there’s no rule on how long it takes.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re a good man. You don’t deserve that.”

“It’s quite alright. I respect your honesty and compassion.”

“I would still like to accompany you back to Waterdeep, when this is all done.”

“You don’t wish to go home? I’ve been thinking, with all this traveling, that it would be marvelous to have you as my guide through the Dalelands.”

“I can’t go back there,” Eletha said definitively, taking a long drink of wine until her bottle was empty.

“I see…” Gale was worried, but he tried to not let it show too much. Eletha didn’t always respond well to concern, much like Astarion. It was a little funny how alike they were in some ways and so different in others. “Well, if that’s the case, my home will always be open to you.”

“That’s kind of you. I’ll have to introduce you to all my other traveling friends,” she told him with a wink. “They’re a bunch of weirdos, so-”

“I’ll fit right in?”

“Exactly.”

----

Old habits die hard. When Eletha felt herself slipping, felt that familiar darkness creep back in, she stalked their surroundings while the others slept. It’d be nice to have fresh meat, sometimes she found something worth foraging, but that wasn’t the purpose. The point was to wade through the darkness and wash away all sense of self. Here in the woods, there was no past or future, no responsibilities except the need to survive.

Her sense of self came back as something crashed through the brush. Astarion. As satisfying as it would’ve been to put an arrow in him for bothering her, she scanned the woods for the hidden threat instead.

“It’s just me,” Astarion told her giddily, limping to his feet. Smiling like a fool, swaying in a little circle, arms thrown out wide, he cried out merrily, “There you are! My… Well, I don’t know what you are. You’re not… my darling, my dear, my sweetheart. We’ve tasted each other’s flesh and I can’t even call you my friend.”

“The hell happened to you?” Eletha asked, slinging her bow over her shoulder. He was scuffed up, and not just from running through the bushes.

“I found a bear. Not your bear, obviously. He took a little of my blood, I took all of his,” he explained smugly, swaying and gesticulating animatedly. Fixing his hair, he asked, “What are you doing out here all alone?”

“Running away. Going to Baldur’s Gate all on my own,” she told him casually, not exactly as scathing as she expected it to come out. Astarion laughed and it was so honest and familiar that it made her chest hurt.

“I suppose I deserve that.” He sighed in satisfaction. “You gave me a lot to think about, you know.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“And you call me a cock.” Reflecting the moonlight, his red eyes flickered as he watched her remove the stopper from her waterskin and take a drink. He sobered a bit in order to sound serious. “Those elves. In that vision you showed me. They were our families?”

Eletha took out and put back the stopper several times, sometimes even raising the skin to her lips before pulling it away. His heightened sense of smell could tell it was a liquor, stronger than the one or two cups she’d have with their evening meal. Sometimes he could taste it in her blood when he asked for just a sip.

“Yes,” she managed to answer eventually.

“I don’t know what I want to do. For so long I raged against Cazador for taking my old life away from me, but if I ran off so easily… Would I want to see them again? … Would they want to see me?” he asked himself. “Now I have someone who knows me. How tragic that it’s under such circumstances. Or is it fortuitous? If you’d met me back in Baldur’s Gate, you’d just be another snack for Cazador.”

Eletha took a large swallow from her waterskin and, before she could close it, he took it from her. He had to keep from choking, its strength surprising him. She must have an iron liver to be knocking back stuff like this. He fixed her with his gaze, his eyes roaming over her face, following her scars and lingering on her lips before flicking up to her eyes.

“You told me I have to ask you for what I want,” Astarion whispered, somewhere between dreamy and husky. “I want… for us to be friends. I want to be your Star again, if just for a moment.”

Eletha reached up and threaded her fingers into his curls as she crushed their lips together. Her ears were deaf to everything but the blood rushing through them and their soft moans. The only sensation she knew was his lips against hers and their bodies pressed flush against each other.

For a while now, she’d been walking along the edge of a pit with no discernable bottom. It was the pit where she threw all of the things she left behind. Her family. Her homeland. Her heart. She’d danced on that edge before, longing for something unavailable to her. Something hidden in that pit would sing out to her, bidding her to wallow in that comforting darkness. But she knew that if she went in, she would not come out.

It was so easy, too easy, to open herself back up to the pain he brought her. It was so easy to accept his caresses and meaningless words of affection. With him, she could revel in self-destruction, in the darkness, until the last vestiges of her sanity gave way and she succumbed to madness, where she could finally be free from herself.

The body pressed against her was cold. Its breath was practiced. It didn’t smell quite right. Its movements, while perfectly in concert with her own, were mechanical and impersonal. Its touch was just a bit too forceful, lacking in tenderness and comfort.

This wasn’t right. This wasn’t what she wanted. She’d thought about this for centuries and it felt wrong.

Eletha pushed Astarion away forcefully. His mouth hung open in shock. Hurt reflected in his eyes. She tried to speak, to tell him something, to explain herself. There were so many things she had to say to him.

Then she braced herself on the tree they’d been using for leverage and vomited. Violently. When she was done, her knees wobbled and tears streamed down her face. 

Astarion made a disgusted noise, then clicked his tongue. “Aww. Poor thing. Let’s get you to bed, shall we?”

Thankfully, everyone was asleep. It didn’t look too good, half-dragging Eletha’s limping body into camp.

After making her as comfortable as he could in her tent, Astarion rose to leave. Unexpectedly, her hand snatched his.

“I won’t… let him hurt you… anymore,” she said deliriously, her blue eye hazy with exhaustion. Astarion laughed quietly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he whispered to her. He tried to leave again, but her grip was surprisingly firm.

“If you want… to see them… I can take you…” From the sound of her voice, he could tell that it wasn’t just the exhaustion that made it hard to speak. “You have to promise… to not let them… hurt me… again.”

“Why would they hurt you?” Astarion asked firmly, protectively. Anger flashed in his eyes.

“Because… I did something horrible…” Eletha tried to force back her tears. His shoulders sagged as he sighed. Of course. She was just fucked up from drinking. It did seem to be happening with increased frequency…

“You’re almost as much as of a good-two-shoes as Wyll. There’s no way you did something so bad your family would hurt you.” Astarion managed to get free of her grip and he attempted to tuck her in tightly so she couldn’t escape again. “Now get some rest.”

“No. I don’t want to,” she argued, fighting against the blanket. Quietly, as if the thing she feared could hear them, she whispered, “The bad thing is there.”

“The bad th- You’re a mean old bitch, not some child hiding in their mother’s skirts,” he sniped, reaching for one of her many bags. This one clinked as he rummaged around. “There must be a sleep potion in here somewhere…”

“You can… call me… your friend…”

“I wish I could,” Astarion said with a disappointed sigh, “but you won’t remember this in the morning.”

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Ten

January limps by without anything much to show for itself. The days are long in NCAD, and it seems to me as I trudge up the stairs towards my classrooms and studios in the mornings that time is actually slowing down. The windows cast weak morning light as the sun only begins to rise a little before nine and then dips out again before I leave college in the late afternoon. I feel brittle and pale, deprived of the sun on my skin like some creature doomed to exist perpetually at night. 

February brings with it a sliver of the faintest hope and a freshness in the air that I’d forgotten was possible. Gone is the dampness, the dullness and the grey, and now some mornings when I wake up early enough I’ll walk to college rather than cycle just so I can go through the green and look at the little snowdrops that have poked their way up through the soil, the stalks of the daffodils not yet bloomed but fertile with the promise of spring. Life becomes repetitive in these months though, they feel like purgatory, like you’re stuck in some waiting room somewhere just holding on for the next thing to happen, and the weeks slide by like that.

I still hang out with Marnie, of course, who by now has dumped Ulysses for an equally gormless alternative, the only discernible difference between them is his name. Ferdia. Apart from that she could have switched them out and I would have never noticed. I’ve stopped even making an effort now, because not a single one of them has ever looked me directly in the eye when I’m talking to them.  

Sometimes we hang out with Dean too, whenever he isn’t working, which means it’s either not often or incredibly late at night when he emerges from Primo looking vampiric, all pale, wan skin and a shock of blonde hair, those hazel eyes always looking a bit deranged and manic. He prefers to hang out in places outside of the main drag where the drinks are cheap, because he drinks a lot. Not in the way my father drinks, where he slowly gets through a whiskey, and then another, and another over the course of an evening or a night until he’s accidentally drunk. With Dean there’s this deliberate recklessness to it, like he’s interested specifically in getting twisted using the most efficient process available. It still takes him a long time to do it, I’ve noticed, and even after drinking a staggering amount he manages to just sit there at the table and look normal where I know I’d be hospitalised if I attempted the same. 

We’re at a pub near Mountjoy Square some Tuesday night in late February when he turns up, loping in the door in his work trousers and this oversized fleece. I can see he has his apron rolled into a ball and stuffed into one of its giant pockets. 

“You’re late.” Marnie says. 

“I’m worth waiting for.” He replies as he pulls out a chair next to Fiona at our table and plonks himself into it. “Just the three of you tonight?”

“Yes, is that satisfactory?” 

He smirks at her. “Where’s your boyfriend tonight?” She shrugs and fiddles with her hair in a way that she thinks is nonchalantly, because she doesn’t want to tell him that Ferdia’s not coming out with us anymore as long as Dean keeps saying things to him that make him feel insecure. If he notices or cares about her reaction he doesn’t show it, and instead grabs my empty glass off the table and points at me. “Drink?” 

“Yeah.” I say. “White wine.”

“Okay posho.” he says and then asks the others what they want. When he’s not looking at me anymore I’m free to stare at him. His hair is growing out a bit at the roots now and it’s the same dark, black brown as his eyebrows. I try to visualise what it would look like naturally, and think that maybe it’d suit him, it might make him look less severe. My eyes skate down to where the silver chain around his neck just peeks out from the top of his fleece and glints under the lights of the pub… 

“Anything else? Packet of crisps?” My silent observation is interrupted by Dean abruptly turning back to me and locking his eyes on mine again. 

“Oh, um. No, just the wine would be alright.” 

He gets up, the chair scraping behind him and heads to the bar and I watch him go, walking with that broad, wide legged stance that small men do when they want everyone to think that they’re big. 

“Evie Kilbride!” Fiona puts her hand on mine and forces me to look away from him. She’s using her faux-outraged voice on me and for a horrifying moment I assume she’s seen me checking out Dean. “You never told me it’s your birthday next week! I can’t believe I had to hear this from Marnie.”

“Oh.” I say awkwardly. I didn’t think that Fiona and I were in any way close enough to be sharing our birthday dates with each other. The only thing we have in common is that we both hang out with Marnie so I’m surprised she’s even bringing it up. “It’s on the fourth of March.”

“Twenty?”

“No, nineteen.”

“Oh right, well I thought you looked young.” She looks at her reflection in the window and smooths down her hair. “Do you have a plan?”

“My housemate is taking me out to dinner, actually.”

“Oh, nice. And after that?”

“I don’t know, I suppose we might go to a pub for a few drinks. It’s on a Sunday, so it’s kind of an awkward day.”

“Well what about the night before?” Marnie pipes up. “We could organise a thing with the people from college, book out a section of a bar and have a little bit of a celebration.”

“Oh, no, I-”

“Come on, you’re only nineteen once, let’s make a night of it. I’ll bake a cake for it.”

“You cannot bake.” Fiona scoffs. “I know by the cut of you, you’ve never used an oven in your life. You couldn’t even fry an egg or make a slice of toast.”

Marnie snickers. “Well, fine, alright, perhaps that’s true. But I’ll have one made for her then, I’ll go down to the bakery in Blackrock and order one.”

“That all sounds like a lot.” I protest. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal, it’s not like it’s a significant birthday or anything.”

Fiona rests her chin in her hand and stares at me. Something about her is very feline. “Well, did you have a big eighteenth birthday bash then? Tell us about it.”

I purse my lips as I think back on last year, and how I insisted I didn’t want to acknowledge my birthday for the whole day, even though Claire made a big deal of bringing eighteen cupcakes into school for me with little stripy candles in each of them. I made her light them on the benches at the far side of the hockey field so that nobody in my class would know. Later on we drove to McDonalds and talked in the car. 

“It one of ye’re birthdays is it?” Dean says with minimal interest as he rejoins our table laden with drinks and I immediately scoop the wine glass towards me and take a drink from it to hide my face as Marnie points at me. 

“Evie’s is next week.” She tells him. “And she was trying to hide it. The only reason I found out is because I saw it on Ida’s class list.”

“You shouldn’t be looking at that.” I say, and it makes her roll her eyes. “If she leaves it down on the table I’m obviously going to look at it, babe.”

“Yours?” Dean swivels in his chair to face me. “The big one-nine?”

“What were you doing at nineteen, Dean?” Fiona says. “All those decades ago.”

“Hilarious.” 

“Crazy, growing up during World War 2 I’d say.”

“Yep.”

“How’re the knees?”

“Right, I get it, I’m old.” He rolls his eyes and looks at me as if to say Can you believe how much of a head-wreck she is? Which makes me laugh furtively with him, because I get it. Fiona really does think she’s being funny even when she isn’t. With his full attention on me then he asks me directly. “What are you doing for it?”

“That’s what we were trying to discuss.” Marnie tells him. “I was thinking we’d hire out the back room in a bar and invite a load of people from college. We were just discussing the cake part when you interrupted.”

“Sorry.” He says, non-apologetically.

She turns to me with hands on the table like we’re having an important business discussion. “Do you prefer Chocolate or Red Velvet?”

“I’m not telling you because I don’t want to do this.”

“Oh, Evie, why not?” She whines. “Can’t you see it’ll be fun? When do we get a genuine excuse to celebrate something anymore?”

“Why not for your birthday?”

“Because I’m going skiing in Switzerland for it.” I catch Dean giving me a sidelong glance from the corner of my eye but I know I can’t look at him in case I start laughing. 

“Well,” I say. “It’s still not happening because I’m not able to afford any of that stuff. The venue alone could cost a few hundred euros, and that’s just not possible for me.”

“Don’t be silly, I’ll pay for it.”

“Marnie-” She holds a hand up to silence me. “I literally don’t want to hear about it. It’s whatever. It’s my gift to you.”

I look over at Dean for some support but she’s shrugging. “I mean, if she wants to do it…” He’s saying.

“For God’s sake.” I say, becoming weary from this conversation. “I don’t even have enough friends to fill out a venue, it’d just be empty and embarrassing.”

“You have us, and the twelve others in our class.” Fiona supplies. “Then we have Ferdia’s friends from the poetry nights, and I could ask along some friends from school, your housemate and her boyfriend? Their friends?”

“Yeah, I guess we could ask them.”

Marnie points at Dean. “Are you working that night?”

“Yeah, so I’d be late.”

“Okay so bring your pizza boys.” She leans back in her seat victoriously. “That’s heaps of people. There’s more than a reason to have this party.”

“You’re making it impossible to say no.”

“So say yes.”

“Hmph.”

“Is it a yes?”

“I won’t be able to stop you, will I?”

“No.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

Prev // Next