#I’ll do better next year
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It’s so sad that I decided to come back to tumblr the night after Halloween. I forgot about the trick or treating from last year and I missed the boops
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Inej Ghafa
I’m so proud of this you guys omg
Also I spent so long on the background I might post it just alone it’s not even funny 😭
btw the translation of the Ravkan are “Peanuts - 1.50/ per bag” “To The Saints” and “Circus”
#six of crows#soc#shadow and bone#inej ghafa#inej ghafa fanart#six of crows fanart#soc fanart#grishaverse#Btw i know I made it very like American circus vibes but I tried to make it as homey and what I consider the Suli vibe to be as possible#I’m sure I’ll do better when I vamp it up and redo it probably next year. add more small details and stuff#But for now I’m rly proud of it!
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Its been a good year
Hoping to make more fully rendered illustrations in 2025
#i feel like ive grown more lazy as the year went on#idk i’ll do better next year hopefully#spoiledmilks art#digital art#my art
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me stoically navigating my way through drama bc bigger things are ahead and it’s not my fault people are dumb
#kissed a guy at a kickback and thought we caught a vibe only to find out he just wants to fuck me. next#friend’s bf of 7 years drunkenly hit on me at the same kickback (I was not ok w this). they ended up beefing over me. he denied everything.#do I want to be involved in this? no. and so I simply ignore it and keep it pushing#and the guy I kissed is cancelled. like he is dead to me. so that’s also taken care of#it’s back to studying full-time for the mcat#going to the gym/taking walks daily#volunteering at the refugee center + clinic#getting published in orgo research papers#and trying to snag the opportunity to shadow doctors at a massive cancer research center. like I’d kill for it#december was such a mess but I’ve finally made peace w the fact that most of the stuff that happened I couldn’t prevent#but I’ve mourned it enough !! whatever drama comes out of it I’ll handle just fine#i literally want to be a multitasking academic weapon everyone is intimidated of this year#i am not letting something as puny as a dumb man (both of them btw) stop me. goodbye#also everyone involved is older than me (they’re both 23) but it all just feels like such high school behavior#this is not a euphoria episode like I’m literally just not entertaining any of this#had to get this off my chest. i feel better#p
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all the books I read this year :D
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Started off doing a sketch of Mabel and it somehow turned into this. I can’t draw backgrounds to save my life, but I tried. This is my official second study I’ve done and finished. My goal is to draw more backgrounds this year. 💫
#Not too bad considering I literally don’t do backgrounds AT ALL#I’ll be spending the rest of the year doing studies I guess#I kind of want to paint the mystery shack next 🫣#but yeah sorry that the background and character don’t match lol#gravity falls#gravity falls fandom#mabel pines#gravity falls mabel#art#artist#artists on tumblr#artist on tumblr#digital artist#digital drawing#gravity falls fanart#digital art#ArtistFX#click for better quality
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my romantic self-esteem is just absolutely rock-solid. for whatever reason!
#I’m a catch!#and I’m so not interested in anybody who wouldn’t demonstrably make my life better in every way#and that involves not being afraid of me or the idea of romance/marriage in general#and if you are afraid it just isn’t interesting or attractive enough for me#there was a boy a few years ago and tbh I think he liked me#and I liked him! he was cute he was intense in an endearing way#and he was smart#we argued about Taylor and then the next time I saw him he was like Christmas tree farm is a good song#(it had just come out)#and he never did anything about it and then he moved away and that is totally fine#and I wish him well.#but the crush was killed by the simple fact that he never liked me enough to say it#like truly and with all (non-romantic) love; go with God#at that point lol#that said I have never wanted marriage or children as an abstract concept#so it makes it much easier to think along these lines#it would be so devastating to want it so badly and not get it!#but I can’t even imagine summoning the desire for it in an abstract sense#I’ll meet someone and love them and then that will lead to marriage and possibly children#or I won’t#but both roads look about the same to me in terms of desire#or any desire big enough worth mentioning#not talking about the whispers or the daydreams that do sometimes intrude#but yeah I don’t think full desire would come until there was a person#and there might not be! I cannot conjure them from the deeps lol#anyway I’ll stop talking about it because I know it can be sensitive/delicate to talk about#in a public setting
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[Image ID in alt text]
I cleaned up a previous venti sketch for his birthday! I wasn’t well prepared so it’s only a quick doodle
#art#genshin impact#venti#genshin#fanart#genshin fanart#venti my love (no hetero) I’ll do better next year don’t worry
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#the fact that I single handedly planned this birthday party within 4 days#is impressive and disappointing at the same time#fortunately enough people will be able to attend despite the short notice#and I’m lucky enough that the cake shops I ordered from and pizza place as well as sandwich place are willing to cater to such short notice#honestly it’s working out#but I swear next year I will not do it like this#so rushed and without plan and crossing my fingers that Amazon will be able to deliver decorations#and lucking out big time that the kids place venue had an availability right before his birthday too#it’s just a lot of luck that saved me this time#but my kid deserves more#more effort more planning#next time I’ll do better#and right now I just feel relieved#that I was able to accomplish so much#despite having things going on this week#and being sick AGAIN#and ironing out family drama too#I’m just ready to drop it all and feel some sense of accomplishment#and just let someone else take care of me and think for me for a while#cause I’m entirely drained
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Happy birthday mouse. Don’t worry I’m at least this time I’m hyperfixating on something toon related
#I would draw something better but I’m just. not gonna#Take this buddy. I’ll do better next year I promise#disney#mickey mouse
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r u ever thinking of bringing the etsy shop back?
Probably! I know a lot of people have been wanting it to come back but for personal reasons I had took it down. I really do want to bring it back though with new goods : )
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Fuck I just remembered I have to do the master stats for my ao3 wrapped this year Fuuuuuuck
#ao3 wrapped#Regret#my life has gotten significantly better since I stopped doing the monthly updates so if I do this again next year#which I almost definitely will#I’ll only do the end of year update#maybe a half way through update idk
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💚💜Happy Birthday to one of the most interesting characters in Rain Code: Vivia Twilight💜💚
For his birthday today, I made a little poem bc Vivia is a poetry man (and I am a writer, so this is perfect for me to do!).
Each day, new life comes forth
A start of something new
Whether in paradise or hell
Fate decides for you.
The day gifts you with the gift of screams
Everyday, every souls haunt you.
Everyday, death awaits you in your life.
Until it is more familiar than Life itself.
Life is supposed to be alive
Noise of the world around you
Presence of those around you
Yet they were never welcoming
In Death nor in Life
Until darkness comes
With the loudest screams you could hear
Yet here it will be
Where Life can finally take place
#master detective archives: rain code#rain code#Vivia twilight#happy birthday vivia 2024#btw I actually have another piece I plan to work on for Vivia’s birthday too but school took up too much of my time#a better excuse than with Makoto’s birthday😅#also I came up with this poem on the fly#hopefully I’ll do better next year#or in my poem piece soon#i do apologize that this is bad#I may revise/edit it later
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youtube
#i’m terrified to ever watch this movie. i think it would kill me. basically it’s about a marriage falling apart.#anyway—adam driver would do so good as bobby in company and i would die to see him in it#i’m seeing company tonight!!#it’s a special musical to me. it’s about marriage. how marriage is both exciting and boring and makes your life better and worse.#the months leading up to our wedding i was kind of a cynical mental wreck. there was so much i did not like about my husband-to-be.#sometimes i felt like the only reason i was going through with the marriage was because it was too late to get out of it.#i had spent my teen and college years wanting to have a boyfriend/husband then i got one and realized#oh wait this didn’t actually fix my problems huh#actually there are NEW problems now#and then somehow this past year has actually been like. the best year of my life lol#it’ll be a year next month!#yea there are still those Little Things. sometimes there are Bigger Things. but bruh this dude is so good for me#i have never been thriving as much as i have this year.#i’m so much healthier in so many ways than i have ever been all my life#and like it’s cringe to say that cuz i don’t want to say MARRIAGE is what fixed me but. i think it’s okay to say that#there must be some kind of GOOD to marriage otherwise there’d be no point in doing it#and i think i make his life better too. he tells me so at least lol.#and i’ll only be able to watch the show with one eye LOL but my husboi will be with me watching this musical#that i used to listen to when i was angsty about getting married#and now we are married#and life is great.#somebody need me too much#somebody know me too well#somebody pull me up short and put me through hell#and give me support#for being alive…#yeah there are times when it’s harder than being single but. the blessings are multiplied along with the hardship.#shywalker stuff#Youtube
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Ugh. I had a really bad day.
#chat sesh with iris#vent in the tags#had to get a super personal reminder of someone who I used to know who left me YEARS AGO but it still upsets me to hear her name and I#literally saw HER MOM who proceeded to talk a bunch about what she’s been doing#tw suicide mention#tw suicidal ideation#in the tags lol#so warning that it’s in the next tag#like I think about killing myself whenever I have a passing thought about her so this was too much#I’m not going to do it I’m physically safe 👍👍👍 but like#even despite all of the shitty things that happened I was still having a pretty good week because like. people have been really nice to me.#and I’ve been having a little fun#but this is way too far to excuse like practically no matter what else happened or happens 😭😭😭#like hearing how much better her life is than mine#I literally had to physically leave the situation#like she had finally after YEARS(!!!) gotten mostly off of my mind#but not anymore#the heaviest sigh ever#anyway I would apologize for venting but like this is my blog 👍👍👍#I don’t really have anywhere else to talk about it#like even the people who I consider my best friends did not care or respond or ask questions when I mentioned that I was having like a-#breakdown in public#other than one#shoutouts#and I’m probably going to sleep really soon so maybe I’ll wake up and think this is too personal and delete it#like if I’m only posting because of how tired I was#or who knows maybe my thoughts will keep me awake for hours#I still have nightmares about her#BLUE AND DAWN AND HOP AND ARVEN AND GREEN SAVE ME!!!!!
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oh so i kinda confessed that i feel useless to my family but apparently i’m actually the cheerleader/clown/‘heart’ of the family who helps them get through things emotionally……. they didn’t say or even imply this but i think i’ve been slacking on that front
#after finding out i may have overblown the severity of the situation i was able to look at things a little more objectively#at least in terms of psychology so i could remind my dad that him crying in front of me for the first time in like ten years isn’t weakness#without breaking down again#we all had a good group hug it was nice#but when that happens my dog gets cares because she thinks it’s some sort of altercation lmao#money will still be tight but no significant sacrifices need to be made#can’t wait to actually do the volunteer work i said i would do for the animal shelter once it gets cooler#also the pool at my barely-a-job job is getting cleaned tomorrow so i’ll get to swim once more without clearing the filters myself#(well me and my dad…. i actually made a game of leaf diving for the extra sunken mulberry castings from the tree in the next yard#after we pulled a bunch of leaves out of the flapper thing and skimmed most of the leaves from the drain)#(I put a single chlorine tab in one of those floating things so after all of that it started flowing a lot better and looking cleaner)
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